Sanjeev Bhaskar

We’re in National Treasure territory again as we welcome British comedy royalty Sanjeev Bhaskar to the Dream Restaurant. The ‘Goodness Gracious Me’ and ‘Taskmaster’ star makes James laugh more than he ever has on the podcast, we think. Sanjeev Bhaskar stars in ‘The Split Up’ which launches on 20 September on BBC iPlayer and BBC One. The Split Up’s story and characters are created by Ursula Rani Sarma, based on The Split, created by multiple award-winning Abi Morgan. Follow Sanjeev on Instagram @tvsanjeev https://www.instagram.com/tvsanjeev Watch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast. Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcast https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast Follow Off Menu on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/offmenuofficial and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@offmenuofficial: @offmenuofficial. And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk https://www.offmenupodcast.co.uk/ for a list of restaurants recommended on the show. Ed Gamble is on tour in 2027 with ‘Fresh Hell’. For dates and tickets go to edgamble.co.uk https://edgamble.co.uk/ Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster. Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Video production by Ben Williams and Megan McCarthy for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Artwork by Paul Gilbey https://www.instagram.com/pushgilbey/ (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hello, it's Ed here from the Off Menu podcast that you are listening to right now. You'll know that I'm doing a brand new stand-up comedy show on tour next year, Fresh Hell. And we are delighted to announce that we are doing two more shows at the London Palladium, Friday the 19th of March, Saturday the 20th of March. You've got to come to these shows, they're going to be great, they're on sale now. Edgamble.co.uk for ticket details.

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• 1:38Speaker 00

  Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the lettuce leaves of conversation, adding the croutons of friendship, the Caesar dressing of humour and, if you so fancy, the chicken of chat.

• 1:54James Acaster?

  That is Ed Gamble, my name is James Acaster, together we own a dream restaurant every single week. We invite a guest and ask them their favourite ever start, main course, dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is Sanjeev Bhaskar. National Trez.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  Is that?

• 2:13James Acaster?

  National Trez.

• 2:15Speaker 00

  National Trez, of course, Sanjeev Bhaskar, what a legend.

• 2:18James Acaster?

  Very excited to have Sanjeev in. We've had Mira Syle on the podcast, so this is like the second, goodness gracious me and Kumars alum that we've had on.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  Both big shows for us growing up.

• 2:30James Acaster?

  Huge shows for us growing up. I think our generation of comedians like goodness gracious me and the Kumars is like just on the Mount Rushmore.

• 2:40Speaker 00

  Totally. And Sanjeev, of course, is now an amazing actor in many other things. He's been in films, he's done loads of TV, he was on Taskmaster, of course.

• 2:51James Acaster?

  Of course, and he's going to be in The Split Up, which is out later this month on BBC One and iPlayer, of course, created by Abby Morgan, Mitu Ayah's in it, also friends of the podcast, Lenny Henry, my one of his one, Sindhu V.

• 3:06Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:07James Acaster?

  So there's a lot of great cast members in it, Sanjeev is the lead as well, so we'll be asking him more about that.

• 3:13Speaker 00

  The Split Up is a spin-off in the same universe as The Split with Nicola Walker and Stephen Mangan.

• 3:19James Acaster?

  But not in the same universe as Split.

• 3:21Speaker 00

  No.

• 3:22James Acaster?

  The film where James McAvoy has multiple personalities and kidnaps those girls.

• 3:27Speaker 00

  But that is in the same universe as Unbreakable and Glass.

• 3:32James Acaster?

  And Glass, of course.

• 3:34Speaker 00

  And Old.

• 3:36James Acaster?

  That's not been confirmed, but it probably is in the same universe as Old, where they all go old on the beach. They turn really old on the beach, really quick.

• 3:47Speaker 00

  Really too quickly, it's not just like people on the beach for five years and they're five years older.

• 3:52James Acaster?

  No, it's a beach that makes you old really quick. And it turns out it was Big Pharma.

• 3:57Speaker 00

  As in pharmaceuticals.

• 3:58James Acaster?

  Yes, not a giant, not the Jolly Green Giant, who could also be seen as a Big Pharma.

• 4:03Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 4:04James Acaster?

  The Jolly Green Giant is the biggest pharma of them all. Here's the thing though, we love Sanjeev, but if he says a secret ingredient, which we deem to be unacceptable, we will have to kick him out of the dream restaurant.

• 4:13Speaker 00

  I don't want to do that today.

• 4:14James Acaster?

  I don't want to do that.

• 4:15Speaker 00

  No.

• 4:15James Acaster?

  And that is why the secret ingredient is?

• 4:17Speaker 00

  Banana split. The split up.

• 4:20James Acaster?

  It's called The Split Up, so we chose a banana split.

• 4:22Speaker 00

  It's not about banana splits, though.

• 4:24James Acaster?

  We love banana splits.

• 4:25Speaker 00

  It's about like the high-profile divorce circuit in Manchester.

• 4:29James Acaster?

  And also like.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  It's not about banana splits.

• 4:31James Acaster?

  This isn't like, sometimes the secret ingredient is just like linked to something about the guest. In this case, the show that Sanjeev is about to appear on, but like, we love banana splits, obviously, they're delicious, they're one of the best foods.

• 4:44Speaker 00

  I couldn't tell you the last time I had one, though.

• 4:46James Acaster?

  No, I can tell you the first time I had one, because it was incredible, I spoke about it on the podcast before, I really think, I genuinely think it was the length of my arm, the banana split. And so much ice cream, I was so proud that I finished it. Absolutely delicious, I wish I could have those again at a meal with my cousins, I remember my cousins being there.

• 5:09Speaker 00

  You'd have to really go some distance, find a banana split, the length of your arm, now.

• 5:15James Acaster?

  It's a long arm.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  It's a long arm.

• 5:16James Acaster?

  But I would love a banana split, as long as that.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  Would you want it to be one banana, though?

• 5:22James Acaster?

  No, I'd want it to be a bunch of different bananas and then loads of really big scoops of ice cream, each one a different flavour.

• 5:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:29James Acaster?

  Go heavy on the cream, but really good cream, like, you know, just like really squirty cream, but high quality.

• 5:38Speaker 00

  High quality squirt.

• 5:39James Acaster?

  And then loads of sauce, like a hot fudge in there, and I want chopped nuts on the top, I want some sprinkles, just, you know.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  M&M's?

• 5:49James Acaster?

  Maybe crush up some M&M's.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Peanut M&M's.

• 5:53James Acaster?

  Peanut regular and peanut butter M&M's, put them in a blender and put those over the banana split.

• 5:59Speaker 00

  So if Sanjeev says that, he's out.

• 6:01James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 6:02Speaker 00

  I'm on tour next year, Ed Gamble, Fresh Hell.

• 6:04James Acaster?

  Oh, great. I mean, not much going on over here.

• 6:09Speaker 00

  This is the Off Menu menu of Sanjeev Bhaskar.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  That was a good clap.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  Thank you, I was really proud of that clap.

• 6:24Speaker 04

  It was, it was clean, yes. Sometimes you get a double thing sometimes.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, it felt like I had that little pocket of air, I think that was the, that's the key to a good clap.

• 6:34James Acaster?

  Is this going to be the first episode where we start with the clap?

• 6:37Speaker 00

  Maybe.

• 6:37James Acaster?

  We keep the clap in?

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, because normally I'll do like, welcome Sanjeev to the dream restaurant.

• 6:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:42James Acaster?

  But. Welcome Sanjeev Bhaskar to the dream restaurant, but it's been a bit of some time. That's normally how we start.

• 6:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, but we're starting with the clap this time.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, you can have both, obviously, but.

• 6:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's options, there's options there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:54James Acaster?

  The listeners won't know that normally it starts with a clap, that Ben asks one of us to do a clap, so he syncs up all the cameras, because now he's a YouTuber, Ben is. We're not.

• 7:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're not.

• 7:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  He puts us on YouTube.

• 7:05Speaker 04

  Oh, he puts you on YouTube.

• 7:07James Acaster?

  He's a YouTuber.

• 7:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  How do you feel about, are you a YouTube watcher, Sanjeev?

• 7:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I dip into YouTube, yeah.

• 7:13Speaker 00

  What's your algorithm, what sort of things get thrown up for you quite a lot?

• 7:18Speaker 04

  Old adverts, right, from the 70s and 80s.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 04

  The usual kind of cat and other animal mishaps come up quite a bit. It's weird on my Instagram, actually, because that algorithm works really quickly. So at the moment, for some reason, I'm getting a lot of girl fights.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  I think I watched one and so it's giving me loads of kind of girl fights from around the world.

• 7:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  It's weirdly kind of intriguing, because you're going to go do kind of, you know, girls in Asia fight differently to girls in America.

• 7:52Speaker 00

  They're different styles.

• 7:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:54James Acaster?

  It must be weird when you're watching your old adverts on YouTube and it's getting interrupted by current adverts as well.

• 8:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is, well, also the old adverts, they tend to be the good old ones.

• 8:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:04Speaker 04

  No one puts up, you know, some insurance advert, kind of like 1978. But, you know, whether it's kind of car adverts particularly, they were just made in a different way then.

• 8:15James Acaster?

  Yeah. Who were the two, dad and a daughter, what were they called? Nicole and Papa?

• 8:22Speaker 04

  Nicole and Papa.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  Papa and Nicole.

• 8:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:24James Acaster?

  That was a huge thing, a whole running story.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Thierry Henry, wasn't it?

• 8:27Speaker 00

  Thierry Henry, yeah.

• 8:28James Acaster?

  Henri got involved.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was Papa, I think, well, he was in those adverts, yeah.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:33Speaker 00

  Was it René Cleo?

• 8:35James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 8:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 04

  Good recall, yeah.

• 8:38James Acaster?

  So were they a couple, was it a dad and a daughter?

• 8:41Speaker 04

  Well, Papa kind of infers a particular relationship, I mean, there are others where that may not be the case, but that's a bit more kind of.

• 8:49Speaker 00

  But yeah, I think it was dad and daughter back then, because this was a long time ago, this is now, there's like other insinuations, right?

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  But now, yeah, it was back in the, back in the good old days when Papa only meant father.

• 9:03James Acaster?

  And they would just say each other's names, is what I remember. They would just say Nicole Papa all the time.

• 9:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right, yeah. Nobody said René Cleo at any point at all.

• 9:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. Because as we're recording this, yesterday was the eclipse, the big eclipse.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:17James Acaster?

  I looked at it.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  So obviously.

• 9:19James Acaster?

  I looked at it.

• 9:20Speaker 00

  You're straight at it.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  Straight at it.

• 9:21James Acaster?

  I looked out my window, I thought it froze my eyes.

• 9:25James Acaster?

  I looked dead at it.

• 9:25Speaker 04

  I mean, that does explain quite a bit.

• 9:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:29Speaker 04

  Saves me asking half a dozen questions.

• 9:31James Acaster?

  I went to bed with one ear ringing.

• 9:33Speaker 04

  Did you?

• 9:33James Acaster?

  I think it's because I looked at the eclipse.

• 9:35Speaker 04

  But there was a meteor shower as well.

• 9:37James Acaster?

  I didn't see that.

• 9:38Speaker 00

  Was there?

• 9:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, from, I think from 1am till 4 or something, I don't know.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  Well, he's not seeing that, he's froze his eyes.

• 9:43James Acaster?

  I froze my eyes, my ear was ringing.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  You were seeing them at 8 o'clock?

• 9:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 00

  But that because because of the whole eclipse business, um, the advert that was going around in my head all day yesterday was full moon, half moon, total eclipse, the Jaffa cake advert.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  Oh, yes.

• 9:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  Very good. Yeah, yeah.

• 10:01James Acaster?

  Yeah, I remember that.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  And I just kept saying it over and over again, to the extent my wife was like, you've just got to shut up now.

• 10:06Speaker 04

  Oh, you said it out loud?

• 10:07Speaker 00

  Oh, all the time. Yeah.

• 10:08Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 10:08Speaker 00

  I just, yeah, just out loud, full moon, half moon, total eclipse. Uh, we didn't have any Jaffa cakes in, but I got a baby bell out the fridge. So I did it. I performed the advert.

• 10:16James Acaster?

  Yeah. For people who don't remember the advert, it was a school teacher.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:20James Acaster?

  With a Jaffa cake, teaching her kids about the moon.

• 10:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:24James Acaster?

  And she would go full moon.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:26James Acaster?

  And then she would bite out of it, half moon.

• 10:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:28James Acaster?

  And then she would eat it and say total eclipse.

• 10:29Speaker 00

  Total eclipse.

• 10:30Speaker 04

  That's how science used to be taught.

• 10:32James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 04

  Schools. It was always kind of with a demonstration of some kind.

• 10:36James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  Usually with food.

• 10:37James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  And then your papa would pick you up at the end of the day.

• 10:40Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 10:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. So, yeah, so that's, that's the advert. That's one of my faves, I think, that was going over in my head yesterday. Yeah.

• 10:45James Acaster?

  Yeah, that's how we get on the food, see?

• 10:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  Very nicely done.

• 10:48James Acaster?

  We always get on the food.

• 10:50Speaker 00

  Well.

• 10:50James Acaster?

  Do you like Jaffa cakes?

• 10:51Speaker 04

  What a segue. I do like Jaffa cakes. Yeah. I have recently had Jaffa cake gin.

• 10:56James Acaster?

  Oh.

• 10:57Speaker 04

  So if you like Jaffa cakes.

• 10:58James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 10:59Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  And you like gin.

• 11:00James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  I mean, it's the perfect.

• 11:02James Acaster?

  That sounds good.

• 11:02Speaker 04

  Product for you.

• 11:03Speaker 00

  Was this, was this purchased from somewhere or was it like a homemade thing?

• 11:06Speaker 04

  No, purchased. You can actually go out and buy it.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:09James Acaster?

  And was it a collab? So was it actual proper official Jaffa cakes getting involved with a gin company? Or were they just able to just be like?

• 11:17Speaker 04

  No, that's a good question. I mean, there wasn't any of the Jaffa cake logo.

• 11:21James Acaster?

  Hmm.

• 11:21Speaker 04

  On it, but the word Jaffa cake was, I don't know if that's been, you know, um, what do you call it? When you.

• 11:28James Acaster?

  Copyright.

• 11:29Speaker 04

  Copyrighted, yeah.

• 11:30James Acaster?

  Got it if it's not.

• 11:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:31James Acaster?

  They spent all their time proving they were a cake, but they actually forgot to copyright the name.

• 11:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:36James Acaster?

  Oh, no. We got sowing the weeds about what we were.

• 11:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:39James Acaster?

  Now we're gonna use our name, idiots. Our priorities are all over the shop. They're making gin now without, I'll say so.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  So when the teacher bites through the Jaffa cake, what, what she's doing is she's splitting the Jaffa cake, of course.

• 11:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  So we should talk about the split.

• 11:55Speaker 04

  Oh, I mean, this.

• 11:57James Acaster?

  I'm not gonna say that's very good. That was, that was, that's the most convoluted.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  You do way worse ones than that.

• 12:02James Acaster?

  And I do absolute, mine are smooth.

• 12:04Speaker 00

  No.

• 12:05James Acaster?

  People always compliment me on them.

• 12:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, I always compliment them.

• 12:07Speaker 04

  Okay, well, I'll tell you what.

• 12:08James Acaster?

  Yeah, thank you.

• 12:08Speaker 04

  This is, this is, so would you like to attempt a segue from Jaffa cake into the split up?

• 12:14James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:15Speaker 04

  Go on then.

• 12:15James Acaster?

  Of course, when the teacher bites into the Jaffa cake, it splits the Jaffa cake. Let's talk about the split up.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Great segue, man.

• 12:22Speaker 04

  Fantastic.

• 12:25James Acaster?

  Pretty good.

• 12:25Speaker 04

  God, you know, if only someone else had thought of that.

• 12:27James Acaster?

  Yeah. Yeah, well, not everyone can. Best in the game.

• 12:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, the split up. Yeah, it's a kind of, well, there was a series called The Split.

• 12:35James Acaster?

  Thank you.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  Which was about matriarchal, uh, family of divorce lawyers.

• 12:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:41Speaker 04

  And this is in the same universe, it's The Split Up, and it's a patriarchal family of lawyers.

• 12:48James Acaster?

  Great.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  And I'm the patriarch in it.

• 12:51James Acaster?

  How do you feel now that you are, you're a patriarch in something? Because you've played, well, for me, growing up, uh, Kumars was a big deal, very important.

• 13:00Speaker 04

  Oh, cheers.

• 13:01James Acaster?

  But, uh, you had a patriarchal figure in that.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right.

• 13:04James Acaster?

  Uh, and now, and now it's you.

• 13:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:07James Acaster?

  Now you are that guy.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm depressed.

• 13:11Speaker 04

  Joining those two dots together.

• 13:14Speaker 00

  Different sorts of patriarchal figures, I'd imagine.

• 13:16Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:17Speaker 00

  How often in the split up are you just asking people for directions or asking them how they got there?

• 13:22James Acaster?

  That guy was funny.

• 13:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:25James Acaster?

  That guy. Every week I'd look forward to him telling a story that was pointless and then looking at them really pleased. It was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen in my life.

• 13:34Speaker 04

  I'll tell you where that, where that originated.

• 13:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, please.

• 13:36Speaker 04

  Was that my dad had a friend who, when he came around, uh, his name was Santhalk. Uh, he would always be telling a story which would suddenly turn left in the middle of it. And me and my sister would be going, what? And the two that I remember where he said, um, and he always started it in a very jovial kind of like tone and, and he'd go. That reminds me of a hilarious story from my village in India when I was growing up. Uh, there was a, a man in the village who had a very large head. He always used to wear a tiny hat. The hat was just balancing on his head, you know, the whole time like that. Cancer got him in three months.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  So that one, the other one I remember was, he said, uh, it reminds me of a hilarious fellow who was in my village, uh, in, in India. And, uh, he had, uh, he had one arm much longer than the other one, you know, from one side it was very long, the other side not so much. And he, he was killed the instant the train hit him. And so it was that thing of kind of going, I don't know what to say now. And so.

• 14:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 04

  I remember with, with the dad in the Kumars, that's what we kind of saddled him with. And it was just.

• 14:47James Acaster?

  I still, every time I watch football, think of here come the boots, here come the boots.

• 14:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right.

• 14:52James Acaster?

  As well, one of his story ended, because he, he had some football boots and every time he got the ball, people would shout, here come the boots, here come the boots.

• 14:58Speaker 04

  And that was it.

• 14:58James Acaster?

  And then he just looked at them, looked at the guest really pleased.

• 15:02Speaker 04

  That might have been Gary Lineker that said that too. He just, I don't know what to say. But that was all, that's what we wanted always.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:09James Acaster?

  And now that's you in the split up.

• 15:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, that's exactly the same character.

• 15:13Speaker 04

  If only, if only. Uh, yeah, no, the, the, the patriarch I play is kind of like, you know, takes himself quite seriously.

• 15:22James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  So he's gonna, you know, his kids are all lawyers as well. They're all involved in the firm. So, uh, it's that weird thing where do you treat them as employees or do you treat them as kids?

• 15:31James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 15:31Speaker 04

  Kids. So that's part of the setup.

• 15:34James Acaster?

  The cast is amazing for it.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:36James Acaster?

  There's so many like Sindhu's in it, Mawan, Lenny Henry.

• 15:39Speaker 04

  That's right. Yeah, yeah.

• 15:40James Acaster?

  That, that, they're only the people who've been on this podcast.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  I was gonna say, all three of them have been on.

• 15:44Speaker 00

  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:46James Acaster?

  And Ritu's in it as well, who I love. Um, worked with her like 10 years ago and only just saw her again recently. Um, and she's doing great. She was in Barbie and.

• 15:54Speaker 04

  Yeah. What, what did you work with her on?

• 15:57James Acaster?

  Uh, I, I did a, I wrote a pilot for a sitcom and Ritu was a, other parts in it. And she also like was involved in the, uh, the office run for as well, doing that. She was like right from the beginning. Um, and she's brilliant. And I'd seen, seen her at a, uh, a night in London where her and this other guy, whose name I forget, were doing like a double act. Like sketch thing was quite, quite a dark comedy. And she was so funny and, and really wanted her in that sitcom. It's just great now seeing her popping up in everything and, uh.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  She, she very, and I hope this isn't talking out of turn, but she showed me, uh, on a phone video of her when she was nine or 10 years old. With, I think her cousins maybe, doing sketches from Goodness Gracious Me.

• 16:40James Acaster?

  Oh, wow.

• 16:41Speaker 04

  And calling themselves the Goodness Gracious Me kids.

• 16:44James Acaster?

  Oh, that's so amazing. Yeah.

• 16:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, that we get to work together years later.

• 16:48James Acaster?

  I mean, what, what's it like having like created something like that that still has, you can just see the legacy of it still? Not a lot of people can say that, you know, is that a lot of people who've like had sketch shows, sitcoms, whatever. And can't literally look around at the comedy landscape and see their influence. Do you ever take a moment to?

• 17:07Speaker 04

  I mean, it's, it's weird because, you know, when you, as you know, when you're making something or you're, you, you don't know where it's gonna go. You don't know how it's gonna be received. And so you pour everything into making of it, you know, have as much fun as you can. And then whatever happens, happens. So the fact that 27 odd years later. That people still remember the sketches or, you know, is kind of remarkable. And also that, you know, people very generously like. Ramesh and Nish and people like that will kind of like reference it. Um, because they've all got stellar careers and they're doing what they do. And so. I'm sure they, they would have made it anyway, but, uh, it's, it is humbling to be part of that journey because, yeah, you're right. I mean, in terms of.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  Especially in comedy, which is so disposable as well. Um, to have people still remember something you did fondly rather than, oh yeah, that was shit. Is, is, yeah, it's really nice.

• 18:00James Acaster?

  Are you much of a foodie, Sanji?

• 18:03Speaker 04

  Total foodie.

• 18:03James Acaster?

  Yeah?

• 18:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, love food.

• 18:05Speaker 00

  You love tuna melts? We know that.

• 18:06James Acaster?

  Oh, we just, we agreed we weren't gonna bring that up.

• 18:09Speaker 00

  No, you said you wanted to bring it up.

• 18:10James Acaster?

  Oh, no.

• 18:11Speaker 00

  You just went out for a tuna melt.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  Oh, God, you had to bring out the tuna.

• 18:15James Acaster?

  He had one.

• 18:15Speaker 04

  Painful memory that, yeah, um, yeah, no, only because I arrived really early and I didn't know what to do. And so I thought, yeah, tuna melt.

• 18:23Speaker 00

  Tuna melt time.

• 18:24Speaker 04

  I think whenever you're early for something.

• 18:26James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  Tuna melt.

• 18:27James Acaster?

  Really?

• 18:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:29Speaker 00

  That's a good rule.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:30Speaker 00

  That's a good rule for life.

• 18:31James Acaster?

  Have you seen Heated Rivalry?

• 18:33Speaker 04

  No, I haven't.

• 18:33James Acaster?

  Heated Rivalry.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  Is Heated Rivalry? Oh, that's a, a culinary.

• 18:37James Acaster?

  No, no, no, it's a, it's a hockey.

• 18:40Speaker 04

  Hockey?

• 18:41James Acaster?

  Yeah, it's hockey. It's a Canadian, uh.

• 18:44Speaker 00

  Ice, ice hockey.

• 18:45James Acaster?

  Ice hockey.

• 18:46Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:46James Acaster?

  And like two of the players are secretly in love with each other and it follows their romance. Um.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  I've not seen it, but it's, it seems like mainly just fucking to me.

• 18:57James Acaster?

  There's a lot of fucking in it. And, but that's the thing is that, you know, to begin with, their relationship seems purely physical.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 19:04James Acaster?

  And one of them is very much trying to make out like that's all it is to him.

• 19:07Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 19:08James Acaster?

  But then there's a moment where he makes the other guy a tuna melt.

• 19:12Speaker 04

  I was wondering when we.

• 19:13James Acaster?

  And you can tell.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  Some sort of link.

• 19:15James Acaster?

  You can tell that he's actually been paying attention to what this guy eats and that he mainly just like will order fish and, and doesn't like certain types of food. So he's made in that and it's a little sign that actually he cares and pays more attention to him than he lets off.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  Maybe I've, maybe I've misrepresented it though.

• 19:33Speaker 04

  Well, I.

• 19:33James Acaster?

  And then they fuck.

• 19:34Speaker 04

  No, well, I'm grateful that I don't now have to watch it.

• 19:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:38James Acaster?

  That's not the main thing. It's not the finale is that one of them makes me have a tuna melt.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  You built up to a tuna melt.

• 19:43James Acaster?

  Yeah, maybe it is.

• 19:44Speaker 04

  And then shagging.

• 19:45James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 19:46Speaker 00

  I recently did a live script read through of an episode of Heated Rivalry.

• 19:50Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 19:50Speaker 00

  Um, because, uh, two comedians, Catherine Bohart and Olga Cock, run a podcast about heated rivalry called Tonsill Hockey. And they did live read throughs with comedians. And I'd never seen Heated Rivalry and I played one of the main characters and there's some stuff in there that genuinely made me blush. Really made me blush. Those guys are going for it.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. They do go for it.

• 20:12Speaker 00

  This was episode two we were reading through.

• 20:14Speaker 04

  Blimey.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  It's not a will they, won't they? It's they, it's they have and they're gonna do it again.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  When will they?

• 20:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  When will they again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long until the next one? And what are they gonna eat before? Yeah, yeah. I actually think I've misrepresented it. I think the tuna melt is afterwards. I'm flipping it. They have sex and then they- Post-coital tuna melt. Yeah, then he makes them a tuna melt.

• 20:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 04

  Wow. I mean, that, that sounds kind of, you know, great for the person who's receiving. The tuna melt. Not so great for the person who's giving, yeah.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  Who's receiving the tuna melt.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  If you like.

• 20:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like post-coital, like someone making you a tuna melt, what an amazing feeling.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, but for the person who's gonna get up and go, right. We got, have we got any tuna? Oh, yeah, yeah. Do I add onions? Yeah, yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 00

  And you can't ask them loads of questions about the tuna melt, cause then that takes the whole romance out of it, doesn't it?

• 21:03Speaker 04

  Hundred percent. There you go, I've noticed. You're, you're allergic to, uh, keemin? Yeah. Oh. Keemin.

• 21:11Speaker 00

  Kees are wild things put in a tuna melt, but I think it would work.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  Yeah. Keemin, yeah, that's my favourite. This is the expert.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, absolutely. He loves tuna melts. I, I love keemin.

• 21:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:20Speaker 04

  Yeah? Yeah, I'll add keemin to most things. Oh, maybe we're gonna see it pop up in your dream menu. It might well do.

• 21:28Speaker 04

  Still a sparkling water? Uh, sparkling, I think because as a kid, I mean, sparkling was just, it was unheard of in the sort of like working class sort of upbringing I had, you know, and so it felt like it was kind of a treat and it was special. Fizzy drinks were, you know, so it was, we had mostly at home, we had cordials, so we had Ribena and sort of, you know, um, orange squash and stuff like that. Lots of various Robinsons.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  Sort of-

• 21:55Speaker 00

  Barley water, we into the barley water?

• 21:57Speaker 04

  Barley water we didn't have as well, that didn't get used up quite as quick as-

• 22:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, not.

• 22:00Speaker 04

  No, not as much as the- Barley water was banging, man, that's crazy. I mean, it's good, I, I liked it, but the, the, the orange squash or a fruit squash.

• 22:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. Kind of like- The summer fruits one, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was kind of very, very vague.

• 22:13Speaker 00

  What's happened to squash? I mean, I'm only speaking about my life.

• 22:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:17Speaker 00

  But I think I probably used to drink eight pints of squash a day when I was a kid.

• 22:20Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 22:21Speaker 00

  I would neck that stuff.

• 22:22Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 22:23Speaker 00

  Now-

• 22:23Speaker 04

  What, sorry, in pint glasses or?

• 22:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, I would have a pint, I would have a pint glass, yeah, yeah. Make it strong as well. Neck it, or just glugging it.

• 22:32Speaker 04

  I, I still do buy squashes.

• 22:34Speaker 00

  You, you buy the squashes?

• 22:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, I do. There's a really nice mint and lime one. Whoa. That I think Robinsons do. Still on the Robinsons train? Well, I mean, you know, they nailed it, didn't they?

• 22:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, they did.

• 22:47Speaker 04

  Um, did they also do jam? Is that the same kind of Robinsons jam? Surely not.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  What, the marmalade, who's the marmalade crew?

• 22:56Speaker 04

  Same.

• 22:56Speaker 00

  Robertson's.

• 22:57Speaker 04

  Robertson's. Don't, are they still associated with tennis? Oh, that's a good question. Cause they were up there. Always at Wimbledon, wasn't it?

• 23:02Speaker 00

  It was always at Wimbledon.

• 23:03Speaker 04

  Yeah. That was-

• 23:05Speaker 00

  They have Rolex at Wimbledon now, I think.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Is it now?

• 23:08Speaker 00

  They've moved on, so they've moved on to Rolex away from Robinsons.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  That seems less practical in the middle of a, yeah, game, isn't it? I mean, that's gonna weigh your wrist down. Do you wanna watch? That's, that's good affection. Ask me what the time is. Yeah. Massive old Rolex for you, this, while playing tennis. No, thank you. You wanna quench your thirst?

• 23:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. You wanna glug a squash. But yeah, I used to drink so much of it.

• 23:28Speaker 04

  So, yeah, so the, uh, the mint and lime one. That sounds good. With sparkling water. Would you like, that's your dream? Yeah. Yeah.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Great, that's good.

• 23:38Speaker 04

  Would you like the, I mean, the split up is obviously about a family? Would you like the Robinsons family to join you? Yeah, yeah. How many of them are there? Quite, if you have them, would you? Might be four hundred of them. Oh, here's a question.

• 23:49Speaker 00

  They're not the same as the family Robinson, are they?

• 23:51Speaker 04

  Oh, I hope not.

• 23:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  I think, I think they live next door to the family Robertson.

• 23:56Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the jam, the jam people.

• 23:58Speaker 04

  Well, it was the Swiss family Robinson.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  The Swiss family Robinson.

• 24:00Speaker 04

  And I guess the Scottish family Robertson.

• 24:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:03Speaker 04

  Guessing. Would you play the patriarch of the Robinsons family in a TV show? If they made a new series and it's all about the Robinson squash family?

• 24:14Speaker 00

  It's like Succession but with squash.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  That's very good. Yeah. And it's like, who's, who's gonna take over? And you're the, you're the patriarch. Yeah, so I'd be like, uh, Logan Roy.

• 24:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  The Logan Roy of the, ah, yeah, fuck off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We got this new flavour, summer fruits, fuck off. Pretty good. It's pretty good. Stick to the barley water. Yeah, yeah. Why I went pirate then, but anyway.

• 24:38Speaker 00

  But this is your character, you can, you can take it whatever, if you, if you want him to be a pirate, he could be a pirate.

• 24:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's more interesting. Yeah. That would be the origin story, where there's a life of piracy and then he suddenly sees the light.

• 24:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 04

  And he goes, cordial.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  Arr, cordial. And so, yeah, and then they go legit from there and to the- Yeah. I think that'd work. I think a pirate- There's not many jumps there from being a pirate to really getting into cordial.

• 25:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:08Speaker 04

  It's surrounded by water.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  Maybe, maybe on-

• 25:11Speaker 04

  Probably sick to the back teeth of it, so plain.

• 25:13Speaker 00

  Maybe on a, like, on a journey across the sea, you've got a barrel of oranges and you just leave it out in the sun by accident and it creates cordial.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, you would have a lot of citrus on board for scurvy. They only had, you know, they had a full crew, but they only had four oranges.

• 25:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:26Speaker 04

  And they went, how do we spread this around? You go, arr, add water.

• 25:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:30Speaker 04

  And then they go, ah, everyone's going, oh, this is all right. Okay, it's good, it's a hint of orange. Really, it's not particularly orangey, but-

• 25:38Speaker 00

  Yeah. Guys, I think we should take this out of the edit because I think-

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, we should hold on to it.

• 25:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:42Speaker 04

  The lime as well is for scurvy specifically.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:45Speaker 04

  See? If you've added a bit of mint to that, you've got, yeah. Yeah. This is gonna be a good, a good show.

• 25:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Have we just, have we just hit a cul-de-sac? Uh- Reverse everything? There are no cul-de-sacs on this podcast. Excellent, okay, good. Never has been, not, not on our watch, A Ed.

• 26:00Speaker 00

  No, not on our watch.

• 26:02Speaker 04

  Man, because Benito edits it.

• 26:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  Pop-a-dums or bread? Pop-a-dums or bread, touchy-basky, pop-a-dums or bread? Uh, well, I, because the, the, um, split up is a kind of an Asian family.

• 26:14Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  I'm gonna go pop-a-dums.

• 26:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:16Speaker 04

  For this. But otherwise, if it wasn't that, then it would probably be sort of rosemary salt for kachia. With, I'd be sure, many people on your show have kind of mentioned before, so maybe we can share it. Uh, with kind of olive oil and balsamic. Do you do some rosemary salt pop-a-dums if you want? I think that'd be a bit weird. Don't know why. Be a bit weird. Be a bit weird. I think it will. It's all the kind of condiment stuff that you got that come with the pop-a-dums. Kind of do the job.

• 26:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  About, rosemary's never one of them. No, that's a shame.

• 26:47Speaker 00

  They do, the condiments do the job and they do whatever job you want and you can create new jobs with them. There's so much fun. Sometimes I'm lo, I just get lost in the pop-a-dums bit.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:57Speaker 00

  And then everything else.

• 26:58Speaker 04

  Combine, well, yeah.

• 26:59Speaker 00

  I'm combining, I'm trying, I'm D, I'm basically DJing my own pop-a-dums.

• 27:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 00

  The mix is perfect.

• 27:04Speaker 04

  Are you gonna maybe play with the idea of rosemary?

• 27:08Speaker 00

  I don't think so. I think I like whatever the pop-a-dums actually are supposed to come with.

• 27:12Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 27:13Speaker 00

  I think that, I think they've perfected it. I think it's like the squash, I think it's the squash people, they've, they've nailed it.

• 27:17Speaker 04

  Okay, so do, do both of you have the pop-a-dums? What am I? Yeah, for both of you.

• 27:21Speaker 00

  Or generally, or for your dream meal?

• 27:23Speaker 04

  No, for you, I mean, you two personally. I think in the past, we've chosen bread when we've done our menus, but, you know, the whole-

• 27:30Speaker 00

  You've chosen pop-a-dums as well on the first dream menu?

• 27:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, my favourite pop-a, I, I had them recently, I was at, at the Edinburgh Festival and there's a place called Namaste Cat Mandu. Go there and get a curry. Their pop-a-dums are the best ones, they're folded up. I've said it on the podcast. So they put a picture of me in the window, holding a little pot of lime pickle, cheering, cheers in it, saying, home of James Acaster's favourite folded pop-a-dums, cause they, they fold them up like that.

• 27:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 04

  It's so good. And, uh, and my, and my picture's on the wall as well. What's happened to their sales since then? I think pretty good because like, you know, there's a little like wall of fame now and there wasn't before. I shouted it out and now they got me. Nish is on the wall, Amy Poehler is on the wall.

• 28:10Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  I mean, Nish might be up there because they think they're related to him. Yeah. It may not be because he's ever- I didn't wanna say. It's all right, that's one bit. But it's like, yeah, a little wall of fame, I'm pretty happy about that. They brought, they brought over the pop-a-dums as soon as we sat down, so they knew that was what I was gonna order.

• 28:26Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 28:27Speaker 04

  Delicious. But, uh, so the plain ones or the spicy ones? These ones are plain.

• 28:31Speaker 00

  Right.

• 28:31Speaker 04

  But I like spicy ones as well. Do you have a preference? Uh, I like to mix the two. Do you have somewhere where you've had the best pop-a-dums? Where they're like, those are your favourite ones you've ever had and that'd be your dream? No, there isn't actually. I mean, it's, uh, it might be in India somewhere, which I know is pretty vague as an answer. Cause it's quite a big country, but, uh, but no, no, nothing specific comes to mind with, with pop-a-dums.

• 28:56Speaker 00

  We'll still, we'll still record it as pop-a-dums from India.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  Yes, exactly.

• 28:59Speaker 00

  That's what you want, they're from India.

• 29:01Speaker 04

  A mixture of the spicy ones and the plain ones and you want all the dips. Yep.

• 29:08James Acaster?

  Your dream starter.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  Okay, there's some respecific things here.

• 29:11James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 29:12Speaker 04

  So there are prawn Scotch eggs.

• 29:14James Acaster?

  Oh, yes. Here we go.

• 29:16Speaker 04

  That Jacconi, a restaurant in London, does, which are incredible.

• 29:20James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  Absolutely amazing.

• 29:22James Acaster?

  Oh, my god.

• 29:23Speaker 04

  Have you, have you had them?

• 29:23James Acaster?

  No, I love, it's one of the things, we've talked on the podcast a lot about these kind of things. If it's on the menu, you've got to order it. If there's Scotch eggs on the menu.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:33James Acaster?

  I've got to have the Scotch egg. I love a hot Scotch egg. A prawn one, is that sending me into the stratosphere? I've not even tasted it yet.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  It's incredible, incredible. So that, and then, uh, so there's, there's a dish called papri chart, which is kind of like a, a street dish.

• 29:48James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 29:49Speaker 04

  And it's made with sort of dried crispy semolina, for instance. Uh, the papri are like crackers, uh, and chickpeas and, uh, small cubes of potato, and then yogurt, tamarind sauce and, and various spices on it. So it's street food in India, but Mira makes one, which is amazing. So that as well, yeah, I think those two actually.

• 30:12James Acaster?

  Mira makes it?

• 30:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:14James Acaster?

  She's been on the podcast. This prawn Scotch egg?

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 30:17James Acaster?

  Is it like, is it the prawn sort of minced into?

• 30:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, into where a sausage would be.

• 30:22James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 30:22Speaker 04

  In a traditional Scotch egg. So it's kind of, but it's, you know, again, crumb, crispy, crumb fried.

• 30:27James Acaster?

  Runny in the middle?

• 30:28Speaker 04

  Uh, it's not runny, these ones, but soft boiled.

• 30:32James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  But not runny.

• 30:33James Acaster?

  That's what you want.

• 30:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's, it's amazing. Really worth trying.

• 30:36James Acaster?

  Um, is there a dip that goes with it? They, they have little?

• 30:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, there is a kind of sauce that goes with it, and I can't remember exactly what that is, but that's amazing as well. It's slightly tangy. Um.

• 30:47James Acaster?

  Oh, Ben's got his hand up, I think he's seen what the dip is. Banana ketchup? Are you kidding me? You nearly forgot that?

• 30:54Speaker 04

  I nearly forgot that.

• 30:56James Acaster?

  I've got to try this.

• 30:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:58James Acaster?

  Yeah. This is a prawn Scotch egg with banana ketchup. Are you joking?

• 31:02Speaker 04

  I actually, we, we went last year.

• 31:04James Acaster?

  Fucking give me a tuna mountain, fuck me.

• 31:05Speaker 04

  We came back.

• 31:06James Acaster?

  This sounds delicious.

• 31:08Speaker 04

  Uh, puck me, puck me, I think is the.

• 31:11James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah. Puck me good.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:13James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  They should have called the show that.

• 31:15James Acaster?

  Puck me.

• 31:16Speaker 04

  Puck me good.

• 31:16James Acaster?

  Puck me. Puck at each other.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:19James Acaster?

  These lads, these lads are pucking each other.

• 31:21Speaker 04

  Yeah. Good pucking.

• 31:23James Acaster?

  A good hard pucking.

• 31:25Speaker 04

  Followed by a milk.

• 31:26James Acaster?

  Yeah. And puck me off while you're at it.

• 31:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, we kind of like said, the banana ketchup is, I believe, it's a delicacy really from, uh, the Caribbean. So we went last year on holiday to the Caribbean and came back with four bottles of it.

• 31:40James Acaster?

  Yes, please. Oh, this sounds good. I didn't even know banana ketchup existed, and no prawn Scotch eggs existed before I spoke to you.

• 31:47Speaker 04

  Welcome to the new world.

• 31:48James Acaster?

  This is so good. There's a place called Teal in Hackney, and they've got a Scotch egg that is like, I, I guess, I mean, this is going to sound gross, but it's delicious, and, uh, it's made with the pig's head, the meat from the pig's head.

• 32:02Speaker 04

  Oh, right. I immediately pictured the entire pig's head for a second.

• 32:06James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, it's huge. It's a pig's head and in the mouth is an egg that they've peeled, and they call it a Scotch egg. You wanted the Scotch egg, right? We've got a loaf of bread on his head like a hat, and then come there, you go.

• 32:18Speaker 04

  We deep fry the, deep fry the whole thing.

• 32:19James Acaster?

  Yeah. I thought this was going to be a snack before the main meal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  So, sorry, you were saying, so they use the?

• 32:26James Acaster?

  They use the pig's head, it's delicious. It's such a good.

• 32:28Speaker 04

  From the pig's head.

• 32:28James Acaster?

  Yeah, so, so, because, you know.

• 32:29Speaker 04

  It's not much there, is it?

• 32:30James Acaster?

  You've got to not waste it. Well, I don't know. I mean, there's enough for a Scotch egg, that's for sure.

• 32:34Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 32:34James Acaster?

  Absolutely. It's so good. And that, that thing you're saying about the, the yolk, like, not runny, but soft.

• 32:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:41James Acaster?

  Like, it's, I, I think about it all the time. It's so good. And now I want this.

• 32:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:47James Acaster?

  I want the banana ketchup.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, I mean, the, the entire menu is amazing, but that's incredible.

• 32:52James Acaster?

  I mean, I would push you towards that over Mira's thing now, because like, over the chart, because like.

• 32:57Speaker 04

  I think to be honest.

• 32:58James Acaster?

  I want it more than anything.

• 32:59Speaker 04

  Sanjeev did the thing I respect when guests do, just said he's having two things.

• 33:04James Acaster?

  And kind of just left it there.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, didn't say, we've got to pick one, you're just having. So you did take dream restaurant, right?

• 33:08James Acaster?

  Yeah. Yeah, sorry, you've got two stars.

• 33:11Speaker 04

  Suddenly, the dream restaurant goes, no, you can't have two. You're not a dream restaurant anymore.

• 33:15James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  Whereas you're really overly officious restaurant. We're just, yeah, we're actually the worst restaurant on the planet.

• 33:20James Acaster?

  Yeah, it's, it's like saying it's all you can eat, and then just being like.

• 33:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:23James Acaster?

  Sit down greedy.

• 33:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:24James Acaster?

  You, you've already been over there.

• 33:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:27James Acaster?

  What about opening an all I can eat restaurant? Where as the, as the proprietor, you're going.

• 33:32Speaker 04

  You eat there every day?

• 33:34James Acaster?

  I don't eat there, but I watch them and I go, that would be all I would have.

• 33:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:37James Acaster?

  So you've got to stop now. This is all I can eat.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, I'd, I'd be happy if you were running it.

• 33:43James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 33:43Speaker 04

  Because I think you can, you can put it away. Yeah.

• 33:45James Acaster?

  I can put it away pretty well.

• 33:46Speaker 04

  And, and also you eating there as well.

• 33:48James Acaster?

  So I have to match them.

• 33:50Speaker 04

  Yeah. You're matching yourself.

• 33:53James Acaster?

  So every customer that comes in, I've got to eat along with them.

• 33:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:56James Acaster?

  And then when I, when I tap out.

• 33:58Speaker 04

  That's why you've got to get the first booking of the day, if you're going. You've got to be there first.

• 34:01James Acaster?

  I'm going, I couldn't eat another bite. The first guy went hog wild.

• 34:04Speaker 04

  Yeah. I've got a nine PM table at All I Can Eat, James Acaster's restaurant. He's already puking up.

• 34:11James Acaster?

  He had a whole pig's head for breakfast.

• 34:13Speaker 04

  With an egg in his mouth.

• 34:14James Acaster?

  With an egg in his mouth and a loaf of hovis. Benito, I need the toilet.

• 34:20Speaker 04

  So for the listener, James has just been to the toilet.

• 34:22James Acaster?

  Hmm.

• 34:23Speaker 04

  Um, and it turns out Ben had warned you that sometimes James goes to the toilet halfway through.

• 34:29James Acaster?

  Yeah. How often are you saying that to guests who come on the podcast?

• 34:32Speaker 04

  Well, it's a good thing to warn them about.

• 34:34James Acaster?

  That's embarrassing.

• 34:35Speaker 04

  And then, and then Benito said to Sanjeev, do you want to go to the bathroom, just, just in case you need to go halfway through? And what did you say, Sanjeev? I was, I was interested to know how long I could last out. I thought it'd be interesting if I suddenly desperately needed to go. It might be mid-question or mid-answer.

• 34:51James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 34:51Speaker 04

  And just without explanation, just take off.

• 34:54James Acaster?

  Yeah, that, that, that's, you know, if I'm on a night out, the more drunk I get, the less, you know, as soon as I need a wee, doesn't matter if they're halfway through talking, sit there, just walk away.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  I have to say that with, with, uh, booze, I have a similar kind of thing where it's like my head has given me a 30-second warning of you've got to go and lie down now.

• 35:19James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 35:19Speaker 04

  And I have, on a couple of occasions, just got up when mid, someone else has been talking to me.

• 35:24James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  And just gone, that's really interesting. Thanks very much. Good night. And then just left.

• 35:28James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 35:29Speaker 04

  They're thinking, I'm coming back in a minute because it's some sort of joke, and then I just don't.

• 35:32James Acaster?

  Yeah. And, and you've done that to me. Yeah. I, I, I wish I didn't have to have some booze in me to do that. I wish that was how I conducted myself all the time. I would love it.

• 35:41Speaker 04

  We were out once and I went to the toilet, and I came out of the toilet and he was getting in a cab.

• 35:48James Acaster?

  Where are you going?

• 35:48Speaker 04

  Going home.

• 35:50James Acaster?

  I just realised I didn't want to be there anymore. I was, I was hammered.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  But also that, that kind of implies that you were quick.

• 35:57James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:58Speaker 04

  You could have been in there in an hour trying to push one out, and the other person goes, I don't know how long he's going to be in there, flipping heck.

• 36:04James Acaster?

  Yeah, no, no. That was it. As soon as he went in the toilet, I was like, right, I'm out the door.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  Now it sounds like you were just waiting for the opportunity. Oh, okay.

• 36:12James Acaster?

  Yeah, no, that's absolutely what he was doing, Sanjeev, yeah.

• 36:22James Acaster?

  Your dream main course.

• 36:24Speaker 04

  Dream main course. Okay, so.

• 36:26James Acaster?

  I love those starters.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  Uh.

• 36:29James Acaster?

  Always good when you get a, a dish that's made by another guest as well.

• 36:32Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 36:33James Acaster?

  I haven't had that too often.

• 36:34Speaker 04

  So in my main courses, right, again, uh, this is from.

• 36:39James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 36:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. Uh, you've got to look at this, and there's a, because I've got some sides as well to come, but butter chicken masala from Jim Carner.

• 36:48James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  Restaurant in London.

• 36:49James Acaster?

  Great.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  Pretty fantastic. It's got just the right amount of heat on it.

• 36:53James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 36:53Speaker 04

  That's fantastic. Along with, because you, some rice, obviously, so it's all mixed vegetable pilau or biryani type, that kind of thing.

• 37:02James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  And as a bread thing as part of that. So you know what alu parathas are?

• 37:08James Acaster?

  Nice.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  So parathas are kind of like stuffed flatbreads.

• 37:12James Acaster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:12Speaker 04

  Uh, and alu is potato. So these stuffed flatbreads with potato, specifically my mum's, because that's for me, comfort food from sort of childhood, but also something I just still love. So, uh, those would be my mains.

• 37:29James Acaster?

  So the parathas with the butter chicken from Jim Carner, that's great.

• 37:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:34James Acaster?

  I, I, I was in, uh, America recently. I've done a gig. I'm speaking to some, uh, industry types, and I don't do too well in that situation.

• 37:43Speaker 04

  No way.

• 37:43James Acaster?

  And there was a real like, big like.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  I'll go to the toilet.

• 37:46James Acaster?

  Big like.

• 37:47Speaker 04

  James, we'd love to, we, we want you to be in our new movie. The character, I'm sorry, I've got to go to the toilet.

• 37:53James Acaster?

  Bye.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Bye. Oh, you know, I'm, I'm loving talking to you. This is, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom for a second.

• 38:01Speaker 04

  He's getting into a cab.

• 38:03James Acaster?

  Comes out.

• 38:04Speaker 04

  What the hell?

• 38:05James Acaster?

  Yeah, see, I'll be in the film. I'm going to plane back to London. Um, yeah, this guy, proper like, you know, hot shot, hot shot Hollywood agent type, and he was going like, you've got to give me some recommendations. I'm going to London and I want a good Indian, a good Indian restaurant. And I, and I was like, oh, Jim Carner's amazing. And he went, don't give me that tourist crap. Don't give me that tourist crap. I want the real deal. And I was like, Jim Carner's really good, mate. And he was like, no, you're trying to fuck me up with tourist crap. I was like, I swear to God, I'm not.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:38James Acaster?

  That's it. He said, we're, we're gonna get a Jim Carner in Vegas soon.

• 38:42Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 38:43James Acaster?

  And so he said, that's tourist shit. And I was like, it's not.

• 38:47Speaker 00

  Just successful.

• 38:47James Acaster?

  I promise you, Jim Carner's really good Indian food.

• 38:50Speaker 00

  We'll do what every American does and just go to Deshume.

• 38:53James Acaster?

  Yeah, well, I was like, I know what's gonna happen. You're gonna go to Deshume, but you're gonna say it's the best Indian food you've ever had and Jim Carner's tourist crap.

• 39:01Speaker 04

  Do you think it's the name? Because they go Deshume. Wow, that sounds exotic.

• 39:07Speaker 00

  I think it's the presentation.

• 39:10James Acaster?

  You think they would? They love working out in Hollywood.

• 39:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, that would be the perfect LA Indian restaurant, Jim Carner.

• 39:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know why.

• 39:17Speaker 00

  I guess it's the presentation of Deshume as well and the, you know, the, the way the restaurant's done up inside and the decor maybe.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 00

  But yeah, I don't know. The Americans have just, they love Deshume. But look, Deshume's nice.

• 39:29James Acaster?

  It is, and that black doll is great.

• 39:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:36Speaker 00

  Jim Carner's like the, the pinnacle of like.

• 39:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think, I think it's got a Michelin star, I think.

• 39:41Speaker 00

  Two. It's got two now.

• 39:42Speaker 04

  Two Michelin stars.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  And all the other restaurants they have as well.

• 39:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, Trishna and.

• 39:47Speaker 00

  Trishna and Ambassador's Clubhouse.

• 39:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right.

• 39:50Speaker 00

  Brigadier. Is Brigadier's one of theirs as well?

• 39:51Speaker 04

  I think it is, yeah.

• 39:52Speaker 00

  And Brigadier's do the butter chicken wings, which are pretty much, I think about every day.

• 39:58Speaker 04

  Well, I haven't had those. I'm gonna go and.

• 40:00Speaker 00

  Highly recommended, yeah.

• 40:02James Acaster?

  So this is nice that you get to combine two things that you're, I, I take it you've never had these two together before?

• 40:08Speaker 04

  No, I haven't.

• 40:09James Acaster?

  So like, this is proper dream, this is my kind of dream stuff. Where it's like, you get, you get your mother's cooking with your favourite restaurant butter chicken together.

• 40:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:19James Acaster?

  And feel like a proper little prince.

• 40:22Speaker 04

  Prince, did you say?

• 40:23James Acaster?

  Yeah, I feel, I feel like a little prince if I get to do that.

• 40:25Speaker 04

  Well, I think if in your dream restaurant, you should feel like that, shouldn't you? Go in there and feel like a twat.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  The opposite of a prince.

• 40:31Speaker 04

  They made you. Yeah, that's the opposite.

• 40:34James Acaster?

  What's the most you've ever felt like a prince in a restaurant? Where you're going, I'm getting, I'm getting proper treated like a prince here?

• 40:40Speaker 04

  I mean, at both of those aforementioned restaurants, Jacconi and Jim Carner. And that, I think in any restaurant, actually, it's about the service then.

• 40:48James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 40:49Speaker 04

  You know, how great do they make you feel? But also that they mean it.

• 40:52James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 40:53Speaker 04

  Um, because there are restaurants in America where they do the, hey, how you doing? Yeah, you're great. And then they look at the tip and they go, really?

• 41:02Speaker 04

  Don't come back. So, yeah, I think both of those places, actually, the service, I think is fantastic. And that's what makes you feel like a prince, I think.

• 41:09James Acaster?

  Do you wear those?

• 41:10Speaker 04

  And, you know, give you a crown or something.

• 41:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'd like that though.

• 41:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:14Speaker 00

  I'd like, I'd like a restaurant where you're a prince when you walk in and they give you a crown.

• 41:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:19James Acaster?

  This is the prince for the day.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:20James Acaster?

  It's only one prince.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  Oh, hang on, there's only one prince?

• 41:23James Acaster?

  Every time.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  Right.

• 41:25James Acaster?

  Only one person.

• 41:25Speaker 00

  Is this in All I Can Eat as well?

• 41:28James Acaster?

  Yeah, it's in All I Can Eat, yeah, yeah. And I'm never the prince. Whoever I'm matching is the prince for the little bit.

• 41:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:35James Acaster?

  So we give you all the stuff.

• 41:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:37James Acaster?

  You've got to wear all that.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  Me and my friends, when we were like 11, came up with an idea for a restaurant called Steakface.

• 41:43Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 41:44Speaker 00

  Where you get, the only thing on the menu is steak, but the steak you get is the size of your face.

• 41:50James Acaster?

  Great.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  You like that?

• 41:51James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:51Speaker 04

  I mean, that sort of works, doesn't it?

• 41:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:54Speaker 04

  Because kids would get.

• 41:56Speaker 00

  Smaller steaks.

• 41:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, kid portions.

• 41:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:58James Acaster?

  What would determine like how it's cooked?

• 42:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, maybe it's your age, like in, and then like you add it up and it's like the seconds that it's in the pan for on each side maybe. So if you're a kid, if you're a kid, you get a tiny steak that's almost raw.

• 42:13Speaker 04

  And it would, go back to the maths of it. Add up the seconds.

• 42:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  So go on, do that for someone who's 50 years old.

• 42:21Speaker 00

  Well, it's no, not the seconds you've been alive. So you do it in a different increment. So it's like 50.

• 42:25James Acaster?

  Cook it for their lifespan.

• 42:26Speaker 00

  50 seconds. It's like a second a year maybe, on each side. Yeah, yeah. So then that would get 100 seconds in the pan.

• 42:33Speaker 04

  Nobody, apart from someone who's kind of just received a telegram from the king.

• 42:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:39Speaker 04

  Gets anything that's remotely cooked.

• 42:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, but like really old people, they want their meat well done, right? So that makes sense.

• 42:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it's only gonna be, you know, 80 seconds either side.

• 42:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:49James Acaster?

  Yeah, they'll.

• 42:50Speaker 00

  Yeah. But this is good. This is why you need to talk about ideas, I think.

• 42:53Speaker 04

  This is true.

• 42:53James Acaster?

  Yeah, oh, Steakface could have been a real flop.

• 42:58James Acaster?

  Do you have it sometimes, like, talking about different treatment in restaurants, when you show up, because you've got, they're going for an English sketch, that must get brought up to you all the time in restaurants when you go. Like, people must reference that and talk about it. Is that still the case?

• 43:12Speaker 04

  They kind of, the two things that get referenced, actually, it's on, online more than in person. Um, but either people will say, you know, after any achievement, uh, you know, uh, so I suppose you went out and celebrated with an English afterwards. That comes up quite a bit. And also, I think on, there's certain airlines who divide their menu into spicy and bland. So I will get sent that occasionally.

• 43:38James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:39Speaker 04

  The bland choice.

• 43:42Speaker 04

  But those two things get referenced. Uh, it's, it was, but tends to be online. It's people in restaurants.

• 43:48Speaker 00

  They wouldn't be, there haven't been any waiters who've come over and asked if you want the blandest thing on the menu?

• 43:53Speaker 04

  Not so far.

• 43:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:54Speaker 04

  They're missing a trick.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  They are.

• 43:55Speaker 04

  Because they would get probably a better tip.

• 43:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:59James Acaster?

  Or do you, I'd think you would get the check please as well, because like.

• 44:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:03James Acaster?

  Like, they don't always like say it, but when they ask us if we want still or sparkling water, you can sometimes see a little twinkle in their eye.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, which is crazy because that's such a normal question for them to ask.

• 44:12James Acaster?

  Yeah, but they have to ask it. So it's like, it's like they have to ask us that question, but they also are like, oh, and you asked us on your podcast. Whereas with you, they've got to be like, would you like the check? And they must be a little bit in their eye like, oh.

• 44:25Speaker 04

  No, although I get conscious of kind of asking for it.

• 44:29James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:30Speaker 04

  Excuse me, could I have the check please? It's kind of like, because I'm going, do they, do they know the reference?

• 44:36James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  So yeah, I'm probably more self-conscious than they are.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  Today's episode of the Off Menu Podcast is sponsored by Cozy, the home of possibilities, James.

• 44:45James Acaster?

  Oh, man, Ed, Cozy has everything you need to make your home feel like it has a plan. Do you know what I mean?

• 44:50Speaker 00

  I know what you mean. Cozy is a wonderful furniture company. It makes furnishing your whole home easy. Sofers, dining, storage, rugs, bedroom, even outdoor, all designed to make your space feel put together without the usual furniture stress. And James, we talk about dream meals on this podcast, but you know what? We very rarely talk about where we want to eat this dream meal.

• 45:10James Acaster?

  Sure, yeah, I like it when it does come up. It is very important. It changes the whole meal, the setting, the vibe. And Cozy's modular customizable furniture for the whole home does just that.

• 45:21Speaker 00

  And the meal, James, doesn't necessarily end at dessert. We've often talked about wanting to take our maybe final course through to a comfy room. And I think this is where Cozy can really come in handy. Go and relax on the sofa, maybe even eat your meal at a lovely, beautiful cozy table. Linger a little bit, move through with coffees and dessert to a lovely couch. But I know what you're like, James, you're a mucky pup.

• 45:43James Acaster?

  I'm gonna spill stuff everywhere. Is that gonna ruin the Cozy furniture?

• 45:46Speaker 00

  No, don't worry about that, James, because it's highly washable, James. It's sauce, wine, sparkling water, dessert crumbs. You telling one of your big stories and sloshing a coffee everywhere. Don't worry, you can pop it in the wash.

• 45:58James Acaster?

  Oh, so you're saying Cozy makes every day at home feel like my best day?

• 46:01Speaker 00

  Absolutely. That's exactly what I'm saying. And with Cozy, your home can grow with you, adapting to new spaces, new styles and every era of your life, James. I think it's so hard, especially when you move somewhere new, to immediately make that place feel like yours, that it's been put together well. And that's where Cozy comes in.

• 46:17James Acaster?

  And because it's cozy, the furniture isn't just good looking, but actually practical. Modular pieces, easy assembly, washable and interchangeable covers and free design consultations if you want help making the whole room work.

• 46:29Speaker 00

  And it's easy to order, ship and assemble and maintain, James. The only way is the cozy way.

• 46:36James Acaster?

  Visit Cozy today, that's C O Z E Y dot com and make yourself at home.

• 46:49James Acaster?

  Dream side dish that you alluded to, maybe there's some black dal here.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  There is. The black dal, um, dal mukkani from Dishu, which is, you know, one of their classics and he's brilliant.

• 46:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, so nice.

• 46:59Speaker 04

  Amazing. It's also because it's, it feels quite substantial as a dal, because dal's can be quite watery. Um, but that's great. Another Mira dish, which is paun baji, which is a, another street food. So basically the paun is like a bun, um, like a kind of, um, like a soft bun that's toasted. And the, the baji bit is these, the, is basically like a vegetable sort of mash, which has got potatoes and peas and all that kind of stuff. Carrots, I think, in it, possibly, tomatoes. And so, so in, in Mumbai particularly, that's where you get that street food thing.

• 47:39Speaker 04

  So Mira's is amazing. So that, uh, the dal mentioned, uh, there's a hispy cabbage made by Hoppers. Yeah. Sri Lankan restaurant, um, which is also incredible. It's roasted. I'd never thought cabbage would be interesting, but it's roasted cabbage in a sauce. That's incredible. And the one thing that's not South Asian is a, um, is the Kostas salad from Kostas Taverna in Koffu.

• 48:07James Acaster?

  Right.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  And that is sort of lettuce and cherry tomatoes, but also fruit is put in, some other kind of orange or, um, apple or something like that, with a honey dressing.

• 48:18Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 48:19Speaker 04

  And that's incredible. So whenever we go there, whenever I go there, I'll order that with anything else I might be on.

• 48:26James Acaster?

  And do you regularly go to Koffu?

• 48:29Speaker 04

  Been to the same place three times, yeah.

• 48:31James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 48:31Speaker 04

  Um, and it's that thing of, you know, some holidays you want to go and you want to explore, right? And those aren't necessarily relaxing, but they're kind of rewarding. This is just about super relaxation.

• 48:42James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 48:42Speaker 04

  We know where we're going. We know where we're gonna eat. You know, we know where everything is. And so you do just switch off.

• 48:48James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 48:49Speaker 04

  And so, yeah, been there three times.

• 48:51Speaker 00

  I love all these sides. It sounds so good. The hispy cabbage, I'm annoyed now because I went to Hoppers a couple of weeks ago.

• 48:57Speaker 04

  Right.

• 48:58Speaker 00

  We ordered the hispy cabbage and then it was that situation of it just didn't come. But that happens to me quite often where I'll order so much and they'll forget something.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  But I'm at the point where I'm so full, that I'm like, I'm not gonna chase anyone on this.

• 49:12James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:13Speaker 00

  But now I'm gutted because I want the hispy cabbage. And I love cabbage as well. Cabbage is having a moment, apparently. I read. On the BBC News website this morning.

• 49:19James Acaster?

  Well, it's official news.

• 49:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:21James Acaster?

  It's happening.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  It's the vegetable of the year.

• 49:24James Acaster?

  What?

• 49:24Speaker 00

  Cabbage.

• 49:25James Acaster?

  Congratulations.

• 49:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:27James Acaster?

  Not, not great for me. I've got a history with cabbage, but like, yeah.

• 49:30Speaker 00

  Not the hispy, not the hispy though.

• 49:32James Acaster?

  No, no, love the hispy.

• 49:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:33James Acaster?

  That, that never did anything wrong to me.

• 49:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:35Speaker 04

  What, what's your?

• 49:37James Acaster?

  Ah, kid, a little kid sent me cabbages for ages.

• 49:40Speaker 04

  And you didn't, see if he'd been Asian, you would have just set up a market stall and sold them.

• 49:46James Acaster?

  Yeah, well, I wish I'd.

• 49:47Speaker 00

  That's what you said.

• 49:48James Acaster?

  Huh? Yeah, I did say, I'm not even Asian. Stop sending these to me.

• 49:53Speaker 00

  The hispy cabbage, I've, yeah, started doing those on the barbecue as well.

• 49:57Speaker 04

  They're great.

• 49:58Speaker 00

  They're so good. They're so robust.

• 49:59Speaker 04

  Because cabbage as a kid was really boring.

• 50:02James Acaster?

  Mm hmm. Yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  It was just kind of chopped and boiled, really. But yeah, the roasted stuff or the barbecue stuff is great, I think.

• 50:08James Acaster?

  That's what Charlie Bucket used to eat, was little cap, was cabbage soup. Charlie Bucket and his family, they're making cabbage soup, they're hating it. Nowadays, vegetable of the year.

• 50:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:18Speaker 00

  The last.

• 50:18James Acaster?

  Come a long way.

• 50:19Speaker 00

  The last thing I'd wanna eat is cabbage soup if I'm sleeping in a bed with my entire family.

• 50:23James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 50:24Speaker 04

  I mean.

• 50:25James Acaster?

  Christ alive.

• 50:26Speaker 04

  But just in the same room as four old people in the same bed. I mean.

• 50:30Speaker 00

  Oh, there's grandad eating his cabbage soup.

• 50:32James Acaster?

  Grandpa Joe, show some fucking respect.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:35James Acaster?

  But like, face at each other.

• 50:37Speaker 00

  I'm not showing any respect to a man eating cabbage soup and then sleeping in the same bed as his grandchild.

• 50:42James Acaster?

  No, no, no. I don't think Charlie was in that bed. I think it was just the, just the grandparents.

• 50:47Speaker 04

  It was the four grandparents.

• 50:48Speaker 00

  Two sets of grandparents. Room.

• 50:50James Acaster?

  Two sets of grandparents facing each other in the bed.

• 50:52Speaker 04

  Facing each other?

• 50:53James Acaster?

  Yeah. Yeah, they'd be like, Grandpa Joe and his missus.

• 50:56Speaker 00

  I've misremembered it. Shout out Grandpa Joe, I apologize.

• 50:58James Acaster?

  Grandpa Joe and his missus, who I think was maybe even called Grandma Josephine. And then across them was the other set of grandparents.

• 51:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:05James Acaster?

  And then they're eating cabbage soup. And then Charlie gets the golden, I know where Charlie's sleeping, fucking dog bed or some shit. He had a grim life.

• 51:12Speaker 04

  Maybe been underneath.

• 51:13James Acaster?

  He had a grim life. Um, until he got the golden ticket. I don't know if you remember that.

• 51:18Speaker 00

  I remember this bit.

• 51:19James Acaster?

  Yeah. And then he chooses Grandpa Joe, which is like.

• 51:23Speaker 04

  So Grandpa Joe left the bed.

• 51:25James Acaster?

  Left the bed.

• 51:25Speaker 04

  He was the only one, right?

• 51:26James Acaster?

  He could suddenly walk, cause that, that's another thing as well. He's worried that he'd been in the bed so long, he'd be all withered away.

• 51:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:32James Acaster?

  But then he's so happy that he's got a golden ticket, that he can like, he can walk now and dance around.

• 51:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 51:37James Acaster?

  And then go to the chocolate factory with him. And the other three, I'd be double gutted.

• 51:41Speaker 00

  Was he claiming benefits? I bet the government would kick off.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  I think.

• 51:46Speaker 00

  He's fucking dancing around.

• 51:47Speaker 04

  You're lucky. I think it was pre benefits. But also, it's, it's not now, it doesn't, it doesn't feel biologically and scientifically logical.

• 51:55Speaker 00

  No.

• 51:55Speaker 04

  He'd be in the bed for kind of 12 years or whatever it was.

• 51:58Speaker 00

  I'd say.

• 51:58Speaker 04

  And get out and dance.

• 51:59Speaker 00

  I'd say a lot of that story is not scientifically possible.

• 52:02James Acaster?

  What? Name, name one bit that.

• 52:05Speaker 00

  Uh, the burping potion?

• 52:06Speaker 04

  No, that sounds real.

• 52:08Speaker 00

  That's, that's real, I suppose. I get the blue girl, that makes sense.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oompa Loompas, that makes sense.

• 52:13James Acaster?

  Violet Beauregard.

• 52:14Speaker 04

  That's right, Violet Beauregard.

• 52:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:16James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 52:16Speaker 00

  We, we talk about, end up talking about this quite a lot on this podcast, don't we?

• 52:19James Acaster?

  Charlie the Chocolate Factory. It's a big, you know.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a big thing.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  It's a big thing, yeah.

• 52:23James Acaster?

  It's a big deal in food.

• 52:24Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 52:26James Acaster?

  I think Charlie the Chocolate Factory.

• 52:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:28James Acaster?

  I, I, I'd be, I'd have been a great guest if I, if I, if I'd, if I'd got a golden ticket.

• 52:33Speaker 00

  Do you think?

• 52:34James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:35Speaker 00

  Well, cause you're a bit Mike TV, aren't you?

• 52:37James Acaster?

  What?

• 52:38Speaker 00

  You're a bit like Mike TV.

• 52:40James Acaster?

  What way?

• 52:40Speaker 00

  You're just vibe, you're vibe.

• 52:42James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 52:42Speaker 00

  But you're also quite, you're a bit of a bucket as well, I'd say.

• 52:45James Acaster?

  I'm a bit of a bucket, a goody two shoes like Charlie Bucket.

• 52:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:48James Acaster?

  Love chocolate like Augustus Group.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:51James Acaster?

  Got the attitude of Mike TV. Um, I don't think I'm like Violet Beauregard or Veruca Salt. Veruca Salt's spoiled and Violet Beauregard's entire personality, she likes chewing gum.

• 53:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right.

• 53:02James Acaster?

  That was, Dar, I think Roald Dahl was like scraping the bell. He's like, why have I said five?

• 53:09James Acaster?

  Gotta come up with another one.

• 53:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:10James Acaster?

  She'd be like bubble gum. I don't like that.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. Maybe bubble gum was quite a new thing on the scene when he was writing it.

• 53:16James Acaster?

  Yeah. And I remember parents really hated bubble gum.

• 53:20Speaker 04

  When was bubble gum invented?

• 53:22Speaker 00

  1928.

• 53:23Speaker 04

  Eight.

• 53:23Speaker 00

  The bubble gum.

• 53:25James Acaster?

  The, the way my parents responded to it, you'd think it had just been invented.

• 53:29Speaker 04

  Well, also, that kind of makes sense because if you kind of look at, you know, World War Two, there's lots of people chewing gum.

• 53:36James Acaster?

  Hmm.

• 53:36Speaker 04

  You know, when you get to Vietnam, everyone's chewing gum.

• 53:38James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 53:38Speaker 04

  First World War, no one's chewing gum.

• 53:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:40Speaker 04

  Hadn't been invented.

• 53:43James Acaster?

  So you, you just measure this by the war?

• 53:45Speaker 04

  Well, it's an interesting way of looking at war, isn't it? Because if you look at They Shall Never Grow Old, that Peter Jackson, amazing Peter Jackson documentary. Where they cleaned up the image and added voices and everything. Uh, yeah, there's no one chewing.

• 53:58James Acaster?

  No one's chewing.

• 53:59Speaker 04

  Yeah. But by the time you get to, certainly by the time you get to Vietnam.

• 54:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're all chewing.

• 54:03Speaker 04

  Everyone's chewing.

• 54:04James Acaster?

  No, I'm just.

• 54:04Speaker 00

  Are they chewing gum or are they chewing backy?

• 54:06Speaker 04

  I think they're chewing gum.

• 54:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:09Speaker 04

  Cause backy is the spitting thing, is that what you're kind of like? So that, that's, that would have been your civil war, American Civil War.

• 54:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is.

• 54:18Speaker 04

  Wouldn't it?

• 54:19Speaker 00

  That'd be that war, yeah.

• 54:20James Acaster?

  Yeah. I thought it chimed in that.

• 54:21Speaker 04

  Don't think he's in the Boer War. I don't think, I don't know what they were chewing there.

• 54:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:25Speaker 04

  Um, yeah.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  Oh, there you go. Interesting way of looking at it.

• 54:29Speaker 00

  Do you remember we used to get bubble gum in like, like a foot long strip?

• 54:33Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  I chewed a whole one of those ones.

• 54:37James Acaster?

  I don't know why, I should be surprised by that.

• 54:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was bubble gum. I put the whole thing in her, it's like that, and then trying to get a huge bubble. But all it did was trap loads of air in me and I did a fart for 40 seconds.

• 54:48Speaker 04

  Wow. Like, rebellion.

• 54:52Speaker 00

  It was mad, I remember.

• 54:53Speaker 04

  People woke up and saluted.

• 54:55Speaker 00

  I was with my friend and I went and stood by the door, cause I was like, I need to go to the toilet. And I started farting and I was, we were looking in each other's eyes for about 40 seconds as it kept going. We couldn't believe it.

• 55:05Speaker 00

  Gobflacks.

• 55:07Speaker 04

  You've just reminded, this is kind of like vaguely, cause talking about, you know, how much of your mouth it took up.

• 55:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:12Speaker 04

  Was the, uh, I remember years ago, uh, going on a trip, uh, a uni trip to York. And I was with a group of people and I, I was desperate for a donut. And I just passed this bakery and I saw the donuts, the jam donuts.

• 55:28James Acaster?

  Hmm.

• 55:28Speaker 04

  Um, and, and I thought, do you know, I haven't got enough money to share it with anyone. And it would feel a bit shit me just going in and coming out with a donut. So I kind of engineered an excuse for them to go in one direction. I go, yeah, I'll catch you up, catch you up. And I ducked in and I bought the donut.

• 55:44Speaker 00

  Don't say nice man too early.

• 55:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:47James Acaster?

  Didn't know you were sneaky.

• 55:50Speaker 04

  I think those are the words of the Buddha.

• 55:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:54Speaker 04

  And, uh, and I, as I came out of the shop, I'd seen this group of, you know, four people had turned around and were heading back in my direction. So I stuffed the whole thing into my mouth, desperately trying to chew it. And so it, it ended up as a kind of ball of dough. In the middle of my mouth. And every time I tried to bite it to get some purchase on it, it would roll round. Right? Cause I couldn't, but you know, every time you bite it, it just spun. And so it was.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  So your mouth is around like, like a tennis ball.

• 56:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:25Speaker 04

  Right? In your mouth, right? And you, look, if it was a tennis ball and you tried to bite it, it would just turn in your mouth. It wouldn't, you wouldn't be able to bite it, right?

• 56:32Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 56:33Speaker 04

  So by that time, they'd caught up with me, right? But if I kept my mouth closed, it looked normal.

• 56:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:39Speaker 04

  You know, because the ball was just sitting there, but I couldn't say anything. And so every time they kind of, they said, oh, I thought, I thought you were, you're heading up, we're gonna head this way. And I'd get, be going, mm, mm. And every time they looked away, I was trying to bite the end of it.

• 56:55Speaker 00

  It was just spinning round and round.

• 56:56Speaker 04

  Spinning around. Honestly, it was agony.

• 56:57James Acaster?

  Like a computer mouse.

• 56:59Speaker 04

  Like a.

• 56:59James Acaster?

  Like the bottom of, like.

• 57:01Speaker 00

  The ball in the bottom of a computer.

• 57:02James Acaster?

  Just rolling out.

• 57:05Speaker 04

  Honestly, it was about, it was about 15 minutes before, you know, it eroded enough through natural means that I could, honestly, my jaw was aching and it was.

• 57:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:16James Acaster?

  Do you know what? As well, I bet they would have been absolutely fine.

• 57:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, they would have been fine if you'd had a donut.

• 57:20James Acaster?

  Walked up to you and you were eating a donut.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:22James Acaster?

  They would have been like, you all right? Oh, that's nice. You got yourself a donut?

• 57:26Speaker 00

  I fancied a donut, so I just bought a donut.

• 57:27Speaker 04

  I know.

• 57:28James Acaster?

  Good on you. We're, we're gonna go and see the minster. Do you wanna come? Yeah.

• 57:35James Acaster?

  I didn't get you guys one. You don't have to, Saji. It's fine.

• 57:38Speaker 04

  I know. I know, I know. That was, yeah.

• 57:41James Acaster?

  That's, that's, that's good stuff, though.

• 57:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:44James Acaster?

  I love it.

• 57:49James Acaster?

  Your dream drink.

• 57:50Speaker 04

  So there's, there's gonna be a few, right? Because they will.

• 57:52James Acaster?

  Oh, no way.

• 57:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. Interestingly. Um, so I think pre food.

• 57:59James Acaster?

  Oh, you're great. Here we go.

• 58:00Speaker 04

  Uh, Pisco Sour.

• 58:02James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 58:02Speaker 04

  That, that Peruvian.

• 58:03James Acaster?

  Yeah, lovely.

• 58:04Speaker 00

  Beautiful.

• 58:05Speaker 04

  Stunning.

• 58:06James Acaster?

  Never heard anyone like emphasise the piss before, but yeah.

• 58:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:09James Acaster?

  You really went for it.

• 58:10Speaker 00

  When you're gonna go, you wanna go. That, yeah, that, that drink choice really got better as it got through, I think.

• 58:18James Acaster?

  Pre meal, piss. Yeah, I'd be at first second. For a second. Cause you hit, you hit that piss so hard. I thought, it's just having a piss.

• 58:27Speaker 04

  Well, as Ed knows, I've got a history.

• 58:29James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 58:31Speaker 04

  With piss.

• 58:31James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 58:32Speaker 04

  Taskmaster, so, um, so Pisco Sour.

• 58:36James Acaster?

  Lovely.

• 58:37Speaker 04

  As your pre-drink.

• 58:38James Acaster?

  So good.

• 58:39Speaker 04

  And then, you know, with the meal, you know, it's an Indian meal, so mango lassi.

• 58:44James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 58:45Speaker 04

  So, uh, but a nice cold one.

• 58:47James Acaster?

  Yeah, brilliant.

• 58:48Speaker 04

  And a little bit on the thick side.

• 58:50James Acaster?

  Mm hmm.

• 58:50Speaker 04

  As opposed to a thin watery one.

• 58:52James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 58:52Speaker 04

  So that would be, and then with the food also, um, because you'll, you'll finish that fairly quickly, is a glass or a bottle of Nui San George red wine.

• 59:04James Acaster?

  Okay.

• 59:05Speaker 04

  So many years ago, Nitin Sorni, who's, you know, composer and musician and amazing, and we've known each other since, since uni. And we went to New York for the first time. It's the first time I'd been to New York.

• 59:18James Acaster?

  And you got a new donut.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  Pardon?

• 59:23James Acaster?

  Well, you went to New York, you got a new donut.

• 59:25Speaker 04

  No.

• 59:25James Acaster?

  Cause you had a York.

• 59:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:27James Acaster?

  You had a donut. It's pretty good stuff.

• 59:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, very good.

• 59:29James Acaster?

  Sorry, I did interrupt the anecdote. Probably the worst joke I've ever made. If you want to just carry on the anecdote.

• 59:34Speaker 04

  No, I don't.

• 59:35James Acaster?

  That'd probably be better.

• 59:36Speaker 04

  I don't think I can top that. So, uh, let's just move. No, so we kind of, so there was a freebie giveaway or by British Airways. Um, it was St George's Day.

• 59:46James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. And a lottery system and ours came up, but so it was a free flight.

• 59:52James Acaster?

  Oh, wow.

• 59:52Speaker 04

  None of, neither of us had any money. So we kind of kept on a friend's floor in, um, Manhattan. And it was a week and when we were coming back, we got to JFK and we said, look, we, they are our tickets. They said, okay, if you go to the left, we tell everyone's going to the right. They said, no, your flight's on the left. And unbeknownst to us, we came back on Concorde.

• 1:00:16James Acaster?

  Wow.

• 1:00:18Speaker 04

  Incredible. I mean, it was two hours and 50 minutes.

• 1:00:20James Acaster?

  When you say unbeknownst to you, do you mean you arrived way earlier than you thought? As in you got back to London, you're like.

• 1:00:29James Acaster?

  At what point did you realise you were on Concorde, I think is the.

• 1:00:31Speaker 04

  Well, it was, we were directed to the Concorde Lounge and I was thinking still, uh, maybe it is a little clue.

• 1:00:38James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:38Speaker 04

  But I kind of thought, oh, maybe, you know, the other lounge is a shot or something. I don't know. And then we'd be taken to a standard seven, four, seven or whatever. Uh, and then we were ushered onto the plane and we thought, oh shit, we're actually on Concorde.

• 1:00:50James Acaster?

  Two hours, 50 minutes.

• 1:00:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:52James Acaster?

  Wow.

• 1:00:52Speaker 04

  New York to London. But on that, they served, um, a newy San George. And I remember thinking, this is the best red one I've ever had. The other thing they used to do at that time, which obviously doesn't have it anymore, is that they would invite you up to the cockpit. And I had bought a really cheap camcorder in New York. And I said to them, and they said, would you like to come and speak to the captain in the cockpit? And I said, can I film it? And they said, well, no, not really. And I said, okay. So I switched it on anyway.

• 1:01:21James Acaster?

  Wow.

• 1:01:21Speaker 04

  And slung it on my shoulder.

• 1:01:23James Acaster?

  Michael Moore here.

• 1:01:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, totally. And, uh, and I thought, I'll get what I get. And so, uh, when I got back and I played it back, what I got was, I, I mean, visuals, the visuals were just the back of the navigator's head.

• 1:01:36James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:37Speaker 04

  But they, there was the audio there. And I remember thinking, I'm going to try and stay in the cockpit for as long as I can. Right. There's a whole queue of people, but I'm, I'm determined to stay here for as long as I can. And so initially I said to him, he said, a welcome to the cockpit, Concorde. And I said, thank you very much. I said, is it true that, uh, you, from the maximum altitude, you can see the curvature of the earth? He said, yes, you can. And I said, oh, wow, that's amazing.

• 1:02:03James Acaster?

  And you're heading, you're thinking, I got that on audio.

• 1:02:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I'm going, another question. So then I kind of said, uh, what is the, the specific training that you need to have as a Concorde pilot?

• 1:02:15James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:15Speaker 04

  To answer that. The point at which he threw me out.

• 1:02:18James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:18Speaker 04

  Which I had on tape was I said, right, what is the tensile stress on the fuselage at takeoff? And he said, there are a lot of other people waiting. I think you should.

• 1:02:30Speaker 04

  I went, yeah, all right. Yeah.

• 1:02:32James Acaster?

  And you watched all that back. You feel really pleased with yourself when you listen back.

• 1:02:39James Acaster?

  You're in there for ages.

• 1:02:40Speaker 04

  Yeah. Tensile stress on the fuselage, I thought was.

• 1:02:43James Acaster?

  Are they bringing Concorde back?

• 1:02:44Speaker 04

  No, I think somebody's developing another.

• 1:02:46James Acaster?

  Something else, yeah.

• 1:02:47Speaker 04

  Supersonic plane, yeah.

• 1:02:48James Acaster?

  That's what we need right now, this day and age.

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:50James Acaster?

  Yeah. Let's, let's get, let's, let's get another one of those up and running. I was gutted when they got rid of Concorde.

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:56James Acaster?

  I really would have loved to have gone on one, but you know, I suppose they, they kept going on fire, didn't they? That was the main problem.

• 1:03:02Speaker 04

  No, only once.

• 1:03:02James Acaster?

  Yeah. But that's enough. Did you ask the pilot that? How many times have they gone on fire? Just once. Now get out of my cockpit.

• 1:03:09Speaker 04

  Specifically gone, gone on fire.

• 1:03:11James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah. Though all those drinks sound great. Mango lassi, big favourite on the pod. Are you a fan of, cause you said, uh, cause it's an Indian restaurant. Are you a fan of thumbs up cola?

• 1:03:22Speaker 04

  But darling, I am.

• 1:03:23James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:23Speaker 04

  Yeah. Because, um, there was a period of time when I went to India where thumbs up cola and, um, there's a drink called Limka.

• 1:03:31James Acaster?

  Yes.

• 1:03:31Speaker 04

  Which was lemon and lime fizzy drink were the two that were my absolute favourites. So, yeah, I do have a soft spot there.

• 1:03:36James Acaster?

  I don't know, thumbs up cola. So good. The, the people, uh, Turtle Canyon, who are a production company, who I make all my, uh, comedy shows with, they film all my comedy shows. They also film a lot of shows in India. And so their, their offices now, um, in Pinewood are just, the fridge is just full of thumbs up cola.

• 1:03:56Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:03:56James Acaster?

  Cause they, they got really into it.

• 1:03:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:58James Acaster?

  And, uh, I'm about to like start editing this new show and I'm, I know what I've got coming. A load of thumbs up. I mean, I mean, necking so much thumbs up this month while, while editing this show. I'm looking forward to it.

• 1:04:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14James Acaster?

  Your dream dessert.

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  Dream dessert. Okay.

• 1:04:16James Acaster?

  How, now how many, Ed, little guests? How many do you think?

• 1:04:20Speaker 04

  Three.

• 1:04:21James Acaster?

  You think three? I think four.

• 1:04:24Speaker 04

  Three's right.

• 1:04:24James Acaster?

  Yeah. Ed gamble. Never try and outguess. Ed gamble.

• 1:04:28Speaker 04

  I will always be able to guess how many desserts people want.

• 1:04:31James Acaster?

  He did it.

• 1:04:31Speaker 04

  Yeah. Okay. So one, the one non specifically Asian dessert, which I guess is my favourite dessert is banoffee pie. Cannot resist banoffee pie whenever I see it.

• 1:04:42James Acaster?

  Love it. Yeah. I, I, I think I'm the same, like Scotch egg, banoffee pie. Although we've said on the pod before, if there's a baked Alaska on, I've got to have that. I don't know what I would do if there was a dessert menu with baked Alaska and banoffee pie on it.

• 1:04:55Speaker 04

  Regularly been with you where you've ordered the entire dessert menu. So of course you know what you'd do.

• 1:05:00James Acaster?

  Well, I don't know. It'll be a touch and go, Ed.

• 1:05:02Speaker 04

  It's not touch and go, you just order all of it.

• 1:05:04James Acaster?

  That situation.

• 1:05:05Speaker 04

  The, all you can eat.

• 1:05:06James Acaster?

  Hard to know.

• 1:05:07Speaker 04

  I heard rumours, they'd changed the caterers that they use for Taskmaster.

• 1:05:11James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:12Speaker 04

  Back when we did it.

• 1:05:13James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:13Speaker 04

  But the best day on Taskmaster in our day was the banoffee pie day.

• 1:05:17James Acaster?

  Right.

• 1:05:17Speaker 04

  Where the caterers made amazing banoffee pie. Did that happen on your series?

• 1:05:22James Acaster?

  It was really hyped up for the whole thing. They were like, it's banoffee pie day tomorrow.

• 1:05:27Speaker 04

  No, I'd be hyped for that. Yeah.

• 1:05:29James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:29Speaker 04

  I did, there was a film I did called Absolutely Anything with Simon Pegg and it was directed by Terry Jones. And I said to the caterers on that, I said, look, when, are you going to make banoffee pie? And they said, yeah, we will at some point. I said, when you do, could you let me know? And I also, could you just hold back a portion for me as well that I can take home afterwards? And they went, yeah, yeah, we'll do that. And I said, God, you're amazing. That's fantastic. And on the day I was filming on banoffee pie day, on that production, I, I was only in the first scene of the day. So I was wrapped by sort of 11 or something. And I said, you know, I don't want to miss out on the lunch thing. Could you, I mean, could you make it earlier? And, and they said, yeah, yeah. Well, kind of, yeah, sure. We can, we can help you with that.

• 1:06:08Speaker 04

  I said, oh, that's amazing. And I had a weekend off. So they kind of put this kind of, you know, one of those polystyrene kind of boxes, right? Wrapped with cellophane and they said, left it in my trailer and I went, oh, this is fantastic. This is great. I got back and Mira was heading away, uh, that weekend. So I was going to be on my own. And my plan was, uh, there was a lunchtime kickoff of a football match. So I'm a Liverpool fan. So Liverpool were playing. And I thought, do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to wave Mira off. That's great. And then I'm going to open a couple of bottles of beer and eat banoffee pie when I'm watching this thing. So Mira goes off, I go, yeah, bye.

• 1:06:46Speaker 04

  I'm bending down to get one of the, um, bottles of beer and my back goes. So I'm on the floor in agony going, oh my God, this is just all, I can't move, can't move. It took me 15 minutes to get into the car to drive to a pharmacy, uh, to go, look, I've got, done my back in.

• 1:07:01James Acaster?

  She's out the door, your whole life falls apart.

• 1:07:05James Acaster?

  And you're really planning a nice day as well.

• 1:07:08Speaker 04

  Banoffee pie.

• 1:07:08James Acaster?

  Banoffee good heat.

• 1:07:09Speaker 04

  Couple of beers, couple of beers.

• 1:07:13Speaker 04

  Bloody hell. Anyway, I got to the pharmacy. It takes me 10 minutes to get out of the car. I struggle across. I say to the pharmacist, look, I've got back thing, is there any? He said, these are heat pads. I said, yeah, I'll take those. Painkillers, yeah, take those. Struggled back, got back, um, put the, I still opened the bottles of beer.

• 1:07:29James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:30Speaker 04

  Put them on the top, you know, hobbled to the bloody fridge, got the cellophane thing out, got a fork, sat down in agony. Undid the cellophane, undid the box. It was an apple sponge. I've honestly never been so disappointed in my life.

• 1:07:50Speaker 04

  And then, you know, the, the next working day when I got back there, I didn't know what to say to them because it was kind of, I just wanted to say, you fucking ruined my weekend. And instead I kind of went, the apple sponge was a bit of a surprise. And they said, yeah, we're really sorry about that. We kind of like, we didn't get some of the ingredients. So we did it the day after when you weren't in.

• 1:08:12James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Speaker 04

  It's kind of like, it's great.

• 1:08:14James Acaster?

  It's fucking done me.

• 1:08:15Speaker 04

  That, yeah, that is just, awful. Just the worst possible day. So excited. Started the day so excited. Banoffee pie day.

• 1:08:24James Acaster?

  Apple sponge.

• 1:08:28Speaker 04

  It's like when you kind of.

• 1:08:29James Acaster?

  I've used all these about you that are just like gradually built up this picture and this character that I didn't, I didn't really have in my head at the start. And I think the, the, the donut making a perfect ball that every time you try and bite it, it just rotates in your mouth and that you got it, you thought you, you eat it quick because you didn't want to hurt everyone else's feelings. Been in the cockpit and, and, and secretly recorded it on your cam corner so that you can get as many questions from the pilot as possible. And then it all come into my head when you're so excited about your place and you pull your back and then it's an apple sponge.

• 1:09:09Speaker 04

  It's that thing where you know.

• 1:09:11James Acaster?

  That's really done me.

• 1:09:12Speaker 04

  You know that, you know, when you've had a really awful day and there'd be, there'd be one tiny silver lining, which you'll kind of just, you go, okay, it was that, it was nothing.

• 1:09:22Speaker 00

  And I think it's so funny as well because apple sponge sounds nice. Like that's quite, that's fine, but it's just not.

• 1:09:28Speaker 04

  No, it was, you know, but it was also without custard or any, I mean, there was nothing, it was, it was, but when you want, you know, Benafi pie, anything else is not going to be.

• 1:09:37James Acaster?

  Yeah, I'd have burst, I'd have burst into tears.

• 1:09:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:39Speaker 04

  That, I mean, that's one of my three. Okay. So the second one i- is.

• 1:09:44James Acaster?

  That's the most I've laughed since, um, on this podcast, since, uh, Joe Thomas buried that lamp. Honestly.

• 1:09:50Speaker 00

  Yeah. I, I, I. That is, this is not normal, Sanjeev. Just wanted to know.

• 1:09:54James Acaster?

  It's really, it's really got me.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  I think, I think.

• 1:09:57Speaker 00

  I just think, cause at the beginning of the story, I knew it wasn't going to be Benafi pie. Like there's no way that story could end with you having what you wanted.

• 1:10:04Speaker 04

  I mean, I was hoping.

• 1:10:05Speaker 00

  But I didn't know what it was going to be. So whatever it was, was really going to make me laugh. An apple sponge is perfect.

• 1:10:09James Acaster?

  It's just, it's just how, I think, I think what's funny, what's got me is that you're clearly someone like me who really takes a lot of pleasure out of the little things in life. So that even when you are on concord with the best one you've ever tasted, what you want to do is get plain facts from the pilot.

• 1:10:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. And see how long, and see how long you can stay in the cockpit.

• 1:10:32James Acaster?

  And that's the real thing. It's like, how long can I stay here before it kicks me out? And you're in York and you just want this donut, but you fuck it up for yourself so unnecessarily. And then like, and then with this, like you've, you seem to have done everything right. And you got the whole afternoon lined up. It's like, here we go. Finally it's going to go my way. And then you pull your back and then it's an apple sponge. And, and the fact that it's wrapped in all the cellophane. So you've got to like unwrap it as well. Yeah, just open it. And then, oh, it's not that. You've got to do all that while you've pulled your back.

• 1:11:04Speaker 04

  I mean, every kind of, you know, turn and twist of the cellophane was an act of pain. Every kind of unwrapping was kind of hard every time. And what was keeping me going was going to be, you know, um, opening the lost ark of the covenant. And it was kind of, and yeah.

• 1:11:24James Acaster?

  When you told Mira, was she even remotely surprised by any of this?

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:11:29Speaker 00

  How long, how long was she, how long was she out for? Just like literally out for half an hour, gets back in your, on your back with half a neat and apple sponge, two untouched bottles of beer and you're crying.

• 1:11:39Speaker 04

  She was, she was away for a couple of days. But can I tell you something else about the apple sponge, right? Which was kind of like really annoying. So with, with an apple sponge, you either get kind of the apple sort of baked into the sponge, right? Or you basically have sponge with apple on top in some kind of glazed way. And I'd got the end piece as well, which, where you get the kind of thin edge of the apple on top of it. So you don't even get a whole slice.

• 1:12:04Speaker 00

  A bit dried out as well. Yeah.

• 1:12:05Speaker 04

  And the sides are really hard. So the only edible bit is about three spoonfuls in the middle.

• 1:12:10James Acaster?

  Yeah. That's why they did the cellophane. So like he can't open that before he leaves.

• 1:12:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:12:14James Acaster?

  Then he's going to bring it up. We've got to do that. And we know that's not getting open until he's at his house. And then it would be, he knows it would be out of order to, to actually complain about it when it gets back.

• 1:12:24Speaker 00

  Right, Benafi pie.

• 1:12:25James Acaster?

  So we fucked him over, but like, whatever.

• 1:12:26Speaker 04

  Yeah. You're right. It was much more personal than I realized.

• 1:12:30Speaker 00

  What, what else is on this dessert menu?

• 1:12:32Speaker 04

  Um, eaten mess.

• 1:12:34Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 1:12:34Speaker 04

  But with, with fresh mango.

• 1:12:37James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:37Speaker 04

  Instead of strawberry.

• 1:12:38James Acaster?

  What, what kind of mango is essential here? Because like, there are many people have chosen mangoes on this podcast, have very strong opinions on what the best mangoes are. Cindy V, who is in, in, uh, your show, sent me a box of mangoes recently and I really apologize to Cindy that I now can't remember what type of mangoes they were, but they were very nice.

• 1:12:56Speaker 04

  I'm guessing they were an Alphonso.

• 1:12:59James Acaster?

  No, because I would have remembered those ones. Cause like, I'm, I'm, I've not, not had an Alphonso mango before. I don't think, and I mean, I want to. So if, if Cindy had sent me those, I would have been like, hot diggity dark. I got some Alphonso mangoes. But like.

• 1:13:11Speaker 04

  Would you remember the name if, if you heard it?

• 1:13:13James Acaster?

  I don't think so. I mean, Cindy will be very disappointed with me here because she, she texted me saying, right, I've come back from India. I've got these mangoes. Do you want some? And, uh, I think my initial question was, how many are you going to send me? And she, she was like, Jesus Christ, everyone else would just be excited after eating a mango. Why are you, uh, like, uh?

• 1:13:32Speaker 00

  I'm not going to be able to get through them. You're struggling about when you can eat mango.

• 1:13:35James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:37Speaker 04

  No, there's three or four which are really great. So Alphonso is known as the king of the mangoes.

• 1:13:40James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:41Speaker 04

  In India, certainly. That's my phone call. Um.

• 1:13:44James Acaster?

  Don't, don't send down to pick it up, Sanjeev. Let, let, let, let Ed get it for you. Cause I, I, I don't want, I don't want every piece of all this.

• 1:13:51Speaker 00

  Mira!

• 1:13:52James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:52Speaker 00

  Mira!

• 1:13:54Speaker 04

  Um, yeah. Alphonso Kesar is another mango variety, which is pretty good. There is a Badami mango. Badam is, uh, almond, I think. So, but I think that's the shape of the stone in it. That's really nice. Uh, and honey mangoes. They're all amazing.

• 1:14:11Speaker 00

  Honey mangoes was what I bought recently. I went and bought a box of honey mangoes.

• 1:14:14Speaker 04

  Were you pleased with you?

• 1:14:15Speaker 00

  Absolutely amazing. Yeah. Yeah. But you are committing to eating mango every night.

• 1:14:21James Acaster?

  Yes.

• 1:14:21Speaker 00

  I'd say.

• 1:14:22Speaker 04

  I didn't, why?

• 1:14:23Speaker 00

  Well, because it's just a lot of ba-, it's just a lot of mango to have in the house.

• 1:14:26Speaker 04

  Ah, so what I've done is kind of, I sort of, because mango season's quite limited. Um, uh, unless you, you can get them from other places, but like the mango then you get in supermarkets is from somewhere else. It's not the kind of very juicy, soft ones that you get in this kind of period, is that I bought loads and then have frozen loads. So I've got about three sort of bags full of, of mangoes.

• 1:14:51Speaker 00

  You're chopping them up and then freezing them. Yeah.

• 1:14:53James Acaster?

  Cause like, once I'd got through the box that Cindy sent me, I went to Glasgow to do some gigs, met up with Josie Long for lunch. And she was like, this is for dessert, we've got to go to this place nearby. They've got these honey mangoes. I was like, great. We went, uh, it's a kind of market stall. She bought a box and just gave me the box. And I was like, well, now I've got another box of 12 mangoes that I've got to get through. It's boiling hot in Glasgow. I've got, and I'm on tour as well. So I'm not at home. So I had to go on the road to just eat. I mean, they were delicious. But, uh, me and my tour manager getting through a box of honey mangoes after I've just finished polished off a whole box that Cindy gave me.

• 1:15:32Speaker 04

  Again, um, uh, like the cabbages, I think, had you been Asian, you'd have just gone around the corner, opened a stall and sold them.

• 1:15:38James Acaster?

  Yeah. So that, so are you having the Alphonso mango on this?

• 1:15:41Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:42Speaker 00

  Beautiful, delicious.

• 1:15:43James Acaster?

  In the eaten mess.

• 1:15:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:44James Acaster?

  That's great. Have you, have you actually had that before then? If you had like an eaten mess with some mango?

• 1:15:48Speaker 04

  I haven't.

• 1:15:49James Acaster?

  So this is, this is.

• 1:15:50Speaker 04

  I've imagined it, but now because I've got the frozen mangoes at home, I'm going to defrost some. And then I'm going to make or get someone to make an eaten mess.

• 1:16:00Speaker 00

  I think keep one bag of frozen mangoes back just in case your back goes again.

• 1:16:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's a good idea.

• 1:16:05Speaker 00

  Cause that could go straight on the back. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  Although then, you know, the struggle to get to the freezer to open it would be.

• 1:16:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:13Speaker 04

  Nightmare.

• 1:16:13James Acaster?

  I can't imagine that you're going to do the whole eaten mess. You're going to make it, yeah, sit down.

• 1:16:17Speaker 04

  What I can do is make the.

• 1:16:18James Acaster?

  Chair goes straight through the floor.

• 1:16:20Speaker 04

  Well, this thing, I can make the eaten mess, put it in a polysyrene box and then cover it in cellophane. So I have exactly the same.

• 1:16:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it ends well.

• 1:16:28Speaker 04

  Knowing, yeah, there's a happy ending.

• 1:16:31Speaker 00

  Was there another dessert on, was there one more?

• 1:16:33Speaker 04

  The third one is Holba, which is a kind of, it's a dessert. So you take something like a semolina and you slow cook that, uh, with, uh, ghee, so clarified butter and sugar and, um, milk. And so it kind of dries up. So it's kind of like a soft sponge, not quite lemon jelly, but you know, it's something that you can scoop through like that. It'll hold, but it's soft. Um, and then you put pistachio and almonds on it and stuff like that. And so again, you get it in street food and places in, in India, but my mum's is again, something as a throwback to like the alu paratas that is comfort food from, being a kid.

• 1:17:16James Acaster?

  How often would she make that when you were a kid?

• 1:17:18Speaker 04

  It's usually at celebratory times actually. So it would be kind of like, you know, birthdays and if they were religious days and stuff like that, she'd make it then.

• 1:17:26James Acaster?

  Best birthday, best birthday you've ever had?

• 1:17:29Speaker 00

  Question.

• 1:17:29Speaker 04

  That is a good question. I think, uh, fortieth and fiftieth, actually, which were both organised as surprises by Mira. And that was incredible. So the last one was, uh, about ten, twelve of my friends. That had no idea that we were meeting them and, uh, so you hired a screening room and, uh, watched two films.

• 1:17:54James Acaster?

  Now, I'm guessing.

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:17:56James Acaster?

  You watched.

• 1:17:56Speaker 00

  You're, are you gonna guess two films out of all the films?

• 1:17:59Speaker 04

  Ever.

• 1:18:00James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:01Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:18:01James Acaster?

  Baby's Day Out.

• 1:18:03Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:18:04James Acaster?

  And I guess The Parent Trap.

• 1:18:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, well.

• 1:18:07Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:18:07Speaker 04

  I'm shocked that you were that close.

• 1:18:11Speaker 04

  Uh, it was North by Northwest, which I'd never seen on a big cinema screen.

• 1:18:15James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:16Speaker 04

  And, uh, I think what's rapidly becoming one of my favourite comedies ever, Galaxy Quest.

• 1:18:22James Acaster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:23Speaker 00

  Wow, nice.

• 1:18:24James Acaster?

  That, and that's over the years now, I think more and more, yeah, because at the time, it wasn't that much of a hit, but now people are loving that.

• 1:18:33Speaker 04

  I, I, every time, and I've watched it so many times, but each time I'll notice something new. But also Alan, Alan Rickman in it has the kind of Spock-type character is just fantastic.

• 1:18:43James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:43Speaker 04

  It's one of the best comic performances, you know, along with like, like with Richard E. Grant on, with Nail.

• 1:18:49James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:49Speaker 04

  It's one of those kind of go, you absolutely nailed that character.

• 1:18:52James Acaster?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:52Speaker 04

  Um, you seen it?

• 1:18:54Speaker 00

  I, I, I must have seen it, but not for a long time.

• 1:18:57James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah. Also, I'm imagining if you're in North by Northwest and you're like running along and there's a plane coming behind you. Sha, you're shouting questions to the pilot.

• 1:19:06Speaker 04

  I'd be trying to get in the cockpit.

• 1:19:08James Acaster?

  Yeah, yeah, trying to climb in there.

• 1:19:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. And how many kinds of, kinds of crops can you, with the, uh, oh, right, really? Oh, fantastic. And the CC engine? By plane. Excellent.

• 1:19:19James Acaster?

  Yeah, do you know what? Let's just leave this guy alone.

• 1:19:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's fly away.

• 1:19:24James Acaster?

  I'm gonna read you your menu back now, see how you feel about it.

• 1:19:27Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:19:27James Acaster?

  Uh, you would like Robinson's Mint and Lime with Sparks and Water.

• 1:19:31Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:19:32James Acaster?

  Start. Papa Doms from India. Mix of Spicy and Plain with all the dips. Starter, you want a Prawn Scotch Egg from Jaconi.

• 1:19:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:39James Acaster?

  And Mira's Pappy Chat.

• 1:19:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:41James Acaster?

  Main course, butter chicken masala from Jim Kana with rice and the alu paratha made by your mum. Side dish, black dal from Deshoom, pav bhaji made by Mira. Hispy cabbage from Hoppers and the costas salad from Costas Taverna in Koffu.

• 1:19:57Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:19:57James Acaster?

  Drink, pisco sour to start, an ice cold mango lassi with the meal and the New East San George. Red wine that you had on Concord. Uh, dessert, you would like banoffee pie. Do you want the banoffee pie from that chute so that you actually have it?

• 1:20:13Speaker 04

  Fuck 'em.

• 1:20:13James Acaster?

  Yeah, fuck. Eat a mess with fresh Alfonso mango and is it, how's it pronounced?

• 1:20:19Speaker 04

  Halva.

• 1:20:19James Acaster?

  Halva, made by your mum.

• 1:20:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:21Speaker 00

  Amazing.

• 1:20:23James Acaster?

  Uh, you, you want this alone in a booth? You don't want anyone sharing this with you? Mira's not invited?

• 1:20:27Speaker 04

  No, I kind of like, uh, no, I'd like a succession of people to come in and share bits of it.

• 1:20:33James Acaster?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 1:20:33Speaker 04

  So, and I extend that invitation to two of you.

• 1:20:36Speaker 00

  Thank you very much.

• 1:20:37James Acaster?

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:20:38Speaker 00

  But is it like, are we, is it like shift? So we're allowed to come in for a bit and then we have to leave again?

• 1:20:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, otherwise it'll just fill up. I mean, how big a booth do you think it is?

• 1:20:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true. And he'll need the toilet at some point. And you know that because he's loud.

• 1:20:49James Acaster?

  I can't believe guests get told that ahead of time.

• 1:20:51Speaker 00

  Bet you need one now.

• 1:20:52James Acaster?

  No, actually, I'm all right. I went for one.

• 1:20:55Speaker 00

  During the record, yeah.

• 1:20:56James Acaster?

  For the starter.

• 1:20:57Speaker 00

  Sanjeev, thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant.

• 1:21:00Speaker 04

  Thank you very much. Thanks for creating it.

• 1:21:02James Acaster?

  Absolute pleasure.

• 1:21:03Speaker 04

  And I look forward to you, both of you popping into it when you have a moment.

• 1:21:06Speaker 00

  Yes, we will.

• 1:21:07Speaker 04

  For a very short one.

• 1:21:07Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:21:08James Acaster?

  Absolutely.

• 1:21:15Speaker 00

  Wow, we, what an episode.

• 1:21:16James Acaster?

  Uh, wow, we, what an episode.

• 1:21:18Speaker 00

  Loved, loved that, James.

• 1:21:20James Acaster?

  Brilliant menu. I wanna eat a lot of that stuff. Didn't choose banana split, even got close.

• 1:21:25Speaker 00

  Got close with banoffee pie.

• 1:21:26James Acaster?

  Banoffee pie.

• 1:21:27Speaker 00

  But I'm glad we got a base with banoffee pie because it's the most I've seen James laugh in about five years.

• 1:21:31James Acaster?

  My god, that was one of my favourite stories we've ever had on the podcast. It really, it just, it hit me right there.

• 1:21:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:38James Acaster?

  It was just, I really relate to, um, you know, lining up a little, very simple thing.

• 1:21:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:45James Acaster?

  It's gonna bring you so much joy.

• 1:21:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:47James Acaster?

  It's a really tiny thing, but it's gonna bring you so much joy and you'd think nothing can go wrong. And then he pulls his back and it's apple sponge. Absolutely brilliant.

• 1:21:58Speaker 00

  Don't forget to watch The Split Up, uh, BBC One and BBC iPlayer coming later this month. It's gonna be great.

• 1:22:05James Acaster?

  Gonna be great. Uh, Ed Gamble's about to go on tour with his show Fresh Hell. You should all get tickets for that.

• 1:22:11Speaker 00

  Yes, UK and Ireland tour starting in January twenty twenty seven.

• 1:22:16James Acaster?

  Very exciting. And look, you know, this is the day where we got to speak to Sanjeev Bhaskar. And that's, I, I know you've already done it on the Taskmaster podcast, but for me, I can tick that off.

• 1:22:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:26James Acaster?

  Pretty happy. Got half of Goodness gracious me now. So you've got to get the other two. I think we can do it.

• 1:22:33Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:22:34James Acaster?

  Thank you.