Ed Mylett ON: How To Pursue Your Passion With Urgency & Avoiding Complacency When Times Are Good

How do you recover from the death of a dream? Today’s guest, Ed Mylett, the standout athlete and pro baseball hopeful discovered a richer and true meaning to life when he turned his focus on children who needed him most. Mylett speaks about being so broke he was living out of his car to now being highly successful and having the platform to inspire millions. Mylett’s relatable style of empowerment will help you tap into your true potential. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 1:30Jay Shetty?

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• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1

• 2:59Jay Shetty?

  Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 3:09Ed Mylett?

  I know my formula, I know my intention. My intention's a service, like for you, I do my show, it's free. I do it because I want to make a difference for other people and not because of reciprocity, as you say so well. There's a reciprocal effect for sure, but I do it because I feel like it's who I'm supposed to be.

• 3:30Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you who come back every week to listen, to learn, and grow. Now, there aren't many times in life where you meet someone that instantly captivates you and that you build up a rapport with very, very quickly, but today is one of those days. Now, I've just had the huge fortune of being interviewed by Ed recently, and I'm getting to sit down with him today to talk to him about his fascinating life. Now, he's a larger-than-life personality, an incredibly successful entrepreneur, but today we're going to dive deeper into his purpose and how he got to where he is. So Ed Mylett is one of the premier business leaders, peak performance experts, and motivational

• 4:15Jay Shetty?

  speakers in the world. He has a passion for mentoring and coaching others on what it takes to become a champion in all areas of life, and I know you love that. His initial dream was to play Major League Baseball, but an injury stopped that dream of a professional athletic career. Ed believes life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you. Today, we will share how this shift in dreams led him to work in a group home that changed his trajectory and what he valued. He later came across an entrepreneurial opportunity in the financial services industry with the World Financial Group. His business grew and thrived into a nationwide team of associates, which has turned out some of the most successful leaders in the industry.

• 4:58Jay Shetty?

  He's a bestselling author, host of the top-rated Max Out Your Life podcast, and today, he'll be helping you transform your identity and become the ultimate version of yourself. Ed, thank you so much for doing this.

• 5:11Ed Mylett?

  Boy, that sounds pretty good, brother.

• 5:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's all true.

• 5:13Ed Mylett?

  Welcome to our home.

• 5:14Jay Shetty?

  It's so good today. It's so beautiful to be in your home. Thank you for inviting me here.

• 5:18Ed Mylett?

  It's my pleasure, brother.

• 5:18Jay Shetty?

  And like I said, like, to me, this is even more meaningful just because of your presence and just our few interactions this, you know, this morning.

• 5:26Ed Mylett?

  I have so enjoyed today with you, brother. I'm so grateful we've met.

• 5:29Jay Shetty?

  It's great, and I'm excited for my audience to learn about more about you.

• 5:33Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 5:33Jay Shetty?

  And also to go deeper with you and understand how all the wisdom that you've gained, whether it's entrepreneurship, purpose, relationships, you know, you're happily married through it all too. Like, I think you have so much to share with my audience.

• 5:45Ed Mylett?

  Thank you, I'd be glad to do it.

• 5:46Jay Shetty?

  So we're gonna dive straight in, and I want to talk about this baseball career, because I feel like every kid has a dream.

• 5:53Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 5:53Jay Shetty?

  My dream was to be a soccer player or a football player, but I don't think I ever got serious enough to ever even really consider it. How serious were you and how snatched did it feel?

• 6:03Ed Mylett?

  Wow, great question. I was very serious. Probably in my mind, I was a little bit better player than I thought I was, but I got a chance, I got drafted to play professionally, and I went to college to play at a top-level program. And kind of a catastrophic injury happened. Now, I always say, things happen for you, not to you. I think probably what it did is it prematurely ended something that might have ended eventually anyway. But it was devastating to me at the time. I really never conceived of doing anything other than play baseball. And then I was hit by a pitch, tumor formed on my leg, they had to take part of my leg with it. It's actually grown back, it's been in my leg now for about thirty years, this new version of the tumor, benign. But it altered the direction of my life. Like many people, my first dream just literally died. And it

• 6:47Ed Mylett?

  knocked me back, and it took me a little while before I recovered from it, for sure.

• 6:52Jay Shetty?

  I mean, now when you're talking about it, it sounds like, you know, you pushed through it, but when you go through that first moment of like your dream collapsing, and you're back at that age, how old were you?

• 7:01Ed Mylett?

  I moved back in with my parents when I was twenty-three.

• 7:04Jay Shetty?

  Right, so you're twenty-three years old?

• 7:05Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 7:06Jay Shetty?

  And I'm sure there are people listening and watching right now who are having their first dream is either dying, about to die, or has already died.

• 7:13Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 7:13Jay Shetty?

  What does it take to dream a second time?

• 7:16Ed Mylett?

  Wow. No one's asked me that before, because I felt like, I felt like my life that I thought I was going to have was over. And I know a lot of people feel like they go through a divorce, you know, or they're going through a bankruptcy or something, or you think it's over. What it took for me was to find my actual home, my actual passions in my life. And I thought what I wanted was to be rich and famous and successful and all of those things, but a great, you know, a convergence of experiences happened that put me in a position where I was humbled, but I got a chance to serve other people for really the first time. When you're an athlete, everybody kind of caters to you, how great you are, you know, you moved to the front of lines in life and all that, and all of a sudden, I couldn't even get in the line. And I got a job at a place called McKinley

• 8:01Ed Mylett?

  Home for Boys, that's a story we probably should tell them.

• 8:04Jay Shetty?

  Yes, hundred percent.

• 8:04Ed Mylett?

  That just altered my life. But what changed for me was finding a path where I served others. Like, literally took my unique gifts, which I have a couple, every human being's born, in my opinion, with a couple of unique blessings and gifts. I had a few. Ironically, they weren't being used on a baseball field. And frankly, you know what, you and I have talked about this off-camera, you know what I think? I think that was not my dream. I think that was a dream I sort of picked up somewhere from mom and dad or TV or somewhere else that that I went, you know, I, that looks like it would be a dream. But it really wasn't something that was mine. It was more like modeling someone else's.

• 8:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 8:42Ed Mylett?

  And so I don't know that ironically that it was my dream. It was something that kind of got given to me that I just sort of took and ran with and I was decent at it and I got close to having it, but failed.

• 8:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's crazy. These adopted dreams that we have, right?

• 8:54Ed Mylett?

  Very well said.

• 8:55Jay Shetty?

  To adopt them from other people.

• 8:56Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 8:57Jay Shetty?

  And, and I love you putting it that way because I think for everyone listening and watching, just, just take a note of what Ed's saying. What he's saying is that actually what you're chasing may not be what you want to chase. And it may have been planted from someone. Actually, you may not even know your real skills and passions and that could start there. So I love that and oh, go on.

• 9:13Ed Mylett?

  No, what I was gonna say was that I think I wasn't intentional about what I really wanted. I thought, well, if I play baseball, you know what I really wanted? I wanted to be happier. Like if you really get down to it, I, I wanted to be happier. And I thought, well, if I make professional baseball, then I'll be happier. And I think a lot of people, you know, they think they want these things, but if you really strip it down, at least for me, I just wanted to be happier. I wanted to be more fulfilled. And I thought baseball would get me that because these guys look pretty happy.

• 9:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 9:42Ed Mylett?

  You know, and it was a childhood dream that I carried with me into adulthood. But as I became a little bit older, bro, I was like, you know what really fulfills me? You know what really makes me happy? Not hitting a round ball with a wooden bat over someone's head. It's actually making a difference for another human being. And I'll be honest with you, it shocked me. Because I really had never even conceived that that would be something that would fulfill me. You know, why would that fulfill me? Working with kids or making, no one knows. It's not on TV. Nobody broadcasts it. You don't get a lot of money for doing it. Why would that be a dream? Yet it's the thing that filled me up more than anything I've ever done in my life to this day.

• 10:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's incredible. That's, that's, that's absolutely phenomenal. And you mentioned there, and I really wanted to dive into this. The trajectory of your life transformed when you Help to this home for disadvantaged boys. And I'm like, I'm fascinated by how that first of all even came about into your life. Because I'm thinking, as a young person, who thinks about going to help and support and serve? Tell me about how you got there and what you learned about the challenges that, the patterns that you saw in the boys and what they experienced.

• 10:47Ed Mylett?

  Wonderful. You know, one thing that occurs to me is that oftentimes in our life, our dreams don't show up in the package we thought they'd show up in.

• 10:53Jay Shetty?

  Oh, so good.

• 10:54Ed Mylett?

  And I really, it just occurred to me as you were saying it, like, that was not a dream that in any way I thought would be a package I would uncover. Oftentimes even who you end up eventually falling in love with might not be the person you pictured when you were 10 years old or 14 years old.

• 11:08Jay Shetty?

  Definitely, yeah.

• 11:08Ed Mylett?

  Dreams show up, even my other careers, other businesses, they were things I really thought I would be doing, right? They show up in unique packages, but everything happens for you and not to you. And I just fundamentally believe that. And I grew up, my dad's my best friend now, but my dad was an alcoholic while I was a child. And ironically, my dad's drinking in many ways. His alcoholism happened for me and not to me. Although it's so hard to understand that when you're a little boy and you have all this chaos and anxiety in your life and fear is what having an alcoholic family member can do for you. But one thing I gave you, I'll give you three things it gave me. Number one, when my dad would come home, when he would, I'd have to deduce really quickly. I have to look at him and be present. Which dad am I getting?

• 11:51Ed Mylett?

  Am I getting happy sober dad who wants to play with me? Or am I getting drunk, kind of angry, disconnected, mean dad? And so I built these skills as a young man because of my dad's drinking, of being present with people and assessing them, really. And that's a unique thing that I developed because my dad drank. Second thing that happened was my dad got sober. He's at an AA meeting. I'm now living back at his house as a grown man. And he comes back from the AA meeting, first AA meeting, first sobriety meeting, and says, hey, I got you a job. You're getting off the bed tomorrow morning. Get down to McKinley Home for Boys. I said, what is that? He goes, I don't know, but I got you a job at six bucks an hour. Show up 6 a.m. I walk in the door at that 6 a.m. meeting. I said, I'm here for the job. What is it? I said, I have no idea. My dad sent me here.

• 12:36Ed Mylett?

  This is where my life changes. Grown man, college degree, my dad sent me here. What are you supposed to be doing here? I said, I have no idea. Come back when you know. Do you even know who referred you? I said, well, his name's Tim, I think my dad said. I get to the door and they're like, come back. And I said, well, I think he's an alcoholic because he was at an AA meeting with my dad last night. And they go, "Oh, drunk Tim, Cottage Eight." I'm like, "Holy crap." And I walked down to Cottage Eight and all the boys, there's eight, there's 10 boys there, all eight to 10 years old, getting ready for school. And I opened the door and the whole room stops and they all stop and stare at me. And little did I know in that moment, my life would change. I became their father, their big brother. I went trick or treating. I was there for Christmas. I'd do their homework with them.

• 13:18Ed Mylett?

  As a young man, athlete, full of ego, I was humbled that I needed to, I'm getting chills. I had to serve these boys. And the third thing my dad's drinking did for me is it equipped me for that moment. Because these boys all had the same anxiety. They were wards of the court. Their parents were dead, incarcerated, or had molested them. And so although I didn't have that kind of anxiety, I knew what it was like to be a little eight-year-old boy and be fearful and be scared. And I could connect with them based on that. And so ironically, the entire time, God, the universe, life was equipping and preparing me for that moment. If my dad's not an alcoholic, I don't learn to assess people, he's not at the AA meeting that refers me, and I can't connect with these boys when I get there.

• 14:00Ed Mylett?

  And so eventually in life, the dots all connect if you stay vigilant and you stay after it. And in that moment, my life changed.

• 14:07Jay Shetty?

  That is unbelievable.

• 14:08Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 14:08Jay Shetty?

  Like to have that responsibility, to be a dad, to be a friend, to be a brother, to all these kids at that age in your life.

• 14:17Ed Mylett?

  Correct.

• 14:17Jay Shetty?

  When you're trying to find yourself.

• 14:19Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 14:19Jay Shetty?

  And you've just had this massive failure. And to have the emotional intelligence, I mean, what you just said about what you learned from your father is such a beautiful learning point for everyone out there. It's like the lessons you learned just gave you emotional intelligence.

• 14:33Ed Mylett?

  It did. And what happened, it was so funny you say that because I remember thinking, I don't know anything about being a big brother or a dad or those things. And oftentimes when our dream starts to show up, we start saying that to ourselves. "I'm not ready, I'm not prepared, I don't have this experience." They're gonna figure out I don't even know what I'm doing. But the truth is, there were a lot of things in my life that equipped me for that moment, that made that moment mine. And the difference was, bro, is that you know what? When you get obsessed, I really believe this because I've tried to practice it since that time, the last 30 years or so. Like if I'll really get out of myself and get into the other person in total service of them, there's a wisdom in the universe that sort of guides you in the right direction. You drawing upon previous experiences that you didn't even know were preparing you for these moments.

• 15:17Ed Mylett?

  And I got pretty good at it. And those boys, some of them have stayed in my life to this day.

• 15:21Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow.

• 15:22Ed Mylett?

  Oh, I loved it, bro. Like, I loved it. When I eventually had to leave there because my financial business had taken off, I stayed many, many months longer than I should have financially because I just loved being with these boys because it was my home. I finally found my calling in my life, which was to kind of make a difference in other people's lives. And since that time, I haven't been happy every day of my life. I've had all kinds of trials and tribulations. But I do kind of know my recipe to find it. And it's always getting outside of myself. It's always making a difference. This is why I do my show and why you do things like this, too.

• 15:54Jay Shetty?

  That's so powerful, man. And now you are a father.

• 15:57Ed Mylett?

  I am a father.

• 15:58Jay Shetty?

  You have a daughter called Bella.

• 15:59Ed Mylett?

  That's right. Bella, my 16-year-old.

• 16:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Tell me about the last thing that she taught you about yourself.

• 16:06Ed Mylett?

  Oh, humility. That is no big deal, right? So, we, uh, she's, I'll give you it. She's regularly letting me know that I'm in a midlife crisis. So, she's 16, but she's constantly, I'm like, what do you mean I'm in a midlife crisis? She's like, come on, dad, the beard, Instagram, you know, all the videos, all these famous friends.

• 16:25Jay Shetty?

  I mean, her dad's doing really well on Instagram. That's cool, huh?

• 16:28Ed Mylett?

  When you have children, they just want, they just, they just love you and they know all your weaknesses. But what I told her, it sounds cheesy, I said, I am in a midlife crisis. But before you were born, I was in a young life crisis. I'm in a crisis, literally, to get this best version of me to the next one. When you're, my son was little, we're at a car wash, the same man was there every week. And he'd read the newspaper back in those days, a million years ago. And he said to me one day, he goes, how old's your boy? And I said, he's six. And he goes, well, enjoy the six-year-old because when he turns seven, the six-year-old's gone forever. And when he turns eight, the seven-year-old's gone. And I remember thinking to myself, and I didn't mean to be rude to him because it's so true if you have children, they replace themselves every year, they're a new person, literally. And I said to him, sir, when did that stop for you? That change.

• 17:13Ed Mylett?

  And he just sort of stared back at me, he goes, "I don't know." I said, "You should think about that." And it hit me that the 48-year-old me, though there should be a brand-new man at 49, and the 48-year-old should be gone forever. The 24-year-old listening to this, when you turn 25, that 24-year-old should be gone, just like your six-year-old version, your seven-year-old version. But something happens in our life, brother, at some age, where that progression, that growth, begins to become stunted when we start to get affected with all these insecurities and worries, and just life starts, we think happening to us, and when we believe that, that process stops. And 25 is a lot like 26, 26 is a lot like 29. And you wake up and you go, "Man, it's been five years of the same chapters of the same book of my life."

• 17:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 17:57Ed Mylett?

  Right?

• 17:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. That is so powerful. You've just hit a light bulb for me. It's like, when we're young, we actually want change.

• 18:03Ed Mylett?

  Correct.

• 18:03Jay Shetty?

  We're excited about getting older. We're excited about going to college. We're excited about change. And as we get older, we get scared of change.

• 18:11Ed Mylett?

  Very true.

• 18:12Jay Shetty?

  We start going, "I don't want to change anymore. I want life to just stay this way."

• 18:15Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 18:15Jay Shetty?

  And I love what you're saying about the death of the last year and the birth of the new, and the constant changing and the crisis. Tell me about, when did you feel comfortable, like what you're saying, that these boys became your life?

• 18:26Ed Mylett?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:26Jay Shetty?

  But then you also realized that you weren't stable and supported financially and had to build.

• 18:32Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 18:32Jay Shetty?

  When? Because I think so many people are like that. They've found something that they like doing or they love, and they're passionate about it, but they don't know when to distance. How did you feel confident and comfortable to say to yourself, "Okay, I've done this. It's always gonna be important to me, but I need to take care of me."

• 18:47Ed Mylett?

  Very difficult decision. By the way, I, you know, I'm such a giant fan of yours and the things that you teach. And I've told you, your content grips me. I watch it from beginning to end. So I think you're more eloquent about this, probably, than I would be. But what I realized was that there was a recipe of things that made me happy, kind of a hot-button thing. When I was younger, for you to get me to do something, you had to link it to significance and recognition. If you do this, people will clap. If you do this, it'll get you money. And I realized what moves me is contribution. Contribution and growth is what moves me. And so when this financial business approached me, I was not interested in it. I'm terrible at math. I didn't like salespeople. I was not interested in that industry at all. And they convinced me that I was making a difference in other people's lives, which I was.

• 19:30Ed Mylett?

  And the one thing all my boys had in common were families in financial disarray. Every boy, and this is a campus of group homes, by the way, hundreds of boys. Every single one of them came from families in some form of financial disarray. And I believe to this day that the way that I could best serve these children long term was to somehow begin to serve the people that are supposed to be raising them. And so I decided over time, I convinced myself that that service was being taken to another level. I know my formula. I know my intention. My intention is to serve. It's like for you, I do my show. It's free. I do it because I want to make a difference for other people and not because of reciprocity, as you say so well. There's a reciprocal effect for sure.

• 20:14Ed Mylett?

  But I do it because I feel like that's who I'm supposed to be. It's my home, is to make a difference in these other people. So that was a very hard choice. To this day, if I talk too long about it, I get a little bit emotional because I remember the day where I told the boys, and it was a very difficult day. But I do feel like since then, the last 25 years, I've made a little bit of a difference in adults' lives now.

• 20:34Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. And if everyone's, if you haven't yet listened to Ed's podcast, make sure you go over and listen to it. It has phenomenal guests. And more importantly, you get more of this man's amazing energy. It's called the Max Out Your Life Podcast. Make sure you go check it out after listening to this, obviously. But please, please, please go listen to it because you'll get to see how service is so deeply ingrained into everything he's talking about. Tell me, Ed, like, where is it that you? I've heard you say this before, and I love this statement. And I think it's so powerful. You talk about being blissfully. Right?

• 21:06Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 21:07Jay Shetty?

  Dissatisfied.

• 21:08Ed Mylett?

  Correct.

• 21:09Jay Shetty?

  That's like, I love oxymorons and I love paradoxes. And when I hear you say blissfully dissatisfied, I'm like, that's the kind of life that sounds real.

• 21:18Ed Mylett?

  It is real.

• 21:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so tell us about living a life that is blissfully dissatisfied.

• 21:22Ed Mylett?

  Okay, sure. So I think that we all want bliss, we all want happiness. But what a lot of us conflate, and I used to, all of my content's for me, number one, by the way. Everything I teach is stuff that I need to work on or I need to learn.

• 21:34Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about it.

• 21:35Ed Mylett?

  Right, like everything, right?

• 21:36Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about it.

• 21:36Ed Mylett?

  So blissful dissatisfaction means, don't conflate happiness and satisfaction. They're two different things. Most people confuse them, they think they're the same. And so I think the happiest people I know is, mistake I see people make is, they're gonna delay their happiness. I will give myself permission to feel bliss when I get to the house, when I get the promotion, when I find a relationship. And they delay it, thinking that I gotta wait for this future destination. The challenge is, you're going to bring you, with you, to your beach house. And I can tell you, because I've been there, you can be in the most beautiful places in the world, but if you don't enjoy your own company, if you don't love yourself, you are not gonna love the building that you're housed in. You have to love yourself. The second thing is achievers, people that really listen to a lot of your content too, they think, well, if I let myself enjoy this right now,

• 22:21Ed Mylett?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose all my drive and ambition. Because they confuse happiness, they think, wow, my formula so far is, I don't really enjoy myself, and that keeps my drive alive. Nothing can be further from the truth. What you're doing is you're robbing your brain of dopamine when you don't celebrate your victories, when you don't enjoy it. And you are heading right towards a place called burnout. If you don't celebrate and enjoy and have bliss in your life. But a lot of achievers wrongfully believe this, and I used to believe it. I was sort of miserable, I was building a house. I'll tell you where the breakthrough was. We were building a dream home. And I ended up coming there, they were, they were inside working on it, and I walked in, I was angry, just mad about business and mad something about the house. And all of the men working on my home were these beautiful Latin men. Their music's playing, they're dancing, they're having a great time working on my home.

• 23:06Ed Mylett?

  And if you measured life in that moment by happiness... They were beating me terribly because although I had these external things, I was robbing myself from any bliss in that moment. It was ironic. The man building the mansion was miserable and the men in there working on it were blissful. And it just struck me watching it that day. I said, shame on you. And what I was lacking, as you talked so beautifully about, was gratitude. I didn't have sincere, specific gratitude. I was grateful for being alive, grateful for the breeze, not grateful for the specific beautiful things in my life. And you teach it better than I do. The more specificity you give to the things you're grateful about, the compounding effect of that emotion has in your life. And so blissful dissatisfaction, long version, just simply means this: you can live blissfully

• 23:51Ed Mylett?

  and still want to achieve and have an incongruence between what you know you're capable of and where you are.

• 24:01Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision-making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market,

• 24:43Jay Shetty?

  who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading,

• 25:24Jay Shetty?

  but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home.

• 26:07Jay Shetty?

  That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 26:14Jay Shetty?

  Great answer, great answer. That was amazing, especially what you said about the achiever's mindset, because I've been there. So I remember that when I would do well at school or I'd perform well, my parents wouldn't celebrate or they wouldn't get upset. Like it would just be like, oh, cool. It was very neutral. So what ended up happening is I was always continuing to achieve, but our response was always neutral. Now, my wife comes from the opposite, where my wife's parents celebrate everything. Like the tiniest thing in the world, they'll celebrate it for her. And I think the balance is somewhat what I think helps, because you need some hunger, but then you need that happiness. And I think you're so right that that, just that visual, you literally said it so well that I could visualize these men working away, feeling joyous,

• 26:58Jay Shetty?

  and then you like looking from your tower and your window, just feeling dissatisfied.

• 27:01Ed Mylett?

  What a jerk I was, you know? And learning from that jerkedness of myself.

• 27:06Jay Shetty?

  You're right. I said, achievers, get there. Tell us, how can we, if anyone's in that achievement, I think you've touched on something really powerful here. Anyone who's in that achievement mindset, driving themselves to burnout. Where and how do they practice that happiness, that joy, or whatever it is that you think we should be experiencing? How do you do it in a way that doesn't make you complacent?

• 27:24Ed Mylett?

  Wonderful question. So you achievers, you know what you're great at doing? You're great at getting what you want. You're great at getting what you're intentional about. The reason you are not happy, this is a real fact, you are not intentional about making that a priority in your life. Just the power of intention, of pursuing it, of looking for it. There's a part of your brain called the reticular activating system. And you achievers use this system far better than everybody else in the world. It's a filter, basically. It filters out all the things in your life that aren't important to you. So you don't feel the blood rushing through your left ear. You're not thinking about the clothes on your back. It filters, it's why when you're in a room and there's a hundred people in there and someone calls out your name, you hear it above all the other auditory noises. So, or if you're in sales, if you're really prioritizing,

• 28:08Ed Mylett?

  you'll hear a customer, having a, potential customer having a conversation. So when you achievers really get intentional about pursuing bliss, pursuing happiness, your reticular activator begins to filter that into your awareness. You will begin to see, experience, hear, feel things that were always in your environment, that you were screening out before because it wasn't a part of your intention. So intention is a huge thing. My wife, I'll tell you a quick funny story. When you're married a long time, man, you start to see quirks in each other. You're gonna learn this, you probably are starting to learn this. I love my wife, but she's crazy, right? And when we, she's developed this habit recently of when she eats a blissful meal, okay? And usually she'll make the meal.

• 28:52Ed Mylett?

  She started this thing where she moans like in joy. So she'll bite into a great steak, mm, and it's a little weird because she's beautiful, right? Babe, you're doing this in front of the kids, you know? And we're at dinner for my birthday this last year and a couple of guys were checking my wife out that, you know, that's okay. You can look at my wife once, even twice, three times, we may have an issue. And we end up sitting next to these guys and she bites into the steak on my birthday and she starts into this thing she does, this like orgasmic moaning she does for food. Mm, mm, mm, like babe, shut it down. This is not fair to these guys. And the kids are like, mom, that's creepy. She's like, what am I doing? She's like, mm, it's so good. And she says to me in the moment, she goes, you know, the more I enjoy it, the more I want another bite.

• 29:36Ed Mylett?

  That's this principle. If you're not enjoying the bites of your success, you're not gonna wanna take another one. So any great meal you've all bitten into, vegan or otherwise, when that thing tastes great, you had yours earlier today, the bliss of how great it tastes makes you want another bite. So for you achievers, thinking that if you enjoy the bite, that somehow you'll be less hungry is absolutely not true. You will be hungrier the more bliss you allow yourself to experience.

• 30:03Jay Shetty?

  Dude, that is an epic analogy. Does she know that she's being used?

• 30:07Ed Mylett?

  She absolutely knows lately cuz it's still a little weird cuz she still does it.

• 30:11Jay Shetty?

  But that is such a powerful point. That is so powerful. And bringing it to life in that way is brilliant, by the way. It's awesome. And it totally makes sense. It completely, completely makes sense. And I think that's what we struggle with so much is that we get scared. Because I used to be like, okay, I need to stay curious and I don't wanna be complacent. And then you start living in this. And it's such a, it's such a cold, tense place to live.

• 30:37Ed Mylett?

  That's perfectly right. And you begin to convince yourself, Jay, you're so right. You begin to convince yourself that somehow these patterns that I have that don't serve me are the reasons why I'm successful. But the truth is, you're winning in spite of these bad habits, not because of them. I used to think all the time, I'm winning over and over and achieving over cuz I don't enjoy any of this. I'm gonna stay really neutral cuz I was raised like that too. If I had a home run, we expected you to.

• 31:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 31:03Ed Mylett?

  You know, really? You expected me to? I got straight A's, you expected me to?

• 31:06Jay Shetty?

  Same.

• 31:07Ed Mylett?

  Same exact thing. And I married someone who is what I call very easily blissful. Simple things make my wife happy, right? Simple things, doesn't need a mansion or a beach or fancy clothes or anything like that. She is easily happy, particularly if we're together. People make her happy. And she always taught me when we were little, cuz you know, we met when we were five and four. As a little girl, there was this wisdom. She'd always say, cuz I always want stuff, you know? I'm gonna achieve, we're gonna live in a beach house and a mansion and a jet and all this stuff. And she'd always tell me, babe, people matter, things don't. People matter. And this little girl would tell me this growing up. And then when I walk into McKinley Home for Boys, those words start to really be true. Because guess what? It was in my reticular activator all the time and people did start to matter to me and things really didn't.

• 31:51Ed Mylett?

  And ironically, I got a lot of things because I helped a lot of people. But it really wasn't my intention. So anyway, she's right and I was wrong. As usual.

• 32:00Jay Shetty?

  Great principle, yeah, I love that. Now, you mentioned patterns then, you were saying how some of the patterns we build, we think serve us, or sometimes they're not serving us. Now, one of your patterns you've always said is a little extra, always doing a little extra.

• 32:12Ed Mylett?

  One more.

• 32:13Jay Shetty?

  Like, yeah, one more. Like, tell us about who you saw that in, or how you perceived that, and how it became a practice for you in a healthy way.

• 32:21Ed Mylett?

  So, actually, name dropper time. But I got a chance, when I was a pretty young man, I'm in a gym, and Sylvester Stallone was in the same gym as I was. He and I, just the two of us in this very private gym, we both still belong to the same club.

• 32:33Jay Shetty?

  I'm a huge Sylvester Stallone fan.

• 32:34Ed Mylett?

  So am I.

• 32:34Jay Shetty?

  I've already met him, number one.

• 32:35Ed Mylett?

  I was a huge Rocky fan.

• 32:37Jay Shetty?

  Me too, I'm a huge Rocky fan.

• 32:38Ed Mylett?

  And he's, and he's got his shirt off, because it's a little private gym that I'm in. And it was a pretty surreal experience, because in the middle of it, I'm like, I'm working out with Rocky, and we're doing the Rocky workout, this is pretty cool. But every single lift we would do, if we had to do eight, he convinced me, he's going to do eight, and I'd go, seven, eight, he'd go, one more. I'm like, one more. And every single rep was one more. And I walked out when we were done, thanked him, and we've become friends since then. And I remember thinking to myself, that's a great metaphor for life. If you're going to max out your life, it's one more. And so, it's one more phone call, one more I love you to my children, one more reach out to one of my friends, one more rep in the gym. So, I have this adage in my life where I just always do one more.

• 33:22Ed Mylett?

  And ironically, I've linked my self-confidence to keeping that one promise. Because I think self-confidence is the process of keeping promises you make to yourself. And that's a promise I can control, right? I can make one more text to a friend at night. I can reach, I can tell my wife one more time I love her before we go to sleep. I can walk in one more time and do my prayers and meditation with my daughter. And that one more in my life has sort of become part of my identity. And I have this weird thing in my mind that I think that if I'm willing to do things most people aren't willing to do, perhaps I can produce results that are uncommon for most people.

• 33:56Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 33:56Ed Mylett?

  And that's the one more adage, that's why I do it.

• 33:58Jay Shetty?

  I love that, and I think that's such a beautiful thing. Anyone who's listening or watching right now, like, that is something you can start practicing right now. And you're right, do you know why that's so perfect is? When you lose someone or something bad happens, you always think of that one moment that could have been different. That one call that could have gone differently. That one dinner that you could have had. Like, it's always that, right? Like, when you lose someone that you love, or someone dies, or you break up with someone, you always like that one. Like, it's always one. You never go, "Oh, there were like seven things that we wish we did." Right? Like, it's always like that. And so if you're always living one more, then you're already that step ahead, that you're actually stopping yourself from living with regret.

• 34:35Ed Mylett?

  I've told you so many times, I think there's so much wisdom from such a young man with you. And one of the things, ironically, when you say that, that I've started as a practice to help myself be present. Because being present is a difficult thing in today's age. I think you'd agree for many people. It's projected. Children are great at being present, but dreaming about the future still. And adults were not so good at that. And it's funny, but I do this thing with the one more, where I flip it a little bit. And what if this was the last one? So if it was the last one, the last time I see my dad, how would I treat this engagement? Would my phone be done? How would we talk? What would I say? What would I do? What if it was my last wave I get to surf out there in the ocean? What if it's my last workout? What if it's my last meeting? Last time I saw my wife? Last time I talked to my friend?

• 35:20Ed Mylett?

  Last round of golf? Last whatever? Because when something becomes scarce, we give it value. And we become deluded in our life into thinking that somehow these are gonna last forever. I'll always have one more. That's a perverted way of looking at one more. What if it's the last one? If we've learned anything recently with some of these people that have affected us all so deeply that have passed away, a Kobe or somebody like that, it's because it occurs to us in that moment that this could be the last one. I was with Kobe the last Sunday tournament he was at with his daughter. Our daughters played volleyball against each other. And I didn't know Kobe very well, not as well as you did, but I observed him that day. And I remember thinking when he walked out of that gym, what if someone said, "Kobe, you have six days left." What if someone would have told him when he got in the car?

• 36:05Ed Mylett?

  Can you imagine in that moment knowing that this is finite? We don't have forever. And so I do utilize that with myself. Our conversation, what if this is the last time I get to do your show? I want to make, it gives it importance. It gives it value. Scarcity needs value, so I use last ones a lot too.

• 36:23Jay Shetty?

  Dude, that is a great flip. Like, that's awesome. Like, that is awesome. That's so cool. And I love that because these are all things people can start living today. And guys, if you're loving this conversation so far, make sure you go follow Ed on Instagram. I mean, like, he is sharing these truths every single day, every single morning, and he's engaging and interacting with his audience. The engagement that Ed gets on Instagram is insane and through the roof because he's so present there. And so if you want to feel that more every day, make sure you go over to Ed Milat on Instagram and follow him to learn more about this. This is, by the way, I am loving this conversation so far. Like, everything you're saying is so practical and real, but I love how it originates, like, how it actually comes to you. Like, that's true, I mean, Sylvester Stallone, I've only met him once in my life, and shaking his hand was enough for me, but it was like, it's, you know,

• 37:06Jay Shetty?

  he had that power and you see that these greats, they have these simple habits that make a change, these simple things that they repeat to themselves, etc., these mantras that transform things. Now, for you, you're now giving speeches inspiring tons of powerful people, and also not just inspiring people, you're inspiring tons of powerful people in the room. Like, you're on stages with leaders of their companies and businesses and industries, but you weren't always like that.

• 37:33Ed Mylett?

  No.

• 37:34Jay Shetty?

  Right? I've heard you say before that you actually lacked confidence and you'd get anxious.

• 37:38Ed Mylett?

  Big time.

• 37:39Jay Shetty?

  And like, I can't believe that. When I saw you come in today, like, you've got this larger-than-life personality. Tell me about that evolution of what were the steps to building real confidence?

• 37:50Ed Mylett?

  Yes, okay.

• 37:51Jay Shetty?

  Not just fake, not just the fake stuff, not just the like, "Oh, I've got muscles and I'm cool now." It's like, what really helped you become really confident? Because you exude real confidence.

• 37:59Ed Mylett?

  Wow, thank you, because that is something I certainly lacked. I think anything you get really great at in life, it's out of necessity. I mean, I needed it. I was such an insecure little boy, so shy. And I would say even into early adulthood, even into when I walked into McKinley, that was a very insecure, shy, lacking self-confidence man. And so I had to build these tools. So the first thing I would say to you is clearly this thing I said earlier about just beginning to stack the pattern of keeping the promises that I make to me. It's a huge thing, huge thing, but I'll give you secondarily. Identity is kinda like that thermostat on the wall right there. There's a thermostat, that thermostat regulates the temperature of this room. So it's pretty cold outside today, actually. It's still seventy-three degrees in here.

• 38:43Ed Mylett?

  The external conditions don't change the regulated temperature. Your identity, your self-worth, the values and truths you hold to be true about yourself are your personal identity. They regulate your life, they're a thermostat setting. And so regardless of what external things happen. You see, if it's really cold outside there, this room turns the heater on, heats it back up to seventy-three. If it's super hot outside, it will cool it back down to seventy-three degrees. It's not the external conditions, it's the internal thermostat that governs your life. It will govern everything. That's why often in your life, you'll get life going. Maybe you've got really fit for a while, or you've made a bunch of money. And then all of a sudden, you wake up six months later and you're back at that weight again you don't want. And you're financially back where you were. You've turned the air conditioner back down to get life comfortable where you believe you deserve it. So this thing regulates everything.

• 39:28Ed Mylett?

  You can have everything else in your life together. If you're seventy-three degree, or fitness, or faith, or happiness, or money, you're gonna get seventy-three degrees eventually, just like this room. How do I alter it? I believe in the power of other human beings. So I'm a spiritual person, I'm a praying man, and I believe God uses other people to alter our thermostat. So I became, I mean meticulous, crazy. I've told you three times today, intentionally, I want to spend more time with you. The reason is, is I believe you help me with my thermostat in certain areas. So what I did, my recipe, was keeping the promises I made to myself and adding people close to my proximity who could alter those temperature settings in the area.

• 40:08Ed Mylett?

  So I have a lot of, forget wealth, I have a lot of really happy people I surround myself with. Cause they, through association, raise me to eighty, and eighty-five, and ninety degrees of happiness. If you wanna increase your faith, you all have seen this. If you're around incredibly faithful spiritual people, your internal thermostat changes. Same with money. You can't be around super-fit people in your proximity and not eventually become more fit through proximity. So mine has been proximity of people that raise my temperature setting.

• 40:42Speaker 02

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• 41:12Jay Shetty?

  Dude, that is such a great analogy again. That is amazing. When you start talking about it, I was like, yeah, wow, like, that's exactly it. Like, that's the mistake we're making. We're letting the out... If you just left the doors open

• 41:22Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 41:22Jay Shetty?

  and you took the thermostat off, your temperature would be based on what's happening outside. Today's not the best day weather-wise. We'd be freezing in here.

• 41:30Ed Mylett?

  Freezing, and that's how most people live, bro.

• 41:32Jay Shetty?

  That is exactly how we live.

• 41:33Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 41:33Jay Shetty?

  We just leave the doors open, let the outside decide the inside.

• 41:37Ed Mylett?

  Got it.

• 41:38Jay Shetty?

  And you just let it figure out. Wow, that is such a great way of looking at it.

• 41:41Ed Mylett?

  And for the record, I want everybody to understand this. I only know this because I lived the wrong way so long. I wasn't born with it. This is something, and by the way, something I still navigate. I still protect, to use some of the terminology. I protect people, the proximity of people around me. And it doesn't mean that I don't have people in my life that live at lower temperatures. Of course I do, but I manage their proximity to me. So if you have people in your life that are blood and they can't leave your life, but maybe they don't feed you, they take your energy, you need to evaluate their existence in your life. But most importantly, you can evaluate their proximity.

• 42:13Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 42:14Ed Mylett?

  How much you let them affect you, how regularly you communicate with them, how close they are to you. That's where they have influence over you. My kids, you said about kids earlier, I'll just say this.

• 42:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, please.

• 42:23Ed Mylett?

  My children, you worry about their teachers, right? Who their teachers are, because that shapes them. But who I really worry about with my kids? What do you worry about? Who their friends are. Who's in their proximity, it changes everything. You've got that little time in your life where you kind of went the wrong way. I guarantee you, there were some people you were running with then that moved your temperature setting in the wrong direction.

• 42:40Jay Shetty?

  Always.

• 42:40Ed Mylett?

  And then after college, you end up being with the monks, right? My gosh, did you get in the proximity of people who live life blissfully and more happy and more peacefully. Their temperature setting on bliss, happiness and peace is off the radar. And part of it is your proximity to them, I'm sure.

• 42:56Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, I love that, you said it best. You can't change the people, you can change the proximity.

• 43:00Ed Mylett?

  Amen.

• 43:01Jay Shetty?

  And that is such a great piece of advice. Tell me now how people can go about that. Like, do you, obviously, we know that as you grow in your career, whether it's finance, whether it's success, whether it's fame, whether it's status, more things become accessible, more people become accessible, especially when you're a good person. And we know that, we both know that that is the currency, really. Because, hey, wealthy people are not attracted by wealth. They're attracted by people, like humanity, right? Like, famous people are not attracted by fame, they're attracted by humanity. But how does someone who's listening or watching today, how do they start creating that proximity with the greatness?

• 43:40Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 43:40Jay Shetty?

  With that higher temperature, with the people that can pull them up? When they're sitting there going, yeah, like, I just, like, you know, do I email people?

• 43:48Ed Mylett?

  Right, I don't have access to walk in and work out with Sylvester Stallone.

• 43:50Jay Shetty?

  That's what I mean, yeah.

• 43:51Ed Mylett?

  That's a great point. That's one of the powers of digital media, number one. Let me say one thing to everybody. Like, your book that's out right now, my book, podcasts, those are an extreme proximity to you. They're literally in your ear, they're in your visual awareness. So it's guarding myself, I watch very little television now. I keep aware of it, but I guard myself. So it's giving the digital influence to myself. The second thing I would say is, I would ask myself, where do these people congregate? I'm not talking about wealth, I'm talking about where do people congregate that I could begin to become into their proximity? And so, I'll be honest with you, one of the places that's been great for me in my life has been a gym.

• 44:27Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow.

• 44:27Ed Mylett?

  I'm telling you, people think that's a very simple thing, but in my gym, people that are typically trying to care for their physique and their body, care more about growth and proximity in their life, and so the gym's been great for me that way. It's also actually asking somebody and it's bringing something to the table of value for them. So what I've always tried to do without giving to those people, without expecting something in reciprocity, I try to think of how can I serve this person? How can I contribute to them? How can I make a difference? My neighbor here is a gentleman that lives next door to me, if he ends up watching this. He's so generous with constantly, we're different guys. He's a doctor, he's a lot smarter guy than I am. But he's constantly always, "Ed, can I help you with this?" Can I? And I want him around me, even though we're very different people.

• 45:10Ed Mylett?

  I don't think naturally Chuck, I would say, "That's a dude just like me." But he is so generous with wanting to give. I want to be in his life and I want to give back to him on a regular basis. And now we've become very dear friends because I think of his wanting to serve me and make a difference for me. So that would be the other element I would give you is think about how you can make a difference for those people, how you could serve them.

• 45:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's great advice. And I love that how practical it is. Like I don't think, when you said the gym, I'm like, "No, that's right." I've met some amazing people in my gym.

• 45:38Ed Mylett?

  100%.

• 45:38Jay Shetty?

  So I think you're spot on.

• 45:39Ed Mylett?

  You did it, you did it when you sought out your spiritual part of your life by going with the monks. You have to go where they are.

• 45:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so true. You've got to go where they are. Because yeah, we're expecting them to turn up.

• 45:48Ed Mylett?

  Right, they're not going to just appear.

• 45:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, they're not just going to appear.

• 45:51Ed Mylett?

  Where are they? Are they at somewhere where you go faith-based? Do they go to a particular, you know, social organization? Is there a club you could join? Where are they on social media? The gym for me was a place that just really, I met a lot of positive. It's hard to be moving your body all the time and be negative.

• 46:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 46:08Ed Mylett?

  Because their states are high. So people that work out have a higher physical state.

• 46:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and what you're saying is so important because I think the challenge also people have is they want to be sitting next to Richard Branson. Or you want to be sitting next to Jeff Bezos. So you want to be with that. And it's like, well, actually, you don't even need that right now.

• 46:24Ed Mylett?

  No.

• 46:24Jay Shetty?

  You just need someone who's like three degrees ahead, five degrees ahead.

• 46:28Ed Mylett?

  You're just better at that than me, brother, because you're so right. In fact, if there's too much separation, they have no magnetism to alter your thermostat. If you're at 73 degrees and I'm at 150, our vibrations are too different. You want someone who's at 78 or 79 degrees. And those people are around you all the time. And through time, there's a progression where that thermostat setting keeps changing. You're 100% right about that.

• 46:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and that's why I like the places you chose. Because you may not bump into X person there, but you will bump into someone.

• 46:56Ed Mylett?

  Absolutely.

• 46:57Jay Shetty?

  I love that. You talk a lot about having huge reasons and high standards.

• 47:02Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 47:02Jay Shetty?

  When you said huge reasons, when I hear you speak about that, I love that. Because I feel like... Most people today, when you ask them why they're doing something, you don't really get a solid answer. And I think we struggle with that, most of us. And I know in my time, in my life, when I chose to become a monk, that was the first time. If someone asked me why I was a monk, I knew exactly my reasons. I had huge reasons for being a monk. I had huge reasons for leaving being a monk. I have huge reasons for the way I live right now. But there were times in my life where I had very weak reasons or no reasons. Tell us about huge reasons and high standards.

• 47:36Ed Mylett?

  Great point. So reasons, the one thing I have found is that people think they have reasons and they're very general. Specificity is one of the rarest things I can get from people when I coach them. I don't know if you observe this too, but it's like, well, why do you want to do it? Well, I want to be happier. Well, why do you want to do it? Because I want to be rich. Really? Like, what specifically is the reason? What's your specific emotional compelling reason to do something? For example, I am relatively fit. And it's not because I'm super disciplined. I'm a lazy person naturally. I have massive reasons which has caused me to create disciplines around me. When I was 30, I had a heart attack. And most people don't know this. I've not talked a lot about this. And I went and saw a remarkable doctor. I could have seen a normal doctor. What do they do?

• 48:19Ed Mylett?

  They give you the prescription, take your stat and do whatever and see you. He got reasons. So what happens is you go do the scan. He does the scan and you go to lunch. I'll never forget this. I literally ate a burrito at the lunch. That's how after it. And I come back from the scan. There's nobody in the lobby and the doctor comes in and he goes, I'm looking for Edward Mylett. I'm like, I'm Ed Mylett. He knew who I was. And he looks at the chart and he looks back at me and he goes, I can't believe those arteries are in that young of a body. And I went, oh, my gosh, what's in the scan? He's loading me up with reasons. So he gets back, listen to this, Jay. He says, he puts my chart down and he goes, do you have children? I said, yes. He says, do you have a daughter? I said, I do. He said, how old is she? And I said, she's a baby. And he said, are you interested in walking her down the aisle on her wedding day?

• 49:03Ed Mylett?

  And I went, what did you just say? He said, I want to know if you want to be there and walk your daughter down the aisle on her wedding. You don't talk to a dad about his daughter. You got my attention. I go, what the f is in that scan, man? And he goes, I want you to listen to me right now. If you don't change what you're doing, another man is walking your little baby girl down the aisle on her wedding day. Do you got it? And I said, yes, sir, I do. And he goes, but if you listen to me and you do exactly what I tell you, you'll be there for her wedding day. I'm telling you, brother, when I don't want to get out of bed in the morning and it's 5:15 and I've had a long night before, Bella's wedding day, Bella's wedding day, Bella's wedding day. Maybe a hun- a hundred times a year, Bella's wedding day. So that's what gets my butt in the gym. My big, specific reasons get me to take actions I otherwise wouldn't take.

• 49:47Ed Mylett?

  So what's your specific reasons for the things you want? And if you anchor and link those to them, you'll get the standards that you set for yourself.

• 49:54Jay Shetty?

  What a great, huge reason.

• 49:55Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:56Jay Shetty?

  I mean, that gave me chills, like hearing you say that, looking into my eyes, I'm like, literally like.

• 50:00Ed Mylett?

  You can feel it.

• 50:01Jay Shetty?

  Whoa, like that's the reason to stay alive.

• 50:03Ed Mylett?

  That's why I'm fit.

• 50:04Jay Shetty?

  That's the best reason I've ever heard. I don't think I've ever heard a better reason.

• 50:08Ed Mylett?

  That's exactly right.

• 50:09Jay Shetty?

  My reasons always, I don't want to die by my own fault.

• 50:11Ed Mylett?

  No, but that's a real reason.

• 50:13Jay Shetty?

  That's my reason, like my reasons, like if anything happens and I die, I can deal with that because I couldn't do anything.

• 50:18Ed Mylett?

  Have you not found that though, for you take, anyone that's been on your show, or anyone you have achieved something at an extremely high level? They have an extremely specific, big reason to do it.

• 50:27Jay Shetty?

  Oh, 100%.

• 50:28Ed Mylett?

  And so to the extent that the reason is big and specific, and by the way, you may go, well, I don't know what my reasons would be. Let me give you a pathway.

• 50:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, please.

• 50:35Ed Mylett?

  Almost always, your reasons will be your dreams or other people. Almost always, they'll fit one of those two categories, big dreams or other people. Cause most of you have such good hearts and are such good human beings, you will do a thousand times more for another human being than you'd ever do for yourself. And so if you can link the things you want to the people you love, to the, to the things you love, meaning the causes you love or the people you love, your dreams or other people, you'll almost always find your pathway to your reason.

• 51:02Jay Shetty?

  Ah, so good, man. So, and it's also, what I love about what you're saying is that it's emotionally driving. It's not just logical.

• 51:09Ed Mylett?

  Very rarely is it logical.

• 51:10Jay Shetty?

  It's not like just a list of like, if I don't work out, then I will put on this much weight. If I don't work out, then I will, that's, it's not logical, it's emotional.

• 51:17Ed Mylett?

  Human beings are emotional beings.

• 51:18Jay Shetty?

  We're emotional.

• 51:19Ed Mylett?

  Right, what we do is we make decisions emotionally and we rationalize them logically. And so if you at least know the way that you think, even if you're in sales, your customers buy things emotionally and justify and rationalize them logically. And so in life, you're selling yourself all the time on getting you to do the things that you otherwise aren't normally doing. You're gonna decide it emotionally and then rationalize it logically.

• 51:42Jay Shetty?

  And it's love, like love is pulling you to your daughter's wedding.

• 51:47Ed Mylett?

  Every time.

• 51:47Jay Shetty?

  Right, like that love is pulling you there. It's, obviously fear always pushes us a little bit and that's good. We, I think fear is a good push.

• 51:55Ed Mylett?

  So do I.

• 51:55Jay Shetty?

  But love is a beautiful pull. And, and when it works together, it's just, oh, that, that is, that's blown my mind. Like, I think that's the best reason I've ever heard to staying healthy and fit. I'm excited for Bella. Sorry, I know Bella, you're 16 years old.

• 52:08Ed Mylett?

  By the way, take your time on the wedding day. I, I intend to be around a long time. You can wait another 26 years if you want, as far as I'm concerned.

• 52:16Jay Shetty?

  I love it, man, I love it. This is incredible, I am loving, I've, I've got a few more questions for you that I wanna, that I really wanna throw out now. I've, I've heard you speak about when you were, when you were broke, when you've, you know, lost your car.

• 52:28Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 52:29Jay Shetty?

  You're like in like the worst, you know, the water turns off at your place. You're in like the worst place, like, I mean, like, obviously sitting in your beautiful home today and people now seeing you on your jet and the life you live, that's hard to calibrate for a lot of people. Like, they're like, whoa, really? Like, did he actually have that? And not in terms of like not believing you, it's, it's just hard to understand how bad it can get for someone.

• 52:53Ed Mylett?

  It was bad.

• 52:54Jay Shetty?

  Right, yeah, I know, I believe you. Tell, tell me about what you wish someone would have told you at that time or what you were telling yourself?

• 53:04Ed Mylett?

  Great.

• 53:04Jay Shetty?

  So that people can say that to each other or themselves.

• 53:07Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I got so broke, as you illustrated there, that we didn't just lose our power, I didn't just lose my home, but they turned the water off. And we had to shower at the apartment we were living in, their pool was just shameful. And, and a lot of, you know, I was, I was selling a dream in my life and living a nightmare. And I don't know that I was feeding myself. If I could go back and tell myself, I would say something really true that I've learned all through my life, and this too will pass, this time will pass. And not everything in life is permanent, but. What I think changed for me at that time in my life is I really was producing in my life what I believed I deserved. And it was really difficult for me to accept that. There was a part of me, deep down, that really was getting what I believed I deserved. And the reason was, I had a pattern, Jay, in my life when I was young.

• 53:51Ed Mylett?

  Of anything I did wrong, any mistakes I made, I would carry that shame forward, like kind of bags you carry around with you. I just was so hard on myself. So if I made a mistake there, or I wasn't completely truthful somewhere else, or I had hurt somebody, or I just failed, I started stacking all of it, like bags that I carried. And I did get to the point in my life where I think that's what I thought I was worth. And if I could go back, I would tell myself, "That's not true." That you're special, that you were born to do something great in your life. If anyone listening to this is carrying those bags, number one, you can decide to drop them at any moment. They're a figment of your imagination. You can drop those bags anytime you want. And if no one's told you in a while, remember, you were born to do something great with your life.

• 54:36Ed Mylett?

  There's a purpose for you. You're special, you're unique, you were born with two, three, four, five, super special gifts that are yours. They may not be mine and yours. Maybe they're not great orators, or they can't articulate, but they're nurturing skills, they're faith skills, they're intellect, they're humor, they're beauty, they're touch, they're concern. There's all kinds of skills that you need to identify in yourself, and you were given those skills to make a difference in the world, to do something great in small ways and big ways. I'll tell you one last thing. There's people that do huge things in life that never get credit. The person that recruited me into that financial company quit that company. Right? And people say, "Well, what a failure." But because that person reached out to me and made a difference, I've gone on in my

• 55:21Ed Mylett?

  life to really reach millions of people. If that person didn't have that one act of kindness, that one generosity, that one, "Hey, I believe in you, you'd be good at this." They made a huge difference in their life through me. And without that seed they planted, there'd be no harvest. So we all are called to do something great, and I just want everyone to hear that today, no matter what bags you're carrying. You were born to do something great.

• 55:42Jay Shetty?

  I think that's such great advice. And we see all the time, and we just don't apply it to ourselves. When you say that, the first thing that came to my mind was the X-Men and Avengers. And I was thinking of like, or anything, yeah, any Marvel, you know, character, or whatever character it is. And you think of something like Wolverine. Like, you know, he's got his blades coming out of his hands and he's got this healing body. But guess what? Cyclops got the laser beam coming out of him. And like Captain America doesn't have the same things as Iron Man does. And Iron Man doesn't have the same things that Spider-Man does. And Spider-Man doesn't have the same things, if we're going to DC Universe, that Batman does. And I'm like, but they're not looking at each other going, oh, I wish I could like shoot Spidey things out. They don't care.

• 56:22Ed Mylett?

  That's exactly right, brother. And there's funny thing about that is all of us at any, we're playing a character.

• 56:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 56:27Ed Mylett?

  And at any time, you could decide to turn the page and write a new chapter in your life and become a whole new character. There just became a point where I'm like, you know what? I am confident. I am stronger. I, I am funnier. I just started to step into this person. I started to write a new character. And along those lines, I just got to tell you, like, people say, what's your overriding belief about life? I believe there's a man I was born to be. I believe there's a man or woman you were born to be. It's kind of the ultimate version of you. And I have this hallucination, no matter what your faith life is, that's completely your personal belief. But I think at the end of life, you're going to meet that person you were capable of becoming. I really do believe that. I believe you're introduced to this person, the ultimate version of you, the places you could have gone, the differences you could have made, the memories you could have had, the moments of your life.

• 57:09Ed Mylett?

  And to me, bliss, heaven, if you will, is meeting that person who were identical twins. And hell, and a typical terrible way to die would be to never, never be anywhere near close, to be total strangers with that person. I think about that. Is this decision, is today, is meeting you, getting me closer to being that man I was born to be incapable of? And it does fill me all the time with joy and with a little bit of pain, you said earlier, fear I'm not going to get there. And I live every day chasing that guy.

• 57:36Jay Shetty?

  Everyone, that is Ed Milat. What, what, I mean, those are beautiful words to, to come towards the end of our interview. I wanted to read something to you. We found this on your YouTube page from a comment from one of your fans. And I wanted to share it with you because I thought it was really, really powerful. So this person goes, being an entrepreneur is no joke and not for the weak. We all want to be in control of our life, time and money. But are we really strong enough to weather the storm and believe in ourselves enough to stick it out and win? I love the part where Ed talks about not selling yourself or your family out. Wow. I will listen to this over and over and share it with everyone on my team and everyone I know. Thank you, Ed Milat, for sharing your story as it has really touched me to the core.

• 58:20Jay Shetty?

  This is something that I needed to hear and I know that so many others do as well. I mean, you know.

• 58:26Ed Mylett?

  That feels great.

• 58:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I mean, it's not like, you know, I wanted to share that with you because I feel like, you know, I might, we don't always get to hear that from someone else. And we don't get to hear it in a voice because it's a comment.

• 58:37Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 58:37Jay Shetty?

  And I wanted to share that with you because I, yeah, I just wanted you to recognize just how powerful your work is.

• 58:42Ed Mylett?

  Well, thank you. I believe what he said there with, or she, what they were referencing was that you're gonna have to pay a price to win in your life.

• 58:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:48Ed Mylett?

  There's a price tag. And when I was poor, what do you do when you're, you don't have any money? Because I lived a long way that way. You negotiate prices all the time. You're always flipping the price tag. What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? So many people live their life in scarcity, and they're always negotiating the price. What am I paying? I'm suffering so much. I've got to go through this. And they constantly are negotiating the price in their mind. And eventually, what most people do is they'll sell their will to win. The price will get too high for them to chase their dream, for them to win. There's just a point where they just go, price is too high, and they make an excuse. Well, it wasn't for me. Timing wasn't right. No, you sold your family's dreams. There was a price you weren't willing to pay. And for me, I just decided, there's too much energy drained in negotiating it all the time. I've negotiated in advance.

• 59:31Ed Mylett?

  As long as it's legal, ethical, and moral, I'll pay any price to make bliss and happiness for my family. And that, I'm not for sale. My will to win is not for sale. And I would just recommend all of you, negotiate the price now. Your family, your dreams, the people you love, how much are they worth to you? How important are they to you? How important are you to you? Whatever your faith is, how important is your God to you? And would you ever sell the price tag on that? And as long as you keep that in the front of your mind all the time, you have a chance to achieve anything in your life, as long as your will to win is not for sale.

• 1:00:03Jay Shetty?

  I love that. That's beautiful. We're gonna end with two last segments that we do. They're quick segments. We've got fill in the blanks. You gotta fill in the blanks. So I no longer tolerate.

• 1:00:13Ed Mylett?

  I no longer tolerate?

• 1:00:15Jay Shetty?

  Whatever you want to fill in the blanks.

• 1:00:16Ed Mylett?

  No, I'll give it to you. I no longer tolerate fear and worry in my life, because I was a chronic fearful and worrying person. I no longer tolerate that.

• 1:00:24Jay Shetty?

  Nice. Being average will.

• 1:00:26Ed Mylett?

  Destroy me.

• 1:00:28Jay Shetty?

  The last win I celebrated was?

• 1:00:31Ed Mylett?

  Meeting you today.

• 1:00:32Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, man. The way you get out of your own way is by?

• 1:00:36Ed Mylett?

  Always coming back to my purpose and my calling in service of other people.

• 1:00:40Jay Shetty?

  Being a leader means?

• 1:00:43Ed Mylett?

  A service of other people, again.

• 1:00:45Jay Shetty?

  My favorite question to ask someone is?

• 1:00:50Ed Mylett?

  Well, the one question I ask people all the time is what do they believe will make them most happy in their life? And the diversity of answer, man, sorry to go longer, it just blows my mind what people tell me.

• 1:01:01Jay Shetty?

  I love it. I want people to be able to use that question when they're out and about, so I love that. You can inspire someone today by living...

• 1:01:07Ed Mylett?

  Your true, authentic self. Don't be afraid to be you.

• 1:01:11Jay Shetty?

  My favorite self-care practice is to...

• 1:01:15Ed Mylett?

  Meditate.

• 1:01:16Jay Shetty?

  Beautiful. I wasn't a good person when...

• 1:01:19Ed Mylett?

  My ego was in front all the time.

• 1:01:23Jay Shetty?

  Nice. All right, man, these are your final five. So these are one-word answers to one sentence maximum.

• 1:01:30Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 1:01:31Jay Shetty?

  So you did well on that last fill in the blanks. That was really effective, actually. You were probably one of our best for that. So here we go. What's something you view as a blessing today that you initially resisted?

• 1:01:41Ed Mylett?

  My baseball injury.

• 1:01:43Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, nice. What's your current biggest contribution to the world for you? What do you feel?

• 1:01:49Ed Mylett?

  I have to say, brother, what came to my head is my children.

• 1:01:56Jay Shetty?

  Beautiful. I love that. Yeah, I love that. All right. Question number three. What have you been chasing in your life that you no longer pursue?

• 1:02:05Ed Mylett?

  Personal recognition from other human beings.

• 1:02:09Jay Shetty?

  Great answer. Great answer. Okay, question number four. What's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months?

• 1:02:16Ed Mylett?

  I've learned the power of kindness. And the generosity of human beings is so much greater than what you might see in the media every single day, brother. I know that's a long answer. Human beings are good. Human beings are kind.

• 1:02:33Jay Shetty?

  I agree.

• 1:02:34Ed Mylett?

  And it's the exception when people aren't, not the rule.

• 1:02:37Jay Shetty?

  I agree. And question number five of your final five. When do you feel closest to God?

• 1:02:45Ed Mylett?

  When I'm with my children, because God gave me them, but I feel closest to God when I am making a difference in someone else's life. I feel like he's kind of looking down on me going, "Well done." And when I'm, when I'm doing that, I feel most close to him.

• 1:03:01Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, everyone. Everyone, that is Ed Mylett. Make sure you go and listen to his podcast, get the book, follow him on Instagram, on YouTube, on Facebook. Ed, where are the best places that everyone should find you?

• 1:03:11Ed Mylett?

  Go to Instagram. You'll find me on there. If you're on the other platforms, I'm on all of them. Or you go to edmylett.com.

• 1:03:16Jay Shetty?

  Perfect. Those are the places to find out about Ed. Ed, is there anything else that you wanted to mention that I haven't let you share today?

• 1:03:20Ed Mylett?

  I just want to thank you, brother. I've enjoyed our day today so much. And I just think you're a remarkable human being and I'm grateful to know you, man. Thank you.

• 1:03:28Jay Shetty?

  I'm so grateful. Ed, guys, what I want you to do is, there were so many moments in this podcast where Ed made me stop, think, and reflect. I want you to grab those, post those nuggets of wisdom onto your Instagram, tag me and Ed when you post them so that we can see what resonated with you. You know, I love noticing what are the things that are having an impact on you. There were tons that had an impact on me, so I'll be looking out. I'll be sharing a lot of them. So whether you're going to tag us on Instagram, on Twitter, on Facebook, wherever it is, tag me and Ed both so that we can see. And please go follow this man. Genuinely, I've been just in awe of him since I met him today and I can't wait for you to check him out more. So go and check out the podcast, max out your life, and go and follow him on Instagram.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.