Pod Insights Office Ladies Second Drink: Crime Aid About this episode This week we’re breaking down Crime Aid! Michael and Holly get caught up in the magic of their third date and consequently, the office gets robbed. Meanwhile Phyllis helps Dwight deal with his Angela romantic woes. The ladies give Roy a Show Bible Goodbye, Angela does a deep dive on the Pennsylvania Anthracite Heritage Museum, and Jenna reveals why Wikipedia doesn’t have an “Office Robbery Statistics” page. Also, there’s a lot of great talk about auctions. So enjoy this episode, and remember “Crime reduces innocence, makes everyone angry, I declare”!
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Transcript 10,553 words · 5 speakers
0:01 Speaker 00 Welcome to our second drink of Crime Aid. We have some fantastic behind the scenes details from the writer of this episode, Charlie Grandy.
0:08 Speaker 01 And Jen Salata also shares about directing this episode. It was her first time directing on The Office. What a debut for her.
0:16 Speaker 00 I know.
0:17 Speaker 01 It's got so many classic moments.
0:19 Speaker 00 So many. Okay, let's start with the fan favorite moment from Lisa R. in Plumas Lake, California, and Melanie D. from Austin, Texas. It's when Michael explains what Crime Aid stands for. Melanie said, "Ladies, when Michael says that Crime Aid means crime reduces innocence, makes everyone angry, I declare..." I laugh every time. "I'm curious if there were any alts for that." Well, we did share that the writer, Charlie Grandy, came up with that acronym by himself. But I went to the Candy Bag Alts because I was curious, and I went to the original table draft of the script to see if there were any other versions. And Melanie, Charlie nailed it from the very beginning.
1:01 Speaker 00 "Crime reduces innocence, makes everyone angry, I declare," was in all of the early drafts of the scripts. No alts needed when something is that funny.
1:10 Speaker 01 I mean, every time you just said it, it made me laugh out loud.
1:13 Speaker 00 I know, I know.
1:13 Speaker 01 It's so ridic-
1:18 Speaker 01 I'm really tickled. Our next fan favorite moment comes from Cecilia W. in Shawnee, Kansas, who says, "My favorite scene in Crime Aid is when Daryl says that Michael gave him a list of his favorite Bruce Springsteen songs, and then three of them were from Huey Lewis and the News. I have a playlist of songs featured on the show, and I laughed so hard thinking of the scene whenever the Huey Lewis songs come on."
1:44 Speaker 00 That is such a great idea, to make a playlist of all the songs that were on The Office.
1:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:49 Speaker 00 And then you can, like, think about the episode they were in.
1:52 Speaker 01 That's very fun.
1:54 Speaker 00 Cecilia, I love that. All right, we did have a moment that got a fan mail flurry, and that was the scenes between Dwight and Phyllis. Michaela L. from Peoria, Arizona, loved that storyline. So did Christine R. from East Grand Rapids, Michigan. She said, "I loved when Phyllis told Dwight, 'I think we all deserve someone who wants to be with us.' It's just so sweet." And Soyeon J. from South Korea, but they let us know they now live in Germany. Soyeon said, "Hello, ladies. Can you please talk more about that moment between Dwight and Phyllis? I know The Office is a sitcom, but Rain and Phyllis's acting, like how they portrayed an emotional moment where Dwight and Phyllis are both so hurt, was so powerful that I was awestruck." Well, Soyeon, we also loved this scene. We describe it in our breakdown,
2:38 Speaker 00 but we didn't play it, and I really think we should hear it.
2:41 Speaker 02 Listen, she ignored my ultimatum. Now what?
2:44 Speaker 03 Now you move on.
2:46 Speaker 02 OK, fine, I've moved on. Now how do I get her back?
2:50 Speaker 03 Well, Dwight, I don't think you do. I think you've got your answer.
2:55 Speaker 02 Wait, that's it? That's your advice? I thought you had some kind of big master plan.
3:01 Speaker 03 Well, I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us.
3:06 Speaker 02 Oh, I get it. You're trying to secure your place as head of the party planning committee. You're just being selfish. And you slapped like a girl.
3:21 Speaker 01 I mean, it's one of those scenes that happens on the show sometimes, where you're expecting it to end as a joke or a comedic moment, but it doesn't. It's heavy. It's more dramatic.
3:36 Speaker 00 It is more dramatic, and it's always done so well by our writers, where they set it up in a joke way, and that's what fools you. It's like, he gets her to go to the parking lot to have this conversation by telling her she has a flat tire.
3:48 Speaker 01 Right, and she's actually made it a flat tire as well.
3:51 Speaker 00 Yeah, and she's like, "You could have just said you wanted to talk."
3:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:53 Speaker 00 Like, "We didn't have to do this." And then it gets dramatic, and then you see Dwight's heart break, and then she's actually telling him things that are important. Like, "You gotta let it go."
4:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, and it's not a joke.
4:06 Speaker 00 It's not a joke.
4:07 Speaker 01 Well, listen, thank you, everyone who wrote in. You can head over to Officeladies.com and submit your favorite moments for our upcoming second drinks. And now, here is our second drink of Crime Aid.
4:24 Speaker 01 I'm Jenna Fischer.
4:25 Speaker 00 And I'm Angela Kinsey.
4:26 Speaker 01 We were on The Office together.
4:27 Speaker 00 And we're best friends.
4:28 Speaker 01 And now we're doing the Ultimate Office Rewatch Podcast just for you.
4:32 Speaker 00 Each week, we will break down an episode of The Office and give exclusive behind the scenes stories that only two people who were there can tell you.
4:39 Speaker 01 We're the Office ladies.
4:44 Speaker 01 Hello, everybody.
4:45 Speaker 00 Hi, you guys.
4:46 Speaker 01 I have some big news that I want to share with you, Angela.
4:49 Speaker 00 What?
4:50 Speaker 01 Remember when we talked about my long crotch pants?
4:53 Speaker 00 How could I forget? Long crotch?
4:55 Speaker 01 I had them altered.
4:56 Speaker 00 Oh, you had your crotch altered?
4:58 Speaker 01 Well, I had the waist altered.
5:01 Speaker 00 Oh, OK.
5:01 Speaker 01 I took an inch out of the back of the waist.
5:04 Speaker 00 And now they fit your crotch right?
5:05 Speaker 01 Yep, I'm wearing them today.
5:07 Speaker 00 Stand up, let me see. She got the crotch right. She got the crotch right. Now it fits you right in the butt, too.
5:14 Speaker 01 It does.
5:15 Speaker 00 Because before, you had saggy bottom and long crotch.
5:17 Speaker 01 I know, but now I fixed it. And I, since I brought the problem to the pod, I thought I'd bring the solution to the pod.
5:24 Speaker 00 I'm here for it.
5:25 Speaker 01 Well, we have a very fun episode today. It is Crime Aid, Season 5, Episode 5, written by Charlie Grandy and directed by Jen Salata. Here's your summary. Pam is working at corporate in New York City to help pay for her life at art school. Holly and Michael take their relationship to the next level, resulting in a burglary at the office. Michael hosts an auction to recoup the valuables lost, and Dwight turns to Phyllis for advice on how to win Angela back.
5:58 Speaker 00 I loved everything Dwight and Phyllis. What a great combo. That's the thing the writers did. They like to mix it up. I was here for it.
6:07 Speaker 01 I absolutely loved it as well. That moves me in to Fast Fact Number 1.
6:12 Speaker 00 Do it.
6:13 Speaker 01 New writer alert.
6:14 Speaker 00 New writer alert.
6:15 Speaker 01 Charlie Grandy.
6:16 Speaker 00 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
6:18 Speaker 01 It's another new writer alert. So before working on The Office, Charlie was a stand-up comedian, and he wrote for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Saturday Night Live.
6:30 Speaker 00 Super funny.
6:31 Speaker 01 Super funny. After The Office, he went on to write for The Mindy Project. And Angela, Charlie said that one of the main inspirations for this episode was to highlight Phyllis.
6:42 Speaker 00 Ah, Charlie, you did it. And I love that you love Phyllis.
6:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, he said this was one of those situations where they wanted to do a storyline with an unusual pairing. Remember, they used to just put people's names on cards and pair them up. This was Dwight Phyllis.
6:56 Speaker 00 I love it.
6:57 Speaker 01 This is what happens when you put the Dwight and Phyllis cards together.
7:01 Speaker 00 You know what card never came together?
7:03 Speaker 01 What?
7:03 Speaker 00 Jim Angela.
7:06 Speaker 01 You're so right. You're so right. Fast fact number two, this is the first episode that Jen Salata directed.
7:16 Speaker 00 Oh, Jen, that's right.
7:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:20 Speaker 00 I mean, guys, it was so much fun to have Jen on set. She was such a laugher. She was such a blast.
7:26 Speaker 01 She was also one of the showrunners this season with Paul Lieberstein. She'd been on the show for a while. And I don't know if you remember, but during beach games, she talked about how Harold Ramis really encouraged her to direct one day.
7:40 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:40 Speaker 01 And this was kind of the
7:42 Speaker 00 That moment.
7:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, this was where it led. So we reached out to Jen and we have some really fun stuff to sprinkle through the episode. I asked her specifically, okay, what was it like directing your first episode? And she said the thing that like really stressed her out the most was that she thought directors had to have all the answers. She was really worried that someone would ask her a question about a prop or how to set up a scene and that she wouldn't know. And she said someone gave her the advice to just kind of like fake it till you make it sort of thing. But Jen was like, I can't, I can't fake it. If I don't know something, I'm going to shout out, I don't know.
8:21 Speaker 00 Well, Jen wears every emotion across her face, right? You know how Jen feels about something.
8:27 Speaker 01 Well, I have to say, I really respect a person who says, I don't know.
8:31 Speaker 00 I do, too.
8:32 Speaker 01 I don't need fake it till you make it.
8:34 Speaker 00 I would much rather just know truly how someone's feeling. I don't need like the whatever.
8:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:40 Speaker 00 Thing, the filter people put on.
8:43 Speaker 01 I agree. Well, she also said that Jeff Blitz gave her the advice, don't worry if you don't sleep the night before your first day of shooting. No director sleeps the night before and your adrenaline will kick in. And she said that was absolutely true. She did not sleep and her adrenaline did kick in. So she was good.
9:02 Speaker 00 I bet. I can't sleep like before a big day ever. I'm like up all through the night.
9:07 Speaker 01 I know. That happens to me as an actor, the night before my first day on a new project, especially. I'm so nervous.
9:15 Speaker 00 The day before a big trip, I'm always like, okay, did I pack my charger? Got it. Underwear? I don't know. Did I pack underwear? I don't know. I don't know. Oh my God, I gotta get up. I gotta go look. Like, I can't like sleep the night before anything big.
9:28 Speaker 01 All right. Are you ready for fast fact number three?
9:31 Speaker 00 Yes.
9:32 Speaker 01 Roy is back.
9:34 Speaker 00 Oh, yes, he is.
9:36 Speaker 01 He comes back in this episode and it's a huge surprise. It's so well done. The writers said they were always looking for ways to bring David back.
9:45 Speaker 00 Well, I hadn't seen this episode in a long time. And when I watched it and he walked in, I was like, oh, God, Roy's here. And now he's with Jim. Oh, no, no, no. Like, I completely forgot.
9:55 Speaker 01 I have a show Bible summary of Roy Anderson. Remember, we never did a show Bible goodbye for him. So I thought maybe let's remember Roy since we're gonna see him this week.
10:06 Speaker 00 Let's do it.
10:07 Speaker 01 Roy Anderson worked in the warehouse at Dunder Mifflin. He was engaged to Pam for three years. They went to high school together. He was on the football team and he hoped they would go to Mexico for their honeymoon. He has wave runners that he bought with his brother, which they eventually sold at a loss. He has a truck. He would carpool to work with Pam. He thinks Angela's kind of hot.
10:34 Speaker 01 He plays fantasy football and he is eventually fired after he tries to attack Jim. He apologizes to Pam and moves on until this episode when he runs into Jim at a bar and it is revealed he's been working at Vitamin World.
10:49 Speaker 00 Vitamin Shoppe is what his shirt said.
10:52 Speaker 01 It did? I thought it said Vitamin World.
10:55 Speaker 00 It said Vitamin Shoppe, S-H-O-P-P-E.
10:58 Speaker 01 Hmm, I'm gonna revisit that, I guess. I'll take another look at his shirt, although I do believe you.
11:06 Speaker 00 Well, now I'm having that moment like, wait, I'm pretty sure it said Vitamin Shoppe.
11:10 Speaker 01 Oh dear.
11:11 Speaker 00 Oh, Lord. Time code.
11:13 Speaker 01 We need a time code. Well, lady, that's all I got.
11:16 Speaker 00 I've got some fun tidbits. There was good deleted scenes for this one.
11:20 Speaker 01 All right. Well, should we take a break and then we'll get to it?
11:22 Speaker 00 Let's get to it.
11:23 Speaker 01 I like it.
11:34 Speaker 01 We are back and Pam is working in an office. What's going on? Why isn't she in art school? I'm confused.
11:43 Speaker 00 It looks a lot like a paper company.
11:45 Speaker 01 Well, that's because it is. It is Dunder Mifflin Corporate. She gets a phone call. It's Michael.
11:54 Speaker 00 Of course, it's Michael because now he knows where she is.
11:57 Speaker 01 All the time.
11:58 Speaker 00 All the time.
11:59 Speaker 01 Well, he knows how to reach her part of the time, at least. There was a missing scene in this little runner of Pam working in New York. At one point, Michael's gonna call her and ask her for a slice of pizza. She's like, Michael.
12:13 Speaker 00 And she's like, Michael, if I get you a slice of pizza, will you stop calling, basically? And then the next scene is Michael opening up like a FedEx package and there's one slice of pizza, not wrapped in anything, like loose.
12:27 Speaker 00 And he starts eating it and it's sort of come apart in the packaging and he's so happy because he got his New York slice from Pam.
12:34 Speaker 01 I mean, that is so gross. How long did it take to get there? But I love the idea that Pam sort of passively aggressively or whatever, I don't know, mailed Michael a slice of pizza and he was delighted. It was deleted, unfortunately.
12:50 Speaker 00 Unfortunately, and poor Steve had to eat that pizza quite a bit and he had huge bites of it, like his cheeks were all full of pizza.
12:58 Speaker 01 Well, now we move into the episode and Michael and Holly arrive to work. They are glowing.
13:05 Speaker 00 Well, they've been super flirty. They've had two dates and tonight they're gonna go out and it's gonna be their third date.
13:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, and Michael says, in America, the third date is usually when you have sex. And he hopes Holly agrees with that. If she starts having sex with me, I'll know for sure, is what he says.
13:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
13:27 Speaker 01 So lady, Michael's whole thing where he's talking about the third date is when you have sex. I was intrigued because I remember the show Sex and the City.
13:37 Speaker 00 Well, yeah.
13:37 Speaker 01 Do you remember that?
13:38 Speaker 00 Of course.
13:39 Speaker 01 Okay, so in Sex and the City, there's this scene where Charlotte gives a big speech to the group of friends where she says she never has sex until the third date, no matter what. This is her rule.
13:52 Speaker 00 Okay.
13:53 Speaker 01 There was actually a book called The Rules that women were supposed to follow in order to like nab a man.
13:59 Speaker 00 I remember that book.
14:00 Speaker 01 Remember the rule?
14:01 Speaker 00 Oh, God.
14:02 Speaker 01 Right? I know, so crazy. So that was kind of, I think, the inspiration for this idea that you wait till the third date.
14:10 Speaker 00 And doesn't Michael love Sex and the City?
14:12 Speaker 01 He does love Sex and the City. So I think that's what he is quoting Charlotte.
14:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, he's quoting Charlotte.
14:19 Speaker 01 Except he's twisted it.
14:19 Speaker 00 Yeah, to America.
14:21 Speaker 01 Charlotte is like, I never have sex till the third date. And Michael is like, I get laid on the third date.
14:27 Speaker 00 Yeah.
14:27 Speaker 01 That's how he heard that. Well, it got me curious. I Googled, is there an ideal amount of time to date before sex?
14:36 Speaker 00 Okay, this is what's so funny is that I started to look this up and I was like, I just have a feeling Jenna's gonna look this up.
14:43 Speaker 01 I looked it up. Are you ready for what I found?
14:46 Speaker 00 Oh, no. Go.
14:47 Speaker 01 It was super interesting. It was similar to our sex timer conversation. There was a Groupon survey of 2,000 adults in the United States.
14:57 Speaker 00 Wait, Groupon?
14:58 Speaker 01 Groupon.
14:59 Speaker 00 Like what you sign up for to get like better tickets to Disneyland? Like Groupon?
15:04 Speaker 01 Yeah. I was so confused why Groupon was asking people this question.
15:10 Speaker 00 Okay.
15:11 Speaker 01 But it's their survey. They wanted to know how long people waited to have sex with a new partner. Now, I'm just saying, if your Groupon app like sent you this question, would you answer it? I would not answer. I'd be like, Groupon, this is not your business.
15:26 Speaker 00 Groupon, stay in your lane.
15:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. Well, here's their result. The average answer was eight dates, with women waiting nine and men waiting five. They also found that men were nine times more likely to be okay with having sex on the first date.
15:47 Speaker 00 You think?
15:50 Speaker 01 All right, have a new study. Here's the other study. This one feels a little bit more legit.
15:56 Speaker 00 Oh, it's not Groupon?
15:57 Speaker 01 It's not Groupon.
15:58 Speaker 00 You don't get free steak?
16:02 Speaker 00 If like eight of you sign up?
16:06 Speaker 01 What other surveys has Groupon been having?
16:09 Speaker 00 Sex therapists of America, log on to Groupon. Oh, my gosh.
16:15 Speaker 01 All right, this one is from the Journal of Sex Research.
16:19 Speaker 00 Sounds a little bit more official. No offense, Groupon.
16:22 Speaker 01 Also maybe made up, but they analyzed nearly 11,000 unmarried adults who were in serious or steady relationships.
16:32 Speaker 00 Okay.
16:33 Speaker 01 They asked them, at what point in your relationship did you have sex? 51% waited a few weeks.
16:41 Speaker 01 Thirty-eight percent had sex either on the first date or within two weeks. Eleven percent had sex before their first date.
16:52 Speaker 00 What? How do you do that?
16:53 Speaker 01 I don't know. Like, they had sex and then they started dating.
16:58 Speaker 00 Oh, my gosh.
16:59 Speaker 01 Yeah. So this isn't exactly saying number of dates, but more like period of time.
17:04 Speaker 00 Okay.
17:05 Speaker 01 They also found that the timing of people's first sexual encounter did not impact their feelings about the relationship in the long run in a meaningful way. So, everybody was happy whether they banged before their first date or three weeks later.
17:21 Speaker 00 That book, The Rules on How to Nab Your Man, that would just throw their theories out the window.
17:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's right. Journal of Sex Research. There was one thing. They said that the people who had sex earlier tended to be slightly less satisfied now in their relationship.
17:38 Speaker 00 Oh, so there was nothing to, like, look forward to?
17:41 Speaker 01 Well, that was one of their theories. One of the theories was that since they'd been having sex longer, you know, that early sex was maybe more exciting, and since they'd been at it for a bit longer, since they started earlier, maybe it's lost its shine.
17:56 Speaker 00 Hmm.
17:57 Speaker 01 I don't know. Everything I read, Ange, said, "The best thing you can do is figure out what sex means to you. If sex means physical pleasure, then find someone who agrees. If sex means I'm in a committed relationship, find a partner that agrees. And then you'll have, like, a really good sexual encounter." That was the advice.
18:19 Speaker 00 Well, Jenna, at the end of all of your research, I have found nuggets from Groupon and the Sex Journal people? What?
18:29 Speaker 01 Journal of Sex Research.
18:30 Speaker 00 Thank you. All good nuggets there.
18:33 Speaker 01 Yeah. Well, listen, while Michael was obsessed with the idea that he might get to have sex tonight, Andy is passing out save the date cards. Andy is excited because he's getting married.
18:45 Speaker 00 He's very excited. He's calling everyone, like, "D-money, J-money." At 2 minutes 44 seconds, Dwight opens this invitation. He is clearly concerned that there's a save the date. When he opens the envelope, all this confetti comes out.
19:02 Speaker 01 I know.
19:04 Speaker 00 Rain's reaction is Dwight to it was so funny, but that is my husband's reaction to it. We were invited to a baby shower and we opened the envelope. Now, listen, I'm expecting the confetti in some wedding invitations now. It's become a thing, right? You open the envelope and little wedding bells and things come out of it. I was not expecting confetti out of a baby shower. We opened the envelope and my husband doesn't open anything gently. So he kind of tore into the envelope and all these little bitty baby bottles and baby carriages and little things just like flew up in the air. And my husband was like, why do they do that?
19:41 Speaker 01 I'm with Josh. Welcome to my wedding as I make a mess on your floor. I mean, I'm already I'm annoyed by your wedding. Or your baby shower.
19:51 Speaker 00 It cracked me up.
19:52 Speaker 01 You know what I mean? Don't mess up my house while you invite me to something.
19:55 Speaker 00 Don't mess up my area with your festivities.
19:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't know.
20:00 Speaker 00 I don't know. I'm on the fence about it. Part of me thought it was fun and the other part was like, oh, no, I gotta clean that up.
20:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, I always lean toward I have to clean it up.
20:09 Speaker 00 Well, we're about to have a little bit of what I call breaking the wall in the break room.
20:15 Speaker 01 Talk to me about it.
20:16 Speaker 00 Are you confused?
20:17 Speaker 01 Slightly.
20:19 Speaker 00 Three minutes, three seconds while Dwight is whittling a knife.
20:23 Speaker 01 With a knife.
20:25 Speaker 00 While Dwight is whittling a knife with a knife, Phyllis wants to know if he's okay. Does he want to talk about it? And she looks right at camera. She goes, you know, I know, you know, they know. Phyllis, sassy Phyllis.
20:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:40 Speaker 00 Breaking that fourth wall and bringing the camera crew into it.
20:45 Speaker 01 Yeah. And this is the beginning of that delicious Dwight-Phyllis runner.
20:50 Speaker 00 Yes.
20:51 Speaker 01 That is going to play out so beautifully. At the same time, Michael and Holly are planning their date.
20:57 Speaker 00 Well, Michael just blurts out. They're talking about where they're going to eat. Maybe they go to the food court and he's like, well, I mean, it depends if we're going to have sex later. And then he was like, ah, and then, I mean, this is like how you know Holly is his soulmate. I mean, I know we see it over and over again, but she's like, hell, yeah.
21:18 Speaker 01 I know. You're so worried.
21:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
21:20 Speaker 01 That Michael has messed it up.
21:21 Speaker 00 Yeah.
21:22 Speaker 01 But he didn't because it's his soulmate.
21:24 Speaker 00 It's his soulmate. So at 3 minutes 17 seconds for our background catch, folks, did you see the Taco Bandito menu?
21:33 Speaker 01 No, I didn't see it.
21:34 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's over Holly's shoulder. I looked it up. That is an actual restaurant in Scranton. It's on 211 North Main Avenue in Scranton. And that was Phil Shea getting us all those menus.
21:46 Speaker 01 Yes. Thanks to his in from Carrie Bennett, our wardrobe designer.
21:51 Speaker 00 That's right. Taco Bandito.
21:53 Speaker 01 Working together to make it specific.
21:56 Speaker 00 Well, Michael is super excited about the fact that Holly is on board, third date sex. He has a talking head where he says he'll probably get soup, you know?
22:05 Speaker 01 Something light.
22:06 Speaker 00 Yeah. Well, Jenna, there were some deleted scenes that really showed how once Holly says, "Hell yeah," Michael cannot think about anything else the rest of the day.
22:15 Speaker 01 I believe it. He is so distracted because he knows that he's gonna have sex with Holly.
22:21 Speaker 00 There is a scene between Michael, Daryl, and Angela. Like, I never had scenes with Daryl and Michael. And Daryl and Angela are going over the warehouse budget. And Michael is just zoned out thinking about Holly. Sam, can you play it?
22:38 Speaker 04 The pallet truck's got a busted caster. We're still waiting on those safety goggles. And we need a new forklift. Well, I can take maintenance cash and put it in the supply budget if Michael's okay with it.
22:50 Speaker 04 Michael, do you approve that?
22:55 Speaker 04 Hell, yeah. Fine. Also, we have gnomes living in the wall. You mean rats? No. I mean little scary men with red hats. I think they're drinking all our soda pop. You okay with that, Mike? Soda pop.
23:16 Speaker 04 Soda pop.
23:18 Speaker 00 I don't get it. Jenna, in the whole meeting, all he can say is hell yeah. And soda pop. And he just looks so goofy through the whole meeting. Like Holly has just said, hell yeah. And that's all Michael can process. Hell, yeah.
23:35 Speaker 01 Angela, I really liked this scene in the break room between Dwight and Phyllis. When Dwight is telling Phyllis all of the things that Angela taught him in life, his time with her. Angela introduced him to pasteurized milk, to sheets.
23:53 Speaker 00 Yeah.
23:54 Speaker 01 To presents on your birthday and preventative medicine.
23:58 Speaker 00 And monotheism.
23:59 Speaker 01 And monotheism. Look at all the things you've done. And then Dwight, he finally breaks down. He gets a little vulnerable. He's like, why is she marrying him? And Phyllis says Angela's not much of a risk taker and Andy's not really a risk.
24:13 Speaker 00 She summed it up perfectly.
24:15 Speaker 01 She did.
24:16 Speaker 00 Angela took a risk on Dwight and she loved him and he put her cat in the freezer. She's not going to do that again.
24:23 Speaker 01 She's not.
24:24 Speaker 00 Well, Jenna, there was a deleted scene between Dwight and Phyllis that would just further this sort of conversation, but I'm sure it got cut for time.
24:32 Speaker 01 I saw it in the script and it was so funny.
24:36 Speaker 00 It's so funny and they did actually shoot it and it is in the deleted scenes. So this conversation continues. Dwight and Phyllis are now in the parking lot. They're on the bench by the warehouse and Dwight is eating a huge sandwich and they're talking. And Dwight shares with Phyllis what he and Angela did on their very first date. This is so funny to me. Here's what their first date was. They went to the Anthracite Coal Museum tour.
25:02 Speaker 01 Yes.
25:03 Speaker 00 Yeah. Even though they had both been several times, they pretended like they'd never been so they could get all the extra information and special. Perks of the tour from the tour guide, even though the tour guides recognized both of them because they'd been there so many times. And then he said, yeah, and we corrected them when they got their information wrong.
25:24 Speaker 01 Talk about soulmates.
25:25 Speaker 00 Soulmates. These two want to go to the Anthracite Coal Museum tour, which they've done before so that they can tell the tour guide when they get things wrong. Well, I looked it up and Jenna, there is a Pennsylvania Anthracite Heritage Museum. The museum is part of an Anthracite Museum complex created in 1971 by the Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Commission. But lady, there's three. There are three museums and one historical site located in their communities. Jenna, maybe put this on our list of places to go.
25:59 Speaker 01 Okay.
26:00 Speaker 00 The Pennsylvania Anthracite Heritage Museum and Scranton Iron Furnaces, both in Scranton, Eckley Miners Village near Weatherly and the Museum of Anthracite Mining overlooking the community of Ashland. Plus there are a few museum exhibits also located at the Companion Lackawanna Coal Mine Tour.
26:19 Speaker 01 Okay. So the Lackawanna Coal Mine Tour is where Michael wanted to take the office as a reward in healthcare in the mine shaft. So this is connected.
26:28 Speaker 00 Yes. So hopefully I said all those names correctly, but try saying Lackawanna Coal Mine Tour 10 times fast.
26:36 Speaker 01 I'm gonna do it tonight.
26:38 Speaker 00 This is apparently one of Dwight and Angela's favorite places to go and they went on their first date.
26:43 Speaker 01 That is some very sweet backstory into this couple.
26:49 Speaker 01 Now we have a scene where Michael and Holly are trying to kill time before their dinner reservation. So they're playing Crazy Eights. So cute. But as they get ready to leave and they're walking out, Holly says she forgot her keys. They need to go back in. But then she says she didn't forget her keys.
27:08 Speaker 00 Not only that, when they go back in, she turns around and locks the door and gives a look to camera.
27:14 Speaker 01 Mm hmm. She's ready to get it on. She wants to make out in the stairway.
27:18 Speaker 00 Yeah.
27:19 Speaker 01 She's worried we can hear them though.
27:21 Speaker 00 Yeah, but Michael says, don't worry. Just turn this dial all the way this way and you'll turn everything off. And now they're just so loud. He's done it the wrong way. It's really pretty amazing.
27:32 Speaker 01 The following morning, people are arriving to work. Michael and Holly are glowing.
27:37 Speaker 00 Mm hmm.
27:38 Speaker 01 But there's police outside the building. There has been a burglary.
27:42 Speaker 00 Yeah.
27:43 Speaker 01 Stuff has been stolen.
27:45 Speaker 00 Yeah.
27:46 Speaker 01 We had a fan question.
27:47 Speaker 00 Okay.
27:47 Speaker 01 From Lackland A. When Michael and Holly come into the office in the morning, we saw a police car, but we never see any police officers. Was this a continuity error?
27:57 Speaker 00 No, there were police officers, but they're in the deleted scenes.
28:02 Speaker 01 That's right. And there's a really funny scene between Dwight and a police officer in the script. It was really simple. Dwight is asking the police officer, do you need any crime scene tape?
28:14 Speaker 00 And the police officer is like, you have crime scene tape? And Dwight looks at him like, duh, do you need it?
28:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly. So we did have police officers, but they got cut out.
28:27 Speaker 00 They are in the deleted scenes. That little scene is there and it's very funny.
28:31 Speaker 01 Well, there has been quite a robbery. A lot was taken.
28:34 Speaker 00 Well, I think we should take a break. And when we come back, let's figure out what was taken. Who did it? What's happening?
28:41 Speaker 01 What is happening?
28:52 Speaker 01 We are back. There's been a burglary at the office. Angela, what was stolen? Tell us, what are we missing?
28:58 Speaker 00 How'd you say burglary?
29:00 Speaker 01 Burglary. Burglary?
29:02 Speaker 00 Burglary? It's a weird word, right?
29:04 Speaker 01 What did I say?
29:05 Speaker 00 I don't know.
29:05 Speaker 01 Burglary? Or did I say burglary?
29:08 Speaker 00 It sounded like you were like burglarly. I don't know.
29:12 Speaker 01 You know what? It is a weird word. Burglary.
29:15 Speaker 00 Burglary.
29:16 Speaker 01 Burglary. It sounds like gibberish, like, oh, my God, what happened to your house? Ah, I had a burglar.
29:22 Speaker 00 Yeah.
29:23 Speaker 01 It's like a thing you say frantically.
29:25 Speaker 00 And if you read it exactly as it's spelled, it's burglary. I had a burglary.
29:30 Speaker 01 Well, what was stolen in the burglary?
29:34 Speaker 00 Okay, according to Dwight, there were security tapes taken, obviously to cover the thief's tracks. He also thinks that maybe the robbers were vintage HP computer collectors, so I'm guessing a few of the computers are gone. A lot of blank checks, Angela is calling in to the bank to cancel them. Oscar's laptop, Kevin's Surge Protector, and in deleted scenes, we find out Stanley had a delicious bottle of cream sherry that he was saving to drink on his last day at Dunder Mifflin. So now he's gonna have to replace that.
30:13 Speaker 01 Now Angela, correct me if I'm wrong, but Oscar has this line where he says, "I have to get my laptop back."
30:21 Speaker 00 Oh no lady, I have, wait, hold up. Oh my God, I'm flipping pages. The line she's talking about is gonna happen at 8 minutes 7 seconds.
30:30 Speaker 01 Now, didn't you guys think he sounded like Jimmy Stewart?
30:34 Speaker 00 Okay, there's a blooper. Oscar says, "I don't want to talk, I want my laptop back." And for whatever reason, when we were filming this, it was after lunch, and Oscar had to walk out to like the main bullpen, and he had to say, "I don't want to talk, I want my laptop back." He couldn't get the line out. And when he finally got the line out, he went like this. "I don't, I don't want to talk, I want my laptop back."
31:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:03 Speaker 00 And I said, in the moment, in character, I said, "What are you, Jimmy Stewart?" And the place lost it. We all lost it, because he was like, "I want my laptop back."
31:15 Speaker 01 But then, if I remember correctly, once he'd done it, he couldn't get rid of it.
31:19 Speaker 00 He couldn't get rid of it. And then, everybody jumped on it. So then Rain, and John, and everyone started going, "I want my laptop back."
31:27 Speaker 01 Okay, so I was not there when you filmed this scene, but when I came back, you guys saying, "I want my laptop back," that went on for years.
31:37 Speaker 00 Years.
31:38 Speaker 01 That was a bit. And I was like, "What is it? What happened?"
31:43 Speaker 00 And Oscar was like, "F you guys." But he was just like, he got tongue tied after lunch. Listen, that happened on our show. Big bullpen scenes after lunch. We would get loopy. You know what lived on Forever 2 is when I said, "You send us all these filthy emails." John Krasinski said that to me for years. Were they filthy? "I want my laptop back."
32:07 Speaker 01 Your filthy emails.
32:09 Speaker 00 Your filthy emails.
32:11 Speaker 01 I want you to know that Kevin is really, really concerned about his surge protector. He's worried about surges. This sent me down a road. I needed to know more about power surges and I am not going to bore you with everything I read. I will give you this one nugget because I didn't know it.
32:28 Speaker 00 I'm telling you, I want a screen grab of your search engine.
32:32 Speaker 01 I know.
32:32 Speaker 00 I'm going to frame it.
32:34 Speaker 01 I know. I thought power surges were just like giant things that happened, like some lightning strikes or something and I need a surge protector because of like, you know, big moments.
32:46 Speaker 00 Can't they happen just because you have too much stuff plugged in? Like I blow dried my hair one time and it blew out the outlet.
32:52 Speaker 01 Yeah. There's something called mini surges.
32:55 Speaker 00 Mm hmm.
32:56 Speaker 01 And that happens every time your air conditioner kicks on, like you get a mini surge and it can slowly damage your appliances over time.
33:05 Speaker 00 Oh.
33:05 Speaker 01 Because your house can get like a buildup of mini surges. So Kevin is right. You really need to surge protect your house. I also found out you can get a whole house surge suppressor. They connect to your fuse box. I don't even know if I have one. I need to find out because I got so worried about surges after my search.
33:24 Speaker 00 I feel like you would know if you had a surge suppressor.
33:26 Speaker 01 I mean, we probably do. That's Lee's department.
33:29 Speaker 00 Hmm.
33:29 Speaker 01 He handles that stuff.
33:30 Speaker 00 Right.
33:31 Speaker 01 You know, we divide things up more traditionally in that way. If it's electrical or yard oriented, that's on Lee. I should ask him.
33:40 Speaker 00 I'm the yard person at my house. I love the yard. I love being outside. I love the garden. I know our sprinkler system. I set it. I'm like, station four is looking wonky. Let's fix that.
33:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's on Lee. I've got my allergies. I'm inside.
33:55 Speaker 00 You're inside person.
33:58 Speaker 00 Well, listen, Michael and Holly are starting to connect the dots. They're like, oh, no, oh, no, wait, did we lock? Did you lock it? I didn't lock it. Oh, no, this is their fault.
34:09 Speaker 01 So much for sex without consequences.
34:11 Speaker 00 Yes, that is Michael's talking head. But Jenna, there was an alt in the script that made me laugh so hard. There was one extra line, and this was the other version of this talking head. So much for sex without consequences. Well, I guess with great sex comes great responsibility.
34:31 Speaker 01 Yes.
34:32 Speaker 00 And that one was deleted.
34:33 Speaker 01 That is such a good line.
34:35 Speaker 00 I know.
34:36 Speaker 01 During all of this mayhem, Jim is listening to a message from Pam. It's a butt dial message. It goes on and on. Clearly, she went out last night. Sounds like she had another volcano.
34:49 Speaker 00 Yeah, she's out partying with her art school pals. They're whipping it up, whipping it, whooping it, whipping it up.
34:57 Speaker 01 I think they're whooping it up. Yeah, and Jim is just kind of like, future mother of my children, right there.
35:03 Speaker 00 Yep.
35:03 Speaker 01 Which is what Lee said when I got home from my bachelorette party that you hosted, Angela. And I was throwing up in the bushes. He said, you're the future mother of my children. I couldn't be prouder of you. Angela says she's never felt safe here. Andy says she's safe with him because he's a very good screamer.
35:23 Speaker 00 That made me laugh so hard.
35:27 Speaker 00 Dwight has grabbed Phyllis. They're in the elevator. He had to talk to her right away. He says he knows that Angela loves him. She's practically told him so.
35:37 Speaker 01 Well, Phyllis says then you need to offer her an ultimatum.
35:40 Speaker 00 That's what Bob did to Phyllis.
35:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, he said she had to stop talking to her sister so much.
35:46 Speaker 00 Oh, Phyllis.
35:48 Speaker 01 I know. Well, Jen Salata shared that shooting this elevator scene was crazy because we do not actually have a working elevator. Remember, we've shared before that if we went into the elevator, we would shoot part of the scene and then we would have to relocate to the other building where the bottom of the elevator is.
36:09 Speaker 00 Right.
36:09 Speaker 01 And the lobby.
36:10 Speaker 00 And there were always guys sort of standing on either side off camera with ropes and they would pull the doors open and they would shut the doors. That is a pulley system door, you guys. There was nothing electric about that elevator.
36:23 Speaker 01 It is super fakey fake, old timey, just pulleys and people.
36:28 Speaker 00 And ropes.
36:29 Speaker 01 Making this box of wood turn into an elevator. Well, she said that they didn't want to relocate, so they did this crazy thing, which is so amazing. What they did was while Phyllis and Dwight are inside the elevator doing the scene, a bunch of crew members came out and redressed the front part hallway of the elevator. So they came in, they put carpeting over the tile and they added a potted plant so that when the doors opened again and Phyllis stepped out, it would look like.
37:03 Speaker 00 A new floor.
37:04 Speaker 01 They were in the correct place. And Jen said, if you look closely, when Phyllis gets out of the elevator, the plant is still moving because they had to just like slap that plant down really quickly and book it out of there.
37:19 Speaker 00 That to me feels like theater. That's what it's like when you do a play. It's like.
37:22 Speaker 01 Yes.
37:23 Speaker 00 You have three seconds to reset dress the area while you're putting a blouse on over the other blouse and then a bunch of guys are sliding a sofa onto the stage and then you walk out and the lights come up.
37:33 Speaker 01 Yes, totally. And you know, they had to do multiple takes of this. So that day at work, there were these people who just like threw down carpeting and picked up carpeting and threw down a plant and picked up a plant over and over again.
37:46 Speaker 00 And grabbed the ropes and pulled the elevator, shut the elevator.
37:49 Speaker 01 Yes. Aw, movie magic. Sometimes it's just practical.
37:54 Speaker 00 Yep.
37:54 Speaker 01 Meanwhile, there is a lot of hubbub about the burglary. Holly says her door is open if anyone wants to talk. Creed has his amazing talking head.
38:04 Speaker 00 It's so good.
38:05 Speaker 01 He says nobody steals from him and gets away with it. You know, the last person who did that? They disappeared and his name was Creed Bratton.
38:12 Speaker 00 My favorite part, though, is he goes, his name? Creed Bratton.
38:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:18 Speaker 00 He whispers his own name.
38:21 Speaker 01 Clearly, he has killed Creed Breton and taken his identity. What's happening?
38:26 Speaker 00 That's what you're led to believe.
38:29 Speaker 01 Well, Michael's gonna make everything right. He's gonna call a conference room meeting and he has an idea. He's gonna have a charity auction.
38:37 Speaker 00 Right.
38:38 Speaker 01 It's gonna be called Crime Aid. And it's like Farm Aid, but instead of farms fighting AIDS, it's gonna be us fighting our own poverty.
38:48 Speaker 00 No one likes the idea, but Phyllis. Phyllis is like, yeah, we did this in my sorority. We can, you know, auction off fun things like tennis lessons.
38:57 Speaker 01 We had a few people write in. They were wondering, why do we have to have a charity auction? Like, wouldn't the insurance cover the cost of the missing items?
39:06 Speaker 00 I think this is a good question.
39:08 Speaker 01 Charlie Grandy, our writer, said that there was a scene that got cut for time in which Michael would have explained that their insurance has a $5,000 deductible for personal items. They lost less than $5,000 worth of stuff, so none of that was covered.
39:26 Speaker 00 That's true. It's a scene between Michael and Holly, and Holly explains to Michael that personal items are not covered.
39:32 Speaker 01 And so that is the reason for this big auction.
39:35 Speaker 00 As they're sort of discussing this in the conference room, Angela's like, who would come to this? Michael's like, I don't know. Pedestrians? Looky loos?
39:46 Speaker 01 That was my favorite.
39:47 Speaker 00 I know.
39:48 Speaker 01 Looky loos.
39:49 Speaker 00 Looky loos, maybe Bruce Springsteen fans? Everyone's like, what?
39:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, Michael says he has scored Springsteen tickets and he's going to auction them off.
40:01 Speaker 00 Jenna, I have a Springsteen story.
40:03 Speaker 01 What is it?
40:04 Speaker 00 You guys know I interned on Conan O'Brien, right?
40:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:06 Speaker 00 In my early twenties? So I was Max Weinberg's intern. Max was the bandleader for the Conan O'Brien Show. But Boss fans know that he was also the drummer for Bruce Springsteen in the East Street band. So here I am, Jenna. I'm this young intern. Max comes out of his office and says, hey, Bruce Springsteen is going to be calling me. I'm going to be down in the studio. I'm going to need you to forward his call to me. And I was like, what?
40:35 Speaker 01 What?
40:36 Speaker 00 And I was like, cold sweat. He was like, yeah, he should call, you know, while I'm down there. I was like, okay. I sat by that phone. I had to pee. I was like, I can't go pee. I can't go pee.
40:46 Speaker 01 Bruce Springsteen is calling.
40:48 Speaker 00 I know. And then I was like, wait, I don't know how to forward. No one showed me that. I sat there sweating it. And then Max comes back up and I was like, Bruce never called. I sat here the whole time. Jenna, I almost peed my pants.
41:00 Speaker 01 He never called?
41:01 Speaker 00 He was like, oh, well, he might call later today, sometime today. I was like, sometime today? I thought I like couldn't leave my phone right then and there. And then one time someone dropped off a package from Bruce for Max. And there was a little card on the outside and it just said, dash B, like to Max, dash B. I was like, oh my God, I am holding a card that Bruce Springsteen wrote on that B is him. That's pretty cool.
41:28 Speaker 01 Wait, but you never got to hear his voice on the phone?
41:31 Speaker 00 Jenna, this is not the best story. I just want you to know, I waited for a call from him. I almost got to talk to him. It didn't happen, but I did get to hold a piece of paper he wrote on.
41:42 Speaker 01 Well, I got to see Bruce Springsteen live on Broadway when he did his Broadway show and it was fantastic.
41:48 Speaker 00 Did you talk to him?
41:50 Speaker 01 No. And I've also never held a card that says dash B. So I think you're closer.
41:55 Speaker 00 I'm closer to meeting the boss.
41:57 Speaker 01 You are. Dwight is going to take Phyllis's advice. He is going to give Angela an ultimatum. She has until 6:14 PM to break up with Andy, apologize, and start dating Dwight.
42:12 Speaker 00 Or you don't get any of this.
42:16 Speaker 00 We could not get through it. It's in the bloopers. We both started laughing. It was so ridiculous.
42:21 Speaker 01 This is a fantastic ultimatum, though.
42:23 Speaker 00 I know.
42:26 Speaker 01 Angela, is it time for the auction?
42:28 Speaker 00 It is time for crime reduces in a sense makes everyone angry. I declare.
42:34 Speaker 01 Yes. Michael says there may not be a Wikipedia entry for office robbery statistics, yet its victims are standing strong together. So there is still no Wikipedia page for office robbery statistics, and I'll tell you why.
42:49 Speaker 00 Because you looked it up.
42:51 Speaker 01 After the show aired, fans kept trying to make a Wikipedia page for office robbery statistics, and Wikipedia had to keep taking it down. So now, if you type in office robbery statistics, Wikipedia will direct you to the episode Crime Aid, and there is a note that says, "Office robbery statistics was redirected to this page to prevent further attempted creations."
43:17 Speaker 00 Oh, my gosh. You guys are persistent.
43:21 Speaker 01 Also, we had a fan question from Brandon L., who wanted to know who wrote the acronym Crime Aid for the show. Guys, this was all Charlie Grandy. He said he spent three hours writing various combinations, and he settled on this one.
43:39 Speaker 00 Oh, I love that it took him three hours. That just feeds my soul, because how many times, Jenna, have you and I sat down to write something, and I'm like, "Well, I spent half an hour on two words."
43:50 Speaker 01 Yes.
43:51 Speaker 00 Combinations.
43:53 Speaker 01 It's time for the auction to start. We've got good stuff.
43:56 Speaker 00 We do. I have a list of what all was auctioned off. Ready?
44:00 Speaker 01 Yes.
44:01 Speaker 00 We have a yoga lesson from Holly, sold to Michael for $300, because no one else would bid on it.
44:07 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
44:08 Speaker 00 Beers with the warehouse guys from Daryl, sold to Jim for $5.
44:13 Speaker 01 But you have to go right now. It's beers right now with the warehouse guys.
44:17 Speaker 00 Yes, and there was a scripted Jim Talking Head that didn't make it in, that would explain why he felt like he could leave right away. Jim says Pam loves Bruce Springsteen. I love Bruce Springsteen, and I'm really excited about these tickets. My one reservation is that Bruce Springsteen is not currently touring, so I'm leaving.
44:41 Speaker 00 All right. The next thing auctioned off was a Creed all-inclusive. Creed, he's auctioning off himself. No bids. Kevin will do your taxes, federal and state. No bids. Hank sings the blues and he's auctioning off his CDs. No bids that we see, anyway. David Wallace coming in strong, auctioning off a weekend at his home on Martha's Vineyard. Multiple bids, we don't know where it landed. Phyllis auctions off a hug. Bob wins that one for a thousand dollars. And in deleted scenes, Kelly auctions off dance lessons and also Meredith mumbles something.
45:23 Speaker 00 No one can tell what she's saying. Oscar says, "Fine, I bid a dollar." And then she tosses him a brand-new iPhone.
45:31 Speaker 01 That's so funny.
45:33 Speaker 00 Everyone's like, "What?" That's all the items auctioned. According to the bar graph thingy, it looks like they raised $1,803.
45:43 Speaker 01 I have a lot of fan questions and catches based on everything you said, Angela. Starting with Audrey E., during the auction, there's a giant goal thermometer, but the goal isn't at the top of the thermometer. It's like they're only trying to fill it partway up. That's a really funny detail. Yes. This detail was an intentional joke that was written into the script. In the script, it says, "The amount raised thermometer goes up to $1 million, even though the goal is $3,400, which should be written a little over a foot from the bottom." That was a script note.
46:19 Speaker 00 Yeah.
46:19 Speaker 01 So, yes, very funny little detail.
46:22 Speaker 00 And did you notice whenever Michael was being the auctioneer, if bids started going high, he would throw in a million dollars? He'd be like, "100, 200, $1 million!" Okay, 400.
46:34 Speaker 01 We had a fan catch from many people. Erica P., Rob O., Katie D., and Ashley S. When Jim leaves to go to the bar with Daryl, Michael auctions off Creed. But if you look, Jim is seated behind Creed.
46:50 Speaker 00 Oh, good catch.
46:53 Speaker 01 Jim should not be there, but clearly we moved those scenes around.
46:56 Speaker 00 Yep.
46:57 Speaker 01 Also, fan question from Catherine D., Lexi B., and Maddie L. Is Hank really a blues musician? No. So not only is Hugh Dane, who plays Hank, not a blues musician, he had never played the guitar before that day. And this bit about Hank being a blues musician was a holdover from an earlier draft of the script. Jen Salata told me it didn't even make it in the shooting draft, but there was a whole storyline where Oscar and Kevin were going to try to solve the crime of who broke into the office. And they decide that it must be an inside job because the door wasn't broken.
47:40 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm.
47:41 Speaker 01 So they're interviewing everyone. They interview Hank and they say, Hank, do you have a record? And Hank says, I do have a record, but it's a blues record, not a criminal record. So Jen always loved that joke, that Hank said, I have a record, I have a blues record. So she said, I want Hank to auction off his blues record at this auction. But it was a super last minute pitch. Jen told me they only had a couple hours to make the prop CD, which is why, if you notice, Hank is wearing the same outfit in the CD that he's wearing in the episode.
48:19 Speaker 00 Well, and it also said in the script that Hank plays very poorly. And we're all having to sit there and listen.
48:26 Speaker 01 Angela, because of this auction, I became inspired to find out what are some of the world's best selling auction items?
48:36 Speaker 00 Like what you see in the news, like Christie's auctioned off a Picasso or something like that?
48:41 Speaker 01 Yes.
48:41 Speaker 00 Okay.
48:42 Speaker 01 I have a list.
48:44 Speaker 00 Of the highest paid items ever at an auction?
48:47 Speaker 01 Yes.
48:48 Speaker 00 Oh.
48:49 Speaker 01 In certain categories.
48:50 Speaker 00 Oh.
48:50 Speaker 01 For example, the world's most expensive work of art sold at auction was a 500-year-old painting of Jesus Christ, believed to have been painted by Leonardo da Vinci.
49:02 Speaker 00 Ooh, I was gonna say Da Vinci's on this list. I really was. Okay, go.
49:07 Speaker 01 The painting is known as Salvator Mundi, which means Savior of the World, and it sold at Christie's auction in 2017 for $450 million.
49:18 Speaker 00 Dang. Who bought it?
49:20 Speaker 01 I don't know.
49:21 Speaker 00 Oh, my God.
49:22 Speaker 01 I wouldn't want you to know that I have that. I mean, that feels like a security risk.
49:26 Speaker 00 Right. It's gotta be anonymous.
49:29 Speaker 01 I don't know if it is or not, but it didn't say. The record for the most expensive work of art by a living artist goes to Jeff Koons', his rabbit sculpture, which sold for $91.1 million in May of 2019.
49:47 Speaker 00 Wow.
49:48 Speaker 01 Jeff Koons' actually has two of the top five items that were most expensive for a living artist. Also, his dog sculpture is like balloon dog.
50:00 Speaker 00 Wow.
50:01 Speaker 01 The most expensive dress ever sold at an auction?
50:05 Speaker 00 Ooh, can I guess?
50:06 Speaker 01 Yes.
50:09 Speaker 00 Was it either Audrey Hepburn or like Princess Diana?
50:13 Speaker 01 It's Marilyn Monroe.
50:15 Speaker 00 Oh, Marilyn Monroe. Why didn't they say Marilyn Monroe?
50:18 Speaker 01 Her Happy Birthday, Mr. President gown.
50:21 Speaker 00 Oh, yes.
50:21 Speaker 01 It sold for $4.8 million in 2016. The most expensive wristwatch ever auctioned. I mean, I found this fascinating because I was like, really? A watch sold for $31 million.
50:38 Speaker 00 I don't get it.
50:40 Speaker 01 It's called a Patek Philippe watch. It was in the Grandmaster Chime model. Now, does it make more sense, Angela? It was a Grandmaster Chime.
50:50 Speaker 00 Somewhere, there's someone fancy and their ears are bleeding because they're like, ladies, you have no idea what you're talking about.
50:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, we need to pay 31 million for the Grandmaster Chime.
51:01 Speaker 00 I hid this watch up my ass.
51:03 Speaker 01 Oh, boy, that watch. I'd love to know how much that watch could go for at auction. But this shattered the record. The previous record was a Rolex that was once owned by Paul Newman, and it had sold for 17.7. I don't want to tell people that they're spending their money wrong, but I don't know. Do you want to know the most expensive diamonds?
51:25 Speaker 00 I mean, does Elizabeth have one?
51:27 Speaker 01 No, sorry. Elizabeth Taylor did not sell the most expensive diamond. The most expensive blue diamond ever sold in auction history was the Oppenheimer Blue, and it sold for $57.9 million. The most expensive diamond diamond was sold for $71.2 million at an auction in Hong Kong, and it is a 59.6 carat pink star diamond.
51:57 Speaker 00 Wow.
51:58 Speaker 01 And it was the largest flawless, fancy, vivid pink diamond ever graded by the Gemological Institute of America.
52:07 Speaker 00 What do you do with that?
52:09 Speaker 01 I don't know.
52:09 Speaker 00 What do you do with that? It would stress me out.
52:12 Speaker 01 I don't know what you do with it.
52:15 Speaker 00 I mean, I'm always like, you know, you have one lamp that's nicer than your other lamps. And I'm always like to the kids, don't touch that lamp, guys.
52:24 Speaker 01 You guys, stop touching the pink star diamond. Stop it. If you have to play with something, play with the Oppenheimer blue.
52:32 Speaker 00 Do not throw the frisbee near that diamond, damn it.
52:36 Speaker 01 Stop it, guys.
52:37 Speaker 00 That's how my other diamond broke.
52:39 Speaker 01 Exactly. And no, you cannot wear my Grandmaster chime to school. Finally, I'm gonna tell you what I am assuming is the most expensive used tissue.
52:51 Speaker 00 What?
52:51 Speaker 01 That has ever been auctioned. I can't be sure.
52:54 Speaker 00 Who wants a used tissue?
52:56 Speaker 01 Somebody did.
52:57 Speaker 00 Elvis blow his nose? Is it an Elvis tissue?
53:00 Speaker 01 No, it belonged to Scarlett Johansson. She sold it for $2,050 on eBay. The story is that she had been on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno in 2008, and she had a cold. She said Samuel L. Jackson gave me a cold. And she said, you know what? I'm gonna auction off my tissue for charity. And she did.
53:22 Speaker 00 Okay, all right. You know what I learned here? People bid crazy amounts of money on really random things.
53:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. Should we go to the bar? Should we get back to the episode and go to the bar?
53:35 Speaker 00 I guess so. Well, Jim and the warehouse fellows are having a great time at the bar. Jim's gonna get another round.
53:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
53:41 Speaker 00 He heads over to the bar. And who walks in?
53:44 Speaker 01 It's Roy.
53:45 Speaker 00 Roy Anderson.
53:47 Speaker 01 Oof.
53:48 Speaker 00 He's like, Albert. And Jim's like, huh huh huh. And Roy's like, don't worry, I'm not gonna hit you.
53:53 Speaker 01 So Jim and Roy end up having a rather friendly conversation over some beers. They're catching up on life. He's telling Roy about Pam.
54:00 Speaker 00 Yeah. He tells Roy Pam's at art school and also she's engaged.
54:06 Speaker 01 Hmm.
54:07 Speaker 00 To me. And Roy's like, wow, okay. And then they kind of do like a, they don't quite shake hands. It's weird. It's like Roy holds his hand up over his shoulder and then Jim grabs it. They have some type of bro handshake moment.
54:19 Speaker 01 I loved that. Jim even sort of doubles down and is like, oh yeah, she's having a great time at art school. She was out till like nine in the morning with her friends. And then Roy says, huh, you were a friend.
54:33 Speaker 00 And Jim is like, oh crap, oh crap. Like it kind of plants the seed of doubt in Jim's brain. Like it's Pam connecting with other people, the way she connected with me. What's going on at art school?
54:46 Speaker 01 So Jim spirals and he's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go see her. I'm gonna go see her. I'm gonna drive to New York. Ha, ha, ha.
54:53 Speaker 00 Yeah.
54:54 Speaker 01 I want you guys to know that there were some missing scenes in this Jim and Pam storyline. There were extra scenes because we did get some mail from people where they were like, wow, this one comment from Roy really made Jim spiral. You know, why was he so insecure about their relationship? Now, we know he's gonna turn around. He's not actually gonna drive to New York. He's gonna turn around, but there's a lot more motivating this spiral than just Roy's comment.
55:23 Speaker 00 Yes, there was a whole storyline, you guys, between Jim and Pam that would have started early in the episode and would have built to this moment.
55:30 Speaker 01 Yeah. So earlier, remember Jim was on the phone and he got this voicemail from Pam where she's out with her friends. Well, what's missing is that there was a really cute bit where Jim and Pam are talking on the phone and they are talking about The West Wing.
55:48 Speaker 00 Yes, and Jenna, it's so cute. They share that they watch it together on the DVD. So like they both have to hit play at the same time. I thought that was so cute. I have done that with friends.
55:58 Speaker 01 So cute.
55:59 Speaker 00 This is old tech romance, guys.
56:02 Speaker 01 In the script, this scene goes on and Jim says, are we on for the next episode tonight? Pam says, you know what? Can we rain check it? Basically, you know, she says, I'm really tired. I think I'm just gonna go to bed early.
56:14 Speaker 00 Yeah, she's had a big week at school.
56:16 Speaker 01 Yeah. So, you know, fine. But then later what happens is she leaves Jim a message where she says, oh my gosh, my friends, they're dragging me out. They convinced me to go out. I'll call you later. Then Jim gets the butt dial from the bar. From the bar where she's having a great time. And then Pam leaves him a message explaining that she did not get home until eight in the morning. So she was too tired to watch West Wing, but she went out with friends till eight in the morning. So that is really why Jim spirals for a second and is gonna drive to New York.
56:55 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's why Roy's comment really took root, you know, because he's like, well, wait a second. I kind of feel like she just blew me off for these people I don't even know.
57:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, and we're just gonna leave you hanging on that one, by the way. Jim drives back and, you know, we'll work this out in the next episode. Well, back at the auction, it's 6:14.
57:19 Speaker 00 Yeah.
57:20 Speaker 01 It's the deadline.
57:21 Speaker 00 Dwight looks over at Angela and Angela purposefully looks to Andy. Dwight is crushed.
57:29 Speaker 01 She's made her choice.
57:30 Speaker 00 She's made her choice. Well, there was a scripted Angela talking head that didn't make it in. That would have gone right here. And Angela says, I'm not the type of person who breaks engagements. You should go talk to Pam. Once again, Angela is gonna throw Pam under the bus.
57:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:50 Speaker 00 When it comes to questions about her personal life, she's like, wait, who can I distract with? Oh, yeah, Pam.
57:55 Speaker 01 Dwight is like, Phyllis, Phyllis, someone has let the air out of all of your tires. Come look. And Phyllis goes outside and yes, her tires are all flat. And Dwight's like, no, no, no, I just needed an excuse to get you out here. And I love Phyllis's line, like, why couldn't you have just said it? Why'd you have to do it?
58:16 Speaker 00 Yeah.
58:17 Speaker 01 But Dwight's like, what do I do now? What do I do now? The ultimatum passed. And that's when Phyllis is like, well, I think you have your answer. It's the end, Dwight. That's what happens.
58:28 Speaker 00 You gotta let it go.
58:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:31 Speaker 00 Dwight is furious with Phyllis. But then he has this moment when he's by himself and he's like, you know, kind of like, how dare her? She's so selfish. Here she was just trying to help me. And then he sort of hears what he's just said. She was just trying to help him.
58:46 Speaker 01 That's what motivates him to go in and bid on her hug and drive the price up. Ultimately, it goes to Bob Vance.
58:53 Speaker 00 And Angela is so confused. She's like, why is Dwight bidding on a hug with Phyllis like so aggressively? It's his way of saying thank you, I guess.
59:02 Speaker 01 Yeah. Well, she's the big winner of the night. It goes for the most money because as it turns out, Michael can't find the Springsteen tickets. Can you believe it?
59:11 Speaker 00 Oh, what could have happened to them?
59:13 Speaker 01 Where are they?
59:14 Speaker 00 He definitely had them all the time.
59:16 Speaker 01 He definitely had them.
59:18 Speaker 00 Even though we learned that, you know, they're not even touring right now.
59:23 Speaker 01 Well, there's a very sweet scene now between Michael and Holly where Michael does admit that it's kind of a gray area, whether or not he had the Springsteen tickets.
59:32 Speaker 00 A lot about Michael is too good to be true, she says.
59:36 Speaker 01 Well, and you know how Jen Salata was always ruining takes by laughing on set?
59:40 Speaker 00 Yes.
59:41 Speaker 01 All the time, especially talking heads. Well, Jen told me that she totally ruined a take during this scene. She says the moment when Holly is trying to cover Michael's mouth and tell him, don't say it, don't say it. And then how Michael is sort of delighted by this. So he starts laughing and then Holly starts laughing. Jen said that it felt so real to her that she thought they had broke. So Jen started laughing and ultimately ruined the take. And Steve was like, why were you laughing? And she said, I thought you were breaking. And he said, no, we were just acting. And then they all kind of laughed at that. But she said that moment made it onto the blooper reel.
1:00:21 Speaker 00 It did. I watched it. It's on season five bloopers on YouTube. You can see Jen cracking up.
1:00:28 Speaker 01 The episode ends with a kiss. Michael and Holly kiss.
1:00:33 Speaker 00 More than once. There's a little kiss, then a bigger kiss. You guys, they're at work.
1:00:38 Speaker 01 Yeah. And David Wallace is there. He's watching from a distance.
1:00:43 Speaker 00 Mm hmm.
1:00:43 Speaker 01 And this episode ends with him saying, no, I did not know that Michael was dating Holly.
1:00:48 Speaker 00 He doesn't seem happy about it.
1:00:50 Speaker 01 Hmm. Yeah, he's not. I mean, look what happened when Michael dated Jan.
1:00:55 Speaker 00 Oh, my gosh.
1:00:57 Speaker 01 But David, what you don't know is that these guys are soulmates.
1:01:04 Speaker 01 But this is going to cause some problems for this couple going forward. We have a lot of couples in crisis.
1:01:11 Speaker 00 Yeah, season five.
1:01:14 Speaker 01 Dwayne Angela, Jam, Molly, or Heikel. What are we calling them? Heikel?
1:01:20 Speaker 00 Holly and Michael?
1:01:21 Speaker 01 Yeah. They're either Molly or Heikel.
1:01:25 Speaker 00 Heikel. Season five, shaking it up, guys. Shaking it up.
1:01:30 Speaker 01 Well, there you have it. That's Crime Aid.
1:01:32 Speaker 00 I certainly learned a lot this episode. For example, Groupon doing crazy surveys.
1:01:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, very crazy surveys. And we know the most expensive used tissue ever sold at auction that I could find.
1:01:47 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm. There could be more.
1:01:49 Speaker 01 There could be more, but as far as I could find, that record goes to Scarlett Johansson.
1:01:54 Speaker 00 Congratulations, Scarlett.
1:01:56 Speaker 01 And in Crime Aid, the most expensive item sold goes to Phyllis.
1:02:01 Speaker 00 Way to go, Phyllis.
1:02:03 Speaker 01 Way to go, Phyllis. I'd take that hug.
1:02:05 Speaker 00 It's a good hug.
1:02:06 Speaker 01 All right, guys. We'll see you next week.
1:02:08 Speaker 00 We'll see you next week. We hope you have a good one.
1:02:14 Speaker 01 Thank you for listening to Office Ladies Second Drink.
1:02:17 Speaker 00 This episode was initially created in collaboration with Earwolf.
1:02:21 Speaker 01 Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Our senior producer is Matt Beagle.
1:02:28 Speaker 00 Our Second Drinks episodes are produced by Molly Nugent.
1:02:31 Speaker 01 Our audio engineer is Sam Kiefer.
1:02:34 Speaker 00 Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Reese Dennis.
1:02:37 Speaker 01 Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz.
1:02:40 Speaker 00 Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton.
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