Ayoade Bamgboye

‘SNL UK’ cast member and Edinburgh Comedy Awards Best Newcomer winner Ayoade Bamgboye is this week’s dream diner. Let’s just hope there aren’t any faecal clouds in the Dream Restaurant. Ayoade Bamgboye is on tour with her show ‘Swings and Roundabouts’. For dates and tickets go to berksnest.com/ayoade https://www.berksnest.com/ayoade Ayoade stars in ‘Saturday Night Live UK’, Saturdays at 10pm on Sky One https://www.sky.com/watch/saturday-night-live-uk and streaming service NOW https://www.nowtv.com/ie/ie/online/saturday-night-live-uk/iYEQZ1vXy2NqAQUJt4jbM7. Follow Ayoade on Instagram @ayoadezahrah https://www.instagram.com/ayoadezahrah/ Watch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast on Thu 30 Apr. Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcast https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast Follow Off Menu on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/offmenuofficial and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@offmenuofficial: @offmenuofficial. And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk https://www.offmenupodcast.co.uk/ for a list of restaurants recommended on the show. Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster. Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Video production by Ben Williams and Megan McCarthy for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Artwork by Paul Gilbey https://www.instagram.com/pushgilbey/ (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, toasting the pitter breads of conversation, taking the knife of humour, punching a little hole of chat into the pitter bread and releasing the steam of bad vibes.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  That's a gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together, we own a dream restaurant. Every single week, we invite a guest. Us and her favourite ever start a main course, dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is Ayoade Bamgboye.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  Ayoade is a wonderful comedian, James. Won the Best Newcomer Award at the most recent Edinburgh Festival.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  That's a big deal, man. Everyone was talking about it. I wasn't at the Edinburgh Fringe this year.

• 0:50Speaker 00

  No, no, no.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  But I heard so much about Ayoade.

• 0:53Speaker 00

  Better vibe.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  Yes, okay. But I heard a lot about Ayoade's show from everyone.

• 0:58Speaker 00

  We felt free and light. We were all saying.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Some people were saying they felt free and light.

• 1:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, dragged down by the anchor that was James Acaster. Everyone was calling you the anchor.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's a good thing, anchor. Keep everyone.

• 1:12Speaker 00

  Not if you want to swim.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  But everyone was saying that Ayoade's show was absolutely brilliant. So like, I'm very excited. We've only met once.

• 1:21Speaker 00

  I've only met Ayoade once, and it's one of the funniest conversations I've ever had. So I'm looking forward to this episode.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, what happened?

• 1:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think I got on her nerves quite quickly. So I think it's going to be a really nice, nice to and fro.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  Great. That's good. That's good to know. I think I got on her nerves as well.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. So this will be fun.

• 1:39Speaker 00

  It's gonna be fun.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Double trouble.

• 1:41Speaker 00

  Benito, have you met her before? Yes. Did you get on her nerves? God, you're here then.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  I find that hard to believe.

• 1:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Ayoade's going on tour.

• 1:51Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  With her show, Swings and Roundabouts.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  That is the award-winning show.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  So absolutely. Right now, pause the podcast, I get tickets for it because it's gonna settle out by the end of this sentence.

• 2:00Speaker 00

  You've got to go.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  You've got to go. These are hotcakes.

• 2:05Speaker 00

  These are hotcakes. You've got to, James is not pointing at his own butt when he says that. He's talking about the tickets.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Just to be clear, if the listener could always assume I'm not pointing at my own butt, that'd be great.

• 2:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Although, even the stockpoker points at his own butt twice a day.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, one of those Mickey Mouse clocks.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, can't help it. Poor Mickey, he's got no, no choice in the matter sometimes.

• 2:31Speaker 00

  If Iowa says a secret ingredient

• 2:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:34Speaker 00

  That we have pre decided upon, she will be removed from the restaurant. We don't want to do that.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:38Speaker 00

  Talking to her, but she might be grateful for it if we start to get on her nerves again.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  And this week, the secret ingredient is

• 2:46Speaker 00

  Biscoff. Biscoff. Now, this is going to be a very controversial one. It was suggested to us by a member of the audience at one of our live Palladium shows.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:55Speaker 00

  And I don't think it went down very well on the night either. People love Biscoff, but what we do all agree on is it's insidious. It's everywhere.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Absolutely everywhere. The market is oversaturated with Biscoff.

• 3:07Speaker 00

  Yes, Biscoff in everything.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, Biscoff in absolutely everything.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Ice cream, Biscoff spread.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Brownies.

• 3:14Speaker 00

  Biscoff, Biscoff brownies, Biscoff sun cream.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  I wasn't even aware it was a biscuit for ages.

• 3:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, Lotus biscuits.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  The Lotus biscuits. People love them. But, you know, also, a lot of people have had enough of them and don't want, don't want Biscoff being in absolutely everything.

• 3:29Speaker 00

  It's the salted caramel problem. It's the truffle problem. It's the pulled pork problem.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I think it's fair enough, secret ingredient.

• 3:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  But because it's in everything, it's a bit of a risky one.

• 3:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  It could, you know.

• 3:41Speaker 00

  Could backfire.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  Could happen, could, could happen in the starter.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Who knows?

• 3:46Speaker 00

  What?

• 3:47Speaker 01

  You never know, man. It's in everything these days.

• 3:49Speaker 00

  Don't forget, this is out on YouTube tomorrow. If you're listening to this on the day it comes out, it will be available to watch in full on the YouTube tomorrow. And you can see all the times that James is definitely going to point at his own butt.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you're pretty constant.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  That's Mickey Mouse.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 4:06Speaker 00

  This is the off menu menu of Iowa day, bam boy.

• 4:17Speaker 00

  Welcome Iwana to the Dream Restaurant.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Welcome Iwana, bad boy, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  This is beautiful. Do that again.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Welcome Iwana, bad boy, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Oh, that's lovely.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  First time it's been requested, the second time?

• 4:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, first time ever. Someone's wanted him to do it again.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  I rarely spat that second time.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, because I wasn't expecting the volume.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Hmm, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  I sort of, because it was sort of that, there was a spectrum of volumes there that shocked me and excited me.

• 4:50Speaker 00

  I went in, I went in quite normal and then James really beefed it, didn't he?

• 4:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, also normal, I guess.

• 4:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, also normal for him, I suppose, yeah.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  That was sort of passive aggressive in a way that

• 4:59Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  I enjoyed as well.

• 5:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do passive aggression quite well, I think, yeah.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  I prefer aggression.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  That says a lot.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  That's actually just fights.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  How have you found Ed, like, before the podcast? How did you find him? Like, when you were chatting to him, was it nice?

• 5:16Speaker 02

  I found him warm.

• 5:18Speaker 00

  Oh, that's nice.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Yes, you smile with your eyes.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  Oh, good.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  Um, normally with Caucasian men, you know, it's a mixed bag.

• 5:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  You get people who, you know, you speak to them and it's like, I can't wait to never speak to you. Again.

• 5:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  But not with you.

• 5:36Speaker 00

  Oh, that's nice. That's lucky because we've got to speak now for quite a long time, I'd say.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  I can't wait.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Yeah. Imagine if you'd arrived and you'd gone, they're not smiling with their eyes.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 5:45Speaker 00

  And now I've got to speak to them on camera.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  I would have had to abscond immediately. I've come in and then I would have rushed out. Yes.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  You'd be the first guest who's absconded.

• 5:57Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  No one's ever absconded.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  We haven't had any absconders so far.

• 6:01Speaker 00

  No.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  That's a fantastic track record.

• 6:03Speaker 00

  We've had no shows, but we've not had absconders.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  No shows, as in you were waiting for them and they didn't?

• 6:09Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  But they didn't tell you that they weren't coming?

• 6:11Speaker 00

  No.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  That's not possible.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  No, they told us they weren't coming, but like very late, we've been here waiting.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 6:16Speaker 00

  And then they, and then they don't show up, which feels like a no show to me. Would you call that a no show?

• 6:20Speaker 02

  That's a no show. That, that is, I think that's an affront.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:24Speaker 00

  We've had a few affronters, but never an abscondor.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  I would never ever do that to somebody.

• 6:28Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Unless I hated them.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Do you wanna shout out a few people you hate before we start the podcast?

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Um, some of them are obviously a posthumous thing, but Henry Kissinger, I'm glad that you're dead. Is this this camera, this which one? This one?

• 6:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's the Kissinger cam.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Uh, Rory Stewart, I I hate everything that you stand for. Um, as well as that freakishly tall man you sit beside. Um, who else do I have in my in my thoughts? Joe Budden, I I I hate you.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  Budden not Biden.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Budden not Biden.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  Biden, I mean, you can't hate somebody who whose brain cells are. I mean, his brain is smooth.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  So there's nothing you can do about that. I'm censoring now, like.

• 7:18Speaker 00

  You're censoring now?

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:19Speaker 00

  The media training's kicked in now, has it?

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Yes, I I wanna let's talk about, uh. Food, you're you're a foodie?

• 7:27Speaker 02

  So I'm not a foodie.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Um, I can't pretend to to know the the ins and outs.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  I don't get bogged down in my niche, but I love to eat.

• 7:38Speaker 00

  I think that makes you a foodie.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Well, I did Google, when I found out that I was coming here, I Googled the definition of foodie.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  And I think there's some kind of like gastronomical.

• 7:49Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Knowledge.

• 7:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  That, you know, you go into the history, you go into like recipes, down to the sort of metric. Like forensic knowledge.

• 7:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  I don't have that. I mean, I I love a sausage bean and cheese melt.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Greg's inject that directly into my veins. I love, you know, those noodles, the carbonara ones, the Korean carbonara noodles.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, which the?

• 8:16Speaker 02

  It's pink.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Oh, no, I don't know.

• 8:18Speaker 00

  Oh, buldak noodles, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one with the the spicy ones that got the chicken on the front is like breathing fire.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  Exactly, but I love the pink one, which is like a spicy carbonara.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:28Speaker 02

  So there was this, there was a period that I ate that every day for about two months.

• 8:32Speaker 00

  Hmm. How was that gastricly for you?

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Ah, I've not recovered. I've not, if you're looking at me right now, my stomach is growling in a bad way. But I, that's the kind of thing I eat.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  So I'm, I'm, I'm flexible.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  But I think that those are things that a foodie would maybe bristle at.

• 8:51Speaker 00

  But you say you would consider yourself an eater rather than a foodie?

• 8:54Speaker 02

  This is it.

• 8:54Speaker 00

  You get joy from food, but you don't.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, the problem now is that eater has some connotations.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Really?

• 9:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, an eater is somebody who eats, eats the pussy.

• 9:08Speaker 00

  I don't know, I'm not up to date with all the terms.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, often on this podcast, this happens when Ed and I.

• 9:13Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Who are, he's thirty nine.

• 9:16Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  I'm forty one.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  At time of recording.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  This is, you guys look really great.

• 9:21Speaker 00

  Thank you so much.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  Thank you, but we are old men who don't know what people are talking about anymore.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Right.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  So we get told by our more, by our younger, more in touch, in tune guests, that what we've just said is we like to eat pussy.

• 9:35Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Yes, so if he's an eater.

• 9:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  He, you want an eater is what is basically what you want.

• 9:41Speaker 00

  Yes, back in our day, we'd just say legend.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Why would you say that?

• 9:48Speaker 00

  We'd say legend.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, we said that about everything though.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  It's not even specific.

• 9:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we knew, we knew back in the day.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  Everyone's a legend, you say.

• 9:57Speaker 00

  That guy's a legend, you'd be like, that guy is pussy.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  He eats, he eats a pussy.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Oh, wow, this is gonna be so much fun.

• 10:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think so, I think so.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  He eats, yes, I'm, I'm, I'm an eater, I guess.

• 10:08Speaker 00

  Yes, okay, yeah.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Congratulations.

• 10:10Speaker 02

  Yes, thank you.

• 10:11Speaker 00

  Um, swings and roundabouts.

• 10:13Speaker 02

  Swings and roundabouts.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  You, your new, new tour, so exciting.

• 10:16Speaker 02

  It's um, it's kind of crazy. I went to Edinburgh with this show and I just thought to myself, look, you put your best foot forward. Um, and I started writing it because I thought maybe I want to really give comedy a, like, I want to try. And so I quit my job, I was working advertising as a strategist and I said, I'm gonna give it a year. And the year has actually gone considerably well.

• 10:43Speaker 00

  You've got, you've got to say it's gone well.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's gone considerably well. And a lot of like swings and roundabouts, like inspired by my, like pain and my, I find it very difficult to, to exist.

• 10:55Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  And, but it would not be prudent to, to exit permanently.

• 11:00Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  Um, so I I write to keep myself here. And things I write about is basically like all of those things in one place. And people, people have been so gracious and kind.

• 11:15Speaker 00

  How long's it been now since you quit your job?

• 11:17Speaker 02

  A year and a half.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  So you're going back to work soon?

• 11:22Speaker 02

  I was applying for a job.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  I was applying because because there's something, you know, with comedy, it's like you can't write, I don't know if you guys have this, but like. Uh, nothing comes from nothing. You know, like, I feel like even with things around about, a lot of it came from just like being in the office.

• 11:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Um, and listening to those like, you know, this like, uh. Uh, English idioms and turns of phrase that just like sort of move the day along.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  And it really, it was so, so useful for me to soak that up in in situ. And I I think doing comedy like full time, I'm like, what am I looking at?

• 11:55Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Where, where does this, where is it gonna come from?

• 11:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Like, I need a lady called Helen.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Emailing me, talking about, it's just, we we're circling back, like, what are you talking about, lady? But it it just, it gives you that, like, the stim.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know, I know what you mean. You need to be in contact with the world outside of comedy to to get that inspiration.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  Yes, exactly. I applied to a job at, uh, Waterstones. I was unfortunately, they didn't get. I didn't even get to interview stage.

• 12:27Speaker 00

  Really?

• 12:27Speaker 02

  And I told them that I won the prize at Edinburgh, um, but I don't think it cut through.

• 12:33Speaker 00

  I don't think that's necessarily what they're looking for at Waterstones.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  I, but it's somebody, you know, somebody who is affable, somebody who is, you know, trying to attest it on stage.

• 12:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  I think it would be useful.

• 12:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  For sales, but it didn't.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  But they're not with books. I don't think they're looking for like, it's not like, they don't need, when I go into Waterstones. No one's coming up to me and going, so what sort of thing are you looking for? You look like, like, there's no banter in Waterstones, is there?

• 12:57Speaker 02

  I would bring, I'd bring that.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I don't think they want that, clearly.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  I was telling them, you want it. But they said, no, we.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, if James walked into Waterstones and you'd got the job.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 13:08Speaker 00

  Are you, how are you selling a book to James? Are you going straight up to him and?

• 13:11Speaker 02

  That's tough, because I would, I would, I would have to, I think I would say, you know what, I know you're James Acaster.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Oh, right, okay, great.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  So I would take him to the catering section.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  I say, James, I know your background.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  One of my best friends, Katie Mulligan, she's from Kettering.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  That's exciting.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, Katie and Amanda, they're from Kettering.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:34Speaker 02

  So I'll take you to Kettering section and I'll show you A to Z.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  All the Kettering books?

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's great. I'd love to buy a book about Kevin.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  Is there a Kettering section in there?

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:46Speaker 00

  You may.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, a hundred percent.

• 13:48Speaker 00

  As soon as he arrives, you may.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  It would be, it would be made already. But just in case, in the, in the, in the.

• 13:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  In case of incisities.

• 13:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  And you'd be surprised because you're like, I didn't know there was a Kettering section here.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  That's good impression of it.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  I just tried to emphasize.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  It's good.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  I enjoyed that.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I'd really appreciate that.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  If I went into Waterstones. I think they should, they should have given you, that's Waterstones lost, they didn't give you that job.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  I think so too.

• 14:14Speaker 00

  Oh, it is, absolutely.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Although I don't have any Kettering facts, I should ask Katie about that.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  What's a ran, a very, very random thing about Kettering that people should know?

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Edmund Hillary's boots that he wore at Peverist, first man of Peverist were made in Kevin.

• 14:29Speaker 00

  That's pretty good. I thought you were gonna say they're still in Kettering or they're in a museum or something.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  But did he survive the?

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, first, first, first person at Peverist.

• 14:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, but first person down as well.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, so he did some, he didn't get stuff up there.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  I wonder why they've made that?

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Well, there used to be a lot, lot of shoe manufacturers around.

• 14:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Northamptonshire. Kinky Boots obviously was set in Northampton.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  And yeah, set in there.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  That's very good.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Do you like shoes?

• 14:58Speaker 01

  Not as much as I should, given my.

• 14:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Given your background, yeah.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  I, I should, I should love them more.

• 15:03Speaker 00

  More into the history of where you're from.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, by the time I was born, uh, you know, fatchered absolutely, uh, gutted. All of Northamptonshire and all the like, all the industry kind of gone, so like.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  That's insane. Imagine what shoes would have come out of Kettering.

• 15:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  If things didn't pan out the way they did.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  They would have made Louboutins up there.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

• 15:26Speaker 00

  Nike could have started in Kettering.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Exactly. Exactly.

• 15:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  We'll start with still a sparkling water. Do you have a preference?

• 15:37Speaker 02

  I have to be still because of my stomach issues.

• 15:41Speaker 00

  This is post-Bullock?

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Post-Bullock, yeah, yeah, post-Bullock. Has to be still, just less, because I think the bubbles fill me up a little bit more.

• 15:49Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  So I just want to keep enough space.

• 15:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  So still water is okay, but from the bottle.

• 15:55Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  It has to be. Tap water is, it's not, it's not appropriate.

• 16:00Speaker 00

  Why? Why is it not appropriate?

• 16:03Speaker 02

  So I, um, I watched a parliamentary debate about the waterways.

• 16:06Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  The British waterways and what they're dumping in there.

• 16:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  I don't know any filter that could get

• 16:13Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  this stuff out of my water.

• 16:16Speaker 00

  What, what sort of stuff they're putting in there?

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Sewage.

• 16:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  Poopoo. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. We can't risk it, boys.

• 16:25Speaker 00

  No.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  We can't.

• 16:27Speaker 00

  I do, I do risk it.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  All the time.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  You can't.

• 16:30Speaker 00

  But I don't know whether that's just, I'm thinking, guy, just, you deserve to drink shit.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  We need to unpack that.

• 16:38Speaker 00

  No, but like, everyone else, if other people are drinking it, who am I, who am I to say?

• 16:43Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  Oh, I'm Ed Gamble, I don't drink shit.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:46Speaker 00

  Come on.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  But you guys are, you guys are more, you guys are every, I love this, you, you're approachable.

• 16:51Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  You have this sort of, you could be anybody off the streets.

• 16:55Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Meant as a compliment.

• 16:57Speaker 00

  We blend it.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, and you're so, you, you, you, there's a warmth to you, I mean, to you, but you have

• 17:06Speaker 02

  yours is more, I wouldn't say prickly.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  But I would say it's this.

• 17:15Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  Hmm, what's that? So for, for the listeners, you're

• 17:18Speaker 02

  This means, okay, because they can't see.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Oh, I forgot.

• 17:23Speaker 00

  Some people can see.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Some people can see.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  With the cameras there.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Okay, that's true. They can't, they, they actually can't see.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  That's true. James, James is more

• 17:34Speaker 01

  Take all the time you need.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Yes, I believe in a pregnant pause. James is more dry.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  Yes, he's dry.

• 17:45Speaker 00

  Sardonic.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Sardonic, that is the word.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Yes. But you go, but I I see why you're you're British treasures, both of you.

• 17:54Speaker 00

  That's the first time we've been called British treasures before.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Absolutely. I mean, a lot of people would would disagree. I mean, obviously, no one listens to this podcast. They'd all say we're definitely treasures. They listen deliberately.

• 18:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  But when we went on.

• 18:05Speaker 02

  I love whatever.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  When we went on Saturday Kitchen, everyone hated us.

• 18:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  That happened just before Christmas.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  What was the what was the sort of way?

• 18:13Speaker 01

  It was mainly Ed's behaviour.

• 18:15Speaker 00

  It wasn't. You you'll be amazed to hear it wasn't my behaviour at all.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  I'm so shocked.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  This shit drinker.

• 18:20Speaker 00

  They do a vote thing where the audience vote for which dish they want cooked. And we both brought in dishes that we wanted to be cooked for us. And James lost the vote and he reacted by smashing up the set. There was a model of a polar bear and he punched it in the face and he shook the Christmas tree around and he flipped the wreath off the table.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  And screamed at the top of his voice on live television.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:42Speaker 00

  And we thought it was really funny. And then I opened my Instagram and found out it wasn't funny at all.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  There are two hundred and thirty two complaints made to the BBC.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Saying I should never be allowed on BBC anymore.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  I think BBC, please forgive you. BBC, forgive James.

• 19:03Speaker 00

  I think the BBC loved it, actually.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  I hope so. I hope they're in my corner, the Bee, but I hope you haven't heard from them off the back of it. No.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  Oh, mate.

• 19:09Speaker 01

  The the I I think the, I mean, this is this could set people off again because I think the general, the understanding that the public had was that if that many complaints get made, the BBC have to do a formal investigation. That is what was going around in like some newspapers was like online newspapers.

• 19:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:26Speaker 01

  Were like that. So now there has to be a formal investigation. There's been as many complaints. And obviously, there wasn't one because the BBC aren't wasting their time and resources.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Their time, no.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Formally investigating what was clearly in the room, a joke.

• 19:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  And everyone was just having a laugh.

• 19:40Speaker 00

  Well, there's nothing to investigate. It's all there, isn't it?

• 19:42Speaker 01

  The polar bear was not a real polar bear. Doesn't matter that I punched it in the face.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  You would not punch a pu- real polar bear in the face.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Would never do it.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  So that, and I think that's enough. You heard it here first.

• 19:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  You would not hurt a polar bear.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Never, ever.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  Very simple.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  But Ed had wound people up as well, because he criticised Matt Tebbett and said that he hosted the show like a prison warden.

• 20:02Speaker 00

  Yes, I did say that Matt Tebbett, the host, hosted the show like a prison warden.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  Because you've been media trained recently, the listeners don't know this, but you've had media training.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:11Speaker 01

  So what would you say about a comment like that being made on live TV?

• 20:15Speaker 02

  Is, is, it's too, it's too aggressive.

• 20:18Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  Right? And likening somebody's behaviour to a prison warden is to say that they're sort of, kind of fascist.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Murderous.

• 20:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:28Speaker 02

  People.

• 20:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  And you can't do that.

• 20:30Speaker 00

  No. But I did it. And you know what? It made Matt Tebbett laugh. He loved it.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  How, how was the laugh? Was it, did it feel like a, was it a shoulder one or was it outward?

• 20:40Speaker 00

  It went on for a while, didn't it?

• 20:42Speaker 01

  He doesn't do his shoulders. He, he laughs like this, he goes.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  And he can cut his eye.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  No, but what's wrong with him? Is he okay?

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Not really.

• 20:50Speaker 00

  He's on live telly, he's dealing with a lot of stuff. And, you know, normally the guests are quite polite to him. I think they go, oh, that's a delicious pie or whatever.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:58Speaker 00

  So I'm firing, you know, you're a prison warden at him going, we're, we're sort of going, you're rubbish at this show. We're, we're throwing a lot of accusations his way.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Do this stuff.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  So he's stressed anyway. He's trying to cook while all this is going on. And then James smashes up the set at the end.

• 21:13Speaker 02

  Did you get billed?

• 21:15Speaker 01

  No, actually. Well, not that I know of. I think Benito was billed.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Benito, I feel so sorry for you.

• 21:23Speaker 00

  Benito was there. He was just, just off camera. And that all happened. And then we finished and walked up to Benito, who's like, good show, guys. He was absolutely expecting something like that to happen.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  Oh, fantastic.

• 21:34Speaker 00

  There was no shock from Benito.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  Has Benito ever been on Off Menu?

• 21:37Speaker 01

  No, he refuses.

• 21:38Speaker 00

  He refuses to, even when he says something out loud that works for the episode, he'll cut it out because he doesn't, he doesn't want his voice to be on.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Never wants to be on it.

• 21:46Speaker 00

  No.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  We'll talk about that afterwards.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Pop lumps or bread? Pop lumps of bread, I want it, my boy, eh? Pop lumps or bread?

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Bread!

• 21:55Speaker 02

  It has to be bread.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  Has to be bread.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  It's got to be bread. I mean, I love a flatbread.

• 21:59Speaker 00

  Mm.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  It's hot, fresh out the oven.

• 22:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  Um, but I also love a, a focaccia.

• 22:04Speaker 00

  Um, yeah.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  That is, it's quite delicately done.

• 22:07Speaker 00

  Um.

• 22:07Speaker 02

  So the rosemary sprigs aren't, you know, too sharp. You know, sometimes it's like, I'm trying to kill.

• 22:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:14Speaker 02

  Kill us or something.

• 22:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, rosemary sprigs, man. Yeah. They can be spiking.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:20Speaker 00

  If you bite straight into one sometimes, I don't like that.

• 22:22Speaker 02

  And it's just like, it sets your, your teeth on edge.

• 22:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  That, but I love a bread. I mean, bread is just one of my great loves.

• 22:29Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  You know, it's, it's the ultimate sign of, it's like somebody giving you bread is somebody, somebody giving you love and.

• 22:38Speaker 00

  That's true, actually.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  And warmth.

• 22:40Speaker 00

  And it's like a welcome as well, isn't it?

• 22:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  If you go to a restaurant and they bring you out warm bread, you're like, I feel at home now.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 22:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Let's do this.

• 22:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  You know?

• 22:47Speaker 00

  Would you like to be in a relationship with a baker?

• 22:50Speaker 02

  A hundred and fifty thousand percent.

• 22:52Speaker 00

  A hundred and fifty thousand.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  But I, I, I think with bakers, maybe the archetype would be quite type A. Baking is scientific.

• 23:00Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  You can't sort of.

• 23:02Speaker 00

  Very true.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna throw some flour in here and whatever. Those, those people are disciplined.

• 23:09Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  They are possibly using class A drugs.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  Bakers? Or bakers?

• 23:17Speaker 02

  Maybe so, yes.

• 23:18Speaker 00

  Because they've got scales?

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 23:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  So I'm, I'm connecting the dots anyway.

• 23:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  When I, I, I, I'm quite a spiritual person.

• 23:27Speaker 00

  Um, yeah.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  And I, I get visions, basically.

• 23:30Speaker 00

  So your visions tell you that the bakers are doing drugs?

• 23:33Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 23:34Speaker 00

  How useful are your visions normally? Because.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Very useful.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 23:39Speaker 00

  Do you think the baker, deciding that bakers do drugs is a useful vision to have moving forward?

• 23:44Speaker 02

  I, I, I, I, I was watching this show, um, uh, Jonathan Creek.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Why are you laughing?

• 23:54Speaker 00

  Because no one said Jonathan Creek out loud for about fifteen years.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  And that was watching it.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  I just wasn't expect, I just wasn't, I was expecting it to be connected to baking. I thought you were gonna say Bake Off or something.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:05Speaker 00

  And then I just wasn't expecting Jonathan Creek.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  That's part of, so part of the media training. I'm trying to, because I get a lot of non sequiturs, but I'm trying to have more.

• 24:13Speaker 00

  No, no, no.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Um, but Jonathan Creek.

• 24:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, I love, I love Jonathan Creek.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Fantastic.

• 24:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:19Speaker 02

  You know that sort of, uh, um, what's the word? You, you have a, a sense about things.

• 24:26Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  And you can, you can connect the dots and, and I'm kind of like him.

• 24:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  You're like Jonathan Creek?

• 24:33Speaker 02

  But just not a magician.

• 24:34Speaker 00

  I'd love to see a reboot of Jonathan Creek with you, you in the lead.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Who would you want like, as like, do you have a, like your assistant?

• 24:41Speaker 00

  Your sidekick.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Your sidekick.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  That's a really, really good question. I think I'd want somebody like, um, I'd, I'd want like a Stephen Merchant.

• 24:50Speaker 00

  Hmm, nice.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Freakishly tall.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  You're a merchant, yeah.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Freakishly tall with a sort of, these totter shell glasses.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  And then there'll be a dog somewhere.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  So Stephen Merchant and the dog, they have a, a real rapport, but it's my dog.

• 25:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  Right?

• 25:07Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:08Speaker 00

  So you jealous of the rapport that the dog has with Stephen Merchant? Yeah, yeah.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  So it starts to affect our working relationship.

• 25:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  But my premonitions, they come, they're just inopportune moments. And I could sense what's going on with the crimes and I get pulled in. So MI six, MI five, basically GCHQ are calling me every day.

• 25:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  And Stephen, me and Stephen are having some issues because of the dog.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  But he's able to help me filter those, all of these visions through. Because like, for example, the bacon, the scales might not be that useful.

• 25:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  But Stephen is the one who helps me like pass through all of these images.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Because he has a photographic memory.

• 25:48Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 25:49Speaker 00

  So everyone's got sort of powers on the show.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  Everyone has powers on the show.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  What, the dog's powers?

• 25:54Speaker 02

  The dog can actually speak.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, so the dog, because the dog can speak.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Huge.

• 26:00Speaker 02

  But the dog only speaks at home.

• 26:04Speaker 02

  Because he doesn't, he doesn't want to, to, to, to reveal himself as the only dog.

• 26:10Speaker 00

  He can speak.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  In his, you can speak.

• 26:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, cause then the, like, scientists would get involved, the military would get involved.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Of course, it's too much.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  But the dog actually, like, in the dog lineage is like a crow. I don't know if you know that crows can speak.

• 26:22Speaker 00

  Sorry?

• 26:23Speaker 02

  So.

• 26:23Speaker 00

  Crows?

• 26:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Crows can basically, yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 00

  In what way? What do you mean?

• 26:28Speaker 02

  So, somewhere along the line, the, the dogs greet, greet, greet, greet, greet, maybe had a choice with a crow. Somehow, I don't know.

• 26:36Speaker 00

  This is in the show?

• 26:38Speaker 02

  Maybe in second season, we'll, we'll.

• 26:39Speaker 00

  Okay, yeah, yeah.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  We discovered that the dog, the talking dog, whatever their ancestors had sex with a crow.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Yes, and so that's how, so it's not as if it's magical.

• 26:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, so you're saying crows can speak?

• 26:52Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:52Speaker 00

  Is that in the show or is that in real life?

• 26:55Speaker 02

  Crows, crows can actually speak in real life. Yes. Uh, Benito, please check that.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  Didn't even look at it.

• 27:04Speaker 00

  It what? As in they can speak, they can speak to humans?

• 27:07Speaker 02

  I think so, yes.

• 27:09Speaker 00

  You think so?

• 27:09Speaker 02

  I saw a TikTok, but it may have been A I. Look, but I think crows can actually speak.

• 27:15Speaker 01

  I think I've heard that. It may have been A I.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  Crows can speak. That's the thing with me. I have some, I have a lot of factoids.

• 27:20Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Some of them are, I, I can't, I don't know if there's just me, it's just me seeing into the future.

• 27:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  And it's not happened yet.

• 27:28Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  Or it's something I've seen on TikTok.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  So it could be a vision.

• 27:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:32Speaker 00

  It could be a T, A I TikTok. It could be a fact.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:36Speaker 00

  Yeah. It'd be, it'd be fun during this chat to try and filter out what's what.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  I know, it's, it's, it's absolutely not. It's, like, I scare myself sometimes.

• 27:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:47Speaker 00

  Your dream starter?

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Oof, Scotch egg.

• 27:51Speaker 00

  I love that.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  Oh, Scotch egg.

• 27:55Speaker 00

  The curl of the lip as you said Scotch egg.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  Uh, Scotch egg. I mean, this country is many things, right?

• 28:03Speaker 01

  Do you wanna, like, just list off a few?

• 28:05Speaker 02

  This country is many things. I, I nurse a colonial wound.

• 28:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  A child of empire begrudgingly.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  The UK, I have a complicated relationship with this, with this state. But the fact that the Scotch egg comes out of this place.

• 28:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  It's, it, it makes me, it gives me hope.

• 28:25Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  For a better, for a better tomorrow.

• 28:29Speaker 00

  How far does the Scotch egg go to redressing the balance with all of the other stuff, though?

• 28:34Speaker 02

  I think it goes quite far.

• 28:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm still here.

• 28:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true. The Scotch egg's keeping you here.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I didn't move. I could have returned to my home. Like, I could have returned to Nigeria. It is a Scotch egg. You go to a nice little gastropub.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  Or do, and I, the, no frills.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  I don't want, I don't need a chorizo. I don't need any, any nonsense on there. Classic, runny egg in the middle.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  Some currants core action.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  Crispy on the outside, golden.

• 29:03Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  I mean, this is a, this is a, a modern feat of engineering.

• 29:08Speaker 00

  Hmm. How do they keep the egg running and cook the meat?

• 29:11Speaker 02

  And I, I, it's just, I could actually check that and like, no, but I think that's maybe why I'm not a foodie. Because I love the mystery.

• 29:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:19Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna keep it as a mystery. Like, how do these people cook the meat and have the egg still runny?

• 29:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Maybe they freeze the egg first. So the egg is cooked and then frozen solid. And then they wrap it in the meat and then they fry it. And then by the time the meat's cooked, the egg has become.

• 29:37Speaker 00

  Defrosted.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Defrosted and the yolk is runny.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  But how would you freeze? You're not gonna freeze the egg in the shell.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  No.

• 29:46Speaker 00

  This could be episode one of the new Jonathan Creek.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 29:50Speaker 00

  How do they make Scotch eggs?

• 29:51Speaker 02

  How do they make Scotch eggs? But we don't Google it. Crucially, we cannot Google this thing.

• 29:55Speaker 00

  You can't Google it. No, not on Jonathan Creek. Imagine if you just Googled stuff.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Crucially, we must.

• 30:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  Get to the bottom of it in the most long-winded way possible.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:05Speaker 00

  Stephen Merchant's helping you out, obviously.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 30:08Speaker 00

  Cause he's going around kitchens that make Scotch eggs and he's taking photos with his mind.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  When he takes photos with his mind, does he like?

• 30:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  Do a thing with his face so you know he's taking the photo?

• 30:17Speaker 02

  That's quite nice. A very long blink.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Yes, that's good. He's, he does have quite long eyelids.

• 30:24Speaker 00

  He does.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  So that's useful.

• 30:26Speaker 00

  Well, he's got long everything, right, because he's a tall guy. It'd be weird if he had short eyelids that didn't cover his eyes.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  Yes. I do want it on record that um I love Stephen Merchant more than anything.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Really?

• 30:37Speaker 00

  He's never been on this podcast.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  So here's one of the things from the UK that you like. Scotch eggs and Merchant. Stephen Merchant, huh?

• 30:43Speaker 02

  I love him.

• 30:46Speaker 01

  What do you, what do you love about him?

• 30:48Speaker 02

  I love his, his eyes. I saw they've come almost like sunken.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  You know, he looks pensive. But also quite blasé.

• 31:02Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  That, how do you get that balance to look like a desical, but also he looks ancient, like an ancient eh eh oracle.

• 31:13Speaker 00

  Yes, not as in he looks old.

• 31:16Speaker 02

  Not as he looks old. He just looks like he has, he knows things.

• 31:20Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Oh, and he's so funny.

• 31:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, he is a funny guy.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  He's very funny.

• 31:25Speaker 00

  Very talented man.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just, yeah, he's, he has to, he's got to be, he's got to be my, my helper.

• 31:33Speaker 00

  In Jonathan, in the Jonathan Creek reboot.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  Who do you want to do the voice of the dog?

• 31:38Speaker 02

  Can I be silly?

• 31:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Chris Morris.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  That'd be good.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  He'd never do it.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  He'd absolutely never do it.

• 31:51Speaker 00

  I don't know. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he pops up and stuff and you.

• 31:54Speaker 02

  He'd absolutely never do it. I mean, he is.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  But it would be a good, his voice would suit a dog.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Like a clever dog that's going around solving crimes.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's very, very, very clever dog.

• 32:06Speaker 00

  Didn't he make a short film where someone's dog was speaking to them?

• 32:09Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  It's something he could do.

• 32:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  That's a genius.

• 32:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  So you want a Scotch egg?

• 32:14Speaker 02

  I want a Scotch egg.

• 32:15Speaker 00

  I did a gig, I did a gig last night in Chelsea, in a pub in Chelsea. Joel Domit was on and Joel's always hungry. He's going, I need some food, I need some food.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  You should check that.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, but he just works.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  He's got worms.

• 32:29Speaker 00

  He works out loads. He's got, he's got that sort of like energy as well where he's constantly wriggling around. So he's always hungry and um or he's got worms. Um, and the man working in the pub went, I'll just get you a Scotch egg. And he said, do you want a Scotch egg to me? I was like, I just had dinner. So I was like, I don't want a Scotch egg. They brought down this incredible looking Scotch egg. Proper runny in the middle.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  You refuse a Scotch egg?

• 32:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I'd eat, I'd just eat.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  Who do you think you are?

• 32:52Speaker 00

  I know, but then obviously I wanted a Scotch egg.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  You're drinking shit water. Turning down Scotch eggs.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  Who the hell do you think you are?

• 32:59Speaker 01

  This is problem.

• 33:01Speaker 00

  But the audience hadn't been let in yet and they were let in, they didn't even know Joel was on and he was like a, a last minute addition.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  Like a surprise.

• 33:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, and then the audience started walking in and there's no dressing room, he was just sat like at the door, eating a full Scotch egg with yolk running down his chin. Like what a tr- what a treat we're in for tonight.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  That's an image.

• 33:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 00

  But it looked like a good Scotch egg.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 33:21Speaker 00

  Like posh gastropub Scotch egg, yeah.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, is that always be, always be comedy?

• 33:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, the, yeah, the new one in Chelsea.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  That's a, that's a very good, that, that's a very good pub.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  I mean, it looks like a restaurant.

• 33:32Speaker 00

  It's not a pub, I said on stage, this is not a pub, guys.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  It looks like a restaurant, but I don't, I think they might have to change the seating up a little bit.

• 33:38Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  To give more pub.

• 33:40Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 33:41Speaker 02

  But I know the Scotch egg there will be, will be phenomenal.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, it looked like a good Scotch egg and the next time I do that gig.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm getting a Scotch egg.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  I'm not having dinner, I'm having Scotch egg.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  I'm go- I'm literally, um, James, Tim, I will be having a Scotch egg.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  That's the people who are on Always Be Comedy.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, just for the listener, who don't know who James and Tim are.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  My two favourite men in comedy.

• 34:03Speaker 01

  They might always be comedy together.

• 34:05Speaker 00

  Sometimes when you get Scotch egg, they'll give you like a chutney or like a dip or a little sauce with it. Do you want anything like that on your dream menu?

• 34:13Speaker 02

  I do like a, I do like a little dip. I like a, a mayonnaise that is, is homemade.

• 34:20Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  So, so like a, and it has a little bit of tanginess to it.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  That can offset the, the kind of salt.

• 34:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:29Speaker 02

  In the.

• 34:29Speaker 00

  A little bit of mustard in there maybe?

• 34:31Speaker 02

  A tiny bit of mustard in there.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  Sriracha mayo, I like a sriracha mayo.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  I love a sriracha mayo, that's very, very good. A sriracha mayo and then there's like a, I've been, been getting truffle mayos.

• 34:41Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's quite nice. Truffle, you know, it's, it's overused in, in many ways, but in a mayo, just a, a dollop.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  It's okay.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  Wasabi mayo before we move on.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Ah, wasabi mayo is not allowed.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 34:56Speaker 02

  No, it's not allowed. My chest, yes. It's going to be too, it's too hot.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not very good with, I'm the one Nigerian, well, Yoruba girl.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  So where my, um, I'm half Yoruba, half Idoma. That's like the, there's lots of different ethnic groups in Nigeria.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  But Yorubas are famously good with, with like spice.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  Levels, like we can eat hot food. I'm the only one who simply cannot.

• 35:22Speaker 01

  The o- the only.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  The only one. And if any Yoruba people comment on this thing and claim that they are, they are amongst those who can't have spice, delete the comments.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  I don't know if we can do that.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  I think that will have to, you might have to, we have to give you the login and you can do it. We can't get Veneto to do.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  I can do that manually, yes.

• 35:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, if, I don't think Veneto can go through filtering the comments like that.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 35:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  I make unfounded claims that I think I need to.

• 35:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  I need to actually just maintain.

• 35:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. Today's episode of the Off Menu Podcast is sponsored by Cozy, the home of possibilities, James.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  Ah, man, Ed, Cozy has everything you need to make your home feel like it has a plan. Do you know what I mean?

• 36:04Speaker 00

  I know what you mean. Cozy is a wonderful furniture company. It makes furnishing your whole home easy. Sofas, dining, storage, rugs, bedroom, even outdoor, all designed to make your space feel put together without the usual furniture stress. And James, we talk about dream meals on this podcast. But you know what? We very rarely talk about where we want to eat this dream meal.

• 36:24Speaker 01

  Sure, yeah, I like it when it does come up. It is very important. It changes the whole meal, the setting, the vibe. And Cozy's modular customizable furniture for the whole home does just that.

• 36:35Speaker 00

  And the meal, James, doesn't necessarily end at dessert. We've often talked about wanting to take our maybe final course through to a comfy room. And I think this is where Cozy can really come in handy. Go and relax on the sofa, maybe even eat your meal at a lovely, beautiful cozy table. Lingering a little bit, move through with coffees and dessert to a lovely couch. But I know what you're like, James, you're a mucky pup.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  I'm gonna spill stuff everywhere. Is that gonna ruin the Cozy furniture?

• 37:00Speaker 00

  No, don't worry about that. That James, because it's highly washable, James. It's sauce, wine, sparkling water, dessert crumbs. You telling one of your big stories and sloshing a coffee everywhere. Don't worry, you can pop it in the wash.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Oh, so you're saying Cozy makes every day at home feel like my best day?

• 37:15Speaker 00

  Absolutely, that's exactly what I'm saying. And with Cozy, your home can grow with you, adapting to new spaces, new styles and every era of your life, James. I think it's so hard, especially when you move somewhere new, to immediately make that place feel like yours, that it's been put together well. And that's where Cozy comes in.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  And because it's cozy, the furniture isn't just good looking, but actually practical. Modular pieces, easy assembly, washable and interchangeable covers and free design consultations if you want help making the whole room work.

• 37:43Speaker 00

  And it's easy to order, ship and assemble and maintain, James. The only way is the Cozy way.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Visit Cozy today, that's C O Z E Y dot com and make yourself at home.

• 38:02Speaker 00

  Your dream main course.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  So this is where, you know, I was telling you guys before that I was very nervous. Because coming on this institution and I don't want to let my family down and let basically the world down. And the main has been a real source of anguish for me. Because I was born in London, but I grew up in Lagos and I've been back and forth. And I don't want to disgrace my ancestors with this choice.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  You're putting a lot of, a lot of weight on this choice here.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:40Speaker 00

  I don't think you can disgrace your ancestors with it.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Maybe you could do.

• 38:44Speaker 00

  But do bear in mind you could do.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  So my, my dream main is going to have to be smoky joll of rice with ayamashi. It's like a green stew.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  And planting with coleslaw. If there, if it's possible, is this, this restaurant can give me anything. Add moi moi. So moi moi is like a bean cake. That's also got a bit of egg in it.

• 39:16Speaker 02

  So double egg.

• 39:17Speaker 00

  Double egg, double egg time.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 39:20Speaker 02

  And it's all, it'll all come together. So it doesn't include my side.

• 39:24Speaker 00

  Yes, yeah, it's all, it's all in, in one format. There's no.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  It's all in one format. Yes, yes. It's all in one format.

• 39:30Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  But if, because there's, there's a lot of, uh, conflict about Jollof rice.

• 39:37Speaker 00

  Yes, we've had, we, you know, we've had various sort of opinions on Jollof rice.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  And it's the most boring conflict and I'm going to put it to bed.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  Once, once I speak on this.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Many people have come on the podcast and said this.

• 39:48Speaker 00

  That they're gonna try and put it to bed.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  They, they've been like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna end it now.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  I'm not saying you can't do it.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not that, it's not that I'm gonna try.

• 39:56Speaker 01

  But good luck.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  It's after, after, after this, we're not talking about it anymore.

• 40:00Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  I'm enforcing it.

• 40:01Speaker 01

  What do we have when we have other guests on and they wanna talk about it? Do we say to them, you can't?

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Our idea has already talked, spoken, spoken about it.

• 40:06Speaker 00

  Okay, and we've ended it.

• 40:08Speaker 02

  And we've ended it.

• 40:08Speaker 00

  You've got to pick something different. Yeah.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  This is it.

• 40:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  The Jollof rice, is it Ghanaian Jollof? Is it Nigerian Jollof, uh, Jollof, whatever? It's not even either of those things.

• 40:18Speaker 00

  Right.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  Jollof rice from Senegal.

• 40:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Cheboudin, that's the original Jollof rice.

• 40:25Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 40:25Speaker 02

  We're not arguing about Nigerians and Ghanaians anymore. Both of our Jollof rices are second to the one they are doing in Senegal. That is the end of it.

• 40:35Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  So this particular Jollof that you guys are gonna give me is going to be directly inspired by Cheb.

• 40:43Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 40:43Speaker 02

  So it's gonna have that smokiness.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  It's gonna have that, it's almost like a, it's like, it feels like there's, there's paprika.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  Just.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Lovely.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Popping out.

• 40:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  At you to say hello. You know what I mean?

• 40:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Similar to perfection.

• 41:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  The rice is fluffy. It's almost like, it's like, it's, uh, uh, in, in a, in a three D printer or something. It's like, it's just, it's been to perfection.

• 41:11Speaker 00

  Um.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  But it's just some auntie in the back, putting her back into it.

• 41:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:18Speaker 02

  That sounds sexual, but I guess in some ways it is.

• 41:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, sure. I mean, it sounds phenomenal. Yeah.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Oh, it's too good.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  I love the the smokiness, that's what that's what brings me in, yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, cause I guess with, because there's jollof, you can just have that it's not smoky.

• 41:32Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  But I love when it's like, it's like, this is like party jollof, where you would get it like at a wedding or you're going to someone's fiftieth or something.

• 41:40Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  And they burn the, like, when the rice is simmering, they leave it at the end to burn and they put like foil on the cover.

• 41:47Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  So it is, they're cooking it up.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  And by the time they uncover that thing, they smell.

• 41:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  There's nothing like it.

• 41:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  I mean, you can do, when I make it, it's not, I I can't get it smoky because of the way my, I don't have like an open flame in my, on my stove.

• 42:05Speaker 00

  Right, okay, you need, you need the open flame to get that taste, yeah, yeah.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what does it, that's what does it.

• 42:11Speaker 00

  So what in, in the jollof, obviously you've got all those spices and stuff, do you, is there like, there's there meat in the jollof, you, what particular meat?

• 42:19Speaker 02

  You would have, so my, my meat would be in my ai- ayamashi, so the meat will always be on this, on the side. Um, but you would be, you would have simmered it in like a beef stock or like a chicken stock, so that will, that will come through.

• 42:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. Mm hmm.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  But then some people have like, I love a smoked turkey.

• 42:34Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  Of like a turkey wing, and you're ju, and it's, it's a bit soft, so you're fighting with the meats, you know.

• 42:41Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  But you know that it's, you're doing, it's a labor of love.

• 42:44Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  To consume this meal.

• 42:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, and that's, so the meat's mainly coming in the green, in the green stew.

• 42:48Speaker 02

  Stew, yeah, but some people don't like, so I love to have ai- ayamashi with my jollof rice rather than this stew with a white rice, cause some people do that. But I like to have a clash of, of seasonings.

• 43:02Speaker 00

  Right, so people don't like it because it's too much.

• 43:04Speaker 02

  It's too much, I think it is too much, but I, I err on the side of too much.

• 43:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, so you're ma, you're ma, you're making this at home?

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Well, I so I've actually discovered eh um it's almost like a ready meal. And it's called Tasty's.

• 43:18Speaker 00

  Um.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  They sell it in in some of the big scenes space in the country. And it is jollof rice and chicken. And then they have ayam ashay and they have, this is the best thing in the world, gizdu.

• 43:30Speaker 00

  Um hum.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  So it's gizzard and dudu together, dudu is plantain.

• 43:34Speaker 00

  Yes, not the extinct bird.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  Not the extinct bird.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  Rest in peace.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  That would be, R I P, it would be really hilarious if the bird was extinct because we were eating it.

• 43:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:43Speaker 02

  But the gizdu is like, it then adds like a sweetness.

• 43:47Speaker 00

  Um.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  Because that's sort of red peppers, green peppers.

• 43:50Speaker 00

  Um.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  Sweetness of the plantain and that that you can also have that as a side. So there's lots of different types of meats.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  And then, uh, shaki. Do you guys know tripe?

• 44:00Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  Little pieces of tripe.

• 44:03Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  Dotted.

• 44:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  About in the stew.

• 44:10Speaker 00

  I love all that.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  It's emotional.

• 44:12Speaker 00

  Shout out to tripe.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  Shout out to tripe.

• 44:14Speaker 00

  He loves tripe, this boy.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  It's so good.

• 44:17Speaker 00

  It's so good. And people get so weird about stuff like that.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, because it's it's not good to eat an animal's stomach because it's full of waste.

• 44:24Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, you're obsessed with not eating waste, aren't you?

• 44:27Speaker 02

  I am.

• 44:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I actually had for about maybe three or four months, I was obsessed with fecal clouds.

• 44:36Speaker 00

  Do you mean farts or?

• 44:38Speaker 02

  No, I mean when you go into public toilets.

• 44:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:42Speaker 00

  Um.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  Basically, if you're in a bar or like in a in a pub, don't take your drink into the toilet. Because they're fecal clouds.

• 44:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  Because you like, if people have done done shits in there and stuff that can evaporate into the air.

• 44:58Speaker 00

  The whole shit evaporates into the air.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  Some of it.

• 45:00Speaker 00

  Some of it.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  And leaves like fecal matter.

• 45:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  Um as a as a mist.

• 45:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Which can settle into your drink.

• 45:09Speaker 00

  But that, when you get, if you're going into the toilet, aren't you breathing that in anyway?

• 45:13Speaker 02

  This is the thing. This is the problem. So damned if I do, damned if I don't.

• 45:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:21Speaker 02

  They say tough times never last. Only tough people do.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  I've never heard that phrase.

• 45:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, I like that phrase.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  Because life is tough.

• 45:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. So what do you, what do you do now if you, you don't take your drink into the toilet?

• 45:34Speaker 02

  I don't take my drink into the toilet, but I have to breathe.

• 45:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  I've got to breathe.

• 45:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  So I'm in there like this.

• 45:44Speaker 02

  Oh God, I can't. There's just so much about life that is, it is so difficult.

• 45:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  The weight of existence, I mean.

• 45:55Speaker 00

  And if you worry about the weight of existence and then you find out about fecal clout, like what are you supposed to do?

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Oh, over the edge. I call it smartens.

• 46:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, over the edge.

• 46:03Speaker 00

  Because also, think about who's doing a shit in a pub. It's the worst people. It's not the people who care, care about their, their health or anything.

• 46:10Speaker 02

  The way my bum.

• 46:11Speaker 00

  You do a shit in a pub?

• 46:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  I have to put my hand up. The way my bum movements are set up.

• 46:14Speaker 00

  You shit in a pub as well? Right, well, I've just lagged you both off, I'm sorry. But Anita, are you shitting in a pub? What is wrong with you? Do your shits at home.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  So shit break.

• 46:22Speaker 00

  I'm shit break.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  He's a shit break.

• 46:24Speaker 00

  I'm shit break from American Pie.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  Do you have a shit break from American Pie?

• 46:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 46:29Speaker 00

  He's got to go home to shit.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  Could only use his own toilet at home.

• 46:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:34Speaker 01

  So he calls him shit break.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  But you shit here.

• 46:36Speaker 00

  If I needed a shit, I would go for a shit in a pub, but I tend to be like, wake up in the morning, start making the coffee, the smell of the coffee, off to the toilet, bish bash bosh, that's me for the day.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 46:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's pretty good, right?

• 46:49Speaker 02

  That's right. That's quite regular.

• 46:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:52Speaker 00

  It's pretty much the same time every day.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  It's one of the most like liberating things about starting stand up is that I started shitting in pubs.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  What did you, do you, do you remember your first stand up shit in a pub?

• 47:05Speaker 01

  I remember some early ones.

• 47:06Speaker 00

  Let's clarify what you mean by that.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't standing up while shitting, but uh, but yeah, I didn't do a stand up shit.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  I've done a squat shit.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  I do, I have to do a squat shit.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  Someone's got to hover.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it is, it is precarious.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 47:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, this, this could end very badly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I remember those early days of thinking like, I'm, I'm actually doing this. I, I, I, I never would have done this. I would have always been like, absolutely no way. I'm going for shit in, in a public toilet.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  No way I'm doing that. Early on, my son's like, I'm gonna have to. I'm nervous before these gigs.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  And I was like, do you know what? I don't even care anymore. This is great.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  It's fantastic.

• 47:44Speaker 01

  Sitting here.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  Reckless abandon. Yeah.

• 47:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely reckless abandon all the way, all the way out.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  I think that's really, I think that says a lot about you. And I think it's, it's, it's opened up a whole new frontier of your emotional state.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 47:58Speaker 00

  You should start doing it.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  I don't think I should start doing it. It means I have to hold my morning one in.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Why would you hold your morning one in, sir?

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Well, because I don't need one when I'm in the pub, do I?

• 48:06Speaker 02

  Okay, that's.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  So if you want me to start shitting in a pub, I'm gonna have to hold my morning one in. Do you do, so it's the morning one, a really big, long one. Will Smith does this.

• 48:16Speaker 00

  What?

• 48:16Speaker 02

  What, what does he do?

• 48:17Speaker 01

  Well, I heard on the radio, Will Smith said, when he's having a shit in the morning, he wants to get it done.

• 48:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  He doesn't wanna be going back and needing another shit later on in the day. So he'll just sit on the toilet and he'll be there. He's got like, almost like a mini office there. So that he's having the shit. He said, he said it in an interview.

• 48:38Speaker 00

  He said it in an interview.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  This was a long time ago.

• 48:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  I heard him say this.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  An office.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  Oh wait, it's, it's like.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  He's got his thing.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  He's got his phone, he's got like some books, he's, you know, he's, he's just there with a bunch of whatever he needs for, for the day. That's there while he's having a shit so that like, if anyone, you know, if anything happens, he's across.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  He's across it.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  You know, and he's there for a long time.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  I wonder how long is long.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. He said, he, he just said, he was on the radio, and I, I remember I was in Italy.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was in the car.

• 49:12Speaker 00

  Why are you listening to Will Smith on the radio when you're in Italy?

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Just on the radio. We just put on the radio and he was being interviewed and he, he, he said, I'd like to get it done.

• 49:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  He said, I'd like to get it done. I don't wanna, I don't wanna be going back later on.

• 49:23Speaker 00

  Get it done.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Later one in the day and having like part two, part three.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you're not supposed to be on there for that. You're, you're not supposed to be on there for that long.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  No, you get piles if you do that.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're not supposed to do that.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  I mean, that explains so much about him.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:43Speaker 00

  Dream side dish then, you said that that, your side is not, not included.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  This is, this is where it gets tricky, cause I, I do have, I, I feel like I need to, to also be a little bit like grown up. So I will do a side of tender stem broccoli. A broccolini. Um, just some rock salt, some olive oil, like maybe a bit garlic and I need it crunchy. Cause I wanna feel like I've also had my five a day.

• 50:11Speaker 00

  Yes, you're still getting the nutrients out of it.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  I'm still getting the nutrients out of it. So I just, and I'll just, I'll, I'll, I'll just work at that. Intermittently.

• 50:20Speaker 00

  So is that just to make you feel like a grown up and like you're being healthy?

• 50:23Speaker 02

  Just to make me, and also typically I would be like at dinner with my sister or like my friends and we love a broccolini. The girls love a broccolini.

• 50:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  Tender stem.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  Slender. It's, and it's a little bit, you know.

• 50:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 02

  It's a little bit cheeky. Always, always a tender stem.

• 50:42Speaker 00

  So you're having it to feel grown up or are you having it because you love it and the girls love broccolini?

• 50:47Speaker 02

  Many things can be true at once.

• 50:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I think there's a duality there.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  You know, multiplicity in, in, if you must, because it's the girls, the girls love a broccolini. I wanna feel grown up.

• 50:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  And it actually tastes quite nice.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  It does. I mean, I think I started eating broccoli to be grown up and be like, you gotta get, you gotta get your vitamins in.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  But over time, I love it now.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  It's just good. And even at home, it's so easy for like, when, if I'm doing like a, like a salmon and potatoes, I'll just toss some broccolini.

• 51:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  On the side, like I'll, I'll steam it a little bit and then put it in a, um, in a, in a frying pan. Little, um, sesame oil.

• 51:26Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  With some salt, onion powder, garlic powder, toss, toss, toss, little butter, we are good to go.

• 51:32Speaker 00

  Yeah. You got a steamer?

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Uh, no, I just, I steam it manually. I'll just put it, you know how you do, it's like almost, did they call it Banbury?

• 51:40Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:41Speaker 02

  Uh. Oh, any, the one that just, you just.

• 51:43Speaker 00

  A little bath?

• 51:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just did like that.

• 51:45Speaker 00

  That's how I do it as well.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:47Speaker 00

  I put it in just like a sieve. I put it in like the strainer, the broccoli and then put it above the water and then cover it with a, yeah, yeah.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  And it steams it by itself.

• 51:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. We got, my, my, my mum got a steamer when we were kids and it was a big deal. It's a real big deal, that steamer. Yeah.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  It is a big, I mean, she, as in a, a purpose-built steamer.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was like a really big day. We got this steamer, this is how we're gonna do our vegetables now.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 52:10Speaker 00

  Different shelves, you put them on different shelves.

• 52:11Speaker 01

  Shelves, I don't, I still don't understand the shelving system, but I guess you could do more than one at once. I guess that was it.

• 52:17Speaker 00

  I guess the closer to the steam.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, because the further away from the steam, you would have it like a bit al dente.

• 52:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, so you'd put the ones that don't.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  Do they still sell those?

• 52:25Speaker 01

  They must do.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  They're pretty bulky though, I think from.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  I hate washing it up.

• 52:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Oh, no, it makes more sense if we can just do it the way we've been doing.

• 52:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think so, because then we just get multi-use out of our pans, you know?

• 52:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 52:35Speaker 00

  I think with like, I don't have enough room in my kitchen for all this stuff. I want all of these gadgets, but I'd be really annoyed with it eventually.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  Because you have to put it, I think, I don't think it's good to see the gadgets.

• 52:48Speaker 00

  So you, you have like minimalist kitchen setup, you want to put the gadgets away.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  I don't have a big enough, so it has to look, yeah, but my dream, I can't, you're gonna have to cut, no, I'm not saying it.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  I can't say it.

• 52:59Speaker 00

  That was good because you were gonna say something, then you said you're gonna have to cut this out, and then you went, no, I can cut this out by not saying it.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 53:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Media training.

• 53:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  It's working, yeah.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  What was it though?

• 53:15Speaker 02

  I would like to have two kitchens.

• 53:18Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  The cooking kitchen and the stage kitchen.

• 53:21Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  I am trying to, my new thing now is I want to be more like, like everyday girl, like, like girl next door.

• 53:30Speaker 00

  Broccolini girl.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, broccolini girl, like she, like she cycles, you know, splister bill with her boyfriend, like that kind of thing. Like really, like normal girl.

• 53:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  But actually I want two kitchens.

• 53:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, but that's why the second kitchen's hidden, right? Because then you don't need to.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  The second kitchen is like, and a lot, some people in like, really rich people in Nigeria have this, where you would have the kitchen, because our food is very, very fragrant.

• 53:57Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  So it's like, it's really hard to make sure the smells don't like go into your whole house.

• 54:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:02Speaker 02

  So if you're, if you're of means, you would cook behind, like in the kitchen behind the house.

• 54:07Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  I see.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  So it's like. It might even be just a thing of like practicality.

• 54:13Speaker 00

  Yeah. In the show kitchen, would there be any practicality to it? Could you do anything in the show kitchen? Or would it be all be like fake food and stuff?

• 54:21Speaker 02

  You can do things in showcase. So so all the things you do in the show kitchen are like you can steam the veg. Like you can do like last minute touch ups, like you can you can make tea and coffee.

• 54:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  Like, but it's not gonna be, I'm not gonna be frying palm oil.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  In the show kitchen.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  The hardcore stuff happens in the back kitchen.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  It's gotta happen in the back.

• 54:42Speaker 00

  I like I like it as an idea.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I don't wanna give down to them. Like, I'm not trying to be like, you know, aristocratic.

• 54:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  What about this? Three kitchens.

• 54:52Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  So that's interesting.

• 54:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  And it's almost like, so it's like you're getting closer and closer to the belly of the beast. It's like going down into a mine.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 55:04Speaker 00

  So what happens in your mind in the three kitchens? How are they split up then, jobs wise?

• 55:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, the first one, so like tea and coffee.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 55:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  Second one.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  Getting a bit, you're getting, so you'd you'd have like, you'd fry garlic in there.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, we'll make a sandwich in the second one.

• 55:20Speaker 02

  You can make a sandwich in the first.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  Really?

• 55:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, because sandwich is cold, right?

• 55:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  But if you're making a toastie, gotta be down, gotta be in the second.

• 55:29Speaker 00

  Second kitchen, second kitchen's for toasties, yeah.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Third kitchen?

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Third kitchen, I think that's like your spit roasts. I'd like, yeah, if you're spit roasting stuff.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Yes, a a a whole pig.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, there should be like a pit in there, like those fire pits.

• 55:44Speaker 00

  Open fire, definitely open fire down there, yeah.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  Got that in there.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  Furnace.

• 55:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, and and like hot chocolate.

• 55:55Speaker 00

  Hot chocolate, second kitchen.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  You know what? It depends on the kind of hot chocolate you're making.

• 55:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  As I saw one in, I can't remember what, who who's come up with this chili chili hot, like hot chocolate with the chili in it. Get that shit in the third kitchen.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  That's in the third kitchen.

• 56:10Speaker 02

  Cause you're I, it's like you're you're in a lab.

• 56:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  It's great. I love it. I love it.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  Putting stuff, just throwing stuff together.

• 56:16Speaker 00

  In your mind, are you the one cooking in all the kitchens? Or are there people cooking for you in the kitchens?

• 56:22Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, there are people who are very well compensated.

• 56:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  And who love their jobs.

• 56:27Speaker 00

  Of course, but do they get uglier as they go down through the kitchen?

• 56:31Speaker 01

  Mine is like the Tevert in us, in us.

• 56:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  I, I think they're going to be the same beauty levels.

• 56:38Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  Because I, I, I mean, I, I, I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

• 56:45Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 56:46Speaker 02

  So anybody who comes into the house is automatically beautiful.

• 56:49Speaker 00

  Right.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Because their spirits must be pure.

• 56:52Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  So I, I don't.

• 56:55Speaker 01

  Ed thinks people are ugly.

• 56:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, especially in the third kitchen. In the third kitchen, I'm imagining it's really dark in there. It's almost candlelight. It's like a medieval kitchen. And everyone's like, they're doing the spiritizing. I'll never speak last. We've got to another big harmony.

• 57:14Speaker 02

  That, that.

• 57:14Speaker 00

  They're really, they're really like.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  I, I didn't, I didn't like that at all.

• 57:19Speaker 00

  No, but then you don't need to speak to them.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 57:21Speaker 00

  Because they have to pass a message up to the second kitchen and then they pass it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  But they, so the, the third kitchen people, the sort of gremlins, they will not be allowed out.

• 57:30Speaker 00

  No, you never see them.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  It's live in the kitchen, I guess.

• 57:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 57:38Speaker 00

  Your dream drink.

• 57:42Speaker 02

  Margarita. It can be alcoholic, right?

• 57:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, so margarita.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  No.

• 57:50Speaker 02

  This is a tea table.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  Dry January, we're recording this.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  No, I, I don't even do dry January anymore. I don't even pretend.

• 57:55Speaker 00

  No.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't, I don't think it's, it makes sense to do that, to, to stop drinking in the hardest month of the year.

• 58:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  I went to a restaurant yesterday and, uh, on the menu it said, it's dry martini January.

• 58:10Speaker 00

  You love that, don't you?

• 58:11Speaker 01

  So it was just, oh, yeah, we got, they're doing dry martinis all month.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  What's the restaurant called? I'll go there today.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  It's called Suna, spelled S U N E.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  S U N E, Suna.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:21Speaker 02

  Shout out to them.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  Dry martini January.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did that.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  Too hard right now to be giving up drinking.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 00

  Also, it is a bit silly that you go from like the month where you drink the most in December.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 58:32Speaker 00

  And then go to nothing. You need a soft landing, I think.

• 58:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, it shocks your system. I think dry January should actually just be like beers.

• 58:40Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  And what, like unwind.

• 58:42Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 58:42Speaker 02

  So maybe no spirits.

• 58:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  If you wanna be like.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 58:45Speaker 02

  Sort of strict about it.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  I went to a, a pub the other day as well. This is sounding like I'm. Going absolutely hog wild in it, but like went to a pub at the bar. There was a little gong about that big, a little mini gong on the bar. And it was there for people to hit it when they had quit, when they couldn't do Dry January anymore.

• 59:06Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  So it was just if if someone is like, fuck it, I can't, just go over here.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  And that would happen literally in, like you would lose your resolve.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 02

  At that pub.

• 59:17Speaker 01

  Hmm. Yeah. I'd do that. I'd hit that New Year's Eve. Yeah.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  Oh, sure.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. Happy New Year, dong.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. I once didn't drink for a year.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:27Speaker 02

  Um, and to be honest, it did change my life.

• 59:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  Oh. Um, it was a completely.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  For the better.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Yes, transformative experience and I have never had that much clarity and peace.

• 59:39Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  Um, but then I went to a wedding and I got absolutely sloshed.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  And it just broke the sobriety.

• 59:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. So goodbye to clarity and peace.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  And since that the I've not known it, it is risked.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  But you're like a margarita.

• 59:57Speaker 02

  Of course, two.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  Two margaritas.

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  I love a Tommy's. So some, sometimes I alternate. So I do it like a salt rim.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  Just like, um, shaken, right? Not the one that they put ice in it.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Oh, so you don't want the, there's like loads, you don't want loads of ice in the cup?

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Just, I just want it, just want me to mark.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  Salt rim and then I'll alternate with the Tommy's. Tommy's a little bit sweeter.

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  What's the Tommy's?

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  So Tommy's margaritas, just like a, they, I think it's, there's less quantrill or might, um, might be no quantrill at all. And it just, it, it's not as tangy.

• 1:00:29Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:00:30Speaker 02

  So it doesn't really hit the back of your throat.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  The same way.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  And I'll just alternate like that.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  Until I start slurring my words.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  Yes. Spicy margaritas, you, where do you stand on that?

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  I can't do it. I think the spicy margarita is actually, it's one of the reasons why the UK social contract is, is failing. I think people need, we need to start having a dialogue about the spicy margarita. What is that?

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Why is this spicy?

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Why am I drinking pep?

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  Who came up with it?

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. I don't know, actually, but I like it. I like a spicy marg.

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  Ed, where did it come from?

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  What, my love of spicy marg or the drink?

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  Love of spicy marg.

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Oh. I don't know. I just like a bit of spice. It gives, it puts a zing in my dingaling. I love it. Well, what?

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  Don't, don't you ever say that again.

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  That's ding in my dingaling.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  I'm horrified. It's the first time that he's actually.

• 1:01:24Speaker 00

  Look, I felt that it was gonna be the only time I could say.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  He's completely. I apologize.

• 1:01:31Speaker 00

  It just means.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  I apologize so much.

• 1:01:33Speaker 00

  There was a tea advert with Stephen Fry, they said that phrase, I liked it, it just means like, you know, a bit of pep pep in your step.

• 1:01:38Speaker 01

  Your dingaling is your penis.

• 1:01:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know, but I don't mean it gives me.

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  In my dingaling.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  It's your penis head.

• 1:01:44Speaker 00

  I don't mean it gives me a boner, I just mean it peps me up.

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  That's what it means.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  No, it doesn't, it's taken on a new meaning, it's different now, it's different now.

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  It does mean that.

• 1:01:52Speaker 00

  It doesn't mean that now.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  I'm gonna, every time somebody orders a spicy margarita in my presence, I'm gonna think about a zing in your dingaling.

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, you and your little.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  I'll bring it up.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Little pathetic dingaling, getting a zing. Shooting down it.

• 1:02:07Speaker 00

  What's wrong? What's wrong with me getting a zing in my dingaling from a spicy marg?

• 1:02:11Speaker 01

  Absolutely disgraceful, we got a guest here.

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, disgraceful. I know you too well.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  I would object if you were saying that in the intros and outros, it just me and Benito.

• 1:02:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:21Speaker 01

  I want it's right there.

• 1:02:22Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  And you're saying I'm getting a zing in your dingaling, your penis.

• 1:02:25Speaker 00

  I just mean I like it, and it gives me a pep in my step.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  Nine nine nine, please.

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. Let's call them the police.

• 1:02:33Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  I can't, I think, and I don't know if Soho House.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  That terrible establishment is the reason for the spicy margarita.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  Being unleashed onto all of us.

• 1:02:46Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:02:47Speaker 02

  And I have a feeling it's them.

• 1:02:48Speaker 00

  I can't remember what they call it though. They call it something different.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  Picante.

• 1:02:52Speaker 00

  Picante, that's it, yeah.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  I think, and I, they have something to do with it. It's a conspiracy.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm happy to blame them.

• 1:03:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I think it's, yeah, I can't have it spicy for some reason.

• 1:03:05Speaker 00

  I'm happy to blame them.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, heartburn.

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  Sorry, sorry, guys.

• 1:03:10Speaker 00

  Don't cancel my membership.

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  You're a member.

• 1:03:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  Of course he is.

• 1:03:16Speaker 00

  Do I go? Absolutely not.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. You're a member. James, are you a member?

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:03:21Speaker 00

  I got it free for a while because I did gigs for them.

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  Right. I had it free for about four years.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  Spent so much time now.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 1:03:34Speaker 00

  Right. Turns out you're the loser, James.

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I'm the little dweeb.

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  He's not a member of Soho House.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 1:03:43Speaker 00

  We arrive at your dream dessert.

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  That will be a sticky toffee pudding.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  Lovely.

• 1:03:47Speaker 00

  Lovely.

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  I'm more of a custard girl than an ice cream. Now, with a sticky toffee pudding, what I'm finding is that certain establishments seem to be skimping on the dates.

• 1:03:57Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  And to get the perfect sort of ratio, sort of moistness to kind of firmness, let's bring back the dates. And the sauce on top, that like treacle, the treacle sauce. I want it like a drip, like mainline injected directly into my eyeballs.

• 1:04:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  If possible.

• 1:04:22Speaker 00

  We can do that at the dream restaurant if you want.

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  Yes. Sometimes I go to a place and I'm like, oh, I ordered the sticky toffee. I'm excited. It comes. The treacle sauce, it's like I am in jail. Like, can you give me some more? I feel like Oliver Twist, like I'm beg, like.

• 1:04:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  I need the treacle sauce. I need as much of it as possible. And it's the perfect way to calm my nerves. My belly is full. And I just add a little bit on top and a sticky toffee with so much treacle sauce that a Victorian child will be dead by the end of the day.

• 1:05:05Speaker 00

  Because it had so much.

• 1:05:06Speaker 02

  Because it had so much.

• 1:05:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  With some custard, the custard is swirling into the sauce.

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  And it's making this sort of marble defect on the plate. Typically, there's candlelight to then complement. I mean, this is, this is what it means to be alive.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  What else is there?

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  Do you want any like fecal clouds anywhere near that?

• 1:05:32Speaker 02

  I will fucking flip this mic.

• 1:05:37Speaker 02

  I was in, I was in a state of bliss, you know, I was like.

• 1:05:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, he knew.

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  I was right there.

• 1:05:42Speaker 00

  He, yeah, he knew that. And that's why he brought up the fecal cloud.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  Oh, that is cruel.

• 1:05:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 1:05:46Speaker 02

  That's a cruel thing to do.

• 1:05:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, sorry.

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  A fecal cloud would end that. It's just ended it.

• 1:05:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 1:05:53Speaker 00

  What an awful way to end the dream, Muny. A fecal cloud.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  A fecal cloud, yeah.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  Fecal cloud right at the end. A little petty for.

• 1:06:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, petty for.

• 1:06:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  I feel like stomping you out.

• 1:06:05Speaker 00

  Guests often feel like that at the end.

• 1:06:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, blue to the face.

• 1:06:07Speaker 01

  I don't feel proud of it.

• 1:06:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  You've sort of defiled yourself.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. So I love, I love the, the, all the, the triple sauce, the custard swelled in with it.

• 1:06:18Speaker 00

  Sometimes you find, when I delve into a sticky toffee pudding, I want it to be like moist with that sauce throughout the whole thing.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:28Speaker 00

  And sometimes you get in and it's dry, it's dry in the middle.

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  I can't, so that for me is where I, and I don't know what, if that's a mistake or if it's on purpose. But it, it must be throughout.

• 1:06:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  Not on top.

• 1:06:41Speaker 00

  But I think that's also what you're talking about with the dates, the lack of dates. If there's dates throughout it, that stays moist and, yeah.

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  Cause I'm, I'm, I'm seeing it where it's more of like this weird cake.

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  Like sponge.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And I just, I'm just like, I'm always looking forward to sticky toffee. But there seems to be like a, and I, I, I think maybe if there's an ombudsman or some kind of like quality control.

• 1:07:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  That's, you know, like in, in, you, you can't call something champagne if it's not from the region of champagne.

• 1:07:10Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:07:11Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  Some kind of standard for the sticky toffee that we know, that if we've ordered this thing.

• 1:07:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  That it's going to be that.

• 1:07:17Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  So, and maybe somebody's looking into it. I don't know, Gordon, help us out.

• 1:07:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  Gordon Ramsay.

• 1:07:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, Gordon Ramsay is one of my, unfortunately, one of my idols.

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  Really? That's a surprise. You, you love love and you love life and you're very spiritual. Gordon Ramsay doesn't embody those things when I think about him.

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I guess I contain multitudes.

• 1:07:41Speaker 01

  Yes, absolutely. What, what do you love about Gordon Ramsay?

• 1:07:44Speaker 02

  I love that he is able to immediately detect when something has been microwaved.

• 1:07:52Speaker 02

  And he will just say.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  This is my microwave.

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  And if you dare lie.

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, he knows.

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  He knows. What are you doing?

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's not really asking, is he?

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  He's not asking.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  It's a test.

• 1:08:05Speaker 02

  And it's a, and it's, and it's a very Nigerian thing to do. So there's something about him that's so Nigerian.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  Cause he's asking you because he knows that if you lie.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  Ah, Gordon. And this, and, and why you surfing him frozen food?

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  Why is that?

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  These people on Kitchen Nightmares, what are they playing?

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  It's like, come on.

• 1:08:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, he'll know.

• 1:08:28Speaker 02

  He'll know.

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  He'll know this is being filmed.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  It's just.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  We already know it's the audience. Why lie when it's already been filmed?

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Have you seen him touch a plate? When, because he's, he's, and he's, he's, he, he moves it round like this.

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  And what he's doing is he's inspecting the dish.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  But he's also checking the temperature of the plate because that's one of the ways he knows that he's been microwaved.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  Right. Yeah.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  So you think you're, you think you're going to deceive Gordon Ramsay?

• 1:08:59Speaker 02

  Why are you trying to deceive Gordon Ramsay?

• 1:09:01Speaker 01

  I, I would, I personally would never try to deceive Gordon Ramsay. No.

• 1:09:04Speaker 02

  And when he declares, sometimes you've ma- you've microwaved it, that's too bad.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:09:10Speaker 02

  If you haven't microwaved it, but there's something about it that is not quite right, he'll say, it's dry. It's just, it's so dry. The way he pronounces restaurant, he says restaurant. Ah, Gordon. I love Gordon Ramsay. Oh.

• 1:09:29Speaker 01

  First of all, I'm gonna read your menu back to you and you'll see how you feel about it, okay? So you would like still water bottled, very important is bottled.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  Puzzles of bread, you want flatbread or focaccia with rosemary? Starter, Scotch egg with homemade mayonnaise. Main course, smoky jollof rice with ayam asa, ayam asay?

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  Shea, ayam ashe.

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  Ayam ashe, plantain, coleslaw and mimo.

• 1:09:54Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:09:54Speaker 01

  Side dish, tender stem broccoli with rock salt, olive oil and garlic. Drink, alternate between margarita and a Tommy's margarita. Dessert, sticky toffee pudding with so much treacle sauce and custard.

• 1:10:07Speaker 00

  How do you feel about that?

• 1:10:08Speaker 02

  That's a beautiful menu. For the bread, can I add one thing?

• 1:10:11Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:10:11Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 1:10:12Speaker 02

  It could also be pandesal. A pandesal bread is, I think it's Filipino. There's this restaurant, Ramo in Soho. It's like Filipino ramen.

• 1:10:23Speaker 00

  I've been there, it's great. I really like that place.

• 1:10:24Speaker 02

  Oh, the pandesal, it's a fluffy bread that is just like.

• 1:10:29Speaker 00

  I don't think I had the bread, I should have had the bread.

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  Bread, yeah, get the bread next time. It is fantastic. It soaks up all any sauce that you can get your hands. And they put garlic and butter on it.

• 1:10:42Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:42Speaker 02

  It's high and it's soft. Pandesal. Yeah.

• 1:10:47Speaker 00

  Added.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  That's added to the menu, you got it. Pretty good menu. It's pretty delicious.

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  Do you think?

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, really good.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  That made me really hungry.

• 1:10:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:55Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:56Speaker 00

  I really like the Scotch egg into the jollof, into sticky toffee pudding.

• 1:11:01Speaker 02

  It's sort of like a British Nigerian fusion.

• 1:11:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:11:05Speaker 00

  But it just sounds really warming and filling and.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love a warm and filling meal.

• 1:11:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:11Speaker 02

  And just like you're chatting and laughing and you just feel like you might actually be all right.

• 1:11:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  You were worried you'd let people down today?

• 1:11:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  Do you feel like you have?

• 1:11:21Speaker 02

  I hope I haven't.

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  I don't think you have. I think we've let ourselves down.

• 1:11:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  And like, I think, you know, maybe there's gonna be a lot more complaints to the BBC after this.

• 1:11:32Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 1:11:33Speaker 00

  Whereas I think you were worried about letting down your ancestors.

• 1:11:36Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:11:36Speaker 00

  I think you've absolutely made them proud.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:39Speaker 02

  Yes, thank you so much.

• 1:11:40Speaker 00

  And I think how proud you've made Gordon Ramsay as well.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:43Speaker 02

  Thank you, Gordon. One day we shall discuss.

• 1:11:49Speaker 01

  Oh, that's the end of the sentence?

• 1:11:52Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:11:53Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:11:54Speaker 02

  One day we shall discuss.

• 1:11:56Speaker 00

  Thank you for coming to the dream restaurant, O Y D.

• 1:11:58Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 1:11:59Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:11:59Speaker 02

  This has been joyful.

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:12:02Speaker 02

  I've loved every second.

• 1:12:09Speaker 00

  I loved that episode, James.

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  Absolutely fantastic. I think we really got to know Iowa Day there for like absolutely every single aspect of her being.

• 1:12:18Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  Came through in that podcast.

• 1:12:19Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  Very spiritual at times.

• 1:12:21Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:12:21Speaker 01

  Obviously hilarious.

• 1:12:22Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:12:23Speaker 01

  Sometimes very serious.

• 1:12:25Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Very stern.

• 1:12:27Speaker 00

  And Scotch egg.

• 1:12:28Speaker 01

  I love Scotch eggs.

• 1:12:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  Absolutely love Scotch eggs and did not say Biscoff at any point. So we didn't have to kick about the dream restaurant.

• 1:12:35Speaker 00

  Imagine Biscoff Scotch egg. Wouldn't not like that.

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  Speak for yourself. If the egg was, if the egg was like, you know, Cadbury's cream egg and it was like covered in like a, like a marshmallow and then there was a Biscoff layer around the marshmallow and then it's covered in like digestive biscuit crumbs and then they deep fry that. I'll try that.

• 1:12:59Speaker 00

  They deep fry it?

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, got to deep fry it.

• 1:13:01Speaker 00

  You are mad.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:13:03Speaker 00

  You would try that?

• 1:13:04Speaker 01

  I'd try that.

• 1:13:05Speaker 00

  That'd blow your head off.

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 1:13:07Speaker 00

  That's too sweet for you even.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  No way.

• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  Cadbury's cream egg covered in Biscoff sort of sausage meat style and then.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  Marshmallows?

• 1:13:16Speaker 00

  No, no marshmallows.

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  I said, I said marshmallow.

• 1:13:18Speaker 00

  No, but I'm saying this is what I want. This is, I'm reducing the sugar. Biscoff around the outside.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:25Speaker 00

  And then rolled in toasted coconut for the breadcrumb style thing.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  Fucking hell, why don't you just go to a health spa, mate?

• 1:13:34Speaker 01

  Crikey.

• 1:13:35Speaker 00

  Don't forget to go and see Iowa Day on tour. The show is called Swings and Roundabouts.

• 1:13:40Speaker 01

  Award winning.

• 1:13:41Speaker 00

  Award winning show.

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  Edinburgh best newcomer.

• 1:13:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, you could hit out funny she is on this episode.

• 1:13:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:47Speaker 00

  That's just a taste of what she has to offer.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. She'll get you.

• 1:13:51Speaker 00

  She'll get you. Don't forget to watch this on YouTube as well. Subscribe to the YouTube.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I'd say in that episode, there was a lot of like, you know, acting out a lot of facial expressions. That you really got across.

• 1:14:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:04Speaker 01

  How much I really loves all those.

• 1:14:05Speaker 00

  The curl of the lip at Scotch egg.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  Needs to. It's worth it for that. It's worth it just for the curl of the lip.

• 1:14:10Speaker 00

  Thanks for listening to this. Obviously, even if you like, I've heard it, what do I need to watch it? Just go and put it on in the background or something. So we get another view.

• 1:14:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:17Speaker 00

  Because Benita said if the YouTube doesn't take off soon, he's going to take all his clothes off and run into the sea.

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, and sell his house.

• 1:14:23Speaker 00

  Like Reginald.

• 1:14:23Speaker 01

  Said he's got, he's got to sell his house.

• 1:14:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, said he's going to sell his house.

• 1:14:26Speaker 01

  He's got to sell his house.

• 1:14:28Speaker 00

  Then where's Toast going to live? Imagine poor Toast walking around London with a bindle.

• 1:14:32Speaker 01

  Oh, little Toast with a bindle just go around London.

• 1:14:34Speaker 00

  Well, not like that, even.

• 1:14:35Speaker 01

  Just because the YouTube wasn't watched enough.

• 1:14:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, even though he was really naughty yesterday.

• 1:14:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was naughty yesterday.

• 1:14:41Speaker 00

  Wouldn't leave me alone.

• 1:14:42Speaker 01

  Wouldn't leave that alone.

• 1:14:43Speaker 00

  Tripled on the side.

• 1:14:43Speaker 01

  Tripled on him.

• 1:14:44Speaker 00

  Thanks for listening. Bye.

• 1:14:45Speaker 01

  Bye.