Boom! Roasted!

This week on Office Ladies 6.0, Jenna and Angela dig into “The Roast of Michael Scott” from Stress Relief Part 2 and unpack all the comedy that didn’t make it to air. The ladies dig into The Office Candy Bags to reveal hilarious alternate roast jokes, extended scenes, and never-before-heard burns for nearly every member of the office, including some absolutely savage material for Michael Scott. Along the way, they answer fan questions about “white noise” and the origin of the iconic Dunder Mifflin logo, and share a few delightful Around the Town stories. So practice your finger guns and “ba dump bumps” and… Boom! Roasted! Office Ladies Website - Submit a fan question for Around the Town, Chit Chat, and Second Drink favorite moment:https://officeladies.com/submitaquestion Follow Us on Instagram:OfficeLadiesPod https://www.instagram.com/officeladiespod/ Follow Us on YouTube https://youtube.com/@officeladiespod?si=D0oKJwFJuK9txzFM Follow Us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@officeladiespod?_t=ZT-8y1gqTrJyOs&_r=1

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:11Speaker 01

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• 0:21Speaker 01

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• 0:25Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 0:26Speaker 01

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• 0:38Speaker 00

  Oh, it's so cute.

• 0:39Speaker 01

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• 0:40Speaker 00

  I like the buttons.

• 0:41Speaker 01

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• 0:53Speaker 00

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• 2:08Speaker 00

  I'm Jenna Fisher. And I'm Angela Kinsey. We were on The Office together. And we're best friends. And now we're doing the ultimate office lovers podcast just for you. Each week we will dive deeper into the world of the office with exclusive interviews, behind-the-scenes And lots of BFF stories. We're the Office Lady 6.0.

• 2:29Speaker 00

  Hello.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  I just want to tell you something. I'm not sure if you realize this. It looks like you still have the imprint of maybe your pillowcase.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Did you sleep really hard last?

• 2:41Speaker 00

  I guess I did.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  I mean, I know you were tired. You were texting me at like almost 11 o'clock, which is so late for you.

• 2:49Speaker 00

  So late for me.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  I was in bed, lights off. I'm like, what's happening? What's?

• 2:54Speaker 00

  That's a role reversal.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  I know, right?

• 2:56Speaker 00

  That never happens. You're the late night texter. Well, you know, everybody, you're going to be listening to this in July.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Hi, July.

• 3:04Speaker 00

  Hi, July. But we're recording this back in June and

• 3:08Speaker 01

  It's the last week of school for our kids.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  You know how that is.

• 3:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. And last night was the sixth grade graduation party. At my kid's school, they do a sixth grade graduation and a 12th grade graduation. So elementary school is K through sixth.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  Same, same. Eighth grade gets nothing.

• 3:27Speaker 00

  That's right.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Sorry, eighth grade.

• 3:28Speaker 00

  You know, my sister's kids, they go K through eighth. So they have a big eighth grade graduation.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Right, right. We have sixth grade and 12th grade.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. And let me tell you who parties hard. It is sixth grade moms who made it through elementary school.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  God bless you, sixth grade moms.

• 3:46Speaker 00

  This one mom, oh my gosh, we're so grateful to her. She opened up her house, her backyard. She had all the families there. So it was like, I mean, I don't even know how many people that was.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Oh, I always worry about the bathrooms. That's a lot of people using your bathroom.

• 4:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  Sorry, I didn't mean to get off on that. Continue.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  But they put out a dance floor on the lawn and there was a DJ and there were a set of songs that were clearly for the moms, like the kids cleared off the floor.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Wait.

• 4:16Speaker 00

  I'm talking Run DMC.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  I was gonna say.

• 4:19Speaker 00

  You know, it was like a good time.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Can I tell you at ours, the one that all the moms showed up for was Come on, Eileen.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  It was such a moment in time.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  Yes, yes. But there was this one part where the DJ is like, all right, get down low, get down low. And I got down low.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  But did you get back up?

• 4:39Speaker 00

  This, I did not plan ahead. I did get up. I did, but it was real.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Was it like crack, crack, pop, pop?

• 4:48Speaker 00

  Slow. But all of that is to say, yeah, I mean, I got home at 10:30. That's not even late, but I was so fired up, I couldn't fall asleep till like 1. So I'm tired today.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  I think getting home at 10:30 is late.

• 5:02Speaker 00

  I mean, I usually go to bed at nine o'clock.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  I know. I know. Because now I don't text you after nine.

• 5:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  Because I know she ta ta.

• 5:11Speaker 00

  I mean, I'm grouchy if you text me at eight, because I'm like, do not fire up my brain. I won't make it.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  She's not gonna make it. Anyway, sorry, that got me so tickled. We have such a fun episode today, guys.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  We do. I mean, like, I'm like, really excited about it.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  I'm really excited. And it was a absolute blast to revisit this.

• 5:29Speaker 00

  Today's episode was inspired by us finding our stress relief, part two, candy bag alts for Michael's roast. We're calling this one Boom Roasted.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Boom Roasted. You guys will not believe how much was in the candy bag alts for this episode. I just want to like, loop you in. Are you ready for this? I'm gonna throw some numbers at you.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Great.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  The overall stress relief main candy bag document was 320 pages. The candy bags, just for the scenes and talking heads for the roast, is 207 pages. And the candy bags just solely for alternate roast jokes is 40 pages.

• 6:10Speaker 00

  I mean, that is so nuts.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  It is nuts.

• 6:13Speaker 00

  Well, we thought it would be fun to dig into those. And we also watched the superfan episode of Stress Relief Part Two. And I found this Jim talking head that was added back to the episode. And in this talking head, Jim is kind of summing up how he thinks their roast is gonna go. And I think it's also going to apply to our podcast. Let's hear it.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  To quote Michael, "This'll be like shooting fish in a barbell."

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Fish in a barbell?

• 6:40Speaker 00

  Fish in a barbell.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  That's one of Michael's mangled's.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  Exactly, exactly. This episode, I feel like, is gonna be like shooting fish in a barrel because we have read these candy bag alts and they are so great. But also, there is a good chance we're gonna mangle something because I am very tired and you are you. And so it might be like shooting fish in a barbell.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Excuse me? You get a pass for being tired and I just walk in every day a [bleep] hot mess? How dare you?

• 7:09Speaker 04

  I know exactly what you meant by that, too.

• 7:13Speaker 00

  Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so tired.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  You too. Oh, I'm sorry. So when Jenna's tired, you get the truth serum?

• 7:20Speaker 00

  I have no edit button today. I'm too tired.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:25Speaker 00

  But don't you think?

• 7:27Speaker 01

  No, I'm not gonna label myself an everyday hot mess.

• 7:31Speaker 00

  No, not a hot mess, but a mangled worder.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Oh, yes, yes. Okay, yes, yes. A mangled worder, yes.

• 7:39Speaker 00

  That's right. I might mangle some words today because I'm really tired and you might mangle some words today because you are you.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  Right. That's just Angela Kinsey.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  Just an Angela special.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Okay, fine. Okay, fine. Now I see where you were going.

• 7:54Speaker 00

  You saw where I was going.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  All right. But first, oh, speaking of sleeping, our chit chat suggestion. It's coming in from Lily D. in Mobile, Alabama. Let's hear it.

• 8:07Speaker 05

  Hi, office ladies. My name is Lily. I'm from Mobile, Alabama. And my question for you today is, do you sleep in silence or do you sleep with white noise? I'm a youth minister and recently I had an overnight event with my students and they made so much fun of me for listening to white noise. And so I'm curious if you sleep in silence or with white noise? Thank you guys so much for taking the time to answer my question. And I just wanna say I've been a listener from the very beginning and I just love you guys so much. Thank you.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Lily, thank you so much. We love you right back.

• 8:48Speaker 00

  Lily, did you get any sleep that night when you did that sleepover?

• 8:53Speaker 01

  I mean, I've done a youth retreat. I mean, when I was younger, it can be a little bit of mayhem.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  Well, I always wonder, how are the adults sleeping? Like on these field trips and on these like sleepover events?

• 9:04Speaker 01

  I know, especially if you're in a room with like a bunch of bunks and a bunch of kids all like hopped up.

• 9:09Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  On just excitement because they're away.

• 9:12Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I know my answer to this, guys, right away.

• 9:16Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, I know mine, too.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  I need silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. I one time was like...

• 9:24Speaker 00

  No white noise?

• 9:25Speaker 01

  No white noise. And it's a little tricky because Josh needs green noise.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  What's green noise?

• 9:29Speaker 01

  I don't know. It's an app he has. It's like green noise. And so...

• 9:33Speaker 00

  Green noise? I've never heard of green noise.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Sam, you're nodding.

• 9:35Speaker 00

  What is green noise?

• 9:37Speaker 04

  Green noise, okay, I believe, because I listen to 432 Hz, which is the delta brainwaves. It's the hertz that your brainwaves function on for eight hours on YouTube. That's what I sleep to.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  I think green noise is similar to that.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, I hadn't heard of it, but he like read up on like, because he went through a phase where he just was having some insomnia.

• 10:00Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  So this green noise, he plays it, and I can't really hear it. It's fine. Like, I don't even know what the sound is, but it doesn't really bother me. But I kind of need to go to sleep before he turns it on. Does that make sense?

• 10:11Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  And then it's playing and I'm fine. Otherwise, I like silence. And if I go to your house, if you're so nice and say, hey, Ange, you're visiting, here's my guest room. I'm gonna have to walk through that guest room, and I'm gonna have to look for any lights. If you have like an outlet that has a little green flashy light, I'm gonna be covering it with something.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  And then if you have like a cute little alarm clock that has a little...

• 10:36Speaker 00

  My parents have that in both of their guest rooms.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  I have to unplug it or take the batteries out.

• 10:42Speaker 00

  Same. I feel bad because the last time I was at my parents' house, I went into the guest bedroom to like lay down and take a nap.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:49Speaker 00

  And I hid the clock, the ticking clock, like under the bed, and I forgot to put it back. They're probably like, where's my bedside clock?

• 10:57Speaker 01

  I've done that. I've like rolled it up in like a, like a sheet and put it in a drawer.

• 11:00Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Oh. Okay, so yeah, I need silence.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  I do like to sleep with the window open, though. So whatever's going on outside just kind of becomes like my white noise, I think. Like whatever, you know, birds chirping.

• 11:16Speaker 00

  Sam, can you play some of this green noise for us?

• 11:18Speaker 04

  I absolutely can.

• 11:20Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  Oh, my God, my body is having a response to this sound.

• 11:26Speaker 04

  In a good way?

• 11:27Speaker 00

  In a good way, like I-

• 11:28Speaker 04

  So it's supposed, this is 250 hertz, which is supposed to be calming and relieving.

• 11:35Speaker 00

  I'm like, am I in a womb? Am I on a plane?

• 11:38Speaker 01

  To me, it's like I either am hearing the ocean or I'm on a plane.

• 11:42Speaker 04

  That's interesting you say the womb. That's what it's supposed to emulate, the sound of like blight around you and being inside the womb.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  We're in a womb. Cozy.

• 11:51Speaker 04

  That's where we're recording from today.

• 11:52Speaker 00

  Wow, okay, interesting. Maybe I'll try it.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 00

  Well, my answer is that I need a lot of things to sleep. I need white noise.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  This is not surprising. The lady loves a list.

• 12:04Speaker 00

  I need white noise. I need blackout curtains. This was my favorite thing about Japan was that the curtains in all the hotel rooms overlapped. They didn't just stop when they got to the middle and then you had to pile pillows up so that you didn't have something seeping through.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  You would really like Iceland because they get so much daylight at different times of the year that they do not mess around.

• 12:28Speaker 00

  With their curtains?

• 12:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. So I need blackout curtains. I don't understand people who like just have like sort of sheer curtains on their windows. I don't understand it.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 00

  It's confusing to me.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  In a bedroom. Fine, fine, you want to have them in like a living room so you get some light.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  Can I ask what temperature you require your bedroom to be?

• 12:51Speaker 00

  Seventy-one degrees.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  I like that my bedroom cold.

• 12:55Speaker 00

  I know.

• 12:55Speaker 04

  Same here, cold and cold with lots of blankets is the correct answer, right?

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Me too, like a weighted blanket. Oh, so cozy.

• 13:02Speaker 00

  Yeah. So I definitely sleep with white noise, Lily. I also sleep with an eye mask on just in case we have any failure of said curtains. I also sleep with special earplugs that I did a bunch of research about and they are actually phenomenal. I read them on like a Christmas list for things to get people who are hard to shop for and I bought them for myself and I love them. And a fan, I have to have a fan blowing on me for my hot flashes.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  We have traveled together many times now over these years and one of my favorite things is, I forget where we were, but we had a hotel room that had the little connecty door.

• 13:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  And I was like fully showered, had done my hair, was doing my makeup and you came through the connecty door with your eye mask on your forehead, I think one of your earplugs in your hand, very discombobulated because you had overslept your alarm. And I was almost ready to walk out the door. You're like, but I was thinking, lady, how do you hear your alarm?

• 14:00Speaker 00

  I hear it.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  You hear it through the earplugs and the noise and all the things.

• 14:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:05Speaker 00

  Well.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Well, you didn't that morning.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  I guess not.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Lily, I love that question. I love these little slice of life shares. I think they're so fun.

• 14:15Speaker 00

  I love our new format for Office Ladies. I was thinking about it and just how much I love it because of how much it involves getting to hear from people.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Yes. It's sort of a callback to the very beginning of Office Ladies where people would call in and read the summary, remember?

• 14:30Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  And we loved that.

• 14:32Speaker 00

  We did.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  So here we are.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  Well, listen, we're gonna take a break and then we are gonna get into Boom Roasted.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  I am in the process of going through my closet and really looking at items that look great, but that I haven't worn in a long time because maybe they're not my season anymore. You know, I'm a little older and some of my looks, I don't know, they're not for me anymore, but they're still really great pieces. So I have been looking into Vinted because my sisters love it.

• 15:08Speaker 00

  Yes. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app.

• 15:12Speaker 00

  That makes it really easy for an everyday person, people like you and me, to sell pre-loved fashion and earn a little extra money. There are no seller fees and the app is free to download. It's really simple to list an item on Vinted, and then, once the item sells, Vinted actually creates the prepaid shipping label for you.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  I know, isn't that fantastic?

• 15:34Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  All right, everyone, there's a lot of great, amazing items on Vinted. You should check out the website. And give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep everything you earn.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  Well, we are back. And before we dig into all of the additional roasting from this episode, I want us to remember Michael's expectations for this roast.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:02Speaker 00

  Because he has a lot of expectations for how the roast is gonna go. In re-watching this episode, I was so excited to find that there was an extended scene between Michael and Daryl. You might remember, before the roast, he goes down to the warehouse to talk to Daryl. He wants to talk about what is the stage gonna look like? What kind of chair is he gonna have? It's this amazing scene, and it was all expanded for the superfan. I think we need to hear it.

• 16:27Speaker 06

  So that's the stage?

• 16:28Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 16:29Speaker 06

  All right, yeah. You know what? That'll work. That'll work for my roast.

• 16:33Speaker 07

  It's supposed to be working as a warehouse.

• 16:34Speaker 06

  Well, this is all about morale, Daryl. I will need a big chair, comfy chair, like a throne, for the man of honor. And I think all the other roasters should be up here on stage as well.

• 16:49Speaker 07

  Everyone's on the stage?

• 16:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, like a Comedy Central roast.

• 16:52Speaker 07

  Who's in the audience?

• 16:53Speaker 06

  The audience will be in the audience. We'll charge $10 ahead.

• 16:55Speaker 07

  Charge who?

• 16:56Speaker 06

  We'll need alcohol, because that's very important for a roast. You need to get people drunk, and you need something to spit. Ah, boo!

• 17:05Speaker 07

  You gonna be spitting in here?

• 17:06Speaker 06

  Spit takes, yes. I'll be doing some spit takes. If it's funny enough. Or I will do finger guns, or...

• 17:15Speaker 06

  Right, Sammy Davis Jr. move, but you know that. Or I will double over, or I will do the point, like, oh. You got me. What?

• 17:23Speaker 07

  I got your big picture you wanted.

• 17:24Speaker 06

  No, no, no, no. I need a big picture. Something to cover the whole back of the dais.

• 17:27Speaker 07

  I have to go to the printer.

• 17:28Speaker 06

  Well, go, please. Oh, and get me a drum and a cymbal. I want to do ba-dum bumps.

• 17:33Speaker 07

  Rim shots.

• 17:33Speaker 06

  No, ba-dum bumps.

• 17:34Speaker 07

  Technical term is rim shots.

• 17:39Speaker 00

  By the way, when I was watching the roast, he does all those things. He does, obviously, the ba-dum bump, but he does finger guns.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  He does them all.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  He does the point. It's amazing.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  I am really realizing, though, that ba-dum bumps, ba-dum bumps is something I'd probably say. It's making me think of like when we first started re-watching The Office, when I would call the shot through the blinds, the peep shot.

• 18:02Speaker 00

  The peep shot?

• 18:03Speaker 01

  And you're like, you mean the spy shot.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  Well, it's just that we called it a spy shot.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  I know. It's what I think the true term, not the peep shot. All right, you guys, now it's time to dive into the candy bag alts. Oh, it's so good. We thought we would start right before the roast begins with some talking heads that really set the tone for how people in the office felt about the roast and how hard they were going to go at Michael. I'm going to kick us off with a candy bag alt for Angela Martin. Angela would have said, "I wish I'd thought of writing down every problem I have with Michael for the last five years." Angela pretends to find a notebook, which she holds up. "Oh, wait a minute," and she points to it. She has been keeping a journal of every time Michael has pissed her off.

• 18:50Speaker 00

  That's pretty amazing. Well, Andy had some real gems, too. Here is one of his talking heads. Andy was going to say, "Every now and then, you gotta just take the gloves off and really rip into someone." For the Bernards, that's traditionally been on Thanksgiving, so this will be a nice test run.

• 19:11Speaker 01

  Can you imagine Thanksgiving at Andy Bernard's parents' house?

• 19:14Speaker 00

  I cannot.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  How many jabs they throw at him?

• 19:17Speaker 00

  Oh, my gosh.

• 19:19Speaker 01

  All right, here's one from Kevin. Kevin would have said, "Michael letting us tell him how much he sucks is probably the coolest thing he's ever done. He set up a P.A. system and everything."

• 19:31Speaker 00

  And lastly, here is one from Oscar that really paints a picture. I mean, Michael has no idea what he's in for. Oscar would have said, "As an accountant, it's my duty to measure the value of roasting Michael against the potential of getting fired, but as a man, I have no choice but to destroy him."

• 19:50Speaker 01

  Destroy him.

• 19:51Speaker 00

  Destroy.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Oh, and if you think the roasts that made it into the actual episode were rough on Michael, just wait until you hear the alts, OMG. But guys, it's time for the roast. Michael is so excited to get it started. This is gonna take a turn very quickly, but let's hear his opening speech, just full of enthusiasm.

• 20:12Speaker 06

  Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. You are all jerks.

• 20:17Speaker 06

  Just kidding, not yet, anyway. Welcome to the roast of Mr. Michael Scott. If you're here for the Grabowski wedding, it is the second door on the left. So we all know how these work. Needs to get crazy, take your best shot. I'm going to sit right over here, and whoever wants to come up and roast me, you may. Okay.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  Well, Angela, you are first up.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I charge the stage.

• 20:44Speaker 00

  Yes, and dare I say, I think it's the best roast.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  No.

• 20:49Speaker 00

  I really do. I really, really do, and I didn't see it coming, you know? Like, I think as a fan of the show, you don't necessarily think that Angela is going to be a really good roaster, but she is. She's gonna roast him like a la Jeff Foxworthy style. That's how it's described in the script. It says Angela does a very bland Jeff Foxworthy. And something I feel like we should share with people is that the superfan episode does not have a bunch of extra roast stuff in it.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  That's right. Even though we filmed a bunch, there's only two characters. We'll get to them where they're extended.

• 21:26Speaker 00

  Yes, so this is Angela's roast of Michael.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  If you ever wondered whether you were Michael Scott, here's a quiz to help. If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  If you ever called the fire department because your head was stuck in your chair, you might be?

• 21:47Speaker 04

  Michael Scott!

• 21:55Speaker 00

  I thought those were very good and they were also like, they weren't too mean, but they were true.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  And you know, I remember some of the direction the director Jeff Blitz gave me was after the first one goes well, the second one, he was like, why don't you just like, take the mic off the stand and start strutting around.

• 22:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  You're really, she's really feeling herself.

• 22:14Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, Angela had a few more Jeff Foxworthy style jokes in the alts. Angela, will you read them? They make my day.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Sure. If you've ever frozen your hand to your car because you were washing it in the winter, then you might be?

• 22:29Speaker 04

  Michael Scott!

• 22:31Speaker 01

  If you've ever conned a publicly traded corporation into letting you run a branch, you might be?

• 22:37Speaker 04

  Michael Scott!

• 22:38Speaker 01

  If you think the military draft and the football draft are the same thing, you might be?

• 22:44Speaker 04

  Michael Scott!

• 22:45Speaker 00

  So good.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Well, next up is Kelly and here's what made it into the superfan episode.

• 22:52Speaker 05

  I have made a list of people that I would make out with before I would make out with Michael Scott. A turtle, a fridge, anybody from the warehouse, a wood chipper, Kevin, a candle, and Lord Voldemort. Anyway, happy birthday, Michael.

• 23:10Speaker 06

  Yeah. You'd be so lucky!

• 23:13Speaker 01

  So, are you ready for some crazy alts?

• 23:15Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  First of all, in the candy bag, not only does Kelly roast Michael, but then she turns on her coworkers and singles a few people out. Let's start with the alts for her Michael roast. Kelly would have said, "They say a good boss sweats the details. Michael is just really sweaty. Seriously, you guys, it's gross." And another one, "We've made a lot of fun of Michael tonight, but I'd actually like to propose a toast." And she holds up her glass. "Few people in this world are as smart, or as funny, or as good-hearted as Michael Scott thinks he is. So let's all toast this dumb, corny prick."

• 23:55Speaker 00

  Oh my God!

• 23:58Speaker 01

  But are you ready for what she said about Pam?

• 24:01Speaker 00

  Okay, I remember these because I think we shot some of these. They are not in the Superfan episode, but I remember them because Kelly loves to take on Pam.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Here we go. Kelly would have said about Pam, "Pam, if it weren't for you, I'd definitely be the prettiest girl in this office, hands down. And I really wish I didn't always get that competitive vibe from you. The truth is, if I wanted Jim, I could have had him. So get over it." And then she turns to the crowd and goes, "You guys can laugh anytime you want."

• 24:33Speaker 01

  That's what I mean. I feel like I remember that.

• 24:38Speaker 00

  Well, everyone, now get ready because it's Meredith's turn. Let's hear what made it into the episode.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Michael, you ran over me with your car.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board with a caption that said, "Gross."

• 24:57Speaker 06

  Well.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Michael, you are the reason I drink. You are the reason I live to forget.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  That's one of the ones where he does his finger.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  Finger guns. Yes, he also does the drum in that one. All right, well, here is Meredith's crazy alt. Buckle in, it gets dark, folks. Meredith says, "You're the reason I live to forget. You're the reason I go to a gun range to blow off steam. You, Michael Scott, are the reason why I capture small rodents and torture them. Those poor rodents, what did they do?"

• 25:36Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 25:37Speaker 00

  I mean.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  What?

• 25:40Speaker 00

  What?

• 25:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 25:43Speaker 01

  That's dark. It's very dark.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  Very, very intense. But wait, and I remember this from the day. Meredith also had roasts for her other coworkers, including Jim and Pam. I remember this, that there was this like sort of alt storyline where for whatever reason, people pile on Jim and Pam during this roast. So Meredith would have said, "Pam and Jim think they are so cute. Guess what? You didn't invent humping. Get over yourself."

• 26:12Speaker 01

  That's funny. Okay, next up is Oscar, and his roast is extended, okay? It's one of the ones that got extra footage in the Superfan version. I want you to hear it.

• 26:23Speaker 06

  The only man in the state of Pennsylvania who is less likely to get legally married than me is Michael Scott.

• 26:30Speaker 06

  Michael is so bad with money, he invested in Enron last week.

• 26:37Speaker 06

  That was, that was privileged. He thinks balancing a checkbook is putting a checkbook on his nose and shouting, "Look at me, look at me."

• 26:49Speaker 01

  Okay, so he really goes at him, but there was so much more in the candy bag alts. Oscar actually might have had the most alts next to Pam. Lady, there's so many, I think we each share a few.

• 27:02Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  All right, I'll go first. Oscar would have said, "Michael loves jokes. Here's a joke for you. Michael is smart."

• 27:12Speaker 01

  Oscar would have said, "I'd say Michael was as dumb as a rock, but rocks are able to go a whole day without telling a dumb joke. Rocks don't make you sit through meetings about how we're having too many meetings. Rocks don't have parties to celebrate National Pharmacist Day."

• 27:28Speaker 00

  And here's two more.

• 27:31Speaker 00

  Oscar would have said, "Michael, what's the difference between you and a car alarm? At least a car alarm has a purpose." Oh. Or, "Remember when I briefly convinced you that math was spelled M-A-F-F? Worst day of my life."

• 27:46Speaker 01

  Is he walking around saying math?

• 27:48Speaker 00

  Probably.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  And Oscar, like Kelly and Meredith, also turns on his coworkers in the room. Oscar would have said this, "You hear a lot of phrases these days. Layoffs, price at the pump, sinkhole, but enough about Meredith."

• 28:05Speaker 00

  And then he turns on Angela, listen to this one. He said, "What do Dwight and Andy and Alon have in common? Angela has hosed all of them."

• 28:14Speaker 01

  What the hell, Oscar?

• 28:16Speaker 00

  Jeez. Well, now Toby tries to come up to roast Michael, but Michael screams at him. He says, "No, friends only, friends only." So we never get to hear what Toby might have said, but guess what? They did write some jokes in the candy bag alts for Toby. And the thing that is so amazing to me about that is that I know they never had any intention of letting Toby get up on stage to roast Michael.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 28:44Speaker 00

  Never, but the writers could not stop themselves from writing roasts from Toby's perspective anyway.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, they actually wrote alt roasts for every character on the show. We are actually just going by the ones that actually had moments coming up to stage, but there was so much stuff for like everybody.

• 29:04Speaker 00

  There was like this whole weird list of alt jokes where Phyllis gets on stage and roasts Stanley.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Yes, she singles out Stanley.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  For like an entire page.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  I know.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  Craziness. Okay, so here is what Toby might have said if he had had a chance to roast Michael. "They say the ice caps are melting and that polar bears are endangered. Also endangered, all of us, from radon poisoning because Michael doesn't believe it's a serious threat."

• 29:35Speaker 01

  This radon runner is one of my absolute favorite things of the entire show.

• 29:38Speaker 00

  Same. I love his obsession with the radon poisoning. Toby also had this alt. "It's important to remember that Michael was not always the incompetent manager he is today. He used to be an incompetent salesman."

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Now it's Jim's turn, and I want to read you how it's set up in the shooting draft. It says, "Jim comes up and puts a large diagram on an easel. It shows an outline of a man's body with arrows pointing to various body parts. His roast in the superfan is much longer than what originally aired. I want you guys to hear it."

• 30:14Speaker 03

  These are actually injuries that Michael has had. Starting off with repeated burnt tongue from overeager Pop-Tart consumption.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  A torn ACL from trying to hurdle Angela one day.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Bruised testy, same scenario. You burned your foot on a Foreman grill.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  These are just a few things that have been caught in Michael's zipper. His finger, a sandwich. Kevin's finger, trying to remove that sandwich.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Big question mark. That would stand for a list of contents that are in Michael's stomach that we know of. A pound of chewing gum, two peach pits, at least five keys from the Houdini magic handcuff set. Oh, his new favorite are these new edible M&M wrappers. But they're not edible because it was an internet hoax.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  What else? Well, several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary.

• 31:17Speaker 06

  I know where this is going.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  Do you?

• 31:19Speaker 06

  No.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  Okay. Remember spider face?

• 31:22Speaker 06

  No.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  Okay, because the quote was, "Cut off your nose to spider face."

• 31:26Speaker 06

  Spider, okay.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  So the alts for Jim were just more and more speeches like that, just more and more things. And it was so long, but we thought just playing the extended clip would give you an idea.

• 31:42Speaker 00

  Well, next up, Dwight gets very upset. He goes up on stage, he's going to defend Michael.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:49Speaker 00

  But Michael and him end up getting into a fight. And then Dwight inadvertently roasts him by calling him a pathetic, short, little man that doesn't have any friends or family or any land. And guess what? There were no alts for that.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  None.

• 32:04Speaker 00

  No. I think this was a very important plot point that you see Dwight, like, turn on Michael.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:11Speaker 00

  Because it's really like now Michael is like kind of without a defender or any friends, like truly.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  He's solo.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  He's totally alone up there. And then it's Pam's turn. Oh, my goodness, lady. Pam is gonna tie with Oscar for best snarky roast in the Candy Bag alts. First, let's hear what made it into the actual episode.

• 32:39Speaker 00

  To talk to you all about something very serious. Once every hour, someone is involved in an internet scam. That man is Michael Scott. He's supporting about 20 Nigerian princesses.

• 32:51Speaker 06

  Hey, you know what? Forgive me for caring, right?

• 32:56Speaker 00

  Well, you know, Michael is a great delegator. He never does any work himself, ever. And one time, I walked in on him naked. And his thing is so small.

• 33:08Speaker 03

  How small is it?

• 33:11Speaker 00

  If it were an iPod, it would be a shuffle.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 33:16Speaker 00

  I know.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  She went there.

• 33:17Speaker 00

  She went there.

• 33:18Speaker 01

  Can I say one thing?

• 33:20Speaker 00

  What?

• 33:20Speaker 01

  Since I am Michael's mangled phrases of this duo.

• 33:24Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  You are Michael's internet scam person. You have, over the course of our friendship, fallen for several internet scams. Sam knows it as well.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  Including our Enneagram test that I made everybody take.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  Where we paid $1.95 and then we found out.

• 33:43Speaker 00

  That we were secretly charged. We were secretly entered into a subscription.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  For $35 a month.

• 33:50Speaker 00

  I'm so sorry, everybody. It did seem too good to be true.

• 33:54Speaker 04

  It was truly perfect. It took a full day before it debited out of my account.

• 34:01Speaker 01

  Anyway, okay.

• 34:03Speaker 00

  You're right.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  So we are the perfect duo, lady.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  You know what I also did? My daughter came to me. What was it she wanted? A jelly cat.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  Oh, you were so excited. I saw this whole journey. At first, you're like, Ange, these jelly cats are on sale.

• 34:19Speaker 00

  But only for the next hour.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  Well, like, I had to quickly, like, log on. And I'm so excited because we got these jelly cats.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  Yes. And so, like, I went on and I, like, I entered my credit card information. And then it said something and it needed a different credit card. I'm like, ah! So I'm like, I'm in a rush. I entered three credit cards.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  You guys.

• 34:39Speaker 00

  Three.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  You gave up.

• 34:41Speaker 00

  All my credit cards. And, um.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  You had to cancel your credit card.

• 34:46Speaker 00

  Cancel all my credit cards. And the way we found out was the next morning. My daughter was like, Mom, the sale is still going on.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  And you're like, but I thought it was only an hour.

• 34:58Speaker 00

  I'm like, I, when I went on the website, there was like a countdown clock. And I was like, wait. And I went back and it was the same countdown clock.

• 35:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:07Speaker 00

  Lady, it gets worse.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  You think it can't get worse. I texted that link to the mom chat. I was like, guys, Jelly Cats are on sale for an hour.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  So you got me and Sam and Matt in an internet scam and the mom text thread.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  The mom text thread. And so that morning I was like, oh my God, I hope no one ordered any Jelly Cats. Guess what? It's a scam. They're not actually selling Jelly Cats for $15 for an hour.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Credit card information.

• 35:35Speaker 00

  And they were like, it's okay. We didn't order any. But it's for a living. No. Oh my God. Now you know why we had to dance so hard last night. We've been through a lot.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  You've been through a lot together. Anyway, I'm just saying, we both are sides of Michael.

• 35:52Speaker 00

  This is true. This is very true.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  Back to Pam, you have to share some of Pam's roast alts for Michael, Jenna.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  She does have some good roast alts. Okay, here they are. Michael is so dumb that Kevin thinks he's dumb. Michael Scott is to comedy as Angela is to comedy.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 36:12Speaker 00

  I know. All right. How about this one? No one in the office spends more time with Michael than I do. Anyone up for tradesies?

• 36:22Speaker 00

  Michael doesn't wash his hands after he pees. On many occasions, I've watched him go right from the bathroom into his office to eat a sandwich. Michael is a piss eater, everyone.

• 36:34Speaker 01

  Someone else doesn't wash their hands sometimes.

• 36:36Speaker 00

  I don't touch my business when I pee.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  And then you don't eat after you pee.

• 36:41Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 36:43Speaker 00

  And then this one, what's the difference between a hockey mom and Michael Scott? A hockey mom has children.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 36:51Speaker 00

  Too mean.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  Pam.

• 36:53Speaker 00

  Too far. How about this one? Scientists say that a man who stares at boobs for 10 minutes a day can add many years to his life. So by my count, Michael will live to about 307.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  Oh. What did he call him, Pam and her Pam Pam?

• 37:08Speaker 00

  Pam and her Pam Pam, so many.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  There's so many.

• 37:10Speaker 00

  So many things.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  All right, you guys, but then Pam is gonna roast the room. And she goes scorched earth on her coworkers.

• 37:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  Listen to these alts. Pam would have said, I'm not sure any of you know this, but Andy Bernard went to Cornell, where he majored in never shutting up about Cornell. If Cornell is so fricking good, what the hell are you doing in Dunder Mifflin? Most of us got here without any community college. Hey, Andy, can you sing tenor, 10 or 12 miles away from here?

• 37:42Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  And then she would have turned on Toby. Pam would have said, Toby, Scarborough Fair is depressing enough, but having to hear you hum it over and over every day is about as fun as your Costa Rica pictures.

• 37:56Speaker 00

  Oh, Toby would not have recovered.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  No. And then Pam just really opens up. She would have said, hey, Michael, what's with the world's best boss mug? You don't see Meredith with a mug that says virgin. You don't see Jim with humble, R. Kelly with fascinating, or Kevin with genius, or Creed with normal, or the entire office with a mug that says this place doesn't suck.

• 38:19Speaker 00

  Okay, that one actually really made me laugh.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  I just have to point out, does Pam actually think Jim is-

• 38:30Speaker 00

  Is a little smudge?

• 38:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:32Speaker 00

  I think so. All right. Well, next up is Daryl. And rather than roasting Michael, he asked him if he can name one of the warehouse workers who is sitting in the back of the room. And Michael cannot, even though said warehouse guy gave him a ride home the week before, and they spent an hour in traffic.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. And as it turns out, the guy's name was Michael.

• 38:57Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  Super cringey. But Daryl did have a few roast alts. Here are two. Daryl would have said, here's a list of all the song parodies Michael has asked me to work on with him. Pour Some Sugar on Meat. Born in East LA, I had to tell him that already existed. I Want to Hold Your Boobs. My Fart Will Go On. The Fart of Rock and Roll. Boner of a lonely fart. Every time you go away, you take a piece of pee with poo.

• 39:31Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 39:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. Michael really loves a song where he can work in the word fart.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  He really does.

• 39:37Speaker 01

  Here's another one. Daryl would have said, Michael's in pretty good shape. But I guess it's easy to get to the gym when you don't have any friends, family, or people who don't want to choke your ass out. Michael's the only person on MySpace that Tom won't be friends with.

• 39:51Speaker 00

  Wow, a MySpace joke.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  I mean, people really are going at him for being like, no friend, no kids.

• 39:59Speaker 00

  I know. It's rough. It's really rough. Well, after Daryl, Oscar comes back up on the stage, and he has Jan on speakerphone, and she just roasts the heck out of Michael. We played that clip in our original breakdown, but basically, she says, you ruined my life. Everything you touch turns to crap. You have no sense of how to please any woman. I can't believe you wrote a phone message on my diploma, and you used my daughter's christening gown as a bib when you ate ribs. You are just completely an ass, Michael. And then I shared one of my favorite candy bag alts for this when we first broke this down, but there were so many more, I have to read you two of Jan's alts. One, Michael stole my soul and used it as toilet paper.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  So dramatic.

• 40:43Speaker 00

  I know. This is why I like Jan, the drama. Also, if mankind was truly created in God's image, Michael is proof that our Creator had genital wart.

• 40:55Speaker 00

  So rough.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  Okay, well, the roast of Michael Scott ends with Andy. You know, he's gonna get up and sing a song parody.

• 41:03Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  Let's hear it.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  I mean, I know we're here to talk about the roast, but every time Andy has to end a song with a "hoo-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee," it gets me every time.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  Okay, so the candy bag alts were mostly more lyrics for this song, okay? But there was one roast alt that was so on-brand for Andy, I just want to share it. You know Andy's love of nicknames?

• 42:07Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  Okay, Andy would have said, "Michael, I've been trying to find a nickname for you, but there are so many good ones, I thought I'd give you the top 10. Boss Lady, $10 Suit, The Incombinator, Hair Club for Men, Pubes, Toilet Monster, Bad Breath Jeff, that might have been on Garbage Pail Kid, Mr. Lonely Pants, Michael Snot, and drumroll, Childless Failure."

• 42:35Speaker 00

  Oh, oh my gosh. I feel like Boss Lady and $10 Suit are just references to that same episode where Michael bought the lady's suit.

• 42:45Speaker 01

  And when I first read this, I thought it was Hair Club for Men Pubes. Like one.

• 42:50Speaker 00

  One thing?

• 42:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then I was like, oh, there's a comma.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  So after the roast ends, Michael does not take things well. I mean, it's, that was rough on him.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:01Speaker 00

  He had planned to stand up and kind of roast everybody back.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:05Speaker 00

  But he can't get through it. He walks off the stage, he like, does that, oh, that super awkward, heartbreaking moment where he like runs into the drum and has to set it back up again.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  I know.

• 43:15Speaker 00

  So he actually takes a personal day. He puts on his turtleneck, he reflects at the park, he ultimately comes back into the office and decides that he is gonna roast everyone.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:26Speaker 00

  Let's hear it.

• 43:30Speaker 06

  Jim, you're 6'11" and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom, roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom, roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom, roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys, you're starting to look like one. Boom, roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom, roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom, roasted. Angela, where's Angela? Well, there you are, I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom, roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom, roasted. Oscar, you are...

• 44:12Speaker 06

  Oscar? You're gay. Wow. Andy, Cornell Hall, they think you suck. And you're gayer than Oscar. Boom, roasted. Boom, roasted.

• 44:28Speaker 06

  Alright, everybody, you know I kid.

• 44:32Speaker 06

  You know I kid. You guys are the reason that I went into the paper business. So, uh, goodnight, God bless, God bless America, and get home safe.

• 44:47Speaker 00

  I love how he ends it with what he would have said the night before.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, he just fully reads his whole roast.

• 44:53Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  I thought both Steve and Leslie David Baker did such a great job of building that laugh moment and that feeling of acceptance and that everything's going to be okay. Both of them.

• 45:05Speaker 00

  Same.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  It's really great.

• 45:06Speaker 00

  Same. Well, there were a lot of alts for Michael's roast of the room. In particular, for Creed, these few cracked me up. Creed, how about you trim your ear hair once in a while? Boom, roasted. Creed, you're so old, you send money to PBS. Boom, roasted. Creed, at your age, getting lucky is finding your reading glasses. Bam, zoom, roasted. Creed, you're so old, an all-nighter means not having to get up to pee. Boom, roasted.

• 45:36Speaker 01

  And then there were a few for Toby, too. But I just am going to read my favorite. Ready?

• 45:42Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Michael would have said, Toby, [BLEEP] you. Boom, roasted.

• 45:47Speaker 00

  It was like in all caps.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  It's in all caps.

• 45:50Speaker 00

  Oh, so Michael's roast ultimately is a hit. He does make Stanley laugh. And the episode ends with a Michael talking head where he says, they say that laughter is the best medicine. So Stanley, you can throw away those pills. You are cured. Actually, you should better hold on to them pills, just in case.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  Well, I thought we should end this special Boom Roasted episode with one last candy bag alt. It's one for Michael. It's his talking head at the end, and here's what he would have said. There's a lot of kinds of laughter. There's the little chuckle, like when someone tells you a joke. And it says, in parentheses, he chuckles. There's that uncontrollable giggling, like when your friends just told you an embarrassing secret. In parentheses, he giggles. There's the big belly laugh, like when you watch a Robin Williams movie. Michael does a belly laugh. And then there's the laughter that comes from the heart laughter. Stanley's heart might have stopped working, but it kept on laughing. And I would rather laugh than work. That's just me.

• 46:54Speaker 00

  It's kind of sweet.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Heart laughter.

• 46:57Speaker 00

  Heart laughter. Lady, you give me heart laughter.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 47:01Speaker 00

  You make me laugh really hard.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  Same.

• 47:04Speaker 00

  And it's nice.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  It is. It's healthy.

• 47:07Speaker 00

  Yes, very. And Lee makes me laugh.

• 47:10Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 47:11Speaker 00

  I feel so fortunate.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, Josh really cracks me up. I mean, in our family, everyone thinks Josh is the funny one. Like, he's the one that gets us all, because you don't see it coming.

• 47:20Speaker 00

  Well, you know, my kids voted on who was the funniest in our family.

• 47:24Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 47:25Speaker 00

  I came in fifth. Like, after the pets.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Oh, after the pets?

• 47:31Speaker 00

  Well, I guess the only thing I'm funnier than is the dog.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  Oh, Maggie, Maggie's not funny.

• 47:37Speaker 00

  Everybody else, I was like.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  That's such a funny thing to say, though.

• 47:40Speaker 00

  It's only, it's only how I make my living.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  I know.

• 47:44Speaker 00

  As a comedic actress and podcaster, but whatever.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  I know.

• 47:48Speaker 00

  Not a big deal. Not funny to my family.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, Josh is the funny one in my family. But I think I'm funnier than our animals. I don't know, I haven't asked, who knows? I'll get back to you.

• 47:58Speaker 00

  Let me know. All right, well, that was really fun. I really loved those candy bag alts. That was, that was nice.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  I mean, I spent like a whole day reading them. I know you did too. And it was like, I could hear everyone's voices, you know? And it was so fun.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  Well, let's take a break. And when we come back, it's time for Around the Town and our Office Question of the Week.

• 48:27Speaker 01

  I feel like the guys on my holiday gift list are always the hardest to shop for. Because I don't know, I don't know, like, what's the trend? What do they want? I have teenage boys, it can be tricky.

• 48:37Speaker 00

  No, my husband, my dad, and my son are my three hardest to shop for. And I don't want to go the gift card route. This year, I am determined, I'm going to get each of these fellows something great. And I've got a good place to go to give me some ideas. You know it, it's the Macy's Online Gift Guide. You know what they have right now? They've got the Levi's five, seven, eight baggy jeans. Like, those are in, those are in.

• 49:04Speaker 01

  I know.

• 49:04Speaker 00

  And I've been buying my dad something fashion from Macy's every year now for Father's Day and Christmas.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  It's so cute.

• 49:12Speaker 00

  And he loves it.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Well, they have the Club Room Cashmere Crewnecks sweaters. I mean, you can dress things up, you can dress it down. They have a great guide for you.

• 49:21Speaker 00

  Check out Macy's online gift guide for even more ideas.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  Shop now at macy's.com/giftguide to find the perfect gift for him this holiday season. There's one thing that will forever change the way you sleep, and it's the softest 100% organic cotton bedding from Bull and Branch. You'll fall asleep faster, wrapped in the most luxurious comfort. You'll never sleep hot again with airy blankets, cloud-like duvets, and breathable sheets. You'll experience pure comfort on night one and feel your bedding gets softer with Every Wash. Discover the difference with 15% off your first order at bullandbranch.com with code ODYSKY. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  We are back, and Sam, we had a few people write in and say they miss your Around the Town sting. So I thought we should make sure we play it today.

• 50:12Speaker 04

  Absolutely. Here we go. Around the town!

• 50:18Speaker 04

  It's so stupid.

• 50:19Speaker 00

  It's so perfect.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  I love it so much. All right, let's start with one from our snail mail. Alice B. from Massachusetts wrote in to say, "Ladies, I know you love a fun summer trip, so I wanted to write you about an amazing festival. My family and I went last year and had a great time. It's the Revere Beach International Sand Sculpting Festival. Professional sand sculptors from all over the world come here, and what they do with sand is unbelievable. True works of art. Plus, there's great food, lots of entertainment, and fireworks, and Revere Beach is easy to get to from Boston. So if you love the beach and sandcastles, this is the one for you. Come visit us in Massachusetts. We love you, ladies."

• 51:02Speaker 00

  I mean, that sounds cool.

• 51:04Speaker 01

  I know.

• 51:04Speaker 00

  It always sounds cool. When can we do this stuff? I think it's after our kids graduate school. I mean, we just have to be here right now.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  Well, listen, I'm firmly believing Office Ladies is going to go on forever. We have our back library that's always going to run, and maybe we can just hop on and have some travel journal chats.

• 51:22Speaker 00

  Oh, that's a fun idea.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  Like if we finally get to go to all these things.

• 51:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, we'll just come in and we'll read our journals of going to the Revere Beach International Sand Sculpting Festival. I would love to hear each of our takes on that.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  Me too. And like what we ate?

• 51:37Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  I went to the website, and this festival happens end of July. The artwork is unbelievable. Like, the sand art is unbelievable. Alice, you're right.

• 51:49Speaker 00

  Lady, I have another place for us to go.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 51:52Speaker 00

  We got in around the town from Stephanie D. in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, who says, "Mount Trashmore in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, is a former landfill with 6 million tons of garbage, transformed into a recreation destination with walking and bicycling trails and a scenic overlook of the city." Stephanie said, "I am currently working on completing the annual Mount Trashmore Challenge for the second time."

• 52:19Speaker 01

  What is that?

• 52:20Speaker 00

  Okay, you can earn prizes and you get your name on the annual challenge plaque if you hit 140 climbs of Mount Trashmore, because that is the equivalent of Mount Everest.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 52:35Speaker 00

  Stephanie said, "Your podcast keeps me positive, smiling, and entertained as I put in another climb toward my goal. Thank you for keeping me company along the way. I love that trash has been turned into a community asset that provides individuals an opportunity to meet new people, get active, and celebrate one another's successes." Lady, I want to climb Mount Trashmore with you.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  I mean, and also Stephanie, what a positive thing, you know?

• 53:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  Gosh, I love that. I would climb it with you. Can we climb it one time? Do we have to climb it 140?

• 53:08Speaker 00

  We just go one time.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 53:10Speaker 00

  Also, I happen to love Iowa. I have a little bit of a sweet spot for Iowa, because it's right on the border of Missouri, and we used to go into a Tamoa for really good, like, loose meat hamburgers when I was in college.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  I've never been to Iowa.

• 53:27Speaker 00

  Oh, it's great.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  Well, there we go.

• 53:29Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  Gosh, put it on our list.

• 53:32Speaker 00

  I know this one's saying.

• 53:33Speaker 01

  This list is getting long. Okay, that's what she said.

• 53:37Speaker 00

  Did she say that?

• 53:38Speaker 01

  I don't know. This list is, no, it's not getting long.

• 53:41Speaker 00

  I don't think she said it.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  If it's getting long, it's growing, guys.

• 53:44Speaker 00

  You could say, "This thing is getting long."

• 53:46Speaker 01

  Sam said, "I will allow it."

• 53:48Speaker 00

  You're allowing this.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  Oh, watch yourself, counselor.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 53:50Speaker 00

  Oh, boy.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  All right. Michelle E. from New Albany, Indiana, wrote in and said, "Hi, office ladies. First off, I wanted to say how much I love your show." Thank you, Michelle. And then Michelle said, "I wanted to share something cool my daughter's school did the other day. They did a wax museum and had to do a report on famous Hoosiers. She told me that one of her best friends was doing her report on Jenna Fisher." I was quick to reply that Jenna was not a Hoosier and she grew up in St. Louis, since I feel like I know so much about you guys. I then discovered, Jenna, you were born in Fort Wayne, which I guess makes you a Hoosier. There were several girls that did their reports on you, since there was more than one class and maybe not that many famous Hoosiers. But I still thought it was neat and wanted to share.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  Thank you again for all you do.

• 54:37Speaker 00

  Well, it's true, Michelle. I was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana. My folks grew up in St. Louis, but my dad was transferred there for work. That's where I was born. I think I lived there less than two years. We moved away when I was pretty little. And I did then grow up in St. Louis. I've never been back to Fort Wayne. I almost went to college. My second choice school when I did my college tours was Butler University in Indiana, because they had a really good dance program.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  And your mom has shared on this show that you and Emily, your sister, were very good dancers.

• 55:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, I, I knew though, like, when I went to visit, I was like, I don't have it to make this program. So, but I loved the campus. But I've never been back to Fort Wayne. I've kind of wanted to go.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  Do you have any memories of Fort Wayne? Were you that young?

• 55:26Speaker 00

  Um, I was young enough that I don't have any memories. So from Fort Wayne, my family moved to California for about two years.

• 55:34Speaker 04

  Do you remember that?

• 55:35Speaker 00

  I do. I remember that we had an above-ground swimming pool. And I would swim in the pool with the dog. And I remembered that we had a lemon tree and I used to pick the lemons and eat them right off the tree.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  Ooh, wow.

• 55:47Speaker 00

  So I have two very faint memories of California.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Wait, you can just...

• 55:51Speaker 04

  I don't think you're supposed to...

• 55:52Speaker 01

  You can bite into a lemon, lady, to this day? Can you just eat a lemon like an apple?

• 55:57Speaker 00

  No, I mean...

• 55:57Speaker 04

  You're Creed eating the onion right now.

• 55:59Speaker 00

  No, I mean, like, I, people do that all the time.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  Okay, so you cut the lemon open?

• 56:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, and then you like lick it, you squeeze it.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  And can you still do that? And it doesn't give you the weepy jibis?

• 56:11Speaker 00

  No, no, no, I could maybe do that with like a Meyer lemon. But I guess I just loved lemons. Oh, I also remember we had snails and I used to take the snails and like put them on my arm. Those are my memories, snails, lemons, and an above-ground pool. That was my childhood.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  All right, I think it is time for the office question of the week. This is from Bonnie P. in Kitchener, Ontario.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  Hi Jenna and Angela. I am currently listening to the episode Dwight K. Schrute, Acting Manager, and I have a question about The Office that I have been dying to ask. Who designed the logo for Dunder Mifflin? It bears a striking resemblance to the logo of the company that my husband works for. This company, and by the way Bonnie, I hope I'm saying this correctly, but Bonnie said, "The company's name is Malal Blamey Construction, and it was founded in 1982 in Waterloo, Ontario. So it and the logo has been around for longer than The Office. Is this just a coincidence? Do a comparison and let me know what you think. Thank you. Here's the picture. Bonnie." All right, let's look at this picture.

• 57:17Speaker 00

  Well, listen, it is blue.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  And it's kind of got that-

• 57:20Speaker 00

  With white-

• 57:21Speaker 01

  -white framing.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  Big letters.

• 57:24Speaker 04

  The spacing of the words is close, too. Like, they're physically very, very close together.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  I mean, I see a similarity. I'm very curious. Bonnie, we will do a side-by-side and put it in our stories, but I do see the similarity you're talking about.

• 57:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, I see the similarity. I think it's different enough, but it is similar. I really liked this question because I realized this is something that we have never dug into. Where did this logo, this very famous logo that is all over the place now, on shirts and on actual reams of paper, like, who did design this? So I reached out to Greg, and Greg said, "The original one would have been in the pilot. Our pilot episode had a different production designer than our longtime production designer, Michael Gallenberg." This was true. Our DP on the pilot was different from our longtime DP, Randall Einhorn, who took over once the show got picked up.

• 58:24Speaker 00

  So same with our production designer. The production designer on our pilot was Donald Lee Harris, and within his department, Henry Sane was credited as the graphic designer. So Greg said his guess is Henry must have designed it. And he just remembers that Michael Gallenberg made variations of it for different uses. But Greg said it would be interesting to find out if you can track down either Donald Lee Harris or Henry Sane and ask, because Greg added that at one point, he was told that the Dunder Mifflin fictional brand is the second most famous fictional brand after Duff Beer from The Simpsons.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 59:07Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 59:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  Well, Jenna, this also got me curious about the logo of the BBC version of The Office for their company, Wernham Hogg. So I looked it up because I couldn't remember it.

• 59:21Speaker 00

  Me either, now that you mention it. Does it look like the Dunder Mifflin one?

• 59:25Speaker 01

  Not at all. Look at it. It's totally different. I'll put it in stories.

• 59:28Speaker 00

  Oh, very different. It's red and black and yeah.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  The font's different. It's not framed in any way. It's got like a big W and then the letters come off that giant W.

• 59:39Speaker 00

  Yes. Well, I found Henry Sane on IMDb. He directed Bounty Hunter. He has an extensive resume for graphic design. I was hoping to see if there was like some trivia about him. I tried to dig around, like, is there anything attributed to him for having designed this very famous logo? I couldn't find anything, but I did find some contact information for his manager. So maybe we can reach out.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:04Speaker 00

  Matt is on vacation this week. He's high up on a mountain. So when he's back, maybe we can get to the bottom of it.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  And Henry, hey, if you're hearing this, write us.

• 1:00:15Speaker 00

  Yes, or anyone who knows Henry or anyone who knows who designed this logo. We want to hear from you.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  All right. Well, this was just a ton of fun. I had such a great time. I was so excited today coming into work. Josh was like, what are you so chipper about? And I was like, well, I don't know. I just get to go talk with my boss for him.

• 1:00:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  I don't know why I'm saying it like that.

• 1:00:36Speaker 00

  I don't either. I don't either. But I, I felt the same way. You know, I'm taking off for my summer vacation after we record this episode.

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  I know. You're on vacay, lady.

• 1:00:47Speaker 00

  I know. So I was sort of aware, like, oh, it's going to be a couple of weeks before I get to see you and record again. So this was a nice send off. Thanks.

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  Well, I'm doing a little vacay myself, lady.

• 1:01:00Speaker 00

  You're doing a bucket list vacay.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  I really am. It is something I've wanted to do, I mean, my whole life, really. I'm going to Wimbledon, you guys. I'm going to Wimbledon. I can't wait. And I'm just giddy about it. I think I've sent you like eight pictures of like, what do I wear?

• 1:01:19Speaker 00

  I am so, so excited for you. I think we need to do a summer travel journal episode. I will share about Lake of the Ozarks, and I think you should share about this Wimbledon trip.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  Okay, done.

• 1:01:37Speaker 00

  All right. Well, on that note, everyone, thank you so much. We hope you are also having a great summer, and we will be back next week with another episode.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  See you then. Boom roasted.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  Boom roasted.

• 1:01:53Speaker 00

  Thank you for listening to Office Ladies.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey.

• 1:02:00Speaker 00

  Our senior producer is Matt Beagle. And our audio engineer is Sam Kiefer.

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Reese Dennis.

• 1:02:08Speaker 00

  Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz.

• 1:02:11Speaker 01

  Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton.