When Following Up Backfires

EP 3126 There are times when your desire to follow up can backfire on you. ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTERPeople hire Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter to provide No BS job search coaching and career advice globally because he makes job search and succeeding in your career easier. Schedule a discovery call to speak with me about one-on-one or group coaching during your job search at ⁠www. TheBigGameHunter.us. You will also find great info and job search coaching to help with your job search at ⁠⁠JobSearch. Community⁠⁠ You can get free copies of 25 Interview Questions and Answers, How to Craft a Compelling Elevator Pitch in 20 Seconds or Less, Get Ready for the Job Jungle, Diagnosing Your Job Search Problems, No BS Resume Advice, and Prove Your Worth First, Then Negotiate. Receive free weekly suggestions and more. Subscribe to No BS Job Search Advice Radio, the #1 podcast in Apple Podcasts for job search with more than 3100 episodes. Connect on LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/T⁠⁠heBigGameHunter⁠ We grant permission for this post and others to be used on your website as long as a backlink is included to ⁠www. TheBigGameHunter.us⁠ and notice is provided that it is provided by Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter as an author or creator. Not acknowledging his work or providing a backlink to ⁠www. TheBigGameHunter.us⁠ makes you subject to a $1000 penalty which you proactively agree to pay. Please contact us to negotiate the use of our content as training data.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  UKG is the workforce operating platform with unified HR, payroll, and workforce management. Built to solve the unique challenges of frontline work. Powered by People First AI and decades of labor data, UKG turns workforce intelligence into real-time decisions around staffing, pay, compliance, and productivity, enabling every worker to confidently take action as work happens. Because when work works, everything works. Learn more at ukg.com/work. UKG: HR, Pay, and Workforce Management.

• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Speaker 02

  You know the feeling. You walk out of an interview and you are just floating. You think, I absolutely nailed that. You're excited, you're confident. You can already see yourself getting coffee in the break room. But then, the waiting starts. And that waiting game, wow. It can be one of the most nerve-wracking parts of the whole job search. And this is the question that just haunts you, right? You felt a real connection, the conversation was great, you had perfect answers for everything. So why is your inbox a ghost town? It's super frustrating and honestly, a little confusing. So let's get into what might actually be happening during that silence and how our best intentions can sometimes, well, completely backfire.

• 1:43Speaker 02

  All right, first, let's talk about what's going on with you during that post-interview quiet time. It's a real emotional roller coaster. And if you can understand that journey, you can avoid making a really common mistake. I mean, does this timeline look familiar? Day one, you're on top of the world. You're feeling hopeful, you're feeling good. By day three, though, that little seed of doubt starts to creep in. And by day five, oh, man. That anxiety has blossomed into this powerful temptation. The urge to follow up, again. And it's right there at that exact moment that so many of us mess up. And this brings us to something we're gonna call the follow-up fallacy. It's this trap that even the best, most enthusiastic job candidates can fall right into

• 2:28Speaker 02

  when that post-interview anxiety just takes over the driver's seat. The source material really doesn't pull any punches here. It says that when you follow up multiple times in just a few days, you come across as impatient and demanding. And let's just sit with those two words for a second because they are incredibly powerful and not in a good way. So what is this fallacy exactly? Well, it's this mistaken belief that sending more emails or making more calls is a great way to show how interested you are. You think, you're screaming, "I'm passionate, I'm dedicated." But what they're actually hearing is something else entirely. And this is the core of the problem, you know?

• 3:10Speaker 02

  It's this huge gap between what you intend to communicate and how they actually perceive it. What you're trying to say is getting completely lost in translation. I mean, look at this. It lays out the disconnect so perfectly. On your side, your intention is to show you're eager, you're passionate, you're proactive, all great things. But on their side, the hiring manager's perception, it's that you seem impatient, demanding, and maybe that you even lack a little professional judgment. It's a total communication breakdown. Let's dig into that first word, impatient. Look, a hiring team is juggling a ton of stuff. Other candidates, meetings, their own projects. To them, your constant check-ins don't really read as eagerness.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  They read as you not being able to respect their process and their timeline. A little strategic patience, that shows confidence. And then you've got the second word, demanding. You might think you're just asking for a quick little update, but from their perspective, it can feel like you're making a demand on their time. And think about it, you haven't even joined the team yet, and the perception could be that you're already going to be difficult to manage. Okay, so if this isn't sending the message you want it to send, what's the actual result? Well, unfortunately, it's pretty much the exact opposite of what you're hoping for. The source is really clear on this one. This strategy is not going to get you the result that you want. So all that energy, all that anxiety you poured into those follow-ups,

• 4:38Speaker 02

  it's actually working against your number one goal, which is getting that job offer. It's a pretty simple chain reaction when you think about it. Step one, you send multiple follow-ups. Step two, that action directly leads them to form a negative perception of you, that you're impatient and demanding. And the final, kind of devastating step, you don't just fail to get the offer, you actively push it away. And the source uses a really strong word here, repel. This isn't just a neutral thing where they, you know, pick someone else. Your actions can literally create an aversion. You're pushing the opportunity away from you, almost like you're the wrong end of a magnet. So now that we've walked through this all-too-common pitfall, what's the single most important thing you need to remember from all of this?

• 5:22Speaker 02

  It really just boils down to these three things. First, and this is huge, your good intentions don't mean they'll be perceived in a good way. Second, those frequent follow-ups, they can accidentally signal some really negative traits. And most importantly, all of this can actively push away the very opportunity you're trying so hard to get. And that leaves us with one last question for you to really think about in your own job search. The next time you feel that post-interview anxiety creeping in, and your hand is hovering over the keyboard to type in another follow-up, just pause and ask yourself this. Is my eagerness actually helping my chances here? Or could it be pushing this opportunity away?

• 6:02Speaker 00

  UKG is the workforce operating platform with unified HR, payroll and workforce management. Built to solve the unique challenges of frontline work. Powered by People First AI and decades of labour data, UKG turns workforce intelligence into real-time decisions around staffing, pay, compliance and productivity, enabling every worker to confidently take action as work happens. Because when work works, everything works. Learn more at ukg.com/work. UKG: HR, Pay and Workforce Management.