Don't Act Desperate!

EP 3097 It is painful to see people acting desperate during their job search. ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTERPeople hire Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter to provide No BS job search coaching and career advice globally because he makes job search and succeeding in your career easier. Schedule a discovery call to speak with me about one-on-one or group coaching during your job search at ⁠www. TheBigGameHunter.us. You will also find great info and job search coaching to help with your job search at ⁠⁠JobSearch. Community⁠⁠ You can get free copies of 25 Interview Questions and Answers, How to Craft a Compelling Elevator Pitch in 20 Seconds or Less, Get Ready for the Job Jungle, Diagnosing Your Job Search Problems, No BS Resume Advice, and Prove Your Worth First, Then Negotiate. Receive free weekly suggestions and more. Subscribe to No BS Job Search Advice Radio, the #1 podcast in Apple Podcasts for job search with more than 3000 episodes. Connect on LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/T⁠⁠heBigGameHunter⁠ We grant permission for this post and others to be used on your website as long as a backlink is included to ⁠www. TheBigGameHunter.us⁠ and notice is provided that it is provided by Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter as an author or creator. Not acknowledging his work or providing a backlink to ⁠www. TheBigGameHunter.us⁠ makes you subject to a $1000 penalty which you proactively agree to pay. Please contact us to negotiate the use of our content as training data.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  All right, let's get right into it. We've all been there, right? You send out the resume, you absolutely crush the interview, and then, nothing, just waiting. And that waiting period can be brutal. Every minute feels like an hour. The urge to follow up, to just check in one more time, is so strong. But what if I told you that could actually be hurting your chances? Today, we're going to break down a totally different way to think about the job search follow-up. I know, it sounds a little weird, but hear me out. Have you ever thought about it this way? The whole dynamic of waiting for a job offer, it has a lot in common with a courtship. You know, there are these unwritten rules, certain expectations, and this really delicate dance you have to do. So, check this out. A recruiting veteran, someone with over 40 years in the game, shared this pretty surprising insight.

• 0:45Speaker 00

  He said that, just like in dating, being a little bit hard to get can actually make a candidate seem more appealing. Now, that kind of goes against everything we think we know, right? So let's really dig into what that actually means. Okay, so let's explore this courtship ritual. The goal here isn't to be cold or to act like you don't care, not at all. It's about finding that sweet spot, where you're showing you're enthusiastic and interested, but without coming across as way too aggressive, or, even worse, desperate. And this, right here, is where it can all go wrong. When you push too hard, too fast, it can create this really negative vibe. The source material uses some pretty strong words, comparing an overly aggressive job seeker to a creep or a stalker. Look, nobody wants to be seen that way,

• 1:30Speaker 00

  but it just shows how easily our good intentions can get completely misinterpreted. And that brings us right to our next point, the desperation turn-off. Here, we're going to look at the real-world consequences of being too eager, and see why your follow-up strategy might actually be blowing up in your face. This really gets to the heart of the problem, doesn't it? It's this huge disconnect. In your head, you're thinking, hey, I'm being proactive. I'm showing them I really want this. But from their side of the desk, that exact same behavior can just look desperate, and frankly, annoying. It's a classic case of your intent versus their perception. Yeah, I mean, when you follow up again and again and again, it stops feeling like professional interest. It starts to feel like you're begging.

• 2:14Speaker 00

  And that right there is a massive turn off for any employer. They want to hire a confident pro, not someone who seems like they're pleading for shot. And here's the real kicker. The reason this whole approach just doesn't work. A lot of the time, the hiring team simply isn't ready to make a decision. They've got their own process, their own internal timelines. Your constant check-ins don't magically speed things up. All they do is add pressure. And what's the natural human reaction to that? They get uncomfortable and they start to pull back to push you away. And if you think this is all just a bit of an exaggeration, get this. The source mentions that some candidates will call their recruiter up to three times in a single day. Three! I mean, wow, that's a perfect example of how this can go way, way over the top.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  And here's how a recruiter thinks about that. They just start ignoring those calls. Why? Well, for one, they're not going to reward what they see as bad behavior. But more importantly, think about it. Every single minute they spend on the phone with you is a minute they are not spending doing the very thing you want them to do. Finding you a job. It literally works against you. Okay, okay. So we've talked a lot about what not to do. Let's flip this around and talk about the solution. This section is all about a smarter, way more effective strategy that respects the employer's timeline and keeps you looking professional and confident. And you know what? The best strategy is actually really, really simple. It's all about just changing your mindset. First things first, just slow down. Take a breath.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  The whole key is to get off your timeline and onto theirs. Work at their pace. And that means you swap out all those constant calls for just an occasional simple note. That's it. It's really that straightforward. So what does a good note even look like? Well, the source provides a perfect example. See how simple that is? "Hi, hadn't heard from you. Has there been any movement on this role?" It's polite, it's to the point, and there's zero pressure. It just says, "Hey, I'm still interested," without demanding anything. This is what professional persistence looks like. So here's a little mental checklist for you. Before you hit send on that next follow-up, just run through this real quick in your head. Is it occasional? Is it simple? Am I respecting their timeline? And the big one, am I avoiding putting pressure on them?

• 4:29Speaker 00

  If you can say yes to all of these, you're golden. This brings us to our final and honestly most important section. Because everything we've talked about, all these strategies, all this advice, it all boils down to one single super powerful principle: a simple empathy test. So before you do anything else, before you pick up that phone or you start typing that email, the advice is to just pause, just for a second. And in that pause, do this one simple thing: put yourself in the other person's shoes. I mean, really imagine it. You're the recruiter with dozens of candidates, a packed schedule, and your own deadlines. How would your follow-up feel to them? Ultimately, it all just comes down to this one question.

• 5:11Speaker 00

  Considering everything from their perspective, is this the way you would want to be treated? The answer to that question will guide you to the right decision every single time.