Sean McLoughlin

One of our favourite stand-ups, Sean McLoughlin, joins us in the Dream Restaurant this week. Who else remembers when the £2 coin was launched? Sean McLoughlin is on tour now with ‘White Elephant’. For dates and tickets go to seanmcloughlincomedy.com https://seanmcloughlincomedy.com/ ‘The Sean McTalk Show’ is available on YouTube and podcast apps. Watch it here https://www.youtube.com/@SeanMcLoughlinComedy. Follow Sean on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/seanmcloughlincomedy/ @seanmcloughlincomedy and YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@SeanMcLoughlinComedy. Watch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast on Thu 12 Feb. Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcast https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast Follow Off Menu on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/offmenuofficial and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@offmenuofficial: @offmenuofficial. And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk https://www.offmenupodcast.co.uk/ for a list of restaurants recommended on the show. Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster. Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Video production by Megan McCarthy for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Artwork by Paul Gilbey https://www.instagram.com/pushgilbey/ (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

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• 2:10Speaker 03

  Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the bovril of conversation, putting it in the mug of humour and adding the hot water of friendship. Nice cup of bovril, James.

• 2:23Speaker 04

  Beefy.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  Beefy boy.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  That is Ed Gamble. My name is James A. Cassad. We own a drink restaurant. Every single week, we invite a guest and ask them their favourite ever. Start in main course, desserts, cider and drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is Sean McGlocklin.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Sean McGlocklin, one of the finest comedians in this here land.

• 2:42Speaker 04

  So funny.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Such a funny guy. I've known Sean for years and years and years. He's always been brilliant.

• 2:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:49Speaker 03

  And is on tour now.

• 2:51Speaker 04

  He's on tour now.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  Doing his show White Elephant, going all over the place. Sean tours Europe, he tours the States, he tours the UK. You've got to go and see Sean. If you don't know Sean's work, I'd say go and watch some now and then buy yourself a ticket because he is genuinely brilliant.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  I'd say every comic that you like, likes Sean McGlocklin.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Yes, absolutely. He's a comics comic, isn't he?

• 3:12Speaker 04

  He absolutely is.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  But increasingly is becoming the public's comic.

• 3:15Speaker 04

  As well he should be.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 3:18Speaker 04

  And here's the thing, Ed, we will chuck Sean out if he says the secret ingredient.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  I'd like to chuck Sean out.

• 3:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, it'd be so much fun.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:26Speaker 04

  Because Sean, you know, can be a bit of a curmudgeon on stage.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  He's so exasperated.

• 3:31Speaker 04

  It'd be so great to get him angry and kick him out.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  And this week, the secret ingredient is elephant.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  It's elephant because he's doing a show called White Elephant. So I don't think we're going to be able to kick him out. Because that's what, I don't think anyone's ever picked elephant as a meal.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  No, but, you know, he might see the opportunity to plug his show, choose elephant just to plug it and then be immediately punished.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:52Speaker 04

  For thinking with his career rather than his stomach. Oh, also, talking about his career.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  He's got a web series coming out.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's not told us what it's called yet.

• 4:02Speaker 04

  No.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  We know he's got a web series, but we don't know the title yet.

• 4:05Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  At the time of recording, the web series has not started.

• 4:09Speaker 04

  Not started.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  But hopefully by the time this comes out, the web series will be available to watch on YouTube.

• 4:14Speaker 04

  Be on YouTube, it'll be Sean, I believe, interviewing people, but like, that's all we know.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  So he's said that he wants to tell us on the podcast.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  Yes. Sean McGlocklin comedy dot com for tickets to Sean's tour.

• 4:27Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  Let's get into it. This is the off-menu menu of Sean McGlocklin.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Welcome, Sean, to the Dream Restaurant.

• 4:41Speaker 05

  Hello, everyone.

• 4:42Speaker 04

  Welcome, Sean McGlocklin to the Dream Restaurant, best party ever, sub time.

• 4:46Speaker 05

  My word. Thank you. Thank you, both of you.

• 4:48Speaker 04

  Good to see you, Sean.

• 4:49Speaker 05

  How are you?

• 4:50Speaker 04

  Pretty good.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  You two haven't seen each other for years.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  We were trying to figure out when we last saw each other.

• 4:55Speaker 05

  I think there was a chance we saw each other at what had then been our agent's Christmas party, and you walked in as I was leaving.

• 5:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's.

• 5:05Speaker 05

  And I was about to say that, and you went, Sean, and I said, I've got to go, man.

• 5:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, that sums up our relationship, I think.

• 5:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:11Speaker 04

  Me and Sean, ships in the night.

• 5:13Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 5:14Speaker 04

  But still, we'll still like honk the horn.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, I'll always honk that horn.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  On the way past. What a couple of lovely ships, may I say.

• 5:20Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 5:21Speaker 05

  Thank you. Beautiful schooters.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, beautiful schooners, me and Sean.

• 5:25Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  And we saw each other in Manchester.

• 5:27Speaker 05

  We saw each other in Manchester.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Yes, I just filmed my special.

• 5:30Speaker 05

  Mm hmm.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  And you were doing a gig as well, and we were staying in the same hotel, as it turned out.

• 5:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  And then.

• 5:36Speaker 04

  That's the best.

• 5:37Speaker 05

  Do you know who else was staying in the hotel that night?

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Who?

• 5:39Speaker 05

  The new manager of Manchester United.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, you did tell me that, and I didn't care.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  Alex Ferguson.

• 5:45Speaker 05

  Exactamundo.

• 5:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:46Speaker 05

  Let's hope the class of ninety-two work out.

• 5:48Speaker 04

  Fergie?

• 5:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:50Speaker 04

  Do you support Manchester United, you're a football fan? Who do you like?

• 5:52Speaker 05

  I support Queens Park Rangers.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  Who do you like?

• 5:57Speaker 04

  Is that not how people ask?

• 5:59Speaker 05

  I support QPR and I don't think I like them.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  You know what?

• 6:03Speaker 05

  They are my team.

• 6:03Speaker 03

  And I, because obviously I don't, I don't follow football.

• 6:06Speaker 05

  Mm hmm.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  I didn't think they were a team anymore.

• 6:08Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 6:09Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  I've not heard about QPR for years.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  Les Ferdinand.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, Les, that's all I know.

• 6:14Speaker 05

  When is, is this podcast being released in the past? Because every reference is pretty old.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Eventually it will.

• 6:20Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  As soon as it comes out, it'll be in the past.

• 6:23Speaker 05

  I mean, you, you, you're twisting my melon here. Okay, yeah, I guess it, yeah, I guess it will be, yeah.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:29Speaker 05

  As soon as this releases in the past.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  Immediately out of date, that's the, that is sad about podcasts.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:34Speaker 05

  It is one of the great tragedies of podcasts, that they, that they do go out of date.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 05

  Fuck, what are we doing here, boys?

• 6:40Speaker 04

  Immediately a thing of the past.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Don't, I can see you're about to go full Sean McLoughlin.

• 6:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't overthink everything you've said and start panicking that it's not going well. Because I can see, I can see it on your face.

• 6:50Speaker 05

  All right.

• 6:51Speaker 04

  You're about to declare this is a waste of time.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:53Speaker 05

  Never, never. Really happy to be here, delighted. And it's good to see you again, James, good to see you again, Ed.

• 6:58Speaker 04

  Yeah. Lovely to see you. Um, before we started recording, Benito told you to save it for the pod because you asked us, um, what is the, what was the phrasing of the question?

• 7:09Speaker 03

  The lamest thing you'd do.

• 7:10Speaker 04

  What is the lamest job you would do?

• 7:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, we were talking about TV shows, uh, that you had either been offered or maybe were going to go see or whatever. Uh, like sort of celebrity Saturday night type entertainment shows.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Like entertainment, yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 05

  And I'm curious, because you two are definitely in the world where you would be offered those sort of shows.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Now and again.

• 7:28Speaker 05

  And I'm, I'm curious, what is the worst one of those that you would say yes to?

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Well, it depends what you mean by worst, because I'd only do things that I would enjoy doing and watching anyway.

• 7:37Speaker 04

  Well, yes, there's the threshold of like, yeah, knowing, okay, technically that's, you know, not a good TV show.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:44Speaker 04

  But I like it.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:46Speaker 04

  So I'll say yes to it.

• 7:47Speaker 05

  Like if they did like celebrities run a leisure centre, would you do that?

• 7:50Speaker 03

  Probably not, I'd wait for it to bake in for a series, I think.

• 7:53Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 7:53Speaker 04

  Is that the British Empire?

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:55Speaker 05

  I have no idea.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  Celebrity British Empire is a great idea.

• 7:57Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 7:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, something like that, yeah.

• 8:00Speaker 04

  I mean, we, we went on the run, we did Hunted.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  Which is, you know. You genuinely are on the run, you're not having a lovely life for a week.

• 8:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  We did have a lovely life though, we went to so many nice restaurants.

• 8:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, we went to Mission Star Restaurant.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  We ended every day with a pint.

• 8:14Speaker 05

  Is that gonna destroy the reputation of the show, you saying that?

• 8:17Speaker 04

  I don't think so, you know, we kind of openly did it on camera and they had every chance to catch us and they didn't do it. So I think anyone who is gonna go on the run, just know that you can still like live a life of luxury.

• 8:28Speaker 05

  Yeah. When you say on the run, you mean on just this show, you don't mean in general, if you go on the run.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  I think so.

• 8:33Speaker 05

  If the police are after you, you can live the life of luxury.

• 8:35Speaker 04

  I think that is a good bit of advice for anyone who's genuinely on the run from the coppers.

• 8:39Speaker 05

  Hiding in plain sight.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Also, I don't know if you know this, but prisons are basically luxury now anyway.

• 8:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, these days.

• 8:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know if you've heard.

• 8:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, I have heard actually.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 04

  They're luxury.

• 8:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, you kept talking about that before the recording.

• 8:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:50Speaker 05

  I actually, I actually thought you needed to tone down the rhetoric.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I tell you what, Sean, you might stop staying in those hotels with the Man United guys and getting a, a prison.

• 9:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's what I should have done.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:02Speaker 05

  That's what I thought ours was missing.

• 9:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 05

  I don't know what, I mean, what shows, what shows are there, give me some examples. I don't watch television.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 9:09Speaker 04

  Dancing on Ice.

• 9:10Speaker 05

  Dancing on Ice, would you do Dancing on Ice?

• 9:11Speaker 04

  No.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  No.

• 9:12Speaker 05

  Would you do?

• 9:12Speaker 04

  Have turned that down to be honest.

• 9:14Speaker 05

  You have.

• 9:14Speaker 04

  If they're listening.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  In your face.

• 9:16Speaker 05

  Would you do Dancing on Land, AKA Strictly?

• 9:19Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 9:20Speaker 05

  They should change it.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  To Dancing on Land.

• 9:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, rebrand it, call it Dancing on Land.

• 9:24Speaker 05

  Dancing on Land, yeah.

• 9:25Speaker 04

  I liked watching it, wouldn't wanna do it, although one of the best evenings of my life was going to see Josh Whittaker do the Christmas one.

• 9:31Speaker 05

  Oh yeah?

• 9:32Speaker 04

  Absolutely brilliant.

• 9:33Speaker 05

  Why was that good?

• 9:34Speaker 04

  It's funny watching Josh do stuff like that, um, Josh won't mind me saying this, I think that when he does a big showbiz smile, it's really funny. And he had to do that quite a lot when he was dancing, do a big showbiz smile, you know.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  And he was dressed as a penguin, right?

• 9:49Speaker 04

  And he was dressed as a penguin.

• 9:50Speaker 05

  I, that, talk about burying the lead.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, sorry, should have mentioned that, dressed as a penguin, the opening of the show is him dressed as a penguin, peeking out from behind a giant candy cane and doing his showbiz smile and that was like,

• 10:02Speaker 03

  You're in heaven.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  Worth leaving the household.

• 10:04Speaker 05

  That's great.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  I really loved that and I really enjoyed booing Craig Revel-Horwood. I was like, whoa, going really, really hard.

• 10:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Everyone else around me was looking at me going like, you need to tone it down. It's not like.

• 10:15Speaker 05

  It's a family show, yeah.

• 10:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like it's a panto boo. It's not like you want him to go to prison.

• 10:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:19Speaker 04

  But I'd be nice these days.

• 10:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're doing him a favour.

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:23Speaker 05

  You go, I'm doing this for him. You don't understand.

• 10:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that was fun.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  I think I've done all the ones that I would like to do.

• 10:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I wouldn't do I'm a celeb. I wouldn't do anything like that.

• 10:32Speaker 05

  No, no, no.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 10:33Speaker 04

  No, I was thinking just this morning was like, I wonder how many celebrities who I'm a fan of and I love have been offered I'm a celeb and turned it down. And if I could make my dream, I'm a celeb lineup out of the people who've turned it down and how much I would love watching it.

• 10:48Speaker 05

  Well, this feels like a splinter podcast about to, I mean, that is the format of this, right? Is you, you make a dream menu.

• 10:55Speaker 04

  You do.

• 10:55Speaker 05

  You're doing a dream lineup for I'm a celebrity.

• 10:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:58Speaker 05

  That is.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Cause I, I've only ever watched one series of that show because my friend Joel Domit was on it and I loved watching Joel. But I never want to watch it again. But if they had like a really cool lineup of people that I'm a fan of.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  I think we need names of who you want.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  Paddy Considine.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  Wowee.

• 11:15Speaker 04

  Get him in the jungle.

• 11:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, get him in there.

• 11:17Speaker 04

  Loves to see Paddy Considine with Eric Cantona and.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  I reckon Cantona would do it, you know?

• 11:24Speaker 04

  You think Cantona would actually? I don't think he would say no. So I think that's a bad example.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  Paddy Considine.

• 11:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 04

  Roy Keane.

• 11:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:30Speaker 04

  Definitely has been offered it and turned it down.

• 11:32Speaker 05

  Do you think?

• 11:33Speaker 04

  I think there's no way they haven't offered it to Roy Keane and there's no way he would ever say yes to it.

• 11:38Speaker 05

  So far, I would say this is the angriest series of I'm a celebrity. Really angry white men. Kim Jong Un.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are, these are the posters on my wall, guys.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  I love all these people. That's why we've got Sean on the podcast.

• 11:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, cheers.

• 11:54Speaker 04

  I've requested it.

• 11:55Speaker 05

  Yeah. Thank you.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  I, I saw him throw a gig at an audience's face once. It was beautiful.

• 11:59Speaker 05

  Did you?

• 12:00Speaker 04

  No.

• 12:00Speaker 05

  That's not like me.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  I've, I've, I've not seen you do that.

• 12:03Speaker 05

  Oh, thank you. Not for a while. Used to do a bit of that, but I'm, I'm. But that's your energy anyway, right?

• 12:08Speaker 03

  Even when, even when you do well, I think Sean's trying to throw it in their face.

• 12:11Speaker 05

  I think I must have hearing loss because I always think I'm doing badly at gigs, but I don't, I don't think I am. I think actually I'm quite good.

• 12:19Speaker 04

  I I don't know what you're talking about.

• 12:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:21Speaker 04

  I've never experienced that.

• 12:22Speaker 05

  Um, yeah, I mean, a passionate guy. I used to find it a struggle. I used to find it a struggle on stage when I was like, oh, I don't think they're laughing enough. But actually, I've I'm a bit reformed now.

• 12:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:35Speaker 05

  Because I realise now, when I'm in an audience, I always think, well, I'm enjoying this, but I'm not showing it that much. And I think that's when you when you're on the other side of it, I don't want to be get called a twat by someone I've gone to see.

• 12:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:45Speaker 05

  You know, like, I go see Travis or whatever, and they're like, why are you booing?

• 12:50Speaker 04

  Get them in the jungle.

• 12:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, Travis.

• 12:52Speaker 04

  Are you watching Travis these days?

• 12:53Speaker 05

  No, not these days, but um.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  Oh, you're going to see Travis.

• 12:57Speaker 05

  Would you go get, would you put Travis in the jungle?

• 13:00Speaker 04

  Fran Healy?

• 13:00Speaker 05

  Yeah. Oh, no, the full band.

• 13:02Speaker 04

  Full band. Full band.

• 13:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  I I would say I'd only put the full band in and not one of them on their own, which is, let's face it, it's going to be Fran Healy. But like, I I would go for the whole band.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  It'd be a nightmare. Every time it rains, everyone would be looking at them.

• 13:14Speaker 05

  Everyone would be looking at them.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  Go and do it.

• 13:16Speaker 05

  Roy Keane giving them daggers.

• 13:17Speaker 04

  Roy Keane would fucking tear them to ribbons, night one.

• 13:20Speaker 05

  He really would.

• 13:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, forget it. But that would be great to put a full band in the jungle together.

• 13:25Speaker 05

  Hmm. I mean, you could see them implode. That would be good.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  They'd either implode or they would form a really tight unit against all the others and it would become a problem.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:33Speaker 05

  James, I'm in.

• 13:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:35Speaker 05

  Do you need an investment?

• 13:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure.

• 13:37Speaker 05

  Let's do it.

• 13:38Speaker 04

  I think they should let me book I'm a Celebrity, and the rule is people aren't allowed to say no.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  Hmm. So Paddy comes and then straight in.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, so if I contact you and invite you, you have to say yes, it's the law.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:49Speaker 05

  So so the government are involved in this.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  We make it like jury duty.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Like Hunger Games.

• 13:53Speaker 04

  It's like Hunger Games.

• 13:53Speaker 05

  It's like it's like Hunger Games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you'll pitch it.

• 13:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:57Speaker 05

  Just FYI, it's like Hunger Games.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  But you can volunteer as tribute, so if Travis don't want to do it, Keane could step up.

• 14:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean.

• 14:03Speaker 05

  There's only three members of Keane now.

• 14:04Speaker 04

  Keane would be climbing over each other to try and get in the jungle these days.

• 14:07Speaker 05

  There's four members of Travis, there's three members of Keane.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 14:10Speaker 05

  So someone would have, like, Katie Melia would have to, like, go in as well or something like that.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  That's good.

• 14:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 03

  Get Melia in.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, actually, I'd like to see Melia have a chat with.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  Well, she's the only woman so far in the lineup.

• 14:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's not diverse.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, I I never said it would be.

• 14:26Speaker 05

  I suppose if the country's got to the point where James Acaster could just decide who has to go into the jungle.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:31Speaker 05

  Diversity is probably no longer the top priority.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:34Speaker 05

  Something's gone very wrong. We're in a dictatorship here.

• 14:37Speaker 04

  The main issue is, the country has gone to shit.

• 14:39Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 14:40Speaker 04

  Uh, do you like food?

• 14:42Speaker 05

  Hmm, interesting question. Um, yeah, I do like food.

• 14:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:47Speaker 05

  I, um, I enjoy a lot of food. I would say that my food tastes are like perfectly in line with the British and their change of culinary taste over the last like 20 years. I think I'm a really good bellwether. I'm a sheep.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:04Speaker 05

  Sure, if that helps. Does that help, Ed?

• 15:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, but so you're, you think you're a bellwether? You think you're ahead of the curve or do you think you go with the curve?

• 15:11Speaker 05

  I think I am the curve.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  You are the curve.

• 15:12Speaker 05

  I think whatever the mean is, I'm the mean.

• 15:14Speaker 04

  So is everyone looking to you?

• 15:16Speaker 05

  No, no, no, no.

• 15:16Speaker 04

  For the trends?

• 15:17Speaker 05

  No, no, no, no, no. I suppose I'm a sheep.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:19Speaker 05

  Does that help you? I'm a sheep.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it's good to get these things ironed out, isn't it?

• 15:22Speaker 05

  Does that help you, Ed?

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, that helps me.

• 15:24Speaker 05

  I don't find you so fucking charming, Ed.

• 15:27Speaker 04

  You do, you do.

• 15:28Speaker 05

  I do, actually. You do have quite the smile.

• 15:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:30Speaker 05

  Yeah. Um, what I mean is, I was thinking about this on the way here. Well, like when I was a kid, I would say my childhood was very like normal British childhood fare, like the food.

• 15:41Speaker 04

  Talk us through it, talk us through it.

• 15:42Speaker 05

  Well, just like, you know, fish and chips, lot of oven chips, lot of like, you know, Sunday roast, you know, good, good food, but the standard stuff.

• 15:49Speaker 04

  Yeah. So if you, if, if someone went on, you know, Family Fortunes and had to name British foods, it probably the border just looked like your childhood.

• 15:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, that's the easiest way of putting it.

• 15:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 04

  Turkey dinosaurs?

• 16:05Speaker 05

  No, not turkey dinosaur, chicken Kiev's.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:07Speaker 05

  So maybe that was a, maybe that was unusual.

• 16:10Speaker 04

  No, no, chicken Kiev's.

• 16:12Speaker 05

  Lot of chicken nuggets. My mum would sometimes make like a curry.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:16Speaker 05

  From, with powder, I guess that's a bit advanced.

• 16:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:19Speaker 05

  Um, but it was mainly like standard British stuff and great stuff, you know, nice.

• 16:24Speaker 04

  Your mum's American.

• 16:25Speaker 05

  My mum is American, yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 04

  So was she not bringing any of that into the household?

• 16:29Speaker 05

  The, no, not really. She, she, yeah, she assimilated pretty quickly.

• 16:35Speaker 05

  But actually, as time has gone on, I mean, I'm sure you'd agree with this. Britain has become way more open in terms of cuisine.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 16:43Speaker 05

  And I think I've just gone with the average.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:45Speaker 05

  And now I eat a huge range of cuisines, but only like lower to mid level. I never eat like high end stuff. But I, you know, I eat a lot of different types of food and I enjoy it.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  What about Shaun when you're on tour?

• 17:00Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  Is that good?

• 17:01Speaker 04

  It's a good segue.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:02Speaker 04

  If that's what you're asking.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  To talk about your tour.

• 17:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm on tour. I asked when this episode was going out. The producer didn't know.

• 17:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 17:09Speaker 05

  But we all we know is it's the new year, so most of the tour is done.

• 17:15Speaker 05

  However, it isn't all done and I'm doing, I'm doing like my first tour in like three or four years. And I'm going across the country. I'm going across Europe and I think you should come and see me.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  What's the show?

• 17:27Speaker 05

  I think you two would like it.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would like it, definitely.

• 17:30Speaker 04

  I'd like it.

• 17:31Speaker 05

  And so you can come and see me in London. I'm doing the Leicester Square Theatre and a couple of times. Or you can come and see me in Prague. Is that something you'd be interested in doing?

• 17:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, sure. I've not been to Prague for ages.

• 17:42Speaker 05

  Have you not?

• 17:42Speaker 03

  No.

• 17:43Speaker 04

  Be nice jolly for the podcast.

• 17:44Speaker 05

  That would be lovely. Yeah.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, right. Put it on the company card. Let's all go to Prague.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Benito, put it on the company card.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  Put it on the company card.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  We're going to Prague to see Shaun.

• 17:52Speaker 05

  It's only two euros a pint. Milan, Copenhagen, Stockholm. You know the deal.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:59Speaker 05

  And the show is called White Elephant and I'm really enjoying it. I'm really enjoying stand up and I'm enjoying touring and I'm playing a bigger houses than I've played to ever. And that's a nice feeling, right?

• 18:11Speaker 04

  That's a lovely feeling. That's the, that's the direction you want it to go in.

• 18:14Speaker 05

  It's the direct, it's taken a long time to get on the right track, James, but I've made it.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  My earliest memory of Shaun is when we first met. Do you remember where we first met?

• 18:23Speaker 05

  We met at a gig in Manchester.

• 18:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 18:26Speaker 05

  And it opened at the legendary Comedy Balloon.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  The Comedy Balloon.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Oh, the Comedy Balloon.

• 18:29Speaker 05

  Do you remember the Comedy Balloon?

• 18:30Speaker 03

  I do remember the Comedy Balloon.

• 18:32Speaker 05

  Hell hath no fury. Like the comedy balloon.

• 18:36Speaker 04

  Yeah. My memory of it is that it was like an upstairs room where most of it was, it was like, the audience had to sit in single file.

• 18:44Speaker 05

  It was so thin, that room.

• 18:46Speaker 04

  Cause they were just sitting at these tables, but that was it. That was all it was.

• 18:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  It's like a row of audience members in like a conga line.

• 18:51Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 18:51Speaker 04

  And um, realising that half of those audience members were actually other comedians.

• 18:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:56Speaker 04

  Who were all waiting to go on.

• 18:57Speaker 05

  The Ape and Apple?

• 18:58Speaker 04

  Maybe we were at the Ape and Apple.

• 18:59Speaker 05

  I mean, that was like a legendary open, it was always sold as a legendary open mic night.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:04Speaker 05

  And I remember it's like all those open mic nights that are legendary, you go there. And the only reason they're legendary, a lot of the time, is because basically the people who run it haven't given it up yet.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. It's been going for like forever.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  And to be fair to them, it's a invaluable service to open mic comedians. We need those gigs.

• 19:21Speaker 05

  I mean, yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  My God, it doesn't make it any easier when you're sitting there going, oh Jesus, this is me next. On the chopping block.

• 19:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:28Speaker 04

  And then meeting this uh, meeting this young lad who was living in Newcastle at the time.

• 19:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:32Speaker 04

  I believe.

• 19:33Speaker 05

  Good memory.

• 19:33Speaker 04

  And you were like, I've come here from Newcastle. And I was like, I've come here from Kettering. You went, where's that? This is in Northamptonshire. Oh, everyone else here lives in Manchester, I think. Yeah, yeah. Just me and you. We've had to travel there.

• 19:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. Did you know it was this venue? When you said yes. No, I didn't know. I'm staying on the promoter's sofa. Okay, well, I'm going back to Newcastle. Okay. I'm, I'm gonna go up now. Okay. Well, I'm probably gonna quit next week. Yeah, me too.

• 19:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:59Speaker 04

  See you in 17 years on a podcast.

• 20:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. But we made it.

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 05

  We made it.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  And we met in Newcastle, uh, heat of the Chorlton Student Comedian of the Year competition.

• 20:08Speaker 05

  Another great event.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:10Speaker 05

  In the history of British comedy.

• 20:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 20:12Speaker 05

  Back when you were not Ed Gamble, you had a character.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Romantic novelist Selsdon Crupp. I loved Selsdon Crupp.

• 20:18Speaker 05

  I was always a fan of Selsdon.

• 20:20Speaker 04

  Yes. Yeah. It's good stuff.

• 20:21Speaker 05

  I, that night, I met you, I met Nish Kumar.

• 20:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:24Speaker 05

  I met Tom Neenan.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 20:26Speaker 05

  Every act was from, every act who was good was from Durham and came on the same train as you.

• 20:32Speaker 04

  I seem to remember it was a good night all round.

• 20:34Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 20:35Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 20:35Speaker 05

  Chris Martin. Chris Martin was on.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. Um. Not from Coldplay? No, not from Coldplay. For the, for the listener, cause I know we're talking about Kane and stuff before.

• 20:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:44Speaker 04

  It's not, not from that.

• 20:46Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I suppose the antenna are up for the sort of indie fans already.

• 20:51Speaker 04

  People are like, fucking hell. Chris Martin from Coldplay, was it the Chortle Student of the Year?

• 20:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, he used to do stand up. All of his stand up then just got changed into song ideas.

• 21:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:01Speaker 03

  He had a really surreal bit about how everything was yellow. Very Noel Fielding.

• 21:05Speaker 04

  Very Noel Fielding.

• 21:07Speaker 05

  He'd been watching The Simpsons.

• 21:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:10Speaker 05

  He loved The Simpsons, didn't he, that boy?

• 21:11Speaker 04

  He loved it.

• 21:13Speaker 05

  And we're all, the key thing is we're all doing as well as each other.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  I won the heat.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  Did you?

• 21:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:18Speaker 05

  I retract that last statement then.

• 21:20Speaker 04

  Now, you have refused to tell us the name of your web series until we are recording the podcast. So now you get to reveal the name of the web series to us.

• 21:29Speaker 05

  It's not that I'm a sh- I think it's a great title, but everyone I've, everyone I've said it to has said that's the worst title for anything they've ever heard.

• 21:35Speaker 03

  Fantastic, let's hear it.

• 21:36Speaker 05

  But basically, if you're listening to this by now, then my web, my web series slash podcast is already out.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:41Speaker 05

  I always wanted to host like a, like an American style kind of late night chat show, you know, with like a backdrop and a side, you know, like a Conan or a Letterman type thing.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:51Speaker 05

  And no one's, no one's given me one of those and no one's making them even anymore. So I've ba- I've ba- I've made one in my living room.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  Great.

• 21:57Speaker 05

  And I've got like a backdrop that I ordered from Poland of a city and I've got a sidekick and I wear a suit and I have guests.

• 22:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:04Speaker 05

  Um, and it's every week and it's called The Sean McTalk Show.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know, I love it, obviously. It'd be more up head street.

• 22:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, it is bad, obviously. Well, I don't think it is that obvious. Is it?

• 22:18Speaker 04

  You know it's bad.

• 22:19Speaker 05

  The Sean McTalk Show, yeah.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  It's funny because it's bad. Yeah.

• 22:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, I guess so, yeah. I mean, I guess that's kind of a review.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  It's brilliant, I love it.

• 22:26Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 22:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, it feels intentionally bad. It doesn't feel like that's an accident and you, and you don't understand your own sense of humour.

• 22:33Speaker 05

  Hmm, okay.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  Sean McTalk Show is like.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  Make me laugh a second time, yeah.

• 22:38Speaker 05

  I mean, I like it, I like it, but during yesterday's recording, I hadn't told the guest what the name of the show was and I said, here on the Sean McTalk Show, about 10 minutes into the interview. And the guest said, this is the shittest thing I've ever heard in my life. Do you know?

• 22:50Speaker 03

  Who was the guest?

• 22:50Speaker 05

  It was Johnny Pellet, admittedly.

• 22:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:52Speaker 05

  Um, but you don't tend to hear that on, um, like actual, like I don't think people would ever do that. Like Graham Norton, go, what's your name? What?

• 23:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure. But I mean, that is his name. Your name isn't Sean McTalk Show.

• 23:04Speaker 05

  Well, not yet, but if it goes well enough, you know. But I'm working, I'm working very hard on it. So.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Conan No Talk Show, do you remember that?

• 23:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, I remember Conan No Talk Show.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:15Speaker 05

  David McGlatterman. That doesn't quite work.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  Well, Johnny Palance has been on this podcast and everyone loved his episode.

• 23:22Speaker 05

  He's the worst guest I've had on the Sean McTalk Show. Can I say that? Most disrespectful man I've ever met in my life.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  Who else are you having on the Sean McTalk Show? Is it just your grubby little mates?

• 23:31Speaker 04

  It's crazy that you've got people on who you just talk to anyway.

• 23:34Speaker 05

  Okay. Well, why don't we dial this tone back, gents? Because you know, people probably used to say that about this podcast, didn't they?

• 23:41Speaker 03

  No.

• 23:42Speaker 05

  Okay. I really hope that would work.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  We hit the ground running. We had Grace Dent, episode two, mate.

• 23:47Speaker 05

  I've got, um, Reece James. You heard of Reece James?

• 23:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 05

  You heard of Fern Brady?

• 23:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, all your mates.

• 23:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course we've heard of him.

• 23:53Speaker 05

  Drake and she'll do it. Drake and she'll do mine.

• 23:58Speaker 05

  No, she's doing it. Jamal is doing it. Harriet's done it.

• 24:02Speaker 04

  You shouldn't be on first name terms with all of them. You shouldn't be veering it off just on a first name basis. Go Jamal.

• 24:07Speaker 05

  Well, I sent a message to a novelist and he hasn't even, he's left me on red. So I don't know what to do about that. And it's a bit like I sent a message to Peter Schmeichel once and he left me on red. It's like I.

• 24:18Speaker 04

  Schmeichel?

• 24:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, Schmeichel's left me. Another Manchester United Ferguson reference.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, I might put him in the jungle.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  Goalie gloves don't have like touchscreen capabilities.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, he can't. That's right. All he can do is, goalkeeper's is a nightmare. They're just leaving everyone on red.

• 24:31Speaker 05

  You may not know much about football, Ed, but surely you understand that the gloves are removable.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  No, not Schmeichel's. He's always training.

• 24:38Speaker 05

  Look, if you want to hear me talk to my grubby little friends in my living room, the Sean McTalk Show, and they're laughing now, but you know, by the time this has gone out, I have wiped them off the face of the earth. I have the biggest show in Britain.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. Patreon, do you have a Patreon?

• 24:53Speaker 05

  Uh, sure. Why not? I mean, it's not launched yet, so I don't know if it's popular enough. But I'm filming it all myself. I'm editing it myself. It's ruining my life. Uh, it'd be great if you watched it or listened to it.

• 25:03Speaker 03

  In your living room?

• 25:03Speaker 05

  It's all in my living room, yeah.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  What does your wife think of all this?

• 25:06Speaker 05

  She came home, um, one day and I'm keeping all the stuff, uh, where, in the cupboard where the boiler is.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 05

  And she opened the cupboard because she had to get to the boiler. She couldn't get to it because there was a backdrop of a city from Poland. And she said, is this going to be our life now? And I said, probably.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 05

  I may have made a massive error doing this show.

• 25:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:30Speaker 05

  Now I'm saying it out loud.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  The Shaun McTalk Show.

• 25:32Speaker 05

  The Shaun McTalk Show may be another folly.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  If your wife can't get to the boiler, that's an issue. I, I, I don't, I don't think there's like many talk show hosts where saying yes to the talk show meant their wife couldn't get to the boiler anymore.

• 25:47Speaker 05

  You've really, um, yeah, you give me a lot to think about there, James.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  This episode is going exactly how I thought it would.

• 25:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:54Speaker 05

  Great to be here. Um, you'll do the show, right?

• 25:57Speaker 03

  You two, you two. I'll come and do the Shaun McTalk Show.

• 25:59Speaker 05

  You do it together if you want.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  No.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  No, no, no, separate.

• 26:02Speaker 05

  Because I actually, I only got one extra mic.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:10Speaker 04

  Still a sparkling water, Shaun?

• 26:12Speaker 05

  Still, please, James.

• 26:13Speaker 04

  You looked surprised by that question.

• 26:15Speaker 05

  Well, I was having a nice chat. I forgot we even had the format.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, we've got to do the format.

• 26:18Speaker 05

  Of course you do.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Do you have a format to the Shaun McTalk Show?

• 26:20Speaker 05

  Oh, let's not go there, Ed. Um, I do have a format, yeah.

• 26:25Speaker 04

  Great.

• 26:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  What's the format?

• 26:27Speaker 05

  I just ask some questions.

• 26:28Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 26:29Speaker 05

  It's a talk show, isn't it?

• 26:29Speaker 04

  Is that a format?

• 26:30Speaker 05

  Well, it's not, not a format, is it?

• 26:32Speaker 03

  Do you have any format points? Are there things that you do like?

• 26:34Speaker 05

  Sometimes my family send in questions.

• 26:36Speaker 04

  Oh, that's good.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's good.

• 26:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  Is it mainly from your wife saying, move the fucking stuff out of the way of the boiler?

• 26:41Speaker 05

  It's not. It's, it's one of those shows. Look, still, the key thing is still water, please.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it obvious which like questions your mum has sent in? Let's start with like stuff like, howdy.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  Howdy, y'all?

• 26:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Howdy, y'all?

• 26:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:58Speaker 05

  Yeah. My mum's like a Kelly Clarkson.

• 27:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  She's got a talk show?

• 27:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, she does, actually. It's called The Kelly Clarkson.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:05Speaker 05

  Yeah. The Kelly McClarkson Show.

• 27:08Speaker 04

  No, she doesn't. Why would she put a muck in? That's your name.

• 27:11Speaker 05

  Genuinely don't know what you're talking about.

• 27:13Speaker 04

  Um, why still water?

• 27:15Speaker 05

  I'm, I'm not, I like a sparkling water or like a soda water, but, uh, I can't drink it anymore because my wife's got one of those machines that makes, uh, the water fizzy.

• 27:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 27:25Speaker 05

  And, uh, she now only drinks that. She can't, she does not drink still water ever. And it's, it's become such a difficult thing for me in my life because I think it just makes everything complicated. And so I get a bit of a like, uh, A negative reaction whenever I hear the, the sort of bubbles go up.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:42Speaker 03

  Cause your wife's addicted to sparkling water essentially.

• 27:44Speaker 05

  I mean, it's, I don't know if she's addicted, but like, it's just awkward. Like if we're watching something, watching a film, watching TV and she goes, I'll just get a glass of water.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:53Speaker 05

  That should be 10 seconds.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  She doesn't even need to say it really.

• 27:56Speaker 05

  It should be, she should be like, don't pause it.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 04

  Is that why she was trying to get to the boiler? To try and make it spark?

• 28:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. She wants the bath water sparkling. Yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  I want, I want. How can I get, how can I make the boiler water sparkling if you put a flag in the way?

• 28:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:12Speaker 03

  I don't know, and we might have talked about this before, whether I'd like to bathe in sparkling water or not.

• 28:18Speaker 05

  You wouldn't.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  Wouldn't I?

• 28:19Speaker 05

  Why would you?

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Because of all the bubbles around my intimate areas.

• 28:23Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 28:24Speaker 04

  Could feel nice.

• 28:25Speaker 05

  Bath bomb?

• 28:26Speaker 03

  Bath bomb would do it, but then you'd, cause really you're supposed to throw the bath bomb in and let it dissolve and then you get in, right? So you'd have to get in, get the bath bomb and immediately hold it to all of your erogenous.

• 28:36Speaker 05

  Here's what you need, Ed. In my opinion, this is what you need. And look, all I am is a humble, the humble proprietor of a humble talk show. Okay? And a humble comedian putting on a humble tour.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:47Speaker 05

  In Prague. Well, here's what I'd say to test the water, literally. Get in the bath, drop in a Barocca.

• 28:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:54Speaker 04

  Mmm.

• 28:55Speaker 05

  Around your intimate area. It will be a bit orangey.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:00Speaker 05

  But then at least you can get a sense of, do I like where this is going? And if you do like where that's going, then you follow it all the way to its logical conclusion.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Pop the Barocca up the arse.

• 29:08Speaker 05

  Which is, yeah, putting a fucked out of Barocca in there.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  I mean, are you doing that?

• 29:12Speaker 05

  A healthy old bath.

• 29:12Speaker 04

  Would you do that before you got, would you load your anus up with like Barocca's?

• 29:19Speaker 05

  I didn't say anus, I want to make that clear. Ed said anus.

• 29:22Speaker 04

  But would you do that? Like, would you maybe before you get in the bath, load yourself up with Barocca's up the butt?

• 29:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:28Speaker 04

  Clench your cheeks.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:30Speaker 04

  Get in the bath, don't unclench until you're ready.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  And then let the water in.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:35Speaker 04

  I mean, would the water go up here or would the Barocca's fall out? And then the fizzing starts. When does the fizzing start there?

• 29:41Speaker 03

  I think fizzing starts immediately.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  Immediately.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  I don't think they're falling out really.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  I just don't know if, when I go in the bath, the water goes up my butt. I don't think it does.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  No, that's true. You'd have to spread and swish, I guess.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:52Speaker 05

  Spread and swish.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, it's spreading this and releasing like, like fishes with their eggs.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, you would be like a fish with their eggs, Ed, if you did this. You should, you should always keep that in mind.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  I guess you're still getting the bubbles around them.

• 30:04Speaker 05

  I suppose the problem with this is, it's not an issue per se, but I go into a bath mainly to relax. I think it's a relaxing thing. I don't know how relaxed I'd be if I had to clench my butt cheeks to the extent that Barocca couldn't, couldn't leave them.

• 30:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:17Speaker 05

  That would be like, in terms of my relaxation, that would make the bath a sort of lateral move.

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  But, because when I have a Barocca, I feel so energised, right? I love a Barocca.

• 30:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  It makes me feel amazing.

• 30:27Speaker 05

  Good.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  But imagine how energised you'd feel if one was up your butt.

• 30:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Because that's what people do with drugs, isn't it, sometimes?

• 30:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, it is.

• 30:34Speaker 04

  That's to smuggle them, isn't it? Or do they put them up there and enjoy them?

• 30:37Speaker 05

  It's a quicker, I think it gets, gets into your system quicker. I don't know if the same would be, if it would be with a Barocca.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  Surely, surely it would. It's the way to your system.

• 30:48Speaker 05

  I'm willing, I'm willing to commit to this as a, as a theory.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  Stevie Nicks had someone blow cocaine up her butt because I think, I think she maybe had like a deviated septum or something, or like a problem with the.

• 31:00Speaker 05

  Oh, is that right?

• 31:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. So she couldn't get it in through the nose, so she had an assistant to blow, blow it up her butthole.

• 31:05Speaker 05

  I'd never heard that.

• 31:06Speaker 04

  With a golden straw, is what I heard. I think that makes it easier for the person who's got to blow it.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  Just feels fancy.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  Through the straw. I think I would rather if it was me having to do that, even if it is Stevie Nicks, a big celebrity, I would still rather the straw was golden, make me feel like what I'm doing is less sad than if it's just the stripey straw from McDonald's or something.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  And Sue Perkins once had a shame and blow raspberry vodka up her bum.

• 31:32Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 31:33Speaker 05

  They are all valid points.

• 31:34Speaker 04

  We broke that news story on this podcast, it became national news.

• 31:38Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 31:38Speaker 04

  So something you, you say could become national news on this pod. Remember that. Benito has now asked us to say that the Stevie Nicks thing is rumored to be alleged.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  It's an urban myth.

• 31:48Speaker 04

  It's an urban myth.

• 31:49Speaker 05

  It's an urban myth.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  Is what he would like us to say. He also earlier on wanted me to say that the band keen would be clamping over each other to get in the jungle because they're quite keen. He mimed it at me. He mouthed it at me to try and get me to say it and I ignored him. But now that we're giving him this platform to say about the allegedly stuff, I should probably say, he also wanted to make a keen pun earlier. Okay, well now he's saying that he didn't want me to, to say it. He just wanted to make the joke to me, which I don't know why he would inflict that on me.

• 32:18Speaker 05

  This is exactly what the Sean McTalk show feels like.

• 32:21Speaker 04

  Me talking to Benito.

• 32:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  So you've ripped us off?

• 32:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, big time. Let's, let's circle back here.

• 32:28Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 32:28Speaker 05

  To the, to the, to the sparkling water bath.

• 32:30Speaker 03

  Yes, please.

• 32:31Speaker 05

  That must be an option in some hotel. There must be a, a universe where this isn't crazy.

• 32:36Speaker 04

  In Dubai or something.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it'd be in a really fancy hotel in some like six star hotel, you can get a sparkling water bath.

• 32:42Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  I'm sure actually in most hotels, you could probably request it if you pay for it, they'd probably do it.

• 32:48Speaker 05

  Most hotels.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Most hotels.

• 32:50Speaker 05

  I think over a certain price threshold, I don't think a travel lodge are doing that.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  I think they will if you say, can you buy however many litres of sparkling water and fill up my bath for me?

• 33:01Speaker 05

  They don't even give you wifi.

• 33:03Speaker 04

  You have to barter with them.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  But I'm sure there's a.

• 33:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  A price that they would go, okay, we'll do that.

• 33:08Speaker 05

  That's an episode of The Apprentice I would love to see.

• 33:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:11Speaker 05

  Yeah. Which one of you could get the most out of a travel lodge?

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 05

  Like receptionist, bath wise?

• 33:16Speaker 04

  There's probably some listeners thinking like, aren't you just describing a jacuzzi? But we're not.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  We're not.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  It's different.

• 33:23Speaker 04

  Cause it's small bubbles.

• 33:23Speaker 03

  The bubbles aren't propelled by jets.

• 33:25Speaker 05

  Ah.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  They're propelled by science.

• 33:28Speaker 04

  Pop it up, it's all bread. Pop it up, it's all bread. Pop it up, it's all bread.

• 33:31Speaker 05

  We'll have a, I'll have some bread, please.

• 33:34Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 33:34Speaker 05

  No disrespect to the pop it up.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  No.

• 33:36Speaker 05

  Um, but I love a nice bread. I actually try and stay clear of bread a lot. It's one of those things I try not to have that much of.

• 33:43Speaker 04

  Why?

• 33:44Speaker 05

  Um, it just clogs me up a bit. And also it's one of those things, I'll just keep eating it.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:48Speaker 05

  So I'd rather be a bit, I'd rather keep my distance.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  It's a shame about bread really, isn't it? Cause bread, bread was all the rage when we were younger.

• 33:57Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  People, no one was worried about bread.

• 33:59Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  And then at some point, bread got cancelled.

• 34:02Speaker 05

  I used to eat like hot dog buns.

• 34:06Speaker 05

  Just as a snack.

• 34:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:07Speaker 05

  Was that, did, did anyone else eat those?

• 34:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 34:09Speaker 04

  I mean, when, when it had a hot dog in it, sure.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:11Speaker 05

  No, no, I used to get like, like a, what do they call it? Like the finger rolls. Is that what they're called?

• 34:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:16Speaker 05

  I just had four of them. After school, I just had four of them. I would just knock them back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  Just straight down.

• 34:21Speaker 05

  I could, if I have kids, they'll, they'll never do that.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  No.

• 34:24Speaker 05

  It's sad.

• 34:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, make that a rule in the house. No hot dog buns.

• 34:27Speaker 05

  Not a harsh, vast rule, but like I'd have to, I'd keep an eye on it, you know, James?

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Would you not maybe one day, when they're old enough, say, here's what your dad used to do?

• 34:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:36Speaker 03

  And get all the hot dog buns out?

• 34:37Speaker 05

  Well, I'd like to think that if I said to my kids, here's what your dad used to do, it would be something a bit more substantial than just eating four hot dog buns.

• 34:44Speaker 04

  You hope so.

• 34:45Speaker 05

  Maybe I'd show them like footage of me.

• 34:47Speaker 03

  The Sean McTalk show, are you?

• 34:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:49Speaker 05

  That's what your dad used to do. And that's why you're talking to me, through Plexiglas.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:56Speaker 05

  I do like bread, though. I do like a bread.

• 34:58Speaker 04

  Do you want the four hot dog buns as your, for your dream menu?

• 35:02Speaker 05

  No, I, do you know what I'm really enjoying? I would like a sort of a Middle Eastern flatbread.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 35:07Speaker 05

  Like a Lebanese or like a, the Turkish ones, they have like little bu- bubbles on them, right?

• 35:13Speaker 04

  Hmm, little bubbles?

• 35:14Speaker 05

  I'm, just to let you know, I'm not gonna.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Would you take a bath in bubbly Turkish bread?

• 35:17Speaker 04

  There you go. You set yourself up for that. You can't, you can't be angry at Ed, but.

• 35:21Speaker 05

  I'm not angry. I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at myself for giving you the open goal.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:26Speaker 05

  No, I probably wouldn't have a bath of bread.

• 35:28Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 35:28Speaker 05

  As, I wouldn't have a bath of bread.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  Fair enough.

• 35:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 35:32Speaker 05

  Um, I'll let you know if I say anything that I will have a bath of.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Hmm, but now I want to ask every time.

• 35:40Speaker 05

  Your podcast, your rules.

• 35:41Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 35:42Speaker 05

  But I'm not gonna, uh, I don't, I don't know a lot of the technical phrases of bread. But you know what I mean? Like, uh, cause the Lebanese, like some of the flatbreads, like the Middle Eastern flatbreads are very flat.

• 35:51Speaker 04

  Hmm, yeah.

• 35:51Speaker 05

  But some of them are a little bit thicker and they have like little.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Bubbles on them.

• 35:55Speaker 05

  Kind of like how, you know, pizza in a pizza oven has those big.

• 35:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:59Speaker 05

  Airy pockets of.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 05

  Like that. I'll have a little bit of that.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  You don't mean like a pit, like a pitter?

• 36:05Speaker 05

  No, not like a pitter.

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Fresh pitter, no?

• 36:06Speaker 05

  Well, maybe it's a type of pitter, I don't know. I think it's called a bear, uh, it's got, it starts with a B, the, the one I'm thinking of.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  Look it up, Benito.

• 36:12Speaker 05

  But if I could, would I be able to have some hummus as well?

• 36:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  Have some hummus, dip it in.

• 36:18Speaker 05

  I think that's, uh, we're off to the races with this meal.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:21Speaker 05

  Whatever this bread is.

• 36:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:23Speaker 05

  And hummus.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  Just hummus or do you want a range of mezze?

• 36:27Speaker 05

  The thing is, I always think I want a range of mezze, but I'm always like, I, I, you know, call me a traditional, call me normal, but I just think hummus is the best one.

• 36:38Speaker 04

  Have you seen the film Weapons?

• 36:39Speaker 05

  No, is this the new one?

• 36:41Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:42Speaker 05

  I was gonna go, yeah.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  There's a scene in it that you would love because there's an aerial shot of, this isn't a spoiler for the film. There's an aerial shot of a meal that two of the characters are having together. And it's some carrot batons, a massive thing of what looks like hummus. And then four hot dogs in hot dog buns.

• 37:00Speaker 05

  What?

• 37:00Speaker 04

  And that's what they're eating while watching TV together.

• 37:03Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  And it is just exactly what you've been describing.

• 37:06Speaker 05

  Oh my gosh.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  Apart from there's no flatbread.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  And they're so excited to have those hot dogs.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  They're really excited to have them.

• 37:11Speaker 05

  This sounds really exciting.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  So it's like.

• 37:13Speaker 05

  What are they watching on TV, you had to say?

• 37:15Speaker 03

  This is why this guy's a pro professional food podcaster. Because no one else noticed that in the film.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  It's a mad meal, really.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  Mad shit happens in that film. It's crazy and it's scary.

• 37:25Speaker 05

  That's fusion cooking though, right?

• 37:26Speaker 03

  You're coming out of it going carrot batons, hummus and four hot dogs.

• 37:29Speaker 04

  I thought, I just thought it was wild. When you, when you see the overhead shot of that meal, you're like, no one eats that. That's not a meal for anyone where you have that many hot dogs. There's two people and they've got four hot dogs between them. But they've also put on some carrot batons and some hummus.

• 37:44Speaker 03

  I think it's two hot dogs minimum if you're having hot dog night.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I, I, I would say great, but don't like add in the dips and stuff. But then that's, it's what Benedict One goes for immediately.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Is the dip, he dips the baton in the hummus. He has a lovely bite of it. They're watching a nature documentary at the time.

• 38:00Speaker 05

  Mm hmm.

• 38:01Speaker 04

  Uh, about parasites.

• 38:02Speaker 05

  Well, this sounds like a great night.

• 38:04Speaker 04

  Well, it's not. It doesn't end good that night.

• 38:05Speaker 05

  No?

• 38:06Speaker 04

  No, it's not. It's not a great night.

• 38:08Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 38:09Speaker 03

  It's almost immediately a terrible night.

• 38:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's really bad. It happens in the day, actually. It's in the afternoon.

• 38:15Speaker 05

  How far into the film is this scene?

• 38:17Speaker 04

  Uh, probably about halfway through, really.

• 38:19Speaker 03

  I would suggest watching it from the beginning of the film.

• 38:21Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:22Speaker 04

  But I would say what happens to them, I mean, is the worst thing that happens to someone in their living rooms since your talk show.

• 38:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

• 38:35Speaker 04

  Baz Lama?

• 38:36Speaker 05

  Baz Lama.

• 38:37Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 38:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:39Speaker 04

  Directed The Great Gatsby.

• 38:48Speaker 03

  That's perfect. If you had kids, that would be the joke. They'd be like, oh, shut the fuck up.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, shut up, dad. If I had kids, that's all I'd ever hear.

• 38:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, shut up.

• 38:56Speaker 04

  Shut up, dad. Disrespectfully.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Like, yeah, it would be awful.

• 39:01Speaker 03

  Here's what your dad used to do.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Exactly the same thing.

• 39:04Speaker 04

  None of us care. None of us care. Dad, shut up.

• 39:07Speaker 03

  Could we please talk about the consistency of various hummus's? What must I say?

• 39:11Speaker 05

  We can.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  Um, so obviously the fun in the first time I had hummus was probably supermarket hummus.

• 39:16Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Which is thicker and maybe slightly chalkier than when you go and have hummus in like a Mediterranean restaurant.

• 39:24Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Where it's smooth, there's a lot more oil in it, which is an exciting proposition.

• 39:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  But sometimes I prefer a supermarket just because it reminds me of when I was young.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Speak on that, Sean.

• 39:37Speaker 05

  Well, first of all, can I say I genuinely touched that you'd open your heart up like that to me?

• 39:43Speaker 03

  Happy to.

• 39:45Speaker 05

  I don't.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  And I'm happy to open my heart up once again on the Sean Book Talk Show.

• 39:48Speaker 05

  This is perfect.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:51Speaker 05

  I agree with you.

• 39:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:52Speaker 05

  I think supermarket hummus is like mainstream mass-produced hummus is there's a tang to it.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 39:57Speaker 05

  That I, I, I've never got that in like a restaurant hummus. And I don't know whether the tang, I mean, probably someone who knows more about it would say that tang is a sign that it's bad.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:07Speaker 05

  But I quite like, am I, am I explaining this correctly?

• 40:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:12Speaker 05

  There's something there.

• 40:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:14Speaker 05

  And um, there's a, there's a, there's a couple of um, Mediterranean like uh, uh, food places near me as in like supermarkets.

• 40:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:23Speaker 05

  Like big international food centres and stuff. And they'll sell like gallons of this hummus.

• 40:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:29Speaker 05

  For nothing. And me and my wife on a Sunday, sometimes we'll go there, we'll pick up some of this bread, whose name I've forgotten.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  That's Lema.

• 40:37Speaker 05

  And that's our day.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:39Speaker 05

  And what a beautiful marriage we have.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:42Speaker 05

  This is what I promised her on our, on our wedding day and I've delivered.

• 40:45Speaker 04

  A bucket of hummus.

• 40:46Speaker 05

  Yeah. Bucket of hummus and some bread.

• 40:48Speaker 03

  Your house just absolutely full of shit.

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  Just like a backdrop, a backdrop of the city you bought from Poland, loads of equipment to film the Sean McTalk show and buckets of hummus everywhere.

• 40:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. If MI5 ever raided our house, they'd be like, what is this?

• 41:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  Some sort of

• 41:02Speaker 05

  What is going on?

• 41:03Speaker 03

  Horrible, illegal, like porn video hummus, uh, like fetish thing.

• 41:08Speaker 05

  I mean, it does look like a, I mean, yeah, it does look shady, I suppose. There's lots of just food locking around, loads of hummus.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:14Speaker 05

  Like cityscapes. They go, what are they planning here? Yeah.

• 41:17Speaker 04

  Cityscapes?

• 41:18Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, the backdrop.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, sorry.

• 41:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:20Speaker 03

  So what, do you want supermarket hummus? Do you want the, the hummus from the supermarket that you and your wife go to on a Sunday?

• 41:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, or any of the, any of the mainstream supermarket hummus's will do me. I mean, they're all pretty good.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  I tell you, when I'm, when I'm feeling really, really hummused up, I'll get the hummus with the hot lamb on the top where you get the bits, you get bits of lamb on top of the hummus.

• 41:40Speaker 05

  Lamb?

• 41:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, baby.

• 41:41Speaker 05

  Well, um, I, I won't get that.

• 41:44Speaker 03

  No.

• 41:44Speaker 05

  But I'm very happy that you're getting that.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 41:46Speaker 05

  This will be a vegetarian, uh, uh, meal.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  Lovely.

• 41:50Speaker 05

  So, um, yeah, so the lamb, I'll skip, but you, you eat the lamb and I'll, and I'll have the rest.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  And no taramasalata for you either, because that's, that's not vegetarian, of course.

• 41:59Speaker 04

  So you can't have that?

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:01Speaker 04

  Before you ask?

• 42:02Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  I had so much taramasalata. I've just been to Mykonos, the Greek island.

• 42:07Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Taramasalata every day, feta every day. And let me tell you, every time I get taramasalata in Greece, I'm weirded out because it ain't pink. It's white. They put the pink in.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:19Speaker 04

  That is weird.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:20Speaker 04

  Um.

• 42:21Speaker 05

  That's a clip.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  Anytime you think something's a clip, can you say?

• 42:26Speaker 03

  Tell us it's a clip.

• 42:27Speaker 05

  Thanks.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:27Speaker 04

  Cause we, we are quite new to the whole YouTube thing.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:31Speaker 05

  And saying they put the pink in, that's the clip.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Just that.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  That's the clip. That's great.

• 42:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  And that can be like the title of the videos, they put the pink in.

• 42:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, it would have to be.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  Today's episode of the Off Menu Podcast is sponsored by Cozy, the home of possibilities, James.

• 42:49Speaker 04

  Ah, man, Ed, Cozy has everything you need to make your home feel like it has a plan. Do you know what I mean?

• 42:54Speaker 03

  I know what you mean. Cozy is a wonderful furniture company. It makes furnishing your whole home easy. Sofers, dining, storage, rugs, bedroom, even outdoor, all designed to make your space feel put together without the usual furniture stress. And James, we talk about dream meals on this podcast. But you know what? We very rarely talk about where we want to eat this dream meal.

• 43:14Speaker 04

  Sure, yeah, I like it when it does come up. It is very important. It changes the whole meal, the setting, the vibe. And Cozy's modular, customizable furniture for the whole home does just that.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  And the meal, James, doesn't necessarily end at dessert. We've often talked about wanting to take our maybe final course through to a comfy room. And I think this is where Cozy can really come in handy. Go and relax on the sofa, maybe even eat your meal at a lovely, beautiful, cozy table, linger a little bit, move through with coffees and dessert to a lovely couch. But I know what you're like, James, you're a mucky pup.

• 43:46Speaker 04

  I'm gonna spill stuff everywhere. Is that gonna ruin the Cozy furniture?

• 43:49Speaker 03

  No, don't worry about that, James, because it's highly washable, James. It's sauce, wine, sparkling water, dessert crumbs. You telling one of your big stories and sloshing a coffee everywhere? Don't worry, you can pop it in the wash.

• 44:01Speaker 04

  Oh, so you're saying Cozy makes every day at home feel like my best day?

• 44:05Speaker 03

  Absolutely, that's exactly what I'm saying. And with Cozy, your home can grow with you, adapting to new spaces, new styles, and every era of your life, James. I think it's so hard, especially when you move somewhere new, to immediately make that place feel like yours, that it's been put together well. And that's where Cozy comes in.

• 44:21Speaker 04

  And because it's Cozy, the furniture isn't just good looking, but actually practical. Modular pieces, easy assembly, washable and interchangeable covers, and free design consultations if you want help making the whole room work.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  And it's easy to order, ship and assemble and maintain, James. The only way is the Cozy way.

• 44:39Speaker 04

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• 46:49Speaker 04

  Your dream starter?

• 46:50Speaker 05

  My dream starter is a lovely, humble omelette.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Okay, we've talked about omelettes in the past.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  Have you?

• 46:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, I forgot, I forgot that Shaun, Shaun is a omelette head.

• 47:03Speaker 05

  I didn't want, I didn't want to mention it because I knew we'd had this chat.

• 47:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:07Speaker 05

  And I was worried because I know you have like a secret ingredient and I, and I was like, could it be omelette? That's not an ingredient.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  We would also, we would not pick something that we know someone likes and they might put on the menu. Because that would be pretty cruel.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  Doesn't seem very sportsmanly of us.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 05

  No, I agree.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  Even though of all the people to deliberately pick something that they are going to choose to, to kick them out, it's you, it's you.

• 47:29Speaker 05

  I'd flip this table instantly if you picked omelette.

• 47:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:32Speaker 05

  What's that an ingredient for? Double omelette.

• 47:36Speaker 05

  Um, yeah, I, I, I eat omelettes. I like omelettes. And I, um, I've got a funny relationship with omelettes because my wife is vegan. So there's no eggs in my house. Well, you have a vegan household.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 05

  I'm a vegetarian, so I do eat eggs and cheese, but only out of the house. So my treat to myself a lot of the time in my life is omelettes. And I go and I travel a lot and I'll eat an omelette.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:01Speaker 05

  And I'll always pick an omelette. If it's on a menu, I'll pick an omelette.

• 48:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:04Speaker 05

  But here's the interesting thing I have about omelettes. Most omelettes aren't nice. I think omelettes are tough to get right.

• 48:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:12Speaker 05

  When you've had good omelettes.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you've had good omelettes.

• 48:15Speaker 05

  I've had a couple of good omelettes.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 05

  Yeah. I've had a lot of stinkers.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:19Speaker 05

  Yeah. Uh, and there's no rhyme or reason as to where they come from. It's nothing to do with price. It's nothing to do with location. But there's a place near me that I go out for omelettes, maybe a couple of times a month. It's a cafe. It's a Moroccan cafe. I mean, look, I'm sure it's come up on this podcast before. The Moroccans know their way around an egg.

• 48:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. That exact phrase hasn't come up, but.

• 48:39Speaker 05

  Has it not?

• 48:39Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 48:40Speaker 05

  Take it from me. It's an amazing cafe. It's near where I live. I go there maybe once, twice a month. Their omelette, they've got a thing called an avocado omelette. It's heaven on earth.

• 48:51Speaker 03

  Okay, talk us through the avocado omelette, if, if indeed there are more details.

• 48:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, does sound like.

• 48:58Speaker 05

  I tell you the most interesting thing about the avocado omelette.

• 49:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:01Speaker 05

  Avocado belly features.

• 49:02Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 49:03Speaker 05

  So that is interesting.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:05Speaker 04

  Well, what do you look for in a good omelette, first of all? Because some people might be listening to this.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  I've got thoughts as well.

• 49:09Speaker 04

  And they've all got different images in their head.

• 49:12Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  Every single one of our listeners going, oh yeah, I know what he means by a good omelette. But do, do they know?

• 49:18Speaker 05

  Well, I don't know what they think. I mean, it's obviously it's open interpretation.

• 49:21Speaker 04

  Well, I'm asking you what you.

• 49:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, what do you think?

• 49:23Speaker 05

  Well, in terms of how it's prepared.

• 49:25Speaker 03

  Or what it looks like or what it's like.

• 49:27Speaker 05

  Like a flip over, like a flip that like you do it.

• 49:29Speaker 04

  You, you, come on.

• 49:31Speaker 05

  Well, I've told you, I'm not, I'm not good at describing food.

• 49:33Speaker 04

  Well, bad luck.

• 49:34Speaker 05

  Okay. Um, I guess it's like roll, I guess it's like a, they've, they've done it flat and then they've rolled, they've rolled it as they've fried it with the ingredients built into it.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 49:44Speaker 04

  What should it look like to you? Cause like for me, for years, I thought omelets should basically like a good, or just any omelette I'd ever had.

• 49:52Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  Was like quite like dappled, like white and brown.

• 49:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, with some color on the outside.

• 50:00Speaker 04

  And now it's just like, it should just look smooth.

• 50:04Speaker 05

  Well, yeah.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  And yellow.

• 50:06Speaker 04

  And yellow.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  And it's like, whoa, hold on a second. This is, this is what an omelette's supposed to look like for ages.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  I know, I'm the same, I'm the same. Well, you know, home omelets.

• 50:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  They've got color on the outside of them, right?

• 50:17Speaker 05

  I agree with you. I know exactly where you're coming from.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  Posh omelets, no color whatsoever, a lot of butter, but I prefer a home omelette. I don't want the smooth, the smooth omelette to me. I know it's fancier, but I don't want it.

• 50:28Speaker 05

  I know where you're coming from. The one I like is smoother.

• 50:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:32Speaker 05

  But the quality of it, in terms of how it looks, I don't know any other way of saying it other than kind of like a sleeping bag that's rolled up. But made of egg.

• 50:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:42Speaker 05

  Sean, this is beautiful. And that doesn't make you sick. I don't know what will.

• 50:45Speaker 04

  A great way of describing food.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  And who's in the sleeping bag?

• 50:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 05

  They have like a, a fried up mushrooms.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:52Speaker 05

  I think with a bit of garlic maybe on there.

• 50:54Speaker 03

  Lovely.

• 50:55Speaker 05

  Spinach.

• 50:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:56Speaker 05

  Feta crumbled in. Now that is, I've never had that anywhere else.

• 51:02Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 51:03Speaker 05

  Feta.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  In an omelette.

• 51:04Speaker 05

  It, it transforms the experience.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 51:07Speaker 05

  Rolled up nice. They put bits of avocado on the top.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 51:10Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 51:12Speaker 05

  They serve it with a little tiny salad. I think they drizzle it with like a bit of balsamic.

• 51:16Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 51:17Speaker 05

  And then you have two slices of brown toast.

• 51:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:20Speaker 05

  And you have a Moroccan coffee and you feel that you can take on the world and then 10 minutes later you have diarrhea. And that is what I do twice a week, sorry, twice a month. But um, yeah, that's I, I, I really love it and I love going there. Um, I love the energy of the place, a lot of bus drivers in there. Um, yeah, and I, I, I was trying to think of what else to have, but really that's.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  You love it. You've talked to me about omelets before. Didn't we, we, I thought we had quite a bracing conversation about how many eggs should be in an omelet.

• 51:50Speaker 05

  Hmm. And I'm none the wiser, Ed.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  No.

• 51:53Speaker 05

  Because I also think they sometimes, I think they pump the numbers on these eggs, on the menus.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:58Speaker 05

  I think they're juicing that.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:59Speaker 05

  They're saying it's a three egg or a four egg, and sometimes it's way less, sometimes it's clearly more.

• 52:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:04Speaker 05

  Do you know what I'm saying?

• 52:04Speaker 03

  Because I think they probably.

• 52:05Speaker 04

  I've never been told how many eggs are in the omelet before. This is a new thing to me.

• 52:09Speaker 05

  Only if it's on certain menus, they'll say it's a three egg omelet.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  Well, I think three is the received wisdom. A three, a three egg omelet is like a normal sized omelet.

• 52:17Speaker 05

  Mm hmm.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  But that's not enough for me, but sometimes four feels like too much. So I think we're gonna need to find smaller, a smaller egg.

• 52:23Speaker 05

  I think you need three and a half eggs.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, you need three and a half eggs.

• 52:25Speaker 04

  Three and a half.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  You need, you need three.

• 52:27Speaker 05

  Does such an egg exist?

• 52:28Speaker 03

  Three chicken, two quail, may I?

• 52:30Speaker 04

  Couple of quails in there.

• 52:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:31Speaker 05

  Don't know if I've ever had a quail's egg, so that'd be a real treat.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:34Speaker 05

  Do they fry up the same way?

• 52:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're just small eggs. Yeah.

• 52:39Speaker 05

  They're just small eggs.

• 52:41Speaker 04

  I lost my favourite omelet, it's gone off the menu.

• 52:43Speaker 05

  Where's that?

• 52:44Speaker 04

  Ozone, place called Ozone, that's what I'd always get. I'd get the omelet with trout in it. Really good, so delicious, not even on there anymore.

• 52:54Speaker 05

  Is that a break, breakfast brunch thing or is that, is that a dinner thing?

• 52:57Speaker 04

  They just have it there all day.

• 52:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  But like, yeah, I'd, I'd get it for like brunch or something.

• 53:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 53:02Speaker 04

  Even lunch, I'd say. It was my go to. I've tried other things on the menu, but I'd always circle back to that omelet. My favourite thing on there, last time I went there, not even, not even imprint.

• 53:12Speaker 05

  That's really, that's genuinely heartbreaking.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:14Speaker 05

  I feel like the omelet needs a, the omelet needs a, it needs a renaissance.

• 53:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:19Speaker 05

  Because I think, I think we're falling out of love with it.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  You were gonna suggest the omelet needs some sort of protection on menus like sort of National Trust, English Heritage type thing.

• 53:27Speaker 05

  I mean, I'm not opposed.

• 53:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:28Speaker 05

  I would say there are probably other things in the country to sort out first.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  Sure, but we can't do things like that.

• 53:33Speaker 05

  No, we can't. No, I mean, the thing is, it's, it's, it's the free market. If people don't want omelets anymore, they don't want them. But when they're gone, we'll miss them.

• 53:40Speaker 04

  Do you think the name?

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Shout out Spider Crab Omelet at Mountain again, obviously.

• 53:44Speaker 05

  Shall I name the place I go to? Is it gonna be inundated with people?

• 53:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 53:48Speaker 05

  It's called the La La Cafe.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  Fantastic.

• 53:50Speaker 05

  And it's from, and, and the lovely, incredible people from Morocco run it. And those omelets, my, my, my.

• 53:56Speaker 04

  Yeah. Now that you've named it, do you want to retract the comment about diarrhoea?

• 54:00Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:02Speaker 03

  But you're not saying that's the omelette doing that, that's your intestines.

• 54:06Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, it's your.

• 54:07Speaker 05

  Well, I mean, they haven't given me diarrhoea.

• 54:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 54:09Speaker 05

  I've chose, I've had it.

• 54:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:12Speaker 05

  It's not, you know, it's not, cause and effect hasn't been.

• 54:15Speaker 04

  You know your body, you know what's gonna happen.

• 54:16Speaker 05

  Yeah. I go in there, every time anything enters the, this mouth, you have, it has to be an option.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Well, maybe they'll be so happy that you've given them custom and shouted them out on the podcast that they'll change the name of the omelette.

• 54:30Speaker 05

  To what?

• 54:30Speaker 03

  Sean McDiarrhea omelette.

• 54:32Speaker 05

  Sean McOmelette. Imagine if every, all the little fans started going in there going, can I have the Sean McOmelette, please?

• 54:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:39Speaker 05

  They wouldn't know what the hell was going on.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  No, they wouldn't.

• 54:41Speaker 04

  No, but they'd be like, hey, there's bums on seats, people are coming in.

• 54:44Speaker 05

  There's a lot of people coming in anyway, there's a bus depot across the road.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  Bums on seats, but they'd be off of those seats pretty quickly.

• 54:50Speaker 04

  Well, those bus drivers get pretty angry once, you know, it gets filled with off-menu fans, this La La Cafe.

• 54:56Speaker 05

  They're angry anyway.

• 54:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:58Speaker 04

  Fair enough.

• 54:59Speaker 05

  They're always putting on bets and they never win.

• 55:02Speaker 04

  Someone's been listening while he's been wolfing down an omelette, an avocado omelette, just.

• 55:06Speaker 05

  Wolfing.

• 55:06Speaker 04

  Wolfing it down.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Does your wife know you're going for those omelettes?

• 55:09Speaker 05

  My wife, this is a really interesting question, Ed.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:12Speaker 05

  My wife, uh, hates that I go for omelettes and I actually do have to hide it from her. Because she's always like, how much did that cost? Always. And now I don't tell her I'm going.

• 55:21Speaker 04

  Just tell her how much it costs.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  What, so she's worried you're spending too much money on omelettes?

• 55:24Speaker 05

  My wife seems to have this idea in her head that an omelette costs like 500 quid.

• 55:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:29Speaker 05

  Because she's worried about like the financial ruin of our future.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 05

  Cause she's like, oh, you're going out for breakfast. I go, I'm spending nine quid.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:36Speaker 05

  On an omelette, maybe once a month, once a fortnight.

• 55:40Speaker 04

  Twice a month.

• 55:40Speaker 05

  Or, once a fortnight.

• 55:41Speaker 04

  You got me bank to rights, you said it earlier.

• 55:42Speaker 05

  Twice a month. Well, you got me bank to rights, fair enough. That's how you want to talk.

• 55:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:47Speaker 05

  But that's what, eighteen quid a month?

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's fine.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  That's fine.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, how much you spending on cityscapes?

• 55:54Speaker 05

  I mean.

• 55:55Speaker 04

  She must have asked you that.

• 55:56Speaker 05

  It was, it was more than eighteen quid.

• 55:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was a one off cost.

• 55:59Speaker 05

  It was a one off cost. However, since going twice a month, I will admit, James, toilet paper costs through the roof in my house.

• 56:06Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 56:06Speaker 05

  The bog roll costs through the roof.

• 56:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:09Speaker 05

  So it evens out. But yeah, my wife doesn't know I go, but actually we did, we did have to have a quite a serious conversation, probably the most serious chat we've had as a, as a couple. When I was like, you do have to just let me eat omelets from now on. Like you, I, I can't, babe, I can't, I can't be keeping these sort of secrets from you.

• 56:26Speaker 03

  It's like you're, it's like you're a sex addict and you've had to go, I need to go and sleep with other women.

• 56:30Speaker 05

  The honey, I, I. And the weird thing is most omelets I don't like. So it's a weird thing to, to, to think about.

• 56:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. I think this is a great start to the avocado omelette.

• 56:39Speaker 04

  I like it.

• 56:39Speaker 03

  Would you like a little Moroccan coffee with it as well?

• 56:41Speaker 05

  I mean, I love a coffee.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:43Speaker 05

  I'd love a little coffee.

• 56:44Speaker 04

  I think you should have the full setup that you would usually have at Lala.

• 56:46Speaker 05

  I don't think I'll have a, I don't think I'll have a double, um, I won't have the toast if that's okay, because I've already got bread.

• 56:51Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:00Speaker 04

  Your dream main course, let's see if we can keep the hits coming.

• 57:04Speaker 05

  Thank you. Um, I'm going to choose, uh, uh, it's, it's, it's a cuisine.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  A whole cuisine.

• 57:11Speaker 05

  Well, it's not a whole cuisine. I'll explain why, but it's basically, there's a type of food that has gone up and up and up in my rankings.

• 57:17Speaker 03

  So this is part of the curve. This is the curve up from normal.

• 57:20Speaker 05

  The biggest example of the curve of, of the nation.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:24Speaker 05

  Coming through me.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:26Speaker 04

  This is the biggest example of the curve of the nation coming through you.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what we're saying.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  That's the phrase. That's the clip.

• 57:33Speaker 05

  Can't believe I'm saying that again today. Um, I, uh.

• 57:40Speaker 05

  I will order now as like a takeaway, or if I get a chance to eat this, this type of food.

• 57:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:45Speaker 05

  Uh, Ethiopian food.

• 57:47Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 57:48Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 57:48Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 57:49Speaker 05

  Great.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  For veg, for veggies and vegans, you've got to say it's, it numbers amongst the best cuisines.

• 57:53Speaker 05

  Well, I think it's now, for me and my wife, certainly at the moment, it's definitely number one.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:57Speaker 05

  Like if I'm getting a takeaway, I go Ethiopian.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 05

  And it's interesting because I didn't even heard of this food until about five years ago.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:05Speaker 05

  But what I really love about it is every Ethiopian restaurant I've been to in the world, and I've been to Ethiopian restaurants in two countries.

• 58:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 58:13Speaker 05

  So have I. Which countries? Holland. Wow.

• 58:17Speaker 04

  And the United Kingdom.

• 58:19Speaker 05

  United Kingdom and Canada. So there we go.

• 58:21Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  Just the United Kingdom.

• 58:23Speaker 05

  They always have a thing on it called a ve- veggie plate or a veggie platter.

• 58:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:29Speaker 05

  Every single one I've been to has always had that. And no matter where you are, you order it and it's always the exact same. And that's what I would like as my main, my main.

• 58:39Speaker 03

  Talk us through the platter.

• 58:41Speaker 05

  This is the interesting thing about it. I don't know what any of the meals are, I don't know what any of the foods are actually called on it.

• 58:45Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 58:46Speaker 05

  That's why it's interesting.

• 58:47Speaker 04

  Is it on the injera bread?

• 58:49Speaker 05

  It's on injera bread?

• 58:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:50Speaker 05

  Yeah? Or injera bread's on the side, potentially.

• 58:53Speaker 04

  You, you want it all on top of that, don't you?

• 58:55Speaker 05

  You do have it on top.

• 58:55Speaker 04

  And some rolls on the side of it.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:57Speaker 04

  The really good restaurants, they come over and go, do you want some extra bread? And they bring it up all rolled up.

• 59:02Speaker 05

  Well, that's what I like, yeah.

• 59:03Speaker 04

  And get a tear into that.

• 59:04Speaker 05

  Or I can use some of my, uh, Turkish bread from earlier. That might be nice as well.

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Crossing the cuisines.

• 59:10Speaker 05

  Well, yes. Basically, it's a bunch of like vegetarian curry type things. Uh, I guess that's what they are. They're kind of curries.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:19Speaker 05

  Do you know if they are curries?

• 59:20Speaker 03

  Or stews?

• 59:21Speaker 05

  Or stews, yeah. And, I mean, look, as I've said, I don't know what any of them are called, but there's like a yellow one.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:28Speaker 05

  It's got like, uh, I guess it's split pea or something.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:30Speaker 05

  There's a couple of lentil ones. There's like a red one and a brown lentil one. Uh, there's a couple of green ones. There's loads of these.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  And they're just.

• 59:39Speaker 04

  Are they all, I mean, some of them, because some of them are like, you know, have the consistency of like a doll, maybe.

• 59:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  But then others are like, you know, shredded up like, uh, I guess cabbage or.

• 59:51Speaker 05

  Cabbages, maybe. I think kale or is it a.

• 59:54Speaker 04

  Carrot, like a sliced carrot one as well. It's very nice.

• 59:58Speaker 05

  There's loads of stuff in there. Yeah. And I think that when they're like more carrots, when they're like thicker carrots and potato stuff, a lot of the time they feel pickled, which is a really nice taste. You don't get that very often with cuisine that spicy.

• 1:00:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:09Speaker 05

  But I love this food. I love this food. And do you know what I like most about it is our curry is probably my number two.

• 1:00:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:17Speaker 05

  Probably, it was close, but here's why I like this more than curry.

• 1:00:20Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:00:20Speaker 05

  It's, I think, a lot healthier and it still scratches that itch of like the aromas and the spice, that warm hit in your mouth.

• 1:00:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:29Speaker 05

  I feel alive. I love, I love that feeling.

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 1:00:33Speaker 05

  But I like eating with the Angera.

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  The bread is so good.

• 1:00:36Speaker 05

  It is good. Do we, are we happy calling it bread? I mean, that's my only complaint.

• 1:00:40Speaker 04

  Well, that's what I mean. What would you suggest?

• 1:00:42Speaker 05

  Well, I don't know if it's bread, is it? It's nice.

• 1:00:45Speaker 04

  I mean, it must be. It's a sour spongy flatbread.

• 1:00:47Speaker 05

  I mean, if that's a bread, then my T-shirt is bread. That's all I'm saying.

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 1:00:51Speaker 05

  That's all I'm saying.

• 1:00:52Speaker 04

  You got a sour spongy T-shirt?

• 1:00:53Speaker 05

  I certainly do.

• 1:00:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:55Speaker 05

  And it goes well with chickpeas.

• 1:00:58Speaker 05

  They're called watts. Well, there we go.

• 1:01:00Speaker 03

  Which doesn't help you because you don't know what they are.

• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, so.

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  So this is like, this is like who's on first.

• 1:01:05Speaker 05

  It is like who's on first. It is like an even more infuriating real life version of who's on first.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  What's all this?

• 1:01:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:12Speaker 05

  Yeah. What's all this? No, I mean, what's all this what?

• 1:01:17Speaker 04

  For the listener, that's a, like an old timey American accent. You're not doing an Ethiopian accent.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, that's an old timey American accent.

• 1:01:23Speaker 04

  Just for the listener.

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  If, if I wanted to do an Ethiopian accent, I'd fucking nail it.

• 1:01:27Speaker 04

  Ed's very good at accents.

• 1:01:28Speaker 05

  How thick are your listeners?

• 1:01:30Speaker 04

  Well.

• 1:01:31Speaker 05

  That they could possibly think that was an Ethiopian accent.

• 1:01:33Speaker 04

  You're about to meet a lot of them in your local cafe. You, you tell us.

• 1:01:37Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, I guess.

• 1:01:38Speaker 03

  Do you have a, a restaurant in London that you go to? You've been to multiple times?

• 1:01:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, I've been, we've been to a few, but there's one, uh, uh, in Brixton Hill called Adams, that I would say is as good as anywhere. And if you live in South London, Adams in Brixton Hill, biggest, most firm shout out of my life.

• 1:01:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:56Speaker 05

  All of the veggie plate, veggie plate, whatever it's called.

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:59Speaker 05

  Vegan. Brilliant, comes with loads of Angera. It's like fifteen quid and it's like three days worth of food. They're so generous with the portions. And there's another one in Stockwell, I think it's called Harare. That's Eritrean, but I believe Eritrean and Ethiopian is kind of the same. I don't understand the full geopolitics.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  There's one in Brixton Village, isn't there? There's an Ethiopian restaurant in Brixton Village.

• 1:02:21Speaker 05

  East of Eden.

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's really good.

• 1:02:23Speaker 05

  Shut down, I think. I might have shut down.

• 1:02:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, because there was one in Brixton Village that I was like, I used to live around there. Yeah, I would just like go there loads. And it didn't survive the pandemic.

• 1:02:33Speaker 05

  Yeah. The one in Stockwell, I went there with my wife for a nice lunch. And they were so nice and they each gave us a glass of barley wine at the end. And if you go there, enjoy the food, they'll offer you barley wine, say no.

• 1:02:54Speaker 05

  Because they don't tell you, oh, just FYI, you're not going to be able to function for the rest of the day if you have even one sip of this.

• 1:03:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're hammered.

• 1:03:01Speaker 05

  I was just, honestly, we were falling over the place. But I mean, that's my, I think that's the food I go for at the moment and I'd love that to be my main course, please.

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  That's a fantastic choice.

• 1:03:12Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  I've never had an Ethiopian meal and not left completely full to the rafters. I feel so full up in a very good way.

• 1:03:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's not, it's not like a heavy, cloggy, like I do compare it to a curry, I guess, which maybe is not a direct comparison, but it doesn't have that same guilt afterwards. I can still do stuff.

• 1:03:32Speaker 03

  The bread, I just can't stop eating as well. I think it's the sour flavour that makes it totally addictive, like it makes your mouth water.

• 1:03:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's really good.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  And eat with your hands.

• 1:03:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, I do like, I do. I always think I don't want to eat, I'll kind of be bothered with the Angera and then the minute it's there, I think it's perfect.

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  And you're basically eating the plate.

• 1:03:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're eating the plate.

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  And I think more cuisine should introduce this.

• 1:03:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, edible plates.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Edible plates.

• 1:03:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:56Speaker 03

  It would save them washing up every time.

• 1:03:57Speaker 05

  Yeah. The Greeks would struggle, culture wise?

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:04:02Speaker 05

  Well, the whole thing is they throw their plates on the ground.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  So that's the whole thing.

• 1:04:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, waste of the meal. Throw a whole chicken down there.

• 1:04:09Speaker 04

  They can still do that, but I'll lay on the floor and they can throw it into my mouth.

• 1:04:11Speaker 05

  Yeah. Would you go to Greek restaurants more or less if they demanded that you lay on the floor and they threw the food into your mouth, James? You go for it once.

• 1:04:20Speaker 04

  I'd go for it once and see how I feel about it.

• 1:04:21Speaker 05

  Put the pink in.

• 1:04:25Speaker 03

  Have you ever been, I've never been to a Greek restaurant where they smash plates.

• 1:04:28Speaker 05

  Uh, I've been to a Greek restaurant where I smash plates.

• 1:04:32Speaker 05

  No, I don't think I have.

• 1:04:34Speaker 04

  You've had any barley wines again?

• 1:04:36Speaker 05

  Oh God, knocking me out. No, I don't think I have. Is that a real thing?

• 1:04:41Speaker 03

  I think it is, but I don't know, I don't think it's, it's not very widespread anymore.

• 1:04:46Speaker 05

  It's a strange stereotype to be untrue. The Greek smash plates.

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:51Speaker 05

  No, I don't, I don't. I guess they're all weird in their own way.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  I don't think it's untrue, but I think maybe the UK perception, because they used to do it a lot in the eighties and nineties here, is that that happens at every Greek restaurant.

• 1:05:01Speaker 05

  What were they doing? How bad plentiful were these plates?

• 1:05:04Speaker 04

  It probably happened once and someone, some Tory wrote an article about it.

• 1:05:07Speaker 05

  It's probably on Only Fools and Horses or something and people thought, oh, that's what they all do.

• 1:05:11Speaker 04

  Probably was actually. There's a lot of that kind of stuff smuggled into Only Fools.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:19Speaker 00

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• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  So for something that's big though, what's your dream side?

• 1:06:31Speaker 05

  Well.

• 1:06:32Speaker 03

  That's the thing, because you've basically got all your sides there as well.

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, this is, I wouldn't say it's a cohesive meal in the same way, but it probably would work, as long as you accept that maybe there'd be some leftover. But I really wanna have, uh, just a lovely bag of fish and chip chips, like Chippy Shop chips.

• 1:06:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:52Speaker 05

  Like really well done in a bag. I guess that's a side.

• 1:06:56Speaker 04

  Don't the bag have to be made of injera bread?

• 1:06:58Speaker 05

  I can't think of anything worse than that.

• 1:07:00Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:07:01Speaker 03

  You don't wanna eat the bag?

• 1:07:02Speaker 05

  I don't wanna eat the bag? Uh, hmm, no, I don't wanna eat the bag. I just want a paper bag.

• 1:07:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:09Speaker 05

  Like a standard paper bag, and they pile them in there, and I walk around with it. So maybe it's not like a side.

• 1:07:16Speaker 04

  You wanna walk around with it? You don't wanna sit down for this?

• 1:07:18Speaker 05

  This is a big thing for me. I love eating fish and chip shop chips.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:23Speaker 05

  I love Chippy Chips. I eat them a lot, particularly in the winter months, but I always eat them when I'm on the move. I'm buying them in a shop and I'm walking somewhere. I'm going to the football, I'm going to the pub.

• 1:07:33Speaker 03

  I can just imagine that, you know?

• 1:07:35Speaker 05

  You don't have to imagine.

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  If someone said, a comedian's walking around with a bag of Chippy Chips, and it's cold outside.

• 1:07:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:42Speaker 03

  And he's going to the football, I'd be like, that's Sean McGlocklin.

• 1:07:45Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  I don't know why.

• 1:07:47Speaker 05

  I do think that's a compliment, by the way.

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  And also you're wearing fingerless gloves in my, in my mind when you're doing it. You've got a withnail character to you.

• 1:07:52Speaker 05

  Do I?

• 1:07:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:54Speaker 04

  Can't you imagine, and maybe it's just because you're both called Sean, but I can imagine Sean Walsh doing it as well.

• 1:07:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:59Speaker 05

  We both support the same football team. Maybe we're going to the same.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  Both used to live in Brighton.

• 1:08:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:04Speaker 04

  Maybe it's a Brighton thing?

• 1:08:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, there we go.

• 1:08:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, maybe it is a Brighton thing, eating chips. I've never thought about it.

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

  It's big in the Brighton culture, fish and chips.

• 1:08:13Speaker 05

  Do you know, weirdly, I don't associate it with the beach. That's the thing with fish and chips. I don't associate, I associate it with like, be, like. Urban areas and walking around.

• 1:08:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:23Speaker 05

  There's something in the winter. Do you do this? I mean, this must be a semi common thing that people do. They just buy a bag of chips and walk around.

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  I don't eat and walk.

• 1:08:31Speaker 05

  You don't eat and walk ever?

• 1:08:32Speaker 03

  No, it's a waste.

• 1:08:33Speaker 05

  Of what?

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  Both things.

• 1:08:35Speaker 05

  Okay, good answer.

• 1:08:36Speaker 03

  I can't enjoy either of them.

• 1:08:38Speaker 05

  Do you do this, James?

• 1:08:39Speaker 04

  I've definitely eaten and walked, but I would rather sit, if I got some fish and chips in the chip shop, I think, and we're out for the day. I'm looking for somewhere we can sit and have a.

• 1:08:50Speaker 05

  Well, if you're getting fish, if you're having cod.

• 1:08:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:53Speaker 03

  You're not walking around.

• 1:08:55Speaker 05

  It's a tou- that's a tough walk.

• 1:08:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:59Speaker 05

  That's tricky, isn't it?

• 1:09:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:01Speaker 05

  But I'm talking just a bag of chips.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  Sausage isn't a tough walk.

• 1:09:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I'm, I don't.

• 1:09:05Speaker 03

  I'm just thinking of things that you could walk with from the fish and chip shop.

• 1:09:08Speaker 05

  There's a lot of things that aren't a tough walk.

• 1:09:10Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 1:09:11Speaker 05

  Was this a walking podcast or is it a food podcast?

• 1:09:13Speaker 03

  Well, it's both now. You're the one who's ordered.

• 1:09:16Speaker 04

  You've got crossover appeal.

• 1:09:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, you do, really. Yeah, I guess. I mean, I would have a sausage because I don't eat sausages.

• 1:09:22Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:09:22Speaker 05

  But I'm more than welcome if you want to have a nice walk with me. Do you have a little sausage and chips?

• 1:09:27Speaker 04

  Where's the walk happening? Where are we walking?

• 1:09:29Speaker 05

  I will walk from my place to a pub today. Let's say it's early December, it's Christmas, go to the pub.

• 1:09:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:35Speaker 05

  This is, it's usually, I'm on my way to having some drinks.

• 1:09:38Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 1:09:38Speaker 05

  I really want to line my stomach.

• 1:09:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:41Speaker 05

  In a cheap, easy way.

• 1:09:42Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 1:09:43Speaker 05

  Fish and chip shop, get the bag, even a small chips, they load them in.

• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:48Speaker 05

  And there's something in the winter when I'm holding that bag, it's like a furnace. If it's cold, it's like a little furnace, don't you think?

• 1:09:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:56Speaker 05

  And I'm throwing like hot coals down my, and it hurts.

• 1:10:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, and there's like the steam from your breath and the steam from the chips.

• 1:10:04Speaker 05

  It's, it is tough walk.

• 1:10:05Speaker 03

  It's burning your fingers, it's a tough walk.

• 1:10:06Speaker 05

  It's a tough walk, yeah, because I picked up the chip fork. I've never used one in my life. I've never not picked one up.

• 1:10:11Speaker 03

  How to.

• 1:10:12Speaker 05

  I like how you use one of those.

• 1:10:13Speaker 04

  I love using the chip fork.

• 1:10:14Speaker 05

  Do you?

• 1:10:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:15Speaker 05

  The, the, the, the wooden one.

• 1:10:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:18Speaker 03

  They're too small though, right?

• 1:10:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, too small. But I still like using them. But then often, you know, if you get really good chips, that you've drenched them in vinegar and stuff, you're probably not picking up much.

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:10:30Speaker 04

  It's going right through them.

• 1:10:31Speaker 05

  But I really find that a very evocative thing. I find it's very, um. That's a nice treat that I give myself every, you know, semi regularly.

• 1:10:39Speaker 03

  Once or twice a month.

• 1:10:40Speaker 05

  Just once or twice a month.

• 1:10:41Speaker 04

  Has your wife had to sit you down and ask about how much you're spending on chips each month?

• 1:10:45Speaker 05

  I mean, I'm sure she will after listening to this.

• 1:10:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:48Speaker 05

  I'm sure that, I mean, it's, it's in, it's in the horizon.

• 1:10:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:51Speaker 05

  Um, but it's a nice thing. I think the fish and chip shop, the traditional chippy, my childhood, I, that was the first thing I was allowed to do on my own was go and buy fish and chips to the family on Friday.

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  The first thing you're allowed to do on your own?

• 1:11:01Speaker 05

  On my own. It's in terms of leaving the house and doing something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, uh, I just love it.

• 1:11:07Speaker 04

  Was that a big day? And they said Shaun?

• 1:11:09Speaker 05

  It was a terrifying day.

• 1:11:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:11Speaker 05

  They just gave me money when you're getting fish and chips.

• 1:11:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:13Speaker 05

  What? I'm seventeen.

• 1:11:16Speaker 04

  Seventeen.

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  Have you seen?

• 1:11:19Speaker 05

  No, I was a kid. I was like a little boy.

• 1:11:21Speaker 03

  I've almost certainly brought this up on the pod before, but have you seen the Japanese TV show Old Enough? I think it's called Old Enough, something like that.

• 1:11:27Speaker 05

  No, I wouldn't, I'm not.

• 1:11:28Speaker 03

  It's on Netflix, it's only short episodes and it's, they basically send a tiny kid out to do the shopping or to do an errand and they film them secretly along the way.

• 1:11:36Speaker 05

  Oh, it's like a documentary.

• 1:11:37Speaker 03

  Well, no, it's more, it's like a game show, really.

• 1:11:39Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:11:39Speaker 04

  But the kid is, like, kid knows they're being filmed, but doesn't know where any of the cameras are.

• 1:11:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:44Speaker 05

  Wow, like Truman.

• 1:11:45Speaker 04

  There's like, yeah, that's like, yeah, like consent, consensual Truman Show.

• 1:11:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:49Speaker 04

  Like gardeners with like cameras in their lawn mowers and stuff.

• 1:11:53Speaker 03

  There's basically a little kid being like with a list of things to do and they're like, they're like four.

• 1:11:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:59Speaker 05

  And we have to see if, if this kid can like, how they can manage it.

• 1:12:02Speaker 03

  Or how much they fuck up is the best bit.

• 1:12:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:12:05Speaker 03

  There's a devastating episode where a kid gets, his mum lives right at the top of the hill and he get, manages to get these apples. And he gets halfway up the hill and they all fall out of the bag and roll all the way down the hill. It's the most tragic thing I've ever seen.

• 1:12:18Speaker 04

  It's gripping.

• 1:12:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:19Speaker 05

  That sounds great. I really want to watch this.

• 1:12:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, you should.

• 1:12:22Speaker 05

  And I didn't, there were no mishaps like that when I went to get fish and chips.

• 1:12:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:25Speaker 05

  I remember, uh, once I went in there and the two pound coin had just been launched.

• 1:12:31Speaker 05

  And the, the woman gave the guy change.

• 1:12:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:36Speaker 05

  And two pound coin and the guy was like, I'm not accepting that. And it was Friday night, it was packed out, this queue was packed.

• 1:12:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:44Speaker 05

  And the guy went, I'm not taking that two quid, it's not real money.

• 1:12:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:47Speaker 05

  And she said, it is real money. And he went, I'm not taking it. And everyone was, it was chow, across the whole line. Two pound coin. So that's, that's the closest there was an incident when I was getting fish and chips. But I knew that, I knew the couple who ran the ship.

• 1:13:01Speaker 04

  Did he end up taking the two pound coin?

• 1:13:02Speaker 05

  I don't believe he did, no. She had a few ones knocking around. So it was a popular, it was a popular night, you know.

• 1:13:07Speaker 04

  I loved it when the two pound coin came in.

• 1:13:10Speaker 05

  Hell of a coin.

• 1:13:10Speaker 04

  Hell of a coin. Hell of a coin.

• 1:13:12Speaker 05

  Hell of a coin.

• 1:13:13Speaker 04

  I think they should have made that coin the one.

• 1:13:16Speaker 05

  Can you imagine the confusion in the fish bar that night? Can you imagine? This is now one pound. What?

• 1:13:24Speaker 04

  I think they should have made the middle one spin. Yeah. On the two pound coin.

• 1:13:28Speaker 05

  Love where you head that, yeah, yeah. I agree with that.

• 1:13:30Speaker 04

  Like John Cena's ti- uh, title. Like John Cena's title.

• 1:13:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, like John Cena's title. That's what I thought they were missing.

• 1:13:36Speaker 04

  Yeah. I think that would have been cool.

• 1:13:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:39Speaker 04

  Middle one spun a bit, you could play with it. Then that man probably would have said, yeah, I'll take that.

• 1:13:43Speaker 05

  I think the one pound coin should have just been a game boy.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:46Speaker 05

  That would have been fun as well, wouldn't it? Yeah, if we're, if we're talking about it, that's what I thought.

• 1:13:51Speaker 04

  Yeah. No, I think it should have been a game boy as well.

• 1:13:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, why not?

• 1:14:00Speaker 04

  Your dream drink?

• 1:14:01Speaker 05

  I'll tell you what I really like to drink, and it's probably aside of how I've been living my life the last few years. The bo- the tiny bottles of red wine they give you on flights.

• 1:14:09Speaker 04

  Oh, oh boy. This is the bleakest answer we've ever had to this. Yeah, we've, we've done hundreds of episodes of this podcast.

• 1:14:16Speaker 05

  Is that bleak?

• 1:14:17Speaker 04

  I don't think we've had a bleaker answer to dream drink than the tiny little wines you get on planes.

• 1:14:22Speaker 05

  I love how I feel if I'm on a long, late night flight.

• 1:14:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:26Speaker 05

  Maybe I'm flying back across the seas.

• 1:14:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:28Speaker 05

  And they bring around the trolley and I go, I'll have red wine. Sometimes they just give you two straight out the gate.

• 1:14:34Speaker 04

  I ask for two.

• 1:14:35Speaker 05

  You ask for two?

• 1:14:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:37Speaker 05

  Well, there you go.

• 1:14:38Speaker 04

  And you can't just ask for two.

• 1:14:39Speaker 05

  Course you can.

• 1:14:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. They're not gonna shame you on the spot in front of everyone.

• 1:14:44Speaker 05

  Shame doesn't enter my mind at this point.

• 1:14:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:46Speaker 05

  But it's good to know the option is there to ask. Ask and you shall receive, right?

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:50Speaker 05

  That's what they always say.

• 1:14:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:51Speaker 05

  That's the British Airways motto.

• 1:14:52Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, they came up with that.

• 1:14:54Speaker 05

  Yeah. And I, I, I sit there and I, I guess it's the altitude, I don't know what it is. And I love drinking wine.

• 1:15:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:01Speaker 05

  But for some reason, when I'm on a plane and I'm in that reduced space and it's a bit claustrophobic and the air is a bit different and I'm watching like Rush Hour Three or whatever. Get a bit of that wine, it just feels different, I don't know why.

• 1:15:14Speaker 03

  I agree, I agree, I like this.

• 1:15:15Speaker 05

  I'm probably a bit tired.

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:17Speaker 05

  You know, it's a late flight.

• 1:15:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:19Speaker 05

  I don't think it's bleak, it's quite a nice little moment of like luxury.

• 1:15:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:24Speaker 05

  In a pretty horrible sterile environment.

• 1:15:26Speaker 03

  See, I li- I like long flights because you're like enclosed, you're just getting your own little world really. And you get little drinks and there's films and there's noth- there's nothing you can do but just sit there.

• 1:15:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, I, I'm now well past the point of enjoying them because I've, I've been tra- I, I mean, I, I've been travelling so much.

• 1:15:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:43Speaker 05

  But that is just like a real treat for me. I mean, it's, I, I guess the drink is red wine, but specifically can it make me feel the way I feel when it's like 11pm? And I'm wa- and I'm in the air and.

• 1:15:56Speaker 03

  So we've, we've actually with, for this dream meal, you're on the move a lot.

• 1:16:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm an active guy.

• 1:16:02Speaker 03

  The cu- the cup, first couple of courses, well, I mean, do you want to go to the La La Cafe for the omelette?

• 1:16:07Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:16:08Speaker 03

  Do you want the bus drivers there?

• 1:16:09Speaker 05

  I like the ambiance.

• 1:16:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. And then you're going to Adam, is it Adams?

• 1:16:14Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 1:16:14Speaker 03

  For the Ethiopian platter and then you walk in with the chips.

• 1:16:18Speaker 05

  This is really nice, yeah.

• 1:16:19Speaker 03

  You walk into the airport.

• 1:16:21Speaker 04

  Do you want the bus drivers to give you a lift to the main course?

• 1:16:23Speaker 05

  To Gatwick?

• 1:16:24Speaker 04

  Just from the, the start to the main course, the bus driver, one of the bus drivers to take you by bus.

• 1:16:29Speaker 05

  It's not that far.

• 1:16:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, but then, I'm just saying, it just adds a little thing, doesn't it?

• 1:16:33Speaker 05

  I guess it would.

• 1:16:33Speaker 04

  You'd be on the bus and then you're walking with your chips and then you're getting on a plane.

• 1:16:36Speaker 05

  Ideally, it would be one of the ones that I've, hasn't just lost like 50 quid on the horses or something because they don't, I don't trust them.

• 1:16:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, promise you a bus driver whose life hasn't just been devastated by his gambling addiction.

• 1:16:47Speaker 05

  If you can promise that, then I'd be happy to take you up on that offer.

• 1:16:50Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:16:51Speaker 05

  Um, because I enjoy public transport as well, so that would be really nice for me.

• 1:16:54Speaker 04

  You'd like that, yeah.

• 1:16:55Speaker 03

  So you're hopping on a plane for this? Is there any particular red wine you'd like or is it whatever they've got on the plane?

• 1:17:01Speaker 05

  Red wine, um, I guess it could still own, is that, is that good?

• 1:17:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:17:06Speaker 03

  It depends, I mean, it's all dependent, but.

• 1:17:08Speaker 05

  Depending on what?

• 1:17:09Speaker 03

  Well, where, you know, who's made it, where it's made, the vintage.

• 1:17:13Speaker 05

  Um. Uh, well, I'll have a good one. Yeah. House, house red. British Airways.

• 1:17:21Speaker 03

  Sorry, Cote d'Or is made in Cote d'Or, so it doesn't depend on.

• 1:17:24Speaker 05

  That's what I, I thought that, yeah.

• 1:17:25Speaker 03

  Sorry, just need to clear that up.

• 1:17:27Speaker 05

  I thought you'd be, you're a big wine guy, aren't you?

• 1:17:29Speaker 03

  Not a big wine guy, I like it and I like.

• 1:17:32Speaker 04

  Is it, you're, you're a whiny?

• 1:17:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:35Speaker 04

  How likely are you to get a good one on a plane? That's a genuine question. I've never had wine on a plane. I'd usually go for a cocktail.

• 1:17:42Speaker 05

  Do you?

• 1:17:43Speaker 04

  I go for ginger ale and whiskey. So that's not really a cocktail. I'll make it. It's just a.

• 1:17:49Speaker 03

  Well, that was the original meaning of cocktail was just booze and sugar, so.

• 1:17:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:54Speaker 05

  Wow, I didn't know that.

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  So I'd do that on a plane. I'd just be, have a ginger ale and a whiskey, please.

• 1:17:59Speaker 05

  I, I like a red wine because it also helps you sleep if it's an oven. It will help me maybe snooze a bit. I mean, I, in theory, it's never worked. But that's partly because I'm too, too, too tall for planes.

• 1:18:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:18:08Speaker 04

  But is it good wine? Because I mean, I've never, they've never handed me a, you know, a lovely, lovely whiskey. It's just, you know, whatever they've got knocking around.

• 1:18:17Speaker 05

  I mean, I think it's probably, I think, I reckon the base standard of wine is higher than the base standard of whiskey across the board anyway. Is that fair to say?

• 1:18:26Speaker 03

  I think that might be fair to say.

• 1:18:26Speaker 05

  A cheaper bottle of wine is always going to be a higher quality than a cheaper whiskey.

• 1:18:30Speaker 03

  Do you want us to upgrade you on the flight?

• 1:18:33Speaker 05

  I've been upgraded a few times recently.

• 1:18:35Speaker 03

  Is it better wine?

• 1:18:36Speaker 05

  I wouldn't know.

• 1:18:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:38Speaker 05

  I mean, I, I don't, when I get, if I'm in a economy premium and they go, would you like some wine? I go, can, for comparison, can I have some of the shit one from the back as well?

• 1:18:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:46Speaker 05

  I've actually never said that.

• 1:18:47Speaker 03

  You should do that.

• 1:18:48Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, now I know I can ask.

• 1:18:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:52Speaker 04

  I've, I have on two bottles, but I want one of them from the economy.

• 1:18:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:18:55Speaker 04

  One from business.

• 1:18:57Speaker 03

  And don't tell me which is which and I have to work it out.

• 1:18:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:19:00Speaker 03

  And I'll put on the sleep mask when you pour them.

• 1:19:04Speaker 05

  Put on the King of Queens for me, please.

• 1:19:07Speaker 05

  Put on the King of Queens any episode. Thank you.

• 1:19:09Speaker 03

  In business class, that is actually about King, Kings and Queens.

• 1:19:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. It's very different.

• 1:19:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:14Speaker 04

  It's the crown.

• 1:19:16Speaker 05

  Do you suggest him in the crowd, sir?

• 1:19:19Speaker 04

  You must be in the crowd. He got upgraded today. He doesn't know what it's called.

• 1:19:27Speaker 05

  Oh dear. Yeah. I don't know. It probably is. Probably not great wine, but I there's something about that moment.

• 1:19:33Speaker 03

  The atmosphere and the environment.

• 1:19:34Speaker 05

  Enjoy travelling.

• 1:19:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:36Speaker 05

  And all I do is travel and I don't enjoy the, I don't enjoy it anymore. The planes, the airports. That I find is like a real nice little island. Mentally, I have my little wine.

• 1:19:48Speaker 03

  This is for work, you're travelling a lot?

• 1:19:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, and for, and for play.

• 1:19:53Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:19:54Speaker 05

  Is that a?

• 1:19:56Speaker 05

  Maybe I maybe travel for work, but also my wife's from overseas. I travel to see her, her family a lot and yeah.

• 1:20:02Speaker 03

  Is that play?

• 1:20:03Speaker 05

  Like, it's not work.

• 1:20:04Speaker 03

  See your in-laws and go, it's not work. Who's up for a play?

• 1:20:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, you figure, yeah, I'm here for play.

• 1:20:08Speaker 05

  I'm here to play. I mean, if those are the terms.

• 1:20:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:11Speaker 05

  Work and play. I mean, if I'd have said for visit, would you, would you have taken that as an answer?

• 1:20:15Speaker 03

  No, because that's not grammatically correct, is it? You can't go, it's for visit.

• 1:20:18Speaker 05

  So I say it's for play.

• 1:20:19Speaker 03

  Pleasure?

• 1:20:20Speaker 04

  Business or pleasure?

• 1:20:21Speaker 05

  Business or pleasure?

• 1:20:22Speaker 04

  I guess is that, yeah, when you think about it, I mean, that's, that's the phrase they would ask you, but that sounds weird as.

• 1:20:27Speaker 05

  My fat, my in-laws would ask me that.

• 1:20:28Speaker 04

  Well, sometimes at the airport, they ask you that.

• 1:20:30Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:20:31Speaker 04

  Business or pleasure? But like that, that's as weird as work or play. If they said to me, work or play, I'd think that was weird, but actually business or pleasure sounds really dirty. Hmm. Sounds more perverted.

• 1:20:41Speaker 05

  Hmm. Hmm. Pleasure then. Yeah, I go for pleasure and, and, but I enjoy my work. So it's all, it's all a pleasure.

• 1:20:47Speaker 03

  Well, I've never answered that question with one or the other. If someone says business or pleasure, I'll always wink and say a bit of both.

• 1:20:54Speaker 05

  Do you?

• 1:20:55Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:20:56Speaker 05

  I'm really glad you said that you don't say that.

• 1:20:59Speaker 03

  I might say a bit of both, but I wouldn't couple it up with a wink.

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  You've got to read the room.

• 1:21:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:21:04Speaker 04

  If you've got a fun person at customs, then you think it will fly and not hinder your trip.

• 1:21:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:21:09Speaker 04

  And delay you.

• 1:21:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:21:10Speaker 04

  Then throw, throw in a wink. Business or a bit of both, throw in a wink.

• 1:21:14Speaker 03

  I'm winking in my passport photo as well. So it's actually quite helpful.

• 1:21:17Speaker 04

  Yeah. He's got a little ting on his teeth.

• 1:21:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:23Speaker 05

  It breaches all international law, your passport photo.

• 1:21:27Speaker 04

  Do you ever get asked what your job is at customs and have to say I'm a comedian and then brace yourself for any follow up questions?

• 1:21:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, sometimes. Yeah.

• 1:21:35Speaker 04

  Has anyone ever asked you to tell a joke or anything?

• 1:21:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I just delivered my full hour and a half long set to rapturous applause.

• 1:21:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:44Speaker 04

  It goes really well.

• 1:21:45Speaker 05

  It goes really well.

• 1:21:45Speaker 03

  All the other customs people come over.

• 1:21:47Speaker 05

  It's a great show, I'm a good writer. I work really hard on my jokes. I don't think they ask you that much, though. I don't get that question that often. Where do you get that?

• 1:21:56Speaker 03

  America.

• 1:21:57Speaker 04

  US, yeah.

• 1:21:57Speaker 05

  US, wow.

• 1:21:58Speaker 04

  First time I went there.

• 1:21:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:22:00Speaker 04

  The guy goes, what are you here for? What's your job? Comedian. And he literally went, tell me a joke.

• 1:22:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:22:06Speaker 04

  And I was like, um, I don't really like do jokes on my set and I can't, and my mind's gone blank, I can't think of them right now. He's like, why's your mind gone blank? I was like, I'm a bit nervous. He's like, why are you nervous?

• 1:22:19Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:22:19Speaker 04

  And I was like, I cannot believe how badly this is going.

• 1:22:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:22Speaker 04

  I just had to say, um.

• 1:22:24Speaker 05

  It's the comedy balloon all over again.

• 1:22:25Speaker 04

  I literally had to say to him, I went, to be honest, mate, I'm just quite an anxious person and this is like pretty full on. And he went, oh, okay. He realised he'd gone too far. He went, okay, I probably didn't need to do this to this guy.

• 1:22:37Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 1:22:37Speaker 03

  Well, you know, I've surely told you about what happened to me when I went to the States for work, when I was making a TV show. And at customs, they said, why are you here? And I said, I'm shooting a pilot.

• 1:22:50Speaker 04

  Oh my God, I've not heard that before. That is clean.

• 1:22:57Speaker 04

  We arrive at your dream dessert. Um, we've been all over, you've been on planes, buses, which was not forced on you at all. You've walked around.

• 1:23:06Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:23:07Speaker 04

  Eating your chips. Where are we now?

• 1:23:09Speaker 03

  Are we off the plane now?

• 1:23:11Speaker 05

  We're off the plane.

• 1:23:11Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:23:12Speaker 04

  Where have we landed?

• 1:23:13Speaker 03

  Where have we landed?

• 1:23:14Speaker 05

  Probably my living room again.

• 1:23:16Speaker 03

  Oh, directly in your living room?

• 1:23:17Speaker 05

  Well, I guess it doesn't have to be.

• 1:23:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:19Speaker 05

  Well, we'll figure this out as I say it. How about that?

• 1:23:22Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:23:22Speaker 05

  Because I've liked you've helped me lead, you've helped lead me on this nice little journey.

• 1:23:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:28Speaker 05

  Sugar is my vice. If I have a vice in this life, it's probably sugar. Um.

• 1:23:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:38Speaker 05

  And uh.

• 1:23:39Speaker 03

  You must, you can act with that though.

• 1:23:41Speaker 04

  I do, but I don't think I'd phrase it like a Matt Berry character. But yeah, yeah, sugar is my vice. If I have a vice in this life, it would be sugar.

• 1:23:49Speaker 05

  I'm just, I'm trying to attract a more sort of upscale audience.

• 1:23:53Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:23:53Speaker 04

  I think it's nice.

• 1:23:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I would say, yeah, absolutely. Sugar is my vice.

• 1:23:59Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 1:23:59Speaker 03

  So you're trying to.

• 1:24:00Speaker 04

  Shoplifting.

• 1:24:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:24:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:03Speaker 03

  You're trying to attract a more upscale audience and this is what you're doing with the Sean McTalk show, is it?

• 1:24:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, it is. And to be honest, my upscale audience attempts are going to be undermined by my choice of dessert.

• 1:24:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:15Speaker 04

  And guests.

• 1:24:16Speaker 05

  And guests.

• 1:24:17Speaker 04

  Pelham are going to help you out, mate. What an upscale audience, get Pelham on.

• 1:24:20Speaker 05

  What was that you were saying about him being a popular guest on this show?

• 1:24:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, we're not upscale.

• 1:24:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:25Speaker 05

  Well, fair enough.

• 1:24:26Speaker 03

  With gum.

• 1:24:26Speaker 04

  We are, this is a very common podcast.

• 1:24:29Speaker 05

  Respect.

• 1:24:30Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:24:31Speaker 05

  It's good that you know yourselves.

• 1:24:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:33Speaker 05

  Uh, anyway, sugar, I like sugar.

• 1:24:36Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:24:37Speaker 05

  It's the point I'm trying to make. And I try, I actually have to stop, I have to not have it around ever.

• 1:24:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:43Speaker 05

  Because I will just, I will, I'll just keep, it will keep going in there.

• 1:24:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:47Speaker 05

  And it will send me crazy. And I, I really struggle to like resist the minute I have one bit of chocolate. It's like, it's over.

• 1:24:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:54Speaker 04

  So when you say it sends you crazy, does it send you crazy because you can't stop eating it? Or does it send you crazy, like, you know, is it stressing you out?

• 1:25:01Speaker 05

  All of it.

• 1:25:02Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:25:02Speaker 05

  Not all, any, any description of, it sends him crazy is what's happening. Like, I start talking different, I sweat, my eyes are darting even more than normal.

• 1:25:10Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:25:11Speaker 05

  Uh.

• 1:25:11Speaker 03

  You're chocolate crazy football mad.

• 1:25:13Speaker 05

  Chocolate crazy football, but what a great way of putting it, Ed.

• 1:25:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:17Speaker 05

  I can tell you two have been doing this a while because you always choose the shortest path to anywhere.

• 1:25:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25:23Speaker 05

  Um, and so I was thinking, what do I want? What do I want? What do I need here?

• 1:25:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:28Speaker 05

  What do I, if I really wanted to like indulge myself, what do I deny myself the most?

• 1:25:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:34Speaker 05

  And I sort of thought about big fancy dessert. The honest truth is, I just want a full packet of McVitie's Dark Chocolate Digestives.

• 1:25:42Speaker 04

  What the hell?

• 1:25:44Speaker 05

  That's what I want.

• 1:25:45Speaker 04

  I thought we were heading somewhere really special.

• 1:25:48Speaker 05

  That is for me.

• 1:25:49Speaker 04

  I'm a sugar addict and I love it so much.

• 1:25:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, but he means he's an addict. He just wants as many of something as possible.

• 1:25:55Speaker 05

  But I also think a dark chocolate digestive from McVitie's is as good as any fancy dessert.

• 1:26:00Speaker 03

  Okay, that's weird.

• 1:26:01Speaker 05

  No, it's not weird. You're weird.

• 1:26:03Speaker 04

  Okay, look, mate.

• 1:26:04Speaker 05

  You shouldn't have given me that digestive before.

• 1:26:08Speaker 05

  I don't think it's weird. I think it's nice.

• 1:26:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:10Speaker 05

  I went to a nice French restaurant last week.

• 1:26:12Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:26:13Speaker 05

  French restaurant. Is that what I said?

• 1:26:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:15Speaker 03

  That's French for French restaurant.

• 1:26:16Speaker 05

  I went to a French restaurant last week and there was creme brulee ordered. I didn't order any because I tried to stay clear of sugar. But obviously people couldn't finish their creme brulee and I was like, I'll have a couple of bites.

• 1:26:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:25Speaker 05

  It's a nice, that's a fancy dessert.

• 1:26:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:28Speaker 04

  Nice, yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:28Speaker 05

  Lovely.

• 1:26:29Speaker 03

  And if you like sugar.

• 1:26:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:26:30Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 1:26:31Speaker 05

  But it's not, I was like, this isn't as good as a dark chocolate digestives.

• 1:26:34Speaker 03

  And did you tell the way to that?

• 1:26:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, I did. He did know what I was talking about.

• 1:26:39Speaker 05

  Où est le McVitie's?

• 1:26:41Speaker 04

  Very good.

• 1:26:41Speaker 05

  That's what he said. Où est le McVitie's?

• 1:26:43Speaker 03

  Digestif? Digestif?

• 1:26:45Speaker 05

  Digestive? Yeah.

• 1:26:47Speaker 04

  Very good.

• 1:26:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's good.

• 1:26:48Speaker 03

  Was that Ethiopian?

• 1:26:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, for the listeners, that wasn't Ethiopian.

• 1:26:53Speaker 05

  Just for the listeners. None of this has been.

• 1:26:56Speaker 05

  None of the, none of the voices you've heard have been Ethiopian. Do you know, I mean, I, I guess that is a weird choice, but I was like, I have to be honest with myself. I, once a year, I'll allow myself to have a packet of dark choc-

• 1:27:07Speaker 03

  A whole pack.

• 1:27:07Speaker 05

  A packet of dark chocolate digestives in my life, once a year.

• 1:27:10Speaker 04

  Why is it the dark choc- because like for me, I don't have anything against, I like a dark chocolate digestive, I'll eat it. But I, I would say for a sugar head, it's not even the best McVitie's digestive. I'd say you've got to get the caramel, the one with the layer of the caramel and the-

• 1:27:27Speaker 05

  I knew, I figured you were going there.

• 1:27:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:30Speaker 05

  But I suppose what I, I suppose what the dark chocolate digestive has, it does have nostalgic value for me because my grandma always used to eat them.

• 1:27:36Speaker 03

  The dark chocolate one?

• 1:27:37Speaker 05

  The dark chocolate digestive.

• 1:27:38Speaker 03

  The dark chocolate is not a choice because of your wife's veganism?

• 1:27:42Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:27:43Speaker 03

  You would have, you would buy those as a matter of course anyway, over the milk?

• 1:27:45Speaker 05

  I don't think they're vegan. I, I have a feeling digestives aren't vegan.

• 1:27:49Speaker 03

  How? Butter?

• 1:27:51Speaker 05

  Probably butter.

• 1:27:52Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:27:53Speaker 05

  That's what I think.

• 1:27:54Speaker 04

  Butter, a buttery biscuit?

• 1:27:56Speaker 05

  Well, it's not the most buttery biscuit, but it, hey.

• 1:27:59Speaker 03

  We, we're not allowed to say buttery biscuit anymore.

• 1:28:01Speaker 05

  Why not?

• 1:28:01Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:02Speaker 05

  Why aren't you allowed to say buttery biscuit?

• 1:28:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, not allowed to.

• 1:28:05Speaker 03

  You can probably say buttery biscuit, but don't add any other words to it.

• 1:28:07Speaker 05

  You can't say buttery biscuit?

• 1:28:09Speaker 03

  You can say buttery biscuit, but don't add another word to it.

• 1:28:11Speaker 05

  Wait a minute, why? What's happened here? Am I about to get kicked out?

• 1:28:16Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:28:17Speaker 05

  I know what you mean about, uh, the caramel ones.

• 1:28:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:21Speaker 05

  I just, I think a dark chocolate digestive, I guess there is a childhood warmth there. My grandma had them, I'd go, we'd go around her house.

• 1:28:29Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:28:29Speaker 05

  I'd be given a Mars bar, the adults would be sitting there eating dark chocolate digestives. And I'd been like, oh, that's what the grownups, that's what the grownups see.

• 1:28:37Speaker 04

  Oh, wow, they really tricked you with that?

• 1:28:40Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah, they really did.

• 1:28:41Speaker 04

  If you got a Mars bar, that's pretty lush.

• 1:28:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's lush.

• 1:28:44Speaker 04

  Yeah. And they've got dark chocolate digestives. And you're thinking, oh, I wish I had those.

• 1:28:48Speaker 05

  They didn't trick me, it's my own insecurities were, were obvious from a very young age.

• 1:28:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:54Speaker 05

  Very young age.

• 1:28:54Speaker 03

  They could have tricked you more, you could have looked over and they're dipping like carrots in their tea and stuff.

• 1:28:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, carrots in the hummus, that's where that comes from.

• 1:29:00Speaker 05

  I mean, I came from a very tricky family. It was like jackass. My god. Punching each other in the face.

• 1:29:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, throwing custard down their pants.

• 1:29:09Speaker 03

  Kicking each other in the nuts and stuff.

• 1:29:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was horrible.

• 1:29:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, hence the Barocca up the butt.

• 1:29:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, hence that.

• 1:29:13Speaker 04

  Which was a story you told from your childhood earlier.

• 1:29:16Speaker 05

  One of my favourite childhood anecdotes.

• 1:29:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:18Speaker 05

  Um.

• 1:29:19Speaker 03

  Are you dipping it in, these biscuits in anything, or are you just power? How quickly could you power through a whole packet of dark chocolate digestives, do you think?

• 1:29:28Speaker 04

  How many, how many are in a packet?

• 1:29:29Speaker 05

  Wouldn't know.

• 1:29:30Speaker 04

  Guess, but Googling it.

• 1:29:33Speaker 05

  Twenty?

• 1:29:34Speaker 03

  I'd say it's between. It does feel high, but I'd say maybe, I'd say between fifteen and twenty.

• 1:29:39Speaker 05

  I reckon, genuinely, if more than half the packet is still there by the time I've walked through my front door, I've done really well.

• 1:29:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:48Speaker 04

  So you're in this little move as well?

• 1:29:50Speaker 05

  I'm on the move.

• 1:29:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:51Speaker 04

  Again.

• 1:29:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm on the run.

• 1:29:52Speaker 03

  And you're taking bites?

• 1:29:53Speaker 05

  You talk about being on the run, I'm on the run.

• 1:29:54Speaker 03

  Are you taking bites, or are you just posting in a whole biscuit like a season?

• 1:29:57Speaker 05

  Posting?

• 1:29:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:58Speaker 05

  No, I'm, I'll take, I'll take a bite, I'll tip it in some tea, I'll have a cup of tea.

• 1:30:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:02Speaker 05

  I'll have some milk in the tea.

• 1:30:04Speaker 03

  Lovely.

• 1:30:04Speaker 05

  Dip them in, love that feeling. Living room.

• 1:30:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30:08Speaker 05

  Warmth, cosy, winter again, I really associate a lot of this stuff with like, the cold, I guess, cold, dark childhoods.

• 1:30:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:16Speaker 05

  Like, British winter months.

• 1:30:18Speaker 04

  Uh-huh.

• 1:30:19Speaker 05

  Um, I love it, and I do, I do think for a mass-produced product, it's pretty artisanal. I think if the chocolate digestive did not exist, did not exist.

• 1:30:29Speaker 04

  Uh-huh.

• 1:30:29Speaker 05

  And some, someone invented it, like a fancy, name a good chef, you know good chefs, right? Harry Ramsden, is he a good chef?

• 1:30:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, the best.

• 1:30:40Speaker 05

  If Harry Ramsden invented it.

• 1:30:41Speaker 03

  The best chef in the world.

• 1:30:42Speaker 05

  We'd be going crazy.

• 1:30:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:44Speaker 05

  They'd be like, how do we make the public, how do we make this more accessible to the public?

• 1:30:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30:49Speaker 05

  I don't think we know what we've got with these things.

• 1:30:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30:52Speaker 03

  I prefer a hobnob.

• 1:30:53Speaker 05

  Yes, interview's over.

• 1:30:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:56Speaker 05

  Is it, yeah, a chocolate hobnob or a regular hobnob?

• 1:30:58Speaker 03

  Chocolate hobnob.

• 1:30:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm over them.

• 1:31:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm staying clear of hobnobs.

• 1:31:01Speaker 03

  Why?

• 1:31:02Speaker 04

  I don't like the texture. It's all like, I feel like someone's like, taken all the sweepings from like a hamster hutch or something and made it into a biscuit.

• 1:31:12Speaker 03

  I think you've been pranked.

• 1:31:14Speaker 04

  I probably have, by the jackass crew.

• 1:31:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:31:16Speaker 05

  The McLoughlin family.

• 1:31:17Speaker 04

  The McLoughlin family, jackass.

• 1:31:19Speaker 03

  They made you eat a hamster cage.

• 1:31:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. How many biscuits we talking? This is a 260 gram packet, by the way.

• 1:31:24Speaker 05

  That's always how I judge the packets, by the way.

• 1:31:26Speaker 04

  16 biscuits, you were right between 15 and 20.

• 1:31:29Speaker 03

  15 and 20.

• 1:31:30Speaker 05

  Got it there, got it there.

• 1:31:31Speaker 03

  So you ate on the way home and then ate when you get back in?

• 1:31:33Speaker 05

  Surely I don't eat eight on the way home. But do I?

• 1:31:36Speaker 04

  How far away is the shop?

• 1:31:38Speaker 05

  Five minutes to Co-op.

• 1:31:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:40Speaker 05

  Five minutes.

• 1:31:41Speaker 03

  You're eating.

• 1:31:41Speaker 05

  Maybe less.

• 1:31:42Speaker 03

  Surely it's two maximum on the way home, isn't it?

• 1:31:45Speaker 04

  You're not getting, you're not getting anywhere near eight.

• 1:31:47Speaker 05

  I've waited 12 months for this. Do you know what I'm saying?

• 1:31:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:51Speaker 05

  I've waited 12 months.

• 1:31:52Speaker 03

  I love that you do, all of the, every course is, you know how many times you'll have it throughout the year.

• 1:31:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:58Speaker 05

  Because I have, you have to be.

• 1:31:59Speaker 03

  Once or twice a month is a treat.

• 1:32:00Speaker 04

  We've never had a guest on who knows exactly how many times they have each course.

• 1:32:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:04Speaker 05

  Is that true?

• 1:32:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:05Speaker 05

  Well, you're welcome.

• 1:32:06Speaker 03

  Well, unless they pick, unless they pick Christmas dinner.

• 1:32:08Speaker 04

  I have this twice a month and I have this once a year.

• 1:32:12Speaker 05

  I probably do have it, well, once a year I'll allow myself to do it. Maybe first of December.

• 1:32:16Speaker 04

  And you'll have the whole pack. What if, what if you get home?

• 1:32:20Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 1:32:20Speaker 04

  You've had eight on the way home.

• 1:32:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:32:22Speaker 04

  You step in your door and your wife goes, I can't have one of them. So now you're not, you're not gonna have the whole pack if you give that.

• 1:32:28Speaker 05

  I mean, I know, I think it's more the, it's more having in the pack in my hands is the feeling. I'm a generous guy. I'm happy to share them around.

• 1:32:37Speaker 04

  Hmm, yeah.

• 1:32:38Speaker 05

  I'm not a, you know, I'm not Scrooge McBiscuit.

• 1:32:41Speaker 04

  What if you walk in and there's eight people?

• 1:32:42Speaker 03

  You're Sean McTalks.

• 1:32:43Speaker 05

  I'm Sean McTalks, I'm not Scrooge McBiscuit.

• 1:32:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, that'd be stupid, actually. Scrooge McBiscuit.

• 1:32:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, that'd be really stupid.

• 1:32:49Speaker 04

  What if you change your talk show name to Scrooge McBiscuit? Just do it.

• 1:32:54Speaker 05

  Sales up.

• 1:32:54Speaker 04

  It's not gone up, it's not gone on the internet yet. You can still change it to Scrooge McBistit if you want.

• 1:33:00Speaker 05

  Increase in viewers, decrease in morale. That's what I would say.

• 1:33:03Speaker 04

  But you know what Scrooge McDuck did?

• 1:33:06Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:33:07Speaker 04

  He swam around in a bath of money. Yep. Would you have a bath of biscuits? Yeah.

• 1:33:11Speaker 05

  Are you, are you sponsored by like a bath company?

• 1:33:15Speaker 04

  Yeah. Get on that, Benito. Get on that.

• 1:33:17Speaker 05

  Uh, I would have a bath of biscuits, but only because of the biscuits. And I think actually my naked body being in contact with the biscuits would probably jeopardise them.

• 1:33:27Speaker 04

  It depends if you get in the empty bath first and they poured the biscuits in, or whether they poured a layer of biscuits in.

• 1:33:33Speaker 05

  The idea of being naked in a bath and then going, right, you can pour the biscuits on me now.

• 1:33:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:33:39Speaker 05

  Feels like, and not even for charity, like what a sad day.

• 1:33:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:33:44Speaker 05

  What a sad life.

• 1:33:45Speaker 04

  I don't want it to be digestive, so I think I'd take custard creams over that because they're smaller.

• 1:33:49Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 1:33:49Speaker 04

  Um, so I think they'd cover you with like a bit more, like they wouldn't just like sit on top of you as much.

• 1:33:55Speaker 05

  There's more dignity to a, to a bath of custard creams than a bath of chocolate digestives.

• 1:33:59Speaker 04

  I think people can see through the digestives a bit more because of how they're falling on you.

• 1:34:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:02Speaker 04

  And there's holes in them. There's holes in them as well. Well, they're little holes.

• 1:34:05Speaker 05

  Are there? Holes in a chocolate digestive?

• 1:34:07Speaker 04

  Only little, I mean, the worst would be party rings. What, what, what if one just slotted over your boy perfectly? Yeah, rename them glory holes.

• 1:34:17Speaker 05

  Doesn't bear thinking about.

• 1:34:20Speaker 04

  Um, I'm gonna read your menu back to you now and see how you feel about it. Benito, I didn't like that joke. No? Well, that's. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not up his street humour wise. Yeah, well, we never have been. And the poor guy absolutely devastated that this took off. Now we've got him in golden handcuffs. He can't leave. He can't leave. You're in golden handcuffs, mate.

• 1:34:38Speaker 05

  There's a, uh, there's a, there's a space going at the Sean McTalk show. I'll tell you that. There's more than one space.

• 1:34:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, that'd be, that'd be. You're leaving.

• 1:34:47Speaker 05

  More than one space.

• 1:34:48Speaker 04

  There's hosts, do you need a host?

• 1:34:50Speaker 05

  Need a psychic, need a host, need a guest.

• 1:34:52Speaker 04

  What a surprise for your wife when she opens the boiling cupboard and Benito's in there. Yeah. Boiling cupboard.

• 1:34:58Speaker 05

  Boiling cupboard.

• 1:35:00Speaker 04

  He's not a plumber, to be fair to him. Air and cupboard?

• 1:35:04Speaker 05

  It's just a cupboard.

• 1:35:04Speaker 04

  Boiler cupboard. The boiler cupboard.

• 1:35:06Speaker 05

  We have a boiling cup. We always keep one cupboard boiling in our house.

• 1:35:10Speaker 04

  That's what I want Benito.

• 1:35:11Speaker 05

  We don't have a sauna, we just have loads of electric radiators just going in there.

• 1:35:16Speaker 03

  I'd love it if you went to a spa and they went, would you like to step into the boiling cup?

• 1:35:19Speaker 05

  Well, it is a boiling cupboard.

• 1:35:20Speaker 03

  Sorry, it's my first day, I don't know the names.

• 1:35:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, no one's explained any of these things to me.

• 1:35:26Speaker 04

  Still water.

• 1:35:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:35:27Speaker 04

  You would like Baz Lammer with supermarket hummus, starter avocado omelette and Moroccan coffee from La La Cafe. Main course Ethiopian veggie platter from Adams, side bag of Chippy Shop chips. You eat it on the go, drink tiny bottle of red wine on a flight.

• 1:35:47Speaker 03

  Or two.

• 1:35:47Speaker 04

  Or two, if they will allow you. Dessert, a full pack of dark chocolate Moby's Digestives.

• 1:35:56Speaker 05

  You know, it may not be the most expansive or cultured list, but I'm very happy with that. And I think that would be a nice, I think most people would enjoy that.

• 1:36:03Speaker 03

  I think, I think you should be proud of that menu. I think there's some delicious things on there and it told us a lot, every course told us a little bit about your life.

• 1:36:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:36:12Speaker 05

  Thank you, Ed.

• 1:36:13Speaker 03

  And that's what this podcast's all about.

• 1:36:14Speaker 04

  I think anyone, you know, who's new to the world of Sean McLoughlin knows exactly who you are now.

• 1:36:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:36:20Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 1:36:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think it's very clear.

• 1:36:23Speaker 05

  That's really good to know, man.

• 1:36:24Speaker 03

  If you want to find out more, you should go and see Sean do White Elephant.

• 1:36:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:36:27Speaker 03

  Or watch the Sean McTalk Show, I mean.

• 1:36:30Speaker 05

  When you say do White Elephant, that's the name of the show. That's not like, it's not what I, it's not, we're not doing heroin. I'm doing a show, the show's called.

• 1:36:36Speaker 03

  Is that a heroin thing?

• 1:36:37Speaker 05

  No, I don't know, but do White Elephant feels weird.

• 1:36:40Speaker 03

  Do his show White Elephant.

• 1:36:41Speaker 05

  My show is called White Elephant.

• 1:36:43Speaker 03

  I was trying to plug it, man.

• 1:36:44Speaker 05

  I appreciate it.

• 1:36:44Speaker 03

  It's quite aggressive.

• 1:36:45Speaker 04

  Just trying to help you.

• 1:36:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:36:47Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:36:47Speaker 03

  And I'd say watch the Sean McTalk Show, but there's absolutely no way it's ever making it online.

• 1:36:51Speaker 04

  Not making it online, and let's face it, if it does, we're not going to point you in that direction.

• 1:36:55Speaker 05

  When does this, when does the recording start?

• 1:36:58Speaker 03

  Thanks for coming in, Sean.

• 1:37:00Speaker 05

  Thanks. Thanks, guys.

• 1:37:06Speaker 03

  Loved that, James. What a chat with Shaun.

• 1:37:09Speaker 04

  Everything I hoped it would be.

• 1:37:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:37:10Speaker 04

  Quite frankly, although I would have also liked him to pick elephants so we could kick him out the dream mess down.

• 1:37:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:15Speaker 04

  But that didn't happen. But other than that, everything I hoped to cut. I mean, my favourite bit, I'm probably going to get the wording wrong, but was like, um, if that, if that makes you feel good. I said that to you?

• 1:37:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:37:29Speaker 03

  You like anyone being short or annoyed with me?

• 1:37:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:37:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:33Speaker 03

  As in, being short with me in conversation, as in you don't love anyone being short and people who are annoyed with me?

• 1:37:40Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:37:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:37:41Speaker 04

  But like, I like the kind of like,

• 1:37:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:43Speaker 04

  Somehow you're the one who's got under their skin.

• 1:37:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You love that.

• 1:37:47Speaker 04

  Really makes me laugh.

• 1:37:48Speaker 03

  Because it's, it shouldn't happen because you're the annoying one.

• 1:37:50Speaker 04

  I'm actively trying to.

• 1:37:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:53Speaker 04

  So the fact that you've kind of like walked into it somehow is really fun. And it not, normally happens with other comics because then you are actively trying to as well.

• 1:38:02Speaker 03

  Sure. If I know them, I can't wait.

• 1:38:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:38:05Speaker 03

  Can't wait to annoy them. Uh, go and see Shaun on tour doing his show White Elephant, Shaun McLachlan Comedy dot com for tickets.

• 1:38:12Speaker 04

  And of course, sorry, uh, Ed was just saying hello to Bonito because he, Bonito was swatted a fly around his head and looked like he was waving. Um, and, uh, I've obviously watched Shaun McTalk Show on YouTube.

• 1:38:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, Shaun McTalk Show, that's what it's called.

• 1:38:27Speaker 04

  That's what it's called. We learned the name.

• 1:38:28Speaker 03

  It was worth the reveal on air.

• 1:38:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can see why he didn't want to tell us over text.

• 1:38:32Speaker 03

  Yeah. We're assuming Shaun McTalk Show is now on YouTube. If it's not,

• 1:38:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, who knows?

• 1:38:37Speaker 03

  It's gone very wrong.

• 1:38:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. But you should demand it.

• 1:38:39Speaker 03

  Shaun's kicked him out.

• 1:38:40Speaker 04

  But you should, don't like, demand it from Shaun, demand it from YouTube.

• 1:38:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:38:44Speaker 04

  That, where's Shaun McTalk Show? We thought this was coming out.

• 1:38:47Speaker 03

  That's all you need to say.

• 1:38:48Speaker 04

  Yeah. And hello Shaun, if you're, if you're listening as well.

• 1:38:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, hello Shaun. You didn't say elephant. Thanks Shaun.

• 1:38:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, thanks Shaun.

• 1:38:55Speaker 03

  That's that then.

• 1:38:56Speaker 04

  I guess, uh, well Guy Bonito's got to open the door, get a fly out the room.

• 1:38:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39:00Speaker 04

  Take care of yourselves.

• 1:39:01Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 1:39:16Speaker 01

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• 1:40:13Speaker 02

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