Michelle Wolf

Emmy-nominated stand-up and Netflix star Michelle Wolf has a table booked in the Dream Restaurant this week. She shoulder not done that. Michelle Wolf is touring England in from 11th June. For dates and tickets go to punchup.live/michellewolf https://punchup.live/michellewolf Follow Michelle on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/michelleisawolf and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleisawolf @michelleisawolf Watch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast on Thu 21 May. Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcast https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast Follow Off Menu on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/offmenuofficial and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@offmenuofficial: @offmenuofficial. And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk https://www.offmenupodcast.co.uk/ for a list of restaurants recommended on the show. Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster. Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Video production by Ben Williams and Megan McCarthy for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Artwork by Paul Gilbey https://www.instagram.com/pushgilbey/ (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:13Speaker 00

  Welcome to the off-menu podcast, taking the dirty martini of conversation, stuffing the blue cheese of chat into the big fat olives of humour and dropping those bad boys into the dirty martini. Sorry, everyone listening.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  That was a filthy martini.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  We're doing these visually now, so I'm trying to give it a bit more pizzazz at the top.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, we're trying to give it some... That is Ed Gamble, my name is James Dacasa, together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we're inviting a guest, asking their favourite ever start, a main course, dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order, and this week our guest is Michelle Wolf.

• 0:49Speaker 00

  Michelle Wolf, what a comedian Michelle Wolf is, James.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Such a phenomenal comic. I remember the first time Michelle Wolf did Edinburgh and everyone was talking about her, that was the first time I got introduced to Michelle's comedy.

• 0:59Speaker 00

  She took the city by storm.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, and has only gone on to better and better things since. Everyone loves Michelle Wolf.

• 1:05Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  And she's about to do her show, the best job in the world, round the UK, June, July, and you can get tickets from?

• 1:12Speaker 00

  Punchup.live/michellewolf.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Very excited to see Michelle, hear her dream menu. But of course, if Michelle does choose a secret ingredient we deem to be unacceptable, we'll be forced to kick Michelle Wolf out of the dream restaurant.

• 1:26Speaker 00

  Now, you've picked this one, James.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  Yes, this week the secret ingredient is Wolf Cola.

• 1:31Speaker 00

  Which is something from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which Michelle was not in.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  No, but Michelle's surname is Wolf.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  Wolf, yes, and I do get the connection.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  So when I think about Wolf, this is what I think of, is Wolf Cola, which is the cola, I don't think it actually exists, it's a fake brand of cola.

• 1:47Speaker 00

  It's for humour.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Invented by Danny DeVito's character, but even in the world of Always Sunny, it doesn't exist.

• 1:52Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  Like Frank has invented it when he's pretending to be Dr Mantis Toboggan, and he says that he has something Wolf Cola.

• 2:00Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  So like...

• 2:02Speaker 00

  So if Michelle picks that...

• 2:03Speaker 01

  I'll have to explain that.

• 2:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  Well, she'll know about it, I guess.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, she's not going to pick it, she's not going to say Wolf Cola, what's that from?

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, she'll know it.

• 2:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  So I'll say, you should have known better than to...

• 2:14Speaker 00

  You're out.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, get out.

• 2:16Speaker 00

  You're out of here.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Get out of here, Michelle, but hopefully that won't happen, I'm pretty sure.

• 2:20Speaker 00

  I think we can be pretty positive.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  It's not going to happen.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:24Speaker 00

  I'm going on tour as well.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  It must be said, 2027, fresh hell.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Fresh hell.

• 2:31Speaker 00

  Edgamble.co.uk for tickets.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  Very exciting, Ed. Looking forward to seeing that show.

• 2:36Speaker 00

  Thanks, man. Me too.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  I'm looking forward to chatting to Michelle Wolf.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  This is the off-menu menu of Michelle Wolf.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  Welcome, Michelle, to the dream restaurant.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  Welcome, Michelle Wolf, to the dream restaurant, but it's been a good sudden time.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  Thanks. Sorry, my reactions are, I really, I feel like I don't even know where I am. I, I've literally been with both of my children for like two straight weeks with no help. And then I traveled and the flat is a mess and it's just, I forgot to, I brought the one baby to the studio and I didn't bring diapers or wipes, like the essentials that you need. I remembered the baby and that's it.

• 3:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  And then you guys were very nice and you offered me cake and that's the first thing I've eaten all day today. It's, what time is it? Two? One?

• 3:36Speaker 00

  It's quarter past two.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the first thing I've eaten. I'm running on coffee and.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Hope.

• 3:42Speaker 00

  This, this is how we like our guests. Slightly on edge. Yeah, we want, we want you to, you, on, on the verge of just going fully insane. That's.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  To the point where you guys just welcomed me and I was very much like, what's happening?

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. It was like you properly were in another dimension all of a sudden, like you've been zapped into this dimension.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, like having an adult conversation.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. And it was Ed's birthday cake, which I think is, it's like, having cake is the first thing you've eaten all day and it's gone two o'clock is one thing, but it being birthday cake is even like, that's even worse.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  And I had a part of a birthday cake that you haven't even had yet. I greedily started your cake.

• 4:21Speaker 00

  Well, you know, you checked, you checked before.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  I did, but you could just be polite, you know?

• 4:25Speaker 00

  But no, I'm not polite around food. If I, if I thought I want to start that, I would say to you, absolutely not. Keep your hands off that.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, good.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  This is mine to start.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Yes, he's not polite.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  No, not polite guy.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  Good, okay.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Not the food.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:38Speaker 00

  Thank you, James.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  With other things, he's a gentleman.

• 4:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Food, just knock it out of your hands.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, absolutely. Don't like sharing.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:47Speaker 00

  Don't want any of that.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  Really? Not a food sharer?

• 4:50Speaker 00

  Well, I feel like I've had to become a food sharer because I'd say, what, 90% of restaurants are now small plates sharing concepts?

• 4:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  So I have to be a sharer.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 5:00Speaker 00

  But I'd rather get two of the same small plate and have one to myself.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  Right, okay. Well, I'm the exact opposite. If I never had to order a full meal, this was a very stressful thing for me to pick out my menu.

• 5:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Because I'm not, I love a bits. I love to have, let's just order a bunch of stuff and we'll all have some of it.

• 5:18Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  I don't, I think I don't get asked out to dinner a lot because I don't, I'm like, let's just all share. Who's having their own meal? I don't want, give me a little bit of everything.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  If I, if my, my real dream meal is past hors d'oeuvres, just standing around, having pleasant conversation with two or three people that I could walk away from.

• 5:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. So your dream meal, you want to be standing?

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Standing with small bites of food being handed to me.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  At intervals that I have no control over.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Michelle, we've done hundreds of episodes of this podcast. No one has ever said they want to be stood up for their dream meal.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, the first one.

• 5:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Well, there we go. Yeah.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  I guess that's why you have the best job in the world.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  Yes, the best job.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Because you love standing up.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Well done. What a segue. That is, I mean.

• 6:09Speaker 00

  It's amazing, isn't it?

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Top notch segue to my new hour of stand up that I will be touring here in England. I'm supposed to say just England because I'm not going to other parts of the UK yet.

• 6:22Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  And best job in the world, my new hour, slightly unhinged because I, I'm flailing. I am.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  I am, I don't, I'm, I'm holding it together barely.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Um, but it's together.

• 6:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  And that's the important thing.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, you and I were doing back to back work in progress shows, uh, in London last year. And I would arrive, uh, all week I'd arrive and I'd hear like the last few, like 10 minutes of your show. Every time raising the roof.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  Well, thank you.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  That was work in progress. So this is gonna be.

• 6:56Speaker 00

  And I'm presuming you're sort of raising the roof throughout the whole hour. James's insinuation there was the last 10 minutes.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  It's not insinuation. That's all I heard.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, I was about to say that I would hope the last 10 minutes are good. It's the middle part that's always the if, you know, like start strong.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  I'd just love it if you were doing 50 minutes of pure silence.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:14Speaker 00

  And every time James arrived.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  It was like the door.

• 7:17Speaker 00

  The exact moment that the roof came off.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  I just have someone run in from the theater and be like, James.

• 7:26Speaker 00

  Act happy.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Start talking.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Have you done, have you done UK tours before, England tours before?

• 7:34Speaker 02

  I've only ever done, I've done like London, Manchester, like the, this.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  The standard American comes over and does places.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  Uh huh. You've done the fringe before.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  I've done the fringe. Um, and yeah, this is my first time going to other places and I, when I put it on tour, I, people were also like, are you gonna come further north? Cause I'm not traveling that far. But the reason is, is because I'm basing myself in London. And I have a toddler and a five month old and I'm only traveling to places I can go up and back.

• 8:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yes.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  In one, you know, one go. So, um, I will, as soon as they get older, I promise I will go away from them. For as long as I can, really, I will, I will travel. I will stay in a hotel by myself and it'll be, it'll be a dream.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Michelle Randy went somewhere else.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  A far away look in your eyes.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  I can't even imagine. Oh man, they sleep with me. It's really, this is a vacation.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  They're both in.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Right now is a vacation for me.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  They're both in the bed with you.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  They're both in the bed with me.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  And, um, one, I, I nursed the one and then the toddler's over there just desperately trying to play with my belly button.

• 8:48Speaker 02

  I don't know what it is, just like, and it doesn't, I don't know, you might think, you might think, oh, that's nothing, but it's really weird and invasive.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  And it's just all the time.

• 9:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  You know, and.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, now I think about it. I mean, I very rarely think about my belly button.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  Right.

• 9:08Speaker 00

  So if you, if someone's constantly like, it's like prodding away at the belly button.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:12Speaker 00

  You're very aware you have a belly button then, and I can imagine that's quite uncomfortable.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, and just like really digging in there, you know?

• 9:18Speaker 01

  You got an innie?

• 9:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've got an innie.

• 9:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  I'm almost regretfully at this point, I have an innie because if I had an outie, I feel like it might feel a bit better. But the innie is just a little, tiny little finger.

• 9:28Speaker 00

  I've been talking about this on stage. I, I, I don't think I've seen an outie for maybe 25 years.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  I think if you have an outie, you had a, you had someone who was pretending to be a doctor deliver you. And that's how they cut the umbilical cord and it was just a.

• 9:43Speaker 00

  They were in a rush.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was just, it wasn't a, um, it wasn't, yeah, they just were like, mm.

• 9:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 00

  Here, I guess.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause they can make out, it's like, cause you talk about innies and outies and like, you forget that it's just, it's not just how you were born.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:59Speaker 01

  It's just some doc.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Some doc slipping away and going, that's what, there you go.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  But have you seen an outie? And like, I don't hear about outies anymore at school. Like I heard about, you know, I was obsessed with like, who's got an innie, who's got an outie, right?

• 10:10Speaker 01

  I feel like we're in an episode of Severance.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  But, uh, yeah, I haven't seen an outie.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. Did we imagine, if we just imagined?

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Maybe just imagined.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  It's the Mandela effect.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  I feel, yeah, I feel like it was something we talked about in the schoolyard all the time.

• 10:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  And I don't know if anyone had one.

• 10:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was like Jets v Sharks.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:27Speaker 00

  The innies and outies, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Fuck off.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  You gotta check your own. I think mine's flush.

• 10:35Speaker 00

  You're a robot, mate.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  I'm a robot. I'm Hayley Joel Osbourne.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  On and off button.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Little button there. Um, are you a foodie? You much of a foodie?

• 10:45Speaker 02

  I am, and I'm not at the same time. Like, I like, I, I'm from the middle of Pennsylvania. Um, but then my brother became a chef and so, like, I didn't have real green beans, like, we had canned, like, tinned green beans until, I don't know, I, I don't think I had like a fresh green bean until I was in my twenties. So, growing up, I was very much just like. This is what we eat. And then my brother became a chef and now it's like, oh, look how many types of cheeses there are, you know, like, um, and I don't know. And so I I've been to some really nice restaurants and had some very, very excellent food. And then also, I, I, I

• 11:26Speaker 02

  don't know, I love like, stuff that's not really food. You know, it's just a bunch of chemicals.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Talk us through some of these things. What are your favorite not foods?

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Oh, my gosh. Uh, this, the brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  They're absolutely delicious. Um, I love a cheese curl. Um, with the, you know, the puffy ones, not like the Cheetos.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Right. Yeah, yeah.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  That really.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Covered in like, sort of.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Dust.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, like luminous sort of cheese dust. Yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  And, um.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  I I I was in America recently, and I was very excited at the cinema that you could get a mixture of, uh, toffee pop, like caramel popcorn and cheese popcorn. Very excited about that. And it tasted nice. But then I looked at my hand after having it just completely orange.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  And I don't know if I got the smell out for like, uh, two days.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  That's the smell that's not going anywhere.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  No, it's not. And it's because it's not, it's, it's a chemically made.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Product. Um, first of all, what movie did you see?

• 12:25Speaker 01

  I was watching the new, um, I was watching The Bone Temple.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  What is The Bone?

• 12:30Speaker 01

  The new twenty eight days later.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, okay, okay.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  Um, also, I saw your clip on Seth Meyers, um, and that was, you said one of the funniest things I've heard in a very long time, which was the, um.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  He made a dog come.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that was.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  So, so funny. And also, I used to work with Seth. I used to write on his show. I didn't, he was my boss. Um, I made it sound like we were partners.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  And the amount, I know he thought it was funny, but also was probably like.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  I can't.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  I can't.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can't run with this.

• 13:06Speaker 00

  I can't riff off the back of this.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's like, he doesn't know how to, I don't feel like, like, I remember one time I wrote a joke for him that said something about, I don't even think it said, I think it referred to periods, and he like dropped the paper on the ground. Like, it was, it's just, he gets really like, you know, and so, um, watching you say made a dog come, and then his reaction, and then hearing, uh, Mike Shoemaker laugh in the background, who's the producer, I was just like, this is the best.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  This is the best clip I've seen on the internet in years.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  And now you know, his hand stunk of cheese when that was happening.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  My hand stunk of cheese. Next time I go on, I'm doing a period joke. 100%. Did you see yourself? I heard you just got your period. Straight away.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  My favorite bit was the incredibly specific reference to Americans loving Deshune.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  That was before it started going well.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Then it was a tough gig until I was set about making the dog come.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  That isn't a very American thing. Because I, I don't know, it got to like American TikTok or something like that.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Well, this is what I thought.

• 14:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  I thought every time our American friends or people from the industry come over, they're always like, please can we go to Deshune?

• 14:19Speaker 02

  That, the only reason I know is because my brother and his girlfriend came over and they were like, well, we gotta go to Deshune.

• 14:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  And I'd never heard of it.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  You're getting your own one now in America.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  There's one opening in New York and stuff like that. So like, you know, it won't be as much of a novelty anymore.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  We'll, we'll be able to queue. We won't need to queue to get into our own Deshunes anymore because you guys will.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Finally.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Won't be queuing around the block.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  I feel like it'll not do well in America.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  I feel like the people will be like, Indian.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, could happen. It's not as popular a cuisine.

• 14:49Speaker 00

  Well, there's a Jim Kana in New York now and an Ambassador's Clubhouse. Yeah, which, and I went to Ambassador's Clubhouse for my birthday last night. Amazing restaurant and they've just opened in New York.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:59Speaker 00

  It's apparently going well, but to be fair, the person who told me that was the manager of Ambassador's Clubhouse.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  I feel like he wouldn't be like, by the way, it's not doing well.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  Not good.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  We lose a lot of money.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Everyone on it. In New York, it's going bad.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  And while, while I have you, let me talk about what's happening with Jim Kana.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Deshune are opening apparently. Good luck, Deshune.

• 15:25Speaker 00

  Quickly on the popcorn, shout out Garrett's popcorn.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Big shout out.

• 15:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  Oh, boy, that stuff. Because the first time I had that, you'd probably the same as you.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  When you went on Conan to do the stand up.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  No.

• 15:37Speaker 00

  No?

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Sorry, yeah. No, I, I thought you were going to say Amy and Nish bought me some back from Dubai Airport.

• 15:42Speaker 00

  No.

• 15:45Speaker 00

  No, they they used to give you a big tin of Garrett's popcorn.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:49Speaker 00

  Like have that have that popcorn. And I was like, it was popcorn, right? And then eating the cheese and caramel mixed one, incredible. And then I bought I bought some at Chicago airport when I was in America and just ate on the plane.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. Garrett's is the one.

• 16:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  They um, I only know them from Chicago's airport. I I'm sure you can get them other places, but I just know them from the airport. Do you guys do the Christmas tins of popcorn?

• 16:12Speaker 00

  No.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  Okay, so in America, we have these tins of popcorn that you can get at like any store. It's like into three sections. And then one side is caramel, one side is cheese, and then they have it's cut into like three, like the biggest side, because there's like two small sides and then a big side, and that's butter. And no one wants the butter, but it's the biggest section.

• 16:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  And you, that's the only way, they're not selling the tin with just the two.

• 16:41Speaker 00

  They know what they're doing.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, they know they were like, this is the cheapest one to make.

• 16:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  We'll put the most of that in there.

• 16:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  And then, you know, some parents are gonna be like, you can't, you gotta finish this tin until we can get a new one. So there's a bunch of kids just shoveling in popcorn they don't like.

• 16:58Speaker 00

  I bet there'll be some big spenders out there buying two tins of popcorn, throwing away the butter and putting cheese and cheese and

• 17:06Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  the other one mixed in there.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  Probably. That's probably what the adults that grew up having to eat the butter are doing now.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Now that they have any sort of disposable income.

• 17:15Speaker 00

  They used to dream of that when they were kids.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  They used to talk about tip the butter away.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  Fluff enough to tip the butter away.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  My brother used to make, I have two older brothers and we had that creamsicle ice cream, which is like vanilla and orange sherbet. And he used to make my brother eat the vanilla, because he only liked the orange sherbet part. And my mom wouldn't let him, we wouldn't, she wouldn't buy new ice cream until the old ice cream was gone. And so my poor middle brother just eating vanilla ice cream all the time. Where my older brother's getting all the good orange sherbet.

• 17:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  What have they both become now?

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Well, the older one's a chef, the sherbet-loving one's a chef, and the other one works in insurance.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:56Speaker 00

  If he'd, if he'd had the orange, the orange sherbet side, he might be a chef as well.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  He might be a chef or, you know, I don't know.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Could be living a wild and crazy life instead.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, he could be a captain on a boat somewhere. Instead, he's, you know.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  Vanilla insurance.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, you eat vanilla all the time. You grow up to work in insurance. That makes perfect sense.

• 18:14Speaker 02

  He goes, I need stability. I need to be, I need to be available when people need me to eat the things that they don't want.

• 18:20Speaker 00

  Need consistency every day. Yeah.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  We always start with still or sparkling water. Michelle, do you have a preference?

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Well, I like sparkling better, but because ever since I've had these children, I, I'm so thirsty all the time. So now I drink still water.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  But someday in the future, I'll go back to sparkling. I'm breastfeeding at the moment, so I need as much liquid as possible. And so I just have, I need still.

• 18:49Speaker 00

  Do they advise drinking spa, against drinking sparkling water when you're breastfeeding?

• 18:53Speaker 02

  No, it's just, I find it harder to drink.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  You know, like I can't take big gulps and I'm always very thirsty. I love, I love sparkling water and I feel like it makes me fuller. Like especially if I'm starting a meal and I'm like, okay, don't eat all the bread. Don't eat all the bread. And just have some sparkling water to fill the void. Yeah. It's everyone's favorite liquid bread. But yeah, now I'm relegated to, to still. I would, I'm, I'll finish this whole thing.

• 19:18Speaker 01

  For your dream though.

• 19:20Speaker 00

  Cause you stood up.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  In my dream.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  You standing up. Yeah.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Talking to, we need to say who you'd be talking to while the hors d'oeuvres are going around, but we're aware that you want to be able to leave the conversation when, you know, as soon as you.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  I mean, preferably it's only like one or two of my very good friends, you know, or like someone I love to chat with and not someone I don't really know and have to make small talk with.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Who are your top two friends?

• 19:40Speaker 02

  My top two friends, who, can I name four?

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, sure.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  Cause we're all on one group chat together.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Rank them.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  Right?

• 19:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  Okay, okay. I'll do it this way. We're gonna have Kelly, Elaine, Nocky, Stacy.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Great. How do you know?

• 19:53Speaker 02

  But that's unranked.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  That's unranked.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  How, how do you know that all four?

• 19:56Speaker 02

  Those are just four of my best friends and I met, I met them through comedians. None of them do comedy, but one's married to a comedian and then the others are just comedy adjacent and we're all friends. And, and it's lovely because they understand comedy, but they're not like, you know.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  I think that says a lot about comedians, that your best friends, you met them through comedians.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Why are all these lovely women?

• 20:24Speaker 02

  That are unfortunately.

• 20:26Speaker 00

  Attached to these comedians.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Have to deal with us now both as a spouse and a friend.

• 20:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Can we each have one guess each who the comedian is that they're married to?

• 20:37Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  Just guess a comedian, I guess.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  Just guess any comedian?

• 20:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:43Speaker 00

  I have to think of American comedians.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:46Speaker 00

  Who do it.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Doesn't have to be American.

• 20:48Speaker 00

  Eddie Murphy.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Eddie Murphy's wife.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  Is it Eddie Murphy's wife?

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Is he married right now? I think he's married right now, right?

• 20:54Speaker 00

  I don't know. It was a big swing anyway, I'll be honest.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  No, it's not. I've never, I've never met him or his wife.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  But I'm sure his wife would be added to the text group if you did meet her. I'm sure she's lovely.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  I, I mean, listen, we are a tight knit group and I just, I don't know if she'd fit in. And there's nothing against her. It's more about the friend dynamic we already have.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It takes a lot to crack those dynamics sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  And I will, I also say that it's.

• 21:21Speaker 00

  Also then, when you're talking to Eddie Murphy's wife, there is always the suspicion that it might be Eddie Murphy dressed up.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. You never know. You never know.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  Anyone from his family.

• 21:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it could be him. That's a really good point.

• 21:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  And now I can't be friends with her.

• 21:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  Because it'll be in the back of my head all the time. Yeah.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  Unless it's Hercules. He's not played by Eddie Murphy.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Hercules, the.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  The little kid.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought you meant the Greek god.

• 21:46Speaker 00

  God. He's not played. He isn't either.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  In the clubs, there's, there's a kid who's called Hercules and he's not played by Eddie Murphy. That's just a little kid.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  And he shows off his muscles and the mum's like, show us your muscles and goes Hercules.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Oh, Hercules. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  That while he's eating at the.

• 22:05Speaker 00

  And the clapping is like this, right?

• 22:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it's like that. And he's doing, he's doing this while he's eating.

• 22:10Speaker 00

  A lot of our podcast is remembering things that happened in the clubs.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's all the podcast is. I'm gonna go ahead and guess Kyle Kenehan's wife.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  Oh, I've never met her. Is he married?

• 22:23Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  I don't think he is either. Love Kyle though.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Just had to go for someone.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. You didn't have to go for someone. This is a game you invented.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  But even if you've invented it, you still have to follow the rules.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Who remembers who invented what? Come on.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  You would like sparkling water while you're standing up?

• 22:39Speaker 02

  Yes, I would like sparkling water, preferably with ice and a lemon. There's actually this coffee shop I go to that I get a coffee and they give me a carafe of sparkling water and this glass with like just two gorgeous ice cubes.

• 22:56Speaker 01

  Great.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  And then you just pour the sparkling water over that and it's just an effervescent joy.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Would you want the water from that coffee shop?

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  Your dream water?

• 23:04Speaker 02

  Can we do the water specifically from that coffee shop?

• 23:06Speaker 01

  Want to name the shop, give it a shout out?

• 23:08Speaker 02

  It's this Saga Coffee Shop. I think, I don't know if it's, it's called Saga. I don't know if they also say coffee shop. But it's in, it's in Barcelona and it's just lovely.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  What makes an ice cube gorgeous for you?

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Um, well, this is something I've realized as I've gotten older is that, um, you know how they say like it's the little things? I think it's just because you don't have other things to be happy about, you know? So you're like, this ice cube made me really happy. And that's how I feel a lot about my life at the moment. I like like, um, you know, like, uh, something that looks like it's like really maintained the shape of whatever it was frozen in. You know, like I love those cube ones that you can just pop out of the, in the freezer, like the, the bigger cube ones that are like it maybe inch by inch.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Something. And then, uh, the ones there though, they're like, uh, they're like a cylinder with a hole in the middle.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Oh, wow, no.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's really.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  Like penne pasta?

• 24:02Speaker 02

  Um, a thicker, like, like, uh, because I don't know, can't, I don't like that. This is a bit bad.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  But yeah, yeah, just a little, a phallic, like a tiny penis.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Cut that bit out of the video episode, Benita. People are gonna run hog wild with that.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  It'd be really bad if I started being like, just a, you know.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Just, uh, anyway, uh, please don't, please don't draw a penis into my hand.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Don't give them the idea and still do the thing. Yeah, keep doing the math.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Don't put any penises in my hand. That's all. Don't put anything else in this. Guys. I'm a, I'm a mother. I'm asking you nicely.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  Pop it up or bread? Pop it up or bread, Michelle Wolf? Pop it up or bread?

• 24:55Speaker 02

  Bread.

• 24:57Speaker 00

  We've already heard that you have to sort of prevent yourself from eating all the bread at the start of the meal. So we know you're a bread fan.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Is there any particular bread that you want on this, on this dream meal?

• 25:09Speaker 02

  I really like, you know, when they, there's like a, I don't know, they probably don't, this is probably a very American thing. Sometimes they do like a selection of breads, different types of breads. And sometimes they'll have like a little piece of focaccia that has like a little bit of sauce on it. I love that little bite, that little bite of.

• 25:26Speaker 00

  A bit of sauce on the focaccia.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, we love to add unnecessary things in America. We'll just throw it on there. But it looks like, it looks like someone had focaccia and then it was left over and they put some sauce on it and they cut it up into squares.

• 25:41Speaker 00

  To moisten it up a bit.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, you'd be like, this isn't a day old.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  And then, yeah, and then, yeah, I love that. I love that.

• 25:49Speaker 00

  It's always the bit in those bread selections, it's always the one you want the most that there's the least of, I think.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:56Speaker 00

  Cause they'll like pad it out with all the boring bread.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Like the popcorn.

• 26:00Speaker 00

  It's like the popcorn.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:02Speaker 00

  It's like the popcorn.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  It's like they're, but they're making it. Why are you making the stuff that people don't want? Like you must know, you must get the basket back at the end of the meal and be like, ah, they still don't like this weird grainy one.

• 26:16Speaker 00

  Maybe, but maybe that's why though. Maybe that weird grainy one then goes into the next basket. So essentially they're just retaining grainy bread all night until the basket is mainly grain.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Are you, do you think restaurants do that? They're giving, they're just plopping the bread from someone's basket.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  Some of them must be.

• 26:33Speaker 00

  Some of them must be. And I sort of hope they are in a weird way, rather than just chucking away a load of bread at the end of the night. But then you don't know what people have might have interfered with that bread.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  Someone might have been eating a bunch of cheese.

• 26:44Speaker 00

  Yeah. Old stinker down might have been then.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  Picked it up to get the one they want and put it back in. I don't want to eat that.

• 26:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Do you know what bread I also like? So I just thought of it is that a lot of times on, this is so sad. This is a bread I like. A lot of times on airplanes, they'll offer you a bread and it's like the pretzel roll.

• 27:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  I love a pretzel roll.

• 27:04Speaker 00

  This is someone who's travelled a lot for work.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:07Speaker 00

  Just that's your dream bit where you sit down and you get the bread.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  I got a warm, reheated pretzel roll.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Would you like that? Would you like the airplane pretzel roll with the focaccia with the sauce?

• 27:19Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah, I'll take both of those.

• 27:21Speaker 00

  Do you think it tastes the same as it does on the plane? Or you hear loads of stuff about they add so much extra salt to stuff on planes?

• 27:27Speaker 02

  I feel like if I got it, um, I feel like if I got it on ground, I'd probably be like, what is this? This is three years old?

• 27:35Speaker 00

  This is air bread.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is, yeah, but um, on the plane, it's great. But I think they just warmed it up too, you know, like if it wasn't touched by heat, it would probably be.

• 27:46Speaker 00

  I'd be off.

• 27:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, like a rock, a tiny rock, a pretzel rock.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  The way you're describing that focaccia, the other day I had, um, I went to a restaurant called Perilla in Stoke Newington.

• 27:57Speaker 00

  Shout out.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  And they, they brought out at the top these little bites and it was called, it's called yesterday's bread soaked in mules marinade. You know, that, that, how's it spelled? How's it pronounced?

• 28:10Speaker 00

  Marinier?

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Marinier.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  That was a pun.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 28:13Speaker 01

  You know, that like, you know, when you get a big like pot of mussels and all this sauce, the creamy sauce.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  So they'd, they'd got these bits of bread and they'd soaked them in that.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  Delicious.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  It's amazing, Michelle.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  That sounds like a great way to use yesterday's bread too.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  It was so good and it was like, had like a Parmesan and like parsley kind of crumb on the top, I think it was. It was incredibly, it was so good. And, and could you were saying about the day old focaccia and it's nice and moist in some sort of, it was exactly that kind of vibe.

• 28:43Speaker 02

  I feel like now this is my, I haven't even heard it and I tried it and it sounds like it's my favorite bread.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  It was just so good.

• 28:50Speaker 00

  It does sound exactly what you, like what you described.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, it sounds delicious.

• 28:54Speaker 00

  And I, I knew that bread was good because I got a photo sent to me immediately.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Straight away.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  This is what I know.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Here's the nightmare, he was in America.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  I sent him the photo, but it went green on the text. So he didn't get it. So I had to go on the WhatsApp to send him the photo.

• 29:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  And, and do that instead of, we're, we're on a text group with a bunch of other friends and his phone was messing the whole thing up.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  Oh, you were green for however long you were in America.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  No, because there was, I mean, this is so boring, but um, there was an issue with an eSIM. I was on an eSIM and then it was using a different number and then, but I sorted it out and then immediately received three pictures of bread from different platforms.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  But yeah, I had to send the bread pick quite a few times to make sure he saw it.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  It's very important to me.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm glad that that's a good friend. You were like, he needs to see this and I'm gonna try every avenue. Did you send it to him on Instagram?

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, emailed it.

• 29:45Speaker 00

  Pigeon, I got a pigeon arrived at my window three days later.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Such, so good, that bread.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  You did say, you said sourdough and I, I, I will say, unpopular opinion, don't like it. Some sourdough, too sour.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 29:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't want it sour.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  I want it.

• 30:03Speaker 01

  Well, the reason I accidentally said sourdough is because they also did later on in the meal, they brought out a sourdough course.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  But it was good, I think you'd like it.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  It was sourdough that had seaweed in it.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  Okay, I think I would like that.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  And it was very good.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  With this really nice butter, but I know what you mean. Sometimes like, i- i- if it's not done, if it's just done just because it's like, oh, everyone likes sourdough.

• 30:22Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  So we're just gonna, that's an easy like, one just to say, we'll just make some sourdough, send it out, who cares? They'll, they'll like it no matter what. But like, yeah, you can get a pretty bad one and get.

• 30:31Speaker 00

  Also, it's just everywhere, right?

• 30:32Speaker 02

  It's everywhere.

• 30:33Speaker 00

  It's the default bread now. I didn't, when did that happen, you know? It shouldn't be the default bread. It should be like, oh, sourdough, that's interesting.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, just a, a nice rustic bread is lovely.

• 30:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  And then, uh, yeah, maybe a sourdough. But I've also recently had smoked butter.

• 30:48Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  Which was very, very nice.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, I really like that.

• 30:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, a good smoked butter.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  Salted as well.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  I love a salted butter. If they, if, I've, I've been to, to France enough times that I love their salted butter. But then sometimes, like if you order like a, the breakfast in the morning, they bring you the unsalted butter and I'm like, trying to add salt to it to make it.

• 31:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:10Speaker 02

  Salted?

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  And I always end up too much salt. Anyway, this isn't a very exciting story at all, but I love salted butter. Salted butter.

• 31:18Speaker 00

  I now don't see the point of unsalted butter. I know people use it in baking and stuff, but.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, keep it to baking. Don't, why are you bringing me a pat of unsalted butter?

• 31:27Speaker 00

  No one wants that.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  What are we doing? Even if you have it on like a, with adding jam or something, a salted butter.

• 31:32Speaker 00

  Mmm, delicious.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  So good.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  Salt goes well with sweet, just.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  It's perfect.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Does any other food come in pats? Butter's the only food I can think of that comes in a pat.

• 31:41Speaker 00

  I mean, I can.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 31:43Speaker 00

  I mean, even pate?

• 31:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can't even get a pat of pate.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, you couldn't. I mean, they should sell it. They should sell little.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  They should do.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  You should have, um, you could have pate merch.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  Where you.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  We keep saying we've got to have like some sort of like, you know, off menu branded food that we can get on the shelves in the supermarket.

• 32:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  Maybe pate pats.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, pate pat.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Little pats of pate.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Are you guys fans of pate?

• 32:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, I like pate. I like a good pate.

• 32:12Speaker 00

  I like a.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Best thing to have is your merch. Something you feel so so about.

• 32:18Speaker 00

  James's face on all the pats with a little speech bubble saying, I could take it or leave it.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  They're gonna leave it.

• 32:22Speaker 00

  It is fine. This is fine.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  If it's there, I'll have it.

• 32:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  But what's a pat doesn't mean it has to be small, right? So surely a slice of pate, you could call a pat of pate. Cause the only other time.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  I don't know. I feel like pat is a very specific size.

• 32:38Speaker 00

  I don't know what cows you guys have met. Cow pat. They ain't doing little shits, are they not? That's the only other time you hear pat.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  But I feel like that's a distinctly different version of pat.

• 32:48Speaker 00

  Same word though, isn't it?

• 32:49Speaker 01

  They both come out of cows.

• 32:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, like, but this is a pat too.

• 32:53Speaker 00

  Oh, that's a pat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, and there's.

• 32:56Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  I guess like.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  Cause words can have different meanings.

• 32:59Speaker 01

  Words have different meanings, yeah.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  I just realised that.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  You can pat someone with your hand.

• 33:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Pat sharp.

• 33:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, different.

• 33:05Speaker 01

  You won't know pat sharp.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  I'm guessing it's a person though, right?

• 33:07Speaker 00

  But he's not this big though.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 33:09Speaker 00

  He's not tiny though.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  Never met him.

• 33:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  Never met him. I don't know what 90s celebrities. They're pretty small.

• 33:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 33:18Speaker 00

  Okay, I'm willing to admit that, yeah, you don't get a pat of pate.

• 33:20Speaker 01

  If someone bought you a massive plate of butter and they said, there's your pat of butter, you'd go, hold on a second. What's this thing? It's a cow pat? What do you want from us?

• 33:29Speaker 02

  You didn't specify what kind of pat you wanted.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:32Speaker 00

  This is why.

• 33:32Speaker 02

  You get a butter shaped man, you're like, this is a pat of butter.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:36Speaker 00

  Cover your hand in butter, just slap him on the back. There's your butter.

• 33:39Speaker 01

  That's what you asked for. Ha ha.

• 33:41Speaker 00

  This is why I don't run a restaurant.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  I think you'd be good running a restaurant. We go and do it.

• 33:46Speaker 00

  Too pernicketty about language though.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, too pernicketty.

• 33:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  But a great word.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, that is a great word, isn't it?

• 33:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  Pernicketes.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, pernicketes.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  It's a great name for a restaurant.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  Pernicketes pat of pate.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Good luck ordering that.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, now we've got into a nursery rhyme. Yeah.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  Your dream starter.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  My dream starter is, okay, at Nobu, they have this spinach dry miso salad. That I love. I could eat it every single day. I don't know what makes a dry miso.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  But I, I, I love this salad. It's just a huge plate of spinach and whatever this dry miso dressing is.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  It's good to have a guest on who has a favorite Nobu dish, isn't it?

• 34:32Speaker 02

  It, am I stupid?

• 34:34Speaker 00

  No, no, this is perfect. We, um, we had Robert De Niro on this podcast.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 34:40Speaker 00

  And spent a long.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  Co-owner of.

• 34:41Speaker 00

  Co-owner of Nobu. Spent a long time trying to get any dishes out of him, really.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  And none?

• 34:47Speaker 00

  No, he just.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  You think he's maybe never eaten there?

• 34:50Speaker 00

  No, he has, but he just kept saying they, they bring me whatever's good. But he tried that with every course we asked him for. He went, I just have whatever's good. And we had to be like, we're gonna have to nail you down on something here, Bob.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  We knew we were gonna bring Nobu up at some point.

• 35:01Speaker 00

  So we obviously brought Nobu up because he, you know, he's a part owner of it or whatever. And he was like, I just have whatever's good.

• 35:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. But what we wanted from him is what you've just said.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  A specific Nobu dish.

• 35:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, a specific Nobu dish. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  So it's nice to finally get it.

• 35:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Geez, Bob.

• 35:21Speaker 00

  So, yeah, this dry, because I can't imagine what dry miso is. Are they, because it's wet. Every miso I've seen has been either in soup form or, or a wet sort of paste.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't know if it's a, like a, you know, like a bullion cube of miso or something, maybe? I don't know.

• 35:38Speaker 00

  They're dehydrating it or something and then putting it in there.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  But it's a, it's really good. He should try it if he has. Because I feel like that's something they wouldn't bring out. They wouldn't be like, this is good today.

• 35:49Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  You know? They wouldn't be like, the spinach is particularly, you know?

• 35:53Speaker 00

  I'd imagine they're just absolutely shitting themselves in the kitchen, being like, he just said whatever's good. What is good? I'm completely, it's undermined all my confidence.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  What did we give him last time? I wonder if there's like a running, like, menu of what he's eating?

• 36:07Speaker 00

  Like a chart, the Bob chart, yeah.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, this last time. Do not give it to him again. Michelle will shout it this out. Send that, send that out. It's sufficiently good this week. So it's just spinach and this miso dressing. Was there ever stuff in there?

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can add like a tuna tatata here to it, which is

• 36:26Speaker 01

  I would do that.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, very, very good. That makes it more of a, not a meal, but like a heartier thing. But it is a large portion of spinach as well. And it's, it makes me feel good because it's spinach.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  You feel like you're getting some nutrients from it and yeah.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  I'm sure that there's got to be stuff in the dressing that makes it, you know, particularly unhealthy for you.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  That's why it's delicious, right?

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it wouldn't be delicious if it was, if it was like spinach with a little bit of like lime or, you know, like it'd be like, this is spinach.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, every time. I, I, I had a salad today. On the way here, I was like, make sure you get a healthy lunch. I was walking past the salad place I hadn't been to before, so I'm going to get that now in advance. And I've got a healthy lunch in the back. I got it. As soon as I had my first mouthful, I thought, this is delicious. And I was like, and then my next thought was shit.

• 37:12Speaker 00

  That's, but yeah, that's bad for you.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Shit.

• 37:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's not a

• 37:15Speaker 01

  This is a really good, delicious salad. It's got a dressing on that I didn't ask for.

• 37:19Speaker 02

  Right. And now you're just eating a sandwich that's in a salad form.

• 37:26Speaker 01

  Yes, and then you realize that's what happened.

• 37:27Speaker 00

  Every time I went to

• 37:28Speaker 02

  Could have just had a sandwich, you know?

• 37:30Speaker 00

  Every time I went to Sweetgreen in the States, that happened to me.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 00

  You pick all of the ingredients and you're like, I'm being such a healthy boy today. Protein, nutrients, iron. And then like, what dressing do you want? I want that one. Do you want it light, medium or heavy? Heavy.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  You would say heavy?

• 37:44Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Half a bottle goes in there, makes it up. It's like eating soup.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  Also, it's a massive bottle that has about four nozzles on it.

• 37:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:51Speaker 01

  In Sweetgreen.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  They like go like that. It's like, that's four bottles in one that you've gaffa taped together and you're putting them all on my salad.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  Sweetgreen is a, it's really a dangerous place because they're like, you want to add anything else?

• 38:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:04Speaker 02

  And it's all just right there. And you think like, well, that'll be good on it.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  I do that all the time. I don't think about the, the structure of the salad or like the, you know, the, the flavor profile. And then I end up adding something and I'm like, now I've got like a Mexican Asian salad. And no one's happy and it's not a, it's really.

• 38:22Speaker 00

  You've upset two communities.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And everyone's just, the whole salad is fighting. I used to work at, one summer I worked at a Subway sandwich shop and.

• 38:33Speaker 00

  Great.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  The amount of mayonnaise you put on those sandwiches is like, it's, it's so much mayonnaise. And then people would be like, more mayonnaise. And you're like making it and they're like, they're like, no more than that. And it was just like, I put on so much mayonnaise onto some of these salads and it, there's an, I'm, from Hershey, Pennsylvania, and there's an amusement park in Hershey called, um, it's called Hershey Park.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  If you can believe it.

• 38:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:00Speaker 00

  Some of the names of these places are crazy.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  You'll never find it.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  And, um, there's like a, there was a Subway sandwich shop in the park that I worked at, but it was right by the water rides. So we're like loading mayonnaise onto these shops while people that are like drenched in like overly chlorinated amusement park water.

• 39:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, stinky.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  They're just like, more mayonnaise.

• 39:24Speaker 00

  Sopping wet.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  T-shirts sticking to them, like dripping.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Asking for mayonnaise. Dream job. You got a free sandwich.

• 39:36Speaker 00

  Best job in the world.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, best job in the world.

• 39:38Speaker 00

  That's what the show is about.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  I think James has got some questions about working in Subway. I heard your, your brain start pinging.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  I was excited. That's the first person we've had who's worked at Subway.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  You know.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  It's actually really fun.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, because it's just, it's so gratifying. They ask for a sandwich, you make the sandwich.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  You get used to the smell?

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Um, you, when you're in there, you're like, oh, what smell?

• 40:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  And then you leave and you're like, this smell. The smell that's now in my car, you know, you have to change.

• 40:11Speaker 00

  Is it true they pipe, pipe the smell out onto the street?

• 40:14Speaker 02

  That wasn't true in, in our little stand in the park.

• 40:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  Um, I think we were, um, competing with too much chlorine anyway. But I don't know if that's true everywhere. They might, they might.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  You can't, you can't speak for the corporation.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  I can't speak for the corporation.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  I've heard they pump it out onto the street. So you're like, hmm, subway.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  That's what franchises, so maybe some do and some don't.

• 40:37Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  You know?

• 40:38Speaker 01

  I, I accused her, I accused, I, I just thought it was common knowledge that Eminem well did that. But the, uh, the guy who I said it to worked there flipped his lid.

• 40:48Speaker 00

  Really?

• 40:49Speaker 02

  Really?

• 40:49Speaker 01

  He was like, we do not do that. Do not, that is false. And everyone's going around saying that we do not pump the smell into Leicester Square. Do not tell people that.

• 40:57Speaker 00

  Imagine being a company man for Eminem's.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:00Speaker 02

  That sounds like they definitely pumped the smell.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, this is, this is true. You're pumping.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, okay. So in, in Hershey, uh, where Hershey Park is. They, they used to have the chocolate factory there.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  And it would smell like chocolate, but then they moved the factory to Mexico, but the town still smells like chocolate. So it's, they're pumping it in from somewhere.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  That's suspicious, isn't it?

• 41:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  Going through the sewers. Do you reckon that when they had the Hershey factory, they were like dumping like oil drums of chocolate?

• 41:29Speaker 02

  Just all under the city?

• 41:30Speaker 01

  Into the sewers and there's all the turtles under there and stuff.

• 41:33Speaker 00

  This is gonna be a great sequel to Erin Brockovich.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Instead of, it's everyone just has obesity?

• 41:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  Erin Chockovich.

• 41:42Speaker 00

  Erin Chockovich.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Erin Chockovich.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Good at Goonnet.

• 41:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:47Speaker 00

  Thanks, James.

• 41:48Speaker 02

  That was the best, uh, what do we call that? A pun? Is that a pun?

• 41:50Speaker 00

  Wordplay.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Wordplay.

• 41:52Speaker 00

  Great humor, just general great humor.

• 41:53Speaker 02

  General, great humor. Buy it.

• 41:55Speaker 00

  Buy it. Buy it, gamble.

• 41:58Speaker 00

  That's why I say after all my jokes.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:00Speaker 00

  My torch has a so long. Another great joke.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Definitely buy me, Ed Gamble. I don't go like this.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  Straight into the camera.

• 42:10Speaker 00

  Straight into the camera. Today's episode of the Off Menu podcast is sponsored by Cozy, the home of possibilities, James.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Oh, man, Ed, Cozy has everything you need to make your home feel like it has a plan. Do you know what I mean?

• 42:23Speaker 00

  I know what you mean. Cozy is a wonderful furniture company. It makes furnishing your whole home easy. Sofers, dining, storage, rugs, bedroom, even outdoor, all designed to make your space feel put together without the usual furniture stress. And James, we talk about dream meals on this podcast, but you know what? We very rarely talk about where we want to eat this dream meal.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  Sure, yeah, I like it when it does come up. It is very important. It changes the whole meal, the setting, the vibe. And Cozy's modular, customisable furniture for the whole home does just that.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  And the meal, James, doesn't necessarily end at dessert. We've often talked about wanting to take our maybe final course through to a comfy room. And I think this is where Cozy can really come in handy. Go and relax on the sofa, maybe even eat your meal at a lovely, beautiful, cosy table, linger a little bit, move through with coffees and dessert to a lovely couch. But I know what you're like, James, you're a mucky pup.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  I'm gonna spill stuff everywhere. Is that gonna ruin the Cozy furniture?

• 43:18Speaker 00

  No, don't worry about that, James, because it's highly washable, James. It's sauce, wine, sparkling water, dessert crumbs, you telling one of your big stories and sloshing a coffee everywhere. Don't worry, you can pop it in the wash.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  Oh, so you're saying Cozy makes every day at home feel like my best day?

• 43:34Speaker 00

  Absolutely, that's exactly what I'm saying. And with Cozy, your home can grow with you, adapting to new spaces, new styles and every era of your life, James. I think it's so hard, especially when you move somewhere new, to immediately make that place feel like yours, that it's been put together well. And that's where Cozy comes in.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  And because it's Cozy, the furniture isn't just good looking, but actually practical. Modular pieces, easy assembly, washable and interchangeable covers and free design consultations if you want help making the whole room work.

• 44:02Speaker 00

  And it's easy to order, ship and assemble and maintain, James. The only way is the Cozy way.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  Visit Cozy today, that's C-O-Z-E-Y dot com and make yourself at home.

• 44:21Speaker 00

  Your dream main course.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  My dream main course. Okay, so this took me a really long time to think of and I almost went with just, I almost gave up because I couldn't, I couldn't figure it out and I was just gonna go turkey and cheese sandwich because I just couldn't think of what my, I, I love so many foods. And this one, it's my dream main course, even though I cannot pronounce it correctly.

• 44:44Speaker 00

  Fantastic.

• 44:45Speaker 02

  It's the cacio e pepe. Is that, am I saying it?

• 44:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, I understood what you meant. So it feels like there was, you know, you were circling around the pronunciation.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  I don't know if I say it right.

• 44:54Speaker 00

  What do you say?

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Cacio e pepe?

• 44:56Speaker 02

  That sounds better than what I said.

• 44:58Speaker 01

  But I don't know if that's right.

• 44:59Speaker 00

  It's cacio e pepe, right?

• 45:00Speaker 02

  Cacio, cacio.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  I've like, I've like missed out a syllable.

• 45:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, you say cacio e pepe.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  Cacio e pepe.

• 45:10Speaker 00

  But I knew what you meant.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  I feel like if I start with a C and end with pepe.

• 45:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're fine.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  They'll get it.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  I don't know. There's a lot, there's a lot of ways that can go wrong.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  I wouldn't follow that exact rule.

• 45:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  Caccuccia.

• 45:26Speaker 00

  Pepe, pepe, just say pepe quickly. Everyone knows what you mean.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  E pepe.

• 45:30Speaker 00

  It's probably, it's gotta be my favorite pasta dish as well.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  I love it. I went to, um, I took a little day trip to Rome for my 40th birthday this year and I had it three times in one day.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  Hold on. We just glossed over that you've also had a 40th birthday this year, same year Ed Gamble's had a 40th birthday?

• 45:46Speaker 02

  Was, last night or yesterday.

• 45:48Speaker 00

  Yesterday was my 40th.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. Wow.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  Looks like I'm the young buck of the part.

• 45:53Speaker 00

  No, James is 42.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  No, I'm not. 41.

• 45:57Speaker 00

  I don't know when this is coming out.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  41, you cunt, you're a pepe.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  That's the best one, yeah.

• 46:03Speaker 00

  Sometimes you're two years ahead of me and sometimes you're only one.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, and sometimes I'm only a pun ahead of him and I give it to him.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  You're old now, man. You're the old man of the pod.

• 46:14Speaker 00

  But you're older than me.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  This is, I don't make the rules.

• 46:19Speaker 00

  Happy to be forty anyway.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  I love forty.

• 46:22Speaker 00

  Forty's good.

• 46:22Speaker 02

  I'm, I can't wait. I wanna just get older and older, which is luckily how it works.

• 46:30Speaker 00

  So you're gonna stick to the linear rules of time?

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Yes, yes. I would really like to because anytime any show goes into a space-time continuum, I get very confused.

• 46:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  I tried to follow along with Loki and it was just.

• 46:41Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  Every time we go to a different, I'm like, what, what timeline are we on now? It really, it really, it's hard for me.

• 46:49Speaker 00

  I like, I like time loops though. I love a time loop film. I love that as an idea.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  Same day over and over. Oh, yeah.

• 46:55Speaker 00

  I want, I want that.

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Groundhog Day.

• 46:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  I was thinking the other day, they got to start, like, someone's got to open it. You know, sometimes they open like, um, little parks or whatever where you can go and it's like Victorian times. And everyone's dressed in Victorian times. They should open a place that is a time loop and you can stay there for the whole week. And every day, the whole town goes around in a loop and does that. And you can choose a different thing to do each day.

• 47:18Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Or maybe just one bit until you get it right and you complete it. And just like go there.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  What would be getting it right?

• 47:24Speaker 01

  I guess like there were certain like little storylines, missions.

• 47:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. Stuff that you can do that would result in like, you know, different outcomes and different like ways of winning.

• 47:34Speaker 00

  Well, there's some immersive theatre things that are a bit like that. There was a show in New York for a long time called Sleep No More. That was like the same, all the actors and all of the dancers and stuff in the show is in a massive warehouse.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:46Speaker 00

  Did the same thing maybe three times within the course of the show and you could go anywhere you wanted. It was like open world.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 47:52Speaker 00

  And there were little things to solve and do, or you could watch different things at different times and.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  And you could try the same one over and over until you get it right?

• 47:59Speaker 00

  You could do.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Like Groundhog Day?

• 48:00Speaker 00

  Yeah. You could do. It was more of a sort of theatrical experience than.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Hmm. I wanna do Groundhog Day.

• 48:06Speaker 00

  Desperate way to get life right.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  This is, this is, uh, my reaction to Sleep No More every single time has been, uh, I like, I, I've heard of it.

• 48:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  And I just generally agree because I don't have any idea what it actually is.

• 48:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  Where I'm just like, yeah, it's a theatrical experience.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  Ed's always done it.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:27Speaker 01

  Whatever it is, people bring it up and he'll be like, yeah, yeah, I did that.

• 48:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  You've done Sleep No More.

• 48:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  He's done everything.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  Everyone brings up stuff and he's like, yeah, I saw that. I did that. I've, I've eaten that.

• 48:37Speaker 00

  I went to Sleep No More.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Time.

• 48:39Speaker 00

  Well, we, I was on holiday with my wife.

• 48:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:42Speaker 00

  Oh, lovely.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  He hasn't got two kids. His belly button's absolutely unmolested, just completely. He's having a great life.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  No one's been in there for years.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  He's actually just going places to see if anyone would be like, is this where, will you touch my belly?

• 48:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, I got kicked out. I tried with all the different actors at different times in the show, just lifted up my T-shirt.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  Have a touch.

• 49:01Speaker 00

  Get in there. It is great, but it started very late. I think it started at 11pm and went on till about three in the morning. So

• 49:07Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  And they separate you from who you go with.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  Ben's shaking his head.

• 49:11Speaker 02

  I'll say this, that sounds like a nightmare to me.

• 49:13Speaker 00

  Right.

• 49:13Speaker 02

  That sounds like a genuine.

• 49:15Speaker 00

  And you have to wear masks, everyone in the audience.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, I hate masks. I'm out. I don't like, I'm not a mask person.

• 49:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  I don't like it. What do you, what do you?

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Covid?

• 49:26Speaker 02

  Those masks are fine. Let's not get into a whole thing.

• 49:30Speaker 01

  Covid, Michelle?

• 49:31Speaker 02

  People are gonna be like, now I see anyone with a mask. Now I see a little old lady with a mask. I'm like, what are you doing? That's scary.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  Joe, Joe, I mean, obviously everyone in Covid hated the people who wore the masks with their nose sticking out the top. I hate those people even more when I see them now.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  In the modern day, in 2026, I go on the tube and someone's wearing a face mask, but they got their nose sticking out. I'm like, what are you doing? We all, we.

• 49:57Speaker 00

  On so many levels.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  I thought we'd sorted this out.

• 49:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  That you don't have your nose sticking out. We all, this got covered years ago.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Right.

• 50:04Speaker 01

  How the hell are you still doing this?

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Cause I thought it was, I, I just assumed the people with their nose out were the people who didn't wanna wear a mask.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:12Speaker 00

  And they were making a point.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Right.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  And, but that seems like someone who's electively wearing a mask, but wearing it wrong.

• 50:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Do you ever just go up and go, it's like this?

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, you want to. I want to so much. Go like, what, what do you think that's doing? As you breathe out your nose into this carriage.

• 50:30Speaker 00

  Like, what? But what if you did that and then realized that their mouth was so low on their chin? And that's why they have to do it.

• 50:36Speaker 01

  You move up and immediately.

• 50:37Speaker 00

  Their mouth is like there, yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  Right at the bottom of their chin.

• 50:41Speaker 02

  It's for low mouthers.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  What the hell are you doing? Get your hands off me. This was for everyone's good. Yeah, that would be bad.

• 50:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. Actually, in that scenario, I would feel silly.

• 50:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to worry about these people.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  They got a little.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Oh, you've really put your foot in your mouth.

• 50:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  Now I'm just trying to think of wordplay as we're talking.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  But you're not signing any of it off with that was a joke by Michelle Wolf.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Oh, you're right.

• 51:05Speaker 00

  You need to be doing that. Yeah, yeah.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  It should be, yeah. I'm going to sign up. That was by me.

• 51:10Speaker 01

  Should have done that when you wrote for Seth Meyers.

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 51:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  So he would have to be like, and that's why I love periods. By me, Michelle Wolf. So you get the credit every time.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah, I think that was, that was a problem. I should have thought of that.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  Was there that category of like jokes Seth can't say or something?

• 51:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, jokes Seth can't tell.

• 51:29Speaker 00

  Did you make it into that?

• 51:30Speaker 02

  No, that was, that was after I left. But I did come back one time and I did some jokes Seth can't tell.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  Um, I did, I did some of the ones, um, which I think I got one joke about, I did get a period joke in there about, um, it, um, we used to do this thing, um, new slogans where we'd make up slogans for things that don't have slogans. And, um, we did, um, tampons for whales or something like that called tampons.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  That's wordplay. Yeah, that's wordplay. Sign it off.

• 52:06Speaker 02

  But that's the one I did on, uh, is, I don't, the joke Seth can't tell is something about tampons.

• 52:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. Did he drop the paper on that one?

• 52:14Speaker 02

  No, he just looked at me like, you finally got it out?

• 52:18Speaker 00

  The tampons joke.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  Are you happy now?

• 52:21Speaker 00

  Have you made it at home in the Cacio e Pepe?

• 52:23Speaker 02

  No, I haven't ever attempted it.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  It's great.

• 52:25Speaker 02

  Is it easy?

• 52:26Speaker 00

  It's easy. Yeah, yeah. You're basically frying up pepper and then emulsing, using pasta water in the pan and like emulsifying the cheese into it. And then put the pasta in.

• 52:35Speaker 02

  What kind of cheese is it? Parmesan?

• 52:37Speaker 00

  Pecorino, I want to say.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Do you know who else chose it?

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Who?

• 52:41Speaker 01

  And you can decide if you want to do, um, because it's a bowl of pasta. If you want to do a lady, lady in the tramp with this guy.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Yes. Who is it?

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Todd Barry.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  Todd Barry would be the worst person to do a lady in the tramp with.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  In the history of the world, let me tell you a very fun Todd Barry story. He's gonna hate that I'm telling this story. So, um, we, we were at the Comedy Cellar in New York and, um, talking about flying because we're all comedians and we're all like, it's probably like a Wednesday and we're all flying on Thursday. And Todd comes up in the conversation, he goes, he goes, I don't mind a middle seat. And then I think for the next three hours, and I'm not even exaggerating, we made fun of him for saying that a middle seat's not that bad.

• 53:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:25Speaker 02

  Like, you fly all the time and you've gotta have points and you gotta be some sort of Delta or United, something.

• 53:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  And, and he's like, the middle, the middle seat, I mean, you got, it's your whole, most of your life is flying and you can't have a window or an aisle. I mean, we went into him, to this day, I still talk to him about middle seats.

• 53:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, anyway, Todd Barry, I, I mean, I guess I could do a lady in tramp with him because I'd have the window.

• 53:55Speaker 00

  Very rare to see a side by side lady in the tramp. Cause they're facing, they're facing each other, you can't really do all of them, you'd have to have the person in the corner.

• 54:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then just bump cheeks.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  I feel like Todd would hate a lady in the tramp moment, like.

• 54:11Speaker 00

  He's a germaphobe, he'd hate it.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, he would be like, you have your own bowl of pasta and I'll have my own bowl of pasta.

• 54:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:17Speaker 02

  And we'll eat it in separate rooms. And that is his dream lady in the tramp scenario.

• 54:22Speaker 00

  If you pushed a meatball across the plate with your nose to Todd Barry, he'd go, I've not eaten that. Yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  He might murder me. He might, he might just be like, that's enough. We've had enough of you, you made fun of me for the middle seat for three hours and now you're trying to get me to eat a meatball with your nose.

• 54:37Speaker 00

  I just bumped into Todd Barry in New York, actually. Oh. In the, in the hotel bar of where I was staying and we'd been having a drink and then I turned around, we got up to leave and Todd was sat there waiting for a friend and genuinely thinking about it, I think he was in the middle seat. Great. I think he was in the middle seat and it was a completely empty table, his friend hadn't arrived yet.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Just a middle seat.

• 54:57Speaker 00

  He was in the middle seat.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  Loves a middle seat. Maybe he likes the comfort.

• 54:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  Maybe it's like, he's like, I'm surrounded. But I love Todd Barry. I love Todd Barry.

• 55:04Speaker 00

  Oh, he's amazing.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  I love Todd Barry.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't think he, I think he'd stay so far away from a lady and the tramp situation.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  It wouldn't happen.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  You would also, I assume, not like a lady and the tramp situation, because that's very much sharing.

• 55:18Speaker 00

  Sharing, that is the ultimate share, isn't it? And I couldn't, I think I liked the idea of the romance, maybe of a lady and the tramp situation, but I'd be too competitive with gay, I'd just suck the pasta up straight away.

• 55:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  We did one once.

• 55:31Speaker 00

  We did do one once for a photo shoot.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  Who was who?

• 55:34Speaker 01

  I like to think I was the lady.

• 55:38Speaker 00

  I guess I was the tramp.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  I mean, we were pretty much just dressed like this.

• 55:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  But like, you know.

• 55:43Speaker 00

  We weren't dressed like dogs, is what James is saying.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, he dresses like dogs.

• 55:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  We weren't dressed like the characters.

• 55:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  We didn't know who was who.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, and there was no sort of like stereotypical Italian waiter playing the accordion behind us either.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 55:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  I assume for the podcast, it wasn't.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  He refused to be involved in the photo shoot. He gave him the accordion and the little moustache. He wouldn't do it, even though he always does an Italian accent. He's always speaking Italian accent all the time.

• 56:09Speaker 00

  That waiter must be so like down about his life, don't you think?

• 56:13Speaker 01

  What, the actual lady and the tramp waiter?

• 56:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's like, I'm playing accordion for some dogs snogging.

• 56:19Speaker 02

  Well, I don't know, people really love their dogs.

• 56:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, but they're not his dogs. He's working at the restaurant and he's demoted to, they go, go over there and look after the dogs at that table. They're, by the way, they're gonna get off with each other.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  I'd rather do that than deal with humans.

• 56:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  That's a good point.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  Than like going out there serving all the stupid customers in the actual restaurant and go, great, I'm on dog duty.

• 56:37Speaker 00

  I'm going in the alley to look after these snogging dogs.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  I tell you what, if I was walking along and I saw two dogs eating a massive plate of spaghetti and meatballs, I'd watch that for the whole thing.

• 56:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, that actually sounds, and also eating it, eating it that way, you know, like.

• 56:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 02

  Not just chomping it down.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, quite thoughtfully to a movie job.

• 56:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Really, really classy dogs at the end of the day.

• 56:58Speaker 00

  Dogs with lips.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  Now, if I saw two humans doing that in a restaurant, I would hope I was not their server.

• 57:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'd flip the table.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  I would be like, you guys gotta go.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  What do you think about this?

• 57:09Speaker 00

  Here we go.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Yesterday, I bumped into some friends and one of them was telling a story to the other two and they were a couple. And I'd say this couple, every time I see them, they're being a bit too public display of affection, wherever I see them. While one of my friends is telling her friend a story and they're looking and making eye contact with each other, this friend's boyfriend, while still maintaining eye contact with the person telling the story, kisses his girlfriend on the shoulder while they're talking. So they're looking at each other and while she's telling the story, he kisses his girlfriend on the shoulder and they're all still just making eye contact with each other like that. I thought it was appalling.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  I would say, shoulder not do that.

• 57:57Speaker 00

  Signing off.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  That's a joke by me, Michelle.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  Does it even make sense? It made sense in my head.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  I think it's one of the worst parts I've ever heard.

• 58:09Speaker 00

  It was bad and I think you knew it was bad, which is why you only signed off as Michelle. You didn't give your surname.

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Shoulder not do that.

• 58:16Speaker 00

  Shoulder not do that. That was by Michelle.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  So the whole time you're telling, like you get to the kiss on the shoulder part. I'm like, shoulder, should, should not do it. Shoulder should not, shoulder not. In my head, in my head, it felt like it was gonna be good.

• 58:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:37Speaker 02

  As soon as it came out of my mouth, I was like, I don't think it tracks.

• 58:41Speaker 00

  I'm still sort of trying to, I can sort of see what you're going for, but I'm still on the journey with it, I think. Shoulder not do that.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  Dream side dish.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Okay, dream side dish. So I don't know if this actually counts as a side dish, but I, I've had them both here and, and in, in Paris is you can get in the season, really fresh strawberries, like the small ones.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 59:15Speaker 02

  We don't really have those in America. We have like, American strawberries are like white inside and have no flavor.

• 59:22Speaker 00

  Huge, but massive as well, right?

• 59:24Speaker 02

  Massive, massive. And the, in the season, seasonal strawberries, the summer strawberries, I've had them both here and in Paris, they're just like, they're amazing. They're the tiny little red ones. I would love that as a side dish.

• 59:36Speaker 00

  And they taste like strawberry jam, basically.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. They're so good. They're just like, it's like a, you could, I feel like I eat the stem even, you know? It's just like, I'm just shoveling them in my. Just throwing them in my mouth.

• 59:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:54Speaker 02

  I'm not even, I didn't even try that. I didn't, that was just like a throwing them in my mouth. Just go on now.

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  Don't do it, internet.

• 1:00:11Speaker 00

  I can't wait for the supercut we make in this episode.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  That'll be great.

• 1:00:13Speaker 00

  Just that.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  That'll be so fun.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you don't even need anything on them. Just those strawberries.

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  No, yeah.

• 1:00:20Speaker 00

  I love it as a side dish for the cacho pepe as well. Are you gonna be going back and forth between the two, do you think?

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  A real problem with me is that I eat like a maniac, like I'm like a Hoover. Like I just, I'm like, you could set a dish in front of me and by the time, if you turned around, by the time you turned back around, it would be gone.

• 1:00:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  I'm, yeah, I'm not a really, oh, a bite and a bite and a little drink. That's not happening. I am, I am gobbling it down at a velocity that is alarming.

• 1:00:53Speaker 00

  Yeah. I really, something that really makes me laugh is someone doing like an offensive impression of something that's so normal. So just being like, a bite and a bite, oh, a little drink.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  It's hard.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Wave hi.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  We've got to make our things seem normal.

• 1:01:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, look, I'm a, you know, I'm a guzzler and a gulper.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:14Speaker 00

  I'm the same.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:15Speaker 00

  Especially with drinks, I'm gulping.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. Somebody, if someone doesn't like a musician and they go, oh, that person is just like,

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  that's not how they sound.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. Even better, that would be annoying. I agree, that would be annoying.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  That's the worst song I've ever heard. Yeah, sure. That's not what it sounds like.

• 1:01:34Speaker 00

  Oh, hello, my name, that's always an impression, offensive impression of someone as well. It always starts with hello, my name is.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, straight into that.

• 1:01:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah, I, but I do like your impression of someone.

• 1:01:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  Eating normally.

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  A little bit of this. A little drink.

• 1:01:52Speaker 00

  It's good.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  I eat so quickly and people comment on it who. Have just met me.

• 1:01:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  So that's like, that's always bad. You ate that fast and you have to be like.

• 1:02:02Speaker 02

  I did, yeah, sorry.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Know.

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wasn't.

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  Realize.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  It's just a thing, you don't even.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  Going in bullet time for me, I didn't know.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Like, I guess I have to redo this day. I'll eat slower.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  Maybe I'll get it right next time. I, but I, yeah, I'm, I eat too fast to, to, and really even enjoy a meal. I just, just.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  Inhaling it.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, just inhaling and, uh, yeah.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  People always say to me is that, oh, is that because your family, you had, it's not.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  It's not a fact. Yeah, there's so many people are like, we are so many brothers and sisters. We had to get there first and.

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  Which is not a story I even believe. Like, I don't, I don't believe that there's like some free for all for dinner.

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  That there's like eight kids and everyone's, the mom's just like, have at it.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  You know, like I, and there's like some like.

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  Swarm all over and then there's nothing left.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  It's not dogs, you know, like, you're like, everyone had like a, like, I'm sure that if you, if an older sibling took all the chicken.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  The mom would be like, don't do that.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  What about your, what about your siblings?

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  This is for everybody.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  Get back of the line, you know, like it, I don't, I just, I don't believe the story. I don't know.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. Even your brother like had half sherbet and gave your other brother the vanilla.

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, he wasn't gonna eat the whole thing.

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  He was just gonna eat the parts he liked.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. But I guess there's like, with everything, there's like the nice bits that some people like and the bad bits that some people don't like. So if there's like a race for like the best bit of chicken or whatever. Yeah. But, but usually it's portioned out to everyone. Sure.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  People aren't really just going, there you go. Hmm. Going nuts. Well, I think there must be families like that, yeah. They just put the, the main pot in the middle of the table. They just put a whole chicken in the middle of the table.

• 1:03:42Speaker 02

  A real, like a, a, a.

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  Maybe.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  Like a Christmas Carol goose, like just right in the middle and everyone's like, have at it.

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're just grabbing off chunks of goose.

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, no one's even cutting it. No one's serving it. It's just, go eat. I've done enough.

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is where I think, yeah, I might be like too privileged here. Maybe I don't know this. Hmm. That they just put a big pot of goose in the front of everyone and everyone just goes for it.

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, and if you get there last.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  You get there last.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  You get the beak.

• 1:04:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, you don't, and there's nothing else for you.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  And you think, oh, man.

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  And your siblings don't care enough about you.

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  Do that.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  I should not be so slow to get that goose.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  I should have got the beak.

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  Your dream drink.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  Okay, I love a glass of champagne, but in the little coupe.

• 1:04:43Speaker 02

  Not the, I'm making it a bowl, but it's, you know, the glass that's like.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, the wide, wide but shallow glass.

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  Supposedly based on the shape of Marie Antoinette's breast.

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:04:56Speaker 00

  That one.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  You've said this about every glass on the podcast.

• 1:05:00Speaker 00

  Well, I've never met the lady, so you, you know, you're never sure what shape her boobs are.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  Every time Ed's got a glass, he goes, whose titty does this remind you of?

• 1:05:10Speaker 01

  Going around the party.

• 1:05:10Speaker 02

  I'll give you one glass, everyone guess.

• 1:05:12Speaker 00

  One guess.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  That's okay.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  That a pun? Was that another pun?

• 1:05:17Speaker 00

  It's as good as I should not do that.

• 1:05:19Speaker 02

  I feel like you guys, you're just trying to, no, that's a better one.

• 1:05:22Speaker 00

  Come on, sign it off.

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  You're getting there, you're getting there.

• 1:05:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't, I don't, I've never said this before, apart from I've mentioned this glass, but there's not, you know.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  You've mentioned Marie Antoinette's breast before on this podcast.

• 1:05:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, but not in the context of the glasses.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  It was for a different glass.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  Well, what context was it?

• 1:05:35Speaker 00

  Just that they, they seem nice.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  It was his dream main course.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  She was like 14.

• 1:05:40Speaker 00

  No, apparently that's the glass, it's always the glass thing, but apparently this is, this is what it is.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  Was she really young?

• 1:05:46Speaker 02

  Well, when they got married, I think she died at like 21 or 22.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  So when did they do the glass painting of the breast?

• 1:05:52Speaker 00

  I don't think.

• 1:05:52Speaker 02

  It was a different time.

• 1:05:53Speaker 00

  I don't think they mold, I don't think they molded one on her, as far as I know.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  Well, I would hope not, it would be molten.

• 1:06:00Speaker 00

  It'd be horrible.

• 1:06:00Speaker 02

  It would be very hot.

• 1:06:03Speaker 00

  I think it was more like whoever, whatever perv made the glass was like.

• 1:06:07Speaker 01

  Still.

• 1:06:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:08Speaker 02

  Or maybe she was like, she was like, make me a glass.

• 1:06:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  That reminds you of my breasts.

• 1:06:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 02

  And then.

• 1:06:14Speaker 00

  It was like the olden days Pammy bottle. You remember the Pammy bottle?

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember the Pammy bottle, of course.

• 1:06:20Speaker 00

  Virgin Cola released a bottle of Virgin Cola that was in the shape of Pamela Anderson. That's what they said, called the Pam, called the Pammy bottle.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  And it was only virgins who liked it.

• 1:06:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  It was very appropriate, we loved them as kids going around in primary school. That's that Pamela Anderson's body, what do you love to kiss on the lips?

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  Prophetic.

• 1:06:45Speaker 01

  Ed, obviously the only one going, well, what about Mary Antoinette?

• 1:06:48Speaker 00

  Please, I could pour this into a Mary Antoinette glass.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:51Speaker 00

  What a threesome.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  I'm having a naughty evening, Ed. Pouring my virgin cola from my Pammy bottle into my Mary Antoinette breast, breast glass.

• 1:07:02Speaker 02

  Oh, look, it's Pam and Ed and Mary.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  And I sort of dinner party.

• 1:07:09Speaker 00

  All of my friends have walked off. It's just me alone in the playground saying this.

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  Don't go anywhere near him.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  He's having a dinner party.

• 1:07:20Speaker 01

  But you would like champagne in this shallow, wide glass.

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  I love, I love champagne in, in one of those glasses. It makes me feel, I don't know, fancy. Yeah.

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  And like, what kind of champagne? Do you have a favorite kind?

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  Um, I, there's a rosé champagne that I had and I don't know the brand of it. But it was, I really liked it. It was at the, it was at a Four Seasons in Austin, Texas. They had a rosé champagne. It was very good.

• 1:07:48Speaker 00

  I love a rosé champagne.

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:49Speaker 00

  I'm not sure I can tell the difference taste wise between rosé champagne and other champagne.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  I felt like maybe it was a little sweeter, but I don't know.

• 1:07:57Speaker 00

  It's good. It feels more celebratory, I think, as well. Yeah. A bit of pink fizz.

• 1:08:01Speaker 01

  Have you ever, what, what's been like the best occasion you've had champagne at? The biggest celebration?

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  The biggest celebration, um, I can't remember a single place I've been to. Um.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  And the thing you've celebrated ever?

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  I can't remember a single thing. My friend had a, uh, um, I guess it must have been like her 48th birthday party in her friend, in, in, in a friend's backyard. And, uh, but then they had these little champagne glasses like that. And, and, uh, that was, that was a fun celebratory thing. I, I taped a special once and I asked for champagne after to celebrate. And they brought me the champagne that in America you can buy at like the 7-Eleven. And I was like, cause you know, you put something on your rider.

• 1:08:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  Champagne, but you didn't like specify like the brand and they, I mean, it must be like a eight dollar bottle of champagne. Like it was just, I was like, what? I gotta be more specific, I guess.

• 1:09:01Speaker 00

  Especially if you're like.

• 1:09:02Speaker 02

  Shoulder not done that.

• 1:09:05Speaker 00

  You're not normally putting this on your rider, right? So you're like, oh, it's gonna be a treat cause it's a big night. So I feel, you know, it's not my normal sort of thing.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  Everyone knows I'm shooting a special.

• 1:09:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:13Speaker 02

  It's not like it was a surprise. Like there's a whole crew there.

• 1:09:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  You know, and you think someone would be like, we gotta, I think they just forgot. And then they like got it on the way or something.

• 1:09:23Speaker 00

  Or the special costs so much money.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were like, we don't have anything left. Here's eight, here's eight dollars.

• 1:09:29Speaker 00

  She wants to marry on tonight, take glasses. We're not getting those either. Come on.

• 1:09:33Speaker 01

  Surely those are the kind of bottles of champagne they smash off in ships.

• 1:09:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  Just the cheap ones, seven eleven ones.

• 1:09:39Speaker 02

  I would hope so.

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  Smash that off of a ship.

• 1:09:41Speaker 00

  No, cause when I imagine that, I imagine like the golden age, right? Where everything's fancy and everyone's excited. I think they're smashing fancy champagne off those ships.

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  I feel like ship people.

• 1:09:50Speaker 00

  Cause it's good luck though, isn't it as well?

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  I feel like ship people waste.

• 1:09:54Speaker 00

  Ship people waste.

• 1:09:54Speaker 02

  You have a ship.

• 1:09:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  You'd probably be like, yeah, I also have a couple of the fancy bottles.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  So they show off.

• 1:10:00Speaker 02

  I'm really trying to think of other, other things I've celebrated.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  There's a thing about having kids is that with the first one, I, I was like, oh, my memory's worse. And now with the second one, I'm like, I don't remember anything. Like I couldn't, I, I couldn't tell you what I did yesterday. But then, but then on the way here, I was thinking about, I, I was thinking about something and my mind got to diabetes. And then I remembered this girl I went to school with, elementary school with. And that she had diabetes. And I was like, I wonder what she's doing now. And I remembered her full name. First and last name, and I can picture her.

• 1:10:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:41Speaker 02

  But I can't.

• 1:10:42Speaker 00

  Completely useless to you now.

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  I literally thought, I was like, why is this what I can remember?

• 1:10:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  And I'm, I'm searching for a thing I've celebrated.

• 1:10:50Speaker 00

  You did the correspondence dinner, didn't you?

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  Yes, but I didn't have champagne then. I had, I had tequila that night.

• 1:10:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  This is the first person we've had on the podcast who's done the correspondence dinner? I think so.

• 1:11:02Speaker 00

  Did Todd Barry do?

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  I would love to see Todd Barry do the correspondence dinner. I think that would be very, very great.

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  Of course, wouldn't offend either side because he sits in the middle.

• 1:11:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:16Speaker 00

  Sign off.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  By me, James A.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  Tough gig?

• 1:11:21Speaker 02

  Um.

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  Or just a lot of pressure leading up to it?

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I think it was, the room stinks. It's not like, uh, it's also like this big ballroom. Like, it's not made for comedy and no one there really wants to laugh and everyone's looking at each other to see if they can laugh. And it's really, and you're insulting the people in the room. And especially with the people who are in the room when I was doing it, they're not like people that were like, I love a roast.

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  Let's all have a good time. Yeah, like, like I started telling my jokes and Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked like, I mean, it looked like she thought I was gonna give like a bridesmaid toast. And instead I started to be like, look at this bitch, you know?

• 1:12:00Speaker 02

  So I, yeah, it, she, um, it was unsavory, but my friend also texted me right before I went on and, and he was like, you know, if they're not laughing, you're doing well.

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:11Speaker 02

  So as, as soon as I started, then they were just kind of silent. I was like, we're doing great.

• 1:12:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's not for the people in the room.

• 1:12:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:18Speaker 00

  It's for everyone else watching it afterwards. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  It seems like in America, there's much more of a reverence or like a lot of respect for stuff like that. Over here in the UK, if there was a gig that is routinely impossible and really hard, we'd all be avoiding it. And if like, if someone did it, it was, it was well paid or whatever, but they don't want anyone to see it or to know about it. In the US, you have that and like SNL when they're literally going live and like they could bomb on live television. And all these things are like held in way, way higher esteem than, uh, but in a way that's like quite, uh, encouraging as a comic. Cause obviously it's part of being a comedian is having these gigs that are really hard and it doesn't have to go brilliantly every time or in the room.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  And it's cool to watch on TV. Like, why do you think that is in America that you can kind of like have those kind of things become part of like such a, the foundations of like being a comic and, uh, in other countries? That might just be, it wouldn't take off as much, I don't know.

• 1:13:20Speaker 02

  I think there's something about like the ego of Americans that like every, every comic thinks, I'm gonna be the one.

• 1:13:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:26Speaker 02

  I'm gonna be the one to, to nail it, you know, like that we're, we're all kind of like, uh, you know, it was hard for everyone else, but for me, this is, I'm the one.

• 1:13:38Speaker 00

  Or the thought that, well, they're not laughing, but I know that I'm doing great.

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:42Speaker 00

  I think is.

• 1:13:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:44Speaker 00

  Like, I wouldn't be able to do that.

• 1:13:45Speaker 01

  Like, I would crumble so fast. It would be so bad.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  I think the way I was thinking of it was that like, I was like, oh, I'm, I wanna make these people mad.

• 1:13:57Speaker 00

  Yes, these specific people.

• 1:13:59Speaker 02

  And so that for me, but like, you know, when people host like any of the award shows or anything like that, it just feels like unless you're going with a specific, I wanna make these people mad. I feel like everyone's like, it was okay, or it was, you know, I don't know.

• 1:14:15Speaker 00

  Well, I've, I've had a couple of those things where whoever's booked me for it, or my agent will say, it'll be really hard, but it's a good opportunity. I'm like, no, those two, those two things don't exist together for me.

• 1:14:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:26Speaker 00

  Then that is a bad opportunity. Cause I, I want to just make people laugh and have a nice time. That's my main opportunity.

• 1:14:32Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:14:33Speaker 02

  I think there's something about, I do, I think it's us being like, oh, it's really hard.

• 1:14:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  All right, I'll crack the code.

• 1:14:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is me.

• 1:14:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And we're just very, I don't know.

• 1:14:43Speaker 01

  Also like in America, it'll be talked about, like, like over here, those tough gigs, they don't really get discussed, especially not in public or like on, but if you do the correspondence dinner, that's gonna be like talked about by loads of comics and all that, and it is like a badge of honor. It's, it's something that's like seen as being like, quite a, well, it's, it's a very impressive thing to have, to have got to do, which we don't have the equivalent of that here, I guess. There's no like, we need to roast the prime minister here.

• 1:15:12Speaker 02

  It'd be fun.

• 1:15:13Speaker 01

  It'd be nice, especially this current one, if you're watching.

• 1:15:17Speaker 00

  He ain't watching, man.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  No, he didn't even listen.

• 1:15:22Speaker 00

  Oh no, he's listening. He just hasn't made the jump over to the YouTube episodes yet.

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, listen to the people.

• 1:15:27Speaker 00

  Oh, this is good.

• 1:15:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was trying to make a pun out of his name.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:33Speaker 02

  And I just really think it's gonna work.

• 1:15:35Speaker 01

  Kier Schilder? You gonna call him Kier Schilder?

• 1:15:39Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, don't get me Kier started.

• 1:15:43Speaker 00

  That's as good as the Schilder.

• 1:15:46Speaker 02

  But as I was, this is me improving though. As I was thinking of it, I was like, it's not gonna.

• 1:15:51Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the next time, Michelle, you come up with one of those, you won't even say it out loud or.

• 1:15:55Speaker 01

  We'll see it in your eyes.

• 1:15:56Speaker 00

  This is the, we're going round on this day again. We've groundhoged it. Next time you come up with a joke, you're just gonna keep quiet about it.

• 1:16:03Speaker 02

  It's not a, it's not a, it's not even wordplay. It's actually just, you're just shoehorning in something that doesn't work.

• 1:16:11Speaker 00

  Don't get me starved it.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  Don't get me starved it.

• 1:16:19Speaker 02

  It works when you say it.

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I felt like it worked.

• 1:16:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, it did work.

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  Drink dessert.

• 1:16:28Speaker 02

  Really, really went around on this because I'm a sweets person. I love a sweet treat. And I feel like this is gonna sound like I'm,

• 1:16:36Speaker 02

  like, what's it called when you're, I don't know, like trying to placate an audience or something because I'm here in England?

• 1:16:43Speaker 01

  Pandering.

• 1:16:43Speaker 02

  Pandering. Thank you. I promise this isn't pandering. This is actually, my favorite dessert is sticky toffee pudding.

• 1:16:50Speaker 01

  We got you.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  Well, hey, that place that I mentioned earlier.

• 1:16:54Speaker 02

  Yes. Perilla?

• 1:16:56Speaker 01

  Perilla.

• 1:16:59Speaker 00

  Went to check with me what the restaurant was called, but luckily you remembered. That's good. You remembered that.

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:05Speaker 00

  So you don't remember what you did yesterday, but you remember what he ate two weeks ago.

• 1:17:08Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 1:17:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's so useful for me.

• 1:17:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. The whole meal was like, it's one of the best meals I've had in ages. So good. Start with those little bread bites. Dessert was sticky toffee pudding. Uh, it was a set, set menu. And I know, that's all I'd seen was it's, I didn't read the whole description of it. And as they're getting it ready, I see that they're grating black truffle over it. And I'm like, oh no. Cause I thought, you know, black truffle's fine, but I don't, I don't want it on my sticky toffee pudding.

• 1:17:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:17:37Speaker 01

  All this.

• 1:17:38Speaker 00

  This, how much this guy's changed over the?

• 1:17:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, I've changed a lot. Before this podcast, I'd never had black truffle before, anything like that. I'd start going to fancy places to eat. Think black truffle's amazing. Then I'll start being like, oh, would these restaurants stop putting black truffle on everything?

• 1:17:54Speaker 02

  It's always black truffle.

• 1:17:56Speaker 00

  That's his observational material now.

• 1:17:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:58Speaker 00

  So now I'm. Anyone else fed up of black truffle? Hello?

• 1:18:02Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 1:18:03Speaker 02

  More like black trouble. That sounds racist. Now that sounds very racist.

• 1:18:07Speaker 00

  Don't sign that one off, Michelle.

• 1:18:08Speaker 02

  Don't do that.

• 1:18:10Speaker 00

  Don't sign that off.

• 1:18:11Speaker 02

  In my head, I was like, you got it this time. As soon as I said it, I was like, very racist.

• 1:18:17Speaker 00

  The words.

• 1:18:18Speaker 02

  White people in a room talking about black truffle.

• 1:18:20Speaker 00

  The words, we're not talking about it. Don't bring us in on that joke.

• 1:18:25Speaker 01

  Not us.

• 1:18:27Speaker 00

  The wordplay was stronger, but the intent sounded way worse.

• 1:18:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, way worse.

• 1:18:31Speaker 00

  But you've not signed it off, so you're fine. You're all right.

• 1:18:33Speaker 02

  By me, Michelle Wolf.

• 1:18:35Speaker 00

  No, no.

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  The tour is cancelled.

• 1:18:41Speaker 02

  So turns out I need a new job.

• 1:18:46Speaker 01

  Anyway, it was delicious.

• 1:18:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:18:48Speaker 01

  It had black truffle ice cream. The sticky toffee pudding was a very like dark, rich sticky toffee.

• 1:18:55Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:18:55Speaker 01

  And I fully expected I wasn't gonna like it. It's one of the best desserts I've had in ages. The whole meal was phenomenal. I think you should go there, Michelle Wolf, because the things that you're shouting out sound exactly like this great meal I just had.

• 1:19:07Speaker 02

  Well, I'm, well, maybe it sounds great. Is it, it's here in London?

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  Yes, here in London, Stone Newton.

• 1:19:13Speaker 00

  I'm still laughing at your last wordplay, sorry.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:19:16Speaker 02

  It's really offensive.

• 1:19:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, in this climate.

• 1:19:21Speaker 00

  It was how quickly you said that sounds racist after you said it as well.

• 1:19:25Speaker 02

  And thankfully, because it's gonna be harder to clip.

• 1:19:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:28Speaker 02

  You know, like, maybe you cut something off there.

• 1:19:31Speaker 00

  We won't clip it up.

• 1:19:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, harder, harder, harder, harder to cut off the, whoa, no, that's racist.

• 1:19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. The whole thing will go in the edit, but like, you can't snip it down to make you look worse.

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:19:45Speaker 01

  You know?

• 1:19:46Speaker 02

  But you never know what the internet can do these days.

• 1:19:48Speaker 00

  These guys, what are they up to?

• 1:19:49Speaker 02

  I have a question about the black truffle ice cream. Was it savory?

• 1:19:53Speaker 01

  No, it just, it was sweet, but definitely tasted like black truffle. So I had a bit of it on its own.

• 1:19:59Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:19:59Speaker 01

  So I wanted to see, and that was a bit too much for me.

• 1:20:02Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:20:03Speaker 01

  But then I was like, come on, you're an adult. This is meant to be had all together. Let's not just put the ice cream to one side.

• 1:20:12Speaker 00

  That's how you realise you're an adult.

• 1:20:14Speaker 02

  Let's not separate all our food so it's not touching.

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:17Speaker 00

  If you're a grown up now, eat the black truffle with the ice cream.

• 1:20:21Speaker 01

  Don't just have a bit of the black truffle ice cream and write it off.

• 1:20:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:23Speaker 01

  You've got to have it all as intended. And then it was like, just really sweet, but with this like. I guess there was like an umami flavour in there when it all combined together. And I didn't know that word before I started this podcast either.

• 1:20:36Speaker 02

  I've heard it a lot. I don't really know what it means.

• 1:20:38Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 1:20:39Speaker 00

  It's the fifth flavour.

• 1:20:40Speaker 01

  It's the fifth flavour, yeah.

• 1:20:41Speaker 02

  But it's not, it feels like more, it's like a feeling.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  I think I use it to describe flavours that I can't describe.

• 1:20:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:48Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that's umami.

• 1:20:50Speaker 01

  So it's got horse. Some umami flavour there. It's a bit salty and sweet at the same time, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

• 1:20:58Speaker 02

  It's actually licorice.

• 1:20:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:01Speaker 00

  Cause they sell it in paste as well, umami paste.

• 1:21:04Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:21:05Speaker 00

  You're like, you feel like you're being ripped off somehow. It's just invented, yeah.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Does there a particular sticky toffee pudding you would like?

• 1:21:11Speaker 02

  Um, I did like the one from Gordon Ramsay's. That's the one I had here that I really liked.

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  But would you, would you wanna hang out with Gordon Ramsay?

• 1:21:20Speaker 02

  I would actually.

• 1:21:21Speaker 01

  You would?

• 1:21:21Speaker 02

  I would. I wanna, um, I like how intense he is. And I, I'd be interested to think, see if he thought I was an idiot or, okay.

• 1:21:32Speaker 01

  What, what, what way are you leaning towards?

• 1:21:36Speaker 02

  If I, I feel like I could talk to him about running.

• 1:21:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:39Speaker 02

  And maybe, yeah, maybe he would think that I'm, uh, I'm not an idiot.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  He would like that.

• 1:21:44Speaker 00

  I love all that, when he's clearly, when he runs to the kitchen.

• 1:21:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:47Speaker 00

  In his shows and then he's like getting, he's getting changed in the kitchen while talking to the camera. And I wish I had that level of self-confidence.

• 1:21:55Speaker 01

  Well, I'm gonna reach a menu back to you now, see how you feel about it.

• 1:21:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:21:58Speaker 01

  Uh, you would like a carafe of sparkling water with ice and lemon from Saga Coffee in Barcelona.

• 1:22:04Speaker 02

  Correct.

• 1:22:05Speaker 01

  You would like focaccia with sauce on it and an aeroplane pretzel roll. You would like spinach dry miso salad from Nobu. You would like cachia pepe as a main course. Side dish, you would like fresh seasonal straw, seasonal?

• 1:22:19Speaker 00

  Seasonal.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  Seasonal strawberries. Drink, you would like a glass of rosé champagne in a coupe.

• 1:22:25Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:22:25Speaker 01

  And dessert, a sticky toffee pudding from Gordon Ramsay's.

• 1:22:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  How do you feel about that menu?

• 1:22:30Speaker 02

  Um, I don't know if it actually all goes together, but I'd be incredibly happy after that meal.

• 1:22:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:38Speaker 02

  I would be, that would, sounds great.

• 1:22:40Speaker 01

  I think it's very nice.

• 1:22:41Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:22:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:42Speaker 01

  I would, I would eat all that.

• 1:22:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:44Speaker 00

  Which one, which one did you have, which of his places?

• 1:22:47Speaker 02

  The one on, um, uh, Grobner Square. I can't remember what it's called, but I remember.

• 1:22:52Speaker 00

  The sticky toffee pudding.

• 1:22:53Speaker 02

  Fourth grade, the girl who had diabetes, her whole name.

• 1:22:58Speaker 02

  Cannot remember the name of the Gordon Ramsay restaurant.

• 1:23:01Speaker 00

  Gordon Ramsay's Bar and Grill.

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  There we go.

• 1:23:03Speaker 00

  Thank you for coming to the dream restaurant.

• 1:23:04Speaker 02

  I remember one time she had to get a, she had low blood sugar and had to have a Coke in the middle of class.

• 1:23:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:09Speaker 02

  And we were all like.

• 1:23:11Speaker 01

  Amazing, yeah.

• 1:23:12Speaker 02

  Diabetes sounds great.

• 1:23:16Speaker 00

  Correct. Correct, it is great. Thanks, Michelle.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  Thank you, Michelle.

• 1:23:26Speaker 00

  Well, there we are, James.

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  There we are. What a brilliant menu. And Michelle Wolf didn't say Wolf Cola, so we didn't kick about the dream restaurant. And we can promote the best job in the world.

• 1:23:36Speaker 00

  Best job in the world. Touring across England in June and July. Punchup.live/michellewolf for tickets.

• 1:23:43Speaker 01

  And you're on tour with Fresh Hell, of course.

• 1:23:45Speaker 00

  Yes, that's in 2027, January 2027. That starts at gamble.co.uk for tickets.

• 1:23:52Speaker 01

  What a lovely chat with Michelle. What a lovely food podcast.

• 1:23:56Speaker 00

  What a great podcast.

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  What a great little food podcast, Ben. You did another great job. Well done, Ben. Benito there.

• 1:24:05Speaker 01

  Not much to say, really. It's weird that, like, when we're being filmed now for these intros and outros, the pressure.

• 1:24:10Speaker 00

  You feel like you had to add more.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  Pressure feels on and like, I'm pretty sure, you know, I've, I've, I've heard sometimes my partner will be listening to off-menu. And as soon as this bit starts, she turns it off and starts listening to something else. So I don't think a lot of people listen to the outros.

• 1:24:25Speaker 00

  The outros are always good, though, I think.

• 1:24:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think they're good, but she's in love with me and she's not listening to them. I mean, I'm, I'm imagining that the average listener is just going, okay, cool, chat's over.

• 1:24:34Speaker 00

  Sorry, but she's actually listening to the podcast, though. My wife ain't listening to the podcast.

• 1:24:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm aware of that.

• 1:24:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:39Speaker 01

  She's not even pressing play.

• 1:24:41Speaker 00

  Well, there we are. Another great outro done. Benito, can you put the edit thing of like a TV being turned off? Where it goes like, down to a small dot.

• 1:24:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:51Speaker 00

  I'd like that to be the end.

• 1:24:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, do it, do it like that. So it goes down to the small dot. And then do you want the dot to go?

• 1:24:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, and then the dot fades.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. That's like a TV being turned off. Yep. Like and subscribe.

• 1:25:03Speaker 00

  Oh, that's good. Did they say that?

• 1:25:04Speaker 01

  I think we've even told people that this is on YouTube. And this, he likes us to do that in the intros and outros.

• 1:25:09Speaker 00

  Sorry, this is on YouTube tomorrow.

• 1:25:11Speaker 01

  Too late now.

• 1:25:12Speaker 00

  Or now, if you're watching it on YouTube.

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  My girlfriend's turned this off ages ago. She doesn't know it's on YouTube.

• 1:25:16Speaker 00

  She's moved out.

• 1:25:17Speaker 01

  She's moved out.

• 1:25:19Speaker 00

  Bye!

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  Bye.