Pod Insights New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce Heights Hotline | Terrible Dating Advice For Kids, Modern Inconveniences, and Revoking Man Cards About this episode 92%ers, it's time for another edition of the Heights Hotline!
On today’s episode, Jason and Travis reveal which modern convenience they could live without, we give a child some great, and then terrible, advice on how to talk to girls, and we answer the age-old question about the best way to go to the bathroom.
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The wrongs we must right, the fights we must win, the future we must secure together for our nation. This is what's in front of us. This determines what's next for all of us. We are Marines. We were made for this.
0:20 Travis Kelce? Thank you to our partner Royal Caribbean. Dude, have you seen this? Royal Caribbean just dropped The Legend of the Seas. It's the biggest cruise ship on the planet. Like, nothing's even close to being this big. And it's sailing out of Fort Lauderdale, starting this November.
0:38 Speaker 02 That's right. This thing is stacked. Seven pools, more places to eat than you can even count. I mean, they have something for everybody.
0:47 Travis Kelce? Like, bring the kids, bring mom and dad, shoot, bring the whole crew. Everybody's got a spot. That's what makes it special.
0:54 Speaker 02 And the entertainment, Latin music, ice skating, full-on Broadway shows. It's pretty amazing. Pretty much everything you want in one place. Oh, and did I mention there's a water park?
1:04 Travis Kelce? You didn't, and that's, that'd be the kicker for me.
1:06 Speaker 02 I love a water park.
1:07 Travis Kelce? But the crazy one? Crown's Edge, a ropes course off the side of the ship, not for the faint of heart, brother.
1:16 Speaker 02 They've also got Playmaker Sports Bar and Arcade, so that means games on every screen. I love a good arcade sports place combination.
1:25 Travis Kelce? All right, Captain, get the family on the new Legend of the Seas, sailing November 2026 from Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
1:33 Speaker 02 Visit royalcaribbean.com to learn more.
1:37 Travis Kelce? Thank you to our sponsor, Colgate Total.
1:40 Speaker 02 On offense, it's important to prevent problems from the moment the ball is snapped.
1:44 Travis Kelce? That's true. Otherwise, you're just out there running cardio. Can't get open for a big play.
1:51 Speaker 02 But it's not just football. There's a lot of things you need to prevent before they start.
1:55 Travis Kelce? Yeah, like in your mouth.
1:57 Speaker 02 My mouth specifically?
1:59 Travis Kelce? I mean, probably yours too, but I'm talking everybody's mouth. There's bacteria in there that can lead to oral health problems like cavities, gingivitis.
2:10 Speaker 02 Right. Yeah, all the nasty stuff. But the good news is you can prevent these problems before they start with Colgate Total Active Prevention. It's like having a good offensive line for your mouth.
2:21 Travis Kelce? Ooh, exactly. With twice daily brushing, Colgate Total prevents oral health problems like cavities and gingivitis.
2:29 Speaker 02 And it's not just one contributing player either. It's a whole system. Toothpaste, mouthwash, and a special toothbrush.
2:36 Travis Kelce? Now that's the squad you want fighting for your mouth.
2:39 Speaker 02 Colgate Total is like having a full playbook in your bathroom, working to help prevent oral health problems before they start.
2:47 Travis Kelce? Get Colgate Total on Amazon today.
2:50 Speaker 02 Women can't refrain from
2:54 Speaker 03 Begging you.
2:57 Speaker 02 They can't help themselves. They have to eat the fruit.
2:59 Speaker 03 They see the apple.
3:00 Speaker 02 They have to eat the fruit. If they were allowed to eat the apple, they wouldn't eat the apple. So you gotta be the forbidden apple.
3:05 Speaker 03 No, I'm not really looking for anything right now. Do that drives them insane. I'm in fifth grade. I got a lot of stuff going on.
3:10 Speaker 02 It's a tale as old as time.
3:12 Speaker 03 You're 10 years old. It's called gaslighting. Now, what you want to do. All right, can you get your hands on cigarettes?
3:26 Travis Kelce? Welcome back to a bonus episode of your favorite show, your favorite podcast, your favorite brothers, New Heights, that is a wonder show. And we are your hosts. I am one brother. I'm Travis. This is my other brother, Jason, or I am the other brother to him because he's the first brother. Subscribe on YouTube, 100 Plus, or wherever you get your podcasts and follow the social media tag at New Heights Show with one S on all social media. Jason, should I do that again? Or should we get right into what we have coming up?
4:01 Speaker 02 I thought it sounded great, Trav. On today's bonus episode, we're going to be checking the Heights hotline, answer your off-season questions, off-offseason questions. Let's get into it. All right. What do we want to go to first? Delete one modern convenience? Sure, let's go with that one.
4:14 Travis Kelce? Yeah, that sounds fun.
4:15 Speaker 04 Okay, if you had to delete one modern convenience forever, GPS, streaming, or online ordering, what are you sacrificing?
4:24 Speaker 02 Oh, those three?
4:26 Travis Kelce? GPS streaming or online ordering?
4:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
4:30 Travis Kelce? What the?
4:31 Speaker 02 What are we constituting as streaming?
4:34 Travis Kelce? Yeah.
4:35 Speaker 02 Is that anything on the internet that you're like, what like is YouTube streaming? Cause if we do cut that out, then I don't have a living. So
4:42 Speaker 02 streaming, online ordering, I don't want to cut that out. I mean, listen, I can do it. I could go back to calling in orders on the phone. I got no problem with that.
4:51 Travis Kelce? Yeah, I don't, I don't.
4:54 Speaker 02 Actually, I want to cut out online ordering. I want to go back to calling phones and these places picking up the goddamn phone. Now you call a phone number and the places don't even pick up.
5:03 Travis Kelce? Yeah, dude, that's so.
5:05 Speaker 02 I used to like calling and talking to the woman and be like, hey, how you doing? What's your favorite thing on the?
5:09 Travis Kelce? How do you know it's a woman?
5:11 Speaker 02 Huh?
5:13 Speaker 02 I'm just.
5:15 Travis Kelce? Yeah, this is hypothetical. Um, no, I'm with you, man. I'm with you. I think, I think there is a lost art in the food like world. And there's like a, it just doesn't feel like when you go places that there's, I don't know, as much hospitality, maybe? I don't know. I may just be a grown up and see things more clear now, but um, I'm with you. I'm with you. I, I fucking love calling in an order. I think, uh, doing the whole app thing, you know? If I don't want fucking onions in something, I don't, and it doesn't have it on the app. Now I gotta call in and I'm like, can I get no endings?
5:49 Speaker 02 Don't get me wrong. I use the apps, but I, I kinda like the, the concept of picking up the phone and calling the pizza joint and, you know, but.
5:57 Travis Kelce? Yeah. See what kind of deals you got? I don't know. I don't want to read what kind of deals you got. I want to be surprised when you tell me and hear how you deliver the coupon, you know?
6:07 Speaker 02 Of those three, I think it's a no brainer. Online ordering.
6:09 Travis Kelce? Online ordering.
6:10 Speaker 02 Definitely not giving up GPS.
6:11 Travis Kelce? You wouldn't survive.
6:13 Speaker 02 Would not go well for me.
6:14 Travis Kelce? Follow the North Star, Jason.
6:17 Speaker 02 Just look up at the stars.
6:20 Speaker 02 Hey, so there's this girl I really like. Is that a child?
6:26 Travis Kelce? It sounded like a kid.
6:28 Speaker 02 How should I ask her out? Well, yeah, um, how you like a girl and you wanna ask her out?
6:34 Travis Kelce? I think first you gotta figure out what do you like about her?
6:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:37 Travis Kelce? Like, what do you like about her? You like the way she looks? You like the way she dresses? You like how funny she is? You think like how kind she is? And then maybe compliment that. And that will get you in the door, or at least you gauge how she reacts to that. And then that gives you a better understanding of whether or not she would be willing to go out with you. But that's always a good conversation starter to let someone know that you like them.
7:02 Speaker 02 All right, I'm gonna give you the old Ed Kelsey tip. You find her unattractive friend and you befriend her. And you start making her feel like she's interested.
7:13 Travis Kelce? It's so, it's so bogus, kid. Do not listen to that advice.
7:20 Travis Kelce? That is the 1950s way of dating.
7:24 Speaker 02 Oh, my gosh. Well, here's, here's what you do. Uh, you ask her out.
7:28 Travis Kelce? Yeah, there's no, there's no other way around it other than you just gotta, just gotta do it, man. You just gotta own it. You gotta.
7:35 Speaker 02 I would say like there you can do.
7:37 Travis Kelce? Gotta have some corners.
7:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, I mean, you can, you can do the whole like.
7:41 Travis Kelce? What's the worst she's gonna say? No?
7:45 Speaker 02 Well, that's the thing.
7:45 Travis Kelce? And then tell everyone that you, you asked her out and she said no.
7:50 Speaker 02 Laugh in your face that you're a locker.
7:53 Travis Kelce? Okay.
7:57 Travis Kelce? And then you're even, you're back even after that.
8:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, I would, I would say just ask her out, man. Knowing what I know now, and listen, when I was younger, I didn't know how to talk to women. I didn't, I still don't really know how to talk to women. I'm fucking Neanderthal. My wife Kylie reminds me every single day, but I think you, you just ask her out. And then you go on a date and then you go from there. I wouldn't worry too much about it, bud.
8:20 Travis Kelce? Just have something planned because you gotta have, you gotta have something in the back pocket. So like I said, maybe have a conversation starter and then have a, have a nice segue into maybe hanging out at the movies or at the mall, wherever your destination is. Gotta have a destination of where you wanna take her that's enticing. Um, and then, uh, yeah, go from there, bud.
8:42 Speaker 02 I wouldn't overthink it. I think you, you know, you start trying to force the conversation.
8:47 Travis Kelce? Oh, no, no, yeah, don't do all that.
8:49 Speaker 02 They said to go here and say this and whatever. Just try and like talk to her like a normal person.
8:56 Travis Kelce? Be authentic.
8:57 Speaker 02 Take her on a date, be chivalrous, open the door, be courteous, make some jokes at other people's expenses where it's just between you two. Hey, look at this idiot over here. Not for both people to gather like that.
9:13 Speaker 02 No, seriously, think of something that you want to do, ask her out to see if she wants to go with you. And then just, you know, see what happens. I think that's the best advice I can give you. And then you just, you know, like Trav said, the worst that she can say is no, and then she says no, and then it's like, whatever. You move on to the next.
9:27 Travis Kelce? You keep it moving. There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
9:30 Speaker 02 Tons of them. There are plenty of whales in the sea.
9:37 Travis Kelce? It's fish.
9:38 Speaker 02 There's tons of plankton in the ocean. I don't know what the fuck.
9:44 Travis Kelce? There's tons of whales?
9:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, whales probably wasn't the best one.
9:50 Travis Kelce? Yeah, you, listen, you're, if you're asking advice from us, you better figure it out on your own.
9:56 Speaker 02 There's no trick. Let me put it this way. There's no trick.
9:58 Travis Kelce? There is.
9:59 Speaker 02 Just go and, I mean, you can read the Cosmopolitan magazines and like all these things. And it's all a bunch of nonsense. Just fucking, if you like the girl, you say, hey, I was thinking about going seeing this movie. Would you like to go see it with me and then see what happens? She says, no, I want to go. Hey, I'm going to the mall. Do you want to, um, you want to go to the mall with me? Like it's, don't overthink it. No, you just go have fun. Just go be yourself.
10:21 Travis Kelce? Here, kid, start a podcast with your brother. Go on the podcast.
10:25 Speaker 02 There you go. Don't try and make her like you because then she's going to hate you. This was my crucial flaw with talking to females. I was like, okay, how do I impress them? Or how would I, like, how do, like, I would think that I need to talk any differently. And then it's just like.
10:41 Travis Kelce? Who you are is good enough, bud.
10:42 Speaker 02 You're going down a rabbit hole that is just unattainable.
10:46 Travis Kelce? Now you're doing too much. That's what Jason is. Don't overthink it. Don't do too much. Just be you, man.
10:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:50 Travis Kelce? Just be you. Who you are is good enough for the right person. All right, man.
10:54 Speaker 03 For the child who called in, please take that advice and call us back. I want to know how this goes. We're on the journey with you now.
11:01 Travis Kelce? So is this Joe Dirt?
11:02 Speaker 03 Call us back. Call us back. I want to know how it goes for you, young man.
11:05 Speaker 02 Do you know how many times I was told no? So it's gonna be fine. Not that she's gonna say no. Not that she's gonna say no.
11:10 Speaker 03 Then you go right to her friend and you make her jealous.
11:13 Speaker 02 Yes.
11:14 Speaker 03 Now you have the upper hands. Don't listen to any of this shit. I don't, please don't listen to anything I'm saying.
11:19 Speaker 02 Talking to her friend. Make it seem like you're interested. Laughing jokes.
11:24 Speaker 03 Like, your friend's pretty cute. She's way cuter than you.
11:26 Speaker 02 Make sure she sees you.
11:28 Speaker 03 You pit two women against each other.
11:30 Speaker 02 Then you're the hot commodity.
11:31 Speaker 03 Then you're the hot commodity.
11:33 Travis Kelce? You have to be.
11:34 Speaker 03 Supply and demand, my friend.
11:36 Speaker 02 Yes.
11:36 Speaker 03 Economics. Please ignore all of this.
11:38 Speaker 02 You're the forbidden fruit.
11:39 Travis Kelce? The tipping point is what Malcolm Gladwell calls this.
11:42 Speaker 02 Listen, have you ever, have you ever seen the Garden of Eden? Women can't
11:47 Speaker 03 Don't do this.
11:48 Speaker 02 refrain from
11:49 Speaker 03 Begging you.
11:51 Speaker 02 They can't help themselves. They have to eat the fruit.
11:54 Speaker 03 They see the apple. They need to eat the apple.
11:57 Speaker 02 But if they were allowed to eat the apple, they wouldn't eat the apple. So you gotta be the forbidden apple. You gotta go get that friend.
12:02 Speaker 03 No, I'm not really looking for anything right now. Do that drives him insane. Not looking to settle down. I'm in fifth grade. I got a lot of stuff going on.
12:08 Speaker 02 It's a tale as old as time, literally.
12:10 Speaker 03 Hmm. Sorry. Me and my friends are gonna hang out over here. You're not invited. Boom. You're in.
12:14 Speaker 02 Boom.
12:15 Speaker 03 Trick them. You're 10 years old. It's called gaslighting. Now, what you wanted to
12:20 Speaker 02 Well, what are your strengths? We need to know more about you.
12:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, we don't know. We don't actually, we might be on her side. Maybe she shouldn't date you.
12:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
12:27 Speaker 03 You're calling into a fucking podcast for advice. I don't know if I like the sound of this.
12:30 Travis Kelce? No, we don't want to shame anyone calling into this podcast.
12:33 Speaker 03 No, no, no. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.
12:35 Speaker 02 You gotta have something that she desires and a man. What are you good at? If you're not good at anything, you gotta get good at something first.
12:41 Travis Kelce? You gotta get good at something, dude.
12:42 Speaker 02 With nothing, you're gonna get
12:43 Travis Kelce? Nothing. You're not forbidden. You're not forbidden fruit anymore.
12:46 Speaker 03 Are you a class clown? Are you an athlete? What are we doing?
12:49 Speaker 02 If you're athletic, show it off. If you're not athletic, be the smartest person in the class. If you're not smart, be a class clown.
12:55 Speaker 03 Smart doesn't play.
12:56 Speaker 02 Smart plays.
12:57 Speaker 03 Nah.
12:58 Travis Kelce? You're crazy. Smart definitely plays.
13:00 Speaker 03 Smart doesn't.
13:01 Travis Kelce? Smart plays. I've seen the smart guy. I've seen the smart guy get the girl before. I've never been able to play that.
13:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, I was gonna say, it never really worked out for me.
13:08 Speaker 02 Never been one of my cards.
13:09 Travis Kelce? No, I've seen it work, though. I've seen it work.
13:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, pretty good score on this algebra test. There's a fucking D on it. Yeah.
13:15 Speaker 02 Women like men that are unpredictable. Okay, you
13:21 Travis Kelce? Try jumping into a trash can with scuba gear.
13:26 Speaker 02 That's right.
13:27 Speaker 03 Pull a fire alarm.
13:28 Speaker 02 Go up to Mr. Johnson and kick him square in the hole.
13:30 Travis Kelce? Tell him to fuck off. Women love a badass.
13:33 Speaker 03 We need you to be a bad boy. Can you be the bad boy of the class?
13:36 Travis Kelce? You want to go up to the front of the class and say, I'm fucking teaching this class this, I'm teaching a class today.
13:42 Speaker 03 Show up with a leather jacket, turn that chair around and sit down and be like, no, this is my algebra class now.
13:47 Speaker 02 Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna turn on Nickelodeon around 11 o'clock. You're gonna see a show called Happy Days and you see this guy called Fonzarelli. Just do everything to be there.
13:57 Travis Kelce? I'm the wakler. The wakler, dude.
14:01 Speaker 02 Just do everything he does.
14:02 Speaker 03 Just do everything the Fonz does. It works out great. Does your school have a jukebox you can hit?
14:08 Speaker 03 If you haven't caught on by now, all of us are old. Does your dad have a leather jacket you can borrow? All right, can you get your hands on cigarettes?
14:17 Speaker 03 Okay, it's called, it's called Chris Stapleton's Traveler Whiskey. You're gonna get yourself a bottle.
14:22 Travis Kelce? Listen, just come in with a fucking ounce of weed. If you come in with an ounce of weed to school.
14:31 Travis Kelce? You're getting expelled. You'll be the coolest kid in school.
14:35 Speaker 02 Coolest kid out of school.
14:36 Travis Kelce? Coolest kid out of school.
14:38 Speaker 03 Somebody's gonna yell at me how much less we have to cut out, but that's fine. These are always the best ones.
14:42 Travis Kelce? I'm not gonna lie, it started off kind of whack and this shit got so funny.
14:47 Speaker 03 Oh, we're good now. Okay, Travis is fine with this one now. All right, we're good. We can do one more.
14:50 Speaker 04 Hi Jason, hi Travis. I was just wondering, do you think it's acceptable for men to sit down and pee? Or does that automatically revoke their man card? I'm just asking for a friend. Thanks, bye.
15:03 Speaker 02 Well, as long as they still have some balls, I think they still get the man card. I don't know if there's a disqualification for anything out there. Unless they want to be. I don't really know how that works, but either way.
15:14 Travis Kelce? Whatever their preferences, yeah.
15:16 Speaker 02 Absolutely not. I would have, I would have removed their man card.
15:19 Travis Kelce? No.
15:19 Speaker 02 What, men can't sit down and pee? Sometimes you're tired. Sometimes you just want to sit on the toilet.
15:23 Travis Kelce? Yeah.
15:23 Speaker 02 You got a phone in your hand.
15:24 Travis Kelce? Sometimes it's a false alarm. You don't have to take a shit. Now you're just pissing.
15:27 Speaker 02 There you go. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I don't want to have to turn on the lights.
15:30 Travis Kelce? Yeah.
15:30 Speaker 02 In other words, when you get up in the middle of the night, you don't want to turn the lights on because you don't want to fully wake up? And you just hear piss hitting the floor and you're like, god damn it.
15:39 Travis Kelce? I've never experienced that.
15:42 Speaker 02 You've never experienced that?
15:44 Travis Kelce? No.
15:45 Speaker 02 Man, I'm definitely.
15:50 Travis Kelce? You missed the seat, the whole and everything?
15:53 Speaker 02 I mean, I'm saying it's not saying it's frequent, but it's happened.
15:59 Travis Kelce? Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. Ain't nothing wrong with it. It's toilet. Has a seat on it. There's nothing unmanly about taking a, taking a old sit.
16:08 Speaker 02 I think I got a bad back. Yeah, I don't know.
16:09 Travis Kelce? Maybe I want to keep fucking, I want to scroll and see if something hits. So something hits me while I'm scrolling.
16:15 Speaker 02 Listen, I got four kids. You know how many sit down peas I take?
16:21 Speaker 02 I'm enjoying this pee.
16:27 Travis Kelce? No, no wonder Dad took so many shits when we were kids, man. Dad would read the entire. Town Clancy.
16:36 Speaker 02 Magazine. I don't withhold from man cards from people that sit down.
16:40 Travis Kelce? Not, I'm not big on revoking man cards, period. But yeah.
16:44 Speaker 02 Same, especially if you're a man. All right, that wraps up another edition of Heights Hotline. We'll have some more bonus content for you all in March. So stay tuned.
16:55 Travis Kelce? That's right. Once again, New Heights, a wondery show. Follow it on all social media. Um, follow the show on all social media at New Heights Show with one S. And thank you to our production and crew again for getting us some much needed bonus content and the very fun bonus episode. This was hilarious. Um, to the young gentleman, uh, seeking advice to dating a woman, please call back it. We, we want to know how this goes.
17:19 Speaker 02 Make sure you put tons of Axe Body Spray on.
17:22 Travis Kelce? Tons. Always works.
17:24 Speaker 02 Loaded up.
17:25 Travis Kelce? Every time. Loaded up. Go under the shirt too. Go under the shirt too.
17:29 Speaker 02 Fresh maker.
17:30 Travis Kelce? Just in case. To the 92%ers, thanks for tuning in. We'll see you guys next time.
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