Kaya Scodelario

This week the Dream Restaurant welcomes British-Brazilian actor Kaya Scodelario – star of ‘The Maze Runner’ films, ‘Skins’ and Netflix’s ‘The Gentleman’. Kaya Scodelario stars in Guy Ritcher’s ‘The Gentlemen’, and series 2 comes to Netflix on 3 September. Watch series one now https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81437051. Follow Kaya on Instagram @kayascods https://www.instagram.com/kayascods/ Watch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast. Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcast https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast Follow Off Menu on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/offmenuofficial and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@offmenuofficial: @offmenuofficial. And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk https://www.offmenupodcast.co.uk/ for a list of restaurants recommended on the show. Ed Gamble is on tour in 2027 with ‘Fresh Hell’. For dates and tickets go to edgamble.co.uk https://edgamble.co.uk/ Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster. Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Video production by Ben Williams and Megan McCarthy for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Artwork by Paul Gilbey https://www.instagram.com/pushgilbey/ (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hello, it's Ed here from the Off Menu podcast that you are listening to right now. You'll know that I'm doing a brand new stand-up comedy show on tour next year, Fresh Hell. And we are delighted to announce that we are doing two more shows at the London Palladium, Friday the 19th of March, Saturday the 20th of March. You've got to come to these shows, they're going to be great, they're on sale now. Edgamble.co.uk for ticket details.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Guessing is for game shows, not your business. Workday is the enterprise AI platform for HR, finance and IT. With AI grounded in your context to get work done and done right. It's a new workday.

• 0:48Speaker 00

  Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, cracking the walnut of conversation.

• 0:52James Acaster?

  Just a walnut?

• 0:53Speaker 00

  It's just a walnut, and there's nothing wrong with simple, simple flavours.

• 0:55James Acaster?

  That's Ed Gamble, my name is James Acaster, Gamble, we own a dream restaurant. Every single week we invite a guest, ask them their favourite ever start, main course, dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is...

• 1:06Speaker 00

  Kaya Scodelario! A wonderful actor, James. Skins, of course, is where many people discovered her talents. The Maze Runner, a huge movie series, and now Kaya is in, she's done other things as well. But now Kaya is in The Gentleman, the Guy Ritchie Netflix TV series. Season two is about to start.

• 1:28James Acaster?

  Yeah, very excited to talk to Kaya about that. And I don't know what food Kaya likes, so this is going to be all new. I haven't heard Kaya talk about food before.

• 1:38Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:39James Acaster?

  So this is, this is a new chapter in my life.

• 1:41Speaker 00

  That's true of a lot of our guests, I guess.

• 1:43James Acaster?

  No.

• 1:44Speaker 00

  Okay. The Gentleman, season two launches 3rd of September on Netflix, heard of it? Boom, to doom.

• 1:53James Acaster?

  Oh yeah, more of a doom.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  Very excited to have Kaya on the pod and have a chat to her about The Gentleman, have a chat to her about food, her dream meal, et cetera. But of course, if she says a secret ingredient that we have pre-agreed upon, she will be removed from the restaurant, which is, which is going to be dangerous because she hangs out with some crazy characters in The Gentleman.

• 2:12James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, who might beat us up, I guess.

• 2:14Speaker 00

  Ray Winstone, Benny Jones, heard of him?

• 2:18James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 2:18Speaker 00

  Theo James, not a hard man, I guess, traditionally.

• 2:22James Acaster?

  He's pretty tough.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  He could probably, yeah.

• 2:24James Acaster?

  Beat us up.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  Oh, oh god, yeah.

• 2:27James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  But that is not my ranking system for hard men, whether they could beat us up or not. Because then I'd be going around pointing at little babies and being like, that's a hard man.

• 2:36James Acaster?

  And this week, the secret ingredient is cod skin.

• 2:41Speaker 00

  Cod skin. This is a combination between my idea and your idea.

• 2:46James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 2:47Speaker 00

  Scott Scodelario, cod.

• 2:49James Acaster?

  Cod, that's my idea.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, and Skins, because Kaya was in Skins.

• 2:53James Acaster?

  Cod skin. We tried to figure out a way of getting maize in there because of the Maze Runner.

• 2:57Speaker 00

  And that was Benito's idea.

• 2:58James Acaster?

  That was Benito's idea.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  He said corn on the cob.

• 3:00James Acaster?

  As always, didn't really work.

• 3:01Speaker 00

  He said corn on the cob because of the Maze Runner, but I thought he meant corn on the cob because of, he thought she was called Kaya Scodelario.

• 3:08James Acaster?

  Oh, he thought it was Scodelario?

• 3:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, he thought it was Scodelario.

• 3:11James Acaster?

  Oh, that's embarrassing.

• 3:12Speaker 00

  But you've been practicing Kaya's name because you've got to shout it and you're really worried about getting the name wrong.

• 3:16James Acaster?

  Yeah, I'm always worried about getting people's names wrong on this podcast. Sometimes it's the first time I've said that name.

• 3:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:21James Acaster?

  I've never said it out loud before and I practise them all day. I have been practising Kaya's name all day.

• 3:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:27James Acaster?

  So I really hope I get it right.

• 3:28Speaker 00

  Scodelario.

• 3:29James Acaster?

  Scodelario.

• 3:30Speaker 00

  Pretty good. Make sure you watch The Gentleman, series two, and come see me on tour at gamble.co.uk, Fresh Hell, January 2027, it all starts. But now, this is the Off Menu menu of Kaya Scodelario. Oh, James.

• 3:54Speaker 00

  Welcome, Kaya, to the dream restaurant.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 3:57James Acaster?

  Welcome, Kaya Scodelario, to the dream restaurant, but it's been a year for some time.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't know this was going to be a shouty, I love it.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  Well, I did see it in your eyes there when I said welcome quite loudly.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  I like it, I'm awake.

• 4:09James Acaster?

  Beforehand, Kaya, you did say to us, I haven't listened to this yet.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  No.

• 4:13James Acaster?

  I just want to, I just want to react in the moment and I thought, oh, I'm going to shout.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  Okay, good.

• 4:19Speaker 00

  And I didn't not shout.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  No.

• 4:21Speaker 00

  And that was quite loud for me.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Very on.

• 4:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, very on, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm aware it's quite different from us just having a normal chat before we start recording.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  I like it.

• 4:29Speaker 00

  And suddenly we're on.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're on.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  But we're in now, it's happening.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm going to switch on soon.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  My match is kicking in any moment.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  Do you like that when you go to a restaurant?

• 4:37James Acaster?

  Scodelario all day.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Well done, perfect.

• 4:39Speaker 00

  He's been practiced.

• 4:40James Acaster?

  All day, I've been saying Scodelario all day.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  It's actually been...

• 4:43James Acaster?

  I watched a video of you saying it.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  It's phonetic, it's, you like say it how you...

• 4:47James Acaster?

  It's just phonetic, thank god.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Scodelario, it's very easy, but people get scared because there's lots of vowels in there.

• 4:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, once you see all the vowels and all the letters lined up, my brain goes, don't read that.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:56Speaker 00

  You might not have to say it out loud.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's easy, it's fine.

• 4:59Speaker 00

  Kaya's a good one, though.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Kaya's an easy one.

• 5:01Speaker 00

  But it lulls you into a false sense of security.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  Do you think it's easy though, because I get called Kaya 90% of the time? Every supply teacher I ever had called me Kaya and the whole class would laugh.

• 5:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:11Speaker 03

  There's my trauma, talk about trauma.

• 5:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's that sort of podcast, it's that sort of, it's good that you haven't listened to it because this podcast's mainly about trauma.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  Okay, great.

• 5:19James Acaster?

  Mainly about trauma.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  I haven't done therapy for ages, I need this, let's go.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:23James Acaster?

  We're perfect, that should be how therapy is, actually.

• 5:25Speaker 00

  What?

• 5:26James Acaster?

  Two guys.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  Podcast.

• 5:27James Acaster?

  You should speak to two guys, so that you know...

• 5:30Speaker 03

  Two straight white men and figure all your problems out.

• 5:33James Acaster?

  Always.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:33James Acaster?

  And then, you know, I can't believe you guessed we were straight. Um, and it needs to, because then you get two opinions, right?

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:42James Acaster?

  Because like, you're always, you're one therapist, you're like, I don't know. You know, mate, no, but it could cost you so much more to get another one. I'd rather have a tag team.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:53James Acaster?

  And I can say something and watch them disagree, something like that.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  I like that, yeah.

• 5:55James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  To be fair, my last therapist actually got fired because he was sleeping with his clients. So, um, can't trust them all.

• 6:04James Acaster?

  Pretty cool.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  The one on Skins, you mean?

• 6:06Speaker 03

  What?

• 6:09James Acaster?

  Well, this therapist does not sound like a gentleman, but you know what?

• 6:12Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 6:14James Acaster?

  Very exciting, series two?

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 6:16James Acaster?

  Season two for American listeners.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. I still call it a series.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  I'd say series two.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  I think you've got to, you've got to stay true.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Everyone's calling it G2, and I don't like that because that reminds me of the security guards. Do you remember that? G4, there was the jodgy security guards.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, I do remember that, that rings a bell.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, G2 isn't as good.

• 6:33Speaker 00

  But G2, as in like Gentleman two?

• 6:35Speaker 03

  Gentleman two.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, I quite like that though, is it on people's like jackets and stuff?

• 6:38Speaker 03

  G2, it's on like paperwork.

• 6:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  It's not as exciting.

• 6:42Speaker 00

  No, it's not as exciting.

• 6:43James Acaster?

  So non-set, but of G2.

• 6:45Speaker 00

  Tell us about G2, exciting to be back.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  I'm really excited to be back, it's a very fun show to shoot. And we didn't know what it was going to be the first year. We had no idea it was going to be such a good success. And to have the privilege to come back to a character that you love and understand and have fun with is always wonderful. And it helps that I get on with all the cast and all the creative team. So, yeah, I think any opportunity you have to go back on a set that you just know you can get straight back into it, the stories this year are a lot bigger, a lot broader, it's a little bit darker, a little bit more intense. But still, the fun silliness that people really enjoyed from the first season. And it shoots here in London most of the time, which is a joy. I spent a lot of my career filming in the arsehole end of Canada somewhere

• 7:32Speaker 03

  and never seeing my friends or going to parties and stuff. And now I get to be home, which is lovely.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  And, yeah, we go between shooting in boxing gyms to big, massive stately manors and everything in between, it's a lot of fun.

• 7:46James Acaster?

  If Guy Ritchie was to make another TV series out of one of his films and cast you in it, what would you hope, what film would you hope it was?

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Hmm, well, let's not talk about Aladdin.

• 7:59James Acaster?

  Hey, I'll get cast in that, it's a genie. Yes, please.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  You'd make an excellent genie.

• 8:04James Acaster?

  Thank you, I think I would actually.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  Very, very good genie.

• 8:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:07James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Would you go blue or no?

• 8:11James Acaster?

  Depends what you mean.

• 8:13James Acaster?

  I'd go blue, I think, although it wasn't, do people not like, people didn't like the blue genie, did they?

• 8:18Speaker 03

  They didn't.

• 8:18Speaker 00

  Blue genie, like real life blue guy, to me, doesn't make sense.

• 8:23James Acaster?

  Yeah, sure.

• 8:24Speaker 00

  It should be the cartoon, great. Yeah, yeah, but it just makes me think of Blue Man Group or Tobias Fiunka, so.

• 8:28James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  You could do just blue hair.

• 8:31Speaker 00

  Blue hair is nice, yeah.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  That's cool.

• 8:33James Acaster?

  Like a...

• 8:34Speaker 00

  Like a Just Stop Oil protester.

• 8:36James Acaster?

  Yeah, I was going to say a Facebook whistleblower, but yes, I think similar vibes. I think he had pink hair, to be honest.

• 8:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  I think an environmentally friendly genie is a really good idea.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  It's great idea.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  So like every wish that someone makes, like, I can't do that.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Carbon footprint is too big.

• 8:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, here's the impact on the environment.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  I'm not flying you to the Maldives, what are you talking about?

• 8:55James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  Plant a tree.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:57James Acaster?

  That's nice.

• 8:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, good guy. I think you'd be good at that.

• 9:00James Acaster?

  Yeah, so, so this has turned into who I'm playing. So I'm gonna be the genie in the Aladdin series directed by Guy Ritchie. It's a pleasure.

• 9:07Speaker 03

  I honestly can't imagine playing anyone but Susie in the Guy universe. I'm really, really proud of it. I think.

• 9:14James Acaster?

  She's a badass.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  She's one of the few kind of front centre female characters that's come out of his universe. And yeah, I go to bat for her. She's my girl.

• 9:23James Acaster?

  Yeah, that's true, isn't it? Yeah. Did you have a conversation with him about that at all?

• 9:27Speaker 03

  When, so I auditioned, like, you know, as everyone does, and it was quite a long audition process. And it got to a point where I sort of said, let me just talk to him and explain that I know who this character is. I know what she is and I can heal her, I can feel her.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  And as the process kind of got closer towards me getting it, I sort of took a step back and said, I want to talk to the creative team and make sure. Cause you're only ever sent the first episode for a TV show and then anything could happen, right? And I know it's The Gentleman, I knew that Theo's character was the lead. But I wanted to make sure she wasn't gonna just drift into the background. I wanted her to make her mark one way or another. So I had a very frank conversation with the creative team and they reassured me that, you know, this is something that Guy actively wants to do this time. Is to give this character a level of depth and a level of story and a level of progression through the seasons that he hasn't done before. So I was really reassured by that because that's always important to me. I've said it before, but I've never met a woman that isn't complicated.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  So I've never wanted to play a non-complicated character. We are messy, we are funny, we are silly, we are smelly, we are gorgeous, all of these things in one. And so if I read a female character that is just one thing, I just, I can't relate to that. I've never met a woman that's just one thing. And I wanted to make sure that Susie had those layers to her. Like, she's definitely a heightened character. She doesn't kind of live in our universe, maybe. And we kind of see this stoicness to her for a long time. But I wanted to make sure we have the moments where she's vulnerable and she breaks and she's a bit all over the place. And we've definitely done that a lot more with season two. We may or may not see her fall in love and what that looks like for her, which is quite unique because she's such a boss.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  And yeah, so, so I kind of did insist as much as I can on making sure that she would be interesting. And I find her very interesting.

• 11:19James Acaster?

  It must be reassuring as well because when you have that conversation with the team and they say, yep, don't worry, that's definitely gonna be the case. But in the back of your mind on those things, I mean, I'm always.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  You're full of shit.

• 11:28James Acaster?

  I'm thinking, this could be a trick.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  Hollywood, baby. They lie.

• 11:32James Acaster?

  They came through.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  They did come through. I did insist on it, not to toot my own horn, but I'm very, I tried to be very involved with the creative team, with the writers beforehand and say, let's do something fun. Like, it's okay if you don't know what, let's figure it out together. So yeah, I kind of, I went for bat for her the whole way through.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  I'd have loved to have been in the meeting where you told Guy Ritchie that women can be smelly.

• 11:55James Acaster?

  That's probably what got you the job, yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  I proved it to him too. I was like, listen, come over and have a.

• 12:00James Acaster?

  Over his laptop, she stinks.

• 12:02Speaker 00

  Yeah. No, don't get focused on that guy.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  We never see her with George.

• 12:08James Acaster?

  So you must have ideas for where you'd like the character to go already.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:13James Acaster?

  And, I mean, you don't even know yet if that, you know, pairs up with other people's ideas or like where you're gonna land on it.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  I'm not one of those actors that thinks they're a writer. I fully respect the writing team and I understand there's a process to it. I get a bit annoyed when actors are very protective of their characters because again, I don't wanna play a character that I'm completely protective of or that I think is only good. That's not realistic. I like the messy sides of life. I like the edges around people. So I'm not pretending like I plan what she does at all. Don't fire me writers. I really agree. If they kill me off like Joey in Friends in the elevator shaft.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  But no, so I'm, you know, they know me now, so they bring a bit of me into her as well, which is always quite fun. But yeah, they have their job, I have mine.

• 13:03James Acaster?

  We're gonna get into your dream menu in a minute. Are you much of a foodie?

• 13:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, but it's a bit wanky to say that now, isn't it?

• 13:09Speaker 00

  No, not on this podcast.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  You don't think calling yourself a foodie has become a bit of a?

• 13:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I just feel like on this podcast, we talk about the joy of food, we enjoy it. And I think foodie is still positive within this world.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  This is a safe place.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  This is a safe place. Yeah, yeah.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  I like that. I definitely consider myself a foodie. I grew up, my mum's Brazilian and I ate proper meals, home cooked every single night. We grew up poor as hell, but she always made food from scratch. And whenever I'd go for sleepovers at the English kids' houses and I'd get like fish fingers and chips at 5pm, I'd cry. Cause I'd be so hungry. Cause also for some reason in my house, we didn't eat till nine every night. But yeah, I love, I adore food. I've never been restrictive with food. I, yeah, come on, let's go.

• 13:54James Acaster?

  Always start with still or sparkling water.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  Sparkling. Does that make me sound like a twat?

• 14:00James Acaster?

  You're very worried about sounding like a twat.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  So I wanna come off like a twat. No, I like sparkling and I discovered it on aeroplanes because I would always wanna have a drink on a plane. And then was like, listen, you can't do that every time when you're travelling for work. So I was like, all right, instead of a beer, what can I have? This kind of looks like a beer, let me try that. And now I absolutely love a sparkling water. No flavours, don't be putting strawberry in it or, or, oh, what are those new canned things? Those ones?

• 14:29James Acaster?

  Yeah, the Ben's got. Benito is drinking.

• 14:31Speaker 00

  Dash.

• 14:32James Acaster?

  A can of dash.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  That's actually quite, we have those on set a lot. Those are quite nice.

• 14:36Speaker 00

  I mean, they're called dash because they put so little flavour in them though.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:39Speaker 00

  All of these things, it's just like, I just want a full.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  Just put that together.

• 14:45James Acaster?

  Ed's so smart.

• 14:48Speaker 00

  I'm the smart one on the pod.

• 14:49James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 14:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  But yeah, a proper big sized bottle of sparkling water at dinner. I don't think, what's the point of the little guy? That's too small.

• 14:57James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  So give me a big bottle of sparkling water. And my kids drink it and they call it bubble water, which I think is quite cute.

• 15:02James Acaster?

  Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, so.

• 15:04Speaker 00

  It's also a better description.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Bubble water, yeah.

• 15:06Speaker 00

  And sparkling water.

• 15:07James Acaster?

  It's not sparkling.

• 15:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  We should bring out a brand of sparkling water that comes with a sparkler.

• 15:12James Acaster?

  Like a bonfire night kind of thing. People can drink in the remembrance of the time. No, it's good. No, no, no, listen, don't shoot this idea down.

• 15:23Speaker 00

  This is good. This is, this is an open forum. It's a safe space. Any business ideas you've got, you bring them out, okay?

• 15:29James Acaster?

  Just gotta taste what it's like to be one of your writers on The Gentleman. Coming to Netflix, coming to Netflix soon, series two. Now, you weren't right to shoot that idea down. I took it in a pretty bad direction.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Do you know what? I'm also completely fine with tap water though. I think London tap water is quite nice. I'm happy with that.

• 15:46Speaker 00

  So do I. Yeah, but there's a lot of chat about, oh, tap water's better in other places, but there's nothing, it's nothing wrong with London tap water.

• 15:53James Acaster?

  Do you grow up in London? Yeah, see, that's why you both like London tap water. Absolutely gross.

• 15:59Speaker 00

  What's gross about it?

• 16:00James Acaster?

  I just, you may as well drink out the toilet, mate.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  Where are you from?

• 16:02James Acaster?

  Kettering, Northamptonshire. And even that.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  What is that? That's a posh.

• 16:05James Acaster?

  Listen, oh, here we go. No, it's not a posh place. London is a lot posher than Kettering.

• 16:11Speaker 00

  I'm gonna have to be on Jones's side. No, it's not a posh place.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  Okay, it sounds quite posh.

• 16:15James Acaster?

  No, it's a small market town.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Okay, so you say market town, that sounds fancied to me.

• 16:19James Acaster?

  Yeah, I'm trying to speak your language so that you understand what it is. Yeah, it's just in the Midlands.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  Okay, Midlands?

• 16:27James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah. That's where it is. Yeah, yeah.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  The middle bit.

• 16:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. Nice water.

• 16:31James Acaster?

  Yeah, the middle bit. It's nicer water than here, but it's not as nice as up north.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  Is that because of the Peak District? Is that in the Midlands?

• 16:37James Acaster?

  We're not near the Peak District, no. But like, I'd say like, the best water is like, yeah, it's around that area or.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  I did go to Lake District once and had tap water there in the caravan and it was amazing.

• 16:49James Acaster?

  Exceptional.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  It was exceptional. We took, we've got a litre bottle of Evian, chucked it out, filled it up with the tap water and took it back to London.

• 16:56James Acaster?

  That's good stuff, you see.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  That's good stuff.

• 16:57James Acaster?

  I mean, that's a nice thing to do. Take it home.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  It was really good water.

• 17:01James Acaster?

  You don't even need to drink it, you can just have it on display.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  This is Lake District water.

• 17:05James Acaster?

  Yeah, they can see through it.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  Londoners come, taste the outside world.

• 17:10James Acaster?

  There's no bits floating in it.

• 17:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:12James Acaster?

  From the tap.

• 17:13Speaker 00

  There bits in your water?

• 17:14James Acaster?

  Huh?

• 17:15Speaker 00

  There bits in your.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  It sounds like a plumbing issue.

• 17:16James Acaster?

  London water sometimes is like a, I saw an American comic talk about how it's just like pouring a snow globe into your glass.

• 17:23Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 17:24James Acaster?

  That's what I said.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  Thanks for that. Ruined it for me.

• 17:26Speaker 00

  I know, there's no bits in my water.

• 17:28James Acaster?

  You can't taste it because you're from London. You can't even see it.

• 17:31Speaker 00

  I can't see the bits.

• 17:32James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I'm sure you've got good water, man.

• 17:39James Acaster?

  Pudding of bread, Kai, it's got a larynx, pudding of bread.

• 17:42Speaker 03

  Bread, any bread, all bread, lots of bread, particularly Brazilian cheese ball bread, pão caseiro.

• 17:48James Acaster?

  What, what kind of bread?

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Oh, it's called pão caseiro.

• 17:50James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  It's cheesy balls, cheesy bread balls.

• 17:54James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  You can have them for breakfast traditionally, but you can have them anytime. I've woken up in the middle of the night hungry, stuck some in the air fryer and eaten them.

• 18:01James Acaster?

  Lovely.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  Beautiful. Bread, a hundred percent bread.

• 18:04Speaker 00

  First time I had that bread, it absolutely blew my mind.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  It's beautiful.

• 18:07Speaker 00

  As a, as a bread fan, sure.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:09Speaker 00

  Bit of cheese fan first.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  I mean, two worlds colliding.

• 18:11Speaker 00

  Bread, oh, a bit of bread, tear it open, full of fucking cheese.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:15James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  Smell whiffs up.

• 18:17Speaker 00

  Banana's good.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  Gorgeous.

• 18:18Speaker 00

  It's so good.

• 18:19James Acaster?

  That sounds very nice. How many, how many balls you having?

• 18:22Speaker 03

  I will stick a good 12 in the air fryer and nibble on them.

• 18:26Speaker 00

  You can pack 12 in there?

• 18:26Speaker 03

  I can't, not, not in one go, not an animal.

• 18:28James Acaster?

  No, but I'm saying like, it's more the capacity of an air fryer that is, I like, I'm impressed by.

• 18:34Speaker 00

  How big, how big are the, the rolls? They're like.

• 18:37Speaker 03

  We're not calling it a roll.

• 18:38Speaker 00

  All right.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  We're calling it a ball.

• 18:40Speaker 00

  A ball.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  It's a ball.

• 18:41Speaker 00

  How big, but I, I wanna get.

• 18:43Speaker 03

  You do, you wanna say how big are the balls?

• 18:44Speaker 00

  I do wanna say how big are the balls? How big are the balls?

• 18:46Speaker 03

  Massive.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  No, they're like a medium, a good healthy sized ball.

• 18:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:52Speaker 03

  Not too big.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  Not like go doctors.

• 18:54Speaker 03

  No one likes a big ball.

• 18:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, not too, no.

• 18:57Speaker 00

  So they're going in the air fryer. How big's the air fryer you've got?

• 19:00Speaker 03

  One of those, it was Costco one, not the fancy ninja one.

• 19:03Speaker 00

  Right.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Didn't get that. It was my Christmas present from my ex-husband, which is, you know.

• 19:07James Acaster?

  Merry Christmas.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Sweet.

• 19:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:08Speaker 03

  Um, and it's got two little drawers. You get a few in there, but you don't wanna overcrowd them because as they cook, they'll melt into each other.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  And that's not good because you want crispy on the outside.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  That bread choice is delicious. Yeah. I don't think anyone's picked that before.

• 19:20James Acaster?

  I think that is the first time.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 19:22James Acaster?

  It's very nice.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  She's unique.

• 19:24James Acaster?

  Oh, Ben, two people have picked it.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Why did you ruin that for me?

• 19:27James Acaster?

  Let's, let's hear who they are though.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  Are they Brazilian?

• 19:29James Acaster?

  You, you, you can decide if you wanna share these with these people or not.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  Okay, who?

• 19:33James Acaster?

  Nisha Katona and David Cross.

• 19:35Speaker 00

  Neither of, neither of whom are Brazilian.

• 19:38James Acaster?

  But second shout out for David Cross in one episode. We had the Tobias reference earlier.

• 19:42Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, we did.

• 19:44James Acaster?

  Cross making it in again.

• 19:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, which is mad considering he didn't even remember you when you went on his podcast.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  Oh, that's sad.

• 19:50James Acaster?

  He'd come on and done this, I went on his podcast and at one point halfway through.

• 19:55Speaker 03

  Did he say nice to meet you when he first saw you?

• 19:57James Acaster?

  No, he refused to talk to me when he first saw me because he wanted to save it for the podcast. So that was.

• 20:01Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 20:01James Acaster?

  Made it worse. Cause if he'd said to me, nice to meet you, I could have said off mic, oh, we've already met.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, and that would have been awkward.

• 20:08James Acaster?

  Yeah, normally I wouldn't do that.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:10James Acaster?

  Because it was on the podcast and it's been out in the public art.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Public, yeah.

• 20:14James Acaster?

  You, you have to be like, we haven't met, but he didn't do that. So he was like, he said, no, I won't talk to you until we record.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 20:21James Acaster?

  Okay. My girlfriend was with me at the time. I was like, she come with me because she's been a fan of him.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  Cute.

• 20:27James Acaster?

  And I was like, well, would you like to say hi to my girlfriend? He went, hi, without looking at her.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  Oh dear.

• 20:32James Acaster?

  So I.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  This is not good.

• 20:33James Acaster?

  I had to be like, okay, I'll see you later. And she, she, she went around New York on her own.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 20:38James Acaster?

  And then I sat down with him and then halfway through the podcast, he went, so this is the first time we've met. And I went, no. No, I'm sorry to bring it up, but, but you have done our podcast and people will.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  Good for you. So I'm such a people pleaser. I wouldn't have said anything. I would have gone along with it.

• 20:52James Acaster?

  People would have been listening, who would know?

• 20:53Speaker 00

  Would have been like, they have met before.

• 20:55James Acaster?

  It would have been so like much more embarrassing when people listen to it.

• 20:58Speaker 00

  Like such a cuck.

• 20:58James Acaster?

  I was like a cuck, I can't get cucked by, by Cross. So like, I, I said like, we've met and he, and he was, he, he did say sorry, kind of.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  Did he claw it back? Was he?

• 21:06James Acaster?

  He doesn't really care about clawing it. I think, I think David Cross will mind me saying this, but he's, he's, he's not a polite man.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  Right.

• 21:12James Acaster?

  Or like a considerate man. So like.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  Oh, he won't mind you saying this?

• 21:16James Acaster?

  Yes. He, he has not tried and come across that by on his podcast. So like, yeah, he didn't really, he did say sorry, but he wasn't really.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Right.

• 21:25Speaker 00

  But great tasting bread, Bob. Such good tasting bread, this guy.

• 21:32James Acaster?

  Your dream starter.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  I'm not a massive starter person.

• 21:35James Acaster?

  Yeah, good on you. You can skip it if you want. We can have more stuff later on.

• 21:38Speaker 00

  No. Please don't skip it.

• 21:40Speaker 03

  Don't skip it. Do you know, this is really basic. I love a good, a good, by good, I mean bad prawn cocktail.

• 21:48Speaker 00

  That's, no, that's allowed. That's totally allowed.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Bad, not bad, like a proper like Wetherspoons prawn.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  Like seventies, like prawn cocktail, tiny little frozen prawns.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  Little frozen chewy prawns.

• 21:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  I once had like a bougie prawn cocktail in New York at the polo club. Side note, Kim Kardashian was there that, that night.

• 22:06James Acaster?

  Hey.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Or in real life.

• 22:08James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 22:08Speaker 03

  Ticked it off the list. Like seeing the big five, isn't it? You've got to see them all.

• 22:11James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  In real life.

• 22:12Speaker 00

  Who's on, hang on, who, who are the rest of the big five?

• 22:14Speaker 03

  Family.

• 22:14Speaker 00

  The whole family.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Family. It's like a game. You've got to try to see them all in real life.

• 22:18Speaker 00

  So hang on, but surely Kim's like the top one.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  I think Chris manager is, Chris Momager is the number one that you wanna see in real life.

• 22:26James Acaster?

  The lioness.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  The lioness.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  Um, anyway, Kim was there.

• 22:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  Uh, and it was at the Ralph Lauren Polo Club, bougie.

• 22:34James Acaster?

  Hmm.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  Hmm. Very nice. And the prawn, I said, oh, there's a prawn cocktail. Brilliant. I'm gonna order a prawn cocktail. Look at me. I'm in New York, having a prawn cocktail with Kim Kardashian. It comes out and it's the most terrifying thing I've ever seen. You know how in America, like the onions are bigger, the chicken breasts are bigger because they're pumping them full of stuff?

• 22:51Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  I'm not, don't wanna get cancelled by America because I wanna be one of them.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  True. They, they've got different regulations.

• 22:56James Acaster?

  You do well to get cancelled by America in this day and age.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true. I'm actually, in four years' time, I'd like to go back.

• 23:02James Acaster?

  Yeah, saying that you think there's something in the chicken breast. Right, that's it, you're done.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  There's a hundred percent thing going on with the chicken breast. But it was these giant prawns that were like coming out of the side of the glass. It was in this obnoxiously large thing and there was full ice cubes in it.

• 23:15James Acaster?

  Hmm.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  And lettuce leaves. And I was like, this is not.

• 23:17James Acaster?

  Full of ice cubes in the prawn cocktail.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  Not what I wanted.

• 23:19James Acaster?

  I've not heard that, of that before.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  It's like a seafood tower version of a prawn cocktail.

• 23:24Speaker 00

  And when they say prawn cocktail, the cocktail sauce is like tomatoey, horseradish thing, right?

• 23:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. Everything was wrong about it.

• 23:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  Everything was wrong about it. Um, so yeah, I want a standard eighties.

• 23:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:35Speaker 03

  Proper English.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  Shredded iceberg lettuce.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  Shredded. They've made the sauce with the mayonnaise and the ketchup.

• 23:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  Before. They've just stirred it in and they've stuck it on there.

• 23:45Speaker 00

  There is something, I don't know whether it's like a British instinct where we quite enjoy things to be slightly substandard.

• 23:50Speaker 03

  A little bit shit.

• 23:51Speaker 00

  Even though we've ta, we've tasted all the, we've tasted all the best versions of things.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  We have shit food. Like, let's be honest. We are not a culinary country.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna accept.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  No, we have nice restaurants, but then they're from other places. They're other cuisines.

• 24:05Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Look, don't knock a Sunday roast, don't knock a fry up.

• 24:07Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  But that's hardly kind of chemistry, is it? It's hardly like breaking any boundaries.

• 24:13Speaker 00

  Depends how you do a fry up. Go on.

• 24:16James Acaster?

  I don't know what you're looking at.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  Do you not fry it?

• 24:17Speaker 00

  My fry ups, my fry ups. No, no, you are right. I just don't like, I just don't like saying it, but. Quality of ingredients in the UK is absolutely amazing.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  I'm saying, I think that's a good thing.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  I think that we like something a little bit, not shit, something that feels like home cooking, something that feels like something we can all enjoy and understand. Um, I, I love nothing more than taking my friends to a really fancy event and seeing their faces when foam comes out. It is one of my favorite sports because they look appalled. They don't know what to do with it. They're like, this isn't food. I'm hungry. What's happened? Why am I eating foam right now?

• 24:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  And I agree with them completely. So I, I do appreciate our kind of staple dishes in this country. And I think there is something very special about that.

• 25:02Speaker 00

  And the prawn cocktail is one of the kings of that, of those staple dishes. What, what do you reckon Kim Kardashian's reaction would be to a 1970s British prawn cocktail?

• 25:11Speaker 03

  I mean, I think she'd say something like, this is iconic.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  I think she'd genuinely find it iconic.

• 25:18Speaker 00

  But with a really completely blank, blank face and saying it's iconic.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  She'd be feeling it, but you can't tell she's feeling it. That's okay.

• 25:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:26James Acaster?

  Do you wanna, uh, star in something with Kim Kardashian?

• 25:29Speaker 00

  She acts now.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  She does act now.

• 25:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  Lots of people act now.

• 25:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  Lots of people do the acting now, don't they?

• 25:35James Acaster?

  What a, the biggest like sub diss I think we've had on the podcast.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  That is true. Lots of people have a go. That's nice.

• 25:43James Acaster?

  Lots of people do.

• 25:44Speaker 00

  I'm glad I didn't send in that tape for the gentleman series too.

• 25:48James Acaster?

  Hey, you could play that guy's brother or something.

• 25:52Speaker 03

  You can, I see you as like the posh nephew that comes, you've got quite a baby face.

• 25:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. And it's normally the posh, the, the posh ones I get sent.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:00Speaker 00

  I'll, I'll dig out what I was sent later. I'll tell you. Yeah, yeah.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  Give you some notes.

• 26:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, thank you. Give you some notes on the tape I didn't do because I was like, that's a waste of time. I'm not gonna get it.

• 26:08James Acaster?

  You didn't do it?

• 26:09Speaker 03

  Would you like, would you like to do acting?

• 26:11Speaker 00

  I've done a little bit of stuff in the past, but to be honest, I, I find the, um, rigmarole of filming tapes and then not hearing anything back too damaging.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  Yes, it's very, very distressing.

• 26:20Speaker 00

  So I don't, you know, I've got other stuff going on. So I was like, I'm not, I'm not putting myself through that.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  No, we're gonna start a sparkling water, water, sparkles company.

• 26:29Speaker 00

  The illegal sparkling company.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:30Speaker 00

  James does acting?

• 26:32James Acaster?

  Not really.

• 26:35James Acaster?

  Same as Ed, really. Yes.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  You do being.

• 26:38James Acaster?

  Yeah, just being. Yeah, yeah. No, I've, I've, I've tried to do it. Um, I enjoy it a lot.

• 26:44Speaker 00

  He's been in films, Kai.

• 26:45James Acaster?

  I just don't.

• 26:45Speaker 00

  He's trying to hide his light under a bushel.

• 26:48James Acaster?

  I'm just acting like I haven't done it.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  See, that's eyebrows. That's an actor.

• 26:53Speaker 00

  That was incredible, wasn't it?

• 26:54Speaker 03

  That's really impressive. Kim Kardashian can't do that.

• 26:56Speaker 00

  No.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Doesn't move. Yeah.

• 27:00Speaker 00

  Today's episode of the Off Menu Podcast is sponsored by Cozy, the home of possibilities, James.

• 27:06James Acaster?

  Ah, man, Ed, Cozy has everything you need to make your home feel like it has a plan. Do you know what I mean?

• 27:12Speaker 00

  I know what you mean. Cozy is a wonderful furniture company. It makes furnishing your whole home easy. Sofers, dining, storage, rugs, bedroom, even outdoor, all designed to make your space feel put together without the usual furniture stress. And James, we talk about dream meals on this podcast, but you know what? We very rarely talk about where we wanna eat this dream meal.

• 27:31James Acaster?

  Sure. Yeah. I like it when it does come up. It is very important. It changes the whole meal, the setting, the vibe. And Cozy's modular customizable furniture for the whole home does just that.

• 27:42Speaker 00

  And the meal, James, doesn't necessarily end at dessert. We've often talked about wanting to take our maybe final course through to a comfy room. And I think this is where Cozy can really come in handy. Go and relax on the sofa, maybe even eat your meal at a lovely, beautiful cozy table, linger a little bit, move through with coffees and dessert to a lovely couch. But I know what you're like, James, you're a mucky pup.

• 28:04James Acaster?

  I'm gonna spill stuff everywhere. Is that gonna ruin the Cozy furniture?

• 28:07Speaker 00

  No, don't worry about that, James, because it's highly washable, James. It's sauce, wine, sparkling water, dessert crumbs, you telling one of your big stories and sloshing a coffee everywhere. Don't worry, you can pop it in the wash.

• 28:19James Acaster?

  Oh, so you're saying Cozy makes every day at home feel like my best day?

• 28:22Speaker 00

  Absolutely. That's exactly what I'm saying. And with Cozy, your home can grow with you, adapting to new spaces, new styles and every era of your life, James. I think it's so hard, especially when you move somewhere new, to immediately make that place feel like yours, that it's been put together well. And that's where Cozy comes in.

• 28:39James Acaster?

  And because it's cozy, the furniture isn't just good looking, but actually practical. Modular pieces, easy assembly, washable and interchangeable covers and free design consultations if you want help making the whole room work.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  And it's easy to order, ship and assemble and maintain, James. The only way is the cozy way.

• 28:57James Acaster?

  Visit Cozy today. That's C O Z E Y dot com and make yourself at home.

• 29:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:10Speaker 00

  Your dream main course?

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Dream main course. Okay, I was, I was between a really good Sunday roast, but I feel like that's definitely been said before, hasn't it?

• 29:19Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 29:20James Acaster?

  Still.

• 29:21Speaker 00

  But it's still up to you. Do you wanna hear this before you say it?

• 29:24Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 29:24Speaker 00

  Prawn cocktail is the most chosen start we, we have on the podcast.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  Well, that gives me comfort.

• 29:30Speaker 00

  So maybe.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Because I said I'm not a starter.

• 29:31Speaker 00

  You can have a Sunday roast.

• 29:33Speaker 03

  No, no, I think I'm gonna go for a hordesio, which is traditional, traditional Brazilian Sunday dinner. Where you have a buffet. See, I want lots of options here. I've thought about this.

• 29:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is good.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  I want it to be broad. So you go in, have you ever been to a hordesio? There's a few in London. And so you go in, there's a buffet where you get your rice, your feijão, which is our traditional beans, salad bar and kind of all the salty street snacks, the cheese bread, coxinha, which is another Brazilian dish, all these kind of little bits. And then they come round with meat on a sword and they cut it at the table and you sit there for three hours slowly comatosing yourself, trying every piece of salty meat they bring you and it's my idea of heaven.

• 30:18Speaker 00

  I ha- I have been to those, I just didn't know the name of it.

• 30:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:20James Acaster?

  What's it?

• 30:22Speaker 00

  Fogodichao? That's one in the States, that's a chain, chain one.

• 30:26James Acaster?

  It's that?

• 30:26Speaker 00

  Ooh, I've been saying it wrong the whole time.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Chão. It's that "ão" sound, which is very unique in Brazilian Portuguese, "ao".

• 30:32Speaker 00

  Well, fogo.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  But you say it how you want, babes.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  I've been to that place. No, no, I wanna get it right.

• 30:37James Acaster?

  You will wanna get it right.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, the one in LA is, are you talking about the one in LA?

• 30:40Speaker 00

  No, Philadelphia, actually.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  Really?

• 30:42James Acaster?

  I went to the LA one with Adam and Chen, shout out Chenny.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Nice. That one's a bit bouge. The best place for Brazilian food in LA is in the, what's the market called? The Grange? It's like the Grove.

• 30:53Speaker 00

  Grove.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  The Grove. There's a stall, a tiny little Brazilian stall, market stall, that does Brazilian food, best Brazilian food in America.

• 31:00James Acaster?

  Wow.

• 31:00Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:01James Acaster?

  Do you know what it's called, the stall?

• 31:02Speaker 03

  Brazilian stall.

• 31:04James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  At the Grove.

• 31:05Speaker 00

  At the Grove. And to think, when I went to the Grove, I had Danny Trejo's tacos.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  Oh, how was that?

• 31:11Speaker 00

  Well, it was nice tacos, but his face is on everything, which made me laugh.

• 31:14James Acaster?

  The best tacos made by Danny Trejo in America.

• 31:19Speaker 00

  That is such a good choice. I absolutely love those places.

• 31:22James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:22Speaker 00

  And yeah, just the sitting there.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Did you eat the chicken hearts?

• 31:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 31:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, I eat all of that. Anything that comes around on the skewer is going straight on the plate.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  It's a really good place to take a guy on a date, because they get really impressed by it. And they're like, oh, meat, wow, having a lovely time. Lots of meat, woo. Goes down well.

• 31:39James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  I've, I've been to one in Brazil as well, actually.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Sick.

• 31:42Speaker 00

  In Salvador.

• 31:44James Acaster?

  No, you've been to Brazil?

• 31:45Speaker 00

  That's the first time I, yeah. That's the first time I'd been to one of those places and went with my family and they kept bringing meat to my sister and me and my dad were like, this waiter's trying to chat you up. He keep, he only brings you stuff. And then we realised it was the red or green drinks coaster system.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  You have to turn the coaster over.

• 32:03Speaker 00

  We all had all ours on red and hers was on green. Yeah, rookie move.

• 32:06Speaker 03

  Typical gringo, yeah.

• 32:07Speaker 00

  That's what I said, typical gringo.

• 32:09James Acaster?

  They ignored me and Chenny when we were doing that. They kept on just bringing it, we, we were putting the red up like, we have so much meat now.

• 32:16Speaker 03

  No, you're not done, you need more.

• 32:16James Acaster?

  They kept on coming over scraping it on our plate.

• 32:18Speaker 00

  Scraping it.

• 32:19James Acaster?

  They were like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:20Speaker 03

  You get very offended if you don't finish your food. It's one of those cultures where they'll be like, there's something wrong with it. You didn't like it? You're like, no, sorry, I just can't physically eat anymore. You're like, but why?

• 32:29Speaker 00

  Especially like the salad bar is so amazing.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, but don't fuck with the salad bar.

• 32:34Speaker 00

  What?

• 32:34Speaker 03

  This is the number one thing I say when I take people. Don't, don't even look at the salad bar. Get you a little bit of rice, a little bit of beans and then do the meat.

• 32:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  Because that is the trick. You fill up on the salad bar, they don't have to give you as much.

• 32:45Speaker 00

  The one I went to at Fogodich, it had a whole like parmesan.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  And like you cut chunks of it. So I've done like, you know,

• 32:55Speaker 03

  You've done it proper.

• 32:55Speaker 00

  Half a kilo of parmesan before, before we even get to the meat at Fogodich.

• 32:59James Acaster?

  What are your favourite meats to get at, uh, things like this?

• 33:04Speaker 03

  Hordesio. Go on, you can say it.

• 33:06James Acaster?

  I don't think so.

• 33:07Speaker 00

  He's been practicing scottalario for the last three hours.

• 33:09James Acaster?

  Goddamn name all day. Take one another word.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  Okay, fair enough, fair enough. You're doing well. So I like the baby back ribs. And then something called flajinha, which is another cut of meat. And the premium, the number one is the bicanya, which is the one that kind of looks like swells and it's really, it's just made with coarse salt and stuck on fire, nothing else. And it is delicious. Melts in your mouth juicy. Do you like chicken hearts as well? But when you see a load of chicken hearts on the skewer and you realise how many chickens.

• 33:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:40Speaker 03

  It does put you off a little bit. I do feel a bit of guilt in that moment.

• 33:43Speaker 00

  There's not many things where it's one per chicken.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  Exactly. And that is one.

• 33:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  So there's about, yeah.

• 33:48Speaker 00

  That's one per chicken.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  It's quite.

• 33:50James Acaster?

  Yeah, that's pretty, that's pretty bad. Did they know each other, all those chickens?

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, were they cousins?

• 33:54Speaker 00

  Were they in love?

• 33:55Speaker 03

  Hmm. At least they're still together in some way.

• 33:58James Acaster?

  Yeah, on skewer for a little bit.

• 33:59Speaker 00

  Hearts are still together, hearts together forever.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Hearts together.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  We keep landing on downers during this, don't we? Sorry.

• 34:06James Acaster?

  Made me feel quite sad.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  No, but that is, that is mind blowing that it's one per chicken as well. It feels like they should have more.

• 34:11James Acaster?

  Well, chickens should have more than one per.

• 34:12Speaker 00

  We've got two everything, two everything else.

• 34:14James Acaster?

  What, have they?

• 34:16Speaker 00

  Wings.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  Feet.

• 34:19Speaker 00

  Feet, thighs, legs.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true. I see what you're saying.

• 34:22James Acaster?

  Oh, he's.

• 34:22Speaker 00

  Breasts.

• 34:25James Acaster?

  They've got one beak.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, but they're not bringing around a skewer, skewer beaks, are they?

• 34:29James Acaster?

  Oh, sorry. I was just meaning the bit that you eat.

• 34:31Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 34:33James Acaster?

  Okay, so. People don't eat the beak?

• 34:36Speaker 00

  That'd be a nice snack, maybe like a fried beak.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  A crunchy thing at the end.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  Use all the animal. It's important.

• 34:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little some crunchy beaks.

• 34:43James Acaster?

  Maybe I'll start that up. Crunchy beak business.

• 34:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, like bags of beaks.

• 34:49James Acaster?

  Bag of beaks.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  Bags of beaks. That's good.

• 34:51Speaker 00

  Bag of Brazilian beaks.

• 34:52James Acaster?

  Triple B's.

• 34:53Speaker 00

  Yeah. Or is beak like a Guy Ritchie thing for like cocaine?

• 34:57James Acaster?

  Yeah, he would say that.

• 34:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Probably.

• 34:59Speaker 00

  Bag of beak. Well, we can get him involved.

• 35:00James Acaster?

  You gotta stop hanging, you gotta stop hanging out with him. I think he's a bad influence. And I don't think you should hang out with Guy Ritchie anymore.

• 35:08Speaker 03

  Well.

• 35:09James Acaster?

  I think.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  Guy Ritchie, Ray Winstone's in this as well and Vinnie Jones.

• 35:13James Acaster?

  Ray Winstone's been on this podcast.

• 35:15Speaker 03

  Has he?

• 35:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Love Ray.

• 35:17James Acaster?

  Loves Italy.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  He does love Italy. He lives in Sicily. He's got a place there.

• 35:20James Acaster?

  Absolutely loves it.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  He actually bought me back a bottle of olive oil that was olive oil from his olive oil farm. And I've got it in my kitchen and I've put in Sharpie, Ray Winstone's olive oil, don't fucking touch. So that no one's allowed to use it.

• 35:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:33James Acaster?

  Plug it.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Gonna keep it there.

• 35:35Speaker 00

  Can you imagine that being the name of it, if he tries to sell it as well?

• 35:38Speaker 03

  It's kind of a nod to him as well.

• 35:39James Acaster?

  Would be called that. Is there an actor who you've not worked with yet, who would like to put it out into the universe now that you would like to work with on the podcast?

• 35:47Speaker 03

  I get excited about young actors, like new people. No one knows. Yeah.

• 35:52James Acaster?

  They're losers, they're nobodies. They're nobodies.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  They're full of dreams. They're not jaded yet. They, they still think it's all gonna be great and I think that's magical to be around.

• 36:00Speaker 00

  So you like to destroy that?

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Five minutes of me and they're like, wow, maybe I don't wanna do this for 20 years. She's not well.

• 36:07Speaker 00

  You like crushing dreams.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Crushing dreams. No, who'd I like to work with? I've always said Arnold Schwarzenegger, but, but that's because he was just like a personal childhood hero and I don't actually wanna meet him in case he turns out to be a twat.

• 36:18James Acaster?

  Sure.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Because you never know, right?

• 36:20James Acaster?

  You never know.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  So many people are actually, do you know what? I will say, most people aren't twats. Most people are just a bit boring.

• 36:26James Acaster?

  I know, there's loads of twats, man.

• 36:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's quite a few twats.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  There are, yeah.

• 36:29James Acaster?

  So many.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Do you think I'm a twat?

• 36:31James Acaster?

  No.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 36:32James Acaster?

  I just met you.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  I'm glad.

• 36:33James Acaster?

  We're just on the podcast together, aren't we?

• 36:35Speaker 03

  Ask you again at the end.

• 36:37James Acaster?

  I could never, ever just draw judgement. Actually, some people on the podcast are absolute twats.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, can you tell within like five minutes?

• 36:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:43Speaker 03

  Can you tell if it's gonna be awkward?

• 36:45Speaker 00

  Oh, 100%. Normally, when people show up, we can tell it's gonna be awkward.

• 36:50James Acaster?

  Yeah, some, sometimes you just wanna say, I just don't bother. Just go home. We'll, we'll do an advert for your, for your thing or something.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, we'll just say it at the front.

• 37:05Speaker 00

  Your dream side dish?

• 37:06Speaker 03

  Dream side? What are we calling a side dish?

• 37:09James Acaster?

  Whatever you want, actually, because people have hacked this before. So you can just have whatever you like.

• 37:14Speaker 00

  I mean, you've got the whole salad bar, you've got the whole salad bar at your disposal anyway.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  I'm not a salad person.

• 37:18Speaker 00

  No.

• 37:19James Acaster?

  Are you not listening?

• 37:20Speaker 03

  I've never enjoyed salad.

• 37:22Speaker 00

  But it's there, it's there, you know.

• 37:24James Acaster?

  Listen to our guests.

• 37:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, but there's other things on that salad bar. You can get a whole parmesan on there.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:27James Acaster?

  You just want.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  Cheese, cheese isn't a side dish though, isn't it? Isn't that more traditionally a dessert?

• 37:32James Acaster?

  Halumi?

• 37:33Speaker 03

  Bit halumi. Oh, oh, bit grilled halumi, that's not bad. That's a good one.

• 37:38Speaker 00

  So not, are you not, not salad or not veggies at all?

• 37:41Speaker 03

  I like veggies. I don't like salad. I don't, I don't like cold food.

• 37:46Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 37:47Speaker 03

  That's the thing. Soup, I've never understood as a concept.

• 37:51James Acaster?

  Go on.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  It's not food.

• 37:53Speaker 00

  Say more about that.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  Chew it. It really annoys me when someone's like, oh, I've got soup for dinner. I'm like, no, you don't. You've got a drink. That's not dinner.

• 38:00Speaker 00

  I do agree with that. Like when people have, they have their little soup for lunch.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  That's so sad.

• 38:06Speaker 00

  Why do you hate yourself?

• 38:07Speaker 03

  I feel sad for them. I'm like, someone needs to love you and give you a real meal.

• 38:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  I'm a very big feeder though. That's my, oh, this is wanky to say, that's my love language.

• 38:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, that is wanky.

• 38:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, that is wanky, yeah. But yeah, I'm a feeder. I love cooking for people.

• 38:22James Acaster?

  Love language, Ed?

• 38:23Speaker 00

  Hmm, good question. I like cooking for people as well. What's yours?

• 38:29James Acaster?

  That's a good question. I guess just.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  He has no love language.

• 38:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, we've suddenly made him realise something about himself. You've gotta start showing your partner love, man.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:38James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  What do you do? What's your, what do you do?

• 38:41James Acaster?

  Just love, I guess.

• 38:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, but what is the love language? That's.

• 38:44James Acaster?

  Yeah, just show, show her love.

• 38:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, but in what way?

• 38:47James Acaster?

  Love her, love her so much.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Just say, I love you, I love you, I love you over and over again.

• 38:52Speaker 00

  Well, that's, that's words of affirmation, right? Does that, is that counted as love language?

• 38:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:56Speaker 00

  Saying I love you.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  I don't see him doing that either. No?

• 38:59Speaker 00

  I love, no, he goes, I love you so much.

• 39:01James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:01Speaker 03

  But you kicked your girlfriend out of a podcast and made her go walk around New York on her own.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  That's how I interpreted that story as well.

• 39:07Speaker 03

  Me too. I, I interpreted it as, I don't want you here, you're making me awkward.

• 39:11Speaker 00

  I'm hanging out with David Cross.

• 39:13James Acaster?

  She said to me, I'm gonna go.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  Because you didn't make her feel comfortable and that was giving you the opportunity to fix it and you didn't.

• 39:21Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 39:21James Acaster?

  She's smelly. She's one of the smelly women.

• 39:25Speaker 00

  Women can be smelly, Kyle.

• 39:27James Acaster?

  Yeah, she is smelly.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  Honesty, I think maybe that's your love language. Directness, that's a good one.

• 39:34Speaker 00

  You've got loads of them, I reckon.

• 39:35James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:36Speaker 00

  Gifts?

• 39:37James Acaster?

  Yeah, I love receiving gifts.

• 39:40Speaker 00

  Your love language is you receive gifts, well.

• 39:42James Acaster?

  Graciously.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  You look after the cats?

• 39:44James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 39:46James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Caretaking, yeah, that's good.

• 39:48James Acaster?

  Uh, yeah, I guess just love in general.

• 39:51Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 39:52James Acaster?

  Yeah, just, uh, just loving people, kind of love everyone, really.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  Oh, that's nice.

• 39:57James Acaster?

  That's not true.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  No, you just said that you had a bunch of cunts on him.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  And that you can tell instantly if you don't like him.

• 40:04James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, they're awful, hate them.

• 40:07Speaker 00

  What's your, like, signature thing to cook for people?

• 40:11Speaker 03

  Brazilian food.

• 40:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:12Speaker 03

  Uh, I do a moqueca, which is like a coconut fish stew thing, which sounds not as nice as it actually is.

• 40:19James Acaster?

  Sounds delicious, coconut fish stew.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's very aromatic.

• 40:22James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Um, you've got a, like, cilantro or coriander, if you're dating me.

• 40:27James Acaster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  Don't fuck with people that don't like coriander, it's a very important ingredient.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  What's with those people?

• 40:32Speaker 03

  I don't know, they say it tastes like toothpaste and if something's wrong, go to the doctor.

• 40:35Speaker 00

  They say it tastes like soap and it's like, a lot of people, you know, we're special, we all, you know, there's people who taste it.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  It's become this, like, thing to brag about, like, you have a gene that means you think coriander tastes like soap.

• 40:44Speaker 00

  Don't like it.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  Doesn't sound healthy to me, something's wrong. Taste some soap, what's that taste like? Tell us.

• 40:50Speaker 00

  What if that tastes like coriander today? And then you've got to start shaving soap into your dishes.

• 40:55Speaker 03

  No, that's why I said they've got, like, coriander, I'm not gonna, it's too much, too much drama. Yeah, I don't like making breakfast, find that stressful, I'm not a morning person.

• 41:04Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 41:05Speaker 03

  So whoever I'm dating needs to do, needs to be okay being the breakfast person.

• 41:09Speaker 00

  I think that's a fair trade.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll do lunch and dinner happily, make desserts, but, um, in the morning, I'm a wheaty fix or toast kind of girl.

• 41:18Speaker 00

  So you're not asking for anything, really, in terms of cooking labor?

• 41:21Speaker 03

  To do it.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, but you're, but yeah, you just, if you want wheaty fix.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  No, I'm just saying that's all I'm offering.

• 41:27Speaker 00

  But you want them to do something more elaborate?

• 41:28Speaker 03

  If they want anything more elaborate than wheaty fix or toast, that's on them.

• 41:32Speaker 00

  What would you want?

• 41:33Speaker 03

  I can't even make a coffee, isn't that terrible, because I don't drink coffee or tea.

• 41:36James Acaster?

  Ben makes a great coffee.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 41:38James Acaster?

  Although we told him that the other day and he got angry.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  Why?

• 41:41James Acaster?

  He made us coffee yesterday.

• 41:43Speaker 00

  It was really good.

• 41:44James Acaster?

  And we, I took a sip, it was so delicious, and I said, Ben, that's amazing, and he went, I always make good coffee, I always do! And I was like, whoa, and Ed had a sip and went, this is really, really good, Ben.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  I don't understand, how can coffee be good or bad, it's, it all smells horrific, how?

• 42:00Speaker 00

  The taste of it is that.

• 42:01Speaker 03

  It's the same thing.

• 42:01Speaker 00

  If the taste is nice, it's nice coffee.

• 42:03James Acaster?

  There's so many.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  No, this is a genuine question, because I don't understand, do you drink coffee, does it actually taste different?

• 42:08James Acaster?

  Yeah, so when people say about wine.

• 42:10Speaker 00

  They're not gonna let you back in Brazil.

• 42:11James Acaster?

  So, and I'm not saying these people are liars, but when people say that wine tastes, and they say all the different things they can taste in wine.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 42:18James Acaster?

  I can't taste it.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 42:20James Acaster?

  With coffee, I genuinely can, when people say.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  I don't understand, it smells the same.

• 42:24James Acaster?

  It's chocolatey or it's citrusy, it's got these notes in it, I'm always like, I used to be like, as if.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:31James Acaster?

  And then.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  As if, love that, like you're at the playground at school.

• 42:34James Acaster?

  As if it does, and then I'd have a sip and be like, lately, when I've started drinking, like, filtered coffees and stuff, and the lovely coffee that Benito makes, I was like, I actually can taste all those things, it's just that I was drinking espresso for years and that I can't taste the difference between, although I'm sure there is.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 42:48James Acaster?

  But like, yeah, like filtered coffees and stuff, it's changed my life.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm glad.

• 42:53James Acaster?

  Absolutely love it.

• 42:54Speaker 03

  I'm glad. One day, if I ever jump on the coffee wagon, I'll call you and be like, oh my god, you're right, this one tastes like nuts.

• 43:01James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  I don't know, what do they taste like?

• 43:03James Acaster?

  Yeah, sometimes they're nutty, biscuity.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  Biscuity, okay.

• 43:06James Acaster?

  Yeah, next time there's like a batch brew or a pour over or something, like. Honestly.

• 43:12Speaker 03

  I don't understand, but I.

• 43:13Speaker 00

  I prefer the nutty and chocolatey flavour.

• 43:17James Acaster?

  The citrusy ones, yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 00

  To the citrusy.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  Citrusy coffee?

• 43:20James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  The whole world out there, I don't understand, guys.

• 43:24Speaker 00

  But this is it, all this, you know, Brazilian food and, you know, loving Brazilian culture and, you know.

• 43:30Speaker 03

  Well, I think it's when I was little, when I was growing up, my mum drank such strong black coffee and the smell of it was really overwhelming.

• 43:37James Acaster?

  Right, okay.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  And I didn't have a, like, English family member in the household, so I never grew up drinking tea, um, and so I either drink water or alcohol, I'm either hydrated or drunk, there's no, there's no in-between.

• 43:49James Acaster?

  Respect.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  No, maybe an orange juice if I'm on holiday, but that's it.

• 43:53James Acaster?

  That's it, that's the only middle ground between.

• 43:57James Acaster?

  That's fair enough. Well, do we settle on a side dish?

• 44:00Speaker 00

  We talked about halloumi briefly.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  We talked about halloumi briefly, but I don't think we gave it enough for tend.

• 44:04Speaker 00

  So straight on to drink?

• 44:05Speaker 03

  I don't think it counts, because I didn't.

• 44:07Speaker 00

  No, so.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm saying no to a side dish.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  That's okay, okay, yeah, yeah.

• 44:10Speaker 03

  Wait, a really good cauliflower cheese, not the shitty ones, the good ones, like actually make a roux, do it properly with some, like, nice almonds grilled on top.

• 44:20James Acaster?

  Anyone in particular who's ever made one of those where you're like, that's the best one and you'd like it for your dream meal?

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Well, at my local pub, but I'm not gonna tell you where that is.

• 44:28Speaker 00

  Fair enough.

• 44:29James Acaster?

  Don't wanna blow you spot up?

• 44:30Speaker 03

  It's my pub.

• 44:31James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  And I like going there, but yeah, local pub does a good one.

• 44:34Speaker 00

  I'm sure they'll be delighted that you refused to plug them on the biggest food podcast in the UK.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  It's too close to my house.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  No, no.

• 44:40James Acaster?

  To be fair, we've ruined a lot of people's, like, locals who come on the podcast, who have said the place.

• 44:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:46James Acaster?

  And then they can't get a table there the next week.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, but then when you go in the restaurant, they start acting weird with you, and you're like, no, I liked it that you, that you were rude to me, that was nice.

• 44:53Speaker 00

  I love it when they act weird with us.

• 44:58Speaker 00

  I love it when we go in and they're all like, oh, they're here.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  Oh, they're here.

• 45:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, send them out some more stuff.

• 45:03Speaker 03

  Do you get, like, a special table?

• 45:04Speaker 00

  No, I mean, now and again, when we go in places, they'll send out extra stuff.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  Do you know, I will say, whenever people are like, what's the best bit of having the career that you do, and I'm always like, yeah, none of it matters and blah blah. Actually, when you get really good service in restaurants, that is, like, peak, I'm actually enjoying this experience of being mildly well-known.

• 45:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 03

  Because that makes the world of difference, when they're like, no, come this way, have this nice table, and they send out extras. Well, I actually went to Guy Ritchie's pub, Law of the Land.

• 45:31James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:32Speaker 03

  Um, with some mates and I'd texted, uh, his assistant, because I don't have his number, it's too important, um, and said, oh Rupert, by the way, we're going down to the pub, not expecting anything, and they were really generous and really kind, and we had, like, incredible food, really amazing wine, and I was like, yeah, this is kind of ballsy.

• 45:50James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  I'm enjoying this moment in my life right now.

• 45:52James Acaster?

  I have heard that pub's incredible.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  It's good, it's tiny as well, it's not like, you know, it's just, it's a bit, I don't wanna shit on it, I'm not shitting on it, it's lovely, it's a bit Mayfair, it's a little bit poppy, but that's okay, we need places like that, too, um, but the food is incredible, the staff are amazing, I really, really enjoyed it.

• 46:10Speaker 00

  We should go. Do you think we'll get a special, special treatment?

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Text me, I'll text the assistant, he'll text Guy, and he'll text seven other people, and it'll be sorted.

• 46:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, perfect, I can't wait.

• 46:23James Acaster?

  So your dream drink?

• 46:25Speaker 03

  Dream drink.

• 46:26Speaker 00

  Well, it's water or booze.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  Do you know what? No, I've been a bit basic already, I will elevate it and say a cocktail instead of a lager, um, although, nothing beats an ice cold pint of beer. Ah, heaven, uh, but actually, a really, really good gin and tonic, simple but well-made, I'd stick some juniper berries in there, why not? Maybe a sprig of rosemary, you can jazz it up as much as you want, um, I love a crisp gin and tonic.

• 46:55Speaker 00

  But then, yeah, it's on a hot day, my brain goes, is it lager or is it gin and tonic? That's the, that's the struggle, isn't it?

• 47:02Speaker 03

  That is the struggle, I do love a lager, I love a cold.

• 47:06James Acaster?

  That's the thing, when I hear you talk about the cold lager, I'm seeing more enthusiasm, more love.

• 47:11Speaker 03

  I feel like you can read me, you see me.

• 47:14James Acaster?

  I think when you watch this back, you'll see that anyone could read this. Like, you're, you really love the lager.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna go with the lager.

• 47:23James Acaster?

  Like, you really, you can tell that when you talk about it, you can taste it in your mind and you're thinking, oh, I want that.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay, it's a lager.

• 47:30James Acaster?

  So I want you to pick the thing that's your favourite.

• 47:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, do you know, being in, like, a pub garden with someone you fancy, having a lovely pint of lager is probably my happy place.

• 47:40James Acaster?

  Who do you fancy currently?

• 47:43James Acaster?

  Who's number one?

• 47:44Speaker 03

  Number one, um, my friends, my besties.

• 47:49James Acaster?

  Okay, good, good, good.

• 47:50Speaker 00

  Do you think that'll ruin your friendship?

• 47:51James Acaster?

  Someone's media trained. Thought we were gonna get a scoop there.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  There's someone I fancy, but, um, I don't know, like, to be honest, I do think being in a pub garden with your mates, especially during the World Cup, is heaven, and I'm really, really excited for that.

• 48:06James Acaster?

  You enjoying the World Cup so far?

• 48:07Speaker 03

  Loving it.

• 48:08James Acaster?

  We're recording this during the World Cup.

• 48:09Speaker 03

  I cried my eyes out watching the goalkeeper from last night.

• 48:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Cape Verde.

• 48:13James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah, I didn't, so I haven't watched it yet.

• 48:16Speaker 00

  I don't watch football all year round.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  But just watch the clips of him afterwards, emotional.

• 48:20Speaker 00

  I'm watching the World Cup, I had a great time watching that, I've got World Cup fever now.

• 48:24James Acaster?

  You've got to know how unusual it is for Ed to have World Cup fever, he does not care about football.

• 48:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:29James Acaster?

  At any time, any football match is on, he thinks it's pathetic that everyone else cares about it.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:34James Acaster?

  He's genuinely got, well, no, but.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, I think you're all losers.

• 48:38James Acaster?

  But he's got World Cup fever now.

• 48:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, I've got World Cup fever, and I think it's watching the countries who you don't expect to even be in the World Cup have decent games.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:46Speaker 00

  And the Cape Verde game with Spain was incredible.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  But even like the Scottish fans at the Red Sox game, that's amazing, like, Fenway Park's never had an atmosphere like that before, and it's just a load of Scottish guys being like, let's have fun, let's sing, like, I love all of that around it.

• 49:01Speaker 00

  I probably won't even watch the England game.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, see, I'm, I root for Brazil the whole time, so.

• 49:06Speaker 00

  Nil-nil, Morocco.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  Okay, wow.

• 49:09James Acaster?

  The fact that he knows that.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  Now he knows everything.

• 49:11James Acaster?

  Yeah, the fact that he knows that is astonishing.

• 49:13Speaker 03

  Who's pathetic now, eh?

• 49:15Speaker 00

  The old nil-nil.

• 49:16James Acaster?

  Was it the good, though, aren't they? Good, good football team, historically?

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Historically, we are five-time champions.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 49:22Speaker 03

  Pelé's injured, did you say? Yeah, Pelé's out.

• 49:26Speaker 00

  Pelé's out.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Uh, Neymar's back, no, I, it's always, um, beautiful to watch Brazil play, and that's what I grew up watching, was, was seeing the young players play, and the community around it, so all the kind of Brazilians in London would gather together at someone's tiny flat, we'd have flags out the windows, we were never allowed to put the flags out until England had been kicked out, out of respect for the English.

• 49:48James Acaster?

  Wow.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  So we would hold back on putting Brazil.

• 49:50James Acaster?

  Listen to that, any Reform voters listening to this, learn a thing or two.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  Respect, to put the flag away until it's time.

• 49:57Speaker 00

  So you were saying they should only put the flags out after they've kicked all the immigrants out, is that what you're saying?

• 50:01James Acaster?

  Yes, did not think that through, did not see that through to the end.

• 50:05Speaker 00

  Clip it.

• 50:07James Acaster?

  Clip it, put some clickbait over it. I'm done with the podcast. That video will do really well.

• 50:14Speaker 03

  Would you have a barrage on? Genuine question.

• 50:17James Acaster?

  Have done. Yeah, we've shelved it for now. We're waiting until these PMs to put it out.

• 50:22Speaker 00

  We try every week, we have him in and he always says something we can't put out.

• 50:25James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 50:26Speaker 00

  So we just, eventually we'll just have to leave it.

• 50:28James Acaster?

  Okay, so Benito was seven, Brazil Morocco was one one.

• 50:33James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, come back at him, go one one, you fucking moron.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Okay, ready? It's actually one one, so you'll be there.

• 50:39James Acaster?

  He's got one cut fever now.

• 50:41Speaker 00

  Still one point, same goal difference.

• 50:43Speaker 03

  Well done.

• 50:45James Acaster?

  You've come out of that well, Ed. With your dignity intact, well done.

• 50:48Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 50:49James Acaster?

  Well done, brother.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  I love that you were like, we will get comments. Like, that is the saddest part of your life.

• 50:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, there's people who would deliberately make those mistakes to get engagement. We should be doing that sort of thing.

• 51:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did that.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  That's why I didn't know, I knew how to pronounce Vogo de Schwann.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Just one, it's getting even funkier every time. But I commented on a podcast clip of one of the guys from Inbetweeners talking about our Skins cast. And I was a little bit salty. I said, well, because he was trying to make out we were a bit rude at T4 on the beach. We weren't. I said, we thought you guys hated us because you didn't speak to us on the coach the whole ride there. And then put some fun emojis to make it like lighthearted.

• 51:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:25Speaker 03

  Anyway, that got like 10 million likes or dislikes or whatever. And I thought, I've just handed that to them on a plate.

• 51:32James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  So you're welcome.

• 51:33Speaker 00

  Was there, was there real rivalry between Inbetweeners and Skins?

• 51:36Speaker 03

  We just thought they were a bit boring compared to us.

• 51:39Speaker 00

  Well, I mean.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  They were just quiet. They were older. We were.

• 51:41Speaker 00

  They were about 40 when they did it.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  We, no, they look great now. One of them lives in my neighbourhood. Love you. No, do you know what? We were just actual annoying kids. We were 16, 17, on a coach to T4 on the beach. And they were taking it seriously, like grownups and sitting in the back quietly.

• 51:56James Acaster?

  They were talking in the skins through this particular day.

• 51:58Speaker 03

  The story was that we were all rowdy and crazy.

• 52:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:01Speaker 03

  Just having a laugh. And they were sat in the back quietly. So that's up for debate for who's boring or not.

• 52:06Speaker 00

  Was Simon Bird going to T4 on the beach? Because that makes.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  They all went.

• 52:09Speaker 00

  Makes me laugh, Simon.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  They were all there.

• 52:11Speaker 00

  Simon Bird going to T4 on the beach is so funny.

• 52:13Speaker 03

  So, you know, we weren't being rowdy. They were just being very quiet.

• 52:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  But we did think that they hated us for a while. We were like, oh my God, Inbetweeners hate us.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, but you were the cool lot, right?

• 52:22Speaker 03

  Well, we weren't actually. We were the ones that would get like bottled on the street and stuff. People were quite aggressive with us. We didn't go out the whole time we were on Skins because it was kind of that ladiera still. And everyone assumed that we were going to be really crazy and we weren't. We were kind of, we'd hang out together and, and joke and, and we were quite chilled. We weren't nightclub-y people. But yeah, T4 on the beach was the one day of the year where we were like, let's have it. We're going to Weston Super Mare. This is gonna be epic. They didn't let us out much. So that was, that's why we'd get really excited.

• 52:56Speaker 00

  And Joe Thomas was at the back of the bus reading a book, right?

• 52:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, genuinely.

• 53:01Speaker 00

  With loads of sun cream on probably.

• 53:03James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah. His eyes closed when he's talking.

• 53:06Speaker 00

  Well, this is an opportunity to stick it to them. So then, and then they can comment on this clip.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  Yes. And then we can go back and forth only through podcast comment chats for the next 20 years. Whilst reliving the shows that we did when we were youngsters. No, I do love them. And I do think that their show was really, really great.

• 53:25James Acaster?

  The Inbetweeners?

• 53:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I loved the Inbetweeners.

• 53:27James Acaster?

  You heard it here first.

• 53:28Speaker 03

  And Theo was in the movie, Theo James, my work husband from The Gentleman. And like, yeah, I, I rate them. But we weren't being rowdy. We were just being fun.

• 53:38Speaker 00

  We're cutting all that stuff out.

• 53:39James Acaster?

  The more you say it, the more I feel like you're being rowdy on the bus.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  How rowdy can you be on a coach to T4 on the beach? It was six o'clock in the morning from Victoria.

• 53:47James Acaster?

  Hmm. How old were you guys?

• 53:49Speaker 03

  I was not quite the legal drinking age.

• 53:53James Acaster?

  Yeah, you guys would have been cocoa bananas on that, on that bus.

• 53:57Speaker 00

  That's the perfect age for drinking.

• 53:58James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:59Speaker 03

  And it was in that era where you like drink vodka Red Bulls because you think that that's a great way to party. Oh my gosh, horrific.

• 54:05James Acaster?

  Yes.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  Could not force a vodka Red Bull down me now.

• 54:08James Acaster?

  If I'm, if I'm Bird, I'm not setting foot on that coach.

• 54:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:10Speaker 03

  It was us and Brian Bello from Big Brother.

• 54:13James Acaster?

  Which one's Brian Bello?

• 54:14Speaker 03

  Brian.

• 54:15Speaker 00

  He won one of the later, no, no, no, much later series.

• 54:18Speaker 03

  From Essex. Brian, he was lovely.

• 54:20Speaker 00

  Do you have a specific type of lager that you want?

• 54:22Speaker 03

  A blonde, always. High percentage. If we're gonna do it, let's do it. We're gonna get the calories. We might as well enjoy this. Um, just cold. It's very important. And I do think we have an issue with that in this country, serving warm pints.

• 54:35James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 54:35Speaker 03

  I would like to change that. If I was ever to go into politics, that would be one of the things I'd run on.

• 54:41Speaker 00

  And that's one of the main reasons you should not go into politics.

• 54:43James Acaster?

  That's why you should.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  I'm fully aware.

• 54:45James Acaster?

  That's why you should work with them.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  Way too many skeletons in the closet. I have been on camera doing things, you know, for Skins that would never get passed.

• 54:53Speaker 00

  But that's not skeleton in the closet though.

• 54:55Speaker 03

  No, but still, no one wants to relive all that, do they?

• 54:58Speaker 00

  And the hijinks on the bus on the way to T4 on the beach, that's probably.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  Really kicked off.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. So I think, I think all pubs should, certainly in the summer, be forced to keep the pint glasses in the freezer or in the fridge.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely. I agree.

• 55:11Speaker 00

  Forced, yeah. It's a law. That's what laws are, mate.

• 55:13Speaker 03

  That's what I said.

• 55:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. Come on. Do you want to be running, mate?

• 55:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  We can do this.

• 55:17Speaker 00

  Absolutely.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  You're a bit posh, so that will work well.

• 55:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think it will. Yeah, yeah.

• 55:22James Acaster?

  Your dream dessert.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  Sticky toffee pudding.

• 55:26Speaker 00

  STP.

• 55:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:27James Acaster?

  The STP.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  Although, made one myself recently. There is a fuck ton of sugar in that.

• 55:32James Acaster?

  No.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Actually quite terrifying. Yeah.

• 55:35Speaker 00

  No way.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  It's.

• 55:36James Acaster?

  Come on.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I didn't think.

• 55:38James Acaster?

  Sticky toffee pudding?

• 55:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:39James Acaster?

  We talk about the same dessert.

• 55:41Speaker 03

  But now I'm like, oh, I'm gonna have to cut down on those because it's, it's a monster.

• 55:45James Acaster?

  It is always more than you think, isn't it?

• 55:47Speaker 03

  Go to Sainsbury's twice to get different sugars.

• 55:50James Acaster?

  In a wheelbarrow.

• 55:50Speaker 03

  Why are there three different sugars in this?

• 55:52Speaker 00

  How many sticky toffee puddings are you having that you have to think, I need to cut down on these?

• 55:56Speaker 03

  Every time I have a roast, I will order a sticky toffee pudding.

• 55:59Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  So now I'm gonna have to rethink that. I do love a banoffee pie as well.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:03James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  I've got news for you.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  What?

• 56:05Speaker 00

  Loads of sugar in that.

• 56:06James Acaster?

  Don't, don't, well, there's bananas in it, so.

• 56:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:09James Acaster?

  Good, good try.

• 56:09Speaker 03

  Bananas. I don't actually eat the bananas. I only eat the caramel, the biscuit and the cream.

• 56:13Speaker 00

  So you just have, you have an offy pie.

• 56:15Speaker 03

  I have an offy pie.

• 56:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. But no, I think the sticky toffee pudding is superior. But it's got to be done well.

• 56:20Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  You don't want one of those microwaved ones that taste kind of crispy on the outside.

• 56:25Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  When it moist.

• 56:26Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  And with a bit of ice cream. Not cream fresh. I think that's weird.

• 56:31Speaker 00

  Have you seen the guy on Instagram who reviews sticky toffee puddings?

• 56:34Speaker 03

  No, did not know about this.

• 56:35Speaker 00

  I think he's called like STP Reviews or something. But he takes it so seriously.

• 56:39Speaker 03

  STD Reviews.

• 56:40Speaker 00

  He's called STD, that's what he used to be. And then he's changed his life. STP Reviews, I think he's called something like that. Ben, you better check that because otherwise people are gonna flame us in the comments.

• 56:49James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  Think about the comments. Think of the comments!

• 56:52James Acaster?

  Scorched in the comments.

• 56:54Speaker 00

  STP dot review.

• 56:55Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 56:56Speaker 00

  He just takes it so seriously and I respect him so much. It's not like, oh, here we are. He's just like, okay, and this sticky toffee pudding.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  It's a genuine review. But that's good. I think we should do that.

• 57:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Good. You'd really like him.

• 57:08James Acaster?

  Yeah, I, I immediately want to watch that.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  I think that's.

• 57:10James Acaster?

  He's respecting the STP.

• 57:12Speaker 03

  Oh, don't put any, uh, dry fruit in it.

• 57:15Speaker 00

  No raisins.

• 57:16Speaker 03

  No raisins, no, no, thank you.

• 57:17James Acaster?

  It's fine.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  That's another thing. We're going somewhere else there with that. We're going into like Christmas pudding territory, which I hate.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  We're in spotted dick territory with that.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 57:24Speaker 00

  If you don't mind me saying.

• 57:25James Acaster?

  Uh, yeah, friend's, uh, son, he's, what is he? Six or seven?

• 57:31Speaker 00

  I thought you were saying how, how big is he?

• 57:32James Acaster?

  He's about this big.

• 57:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  That's why six year old looks so right.

• 57:35James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wide, this is how wide he is. His head.

• 57:40James Acaster?

  He loves sticky toffee puddings. But he, he learnt recently for the first time that he doesn't like it when there's fruit. He didn't know there could even be fruit in them. He got given one.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not fair to just throw that on someone. Like when they think they know a food and they know what they're about to expect. And then you throw something else in there. Not a huge fan of that. Sorry, Jamie Oliver with your, what was it? The chorizo gate?

• 58:01James Acaster?

  Oh, man.

• 58:02Speaker 00

  He's had so many gates.

• 58:03James Acaster?

  Oliver's catching so many strays in this pod.

• 58:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:06Speaker 03

  I quite like.

• 58:06James Acaster?

  Not this episode, but like every, so many episodes, he gets, Oliver catches a stray.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Isn't that just a sign that he has touched so many people?

• 58:14Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  And he's taught us so much.

• 58:16Speaker 00

  We love, we love Jamie Oliver.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's part of British food culture. I think that's a huge achievement.

• 58:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:21James Acaster?

  What did he do with the treats? I don't know about this.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  Something about he was chewing a Spanish dish and he added chorizo to it and the Spaniards got very upset about that.

• 58:27James Acaster?

  Well, then he probably deserves that one.

• 58:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:30James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  Or it wasn't a chorizo, he used something else.

• 58:32Speaker 00

  There was, and there was a whole Jack Rice situation.

• 58:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:35James Acaster?

  Uh.

• 58:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:36James Acaster?

  Okay, it's a pattern forming here.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I'm just saying, if you want the sticky toffee pudding to be a sticky toffee pudding, let it be a sticky toffee pudding.

• 58:43James Acaster?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:44James Acaster?

  You do like the classics.

• 58:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm realising that. This is really fun because I'm actually kind of realising in real time. But look, don't get me wrong. I love a seven course, weird ass tasting menu with smoke and I will try anything. I'm very good about that. I'll eat anything. Um, I love trying local dishes wherever I go in the world. Um, but I guess it's more about home comforts because I travel so much for work and I'm away so much. I love cooking. That's what grounds me. I can't meditate. I can't do yoga, any of those things. Cooking is my way of resetting. Like a bottle of wine, cooking a really complicated meal and a podcast is heaven to me. This podcast, obviously.

• 59:24James Acaster?

  Of menu.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  So I guess it's those comfort foods that I actually genuinely really do find comforting. And I do love the British culture of eating in the pub. I think there's something really special about that. And that that's kind of a family space or, you know, if you haven't seen a mate for a long time, you're like, let's go to the pub and have a lunch. There's something so warm about that. So yeah, I like the classics. Give me bangers and mash and a chicken tikka masala and those things.

• 59:48Speaker 00

  I've seen, like, we've eaten loads of tasty menu places as well and they're amazing experiences. And it's like the cooking's incredible, like mind blowing, but I never remember it like two weeks later. I'll never be like, I loved that thing we had.

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  That specific.

• 1:00:02Speaker 00

  It's always like the big dishes where you're like sharing and that's, that's the stuff that sticks in the mind, I think. You do?

• 1:00:07James Acaster?

  Yeah, I remember. Anything, anything nice.

• 1:00:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  Do you plate up at the stove or on the table?

• 1:00:15Speaker 00

  Good question. I mean, at the stove if it's, depends how many people are over.

• 1:00:18Speaker 03

  See, I am, that's such a rule in my house. The food all comes in, in, in organ, in, on the table. Family style, everyone serves themselves. Like, I love that.

• 1:00:28Speaker 00

  But then how many people are around your table though?

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  If it's like, family time, it's four of us.

• 1:00:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:34Speaker 03

  But then I, I cook quite often for mates. So there'll be like eight, nine, 10 people at a time.

• 1:00:39Speaker 00

  That's, yeah, but I don't, I don't really do that. So it's weird to be like.

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I love it. Even if it's just me and like one of my kids, I will.

• 1:00:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Put the bowl, put the food on the table and serve it at the table. But I think maybe that's cultural.

• 1:00:52James Acaster?

  No, but as soon as you said it, I'm like, yeah, that's better.

• 1:00:55Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 1:00:55James Acaster?

  That's definitely better. Like, I, I'm plating up at the stove because it's normally just two of us or like, maybe there's a mate round or whatever, but like, definitely just the thought of being at a table with all the different dishes there and everyone serving themselves and getting stuck in is clearly the best.

• 1:01:08Speaker 03

  What's beautiful about food is it's so many senses, right? It's visual, it's the smell, it's the taste of it, obviously. But I actually visually love looking at food. I think it's really interesting when you put everything together and can admire the textures. And especially with Brazilian cooking, which is why I love it so much. It's colourful, it's bright, it's interesting. And there's a dish I make called Bobo de Camarão, which is in a pumpkin. So I'll carve out a pumpkin and serve it in the pumpkin.

• 1:01:31James Acaster?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:01:31Speaker 03

  Um, which sounds mad, right? And like a huge waste of time, but I love seeing it on the table at the end and going, that's so cool. That there's a pumpkin on the table.

• 1:01:40James Acaster?

  Did you cook the pumpkin as well?

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  No, pumpkin's not even one of the ingredients.

• 1:01:43James Acaster?

  So that's just there as a bowl?

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  It's just a vessel for the thing.

• 1:01:47Speaker 00

  So what are you doing with the pumpkin after?

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  What do you do with the pumpkin? Well, I could, I could empty it and put a candle in it.

• 1:01:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  In March.

• 1:01:55Speaker 00

  Just wait till Halloween.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  Wait till Halloween. They go mouldy now though, don't they?

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  It's too warm in October now. Climate change, should we talk about that?

• 1:02:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, let's talk about that. It's ruining Halloween.

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  Ruining my pumpkins at Halloween.

• 1:02:08James Acaster?

  I went to New York once, like, a couple of weeks after Halloween and everyone still had their pumpkins on their doorstep and they were rank.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:14James Acaster?

  I was just walking around New York, just like, what are we doing here?

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  Well, that's spookier though, isn't it?

• 1:02:19James Acaster?

  It was really spooky.

• 1:02:19Speaker 00

  Really, you should put them out end of September and let them get really stinky by Halloween. I think that's perfect.

• 1:02:24James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, it's everything's disgusting.

• 1:02:28James Acaster?

  Um, I'm gonna read your menu back to you now.

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  Okay, great, because I've forgotten it all.

• 1:02:31James Acaster?

  Let's see, well, I've, I've got it all written down here. You would like a big bottle of sparkling water. You would like, um, oh, I can't pronounce the bread.

• 1:02:39Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  Go on, you can.

• 1:02:40James Acaster?

  Twelve powdered.

• 1:02:42Speaker 00

  Twelve, you got twelve, well done.

• 1:02:43Speaker 03

  Power.

• 1:02:43James Acaster?

  Pow, pow, powdered queso.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Queso, powdered queso.

• 1:02:49James Acaster?

  Powdered queso.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's good.

• 1:02:51James Acaster?

  Starter, bad but not bad prawn cocktail.

• 1:02:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:55James Acaster?

  Main course, radicchio.

• 1:02:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's go with that.

• 1:02:58James Acaster?

  Hmm. Side dish, cauliflower cheese with almonds on top. Drink a cold, high percentage blonde lager. Dessert, sticky toffee pudding with ice cream.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  And no fruit?

• 1:03:08James Acaster?

  No fruit in it.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:10James Acaster?

  No fruit in it, no raisins and no creme fraiche ice cream.

• 1:03:14Speaker 03

  What do you think? How do I, how did I do?

• 1:03:17Speaker 00

  Absolutely delicious. I like, I'm glad you didn't pick the Sunday roast.

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:22Speaker 00

  Because I think then that would have been like the top hits of all of.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:25Speaker 00

  The menus we've had, but you've got, you've got to pick your choice.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Speaker 00

  And I'm glad we got to speak about, uh, got to speak about the skewers.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  Okay, cool. I'm glad too.

• 1:03:33James Acaster?

  Yeah, I think all of that's very nice.

• 1:03:35Speaker 00

  Really delicious.

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  Where do I go for the bit where they cook it all and I get to eat it?

• 1:03:39Speaker 00

  Uh, that's a different podcast. Yeah, we don't host that one.

• 1:03:42James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  Well, I'm hungry now.

• 1:03:44James Acaster?

  Yeah, sorry about that.

• 1:03:46Speaker 03

  That's good, it's lunchtime.

• 1:03:47Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, we like to send people into the world feeling hungry. Yeah.

• 1:03:51James Acaster?

  You gonna watch football tonight?

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  Uh, I'm going to, well, no, I'm busy tonight. I'm gonna watch the England game tomorrow.

• 1:03:57James Acaster?

  What are you doing? Tell the listeners what you're up to.

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  What am I doing tonight? I'm going to the pub. But non-football pub.

• 1:04:03James Acaster?

  Some blonde lagers.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  It's blonde lagers.

• 1:04:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:06James Acaster?

  Sounds good to me. Uh, if people want to hang out with me, I'm gonna go and see, see a gig.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  Oh, you can see it.

• 1:04:12James Acaster?

  Grace Ives at the Village Underground.

• 1:04:15Speaker 00

  I'm going as well now.

• 1:04:16James Acaster?

  Ed, Ed's coming along. It's a friend of ours, hurt his foot and can't walk. So Ed's took the ticket.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  Good for you.

• 1:04:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  Not good for him.

• 1:04:24James Acaster?

  No, no.

• 1:04:25Speaker 00

  Thank you very much, Kaya.

• 1:04:26Speaker 03

  Thanks, guys.

• 1:04:27James Acaster?

  Thanks, Kaya.

• 1:04:27Speaker 03

  Cheers.

• 1:04:35Speaker 00

  Thank you so much to Kaya for coming on the pod, James.

• 1:04:37James Acaster?

  What a wonderful comforting meal.

• 1:04:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, nice.

• 1:04:40James Acaster?

  I wanna eat all those meats.

• 1:04:42Speaker 00

  I'm feeling in a Brazilian mood now.

• 1:04:44James Acaster?

  Oh, are you?

• 1:04:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm gonna go and eat Brazilian food.

• 1:04:47James Acaster?

  Yeah, that's nice while watching them in the World Cup, maybe?

• 1:04:50Speaker 00

  And with not a pubic hair in sight.

• 1:04:53James Acaster?

  Uh, okay. So, uh, thank you, Kaya, for not saying codskins as well.

• 1:04:58Speaker 00

  Yes, thank you, Kaya.

• 1:04:59James Acaster?

  Really happy about that. Means we didn't have to kick you out.

• 1:05:02Speaker 00

  And we can tell you that The Gentleman Series Two starts September third on Netflix.

• 1:05:07James Acaster?

  Go and see Ed Gamble on tour, edgamble.co.uk, starts in January, Fresh Hell.

• 1:05:12Speaker 00

  Thank you, James. Go and see James.

• 1:05:14James Acaster?

  No, my tour, my tour's over.

• 1:05:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, but go, just go see him.

• 1:05:18James Acaster?

  Don't go and see me. Give me some time on my own now.

• 1:05:21Speaker 00

  Pay the guy a visit.

• 1:05:22James Acaster?

  I'm done. The, the tour's done. You can't see me anymore.

• 1:05:26Speaker 00

  Oh, and a lot of shout outs to Benito's coffee making skills. Uh, but of course the quality of the coffee is very important. And Benito wants us to let you know that he buys the coffee from Elsewhere Coffee in Deptford.

• 1:05:36James Acaster?

  Yeah, he loves it. And it was very lovely and chocolatey the other day.

• 1:05:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40James Acaster?

  Um, we exclaimed upon it, so go and buy your coffee from there, I guess, even though we're not sponsored by it, he genuinely buys it from there. So this isn't like a promo thing.

• 1:05:49Speaker 00

  It's a clever name for a coffee shop as well.

• 1:05:51James Acaster?

  Recommend something.

• 1:05:52Speaker 00

  It's a clever name for a coffee shop.

• 1:05:54James Acaster?

  Elsewhere.

• 1:05:55Speaker 00

  It's when people storm out of other coffee shops, they go, I'm gonna go elsewhere.

• 1:05:58James Acaster?

  Oh, love it.

• 1:05:59Speaker 00

  That's good, isn't it?

• 1:06:00James Acaster?

  That is good.

• 1:06:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:01James Acaster?

  Yeah, I'm gonna go elsewhere. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm going there.

• 1:06:06Speaker 00

  Edgamble.co.uk.