Pod Insights No Such Thing As A Fish Little Fish: Full Body Botox About this episode Dan, James and Andy discuss YOUR facts, including avocado, almonds, Geese and Grace Kelly. James takes us on a hell of a Kentucky Derby ride. And we name eight more Friend of the Podcast fact custodians.
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Transcript 6,225 words · 10 speakers
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1:11 Speaker 02 Hi, everybody. Welcome to Little Fish. This is our weekly Audience Fact Show. We've done all of our facts. We've run out, and while we wait and think of some more, you've sent some in to podcast at qi.com. My name's Andrew Hunter Murray. I'm here with James Harkin and Dan Schreiber. Let's get into it. Who's got an audience fact?
1:29 Speaker 03 I'll join up with one. Yeah. Here we go. This is from Stephen Corcoran, and his fact is China defends its border, partly with geese. Okay, that's good. Yeah, so this is a pandemic thing. China's border with Vietnam, they were worried that people with COVID were going to come in through the border illegally, and so they hired a gaggle of geese, 500 of them, to stand guard and honk and bite at anyone who was coming through. Bite? They have teeth. Well, they've probably got a strong snap on their nip on them, though. They do. The Romans used guard geese. Well, this is the thing, guard geese. They're apparently way more efficient than most animals that we would use, like a guard dog. Police often- And use them in their stations.
2:12 Speaker 04 No.
2:12 Speaker 03 They do. They do. There's been examples in Brazil where they have used them in place of dogs because they have incredible eyesight. They have incredible hearing. They're extraordinarily territorial. Therefore, if a stranger comes in, they immediately sound the alarm. Unlike a dog who might, you know, if you're a burglar and you come in with a big old steak and you throw the steak, they get distracted with it.
2:32 Speaker 04 Right.
2:33 Speaker 03 You know, the classic way of.
2:34 Speaker 04 What if you throw a golden egg or something or something that distracts a goose?
2:38 Speaker 03 That's true. Well, that's the thing, because there's a question of how come then they don't sound the alarm if a police officer comes in, they say, well, they recognize the outfits and they see them as similar.
2:47 Speaker 04 Dress as geese.
2:48 Speaker 03 Yeah. Yes.
2:51 Speaker 03 But that's the thing. If you're going to rob a police station, which is ballsy, anyway.
2:55 Speaker 04 Yeah, they don't keep large amounts of cash in there normally.
2:57 Speaker 03 No, but they do keep a lot of confiscated items that they've taken. So someone tried to break into repossess their motorbike that was in there. So dress as a police officer, though, and you'll get past the geese.
3:07 Speaker 04 So can they recognize the police then?
3:09 Speaker 03 That's supposedly what they can.
3:10 Speaker 04 The geese police.
3:13 Speaker 04 Have they ever been used in warfare, geese?
3:16 Speaker 03 Good question. I imagine they have as guards.
3:19 Speaker 04 We did a question on QI, which is what use is a goose for the G series? And I remember we talked about the guard geese. And also that Rabelais said you could wipe your bum with a goose's neck.
3:29 Speaker 03 Of course.
3:32 Speaker 03 That's brilliant.
3:32 Speaker 04 Okay, shall I do one?
3:33 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:34 Speaker 04 Yeah. This is from Jeff Kennedy, and Jeff says that in the 1896 Kentucky Derby horse race, the winner came in seventh place. Riddle me this.
3:44 Speaker 03 Okay, so it has to be a post-match six disqualifications for whatever.
3:51 Speaker 04 Deaths, six horses died after the race. Yeah, but you would still win.
3:56 Speaker 03 They don't. They don't take an Olympian's gold medal back if they've died years later.
4:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
4:01 Speaker 03 Well, he's gone now. Who's remaining? You're now first.
4:05 Speaker 04 Yeah. The world's oldest lady, Jeanne Calmon, actually had all of the Olympic medals from 1896 by the end.
4:16 Speaker 03 Well done, Sedestra, then. Disqualifications. Yeah, there must have been, you know, dope.
4:20 Speaker 04 I'm afraid, dopes, you are wrong. The answer is the winner was the name of the horse.
4:28 Speaker 03 The winner was the name?
4:29 Speaker 04 He was called the winner. And he came seventh. Anyway, so I've read through every single competitor in every single Kentucky Derby since they began in the mid 19th century.
4:42 Speaker 02 Wonderful.
4:43 Speaker 04 And the 17th place horse in the 2016 Kentucky Derby was Oscar nominated.
4:48 Speaker 02 Is that the name?
4:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
4:49 Speaker 02 Okay, great.
4:51 Speaker 04 The winner in 1999 was charismatic. Sixth place in 1914 was surprising. Surprising was the name of the horse. The ninth place horse in 2021 was highly motivated. And the fifth place-
5:04 Speaker 02 Doesn't sound like it.
5:06 Speaker 04 And the fifth place horse in 1971 was unconscious. Wild horses came last in the Kentucky Derby in 2002. And once again came third in 1889. Once Again is the name of the horse. Don't Get Mad was the name of the horse that came fourth in 2005.
5:26 Speaker 02 Oh my God, you've invented your own Who's on First sketch, James.
5:30 Speaker 04 I'm a wild and crazy guy. Came fourth in 2007.
5:33 Speaker 02 James, this is your Palladium Show. You have to tour the country with this. It's just a good, like, hour of comedy you've got there. Amazing.
5:43 Speaker 04 Oh, that's it. That's my whole week. So when we do the show later, the actual show, I have no research.
5:48 Speaker 02 I can't tell a race. What race did that horse? Oh, that's stunning. All right, shall I do one?
5:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
5:59 Speaker 02 All right. This is a fact from Harry and Charlotte. A joint fact.
6:04 Speaker 04 Cool.
6:05 Speaker 02 Pretty cool.
6:06 Speaker 04 Well, I think one of them will have taken the lead.
6:08 Speaker 02 Probably.
6:09 Speaker 04 And the other one's just going on a bit of a ride.
6:11 Speaker 02 In fact, it begins with, my wife told me a fact. So here's the fact. What is almond extract made of?
6:20 Speaker 04 Is it almonds?
6:21 Speaker 02 It's not almonds.
6:22 Speaker 04 Is it Mark almond from Soft Cell?
6:24 Speaker 02 It's Mark almond. Very, very little almond extract is made with actual almonds.
6:30 Speaker 04 Is that true?
6:30 Speaker 02 It's crazy. It's made of peaches.
6:32 Speaker 04 Peaches?
6:32 Speaker 02 Yep.
6:33 Speaker 04 Oh, but they're, they're members of the almond family, aren't they? Or is it the way around? Almonds are part of the peach family.
6:38 Speaker 02 Well, basically, there's a stone in a peach.
6:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
6:41 Speaker 02 And inside that stone, there, there is a thing that looks like an almond. And apparently that's what they use to make almond extract, rather than actual almonds, says Harry. And I have some almond stuff in my home and I looked at it and it says, bitter almond oil. The vast majority of which comes from peaches and other fruits that are not almonds.
6:58 Speaker 04 But they have a bitter almond in it. A bit of, a bit of, no.
7:02 Speaker 02 Very good.
7:03 Speaker 04 Should have quit on the horse races.
7:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, basically almonds all start as a fruit. And so the thing which we think of as an almond nut is the seed of it. But actually, all droop seeds, this droop family of fruits, which are flesh on the outside and then a single pit inside, which has a seed. All, all droop seeds contain this chemical, benzaldehyde, which is for, for almond extract.
7:27 Speaker 04 Fakes like almonds.
7:27 Speaker 02 Very cool.
7:28 Speaker 03 I discovered the other day that rather than having to dig out the stone of an avocado.
7:34 Speaker 04 Oh, no.
7:35 Speaker 03 You just push it from the other side.
7:36 Speaker 04 Oh, right.
7:37 Speaker 03 Just comes right out.
7:38 Speaker 02 No, you don't.
7:38 Speaker 03 You swallow it whole.
7:40 Speaker 04 Well, no, there was a, there was a trend a while ago that you would hold the half of avocado in your palm.
7:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:46 Speaker 04 And then you would get a big knife and you would sort of smack the big stone with the knife. And then the knife would embed into the stone, you twist it and pull it out.
7:54 Speaker 02 All right.
7:55 Speaker 04 Pretty cool. I think it was before TikTok, but it was an internet trend. But like people said, you shouldn't do it because people are going to A and E, having missed the avocado.
8:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:03 Speaker 03 It's incredibly dangerous.
8:04 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:05 Speaker 03 Andy, pretty cool.
8:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's pretty, it is pretty cool.
8:08 Speaker 03 I mean, it would look pretty cool.
8:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:10 Speaker 03 You're right. Well, it turns out it's really simple. You just pop it out.
8:12 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's how I do it. Pop it out.
8:14 Speaker 03 Never knew that. I've always been digging away, like an archaeologist.
8:18 Speaker 02 You guys are not eating bits of the avocado?
8:21 Speaker 04 The stone?
8:22 Speaker 03 The stone, yeah.
8:22 Speaker 04 And the skin?
8:23 Speaker 02 Yummiest bit.
8:23 Speaker 03 Give that message, Lee.
8:24 Speaker 02 After the skin, of course.
8:25 Speaker 03 Well, if you never had it, it's like an everlasting middle class gobstopper. You know, you just.
8:30 Speaker 04 Do you know that story that there was like mega fauna in South America that was eating the avocados and then pooing out the stones? And we know they must have existed because avocados existed and they must have been propagated somehow. And there was no humans to plant them. So we know that this mega fauna existed.
8:49 Speaker 03 Wow. So they were the farmers?
8:50 Speaker 04 They were the farmers, yes, potentially. But now we know that Andy's eating the stones and presumably pooing them out as well. You are the mega fauna of the 21st century.
8:59 Speaker 02 It's a struggle sometimes, but.
9:01 Speaker 03 So when you're caught squatting in the park, you're just doing some farming.
9:05 Speaker 04 Anyone got a goose?
9:09 Speaker 03 Let's have another. Let's have another. Okay, this is from Jennifer Rowley. She says, I listened, I recently listened to the Little Fish episode where you talked about the Henley-on-Todd regatta in Australia. So this is the one where it's dry and it was cooled off because it rained and so it flooded.
9:30 Speaker 04 It's like a dry river, isn't it?
9:31 Speaker 03 It's a dry river. You run around in the bottom of it. Exactly. And it got cooled off because of water, basically. And it reminded me of another weather-related regatta fact that you might like. So the Canadian city of St. John's in Newfoundland and Labrador has a public holiday that only happens if the weather is nice. Regatta Day is the day of the Royal St. John's Regatta, which is scheduled for the first Wednesday in August. However, if the weather isn't good enough for rowing, then the regatta has to be postponed. And if it's postponed, the public holiday itself is cancelled. So this has led to a tradition called Regatta Roulette, where people stay out late partying the night before, gambling that they will have the next day off work.
10:14 Speaker 04 That's funny.
10:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, they love the regattas, by the way.
10:16 Speaker 04 That's really good.
10:17 Speaker 03 In Canada, there's the Windsor Pumpkin Regatta. That's where everyone hollows out a giant pumpkin.
10:22 Speaker 04 We've spoken about that.
10:23 Speaker 03 We have spoken about it.
10:24 Speaker 04 Like 10 years ago, we spoke about it.
10:26 Speaker 03 That's right.
10:27 Speaker 04 It's very exciting.
10:28 Speaker 03 Someone did the record largest pumpkin, I believe it was, that we spoke about. By the way, this is about a 200-year-old festival, this regatta. So as far as I can tell, COVID obviously knocked it out, but that's kind of, that doesn't really count because that knocked out everything. So 1940, it seems, to be the last time that they actually had to sort of lose the Regatta Roulette.
10:48 Speaker 04 Because of the weather?
10:49 Speaker 03 No, the war.
10:50 Speaker 04 Oh, so does that mean since then it's always been sunny enough?
10:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:55 Speaker 04 That's nice.
10:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, so apparently the roulette is not that risky. Oh, I'd play roulette with those odds. Yeah, exactly. Could be wrong.
11:01 Speaker 04 Because like in the UK, if you have any holiday, it's guaranteed to be pissing it down.
11:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's the way it works. I got, I found a really interesting regatta story about the Henley Regatta. Can I quickly tell it?
11:14 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:14 Speaker 03 Let's see if this works.
11:16 Speaker 04 Sorry, can I just say, is this the Henley-on-Thames or Henley in Australia?
11:20 Speaker 03 Henley-on-Thames in the UK. So there used to be a guy called John Brendan Kelly, and he applied to be part of the regatta. He was an American. And it's quite a posh event, the regatta, and he wasn't allowed in despite being a multimillionaire in America because he was a bricklayer that was seen as a labour job and he was not allowed to compete in it.
11:40 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
11:41 Speaker 03 So this really infuriated him and so he decided to enter the Olympics to row. And he won gold. In fact, he won it three times, the first person to win a triple gold.
11:53 Speaker 04 And was it all due to the pent up anger?
11:55 Speaker 03 He must have had a bit of fury to make a point to them. And so, you know, they were very apologetic and things changed for him. He was allowed to be part of.
12:06 Speaker 02 Why? Rules is rules.
12:08 Speaker 03 Well.
12:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, but you can bend the rules when you have a three time Olympian.
12:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, I suppose.
12:14 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:14 Speaker 04 It's like Steve Redgrave's allowed to wear trainers in a ritzy in Bolton.
12:22 Speaker 03 So he was this, he was this bricklayer, even though he was rich. And then you had, you know, this kind of royal regatta, which felt quite posh. Anyway, he has a few kids. One of them is called Grace, Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly becomes an actress and then goes on to become Princess Grace of Monaco. So he is the father of Princess Grace.
12:44 Speaker 04 Interesting.
12:45 Speaker 03 And as a kind of way of saying sorry, if you now go to the regatta in Henley, there is a Princess Grace Challenge Cup as a way of apologising. So he went from being not allowed to compete to now having his daughter be the name of one of the regatta.
12:59 Speaker 04 Yeah, interesting.
13:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
13:00 Speaker 04 Shove that in your boats.
13:01 Speaker 02 Shove that in your boats.
13:05 Speaker 04 Okay, here is a fact from Pav. And Pav wanted to share a fun UK tax fact.
13:11 Speaker 03 Ooh.
13:12 Speaker 04 And as a former accountant, I think, Andy, you thought I might be interested in this. Pav writes that the 1982 case of Maya Le versus Drummond established that while barristers are allowed to claim costs of wigs and collars, they cannot claim the cost of purchasing or cleaning suits as they fail the wholly and exclusively test because they have the dual purpose of providing warmth and decency. So in like if, let's say you have an expense, you could only claim it as an expense if it's just for your job.
13:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
13:45 Speaker 04 So if it's for something else as well, if you're going on holiday and you're like, oh, I'm going to do a TikTok video while I'm on holiday, you can't claim that because you're also on holiday.
13:53 Speaker 03 What? Oh dear.
13:56 Speaker 02 Okay, like, good joke, James, but it's, it's fine, right?
14:00 Speaker 04 Like, for instance, to, to pull another idea out of the hat, if you were to have a hair transplant, you can't claim it, even if you're in a front-facing podcast, which is video, you can't claim it because it's also, you need that hair in real life to keep your head warm as well.
14:14 Speaker 02 And provide decency. But if I was to, but my special podcasting hat that I wear every time that you guys are looking at now.
14:20 Speaker 04 Yeah, but if you, as long as you don't wear that when you're out clubbing.
14:23 Speaker 02 How could I wear this out clubbing, James? This is a ridiculous hat.
14:26 Speaker 04 Maybe if you win three gold medals at the Olympics, they might let you.
14:29 Speaker 02 But like, this hat is so stupid that obviously it's only for podcasting.
14:32 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I would say, like, the racist elements as well probably is why you wouldn't wear it outside.
14:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, it does feel awkward every time we make the pod that we have to look at that. Well, we should make podcasting great again, so carry on.
14:46 Speaker 04 There is no hat. People at home. In 2018, there was a case called Gemma versus HMRC, where an exotic dancer successfully argued that the cost of her outfits and shoes should be allowable because they provide neither warmth nor decency.
15:05 Speaker 02 That's great.
15:05 Speaker 04 It's a great fact, isn't it?
15:06 Speaker 02 It's really good. A good fact, yeah.
15:08 Speaker 04 Quite often, the tax offices, they tell you about claims that people have tried to make and whether they're allowed or not. So what do you think about Botox? Because you might say, well, you know, I'm on TV and I wouldn't have had Botox if I wasn't on TV, so it is because of that. But in actual fact, you get an advantage in your home life as well.
15:26 Speaker 02 What about, I'm a living statue and I've had full body Botox to allow me to do my work every day? You know what I'm saying?
15:33 Speaker 04 I suppose, like, if it has no advantage in your day-to-day life at all, which I can't imagine it would.
15:39 Speaker 02 Not at all. I'm, I've, I've, I've given myself full body freezing. Yeah. To just, just to do my work.
15:45 Speaker 04 You're aware that that's not exactly how they work.
15:47 Speaker 02 What, living statues? Yeah, sometimes I just paint themselves silver. Yeah, but those guys are hacks.
15:56 Speaker 02 No, the really good ones, you know, there's a guy, there's a guy just outside the Houses of Parliament, who has Oliver Cromwell, who's unbelievable. Every day, I've gone past him for years.
16:04 Speaker 04 Pitch and shits on him.
16:05 Speaker 02 Pitch and shitting on him. I don't know how he got up on that pedestal. He's bloody good.
16:09 Speaker 03 I wonder if any living statues got thrown into the rivers during that whole period.
16:16 Speaker 04 Guys, I'm a living statue of Colston, guys.
16:24 Speaker 05 Hi, I'm Jenna Oshkowitz. You might know me from Glee. This is At the Table, the food allergy podcast, a show about food, connection, and what it really looks like to live with food allergies. Each episode, we hear stories from real people like Daniel.
16:39 Speaker 06 People would always think I was lactose intolerant, so I just kind of shortened my explanation to I'm deathly allergic, in a big way that defined a lot of my childhood.
16:50 Speaker 05 And while there are challenges, there are moments that remind you you're not alone.
16:55 Speaker 07 One of the best guys that I dated, he made a point to memorize all my food allergies.
17:01 Speaker 05 So join us and hear their stories and more, because living with food allergies isn't just about what you can't eat, it's about still having your seat at the table. Brought to you by Genentech and Novartis. Listen to At the Table, the food allergy podcast on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow At the Table and start listening on the free iHeart Radio app today.
17:23 Speaker 03 Okay, I've got another one here. This is from Dan Paul Haskins, who says, my fact is that the lifestyle guru Martha Stewart says that when guests have overstayed their welcome, she tells them, I'm going to bed, I'll see you. If clueless guests stick around after that, Martha tells them, well, just turn off the lights and don't set off the fire alarm. Now, this doesn't read as true to me. I feel, I feel like Martha Stewart is someone who embellishes stories and just...
17:49 Speaker 02 Are you saying you've investigated this, Dan, and have you disproved it?
17:52 Speaker 03 No, I just don't know. I looked into see just what other things that she said quite randomly, anecdotally, to see whether or not it's true. So I'll give you my findings. One is that she claims to have been struck by lightning three times, which she said in an interview, she said, once it came out of my water faucet, I was leaning against...
18:08 Speaker 04 And we know that that's not true. That's...
18:10 Speaker 02 That's like a government assassination attempt or something.
18:12 Speaker 03 It is. Says, I was leaning against an iron sink, I saw the lightning go down the pipe out in my garden, and then it came back through the water and hit me right in the stomach, threw me on the floor, and my husband found me. I was alive, but not very comfortable. So that was one. She says that one came through the skylight in her house. And then she didn't mention in that interview the third time, but in an interview and chat with Snoop Dogg in 2016, she said another time it was while she was on the phone.
18:39 Speaker 02 Wow. Okay. Well, she's, she's clearly pitching for the would I lie to you gig.
18:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, absolutely.
18:44 Speaker 02 The Dan Shriver memorial anecdote.
18:46 Speaker 03 Yeah. Well, she also, she also, as we know, went to jail. That's kind of what she's very famous for in the States. She served time.
18:52 Speaker 02 So what she's famous for.
18:53 Speaker 03 She's very famous for going to jail. I think that's a defining moment of her career.
18:56 Speaker 02 She wouldn't have been famous for going to jail unless she'd already been famous for something else.
18:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's famous.
19:00 Speaker 02 The headline would just be random lady goes to jail.
19:03 Speaker 03 No, she was a famous person who went to jail, which amplified her fame globally, I would say. And she went to jail because she was charged with full cancer of obstruction of justice and lying to investigators about insider trading. So she served her time. She did home arrest and so on. Was very punctual to always call in if she was a minute late.
19:20 Speaker 02 Maybe that's why she was having these parties and saying, oh, I'm going to bed. It's because the ankle tag is beeping.
19:24 Speaker 03 Yes, it could be. But she, she has had consequences of going up to jail. One is she's not allowed to come to Britain. That's one of the consequences.
19:34 Speaker 02 Okay.
19:34 Speaker 03 The second one is that as a result of it, she was unable to participate in the Windsor Pumpkin Regatta in Windsor, Nova Scotia.
19:44 Speaker 02 Okay, but did she want to?
19:46 Speaker 03 She did. She was going.
19:49 Speaker 02 They have really strict criteria for entry. Anyone who's been involved in insider trading is just not allowed in those pumpkins.
19:54 Speaker 04 If you've been struck by lightning twice, you're fine.
19:58 Speaker 03 Three strikes and you're out.
19:59 Speaker 04 Yeah.
20:00 Speaker 03 She, she announced that her intention to be part of the regatta, she was flying over there. And then there was problems with her passports and being able to get there. Eventually she was allowed to make it, but it wasn't in time to be part of the regatta. Yeah.
20:13 Speaker 02 Cause there's a saying, three strikes and you're out.
20:15 Speaker 04 No, yeah, Andy, we got it.
20:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
20:17 Speaker 04 She was charged four times, wasn't she? Three times by the lightning and then once by the police.
20:24 Speaker 02 Oh. Well, what a Martha Stewart roast this episode has turned into. I'm staggered. I actually quite like her, but yeah.
20:32 Speaker 04 But you had to get us all the way to that regatta story.
20:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, you can't leave that on the table. Once you find it, you're like, I will drag these two across hell and high water. Yeah. What am I gonna do?
20:43 Speaker 04 It's funny, like, because Andy, when you did your three strikes and you're out joke.
20:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:47 Speaker 04 I was already in the frame of mind of Dan has a bit that he's trying to get to here, so I'm just gonna let him get to it.
20:55 Speaker 02 I see.
20:57 Speaker 02 You should have seen, you should have known. Crawling towards the finish line. Absolutely. I'm jungling over here. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you.
21:04 Speaker 04 Uh, Jan Gurdens says to stop patients from bleeding to death after heart surgery, doctors inject them with salmon sperm.
21:11 Speaker 02 Oof. Ooh. Hmm.
21:14 Speaker 04 It's a drug. It's called protamine, uh, and it's the specific antidote to reverse heparin, which is a blood thinner.
21:21 Speaker 02 Right.
21:22 Speaker 04 Uh, and yeah, they make it from milt, which is salmon and trout sperm. It's because it's protein.
21:29 Speaker 02 If you're in the wild.
21:30 Speaker 04 Can you get us?
21:30 Speaker 02 Can a doctor sort of just?
21:34 Speaker 02 Masturbating a salmon over you as you're laid dying.
21:38 Speaker 04 Um.
21:40 Speaker 02 Is that in your notes, James?
21:43 Speaker 04 I'm just trying to work out if it would work. I think you have to isolate the protein.
21:47 Speaker 02 Okay. But I don't. You can do that inside. You can, your body will sort that out.
21:51 Speaker 04 It's not, it's not gonna hurt.
21:52 Speaker 02 It won't make things worse.
21:53 Speaker 04 It will for the salmon.
21:58 Speaker 04 Imagine the story that salmon has.
22:00 Speaker 02 Yes.
22:01 Speaker 04 When he gets back to his flock.
22:04 Speaker 02 Wait till the guys upriver just passed that bear hear about this.
22:11 Speaker 02 Okay, that's enough of your facts. Now it's time for you to receive our facts. If you join our wonderful members' club, Club Fish, you will not only get ad-free episodes and lots and lots of bonus material, but at the highest tier, friend of the podcast, we will give you a shout out on the show and custodianship of your very own headline fact from Fish. Let's do a few of those now. Let's have one of our ceremonies. Let's have one of our ceremonies. Uh, James, give us a fact.
22:41 Speaker 04 Just gonna take the tiny curtain off this fact because now it belongs to Jennifer Stan Catty. And Jennifer, your fact is that until 835 AD, Halloween was on the 12th of May.
22:54 Speaker 02 Hmm.
22:55 Speaker 03 Ooh, a spooky date.
22:58 Speaker 04 It's a weird one though. I don't really remember the fact, I must admit, but um, one thing about Halloween is like the nights are getting much shorter, so it does have a kind of spooky feel to it.
23:07 Speaker 02 Oh yeah, it's a spooky time of year. The leaves are dropping.
23:10 Speaker 04 May is not spooky.
23:11 Speaker 02 May is not spooky.
23:12 Speaker 04 Lovely.
23:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, you're right. It's, this feels like probably Julius Caesar was to blame.
23:16 Speaker 04 Oh yeah.
23:17 Speaker 02 I just have a hunch, you know?
23:18 Speaker 04 He was well dead by 835 AD.
23:21 Speaker 02 Yes, yes, you're right. But he was inventing new months and mucking around. So I think he might have started this whole process.
23:27 Speaker 04 Do you remember what it was? It was your fact, Andy?
23:29 Speaker 02 Was it?
23:32 Speaker 02 It was a Roman thing.
23:34 Speaker 04 Okay.
23:34 Speaker 02 And this was an all, it was the All Hallotide Festival and it was in May. And then the church, it actually wasn't a spooky thing.
23:43 Speaker 04 Yeah. So All Hallows' Day is, it's basically All Saints' Day. So it's a special day where you.
23:49 Speaker 02 Commemorate the saints.
23:50 Speaker 04 Where you commemorate the saints. So Halloween would be the evening before that, but not necessarily pumpkin races and that.
23:57 Speaker 02 It was not a spooky thing. It was not, no one had invented the idea of dressing as a sexy cat on All Hallows' Eve. It just wasn't a thing. And then, uh, there was a theory that it was moved to autumn because in May, everyone went to Rome and then got malaria.
24:11 Speaker 04 Hmm, which is spooky. It can be, yes.
24:14 Speaker 02 It's scary.
24:15 Speaker 04 I'm going dressed as a sexy mosquito this year.
24:22 Speaker 02 Lovely. Great fact. Cool.
24:23 Speaker 04 Okay, Dan.
24:24 Speaker 03 Uh, okay. This one is going out to Jeff Spencer. Jeff, your fact is medieval witches used broomsticks to put hallucinogenic drugs up their bums.
24:34 Speaker 02 Gosh.
24:35 Speaker 03 Yeah. So this was, I got this, this was my fact. I got this from a Wade Davis book. Wade Davis is a anthropologist and he wrote a lot about this subject and he.
24:47 Speaker 04 I think it's controversial, would you say?
24:49 Speaker 03 Absolutely. Yeah.
24:50 Speaker 04 And is, is it all in with that kind of witches were actually people taking mushrooms and stuff?
24:56 Speaker 03 That's what this is. Absolutely. And I think we talked about this in the show, that this is a sort of controversial interpretation. But it is, it is a big. Theory of what happened. But you're not really flying. You're not really flying. You think you're flying because you've put the broom to cover your bum? Yeah, so you need an applicator for the hallucinogenic. The hallucinogenic is used on the end of a broom. The broom goes up because the best way of getting the best of a drug is-
25:19 Speaker 04 Is there room on a broom for a sexy cat like me?
25:24 Speaker 03 That's a joke that pre-parenthood you wouldn't have known to make.
25:26 Speaker 04 No.
25:28 Speaker 03 So the broom wasn't for flying on. The drugs were hallucinogenic flights of the mind, is the idea. Sure. Yeah. Here's another fact. This one is now forever and a day in the ownership of Ula Wu. And it's that the Rosetta Probe analysing a comet's smell has discovered it smells like rotten eggs, cat urine and bitter almonds. So when we say almonds. Now. I do of course mean bitter peaches. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
25:57 Speaker 04 That's amazing.
25:58 Speaker 03 Good, just a good space smell there.
26:00 Speaker 04 Yeah. Okay, here's one more. This one is now under the custodianship of Elaine Teenan. Elaine, your fact is that Sir Ranulph Fiennes, the oldest Briton to climb Everest, fears heights so much that he asks his wife to clear the gutters for him.
26:18 Speaker 03 What a convenient lie.
26:20 Speaker 04 He's also afraid of filling the dishwasher.
26:24 Speaker 03 Taking out the bins.
26:25 Speaker 04 In the basket, not near the basket, in the basket.
26:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, he's a, he's a crazy, crazy guy, isn't he Ranulph Fiennes? Mad, bad and dangerous to know.
26:36 Speaker 04 That's Lord Byron.
26:37 Speaker 03 Yeah, but that was what the, that was his first wife. I believe this is when she introduced Ranulph to her dad. That is how he was described. So it's the name of his autobiography. I don't want you ending up with.
26:48 Speaker 04 Mad, bad and always leaves the remote control in a place where you don't expect it to be.
26:55 Speaker 03 Okay, this is a fact that is going to Michelle Hagen. That is a Ryanair crew member recruited today could not possibly be the same height as one from the first cabin crew.
27:07 Speaker 04 Very good.
27:08 Speaker 03 Do you remember this? I do. This was Anna's fact and I remember the fact that you, you had to be a certain height for the original flights. I think it was quite a smaller height. Five two? Five two, yeah.
27:20 Speaker 04 And now if you were that height, you wouldn't be able to reach the lockers.
27:23 Speaker 03 Yes. I thought you had to be unfi- You'd need Ranulph Fiennes' wife to come in and-
27:28 Speaker 03 Put it in for you.
27:28 Speaker 02 You had to be under 5'2" for the first flights, I thought.
27:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:31 Speaker 02 And you have to be over 5'2" now. Got it, got it, got it.
27:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:34 Speaker 02 Yeah. Here's another one that goes out to Alexander Schwank, and it's that Steven Seagal is the only private citizen to dismantle a nuclear bomb.
27:46 Speaker 02 And when we say dismantle, I think he paid for the... Should we explain to young listeners what a Steven Seagal is?
27:51 Speaker 03 I think we should, yeah.
27:53 Speaker 02 Action...
27:54 Speaker 03 He was a mega action hero.
27:56 Speaker 02 Cut-price Sylvester Stallone.
27:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, but he probably... I think his movies did bring in box office, like Under Siege and so on. Like, there were big blockbusters and then he became a sort of director VHS kind of actor.
28:07 Speaker 04 And then he became a stooge of Vladimir Putin.
28:10 Speaker 03 Yes. And I think he's also a reincarnation of a llama. He's a...
28:15 Speaker 02 Buddhist llama?
28:16 Speaker 04 No one spits in your face.
28:21 Speaker 02 Well, Putin won't like that.
28:24 Speaker 02 Well, why is he getting a nuclear weapon dismantled then?
28:27 Speaker 03 So, this was listed on his website, and then when you looked into it, it was that he funded for one to be dismantled.
28:35 Speaker 04 But I think he is like, he's friends with Putin.
28:38 Speaker 03 Oh, very much so.
28:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, very much so. Does he live in Russia now? He moved to Moscow or something?
28:42 Speaker 04 I think he lives in Russia, yeah.
28:43 Speaker 02 Does he?
28:44 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:44 Speaker 02 Like Gerard Depardieu?
28:46 Speaker 04 Well, Gerard Depardieu did it for tax reasons, I think, mostly.
28:50 Speaker 02 Did he?
28:50 Speaker 04 Because it's flat-rate tax in Russia. Not that I've ever looked into it.
28:57 Speaker 02 There's a certain kind of actor who, when their career's a bit on the skids, they think, "I'll just go to Russia. That's the future."
29:04 Speaker 03 It's very like... I think Depardieu and Seagal are in a slightly birds of a feather.
29:08 Speaker 04 Are they?
29:09 Speaker 03 I think.
29:10 Speaker 04 Okay.
29:11 Speaker 03 It's a bit oddly.
29:12 Speaker 04 Which current-day actor do you think is next on the line?
29:15 Speaker 02 Ooh, what a great...
29:17 Speaker 03 I can't think of any more actors.
29:18 Speaker 04 Okay. He won't sue us.
29:23 Speaker 04 Okay. Here is one more from me today. This is a fact that is now under the custodianship of Aaron I. Officer. Your fact is that Viking names included Desirous of Beer, Squat Wiggle, Lust Hostage, Short Penis, Able to Fill a Bay with Fish by Magic, The Man Who Mixes His Drinks, and The Man Without Trousers.
29:49 Speaker 02 Wow.
29:51 Speaker 04 Bit of a long one.
29:52 Speaker 02 Well, not if you're Short Penis.
29:56 Speaker 04 This might have been a live show. Was it for the book festival?
29:58 Speaker 03 It was. We did it in the, um.
30:00 Speaker 02 The comedy book festival.
30:01 Speaker 04 Somewhere in Camden.
30:01 Speaker 03 It was in Camden, the Irish, um, centre in Camden. That's right.
30:06 Speaker 02 Yes. And we should say, when you, if you join, uh, as a friend of the podcast, you get a certificate with your fact on it. And I just want to say, we're really stretching the bounds of what the certificate can hold with your fact, Aaron. So I hope it's, I hope it's fit on there or we've used the right font.
30:21 Speaker 04 Yeah, sorry about that.
30:23 Speaker 03 I mean, guys, let's pick our, let's pick our Vikings. Who do you want to be?
30:25 Speaker 04 I love the man without trousers.
30:27 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
30:28 Speaker 02 I will go for, uh, able to fill a bay with fish by magic. I feel like that's me.
30:34 Speaker 03 Yeah?
30:34 Speaker 02 Yeah. I'm definitely squat wiggle.
30:39 Speaker 03 No one picked short penis, I see.
30:45 Speaker 03 Shall we have one more? Okay. Maddie Chandler, this is for you. You Only Live Once is the fourth autobiography by Katie Price.
30:54 Speaker 04 Wow. Has she done any since, do you think?
30:57 Speaker 03 I think she has.
30:57 Speaker 04 Has she?
30:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, I think she has.
30:59 Speaker 04 Because when would we have done this? Episode 35. So that would have been.
31:02 Speaker 02 Still 2014, I think.
31:03 Speaker 04 2014, yeah.
31:04 Speaker 03 Yeah. Um, yeah. So we were doing the book festival and this was a fact taken directly from one of the QI fact books. I think that was what we did.
31:15 Speaker 04 Oh, was that what we were pushing?
31:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, we were all taking one fact from that. And of that book, which had something like 1,200 facts, this was the one fact of mine that made it into that book.
31:26 Speaker 02 Well done, dudes.
31:28 Speaker 04 Are you still living off those royalties? One 1,339th of the royalties goes to you.
31:36 Speaker 03 Okay, that's it. Those are our facts going out to you. So congratulations to all eight friends of the podcast we've just covered. That's Maddie, Aaron, Alexander, Michelle, Elaine, Ulla, Jeff and Jennifer. If you would like to get your own fact or just to join Club Fish and get ad-free episodes and bonus stuff and so much more, it's so much fun on there. You can do that by going to patreon.com slash no such thing as a fish. Uh, that's it for this little fish. We'll be back in a few days with another big fish. But until then, it's bye from these guys.
32:07 Speaker 02 See you, guys.
32:08 Speaker 04 Bye, guys.
32:09 Speaker 03 And it's goodbye from me. Bye.
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