Pod Insights Myths and Legends 430: Finnish folklore: Worn Out About this episode ✏️Osmo is a pretty solid sketch artist✏️
He’s not drawing a criminal, though. He’s drawing his sister, whose only crime is stealing the prince’s heart. And also maybe trying to escape the prison of the sea king, but that comes later.
😈 The Creature: The Jurua
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, there’s the jurua who is taking their family out to a nice dinner…of your flesh. Hope you’re wearing the right creeper.
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🎵 Music Credits
"Rischa Textile" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Orange-crowned" by Chad Crouch
"Khorasan" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Ecola Score 3" by Chad Crouch
"Corridor Blue" by Blue Dot Sessions
Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Brief disclaimer, there's a depiction of a character struggling with some things and being pushed to harm themselves. Please see the post on mythpodcast.com if this is of concern to you. This week, on Myths and Legends, it's the story of Osmo, Elona, and how if that hitchhiker is really laying that guilt trip on thick, you might want to make sure that it isn't an actual demon. Also, why you should work on your drawing skills. You might get your sister a date with the prince. The greater this time wants to invite you down to their watery house for dinner. Unfortunately, they send their invitations via invisible spears, and you are the dinner.
0:44 Speaker 00 This is Myths and Legends, episode 430, Worn Out.
0:55 Speaker 00 This is a podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore. Some are incredibly popular tales you might think you know, but with surprising origins. Others are stories that might be new to you, but are definitely worth a listen. Today, we're in Finnish folklore for something closer to a fairy tale, as it doesn't care about time, place, or history. We'll jump in as Osmo, the farmer's son turned shepherd, gets a visit from his lunchtime buddy.
1:31 Speaker 00 Osmo took out his bread and cheese and sat down for lunch. It was a working lunch. Every lunch was, but it was honestly very similar to a lunch break. He was sitting in a field watching the king's flocks. He was a shepherd. His friend walked up beside him and took a seat on the rock. "Osmo," the young man greeted the shepherd, and Osmo turned with a smile and a nod, offering his friend some of his lunch. The young man waved it off politely. He had just eaten at the palace, because he was the prince. "How's it going?" the prince asked Osmo. "Oh, you know, same sheep, different day," Osmo said, taking a drink from his wine
2:12 Speaker 00 skin before remembering, "Hey, I saw another procession. Is this European princess the one?" The prince sighed. He wasn't sure. What did Osmo think? Osmo said that she looked, she looked nice. Osmo, one of the things I value about our friendship over the last year is that you can speak without an agenda. So you can do so now without fear, the prince said. Osmo weighed his words. It would probably be good if her family stopped marrying their own cousins for a few generations. Like, we get it, your bloodline is pure, but- Pure what?
2:54 Speaker 00 They looked like Cetera. Who is she again? The prince asked. Oh, some places call her the mother of serpents, but she's more so a demon or a monster filled with unpleasantness. Osmo took another bite of his cheese. Oh, then absolutely yes, the prince said, with the unpleasantness part. Honestly, though, Osmo said that he was biased. Up until last year, just about the only girl he had ever seen was his sister. And while they had a perfectly normal and not weird relationship, he could also recognize beauty when he saw it. And he did not see it in any of those princesses. Are you telling me your sister is more beautiful than any of the princesses you've seen my father's ministers bring through town? The prince laughed.
3:38 Speaker 00 Osmo, though, thought about it. Yeah, actually, every single one. Really? The prince grew even more incredulous. Okay, did Osmo think he could describe her? Osmo said, probably not. He never really thought all that good and his speaky word using was even not gooder. The prince squinted as if to parse out if that was a bit, but pressed the subject. On some of the slower days, and since Osmo was a shepherd, that was saying something. He saw Osmo sketching the sheep and the landscapes out here. Did, could Osmo maybe draw her? Osmo said, "Sure, he could try."
4:22 Speaker 00 "Oh my gosh." The prince looked down at the paper a couple hours later. "It's not good. Human eyes are hard. And when I do noses, it either comes out nonexistent or like the most obvious thing on the face. This isn't really a good representation of..." "I love her," the prince interrupted. "I'm in love. Do you think she might want to marry me?" "Um, well, that's, that's a big question. Maybe dial that back, but I can make an introduction." Osmo offered, and the prince gladly accepted. When could he come to Osmo's parents' house? Osmo said that that might spook her. The prince showing up with his knights and proposing marriage. He could go home and get her, though. It was just a few days' travel.
5:08 Speaker 00 The prince was giddy, vowing to marry Osmo's sister the day he met her, if she would have him. And before the prince folded up the picture and put it in his pocket closest to his heart, he pointed at something on the picture. "What are those?" "Oh, those are stink lines. She's still my sister."
5:38 Speaker 00 Osmo approached the little farmhouse on the edge of the forest. It hadn't been long, maybe a year since he left, and it was exactly the same. Still, he wondered what he might find inside. On his way in, he squatted down and said hello to his parents. And after a few moments, left the graves to go see his sister. Elona smiled when she saw him and rushing forward, embraced her brother. He looked around. She was doing well. After their parents died, the two people who were little more than children worked for years to eke out a life on the farm. And they did. But Osmo knew there had to be more.
6:21 Speaker 00 Also, as he was remembering farm work, sitting in a field and watching some sheep did not seem so bad anymore. Alona, though, stayed, saying that she could manage on her own. And apparently, she had. Now, though, she wouldn't have to. She could tell Osmo was excited about something because that something threatened to spill over as she was answering his questions about this or that cow or chicken. "The prince is in love with you," Osmo blurted before Alona could get "What is it that you want to tell me?" out. That surprised her. Osmo told her all about him. How they got to talking one day and he was really down to earth and how they had lunch together most days out in the field. He was a good man. Very low chance of him going bluebeard.
7:06 Speaker 00 Alona said that she was happy to hear that and then sat with a sigh. "Okay, that's not a wow, great to hear all that life-changing good news sigh if there was a sigh that said all that." Osmo took a seat next to her. She said that it was the house. That it would be such a shame to leave the home where their family had lived for generations. Yeah, they lived, but not well. "I asked Dad once how many of our ancestors starved to death here?" "It's not a small number," Osmo said. "I just..." Alona's eyes glanced toward the window. "She couldn't bear to leave this old house until the grindstone with which their family
7:51 Speaker 00 for generations ground their meal was worn out." Osmo stood up and, as Alona sat pensively, he followed her eye line to the barn. "You know what? You're right," he said, looking up with a look that was neither anxiety nor relief. Alona said she was? "Absolutely." He clasped his sister on the shoulder. "We won't leave until the grindstone wears out." On a completely unrelated note, "I'm going to the barn where I need complete privacy for four to six..." He looked at the size of that millstone. "Let's say nine hours." Alona woke Osmo up the following day, next to the millstone.
8:34 Speaker 00 She poured out some weed on it, attached the donkey, and after less than a turn, the stone absolutely crumbled. Wow, that is a sign if I ever saw one. Osmo stood marveling. It just fell apart, and that thing was big. It would completely wear a human out if they stood hammering away at it for hours. Ask me how I know, but actually don't, Osmo laughed. And then realized that he was nearly alone. She was leaving the barn without a word. Following her into the house, she sat where she did the previous day. She couldn't leave it. Looking up to her brother, and then just to his side, she sat up straight.
9:16 Speaker 00 Not until the old stool, where our mothers had sat spinning these many generations, was worn through. Glancing to his side, Osmo grumbled. She was just saying stuff she was looking at now. Everything in this house was old and had been used for generations because it had to, because they had nothing from living in this house. Taking a deep breath, Osmo mumbled that at least a stool was easier to break than that millstone.
9:56 Speaker 00 The stool, the mortar and pestle, and finally the door sill falling to splinters at the brush of her dress, and Alona sat looking at the floor. Osmo ran his fingers through his hair. Destroying the floor would be tough with her in the house, but he, I'm not ready to go, Alona said. But I'll go. Is it Mom and Dad? Osmo threw a thumb over his shoulder, and Alona said, no. They would be happy for her, excited. It was... She had never left, and leaving their land to fall to ruin did feel like they were losing something. But sometimes that was necessary. Sometimes you had to unburden yourself to move forward.
10:38 Speaker 00 As long as they were together, she knew she would be all right. She thanked her brother for destroying all their old stuff. There was a kindness in it. You knew? Yeah, you were out in the barn hammering that millstone for like, seven hours. Alona rose and began to pack. Nine, actually. Yeah, it would have been nice if they could have had that bittersweet nature of change talk a week ago, but it was good they were having it now. He was happy to help. The next morning, brother and sister, hand in hand, emerged from the house with Alona's dog, Pilka, running circles around their feet. Alona looked at Osmo with a nod. She was ready.
11:22 Speaker 00 They locked the door, though there was no need. If everything went well, they would never have to come back here. Also, Osmo had annihilated anything of value in the past few days, anyway. Brother and sister carried a boat from the barn. He had left it for her in the event that she needed to go fishing for food. And the boat would make for a much shorter and safer trip back to the prince if not a less annoying one. Don't look, Osmo whispered. Alona immediately looked. Why would you do that? Osmo said as Alona's head snapped back, but she had already made eye contact. When you say don't look, it's the one thing I want to do. It's almost pure reflex, Alona said.
12:07 Speaker 00 Take me in your boat! The woman, standing on the shore of the sea, yelled while waving her arms. Besides, don't you think that we should help her? Alona asked. If I thought we should help her, I wouldn't have said, "Don't look, don't make eye contact." Would I? No, I, we don't know who she is or what she wants. Quote, "She may be evil," Osmo wrote on. Hi, two young people? I saw you look at me? You know I'm in need of help, yet you're refusing to even acknowledge me? She cried out. "Okay, this is getting really awkward," Alona pointed out. "Yeah, because you made eye contact," Osmo said.
12:49 Speaker 00 The woman, though, kept at it, saying she wondered how they could think of themselves as good people, leaving such a poor, pitiful, sad woman alone in the wilderness. "Thanks, guess I'll die, hope you can sleep tonight, thinking of me huddled in the woods, a wolf at my door, which is really just a wet piece of bark lazily propped against a cave opening." "What are you doing?" Alona asked as Osmo stuck an oar in the water to turn the boat hard to the right. "I'm picking her up." "You wanted me to, right?" Osmo asked. "But Alona said that the woman was laying it on really thick now, and she almost wanted to not do it because at this point it felt like coercion."
13:31 Speaker 00 "Well, she's right, sketchy or no, we shouldn't leave someone stranded in the woods. I mean, this is Finland, even in summer it's cold at night." Wiping the tears from her eyes and skipping over to the boat, the woman wedged herself right in between the siblings. Osmo wasn't back, rowing. The woman sat in the middle because stuff like politeness, respect, and norms only hold sway when someone has shame, and the woman, as she shoved herself into Alona's seat to the sister's frustrated scoffs, showed that she did not. "Look at you, all big and strong, rowing with your muscles," the woman said, asking if she could feel Osmo's muscles as she was feeling Osmo's muscles.
14:14 Speaker 00 Osmo was happy the woman's focus shifted to Alona, with her commenting how beautiful the young woman was, all dressed up. "The king's son himself would fall in love with her if he ever saw her." "You know what? Funny story," Osmo laughed and related the tale of how his drawing ability, and to some much lesser extent, his sister's beauty, meant that she was marrying the prince if she agreed to, of course. "That's actually where we're gonna go right now." "Right now? You're gonna go have an audience with the prince?" the woman said, and then started breathing heavily, so heavily that she coughed. This startled Osmo, and he noticed that she was now holding a bullfrog.
14:56 Speaker 00 "Just popped into my hand," the woman laughed, "from the lake, definitely not from my mouth."
15:03 Speaker 00 Oh, okay. Um, where can I drop you? Osmo squinted. The closer they got to the capital, the more fishing villages lined the shore. Oh, I'm actually going to the capital, too, the woman said, and then mumbled something to herself. Yeah, I'm gonna have an audience with the prince as well. That's convenient, Osmo said. A little odd, too. Sounds a little odd to me that two children of, from the smell of it, farmers, would be going to meet the prince, but our sovereign is, it seems, very open-minded, the woman said, and settled in as the morning turned to afternoon.
15:53 Speaker 00 We'll see what this person's big plans are, but that will be right after this. Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids, but what about protecting them? Outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, baby gates? Where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. Progressive offers customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage for you and your loved ones. They're basically the outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, and baby gates of insurance. Don't wait. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates and other insurers. Not available in all states.
16:34 Speaker 01 Hey, it's Niall Rogers, host of Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series. I'm driving across the country, meeting some of today's most fascinating artists. We're exploring the stories before the moment that changed everything. This week, I'm joined by Miguel.
16:52 Speaker 02 My small experience with the discrepancy in the business of music made me angry in the best way, and I wanted to, I wanted to finish. So I started really leaning into my therapy, trying to get down to like, what matters now? Somewhere, Miguelito felt like he didn't have a place to say how he felt. And music was the place that I went to to say how I felt.
17:15 Speaker 01 Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series on the iHeartRadio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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18:40 Speaker 00 Alona turned. Her brother was speaking to her, but she couldn't hear him. The oar splashed in the water, and a thrush sang in the trees nearby, but she couldn't hear... him. "Do you hear him?" she asked the woman. "Of course," the woman said. Serious? Alona didn't? Oh, well, maybe she hadn't wanted to hear it. Maybe she couldn't take it. What is he saying? The woman's concern morphed with purpose until her voice had an edge to it. "He says jump. Jump headlong into the water. He doesn't care where you go, or what happens to you.
19:22 Speaker 00 But he doesn't want you here," the woman said. Watching with the same intensity the cornucopia of emotions her words painted on Alona's face, like an artist would with their brush. What? Alona asked, a tear welling in her eye. The woman in the boat inhaled deeply. Her pupils got wider. Well? What did Alona expect? That she was marrying a prince? Her? No, she was the daughter of a farmer. Who did she think she was? No, Osmo was somebody. Osmo left and found his way, and now he couldn't have his past holding him back.
20:04 Speaker 00 Couldn't have her holding him back. Alona began weeping. This was all wrong. She just wanted to talk to him. Dear, you are talking to him. He doesn't care. It's dreadful. He just keeps saying, "Jump headlong into the water so I can be rid of you." Osmo seemed to be growing in intensity, pointing ahead to the castle, growing. He's telling you to jump. Now, you're almost there. He'll find another way if you don't jump now, and it won't be as easy or as quick, the woman said, and seemed to breathe in Alona's anguish. With a glance, though, the woman looked behind Alona, to the dock.
20:49 Speaker 00 All pretense dropped, all padding and fluff. Alona was no longer in the boat with her brother and the stranger they had picked up. The woman's black eyes searched her and her fanged mouth, with a snake crawling out of it, demanded that Alona jump. With this last command, Alona's heart shattered. She didn't know why her brother would order such a cruel thing, but she knew that he was right. She had been nothing since her parents passed, since Osmo left. Just a foolish girl cleaning her own tomb. A mausoleum to her family's failure that she, the greatest failure of them all, would
21:32 Speaker 00 never see again. She dove from the boat. Moments earlier, Osmo stood puzzled, why his sister was growing sadder and sadder when he was just asking her to stand up and do her ribbons and shake out her dress. The prince was a cool guy, and like, she didn't have to, but first impressions are kind of important. When she appeared to grow more and more pained, he set down the oar to go comfort her. And found that he couldn't move. He screamed as she, still without sound, wailed and threw herself from the boat. Wanting to kick off his shoes and jump in after her, he found he was rooted to the bench. "Don't worry, young man, that was shocking.
22:16 Speaker 00 Take some time, I'll row us," the woman said, picking up the oars and rowing as tears flowed from Osmo's eyes. But he otherwise sat motionless in the back of the boat. "She's likely dead now," the woman set down the oars. She had been watching the water and the shore for ten minutes, and no one had come up. "I'll keep you like that while I explain your situation," the woman said, turning and going through the bags. "The prince will have you executed when you return without your sister. You might think, oh, but he's my friend. Don't worry, I won't try what I just did with your sister. He is your friend, but he's also malleable. You all are," she stopped. She could see he wanted to say something.
23:00 Speaker 00 "Lies," Osmo said, "you told her lies." She froze him again. "My boy, I, I can't lie. Well, no, that's a lie. But my best persuasions have truth at the center. Your sister believed that she was worthless, nobody, unloved, forgotten, undeserving of this grand new life. She never pulled that thread, but those feelings and thoughts were allowed to grow in the dark, like a fungus. I just had to open the door and let it out, like with your friend, the prince. He slums it with you each day. Why? Maybe because he believes himself to be different. He is, by the way. He doesn't want to be like his father,
23:43 Speaker 00 and you and your sister could very easily make that permanent. But you could also destroy it. You could embarrass him. You could make it so he never trusts one of you again. He'll think that maybe he is fundamentally different than these little creatures that spark his hope and then laugh at him for nothing more than their own fleeting enjoyment, or want to use him for everything. Maybe he is better, maybe Dad was right." She unfroze Osmo and, face contorted in rage from accusing her of lying, he softened. "She's dead, Osmo."
24:22 Speaker 00 That's over. It happened. "Don't let her drag you down with her," the woman said. She opened the wooden box that held Alona's clothes. "What would you have me do?" he asked. The stranger smiled as she put on Alona's dress.
24:50 Speaker 00 Osmo watched the prince's face for any sign that he suspected Osmo of replacing his sister with a stranger they picked up on the road. To be fair, the prince hadn't actually seen the sister, and Osmo had been pretty honest about his iffy ability to accurately represent someone with his drawings, so a lot of this could just be chalked up to the prince's foolishness when it came to vowing to marry someone you only saw a drawing of. And in Osmo's defense, drawings from the Middle Ages look wild. I, Jason, have a book with a medieval depiction of Guinevere where she actually looks like a space alien. It's bizarre. The prince married the faux Alona, Felona, later on that day. And, as brother-in-law and best friend to the prince,
25:35 Speaker 00 the servants showed Osmo to his room in the castle. As he looked on the plush pallet and the goblet with the finest wine he had ever tasted, it all felt hollow. Not just the lie that had gotten him there, though no matter how much he told himself that the prince had accepted her and that, really, he had agreed to marry a woman sight unseen, so that was kind of on him. It was a lie. Osmo had deceived his only friend, and he was tarnishing the memory of his sister to do so. And then it hit him. His sister was gone. Dead. The frantic deceit in the wedding, he hadn't even thought about her, but now that he was
26:17 Speaker 00 alone, the waves of grief crashed over his defenses. She was dead. Osmo had betrayed her memory. He was alone. After a night of fitful sleep, Osmo decided that he hated this room, this life. He briefly considered returning to the stables or just leaving altogether, but no. He was this far into the lie. Maybe last night had been the worst of it. It had to get better, didn't it, day by day? He rose from the floor where he slept because he didn't deserve to profit off his betrayal, or be warm and comfortable while his sister... He rose from the floor when he heard the boots in the hall. The prince. "So, how was the wedding night?"
27:02 Speaker 00 Osmo winked with a forced smile. "Just kidding, he actually didn't want to know, that was his sister." "I thought you said your sister was beautiful." The prince was serious. "She is," Osmo said as he remembered her face disappearing into the water. "I thought she was at first, but there's something about her. She's... She's evil." The prince looked almost afraid. "You've deceived me," the prince said. "My father was right. You will have a fitting punishment for your crime." With a nod of his head, the prince's guards came in and grabbed Osmo by his shoulders. Osmo, who didn't say another word. Everything was correct. His sister was beautiful.
27:46 Speaker 00 And this woman was evil. "I deserve my punishment." "Whatever it is," Osmo said, as the prince's men dragged him to a shed. "You don't get to decide that," the prince said, as the darkness enveloped Osmo. The shed was only the upper part with a high window to let in a few shafts of light. The bottom was a pit lined with stones. "They decide that," the prince declared, and the guards threw Osmo into the pit. His arms scraped the rocks when he landed and he sat up. A cacophony of whispers drowned out the sounds of the countryside beyond the walls of the shack. And the floor... Was moving. No, they weren't whispers, though. They were...
28:31 Speaker 00 Hissing. Snakes. "The serpents will not harm an innocent man. If you are guilty, they will devour you," the prince said. As the prince left, Osmo thought he saw the glimmer of a tear on the man's face. Then, the door shut. As his eyes adjusted to the light, or lack thereof, Osmo saw the bones and... Other bits of the men who had come before him. Was it just rhetorical flourish that the prince said that they would be devoured, or... Were these men guilty enough not to be safe, but not so guilty as to be devoured? Though everyone probably sat somewhere on that continuum.
29:13 Speaker 00 Osmo knew his own fate. He closed his eyes and waited for the serpents to come.
29:31 Speaker 00 Ilona woke up in bed? A bubble wrapped around her head. The fish that had been looking after her darted off as she sat up. The coral pillars held up a ceiling of shells and soon, a man entered the room. Tall with a long beard, he wore glistening armor. With a wave of his hand, the bubble around Ilona's head expanded until it filled the whole room, with her fish attendants darting off before they suffocated. The man, though, seemed to be okay. "My...is this heaven?" Ilona asked. The man laughed. "Looking at you, I feel like I'm in heaven. Beautiful yet sad. It's
30:12 Speaker 00 so hot. It's like, what's wrong, babe? Nothing a few doses of vitamin C can't fix. Get it?" The man laughed. "I don't have scurvy?" The woman shook her head. Where was she? "I should hope not. No, vitamin C because...oh yeah, I didn't introduce myself. I'm the C-King. Vitamin S-E-A because it's...it's my name." "Oh, that's very funny." Ilona was still confused about where she was and how she got there. The last thing she remembered was the pain of her brother and then the look of that woman. The look...no.
30:51 Speaker 00 She had been overwhelmed by some magic, some spell. The woman was...she was seer yeter. Osmo was in terrible danger. "I'm watching kind of a face journey thing here, but you're not saying anything," the C-King said. "Regardless, um, marry me?"
31:10 Speaker 00 I'm sorry, what? Alona replied, stunned to speechlessness by joy with my offer. Yes, marry me. I probably don't even need to ask. The sea king brought out the ring, which was coral, but not the polished coral you see with jewelry, and was actually super popular back then, but real coral, which is, in real life, super sharp. I need to see my brother first, Alona said. The sea king sighed but nodded. He was a traditional guy too, and he understood that she needed to ask her older male relative permission to wed. He did things the old-fashioned way as well. As soon as they wed, her life was going to be very repressed. Yes, that's why. Do you know where he is? And how do I get to him?
31:54 Speaker 00 I'm assuming from the air bubble and the fact that I jumped in water that you're the sea king and I'm under the sea. The sea king inhaled sharply. Ah, beautiful and smart. Not so keen on that second one, but they'd figure that out. Yes, she was under the sea. And, uh, good news, bad news about your brother. Bad news is it was discovered that the demon woman took your place. He was blamed for his treachery, and he's been cast into a room of snakes to be judged and executed. The sea king clasped his hands, excited for her positive reaction. What? I know, right? Like, who keeps an entire room full of snakes? Snake's poop, you know? I mean, that place must reek, no matter what substrate you use.
32:39 Speaker 00 And who are you gonna get to clean that? Just going into that room is a death sentence. Maybe it's a wool-slash-silo situation where the condemned clean, but why would they do that? Who knows? The sea king was a magical king of the sea, but even he had to think about these practical considerations. No, my brother is being executed? What's the good news? Alona was reeling. Oh, the good news is that you don't have to leave, and you can stay with me forever. The king clapped. "Please," Alona begged, "he's in that pit because of me. Please, just let me go see him. Just three times." "One time," the sea king narrowed his eyes. "Three times," Alona said again. "Two times," the sea king smiled.
33:24 Speaker 00 "They were bargaining now, all right. Okay, fine. Have it your way. I can go as low as three," Alona said. "Deal," the sea king pointed and laughed, showed her.
33:48 Speaker 00 We'll see what Alona's big plans are, but that will, once again, be right after this. Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids, but what about protecting them? Outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, baby gates? Where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. Progressive offers customized coverage options, so you can be sure you have the right coverage for you and your loved ones. They're basically the outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, and baby gates of insurance. Don't wait. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates, and other insurers. Not available in all states.
34:31 Speaker 01 Hey, it's Niall Rogers, host of Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series. I'm driving across the country, meeting some of today's most fascinating artists. We're exploring the stories before the moment that changed everything. This week, I'm joined by breakout singer-songwriter Alex Warren.
34:51 Speaker 04 To this day, Ordinary would not have done anything, and I would have not been able to put it out if Book Talk didn't back it up and if my wife and her friend didn't back it up.
34:59 Speaker 01 Amazing.
35:00 Speaker 04 So, pretty crazy how, like, just one thing.
35:02 Speaker 01 Right.
35:03 Speaker 04 I mean, I bet we could point to nine different things in our careers where it's just one thing all of a sudden. If that one thing didn't happen, then I wouldn't be here.
35:09 Speaker 01 What you're talking about right now is what I've been talking about since the beginning of my career. There's these things outside. Of you.
35:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:18 Speaker 01 That make everything happen. These other forces somehow came into contact with each other.
35:25 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:25 Speaker 01 Help propel you to this place.
35:27 Speaker 04 It's just insane.
35:28 Speaker 01 Experience before the moment. A Lincoln original series on the iHeart Radio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
35:38 Speaker 03 Ready to feel energized and in control again? At Orderly Meds, we have helped thousands just like you take charge of their health with a GLP-1. If you've tried dieting, exercising, and relying on willpower and nothing seems to stick, then it might be time to talk to a licensed provider about your options. That's what Orderly Meds is for. This fall, choose healthier habits for yourself with a visit to orderlymeds.com. You don't need to visit with a physician in person to become eligible. Orderly Meds has a simple virtual process. Connect with licensed medical professionals who can determine whether a GLP-1 treatment may be appropriate for you wherever you are. Getting started from the comfort of home online. Change your habits and consider a new approach to feeling your best. Visit orderlymeds.com to learn more.
36:22 Speaker 03 That's orderlymeds.com. Orderlymeds.com. Gain confidence and choose better habits this fall. Compounded medications are not FDA approved. Eligibility required and determined by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary. See website for details.
36:50 Speaker 00 If you have to chain your fiance to make sure they come back to you? Sorry to break the news. That person isn't your fiance. Given that Alona had no bargaining power at all, it was a decent compromise. She could return to the world above water for three successive nights, but she had to wear silver chains that tethered her to the underwater kingdom, which, when they rattled, sounded like bells. It made sneaking around the prince's kingdom a little difficult. But as she rose and found her family's boat, which had been left on the day of the arrival, she found that she had a helper. Pilka, her dog, had done sort of a Seymour from Futurama thing, where the dog stayed by where he had last seen Alona. Also, I guess Osmo had enough on his mind that day
37:33 Speaker 00 and completely forgot about Pilka. Emerging from under the bench in the boat to the sound of his owner's bells. Pilka let out two happy barks and scampered over to her. Then she sang the magic song. Peely peely pilka pide, lift the latch and slip inside, past the watchdog in the yard, past the sleepy men on guard, creeping softly as a snake, then creep out before they wake. Peely peely pilka pide, peely peely pilka. Wow, Pilka the dog said. I am so glad we found that magic song that helps us communicate with words and practiced it ahead of time. Too bad we never mentioned it to Osmo or anyone else.
38:14 Speaker 00 Yes, that would be weird if we just did this with zero explanation, Ilona said. Right, nice to see him too and thanks for all the face kisses. They needed to focus now, though. She needed Pilka to go check and see how Osmo was doing and to take this, a square of gold and silver, which she had been working on down in the Sea King's Palace. Pilka needed to place it on the prince's pillow while he slept to communicate that Osmo's true sister lived and that frightening creature he married was Suyutair. Wow, I don't know how he's supposed to get all that from a piece of cloth, but what do I know, I'm just a dog. Woof woof. Oh, the bark's coming back, we better get a move on it, Pilka said, and rushed off with the embroidery in his mouth.
38:57 Speaker 00 Returning and panting a few minutes later, Pilka said, okay. He had news. Osmo wasn't dead. In fact, the snakes seemed like they kinda liked him. Also, the fake Ilona was a snorer. He passed by the remains of the wedding feast too, and it was gross, even as a stray dog, no thanks. Philona had served bones instead of meat, fish heads, turnip tops, and bread burned to a cinder. Ilona patted Pilka on the head. Okay, she will be back the next two nights, and hopefully, that would be enough. She descended into the water, chains jingling. The sound of bells echoed through the city as the first lights found the eastern sky. In bed, Philona awoke with a snort in a start.
39:43 Speaker 00 Bells, what was that? This woke the prince, who was already in a fitful twilight sleep. His eyes found the beautiful embroidered square. Who made this? What fabric? Give me that, Filona grasped. But the prince sprang from bed. Filona shook her head as she meant she made it. You couldn't make anything this beautiful! The prince cried and rushed off to start his morning.
40:21 Speaker 00 Just wondering, and not that I care, how is Osmo doing in the snake pit? The prince asked over breakfast. The chamberlain flipped through the papers and then, ah, he's, uh, great? Not what one normally reads in reports from snake pits. The enslaved man that checked on him this morning said that the big snake they all call King Snake, because he eats so many of the others, was friends with Osmo? Old King Snake was quilled around the arm, maybe to fend off slash eat any potential attackers. Osmo actually requested more substrate in order to clean up a bit, which was badly needed. The advisor knew that the prince was the monarch and all that, but if he was looking
41:03 Speaker 00 for a judgment when it came to a snake pit, no one had ever ended up friends with them in just a few days, or ever. Hmm, indeed, the prince said. Hey, was there still that strange, elderly woman who lived on the edge of town? Yeah, the witch, the chamberlain asked. Well, she's a woman living by herself in a society that doesn't understand and hasn't taken the time to, so that's probably the shorthand we use, yeah? The prince folded the embroidery and put it in his pocket. No, I totally get that, the chamberlain said, but she did actually have some arcane knowledge, and she was a witch. Can you pencil me in for two o'clock, the prince asked? The chamberlain shrugged. I mean, she's the strange woman who lives on the edge of
41:46 Speaker 00 town, and the prince was the prince. He could probably just pop in whenever. And he did. My son, the old woman said early that afternoon, after snatching the embroidery and pacing around her hut, smelling it and throwing some tiny bones and burning some plants and looking at the smoke. That is never Osmo's sister that you have married. Take an old woman's word, it is sui utere. Yet Osmo's sister must be alive, and the embroidery must be a token from her. It probably means that she begs you to release her brother. You got all that from a piece of fabric? The prince wavered between impressed and suspicious that she got all that from a piece of fabric. Still, as he pondered her enigmatic words, he decided to be on guard in the event that
42:30 Speaker 00 his wife he had secretly hated for reasons he barely understood was actually a demon from legend, which would kind of explain his idiopathic and deep-seated unease and hatred.
42:58 Speaker 00 "There was nothing enigmatic about what I told you," the elderly woman said the following day, when the prince brought her yet another piece of embroidery to see her and ask about the meaning. Even though she was extremely specific the last time, she had even more information now, and the prince, with the elderly woman priming him to see his wife as a possible demon, started to notice some strange happenings, like how she was really mean to waitstaff, and also sometimes coughed up a snake, turtle, or comparable reptile. "Okay, I'm going to be extremely specific," the old woman said. "I was up last night looking at the shore, and I saw her, Osmo's sister. She's wearing the Chains of the Sea King, and, well, I had a brief thing with him back
43:43 Speaker 00 in the 80s, the 1680s, and he is a very specific kind of weird. He'll let you come up for three days in a row, which means tomorrow is her last day. And you need to kill her." The prince's eyes widened. "Oh, okay, wait. I'm sorry?" "That night, when Alona emerged from the water, she found Pilka there, cowering and growling. Alona hit the ground under the heavy chain that came at her from the darkness, and it knocked the wind out of her and kept her from screaming as the shadowed figure brought the scythe down on her silvery chain. The bells rang out, then disappeared into the water.
44:24 Speaker 00 As soon as she caught her breath, the air was forced out of her lungs again, because he jumped on her. He was on top of her and hugging her? Wow, you are beautiful," he said, and then grimaced as he held her tighter. "Was she not going to transform?" You know that kind of failsafe that the sea king put there? The prince opened his eyes, just as Alona felt the chains get looser. The prince, being lost in Alona's eyes, almost lost the fish as it flopped from the chains toward the water. Okay, he remembered what that elderly woman said. He winced, "Oh, this felt weird and wrong." He gripped the fish by its tail and slammed it against a rock until it stopped moving.
45:09 Speaker 00 That was gross and bad. The bird it turned into nearly escaped, taking to the air when the prince found he was grasping its tail feathers, snatching it with one hand and a half a dozen sticks with his dagger with the other, and it too was still. It didn't stay still, though, and turned into a long, writhing lizard that smacked the dagger out of his hand with its tail and made for the water. He picked up a rock on the shore and leapt atop that creature. After several more rounds, each with the creature growing smaller and weaker, the last buzzed in the air and the prince slapped the mosquito between his palms, opening them to see the smallest spot of blood and, in front of him,
45:51 Speaker 00 Alona's face as she woke up on the shore, back in her human form, taking it all in. At that moment, the prince loved her, and Alona loved him. The man who had gone through so much to save a woman he didn't know just because it was the right thing to do. Also, he was handsome and her age and a prince, which weren't the main things, but definitely factored into the love at first sight part. Taking her hand, he asked her to rise. They would go at once and have the false princess executed. She recoiled, "No, no, no, no." She remembered the boat. Those terrible things that the woman had brought out of her and warped until they became overwhelming. She didn't dare.
46:34 Speaker 00 The prince could see the terror and trauma in Alona's face. Okay, he understood. She only need wait until tomorrow, and then she could take her rightful place at his side.
46:55 Speaker 00 I didn't sign up for this, the Chamberlain said to the prince the following morning. The prince was tired but energized by the rest of his night's work. Is it secret? The prince ignored the man's objections. There was more going on than the Chamberlain understood. To explain it to him risked the whole plan being revealed and coming undone. Yes, the Chamberlain looked to the floor. Good, I'll lead her to it, the prince said, and threw open the doors as he heard the coughing. Freezing as a lizard flopped into the princess's hand. Felona turned around, shoved it back in her mouth, and spun to face the prince with a sneer. Where was he last night? You don't know? He said it was customary. Wow.
47:40 Speaker 00 Sorry, uh, he just thought it was something that all humans knew, but it was her sauna day, when the princess went to enjoy her first sauna as a human princess. And she was lauded and cheered by the city. Sauna? Felona squinted. Oh yeah, it's something all humans love. And then he narrowed his eyes. She did love it, right? Her being a human. Of course. I'm so human that my main question was almost, where is the sauna? Why haven't we been to the sauna? So really, I wonder if you're the human here? Su Yatir probably knew that she wasn't nailing this, but the prince pivoted with mock relief.
48:24 Speaker 00 Ooh, okay, good. Grab a towel. Sauna day was special? The prince trailing behind the princess noticed that she seemed very taken with the crowds, commenting that they really thought she was a human princess. Uh, because she was a human princess. She didn't know why she even said that, like, seven times. When they made it to the sauna, she was about to disrobe and step over the blue mat and into the sauna, when the prince said, hmm.
48:54 Speaker 00 What? Oh, no, it's just, it's a blue mat. Human princesses walk on blue mats and, I mean, you're a human princess, aren't you? The prince cocked his head. The humanist? She flashed a smile where two frog eyes peeked out from in between her teeth, and she stepped on the blue mat. Oh, so blue, so human. And then she dropped into a pit of boiling tar. The prince had learned from Alona not to listen to Suyeter. Not a word. So he immediately walked out of the sauna and locked the door as the burning tar, which is the only way to kill Suyeter, and she cried out from the locked room.
49:39 Speaker 00 There was no escape, but she could do one last hateful curse on her way out. Tearing out handfuls of her own hair, she threw them up above the pit, and they became moths, mosquitoes, and parasitic worms, heretofore nonexistent in the world, to trouble mankind forever. So, thanks, prince. While she screamed, the prince sent word to Osmo that he was to be released from the snakehouse and meet with him and Alona at the house of the old sage. When the prince arrived there, he embraced Alona and declared his love for her, and turned to Osmo. He was so sorry that he accused his friend of knowingly setting him up with Suyeter.
50:21 Speaker 00 Osmo said, yes, the prince was forgiven because he definitely had not done that, for sure, absolutely not. And then he turned, Alona. He rushed and embraced his sister and said he was so sorry. And she shook her head, no, it's, they both had been deceived. She knew that he would never say those things or leave her, and he promised no matter what, he would not pick up evil witch hitchhikers and also would stay by her side forever. You know, saying so many words to affirm your innocence just shows how honest you truly are, the prince said to Osmo. Also, his chamberlain had resigned in disgust that morning, thinking the prince was going blue beard and just murdering a wife
51:07 Speaker 00 that he found himself displeased by. So, the position was open if Osmo wanted to join. Osmo said that, well, he thought that's what he wanted, but his job as a shepherd was one that, just kidding, no, he hated his other job. Yes, he would be the chamberlain and hang out with them forever. And so the three lived happily ever after. And Alona, looking out on the cheering crowds after her wedding day, with her husband, the prince, her brother Osmo by her side, and Pilka at her feet, said that she was now, finally, happy that she left her family home.
51:53 Speaker 00 So that's the story for today. I will say I did flesh out Alona's character a little bit more in the original. Not only does she completely buy that all the things Osmo broke just fell apart, and so it was time to go, but also the boat bit, while distressing to write, was not as plainly insulting to the character, who, once again, according to the text, heard a stranger tell her that her brother said, "Jump", asked, "And are you sure? That sounds weird", and then jumped, just because her brother said so. To me, this story was stealthily about Alona finding agency and hope, and fighting back, both against some pretty powerful evil forces, and the pernicious cognitions that had been allowed to fester.
52:38 Speaker 00 And her winning on both accounts. Next week, there are some stories from Turkish folklore that were super fun to write. I'm really excited about this episode. But they're about people with big dreams, and the horrible things that happen when they're forced to both go after those dreams or give them up. So if you're on Instagram, I know we teased a big announcement today. I'm super sorry. Due to forces out of our control, we had to delay the announcement. And I just want to say, nothing to be maybe mentioned in the announcement is delayed. Wink, wink. So no worries there. But a few things just had to be finished up first. So stick with us here, the podcast, there, Instagram, and everywhere else, which is basically just Discord and sometimes Blue Sky at the moment, for any big updates.
53:23 Speaker 00 And trust me, there will be a lot of big updates this year.
53:35 Speaker 00 The creature this time is Jerua, from the Andaman Islands. If you've ever been out swimming and been hit by a cramp, I just wanna say, "It's not your fault." Sure, they told you not to go out swimming after eating like, six sandwiches, but we both know that that wasn't the reason for the cramp. The reason...was invisible spears. Spears thrown by the Jerua, of course. They go out and travel in underwater boats, and when they see swimmers or people fishing, they take aim in order to take you down...to consume your flesh. No worries, though, because they'll make sure to drown you first, which presumably is better than just cutting straight to the eating, but still admittedly not great.
54:17 Speaker 00 They live in underwater cities with their families, which is nice until you realize that going out for family lunch is stopping by a crowded beach. I've read stories that talk of this creature and its jungle counterpart as being the result of what happens to certain souls after a person dies. Not sure what made them so mad that they felt the need to ruin all of our days at the beach. Water spirits throwing invisible spears to kill and consume you is scary, and I know this because I'm a water coward who hates it when stuff brushes on my feet in the ocean. There are two ways to stay safe. One: don't go in the ocean. I mean, it's salty, and you're basically accidentally drinking fish toilet water every few minutes. But if you insist, there is a way to ward off the Jerua.
55:02 Speaker 00 A creeper, and no, but also yes, that would solve the problem of the monster hunting you, but it would also create the problem of you getting blown up. This creeper, though, is a plant. The Anodendron. Just wear it, and you can swim around all the evil water spirits trying to eat you that you want. Just hope that it doesn't fall off while you're swimming.
55:28 Speaker 00 That's it for this time. Myths and Legends is by Jason and Carissa Weiser. Our theme song is by Broke for Free, and the Creature of the Week music is by Steve Colmes. There are links to even more of the music we used in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.
55:50 Speaker 03 Ready to feel energized and in control again? At Orderly Med's, we have helped thousands just like you take charge of their health with a GLP-1. If you've tried dieting, exercising, and relying on willpower, and nothing seems to stick, then it might be time to talk to a licensed provider about your options. That's what Orderly Med's is for. This fall, choose healthier habits for yourself with a visit to orderlymeds.com. You don't need to visit with a physician in person to become eligible. Orderly Med's has a simple virtual process. Connect with licensed medical professionals who can determine whether a GLP-1 treatment may be appropriate for you wherever you are. Getting started from the comfort of home, online. Change your habits and consider a new approach to feeling your best. Visit orderlymeds.com to learn more.
56:34 Speaker 03 That's orderlymeds.com. Orderlymeds.com. Gain confidence and choose better habits this fall. Compounded medications are not FDA-approved. Eligibility required and determined by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary. See website for details.
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