Gary Vee ON: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think of You

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. On this special episode of On Purpose, I got to sit down with my good friend Gary Vee. Gary is an investor, a serial entrepreneur and a 5 time New York Times bestselling author. We got to talk in depth about how to stop caring what people think about you, why you should focus on happiness not hustle and why you need to contextualize advice before you decide to listen to it. There are so many teachable moments in this episode and I know you will learn so much! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells,

• 1:30Jay Shetty?

  Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1

• 2:59Jay Shetty?

  Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  All I've been thinking about for the first 10 minutes and all I'll think about for the rest of this talk is, can I bring one person value that helps Karen who's listening to this right now on her treadmill, like actually do something?

• 3:25Jay Shetty?

  Hello, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. I'm so grateful that you're a part of this community. I'm so grateful that you keep committing to your growth, your development, and your learning. And I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so, so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eightrulesoflove.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book.

• 4:08Jay Shetty?

  And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour, Love Rules. Go to jschettytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you this year. And today's guest doesn't really need an introduction. I know that you're all aware, watching his content everywhere from Facebook to Instagram to YouTube and many other platforms. LinkedIn included. But today, I love the fact that we're not watching a keynote. We're not watching a Q and A. We're not watching a one minute or three minute IGTV clip. We're getting a moment to dive in on purpose with the one and only Gary Vee. Serial entrepreneur, investor, five times New York Times bestselling author,

• 4:51Jay Shetty?

  and the founder of VaynerMedia and VaynerX. Gary, thank you for being here, man.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  Thank you, brother.

• 4:55Jay Shetty?

  Well, actually, I'm in your office, so.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  It's all family.

• 4:58Jay Shetty?

  I appreciate it, man. Thank you so much for doing this.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me.

• 5:00Jay Shetty?

  No, thank you so much.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  I'm graced on everything on this.

• 5:02Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, man.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Really well.

• 5:03Jay Shetty?

  Thank you. I've really been looking forward to this.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Good, me too.

• 5:05Jay Shetty?

  Because I've been in this office a few times.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 5:08Jay Shetty?

  And those meetings with you have always been memorable.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 5:11Jay Shetty?

  And I say this to everyone, when I'm thinking about being an entrepreneur, when I'm thinking about working hard, the person's content I switch on to is yours.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  I appreciate that.

• 5:19Jay Shetty?

  So for me, your content has been really powerful for me.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 5:22Jay Shetty?

  And I don't think many people knew this when I first came in here and interviewed for Crushing It, which was so much fun, but that for me, I, when I hear you speak, I feel very aligned with a lot of it. And actually, it's helped me gain conscious competence on what I already do. So I think a lot of us have unconscious competence. We're doing stuff right, but we don't even know we're doing it right.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 5:41Jay Shetty?

  And then when I listen to you, I'm like, oh, I do that. Okay, I'm doing it right. And that's been a really nice reaffirming belief, man.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  You know, it's funny to hear you say that. I do that for myself.

• 5:51Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  I'm such an intuitive executor.

• 5:53Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  That I live through life where I go, wait a minute, I'm doing this. And then I'm almost doing it for myself, which is why I think it's easy for me to do it for others.

• 6:04Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  A lot of, you know, it's even, me just saying that out loud made me realize, huh, that's similar to the things I talk about. I am so uncomfortable to talk about anything that I haven't lived. It's easy to share my opinions and thoughts and aspirations because they're completely predicated on actually doing it, not on hypothesis or ideology or things I've heard from others.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  It's a very safe place.

• 6:31Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, yeah, and this is, yeah, I totally agree. It's one of the reasons why I don't have any advice on parenting. Like, I always get advice, asked questions on parenting when I'm on panels or whatever. And I'm like, I'm not a parent yet. So my opinions are there.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  I'd love to ask you a question. It's funny, I've been that way for a long time. And then I started thinking about the great coaches. You know, there's some, there's some all-time great athletic coaches who've never played the sport. And I always think about that, which is, you know, I am now a parent, but I can tell you that a lot of my opinions on parenting have become true because I was actually able to synthesize it from the perspective of the child.

• 7:08Jay Shetty?

  Sure.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  So I've been parented.

• 7:09Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Which gives me quite a bit of a perspective. And that's something you may want to, you know, I also intuitively, through our, you know, couple of our business meetings and some of our dinners, like, I do think naturally we do align in a lot of ways, though we manifest our energies outwardly differently. I think that, um, one thing for you to debate is what, in the way that you were parented, has created you? And what does that then mean is, I think that, I think that's something we need to, I actually think that I am consumer-centric, which is why I'm a great salesperson. I don't think about me trying to sell this basketball card. I think about why would Jason want this basketball card? I actually think that most of my parenting hot takes come from the perspective of the

• 7:54Speaker 01

  child, not the parent. It's being the consumer of, instead of the pontificator of. So, I don't know. I actually think that children should be speaking more. As we get older, as a 44-year-old, our parenting advice should be predicated on tapping into who we were as children, not who we're parenting today, because a lot of the shortcomings of parenting is the opinions of other parents and teachers not staying in a silo. But when you think of yourself as a child, you can only take the context of what your parents did in your perception at this point, right, wrong, or indifferent.

• 8:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I like that. No, I agree. And I think it's a part of it is just, and I think you match this, and that's what I'm trying to do is if I am advising on something that I haven't done yet, it's balanced with humility, right? Like it's coming from a place of

• 8:42Speaker 01

  You're, you're more obvious with your humility than I am. One of the reasons 25% of people, or whatever the number is, at first struggle with me, or as you've navigated through life, maybe you've been surprised at times like, oh, you don't like Gary? It's because my, your energy as a communicator, the humility is extremely obvious, and that's why the audience loves you so much. Ironically, humility is why my audience loves me so much, except there's a veneer of a competitive alpha, a cursing Jersey kid that doesn't necessarily immediately become obvious.

• 9:14Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Which allows a certain amount of judgment and, and not misunderstanding because I am who I am, and so I don't judge others for that. But yes, I think that people see my humility tend, if they dig in a little bit.

• 9:27Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  It's, you're much more obvious, though it is absolutely our connective tissue on palpableness.

• 9:33Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Um, that yes, we do have some natural talents and life experiences, but there is an inherent understanding uh, that we share on that. I'm absolutely convinced that my humility is a deep foundational uh, aspect to my success, and I do not believe that most people actually see that at first with me.

• 9:53Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. Yeah, I know a lot of people would just say that when you're saying that about yourself, it's like, oh, well, yeah, it's easy to say, but you're right. Someone needs to dig in, right? You need to dig in. You need to get stuck into someone's life to really know what they're for. And when you asked me about that parenting point, the first thing that came to my mind is my parents never really got excited about metrics or achievements for me, and I love that because it pushed me further. So we didn't really celebrate every win. Like if I got a first class degree, which I did, my parents weren't like shouting out the rooftops of it. It was like, well, what's next? And so for me, my mindset's always

• 10:25Speaker 01

  In a healthy way.

• 10:25Jay Shetty?

  In a healthy way, not in like a

• 10:27Speaker 01

  No, but it's important. The reason I jumped in is like, people here, you know, like I even got goosebumps. Like I can hear a lot of people now hearing that and saying, oh, that's a lot of fucking pressure.

• 10:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  Like, I don't smell the roses either. I've never celebrated shit. In a healthy way. It doesn't, it, it, it's like this balancing act of like, that's awesome. But I'm not gonna let that achievement make me be a dick face. At the same token, if I never achieve another thing, that's okay. It's the opportunity to try to achieve the next thing.

• 10:55Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 10:55Speaker 01

  That is exciting, not the judgment of if I do from others.

• 10:59Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, absolutely, absolutely. And I think we have that challenge where you either get cocky or complacent. Right, when something goes your well, you kind of go either way. And it's like you either let compliments get to your head, or you let criticism get to your heart. And I feel like if you're really good at letting compliments get to your head, you're more likely to let criticism get to your heart.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  You know, it's the same thing I always say, which is like, I can't hear anything, right? I don't hear the boos, I don't hear the cheers. I talk a lot about why people aren't capable of producing content to the world, which is now the requirement as a human to achieve happiness. I genuinely believe that. I believe taking advantage of all of our abilities to reach out to the world through these new channels with no friction is an enormous gift, an opportunity. The reason most can't achieve it is because they're unable to take back the inevitable feedback that immediately comes with the opportunity.

• 11:49Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  To your point, I genuinely believe the reason I can take the feedback is because when I go into my Instagram post that I just posted, literally in back-to-back content, comments, excuse me, one will say that I'm walking on water, and the next will say that I'm a snake oil salesman charlatan. The fact that neither penetrate my psyche is absolutely where I'm at.

• 12:09Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, absolutely. And that's equanimity, right? Like, that is that, whatever you wanna call it.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  It's the game, because people want the positive reinforcement. Uh, you know, there's so many models on Instagram, right? Men and women. You're so beautiful, you look so great, you're so beautiful, you look so great. You're full of shit, you look fake, they're crushed because they take too much in that you look so great.

• 12:28Jay Shetty?

  Yes, and I think, and I think that's the point that we're hitting on here, which I love, is that that overemphasis on positive, it's what makes the negative so hard to take.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  It's also an incredible place for me to add some clarity that I haven't done a good job on historically, which is something I'm thinking a lot more about. Rag, if it's fun to see you here, because we had this call yesterday. I'm like, look, I'm at my worst when I'm excited in an interview and I'm, and I'm drilling a headline. Cause I love doing it, it's fun, it's showmanship, it's wrestling, promo videos, it's my natural state. You know, I talk a lot about not giving a fuck about other people's opinions. It's also because I take the complete opposite approach, which is every negative piece of feedback that I get, I genuinely go into two places. A, I deploy sympathy and empathy for the person leaving the comment, because inevitably, immediately on that action, I know that they're not in a good place. If you go to somebody else's social, consume it, and then spew hate, you're not in a good place.

• 13:22Jay Shetty?

  No, absolutely.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  You're unhappy.

• 13:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Next, I start trying to see the insight to any truth in it. You know, the second that you're high on your own supply, you're vulnerable.

• 13:32Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  And so, I don't give a fuck about anybody's opinion. Ironically, I value everybody's opinion. I just synthesize it, and then decide to take the good from it.

• 13:43Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  By deploying empathy and sympathy to the deliverer of the... I'm stunned by our lack of conversation in society right now on this part. There's a lot of judgment and hot takes and comments. We need to judge the person delivering the message.

• 13:59Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Like, how is your mother's opinion of you have the same weight as Anonymous54's comment on Instagram?

• 14:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  That is ludicrous.

• 14:10Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  In the same way of how does a coworker's opinion, you have to factor that in, different than your mother, because your mother blindly thinks you're the best, if you're lucky enough to have that mother, you know? And so, it's super fast. It's just pulling from opposite directions. And I think, you know, I'm pulling so hard from opposite directions that my balance is coming in that.

• 14:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, I get that. And I love breaking that down into what I call the four Cs of trust. It's like, what are you trusting or judging people of? Competence, care, character, or consistency? Right? These are the four things that you can judge someone of. Like, you're judging someone of their competency. But don't remember that. That person may be competent, they may not care about you.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  Can I ask you a question?

• 14:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, sure.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  For your opinions?

• 14:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 14:50Speaker 01

  So I hear that, which makes a lot of sense to me. It was funny where my heart went and my brain. I am stunned by how, almost binary, my judgment is completely predicated on intent.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  If you, if I believe your intent was to be there for me, but your actions were not that you were consistent, I'm completely unbothered and I don't know what that means, but I'm super fucking grateful that I have it.

• 15:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but that's an art and a skill that you have. And I'd like to think I have the same where I'm, I'm able to do that too. I'm able to let go.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  What is the, what is the concept of not having expectations? From your perspective, because I would tell you that that may be my great superpower.

• 15:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  You know, somebody said to me, Tom Bell, you on my podcast said to me, Gary, your superpower is your ability not to judge yourself. And I've been saying it a lot. And then literally on a flight this week, I was like, right, because I don't judge others.

• 15:48Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  I'm able to not judge myself because I don't judge others. A lot of people who are like, a lot of, right? So tell me, I don't know, I'm just.

• 15:54Jay Shetty?

  So powerful. No, I love that. That's such a great point.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  How do you think about that?

• 15:57Jay Shetty?

  That's such a great point. No, you're, you're spot on because the reason why we have, we judge others is because we judge ourselves, right? The opposite of what you're saying. And so for me, it's the same thing. The reason why I don't expect is because I see everything as my responsibility.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 16:10Jay Shetty?

  I see everything as my work.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:12Jay Shetty?

  And I see everything else as a bonus.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:14Jay Shetty?

  Like, it's just amazing that anyone even cares about me or has time for me or makes an effort to do something or connect me to someone, whatever it is. And that's just a beautiful bonus of life. But I've got to be in charge of it. And I think that just came from many years of having expectations. I think that came from times when I did expect and I didn't get. And I realized I don't want to feel this way anymore.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 16:35Jay Shetty?

  Like, I don't want to experience this anymore. This doesn't make any sense. And I think for a lot of people, we do start our lives expecting certain things. Whether it's from a relationship, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or whatever it is. And then we have to deconstruct that.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  Well, this gets into parenting.

• 16:47Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  You know, this is the framework of what our parents are creating for us. We're, one of the most interesting things that are happening in a lot of modern societies is we have had disproportionate prosperity over five, six, seven decades. America has had a clean run. I mean, we've had a couple of recessions here and there. We've had a couple of internal country scandals. We have underlying issues of sexism and racism and things of that nature. But in its most macro, this has been the empire. Things have been good. And what has happened is we've created unbelievable levels of entitlement.

• 17:24Jay Shetty?

  Entitlement, yeah.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  Entitlement.

• 17:25Jay Shetty?

  Entitlement.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  I can't stop thinking about it.

• 17:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 17:28Speaker 01

  It is, it's starting to consume me.

• 17:30Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  That I never, you know, it sounds crass, like never expect anything from anyone. But, but I almost want to find new ways to say it.

• 17:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  Just to help people understand, it is the great gift of life.

• 17:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  When you get into a place where you have zero expectations and you actually don't believe you're entitled to anything.

• 17:48Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  You can actually start doing things.

• 17:50Jay Shetty?

  Yes, absolutely, because otherwise that's what's paralyzing you.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Because you feel like somebody else is in control.

• 17:55Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  The man, the society, the government, the president, the not-president, the governor, the mayor, the system, the systematic infrastructure.

• 18:08Jay Shetty?

  And really, it's a crutch, right?

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 18:10Jay Shetty?

  Like, really, it's just a crutch. Like, that's another way of saying it.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  At its worst, it's an excuse.

• 18:13Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  At its best, it's a lack of perspective.

• 18:16Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes, yeah, at the worst, it's an excuse.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 18:19Jay Shetty?

  Exactly, it's just like, it's another way of not adding to do it.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  I hate when, I hate when people that are, uh, the opposite of that, uh, aren't sympathetic to that some people don't use it as an excuse. There are absolutely people who use it as an excuse because they just don't want to do and they want to continue to be entitled, lazy, whatever one would want to deploy. But, but I hate when people go the other way, and a lot of people think I can go that other way, where it's like, it's on you, it's like, no, it's a little more subtle than that, there are people that just don't have that perspective, and that's why talking about it in moments like this lead to, look, when I do a podcast like this, knowing that you have such a thoughtful audience, I come on knowing we overlap in a lot of places. All I've been thinking about for the first 10 minutes, and all I'll think about for the rest of this talk is, can I bring one person value?

• 19:04Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Can I add an adjective, a sentence, a, saying the same thing in a different way than Jay or somebody else says, that helps Karen, who's listening to this right now on her treadmill? Like, actually do something. There's nothing more intoxicating than when you're a communicator, than getting the feedback loop of somebody saying, "You said something, I did something, I'm happier now." End of story.

• 19:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. And whether you're listening to or watching this right now, whether you're on a treadmill, whether you're commuting to or from work, whether you're walking your dog right now, I want you to make sure also that you're listening for that. Right? I just want to prepare the audience, everyone who's listening and watching right now, make sure you're listening for that, to find that in this podcast.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Well, let me say this as an outside observer. If you're listening to Jay's podcast, from my standpoint, you have a level of curiosity or subconscious understanding that there's a tweak or two that can really change the game. That already puts you in an incredible place. And when I think about individuals that I admire that are on to it, like yourself, and I'd like to think me, in you and me being different, listen, there's a significant, not significant, there's a chunk of the audience right now that genuinely doesn't like me, that likes you because of it, because I watch, I read everything. I know that, and I love you. And I think, but here's where I'm going. My big thing is, I think we need to have more optimism and positivity in the ecosystem. When we're lucky enough, here's my point of view.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  There are people who are going to be attracted to my message style more than yours and vice versa. And we need to start thinking in Avengers talk.

• 20:41Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  Like, I'm very grateful that I was an immigrant, came in through a rugged Russian DNA structure, grew up in Jersey, was a terrible student, didn't understand high society, high education, know anything. Because what ended up happening is, adding, melting us down, we're the same. Adding the layers allows a 46-year-old born in Jersey to a shitty situation, fuck everybody, fuck the social left, fuck everybody, they're attracted to me. Yet, what I'm pitching in disguise is empathy, kindness, gratitude. So I'm getting far more DMs from people that say things like,

• 21:28Speaker 01

  "A year ago, I was addicted to drugs, striking my woman."

• 21:34Speaker 01

  Thought you were cool, you weren't gonna make me money. I don't know what you did to me, but over the last year, I've reconciled that relationship, I've gotten help, I'm selling stuff on eBay, I've gotten this better job, my relationship with my dad has changed, I confronted my mother. The reality is, you could never do that for that person. On the flip side, you're doing something for somebody who sees me in Instagram Explore, likes the title, clicks it, and in eight seconds says, "Fuck this guy. This guy's a piece of shit." What, how conceited, like ego, and they're out, and they're never coming back. When I think about that today, I think it's unbelievably important, and one of the things I am so happy about,

• 22:18Speaker 01

  we've never talked about this, but it, you know, just kinda came to me here. I'm so happy that we have this admiration for each other, because I actually believe that there's too many people that are doing good in the world right now, but because of the veneer of how they're doing it, other good people are judging them to not do it their way, and we're destroying the upside.

• 22:38Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yeah, 100%. I'll, I'll give you a perfect example of how it happened on the podcast. So, a couple of podcasts ago, I had Chelsea Handler on the podcast.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 22:45Jay Shetty?

  And a lot of people were like, "Jay, how can you have Chelsea on?"

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 22:47Jay Shetty?

  Right, like Chelsea's negative, and she talks about celebrity gossip and all of this stuff. And I met Chelsea at a Wisdom 2.0 conference, where we were both speaking about mindfulness. And I was there, and I saw Chelsea, and she spoke about mindfulness, and she sat through everyone else's presentations. So she was there for real, she was present. And we connected afterwards, and I realized that meditation has been a huge part of her life. And so I wanted to have her on, because that's what her new book's about, and that's what we were discussing. And, and the judgment was so high, of like, "Jay, how can you sit down?" And I was just like, "Wait a minute, if I consider myself a kind, good, empathetic human being, if I can't display that to absolutely everyone, to understand them from a different perspective, then I can't be a good, kind, or empathetic human being." And so sometimes-

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Not to mention, Jay-

• 23:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  That almost- Not almost. Everybody doesn't know everything about everybody.

• 23:36Jay Shetty?

  Oh, of course.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  I mean, we, the, the, the, the eliminate, me going through a process over the last half decade of curtailing my judgment, I didn't start with a whole lot. But whatever I started at to where I am now compared to 36 months ago, has put me into a stronger position that I've never could have imagined and makes me excited for the next 50 years of my life. I'm just done. Now, if there's something that is obviously black and white done, you know, like, it doesn't mean that nobody can do no wrong, but boy, we are in hot take judgment land.

• 24:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  They don't know Chelsea. I don't, I don't know anything.

• 24:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Like, like, they don't know.

• 24:18Jay Shetty?

  No, no, and we don't see it.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  And I just don't know, I don't know, like, I, I think people here, you know, like,

• 24:25Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 24:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I actually wanted to do this analysis and you've just given me this thought right now?

• 24:29Speaker 01

  Celeb, real quick, somebody judging somebody for doing celebrity judgment, when they're judging that celebrity in the output, is the most hypocritical thing I've ever heard of all time.

• 24:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but this is the-

• 24:39Speaker 01

  That's literally what they're doing to you in the comments section.

• 24:41Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  They're mad at for her doing.

• 24:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, this is the age of quarrel and hypocrisy though, right? Like, that's like, that's so huge.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 24:47Jay Shetty?

  Like, it's so huge, but you've, you've just given me an idea because when I listen to you, and I think this is, I would love to do, and I don't know if your team's doing it, so one of you guys, Raghav or whoever else is in the room, please try this out. I'd love for someone on Gary's team to do a keyword search on how many times Gary uses the word gratitude, or positivity, or, or humility, versus even a cuss word that he gets said that he says too many of.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  We have it.

• 25:10Jay Shetty?

  Awesome, great.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  We have it.

• 25:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I want to see it because when I listen to you, when I listen to you, and this is what I feel we have to look beyond, and I think what we're encouraging people to do, I hear the words optimism, positivity, humility, uh, the other one that I said, what did I say?

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Gratitude.

• 25:27Jay Shetty?

  Gratitude, I see, I hear gratitude more than anything. Like, every time I turn you on, all I ever hear is gratitude, and so for me, that's what I-

• 25:34Speaker 01

  You know what's even better?

• 25:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  And I love you for that, and we'll see what literally it looks like.

• 25:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  What I'm real, why I love you and other people I admire, why I love hip hop as a genre.

• 25:43Jay Shetty?

  Me too.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  How about the fact of, what about not taking it literally?

• 25:48Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  So, like- What I know is before I got mature enough to start, because I had a bad vocab, because I was a poor student, before I got myself to understanding, how about the fact that I'm looking at my team right now, how about the fact that I'm even using the word sympathy now, where I never even said it once, because I'm starting to understand slightly, at least, the world's interpretation of sympathy versus empathy, because I used empathy sometimes when I meant sympathy. You know, I'm evolving. But like, but how about, go watch the first thousand episodes of Wine Library TV. I'm doing a wine show.

• 26:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  I'm never saying gratitude, or empathy, or kindness, but if you watch it,

• 26:29Jay Shetty?

  Kindness.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  I'm saying kindness, and empathy, and gratitude, and positivity, and optimism.

• 26:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  That's, you know, to me, that's what I'm trying to, in the reverse too. I see a lot of people that everybody puts on a pedestal in society, because they're saying the right things, but I'm seeing something different, which is not as pretty.

• 26:49Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  And I think that we need to get into a thoughtfulness conversation as a society of back to intent.

• 26:56Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, absolutely.

• 26:58Speaker 01

  People are so literal.

• 26:59Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 27:00Speaker 01

  And like, to me, what I know, literally, to the day both, one of us dies, there's nothing you're gonna do that's gonna upset me, because I've already got enough data, binarily, on what you're about.

• 27:11Jay Shetty?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  The end.

• 27:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  You know, I have the advantage of also being in the business world. Like, for everybody listening, let me, let me say, I'm about to give you a compliment that I have no clue of how you're gonna take this. I'm just enjoying watching from afar, because I'm in the trenches, of your thoughtfulness, of how you're thinking about your professional career. How are you thinking about, what partners are you gonna work with? You know, people are pitching you. Like, you know, this is my world, right? So, like, even just watching from afar, without details of all the different parties, some reaching out to me like, hey, can you put in a good word? We wanna sign him for a tour, for a book series, for like, just the thoughtfulness that you're putting in, you know, it just reminds me a lot of me, and this may be me complimenting myself. But no, listen, there's not a lot of people.

• 27:54Jay Shetty?

  I'll take it as a compliment.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Listen, I will say this, Jay. In comparison to a lot of people that look like us, Guys, gals, different people in society. I believe most people are not thoughtful. And they're kind of into short-term KPIs. Whether it's dollars, or fame, or followers, or just checking the box. And I think you've, you're deploying currently one of the more thoughtful executions. I admire that.

• 28:16Jay Shetty?

  Well, thank you, man. I think it's a big part of it is our value for patience.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 28:20Jay Shetty?

  And for me.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  By the way, a word that's gonna come up.

• 28:22Jay Shetty?

  I know, I know, I know. I know it's gonna be in there. That's what I brought it up. Tell me about something. I've been wanting to ask you this because I can see everything you put out. So for me, it's, you know, I have, my mind's a human algorithm of what you're saying too. But I'd love to know, what is it that you've been thinking about lately? That you can't put into a one-minute, four-minute video because you're apprehensive about the fact that people are just gonna run in and, you know, because you need more context.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  What happened yesterday? What? Did I tell you that I don't want to write the article? We need six more months. This is the first time it fucking happened. I can't believe you just asked that. Ranga, in the entire time, how many times have I ever told you, no, not yet, it's not ready? It happened yesterday for the first time.

• 29:02Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  It almost never happens. Something I'm thinking a ton about. Which is a complete and utter pot-committed thesis of bottom-up everything.

• 29:12Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Meaning, test and learn, MVP. What, how I see it is a complete and utter commitment to lack of fear. So what we were talking about, I'm in this mindset of like, everything should be a pilot. You know, you and I are thought, oh god, this is so meta. I just got done telling you how much I admire the fact that you're thoughtful. And now I'm about to tell you that you and I should put out new stuff every day? That has no thought against it as a data loop back to the thought.

• 29:47Jay Shetty?

  Right. But therefore it's thoughtful.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 29:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  It's a Mac, this, oh, I like you. I like you. That's exactly right.

• 29:55Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need them most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast.

• 30:38Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair.

• 31:23Jay Shetty?

  Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget, and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated, calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache,

• 32:05Jay Shetty?

  Wayfair can handle delivery, installation, and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  In the macro, the most thoughtful one can do, thoughtful thing that one can do right now in our society to take advantage of the internet, is to not think about output, put it out. You know what it manifested into? This is really back to like me living my dog food, or eating my dog food. Last night, I put up my single worst performing Instagram post in the last five years, right? It's called "What If Wednesdays."

• 32:55Speaker 01

  After the call of like saying, "Yes, we're gonna tell the world in six months, this kind of pop-pop concept." We're telling them now, obviously, we've now made the commitment. This is again, me like completely contradiction of my own self. I'm giving it to, you know, you right here. You know, we need to be more creatively brave. We need to take advantage of the internet, the feedback loop. I knew that the piece of content wasn't gonna work. I'm creating this thing called "What If Wednesdays", and it's this idea that I love products, right? Baseball cards, cereal, wine, sneakers. So we're gonna, every Wednesday, we're gonna post something on Instagram called "What If Wednesdays", "What if I made this product?" The first one we posted was a former employee of mine, Tyler Babin, actually Bobby Babin,

• 33:40Speaker 01

  who just went for this incredible thing at Adobe, just left our team. In an episode of Daily V like a year and a half ago, went really viral in my community. I was in an elevator with him, we were joking, we put it on, it was in the vlog, where I was like, "Let's make Bobby Babin beef jerky." And it was like this whole ha-ha thing. Anyway, we posted it last night. We posted it, it did a tr- I've never had a piece of content not get 10,000 likes. Like, just like unbelievably poor. And I'm so happy, cuz I'm living my truth. Which is, we now live in a world where people are so into growth hacking the algorithm. You know, I think it's something that you're gonna go through, because I watch you, and I'm like, "Okay, that's working for him." I hope he- I can't wait for him to get to a place where he realizes that's great.

• 34:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  But I need to be saying what I want to be saying.

• 34:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  Not what I know will work.

• 34:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I call it mains and sides. So for me, it's like I've always got my main.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  Same thing, same thing.

• 34:32Jay Shetty?

  And I've got my sides and I'm switching them all the time.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  I call it the same thing.

• 34:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  I call it side dishes.

• 34:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:37Speaker 01

  I've called it Navy SEALs to the Army.

• 34:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  I call it eighty-five percent core, fifteen percent play.

• 34:42Jay Shetty?

  I've said to everyone, do not have one, like I've always said to people, if I had seven formats that worked for me, I'd have seven videos and I'd keep re.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  Punchline.

• 34:51Jay Shetty?

  And growing.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  Punchline, I'm in the beginning process of putting myself in a position. I wanted to do Q and A. I started a show called The Ask Gary Vee Show.

• 34:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  I wrote a book called Ask Gary Vee, and now I'm able to do keynotes where it's thirty minutes keynote, thirty minutes Q and A, because I know I'm at my best with Q and A.

• 35:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  Because I can show my expertise, not my showmanship.

• 35:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Right?

• 35:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  So I know that I'm in the beginning stages.

• 35:13Jay Shetty?

  Love that.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  Of putting myself into a place, because something I've discovered about myself that I had no clue, and I mean no clue, I'm dramatically more creative than I realized. And I'm about to put myself into a place.

• 35:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  To be creative on a daily basis, to taste in an acceptance way as a side dish instead of a theory.

• 35:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, hundred percent. I love that, man. That's awesome. One, the one thing I've been trying to figure out with you as well, and which I think is such a a thing that you balance so well, you can call it a superpower if you like, is your ability, we talked about this earlier and sparked it now, your ability to not judge yourself, but to hold yourself accountable.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 35:50Jay Shetty?

  And I think that that is such a scary thing for people, because a lot of us don't judge ourselves and then we don't do anything, or lots of us so accountable to ourselves that we don't give us space to do what you just said you do now.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  I, I, please.

• 36:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, no, no. So what I'm just saying is the action you just took yesterday shows the balance of the two.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  It's also, it's just, yes, and this gets into confidence, not ego. This gets into loving yourself and not being delusional. Look what I just did. It's also, I literally told him for the first time ever, I'm not ready to tell the world about that, and twelve fucking hours later, I told the world about it. That is remarkably intriguing to me.

• 36:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  And I'm just trying to find, look, this is actually a fun platform to probably say this. Another thing I know that I'm gonna start talking a lot more about is how much I don't think I'm right. I just know I'm right for myself.

• 36:39Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  And I desperately want everybody to find what's right for themselves.

• 36:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  There is no right.

• 36:43Jay Shetty?

  Hundred percent.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  Like, you know, especially, you know, a lot of people try to throw hustle porn and all this stuff at me. And I'm devastated by it because I'm like, fuck, because I used the word hustle and because of my energy. I mean, my first book I outlined, Work 30 Hours, this is about one big game of happiness. Yet, people hear 7:00 PM to 2:00 in the morning, people are using my name to build up their profile. And I'm like, fuck, I don't want this, right? This would devastate me if there's any confusion. And so, you know, I'm being very thoughtful because I have to respect it.

• 37:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  I have to respect that, you know, even though I know they're using it to build up their profile. And it makes me so sad that people are falling for it. And it's like the reverse of like, things that they make fun of or are mad at that are happening in society. I still have to be thoughtful about it. But yeah, I, you know, like.

• 37:34Jay Shetty?

  The way I always took that from you was, and I say this often too, is just like, it's work ethic.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  It's work ethic.

• 37:40Jay Shetty?

  And there is no substitute for that.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  When I started using hustle and it became like, it was just my version of work ethic.

• 37:47Jay Shetty?

  Work ethic, yeah, it was your language.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  You know, but, but.

• 37:50Jay Shetty?

  And, and there's truth in it.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  I also am probably the single loudest voice in entrepreneurship, telling people they're not entrepreneurs.

• 37:57Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, yeah, that's true, yeah.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Right, Jay? Like, like, like, like, I don't know, like, back to hearing things.

• 38:02Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  The way you reacted, this one hasn't necessarily been obvious to you yet, but I hope people hear it. I'm fucking, I'm talking about self-awareness.

• 38:10Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Like, I think it's incredible to be a number four. How about this? I sometimes fantasize about being a number four. It sucks being a number one. Everything's my fault. I met with two employees today. I wanna blame their managers, but I know it's my fault because I hired their managers.

• 38:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 38:29Speaker 01

  So, yeah, I mean.

• 38:30Jay Shetty?

  It's lonely at the top.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  It's a, uh, I, I, I think that one thing that I'm getting excited about is creating more context and clarity around my conviction and confidence in myself, which allows me to do what you just brought up. And now I wanna start pushing it out in a way that allows people to do it for themselves. Here's my thing. And I always say this to you, so I'm glad I was, I, when we first started this podcast, I was about to say it again, because I actually believe it. Uh, but I was like, nah, I always say it, and now I'm happy I'm about to say it. You have crazy, beautiful eyes.

• 39:07Jay Shetty?

  The first time you said that to me was like, I think it was the first time we met, and it was like one of the most awkward things ever, because I was like,

• 39:12Speaker 01

  For me, it was super awkward.

• 39:13Jay Shetty?

  I did not expect that from Gary. It was the last thing I expected from you.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  But you did nothing to make that happen.

• 39:19Jay Shetty?

  True. I always say I can't take credit for them. I said I'll done.

• 39:22Speaker 01

  I don't take credit for anything I am. All my accolades, I'm like, my parents?

• 39:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  My circumstance?

• 39:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 39:28Speaker 01

  Ooh, Soviet Russia to America, ooh, the eighties, oh, Jersey, oh, this, oh, some form of learning disability that made me shitty at school, like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, right?

• 39:40Speaker 01

  You know, by the way, not being diagnosed with a learning disability, which then either I'm right or I'm wrong, but it doesn't matter. I didn't have to deal with that pressure, especially in the eighties, when it was a little bit more of like scary than it is now. Like, what if I was, what if I did, maybe I didn't, probably not, because they would have caught me. You get into all these circumstances. This is a big deal, though. I'm sure that what I talk about is right for me, because I'm incredibly in tune with myself, and I'm an incredibly good communicator in a style that hits a certain group, which helps them get the insight to create affirmation, to create lack of fear, to try something, to start the process, to get to a happier place. That is a fucking blessing.

• 40:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, 100%.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Now I want people to figure out that things are right for them based on their luck,

• 40:28Speaker 01

  circumstance, what's their beautiful eyes?

• 40:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  Yes, maybe they're not an entrepreneur, because they don't lack, they don't have incredible lack of fear, but maybe that they are incredibly compassionate, unbelievably analytical, remarkably competitive, incredibly gorgeous, wonderfully funny. Like, let's lean into what we're fucking awesome about. Everybody's spending all their time on what they suck at.

• 40:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  Themselves, they're doing that, and I promise you, everybody else is spending all their time telling you what you suck at. I'm spending all my time thinking about what I'm fucking awesome at, and I'm spending all my time trying to figure out what everybody else is awesome at. Some of it's very obvious, like beautiful eyes. Others are like, hey, you're a good fucking kid, keep listening to me. You know, like, that's what's going on.

• 41:16Jay Shetty?

  But that's because of awareness of story. It's like, we're all so addicted to watching other people's stories that we don't have a high awareness of our story, and we're not telling ourselves, like, well, you just explained all your connections from your past, to your parenting, to school. You've created the story arc that fits you, that works for you, because you could tell yourself a different story about that.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  But what also happens as you evolve into it, what people don't understand about getting to a place of being happy with yourself, it starts giving you foundation to address what you're not as good at.

• 41:45Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  Like, twenty years ago, I couldn't speak to, first I didn't know this about myself, but today I could speak to, my lack of candor along the way is a shortcoming of mine as a manager, and over the last five years, Vayner's in a healthier place because I realized, in my lack of being interested in conflict, I would hold it to myself, but then I would pull the rug from underneath you when I would fire you without giving you context along the way, even though my thing was like, fuck, don't you realize how shitty you're doing? But no, that's not your responsibility, you're in your own framework. That's not something I could say out loud ten years ago.

• 42:18Jay Shetty?

  Yes, but you can now.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  A hundred percent. Because when you dig in and deep down, triple down on happiness, optimism, self-love, you get to a place where you get such into a good place that you can start putting your toe into your shortcomings.

• 42:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I so agree, I so agree.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  You can't do that.

• 42:36Jay Shetty?

  And we're doing it the other way around, majority of people doing it the other way around.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  You're not in love with yourself, so you're not in a place where you can talk about your vulnerabilities, so what you do is you start calling out the vulnerabilities that you have in others.

• 42:48Jay Shetty?

  Yes, absolutely, absolutely. And then, and then it grows, because the more you're meditating on other people's vulnerabilities, the more they even become yours. I've seen that sometimes, when you keep talking about and thinking about and fix setting on someone else's, you start mirroring.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  Do you know what I just realized? I actually spend no time on judging people's shortcomings, only focusing on their strengths. I don't even have the capacity or the room left.

• 43:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Radoff doesn't get feedback from me. We're doing our thing and the feedback he got yesterday is, "You're ready for this, brother. I see it. You can do this, right?" This is fucking meta shit. This is real. This happened yesterday. I haven't fucking talked to him in six months. He's writing for me. We're doing this thing. And what he gets from me yesterday is, "You're ready for this. You could do better. Here's why. I see it. And we can do better." And I start with, "It's on me." And then it's fucking amazing.

• 43:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 43:36Speaker 01

  The fuck? You're right, it's optimism. Like, why? Everything else is pessimistic.

• 43:41Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. And one of the best things I love about that is when you're all in on your strengths, you appreciate other strengths, but it also limits your envy and jealousy. Right? Like, when you genuinely start...

• 43:51Speaker 01

  I love you. Keep going. I'll jump in in a minute. What I was about to say is, it's the... I'm blown away by my inabilities on those two things.

• 43:59Jay Shetty?

  But I had to raise them because they're such big things.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Let's go meta. Do you know how pumped I am your podcast is ahead of mine?

• 44:06Speaker 01

  Jay, I'm being dead fucking serious.

• 44:07Jay Shetty?

  I appreciate that.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  I swear on my fucking children's health. I go into the charts occasionally, you know, once every two weeks because I like to stay on top of shit. And I look and I see you there. I'm like, "Motherfucker, good... Those fucking eyes." You know? But no, I mean it. It makes me happy. It makes me happy. Because here's my big thing when it comes to things of that nature. If you don't have that gear, then you're not respecting the game that's giving you life. If I can't be happy for people who are winning in entrepreneurship and content, then I'm shitting on the game that's made me happy.

• 44:38Jay Shetty?

  Totally. Hundred percent. I completely agree.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  I'm so in love with, you know, what I've been afforded to be able to do, that I want everybody else who can do that too, to be better at me, if they can.

• 44:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And the beauty, I think, for all of us who know that, for me, the same thing back is, this is an exchange. It's love. It's support, right? Like, we all know that. Like, I've seen this for years, that collaboration has beat competition every time. And I know we know that...

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Jay, there's also an abundance.

• 45:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Yeah, there's so much. There's so much for everyone. Yeah.

• 45:11Speaker 01

  There's an abundance.

• 45:12Jay Shetty?

  Hundred percent. And I think we live in this world where it's like, "Oh, if I do this, then no one's gonna follow Gary and Jay." Which is not true. No one goes, "I follow Gary. I'm not gonna follow Jay. I will listen to Jay's podcast."

• 45:23Speaker 01

  I was letting you talk because I'm trying to be more thoughtful about that.

• 45:26Jay Shetty?

  I literally... I've been feeling that on this podcast.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  I literally was thinking in my mind, as we were segueing from last part, some of my favorite comments ever have been... Looking at my friends and seeing people write things that say verbatim, "Hey, let's use you. Hey Jay," and I'm trying, let me give you a real example. Maybe Cy Wakeman, somebody awesome.

• 45:48Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  I just remember somebody leaving a comment when I was going to look at my friend to like, give him some love, like double tap or leave something. Literally the comment that was above me, like I was writing a comment was like, "Hey, somebody, I don't want to make it up. Yeah, you still listen to Gary Vee, but fuck that. Like, you're so much better." And the sheer happiness. And it comes in a couple ways. It's actually back to double side coins. A, abundance, love, positivity, collaboration. B, competition. You know, I was pumped for her. And I was like, "Let me go back to the lab and make awesome shit." You know, like,

• 46:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  If you can't respect the game that you're in more than what it brings to you, then I don't think you're an all-time player.

• 46:28Jay Shetty?

  And I think you see that all the time. And I, and I know you've been getting into football recently, like real football.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Yes, proper, as I call it.

• 46:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, like soccer, soccer, yeah. And it's like for me, and I know you've been getting, and I look at that in Ronaldo and Messi who are compared.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I'm like,

• 46:42Jay Shetty?

  They just wouldn't be as great as they are if they didn't have each other.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Couldn't agree more.

• 46:45Jay Shetty?

  Right?

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Could not agree more. I believe in that.

• 46:47Jay Shetty?

  The fact that they can both exist in the same world.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  And by the way, somebody wins the game.

• 46:52Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  Like Liverpool won the other day. Like, that happens. And I think we need to be careful because we're being very foofy, foofy here.

• 46:59Jay Shetty?

  Are we?

• 46:59Speaker 01

  In a good way.

• 47:00Jay Shetty?

  Go on.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Like, we're talking about very positive, like, I think people get confused. If you, back to, "Don't take the words, listen to what we're saying here." We are saying that there's ramifications. We are saying that there's winning and losing.

• 47:14Jay Shetty?

  We are. There is competition.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  I know we are.

• 47:17Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. But we're saying that without each other, they wouldn't feel that same fuel to keep going.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 47:23Jay Shetty?

  And then you choose whether you want that fuel to keep going or you're going to wallow in that fuel and then just drop.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Or my favorite part is, do you even want to drive that car and that fuel anymore?

• 47:32Jay Shetty?

  True.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  When I tell you, the great question in my life right now, is will I wake up one day and go completely the other way? I think it's actually possible. And I smile with that because I don't know and I can feel that I'm not forcing it like like I would actually argue the other way like I don't want to disappear. But if you told me that at sixty two I woke up, sold off everything and took a five year run of sitting in a cave in Peru. And then came back at sixty seven, I would say to you like, yeah, I I it's I can't, I can never see myself doing drugs.

• 48:07Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  I can never see myself stealing money out of somebody's wallet. It's just impossible. It's not in my framework. I can see myself sitting in a cave in Peru for five.

• 48:16Jay Shetty?

  I love hearing that. I love hearing that.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Well, because I don't think anybody would believe that about me, except people that get really, really, really inside or look like you, which is disproportionately have intuitive superpowers. No, I really believe that about you.

• 48:29Jay Shetty?

  Like when I was eighteen, if anyone ever told me that I'd one day live as a monk, I would have laughed at them and spat in their face. Yeah. So when you said, yeah, exactly. So when you said that, I was like, I literally was, I joined social media in twenty fifteen.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I get it.

• 48:41Jay Shetty?

  And and it's like, I wasn't, I never joined because I was a monk for three years.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  This is a funny thing. Back to, I apologize, but this will bring value to a lot of people.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  This is a game of best, not first.

• 48:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  People are always trying to be first on the next platform. People ask me, what's the next platform? Because they want to be first. They like, I was slow to Instagram in comparison to Twitter. This is a game about best.

• 49:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and for me, it's longevity.

• 49:04Speaker 01

  Hundred percent.

• 49:04Jay Shetty?

  It's longevity for me as well. Yeah, it's such a long game.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  So long.

• 49:08Jay Shetty?

  And and it's, I think so many people get this bad feedback too. And I've had a lot of friends here this, hey, you realize you've only got a three year lifeline.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  That's stupid.

• 49:14Jay Shetty?

  Right? I've heard so many people hear that and make the wrong decisions.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  From people that have never lived it.

• 49:20Jay Shetty?

  Yes, from people that have never lived it. Hey, you realize it's all happening this year.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  By the way, real quick, because the second time it's come up, if we get anything across in this episode, i- if you're like, please just pay attention to who's giving the advice. People say things to me all the time, like, you've never built a business.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  Gary, you should do this with VaynerMedia, like,

• 49:39Speaker 01

  you're, you're an inventor of fruit. Like, I'm not telling you what fruits to marry. Like, like, we have to have a better conversation. If you have two parents that were entrepreneurs and you want to aspire to be one of the great professors of academia, you gotta be thoughtful that they're giving you advice as entrepreneurs. Vice versa. Many of us listening right now had parents that grew up in the industrial revolution and get a safe job and the rise of unions and like da, da, da, da, da. And if you're dying to be an entrepreneur because you always sold lemonade and pencils and this is the great year of entrepreneurship and you want to do it, your parents' advice has to be contextualized.

• 50:20Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  They believe in safety.

• 50:22Jay Shetty?

  Yes, and that's what I mean by that. Looking at things from a care angle and a competence angle, right? Like, you're gonna have people that they're, like my mom. Like, my mom does not care what I'm doing. She cares about, has her son slept? Has her son eaten? And has her son taking care of his health? Like, that's what my mom cares about.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Mine too.

• 50:40Jay Shetty?

  She doesn't care about any award. She doesn't care about the podcast. She doesn't care. And, and that's beautiful and I love that, but I have to take it for what it is. That my mom cares about my mentor and physical well-being.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 50:49Jay Shetty?

  Right, like, that's what she's an expert in.

• 50:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 50:51Jay Shetty?

  That's her expertise. That's her zone. That's what I should listen to her for.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  Couldn't agree more.

• 50:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 50:56Jay Shetty?

  And, and that's what I'm taking.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  Contextualize the advice.

• 50:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and otherwise, we argue with them. Sometimes we're like, "Mom, you don't understand, I'm working so hard." But it's like, no, like, take that, like, she cares.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  You know what you're talking about right now that I've, that has, I just realized been subconsciously on my mind? Another thing I'm thinking a lot about, which is like, and you start, it's amazing. You started this podcast with it. For a lot of, nobody is for everybody, right?

• 51:19Jay Shetty?

  Yep.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Nobody out there sharing is right for everybody.

• 51:23Jay Shetty?

  No one.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  However, most people that are resonating with a large enough audience probably have something to add to you.

• 51:33Speaker 01

  And that's something I've been thinking about. Like, how do, what's the 13% of me that brings value to somebody on the other side? Who genuinely doesn't like me or like it right now? What's the 5% value that somebody can bring me? That I don't see value in right now?

• 51:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  It's not binary and that might become a fun place to dig deeper into.

• 51:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. No, I think it is a fun thing and I think, oh, go on, no, go on.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 51:59Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 52:01Jay Shetty?

  This is us being super polite. The thing that I've seen also is that we're constantly in that space. We take pressure from the room we're in. So if you're in a room full of investors, you walk out and go, crap, I need to invest. Right? And if you're in a room full of Dalai Lamas, you'll be like, crap, I need to meditate. Right? Like, that's my point. Like, and so you've

• 52:20Speaker 01

  You know what's funny about that? Tell me about this, Jay, because where I go in those scenarios is actually the other way.

• 52:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but that's rare. That's what I'm pointing out. Go on.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  No, no, nothing.

• 52:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  Because you were talking, I was like, huh, it's so weird. When I'm in a room of investors, I'm selling Dalai Lama.

• 52:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  When I'm in a room of Dalai Lamas, I'm selling investing.

• 52:37Jay Shetty?

  So I get that. Yeah, I get that. And I talk about, and that's actually the MIT did an incredible study on this, where they looked at connected thinkers. People who are able to take advice from people who didn't know each other. So we're not living in echo chambers. So basically, if you wanted to launch something, let's say you wanted to launch a new app, you would take advice from Mark Zuckerberg and the Dalai Lama. Because that would be fascinating for humanity.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  I'll tell you, I'll tell you what's really interesting. Because you're really getting me thinking here. One of the things that is extremely at the tip of my tongue is my ability to also take advice from my friend, Rob Muse, who's, you know, lives in Atlanta, or, or a nine-year-old kid who hasn't lived life yet. Like, I really, really associate actually more to the trenches than the experts.

• 53:26Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 53:27Speaker 01

  You know, Dali and Zuck's cool.

• 53:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  But for me, it's like

• 53:30Jay Shetty?

  The user.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  The user.

• 53:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Brother, it's all I got.

• 53:34Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  I actually struggle with taking advice from Mark. My shortcoming is not taking advice from the Dalai Lama and Zucks.

• 53:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  And taking Susan Korinski's hot take. I'm obsessed with the user.

• 53:47Jay Shetty?

  They all have different value, right?

• 53:48Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 53:48Jay Shetty?

  They all have different value. Like, it's, I said the same thing when people are like, how do you not run out of things to say in your content? I'm like, because I'm talking to people. Right? Like, that's my number answer.

• 53:56Speaker 01

  Because you're listening.

• 53:57Jay Shetty?

  Because I'm talking to people. I'm listening. Yeah. I'm listening. I'm listening to just people.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  I just read comments, man.

• 54:01Jay Shetty?

  Yes, I read comments.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  The last 10 times I've gone to your Instagram, I've read comments and didn't watch what you put out.

• 54:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  That's real. You want to talk about weird shit that I'm sure most people aren't thinking about? That's, that's an insight. There's a hot take. There's something you might want to build on.

• 54:17Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. Yeah, absolutely. No, 100%. And that's for, for me, it's like, I'm having the conversation with a random person who's had a breakup. I'm having the conversation with a random person who's trying to start a business. Those random conversations-

• 55:02Speaker 01

  Are everything.

• 55:02Jay Shetty?

  Are, are everything. Like, that's the first thing that I bring into-

• 55:04Speaker 01

  What didn't we get to? Let's do a little bit of a weird speed round.

• 55:07Jay Shetty?

  Okay, that's, that's what we're in. We're at the end now, anyway. So this is the final five. We do at the end of every round. So this is our, this is our speed round. You already predicted it.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  Well, what about, what about final seven? What, two things on the first part of the page or second? I don't feel like we're gonna get to do this many more times, so I wanna push my-

• 55:21Jay Shetty?

  Why do you say that? I guess, yeah.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  Well, we will. We will. I'm just talking about, like, cool, like, once a year we'll get jam heavy, you know, like-

• 55:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Absolutely. Do you know what the funny thing is? We went on to all of this stuff organically without me even touching on it.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Love. Something I really love about you-

• 55:36Jay Shetty?

  Thank you.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  You're welcome. Is, I feel like, I, in the last year, I've realized why I liked Star Wars. Star Wars was the only sci-fi thing I followed as a kid.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  And actually, WWF wrestling, right? These wrestling figures, these Star Wars things that are in my room. And I finally hit it. They are very classic stories of good versus bad.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  I mean, Star Wars is just like, super high level versus bad.

• 56:05Jay Shetty?

  Hundred percent.

• 56:06Speaker 01

  But there's something that wrestling does, and Star Wars does it. I can't believe I'm breaking this down right now. I just had my thought on this. Wrestling has a very interesting thing, where somebody good can become a bad guy, and where somebody bad can become a good guy. Right?

• 56:20Jay Shetty?

  Yep.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  It's like, I don't know how many people follow wrestling.

• 56:22Jay Shetty?

  I used to love wrestling.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  But like, Macho Man Randy Savage was my favorite wrestler. He was a bad guy when he came in, then he became a good guy. Right?

• 56:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  The dark side versus the force. If you've watched that series, you know it's a very fine line. You can feel like at any moment, like, right? You've got the established, but like, you kind of understand the core subject matter, Darth Vader, it's right there, right?

• 56:45Speaker 01

  I believe that you and I sit in the world right now, there's a lot of personalities, there's a lot of people talking about good, and I don't believe the majority of them are actually good.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  And I think you are.

• 56:59Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, man.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  And that's why I've always leaned in every time you've reached out. Right?

• 57:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, thank you, man.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  Do you see what I'm saying? And how do you think about it? Because it's something I'm stru- I don't want to say struggling with, because it's not true. I'm concerned that if some of the people our society, and really our genre, podcasters, Instagrammers, YouTubers, personal brands, authors, speakers, if we aren't thoughtful about some people that people are considering good, but actually they're not good, they're selling things for the sake of their own personal financial growth, that it's a dangerous precedent. And I feel a sense of responsibility as somebody who sees it. At the same token,

• 57:44Speaker 01

  I'm, I don't have the bandwidth to do the investigative reporting, to cross the Ts and Is, so that I'm completely definitive, so that I can say, "Fuck you, Karen Thompson."

• 57:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  In a world where everyone's like, "Where the fuck did that come from? Isn't Karen Thompson awesome?" And being right at the end.

• 58:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Now that I just spewed all that, what are your random thoughts about?

• 58:06Jay Shetty?

  You know why that's so crazy? Because I just had breakfast with someone that we both know, who I won't say on the podcast, I can tell you afterwards, who is telling me about justice. It's so crazy, like literally, that wasn't even at the front of my mind.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  What was she or he saying?

• 58:18Jay Shetty?

  They were saying that this exists, you should be wary of it. What's your take on it? Like literally, yeah, literally. They were like, this exists. And I was like, wow. And they've done the investigating work. Like they've gone, they've gone deep into the research of it. And because I was like, I was also, you know, playing devil's advocate. I was like, okay, look, how bad is it? What is it? You know, because we're optimistic and I wanna, I wanna give people the benefit of the doubt. My take on it is, it's kind of like when companies started doing CSR or environmental work because they knew they had to, right?

• 58:46Speaker 01

  I can't believe that's where you took it. I'm unbelievably cynical to businesses with purpose.

• 58:53Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  Because when I like, because when I sit down with a founder,

• 58:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:55Speaker 01

  I leave with, you're a piece of shit because you're using a cause to create commerce.

• 59:02Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Nine out of 10.

• 59:03Jay Shetty?

  I see that all the time.

• 59:04Speaker 01

  It's in our world, brother.

• 59:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And, and I think that what I look at, and I think this is what you've done, and this is what I really saw as powerful. And luckily, the people I spoke to in my life always emphasize this was community first, right? It was always about community. It was always about family. It was always about people. And I think that we need to be careful. And I do agree with you, the investigation is important because I don't want to go out and start accusing and making allegations because that's not cool. Because I wouldn't want some to let me.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  I'm not even good at publicly shitting on people who are clearly 100% wrong.

• 59:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  It's not my natural state.

• 59:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  So to do it without the investigation.

• 59:37Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  But it is hap, it is, I'm glad, yeah, interesting. Anyway, I just was curious about that because I do think you're in the mind, ironically, in the minority of pure good. And I think, and that doesn't mean you don't build a business.

• 59:51Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  That doesn't mean you don't get paid to speak or write a book or do a 10-city tour.

• 59:56Jay Shetty?

  Of course.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  There's just differences.

• 59:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I think that comes back to intention.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  I think that's right.

• 1:00:01Jay Shetty?

  It starts there and it ends there.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  I mean, look, just to uncover a little bit more, just because it's being insightful. Like, I've actually done a couple of things in my career where I've gone on people's platforms that I don't believe are good to sub, to like weirdly try to suck them out.

• 1:00:17Jay Shetty?

  Yes. Oh, I love it. I'm so glad you brought this up. So every time I get invited by a multi-level marketing conference or an internet marketing conference, or whatever you call online marketing conference, I go and I talk about this stuff.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 1:00:29Jay Shetty?

  So I'll go on stage and they're expecting me to talk about social media strategy and how I get views and all of this stuff. And I'll subtext. My two starting lines are, I did not build any of this to build a brand or a business, because I didn't. I just made content because I wanted to help.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  And this is where you and I are so fun as compliments, like a tag team. I go and start with, do not buy anybody's products in the back room at this conference. And everyone's like, what the fuck just happened?

• 1:00:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  And I'm like, what happened is, I don't fucking believe in the bullshit.

• 1:00:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  That's like, I come and fucking try to like destroy.

• 1:00:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:00:59Speaker 01

  At conferences.

• 1:01:00Jay Shetty?

  I don't destroy.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  On like interviews, I'm trying to be subtle because the person's interviewing you.

• 1:01:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  So I'm like, all right, how do I stay in this, how do I not get kicked out of this room while linking to the audience of like, get the fuck out of here?

• 1:01:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, right, right, right.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  Though I've stopped doing that a little bit because right now people are not thoughtful enough, so you get direct attribution, and I think that is a vulnerability. So I say no to a lot of association.

• 1:01:21Jay Shetty?

  And I think that's the big message that's coming out here is, please dig deeper. If you're listening or watching, whatever you're listening or watching, please dig a step deeper. Don't.

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  Be thoughtful.

• 1:01:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, be thoughtful. Be thoughtful. Push beyond the obvious.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  For example, once I make a decision, like if I saw you on somebody's podcast that I'm like, oh, that's a dirty person, I would already assume that you're there to do that same thing, which is to pull them out.

• 1:01:42Jay Shetty?

  And I appreciate that. Yeah, we need to, we need to, yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  Oh, Jim's here. Hold on, before we do the final five, Jim.

• 1:01:47Jay Shetty?

  Oh, yeah, awesome. Oh, this is great.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Jim, did you do an updated version?

• 1:01:50Jay Shetty?

  Perfect timing.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  Is this an updated version or you couldn't find it? All right, while there's dead air, I just want to say to everybody, I love you. I hope everything is good.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  One random thing, like it's been really working in my community, just call somebody you haven't talked to in two years. Just literally go to your phone right now, contacts, hit the letter C, the letter F. You're gonna see somebody from high school, somebody that you used to date and you're over it now. Like, just literally call somebody. Call, not text. Call somebody and just say, what's up? I hope everything's good. And like, that's it. Like, even if you hang up after that, like. Get, you know, like exercise, like eating, getting into practice of optimism and positivity and good matters. So randomly just call somebody and hit me up on social and let me know how it went. Like, but this is crazy. I do this once in a while in my world. Like people have called their father estranged father for 15 years, their best friend that they just both got busy and now they're like back and their families are friends.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  Like this, it's crazy. Anyway, Jim?

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, so when we look through 200 episodes, the words that were most common, most common verbs were no, think, go, want, make, all.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  Action.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Action. And then when you looked at word pairings, like what words you combine together the most? Love and work. Mean and well. Give and fuck.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  I knew that was in there. Listen, I curse.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  New, new and world and play and book.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  So.

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. What about these ones, these top emotions?

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  Top emotions, right. Yeah, so if you go from, from top to bottom, it's love, laugh, funny, appreciate, respect, passion, scare, inspire and curious.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  There you go. No. Thank you for bringing that. Thank you. No, to your point, you intuitively are able to interpret this. There's not a soul, one more time on emotions. Yeah, the emotions. One more time? Yeah, one more time?

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, emotions, love, laugh, funny, appreciate, respect, passion, scare, inspire and curious.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  If you, if you, if you pull a million people that have ever heard of me and dug in a little bit, nobody's even gonna be, this is where I'm complicated. This is why I'm attracted to people that are able to decipher it. This is how he, Jim himself, got his job here, trying to get a job separately in VaynerX, but I wanted him on my team. This is why I leaned into you. If one is emotionally intelligent enough with natural talent to have figured me out, I know they're an incredible partner because I'm extremely difficult. Because for all the people listening right now that kinda know me or have heard of me or actually genuinely don't even love me that much, laugh, love, like that is not, that is not. Live, love, laugh.

• 1:04:34Speaker 01

  That is not what happens with me when I go on stage or when I'm recorded. What comes out is Macho Man Randy Savage promo videos. What comes out is Chris Rock and Eddie Murphy. What comes out is other things that influenced me in the way that I communicate when a camera is on me.

• 1:04:52Jay Shetty?

  And you're still saying the same thing.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  It's just the way it's being said.

• 1:04:56Jay Shetty?

  Totally, and that's, yeah.

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  It's funny, I don't know if you guys saw it, I've seen this at all. Lately, out of nowhere, I've been, for the first time ever, thoughtfully trying to tone down my energy and my speed in communicating, not because of anything else, out of pure curiosity. Back to what we were talking about, testing stuff, it's been really fascinating. Just a 10% off the pedal is just such a different thing in watching the audience consume it. Now, I'm gonna still go 150, because it's just where my natural thing is, and again, when I go 140, I'm missing that person who needs 147, who almost nobody else, right now, can get to.

• 1:05:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  And unfortunately, the only people that can get to the person that's at 147 are the bad guys and gals.

• 1:05:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:43Speaker 01

  Got it?

• 1:05:43Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 1:05:43Speaker 01

  Got it? That's, I have come to realize, my place in this Avengers role is I'm gonna have to eat judgment from people I admire to get through to people that are only getting influenced by bad, because the other goods don't have that one gear that I have, that cadence, that style, and I'm willing to deal with the ramifications to achieve the actual good goal.

• 1:06:14Jay Shetty?

  I love that, man. It's a great note, I love that. I'm not gonna add anything to that, I love that. That's awesome, this has been so much fun.

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  Final five?

• 1:06:20Jay Shetty?

  We're gonna do the final five, because I wanna do it. The first question is...

• 1:06:23Speaker 01

  I know, which sucks, because that last sentence there would've been such a great way to end the pod. Everybody, everybody here is like, "Fuck, that would've been a..."

• 1:06:28Jay Shetty?

  We'll figure it out.

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  "Put the final five, makes it even better, go."

• 1:06:30Jay Shetty?

  We'll figure it out, yeah, you'll make it better, yeah.

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  Don't end this shit.

• 1:06:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine. This is the, uh, which, I love that you brought up the Avengers, because that's how I look at life, and I look at being a part of the Avengers, so which Avenger are you and why?

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  I've never watched Avengers.

• 1:06:43Jay Shetty?

  No, I didn't know that.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  Did you know that was coming? I don't know.

• 1:06:50Jay Shetty?

  Wow. I know who I think you are.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  The reason I, this is getting super triple meta. This is a very thoughtful podcast. I think.

• 1:06:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love this. Yeah.

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  I said it earlier. I may not watch Jay content, but I read Jay comments.

• 1:07:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Interesting.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  I don't, I've not watched one Avengers film.

• 1:07:07Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  But I know what people think about the Avengers and I understand the framework.

• 1:07:10Jay Shetty?

  Okay. I love the Avengers. So I know who you.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  I would too. Who?

• 1:07:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:07:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  Sounds cool because I know a lot. He gets a lot of take.

• 1:07:18Jay Shetty?

  I'd say it's probably Iron Man.

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  Ironically, Iron Man number one rated. Were you really?

• 1:07:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Okay. Anyone else?

• 1:07:26Speaker 01

  And is he the leader? And now Spider-Man gets the leader?

• 1:07:28Jay Shetty?

  And he can, and he can rob people up the wrong way sometimes. That's why I said like, he has that ability. Like,

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  See.

• 1:07:33Jay Shetty?

  He will cast off Captain America and they'll go off and form their own tribe and then hate him for a bit, but then they come back in the end. You know, it's that kind of, you know, the ability to push people up, push people the wrong way sometimes.

• 1:07:43Speaker 01

  So Spider-Man's the new leader now?

• 1:07:44Jay Shetty?

  Spider-Man, is he?

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what they're setting up.

• 1:07:46Jay Shetty?

  Really? Oh, I did.

• 1:07:48Speaker 01

  But he's setting it, they're setting it up.

• 1:07:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  With this new film. Anyway, nonetheless.

• 1:07:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Anyway, so I'll get.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  Cool. Next. Good.

• 1:07:53Jay Shetty?

  I'm glad we got there and I'm glad that you agreed. I want to hear what you think next.

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  What do you think, Rog?

• 1:07:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Think about it. Think about it. You tell me next time I see you. Yeah. Think about it. Okay. Second question. Uh, you have a videos titled, "The dumb stuff you buy owns you."

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:08:07Jay Shetty?

  Which I love.

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:08:08Jay Shetty?

  What is the dumbest thing you've ever bought?

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  Great question.

• 1:08:13Jay Shetty?

  Because we've all bought dumb stuff.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  My, my current apartment in New York City.

• 1:08:17Jay Shetty?

  Interesting.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  It made me super not liquid, made me miss out on investing in Uber. Um, you know, it's the dumbest in literal. But it established my family in a neighborhood that I wanted to raise it. So it's obviously way better.

• 1:08:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  But in the second level, you know, probably the dumbest thing that I've ever bought are the things that I didn't buy.

• 1:08:37Jay Shetty?

  Right. Right.

• 1:08:39Speaker 01

  Like, like a vacation that I should have taken, which would have been a fruitful use of time. Uh, that's definitely it.

• 1:08:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:47Speaker 01

  You know, as I'm trying to be a little bit better in communicating regrets because I can't focus on them.

• 1:08:51Jay Shetty?

  Same.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  But I wanna talk about them because I don't wanna make it seem like I'm not human.

• 1:08:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:56Speaker 01

  I could have done a lot more balance of leisure fourteen to thirty, because I worked every minute.

• 1:09:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  Uh, I wish, and, and when you start with, I wish, that is regret. I wish I had five to 10 more memories in my twenties with my high school and college friends of going on those trips that everybody does. Like, there's a very interesting clip of me where you can really see it manifest where I talk about like, I'm not lucky. Like, a bunch of kids, when I first started blowing up from high school and college, would hit me up. And they're like, Gary, you're so lucky. And I was like, motherfucker, I'm not lucky.

• 1:09:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  When you went to the Jersey Shore every weekend, I worked my ass off. It's not necessarily what I wanna be talking about right now, and I'm trying to get the temperature of society, but it's a very big truth.

• 1:09:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  Um, so I would say that.

• 1:09:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  The dumbest things, the dumbest thing I ever bought were the things that I ended up not buying.

• 1:09:43Jay Shetty?

  Love it. Awesome. Question number three. What's the worst advice you're hearing out there right now that you want people to be more thoughtful about?

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Uh, all of it, because it lacks self-awareness. It lacks pushing people into self-awareness, and it lacks context.

• 1:09:59Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  Anything, all advice right now is a problem, including all of mine. Be- it's why I'm trying to make them, make it about them. Um, there's a lot of bad advice, brother.

• 1:10:10Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  Like, if somebody watches me and gets fired up to start a business, and they're a schlemiel and can't do a business, they're going down a path of depression.

• 1:10:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:17Speaker 01

  If, if they're a, if they're a competitive, ambitious person, but they also went to high society education, and right now the push there is balance and like, like, hard work is bad, and we become too much of Europe, current Europe, I believe this, by the way. Like, that's bad advice for somebody, because they're gonna be depressed, because they lean to mo- into current social, you know, political correctness, and what they actually are is a dog, and they just wanna grind.

• 1:10:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  But right now, grinding is bad.

• 1:10:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  All advice is bad if you haven't deployed enough love for yourself and self-awareness to understand what to pick off.

• 1:10:56Jay Shetty?

  Great advice. Question number four, what's the one thing you're most proud of?

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  That I give more than I take.

• 1:11:01Jay Shetty?

  Love it. And question number five, which I think is gonna give you an opportunity to to end off how we just ended off the point before the final five is you talk about so much about the value of human life.

• 1:11:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:11:11Jay Shetty?

  And how rare it is and how amazing it is, which I don't know if you know this, but it's like such a deep Vedic concept, which is like thousands of... So Vedic is like the philosophy that I studied in.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:11:21Jay Shetty?

  It's like one of the oldest philosophies of mankind. And one of the biggest principles in there is about the value of human life.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  Like the, like the way I think about 400 trillion to one?

• 1:11:28Jay Shetty?

  Correct, correct.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  It's helped so many people, by the way. Out of all the pieces of content I've ever put out, something in it has penetrated.

• 1:11:36Jay Shetty?

  How does one get to, like you, when you, when I hear you say it, when I look at the way I was taught it, when I look at the monks that I know live it, when I know people that really lived that, what was it that helped you really accept?

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  Gratitude.

• 1:11:46Jay Shetty?

  And live that? There we go. Okay. Nice.

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  It's my, all I'm ever doing is trying to take empathy, gratitude, kindness, positivity, optimism, and create repackaging for it in modern society to help somebody see it. Cause life is one big game of perspective. And if you've been raised by parents in an environment and have natural DNA that makes you look at something upside down, I've got to flip it. And when I say I got to, I have this enormous love and need for admiration that I've come to realize. Admiration will not come in the form of me making the most money. Admiration will not come in any other form than if I give so much more to you than I expect from you in return. I was gifted an ability of the gift to gab.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  I am creative. I understand attention graphs. I have work ethic. I have aspirations. All of that has created one big game where I feel responsibility to be able to get this message out in a way that won't get to people that can never become monks or that won't become disproportionately high educated philosophical. I'm in the trenches with my style, but it's the same fucking product.

• 1:13:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  And so 400 trillion to one was one way for me to get people to be like, do you fucking understand?

• 1:13:10Speaker 01

  There's nothing any of us in this room will accomplish that is even in the fucking galaxy of that we haven't a chance to do something. I just don't understand. What are you gonna complain about today? That is even remotely close to never having the ability to have a life?

• 1:13:27Speaker 01

  Like what? What are you gonna complain about? Like what's so shitty in your life? Like you've got the at bat? Even if you're the worst ranked person, 7.7 billion in the world, you're born to slavery and genocide in a fifth world country, where you're raped every day, starved, slaved, lose your parents, no love. The game of life actually still creates the rare potential for you to break out of that and go on to do something and then bring positivity to the world, better than not being born at all. I believe that. And so, that...

• 1:14:06Jay Shetty?

  Love it, man. Mic drop. Thank you, Gary.

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:14:09Jay Shetty?

  You're the best, man. Thank you. This is amazing. Guys, we all knew that this was gonna be an incredible podcast, but that just blew the roof off. It was one of those, it was such a revelation. And that's what I loved about this podcast, that it wasn't a Q and A, it wasn't a thought process, it was a revelation. I felt like you were revealing things as you reflected and introspected and more was brewing up.

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  Can I say one last thing? That thing might be funny. Hearing you say that, what comes to mind is, this is historically what I've done, completely predicated on the respect I have for the other individual. When I, I've always been fascinated by, a lot of people early on in my career is like, "You steamroll everybody." I'm like, "Cause I don't respect them." Or because I know what they're gonna say and I just have that ability to interrupt, which I'm trying to work on. You know, I revealed and wanted to go deeper because I respect you and more importantly, your audience. So I enjoyed it. And my admins are looking at me like crazy, because everyone's freaking out. So let's get out of here. See ya.

• 1:15:05Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, man. Thank you, bro. That was amazing. Yeah, thank you, man.

• 1:15:14Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for listening through to the end of that episode. I hope you're gonna share this all across social media. Let people know that you're subscribed to On Purpose. Let me know, post it, tell me what a difference it's making in your life. I would love to see your thoughts. I can't wait for this incredibly conscious community we're creating of purposeful people. You're now a part of the tribe, a part of the squad. Thank you for being here. I can't wait to share the next episode with you.