Katee Sackhoff: ON How to Speak to Yourself

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Katee Sackhoff. Katee is an actress, most well known for playing Lieutenant Kara "Starbuck" Thrace on Battlestar Galactica. She is also a cancer survivor. We discussed everything from failure, to work ethic, to overcoming false beliefs about ourselves. She brings a unique and profound perspective to the table, in how she’s able to situate herself from the negative external opinions we too often let creep up on us. We dove into her strategies for overcoming these tough moments of self-doubt, how she’s able to understand that who you are is not what you do, and why we should never take “no” personally. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Jay Shetty?

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• 1:14Jay Shetty?

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• 1:56Jay Shetty?

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• 2:10Jay Shetty?

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• 2:31Speaker 02

  She was like, let's just get her out of the house. Like, she's so sad right now. And so I went down and they had said, you're too tall, you're too big to be Kirsten Dunst's body double. But do you want to audition for this part? Do you know how to act? And of course, I was like, absolutely, I know how to act. And I was terrified and I went home and my mom helped me memorize that. And I booked the job and sort of like never looked back.

• 2:55Jay Shetty?

  Hello, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. Thank you so much for making a commitment to your growth, your personal development, and transforming your love, your work, and your life by continuing to be a part of this community. And that's exactly what we're building here. We're building a community where you can connect with other like-minded people, where we can start spreading powerful messages all across the world through this incredible online world that we all have access to. And today's guest is someone that I learned about recently. But the way she's using her platform, the way she's using the influence she has, and the messages she's spreading are so aligned with our community. It's absolutely incredible to see what she's doing.

• 3:37Jay Shetty?

  And I can't wait for you to learn about her story and her journey, which is nothing short of inspirational. She's an American actress and producer, and she's best known for starring in Battlestar Galactica and Netflix's new series called Another Life. Her name is Katie Sackhoff. Katie, thank you for being here.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited to be here.

• 3:59Jay Shetty?

  I'm so grateful to have you here.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you very much.

• 4:02Jay Shetty?

  Because I truly believe everything I just shared to introduce you. And I feel like We want the audience today to get to know you and the depths of you, which you've never been asked about before, maybe. And you still use your Instagram profile beautifully to share all these messages. So if any of you don't follow Katie already, go ahead and follow her. Because you're just so effortlessly and honestly and through vulnerability, just bringing all of these incredible topics to the fore. So thank you for doing that.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Oh, well, thank you so much. Like I said, I'm such a huge fan. I love the community that you are forming. It's I'm in it. I follow you. I have been for quite a while now. And I just, it's such a safe place for people to be honest and talk about the things that are on their mind and the things that plague them and their worries and their fears. And, and, and that is such a powerful thing and it's just inspiring. So thank you.

• 4:55Jay Shetty?

  Well, thank you. I'm so glad you're part of the community. I'm glad I get to meet you. I always love it whenever someone's a part of the community. I love for them to come up and tell me that.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:03Jay Shetty?

  Because I just want to give them a big hug. And anyway, your energy since you walked in today has just been so welcoming and so beautiful that I want everyone to experience that through the camera and through their ears.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Well, I hope so. I wish they could. If everyone was here, I would just hug you. I was telling you.

• 5:20Jay Shetty?

  She actually would. When she walked in, I was politely going to shake Katie's hand. And then, and then like two seconds later, we just hugged each other.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do. I feel like it's the quickest way to feel somebody's energy and their warmth and to let them know that it's a safe place. And so I, I try to give really meaningful, loving hugs.

• 5:37Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Now I'm scared what you could read through my hugs. Now I'm like, oh my God, like.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  This is about you, this interview.

• 5:45Jay Shetty?

  But no, this is such a wonderful opportunity for me and the audience to get to learn more about you, your story, your background. And we almost wouldn't be having this conversation if you ended up becoming a swimmer.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  It's true. It's very true. I thought that that's what I was supposed to do. You know, I think so many times when we're little and you find something that you gravitate towards because you're good at it. It's not really necessarily something you enjoy doing. And I think there is a very big difference between where you find your joy and what you're good at. And sometimes there is a, it's, they're not the same thing, you know? And for me, I was, I was. A very good swimmer and I hated it. So when I got hurt, it was like this weird, crazy blessing in disguise where it finally gave me the courage to say to my parents, I don't really want to do this anymore. And it was my path, you know, that was sort of where I saw myself going and, and it took

• 6:41Speaker 02

  me a while to figure out what I wanted to do after that, but my mom was very instrumental in getting me out of the house and getting me like to, to go try new things. And she found this, this ad in the paper to go be Kirsten Dunst's body double. And she was like, let's just get her out of the house. Like she's so sad right now. And, and so I went down and they had said, you're, you know, you're too tall, you're too big to be Kirsten Dunst's body double, but would you want to audition for this part? Do you know how to act? And of course I was like, absolutely, I know how to act. And I was terrified and I went home and my mom helped me memorize that and I booked the job and sort of like never looked back.

• 7:17Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:18Jay Shetty?

  I love that. And I, and I love how it's sometimes something negative that happens to us that actually awakens us to what we're meant to do.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:26Jay Shetty?

  And, and we're all so different. I was speaking and because you spoke about swimming, I was speaking at a conference last week and Michael Phelps spoke, spoke after me and he was talking about mental health, which is he's such a big proponent for that, which is incredible. But, you know, he was talking about how all he wanted to do, to do was swim and all he knows how to do is swim. And here we have someone, you're saying that, actually I could do that, but I was good at it, but I didn't love it. Like I wasn't passionate about it.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  I wasn't passionate about it. It didn't give me any joy. I, I hated going to practice. I just, I really didn't enjoy it, but I didn't have, I didn't grow up in a family where we talked about emotions. And so for me to go home and say to my mom and dad, you know, I don't enjoy this. I don't get joy out of this. I don't, I don't think that they would have understood that. I think they would have just been like, but you're good at it. I don't understand. And so it took that injury for me to be able to pursue something that I actually, something where I could actually experience joy.

• 8:21Jay Shetty?

  Wow. I love this actually. And I know you said that you did one of my courses recently.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:25Jay Shetty?

  But what you're saying right now is resonating so closely with me because I've got a new course coming out and in that I talk about this quadrant of potential.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:33Jay Shetty?

  And I talk about how we waste most of our lives in this box called what we're good at, but don't love.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:39Jay Shetty?

  And where we really want to be spending most of our time is things that we're not good at, but do love.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:45Jay Shetty?

  Or things that we're good at and do love. And now you've found that.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  Well, that's the thing is that I think a lot of times the thing that you're good at, you have to struggle to love. And when you love something, becoming good at it is easy. It's because you love it. So I think that that's, that's one of the main things that I, my dad used to always say to me that find what you love doing and then figure out how to make that your career. That was his, his best advice to me that he'd ever given me because and it's so many people say very similar things about like, you know, you'll never work a day in your life if you find something you enjoy, things like that. But he really hammered that home for me and, and, um, and that's, I think, what led me to, to acting.

• 9:23Jay Shetty?

  Where did that journey start then, from being a body double to now being in the industry for two decades?

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:28Jay Shetty?

  And like working to improve your art, your skill, that mastery that you're speaking about. Like obviously acting came upon you and it became a thing. But then how did you go through that process of really developing your skills in your art?

• 9:41Speaker 02

  You know, it's, I like to say that I'm an overpaid compulsive liar. And I, I think that acting is all about conveying an emotion and getting someone to believe it. And so for me, I never studied. I just, um, I learned how to fake it for a very long time and because that's all I knew how to do. And then I was on Battlestar Galactica and I wasn't taking it very seriously. And Eddie almost actually pulled me aside and he gave me the lecture of all lectures and said to me that if you actually tried, I think you would actually be really good at it. And I was like, what do you mean? I'm already here. And, and he, he was very serious. He was like, you have an opportunity that so many people wish they had.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  And you've got to take it seriously. And I wasn't, you know, at that point I was 21 years old. And I was just having fun and I realized that you can, you can have fun while still taking responsibility and, and taking something seriously. Um, and, but it was a weird road for me. It was very strange. I, I, um, I did fall sort of right into a job, which was great. But I fought a lot against the norm and what people wanted me to be. They saw me as this little blonde girl and they wanted me to play a very specific role. And I wasn't drawn to those roles. I didn't have the courage to say, no, I don't want to do that. I want to do something else until Battlestar came up.

• 11:14Jay Shetty?

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• 11:57Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favorite podcast. Choose a seller or Northeast Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. The best habits are the ones we hardly notice,

• 12:40Jay Shetty?

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• 13:23Jay Shetty?

  Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  And it was this role that was this tough, you know, take no prisoners, honest woman who wasn't scared of anything. And it's who I wanted to be. I was not that person, but I was so drawn to her as a role model for myself that I was desperate to play her and I wouldn't take no for an answer. And I think I auditioned for it like six or seven times and I just wouldn't go back. Like I just wouldn't quit. I just kept going back. And I don't know how I got it, but you know, by the grace of God, I did. But it was, it was one of those weird things where I never, I never took no for an answer in this business. If somebody told me no, I never took it personally.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  I just went, okay, great, let's move on to the next one. And I didn't have a plan B. I, I didn't think failure was an option and I think that that was just the blissful ignorance of a child. But I, I just didn't think that failure was going to happen. And so I, I pushed through and my parents allowed me to do that. You know, they sort of saw how driven I was and just went, okay, I guess she's going to do this.

• 14:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. So you're saying actually you auditioned six to seven times and so you heard that no that many times.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:44Jay Shetty?

  What do you think it was for you that's helped you push through a no every time you hear it? And I love the way you said that, you know, you didn't take it personally. Tell me about how you were able to. Because I think today, when we hear the word no, we all take it personally. It's very common. And I know a lot of the people listening right now or watching right now will think, well, when I hear no, I just think like, oh, I'm not good enough. Or I don't have what it takes. Like, how did you take that no?

• 15:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, I think one of, one of the best things we can teach our children is that not everybody's going to like you, and that's okay. You know, I, my mom was like, you're not, you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. And that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It just means that, you know, they're a different person. They're going in a different direction. And so when people told me no, I just, it, it, it lit this fire inside of me that wanted to keep going. But I didn't take it personally because I've always thought that acting was art and it's subjective. And I can look at a Picasso and not get it. You know, I mean, and, and so people can have an opinion about me and not get it. And that's okay.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  It has no bearing on my self-worth and, and who I am and what I have to give to the, the industry of, of acting or life in general, you know? And I think that that is, is one of the things that my mom and dad instilled in me from a very young age was, was that, that, you know, who you are is not what you do. And who you are is so much more important than anything else you're ever going to do. You know, my dad said at the end of your life, you don't want to drop the mic and go, oh, that was fun. I lived a great life for myself. You know, he's like, at the end of your life, you, you, you question whether you loved greatly,

• 16:34Speaker 02

  whether people knew that you loved greatly, and that's your contribution. And, and so it was, it never to live for yourself, but to live for others was a big thing. And when you live for others, you don't take it personally if one person says that, you know, you're not good enough.

• 16:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. Your parents sound like incredible people.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  They're incredible people that have screwed up a lot. I think that you learn from mistakes. And my parents never hid those mistakes. They, they made mistakes and went, wow, that was a great mistake. Let's sit down and talk about it. And so that's sort of how I attack it with other people. Whereas like, I make a ton of mistakes. I made five today. But that's the only way you learn. You know, you can learn by watching other people's mistakes, but you can also learn from your own. And I've made some pretty big doozies.

• 17:20Jay Shetty?

  What mistakes did you make today?

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Today, today, let's see.

• 17:24Jay Shetty?

  You said you made five today. You don't have to tell me all five. You don't have to tell me all five.

• 17:28Speaker 02

  I drank way too much coffee today. It's a little mistake today, but no. I do, I make little mistakes every day. But it's how we learn, it's how we grow.

• 17:37Jay Shetty?

  And I loved what you said about failure, that you never accepted failure as possible. And what I'm gaining from that, and I'd love for everyone who's listening and watching right now to recognize this is failure is when you stop trying.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 17:50Jay Shetty?

  Right? And so you kept going, that's why you didn't accept failure. Whereas what we do is we take that event as failure.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:56Jay Shetty?

  When actually failure is when you stop trying. So the fact that you kept pushing meant you were saying, hey, I'm not going to fail.

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 18:03Jay Shetty?

  And whereas when you take that no as a failure, and lots of us do, we take that no as equivalent to failure.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:09Jay Shetty?

  And that feels a lot harder to take. So I love that point you mentioned.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Well, we don't really know what our destiny is and what our journey is until the end of our life. You know, that is the perspective that hindsight gives you. But you don't know what it is until the end. So you don't, you can't possibly know if you failed until you're at the end. So, so why should we say, oh, gosh, this didn't go the way that I wanted, so I failed?

• 18:33Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  You know, it didn't go the way you wanted, so something else is gonna happen.

• 18:37Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  It doesn't mean you failed. It just means this one thing didn't go the way you wanted.

• 18:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  But it'll become very evident as you go along why it didn't work the way you wanted it.

• 18:49Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:50Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, I'm so aligned with you. I actually don't know anything in my life that's happened the way I wanted.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, right, nothing.

• 18:56Jay Shetty?

  I couldn't think of one thing

• 18:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:58Jay Shetty?

  that's happened in my life the way I wanted it to. And so I've often said to people, I'm like, you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagined it.

• 19:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:05Jay Shetty?

  And the journey is just so different from what you imagined.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:08Jay Shetty?

  So just become detached from how you want that journey to look.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:11Jay Shetty?

  Because it's gonna surprise you, or delight you, it'll confuse you. And I feel that you have to be open to that path.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:18Jay Shetty?

  And that's what gets us.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  Well, and that's what adults try and tell us when we're children, right? They try to tell you. This is such a small part of your life, like it doesn't matter. And when you're young, you don't believe that, you know? It's only as you get older, you start to realize that nothing happens the way you want it to happen. And that is the beauty of life. Like, we are in control of our own destiny and we can, we are a series of our choices. But, but the choices you make, you are also on a ride and you don't know where you're gonna be tomorrow. And it's sort of like a choose your own adventure story. You have the choice to go right, but the story's gonna keep going and then you're gonna have to choose again. And, and so you have no idea what's gonna happen. So, failure isn't an option because I don't believe failure exists.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:04Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too. Like, making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state, coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been

• 20:46Jay Shetty?

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• 21:31Jay Shetty?

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• 22:17Jay Shetty?

  Love that. So powerful, incredibly powerful, amazing. You've already, in the few minutes we've been speaking, you've already dropped so many great messages, lessons for our audience. It's amazing. I wanted to talk about this because I believe it must have been one of the most challenging things to go through. And at 27, you went through thyroid cancer.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:33Jay Shetty?

  Right, which is, I can't fathom how tough that is and how much it affects so much of you. Walk us through that experience of finding out and how that started to affect, because you already had Battlestar Galactica, you'd already had that breakthrough, et cetera. Tell me about how that affected everything from your mind, your body, your career, and how you started to push through.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  When I got thyroid cancer, it was, I knew something was wrong with me. And I just couldn't put my finger on it. And I kept going to the doctor and I kept, you know, saying, no, there's something wrong, there's something wrong.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  They attributed everything to my lack of sleep and that I worked too hard and all of these things. And then they eventually found out that it was thyroid cancer. And I call it my baby cancer because there, I knew from the very beginning that there is a very small, very small, minute chance that it could be life threatening. I did know that. But what I didn't realize, I guess at that time, was how life changing it would be. It was the first time in my life where I felt completely out of control. I was scared, I was depressed, I was, I was terrified, actually. Because it felt.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  I was all of a sudden reminded of how fragile life was. And so I went through this time and I had this deal with, with my, my boyfriend at the time, my ex, who's still a very good friend of mine, that I gave myself 10 minutes a day to feel very, very sorry for myself and to cry and to scream and to yell and do whatever I wanted to do. And then I wouldn't do it again for the rest of the day. And that became a very, very important thing because I think that we can feel sorry for ourselves sometimes and we lose perspective in that sorrow of how lucky we still are

• 24:31Speaker 02

  with the thing that is considered our shit, excuse me. But what I did was I realized like how lucky I was in that moment. And so we came up with this thing called the three things. And my three things is that in any situation in your life where you find yourself angry or frustrated or sad or anything, come up with three ways, little ways, they don't need to be massive, three things that could make this situation much worse. And it can be very, if you're in traffic and you're going to be late for a meeting and this thing's, it feels like the worst thing that could be happening at this moment in your life. Come up with three things that can make it worse. You could have a flat tire right now. It could be raining and you could have a migraine headache. Three things,

• 25:13Speaker 02

  three little things that could make this one moment so much worse. And all of a sudden you're, you feel lucky and blessed that it's only that you're sitting in traffic. And you can do that with so many big things in your life, so many little things. But I find that if you sit back and it gives you perspective. And I learned that because I call it my baby cancer because I reminded myself constantly that it could be so much worse. And so it allowed me to feel grateful that it was only just that. But it changed my life. I'm on medication for the rest of my life. I, I still have three tumors in my body that they have chosen just to watch and one's in my head and two are in my throat

• 25:57Speaker 02

  still. And those are life changing. Every six months I have to go to the doctor and have what's called a contrast MRI.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  And so the tumor in the pituitary gland, which is a little gland that sits like in between your eyes, like above your nose, like right in front of your brain, it it produces a hormone called prolactin. And prolactin is the hormone you produce when you're pregnant. And so because I have a tumor there, it has made it very, very difficult to have children. And then the thyroid's taken out. So that's another reason. And so all of these things that I didn't think about when I was 27, that you think are just givens, were were changed so much by just that diagnosis of thyroid cancer. But

• 26:45Speaker 02

  it made me so happy that I'm still alive. And at 27, which seems late, so many people are faced with this so much younger and in so much more of of a life changing way. But I realized at 27 that every single day we get is a gift. And I I became in that moment, not afraid to age. Aging is a gift. I at that moment, not afraid of what people thought about my body, not afraid of all these things that had that had plagued me in my career for so long. At that moment, I was like, I am going to live the rest of my life with complete utter true honesty to myself, everyone around me, because I'm

• 27:30Speaker 02

  so lucky I'm here. And so it gave me that. That was such a beautiful gift. Talking about not knowing what's gonna happen in life, like, I wouldn't have chosen that. But it became the thing that that formed who I am now.

• 27:43Jay Shetty?

  Wow, that's amazing. I love that because it sounds like when I'm listening to you, you've taken this and you said in your own words, a gift. And you've let it be such a driving force in your mindset towards life.

• 27:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:57Jay Shetty?

  Rather than seeing it as a as an issue or something negative.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:01Jay Shetty?

  You've really transformed it.

• 28:02Speaker 02

  It's it's, yes, I think so. I it just I I see, it's so easy to get caught up in our own lives. I still do it. But if we stop long enough and find that perspective of how blessed we are to just have a roof over our head, so many people don't, you know, I think that that is the thing that I focus on the most in my life and in my practices and in my meditation is just how blessed I am to just be here. And so, but that was thyroid cancer. Thyroid cancer was a doozy. Life changing.

• 28:36Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Yeah, of course. And do you find that that 10 minutes you'd set aside to kind of vent, cry, to drop, well, tell me about that process. Like, did that work? Was that a useful habit and practice during that time?

• 28:48Speaker 02

  It was really useful. And I actually found that I usually didn't go 10 minutes, you know, and if I, I would, it usually was crying and it was usually screaming into a pillow and I would yell a lot. I'd call my mom and I would get very down on myself and, but it usually wouldn't last more than 10 minutes. It usually, I usually got sick of hearing myself complain. And, and then if, if outside of that 10 minutes, I came up with something that bothered me, I would remember it for tomorrow and then I would forget it.

• 29:18Jay Shetty?

  That's amazing.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  Because it's, it, every argument and every complaint and everything that seemed so big in that moment, the next day wasn't, it was trivial.

• 29:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  And, and so the 10 minute thing, I still, if anything big comes up and I, I, I think everyone should try it. If you're having a bad day, give yourself 10 minutes today to just go for it. Whatever you want to do. If you want to go hit a punching bag, hit a punching bag. If you want to cry, cry. Scream, scream. Do whatever you want, but get it out of your system in 10 minutes. Go to your car. Your car's the best place to do it because no one can hear you.

• 29:54Jay Shetty?

  Just don't drive like that.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  No, don't do it while you're driving.

• 29:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Exactly. It's such a great place because you can scream so loud.

• 30:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  And sometimes what I found was when I was screaming so loud, I actually would start laughing because the sheer absurdity of it, just screaming at the top of your lungs. We don't do that enough as, as adults. We don't scream. You know, as children, we scream so much when we're upset. And as adults, we learn to keep it all in. So it's, it's sometimes I Found that 10 minutes is really great.

• 30:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I agree. And I think we forget that, that when you, that's such a beautiful way of looking at it. That when we were children, we would just let it all out, get it all out. But when we become adults, we hold it in. And when you're holding it in, all it's doing is brewing.

• 30:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:35Jay Shetty?

  Right? It's not, it needs to go somewhere.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:37Jay Shetty?

  So it's either causing a block physically or mentally for the future. And so I love that.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Could you imagine adults on the ground having a temper tantrum?

• 30:45Jay Shetty?

  I know.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Like kicking and screaming? It would probably actually be really great. It would just, I mean, maybe in the privacy of your own home. Like, don't drop down on the street in Manhattan and start screaming.

• 30:54Jay Shetty?

  Or in your car, as you said, I like that because it's soundproof. But I often say that to people, when you repeat your complaints out to yourself.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:02Jay Shetty?

  You start to laugh at them.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:03Jay Shetty?

  Or you start to recognize them with perspective, even if you don't laugh at them.

• 31:07Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:07Jay Shetty?

  So often I have coaching clients or people that I work with either write out their pain and their trouble and then read it out to themselves. And so often on the second or third reading, they're like, I can't believe I'm complaining about this.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:19Jay Shetty?

  Or I have people record it on a voice note and play it to themselves.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:23Jay Shetty?

  And then you hear it as if someone else is saying it.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:26Jay Shetty?

  And, and you know, whenever we hear other people's challenges, they sound bad, but ours always sound so much worse.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  They do.

• 31:31Jay Shetty?

  But when you hear your own from the perspective of someone else sharing them with you, again, they get put into perspective and you're like, oh, actually it's, you know, I know what we can do about this, you know? And you start approaching it as an observer.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:42Jay Shetty?

  As opposed to a feeling like you're the victim.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Well, it's a great thing to do for body image, too.

• 31:47Jay Shetty?

  Go on.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  I learned this. Body image for me has always been very hard. You know, I was told from, from the moment I came to California to be an actress that I was too big. I was called chubby. I was called the big girl. I was called everything.

• 32:01Jay Shetty?

  That's crazy.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  I was just, they called me the big girl from the show with Richard Dreyfuss. Like, I was called all of these things that were used to explain who I was, that were just physical. And, and also so mean, like, number one, you're, you're insinuating that.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  If I was the big girl, that something would be wrong with me. But then you're also using that to describe who I am as a person, which was so heartbreaking. And so I had a therapist one time say to me that the next time you're going to say, "God, I'm ugly," or "God, I'm fat," or whatever it is, to actually do it in the mirror. And so I started doing this many years ago, where if I had a day where I was like, "God, you know, my ass looks terrible," I would say it in the mirror. And you laugh because you realize you would never say that to your worst enemy's face. Why are you saying it to yourself? You know, you are like, you are the one person you have to spend the rest of your life with. Why are you being so cruel? And, and so that to me was so important. So even now, when I'm like, have, you know, anything that I want to say negative about myself,

• 33:02Speaker 02

  I walk to a mirror and I say it to my face. And you just go, "God, I would never say this to someone." Don't say it to yourself.

• 33:08Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:09Jay Shetty?

  And what have you started saying to yourself in addition or substitution? Or is that what it is? When you hear something negative, you go to the mirror, you say it to yourself, and then you laugh at it because, yeah, just you would, like you said, you would never say it to, even something you don't like.

• 33:21Speaker 02

  No, could you imagine?

• 33:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, you would never say that to anyone. You know, the thing that I started doing was if I found something where I wanted to say, my three things rule, I guess I just put this with everything in my life. Everything's in threes, I guess. But, but it's, it's point out something you love about yourself. Point out three things that you love about yourself. Like, it could be as simple as like, you know, "Oh, I love my cheekbone." Or "I love," you know, "I have great hands." Or whatever they are, just give yourself a compliment, you know? Like, we can, we can always find something in ourselves that, that we appreciate.

• 33:53Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. I always say to people, I'm like, "You're not, you would never say that to your younger brother or younger sister."

• 33:57Speaker 02

  No.

• 33:57Jay Shetty?

  Like, you would never go up to them. You would never go up to anyone in your family, anyone you know, and say that. And if they said that about themselves, you'd say, "No, that's not true."

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 34:05Jay Shetty?

  "You need to work on this, or maybe we should try this." But you wouldn't say, "Yeah, sure, that's exactly what you are."

• 34:10Speaker 02

  No.

• 34:10Jay Shetty?

  Because again, like what you said earlier, that doesn't define who that person is.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  No.

• 34:15Jay Shetty?

  And, and it's something that's always in flux. And you said also thyroid cancer changed your relationship with food.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  It did.

• 34:20Jay Shetty?

  Right, in a big way.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  It did, very much so. So I, you know, I used to binge eat as, as a young adult constantly. It was one of those things that I think the industry brought it out in me. I also think I probably had a bit of this when I was a child, but I would go and I'd sneak food. I wouldn't work, I wouldn't eat all day long and then I would go and I would just eat a ton of food. And then I would go to the gym for hours the next day to counteract what I had just eaten. And it was just this vicious cycle where I had to, when I had the thyroid cancer, I had to sit down and figure out what healthy meant to me, which, which was very different than for somebody else, but what it meant to me and, and my relationship with food.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  And I had to slow down and actually start to question what, what I was hiding. And that's when I started going to therapy a lot was, was when I was actually hiding this sort of, in relation to the thyroid, I had this survivor's guilt almost that my cancer, I felt so guilty that mine was such a small cancer because I would still have to go to the, the doctor's office and see patients that, that had these terrible forms of cancer that they were really, really fighting through. And I always walked in there and felt so guilty.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  And I, I had to work through that and, and that was not easy. It took many years to sort of let go of that. There was shame in it too. I felt so bad and, and didn't know how to articulate that.

• 36:01Jay Shetty?

  Tell us about that process of giving up guilt and shame because I think in so many different ways, we all experienced that. It may not be in the same way as you did, but I think guilt and shame are those types of feelings that actually never get let out. It's the ones we hold on to the most.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  Well, because we think are ugly.

• 36:14Jay Shetty?

  Totally. Exactly. They're, they're just the hardest to explain to someone.

• 36:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:18Jay Shetty?

  And express to someone and expect empathy back.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 36:21Jay Shetty?

  Tell us a bit about how you kind of broke those down and, and dissolved them in your life.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  For me, it was forgiving myself and having compassion for myself. You know, I didn't have any control over what other people were going through. I only had control over myself and, and how it, it affected me on the inside. And I had to forgive myself for, for

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Taking life for granted ahead of time. I felt like I was taking my life for granted in that moment and I forgave myself all of that. But that was just, it was just having compassion for myself and realizing you may not have an answer for this. You may not be able to deal with that guilt. You may not, that may not be something you can figure out, but that's okay. And it has no bearing on who you are as how, if you're a good person or not. Like that was, I kept thinking, God, I can't be a good person if I feel shame and I feel guilt and there's nothing I can do about it. And that was the biggest thing is that we practiced so many of these beautiful, loving techniques towards strangers and other people and our,

• 37:30Speaker 02

  you know, like you said, our younger siblings and things like that. But we are, we never do that for ourselves. And I think that if we, if we did that, and so for me, it really had to be about learning how to love myself and learning that I had no control over anything around me, only that.

• 37:52Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  And not my health. For a lot of, you know, I didn't have control over that part of my health at that point. I just had to, to love myself. And then I tried to, every time I would go to get treatment, I would look around me and I would try and send as much positive energy as I could to people. And that's what led me then to meditation and a form of, I believe it's called Tonglen, when you actually, you breathe in a negative and you breathe out a positive. And, and so I tried to do that a lot while I was in there. And then I've, the only thing I could do for those people is live my life. So to the

• 38:38Speaker 02

  best of my ability. And that's, that's what the therapist taught me.

• 38:43Jay Shetty?

  That's awesome. I love that. That's so powerful, especially that point you were making about this distinction of what we're experiencing, whether it's guilt or shame, or ego or pride, or anger or envy. I always tell people it's like wearing a bad outfit.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:58Jay Shetty?

  Like, we're just putting on all these layers, but we're not that layer. Like, just like we're not our clothes, we're not our envy, we're not our guilt, we're not our shame. And as soon as you realize it's not you and you can actually take it off.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:10Jay Shetty?

  And, and put it away.

• 39:11Speaker 02

  Right.

• 39:11Jay Shetty?

  Right? You start recognizing that actually it's just about taking off these layers. And, and I'm not that guilt. Others, we just feel like, oh, I'm so guilty, or I'm so embarrassed, or we keep saying I am to stuff that we're not.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:23Jay Shetty?

  And then we get lost in that belief system.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 39:26Jay Shetty?

  That I am this emotion.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, I, I, that was one of the main things is that I had to just let it go. Um, and I had to write down a lot of the things that I felt guilty about and I felt shame about. Um, and in order to sort of let it go and realize that it didn't define me. And then I became more honest about it as well. And I started talking more about, um, if I make a mistake and I realize it, I will immediately try and say, oh, my God, what did I just do? And I find that, that, you know, people are much more receptive to the mistakes that you make if you identify that, oh, crap, I just did that.

• 40:02Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Yeah. And I, and I love how that brings us to, one of these things that I absolutely love about you is how you're so vulnerable and open on social media. And you're just able to share who you truly are through your page. You're able to share all the medical challenges that you have, physical challenges that you have. Just reality too, not even a challenge, just as it is. And I love the fact that you're using your platform to speak about these messages. Tell me about what you were sharing earlier when we were just speaking.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:29Jay Shetty?

  And you talked about the word responsibility.

• 40:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:31Jay Shetty?

  I'd love for you to expand on your belief around why you think you have a responsibility around this.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. It, when I was on the show here in New York, my, I was on a show with Richard Dreyfuss and I was 20 years old. And I had pink hair and people recognized me everywhere I went just because of this pink hair. And it was right after nine 11 and this woman, I was eating with my family and this woman. Got very angry at me because I didn't have a pen to give her an autograph. And it was a very weird surreal moment for me. But what she said to me as she was leaving was she said that you have a responsibility. You gave up your right to privacy because you chose this. And that to me at the time felt like, how dare you say that to me? Of course I have a right to privacy. Everybody does.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  But there was a, it stuck with me for so many years because she was right. You know, I chose this. I chose this life. There have been moments in my career where I sensed a shift where I could tell that, that I was becoming more recognizable and I kept going. So I could have stopped, but I didn't, you know? And so therefore, because of the platform I have, I do have a responsibility for the, the things that I put out there into the world because it's, it has the ability to reach so many people. And that to me, I take very seriously. Life to me is all about connection and, and what a great opportunity I have to connect

• 42:03Speaker 02

  with all of these people that may have followed me because they watched a show that I did. But we can connect on something that is so much more important. And, and I want them to know who I am and to see me at my worst. I don't want them to have to sift through my highlight reel of my life. You know, I want them to see the, the days where I don't have makeup on or the days that I have a headache or the days where I feel insecure about myself or the days where I'm depressed or I'm sad or I'm healing from a broken heart or I'm doing, I want them to see those things because it gives them a voice by me using my voice.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  Because so many people feel like they, they don't matter or they don't belong to a community. And, and, and so I really, I have a career because of these people. And so if they want to be a part of my life and if they want to, to learn from my mistakes, by God, I'm going to give them that, you know? Because I, I don't know. It just, there's something very. Spiritual to me that when I connect with someone on something that's so much deeper

• 43:24Speaker 02

  and so much more important than everything else, you know, I mean, these people come to me, they send me direct messages about so many things that we're all struggling with. And for some reason, they have felt comfortable to express this with me. And that is an honor that somebody would let me see a piece of them that that they're scared to show other people. And so I want them to see that part of me.

• 43:56Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about some of the examples that you've seen of messages you think are most important for you to share right now.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:04Jay Shetty?

  You mentioned a few there, but tell us about some of the bigger themes and also just about some of the things people open up to you about and what your responses are and how you've been kind of nurturing that community too.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  The thing that most, most people come to me about is so many women are struggling with body image. So many women are struggling with that. They're struggling with self-love. They are struggling with mental health. And I'm not an expert on these things, you know, all I have is the experiences that I have gone through in my life. And then I also have the ability to potentially go seek more answers for them because I have the ability to find these people and they're at my fingertips. But, but that body image thing was, that's

• 44:52Speaker 02

  one that, you know, because I've played these characters that are synonymous with strength and self-love and sort of like, you know, people think that that is me.

• 45:05Jay Shetty?

  Which it is.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  It is.

• 45:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  But I learned how to be me by playing these women.

• 45:11Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  You know, I was not the girl that said whatever she wanted when I was 21 years old.

• 45:16Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  I learned how to do that by these women and these words that were given to me by people that are, that were so much more evolved than me at the time and, and still are. But I, I. That's who they were for me. And so that's these characters. I don't know. So people come to me with that. That is one that just destroys me. It is one of the hardest things to see girls and boys and women struggling with with this body image that is so pushed upon us by an industry that is selling perfection. And perfection doesn't, it doesn't exist.

• 45:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  You know, it doesn't exist.

• 46:01Jay Shetty?

  Or it doesn't exist the way we think of it.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  No, no. And there's no one like you in the world.

• 46:08Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Like, that already is so special.

• 46:11Jay Shetty?

  Hundred percent.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  I said this to someone that reached out to me the other day. There is nobody like you in the world. You are the only person out there that is you. And she said, well, what if you're a twin? And I was like, still, your DNA is changing every single second.

• 46:27Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  Like, even if you're an identical twin, your DNA is, your cells are different because they're constantly shifting. So there's nobody like you. Like, that is the most special gift that you could possibly be given, that you're a one of a kind. So there's no body that's perfect. There's no body that's better than yours. There is just the one that you have. And that, that is, that's important. That's, and I say that because I still struggle with that. These are things that I say to myself every day. So when I say them to myself, I then go say them to them.

• 47:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  Because it, it seems I'm inspired to do so at that moment, you know?

• 47:06Jay Shetty?

  Yes, absolutely. And I think we all are in charge of what we believe we're aspiring for.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:11Jay Shetty?

  Like, we have a responsibility to ourselves for what we are holding up as perfection.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:17Jay Shetty?

  Like, what is that picture? We're deciding that.

• 47:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:20Jay Shetty?

  And whether you've consciously built that, or it's been unconsciously built by your background, experience, parenting, education, whatever you've been exposed to, it's so important that we reconstruct that.

• 47:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:31Jay Shetty?

  For ourselves. Because I find like, that picture, if that's not removed, and if that's not deconstructed and reconstructed and redefined based on what you really value and believe in.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:42Jay Shetty?

  Then you're still not going to have another version, because we all need something to aspire for.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:47Jay Shetty?

  We all do.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:48Jay Shetty?

  And that usually should just be a more aligned version of ourselves.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  Right, yeah.

• 47:54Jay Shetty?

  But we make it this external. Picture, face, body, job, role, criteria.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Right.

• 48:02Jay Shetty?

  And if you don't deconstruct it, I think that requires some time is that you have to spend some time to deconstruct the picture of perfection you currently have and reconstruct a new one.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  Because you're right, what you said, that was not defined by you.

• 48:15Jay Shetty?

  More often than not, it's not defined by us.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  No, you know, we are, we are raised a certain way with a certain set of values and a certain set of ideals by everyone around us that isn't us, you know, and by the moment that, you know, you get to a certain point in your life where you realize that you are now responsible for your own well-being and who you want to be was not defined by you.

• 48:36Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  And that is, is a really interesting thing to sort of focus on, that you then have to go back and almost like, you know, print out like a collage of what you want your life to be like, based on, you know, who you are at that moment.

• 48:52Jay Shetty?

  Exactly. I grew up, I grew up overweight when I was younger and to my Indian family, that was considered healthy.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Right.

• 49:00Jay Shetty?

  And then when I lost weight, and then I'd go back to my Indian family, they'd say, oh my God, you, you look like completely malnourished and you haven't eaten. And because that's the value of body image in that community.

• 49:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:14Jay Shetty?

  Certain time, and this is what I mean by just, everyone's going to have their own definition of what beauty is, what perfection is. And if you've let all those definitions become yours, then now you're living for subjective definitions of other people.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 49:27Jay Shetty?

  So no, I, I think that's such a valuable point that you've raised. And I'm so glad that you're not only using your platform, but we were speaking a bit about earlier, and please share whatever you can, just how you really believe it's your responsibility to shift the way things are done, even in the industry, which, which gets me really excited because I just feel like powerful influence, like, you know, you're one of the most five iconic people in the whole sci-fi space, which is so exciting and cool. And I'm just like, when you see icons shifting the way they do things that have been done the same way for decades, that's when I believe things start to shift.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 50:00Jay Shetty?

  It's like when a CEO says, I'm now sleeping eight hours a day, right? Like that makes a shift.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  And how simple that is, it's such a state.

• 50:06Jay Shetty?

  It's such a simple thing. Like, we're like, oh, what?

• 50:08Speaker 02

  Like, oh, right. Oh, yeah. I mean, okay.

• 50:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but we're hoping that people do things and say things like that because then their teams do.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:16Jay Shetty?

  And then when we see actresses and icons like yourself will come out and be like, well, actually, I want to use this platform for a voice, not just for the art.

• 50:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 50:25Jay Shetty?

  And tell me about how you've been using that in some of your activism work that you've been doing.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Well, I realized that I couldn't change the industry. The thing that I had control over was that I could add to it. And so, you know, like For Another Life, we're, you know, having a premiere party. Of course, everyone knows what a premiere party is. But why not add a philanthropic arm to it? Why not give back at the same time? Because we know they're going to want to do this. So why not just add something to it that makes a difference? And so that's sort of what I've been trying to do is that just not change, add to, and shift. And so that's sort of, I think that we do have a responsibility to sort of like just,

• 51:12Speaker 02

  just change ourselves and then others will change with us.

• 51:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I think that's such a brilliant, for everyone who's listening or watching, there are so many gems in this conversation right now coming from Katie there. They're incredible. And this one's really powerful that I think we waste a lot of energy trying to change stuff.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 51:28Jay Shetty?

  And don't realize that we can just add another layer. So often people would say to me like, Jay, don't you want to change the education system? And I was just like, no, I'm just going to create an alternative education system.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  Because that is such a hefty goal. Changing something seems so impossible.

• 51:42Jay Shetty?

  Totally, and you can literally lose all your energy, get completely drained, trying to change this big piece, don't have any remit over. Or maybe you're not even qualified to, like, I don't feel qualified to change the education system as a whole. Like, I don't, I don't think so. But I do know that there are parts of it that I can add and enhance.

• 52:01Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 52:02Jay Shetty?

  And I think that's the beauty. It also liberates you of this crazy pressure we put on ourselves. Like, I'm going to change Hollywood, or I'm going to change the education world, or I'm going to change the industry, or I'm going to change technology. And it's like, that's such a heavy burden.

• 52:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:15Jay Shetty?

  And you feel liberated when you're like, actually, this is the part that I really believe I want to impact. And I'm going to start here.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  Well, I think that so many people think so grand, which is a beautiful thing. But they think in such massive ideas. And you're right, if you, I can't change the entertainment industry, but I can add to it. You know, there is a piece that I can, there's a crumb that I can leave behind.

• 52:41Jay Shetty?

  And that is changing.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  That is changing it. And that is, that is, you know, I think if we think smaller sometimes, that it becomes much more manageable and less pressure.

• 52:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. I love what you said earlier about how the roles you've played have actually inspired your strength. And I loved that earlier and I picked up on it then, I didn't say it, I'm saying it now is just how you were saying that you were so committed to getting this role because you were so excited to play this role, right? And I wanted to find out, so now in Netflix's new show, Another Life,

• 53:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:16Jay Shetty?

  which is very exciting, what is that role inspiring in you as a person in your own life?

• 53:23Speaker 02

  Oh, my gosh. This woman is, you know, with

• 53:26Jay Shetty?

  Tell us about the character.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, the character is, so now I've, you know, I'm older now, so now I'm sort of, I started in this industry as the youngest person on a movie set. Now I'm the oldest, which is amazing. I think it's such a beautiful thing. But it's, this woman is the commander of a ship. And she's been given a very young crew to go out and save the world, basically. And she's given a young crew because they're disposable. And it is a very, very fun role for me, but it's heavy. It's very heavy, you know, she is the leader of the crew. And I, I took that responsibility very seriously because I, on Longmire,

• 54:13Speaker 02

  Robert Taylor was a phenomenal number one, the lead of the show. He was a phenomenal leader because he showed up every single day. He did his job. He was happy. The crew loved him. And that was such a great role model for me. And so I took, put a lot of pressure on myself, probably too much pressure, actually, thinking back on it now. But I put a lot of pressure on myself to be a role model for some of these younger actors, who, a lot of them, this is their first big role. And, and I wanted them to sort of learn how to be in the industry and how to be on set. And, and, you know, what things not to do, what things to do.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  And so I, you know, it's one of my biggest pet peeves in this industry, that they let actors cut in front of the crew in the lunch line. It to me is completely rude and and I don't think that it is it is responsible as an actor who who is, you know, probably not as tired as the crew member who's been working just as hard, if not harder than you, and doesn't get to go back to a cushy little trailer and have their lunch, you know, so why don't you let him go first so he can eat his lunch and then like go, you know, have some time, little things like that that I wanted. It was it's a gift to be able to sort of like impart that to younger people because things that matter to me and because a lot of people do what they're

• 55:40Speaker 02

  told they can do. And so it's a fun role. So so the way that I'm acting on set as Katie is very similar to my character Nico, which is the commander and she's sort of teaching them how to be astronauts.

• 55:54Jay Shetty?

  That's awesome. And how have they taken to it?

• 55:57Speaker 02

  Some of them better than others. No, I mean, it's it's really well. I mean, this is a it's a fun show. It's a really great cast and and we were really lucky to there's some some beautiful diamonds on this show that are we're lucky to have.

• 56:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's awesome. No, I love that. And I think those are the experiences that you value, maybe not even in that moment, but many years along. I know whenever I've been mentored or coached by someone, even when I first met them and I didn't really want them to do that for me.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:31Jay Shetty?

  And then in 10, 15, 20 years, I look back and I'm like, I'm really glad they taught me that, you know, and it's I think that's the beauty of anyone who's a teacher, a coach, a mentor, or in any sense, like in any field, you're showing that in any field, our example

• 56:46Speaker 02

  Right.

• 56:46Jay Shetty?

  is contagious and will spread.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:48Jay Shetty?

  Right? You're not their coach or their guide, but it's spreading. And I just really feel that when you're playing that role in any sort of way, our responsibility is to facilitate growth and give opportunity, but not expect it.

• 57:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:02Jay Shetty?

  Because that person may take 5, 10, 15, 20 years to actually realize how powerful a lesson that was.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  It was no, I was just gonna say it's, you know, we it was a role that I'd never had of being this sort of like mentor and in a way. And I didn't do it right in every way. And, you know, I had, you know, my boyfriend looked at me at one point and he said, you know, you need to understand that sometimes when you're listening to someone and you then impart wisdom on them. Based on an experience that you had very similar, what you're saying to them is that I did it. I was fine. You're fine. And you're not validating how they feel in this moment. And he said, you need, you need to stop doing that. And it was really, it was great advice, but it was really hard. I got sort of frustrated. I walked away for five minutes. I was like, is this gonna be a fight?

• 57:52Speaker 02

  And I walked away for like five minutes and then came back and I was like, you are so right. Thank you so much for telling me that because I, I did that part of this very wrong. And God, you know, God forbid that, you know, I've made someone feel like what they're experiencing and feeling isn't valid. Or that it's not important because I did it. That's, that was, that was a good lesson. That was a very good lesson for me to learn. Not to hear, but to learn.

• 58:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, awesome. Lessons are never fun to hear.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 58:23Jay Shetty?

  But to learn. I love that. That's awesome. Well, Katie, this has been such a fun conversation for me. I feel like everyone who's listening and watching, genuinely, if you've been listening attentively like I have, I've learned so much from you today.

• 58:36Speaker 02

  I feel like I talked too much.

• 58:38Jay Shetty?

  No, not at all. Not at all. Keep talking.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Remember when you said that I had made mistakes? I drank too much coffee?

• 58:43Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  This is what happened.

• 58:44Jay Shetty?

  No, you didn't talk too much. This is amazing. Like the amount of principles and amount of practices that you've given us, I think are going to be so valuable for everyone listening. So was there anything that I didn't ask you that you wish I did?

• 58:55Speaker 02

  No.

• 58:56Jay Shetty?

  What this opportunity is for. If there's anything that you're like, Jay, I really want to address this or talk about this, please, this is free. You know, no quickfire round anymore. Like this is, I want to give you that opportunity. Is there anything that we didn't touch on that you really want to share?

• 59:07Speaker 02

  We didn't, you know, I'm, I, the one thing we didn't touch on is that I'm starting a YouTube channel.

• 59:13Jay Shetty?

  Yes, let's talk about that. Yeah, let's talk about that, please.

• 59:16Speaker 02

  For me, Instagram, I do find that there's so much there and so much of sifting through to find the content that, that touches on a deeper level. And I wanted to, to reach more of my, the fans that are reaching out to me, but on like a, a longer platform. Instagram seemed a little.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  It didn't seem intimate enough for me. And it didn't seem like the right place to talk about some of the things that I want to talk about with people and show what motivates me, what inspires me, what scares me and do it in a fun way. And so that is new for me. I'm really excited for people to see more of that aspect of my life and sort of go along that journey with me.

• 1:00:04Jay Shetty?

  And what kind of format can we expect? Is it like following you around? Is it insights? Is it any sci-fi twist? Where's that?

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  There might be. There might be. We're going to break it down into seasons, actually. So we can actually do different seasons with different themes and talk about even more different things. But for the most part, it's sort of like, I wanted it to be the anti-Hollywood and I wanted it to be wellness and lifestyle and what motivates me and, you know, what I said, what scares me and things that move me and wrapped up in a fun little box, you know, it's stress relieving techniques, which, you know, but under the guise of baby goat yoga, you know, but like things like that that are fun to watch. Because I think that sometimes when something is fun to watch and it's palatable, it's much easier to change somebody's perception of something.

• 1:00:55Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  The name of the company is actually Blood Sweat and Coffee. That's the name of the channel. It's sort of a metaphor for everything.

• 1:01:01Jay Shetty?

  Go subscribe. We end every interview with a final five, which is a rapid fire, quick fire round.

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:01:06Jay Shetty?

  So this is where you can't talk too much. You're not allowed. I may, I may, I may digress at points or go off on a tangent.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  I'll be as fast as I can. I promise. I promise I won't talk too much.

• 1:01:17Jay Shetty?

  The number one question is, what's your dream role? Or what would have been your dream role? Past, present, anything? It could be anything.

• 1:01:24Speaker 02

  I always say my dream role is the one I have right now.

• 1:01:26Jay Shetty?

  Love it. Amazing. Beautiful answer. Question two, what's the one thing you never leave your house without?

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  Oh my god, I don't know if there's anything. Um, it's usually poop bags.

• 1:01:39Jay Shetty?

  Oh.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  I know, I always have a doggy poop bag in my pocket.

• 1:01:43Jay Shetty?

  Nice.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  Whether I mean to or not.

• 1:01:45Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. Uh, number three, if you had to describe your new show in one word or one sentence, what would it be?

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  It's a wild ride. It's very fast.

• 1:01:55Jay Shetty?

  Okay. Uh, what's one thing that, one practice that you have on a daily basis that you don't think people know about that you'd want them to know about? A daily habit, a daily practice, uh, meditation?

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  Um, I meditate every day. Um, and then I, I talk about, I do have a gratitude list, which is becoming very mainstream, which I love. Um, and then I pick one thing that day that I need to work on.

• 1:02:19Jay Shetty?

  Nice. I love that. Uh, number five, if you could have dinner with one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  My grandmother. I really miss her strawberry rhubarb pie.

• 1:02:30Jay Shetty?

  Oh.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  And no one wrote it down. She was a really great woman. No one wrote it down. It was just all in her head.

• 1:02:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:36Jay Shetty?

  Wow, thank you. Katie, thank you so much for doing this.

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:02:40Jay Shetty?

  I'm so grateful to have you on. Honestly, you shared some amazing insights today and I can't wait for everyone to hear this episode.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  For having me. I feel like this is the first time anyone's ever asked me any of these like questions. I love that.

• 1:02:53Jay Shetty?

  Please go follow Katie on Instagram too, though, because I do feel like it, for anyone who doesn't know you already, they can find out so much about you, which I think will be such an incredible way. And of course, go and check out Another Life on Netflix as well, releasing.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  Oh, Netflix won't let me tell anyone, so they do things very different over there.

• 1:03:11Jay Shetty?

  Look out for, and, okay, look out for Another Life on Netflix this summer. Katie, you're amazing.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 1:03:18Jay Shetty?

  I absolutely loved meeting you today as well.

• 1:03:20Speaker 02

  It was lovely.

• 1:03:21Jay Shetty?

  And I hope we're gonna stay in touch.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  I can't wait to take more of your courses.

• 1:03:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. I can't wait to learn more from you too. I'm, I'm gonna be a subscriber for the YouTube channel for sure. So we'll do more for the YouTube channel when it comes out too.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  It'll be, it'll be a really good time. It'll be really fun.

• 1:03:34Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much, Katie. Make sure you go check her out. Thank you so much for listening and watching today to On Purpose. Remember, there were so many great. Insights from Katie in this episode. Go ahead, share them on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter. Tag both of us in there. We would love to see what you took away, what you learned. And as always, I'll be sharing and posting some of the best ones that I do see. Thank you again for being a part of this community. We're so grateful to you, so grateful to Katie for today. And keep tuned in, there is so much more to come. Thank you.

• 1:04:09Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for listening through to the end of that episode. I hope you're gonna share this all across social media. Let people know that you're subscribed to On Purpose. Let me know, post it. Tell me what a difference it's making in your life. I would love to see your thoughts. I can't wait for this incredibly conscious community we're creating of purposeful people. You're now a part of the tribe, a part of the squad. Thank you for being here. I can't wait to share the next episode with you.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

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• 1:05:53Speaker 05

  Mr. President, my company foreme of the explosion on our rig.

• 1:05:57Speaker 06

  On October 2nd.

• 1:05:58Jay Shetty?

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami.

• 1:06:01Speaker 05

  They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:06:03Speaker 06

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:06:10Speaker 05

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You starve, you freeze to death, that's what...

• 1:06:14Speaker 06

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:06:17Speaker 05

  I'm not the first daddy.

• 1:06:19Speaker 06

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.