Cold Open Hidden Gems

This week on Office Ladies 6.0, Jenna and Angela are digging into “Cold Open Hidden Gems”! We all know and love Kevin's chili and the fire drill from Stress Relief, but this week, the ladies are focusing on hilarious, stand-alone cold opens from seasons two through five (no cold opens in season one) that don't get enough credit. Like Michael's accidental pyramid scheme in Michael's Birthday and Michael’s dream to adopt a baby in The Convention. Along the way, Jenna and Angela share incredible but true stories of people getting fired (including Jenna!!) So buckle up, get ready for some cold opens... and enjoy! Office Ladies Website - Submit a fan question for Around the Town, Chit Chat, and Second Drink favorite moment:https://officeladies.com/submitaquestion Follow Us on Instagram:OfficeLadiesPod https://www.instagram.com/officeladiespod/ Follow Us on YouTube https://youtube.com/@officeladiespod?si=D0oKJwFJuK9txzFM Follow Us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@officeladiespod?_t=ZT-8y1gqTrJyOs&_r=1

• 0:00Speaker 00

  I have a new section on Quince that I've been shopping from. I'm now into the handbags. I got the Eloise Handwoven Clutch in a cream off-white. I love it.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  So chic.

• 0:12Speaker 00

  It was less than $50 and I needed something that was nicer for summery outfits.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Well, guess what? I have decided this is my season of the cardigan.

• 0:25Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  So I got the 100% organic cotton cropped cardigan. I got it in the camel color. It is so stinking cute and it was $49.90. Look at that.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  Oh, it's so cute.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  I know.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  I like the buttons.

• 0:41Speaker 01

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• 0:53Speaker 00

  Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Office Ladies. It's the best way to support the show.

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• 2:07Speaker 01

  I'm Jenna Fisher. And I'm Angela Kinsey. We were on The Office together. And we're best friends. And now we're doing the ultimate Office Lovers podcast just for you. Each week we will dive deeper into the world of the office with exclusive interviews, behind the scenes details and lots of BFF stories. We're the Office Ladies 6.0.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  Hello, hello.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Howdy, howdy, howdy.

• 2:32Speaker 00

  Sam, do you have an update on your stolen laundry situation by any chance? Because it's been on my mind.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  It's been on my mind, too. And also people have left comments about it. They're concerned.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  It was, it's the most tragic thing that's happened to me in the last year. But no, I never got those clothes back or figured out who did it. I have had to purchase all new clothes.

• 2:53Speaker 00

  And like, how do you feel now about doing your laundry in your building?

• 2:58Speaker 03

  I am filled with fear every time I leave the room. Yeah, it's terrible.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  That is terrible.

• 3:05Speaker 00

  Did you contact your landlord about it at all?

• 3:07Speaker 03

  No.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  Or the building manager?

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Our landlords are so comically bad slumlords, they wouldn't care.

• 3:15Speaker 00

  I see.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Sam, can we have an Office Ladies date where me and Jenna take you shopping?

• 3:20Speaker 00

  Oh, a shopping day? A fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  Absolutely, you can.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  All right.

• 3:26Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  We're gonna buy some.

• 3:28Speaker 00

  Where do we go to buy?

• 3:29Speaker 01

  Some fall looks.

• 3:30Speaker 00

  Sam, fall looks. Where do you, where are we shopping?

• 3:33Speaker 03

  There's a, what's this store called? Uniqlo? Am I saying that right?

• 3:36Speaker 00

  Oh, Uniqlo.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  I love, I say Uniqlo. I don't know.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Uniqlo, I like.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Uniqlo? Sam, let me throw this out there. Still, one of my favorite puffer jackets I've ever gotten was Uniqlo. And I bought it in a vending machine at the Burbank airport.

• 3:50Speaker 03

  Don't I have?

• 3:51Speaker 00

  That's what that vending machine was?

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Don't I have a sleeveless puffer jacket?

• 3:55Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  That's for Martha Stewart.

• 3:57Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  No, this is my favorite puffer jacket because it just rolls up so small. I mean, I bought it in a vending machine. I called it vending machine jacket.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Great.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  It's like this burgundy. I love it so much.

• 4:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's like a burgundy plum color. It's really beautiful on your skin as well.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Well, look at that.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a good color for you.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  Didn't know it's gonna get a compliment, but I'll take it.

• 4:17Speaker 00

  All right, let's go. Let's go there. I wonder if there's like a movie that happens as well?

• 4:22Speaker 01

  Like Uniqlo and movie?

• 4:23Speaker 03

  Uniqlo is directly next door to the Alamo Drafthouse downtown.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  What's the Alamo Drafthouse?

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Alamo Drafthouse is a theater, a movie chain theater that came here from Austin, Texas. Everything's in recliners and they bring you like a little menu of food.

• 4:37Speaker 00

  You had me at recliner.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Hello. I might take a nap.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Please do, yeah.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  It gets dark and I'm in a recliner.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  Is there a John Wick movie coming up?

• 4:47Speaker 03

  Oh, I think so. I assume so.

• 4:49Speaker 00

  There must be something.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  All right. Well, we have a date in the making here.

• 4:52Speaker 00

  We do.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  I'm excited.

• 4:54Speaker 00

  What are we doing today?

• 4:56Speaker 01

  We are doing such a fun episode. Prepping for this episode felt like a mini vacation for me.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  I really enjoyed it as well.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Let's tell them.

• 5:05Speaker 00

  All right, well, a while back, we did this really fun episode with the fellas from How We Made Your Mother podcast, where we talked about our favorite The Office cold opens and favorite How I Met Your Mother cold opens. It was episode 288 of Office Ladies, but we only got a chance to like share about a couple of The Office cold opens in that episode. And there are so many that are so amazing. It kind of left us wanting more.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Yes, so we really dug into the early seasons. Watching cold opens, we have lots to share about it. They're so stinking good. But first, let's start with our chit chat for the day. And it is from Simone in Irvine, California. Simone says, hi, Jen and Angela. I'm writing to you from my office. I'm not on my break, so technically I'm not supposed to be writing a personal email. What can I say? I'm a rebel. My coworkers and I were trading stories about places we either quit or got fired from. So I'm curious if you have ever been fired or do you have any funny stories about quitting a job? Love you ladies and the podcast and love the office.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  Oh, my goodness. Well, Simone, I hope you don't get fired for writing this email.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  Well, hopefully they don't track her computer.

• 6:18Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  This is such a good one.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  I have to think for a second.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Me, too.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  Sam, Angela, do you guys have one?

• 6:25Speaker 03

  Yes, I do. I remember once during a fire alarm at the old Earwolf days, we were in our old studio that when you guys started at. There was a woman who left the building because of the fire alarm and never came back to work.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  What?

• 6:37Speaker 03

  That's how we found out she quit. She never came back.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  So wait.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  It took weeks to figure it out. It was really, really smart. On her part, she left with her laptop and everything.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  So fire alarm, eh, eh, and she just packs it up.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Adioses.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Yep. And then it was a good week and a half before somebody was like, you know, who never came back in from outside? Sam.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Genius Irish exit, as they call it.

• 7:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, no kidding.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  There was this legendary quitting of a job at 1-800-DENIS. I don't know if it's true or not. I think I might have shared this on the podcast, but it's still the one that lives rent-free in my mind, which is 1-800-DENIS was full of a lot of artists. That's who worked the phones, you know, actors and musicians. And there was a guy, this was right before I started there, but this was a story everyone like passed down, that he got a role in Speed 2. Okay? And he was like, I'm gonna be in a motherfucking movie. And he literally just said, I quit. According to the story I was told, I don't know if this is true. He was like, I quit.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  And he did the double salute, the two middle fingers, you know, the double bird salute. I quit.

• 7:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  I'm out of here, assholes. And then everyone went to see Speed 2 and he'd been cut out except for just his sleeve.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  But I don't think he had any regrets about quitting. I hope it opened the doors to new things.

• 8:10Speaker 00

  I mean, he did get to go be in Speed 2.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  And he got paid for it.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, he apparently stood behind Tommy Lee Jones in multiple scenes as one of the bad guys on the boat, but was cut out. Anyway, this was the story, I don't know if it's true, but I always thought, what a way to go out. You know, you get this really cool dream job, right? And then the job that is kind of the slog, you just get to shoot the bird and be like, peace out.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  That's pretty amazing.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  I know. I don't know if it's true, but I think it's pretty amazing.

• 8:39Speaker 00

  Well, my family likes to joke that I have been fired from every job on Manchester Road back in St. Louis, Missouri.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  What's on Manchester Road?

• 8:49Speaker 00

  Manchester Road in the St. Louis suburb that I live in is just a very popular road for restaurants and other establishments.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  So you were fired from a bunch of restaurants?

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, I got fired from this kennel. That was my first job. I got fired for my first job. I worked at a kennel. It wasn't on Manchester Road. It was on Wideman Road. And it was because I was letting the dogs stay out longer than they were supposed to because I felt bad for them. And I was like taking too long. And I got reprimanded for it a couple of times. Like, my shift would take three hours instead of two. And so I started clocking out after two hours and staying an hour on my own dime. They didn't like that either. They said that was a liability issue.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Look at you, a little animal rights activist, back in the early days.

• 9:41Speaker 00

  I was. So they fired me. They let me go. Then I worked at Long John Silver's. And I guess I got fired from there, but I don't remember why. And then I worked at this ice creamery, got fired from there.

• 9:53Speaker 01

  Why?

• 9:54Speaker 00

  Because, now, come on, to be fair, two things. One, I had been late a lot. And I used to give out more ice cream than I was supposed to. I'd really pile it on. I felt like they could afford it.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 00

  And I got reprimanded for that. And then one day, I didn't show up for my shift because my music teacher at my school passed away. And we all wanted to go to

• 10:17Speaker 01

  The service?

• 10:18Speaker 00

  The service. And, you know, it happened to be on this day I had to work. So I called in last minute. And I guess they felt like that was like one too many things. I don't think they believed me, but it was the truth. And then they fired me. And then I ended up working at this car wash on Manchester Road for three years. And that was, I know, I really fit in there.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  What'd you do at the car wash?

• 10:39Speaker 00

  What did I do? I did what you do at car washes. Well, I do what you do at car washes.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  I know. You don't have to be so incredulous.

• 10:47Speaker 04

  Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. One thing a person does at a car wash.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Well, I feel like I've been to car washes. And sometimes there's someone that works the register. Or sometimes there's a little gift shop inside where you can buy like little air freshener thingies or water.

• 11:01Speaker 00

  I dried off the cars and detailed the cars and stuff.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 11:05Speaker 00

  It's really actually cool. I can dry off a car so freaking fast. You get two shammy's in each hand. And each person takes one side. So it's two people per car. And the car comes out and you dry your side.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  Shammy, shammy, shammy.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  Shammy, shammy, shammy your side. And they want that car dried fast. I loved it. I worked outside. It was awesome. But then a lot of times

• 11:28Speaker 01

  You got great arm muscles.

• 11:29Speaker 00

  I did. They made me do the windows, which sucks. The windows suck. And they made me do it because I was a girl and I was smaller and I could get into the back more easily. So then I'd have to take Windex and do all the interior car windows. And like wipe off the dash and everything. I didn't like doing that. I really loved trying to dry off one half of a car in like 30 seconds or less. That was my happy place.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  You like a clock and a goal.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 00

  You could have also worked the vacuum section. But they never put me on vacuum because the rumor was that they were running drugs through the vacuum section.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  What?

• 12:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, that like deliveries of cocaine would come

• 12:11Speaker 01

  What?

• 12:12Speaker 00

  In the cars. And then they had this like

• 12:14Speaker 04

  You buried the lead here.

• 12:15Speaker 00

  They said, they had this group of guys that only worked the vacuums. And like, you couldn't permeate the vacuums. And so like, all the high school kids worked the front. And then there were these kind of like sketchy guys that worked the vacuums.

• 12:29Speaker 01

  And this is like an episode of Breaking Bad.

• 12:32Speaker 00

  Yes. Guys, I'm not even kidding. When I saw the car wash on Breaking Bad, I was like, that's how you do it. That's exactly right. We think there was some money laundering and some drug running through the vacuum part.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Holy crap.

• 12:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  I'm never gonna look at a car wash the same way again. Especially the vacuum section.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  I lived it, y'all. I lived it.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Well, my goodness. Matt, are you there? Can you top that?

• 12:56Speaker 04

  Jenna, I can't believe you've been fired from so many places.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  What can I say? But not the drug running car wash.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  Mm-mm.

• 13:02Speaker 00

  Money laundering. They loved me.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  They loved your innocent face. You're like the front man.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  I've never been fired from anywhere. But I'll say that my first day on Office Ladies was maybe my first, most stressful, worst first day of any job. And I don't know if you remember, but when I came down to LA to meet you all

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember.

• 13:21Speaker 04

  For the very first day. You know, I was coming down to meet Jenna and Angela and Sam. You know, wanted to show them that they made the right choice. I was professional. On the plane, my water bottle inside my backpack had opened and leaked and completely flooded my laptop. And it had fried and was just completely submerged in water. And I was supposed to like help with the recording session. I had no laptop and was running through the streets to find a computer repair shop for them to take it apart and dry it. So that was definitely my worst first day of a job anywhere. But look, it all worked out.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  And we were hard on you. We had no sympathy for you. We were like, I can't believe this.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  Everyone was still a giant

• 14:01Speaker 04

  Oh, this

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Thing of water in your lap during the meal, too?

• 14:04Speaker 04

  You did.

• 14:04Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, that's right. We went out for a meal.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  And Sam spilled his water and Matt's

• 14:09Speaker 04

  But I actually felt so comforted because I felt so embarrassed. I felt so bad. I was like, this is so unprofessional. And I told everyone, everyone was, couldn't have been more understanding, couldn't have been nicer. And then Sam goes, dude, don't even worry about it. I've ruined three different laptops with Diet Coke on three different occasions. Anyways, thanks for not firing me on my first day.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Okay, well, Simone, we never could have anticipated the journey this question took us on. So many twists and turns. That was super fun. Why don't we take a break? And when we come back, we're gonna talk about cold opens from The Office, the early seasons.

• 14:52Speaker 00

  Hello, everyone. We are back. So we decided to take a deeper look at the cold opens for The Office, seasons two through five. And we wanted to highlight a few that we considered hidden gems.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:07Speaker 00

  Hidden gems. So our criteria was that we needed to find a standalone cold open. So nothing that was on the main storyline of the episode.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, which is a little tricky, because some of the cold opens are like a little early teaser of what the actual episode's gonna be about.

• 15:23Speaker 00

  Right. So we're looking for standalone cold opens. Like, of course, a very famous one, the chili cold open.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  Spilling the chili.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Except, that is not a hidden gem.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  Not a hidden gem.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  That's our other criteria. What are the cold opens that don't get talked about as much?

• 15:39Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  So we went season by season. And Jenna, you're gonna kick us off with cold open hidden gems from season two.

• 15:47Speaker 00

  That is right. I can't start with season one, because as you all know, we did not start doing cold opens until season two. And of the 22 episodes from season two, we only had eight standalone cold opens. I watched them all. And by the way, I'm saying eight, and that's only if you count the Christmas episode where Michael and Dwight bring in the Christmas tree.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:12Speaker 00

  I think that could be up for debate.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Yes, I had a few of those, too.

• 16:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. There are a few classics from season two that really stood out right off the bat. You know, in the fight, that's when Jim puts Dwight's desk in the bathroom.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 00

  Performance review, we have the fitness orb.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  Classic.

• 16:30Speaker 00

  Booze Cruise, Jim puts Dwight's stuff in a vending machine. And in The Secret, we have what's up, dog.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 00

  But I'm giving the prize for cold open season two hidden gem to Michael's birthday. This is when Michael falls for a pyramid scheme.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 16:47Speaker 00

  Let's listen.

• 16:49Speaker 05

  So Phil recruited me to sell these cards. And now I am recruiting you.

• 16:53Speaker 06

  Who is this guy again?

• 16:54Speaker 05

  Don't worry about Phil. He drives a Corvette. He is doing just fine. Okay. Calling cards are the wave of the future. These things sell themselves.

• 17:03Speaker 06

  Who uses calling cards anyway?

• 17:04Speaker 05

  You know what? That's a nice attitude, Ryan. I'm just helping you invest in your future, my friend.

• 17:09Speaker 06

  It sounds like a get rich quick scheme.

• 17:10Speaker 05

  Yes, thank you. You will get rich quick. We all will. Can you lose a lot of money on that other investment, that one from the email? You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay? All right. So raise your hand if you wanna get rich. All right.

• 17:32Speaker 06

  No. How is this not a pyramid scheme?

• 17:36Speaker 05

  All right, let me explain. Again.

• 17:41Speaker 05

  Phil has recruited me and another guy. Now, we are getting three people each. The more people that get involved, the more people who are investing, the more money we're all gonna make. It's not a pyramid scheme. It is a, it's not even a scheme, per se. It's

• 17:56Speaker 00

  This is when Jim draws a pyramid around Michael's marks on the page. And it's clearly a pyramid. I have to go make a call.

• 18:11Speaker 00

  Oh my goodness. So yeah, in this scene, Michael is standing in front of this easel. And we did not discuss this the first time we broke down this episode. And I really want to discuss what was written on the page that he flips over.

• 18:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:27Speaker 00

  Because this is his pitch to these guys. These are his steps for why this is going to be a great deal.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:34Speaker 00

  So first of all, he has written $3,700 equals $1,250,000. So the buy-in for his pyramid scheme is $3,700, which is somehow going to turn into 1.25 million.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  My gosh.

• 18:52Speaker 00

  So then it says, "Ask," but then he has crossed that out. And it says, "Tell your friends." "Under two hours per week, be your own boss." And "X equals Y not." It's really interesting because all this script said was, quote, "Michael is standing next to an easel. On the easel are numbers and simple equations. Beside it is a crude display of calling cards." So that means at some point, this is how that script note was interpreted.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  "X equals Y not" is hilarious.

• 19:23Speaker 00

  I know.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  And you can just picture Michael getting this pitch from Phil, the guy that drove the Corvette.

• 19:28Speaker 00

  With the Corvette.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  I know. So I love it. Oh, by the way, the script also revealed a line from Creed that would have been a button at the end of the scene. And I went to the superfan episode to see if it had been added, and it has not. And I really wish they had added it. Because at the very end of the scene, Creed was going to say, in parentheses, it says, "To the guys conspiratorially after Michael leaves, you know what I think? We can do this without him."

• 19:58Speaker 01

  That's such a great line.

• 19:59Speaker 00

  I know. It's such a good button. It's also a good button for Michael to be like, "I need to make a call."

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  But I love this cold open. And this is then going to become a runner where Michael is susceptible to these things.

• 20:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:12Speaker 00

  Incidentally, I want you to know when I was researching cold opens for season two, lady, I found a document called Cold Opens in my digital clutter. It is a document from season two, where the writers had sat down and just pitched cold open ideas for 16 pages.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  Oh my God, 16 pages.

• 20:33Speaker 00

  Just like one-liners.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:35Speaker 00

  And they must have gone back to reference it from time to time because one of the ideas on this season two cold open pitch document said, "Chore Wheel."

• 20:46Speaker 01

  Which didn't come till much later.

• 20:48Speaker 00

  Till season nine.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 20:50Speaker 00

  So in this pitch document, it was, "Michael makes a chore wheel." But in season nine, it became, "Pam makes a chore wheel."

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Oh, that's so fun.

• 20:58Speaker 00

  I thought that was kind of crazy.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  And can I just say something? Sometimes it pays to have digital clutter.

• 21:06Speaker 00

  It really did.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  Look at that. Look at you found.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  I know.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  This makes my heart very happy.

• 21:11Speaker 00

  I thought it might.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  All right, Ange, what do you have for season three?

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Oh my goodness. Season three is a juggernaut for cold opens. I literally wrote the word juggernaut.

• 21:23Speaker 00

  In your notes?

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Yes. And I had the best time rewatching them all. I got myself a cup of tea and I sat in my little cozy nook at home. And I just got to just absorb the world of season three cold opens. It was such a treat. So we had 25 episodes in season three. By my count, there are 15 standalone cold opens. That is, if you include Dwight bringing in the dead goose in Benihana Christmas, part one.

• 21:51Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Because we don't ever see the goose again, you know?

• 21:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  And then Michael, this one was really funny, but I think Michael pretending to be the voice of Hannah's baby in The Convict.

• 22:03Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Could also be seen as a standalone.

• 22:05Speaker 00

  I think so.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's so cringey.

• 22:07Speaker 00

  So cringey.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  He like crawls under her desk.

• 22:09Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  Anyway. But before I share my hidden gems, lady, I really wanted to shout out some of the fan favorite cold opens for the season because it really gives you the idea of just how many classic cold opens are in season three.

• 22:23Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  Here's a little list. Michael's Movie Mondays from the coup.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Michael's pencil in the warehouse bit. Remember where he stacks the paper boxes? And is like, "I'm gonna get a pencil from the warehouse." And then he slowly scooches behind the boxes.

• 22:39Speaker 00

  Oh, yes.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  Okay. The faxes from future Dwight. Harvey the Talking Computer. Michael's video message to his future son and Ben Franklin. That's when he wants to show his son how to undo a bra.

• 22:52Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  And he makes Dwight wear a bra. Jim's Pavlovian Experiment prank on Dwight. Yes, that one's amazing. Michael's attempt at getting out of a straitjacket.

• 23:03Speaker 00

  Oh, yes.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  And lastly, a huge fan favorite is Jim dressing and acting like Dwight in Product Recall. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  That might be the most famous.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  From season three.

• 23:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  I agree. Okay. So look at all of those, right? And you might be asking, what else was there? But lady, there were several hidden gems in this season. And I know I'm only supposed to pick one, but I'd like to pick three.

• 23:30Speaker 00

  Three?

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Is that too many?

• 23:32Speaker 00

  No, do it. It's your podcast.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  I'm like Simone in Irvine, California and being a rebel.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  You really are. That's what this episode is about.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  It's about being a rebel. All right. So the first one is from the convention. Michael wants a baby, lady.

• 23:47Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:50Speaker 05

  Pam?

• 23:51Speaker 00

  Yeah?

• 23:52Speaker 05

  Did you see Oprah yesterday?

• 23:54Speaker 00

  No, I didn't.

• 23:55Speaker 05

  I, uh, I'm going to be a father.

• 24:01Speaker 00

  What was Oprah about?

• 24:03Speaker 05

  Angelina Jolie was on. And she adopted a baby from Asia. And she said that it changed her life and that really inspired me. So I want you to look in to see how much a little Chinese baby would cost.

• 24:19Speaker 00

  That's a really big decision.

• 24:20Speaker 05

  I know.

• 24:22Speaker 00

  Maybe you should wait before you adopt.

• 24:24Speaker 05

  Well.

• 24:25Speaker 00

  Or not adopt.

• 24:26Speaker 05

  Just do it, okay?

• 24:28Speaker 00

  Roy's sister looked into it and the application alone costs $1,000.

• 24:32Speaker 05

  Well, um, well, find out if there's a cheaper, less expensive baby out there, okay?

• 24:42Speaker 00

  You know, she also said the waiting list is like eight months.

• 24:44Speaker 05

  Eight months?

• 24:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:45Speaker 05

  I don't even know if I want a baby in eight months.

• 24:47Speaker 00

  Probably won't.

• 24:52Speaker 05

  You know what, Pam? If in 10 years, I haven't had a baby and you haven't had a baby.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  No, Michael.

• 25:01Speaker 05

  20 years.

• 25:01Speaker 00

  No, Michael.

• 25:04Speaker 05

  30.

• 25:07Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 25:09Speaker 05

  It's a deal.

• 25:11Speaker 00

  Oh, my goodness.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  Just amazing. I have to say too, I had this observation in rewatching cold opens from season three and five. So many standalones happen at front reception.

• 25:25Speaker 00

  Really?

• 25:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. So lady, you are in a lot of classic cold open moments. And that's just going to be so fun for you years from now when you just like check in. You're in the cold open so much.

• 25:36Speaker 00

  Oh, my gosh. That's so fun. It's funny because I think of the cold opens as either being like big events that we were all in or Jim Dwight pranks.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:47Speaker 00

  Like, I don't remember these ones as much. But of course, I remember this moment.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're usually kind of by Jim Dwight and front reception in that little area. So even if you're not someone speaking, Pam is present for a lot of them. Okay. Hidden gem number two, it's from the initiation. And I want you to know, I actually just ended up watching this. I went back and watched it like four times. Because I don't know why, it just really cracked me up. It's so good. BJ is hilarious. I'm calling it Dwight's Brain Teasers.

• 26:21Speaker 05

  Brain teaser. I have two coins totaling 15 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are they? A diamond and nickel.

• 26:30Speaker 05

  No, I said, "One of them is not a nickel." But the other one is. I've heard that before. Okay. A man and his son get into a car accident. They are rushed to the hospital. The doctor says, "There's no way I can operate on this boy." Because he's my son. The doctor is the boy's mother. A man is found hanging from the ceiling. He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself, and the ice melted.

• 26:51Speaker 05

  Hunter. It's a polar bear because you're at the North Pole.

• 26:55Speaker 00

  It's so funny because I knew all those two. Those are all like super famous ones.

• 27:00Speaker 01

  I didn't know some of them, but just the way, like when you see, you know, obviously Ryan, the temp is now sitting at Jim's desk.

• 27:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  And so Dwight's messing with him. And he is so unfazed by Dwight. He barely is even looking up and is making Dwight crazy.

• 27:16Speaker 00

  It's amazing.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  So good. But that's one I forgot about.

• 27:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  Hidden gem. Okay, lastly, I had completely forgotten about this one. I don't know about you, Jenna. Hidden gem number three from season three. It's from Back from Vacation. Dwight decides to bring a tape recorder into Jim's conference room meeting. And things really go off the rails.

• 27:37Speaker 06

  All right, let's get started. Um, oh, first off, we're supposed to be pushing card stock this week. So let's push card stock this week. Also, what is this?

• 27:50Speaker 05

  Tape recorder.

• 27:52Speaker 06

  For what?

• 27:53Speaker 05

  For recording. Michael is on vacation and he's asked me to record all meetings and to type up the transcripts.

• 27:59Speaker 06

  Okay. Uh, Karen, any news from that law firm? Yeah, the deal closed yesterday. It's a six-month commitment. Oh, my God. Dwight, what are you doing?

• 28:06Speaker 05

  What?

• 28:07Speaker 06

  You're not allowed to take off your pants in the middle of the office.

• 28:10Speaker 05

  I'm not.

• 28:11Speaker 06

  Dwight, you know what? Just back off, okay? That's making me uncomfortable. This is sexual harassment, by the way. Oh, my God. He's got a knife.

• 28:18Speaker 05

  I do not have a knife.

• 28:19Speaker 06

  No, let the record show that Dwight K. Schrute is now completely nude and is holding a plastic knife to Stanley's neck.

• 28:26Speaker 05

  Let the record show that Jim Halpert is a liar.

• 28:29Speaker 06

  Dwight Schrute is now wearing a baby's bonnet.

• 28:31Speaker 05

  I am not.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Oh, Jim Carrey just walked in. Dwight, get his autograph from Michael.

• 28:34Speaker 05

  Jim Carrey did not just walk in, okay?

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Dwight, what is that on your stomach? Is that a Muppet Babies tattoo?

• 28:39Speaker 06

  Oh, my God, Karen, you're right. That is animal from the Muppet Babies. You can't see my statue. I am now chopping off Phyllis's head with a chainsaw.

• 28:49Speaker 00

  It doesn't even make any sense.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  I know. As you watch it, Andy is getting so hyped. First, he doesn't get what's happening. Then he's like, oh, Jim is making Dwight sound like an idiot in this proposed transcript he's gonna have to type up. And then Phyllis gets in on it. Phyllis out of this room of people. And then Andy's like, I gotta get in there. And he's crazy. So that's season three, you guys. Let me tell you, if you have an afternoon, maybe you just need a break from everything. Maybe your life is feeling stressful, or you're feeling like you just need to take a vacation, but you can't go anywhere. Grab a cup of tea and just watch the season three cold opens.

• 29:30Speaker 00

  I tell you what, I really enjoyed sitting down and just watching the first minute and a half of every episode.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  I know. I know. And you know what? It made me focus on it so differently.

• 29:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:42Speaker 01

  You know, sometimes you start something and it takes you a few minutes and then you get in it. No, I was focused from the minute the show started.

• 29:48Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  Okay, what about season four, Jenna?

• 29:51Speaker 00

  Well, I didn't have a lot to go on for season four.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 29:54Speaker 00

  This was a much shorter season. We only had 19 episodes, remember?

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Because of the strike?

• 29:59Speaker 00

  Yes. And of those 19, we only had six standalone cold opens.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  Oh, this is not a lot in our criteria.

• 30:07Speaker 00

  No. And we had some famous cold opens. Among those six, the most famous probably being the DVD square from Launch Party Part One.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Very famous one.

• 30:18Speaker 00

  We also had one that was cut. And there's no cold open for Job Fair.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 30:26Speaker 00

  The cold open for Job Fair that's currently in the episode is on story. But I would argue that the cold open that was cut, that was added back to the Superfan episode, is maybe one of the greatest cold opens we ever shot. And it is where Michael's stuff all falls in the toilet.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Oh, God, I love that one.

• 30:46Speaker 00

  I love it as much as I love any of the other classics.

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:50Speaker 00

  I know. But you know what? It's not even there.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  But at least it made its way back in. Thank you, Dave Rogers, over at the Superfan.

• 30:59Speaker 00

  Yes. So given my choices here, I am gonna give the award for Best Cold Open Hidden Gem, Season Four, Tonight Out.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 31:09Speaker 00

  This is when Michael gets gum stuck in his hair. And I really just love the quick dialogue on this one. So let's listen. What's wrong, Michael?

• 31:18Speaker 05

  I got gum in my hair.

• 31:19Speaker 00

  You do?

• 31:20Speaker 05

  This just stinks. Don't touch it. Please don't touch it.

• 31:25Speaker 06

  You got a ton of dandruff.

• 31:26Speaker 05

  Okay, let me be.

• 31:27Speaker 06

  How'd you get gum in your hair?

• 31:28Speaker 05

  I was walking in and I noticed something shiny under Stanley's car. And I got under to see what it was. And I messed up my hair, all for a stupid piece of tin foil.

• 31:37Speaker 06

  But best case scenario, you thought it was a quarter.

• 31:39Speaker 05

  Kill me. Right now.

• 31:41Speaker 00

  We have peanut butter in the kitchen.

• 31:43Speaker 05

  I don't feel like peanut butter. Give me an ice cream sandwich.

• 31:46Speaker 06

  Nope, not for you. It's for your hair. And it is 9:00 AM.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  No, Dwight, not the good peanut butter. People are gonna get mad.

• 31:53Speaker 05

  Hey, hey, hey, this is my hair we're talking about.

• 31:58Speaker 05

  Smells good.

• 32:01Speaker 06

  Tastes good, too.

• 32:02Speaker 05

  Oh, Donald, that's disgusting.

• 32:04Speaker 06

  Wow, a lot of calories.

• 32:06Speaker 05

  Well, just don't leave it on too long. Keep massaging, please. Oh, yeah, that's nice.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  Wait, I have to ask this. Did Rain improvise the dandruff line?

• 32:19Speaker 00

  All of the dialogue was scripted just as you heard it. I went to the script.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  I went to the script. It sounds like there's some improv in there.

• 32:26Speaker 00

  I know.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  That's amazing.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  Really impressive.

• 32:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:29Speaker 00

  It's funny that you asked that question because I had that same question and I checked the script. Here's something that this cold open brings up for me, though.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Because Pam says, don't use the good peanut butter. People are gonna get mad. Is there a budget for, like, always live there items in this kitchen? I'm thinking like coffee creamer, or milk, or clearly this peanut butter, tea bags. Who is stocking the kitchen? Is that Pam's job? Whose job is it?

• 32:56Speaker 01

  100%.

• 32:57Speaker 00

  Probably Pam's job.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  I think it's Pam, for sure. And I think she has a little petty cash budget for things that have to stay in the kitchen. And that would be like sugar packets and creamer. And I guess the good peanut butter.

• 33:10Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  But maybe she also buys crappy peanut butter. And she hides the good peanut butter? I don't know.

• 33:16Speaker 00

  Have you ever worked at a place where you had like a communal kitchen with communal items and stuff?

• 33:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:23Speaker 00

  And then people would bring stuff in?

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:25Speaker 00

  Maybe donuts and all that stuff. You guys, the kitchen was always my favorite part of all my office jobs. I loved going in there and making a cup of coffee and seeing if anybody brought anything in.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  I think I've told you guys that Jenny, when I worked at 1-800-Dennis, she was kind of the office administrator. And she ran a tight ship in the kitchen. So she had a sign on the fridge that said, if you had food in there past a certain number of days, I forget what it was, but if your food is in here for more than four days, I will toss it. And she wanted everyone to write their name and the date. They put the food in the fridge.

• 34:05Speaker 00

  No way, the date?

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Yes. So it's like, okay, I show up, it's Monday, January, you know, whatever, 4th, I put that. But no one did it. No one did it.

• 34:13Speaker 00

  Did anyone get their lunch tossed?

• 34:15Speaker 01

  So she would say, if you don't have your name, at least your name, I'm tossing it. And she tossed food left and right.

• 34:22Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  People got pissed.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  I've never been in charge of the kitchen. I've only just experienced a kitchen. I've never had anyone like that run my kitchen.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  I worked for Jenny because I also worked in the mailroom. And she ran the mailroom. And sometimes she would send me in the kitchen to go in the fridge and toss things.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  Oh, my gosh, Angela.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. Mm hmm. And I only tossed if I opened it up and it was like rank.

• 34:44Speaker 00

  Right.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  If it was rank, then it went in the trash.

• 34:48Speaker 00

  All right, fair enough.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. Anyway.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  All right. Well, before we leave season four, I would also like to give an honorable mention to the deposition. That is the cold open where Michael wants Pam to interrupt him during meetings with sticky notes so that he can refuse to take the calls. I call it the hi-yah buddy cold open.

• 35:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  But I'm not sure if that's a gem or a hidden gem. Because I've had a lot of people show me hi-yah buddy tattoos. So I feel like that's taking it out of the hidden gems category, which is why I did not select it.

• 35:19Speaker 01

  I see your reasoning on that. I think we can make a rule now, moving forward, when we do a second parter for this, that if the standalone cold open produces a popular tattoo.

• 35:33Speaker 00

  It is not a hidden gem.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  It is not a hidden gem.

• 35:35Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  Okay. New criteria.

• 35:37Speaker 00

  Well, I'll tell you what, it's interesting that you mentioned doing a two parter, because I had so much fun watching these cold opens that I actually kept going. And I watched all the cold opens from season six and eight. And in season eight, Pam's replacement, the hi-yah buddy cold open kind of gets called back.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  No way.

• 35:55Speaker 00

  Yes, because in that episode, Andy asks Aaron to interrupt him during a meeting with a fake phone call that he wants to refuse.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  And I was like, oh, Andy's trying to do this thing that Michael did. But of course, you know, Aaron.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Bungles it.

• 36:14Speaker 00

  Doesn't understand it the way Pam did.

• 36:16Speaker 01

  Right.

• 36:17Speaker 00

  So I thought that was interesting.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a total callback.

• 36:20Speaker 00

  Mm hmm. Total callback.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  Love it.

• 36:23Speaker 00

  All right, lady, what you got for season fivers?

• 36:27Speaker 01

  So season fivers is a real doozy of a season.

• 36:30Speaker 00

  Wait, so you got season three, which was a juggernaut, and season five, that was a doozy?

• 36:34Speaker 01

  I got a juggernaut and a doozy.

• 36:36Speaker 00

  You really did?

• 36:38Speaker 01

  Okay, first of all, there are 28 episodes for season five.

• 36:42Speaker 00

  Oh, that is a doozy.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. That is 28 cold opens that your little lady here happily watched, though. Happily. It was just a pleasure. So by my count, I think there are 12 standalone cold opens. Now, that is if you count Jim's Christmas prank of wrapping Dwight's desk area in wrapping paper.

• 37:03Speaker 00

  I count that.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:04Speaker 00

  Even though it was in a Christmas episode, I still count that as a standalone.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  I do, too, because it's not revisited at all.

• 37:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Once the episode starts.

• 37:12Speaker 00

  Great.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  Okay. We also have three two parters. But interestingly enough, we only have two previously before on the Office recap cold opens. One in Weight Loss Part Two, the other in Lecture Circuit Part Two. But Stress Relief Part Two has its own new cold open. And it's really funny. It's where Michael and Dwight, they start, they're like having little, it looks like little mini alcohol, like bottles, right? And Michael's kind of bummed because he's like, what is it to be a boss? Why is everyone just so intimidated by me? And he has this hilarious talking head about his shoulder pads, his boss suits.

• 37:47Speaker 00

  Wow. I do not remember this.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  I know. But it sets up the roast.

• 37:51Speaker 00

  Ah.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  That's going to happen. So that's why I didn't include it.

• 37:54Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Okay. But it's a delight. But lady, this season has some of the most talked about cold opens in the canon of the entire show. According to Mashable, it has one that is widely considered the best cold open in the entire series, which you might have guessed is in Stress Relief Part One, where Dwight stages a fake office fire to test the employees on their emergency preparedness.

• 38:21Speaker 00

  I agree with that.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 38:22Speaker 00

  I agree with that prize. I mean, also, I was there and I know what it took to make that cold open.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:27Speaker 00

  And I think it is like a feat of television comedy.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  I agree. There were so many moving parts. It's like we all had to learn a choreographed dance with our crew.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. Okay. But there were other fan favorite moments from season five that make all of the best of compilations. Here they are. When Michael realizes Toby is back from Costa Rica and screams, no, right? And then, of course, Kevin's famous chili.

• 38:54Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Right? And people really love, and I don't know why I was surprised by this, but people really love in Company Picnic, when the whole office comes together to trick Michael because he's eaten an entire chicken pot pie for lunch. And they change all the clocks to say 5 o'clock. And then they wake him up and everyone gets to go home early.

• 39:14Speaker 00

  I would call that a hidden gem. Little did I know, it's.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  A fan favorite.

• 39:18Speaker 00

  Not hidden at all.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  I would have put it on my hidden gem, but it's a fan favorite.

• 39:22Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  Okay. And then lady, I have three, after watching this, that are on my personal favorite list. They also make the fan list.

• 39:31Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 39:32Speaker 01

  There are a lot of fan favorites for this one. But I love these and they don't always make the top of the fan favorite lists. They're still not hidden gems, lady, because they still get talked about so much.

• 39:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  And business ethics, when Pam is mad that no one congratulated them on their engagement. So then Jim puts her on speakerphone and everyone's either snarky or like dumb. But then Michael tackles Jim out of excitement.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 39:55Speaker 01

  Okay. And then the Michael Scott Paper Company Cheese Puff Toss.

• 39:59Speaker 00

  Great.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Great, right? Also, for me, and this one was a joy to re-watch, in Golden Ticket, when Michael is telling knock-knock jokes and then Dwight slaps him.

• 40:11Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  KGB will ask the questions and then Jim slaps Dwight and says, KGB waits for no one. That just makes me laugh so hard. So, once again, just an absolute amazing season of cold opens.

• 40:23Speaker 00

  Would you give the prize for cold opens to season five? If you had to award a season? Now, I know you haven't watched ahead necessarily, but I'm feeling like it gets the prize.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  It might get the prize because of stress relief, Kevin's famous chili. It's just got some of the most memorable ones that people talk about. But unbelievably, there are still some awesome hidden gems that aren't as talked about.

• 40:51Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  I did pick two. I'm sorry.

• 40:55Speaker 00

  Oh, my gosh!

• 40:56Speaker 01

  But look at the seasons I got, season three and season five. Okay, these are not talked about that much and I just think they're fantastic. And one really features you. And, you know, of course, I want to feature my BFF on our own podcast. It's from Blood Drive and it's when the Techstar sales rep comes to pitch his new phone system to Michael Scott.

• 41:17Speaker 07

  Hi.

• 41:19Speaker 00

  Good morning, can I help you?

• 41:20Speaker 07

  Yes, I'm from Techstar, I've got a new phone system for you. I was wondering if I could talk to Michael Scott.

• 41:28Speaker 00

  I'm sorry, he's not in right now.

• 41:30Speaker 07

  Really? He's never around when I come by.

• 41:33Speaker 00

  Shoot. They have new phone systems now that can ring directly to a salesman or someone presses star and they go to accounting, basically 95% of my job. But I'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone. Vending machine.

• 41:51Speaker 07

  How about I make an appointment to come back? That way, I know he'll be here.

• 41:56Speaker 00

  That is a great idea.

• 41:57Speaker 07

  Great.

• 42:00Speaker 00

  Um, oh, boy. He's really...

• 42:07Speaker 06

  Michael Scott, manager, hi, how are you?

• 42:09Speaker 07

  Oh, hi.

• 42:10Speaker 06

  Nice to meet you.

• 42:11Speaker 07

  Hey, look at that.

• 42:13Speaker 06

  Woo, I can assure you, we don't need a new system, though. Happy with ours.

• 42:16Speaker 05

  Hello, may I help you?

• 42:17Speaker 06

  Jimbo.

• 42:20Speaker 05

  Joe. Ayyyy. Ayyyy.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  Ayyyy.

• 42:35Speaker 05

  Ayyyy. Okay, I'm, uh, where have we gone? Ayyyy. What was that?

• 42:49Speaker 00

  That was funny.

• 42:50Speaker 05

  That was funny. Let's go do it to somebody else. Ayyyy.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  That's all they had to do to distract Michael from the sales rep.

• 43:01Speaker 00

  Just do a bit.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Just do a bit. He was so delighted that Jim and Pam wanted to do a bit with him.

• 43:06Speaker 00

  That's really good writing.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  I know. And great performance in that one by all of you guys. And then lastly, this hidden gem, I want to feature because I think it might be the shortest cold open, definitely in season five, but maybe in the entire show.

• 43:22Speaker 00

  Huh.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  Right? I did not remember it. It's from Cafe Disco, Dwight Pranks Pam.

• 43:30Speaker 00

  Okay. Oh, my God. I can't believe it. I just won an art contest. Ah!

• 43:45Speaker 00

  Thanks. I still don't understand why you wanted me to say that. Shut up. I got her. Oh! Not cool, Dwight. Not cool, man.

• 44:07Speaker 00

  Oh, my gosh. The diabolical laugh.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  I know.

• 44:11Speaker 00

  Can you believe I did not remember that?

• 44:14Speaker 01

  I mean, it's very quick, but I didn't remember it either.

• 44:17Speaker 00

  Even when you said Dwight pranks Pam, I'm like, what? Dwight never pranked Pam.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. He had Aaron yell, "I just won an art contest." And then he laughs for like 45 seconds.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, very interesting.

• 44:33Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. And Rain's performance is really hilarious. And also, a little bit like, I thought, I wonder if he got a headache after. He has to laugh so hard.

• 44:44Speaker 00

  It's so mean, though.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  It's super mean.

• 44:46Speaker 00

  Why is he being so mean to Pam?

• 44:48Speaker 01

  He's like, I got her. Yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 00

  Is he one of those people who they don't know how to do a fun prank?

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 44:57Speaker 00

  You know?

• 44:58Speaker 01

  Absolutely. I mean, look at the snowball and the snowman thing. I mean, that was like, he doesn't know how to prank.

• 45:06Speaker 00

  No.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  No.

• 45:07Speaker 00

  It's always like too harsh or sort of dangerous.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:10Speaker 00

  Or mean.

• 45:11Speaker 01

  Or mean. Even looks like when he and Michael have a thing where they like pretend to hit each other and Dwight goes too hard.

• 45:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  You know?

• 45:18Speaker 00

  No, it's true.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  He doesn't get it. But anyway, I think that might be the shortest cold open ever. I haven't watched the next batch. But, yeah, there you go. That was season five. I absolutely loved watching these cold opens.

• 45:33Speaker 00

  Well, I think we should watch the next batch and do this again.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree.

• 45:39Speaker 00

  But why don't we take a break? And when we come back, we'll do a little around the town. There's a couple real hidden gems in our around the towns as well.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  Look at you. You've got digital clutter, great segues. Anything can happen for you today, lady.

• 45:53Speaker 00

  It really can.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  You're not getting fired today.

• 45:56Speaker 00

  I'm not?

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 45:57Speaker 00

  Yay!

• 46:05Speaker 02

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• 46:38Speaker 00

  All right, we're back and let's do a little... Around the Town! Our first one is coming from Annika M. in the UK. Annika says, "More of a shout-out for my little girl. During the school's summer holidays, my eight-year-old daughter, Elodie, undertook a running challenge. She decided to run every day in August to raise money for charity. She ended up running over 50 miles and raising over 900 pounds for the dog's trust."

• 47:10Speaker 01

  That is wonderful.

• 47:12Speaker 00

  So wonderful.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Annika, you must be so proud. I love that. Well, here's one from Abby F. in Kansas City, Missouri. Abby says, "I am a labor and delivery nurse and we give a silly award called the Star Stork every month to the nurse who delivered the most babies that month. I was the Star Stork of August with seven babies I helped deliver that month. My all-time high is 12 babies in a month."

• 47:39Speaker 00

  I love the Star Stork.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  Way to go, Abby.

• 47:42Speaker 00

  Congratulations. All right, next up, from Charlotte L. in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. I really think Gabe would like this one.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 47:51Speaker 00

  Charlotte said, "I go to college in Gettysburg and this fall, the town is recreating the Gettysburg Address as part of America 250. There is an actor playing Lincoln and he will ride into town on a steam locomotive." Yes, the town is actually getting a real steam locomotive. And then the next day, he will travel to the battlefield to give the speech and all the bells in town will ring for 2 minutes and 50 seconds straight. There are hired actors playing the roles of basically every person Lincoln interacted with and even some he didn't over the two days. And this small town is expecting over 50,000 people to come. I'm honestly excited to see how it all plays out."

• 48:36Speaker 00

  Well, I looked this up and this is coming up. It's happening November 16th through 18th. So if you are nearby, you can check it out. And you can find the whole schedule and more info at [email protected].

• 48:49Speaker 01

  I would love to see a real steam locomotive.

• 48:52Speaker 00

  Right?

• 48:53Speaker 01

  That would be so cool. I mean, there's so many cool things about it, but I do love a train.

• 48:57Speaker 00

  You love a train, Jim loves a train.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  I know.

• 48:59Speaker 00

  I feel like I'm gonna see, is November too late to see some nice fall foliage? Is it too late by mid-November?

• 49:08Speaker 01

  That I don't know. Someone write in and tell us. I have never seen the leaves turn, and I've always wanted to do that. I've always wanted to go to the East Coast.

• 49:16Speaker 00

  Yes, the Northeast.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 49:18Speaker 00

  And see all of that. I've never seen that either, lady.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  And it's bucket list for me. I want a road trip and see fall foliage.

• 49:25Speaker 00

  I do too, lady. You know that I have become a super nerd for this travel competition show.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:32Speaker 00

  Called Jet Lag the Game. I watch it with my son. We bought tickets to the finale that was in a movie theater. This is very niche of us. We love it. I have a hat. I have the home game, all of it. This whole channel is just about travel, and it's making me very antsy.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  To travel?

• 49:50Speaker 00

  To travel. Like, they do stuff like the one we went to see in the theater, where these four guys, and they are in a race to go from the bottommost part of Japan all the way to the topmost part of Japan, and they can only travel by train. So you're just watching all of Japan through this race, through these trains.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  And then do they film it themselves?

• 50:14Speaker 00

  Yes, they film it themselves.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 50:17Speaker 00

  They film it all themselves. It's so lovely and wholesome in the sense that there's no drama.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 50:24Speaker 00

  It's not like Amazing Race where there's like this big money prize. It's literally just for bragging rights. And it really reminds me of the way that Great British Baking Show is just like a drama-free competition.

• 50:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:37Speaker 00

  Where everyone is happy for one another.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  And they're there for the love of cooking and food. And so for this travel show, I imagine they're there for the love of exploring new places.

• 50:47Speaker 00

  Yes, exactly.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, that sounds really cool.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  And also kind of transportation. Like, lady, it's all trains. You'd freaking love it.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  Every episode is trains?

• 50:57Speaker 00

  Some things, like when they do these series where they're doing like tag, they play like tag across Europe. You can like take a bus, and sometimes they take planes. And they did do this one where they drove all the way through New Zealand, which was pretty cool. But it is almost exclusively train travel. So that's the other thing that's really cool. You see like all of the public transit systems in different places. Like, they're always going to different places.

• 51:22Speaker 01

  I just took the Amtrak Pacific Coastliner by myself. I got on at the Burbank stop, and I took it up the coast all the way to San Luis Obispo, and it goes along the ocean. It's gorgeous.

• 51:36Speaker 00

  Our son wants to do that.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  It's so beautiful. I should share the pictures from this trip. I sent my mom a selfie I took by the window, and I said, "Look, Mom, I'm on a train." She said, "Are you sure it's not a boat?"

• 51:49Speaker 00

  Because you were so close to the ocean.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Yes, and I saw dolphins, like, on the ocean. And then we went through a meadow, and I saw a deer. And I took it on the afternoon, so then I saw the sunset. It was gorgeous.

• 52:02Speaker 00

  I am getting fed a lot of stuff on Instagram right now about traveling by train through different countries.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's got your algorithm.

• 52:11Speaker 00

  I guess there's this one where you leave from England and you travel overnight into Scotland.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  I've taken the train from London to Scotland.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  Did you sleep on it?

• 52:22Speaker 01

  No, I took it during the day, and it was like four hours.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  Oh, this one, for some reason, it felt longer.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  Oh, there's so many, though.

• 52:30Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  There's so many. And maybe the one I took was just more like, just, you know, from A to B, just getting me there. There's one that I really want to do. Oh, there's so many trains to ride, lady.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  Well, you know what my parents are doing now? They're traveling by river, by river cruise. They are determined to travel from the beginning of the Mississippi River all the way down to the Gulf of Mexico, because there's all these Mississippi River cruises. And they love them. They did a river cruise up in the Northeast, where they did some rivers up there, and they saw all these historic places. You can travel by train and river.

• 53:08Speaker 01

  Well, count me in.

• 53:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think so. How do we get off on that tangent?

• 53:14Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 53:15Speaker 00

  I just said I wanted to see some fall foliage.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  I don't know. I don't know. But anyway, we have places to go and things to do. And you know what? You don't stop being curious, even though you're in your 50s.

• 53:25Speaker 00

  I like that.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:27Speaker 00

  And it's true. I'm probably more curious.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 53:30Speaker 00

  Before we go, we have two more things to share. It's a special shout out to some Office alumni and their new movies.

• 53:38Speaker 01

  Yes. First off, Melora Hardin and Charles Esten both star in a new movie coming out this Friday, November 6. It's called Drummer Boy, and it's a musical drama, and they both sing in it.

• 53:50Speaker 00

  They both sing in it.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. We asked Melora how it came about, and she said Charles Esten was actually the one who reached out to her. He was in a full costume. It's like a period piece. And he made a video and sent it to her on a Friday. And by Monday, she was on a plane to Ireland where the film shot. So it was all because of Charles that she ended up in the movie.

• 54:12Speaker 00

  Oh, my gosh. She went on to say that they were already two weeks into production when the director said they were having such a hard time casting the part that Melora was going to play, and that Charles thought of her. They said, "Listen, we need someone who's a great actress and can really sing." And Melora sings three songs in the movie.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  That is so fun. And lastly, we want to shout out my favorite neighbor, Creed Bratton. He's in a new movie called Primetime with Robert Pattinson, and it's now available on video on demand. So go Office family, go.

• 54:46Speaker 00

  See you at the movies. I love it.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:49Speaker 00

  All right. Well, everyone, thank you for going on this journey with us for this episode of Cold Open Hidden Gems. We're going to do this again.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, we'll finish off the seasons.

• 54:59Speaker 00

  And everyone have a good week.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Have a great day.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Bye.

• 55:07Speaker 00

  Thank you for listening to Office Ladies.

• 55:09Speaker 01

  Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey.

• 55:15Speaker 00

  Our senior producer is Matt Beagle, and our audio engineer is Sam Kiefer.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Reese Dennis.

• 55:22Speaker 00

  Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schulz.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton.