442: Greek Myths: The Poseidon Adventures

🔱It's Poseidon's turn. On the podcast. Not to be king of the gods. He's actually totally not mad that his little brother is king. Because Zeus isn't the king of him. But Poseidon does do everything his brother says. Not because Zeus told him to, though. He just planned to do it anyway, so no problem. 😈 The Creature: The Alan Just don't boil Alan's kids and you're good. --- 📖 The Book! Myths and Legends has our first book coming out on December 1st! FOR THE KING is a comprehensive retelling of Arthurian legend, focused on humanity and written for the modern age. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book, and preorders are a massive help to us. Check it out here: https://myths.link/preorder 🔗 Links: Disclaimer: https://myths.link/442 Membership: https://www.mythpodcast.com/membership Myths and Legends YouTube:https://myths.link/youtube 💬 Social: Discord: https://myths.link/discord Instagram: https://myths.link/instagram Bluesky: https://myths.link/bluesky --- 📢 Sponsors Wayfair: Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. https://wayfair.com https://wayfair.com/ Granola: If meetings are eating up your day, Granola is a no-brainer. You can try it totally free - just head to https://granola.ai/LEGENDS. BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. See the reviews, see what stands out, and see if BetterHelp is right for you. https://betterhelp.com/myths --- 🎵 Music Credits Just Leave Me Submerged by Breakmaster Cylinder Lake Ditty by Blue Dot Sessions Pinky by Blue Dot Sessions Steamboater by Blue Dot Sessions ick. by Breakmaster Cylinder

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Brief disclaimer, we're back in the stories of the Olympians, so that means some talk of sexual assault. Please see the post on mythpodcast.com for more info. This week on Myths and Legends, we're back in the stories of the Olympians with Poseidon, god of the seas. We'll see that the best wingman sometimes isn't even a man, it's a dolphin, and that Poseidon is totally not mad that his younger brother bosses him around all the time because he has a cool car with mandatory dance parties. The creature this time is Alan, a monster from the Philippines who just wants you to not boil its children.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  This is Myths and Legends, episode 442, The Poseidon Adventures. This is a podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore. Some are incredibly popular tales you might think you know, but with surprising origins. Others are stories that might be new to you, but are definitely worth a listen. So, way back when, I pledged to do a year on the Olympians. One a month. It lasted two months. Turned out it was way more work than anticipated because not only did I have to research like 20 stories for each of them, but I wanted to weave their life into something that made sense and was

• 1:24Speaker 00

  a satisfying story arc in its own right. So, we're back to my increasingly inaccurately-named monthly Olympian episodes with Poseidon. We'll talk about this later, but Poseidon doesn't have a lot of stories where he's the main character, so he's a small part of a bunch of them. Think of this like a chapter from Edith Hamilton's mythology, or Robert Graves's Greek myths. Sort of like a grand Poseidon overview. One quick note for listeners, who maybe haven't listened to every episode of the podcast, or have, and just, you know, there's a lot of them. Back in Halloween of 2020, we did a bit where Dionysus, god of wine, revelry, and theater, was in The Frogs, an ancient Greek play,

• 2:06Speaker 00

  which itself is a meta-comedy. So, in a podcast adaptation, Dionysus was doing a podcast. I've brought it up here and there in the Greek episodes as a fun joke, but today, it's most of the episode. Dionysus doing an interview of Poseidon's life, with the god of the sea being unable to not step in it. The storm above Dionysus's head began to clear. Ugh, finally. He squinted out to sea

• 2:47Speaker 00

  and saw a head rising from the waves. The storm retreated quickly from its true master, Poseidon, Olympian, god of the sea, horses, and also earthquakes. As he rose, pulled by white horses with golden manes and brazen hooves, made of brass, they weren't particularly bold. As Poseidon rose, the party, apparently, came with him because when his golden chariot emerges from the sea, according to Homer, sea monsters frisk around it. Frisk, in this context, means to frolic. A few very beleaguered octopuses dragged Poseidon's shell-themed seat across the sand and brought him a bottle of wine. "Well, what do you got?" Poseidon

• 3:32Speaker 00

  looked at Dionysus, wine streaming down his beard as a tentacle came up to wipe it. Dionysus was already set up with the recording equipment and had captured the noise print or moved background noise, but, "Yeah, hey, can you shut the music off?" Dionysus asked. Poseidon groaned. It really went against his whole thing. He was the party. Dionysus didn't correct him by saying that Dionysus, a version of whom was Bacchus in Roman mythology, was literally the god of partying, and knew that if you had to tell people you were the party and make your employees dance around your car, you were, in fact, not the party. Poseidon yelled out for his sea monster bros to take a quick break. Come back and, uh,

• 4:16Speaker 00

  give him a loose 20. As the sea monsters quickly submerged, Dionysus noted that this was gonna be longer than 20 minutes. Episodes were running long lately. He knew that podcasts took longer to make than just their runtime, right? Haha, one, nerd alert, no, I don't listen to podcasts. What is this, 2018, when they were cool for a whole 20 minutes? Two, my guys are fish. They're gonna forget about this in like, three seconds from now. It's actually a big problem with them forgetting who I am. Dionysus didn't note that the whole thing where fish forget every few seconds is a complete myth, and that Poseidon's guys really seem to be capitalizing on that myth and pretending they didn't know him so they didn't have to hang out, but he did

• 5:00Speaker 00

  want to get started. Flipping through his notes, he worked his way back to the beginning. Poseidon was the first son of Cronus in Rhea, and the first son to die. At least, that was Cronus's plan. I'm not a doctor, and thankfully, I have no firsthand knowledge of this, but generally, when you eat people, they don't make it. But little did Cronus know, when it came to Poseidon, his oldest son, he wasn't eating his son, but a foal,

• 5:43Speaker 00

  a baby horse, and Dionysus raised a finger. Poseidon lowered his sunglasses to reveal another pair of sunglasses. He was lounging across from him on the shell of the beach, where they were having their talk. "Yes?" Were they sure about this, the foal thing? Poseidon said, "Oh, yeah, the horse thing? My mom, Rhea, replaced me with a horse, and my dad ate the horse." "Why?" Poseidon asked. "Um, okay, two things. One, apparently, you made the horse for people, which is why you're the god of horses, so that was kind of conflict. Uh, but two, it's just very close to Zeus's story, where when he was

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  born, Cronus ate a rock instead of him, and he grew up and became Cronus's cupbearer, poisoned him so he threw you all up, and then led the revolution." Dionysus could pull out his notes, but he didn't think he needed to. "Yeah? So?" Poseidon said. "So, if you were out the whole time, what were you doing?" "Baby stuff? Watery baby stuff? Why are you making this a big thing?" "The Arcadians tell a story of me being replaced with a foal. I was out of dad's stomach, I was raised in a pasture with, like, lambs and junk." Poseidon went back to his phone. "So, you just, what, met up with Zeus later and joined his revolution, instead of being rescued from your father's stomach?"

• 7:06Speaker 00

  "Maybe he met up with me." Poseidon shrugged. "Maybe he joined my revolution." "But did he?" Dionysus pressed. "Maybe." Poseidon smiled. Dionysus rolled his eyes and resumed. "All right." Foal or baby, leader or not, Poseidon was out of his father's stomach and in the war effort. The Titanomachy had begun. "And the Titanomachy ended." We actually don't have a full accounting of the Titanomachy. Did Poseidon want to fill in some of those gaps? "Nope." Poseidon said, not looking up. "Cool. Yeah, this is going well." Dionysus crossed off the Titanomachy section, where the Olympians rose up against their parents' generation, the Titans, overthrew them,

• 7:51Speaker 00

  and sent them down to Tartarus. Tartarus being the lowest level of the underworld, where, while the regular underworld is full of shades and sadness, Tartarus is full of suffering and screams. "Full of the bad people." Poseidon interrupted the narration. "When you say 'bad people,'" Dionysus continued, "I did sort of an inventory of Tartarus, and it's full of the Hundredhanders, the monstrous siblings of the Titans, the Titans, some cyclopes, and mostly just enemies of you all, us, the Olympians. It's kind of our own personal prison. They're only bad insofar as they are a threat to us." "Yeah, don't forget people who tricked Zeus into eating people." Poseidon laughed. "Happens more than you'd think."

• 8:34Speaker 00

  "Yeah, actually, let's talk about Zeus." Dionysus said. "Dividing up the domains, how did that go down?" "Oh, you mean, how did I win and get the sea?" Poseidon put his phone to sleep. "Is that what happened?" Poseidon laughed. "What? Did he want the underworld, like the sad-sack Hades? Oh, my girlfriend leaves me for six months a year, boo hoo, but I gotta stay here and work. No thanks." "Or the sky? You know what's in the sky? A lot of nothing. Meanwhile, I got this big blue watery road that all these little guys use all the time. So much worship flowing my way, 24/7, 354." "So, you didn't want to be king of the gods? You're older than him."

• 9:16Speaker 00

  "King? He might be king of all you guys, but he's my little brother. We're basically equal."

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  Dionysus pointed out that basically equal wasn't quite equal, was it? "Well, we drew lots for responsibilities and I won," Poseidon laughed. "I love my watery life. I have the sea, horses, earthquakes." Okay, speak on that a little. Why earthquakes? "There are some who feel like that should be Hades's domain," Dionysus sat back. Poseidon explained that his domain wasn't strictly the sea. In fact, his epithets included "earth shaker" and "earth mover." "Poseidon's domain wasn't strictly water, but everything down to the foundations of the earth." "As we all know," Poseidon grinned, "all land rests on water."

• 10:08Speaker 00

  "Does it, though?" Dionysus asked. "I should know," Poseidon snapped back. "Oh, I'm not denying that," Dionysus replied. "Let's say... is surrounded by water." "Right, sure. So, he who controls the water controls the shaking of things that the water can shake," the Olympian shrugged. "Also, my trident can shake the earth." "Cool," Dionysus looked things over. "Okay, and then, you got married?" "Yes," Poseidon replied. "Can you give us a glimpse into your love story?" Poseidon said, "Sure." "Tale as old as time. She was one of the fifty daughters of Nereus, the old man of

• 10:52Speaker 00

  the sea, son of Pontus, the sea and Gaia, the earth. Her mother was Doris, sort of a personification of the fertility of the ocean. So, one day Poseidon was hanging out with Nereus, watching all of his daughters dance." He paused. "What was that face for?" "Nothing. Well, not nothing," Dionysus said. "It just sounds weird." "Oh, seriously?" Poseidon asked. Where was Dionysus's head? "People danced for all sorts of reasons, but it just goes to show his bias that Dionysus assumes he's some sort of creep." Dionysus apologized and Poseidon continues. "Anyway, there was a really hot daughter called Amphitrite that I just had to have then and there," Poseidon said with a smirk.

• 11:37Speaker 00

  Dionysus facepalmed. Thankfully, Poseidon did not act on his feelings. Well, okay, he did act on his feelings, but Amphitrite's sisters managed to warn her in time, swarming the Olympian as he walked toward them. After politely chuckling and nodding to the girls, but desperately searching for the one who had awakened these feelings, Poseidon realized what had happened. "Honestly, her running away only made the feelings more intense," Poseidon laughed, not noticing that neither Dionysus nor the production team joined him. So, Poseidon sent out the search parties. Amphitrite was smart enough to not hide in the sea or on any of the islands. It's said that Poseidon sent out creatures to find her, and while he could have used horses,

• 12:20Speaker 00

  because I guess they were his thing, I like to picture scores of like trout and octopuses emerging from the sea and lasting a few hours while they comb the towns and countryside looking for information, for five to thirty minutes each before suffocating. But even though many of his fish minions died, that was a sacrifice Poseidon was willing to make, because he found her. She was in the Atlas Mountains. To close the deal, though, he would need an expert negotiator.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  We'll see a dolphin climb a mountain, but that will be right after this. Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids, but what about protecting them? Outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, baby gates? Where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. Progressive offers customized coverage options, so you can be sure you have the right coverage for you and your loved ones. They're basically the outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks and baby gates of insurance. Don't wait. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates and other insurers. Not available in all states.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Hey, I'm Niall Rogers, producer, songwriter, guitarist and co-founder of the group Sheik. A great song has a way of defining a moment, a moment of joy, heartbreak, or anything in between. This fall, I'll be driving across the country, dropping in on some of the coolest, most fascinating artists working today. We'll go deep into their lives and careers and hear what it was like before the moment that made them. From hitmakers like Miguel...

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  That last year, finishing that record was the hardest experience of my life. Regardless of how everyone else buys into this, I believe in this and I'm gonna push.

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• 16:21Speaker 00

  Yes, he is objectively terrible, the dolphin said to Amphitrite, before waving a fin for her to splash some more water on him. Mammoer know it was very stressful being out of the ocean long enough to climb a mountain. "I know what they're like, the Olympians," Amphitrite said. She didn't want to be with him. "If you know what they're like," the dolphin said, "and I don't mean this as a threat, "then you know that he's not going to stop. He sent me to try to talk to you, because arriving himself would spook you, but he knows where you are. His domain surrounds the earth. His brother rules the skies and his other, the underworld. There's no place to go that he won't find you eventually."

• 17:07Speaker 00

  The dolphin waved again for more water. Amphitrite despaired, and the dolphin sympathized. The storm had come for her, that much was obvious. She could rage against it, or she could weather it and come out stronger. "I don't know what dolphin said to her," Poseidon admitted. Dionysus told him not to worry about it. They'd get an interview with her and fill it in and dramatize it. Poseidon nodded. "But he came back with a demand from her. Marriage," Poseidon laughed. "She wanted to be his queen?" Still, he was young and stupid, only a few centuries old at that point, so he agreed to it. Dolphin got to become a constellation.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  "Isn't that normally reserved for heroes or enemies who fought valiantly but failed?" Dionysus asked. "And you used it on your dolphin wingman?" Poseidon nodded. "That was heroic." So, married life, Dionysus said. Do you wanna comment on Cetus Ethiopian? That is the story of me being a great husband. Okay, so get this. The queen of Ethiopia, Cassiopeia, was talking a bunch of crap about how her daughter Andromeda was more beautiful than the Nereids? Dionysus looked up. Of which your totally consensual wife was one? Yes, and thank you for adding the totally consensual part.

• 18:30Speaker 00

  We still actually get in fights about that, Poseidon said, and continued. Anyway, he sent a sea monster, Cetus Ethiopian, to ravage the coastline. Dionysus blinked, and that proved what? That she wasn't as beautiful as my wife, let alone her 49 hot sisters. Do I need to make a diagram? Poseidon scoffed. That would actually be nice, but we won't get hung up on this. What happened next? Dionysus asked. Well, we ravaged the coastline and then flooded the coastline to make more coastline. And then I sent the sea monster Cetus. I'm gonna stop you right there, Dionysus said. You can just say Cetus.

• 19:11Speaker 00

  Cetus means sea monster, so it's like you're saying PIN number, or ATM machine, or casa house. It's just redundant is all. At that first bit of pushback, Poseidon sneered. Look, I didn't even wanna do the whole Cetus sea monster thing. I'm not saying she made me, but she had her sisters over and they were just on it nonstop about how this woman said her daughter was prettier than them, and they wanted me to do something about it, and I gave them the advice to get prettier, which did not go over well. A week later, I'm ravaging the coast of Ethiopia because I'm a great husband, or at least trying to be one. Ethiopia doesn't have a coast? It's landlocked? Dionysus pointed out. Poseidon chuckled. Ruh-roh, what did I ravage? Uh, nah, but the territories were different back then.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  Anyway, I was getting bored, so I put it through to an oracle of Amun, leader of Amun-Ra fame. He did pretty well for himself, right? That the only way to get it to stop was to let the sea monster Cetus sea monster eat her. So they chained her to a rock. And then Perseus, Dionysus said. Poseidon chuckled again. Yeah, that guy. Once in a generation hero, all thanks to me. Like I said, I didn't care about the sea monster Cetus, or just between you and me, the stuff the queen said about Andromeda. It was actually the best possible outcome that that little guy, whizzing by in Hermes's flying shoes, spotted Andromeda, cut off his head, and rescued the princess.

• 20:37Speaker 00

  So you're not mad that he killed your sea monster? Dionysus asked. Poseidon took a drink from his wine bottle. I'm not the human sacrifice type of god. Ugh, yuck. Dionysus scribbled in his notes. So you knew Perseus was out there, and he would help you thread the needle of getting your in-laws off your back while also making it so you didn't actually have to do anything? Well, of course he was out there to ki- Poseidon said, and then stopped himself. Out there to be heroic. So heroic, that one, Dionysus said, not looking up, though he could almost feel Poseidon's self-satisfied smirk. They would get back to that question later, though. So, Poseidon, back to his marriage. The Olympian shrugged.

• 21:21Speaker 00

  Well, they had a couple of kids. Domestic life, though, wasn't for him. This stallion had to run free. Only so free, though, right? Dionysus asked. Poseidon grew serious. What did his nephew mean? Okay, I've talked to everyone. You had the most to gain from the events. Poseidon cast a nervous glance toward the sky. That was a long time ago. Okay, but what happened to not wanting to be the heavy head that wears the crown? Dionysus mock-placed a crown on his head. It was all Hera. I don't know, it was like, I was under some spell or something. It started as like some drinks among the gods.

• 22:06Speaker 00

  We were all complaining about Zeus, just harmless stuff. But the, I don't know, it just, the talk shifted. Hera started putting these just ideas out there. First as jokes, but then got real. Said there was something in it for me, on my own, that I was the older brother and I was stepped over. She was telling me that I can handle things. I'm smart, not like everybody says. Apparently, I was needed because no one else, not Apollo nor Athena, were as shocked or as outraged by this talk as I was. What happened next? Dionysus asked. What happened next is that we got him. Poseidon laughed and then grew serious. No, but really, I was as surprised as he was.

• 22:49Speaker 00

  I thought it was all just talk when we overthrew Zeus and chained him up. Little-known fact, I was actually working to free him. Thetis, the woman who did, and the future mother of Achilles, she was an agent of mine. I was in deep cover. So deep that there's no record or talk of you being involved in any of the sources, Dionysus noted. I was that good, Poseidon winked. I would tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. All that stuff is off the record, by the way. At least the parts where I act happy are. That's not how that works, Dionysus noted. But you and Apollo were punished, not as bad as Hera, who had to hang naked by her

• 23:28Speaker 00

  wrists with weights on her ankles, or her son, Hephaestus, who was thrown off Olympus and so brutally maimed that he's the only Olympian who walks with a limp. At least he didn't have to do manual labor. Poseidon laughed. Well, he's a blacksmith, so he does enough of that sort of thing every day. You and Apollo had your divinity stripped from you, and you had to go serve a human king for a bit. That makes it sound easy. Maybe you think it sounds easy. Because I was just stating what happened, Dionysus replied. I'll tell you what, though. Apollo had it easy. He just had to tend to the king's flocks. Me, though? I had to build those walls all by myself, Poseidon noted.

• 24:10Speaker 00

  That being said, though, guess which walls never fell? Troy? Dionysus looked up in surprise. The city that was famously sacked? After a 10-year-long war where my walls kept them out? Poseidon asked. The Greeks only got in because, well, I don't wanna talk about why the Greeks got in. Dionysus let that one sit before continuing. Okay, so walls built, then what happened? Poseidon inhaled sharply through his nostrils. Oh, okay. He saw where Dionysus was going with this one. Where am I going? Dionysus asked. I've been following your life story wherever you've taken me. This is just an interview. It's like a puff piece, so we can work through these things. After you, it's Hera and Zeus. Do you think I have some sort of agenda?

• 24:55Speaker 00

  Poseidon crossed his arms. You're trying to make it look like I'm super into human sacrifice. Oh, Poseidon just loves killing pretty ladies. Why? Dionysus met his eyes. Is it because Laomedon, the king of Troy, didn't pay you? And you sent a sea monster to ravage his lands unless he offered his daughter, Hesione, to be eaten by a monster? Poseidon would have Dionysus note that Apollo was doing it too. The son of Leda was livid. He brought pestilence to ravage the land. Dionysus sat back. Pestilence and sea monsters goes together like peanut butter and batteries. I don't know what either of those things are, but sure, Poseidon said.

• 25:36Speaker 00

  Dionysus noted that, as interesting as all this was, even though it did seem like Poseidon was repeating himself, we've already done a Hercules-Heracles episode, so we don't need to go into that. The only reason it didn't end gruesomely for Hesione was because another once-in-a-generation Greek hero was there to kill Poseidon's sea monster. Yeah, and I look like a peach next to him, let me tell you. Poseidon laughed. He wasn't wrong. Poseidon, for all of his self-reported rage, usually retreated at the first hint of pushback. The Olympian's anger was like trying to light a campfire with a wet sock. It was a little odd, but mostly nothing would come from it, except maybe embarrassment.

• 26:18Speaker 00

  Hercules's anger, though, was like using a flamethrower to light dynamite to start a forest fire. It was explosive and dangerous at first, and grew to be widespread and devastating to everyone and everything in its path. The king of Troy, Laomedon, promised Hercules's daughter, Hesione. Hercules was eaten by this Cetus sea monster, and after the monster rioted on the beach for three days, Hercules emerged from the monster's stomach by taking a more direct, Sigourney Weaver alien-like path. By then, Hesione had been removed back to Troy, and the doors barred behind her. Hercules found out firsthand just how strong Poseidon's walls were, and had to make it

• 27:01Speaker 00

  back to Eurystheus to announce the completion of his ninth labor, getting the belt of the queen of the Amazons. The yellow sun of the earth gives Superman super strength, but it also increases his intelligence. Hercules, being the son of the greatest Olympian, meant that he was strong in body, in resilience, in grit, and his pettiness was also legendary. For all of his success and renown, he was a man who never once, for a second, let something go. Laomedon learned this when, years later, a half a dozen ships landed outside Troy and, squinting, saw that murder machine he slated sprinting toward the city.

• 27:43Speaker 00

  Hercules made it to the doors before they closed this time, and those doors never closed again during Laomedon's reign, because it only lasted about 15 more minutes. Greek history, world literature, and the 2026 summer box office would have been vastly different. If Hercules, tearing apart princes of Troy like anachronistic phone books, hadn't been susceptible to Hesione, daughter of the king, and her tearful pleas for him to spare her brother, Pedarsis. This was enough for Hercules to take a breather and look around. The man who wronged him was dead. Five of his sons who hadn't wronged Hercules were dead. Smoke rose from the surrounding city. There was restitution and there was retribution, but this was bordering on extermination.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  Hercules agreed and relaxed. Though kind of knowing that this was exactly how you make an enemy for life, Hercules decided to roll the dice. He had made a lot of enemies, and the last son of a no-name kingdom on the edge of the world would hardly be an issue for him or his people. He couldn't just let Pedarsis go. The kid would have to be ransomed. Hesione closed her eyes and, with the ashes of the city streaking her face, removed her veil and gave it to Hercules. Pedarsis had been bought with his sister's life and freedom. From that day forward, his very name would stand to help him remember her kindness and sacrifice, with him changing it to a variation of "Tubai." He would be known as Priam.

• 29:13Speaker 00

  Hercules gave Hesione to his friend and fellow invader, Telemann, the king of Ahina, on an island between Athens and the Peloponnese. Her life contained one final tragedy when, years and years later, King Priam of Troy, now the sole ruler of a thriving and powerful city, sent some messengers to Greece to demand the return of his sister. Both he and his sister were well into their twilight years, and the conflict had been so long ago, he simply begged for any time he had left with his only remaining sibling. The messengers returned with nothing, rebuffed by Telemann. Priam felt himself too old and important to the city to make the journey, so he sent his son, a handsome young man,

• 29:55Speaker 00

  and the only one of his nearly 50 children better with words than weapons. Paris, as we know, did not come back from Greece alone, but he also didn't come back with Hesione. He came back with Helen, queen of Sparta. Because of the brazen sacking of his city when he was a boy and the abduction of his sister, Priam apparently felt Paris's return with Helen to be justified. It was one woman. What was the worst that could happen?

• 30:33Speaker 00

  We'll see what Poseidon gets up to during and after the Trojan War, but that will, once again, be right after this. Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids, but what about protecting them? Outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, baby gates? Where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. Progressive offers customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage for you and your loved ones. They're basically the outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, and baby gates of insurance. Don't wait. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates, and other insurers. Not available in all states.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  Hey, I'm Niall Rogers, producer, songwriter, guitarist, and co-founder of the group Sheik. A great song has a way of defining a moment, a moment of joy, heartbreak, or anything in between.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  This fall, I'll be driving across the country, dropping in on some of the coolest, most fascinating artists working today. We'll go deep into their lives and careers and hear what it was like before the moment that made them. From hitmakers like Miguel...

• 31:50Speaker 02

  That last year, finishing that record was the hardest experience of my life. Regardless of how everyone else buys into this, I believe in this and I'm gonna push.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  To rising stars like Alex Warren.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  You know, a song is a story, and the verse is setting the scene. And for me, at least, it's allowing me to be personal and vulnerable with the audience, whether it's about my wife and I'm being vulnerable about her, or it's about, you know, my parents and I'm being vulnerable to them. And it's almost like a cinematic piece in a way where each song tells that beautiful story.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  It's gonna be one hell of a trip. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln Original Series on the iHeartRadio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids, but what about protecting them? Outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, baby gates? Where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. Progressive offers customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage for you and your loved ones. They're basically the outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, and baby gates of insurance. Don't wait. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates, and other insurers. Not available in all states.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  Hey, I'm Niall Rogers, producer, songwriter, guitarist, and co-founder of the group Sheik. A great song has a way of defining a moment, a moment of joy, heartbreak, or anything in between.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  This fall, I'll be driving across the country, dropping in on some of the coolest, most fascinating artists working today. We'll go deep into their lives and careers and hear what it was like before the moment that made them. From hitmakers like Miguel...

• 33:45Speaker 02

  That last year, finishing that record was the hardest experience of my life. Regardless of how everyone else buys into this, I believe in this and I'm gonna push.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  To rising stars like Alex Warren.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  You know, a song is a story, and the verse is setting the scene. And for me, at least, it's allowing me to be personal and vulnerable with the audience, whether it's about my wife and I'm being vulnerable about her, or it's about, you know, my parents and I'm being vulnerable to them. And it's almost like a cinematic piece in a way where each song tells that beautiful story.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  It's gonna be one hell of a trip. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln Original Series on the iHeartRadio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 34:42Speaker 00

  Back with Poseidon. Dionysus asked, "So where did you land on the Trojan War when it started?" Poseidon snorted awake. "What? Were they still doing this? That was a long aside." Dionysus said, "Yeah." Kind of backed the wrong pop culture horse in early July, so trying to make up for it now with the Troy talk. Who knew a nuanced, yet thrilling retelling of a beloved ancient story with an all-star cast would be better received than The Rock in a wig and a muscle suit? "Kind of everybody, I think," Poseidon said. "Cybar, I'm finally gonna go this week to see The Odyssey, so no spoilers, okay?" Poseidon, given his bad blood with Priam's dad and the fact that the invoice for the wall was still outstanding, sided against the Trojans. "Of course, Zeus told us to stay out of it."

• 35:27Speaker 00

  Well, told them. Poseidon's hand wave seemed to imply everyone who was not him. "I just popped down a few times. Most importantly was when Hector, the Trojan prince, was about to turn the tide of war. He was burning the Greek camps as they retreated to the sea. I just walked among them, touching their backs and giving them courage. They managed to maintain a foothold and eventually pushed the Trojans back." "Oh, hmm, okay," Dionysus said. "Because I actually remember something of a famous confrontation between you and Zeus during the war. Zeus woke and you were fighting for the Greeks, out front, after he ordered the gods to withdraw all help for them so they missed Achilles. You... Well, okay, so we talked to Iris, the messenger of the Olympians,

• 36:12Speaker 00

  and she said the message was essentially that he commanded you to get off the battlefield. That if he had to go down there, you better stay out of his reach because he was stronger and would not hold back. She said you talked a lot about being equal and refusing. She asked if you wanted to reconsider. You did. And it ended with you asserting your equality, but capitulating to all of his demands." That doesn't ring any bells, Poseidon said in such a way that seemed to imply his head was currently a Carillon. Book fifteen of the Iliad, Dionysus said. Poseidon shook his head. Hmm, can't say I've heard of that one. Iliad? Griliad?

• 36:56Speaker 00

  Text me with the title, I'll, I'll look into it. Hmm, yeah, okay. Dionysus said they didn't need to recount the Trojan War. A decade-long war of attrition where even Homer looked at it and was like, what if we just jump in in the last year? And then also still don't actually tell the end of the war. We should talk about Odysseus, though, Dionysus said. Poseidon grimaced and fortified himself with a little bit of an entire bottle of wine. Odysseus, oh my gosh, okay. Oh, he's so wily, he uses his thinky thinky powers to solve problems. How is that manly? That's not what we made those guys for. And also to add insult to injury, he blinds my son.

• 37:41Speaker 00

  Dionysus made a show of flipping through his notes. Well, yeah, okay, we should talk about that. Polyphemus, right? When did Amphitrite give birth to him? I must have missed that. Oh, he was actually born to a different woman, a nymph, Thusa, Poseidon said. Hmm, was that a common thing? You having children with other women? Nope, Poseidon said. Just a one-time thing. Xanthius? Dionysus turned back to the enslaved man, who also served as his producer. Sixty to seventy kids documented in the sources, likely over a hundred total, Xanthius said. I meant one-time thing with her, Poseidon smiled.

• 38:23Speaker 00

  In fact, according to some Romans, Scylla, one of the monsters that menaced Odysseus on his journey, was only that way because Amphitrite discovered an affair and poisoned the spring where Scylla, once a beautiful Niad, bathed. In another instance, Poseidon turned himself into a ram and kidnapped Theophane, taking her to an island where he fathered the ram with the golden fleece, the same golden fleece that would find its way to Colchis and be the MacGuffin the Argonauts would go after. He fathered the Alloedi, two giants. When the princess Iphaemida sat down in the ocean, because that's apparently a thing, the giants would go on a storm Olympus and lose. Poseidon claims parentage of Theseus, but that's dubious, given how successful Theseus was.

• 39:06Speaker 00

  Theseus, too, also didn't just blind, but kill, not one, but two sons of Poseidon on his way to Athens. Weird that you would choose this child to get so angry about, Dionysus said and tapped his paper. I mean, yeah, he was blinded by Odysseus, but he also trapped the guy and his men in his cave and was eating them one by one, so... So? He's a cyclops? You criticizing my parenting now? Poseidon asked. You don't enter a bear's cave and expect the bear not to attack you, they had it coming. Well, you got him back, right, Odysseus? Dionysus said. He famously never returned home after you decided to make him the object of your wrath. Poseidon clenched his jaw.

• 39:51Speaker 00

  I decided to let it go. Little guy had been through enough. He was on his last leg, practically broken. Yeah, so broken that he only killed over a hundred suitors, most of which were under half his age. Let's be real, you've had a longstanding feud with Athena, who jumped in to champion her case for Odysseus before Zeus. There was a history here. Despite Poseidon's assertions that he was totally not mad at getting the sea, he made several overtures to try to gain control of cities or land in Greece. Athens was the most popular story. Both Poseidon and Athena found themselves on the Acropolis, the highest spot in the budding city, and offered their gifts.

• 40:34Speaker 00

  Athena, an olive tree, something that required skill, careful cultivation and planning, but which would yield a bounty year upon year. Poseidon struck the earth and produced a saltwater spring. A spring that, year upon year, would yield saltwater, something they could get at the sea like three miles away. In some versions, this was left to the mortals to decide, so it was put to a vote. Men, by and large, I guess, voted for Poseidon. Every woman voted for Athena, and Athena won by a narrow margin. Poseidon threw a tantrum and flooded parts of the city. And to appease his wrath, the rulers of the city took away women's right to vote in public

• 41:16Speaker 00

  matters and forbade anyone from taking their mother's surname. In his further territory, I'm not going to say grab, because he didn't actually get anything, he lost Aeheina to Zeus, Corinth to Helios, Naxos to Dionysus, Argos to Hera. At this point, he straight up refused to show up in front of his Olympian brethren because they were obviously biased and the whole thing was rigged against him. He still lost, though, and dries up the rivers around Argos. You even lost a second one to Athena, a town called Trezen, callback to episode seventeen A, Dionysus said. You can't help but lose to her. Oh my gosh, Athena, yeah, people call me petty, but she's the one with an axe to grind, or a spear, rather.

• 41:58Speaker 00

  And like, she just had to keep going, even after committing character assassination with that whole Medusa thing. Hmm, shoot, Poseidon said. Dionysus hid his smile. He was the god of theater, after all. So, about Medusa? Dionysus folded his notes. Nope, that was the one thing. My people said it was off limits for this talk, Poseidon pointed. Well, if that's what they said, I didn't know, because it was a lot of fish moistening up the documents and gurgling, but you were the one who just brought it up, Dionysus pointed out, and then said, what if I told you we could turn off the mics, just you and me talking?

• 42:39Speaker 00

  Despite the protests from Poseidon's octopus manager slash attorney, Poseidon nodded. Sure, he respected Dionysus and wanted him to know that he wasn't a bad guy. Dionysus turned around. Can we do that? Xanthius gave him a thumbs up. Okay, what happened to Medusa was not my fault, Poseidon said. You raping her in Athena's temple? Dionysus said, arching his eyebrows. Well, you see, there are some nuances in ancient Greek literature, where things like ravished and seized or carried off are used, and the concept of... No, no, we're, we're gonna call it what it is, Dionysus said.

• 43:21Speaker 00

  You know what you did, and that's why Athena responded so strongly. The temple had been violated, polluted by your action, but she couldn't go after you, could she? So Medusa had to absorb even more disastrous consequences of the desecration of a sacred space. Medusa had to become a monster, the gorgon with snake hair, whose gaze could turn people to stone. You got lucky. Your guilt was turned into a footnote, a story of a hero and a monster, and maybe Athena humiliating you at every opportunity was the way she could hold you to account for Medusa. Poseidon rose and looked Dionysus directly in the eye.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  Storm clouds formed above him. My guilt. You young ones, where were you when we were fighting the Titans, carving out this world you now claim a right to? We don't have rights, we have to take what we want. I am the sea. You wanted someone to represent and control the uncontrollable, and you got him. Long after the cities are gone, claimed by me, I will be here. So no, I don't conform to any justice but my own. Like the sea, I take, and I don't answer for what I take, especially to people, or Athena, or even my brother. Dionysus shuddered. Whew, chills. That is good stuff.

• 44:50Speaker 00

  Wait, for real? Poseidon asked, eyes widening at the first morsel of acceptance from literally anyone he couldn't compel to love him. You, you like it? Was that good? Oh, chilling. That primal elemental fury, that's good stuff. Totally flips the narrative on its head, Poseidon gasped. Really? He was going for like a Walter White, I am the danger talk? Nailed it, Dionysus said. Ah, if only we were recording, Poseidon said. Right? Oh, if only, mm, I can say it again, Poseidon replied. No, I, like, I was so inspired, I was taking notes, and we can like recreate it in post, Dionysus said. For real? Poseidon asked. Probably with like AI and stuff. Oh, I love AI.

• 45:34Speaker 00

  Like, Google my name now and it's just picture after picture of me completely ripped with waves behind me? That's what the world needs, right? Dionysus fist bumped his uncle, who called up his ride. That exact same picture with subtle differences, like additional abs and fingers, just like thousand times a day. Really great what they're doing with that technology. I literally cannot think of a better use for it, Poseidon pointed before turning the music back on. Hey, let me know when this comes out and I'll put it on my socials and all that. The sea monsters floated quietly to the surface, and Poseidon groaned. What were they doing? It's a party. Frisk and frolic, let's go. They were making him look like a loser in front of the podcaster.

• 46:18Speaker 00

  Poseidon turned back with a thumbs up and a wink. Stay salty, he said, before sinking beneath the waves. We got all that, right? You kept the mic running, like I asked? Dionysus turned to Xanthius, who was already packing up. Oh, absolutely. Even him, like, simpering at the end when I gave him an iota of praise and acceptance, right before he leaves with that ridiculous party persona and all those sea monsters he forces to dance in his entourage? Nice.

• 46:57Speaker 00

  Poseidon has been a secondary character in many of the stories we've told on this podcast. But there are not a lot where he's the protagonist. And after doing a deep dive into his life story, I can see why. He is deeply unlikable in a way that even Zeus doesn't manage. Zeus, at least, accepts that he's a monster and doesn't harbor illusions about the people in his orbit and his relationship to power. I found the idea of Poseidon being someone who didn't really understand the nature of his own power to be really compelling. Poseidon, to be clear, is powerful. He controls the sea and storms and garnered a massive amount of worship and respect in the ancient world from anyone who needed to safely travel the water, which, for a seafaring people like the ancient Greeks, was a lot of people.

• 47:42Speaker 00

  He is respected by the humans. He just isn't loved. His peers respect his standing among the gods, but there's no warmth there. And he keeps trying to win contests that he doesn't understand with power and pedigree instead of personality, and then throws tantrums when he loses. He fathers and sends monsters to fight heroes without the awareness that monsters in Greek myth exist to be destroyed by heroes. He's the dictator everyone in this sphere of influence pretends to like because they're scared of him, yet openly loathes the moment he's not in the room. The bad part is, he's not a complete joke. He's not pathetic and impotent. He's pathetic and dangerous.

• 48:24Speaker 00

  Unlike Hades, who also lost to a younger brother and is objectively less loved than Poseidon, Poseidon cares so much. And he takes his wrath about his own insecurities out on the most vulnerable, like Medusa or his many other victims, or anyone who happened to be on the bad side of one of his storms in the Aegean. He's only held to account by Zeus over matching his power without respect in a few rare instances, and the younger Olympians, embarrassing him and outmaneuvering their entitled Uncle P whenever they get the chance, with him never understanding that you can control a third of the world, but you still can't make people like you. Next time on the podcast, I try to keep juicing that summer box office SEO by telling more

• 49:08Speaker 00

  stories of the original Spider-Man, Anansi, the trickster god from West African and Caribbean folklore. If you didn't know, Myths and Legends has a book coming out. For less than the price of a squirrel picnic table, a tiny picnic table you nail into a fence so you can get pictures of squirrels looking like they're having a rushed lunch break, you can preorder the first book in our trilogy, telling the comprehensive King Arthur legend, where it stays true to the originals but breathes new life into a thousand year old story. It also could function as a squirrel picnic table, so two for one deal, I guess, but please don't. There are links in the show notes to preorder. Thank you so much.

• 49:55Speaker 00

  The creature this time is Alan, from Tingian folklore in the Philippines. You wonder how much of Dracula's success has been branding. Would he be as feared if he wasn't some long-dead Eastern European tyrant who lived in a spooky castle? Would it be the same if he slept upside down from trees in the woods, put gold and beads on people, and went by the name The Alan? I mean, you should be equally afraid because The Alan, well, The Alan will promise to burn down your house. And then they'll make good on that promise by burning down your house. One story has a weary wanderer seeing those winged humanoid creatures hanging in the woods like bats. He tried to run, but he was too frightened and fell over.

• 50:40Speaker 00

  The creatures put gold and beads on him and celebrated an easy win. It was probably as close to breakfast in bed as you can get as a giant Batman. The golden beads were part of a funeral, right? But the man summoned the courage to stand up and yell at them to "go away." And maybe shocked, maybe bemused, they said, "Sure." They let him keep the beads, but asked for just one back. He refused. He was keeping all of them. They told him that he was a bad man, and because of that, they were gonna burn his house down. And they did. Another story has two travelers spearing a wild pig, but having no fire with which to cook it.

• 51:22Speaker 00

  One walked until he found a house and realized he made a terrible mistake when, the door creaking open at the knock, he saw an Alan and her child sleeping inside. Unable to get away without waking her, he told her about the pig. And she lit a torch from the fire under a boiling cauldron. Her sinister face awash in torchlight, she told him to show her the way. She didn't seem unreasonable, though, and lit their fire, telling them that they could split the pig, assuming one of them could go home and feed her child. With a swipe of her fingers, she got rid of any possible "other" more threatening reading of that statement when she sliced the pig open and plucked out its liver.

• 52:04Speaker 00

  Cooking it briefly, she handed it to the man who knew the way back to her house. I've eaten liver once, and it's not something I'm super inclined to do again, but the traveler was starving. Before he made it to the Alan's house, his hands were juicy but empty, knowing that if he lied to the Alan, she would know her baby hadn't eaten when she returned. He did the absolute worst thing he could think of when he picked up the little Alan baby and dropped it in the boiling cauldron. After telling the mom that the baby ate so well and saying a nervous goodbye to the Alan, the travelers quickly packed up the meat. And the one who, yes, killed the baby Alan, explained what he did to his incredulous friend.

• 52:48Speaker 00

  They ran as far as they could, about 25 feet, before they heard a scream echo through the forest. Scrambling up a vine into a tree, the Alan appeared below, beside herself with fury that the man had done such a thing. She struggled to get up the tree to get them, and then noticed the vine that the men had left hanging down, the one that they said they climbed "feet first," as that was the only way to climb that particular vine. Thinking that it couldn't really be this easy, they were wrong. They chopped the vine, and she plummeted to the ground, dying. They sacked her house of all the gold and beads she had and went home. Aside from everything we've talked about so far, the Alan had the ability to take

• 53:30Speaker 00

  things like afterbirth or menstrual blood and form them into human children that they raise. What stands out to me is that these things are not bad. They don't actually seem to hurt people, and they seem very fair. Splitting the pig in one story and letting the man keep almost all of the funeral beads they laid out when they thought he was so cowardly that they killed him, things only turned sour when one kept the bead and the other tossed the child into a cauldron of boiling water. So yeah, give them back their beads and don't boil their children, and you should be fine.

• 54:13Speaker 00

  That's it for this time. Myths and Legends is by Jason and Carissa Weiser. Our theme song is by Broke for Free, and the Creature of the Week music is by Steve Combs. There are links to the other music we used in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening, and we will see you next time.

• 54:34Speaker 06

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