Jennifer Lopez ON: Defining Your True Purpose and How to Create a Career That is True to Who You Are

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. You know and love this podcast. Jay’s exclusive Genius workshops and meditations take your well-being to the next level. Try them today at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius Welcome to the first episode of Coach Conversations, a monthly YouTube and Podcast series where we get to talk about the things that truly impact our minds, hearts and lives. This month’s topic: finding your purpose, leading with gratitude and as the new Coach campaign, Coach It Forward, encourages —telling the people in your life how they have moved your world forward. Today, Jay Shetty speaks with Jennifer Lopez about how she defined her true purpose to create her legendary career -- and how you can do the same! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:43Jay Shetty?

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• 1:29Jay Shetty?

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• 2:14Jay Shetty?

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• 2:45Jay Shetty?

  Hello everyone and welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Now today is an extremely special episode. It's huge. Today's guest is none other than the incredibly talented, immeasurably kind Renaissance woman herself, Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez has managed to not only be a cultural touchstone for more than 25 years, but has reached invaluable success while staying so authentic to who she is. J Lo just launched her skincare line, J Lo Beauty, in January, and she performed at the inauguration for President Biden. So, as expected, it's already been a busy year for her.

• 3:30Jay Shetty?

  I recently had the opportunity to speak with Jennifer as part of Coach's new YouTube series, Coach Conversations, and now I'm so excited to share our talk with you all in full.

• 3:46Jay Shetty?

  I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so, so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eightrulesoflove.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour, Love Rules. Go to jayshettytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more.

• 4:30Jay Shetty?

  I can't wait to see you this year.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  I'm ready, let's go.

• 4:34Jay Shetty?

  I'm fascinated to know how you define your calling and purpose today and why you think it's important to define it.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Wow, that's, you know, I went like that when you asked the question because it's such, it's still such a big question for me, even though I kind of know what I do for a living and what my life is and the things that drive me. For me, today in January 2021, I think my calling is to empower, inspire, and entertain. Those are the things that I do and in entertaining, I kind of hope I'm always empowering and inspiring people to be the best at whatever they want to do. You know, I went and before Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, I got the privilege to meet her in her chambers while I was on tour. And I said to her, I said, what can I do to help? Like, it seems like the world is so crazy right now.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  And she said, exactly what you're doing. Every person just has to do what they do best and be the best that they can be. And in that, they will help the world.

• 5:39Jay Shetty?

  What a perfect answer. Thank you so much for sharing that, by the way.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  Since we're talking about purpose this month, and that's the topic, tell me a bit more about you. What exactly does a purpose coach do?

• 5:50Jay Shetty?

  That is a great question that my wife and my mom still ask me every single day. A purpose coach helps people figure out how they can have the deepest and biggest impact on people's lives using their gifts. And I believe there's someone out there right now, Jennifer, who's going to cure a disease and they don't even know it yet. There's someone out there who's going to inspire millions of people and they don't even know it yet. And if I can play even a tiny role in helping them get closer to that, then that's what I'm trying to dedicate my life to.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's amazing. I love that. That's like a perfect answer. But you weren't always a purpose coach. You had kind of a second act. You know, I did a movie called Second Act. So I'm always about, we wrote that movie with this whole idea in mind of like, you can do many things. So how did you get to where you are today?

• 6:37Jay Shetty?

  I thought I was gonna be in business because it was the safe option. And then I completely went on to the other side and rebelled against it and went and lived as a monk. And then I came back to the real world three years on, where I found more stability back in the world of management and business. And then I found that that wasn't my true calling. What drew me to the purpose work is that I saw a lot of pain in humanity. And the source of that pain was a lack of education. People were just never given the tools. So if you think about it, we have a class for biology, but we don't have a class for the heart or emotions. We have a class for math, but we don't have a class for the mind.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, they have a whole school for that. I always say, why don't they teach kids from very young to love themselves? I'm with you on that. You should start that school. Or a course, or something. I remember when I was like going through therapy at the beginning, kind of like in my late 30s. There was a lot of talk about loving yourself. And I was like, I love myself. But obviously, I was doing all these things in like my personal relationships. It didn't seem like I was loving myself, but so I didn't even understand the concept of it. And it took time and it's a journey and it's still a journey for me.

• 7:53Jay Shetty?

  How do you feel that, you know, people are struggling, obviously, as you know, as we're aware. How do you feel like finding your calling and purpose happens at difficult times and at tough times? Is that the right time to open your mind and heart up to that? Is there ever a right time?

• 8:10Speaker 01

  You know, this is such a tough moment. It's a very tough moment and the whole year has been tough. But many of us, if we're lucky, one of the blessings of 2020 was that we had a moment of pause. There was a moment where we could just stop for a second and we could look inward. Even if it was just taking a few moments every day to take stock in those things and to prioritize what was really important in our lives, our family, our kids. You know, and not only see what you want, but more importantly, who you want to be when it all comes back around.

• 8:45Jay Shetty?

  It's a great insight, great advice.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  Let's talk more about the words calling and purpose, all right? Because that's what this month is about. How would you define them? It's not the same thing as career, for example.

• 8:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think there's a difference between a calling and a career because a career feels like something you're always pushing. Like you're like pushing it, trying to make it work. And a calling feels like something that's pulling you closer to it. Like it feels like you're being pulled towards it. And so, but I have to say that I do feel careers can evolve into callings. And so I often find that when people just start on their career and rather than feeling like, oh my gosh, my calling's so far away or my purpose is so far away, let me just learn what I can from this because it's going to be useful later. There's going to be some part of it that's actually powerful for my future. And so I think that's how they connect and overlap.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I think when you, when you take on any job or anything that you have to do, even if it's like, well, this doesn't feel right. If you put your heart and soul into it and you do the best you can do, you're gonna get something out of it. It's gonna lead. To something else. And when you're trying to be, like I said, you have to try to be the greatest of all time. Like, you have to aim for that. And that's what I am. And when you're aiming for that, all of a sudden, as an actor, you're like, when you're aiming to be the best actor you can, you realize that you have to learn what it is to direct. You have to learn what it is to produce. You have to understand what it is to be the set designer, to be, because all of it works together. And you wind up, you know, growing and growing and evolving and evolving just because you're open to being the greatest in the job that you have right there.

• 10:22Jay Shetty?

  It seems like even in your new single, "In the Morning," you speak to metamorphosis. And it seems like what I'm hearing from you today is that everything's highly intentional. You're picking things because they seem deeply purposeful. Have you always been like that? Has that always been the way you've approached everything in life, where it feels deeply intentional?

• 10:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think because, you know, I started as a dancer.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  And I wasn't always the best dancer. I was a great dancer, but I wasn't the best dancer, you know, and everybody's so competitive in these fields, right? But I knew that every, from the beginning, because of that, I put something extra into it. I put my heart into it. I put my soul into it. Into each move, there was a purpose behind it. Like, everything had to speak something. And I learned that early on when I was, when I was dancing, from when I was very young, that I had to, for it to affect people, since I couldn't kick my leg the highest, because I couldn't jump and make the split the highest, that I had to have something else that was connecting, because that, at the end of the day, doesn't really matter. What I realized what matters was actually, you know, connecting in a way

• 11:35Speaker 01

  and putting a passion into each move and making everything mean something. Everything I do, I want it to have a purpose to it. I really want to remind people to own.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Their power always, you know, morning TV. It's not, it's not just when you're in the spotlight. It's like being your best self at every moment, you know, even when the cameras are not on.

• 11:57Jay Shetty?

  I think, I love hearing you say that you weren't, you didn't think that you were the best dancer, because I think there's a lot of people just hearing that and going, oh, you know, like just taking the pressure off of like thinking that you have to have thought you were the best from that point on.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  I think you have to strive to be the best. I think that's an important key. But you don't have to be the best to, to have success, to have, you, you just have to not give up. You have to keep going. You have to always just know that you have something special to offer. But you have to strive. I think striving to be the best is, is part of the secret.

• 12:37Jay Shetty?

  When I've watched you, whether I've been watching your interviews or your performances, I always feel like it's more than entertainment. It's, it's more about empowerment. Tell me about what's going on in your mind and what you want people to experience when you ask them to dream on.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  My mantra for this year, one of them, because I always have many, I always have many, is to dream on. I really believe 2021 can bring change and healing. And my dream is that, you know, together this year, we can make a more unified, more loving, more accepting, more understanding world. I always want to inspire, inspire different things in people. And whether it's to make them laugh or cry, affect them in some way. And in these times where all of us can feel lost, I, I wanted to give people some hope and some direction.

• 13:28Jay Shetty?

  And I'm interested to hear about how you go there in your creative process, because to be able to do that, it means you're having to go through things yourself. You're having to feel things.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, the creative process for me, especially in building a show or a performance, is really a many-layered process for me. I don't think anything has an impact if you're not 100% in it and behind it. So when I'm creating something, I do it because I love it. And I love the moment-to-moment connection that I get with the audience, whether it's a song, or a movie, or a live performance. I want it to be successful, of course, and I want to do my best. But I believe that things that resonate with me will resonate with other people. And when you make choices that way, yeah, there's always some risks involved. Some people are gonna love it, some people are gonna hate it, whatever. But I don't let that worry kind of overcome me.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  You know, is this the right choice, or should I be more cautious? Because I want to feel passionate about the things I create. And I think that that shows in my work.

• 14:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, one of the things that really resonated with me was when, on the last day of 2020, you used the launch of your J Lo beauty brand to tell people to literally wash away 2020, like ceremoniously, right?

• 14:47Speaker 01

  It was. I feel like everybody needed to do that. Go ahead, I'm sorry.

• 14:51Jay Shetty?

  I agree with you. Everyone needed to do that. What do you think you were washing away in 2020? Or what were you letting go of in 2020?

• 14:59Speaker 01

  With the launch, because it was on January 1st, and because it was a symbolic kind of new beginning of a new year, that the idea of washing away the year before, which was 2020, which was a year we all wanted to wash away, it was a chance to kind of wash away some of the pain, some of the uncertainty, some of the fear that we've all been experiencing this year. It was a chance to just wash away the energy of that year and really start fresh and know that that's possible. But we, as a collective, have experienced a lot of trauma over the past year, physical, emotional, psychological.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Is there such a thing, do you think, as universal healing? How do we move forward with purpose as... You know, because we're all emotional works in progress.

• 15:53Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 15:55Jay Shetty?

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• 16:38Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

• 16:47Speaker 02

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• 17:16Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favorite podcast. Choose a seller or Northeast Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip. I'm so glad you asked me that question. There's a, there's a beautiful thing I read from a writer called Russell Barkley. And in it, he says that people who need the most love often ask for it in the most unloving ways.

• 18:02Jay Shetty?

  And I thought about that, I think about that a lot, about how every cry for attention is a cry for love. Every cry for validation is a cry for love. Every act of pain or hurt to someone, in one way or another, is a deep cry for love.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Right, but also, like, it's just not a cry. Sometimes it's like that person who's really angry. The person who's like really angry, you're like, you just need a hug. Like, let me give you a hug right now. Like, you could just tell.

• 18:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's what I mean.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is exactly that. No, I know exactly what you mean.

• 18:34Jay Shetty?

  I find that a lot of people right now feel this pressure to find their purpose. When someone's feeling pressure, like if someone's sitting there and they're going, "Oh, gosh, I just don't know what my purpose is. I feel so far away from it." How do you deal with that pressure of redefining your purpose and evolving?

• 18:50Speaker 01

  People are always like, "Oh, she reinvents herself." Like, there's a reinvention. I don't like that word. I'm not reinventing or trying to be something different or trying to trick people into like something new. It's an evolving, right? So when you're talking about a calling or a purpose, there's a lot of pressure around it, right? The most important thing is that you have to listen to yourself and the words that you tell yourself. Because what you say and what you think, and I tell this to my kids all the time, becomes your reality. If you're telling yourself, you know, "I'm gonna be this or I'm gonna be that," or you're telling yourself, "I'm a [bleep] loser," then you'll be a [bleep] loser, whatever it is. You tell yourself that and it will manifest. I really believe that we create our lives, again, not just with our actions and the things we do,

• 19:34Speaker 01

  but the things we think and the self-talk that we give. Being in this business where people are always trying to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, you really have to have a strong sense of self and gut and instinct and follow that.

• 19:46Jay Shetty?

  We talked about listening to the inner voice, but we also have to listen to voices around us, surrounding ourselves with the right mentors. Tell us about what Coach It Forward means to you.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  I mean, it's about really telling people in your life, taking the time to let the people in your life know. That they've impacted your life. That, to me, is such a beautiful idea and why I love being associated and working with them. Because they're always thinking about kind of more, just not, you know, the, the brand itself, but what the brand stands for and its social good. And, uh, and I love that. And I love this idea of Coach It Forward. I mean, we all know what Pay It Forward means. It's like you have a blessing and you somehow pay it forward selflessly to somebody else. And I love that idea. But I also love the idea of Coach It Forward, which is just, you know, as simple as picking up the phone and calling somebody and said, and saying, "You make my everyday better."

• 20:41Speaker 01

  Like, I would say who I talk to every day, maybe multiple times a day, is my producing partner and one of my very best friends, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas. And she just pumps me up every day. She just, you know, she goes, "I feel like I have to remind you all the time because you're so hard on yourself and you're such a perfectionist. I, I want to remind you that you're doing great. It's good," you know, because I'm always like, "Oh, gotta do this. I didn't do that." But, but, but, "You're, you're a good mom. You're a good, you know, person." You know, like, and it's important to have people like that in your life. And so, I'm saying to Elaine right now, "I love you and I love what you bring to my life and, um, everything about you and how you make me feel is priceless to me in my life."

• 21:24Jay Shetty?

  I love that. That's, that's beautiful to hear. And I'm so glad that, that gratitude was personalized and specific. Like, that's when it works. Like, studies show that when you're actually specific about gratitude and it's so personal, and I could see when you were talking about them, it was just pouring out from your heart. Like, that's when gratitude is beautifully received and given. Like, you feel as, as much joy giving gratitude as the person feels receiving it. But Jennifer, thank you so much for your time today and to join me in this first ever episode of Coach Conversations. I feel like we were able to dive so deeply into purpose and calling. But I want to end with a quick-fire round of fill in the blanks. I'm gonna ask you a question, then you're gonna ask me a question.

• 22:08Jay Shetty?

  My favorite affirmation is?

• 22:11Speaker 01

  "I am open and receptive to all the goodness and abundance that the universe has to offer."

• 22:15Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I love that one. That's beautiful.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Yours, "My biggest cheerleader is?"

• 22:19Jay Shetty?

  My mom, my, my sister, my wife, probably. I'd have to go with family. So yours, "My favorite dance move is?"

• 22:26Speaker 01

  I don't have a favorite dance move. I think the thing that I'm probably known for is maybe the booty shake.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Okay, um, yours. The first thing I do in the morning is?

• 22:36Jay Shetty?

  Uh, avoid looking at my phone.

• 22:39Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

• 22:40Jay Shetty?

  Okay, this is for you. I laugh most when?

• 22:44Speaker 01

  When I'm with my mother. Yeah, she makes, she literally makes me laugh out loud. Okay, um, for you? My favorite J-Lo song is?

• 22:53Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that's a tough one. I'd have to say that what I've played the most is "I'm Gonna Be Alright." I think that has to be my, that has to be my favorite song.

• 23:03Speaker 01

  I wrote that song. Oh, my God. Yeah, I love that song, too.

• 23:06Jay Shetty?

  I think the messaging, the meaning behind it, still to this day, I could put it on any time, in the car, at the gym, when I'm walking around, and that song is like, it gets me in the zone, so.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  Thank you, thank you. I love that. That is so, you're a real, you really did know a song.

• 23:23Jay Shetty?

  Last question. My calling in one word is?

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Oh, it's too hard, one word.

• 23:30Jay Shetty?

  Okay, one sentence, one sentence.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  One sentence, okay. My calling in one sentence is, like I said, it's to empower, inspire, entertain, and put out into the world a message of love.

• 23:42Jay Shetty?

  Thank you to everyone who's been watching this. And I'm so honestly deeply grateful for this time we got to spend together. And I'm excited to see if we can start a school together to help people find those emotional skills and emotional abilities. But everyone who's been watching today, make sure you subscribe. Make sure you share this conversation. And make sure you share the insights and the inspiration from Jennifer that really resonated and stuck with you. Because when you pass it on, when you pay it forward, when you coach it forward, it allows you to build meaningful relationships with everyone in your life. Thank you so much for watching. And a big thank you to Jennifer for being here with us.

• 24:19Jay Shetty?

  Thank you all so much for listening to the episode of On Purpose. I hope you enjoyed this conversation with Jennifer Lopez about courage, authenticity, and staying in your purpose. Please tag Jennifer and myself on Instagram and let us all know what you learned on this episode. See you all on Friday. Thanks for listening.

• 24:49Jay Shetty?

  This podcast was produced by Dust Light Productions. Our executive producer from Dust Light is Misha Youssef. Our senior producer is Juliana Bradley. Our associate producer is Jacqueline Castillo. Valentino Rivera is our engineer. Our music is from Blue Dot Sessions. And special thanks to Rachel Garcia, the Dust Light Development and Operations Coordinator.

• 25:19Speaker 03

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• 25:35Speaker 04

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• 25:40Speaker 03

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• 25:43Speaker 04

  I'm not the earth then.

• 25:44Speaker 03

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.