The 1 Habit All Highly Effective People Live By & How To Implement It In Your Life

There’s a simple thing Jay Shetty believes holds the secret to flourishing in these challenging days - curiosity. If there is anything that can keep us healthy and afloat, it is curiosity. In this episode of On Purpose, Jay shares five reasons to cultivate curiosity Feeling unmotivated or not inspired? Curiosity is the golden ticket to creativity and success. Watch the full episode for tips on how to build curiosity and use it to its maximum potential. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 A Word From Our Sponsors: Jump over to https://athleticgreens.com/purpose and claim my special offer today - 20 FREE travel packs valued at $79 with your first purchase Start your Free Trial at https://www. TheGreatCoursesPLUS.com/JAY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have.

• 0:43Jay Shetty?

  Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop.

• 1:26Jay Shetty?

  AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements, and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:01Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised to yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 2:45Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. Detachment is about stepping back from a situation so you can examine it from another perspective. You might think of it as a way of shifting your perception. When we detach from something, we allow other things to be possible. We invite in curiosity, questioning how else we might view a situation.

• 3:33Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. It is great to be back with you and I am buzzing because I keep seeing so many awesome reviews, so many five-star reviews. We now have over 13,000 five-star reviews, which is incredible. If you haven't yet left a review, please do it. It makes a huge difference to podcasters, especially if this is a podcast you love. From Carmel999, it says, "Turned my life around. I was introduced to this podcast in December of 2019 and it has taught me so much about intentionality, mindfulness, and kept me hopeful and resilient even during some of the most challenging moments." Thank you so much. There's a few short ones which I love. Where has Jay been? I needed him in my life. I really appreciate that. I need you in my life too.

• 4:18Jay Shetty?

  There's another one from Trent Brooks that says, Jay is amazing. I can't wait for your book. Thank you. I'm glad you're excited as well. So listen to this one. This one is from Saga. I've been trying to find something on Apple Podcasts for positivity while we all try to adjust with pandemic. I finally found it and within five minutes I knew I have to listen to all of them. Thank you, Jay, and already pre-ordered not one but two Think Like a Monk books, one for me and another one for my lady. Thank you. Well, thank you so much for leaving those reviews. I love reading them out. I really, really appreciate them. And I want to thank you so much for taking the time to do that. If you haven't subscribed, please do. And if you haven't left a review, please, please do. Now, today's episode is all about one habit that will change your life and how to cultivate it. Now be honest with yourself. How many of you are stressed about the future?

• 5:03Jay Shetty?

  Wondering how to navigate the next few months or even days or hours? Are you worried about your health or anxious about finances or your children's wellbeing and education? These days, a lot of us are struggling. The company Express Scripts administers prescription benefits for millions of Americans. As reported in Newsweek, a recently generated report by the company that sampled more than 21 million people showed that over the last five years, use of prescriptions for anxiety had dropped 12% and medications for insomnia had fallen 11%. However, between February and the middle of March of this year, use of medications for anxiety increased a staggering 34%.

• 5:48Jay Shetty?

  The Washington Post reports that nearly half of Americans say that the pandemic is harming their mental health, according to a poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation. A government hotline for people in emotional distress reported a 1,000% increase in traffic in April compared with the same time last year. And it's not just in the States. Recently, UN health experts warned of a global mental health crisis around the world. We're faced with fear and anxiety about our futures and our present. And even if you're not feeling as much of it directly, people in your household or your extended family or your friend circle are likely to experience it. At a time when our quality of life can feel affected so drastically in such a negative way, how can we start to think about moving forward?

• 6:33Jay Shetty?

  What can we do to improve our lives and try to ensure that whatever the future brings, we can meet it with openness and excitement instead of fear and restriction? Today, I'm going to tell you about one thing, just one habit, one practice, one approach to life that will help you navigate your present and your future more successfully, with greater happiness and fulfillment, and will help you locate and capitalize on new opportunities. And what it is will probably surprise you. Now, I don't want to imply that it will suddenly make everything easy. This is an unquestionably trying time, and in many ways, we're navigating an entirely new landscape. But this one habit will help you improve your outlook and help you devise creative strategies for moving forward. Are you ready to hear it?

• 7:18Jay Shetty?

  This one habit that will change nearly every aspect of your life is curiosity. Today, I'm going to talk about the five reasons to cultivate curiosity and the four ways you can become more curious. Curiosity is praised among some of our greatest thinkers and our most accomplished artists and business people. Einstein once said, "I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious." Business guru Robin Sharma, who we also had on the podcast, a phenomenal episode, great guy, he said, "The best in business have boundless curiosity and open minds." And New York Times multiple bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert said, "If you can let go

• 8:02Jay Shetty?

  of passion and follow your curiosity, your curiosity just might lead you to your passion." That's pretty powerful stuff. But why is curiosity so powerful? Todd Kashdan, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at George Mason University, has been studying curiosity for years. He calls curiosity "the central ingredient to creating a fulfilling life." As Kashdan writes in his book, not surprisingly titled, "Curiosity," "Although you might believe that certainty and control over your circumstances brings you pleasure, it is often uncertainty and challenge that actually bring you the most profound and longest-lasting

• 8:47Jay Shetty?

  benefits." Think about that for a moment. It sounds counterintuitive, right? We spend so much of our lives seeking certainty and security. Yet Cashden's research, along with research by others, shows that it's actually uncertainty and facing challenges that in the long run bring us more and longer lasting benefits in our lives. Cashden says that curiosity is a key component of success and happiness, that rather than migrating to what is known, it's seeking out the new and learning that helps us feel more fulfilled and helps us solve our problems. There's a great quote by André Gide, I believe is how you say his name, who is a French author and winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature

• 9:32Jay Shetty?

  that you might have heard. It's, "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." That's probably where a lot of us, maybe most of us, feel like we are right now. We're kind of adrift and the shore seems nowhere in sight. And that's a lot of what's making us feel so anxious and depressed. Well, Cashden says that only one of the keys to feeling more comfortable and possibly even excited about losing sight of the shore is cultivating curiosity. So here are the five reasons to cultivate curiosity. Get your pens out, get your mental notes ready, and then I'll talk about the four ways to cultivate curiosity. So reason one, to cultivate curiosity. Curiosity drives us to find better, more satisfying

• 10:16Jay Shetty?

  or more effective ways to do things. You might have heard this phrase before, that the more we learn, the more we realize there is to learn. As Cashden explains, when we learn to embrace what we don't know, our perspective shifts and we can see gaps and other things that weren't obvious to us before. He uses the analogy of someone learning to become a rock climber. At first, your goal is primarily not to fall, a pretty good goal, right? You rely on your intuition and clinging to the side of the mountain because your mind is telling you, "Don't fall." But as you get better, as you get more practical and gain more experience, you start to see where doing some things that are counterintuitive would actually help you climb better. One of those things is that if you push your body away from the mountain,

• 11:00Jay Shetty?

  you can actually get more surface area of your toes and feet onto the mountain. So while creating more space between you and the rock seems like exactly what you should not do, it's actually more likely to keep you from falling. And what makes good climbers even better is keeping an open mind. They may get up the mountain successfully one way, yet they're curious as to whether there are more and even better ways to climb it. As climbers combine experience with curiosity, more possibilities become available to them. They see hand and foot holds they didn't see before. When they see more opportunities, they can be more creative about how they climb. And through this expanded knowledge and ability to be creative comes more fun and enjoyment.

• 11:45Jay Shetty?

  This idea of a climber actually moving away from the wall to get a better hold on it reminded me of the idea of detachment. As a monk, I learned about the importance of detachment and its role in how we experience the world. Detachment is about stepping back from a situation so you can examine it from another perspective. You might think of it as a way of shifting your perception. When we detach from something, we allow other things to be possible. We invite in curiosity, questioning how else we might view a situation. Deepak Chopra writes, "In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty. In the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning.

• 12:29Jay Shetty?

  And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe." Curiosity not only drives us to find new and better ways to do things, it helps us do it. When we detach from a situation, when we release our judgment about it, we are open to new perspectives and new experiences. As Deepak Chopra wrote, "It frees us from our past conditioning." Part of that conditioning is bias. We can also think about curiosity as a mindset that can counteract confirmation bias. You may have heard this term before. Confirmation bias is our tendency to seek out or focus on information

• 13:13Jay Shetty?

  that confirms something we already believe. For example, what if you text your friend to see how she's doing and she doesn't respond right away? If you view your friend as a workaholic, you might assume she's too busy for me. Or if you struggle with self-esteem, or if your relationship with this friend doesn't feel secure, you might think, why is she ghosting me? Was it something I said? In each of these cases, you're acting on preset bias or belief you have about your friend. You're assuming either that she's overly busy or she's upset with you. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been

• 13:56Jay Shetty?

  holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision-making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions.

• 14:39Jay Shetty?

  Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state, coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are, but it can be challenging to balance style, budget and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf.

• 15:22Jay Shetty?

  Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation, and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 16:02Jay Shetty?

  Reason number two to cultivate curiosity is that curiosity breaks through bias. What if, in response to not hearing back from your friend, rather than assume you know why, you instead get curious? I wonder what she's up to? Build your curiosity muscle by coming up with alternate possibilities. Maybe she lost her phone or left it at home. Maybe the battery's dead. Maybe she's taking a digital break and has her phone off. Maybe she's in a place with no signal. You can even get creative or funny. Maybe her toddler is playing with her phone and accidentally switched the setting to French and she can't figure out how to turn it back. I have a friend who, actually, that happened to, so it might be true. That's another way detachment serves curiosity. Once we detach emotionally from a situation, we can glimpse the truly limitless possibilities that are present.

• 16:46Jay Shetty?

  In a universe filled with potential answers, it almost seems ridiculous to assume that you know why your friend hasn't texted you back yet. What if you were really getting upset about it and it was really no big deal? Maintaining an attitude of curiosity can help you avoid useless quarrels. If we can train ourselves to hold our curiosity longer, we can avoid unnecessary emotional stress and probably avoid some fights as well. Maintaining an attitude of curiosity can help you avoid useless quarrels. Like, if we can train ourselves to hold curiosity longer, we can avoid unnecessarily emotional stress and probably avoid some fights as well. Curiosity combats confirmation bias, the assumption that we know what's up.

• 17:31Jay Shetty?

  It stops us from clinging to our beliefs and using those to interpret. The world us around us rather than being open to other possibilities. And it's not just with our friends and family. It's in broader circumstances as well. Curiosity may actually make us better informed than those who technically know more than us about the issue. Listen to this, I know that probably sounds confusing, but this research helps explain it. A research team at Yale wanted to see who was more open minded about information that contradicted their beliefs about different issues in science, such as climate change. Would be people who were more informed about science or those who were less informed, but who were rated as being scientifically curious.

• 18:15Jay Shetty?

  What they found was that when confronted with articles and information that contradicted their particular views, both more liberal and more conservative thinkers who were knowledgeable about science were less likely to change their views or even considering changing them. Instead, they dug in their heels. But for the group that was scientifically curious, when they were given an assortment of articles to read about climate change, those who were scientifically curious were more likely to select articles that actually ran counter to their beliefs. They were more willing to read opposing views and information. And as a result, even though most of the scientifically curious group still didn't change their minds overall, there was less animosity and polarization between the liberal and conservative thinkers.

• 18:58Jay Shetty?

  Studies have also showed that when we are not curious and instead are more rigid in our approach to life, we tend to make more assumptions about groups of people, relying on stereotypes about people of different cultures, races, genders, and so on to inform our beliefs. When we're curious though, we're more likely to do the work of learning about who a person is as an individual rather than basing our assumptions on group stereotypes. So that's reason number two to cultivate curiosity. It decreases bias and helps us be more open minded. Reason number three to cultivate curiosity is that it helps us be more successful and innovative. Carol Dweck, who is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and author of the book Mindset,

• 19:42Jay Shetty?

  in a TED Talk described a high school where if a student was not successful in passing a class, they needed to graduate, they didn't receive a failing grade such as an F or an E, they received the grade "not yet." I know that sounds strange, right? If I had come with the grade "not yet," my parents would have been questioning what kind of school I was enrolled in. Yeah, here's the rationale. When we perceive that we have failed at a task, for most of us, our brains kick us into survival circuitry. And when we are in that survival circuitry, part of which is a structure called the amygdala, our fear and anxiety ramp up, and that essentially kicks us out of the creative centers of our brains. So when we're scared and anxious, we lose access to our creative thinking.

• 20:27Jay Shetty?

  It can also cause our other, you know, stress issues, including making it harder for us to remember things. It's why we struggle in interviews or dates, and all of a sudden we lose our charisma or we lose our energy. Have you ever been put on the spot to answer a question that normally you know so well you could answer in your sleep? But you were so startled or rattled or frightened that for the life of you, you couldn't recall it. For lots of us, when we're unsuccessful at something or we don't know an answer, fear and panic kick in. And that makes us less likely to be able to actually find the answer or the solution. However, as Dweck points out in her talk, the words "not yet" help to diffuse the fear, response, and keep us in our creative exploratory brains. So we're more likely to be able to learn, remember, and discover.

• 21:12Jay Shetty?

  As Todd Kashdan points out, studies show that people with high intelligence don't necessarily perform the best in school or in their careers. In fact, curiosity is a stronger predictor of grades and achievement, both in school and life. Now, if you're in a position where you have no idea what you're going to do to manage the next few months or days, instead of telling yourself, "I don't know," right? Instead of saying, you know, "I don't know," say, "I don't know yet." Just that little bit of a switch in language can keep your brain open to recognizing new opportunities. Curiosity helps us be more successful in large part because it keeps us more creative and open to try new things. And when that creativity is tied to actual learning and experience, like with our rock

• 21:56Jay Shetty?

  climber, it opens the door to success because curiosity combined with experience equals innovation. Lots of us know the story that the hit show Seinfeld was almost passed over by television executives. It bombed with test audiences, who were confused and put off by the new style of show. As Adam Grant describes in his book Originals, "Test audiences didn't know what to do with a show about nothing," as it was described by writers Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. Plus, they found the characters to be unlikable. NBC executives didn't know what to do with it either. They were uncomfortable with the format and content. Yet one NBC executive, Rick Ludwin, took a gamble and funded the show, and it went on to become an international success.

• 22:40Jay Shetty?

  That's the part of the story we know, right? But there's more to it. When Rick Ludwin started funding to bankroll the first few episodes of Seinfeld, he didn't really know what he was doing. He'd never worked with a sitcom before, and writers Jerry and Larry had never written a sitcom before. And in fact, it was this combined lack of experience that made Seinfeld a hit. As Steve Jobs said back in 1982, "If you're gonna make connections which are innovative, you have to not have the same bag of experiences as everyone else does." All of the people at NBC and the test viewers had experience with sitcoms, as they'd always been done in the past. But for the writers and for Rick Ludwin, they were all in new territory. Yet, while they didn't know how to create a traditional sitcom,

• 23:25Jay Shetty?

  one thing they did know was comedy. Instead of focusing on what makes a sitcom work, Ludwig panned back and focused on what makes comedy work. Ludwig said, "One of the best things that I had going for me was that I'd never developed a primetime situation comedy, but I was accustomed to offbeat, off-kilter ideas. I could see what worked and what didn't work." And he saw a lot about Seinfeld that worked. Reason four to cultivate curiosity is that curiosity is a cornerstone of mindfulness. There's been a lot in popular media these days about the extensive benefits of mindfulness, from better focus and performance to more happiness. One of the key aspects of practicing mindfulness is observing what is without judgment.

• 24:08Jay Shetty?

  It's about allowing ourselves to be curious observers of life as it is unfolding. When we're mindful, when we're curious, the most everyday things take on an aspect of newness and novelty. And by and large, our brains love novelty. When we experience new things, our brains release dopamine, which feels good and compels us to seek out even more novelty. And that actually brings me to reason number five to cultivate curiosity. It enhances our relationships. When we experience new things together, we get to share that dopamine hit and we also learn new things about each other as well. So, those are the five reasons to cultivate curiosity. But how do we become more curious? How do we do it?

• 24:53Jay Shetty?

  There are many ways, and I already gave you a few examples, but here are four simple ways to do it. Number one, cultivate hobbies, especially ones that are well outside your everyday activities. As Adam Grant describes in Originals, "One study showed that scientists who cultivated artistic hobbies, such as playing an instrument, painting, woodworking, writing, or acting, were up to 22 more times likely to win a Nobel Prize compared to scientists who did not cultivate such interests." Right? So cultivate new hobbies. Number two, be willing to be wrong. Studies show that people who are curious, instead of being upset by the idea of being wrong, are actually delighted about it because they realize they are learning something new and their understanding of the world is expanding.

• 25:37Jay Shetty?

  So recognize the opportunity in being wrong and it helps to not criticize others when they're wrong. One way to recognize the opportunity in being wrong is to underscore for yourself how what you've just learned is going to help you. And it can be about the simplest things. Like say to yourself, I was wrong in thinking that this was the fastest driving route to our favorite vacation spot. But now that I do know the fastest route, we can get there more quickly. Or now we'll have time to make a side trip. Focus on the benefits of being wrong. Number three, practice your listening skills. Ask questions, then truly listen for the answers. Remember that study where people who are more perceived to be more engaged listeners were rated as being warmer and more attractive? As an interviewer, I try and follow that advice.

• 26:22Jay Shetty?

  My interviews would be so boring if I just ran down a list of pre-written questions, one to the next, right? Obviously, I prepare for interviews by researching and writing down questions, but I also listen closely to my guests' answers. And that allows the conversation to go in all kinds of surprising places, and we all learn and grow more as a result. So ask people questions and practice to really listen to the answers. And number four, the final way I'm going to offer you today to become more curious, presence. This goes with mindfulness. Open your mind to what is present right now and allow yourself to notice new things. When I was a monk, day after day, we took the same walk.

• 27:04Jay Shetty?

  And our teachers challenged us to notice something brand new every day. Try that yourself. Go somewhere familiar. If you're locked down right now, your apartment or house is probably especially familiar to you right now, which is perfect. Go into your bedroom and sit on the bed, or sit at a desk in the kitchen, or counter, or look out the window and challenge yourself to notice at least five things you've never noticed before. Make this a regular practice in your life, and you'll be amazed at how much more you notice about the whole world around you, about the possibilities and opportunities you become aware of, and the new things you see in familiar people and familiar places. So those are five reasons to cultivate curiosity and four ways to become more curious.

• 27:49Jay Shetty?

  Share your biggest insights on Twitter, or on Instagram, on Facebook, wherever you are, and tag me at Jay Shetty, and I can't wait to keep making wisdom go viral together. Thanks for listening, everyone.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, theHouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  Mr. President, my company informed me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Tom Cruise is.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled, you're freezing there, that's what.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  I'm not the first then.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a middle without parent.