Michael Scott: The Candy Bag Alts

This week on Office Ladies 6.0 (our 300th episode!) Jenna and Angela dive into the Office Candy Bags, spotlighting the one and only Michael Scott. The ladies uncover hilarious alternate jokes, extended scenes, and never-before-heard talking heads written for Steve Carell, revealing just how many comedic gems were left on the cutting room floor. They also share a scrapped episode pitch that would have sent Michael, Dwight, and Andy on an unforgettable trip to Washington, D. C. Along the way, the ladies answer a fan question about which behind-the-scenes jobs they’d love to have on The Office. So grab your candy bag, embrace your “interior motive”… and enjoy! Office Ladies Website - Submit a fan question for Around the Town, Chit Chat, and Second Drink favorite moment:https://officeladies.com/submitaquestion Follow Us on Instagram:OfficeLadiesPod https://www.instagram.com/officeladiespod/ Follow Us on YouTube https://youtube.com/@officeladiespod?si=D0oKJwFJuK9txzFM Follow Us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@officeladiespod?_t=ZT-8y1gqTrJyOs&_r=1

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:00Speaker 01

  I feel like the guys on my holiday gift list are always the hardest to shop for. Because I don't know, I don't know, like what's the trend? What do they want? I have teenage boys, it can be tricky.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  No, my husband, my dad and my son are my three hardest to shop for. And I don't want to go the gift card route. This year, I am determined, I'm going to get each of these fellows something great. And I've got a good place to go to give me some ideas. You know it, it's the Macy's Online Gift Guide. You know what they have right now? They've got the Levi's 578 Baggy Jeans. Like those are in, those are in.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  And I've been buying my dad something fashion from Macy's every year now for Father's Day and Christmas.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  It's so cute.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  And he loves it.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Well, they have the Club Room Cashmere Crewnecks sweaters. I mean, you can dress things up, you can dress it down. They have a great guide for you.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  Check out Macy's Online Gift Guide for even more ideas.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  Shop now at macy's.com/giftguide to find the perfect gift for him this holiday season.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  I'm Jenna Fisher.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  And I'm Angela Kinsey.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  We were on The Office together.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  And we're best friends.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  And now we're doing the ultimate Office lovers podcast just for you.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Each week, we will dive deeper into the world of The Office with exclusive interviews, behind the scenes details, and lots of BFF stories.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  We're the Office Lady 6.0.

• 2:29Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Hi there.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Yay.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  What's up?

• 2:33Speaker 02

  We got energy today.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  We do. Is it because we're starting a little bit later? I've had lunch. I've had several iced teas.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've had breakfast and lunch now.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  We usually record in the mornings.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  I know. Fuller tank after lunch.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  You guys, we're giving you the play by play. We have a super fun episode today. I know we say that all the time, but this is something that is so close to my heart. You guys, you know I love the candy bag alts. We fell in love with them during our rewatch of The Office. And today, we are gonna dig in deep to some candy bags.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  Yes. And if you've listened to the podcast for a while, you know what we're talking about when we say the Office candy bag. But just in case, we have some new folks listening today, quick recap. So on the set of The Office, the writers used to write us extra dialogue that would serve as like alternate jokes in a scene, or maybe an alternate take on a talking head.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Exactly. And then sometimes, they would write us multiple pages of alts. And Greg was worried that we would get grumpy about having to learn all these extra lines. So he came up with this sort of phrase called candy bag, because his theory was, well, basically, who's ever sad about getting a bag of candy?

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Isn't that such a way that one would manipulate Michael Scott specifically?

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Yes. Greg said that he sort of thought of us as like his children.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  And he was like, what would I say to my kids?

• 4:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  To motivate them? Ooh, candy.

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Well, what we've learned over the years of rewatching The Office for this podcast is that the candy bag alts are full of wonderful treasures. Just hilarious moments written for each of our characters. Angela, you started digging into them, and they're always so fun. We got a couple of letters. First from Marcus R. in Grand Rapids, Michigan, who said, "Hi ladies, I love the podcast. I've been listening since the beginning. I know you like to hear how people listen, and I listen when I walk my dog Luke in the evenings."

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Luke, oh my gosh.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  I know.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  I love animals with real human names.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  People names. I know. Marcus doesn't say what kind of dog Luke is, but I'm imagining a golden retriever.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  I don't know. Maybe write us back, Marcus. Tell us if we're right.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  But Marcus goes on to say, "I love when Angela shares from the candy bag. I can't believe how they could write so many different versions of the same scene or talking head, and they are all so freaking funny." And Sarah P. from Flagstaff, Arizona, said, "I've been listening to the second drinks, and I love every time Angela shares from the candy bag."

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Well, Sarah and Marcus, thank you, because I love it too. And like you said, it's just treasure after treasure. So we thought it might be fun to do an episode where we share candy bag alts for each character of The Office. And we figured, what better way to start than with Michael Scott? Holy moly, people. We have uncovered some amazing Michael moments. We can't wait to share them with you.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  But first, let's start with our chit chat from Carolyn G. in Orange County, California.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  Hi ladies. I'm also a fan of Amy Poehler's podcast, Good Hey. And she often brings up her Enneagram number, which is that personality test from a scale from 1 to 9. And she compares hers with her guests. And I was wondering if you ladies have ever taken that test? And if you think your number matches you well or not? I'm so curious to hear. Thanks.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Thanks, Carolyn.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  I know. I was really curious about this because I'm also a fan of Amy's podcast, and I've heard her talk about it. And I didn't know what it was.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  I've known what it is for a while.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  I- Did not ever take the test because I don't know what this says about me. Maybe this is fitting within my Enneagram. But I don't love things that sort of put me in a

• 6:29Speaker 01

  In a box or label?

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, I don't like psychics.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Telling me my future because I believe in free will. And like, I don't believe that like my life was like set out, like that it was only ever going to be one way. Like I believe we can choose our destiny. And so I sort of feel that way. But for you, Carolyn, I took this test.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  And I sent it to you, Ange.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  You did. Look what you did for love of the podcast community, lady. I love it.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  I know.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  I also took the test. Unlike you, one, I didn't know about it. Two, I wasn't nervous about it. And three, whatever they say, I'm like, eh, whatever.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  I'm so curious what you are. I don't know what the nine are. I just know what I am now.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Okay. I don't know what the nine are either, but I guess Amy is an eight. I looked that up.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  So I guess what an eight is called is the challenger.

• 7:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  And I don't know very much about this guys. So I guess a challenger energy is described as someone who charges the room, gets into action immediately. They have a desire to lead and manage power effectively, things like that.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Well, the test that we took gave me like a percentage for each one of the nine types.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  I have one that I was 95%.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  Like my number one was like a strong number one.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Same.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Incidentally, I am number one. I'm a type one.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  What is that?

• 7:58Speaker 02

  The reformer.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  The reformer. Ooh.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  I focus on ethics, order, precision, and the inner critic.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  It was kind of accurate. It was kind of bumming me out how accurate it was.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  Well.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  For all of my not wanting to be painted with one brush.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  My 95% category is type two, the helper.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  And I focus on generosity, the need to be needed. I don't know if that's great. And the fear of being unlovable. I don't think that's me.

• 8:29Speaker 02

  I don't think you have a fear of being unlovable. I think you know how lovable you are.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Oh, stop.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  No, you have, I think you know that you are good at loving people and being loved.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  I like, I like helping people. I do.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  Maybe there's, there is something there that I like to be of service and needed. My second highest score, though, was the challenger.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Same as Amy Poehler. I charge into a room.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  And want to help you aggressively.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  You know, it's interesting. My helper score is very low, the helper. 52% the helper. My second was the achiever. So I'm a reformer and an achiever, I guess.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Well, my, the reformer's score is 80%.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  Oh, you're there.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  You're with me.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  What's your lowest score?

• 9:19Speaker 02

  My lowest was the peacemaker. I don't know what that means.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  My peacemaker's right in the middle. It's 83. My lowest was, this makes me sound like such a basic bitch. My lowest score was the individualist.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  I just want to go with the flow.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  You know, I remember the questions that I think might have like pertained to being a person who is the peacemaker. You know, because it's all like strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree, strongly disagree. And I feel like peacemaker questions were things like, it's very hard for me when people are in conflict. It's not hard for me. I don't feel the need to make peace. I think we can spend time in a messy, confrontational space where we're figuring things out. It's okay.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't know. I have to say, I was not a fan of the test. I don't like tests that are like multiple choice.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  How would you have done the test differently?

• 10:19Speaker 01

  I don't know. This is not my job to create the test, but I'm just saying, I wasn't a fan. I don't like strongly agree, agree.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Neutral, disagree, strongly disagree.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  Did you strongly agree or strongly disagree to things?

• 10:36Speaker 01

  Sometimes.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, same.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  Same.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  I strongly agreed to a lot of stuff.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Well, you're a reformer.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's true, I guess.

• 10:46Speaker 01

  Well, it was very interesting. Sam, have you taken this test?

• 10:50Speaker 04

  No, I haven't. I'm gonna take it right now.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Oh, will you tell us at the end what your score is?

• 10:54Speaker 02

  Do you want us to send it to you, the one that we took?

• 10:57Speaker 04

  Yes, I would.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  It costs a dollar fifty to get your results.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  I'm more than willing to pay.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  I'm pretty sure now I'm gonna be on an email list, too.

• 11:04Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, your information's sold, for sure.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, Carolyn, there you go. If I ever go on Good Hang, I'll know my score. That's good, right?

• 11:14Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. And I wanna ask her about being the challenger.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, you share that.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  I do. That's number two on my list.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  I know. All right, well, everyone, why don't we take a break? And when we come back, buckle in, cuz it's Michael Scott Candy Bag.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  I have a new section on Quince that I've been shopping from. I'm now into the handbags. I got the Eloise Handwoven Clutch in a cream off-white. I love it.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  So chic.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  It was less than fifty dollars. And I needed something that was nicer for summery outfits.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  Well, guess what? I have decided this is my season of the cardigan.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  So I got the 100% organic cotton cropped cardigan. I got it in the camel color. It is so stinking cute. And it was forty-nine dollars and ninety cents. Look at that.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  Oh, it's so cute.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  I know.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  I like the buttons.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Office Ladies. It's the best way to support the show.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  We are back. And to kick things off, I thought we needed a little candy.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  Like real life candy?

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Real candy.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  What did you bring?

• 12:52Speaker 02

  Well, I wanted to know, did Michael Scott have a favorite candy?

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Is it like the whatchamacallit or something?

• 12:59Speaker 02

  Well, that's not his favorite, and I couldn't find anything really specifically. He loves sweets, we know that. But in the meeting, season six, episode two, he does try to share his love of jelly beans with Jim. So I brought jelly beans.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  There you go. Can have some jelly beans.

• 13:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Do you like jelly beans?

• 13:21Speaker 01

  I do. What's not to like?

• 13:23Speaker 02

  I know, I like them too.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  I love jelly beans. I even love some funky flavors.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  Oh, so do you like a jelly belly that has like a real flavor? Or do you like, the ones that I brought, these are just like your typical like Brock's tiny jelly beans, like the kind you have at Easter. Guess where mine are from?

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Easter?

• 13:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  The outside was a little crunchy.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Well, I want them out of my house.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  You were cleaning. I was like talking to you and you were telling me all the different stuff you were cleaning out. So I guess you just got rid of your jelly beans.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Well, I'm lucky. Michael Scott liked them, so it worked out.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  You are.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  So listen, I was also really curious when we said we were going to dig into these. And I wanted to get into the context of like, how did the candy bags work from a production standpoint? You know, like, how would they decide which version of a scene or a talking head to use? So we reached out to Dave Rogers to ask him. And we said, when he would do his assembly, when he would do his editor's pass, would he use the scripted version? Or did he have license to put in the candy bag one? Like, how were these things organized? How did it all work?

• 14:35Speaker 01

  This is very much your producer brain wanting to figure it out.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Which I love about you. Well, here's what Dave said. By the way, Dave always gets back to us right away.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  I know.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  I know I say it a gazillion times, but I love him. He said, "We would get all of the takes of a talking head, and the assistant editors would usually label them as Alt. A, Alt. B, etc. And the editors would watch them all and put into the assembly whatever take they liked the best. It did not matter if it was the scripted line, or a must-shoot alt, or a candy bag alt. Same for scenes in the show. It didn't matter to the editors if a line was officially scripted, or if there was a new joke or dialogue that a writer pitched on set, or an actor improvised. Once a scene was filmed and ready to edit, whatever was the funniest and best served the show, and that made it into the cut."

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Very interesting. So the editors really had a lot of agency to go through that footage and kind of pick what they thought worked best.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. Remember, Jenna, when you and I co-presented at the Editors Awards?

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  And I remember several people, as they got up and they were talking about the different awards they got, a theme was that a writer writes the script, but the second storyteller is the editor.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  And I thought that was really powerful.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, when Lee made his movie, The Giant Mechanical Man, we shot the scenes in a certain order, but then when he went in with his editor, they rearranged stuff.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  That's crazy to me.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. They would, they moved certain things up, or it was like, we put all the comedy in a row. Maybe we want to break it up with something more sentimental, or something more moving. And I was, I was fascinated, because that was the first time that I had been attached to a project from a producerial standpoint, where I really saw stuff from like, page to screen.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:27Speaker 02

  And it changed a lot in editing.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. Editors are amazing. Full stop. Well, let's really dig in now to these Michael Scott candy bag alts. Jenna, I did not tell you which episodes I dug into. My only hint to you was that I took things from our early seasons.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  And are you ready for something pretty amazing from season two?

• 16:48Speaker 02

  What?

• 16:49Speaker 01

  I can't even believe I found this because we did such a comprehensive breakdown of this particular episode with Greg Daniels. Try to guess the episode.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Booze Cruise?

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Yes. How is there anything left for discovery about Booze Cruise? But I'm telling you, the candy bags are amazing. So remember the scene in Booze Cruise at the beginning of the episode when everyone's in the conference room and Michael is sharing that they're going to go on this boat as part of his, quote, "leadership exercises."

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  And he has a talking head about being a motivational speaker. I want to play for you what made it into the episode. And then I want you to know that there were seven candy bag alts for this one talking head. They're hilarious. I'm going to pick four favorites to share with you, but let's hear the one that made it in the episode first.

• 17:41Speaker 05

  I am a great motivational speaker. I attended a Tony Robbins event by the airport last year and it wasn't the actual course. You have to pay for the actual course. But it talked about the actual course. And I've incorporated a lot of his ideas into my own course.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  So yeah, there were seven candy bag alts for this. I just want to share with you some of my favorites.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Here's one. Michael would have said, "I have incorporated many of his ideas. Michael, give us all the answers." No, I will not do that. I will lead you to the answers and give you some of the answers. You will get the rest of the answers when you pay for my course.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  That's ridiculous.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  And then he said, here's another alt. Tony Robbins is international. I am local and national, so more accessibility to people, thus better at motivating. I get so happy when I motivate someone and so sad when I do the opposite, which is why I stopped doing that. So wait, he stopped motivating people?

• 18:48Speaker 02

  For fear of doing the opposite?

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Of making them sad? Anyway, cracked me up. All right, here's another one. Tony Robbins is about reaching for the stars. My employees are never going to reach the stars and telling them they can is just mean. What I can do is get them drunk and motivate them to just reach up, reach to the ceiling.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  Okay, wait, I have two more. When I motivationally speak, it's like a natural high for me. I can see why people are addicted to crack because when I motivate, I want to motivate again like 15 minutes later. What?

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Michael.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  All right, so that's a little bit of Michael Scott Candybag Alts from Booze Cruise, Season Two. And then I thought, what's happening in Season Three? Lady, almost like I spun a wheel, I just did my cursor down my computer and I just landed on Beach Games.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Ooh. Are you ready? This is like so fun. The Michael Scott Talking Head Alts for Beach Games were super stacked. I shared a little bit in our second drink about Talking Heads that Phyllis and Meredith had because people had a lot of feelings about this beach day. But I want to share the ones where Michael is really sort of trying to figure out his legacy as he's leaving Dunder Mifflin to go to the corporate offices. Here's the Talking Head that aired, and then I'm going to share a few that were in the Candybag Alts.

• 20:16Speaker 05

  I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share after I have passed on to New York. And if Toby is a part of it, then it'll suck.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, this is how he manages to like leave Toby behind, right?

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Uh huh. But this is sort of the beginning of this runner about like, what is his legacy, right? And then they wrote a ton, a ton of alts, and I want to share them with you.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  Oh, amazing.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  What do you remember from a movie? The ending? You know, at the end of Pirates of the Caribbean, when Johnny Depp goes, "Arg!" That's all I remember from that movie, and it was my favorite movie, too. So through all the ups and downs, all the trials and tribianis, when they remember Michael Scott and Scranton, they're going to remember, it was a day at the beach. "Arg!"

• 21:08Speaker 01

  Most of all, I love that he says trials and tribis. Do you think he loved friends? He must have loved friends, right?

• 21:16Speaker 02

  Of course, Michael loved friends.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Of course. Here's another one. "One of the best fortune cookies I ever got, quote, 'Live so that your name will be written in hearts, not in stone.' And an all-time best, quote, 'Help, I am trapped in a fortune cookie factory.' That's what I want people to remember of the days I spent in Scranton. Jokes, games, hugs. Quote, 'Working for Michael was like a day at the beach.'" But if that doesn't sum up Michael Scott, what he wanted his employees to remember were jokes, games, and hugs?

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  All right. I have three more, and then I promise I'll be done. They were so good. Here's another one from Michael. "When I'm working in my fancy new corporate office and I think of Scranton, I don't want to remember just Pam answering the phone or Stanley writing up purchase orders. I want to remember them like they'll be today. Having splash fights and digging castles in the sand, just playing like children and maybe some of them in bikinis."

• 22:20Speaker 02

  Oh, dear.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Okay. Here's one more. "My favorite kind of sale is a twofer. Pay full price for one thing, get another of the same thing for free. What's better than a twofer? A threefer. And that's what today is. We're going to the beach, have a great time, and in the meantime, I'm going to find my replacement and the staff is going to have a fool's day worth of memories that say, 'Michael Scott is the best boss ever.' Three for the price of fun." Three for the price of fun, lady. Jokes, games, and hugs. This is Michael Scott. Last one. Okay, for real, last one. Michael would have said this. "I have an interior motive for going to the beach."

• 23:03Speaker 02

  An interior motive?

• 23:05Speaker 01

  "I can't decide who to recommend as my replacement. Not surprising, tall order. I'm going to test them all with carnival games until a hero emerges." Anyway, those are some Michael Scott candy bag alts from Booze Cruise and Beach Games. I thought you get a little season two, you get a little season three. How amazing were those?

• 23:26Speaker 02

  I mean, every single one of them is gold.

• 23:29Speaker 01

  I know.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Truly.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Trials and Tribbianis.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  I can hear like Steve doing them, too.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  I know. I'm sorry you guys had to put up with me reading them because I can just hear Michael Scott's voice so clear in my head. But I mean, there's so many that I just now want to commit to memory. Jokes, Games and Hugs, Trials and Tribbianis. I have an interior motive.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  I mean, those are all great.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  I know. The thing I was the most surprised about all those alts is that there wasn't more Toby bashing.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  Well, lady, I knew you were looking into early season candy bags. So I decided to look into one of my favorite episodes, one of my just personal favorite episodes, Dream Team.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  I was particularly curious if there were any alts from when Pam goes to Michael's condo and he's making the French toast, because I felt like I remembered shooting alternates for that. And first of all, I want to share that the candy bag for Dream Team was 54 pages long.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  That's nuts.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  Almost twice as long as the actual script.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  Now, part of that is because what they'll do is they'll put the scripted talking head, followed by then what the alts are, or they'll put the scene followed by the alts. So you have the original one to reference, but still, I mean, candy bags were thicker than our scripts.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  So I'm going through, looking at these 54 pages, and I was right. There were a bunch of extended alternate endings for the scene where Michael asked Pam how she wants her French toast. So first, let's listen to how the scene went down.

• 25:13Speaker 02

  This looks great, Michael. Thank you. Would you like some French toast? Yes, please. What shape? Square is fine. All right. So that's it. It's very simple.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  But they had all these alternate endings that they wrote for the scene. And I found this kind of fascinating because I thought that like this was such a good example of how even like the smallest moments, they were so dedicated to them being as funny as possible that they wrote alternates to that little French toast exchange.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Okay, so here's an alternate. Michael says, French toast? Pam says, yes, please. He says, what shape? And then it says, Pam, caught off guard. Square is fine? Michael, where's your sense of adventure? Pam, you're right. Triangle it is. Pause. Michael says, how about squares?

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Because that's what he could clearly make.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Pam goes, sure. There were two more. Michael says, French toast? Pam says, yes, please. Michael says, any allergies I should know about? Pam says, shellfish. Michael says, let me wash my hands.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  What?

• 26:32Speaker 02

  Hey, what were you doing before I got there, Michael?

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Oh, Lord.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  What happened? What were you handling before I arrived?

• 26:39Speaker 01

  I don't want to know.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  Okay. Michael says, French toast? Pam says, yes, please. Michael says, sourdough or white? Pam says, sourdough. Michael says, hmm, that one's not sliced. Pam says, white is fine. And then Michael, in an exuberant French accent, says, toast france. That's it.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Toast france.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  Toast france. But I just loved it. And I remember we did all of those.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  I was gonna say.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, we ran through them.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  Where we would get to like, set things up a little differently, line by line. And a lot of times, those moments led to the best take that was none of those. But it like freed you up somehow, you know?

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Mm hmm. So then, if you remember, later in this episode, Michael, Ryan, Vikram and Pam, they all go to see Michael's nana at the nursing home.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:33Speaker 02

  And they're gonna pitch Michael Scott Paper Company to her investment group, which is an actual group of people who might give them money.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  It was so good.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  So when he gets there.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Michael goes through and he introduces all of us. And he has a way of introducing us that kind of like makes us sound better than we are. But here, let's listen.

• 27:54Speaker 05

  I have assembled what I believe to be the most exciting, sought after talent in the industry today. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the dream team. From our very own Scranton, Pennsylvania, Pam Beasley. Pretty Pam is always reaching for the stars. And someday, she may just surprise us all and grab one. Meet Vikram.

• 28:19Speaker 05

  From his humble beginnings as a Stay standing. From his humble beginnings as a prominent surgeon, he risked it all to become the most successful telemarketer in the lipofedrine industry. And do not call it a comeback. The youngest vice president in the history of Dunder Mifflin and recent Bowling Alley employee, Ryan Howard is about to make a splash in paper.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  Are you about to tell me there are alts for the intros?

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Only for the intros of Ryan.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Oh, come on.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Which I found so telling.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  Because I think they just had a really good time writing alternate ways for Michael to introduce that particular character.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  Ryan. So there were 10 alts.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  I'm going to read five. He might have said, "With extensive experience in the criminal justice system."

• 29:19Speaker 02

  Or, "A maverick who's used to breaking all the rules."

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  "He knows the world of pharmaceuticals from the inside." I liked this one. "An outspoken advocate for justice who has argued in front of judges throughout the state." It's a nice spin.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  It's a nice spin on his court hearing.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Exactly. And also, "A man of substances who doesn't know the meaning of the word quit." So there you go.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  And also, while I was digging around in the candy bags, I found an episode pitch called "Michael Goes to Washington." This is sort of the ultimate candy bag, right? It's a whole episode pitch. This would have been a card on the wall.

• 30:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  And I thought I could share that as well.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  Let's hear it.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  Here's what would have happened in "Michael Goes to Washington." The episode was going to start with Michael coming into the office. He's been at the dentist and he's holding a year old copy of Economist magazine.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  Apparently, he read it all cover to cover in the waiting room. And he is now suddenly terrified about America's future.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Oh, no, this is classic Michael. Like, he's, oh, okay.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  But remember, everything he's read is one year old.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Nonetheless, he orders various people into the conference room to brainstorm solutions to America's problems. I'm sorry, is that not a conference room scene that you would love to see? Various members of the office brainstorming America's problems?

• 31:00Speaker 01

  I mean, this is the thing that Mindy has said in interviews, that she would love to write Michael Scott's, like, take on things.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  I know, like, incredible. So as they're doing this research, Dwight tells everybody that these problems are a non-issue because the Earth will not survive the Yellowstone supervolcano. Uh, side note, that is a real thing. I didn't know.

• 31:26Speaker 01

  What?

• 31:27Speaker 02

  The Yellowstone supervolcano. I didn't know about it. Do you know about it?

• 31:31Speaker 01

  No.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  I Googled it.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  There's a supervolcano?

• 31:35Speaker 02

  There is a massive volcanic system under Yellowstone National Park.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  Is that why Old Faithful blows all the time?

• 31:43Speaker 02

  I don't know. But if it explodes, when it explodes, they're saying it'll explode, probably not in the next 100 years, but eventually it will cover most of the United States with ash and sulfur dioxide.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  What?

• 32:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  It's like an Ice Age event. It's just gonna like work everything out.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  Yes. To Dwight's point, nothing will matter because we're gonna go into like a decades-long volcanic winter. Like crops will die, temperatures will plummet. It's just something to think about, worry about that.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  Okay, I need Michael Bay to get on this. He needs to cast Ben Affleck.

• 32:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  You know, he needs to Armageddon this [BLEEP].

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. You know what? It's an oppo Armageddon. In Armageddon, they send the oil guys, the drillers up into space.

• 32:37Speaker 01

  I know.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  Why don't we get a group of astronauts to dig into the volcano?

• 32:41Speaker 01

  To go into the volcano. Right. It writes itself.

• 32:44Speaker 02

  It does. Get someone on the phone.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Wait, do you want to watch Armageddon with me? When's the last time you saw it?

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, it's been forever ago. You want to do it?

• 32:53Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, Sam, have you seen Armageddon?

• 32:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've seen Armageddon.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  Like recently?

• 32:58Speaker 04

  No, no, no, not since theaters since 1996.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  Me either. I haven't seen it since I saw it in the theater. How does it that we all remember it so well? It's clearly an amazing movie. Do we need to do it as an Office Ladies does Armageddon?

• 33:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 33:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  Some are blockbuster, Office Ladies do Armageddon. We'll see.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  We'll see.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Stay tuned. All right, back to the plot. Michael is gonna choose a team. He's decided that their ideas are so great, they need to get them to a representative in Washington DC.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  So he chooses a team to go with him to deliver their findings. He chooses Dwight and Andy. And when they get there, and it looks like the intention was to shoot this in Washington DC, they get distracted.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 33:41Speaker 02

  Can you believe it? Michael wants to visit the Smithsonian because the set from MASH is there. Dwight wants to visit the Secret Service. He also has a bone to pick with the Department of Agriculture, and he wants to look at the back of the Declaration of Independence.

• 33:59Speaker 02

  According to this document, they will eventually meet their congressman. Dwight has a complicated plan for breaking into the office and ambushing him, but when they get there, it's actually not hard to get access at all. The congressman is just like wandering around the halls, which feels to me very much like the episode where like they break in to Utica and they like steal the whole copier.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  Right? It's like a very elaborate plan that didn't need to be such.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Exactly. They could just walk right in.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Right. And it says, "The congressman is very friendly and charming, but passes them off to an aide who gives them each a signed photo and a flag pin."

• 34:39Speaker 01

  Aww.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  And that's kind of how it is.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  They get like a coaster or a napkin. They're like so happy.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  Oh, I love that so much. Gosh, the candy bags, they don't disappoint.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  They don't.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  We need to do this for every character.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  And then we can loop back because there's more Michael Scott we didn't cover, but you know.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:01Speaker 01

  Well, that's just all too much fun. And now we have an assignment, Armageddon.

• 35:04Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  I think we should take a break and come back with some around the towns.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  And our office question of the week.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  I am in the process of going through my closet and really looking at items that look great, but that I haven't worn in a long time because maybe they're not my season anymore.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  You know, I'm a little older and some of my looks, I don't know, they're not for me anymore, but they're still really great pieces. So I have been looking into Vinted because my sisters love it.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  Yes. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app that makes it really easy for an everyday person, people like you and me, to sell pre-loved fashion and earn a little extra money. There are no seller fees and the app is free to download. It's really simple to list an item on Vinted and then once the item sells, Vinted actually creates the prepaid shipping label for you.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  I know. Isn't that fantastic?

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  All right, everyone, there's a lot of great, amazing items on Vinted. You should check out the website and give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep everything you earn.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  All right, we are back and our first around the town comes from Lexi T. in County Cork, Ireland. Lexi wrote in and said this, "This past weekend, I completed my first proper hike in preparation for the Three Peaks Challenge in the UK. The challenge will aim to have the team summit the three highest peaks in the UK, all within 24 hours, in support of raising funds for cancer research in Ireland and the UK. Go, team!" Oh my gosh, go Lexi!

• 36:52Speaker 02

  You're gonna climb three mountains in 24 hours?

• 36:57Speaker 01

  I don't even understand how that's possible.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  I don't either. This is a feat. Lexi, I have questions. You're saying you just completed your first proper hike in preparation? Wow!

• 37:08Speaker 01

  I mean, I-

• 37:09Speaker 02

  I mean, I know people train for marathons.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  That's right. Well, Lexi, I want to look that up because that sounds pretty impressive and I wish you all the luck.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  I bet you're gonna see some beautiful scenery as well.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  All right, next up, Julia M. from Toledo, Ohio. Angela, I think you're gonna like this. Back on May 23rd this year, the Toledo Mud Hens hosted a The Paper Night. The event featured Oscar Nunez, post-game fireworks, and a Cancun giveaway.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  Um, I knew about this because, you know, I keep up with Oscar and I saw that he was doing it. And I love the Toledo Mud-

• 37:52Speaker 02

  I know. That's why I'm saying you've become a fan since The Paper.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  I've become a fan. So, what a fun night. All right, our last around the town is from Frank B. in Lakeville, Minnesota. Frank says, "In Lakeville, we have our own hometown celebrity, a shirtless guy called Stick Man, who spends his days walking around town carrying a giant wooden staff. He's half Tom Hanks in Castaway and half Midwestern Gandalf. And yes, virtually everyone knows him. What started in 2007 as a local man just going out for a walk turned into one of the most wholesome traditions in town. He walks for hours- Every day handing out flyers are waving at passing cars with a giant stick he found in the woods because apparently Minnesotans will turn literally anything into a friendly

• 38:40Speaker 01

  gesture. Kids get excited when they spot him and locals proudly explain him to confuse visitors like, ah, that's just Stick Man. We love him. Honestly, every community says they're unique, but not every community has a mysterious wandering folk hero who spreads joy on the local streets. Lakeville does, and we're proud of our hometown hero.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  I love it. I feel like I could be that.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  You could be the, the

• 39:07Speaker 02

  Stick Lady.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  The Stick Lady?

• 39:09Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  What, what does that look like for you?

• 39:12Speaker 02

  Well, I have a giant stick, number one.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  Number one.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  And I walk around.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  And you walk around.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  And I just wave at people and I hand out flyers about, I don't know what, anything I want.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  Just friendly things?

• 39:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  That's what it sounds like.

• 39:28Speaker 01

  It's like, I mean, you, you know, I like David Sedaris.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:31Speaker 01

  And he just decided to clean the road by this little village he lives in outside of London.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  And so he's kind of become like a little local, like not celebrity, but kind of like, oh, he's the guy that picks up trash.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  And he does it every day.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  I mean, people must be so happy.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. I could do that, too.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. Plus, who doesn't love a great stick?

• 39:55Speaker 02

  Who doesn't?

• 39:56Speaker 01

  I mean, how many hours did you spend with your kids on walks and they'd get so excited if they found a good stick?

• 40:02Speaker 02

  You know what we found in our garage when we cleaned it out? Okay, this is crazy. Talk about a giant stick. Way up high, almost by the ceiling of the garage.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Cause we had to clear out the whole garage. Cause we took everything out. We put it all back in.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  shelves and all that.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  All that stuff.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  On a couple of nails. I don't know how long this thing has been there.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  Like old rusted nails?

• 40:26Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Like perched on these nails was the longest, like the, like the length of the whole wall, piece of like a bamboo stick.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Like a bamboo stick. And Lee and I were like, what? Like, why? Like someone cared enough to put these nails here and put this up here?

• 40:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, they, that bamboo stick was important to them.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  For what reason? We couldn't figure out what it was. So then, few days passed.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  Lee comes up to me, he says, "I think I know what it's for."

• 41:03Speaker 01

  What?

• 41:04Speaker 02

  I'm like, "What? What is it for?" And he said that we'd had a rain and our gutters were full of leaves. And so the rainwater was dripping down by the window on the house. You know, the gutter was full.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  He said, "I got up on a ladder and I thought, 'I need something I can poke these leaves out with. I just need something to get these leaves out of the gutter.'" And I remembered the stick. I remembered the bamboo stick. And he said, "Jenna, I got it." And it was exactly the length of the gutter. And it was pliable and it wasn't too heavy, but it was also firm enough. And he cleared our gutters. He goes, "I think that man used it to clear the gutters." He's convinced. We kept it. We put it back up on the nails.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, that is part of your home now.

• 42:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Done.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Giant stick.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  Giant stick. What a find.

• 42:06Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 42:06Speaker 01

  I love stuff like that.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  Clearly, Frank from Minnesota, we got very excited about your stick man story.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Our office question of the week comes from Sarah L. in Arlington, Virginia, who said, "If you ladies were going to do one other job on the set of The Office, which job would you want to do and why?" This is very interesting to Sarah because there's the job, or jobs, that I think I would be good at.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  But I don't want them. And then there's the job I would want, but I don't think I'd be good.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  Well, I know what you'd be good at, and that'd be like our line producer.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  You'd be very good. You would know our budget. You would know what we could spend. You would know like all the things to make us stay on schedule.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:52Speaker 01

  So that you'd be very good at. Can I try to guess what you'd want to do, but you don't think you'd be good at?

• 42:58Speaker 02

  Sure. I won't be offended.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  Like?

• 43:03Speaker 02

  This could get dicey quick.

• 43:05Speaker 01

  Well, I was thinking like, maybe like.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  What am I like not good at is basically the question that you're pondering.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  I was like gonna say like, I mean, the hair and makeup trailer is a really fun place to be.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  What are you saying? What are you saying about my hair and makeup skills?

• 43:25Speaker 01

  I am saying, I think you put yourself together very well, but we have both sort of bonded over the years of the fact that we don't wear a lot of makeup and we don't do much with our hair. Look at us today. Look at us.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Okay, fair enough. That wasn't what I was thinking. Is there anything else you think I'm not good at?

• 43:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll keep going.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  What about like the construction?

• 43:50Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh. No, that also was not my answer.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm done. What?

• 43:56Speaker 02

  Directing.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  Oh, you'd be great at directing. That's why I didn't even guess that. I disagree with your internal monologue. You'd be a great director.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  I, so I don't think so. I, I think directors, they have to be able to look at things from the outside.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  And like create, they have to paint a whole picture.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  Um, and I, I don't think, I just don't, that's not how my brain works. Like, I'm all character. You know, and from the inside out. And so I, I just don't think I would know where to like, point the camera or tell people to stand. Like, I don't see it that way when I read it. But I would love to be a director because then I would be on set and I'd be in the creative process, but I will not have ever gone through hair and makeup.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  I wouldn't have to wear clothes that are uncomfortable.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 44:46Speaker 02

  So that would be my choice of my dream job.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  I love directing. You know, it's been a long time, but I had directed some theater and stuff in college. And the only thing for me is because I do like a big picture.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  I get really impatient. It's like, there was this one gal who just was not getting the note for this performance note that I had.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  And I just needed to just be like, just, she's just gonna do it her way. She can't like, process any kind of change. And, um, but I think I was a, I think I, I maybe was a little short.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  Well, this is another thing about directing, which is that you get asked so many questions all day. I don't have the temperament for that.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  So in that way, I don't think-

• 45:32Speaker 01

  It's your wedding day, every single day.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  Do you want this color cranberry or that color cranberry?

• 45:37Speaker 01

  And then you have someone come up to you who's just like, you're in the middle of something and they're like, "There's no toilet paper in the bathroom." And you're like, "What? What am I? I'm the bride."

• 45:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  "I'm not in charge of toilet paper today."

• 45:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  But just people just come up and say all kinds of stuff to you.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  You have to solve every problem.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  All day long.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  And you have to be nice.

• 45:57Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  And patient.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  So what would you want to do, lady? Should I say the things I think you shouldn't do?

• 46:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  No, I'm kidding.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  Yes, you should. You should.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  No, I'm kidding.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  Come on.

• 46:09Speaker 02

  I don't think you should run catering.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  What? I throw great parties.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Crafty.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  You can be in charge of crafty.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  Snacks. I could be in charge of snacks.

• 46:23Speaker 02

  Snacks, 100%.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  100%.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  I don't want you to cook the meals.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  You probably don't want me to. You know what? I'm good at like one dish at a time.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  I know.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  I'm not a short-order chef.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  No.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  I can't do that.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  But also, you have a very limited number of meals that you cook well.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 46:40Speaker 02

  And you cook them well.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  I cook them well. Josh is amazing.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  I'm gonna be eating the same thing all the time.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  You are.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  If you're in charge of catering.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. But snacks I could do.

• 46:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  I would actually very much enjoy being crafty on set. Because then I could figure out what people's favorite snacks are. And it's like a love language to take care of you. I could make sure you had your favorite jelly beans or-

• 46:58Speaker 02

  You'd be great at crafty, lady.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  I would love being, I would love being crafty.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. The other one that I thought would be fun would be to be a gaffer. I love light. I love seeing how light changes a scene.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, it's a super cool, like, artistic job. Like, if there's a fakey window, you have to make me believe that's a real window using light.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  I know. And you know what else I think is so cool? And we only did this a handful of times on the set of The Office, but I've done it on movies plenty of times where you're filming- And it's broad daylight, but they make everything to look like nighttime.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  Day for night. They call it day for night.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they black out the windows. But then they'll let a little light through like it's moonlight. But you step outside and it's three o'clock in the afternoon.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  It's so cool.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  I couldn't do that job.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  Lighting is really cool.

• 47:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  I don't know if I'd be good at it, but I really appreciate it.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. Those are good answers.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. So basically, if I wasn't acting, you think I'd be in charge of crafty?

• 48:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  And I would love to be directing, but I'm not sure it would be my strong suit. So I might be line producing. I might be your A D. I think I'd be good at it.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you'd be a great A D.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  The scheduling?

• 48:17Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think I would like it. And if I were first A D, I'd get to be on set and I'd get to be around all the

• 48:22Speaker 01

  And I'd be on set as crafty. I'd be right outside the door there. But onstage, crafty is a lot of times on the stage. And it's just sort of behind like the main structures that you're filming in. So you kind of have to be quiet over there because, you know, you've got your snacks. But you see all the actors and the crew.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Well, if I were second A D, then I would be back there with you.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  And then we would be best friends again.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  Okay, so you're crafty and I'm second A D.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Done.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  All right, everybody. Thank you for sending in all of your tidbits. Thank you for your letters.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Oh, wait, Sam, did you take your test?

• 49:01Speaker 04

  I did. I am.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  What are you?

• 49:04Speaker 04

  Type one, the reformer.

• 49:06Speaker 02

  Type one, the reformer, me?

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  We're the same.

• 49:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Look at us. Hmm.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  I'm 95% the reformer, 89% the investigator.

• 49:16Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 49:16Speaker 04

  89% the challenger.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 49:19Speaker 02

  What are you the least?

• 49:20Speaker 04

  I am the least, the loyalist.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  The loyalist.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Loyalist.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Oh, that's weird.

• 49:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 49:27Speaker 02

  I mean, I don't know if it's super literal, but I find you to be very loyal.

• 49:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, me too.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  Well.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Not according to this quiz.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Again.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  I don't know what you said on this quiz.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 49:37Speaker 01

  Well, you probably like didn't strongly disagree enough.

• 49:40Speaker 04

  A lot of these questions are what bother me about astrology where it's like the questions are so generic. They could apply to anybody.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  But then all of a sudden you're a reformer.

• 49:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  Um, Matt Beagle, did you take it by any chance? You know, I did. And I also got the reformer, which feels

• 49:56Speaker 06

  Wrong.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  What is this test? The test is the reformer.

• 50:02Speaker 06

  The second one I got is the peacemaker, which I feel like I identify more with.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  Okay, so we have.

• 50:09Speaker 06

  Do we have a good balance?

• 50:10Speaker 01

  We have, well, two reformers, one reformer slash peacemaker, one helper slash challenger.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  Is that a good way to make a podcast?

• 50:18Speaker 01

  It's working.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  Well, I think it's a pretty good way to make a podcast because y'all, this is our 300th episode.

• 50:24Speaker 01

  Woo-hoo!

• 50:25Speaker 02

  How's about that?

• 50:27Speaker 01

  300 episodes.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:29Speaker 01

  Over 501 million downloads.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  Hey!

• 50:34Speaker 01

  I know. Really, I should write music.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  Why don't we write jingles?

• 50:37Speaker 01

  We should.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  Well, listen, thank you to everyone who wrote in. We had a great time with this episode and we'll see you next week.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  See you then.

• 50:47Speaker 02

  Thank you for listening to Office Ladies.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Our senior producer is Matt Beagle and our audio engineer is Sam Pfeifer.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Reese Dennis.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schulz.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton.