More Blood Than You Can Drink

Cyrus the Great of Persia wanted to conquer the Massengetae people and, through cunning, he killed the son of their warrior-queen, Tomyris. It was a bad move. Support Noble Blood: —Bonus episodes, stickers, and scripts on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/noblebloodtales — Noble Blood merch https://store.dftba.com/collections/noble-blood — Order Dana's book, 'Anatomy: A Love Story' https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250840578/anatomyalovestory/and its sequel 'Immortality: A Love Story' https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250861016/immortalityalovestory/ See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 0:00Dana Schwartz?

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.

• 0:04Speaker 01

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• 0:37Dana Schwartz?

  Welcome to Noble Blood, a production of iHeart Radio and Grim and Mild from Aaron Mankey. Listener discretion advised. Imagine an ancient battlefield littered with the carnage of the aftermath of a great battle. One side has emerged as victorious and now the slow, arduous task of inventorying the corpses has begun. Time for the victors to take stock of what has been lost and what has been gained. But there's something unusual in this scene. A woman walking among the bodies. Judging by the way the survivors defer to her, it's pretty obvious that she's their

• 1:22Dana Schwartz?

  ruler. A warrior queen. In her hand, she clutches a bag, a simple wineskin made of leathered animal hide. At first glance, you might think she's brought libations to toast her army's victory, but you would be very wrong. In the bag is a severed head, and it's not the head of some random soldier. This head belonged to her sworn enemy, who also happened to be the most powerful man in that part of the world. That head, which once devised brilliant strategies and conquered dynasties,

• 2:02Dana Schwartz?

  was now reduced to sloshing around in a bag filled with the blood of his fellow fallen soldiers. If you're a little tired of "before he cheats" as a female rage anthem, I will direct you toward another innovator in the field of revenge. This is the story of Tomyrus, the warrior queen who brought down an empire builder, who avenged her son's death, and who made sure her enemy got exactly what she promised. It's also one of history's most spectacular examples of messing with the wrong woman. I'm Dana Schwartz, and this is Noble Blood.

• 2:49Dana Schwartz?

  The majority of what we know about Tomyrus comes from the writings of Herodotus, the Greek historian and geographer, writing in 5th century B.C. Herodotus is known as "the father of history" for an approach that combined rigorous documentation with cultural context and human observation. One important thing to note is that in terms of sources, Herodotus isn't exactly peer-reviewed. We're dealing with bias, and also the possibility of outright fabrication, given that we don't know where he got his information. And as with many ancient stories, this one would not pass the Bechdel test. But it's still a hell of a ride.

• 3:34Dana Schwartz?

  Little is known about Tomyrus's husband, only that he was king of the Massenghedi, a nomadic warrior tribe who lived for centuries around the steppes of Central Asia. The Massenghedi rode horses and worshipped the sun, and they were notable for their progressive views on women. It makes sense that when Tomyrus's husband died, she would take over the throne and rule the confederation in his place. In their world, a warrior queen was just as good as a warrior king. But to outside forces, that progress looked a lot like opportunity.

• 4:13Dana Schwartz?

  Cyrus II of Persia, or Cyrus the Great, as he's generally known, was an immensely powerful force in the region, and the architect of what would become the Persian Empire. He was a clever military strategist who won many challenging campaigns, and a voracious conqueror. Expansion at all costs was his primary objective. We can also probably imagine that he was a man who didn't like being told "no." After all, he overthrew his own grandfather to claim his throne. When Cyrus set his sights on the Massengedi, he saw opportunity.

• 4:56Dana Schwartz?

  The tribe lived on the other side of the Araxes River, and conquering their territory would set up the Persian Empire for even more expansion. The barbarian horse people with a female leader seemed like an easy target. Considering the campaigns he'd won in the past, Cyrus had no reason to doubt his success would only continue. He hadn't anticipated that the widowed warrior queen would turn out to be the most formidable opponent he had ever faced, the opponent who would lead to his ultimate death. But, as I said, to Cyrus, this whole thing seemed like a layup. Besides, he was single, Tomyrus was single,

• 5:41Dana Schwartz?

  they would get married, and Cyrus would get control of the Massengedi. It's an easy, non-hostile takeover. But Tomyrus saw through his plan and turned down his offer of marriage. And that's when things really started to head south. If you think men today don't like being rejected, imagine how well it went over with someone who collected empires like Pokémon cards. Cyrus would later be praised for a ruling style that actually employed a fair amount of autonomy among his subjects. But when it came to Tomyrus, he wouldn't take "no" for an answer. If he couldn't conquer the Massengedi by marriage, the easy way, he would have to do it the old-fashioned way.

• 6:25Dana Schwartz?

  Sources differ on whether or not Cyrus actually declared war on the Massengedi. But whether or not he made it official, when his army began building a bridge that would carry his men across the Araxes River and into Massengedi territory, there was no question of his intentions. Tomiris sent word to him, advising him to call off his attack, basically employing the "you do you and I'll do me" approach. But of course Cyrus was not content to let her be the one that got away. Instead, he decided to enter the territory and enter what we might call today the "F around and find out" stage.

• 7:10Dana Schwartz?

  After dismissing Tomiris's warning, Cyrus went to the root of many modern-day toxic men who blame not getting what they want on women "not liking nice guys." Although, a brief note: Cyrus was never a nice guy. But if Tomiris wouldn't give him her kingdom as a wedding gift, he would just have to take it by force. Cyrus was advised by others not to cross the Araxes and put his army in foreign territory. Instead, he was counseled to "let the Massengedi come to him," giving him the home advantage. That was sound reasoning, but he quickly discarded it.

• 7:50Dana Schwartz?

  At the time, Cyrus's most trusted advice came from an unusual source: Chrysus, the former king of Lydia, of "richer than Chrysus" fame. Chrysus actually became Cyrus's subject after the Persians conquered Lydia several years earlier. Despite defeating Chrysus in battle, Cyrus leaned on him for advice and appreciated the man's aggressively old-school stance on things like women in power. He wasn't a fan. Chrysus urged Cyrus to bring the fight to Tomyrus. Whether he was still stinging from the rejection of his marriage proposal, or just itching for a good fight,

• 8:34Dana Schwartz?

  Cyrus took Chrysus's advice and decided to attack the Massengedi on their own turf. Cyrus invaded, but after crossing the river, they were quickly defeated by Tomyrus's army. The Persian army retreated, and Chrysus helped Cyrus formulate a new plan, one that wouldn't rely on physical domination at all. Like other local tribes at the time, the Massengedi were milk drinkers. Their intoxicants of choice were cannabis and fermented mare's milk. They had no experience with, and therefore no tolerance for, wine. That inspired a diabolically clever maneuver

• 9:17Dana Schwartz?

  that would be the beginning of the end for Cyrus. According to Herodotus's account, Cyrus had a large banquet set up under Persian tents. It was a sumptuous feast with plenty of strong wine. Then Cyrus and his men withdrew, leaving the banquet intact, with the implication that surely the Persian army had quickly retreated and left all of their goodies behind. With that, the trap was set.

• 9:49Dana Schwartz?

  The Massengedi army, led by Tomyrus's son, came upon the tents and discovered what appeared to be an abandoned feast. Naturally, the warriors dug in and helped themselves to everything they found. The wine flowed freely, and the warriors soon discovered that they had no tolerance for this stuff. The entire contingent quickly fell into a drunken stupor. Little did they know that they had walked right into Cyrus's trap. As soon as the Massengedi were incapacitated, the Persian army descended. The previously fearsome warriors became sitting ducks, and they were quickly slaughtered by the invading army.

• 10:30Dana Schwartz?

  It was a brilliant plan that exploited the differences in their cultures and allowed for an easy victory for Cyrus. Tomyrus's son was taken alive, but he wouldn't remain that way for long. Once the young prince was able to sober up and realize what had happened to his fellow soldiers, the magnitude of the situation was clear. As it set in that he had led his men directly to their own slaughter, the shame became unbearable. Unable to picture a world where he could go back and face his mother, he took his own life. Other sources have Cyrus killing Tomyrus's son himself, but any way you look at it, the

• 11:12Dana Schwartz?

  blame for the young man's death rested squarely on Cyrus. Naturally, when Tomyrus found out what happened, her rage was all-consuming. She sent Cyrus a barn burner of a message that was the tonal opposite of her polite first warning. This one was: "Glutton for blood, your weapon was red wine, which you Persians drink until you are so crazy that shameful words float on the liquor's fumes. This was the poison you used to destroy my army and my son. Leave my land now, or I swear by the sun, I will give you more blood than you can drink."

• 11:54Dana Schwartz?

  Of course Cyrus did not retreat, and the warrior queen made good on her threat. What followed was an epically destructive fight between the Persians and the Massengedi, so brutal that it was described by Herodotus as "the fiercest battle among barbarians in the ancient world."

• 12:17Dana Schwartz?

  Fighting began at long range with bows and arrows. Then things got up close and personal with spear and dagger work that put on vivid display the full force of the Massangheti fighting prowess. The Massangheti didn't just defeat Cyrus's forces, they destroyed them. When the battle ended, Cyrus the Great himself lay dead on the battlefield. But Tomyrus wasn't finished. The warrior queen had one final move to make, and this one was grotesquely literal. She searched among the fallen Persian soldiers until she found Cyrus's corpse. She ordered his head to be chopped off.

• 13:00Dana Schwartz?

  Then she dropped Cyrus's head into a wineskin full of blood that had been collected from his men. As she did this, she cried, "Drink your fill of blood." Was dunking the dead king's head in his own soldier's blood overkill? Some might say yes, but the wrath of a grieving mother is not a thing to underestimate. Cyrus the Great, who had built an empire through conquest and clever strategy, met his end at the hands of a woman he had underestimated. Tomyrus proved that defying her warnings carried severe consequences, and that men didn't have a monopoly on rage.

• 13:45Dana Schwartz?

  I think we can all agree that in modern terms, carrying your enemy's decapitated head around in a wine bag full of his own soldier's blood is about as "f around and find out" as you can get. Little is known about Tomyrus's life following her victory over Cyrus, but her actions in that battle were enough to gain her a good amount of notoriety throughout the centuries. Tomyrus became part of a popular artistic theme of celebrating powerful female figures who triumphed over men. Women like Tomyrus, or like Judith, over Holofernes. Tomyrus was especially popular during the Renaissance, when European artists and writers

• 14:30Dana Schwartz?

  couldn't get enough of her story. They were, of course, especially fond of depicting the final gruesome moment with Cyrus's head and the blood-filled wineskin. One particularly notable work was a fresco by the Renaissance painter Andrea del Castagno, which was discovered in Florence in 1847. Among the nine larger-than-life figures portrayed, Tomiris stands proudly alongside literary giants like Dante and Petrot. The "partially worn" inscription beneath her feet celebrated two of her key achievements: avenging her son and liberating her people.

• 15:12Dana Schwartz?

  We can assume that showboating with her enemy's decapitated head was a third unspoken highlight. But Tomiris was not just a Renaissance fascination. Ancient writers couldn't get enough of her story either. She represented something unique: a woman who defeated the most powerful man of her time in battle. She was both a grieving mother seeking vengeance and a fierce warrior queen protecting her people. That duality made for an iconic figure whose legacy would stand the test of time. Today, Tomiris lives on across Central Asia. She's claimed as a national heroine by multiple countries, including Azerbaijan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, and regions of Western Turkey.

• 15:57Dana Schwartz?

  In those areas, the name Tomiris remains popular among young girls, a badass namesake and testament to her influence. Kazakhstan even issued coins bearing her image, cementing her place in modern cultural memory. As with many ancient historical figures, separating fact from legend in Tomiris's story can be challenging. But perhaps the exact details matter less in this case than what her story represents. She was a powerful woman who refused to be conquered, either by marriage or by force, who protected her people's sovereignty at all costs, and who proved that, when push

• 16:40Dana Schwartz?

  comes to shove, women can act just as unhinged and violent as men can. That's the legend of Tomiris, but keep listening after a brief sponsor break to hear a little bit about how a new discovery shed light on her story.

• 17:05Speaker 02

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• 17:53Speaker 04

  You know, a song is a story, and the verse is setting the scene. And for me, at least, it's allowing me to be personal and vulnerable with the audience, whether it's about my wife and I'm being vulnerable about her, or it's about, you know, my parents and I'm being vulnerable to them. And it's almost like a cinematic piece in a way where each song tells that beautiful story.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  It's gonna be one hell of a trip. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln Original Series on the iHeartRadio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Nile Rodgers, producer, songwriter, guitarist, and co-founder of the group Chic. A great song has a way of defining a moment, a moment of joy, heartbreak, or anything in between. This fall, I'll be driving across the country, dropping in on some of the coolest, most fascinating artists working today. We'll go deep into their lives and careers and hear what it was like before the moment that made them.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  From hitmakers like Miguel.

• 18:58Speaker 03

  That last year, finishing that record was the hardest experience of my life. Regardless of how everyone else buys into this, I believe in this and I'm gonna push.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  To rising stars like Alex Warren.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  You know, a song is a story and the verse is setting the scene. And for me at least, it's allowing me to be personal and vulnerable with the audience. Whether it's about my wife and I'm being vulnerable about her, or it's about, you know, my parents and I'm being vulnerable to them. And it's almost like a cinematic piece in a way where each song tells that beautiful story.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  It's gonna be one hell of a trip. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln Original Series on the iHeartRadio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 19:44Dana Schwartz?

  In 2010, an archaeological discovery in northern Kazakhstan sparked new interest in Tomiru's story. Researchers uncovered what they called the Golden Warrior Tomb, dating back to somewhere between the 7th and 4th centuries B.C. The burial site was a treasure trove containing a body adorned in gold and surrounded by more than 100 precious objects, including one ornate tiger griffin figure, bronze arrowheads, and decorated sword belts. Initially, experts identified the skeleton as belonging to a middle-aged man, but subsequent analysis has left the question of gender open.

• 20:26Dana Schwartz?

  Some have speculated that this could be the tomb of Tomiru herself, although that remains purely conjecture. What's particularly interesting is that this discovery isn't isolated. A similar Saka grave found in 2013 contained the remains of a tall woman, wearing a golden pointed hat and elaborate jewelry, proving that powerful women were indeed honored with magnificent burials in this region and era.

• 20:58Dana Schwartz?

  Whether or not one of those tombs belonged to Tomiris, it's undeniable that the power of her story lives on. The warrior queen of the Massangheti exists in a space between history and legend, fact and interpretation. But what remains across centuries and cultures is how irresistible that story is. What's not to love about a story of resistance, revenge, and, let's face it, the ultimate accessory? Here's a free idea for any fashion designers out there: a Tomiris handbag. Head not included.

• 21:42Dana Schwartz?

  Noble Blood is a production of iHeartRadio and Grim and Mild from Aaron Manke. Noble Blood is hosted by me, Dana Schwartz, with additional writing and research by Hannah Johnston, Hannah Zwick, Courtney Sender, Amy Height, and Giulia Malani. The show is edited and produced by Jesse Funk, with supervising producer Reema Ilkayali, and executive producers Aaron Manke, Trevor Young, and Matt Frederick. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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• 23:21Speaker 06

  This is an advertisement for Zolair, paid for by Genentech and Novartis. This is an iHeart Podcast.

• 23:27Dana Schwartz?

  Guaranteed Human.