445: Indian folklore: Fake It 'Til You Make It

💪There's something powerful about confidence. Except that, if you're not actually powerful...or generous...or deadly, pretending to be those things can get you in a lot of trouble. Only if you get caught, though. Three stories from South India of people who are faking it. 😈 The Creature: Okuri inu Look, everyone wants a dog to hang out with them on the dark, scary road at night and protect them from dangerous mythological creatures. The problem is the Okuri Inu only protects you so that it can eat you itself. --- 📖 The Book! Myths and Legends has our first book coming out on December 1st! FOR THE KING is a comprehensive retelling of Arthurian legend, focused on humanity and written for the modern age. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book, and preorders are a massive help to us. Check it out here: https://myths.link/preorder 📊 The Survey If you have a minute, we'd love your feedback on the show, and you can enter to win a monthly drawing of free memberships (must be 18 years old to enter to win the membership): https://myths.link/survey 🔗 Links: Membership: https://www.mythpodcast.com/membership Source: https://myths.link/sun Myths and Legends YouTube:https://myths.link/youtube 💬 Social: Discord: https://myths.link/discord Instagram: https://myths.link/instagram Bluesky: https://myths.link/bluesky --- 📢 Sponsors Granola: Once you try it on a first meeting, it's hard to go without. You can try it totally free—head to granola.ai/LEGENDS https://granola.ai/LEGENDS Quince: Find the fall pieces you’ll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com https://quince.com/. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Myths and Legends! --- 🎵 Music Credits Picaroo by Blue Dot Sessions Smooth Edges by Blue Dot Sessions Alright but here's the problem by Breakmaster Cylinder All Those Fragile Little Pieces by Breakmaster Cylinder

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This week on Myths and Legends, there are three stories from India about how, if you do something wrong, you should just come clean. Unless you truly hate your husband's friends, or you just gave away your life savings to a con man, or if you think you might just not get caught. The creature this week is that nice dog who's just looking out for you on the road, mainly because he wants to eat you, yes, but there are fringe benefits, like nothing else out there being able to eat you.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  This is Myths and Legends, episode 445, Fake It Till You Make It. This is a podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore. Some are incredibly popular tales you might think you know, but with surprising origins. Others are stories that might be new to you, but are definitely worth a listen. Today, as I mentioned, there are three stories from India, likely from South India and the modern day state of Tamil Nadu. These stories come from a collection compiled by Tamil scholar, Nitesha Shastry, translated to English by Georgiana Kingscote, and published in Victorian era England. On the first story, we have Ishwara, a man who has been tasked with delivering cakes

• 1:23Speaker 00

  from his wife...to his wife. Ishwara was getting tired. He had been walking most of the day, and he still had most of a day's walk to go. But the current day was waning and, with it, his will to keep going. Coming up to a wide spot in the creek, he figured that was a good enough place to stop for the night. He could take a cool dip, eat some cakes, and sleep under the stars, which was what he did. I've never eaten cake in a bath, but it sounds amazing. Ishwara studied the cakes.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  There were the ones wrapped up for him, and the ones prepared for his wife. Prepared for his wife? By his wife. It was weird that wife one made cakes for wife two. Now that Ishwara had some time to reflect on it, he always thought she hated wife two, though Ishwara supposed he only had circumstantial evidence to support that assertion. He and wife one had been together for years, unable to conceive. It wasn't that he wanted to marry a beautiful young woman as a second wife, but, you know, society places certain expectations and demands on him, and his burden to bear was marrying this second beautiful woman and vigorously trying to have a child with her.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  It worked, too, because she was six months pregnant and had gone to be with her mother in the final months of her pregnancy. In the time since his second marriage, his first wife had been sullen, but after doing a Netflix murder documentary binge and taking notes—which seemed weird to Ishwara, but everyone needs a hobby—she got into baking. She never seemed to even try her creations and wouldn't let Ishwara eat them, either, instead leaving them out for birds and squirrels and then watching intently to see how they liked them. Anyway, it was her idea for Ishwara to go visit wife number two, and she even baked a bunch of cakes special for her, which Ishwara was not allowed to touch at all.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  His were wrapped up, and while he was tempted, he didn't want to snap that first olive branch that wife one was extending. After his bath, Ishwara walked to the shed by the roadside, built a fire, and unfroiled his bedroll. Sleep took him almost as soon as he laid down. "Hup, hup, hup," the guys carrying the princess's bed cried out as they marched down the road. "Guys, please," the bandit leader pointed to the sleeping Brahmin, Ishwara, snoring in the shed.

• 4:20Speaker 00

  They nodded. "Oh, sorry. Hup, hup, hup." "Actually, this is a good place to stop for the night. We're far enough out," the bandit leader whispered, and they set the princess's bed down. Everyone must have been exhausted because the princess, too, did not wake up with the commotion of either having her bed carried out of the palace, past the dozen or so guards that the bandits had pre-slaying for a problem-free exit, but also after being carried for a few miles on the road by said bandits. The nearby king had been looking for a match for his daughter, and the local bandit leader had thrown his name in for consideration. Honestly, it was not as outlandish as it seemed. The bandit was strong, handsome, a principled man who, had he been born into wealth and

• 5:03Speaker 00

  a family where he could be considered for the princess's hand and hadn't been a bandit, he would have been earnestly considered for the princess's hand. As it was, he was laughed out of the palace. This was a bad idea on the king's part. Instead of waking up with a horse's head in his bed, the king would wake up with several heads strewn about his palace and no princess nor bed in her room, because he had stormed the castle and kidnapped her. The bandit leader didn't need the extra contingent of bandits that brought his number up to 100, but you could never be too prepared. When one of his guys, doing a little unofficial banditry that demonstrated initiative and ambition, found the serendipitous 100 cakes in the metal container next to the sleeping

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Brahmin, he knew that it was a perfect celebration for a perfect night. Distributing the cakes to everyone, he toasted them all, thanked them for their service and loyalty, and said he didn't think of them as a band of murderous bandits, but a family of murderous bandits. As they ate the cakes, they remarked that these cakes tasted a little bitter. Huh. Weird. Ishwara stretched. Wow.

• 6:29Speaker 00

  For approaching middle age and sleeping on the ground, he felt fantastic. He needed to get out and exercise more. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he looked around the shed. Oh, better be quiet. This place had become a lot more popular in the night. In fact, it looked like 100 guys were sleeping here. Wow, someone even brought their own bed, a princess bed. Swanky. In the process of gathering up his things, Ishwara noticed, okay, this was too much. His cakes were gone. Not just gone, but they were crumbs in the mouths of all the men sleeping around him. Someone had lifted the cakes meant for his pregnant second wife and just distributed them among the travelers.

• 7:14Speaker 00

  He kicked the man next to him who didn't move. Oh, he shouldn't pretend like he was sleepy now. He had cakes to answer for. This man and all of his friends were going to explain not just to his pregnant wife, but to his first wife, whose gesture of goodwill they had just ruined. "Yeah, I can see you there. You're not even doing a good job of faking sleep. Your eyes are open, with flies landing on them." And then Ishwara looked around. All these guys were really heavy sleepers, except for the one in the princess bed. Wait a second. These weren't just travelers on the road enjoying stolen cakes.

• 7:52Speaker 00

  These were bandits, and they had kidnapped the princess. "You, sir, are a hero," the king said to Ishwara. Ishwara only bowed. He would never say such a thing, but if the king wanted to, he certainly wouldn't stop the man or anyone else who wanted to throw it around and tell their friends. The princess and Ishwara had an audience with the king, who was out at the head of his army. Said army was dragging the bodies of the robbers to a pile. "How did you do it?

• 8:32Speaker 00

  How did you fight and behead 100 kidnappers on a single night to save my daughter's life?" the king asked, looking over what remained of the fearsome bandits with their 80s action star physiques. Grit? Moxie? Ishwara's paunch jiggled as he shrugged. Just pure, uncut, unbridled manliness and heroism pressed and focused into this unassuming, yet dangerous form. The princess was positively hanging off Ishwara's side. She had a whole emotional journey that morning. Having awoken in her bed in the woods with robbers all around her, only to find them all beheaded and Ishwara standing nearby with a bloody sword? Ishwara didn't know what happened, but made some educated guesses about the princess

• 9:17Speaker 00

  being kidnapped, and said all the right things at exactly the right time so the princess, when her father's army marched along the road on their way to rescue her, flagged them down and told them of her hero's valor. The king, clasping Ishwara on the shoulder, invited the man back to his kingdom to live. What do you say, son?

• 9:49Speaker 00

  I have gotten distracted before. I feel like going to take cakes to your pregnant wife, but then getting married to a third, even younger, royal wife because you sawed off 100 guys' heads after you accidentally poisoned them. Well, I wanted to give Ishwarah the benefit of the doubt when it came to the wife thing. But he's starting to kind of feel like a bit of an opportunist when it comes to piling on more wives, while currently unable to devote time and attention to the two wives he already has at homes. Anyway, they were married. And if Ishwarah was an opportunist, he had nothing on his new father-in-law. Ishwarah may look like a schlubby, middle-aged husband,

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  but if he killed 100 jacked robbers, then one teensy, little, man-eating lioness was nothing. And yeah, there was something of an open secret in the kingdom. A Hercules-tier lion lurked in the forest. But this one was actually a little more impressive because unlike the Nemeanian lion, this one didn't need invincible skin. She was doing just fine with her normal lion skin. They had worked out something of a truce with her. Each week, the king would draw lots and a different person would be encouraged to take a walk in the forest outside of town. Just a nice walk in the woods. When they made it back, there would be cake and juice. There was never cake and juice.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  But now, they had what was probably a god walking among them. And he was obviously meant to deliver them from the lioness. Ishwarah knew that if he refused this, at best, he would be cast out. At worst, he would be executed for defrauding the princess and king. So he made a list of weapons and, climbing the banyan tree that demarcated the area where the lioness usually took her meals, he waited. Seeing as he was the only one who knew the assignment before going into the woods, he bravely cowered at the fringes. Peeking through the leaves, Ishwarah saw the lioness approach and knew that he made a terrible mistake. She was hungry and likely annoyed

• 12:02Speaker 00

  that she had to walk so close to the human city to get her meal. Sniffing around the banyan tree, she seemed to know someone had been there, but they weren't there anymore. Ishwarah didn't even dare to breathe up there in the tree. A rustle of leaves or a foot losing its grip on the bark, even for a moment, would draw her attention. Now, she was circling to sit directly underneath him. It was at that moment that Ishwarah knew that he would not be leaving this forest alive. His hands began to tremble. His beard began to drink his tears one by one. Ishwarah chastised himself. He was a vain, foolish man. He had a good life. He should have told the truth to the king and the princess.

• 12:47Speaker 00

  But he was a bad man, playing with forces he couldn't even comprehend. Ishwarah was so out of his depth that he couldn't even cower correctly. The lioness throwing her head back and looking up in the tree made him think of her spotting him. And that fleeting thought made his hand tremble so much that he dropped the sword he was holding. Bluting out the most pathetic, terrified squeak, he watched the sword fall toward the lioness. He winced, knowing that at best, it would bonk her side and she would be alerted. There was no hiding now, no way to get away. Ishwarah knew that it wouldn't be painless, but he prayed his fate would be quick.

• 13:32Speaker 00

  But there was no scrambling to pause and scratching at bark. There wasn't a snarl and a feverish pacing below. There wasn't anything. After a few moments, Ishwarah dared to open his eyes and, well, one in a million, sort of belies just how incredibly lucky Ishwarah was to be so terrified that he involuntarily dropped the sword at the exact moment the lioness yawned directly underneath the sword. Even though the lioness didn't move after that yawn and was effectively kebabed right below Ishwarah, it still took the man about 15 minutes to trust that she was actually dead and wasn't just taking a nap with a sword in her mouth and eyes open.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  When he finally climbed down, he drew his sword from the lioness's mouth and began slicing at her in random spots to make it look like a fight. He might have remembered his vows to himself and his hasty prayers he made in the tree, but next time. This was a gift. And if it came down to it, he would tell the king and the princess about the very sleepy bandits and the freakishly lucky sword-swallowing lioness. But next time, if it ever came up again, he would totally come clean. Then, he called out to anyone still with an earshot that he did it. Ishwarah, the hero, killed the lioness that had been terrorizing everyone. He was hero waiting their praise.

• 15:11Speaker 00

  We'll see if Ishwarah makes the right choice when he has the opportunity to again. But that will be right after this. So this, this podcast, is my full-time job, and it can be a lot to juggle. We sometimes have meetings with people. And while I'm grateful that the podcast pays the bills, it's not at the point where we can hire assistants to log everything we talk about and make meeting notes and action items. A lot of the people we talk to do have the money to do that. So asking about something we talked about three times on the call or blowing past a deadline I forgot to write down is both embarrassing and affects our livelihood. That's why I'm super happy I found Granola. Granola is an AI-powered notepad that makes your meeting notes useful.

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• 16:39Speaker 00

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• 17:22Speaker 00

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• 18:08Speaker 00

  Really, it was a show of more faith that he kept trusting the gods to get him out of this. Sure, Ishwarah could have come clean about everything, yes. But that was really hard to do. And if he was gonna die, he might as well die the hero they all believed him to be and not vilified for being who he actually was. This was what Ishwarah told himself as he rode for war. When he returned from the incident with the lioness, the whole kingdom sang his praises, and he let them because it felt very nice. He was the son-in-law to the king, heir apparent, rich beyond his wildest dreams, and the food here was just fantastic.

• 18:49Speaker 00

  How was he to know the king immediately halted payments to a nearby emperor? If Ishwarah could have advised his father-in-law, he would have said, maybe hold off like five or six decades? There were a lot of political complexities, you know? But dad just saw the money he could save him by sending his apparently invincible son-in-law to war with Emperor Apaya, who, with his army encamped just beyond the river, had now come to make an example of the king. To call what Ishwarah was doing riding to war was a little generous. He wasn't even holding on for dear life. The horse was treating him, tied to the saddle, like a rag doll it was desperately trying to fling from its back.

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  The king, who knew he knew a hero when he saw one, but evidently didn't, had just the horse for his son-in-law, the biggest, wildest, strongest horse in his entire kingdom. Ishwarah, to his credit, not only knew what type of warrior he was, a not-good one, but knew what type of rider he was. When, on attempt four of helping Ishwarah getting on the horse, Ishwarah had servants prepared with cotton ropes. They quickly tied Ishwarah to the saddle, and the man, without even the illusion of control, rode the horse as the horse went the only direction that was open to it: the river and the encamped army. Imagine a less dignified drunken mechanical bull

• 20:16Speaker 00

  ride, and you're approaching what Ishwarah was dealing with. Very nearly passing out from being whipped this way and that, Ishwarah flopped on the horse as the animal made for the river. If the horseback ride was rough, what happened when the horse carried Ishwarah through the water was nearly intolerable. The cotton swelled, and where it didn't bite into his legs, it constricted. Ishwarah had been prepared for glorious death in battle, and if he was gonna be tortured anyway, he might as well try his hand with just telling the truth. Leaning to his side as much as he could, Ishwarah was gonna try to catch a nearby palm ira tree, a type of palm tree, to hopefully pull himself from the saddle and run back to the city, or jungle, or even defect. He wasn't particular.

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  The problem, besides this being a very nice way to pull himself in half, is that a storm had come through recently, and the reason the palm ira tree was angled so much that he could grab it was because it was uprooted. Like a mother lifting a car off their child, in moments of sheer adrenaline, Ishwarah's body could do amazing things, too. He wasn't trying to save his child, though his child had absolutely been born by now. He was just trying to avoid the consequences of his actions. He held on to the tree with all of his strength, and then considerably more, and the tree tore from the ground. Ishwarah, his mind awash in pain, didn't let go of the tree, but dragged it behind the horse, who did not slow.

• 21:45Speaker 00

  Not caring how heroic he looked anymore, Ishwarah began to shriek and cry in pain, saying, "Apa, aya," or, I guess, according to the translation, "Oh, ah." Somewhere, in a corner of his mind not electrified with agony, Ishwarah knew that not only was this the end, but it was not a good look.

• 22:14Speaker 00

  This looked terrifying. Emperor Apaya, hearing the call from his generals and then hearing the challenge from the king's champion, froze. From atop the biggest, wildest horse any of them had ever seen, a man wheeled at a palm tree as he rode against them. For this man, there was no stopping to talk, no discussing terms. In front of the plume of dirt filling the air from the palm tree dragged on the ground, this man, this god, was calling him by name. When he said, "Apa, aya," the emperor knew he had moments to make his decision. Any men who would stand in his way would get batted away like balls. The king thought that perhaps he could ride out and answer this challenge,

• 22:58Speaker 00

  and he knew that he had the might of his army behind him, but this man was charging ahead with a singular focus, and he was fighting with a tree. Emperor Apaya knew that he might have a big army at his back, but he also knew, to quote Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle, "That crazy beats big, every time." The emperor leapt atop his horse and rode in a one-man retreat. Everyone else, following their leader's example and also not wanting to fight a demigod-tier hero, abandoned their camps and either mounted horses of their own or just broke and ran. When the horse finally made it to camp, that camp had been abandoned. While not broken, the horse, seeing that he

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  couldn't get Ishwarah off his back, calmed. When the king's army, led by Ishwarah's father-in-law, finally arrived, he was beside himself with gratitude. The kingdom and its people were forever in Ishwarah's debt. After they cut Ishwarah's lined and bruised legs from the saddle, he muttered something about how if it ever came up again, he would definitely do it, and collapsed.

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  There were parades and feasts for days. First, for the defeat of the emperor, and how much the king, and therefore the people, would save in tribute payments. That being said, the king wasn't legally obligated to give back the tribute payments he had already collected from his people, so he wouldn't be doing so. The next feast was for the entry of Ishwarah's first and second wives. Both of them surprised to hear that he was now heir apparent to the kingdom and also a once-in-a generation hero, not least of all his first wife, who had been racked with guilt from the day Ishwarah had left. For the first time in her life, she was so, so happy to see Ishwarah's second wife and her son, living and healthy and, most importantly, living.

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  When they arrived in the throne room to see their paunchy and balding husband arrayed in the kingdom's best fineries, they were confused, but decided that there would not be any questions. There would, however, be confessions. The first wife rushed to her husband and, weeping, cried that she was so happy to see him and that she was so sorry. "Why?" Ishwarah had to laugh. She had always been loving and faithful. If anything, he should now be sorry for disappearing for six months and becoming a prince, even though they were now all basically set for life. "I was so consumed with jealousy," she said through tears, "with rage at her, my own fate, and most of all, you, that I wanted you and her

• 25:51Speaker 00

  to feel my pain. It, the hundred cakes I gave you for her." They, Ishwarah immediately made the connection that those bandits on the first night of his travels were not just heavy sleepers. They, "I forgive you," he cut her off. She said she really felt like she had to tell him that she was gonna pull-- "No, no, no, nope. No, you do not. I forgive you, but only if words stop coming out of your mouth at this moment," Ishwarah said, and stopped. So did the first wife. They both looked at each other with confusion and terror, but it held. After what the rest of the room read as a brief staring contest, Ishwarah nodded at his wife, and she nodded back. All good.

• 26:34Speaker 00

  Ishwarah, dedicated to absolutely 100% coming clean with his dad-in-law and wife-- well, one of each, anyway-- decided to do so. If it ever came up again, for real this time. But he never had to, because with the lioness, the emperor, and the bandits gone, the kingdom had a string of uninterrupted peace, which Ishwarah read as fortune and, more importantly, the gods favoring him. So there was nothing to actually confess, anyway. The end.

• 27:15Speaker 00

  This is very much like the grim story, "The Brave Little Tailor," episode 29, but said in India, with many more beheadings in lioness kebabs. I'm a sucker for an unlikely, undeserved hero either twisting events, like "The Brave Little Tailor," or, like Ishwarah, Mr. Magooing himself into a legendary tale. The next story today is one of a wife who just is so tired of her husband's annoying friends, but apparently he gets angry if she stands at the door and yells at them to go away. So she'll have to think of a more clever, more permanent fix.

• 28:06Speaker 00

  The wife hated her husband's friends. Her husband blamed it on their incompatibility, that the gods had somehow matched them together, and he was easygoing, and she was uptight, and, ugh. Yeah, he would be uptight, too, if someone came home from a day spent doing who-knows-what to tell him to have a meal ready, and on the table in under an hour, because, yet again, a doofus friend was coming over, and he would be expected to serve them. He should have a week of that and see how easygoing he was. That was, again, the case tonight. He dropped by to tell her to have food on the table because a very special guest was coming. He, the husband, was gonna go bathe in the river. She groaned and began cooking. A special guest, yeah.

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  A special guest meant that she couldn't do her usual tactic of yelling at the man who showed up at her door until he got confused and ran away, which was a nice way to solve more than a few of these problems. If she did that with a special guest, there would be issues between her and her husband. No, she would have to be more clever with this one. She finished up the dinner. It wasn't really the dinner. It was the imposition and the assumption that she never had anything she wanted to do. No, this had to stop, and then she had an idea. Grabbing a pestle and running outside, she returned with it carrying a few globs of cow dung she found in the street. She dragged it across the ground until it made a few faint lines and some arcane-looking nonsense symbols and whatnot.

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  Before wiping the dung off and placing it on a pedestal, flecking it with a few red spices and surrounding it with flowers and burning candles, she heard a knock at the door. "Yelling for the visitor to come in!" The wife turned to the pestle and started murmuring gibberish, but magical, scary-sounding gibberish, like the stuff Katulu says. She could feel the presence of the man standing in the doorway and heard him sniff the air a few times. Turning, she looked confused. "Oh, who, who was he?" The man introduced himself with a head nod. He said he worked with her husband, if this was the right house. Squinting at the pestle surrounded by candles and flowers, he stroked his beard.

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  "What did all the symbols on the ground and the pestle up there mean? And was she bowing to it? Praying in the language of the old ones?" The wife laughed. "Oh, yes. Some might say it was a wackadoo belief system. In truth, when she first got married, it wasn't really her thing. It was something imposed on her by her husband, but impose he did. If the man at the door had a moment, could she speak to him about pestle worship? And how the great pestle had a plan for his life, too?" The man blinked and swallowed. "Um, okay." Fantastic. You see, have you ever wondered if there was more to life than just working, sleeping, eating, and spending?

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  She paused long enough to make him think it wasn't a rhetorical question, and then cut him off at the moment he started speaking for maximum discomfort. "Well, so have I. Then, my husband introduced me to pestle worship." She turned back to the pestle and, with more guttural, garbled gibberish, bowed low. Turning back to him, she continued, "He told me that there's a goddess that has very beautiful feet," the wife said, and furrowed her brow before continuing again. "The feet are not the main point, but they are a specific point that we never fail to recognize." "I asked one time if we worship at her feet, and he always makes a point to say, 'No, we worship her feet.'"

• 31:40Speaker 00

  "Anyway, she asks very little of us in return for her blessings: only blood." "What?" "Yes. You see the pestle? Well, my husband uses it to break the head of someone in honor of the goddess. Every evening, as soon as he returns from his bath, he takes the pestle," she broke for more gibberish before continuing, "which I am ordered to keep at the ready for him, and he breaks the head of any human being he was able to get a hold of by inviting the fool to a meal." The man at the door was wide-eyed and began to tremble. Looking him over, the wife grew concerned.

• 32:20Speaker 00

  "Oh, oh, no. He wasn't just some curious traveler that the great goddess with the beautiful feet brought by to learn about the virtues of pestle worship, was he? He, ah, he was the guest tonight. He was the tribute to the goddess." "What? He means to kill me?" The man's voice cracked as he looked around for something, anything he could use to defend himself. "This has been happening more and more," the wife said, frowning. "Originally, it was only people who sacrificed themselves for the goddess. Recently, though, he's been bringing back people who don't know about pestle worship. He says that the goddess likes their fear, that it makes her feet more pungent." Panic grew on the face of the guest. "Okay, okay, I can help you," she said.

• 33:03Speaker 00

  "His baths are meticulous. So he's just about due to return. If you go out the front, he'll see you and try to drag you back in. If he's not outside already, you need to go out the back, but don't run. Slip into the street and walk casually. Draw no attention to yourself. Please, please escape. I don't want to kill again." She turned and bowed to the pestle, waiting until she heard the back door shut to rise, uncover the basin of water, and get to work. In moments, the pestle and the floor were washed, and the table was set. Drying the pestle and clutching it to her side, the front door opened and her husband, his drying hair already curling in the humidity, was beaming. Then he was confused.

• 33:47Speaker 00

  "His friend went to the bath house, so he really should be here already." The husband started to turn, but stopped when the wife cried out that, "Oh, he came already, the greedy brute. He wanted me to give him this pestle, this very pestle, which I brought 40 years ago as a dowry from my mother's house." She held up the pestle. "So what? This is like the second time I've seen that pestle, and the first time I've heard you talk about it. What happened to him?" "I refused. He was so insulted, apparently, that he left. He just walked out the back door in haste." She shrugged. "Wha- Do you have any idea what this dinner means to me? Give him this stupid pestle, I'll buy you another one," the man growled, and then wrenched it from his wife's hands.

• 34:32Speaker 00

  She put on her best fake cry as he stomped out toward the back door and then followed to watch. Out on the street, the guest hadn't gotten far when the husband emerged and spotted him. "Sir, sir, please come back," he yelled. The wife shook her head when the man looked back. If he really was trying to save his life, he wasn't doing a good job at it. "Sir, sir, I see you. Stop. Come back and take the pestle," the husband yelled. The guest in the street screeched and bolted. With the husband running after him, the wife went in to enjoy a nice, solitary meal. A half hour of searching the street, pestle in hand, the husband returned after not being able to find the guest. For some reason, after word got around about the pestle,

• 35:16Speaker 00

  no one wanted a coming at their house ever again.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  We'll talk about all these at the end, because there is a unifying theme. We'll end today's episode on the story of a con man from heaven, but that will, once again, be right after this. Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids, but what about protecting them? Outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, baby gates, where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. Progressive offers customized coverage options, so you can be sure you have the right coverage for you and your loved ones. They're basically the outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, and baby gates of insurance. Don't wait. Get your quote today at progressive.com.

• 36:17Speaker 00

  Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates, and other insurers. Not available in all states.

• 36:23Speaker 01

  Hey, I'm Niall Rogers, producer, songwriter, guitarist, and co-founder of the group Sheik. A great song has a way of defining a moment, a moment of joy, heartbreak, or anything in between.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  This fall, I'll be driving across the country, dropping in on some of the coolest, most fascinating artists working today. We'll go deep into their lives and careers and hear what it was like before the moment that made them. From hitmakers like Miguel...

• 36:57Speaker 02

  That last year, finishing that record was the hardest experience of my life, regardless of how everyone else buys into this. I believe in this, and I'm gonna push.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  To rising stars like Alex Warren.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  You know, a song is a story, and the verse is setting the scene. And for me, at least, it's allowing me to be personal and vulnerable with the audience, whether it's about my wife and I'm being vulnerable about her, or it's about, you know, my parents and I'm being vulnerable to them. And it's almost like a cinematic piece in a way where each song tells that beautiful story.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  It's gonna be one hell of a trip. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln Original Series on the iHeartRadio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  Hey, it's Lunchbox from the Bobby Bones Show. Buy smart, drive for less, and trade for more. That's Toyota affordability, and it starts with a great deal on an all-wheel-drive Camry, Corolla Cross, or a Corolla sedan with the latest features in tech. Or test drive a spacious Grand Highlander or an adventure-ready RAV4. And with so many hybrid models available, you can enjoy longer trips without all the stops, while Toyota's legendary resale value means you could get more at trade-in. Get a deal today and great value tomorrow. Shop toyota.com for deals and details. Toyota, let's go places.

• 38:20Speaker 05

  Come on and get happy with Happy GLP. At just $99 a month, Happy GLP gives you one set price every month. No tiers, no tricks. Getting started with Happy GLP is fast, convenient, and happens virtually with a licensed provider. Check it out for yourself at happyglp.com. That's happyglp.com. A happy price for a happier you. Compounded medications are not FDA-approved. Eligibility required and determined by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary. See website for details.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  People called him a beggar. He wasn't a beggar. They just didn't understand his true profession. He read people and got them to do what he wanted. Yes, it did involve some occasional begging, but that was a small part, not the main part. Except for today, today, he was indeed begging. He watched from the forest as the man left for work to ride through and inspect his fields and whatnot. The wife stood at the door, a saccharine, doe-eyed look on her face as she watched him go. The husband, in the week the man had been watching them, permanently wore a scowl and never looked back. When he was gone, she closed the door and went about her day.

• 39:47Speaker 00

  The people around, from the few drinks he had at the tavern and the chit-chat with the vendors in the street, had a low opinion of her. Well, they had a low opinion of both of them, but for different reasons. They considered her a foolish little woman, and that might be so, but it probably wasn't entirely her. She was kept, cut off, cloistered, like she was another one of his little treasures that no one was allowed to see. And he, the husband, did have many treasures. He was miserly, and if the stories were to be believed, he stored up all manner of gold, jewels, and coins in that house of his. The beggar watched him go about his business, but the couple subsisted on the meanest, barest of foods.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  She kept their clothes in use until they were threadbare, and their house was little more than the shack they had moved into when they first wed. But it was the payouts that ultimately piqued the interest of the man watching them from across the street. Apparently, not too long ago either, the woman had been generous, ridiculously generous to anyone who came to the door asking anything of her. Keeping her so far from the world and even their own finances, the husband was somehow livid that she would give so much away to beggars. He forbade her to give away more, and as such, the people stopped coming, until today, that is. The man emerged from the woods and entered the town down the street. His hobble and his wavering gait became more pronounced the closer he got to the house,

• 41:15Speaker 00

  and when he crossed in front of their property and knew that she was watching, he staggered and dropped. He laid, unmoving, for 10 seconds before she rushed up to him. She helped him to his feet, and together, they walked inside.

• 41:49Speaker 00

  Forgive me for collapsing like that and disturbing your peace. This is not a form to which I am accustomed. I do not come from here and I am not used to the needs of people, the beggar said between hungry slurps of the drink. No need to apologize, I'm just glad I could help. What do you mean, though, that you are not used to the needs of people? Her face was a tapestry of confusion and concern. Oh, right. Daughter, I come from Kailash, the sacred mountain abode of Shiva, where he lives with his consort Parvati and their sons Ganesh and Kartikeya. I am but a servant of the supreme yogi. The beggar smiled. The wife gasped. Wow, that was unbelievable!

• 42:30Speaker 00

  He studied her while still maintaining his guise, to ensure that she found it unbelievable in the figurative sense. She did. She said she heard of the pilgrimages and the stories of the holy mountain from her parents when they were alive, but to meet someone who actually lived there? She wanted to know all about it. So he told her about it. The Myriad beauties, the peaceful, grand land, the dwellers on Shiva's perfect mountain. Oh, who dwells there? She asked, and he rattled off a dozen names. At the last ones, she gasped again. Those were her parents, her in-laws at least, who had treated her like their very own for as long as they had been alive.

• 43:14Speaker 00

  Tears rimmed her eyes. She... this was wonderful news, she believed, of course, but to hear confirmation that her parents were thriving in an afterlife, it brought solace to her mind and her heart. Even for a con man who had done some pretty solid intelligence gathering over the past few days, enough to learn the names of the man's parents at least, felt a pang of remorse at this next bit, though with despair came hope, at least for her. The wince was a genuine one. Daughter, I do not wish to misrepresent the nature of things, and I must ask your apologies, as I have not used your words in some time and they feel awkward and unwieldy on my tongue.

• 43:53Speaker 00

  They... if these people are your parents, they are not, as you say, thriving in the afterlife. She didn't understand. The traveler took a, once again, genuine, deep breath to fortify himself. Even in my language, there are no words to describe their miseries in the other world. They have not even a rag to cover themselves. For the last six days, they have eaten nothing. They have lived only on water. We cannot die again, but we can also starve. Why? She asked. Why should they suffer when she has plenty to eat? Why should they go naked when we can buy more clothes? She rose without waiting for an answer and went to the other room.

• 44:36Speaker 00

  Returning, she came out with two boxes, all her clothes and all her husband's clothes, for when the traveler returned to his home on Kailash. This is too much, he said, actually wondering how he was gonna carry all this. It's not just for them, she replied. If they are suffering, then others there are as well. Distribute them to all in need. This, she handed him the jewelry box, should go to mother. It was hers, anyway. I am stunned by your kindness, the traveler said, and they will be grateful, but clothes cannot fill empty stomachs. Right, she said, and thought about it for a moment. Here! She made a quick trip to the other room and returned with she and her husband's cash box, their savings.

• 45:19Speaker 00

  She told the traveler to open his coat. After giving him messages to send her parents, to let them know how their daughter-in-law and son were getting on in the world, she walked into the edge of town, waved goodbye, and turned to return home. As soon as she was out of sight behind him, the traveler sprinted as fast as he could away from the village. He had spent too much time on the roos, though it had paid off and the husband would return on horseback soon.

• 45:59Speaker 00

  Alright, yep, love you! The husband poured on the sweetness to his wife, while he turned his horse to take the north road out of town. So proud, so happy she had given away all his clothes and almost all their money. He wasn't happy, of course, to come home from riding and inspecting his lands to destitution at the hands of a con man. She was beaming when she told him of the visitor from Kailash, of how his parents and her in-laws were in a terrible plight, but she had helped them by giving away their clothes and money. After she started pivoting to the defensive, when, initial rage subsiding, he demanded to know which way the traveler went, she made it clear that he might not believe her, but

• 46:41Speaker 00

  he would not be stopping her from helping his own parents in the afterlife. He swallowed his anger into some form of migraine, ulcer, or both, and said, of course not. Frown softening, he said he believed her. He only wanted to know because he didn't want the man to get too far. He wanted to send some more news to his parents, too, so she told him which road the man took. And, minutes later, the husband was galloping through town, then away from it. It wasn't difficult to catch up with the rogue. About forty-five minutes outside of town, by the grove of trees, huffing under the weight of his haul, he swore when he saw the husband riding up, shouting at him.

• 47:22Speaker 00

  Apparently seeing nowhere to go but up, the man, lathered in sweat after bolting in a coat weighing dozens of pounds, gripped the branches of an ashvatha tree and pulled himself to a temporary safety in its leaves. Come down from there, the husband demanded. Give me back what you stole and I won't tell the authorities. This was a lie, he was of course gonna tell the authorities as soon as he rode back into town. I stole nothing. Your kind-hearted wife gave all of this to me for your parents, the leaves called back, and I cannot come down, for this is the way to Kailash. No, it's not, the husband yelled back. Seriously, just calm down.

• 48:03Speaker 00

  I will bid you goodbye now, for I shall disappear, pier, pier. The husband took a deep breath and weighed his options. If he went back to town a forty-eight minute ride, the man would be gone in the nearby forest by the time he returned for help. There was no other way than to go up the tree after him. Bridle looped around the branches of a nearby tree. The husband did some quick stretches. He hadn't been climbing in, well, ever, but the branches were low and thick, so he would probably be okay. Walking under the tree, the rogue at the top with the boxes propped on the highest branch and his coat swollen with the family's life savings froze when he saw the husband.

• 48:47Speaker 00

  I thought you were gonna disappear, pier, pier. The husband smiled, the smile of the just, rolled up his sleeves, and got to climbing. Oh, I'll disappear, and when I do, you'll be shocked and amazed. I'll be gone so fast, you'll wonder if I was here at all, the man at the top said. The husband didn't say a word, not just because he couldn't think of a pithy rejoinder, but because he was very out of breath. Climbing is hard, and he was more than a little terrified of falling. He climbed until he was nearly within an arm's reach of the rogue, the bandit, and, finally breaking, the traveler said, fine, here. He tipped the boxes and they fell from the top branch, splintering but not breaking when they hit the ground.

• 49:32Speaker 00

  The man slipped from his coat and, wrapping it, dropped it to the ground, too. The husband groaned. Why? Why couldn't he have done that ten minutes ago when he was on the ground? Because you were on the ground, the man said, grinned and, unburdened, seemed to dart like a monkey, first to the branches below the husband and then down the tree. In moments, everything was reversed. The rogue was on the ground and the husband was in the tree. The husband started his descent, cursing the man's name, the things he would do when he caught this guy, but he wouldn't be catching this guy. The next time he looked down, the bandit was neither standing at the base of the tree

• 50:15Speaker 00

  taunting him, nor running for the forest. He was untying the horse's bridle. No, the husband yelled, but it didn't matter. After loading everything on the horse, the man leapt atop it himself and spurred it on toward the forest in the distance. Not wanting to add injury to insult, and knowing that there was no way, with that much of a head start on horseback he would ever catch the thief, the husband carefully picked his way down the tree. It was a two-hour walk back to town, and his wife greeted him at the door with tears, smiles, and an embrace. She never knew such generosity lived inside her husband. To send away his very horse to Kailash, to be used by his father.

• 50:59Speaker 00

  The husband, forcing a smile, said, yep, definitely, that's absolutely what happened. The story ends with a saying. Some there are in this world who, though they may never willingly give anything to anyone, are happy to pretend to have done so when, by their own foolishness, they happen to lose it.

• 51:36Speaker 00

  What I think is really interesting about these stories is that people kind of decide what's real and then make the events fit into what they've already decided. Basically, the psychological concept of confirmation bias. Not to moralize, because these are not morality tales, but some things that stood out to me are just, I don't know, kind of watch out for stories, if that makes sense, because they have real power. In these three tales, everyone heard a story, and instead of using what happened next to challenge it, they just sort of absorbed the events and used it as evidence that proved the story. If you're not primed to think that the guy riding against you is a demigod hero, you

• 52:16Speaker 00

  see a man clinging to a tree crying on horseback as "a man clinging to a tree crying on horseback." Or if you haven't accepted the ridiculous story about your friend being a peso-wielding murderer, you would read a buddy running after you in the street as a welcome sign, not a threat to your life. Or in the third story, the wife was so caught up that her parents were essentially in heaven and that she could help them, that she didn't question anything else about the man's story. Just, I guess, be aware of the stories you're being told. Also, the most powerful stories here are the ones that flatter the characters, like Ishwaran and the third husband and the wife. The stories we're told about how awesome we are are often the ones that will challenge

• 52:57Speaker 00

  the least and maybe end up believing ourselves. Anyway, next week, if I can't find a suitable Halloween episode at the last minute, we're telling the story of Beavis from England, an exiled knight whose superpower is not caring about anything. I have a quick favor. If you have a minute, I made a brief survey for listeners of the show. I made it, and your answers will only go to Carissa and me. It's not for an advertising company or anything like that. I'm just curious how you found the show, what types of episodes you like, so I can see where to best focus our efforts. It shouldn't take too long. You'll be entered to win a year-long membership on the site. So, thanks so much for your ti-- so, thank you so much for your time and your help. We really appreciate it.

• 53:49Speaker 00

  The creature this time is the okuri inu, a yokai from Japanese folklore. Black dogs following you on the road are absolutely nothing new in folklore. They're in, I'm not, I'm reluctant to say all cultures, but so many, it wouldn't be worth anyone's time for me to recap them here. The Japanese okuri inu, or sending-off dog, is no exception, except that it's maybe a little bit more hesitant to just attack you outright. It will follow close behind you like a friend would as they are seeing you off, that's where it gets its name, when you're walking on the road at night. You won't be able to see it if you turn around, but you know it's there. Probably don't want to look behind you too much, because hopefully, unlike a friend

• 54:30Speaker 00

  that's seeing you off, that dog is just waiting for you to stumble, and, once you do, it will literally tear you to pieces. There is an upside to this. If you're able to stay on your feet and don't stumble at all, you essentially have a bodyguard. No other yokai, no flesh-eating monsters in the form of monks, no guys with butthole eyes wanting to show you their butthole eyes, no oni will even approach you, because the okuri inu has marked you for death. And even those monsters apparently don't want to mess with that guy. If you make it home, it's now time to shame that dog with kindness by turning around, looking into the darkness, and saying, "Thank you for escorting me."

• 55:11Speaker 00

  Stunned by your apparent bravado, it will decide that it's not going to mess with you and will resolve to never follow you again. It's important, I guess, to leave some food or a gift out that night, and it will leave. But say you're not so lucky. Say your foot snags on a root or a lopsided corner of a sidewalk, and you go down. Well, all is not lost, because when is a fall not a fall? When it's a nap. Apparently, if you make it look like it was intentional and remark how tired you were and that you're just going to sit down for a brief rest, it won't read that stumble as a tumble, and it'll hold off, because who would stop on the road if they know they're being followed?

• 55:54Speaker 00

  The interesting thing, to me at least, is that this is actually a defense mechanism of animals in the natural world, showing that you're so strong and confident in your abilities that it's simply not worth it for a predator to pursue you. Lizards will do push-ups in front of snakes, predator birds give up on skylarks who sing louder, guppies who approach predators bravely get eaten less, and gazelles that show off their jumps to roving predators get chased less. So, go ahead. Take that nap in the road. Just be sure that it's this particular dog who will be impressed by your confidence and not the dozens of creatures that will be happy for a sleeping snack.

• 56:39Speaker 00

  That's it for this time. Myths and Legends is by Jason and Carissa Weiser. Our theme song is by Broke for Free, and the Creature of the Week music is by Steve Colmes. There are links to even more of the music we used in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.

• 56:57Speaker 06

  This is Shirley Strawberry from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Buy smart, drive for less, and trade for more. That's Toyota affordability. And it starts with a great deal on an all-wheel-drive Camry, Corolla Cross, or a Corolla Sedan, with the latest features and tech. Or test drive a spacious Grand Highlander or adventure-ready RAV4. And with so many hybrid models available, you can enjoy longer trips without all the stops. While Toyota's legendary resale value means you could get more at trade-in, get a great deal today and a great value tomorrow. Shoptoyota.com for deals and details. Toyota, let's go places.

• 57:38Speaker 07

  Come on and get happy with Happy GLP. Just $99 a month. Happy GLP gives you one set prices every month. No tears, no tricks. Getting started with Happy GLP is fast, convenient, and happens virtually with a license provider. Check it out for yourself at happylp.com. Again, that's happylp.com. A happy price for a happier you. Compounded medications are not FDA-approved. Eligibility required to determine by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary. See website for details.

• 58:09Speaker 05

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