Gwyneth Paltrow Interviews Jay Shetty ON: Daily Actions to Build Life-Changing Habits & Training Your Mind to Break Old Patterns

This is a special episode of On Purpose where Gwyneth Paltrow sits down with Jay Shetty in her goop event held at the Porsche Design Center in Los Angeles with only 150 people in the audience. We get to listen to Jay’s journey as a monk and his career shift after leaving monkhood, how we can condition our mind to find strength and happiness, and what can help us learn how to appreciate our step by step journey. Gwyneth is an American actress and lifestyle innovator. She won an Oscar for Best Actress for her role in Shakespeare in Love in 1999, and later appeared in Iron Man and other films from the Marvel franchise. Her lifestyle brand, goop, was launched in 2008. Achieve success in every area of your life with Jay Shetty’s Genius Community. Join over 10,000 members taking their holistic well-being to the next level today, at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:17 From being a monk to a life coach 05:28 Why mini experiments are important in our lives 08:23 The more choices we have, the worst mistakes we make 10:05 Learning how to find stillness in discomfort 13:50 Why our minds are compared to monkeys 16:49 When you wake up to notifications, negativity, news, and noise 22:03 Committing to a 2-hour daily meditation 25:51 The types of meditation 28:28 Appreciating where you are in life 31:06 Create dreams through people 33:28 The most powerful dreams are linked to service and impact 35:07 When is the best time to switch? Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally! Episode Resources: Gwyneth Paltrow | Twitter Gwyneth Paltrow | Instagram Gwyneth Paltrow | Facebook goop See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells,

• 1:30Jay Shetty?

  Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1

• 2:59Jay Shetty?

  Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. Hey, it's Jay Shetty and I just want to take a moment to thank you, to express my deepest gratitude to you for choosing to listen to On Purpose for our first episode of this year, 2022. This year is going to be the biggest, the best, the deepest, the most genuine and most sincere year on On Purpose of all time. Since we launched in 2019, I've had the pleasure and the honour of sitting down with some incredible guests.

• 3:42Jay Shetty?

  Everyone from Will Smith to Alicia Keys, Yuval Noah Harari to Ray Dalio, all the way through to Janae Aiko, Big Sean, Russ, and many, many more. We've had incredible thinkers like Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gretchen Rubin, and Dr. Mark Hyman. I really hope that you're going to go back and listen to any of those guests that you're excited about, but I also hope that you'll join me this year for new guests and new insights. Here's how it works. Every Monday, I launch an episode, which is an interview star with a guest, and on Friday, a solo episode where I dive deep into something I've been going into with my health and wellness journey. I couldn't be more grateful and proud of the amazing community that we've built here on On Purpose.

• 4:26Jay Shetty?

  I love seeing your Instagram posts, your tweets, and every other social media platform you're on. And this year... It's just going to be phenomenal. Thank you for joining me today. I can't wait for you to listen to this episode. This is a special behind the scenes episode of an interview between me and Gwyneth Paltrow at her Goop event. This took place at the Porsche Design Center in LA and there were only around 150 people in the audience. This is a sneak peek. This is what we do on On Purpose. I really hope you enjoyed this conversation. I can't wait to see your reviews and I hope you share it.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  I'm so happy to see you.

• 5:10Jay Shetty?

  So nice to see you. Thank you for having me.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  I didn't know if you were gonna make it after all those dwali parties that I tell you.

• 5:17Jay Shetty?

  It has been a really crazy week, but in a good way. And I'm just really grateful to be here with all of you. Thank you so much for having me. This is beautiful.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Thank you so much. Thank you. So I would love it if you could just give everybody a little bit of your amazing story and how you came through being a monk and into being this amazing life coach and motivator and all of the amazing things that you are.

• 5:45Jay Shetty?

  So I was born and raised in London and I grew up in a family where I had three options to be a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure. And I chose the third option. And so to my parents' surprise, when I was 18 years old, I told them that when I graduated from school that I would go off to become a monk and they didn't believe me. They were just like, yeah, sure, it's a phase. And so when I was 18 years old, I was invited to an event at my university and it was somewhat similar to this in the sense that the event was around introducing people at university to thinkers, thought leaders. I know you've had an incredible lineup of guests this evening.

• 6:27Jay Shetty?

  And I went along because my friends promised me that we would go to a bar afterwards. I didn't want to go to this event. And I said, as long as we go to a bar afterwards, I'll come and hear this monk or whatever you want me to hear. So I went along to this event and this monk was speaking and I went there expecting nothing. But I walked away feeling like I'd completely found a new path in life, because the monk was speaking about selflessness and service and using our time to have an impact in the world. So when I graduated, I traded my suits for robes. I lived on the floor. All my possessions fit inside a gym locker. We meditated for four to eight hours a day, and I lived that life for three years.

• 7:12Jay Shetty?

  And then at the end of it, there were two things, and the fast version is my teachers said to me that they felt that it was time for me to go on and share what I'd learned. It was one of those "it's not you, it's me" conversations. I basically got kicked out of being a monk, so my parents were like, "You failed at this too." And when I came back, which was now eight years ago, I really, really saw a world in which everything I'd learned, I felt had so much of a space in these busy, hectic, chaotic lives. And I had no idea how I was going to try and share what I'd learned, but I started and took a few steps and then, you know, here we are today where I've been really fortunate and feel really grateful that

• 7:57Jay Shetty?

  I've been able to work with so many incredible people, I've been able to connect with so many beautiful humans, I've been able to connect with so many of you that I bumped into today as well, and I think that it all started because I met someone who changed the trajectory of my life. And had I not met him, then I wouldn't be here today.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  But that's a pretty extreme outcome, right? Like, a lot of us have read a book or heard a talk and felt inspired or felt a calling to change our lives or to think about things in a different way. But to go and renounce life as you knew it for three years is a pretty bold move. And I wanted to ask you, what was the process like of letting go of the material world, if you will? And was that traumatic at all? Was there grief in it? Like, how did you get used to the life as a monk, having been just a normal London student?

• 8:56Jay Shetty?

  I think there were a few things. The first thing was, when I, when I met him, and now when I reflect on it, I realized that, at the time, when I was 18 years old, I'd met a lot of people who were rich. I'd met people that had been famous. I'd met people who were successful. I'd met people who were strong and powerful and beautiful, but I don't think I'd met anyone who was truly happy. And he, he was happy. He still is happy. He's still a monk today. And he was happy, and I thought, I want to understand that. And it was almost a moment of, I want that. So, my 22-year-old self, when I went off to become a monk, I had this boundless enthusiasm

• 9:38Jay Shetty?

  to say, I want to live this process exactly how they live it. I don't want to take any shortcuts. I don't want to let my mind keep me in my comfort zone. I have to go all out. And so I feel like it was almost a boundary or a commitment that I made, that no matter how I feel, I'm going to live it exactly how they do. Because maybe if I don't do it how they are, then I won't reap the benefits. And so I think actually it was easier at the time. Now, if you ask me to do it, I'd be like, no, I'm fine. Like, I really like my bed, and I like sleeping for eight hours a night. But at the time, I had this enthusiasm, which was, I just want to see if it works. And I think that's why

• 10:22Jay Shetty?

  many experiments are so important in our lives. You don't have to do it for three years, but the mini experiment of, let me for a week, follow it exactly like this person's saying. Let me for a weekend, do exactly what I'm hearing or reading in this book or from this speaker. Let me for this day, just live that way and see what happens. And so actually, removing myself from the material world when I became a monk was easier because for the four years in between, I'd been doing these mini experiments. So the first time I went to the ashram and they told me that I couldn't listen to 50 Cent, like that moment, that moment was hard. Because I was like, what, I don't get to listen to music?

• 11:06Jay Shetty?

  And then they told me that I wouldn't get to watch television, or... So the first time I went... That was hard. But what I realized was the sacrifice was just not comparable to the payoff. And I think that's what it comes down to. You have the choice to do all these things whenever you want, anytime. So to close off for a day, a weekend, a week, it's worth the test, it's worth the experiment.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  That's so interesting. So what do you think it is about not having free will in whatever these circumstances are that has power in it?

• 11:42Jay Shetty?

  Well, I think, Gwyneth, I think we've come to a place where we feel that freedom and the freedom of unlimited choice is power. And we've all realized, and the science and the studies all show this, that the more choice we have, the worse mistakes we make. And we make poorer decisions based on this complete limitless choice. And I found that actually, when you stripped away some of that choice, your ability to make decisions grew. Because now, I wasn't experiencing what we all know now to be called decision fatigue. I wasn't wasting my time making decisions that were irrelevant to my personal fulfillment and satisfaction. So now, when you're not having to think about

• 12:27Jay Shetty?

  certain choices in your day, you're freed up to make choices in a healthier way. And so I found that actually, making certain parts of our life systematic, routine, habitual, communal as well, allowed for space for creativity, spontaneity, and true expression. Whereas I think a lot of us feel like, no, no, if I just can choose everything that I do every day, that will give rise to spontaneity, but it does the opposite.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:56Jay Shetty?

  Does that make sense?

• 12:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally. It sounds like it adds, like these are the layers of responsibility that we heap on ourselves, which is like choices that we make actually keep us sort of enslaved to the responsibility.

• 13:10Jay Shetty?

  Yes, exactly.

• 13:12Speaker 01

  So when you were there, did you, were you able to really connect with happiness? And did you bring it home?

• 13:25Jay Shetty?

  I think when I was there, I was able to really learn how to find stillness in discomfort. And I think that was the biggest thing that I gained from that. So I'll tell you a story of an experience that I would never wish on anyone and do not recommend. But we did a 72-hour train journey from North India to South India. 72 hours. It has random stops, but you don't actually physically get off for longer than 15 minutes at a stop. So there's no pause, so 72 hours. And as a monk, you travel in like coach, but coach in India is not coach in the United States.

• 14:06Jay Shetty?

  So coach is like, you're literally surrounded by people who haven't paid for a ticket. Like it's just infiltrated with people. And you're just surrounded by all these villages and people that you haven't even met. They don't have a ticket and you don't even know where they're going. And I decided that I wouldn't eat for three days because on the first day I saw the state of the toilet and the restroom on the train. And so I decided I would do a voluntary fast. And you know, to all my teachers, I seemed really detached at this point. They were just like, wow. And I was like, yeah, I'm just, I'm so detached and renounced now from food. And, and really, I was just like, no, I do not want to go in there. So, so that's, this is a very uncomfortable scenario.

• 14:51Jay Shetty?

  As a Londoner, I'm, I'm used to taking the underground and, you know, used to driving around in my car. And I'm used to, you know, clean bathrooms and all the rest of it. So this is an uncomfortable situation. And it was really interesting because I remember saying to my teacher, who we were traveling with, that I would meditate in the stops. I said to him, it's too chaotic on the train. I said, it's too difficult to focus on the train. When we stop, I'll get off, I'll meditate for 20 minutes, I'll come back on, and I'll do that every stop. And he looked me in the eyes and he said, "Do you think life is going to be chaotic like the train or still like the stop?"

• 15:34Jay Shetty?

  And I was like, is this a trick question? I don't know. He said, he said, "Life is going to be chaotic like the train. And so if you don't learn how to meditate on the train, meditating on the stop is not going to help you." And I think that in a nutshell is how I feel I experienced joy, happiness. The happiness wasn't in an experience of feeling happy in the way we think about it. It was in the joy of knowing I could navigate any situation. It wasn't that you felt happy because you did something right. It's because you never felt like you didn't know what to do to navigate pain.

• 16:16Jay Shetty?

  And so that's where the definition of knowing how to navigate challenges became more joyful than the idea that I could avoid challenges. And I think that desire of, you know, where we are today, where we call them unwanted emotions, the challenges, everything we don't want is unavoidable. So if I say I never want to feel pain again, or I never want to feel stress again, that's not true for anyone, including the monks, including me, including any of us. And so actually knowing that I am going to feel all of these things, but I know what to do with them, that is a position of strength and joy and happiness. This episode is brought to you by Indeed.

• 17:00Jay Shetty?

  I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply.

• 17:45Jay Shetty?

  Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980.

• 18:02Jay Shetty?

  That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colours, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods, Market, in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision-making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there.

• 18:46Jay Shetty?

  Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. And what do you do with... Laugh is actually truly one of them. There's, the mind is compared to a monkey in The Vedas, and it's been popularised today in psychology as well as the monkey mind, but monks refer to the mind like a monkey. And if you've ever seen a monkey, they are hilarious. So in India, we would see monkeys all the time, and they would trade their banana for a credit card. Like they would literally swap, and then they would swap it right back. And you'd see monkeys like chase anything that looked like food in your bag, and they'd rip it and steal it like they're the best thieves.

• 19:31Jay Shetty?

  And monkeys are these hilarious characters. And the reason why the mind is compared to a monkey is because sometimes we need to laugh at the things our mind comes up with. Now, what we choose to do currently is we choose to criticise ourselves, or we choose to judge ourselves. When our mind does something that we don't like, we think... This literally happened to me the other day. I was, I was in Dallas at my first keynote back since the pandemic, and I went in to get a tea at a coffee shop and get some coffee for some of my team members. And I was waiting there, and I went to the front, and the barista was serving us. And she made a mistake in how much change she gave me, and I didn't notice actually. I was like, oh, thank you so much. And I was about to walk out.

• 20:15Jay Shetty?

  And, and literally as I was just about to turn, she said, "I'm the worst." She just stopped and I said, "Are you okay?" And she said, "Oh, I just gave you the wrong change. I'm the worst. I'm so sorry." And I was like, and I literally looked her in the eye and said, "I said, 'You're not the worst. You're a human. You made a mistake. It's okay. It's fine. You're wonderful. Thank you for noticing.'" And then she gave me the right change and I left. And I was just thinking, "Wow, like she saw the monkey mind make a mistake and she judged herself. She criticized herself." And so the first thing we have to do is honestly switch critiquing for laughing. Laugh when the monkey mind makes a mistake. When your mind tells you something that genuinely is not true, allow yourself to laugh. Allow yourself to see it with a bit of humor.

• 20:58Jay Shetty?

  And when you start to see that, you start to notice that when you don't take the mind so seriously, it doesn't have that much of a serious effect on you. Moving on from that, sometimes our emotions are a bit more deeper and it's hard to laugh at them. They're more painful than that. And I find that again in that scenario, our desire is to, you know, push them under the carpet, lock them in a door, force them away. And actually, in those moments, understanding that, accepting that emotion and recognizing that, knowing that it's going to be there, it's almost like the weather. If I always say, "I don't want it to be, I don't want it to rain. I never want it to rain." And then it rains, now I'm scared, I'm unprepared, and I'm stressed.

• 21:43Jay Shetty?

  Whereas if I accept that it's going to rain, I get time to go and pack my umbrella and my raincoat. And so I think it's about developing the umbrella and the raincoat. And for our emotions, the umbrella is community and the raincoat is our tools and our habits and our practices of reflection that help us break them down.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  How do we go about cultivating that, that inner life, that space, so that we can separate ourselves from these emotions that blow through us and...

• 22:13Speaker 01

  And seem like they they take us over.

• 22:16Jay Shetty?

  I genuinely believe that we all have to have a foundation of our daily routine that gives us the feelings we want. So the challenge is that we're surrounded by a day where we don't get the feeling we want. And that's what we consider to be a bad day. I didn't get what I wanted, therefore today's a bad day. And actually, in that moment, instead of wanting a good day, if we start by creating a foundational set of habits and activities that can set us up for that day, the healthier we are. So I'll give an example. You know, eighty percent of us, studies show, wake up to our phones first thing in the morning. So we see our phones before we see our partners and our kids. And we see our phones lasting at night after we see our partners and our kids.

• 23:01Jay Shetty?

  And so our phone gets more face time than the people we love. And when I think about that, I think to myself, when you wake up to the phone in the morning, you wake up to notifications, negativity, news, and noise. And these four things make you feel like you're starting your day at the bottom of a ladder, and now you're spending the day catching up to yourself. Whereas if your day started with four key habits of thankfulness, inspiration, meditational mindfulness, and exercise, you're now starting your day at a plus four. And now even if the rest of the day is challenging, you still end up at a plus two or a plus one. And so I like to set myself up by saying, what are the habits that I can practice today

• 23:45Jay Shetty?

  that are going to make me feel like my day is going in the right direction? And they are truly simple. Thankfulness takes thirty seconds. Here's the best way to practice it. I don't recommend a gratitude journal. I don't recommend writing it down. I recommend expressing it, making it specific, and personalizing it. Send a text, send a voice note, send an email, send a message to someone that you're grateful to for the next seven days. Send them a message and make it really specific. Don't just say, "Thank you, GP, for this wonderful event." Not good enough. Say, "Thank you for the amazing decor. Thank you for the incredible experience. Thank you for what this felt like, looked like, what it smelt like." Like, share the depth of how that experience was for you.

• 24:29Jay Shetty?

  If you do that gratitude actually has the ability to boost your immune system. It has the ability to shift your perspective and boost your mood. But if you do it in a way of I'm grateful for the air, I'm grateful for my kids, I'm grateful for my job. That doesn't have that impact and effect.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Because it stays with you.

• 24:48Jay Shetty?

  Because it stays within you and gratitude is meant to be shared. It's a gift that you get to give someone else. Inspiration is a big one for me. It's at one point in my life, I remember listening to, apart from the monks, but listening to Steve Jobs's Stanford commencement speech every day for nine months in a row. And not only did I know the words off by heart, it really changed my heart by listening to that speech every day. The words in it are so profound and so powerful that you start to rewire the neurons in your mind. Like it's genuinely changing the makeup of your mind. I recently sat down with Matthew McConaughey on my podcast. And I said to him that I listened to his Oscars acceptance speech every day. It's a five minute speech, it will only take five minutes.

• 25:33Jay Shetty?

  I said I listened to it every day for 30 days in a row. And that rewires how your mind works. Now, you don't have to listen to the people I'm recommending. But whoever it is that you're drawn to in your life, I promise you, if you listen to the same thing every single day because you like it that much, it will start to rewire how you think. It's as simple as that. And then meditation and exercise, of course, which I can go into. But those four habits for me are like my staple, my main course. And everything else is sides and dessert.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  All right, all right, all right.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  How do you, how do you meditate? Do you still meditate for 45 minutes in the morning and the night?

• 26:14Jay Shetty?

  Two hours now. It's been two hours for 16 years.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Two hours? I thought it was 45 minutes.

• 26:19Jay Shetty?

  It's been two hours for 16 years, so.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  So I find meditation.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Elusive. And I do it every morning and I do TM. And like this morning, I had the worst meditation. And I was like counting, I wanted to open my eyes and check the timer. And some mornings, I go really deep. And it's like the most beautiful experience. So why, why does that happen? And what can I do to, I don't know, it sounds stupid, like improve the quality of my meditation? But I don't know if you guys ever, if you meditate and you have those days where, I mean, my meditation teacher said to me, even in a shallow dive, you get wet, so still do it.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  But I was just wondering, like, do you have these euphoric, deep meditations every day for two hours?

• 27:19Jay Shetty?

  I love that. How, how many people in the room meditate regularly? How many people don't meditate? And how many people don't put up their hands, no matter what I say?

• 27:28Speaker 01

  A lot.

• 27:29Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for being honest. I appreciate the honesty. So, yeah, so I started my two-hour meditation practice when I was 18 years old. I'm 34 today, so it's been 16 years that I've been meditating for two hours a day. And that form has taken many different formats. So it could be two hours in the morning straight, it could be an hour and an hour, it could be four blocks of half an hour each, depending on what day it is. Especially now with my busy schedule, it, it changes all the time.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  And how did you land on two hours? Just out of curiosity.

• 27:57Jay Shetty?

  I landed on two hours because as a monk, in my tradition, that amount of time was allotted to anyone who wanted to be a teacher. So for the integrity of my teaching and my practice and the coaching work I do, that's a basic commitment I've made to my teachers as how much I need to do. And so it's, it's purely based on my relationship with my meditation teacher, who has trusted me with the ability to teach meditation. And so it's, it's like this big responsibility that I have to keep up with. But it, it's beautiful, it's really fulfilling. And so like you, I have meditations where I feel like I need to check my phone.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Still?

• 28:37Jay Shetty?

  Still.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  To this day?

• 28:38Jay Shetty?

  Till this day, till this day.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  And so what a...

• 28:41Jay Shetty?

  Till this day.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  What a...

• 28:42Jay Shetty?

  And so... The beauty again, so I have had euphoric, deep, immersive experiences through meditation that have proved to me that meditation works, that have helped me have a glimpse into the deepest experiences that meditation can take you to. But I don't want to talk about those because they don't help anyone. But what does help is this idea of knowing that what we're actually doing, when you're having that shallow dive, when you're turning up regardless, you're training your mind to be where you are. You're training your mind to do uncomfortable things.

• 29:22Jay Shetty?

  You're training your mind to not just freely do whatever it feels like in that moment. It's back to the free will. It's back to the free will. You are showing yourself that even if it's difficult, I can sit with this discomfort. Even if I don't sit with the discomfort perfectly, I have sat with the discomfort. And that sitting with discomfort is setting you up for success in so many other areas of your life, rather than the desire of like, "I don't like this, let me get out of here." And so I find that meditation's experience is not meant to be a euphoric, ecstatic experience every time.

• 30:03Jay Shetty?

  It's actually meant to just give you a signal and an alert as to how you feel today. So if you feel distracted today, meditation is just showing you that today you're going to be more distracted, maybe don't make any big decisions. Use it as a signal. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, if I meditate and I fall asleep, like I did this afternoon, right? That's my body telling me, "Hey, because you were still today, you needed more sleep." So meditation is aligning your body and mind so that they can actually do what they want to do. And if the answer is distraction, "Let me not make good, big decisions today. Let me not take seriously today maybe how I feel about someone."

• 30:47Jay Shetty?

  You know, maybe let me not say something that I don't mean today because actually my mind's distracted.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can use it as a litmus test.

• 30:55Jay Shetty?

  Exactly. That's, I see meditation as that.

• 30:57Speaker 01

  That's so interesting, right.

• 30:58Jay Shetty?

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• 31:43Jay Shetty?

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• 33:04Jay Shetty?

  Cool.

• 33:05Speaker 01

  Right.

• 33:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 33:06Speaker 01

  And so if someone wants to start meditation, how do you suggest that they do it? Are there certain apps or certain books one should read?

• 33:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so there are three types of meditation that I was trained in that I see across the world today. There's breathwork, there's visualization, and there's mantra. So TM, of course, is mantra. Visualization, I'm sure you've heard of, but visualization is actually even performed by Formula One racers, athletes who visualize. And then you have breathwork, of course, which, again, I feel is quite widely spread today. And that was the order in which we were trained in it. So breathwork helped to calm and still the body. Visualization helped to focus the mind. And then mantra helped really heal the heart and soul. So it was this ascending process. And so I found that starting with breathwork is a great foundation because it sets you up physically

• 33:59Jay Shetty?

  and then moving to visualization and then to mantra as an ascending process. And so I know there's countless apps out there. I recommend whichever one truly works for you. I don't have a prescribed app because I do think meditation is so personal. But I would definitely start with the breath and then experiment with visualization and mantra as well. And the power of mantra is phenomenal because hearing the sound, even if whispered, we all know that sound transports us. We can hear a song that we grew up to, and you're transported back. You can hear a sound that you don't like, and you're already feeling emotions that you don't like. And so the power of sacred sound

• 34:42Jay Shetty?

  or spiritual sound is to transport you. And so mantra is my chosen form of meditation too, and it's, in my opinion, the most powerful for those deep experiences within. But I feel breathwork and visualization are the launchpad for that type of meditation.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  You said that you fell asleep during your meditation today and it just reminded me that, so the theme of this has been dreams, you know, sort of following your dreams. And I was wondering in your coaching practice, so when, when somebody comes to you, you know, I had a session earlier where this beautiful young woman said she's having a difficult time because she's in a job that she doesn't love and doesn't feel like it's her calling, but she feels scared to dare to dream about what that even would be, or kind of give herself the permission to do that. So in your coaching practice, what, how do you, what would you say to her? And what would you say in terms of finding that? Like, is that manifestation?

• 35:45Speaker 01

  Is that like, how do you start to connect with those ideas of who you could be in your next iteration?

• 35:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I, so I can relate to that. I just, just over five years ago, I was in a job just like that. Because when I came back from being a monk, I had to pay the bills, I had to pay off my student loan. I couldn't rely on my parents, who I moved in with when I first came back, but they weren't financially capable, of course, to take care of me for the rest of my life. And I already moved back in when I was 26 years old, after living as a monk for three years. And so for me, I was in that position just over five years ago. So I know exactly what that feels like. And what I'd say to that is the first step is learning to appreciate where you are.

• 36:36Jay Shetty?

  Because if we can't appreciate where we are, we will never appreciate where we get to. And that is just the truth, anyone and everyone. Someone could say, "Well, you know, I'm, I'm running a great business, but only when I exit will I really feel happy." Or someone may say, "I'm, you know, building this brand, but only when we work with this partner will I feel satisfied." And I feel that we're constantly, in any scenario, postponing our feeling of joy and success and happiness. And so for me, when I was in this corporate job, my goal was, how can I appreciate where I am? And the only way to appreciate where you are is asking yourself,

• 37:21Jay Shetty?

  "What can I learn here that might be useful for later?" And if I look back and I honestly ask myself, so many of the skills that I learned in that job over five years ago are huge parts of my business, my ventures, my work today. That if I didn't have that experience, I'd actually be really bad at what I do today. And I wouldn't have the skills that I do. So I think there is an honoring of where we are because something in your life has brought you there. And I often say to people, like, you're exactly where you need to be. And we're scared of accepting that because we're like, well, I don't like being here. But that's because we don't see it as part of our story. So focus on what can I learn in this job? Maybe it's networking, maybe it's sales,

• 38:04Jay Shetty?

  maybe it's connecting with different people from different backgrounds. Maybe my company is launching a program to learn about crypto, right? I'm gonna dive into that, whatever it may be, as you as an individual. What are you drawn to? Try and take a moment to learn and therefore appreciate where you are. The second step I'd say when it comes to dreaming is I really believe we dream through people. I think we dream through people. And what I mean by that is that there's a beautiful statement by Marion Edelman, who said that you can't be what you can't see. And I love that so much because if you don't see something happen, if you don't experience it, you will never want to become it or follow it.

• 38:48Jay Shetty?

  So if I never met a monk, I would never have dreamed of becoming a monk. I would never, that would never even crossed my path. And what I find so fascinating, this is why I love what you do and I honor it so much in all the amazing programming you've created, what you've done with Goop and the incredible work that you've done with the shows that you've created because you're introducing us to people and ideas that are taboo, untalked about. And the point of that is, it's incredible. We live in a world where you can access anything at any time, yet we all follow the same people, watch the same people, and pretty much talk about the same people and shows and things. It's incredible, right?

• 39:31Jay Shetty?

  It blows my mind that in a world where we could literally access a random tribe in the middle of another country if we really wanted to, through the powers, we're all watching Squid Games, right? And no offense to Squid Games, there's nothing wrong with it. The point I'm making is that we all get very... We all get just enamored by the same things. And when I look at the most amazing experiences I've had in my life, it's when I've become enamored by something that's different and unique and has been more random. And so I feel that there's a need to explore and expose ourselves to people and experiences that you don't just come across every day. And of course, that's what your work's doing.

• 40:16Jay Shetty?

  It's why I have my podcast, because I can sit down with people. And even if they're people that you know, I'm hoping that we can go deeper with them or go to a place that you haven't seen. And if it's people you don't know, well, that's fresh anyway. And so I feel like exposing ourselves to more people allows us to dream through people. You see someone and you think, oh, I love what they're doing. I love what they're about. I love what they're channeling. I love what their vision is. And then your mind opens up to what's possible. And then the third part of it truly is that I've seen the most powerful dreams be linked to service and impact. And so I find that a dream is incomplete without service and impact.

• 41:00Jay Shetty?

  The biggest and the best dreamers in the world, the people that shift the trajectory of the world, were not doing it just for themselves. They were doing it for others. And so when your dream expands into having a service element, you get the opportunity to work harder than you've ever dreamed of. You're able to learn things that you never believed you could because we're so phenomenal at extending ourselves beyond what we know for people that we love and people we want to serve. So I'd say that that step process, to me, it's very different from manifestation. I think manifestation, we often think of it as, well, let me see where I want to be.

• 41:42Jay Shetty?

  And I think of manifestation as visualize what it's going to take to get there. So if someone wants to be something, don't visualize what it looks like to be on that stage or be on the front cover of that magazine or whatever it may be. Visualize the hidden journey, which is the behind the scenes of waking up at 4:00 a.m., of doing the work, of learning the skill, of practicing the art. Use your manifestation to visualize yourself breaking your physical and mental limits, not in visualizing the destination.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  And then? If that's kind of at the base, how do you or when do you decide, no, now it's time for me to jump? It's time for me to take the risk? It's time for me to leave this relationship? It's how do you know when you're there?

• 42:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I often think that with careers at least, we'll talk about relationships, but with careers at least, there is a need to build two lanes at the same time. And so I rarely recommend to anyone in my practice or my life to make a leap or a jump because I feel that not only is the risk high, the failure rate is high and the fall is really painful and to recover from that can take a lot of energy and effort. And so the pain and stress of managing a day job and doing something in the evenings at the same time sounds stressful, but it's a healthier route to make that transition. And the day you make the switch, at least in careers to start off with,

• 43:23Jay Shetty?

  is the day that you feel you've created enough momentum in this new space where it can now push you and carry you forward. If you make that switch too early, you can actually do a disservice to yourself where now you feel like you're still playing catch up. And so I often ask people, build something that's at least half of where you're at right now financially so that you can make that leap over. And I've had plenty of clients who've done that, who I've been working with a client for the last five years and within two and a half years was when he decided to quit his job in law to move over to the work he's in now. And he's already within two and a half years, he'd made 50% of what he made as a lawyer and then the next two and a half years,

• 44:06Jay Shetty?

  this year he has the opportunity to replace that completely. So I always feel that the financial part is the hardest part. And so I feel like if you've replaced 50%, that's a healthy time. With relationships, the time to leave is really when you feel you're no longer growing. You know, when you feel that you're not growing, when you feel like you're not becoming the best version of yourself, when you feel like you're not... Moving in the direction you want to be moving in, not because the other person's helping you move or not, you just feel that you're carrying so much negative or toxic energy that you feel stuck. That's when you need to shift and make a move. And so, that's a much more emotional transition.

• 44:49Jay Shetty?

  It's a much more difficult and painful transition. And so, it should not be, again, done in a rush. I don't believe in fast, big, jump decisions. I don't think that that's what works best. Usually, as humans, we do better with incremental, small changes than we do with these big, huge decisions. And anyone who you notice has made a big decision in their life, I promise you, they sat there and thought about it for 365 days. Right? You make a decision in a day. That's what it looks like. But really, that decision was made over 365 days. And so, allow yourself that grace and space to slowly develop your reasoning for that big decision over time

• 45:34Jay Shetty?

  and then make that decision. Don't feel rushed or forced to make it faster.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, develop the relationship with yourself as your...

• 45:43Jay Shetty?

  I mean, that's the heart of it. I promise you, the relationship you have with yourself will always be the best relationship you could ever have in the world.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 45:51Jay Shetty?

  Like, I really mean that. It is such a joy to be present with yourself and to fall more in love with yourself. And the truth is that no one will ever love you the way you want to be loved, apart from yourself, because no one else can know you that intimately. And even if you try and articulate to someone who you are and what you're like and what you love and what you need, they're coming with so much of their own background and baggage and their own challenges and pain and likes and dislikes that it's really hard to translate that. So, I'm not saying it's not possible to have meaningful relationships.

• 46:34Jay Shetty?

  It's just harder to expect that from anyone else. And actually, that gives you more grace for them too. It helps you receive more of them and you see it as an addition and extension to the love you have for yourself. So, so glad you added that.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  Jay, thank you so much. It's always such a pleasure.

• 47:02Speaker 04

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• 47:32Speaker 05

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• 48:01Speaker 06

  Mr. President, my company told me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd.

• 48:06Jay Shetty?

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 48:11Speaker 07

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 48:18Speaker 06

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled, you're freezing there, that's what.

• 48:22Speaker 07

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• 48:25Speaker 06

  I'm not the first then.

• 48:27Speaker 07

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