Little Fish: Really Siding With The Baddies

James, Andy and Anna discuss YOUR facts including huge holes and dangerous materials. James and Andy argue over a TikTokker who doesn't exist. And we name eight more Friend of the Podcast custodians. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com http://nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish http://apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon http://nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon Edited by James Harkin Produced by Leying Lee Team includes Jack Chambers, Tara Dorrell, Joe Mayo and Ethan Ruparelia

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:38Speaker 02

  Hi, everyone, and welcome to this episode of Little Fish, the podcast from the makers of Big, No Such Things as a Fish, where we draw away our facts and we look at the fantastic facts that you guys have been sending to [email protected]. Andy has gone through the inbox and he's picked the very choicest of plums and thrown them in our faces, and we will now regurgitate them for you. So.

• 2:05Speaker 03

  This is horrible.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  That's the problem with stats in a sentence where you don't know where it's gonna go.

• 2:13Speaker 03

  I hear ya.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  Who's gonna chuck a plum my way?

• 2:16Speaker 04

  Can I vomit up a little something?

• 2:18Speaker 02

  Yes, please.

• 2:18Speaker 04

  Because it's related to actually last week's episode of Little Fish. It's about Shaggy. Oh, I remember all that time ago, we talked about the similarities between Shaggy and Poirot.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  So much has happened in those seven days.

• 2:30Speaker 04

  I know, it seems like a year ago.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:33Speaker 04

  Um, you're wearing the same clothes though.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  Yes, I've actually changed my baseball cap so that people looking at video will think it's a different day.

• 2:41Speaker 04

  Oh, right. Sorry, I know I've just exploded the fiction. Um, well, this is from Don Wilson. And Don Wilson says, last night I was re-watching Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, in fact. And I was reminded of a strange coincidence. Shaggy from Scooby Doo's real name is Norville. Norville Shaggy Rogers. So Norville's the character's real name. Shaggy, the music artist, his real name is Orville.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Is that right?

• 3:07Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Norville and Norville.

• 3:09Speaker 04

  Norville and Orville, the only two Shaggies we know, Norville and Orville.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  That is amazing. I didn't know what Shaggy the Artist's real name was.

• 3:16Speaker 04

  No, I actually didn't know either, but everyone else seems very well versed in Norville being Scooby Doo.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  They come up in quizzes all the time.

• 3:23Speaker 04

  Do they?

• 3:24Speaker 02

  They do.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  There we go, Norville and Orville. And what is Scooby Doo but a crime-solving bunch of people? As is Poirot, who, as previously discussed, is very similar to Shaggy in ways we mentioned last week. So.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Where are you going with this?

• 3:37Speaker 04

  It's all come full circle.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Well, back where I started, I suppose.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Does anyone else, can anyone else join this group? Torville, I suppose.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Torville Dean, yeah.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Christopher Torville or Jane Torville?

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Jane Torville and Christopher Dean.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  Jane Torville, the, for our international listeners, you'll know who they are.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Also Orville the, um, the duck from I Wish I Could Fly, Right Up To The Sky But I Can't.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  Is that, are we saying the duck before Orville Wright?

• 4:03Speaker 02

  I think Elville the Duck was named after Orville Wright.

• 4:06Speaker 04

  Right, okay, okay. But it's good that the duck is the first one now that comes to the people's heads.

• 4:10Speaker 02

  Certainly my head.

• 4:11Speaker 04

  Sorry, guys. Um, very good.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Here's one. This is from Cameron Smith. Uh, who recently went to Train World Brussels, which looks stunning, by the way, I've looked it up. But there was an exhibit in Train World Brussels on Belgian inventors who contributed to the world's steam locomotives.

• 4:30Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  And one such example of an invention was flame tubes. And those are the ducts that guide the steam close to the fire, right? To superheat the steam inside an engine, you know, you need to heat it up and up and up. So you have a, you have a tube that goes near, a flame tube that goes near it.

• 4:47Speaker 04

  And what are they called?

• 4:48Speaker 03

  Flame tubes.

• 4:48Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Um, well, really they're more flam tubes because they were invented by an engineer called Jean-Baptiste Flam.

• 4:55Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, but they're not named after him. That's just a coincidence, right? Or are they?

• 5:01Speaker 03

  Cameron doesn't relate.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  What?

• 5:04Speaker 03

  It's, it's close enough, I thought that.

• 5:05Speaker 04

  Is it?

• 5:06Speaker 03

  Well, Cameron says it thinks so, and I'm, and I'm backing Cameron.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  So Cameron thinks they're named after flam, even though they're called flame?

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:14Speaker 04

  So they're calling him.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Well, they might be flam tubes. The thing is, it's all translated, like, there's very little information on these tubes in English. Which is annoying. But in Belgium, Cameron also, I believe, went to see a big hole in the ground, the Hooj Crater, which is named after the nearby village of Hooj. Isn't that good? Cameron says this opinion isn't nearly as good as flam tubes, but if we're ever going to get enough for a book, some are going to be better than others. And I think these guys would disagree with you there, Cameron.

• 5:41Speaker 04

  I hard disagree, Cameron. That's why, that's why you're not up here with us, I'm afraid. The huge holes, you've got to live with that.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Can I just ask, Andy?

• 5:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  These things, which are taking over our lives, can we just keep them in one box? Like either Little Fish or Jewel. Because at the moment, they're in two thirds of our out pot is largely these things. And I'm sure the only reason they haven't been in the big show is because you haven't thought of any.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Um, do you know, that's really fair. Which would you rather they were in? Little Fish or Drobosaline?

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Which do I listen to least often?

• 6:20Speaker 04

  You know what, you should be like me and only listen to the rest is politics because they never mention these.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  They've got no juice at all on this game. No, no. Okay. Thank you, Cameron. I loved it.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Uh, here is a fact from Sarah Nordmark. And they say, I hope you haven't heard this one before. I have not heard this, Sarah, or Sarah, actually, but it's S A R A. The American mathematician R. H. Bing did not have actual names for his initials and was just called R. H. When Bing applied for a visa, he was told that initials would not be accepted. He explained that his name was R. Only, H. Only Bing and received a visa made out to Honley Ronley Bing.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  That's very good.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  How can he not have, did his parents name him R. H.? They did. His father was called Rupert Henry Bing. So he's basically been named after his father, it appears.

• 7:16Speaker 04

  Right.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  But they've not taken the actual names.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  That's really interesting. I've never heard that as a name custom before. That's cool.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  I was reading about Professor Bing and one cool thing I read about him, he sounds like a bit of a fun character. And he was driving a car with a bunch of students in his car and he was driving 200 miles away. So it's a long, old drive, but there was a load of like teenagers in his car. So the car gets really, really steamy and all the windows start to steam. And while he's driving, he uses the windows and the steam to write out equations and does a lecture for the students in his car.

• 7:55Speaker 04

  What? While he's driving?

• 7:57Speaker 02

  While he's driving.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 7:59Speaker 04

  That's got to be banned somewhere in the highway code. There's got to be, you're not allowed to write equations.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  They haven't thought of everything.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  His last lecture. Um, but maybe I suppose on these roads across bits of America where they're very long and very straight. And you just, you'd like drive this, this way for 10 hours.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  He's from Texas, so it is just straight roads everywhere, isn't it?

• 8:17Speaker 03

  Wow, that's very cool.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:19Speaker 04

  I wonder if he's right-handed, you'd be, because they drive, they have their wheel on the left, don't they?

• 8:23Speaker 02

  They do. Yeah.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  So that, okay. So he's doing it with his right hand. So that's better.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, maybe, yeah.

• 8:29Speaker 02

  That's, that's what he said to the officer. A right-handed officer. It doesn't make any difference.

• 8:35Speaker 04

  So cool. Is it my turn?

• 8:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  That's my turn. This is from Stephen. Hi everyone. Stephen here from Melbourne, Australia. We know where Melbourne is, Stephen. Um, no, there is a Melbourne just near London, actually, so.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  There's probably one in Canada, probably loads in America.

• 8:50Speaker 04

  Yeah. The first shots fired by the British Empire in World War I were in the southern tip of eastern Australia. I didn't know about this. As far away as you can get from Europe, he said. So it was a warning shot from, and he specifies the gun, a six inch Mark VII gun at Fort Neppi in Victoria and August 5th, 1914. And it was because Britain had just declared war on Germany. And at the time, I think there was a ship, the SS Fals, a German merchant steamer that was just, um, hanging out nearby. And as soon as Britain declared war, they called the Australians, like, we've declared war. Have you got any Germans nearby that you need to shoot out? And they were like, actually, yeah, there's this steamer here. Shall we shoot at him? And they did. And he surrendered straight away. And there we go. Australia won the war.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  That was the end of the war.

• 9:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  They could have called it, called an end to it there, couldn't they? Just like.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. Like who calls an end to it though?

• 9:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  Like, that's the thing with wars. You can't just shoot one thing and go, okay, that's it. Cause the other guy's gonna.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  I'm retiring undefeated from this war.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  Um, I got a fact, this is another, um, military one. In fact, it's from Jason Spearomilio. And it's that, uh, the USA didn't have an air force during the Second World War, which I find extremely funny as a fact.

• 10:02Speaker 04

  Sorry?

• 10:03Speaker 03

  The US Air Force was established in 1947.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  What planes were they using before that?

• 10:07Speaker 02

  Was it just a different name?

• 10:08Speaker 03

  The army had a great deal of planes. I will say that.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  That is interesting though.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  It's the US Army Air Force is what it was.

• 10:16Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  So it's, and basically at the start of the First World War as well, the American military had eight planes.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do know that.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  It was basically, I think, was it that France had like almost all the planes in the world at the start of the war? And then by the end of the war, everyone else had taken over and.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  That's true. France had something like 30 or 40 planes at the start of the war. And that was more than America and Britain and Germany and loads of other countries combined. It was amazing. No, but, um, in the Second World War, they did have 63,000 planes by the end of the war, but they were just the US Army Air Force. So it's a bit of a technicality, Jason. I loved it.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Here's one, speaking of World War II, the most flammable substance ever made is so evil, even the Nazis gave up on it. This was sent in by Baye, and basically it is a material called chlorine trifluoride, which is incredibly, incredibly flammable. In fact, if you just get water on it, it's just gonna explode. And they tried to use it, the Nazis tried to use it as a flamethrower, but unfortunately what happened was whoever was carrying it around would end up being set on fire as well.

• 11:26Speaker 04

  So wait, how was that fact framed by the person that was too evil even for the Nazis?

• 11:31Speaker 02

  So evil, even the Nazis gave up on it.

• 11:33Speaker 04

  Okay, because it sounded like it was gonna be, well, they weren't as bad as you think, but it was just that they kept blowing up their own people.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, I don't think that's what we should take away from that.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  I don't think that's what Baye was saying.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  No, this stuff is incredibly flammable.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. Now, they still don't use it in much things at all, even in industry or anything, but apparently it works well at clearing uranium residue off the walls of nuclear power plants.

• 11:57Speaker 04

  What a fun place to be when that's happening.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  Well, I may be in this old nuclear power plant, but at least I've got the most dangerous substance in the world on me.

• 12:09Speaker 04

  Okay, here's one from Masha Levine, who says, she does a book plug, she says, I've just read Zoe Schlanger's incredible book, The Light Eaters, and she recommends it so highly that I thought I'd share that. She said, I should have copied and pasted the whole thing because it's so full of amazing facts. And then she says, I'm gonna give you two facts I loved, but there's only one here, which I imagine is a copy paste error from Andy rather than from Masha.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  Okay. Maybe I just thought there are reasons of time and space and we can't get into all the facts, I'm sorry to both of you.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  Okay. You probably should have cut off that clause from the sentence as well then.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, I feel like I should have cut the whole email, given how much trouble it's got me into with that as digressions, but okay.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  She says, "The bochila trifolio lata, which is a Chilean jungle vine, can alter the shape, colour and size of its leaves to mimic nearby plants. And a single plant can mimic nearby, like multiple nearby hosts, and it's incredible." So I've looked at pictures and it's, it's kind of like someone in a bit of a shit disguise. As in, you'll see the leaf, as a human being, I think you see the leaf that's the real thing, and then you see the mimic, and it's trying to be like that. But even so, well done for trying. It's amazing.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  But does it, so it doesn't look that much like it?

• 13:20Speaker 04

  It does look enough, so let's see.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  And leaves all kind of look quite similar, don't they?

• 13:24Speaker 04

  Oh, James. Leaf community, if you're listening, write in to podcast at q i dot com.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Write to James personally, please. I'm not sifting through 53,000 angry emails from leaf peepers. No way. I think a fan of leaves are very varied. Okay, we, yes.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  Variegated, you mean?

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 13:40Speaker 04

  We don't know how they do it.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  But did you say different bits of the plant can look like different nearby other plants?

• 13:48Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:49Speaker 03

  How that is cool.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  Amazing.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  If I could disguise my left arm as an elephant's trunk and my right arm as a tiger's nose, or whatever.

• 13:56Speaker 04

  You'd be an old place.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  But I'd be, you'd be, you'd be, you know, you'd be blending in with everything around you.

• 14:02Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  I disagree. I think the tigers are gonna say, "Who's that weird guy with an elephant trunk?" And the elephants are gonna say, "Who's that weird guy with a tiger's nose?"

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're right. I'm being eaten or trampled either way.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Here's a fact about leaves, which I often think everyone's gonna know it, but then you tell people and they don't really know it. You know holly?

• 14:22Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  So it's spiky, right? If you go to the top of the holly plant, it's not spiky anymore.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yes.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  It's not spiky.

• 14:30Speaker 04

  It's amazing.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  They're only spiky, they're only spiky at the bottom. Isn't that cool?

• 14:34Speaker 03

  Because that's where they need to defend themselves.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Like now, when you're walking home, if you see a holly plant, and they are around, you'll see it's spiky. Look up at the top, not spiky.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  And if you want to avoid being jammed, just walk on stilts.

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• 15:03Speaker 06

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• 16:17Speaker 03

  Here's one from Lindsay Lee from Nashville. Pretty cool. Lindsay has written in about a paper that she's heard about, which is headlined "The Cultural, Social, and Ideological Role of the Hat in Early Modern England", from the Historical Journal. And it's apparently a brilliant paper, A, because it's authored by someone called Bernard Cap, very good and a bit of non-determined, but secondly, because it just tells stories about the insanely important roles that hats used to play. So do you remember we talked about President Madison?

• 16:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  James Madison.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Smallest president.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  And he couldn't leave the house for two days once because someone had taken his hat.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Took his hat, yeah. He left it at the window.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  So this, this is part of the paper is that appearing hatless was just unbelievably slovenly.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  I just can't believe, like, we came here today and you two aren't wearing hats. It was literally the first thing I thought of when the mics came on today. I was like, those two.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  Slovenly.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, Slavens. So there was a bloke called Thomas Elwood, who was a teenager in 1659. And like all rebellious teenagers, he wanted to go and join the Quakers. But his father wanted to stop him, right? And couldn't think of any way to stop him. Kept trying, kept banning him, kept forbidding it. And eventually had a brainwave and thought, I'll just confiscate all of his hats.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  That's amazing.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  And Thomas Elwood, the young man, wrote, he couldn't go out unless I would have run about the country bareheaded like a madman. Like, people would think you were seriously ill if you didn't have a hat on.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  It's like stealing someone's trousers.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  It pretty much is.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  That is incredible.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. And Lindsay just includes one more story because it's full of ribald anecdotes about hats, this paper.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  Ribald ones?

• 18:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, ribald, I'll say. Well, judge for yourself. In 1747, a Wiltrman admitted snatching a rival's hat, pissing in it and clapping it back on the victim's head.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  That's good. That, these days, that guy would be a TikToker. He would just go around doing that to everyone and would have 10 billion followers.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  He'd have done it once and he'd have got so many followers that he now has to rename himself the Hat Piss account. And now his whole life is wrecked, basically forever. He's made a lot of money, but he's only missed a hat piss from then on.

• 18:31Speaker 02

  I can't believe he's the victim in this entirely fictional thing that we've just come up with. You think that the person who's pissing in hats and putting it on people's head is the victim?

• 18:40Speaker 03

  I think he's the victim of the internet. He could have been so much more, right? He's got a thriving, you know, he wants to make like proper short films and stuff, I guess. But instead, he's so pop, Hat Piss.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  I think he's a pervert. I think he likes pissing in hats and the fact that the internet's here is just a coincidence.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  I think the internet is enabling the worst elements of this young man.

• 19:00Speaker 04

  Yeah. It would have been a silly teenage prank. He got detention for it, you know.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  But instead, he's now dealing with a huge Chinese brand to do merch, Hat Piss merch, which is going to sell out across the Hat Piss stadium tour, where he'll piss in all of your hats.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  And then probably like a new fashion for hats that look a bit like Siv's. The people can't listen.

• 19:19Speaker 03

  Exactly. Yeah, yeah. I think that is a bit of a mantra. I know this guy doesn't exist, but I do think that's a tragedy.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, we disagree, I'm sorry to say.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  I think I probably wouldn't have joined the Historical British Earthworm Society were it not for this show, do you know, or the Wallpaper History Society.

• 19:36Speaker 04

  And you're saying that's a tragedy for you?

• 19:38Speaker 03

  Well, in a sense, I am Tony Hapess, you know what I mean?

• 19:40Speaker 02

  I just so disagree. If we didn't have this show, we wouldn't know that you'd join them. That's the only thing.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  It's a tragedy for us, actually.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Honestly, if you went around pissing in people's hats rather than joining these stupid societies, I think that would be a better use of your time.

• 19:57Speaker 03

  Well, look out, James, because there's only one hat in this room. And we've been recording for a while.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  Oh dear. Okay, I think we should move on to the second part of today's show. And that is where we bestow custodianship of some of our best facts to some of our best listeners. Like all of you, you're all great listeners, but some of them have managed to financially boost themselves towards the top of our ranking.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  Some of you have ponied up, and we love all of you.

• 20:28Speaker 02

  Thank you, Andy. I didn't know where that sentence was going either. So who has got a fact that we can give custodianship of?

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Michelle Handgraf has joined Clubfish at Friend of the Podcast here, which I think is what you meant, James.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Did I not say that?

• 20:42Speaker 03

  I think. You may have done. Michelle Handgraf, you are now the custodian of the fact that Al Qaeda's job application form, quite a spicy fact this one, includes a question asking who should be contacted in the event that the applicant becomes a martyr.

• 21:00Speaker 03

  Well, do you know what? I screen all of the headline facts to make sure, and some of them I've removed because they're a bit too strong or a bit inappropriate. I think that one was probably a borderline case for me.

• 21:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, it feels like it. This was the fact where we were all quite worried, I think, that our search histories would be problematic if ever MI5 got our computers, because we all had to search for Al Qaeda stuff.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  And I just remembered, this is the one where I Googled "apply to join ISIS", because I was looking for the application form. But in the eyes of the law, that's the same, isn't it?

• 21:35Speaker 02

  Well, I know, you can't say, "Oh, guys, guys, all I was doing was looking for the application form."

• 21:39Speaker 03

  I know, yeah. That's worse trouble.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  A terrorist has been found running around London pissing in people's hats.

• 21:49Speaker 04

  Their budgets have been cut, aren't they outsiders, since the early 2000s?

• 21:54Speaker 04

  Here's one for you, Guy Swarbrick. This is the fact that the single biggest expense in the computer game Lego Universe was hiring human moderators to make sure people weren't building Lego penises.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Brilliant.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  Very much a fact of its time, because I bet AI could do that now.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  No, that's going to be the last one to fall for AI.

• 22:15Speaker 04

  It'll be the only thing humans are doing.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  It'll be the resistance against the machines. Suddenly there'll just be little Lego penises popping up all over the country.

• 22:26Speaker 04

  Oh, that's a film. That's a film to be made.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  That's very funny.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  That's very funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:32Speaker 02

  Okay, here is a fact that is now under the custodianship of Tom Adilo. And Tom, your fact is that the man who inspired the main character in Jurassic Park is now building a chickenosaurus. Surely not still.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  They are still working on all sorts of nonsense like that, aren't they? Like getting a woolly mammoth and getting a woolly rhino.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, very much from the back of my head. But I think like in the last two weeks, they've invented artificial eggs where they've managed to hatch chickens out of them.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  And they do think that this could be the first step to getting a dodo or whatever.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  Yes, a great hawk.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  Great hawk, yeah.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  Oh, which would you go for?

• 23:12Speaker 03

  I'd go for a great hawk.

• 23:13Speaker 04

  Would you?

• 23:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  Because it's got great in it.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  It's just a cool bird. It's the first thing I ever researched when I got a job at QI.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  Is it? The thing about penguin, like penguins, doesn't their name mean great hawk or something?

• 23:22Speaker 03

  That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they were the original penguins. But they're just a beautiful bird that went extinct in the 19th century.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  Passenger pigeon I'd go for.

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. Hmm. So you could get easy transport from your house to here. Oh, no, they don't take people passengers, do they?

• 23:37Speaker 03

  That's carrier pigeon you're thinking of, yeah. And you need a lot.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Here's one that goes out to Katrina Lurie. And it's that in the 1840s, London buses had straps attached to the driver's arms that you would yank if you wanted to stop.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  Really good.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  Bring it back.

• 23:58Speaker 03

  That was the bell, I guess. You press the bell, except it just yanks that. It feels dangerous, doesn't it? It feels like it would yank the driver's arms, because presumably he's dealing with the horses.

• 24:06Speaker 04

  It does, but he's riding one-handed, like any cool driver knows he should do.

• 24:11Speaker 04

  Okay, my turn. This is a fact for someone whose name is Just Killing Time.

• 24:18Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 24:19Speaker 04

  Just Killing Time. Kill time with this, baby. In 2015, Margaret Atwood finished a novel which will not be published until the year 2114.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Brilliant.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 24:30Speaker 04

  And this is, is this a few of them? They've written their future novels. There are a few famous authors who put it in this box. We imagine they're all crap, aren't they?

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Did they not put them in a forest somewhere or something? Or am I thinking of something else?

• 24:40Speaker 03

  I think maybe the forest had been planted and it's going to, the paper from that forest will be used to the books in 100 years. So it's a nice way of having a forest. Again, I'm going off memory. 2114 felt a long way away in 2015. Now I'm thinking, yeah, I'll get there.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  Well, it's only, it's 90 years as opposed to 100 years.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  And you know you have aged 10 years since then.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  70, 90 years away. What am I now? 38? Yeah, I'll get there.

• 25:05Speaker 04

  Right, yeah.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  The Jean Calment of the podcasting world.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  Okay, here is a fact now, under the custodianship of Zan, Z-A-N. Zan, your fact is that Japan is considering installing toilets in its lifts.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  Long drop.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  What?

• 25:27Speaker 02

  What an unusual fact.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was one of mine.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  It's not the whole country.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  I think maybe they were having a problem with earthquakes hitting and people getting stuck in a lift for a long time. And so it's better, it's obviously better if there's a loo in the lift. It's best of all if you don't need to use it. You know, the best lift loo is one you never have to use.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  That's true. Do you think, you know, when you're in a lift with a bunch of other people and someone farts and everyone's like, who farted? Like, if someone's having a shit, I think that's harder to hide.

• 25:59Speaker 04

  But where does it go? Does it go into a storage box? Do they have incredibly complicated plumbing to, we remember, that sort of stretches and contracts with the lift?

• 26:05Speaker 03

  I think it must be, this is, look, this is an emergency thing. This is not designed to be plumbed into the buildings thing. There'll be a small poo box.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Had you just been to Japan when we did this fact, do you think?

• 26:17Speaker 03

  I think I must have been, yeah.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  I think you would use it because they'd be a novelty. That's the danger is that everyone who got in a lift would immediately want to use the toilet.

• 26:25Speaker 03

  There's got to be a system where you, the toilet only pops out of the wall if the lift gets stuck.

• 26:29Speaker 04

  Good. Yeah, good point.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Because then, otherwise, you're right, you're asking for trouble.

• 26:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  I don't think that, I don't know if they ever ended up doing this. Considering is a very weasel word to put into a headline fact, I'm sorry about that.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  Yeah. I've completely blanked this out.

• 26:42Speaker 03

  Doing this, yeah, yeah.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  I think I blanked it out because I have a phobia of lifts and the only thing that sounds worse than a stuck lift is a stuck lift where now people are just shitting in a box in the corner.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  I still put my, when I'm going around with my...

• 26:55Speaker 03

  What is this gonna be?

• 26:56Speaker 04

  This is not, it's not, and there's no poo involved, but I always, when I need to get a lift, like at a station, sometimes I'll have a pram because I have a baby in it. And the baby needs to go in the pram because I don't want to get them out. So I put the baby in the pram and I usually ask a nice looking person, I think I've said this before, a nice looking person to go up in a lift with the baby and then I'll meet them at the top of the stairs. And I have to do it whenever I go get home because my station, I need to get over to the other side.

• 27:19Speaker 02

  So, so can I just say, the thing you're worried about with the lift is that it might break down. But if it breaks down with your baby in it and you on the outside, that's fine.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  No, it makes me sound like a selfish mother, but I think my argument would be that logically I know it won't break down. It's just a phobia and I don't have the phobia on behalf of my child.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  I think it's nice that you trust strangers so much.

• 27:38Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 27:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, right. Because you're also scared of flying. Would you put your child on an aeroplane and then just maybe get a boat across the Atlantic?

• 27:48Speaker 03

  Race to the other end.

• 27:50Speaker 04

  I say I'll be there in 52 weeks. Could you look after the kid until then? The thing about lifts is they can't go anywhere except to the one place they're going unless someone presses another floor button. But you hope that won't happen.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Do you occasionally look at the person who's in the lift with your baby and think, I'll wait for the next one?

• 28:09Speaker 04

  I do, yeah. I usually make sure it's...

• 28:11Speaker 02

  When they're in the car, they're having a shit, yeah.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  This fact goes out to Keith Berry and it's that Spotify's random function is not random. I love this one.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:23Speaker 03

  Spotify had a thing where they would play random stuff, but it formed what people thought were patterns. It might play you, because if it's a properly random system, it might play you three songs by the same singer in a row. And that makes people complain to Spotify saying, hey, I thought this was random. And what Spotify should have done is stuck to their guns and said, it is random. Sometimes randomness will throw up three songs by the same singer in a row. That's randomness. And instead they caved and they made it so that it's structured, but it feels more random to us.

• 28:52Speaker 02

  I honestly, I think I'm on Spotify's side here.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  Are you? Okay.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  Really?

• 28:56Speaker 02

  Because I think if you press random on a playlist, what you want is different things all the time.

• 29:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  So actually, I think they've done something good there by, maybe there should be two buttons, one which is true random and one which is fake random.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  I, yeah, I think, I think there should be mathematically random and I think there should be Spotify random.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. And which do you think would get the most pressers?

• 29:17Speaker 03

  Uh, I'll probably Spotify random. Dweebs who don't want, don't want true randomness.

• 29:23Speaker 04

  Do people, I can't remember the purpose of random anyway. Why would you ever press random for songs?

• 29:28Speaker 02

  Well, you have a big, long playlist.

• 29:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  And you don't want to get the same order all the time. Or the playlist is like six hours long and you don't want to just listen to the first 10 songs again.

• 29:37Speaker 04

  Of course. That makes a lot of sense. I should start doing that, actually. I'm getting very bored of Build Me Up Buttercup. Okay.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  Uh, okay. Final one for the day.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  That's me. I'm the final one for the day and this is for Rachel Johnson. Rachel Johnson, take very good care of this fact because it's that scientists have grown an ear using Van Gogh's DNA.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 29:57Speaker 04

  Real slap in the face.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Do you think that's Rachel Johnson, the sister of former Prime Minister Boris Johnson?

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, who else would it be?

• 30:02Speaker 02

  It must be, right?

• 30:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  It's an unusual name.

• 30:05Speaker 04

  Very unusual pair of names. Interesting.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. Quite funny.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  But it won't be an actual working ear, will it? It'll be one of those, like, the shape of an ear and skin, will it be?

• 30:17Speaker 03

  Yes, it's just the outside of the ear. And I think they were growing it on some kind of tissue scaffold. I don't think it was one of those weird ears on a mouse.

• 30:23Speaker 04

  No.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  I think it's always a bit odd. I'm gonna come out and say it. I think it's weird growing ears on the back of a mouse.

• 30:29Speaker 04

  Ooh, controversial.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  Van Gogh's DNA, but it's not really Van Gogh's ear. What were they doing here?

• 30:37Speaker 04

  What are they doing here? I think they're just, it's a little bit of a joke, isn't it, at Van Gogh? It's like, in your face, Van Gogh, you didn't have an ear in your life, but 100 years later.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  I think basically you're starting up this new science where you can build ears on scaffolds. And you want people to get a bit interested in it. And so to do that, you think, who do I know who would have wanted an ear?

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  In history, Van Gogh.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  In fact, there aren't many other people who spring to mind, for me, anyway.

• 31:05Speaker 04

  Who else has famous ears? Prince Charles's or the Ki- or King Charles's, or some people call him now.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  Well, no, but these are missing ears we need. There was the War of Jenkins' Ear, very raucid bit of English history. I don't think it's gonna bring in the punters in the same way.

• 31:17Speaker 04

  No.

• 31:17Speaker 03

  We've recreated Jenkins' Ear. Who? Yeah.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:20Speaker 04

  Doesn't Voldemort not have ears?

• 31:22Speaker 03

  I think he doesn't have a nose.

• 31:24Speaker 04

  It's a nose. Damn, I always confuse those.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  My dark horse got no nose. How does he smell? Terrible. Sometimes it's just nice to give you something to put silence in after, James.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  It's just you've already said that on this podcast. And I can't remember who was the guest, but they did not go for it. I believe the phrase was, what the fuck was that?

• 31:43Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Can you remember who it was? Was it Amy? I can't remember who it was.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  No, Amy Goetzel. She'd have loved that.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe not Amy.

• 31:51Speaker 03

  Most of our guests.

• 31:52Speaker 04

  Sounds like it might have been Ella.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Oh, I know who it was. Was it not Ray? It was Ray O'Leary. It was. It's like, what was that?

• 31:59Speaker 03

  Such a nice polite man, but he had to know. What had gone wrong there?

• 32:04Speaker 04

  Maybe he didn't get it. It's a very highbrow joke.

• 32:08Speaker 03

  You thought he didn't have ears? Oh, hang on, does he have ears?

• 32:12Speaker 04

  I don't think he has ears. I'm picturing him now.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  He's been through some stuff, hasn't he, that character?

• 32:15Speaker 04

  Poor guy. Oh, he's the victim as well, is he, Andy?

• 32:20Speaker 03

  Who was the victim before?

• 32:22Speaker 02

  This hat man.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Barry Hat Piss.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  Barry Hat Piss and Voldemort.

• 32:27Speaker 03

  Wow, I'm really siding with the baddies today. He's got ears. Voldemort's got ears. Just please don't write in, we've ascertained that Voldemort has ears.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  Okay, on that note of the fact that Voldemort has ears, thank you so much to Rachel, Keith, Zan, Just Killing Time, Katrina, Tom, Guy and Michelle. Thank you so much for being custodians of No Such Things As Fish and really hope you enjoy your facts. If you would like to become a custodian of one of our facts, then go to patreon.com/clubfish and join at the highest tier, or just go to patreon.com/clubfish and join at any tier or even the free tier if you want to learn more about No Such Things As Fish. We will be back on Friday for a big fish. Thank you so much, Andrew Hunter Murray.

• 33:16Speaker 03

  Thank you. Bye.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Thank you, Anna Tashinsky.

• 33:18Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  And thank me.

• 33:22Speaker 04

  Thank you, James.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 33:35Speaker 00

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