MTGM EXTRA! "I went looking..."

You can never accuse Vogue & Joanne of not covering the serious topics again. Not after this episode... Plus, Vogue is being invited to everything and Joanne has had enough. Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe. The North American Dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome to my therapist goes with me, the bonus episode with myself, Vogue Williams and herself, Joanne McNally.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  I'm going to the rugby. Big rugby fan over here. Ireland v England.

• 0:55Speaker 03

  That'll be go crack now.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  Oh, it will be because Ireland are actually, it's not like the football and there's nothing wrong with that. We can't be great at everything. The rugby.

• 1:03Speaker 03

  We have a chance. Yeah, we're really good at rugby.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  I don't look at the game though, when Ireland are playing because I genuinely feel that I bring bad luck. So I will look away whenever.

• 1:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've said that for years. Yeah.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  I'm a bad omen.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  You don't realise, I'm actually a really accomplished basketball player. I've just never told you because I can't afford you coming to the matches because I will lose because you are a bad omen. I play for Ireland. I'm on the A's. I'm on the firsts. Yeah.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  That's fantastic.

• 1:31Speaker 03

  Joe's been loads of times. That was Joe.

• 1:33Speaker 02

  Oh, better off not having me.

• 1:35Speaker 04

  Wonderful to watch you work.

• 1:36Speaker 03

  I'm like a.

• 1:39Speaker 03

  I'm a basketball savant. That's what the papers are saying. But Vogue, like I say, I've had to keep it. I've had to keep it away from you because you are a bad omen. Yeah.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  It's so funny how like you just have this totally other life that I don't know about. It's, it's gas, isn't it?

• 1:54Speaker 03

  I know. Yeah.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  She's actually really good at the cello as well.

• 1:57Speaker 03

  Cello. Yeah.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  I did, I saw you in the orchestra. I went to see an orchestra and I knew it was you.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  Yes. Well, when that, the second that happened, I cut both my wrists accidentally on my strings. Yep.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  And had to be sectioned. And I said, that's Vogue's fault because she looked at me.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  I, I am a curse.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  I don't know if you've noticed, but when you come to shows, I have you facing the other way. You haven't noticed yet because I think you're scrolling on your phone. You haven't noticed, but you're actually facing the wall.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  I did, I heard a few bits of the show, you can't say I wasn't watching. Why do you think Svenny goes away to do is running? He's like, I can't run in front of her.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I can't run.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  Yeah. Now, Camer, where is this rugby?

• 2:35Speaker 02

  It's on in Twickenham. And I have two Irish, I have two Irish rugby jerseys. Now, no offence to anyone British, because if Ireland lose, I'll then be up for you. But, in the meantime, I won't put my kids in an English rugby jersey.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  And I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna take Spencer's English rugby jersey and I'm gonna say, well, you have to wear something. And I'll give him the Irish rugby jersey.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  That's patriotism. It, it, it's ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  I agree. I, I like winners.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Whoever's winning, I'm with them.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  I like winners.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Hundred per cent. Did you hear about that fella? Your man, your man, who basically, there was this fella, and he, he got 1.1 million dollars put into his account by accident. James Whittaker, 34 years old. And instead of giving the money back, he's like, I'll take the prison sentence.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  Now, I, I need to, I need to ask, is this true? Not that, it doesn't matter, but I know sometimes me and you get, we get kind of caught out by stories that are actually a PR stunt for a prison. Do you know what I mean? Like, is this a PR, like that Korean facelift PR campaign? And the guy divorced his wife because she turned out the kids were ugly and she had a facelift.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  And have you seen the horses skiing now? I didn't even look for the AI tag. I was like, horses don't ski. I was watching that yesterday and I was like, this is, no, no.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  Is this a PR stunt? Because surely everyone would do a year in prison for a million quid, no?

• 4:00Speaker 02

  It's 1.1 million dollars. And when you think about it, the bank transferred the money. Now, listen, let me finish.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  Waste of time.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  That's 2.2. Yeah, but Joanne, that's 2.2 if you add tax. So he's made 2.2 million dollars in a year. He's got, and do you know how much money he'll save in there? He's not paying rent, he's not paying for his food. So he's basically then living off the state, going into prison. And with any luck, he'll do a Martha Stewart. Did you see her prison? She was just going around teaching people things.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  You're impressive, folks. I'm sticking with you. I'm sticking with you. You are a business bitch.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  I wouldn't, this man has played a bloody blinder.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  I didn't even think about the lack of rent.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  Never occurred to me.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Juman, you're on a fucking holiday for a year. You've no job in there. You're taking the year off and being paid for it.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  And you've prison officers, you have free concierge.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's on gardening leave.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  He's on a jolly.

• 4:57Speaker 04

  Sorry, I can only find the story on Instagram. That doesn't mean it's not real, but it's not reported by any news.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  That lad's on a jolly. Is it a Facebook, is it a Facebook story, Joe? Because I've been stung by Facebook stories before.

• 5:09Speaker 04

  Well, I'm currently reading the story on an Instagram account called The Dude Humor Report, so.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  Listen, Joe.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  Where we get all our factual news. If it's not on The Dude Humor Report, I refuse to believe it, frankly.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  It's all, I tell you what, news is always real if it's on The Dude Humor, whatever it's called, and The Daily Mail. Then we know it's true. We know it's factual.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Listen, the truth of the matter is, we don't need to be factual.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Or, or sorry, if it's on the Drunk People Doing Things Instagram page as well, that's always real.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  I live there.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Never a lie. I love that page. I'm like, it makes me feel so good about myself. I'm like, actually, I'm not that bad.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  I know. Yeah, it was like a friend of mine started AA and she did, she went to a meeting and she left. She was like, I'm Grant. Because the stories she heard were so bad. And I was like, no, no, I think you should go back. I think you should stick with us.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  I know somebody who also went to a couple of meetings and was like, these people are, this is not my level.

• 6:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  It is your level.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  I was actually speaking to another friend of mine who, who is in AA and they were like, that's a really common problem where people come and they judge themselves by maybe the worst stories within that group, or someone's chairing a meeting and they have like, you know, a real rock bottom and then they're like, oh, I'm absolutely fine. And then go on to drink themselves to death. But anyway, sorry, that's, I can't remember, what, what am I referring to?

• 6:30Speaker 02

  I don't know. I mean, we started on this fellow, James Whitaker, but anyway, it's taken a turn.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Well, I, you know, you're not going to like what I have to say.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  What?

• 6:38Speaker 03

  I would go to, I would, I want to go to prison.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  John, that can be easily organised. And I think you'll need the break after the tour.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  Joe, find out where Lucy Leppe is. I want to go in there. I want to speak to her directly. Find it, Joe, Google it.

• 6:55Speaker 02

  Now, I know that you are convinced that that woman might be innocent. I know somebody.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, I think there's questions. I think she had, I think there was flaws on both sides of the, about legal teams. But I do think she's guilty. I do, I'm sorry.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, I think.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  I've nothing to base it on, which is the problem. It's all circumstantial. Do you know what I was actually speaking to someone about it the other day? And this, again, this is why, like, I'm not.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Look at Joe getting worried. Like, you can see Joe's face when we start talking about serious things.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  It's the talk of the town because there are questions and there are holes in the argument on both sides. And if she is innocent, my God, this has to be one of the biggest miscarriages of justice in, well, certainly our lifetime. But I do think, do you know?

• 7:45Speaker 03

  And again, this is why I'm not a legal professional. The fact she didn't defend herself in court, I don't know why, but that, that, that to me.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Two, two things.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Is off.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  If police came into my bedroom in the morning and started telling me that I was being accused of murder, I'd have more things to say.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  In her defence, when they came in to arrest, Joe, Joe, it's fine, Joe, this is fine. In her, in her defence, when they came in to arrest her, it was, this was going on two years at this stage. It's not that she didn't know this was possible.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  You'd still be a bit, a bit more weirded out with them all coming into your room instead of just sitting there. Like, come on, have a bit, like, there's absolutely no emotion. And didn't she not turn up to her sentencing? I just think that that's so fucking grim after everything that you did just say. She's one of, she's the worst child killer in the history of Britain.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  Do you know what's so strange? And I don't know whether it's because we just have this rapport, but now that you're arguing that she's guilty, I feel like I need to defend her. I don't know why. I'm like, well, hold on a second now, there, there are holes in the prosecution.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  How is this woman not gotten a job on This Morning? Or Good Morning Britain? You know, somebody always has to take the shitty side. There's Good Morning Britain, there's always a real shitty side.

• 8:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  You should take that.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  Well, do you remember, so there's a pub down the road from where I live.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  Donald Trump was a gentleman.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  I would call him chivalrous, frankly.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  My point is, and a lot of nurses I speak to, when I say speak to, like women in my DMs who I chat to, who I've never met, nurses are convinced she is innocent. Someone was saying to me the other day, there's a saying where it's when there's a crime, find the woman, they're always blaming the other woman, they're talking about maybe, maybe the care in the hospital wasn't up to scratch. Anyway, folk, like I say, I'm just representing both sides. I do think she's guilty.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  What is that? We put a bag in her face.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  There's a phrase, there's a phrase for doctors who, what's a call, Jo? So they basically, because they're able to take life away and bring people back, and some doctors, like, they, they, not, I mean, very rarely.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  Jesus complex.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, the god, the god, you're right, the god complex, where they, they can basically take life away and then bring people back. And there's, there's that, like, I mean, remember Harold Shipman? I mean, we're really getting deep into things. He was absolutely grim killing people.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, but he, he had a strong motivation. It was money. The problem with Lucy is they can't find a motive for it. There was no, I think, from my-

• 10:06Speaker 02

  The god complex is her motive.

• 10:08Speaker 03

  I think it was for attention. I think it gave her attention. Yeah, and it gave her power. That's it. I don't think she was financially motivated, because obviously there was no finance, there was no financial benefit from it. Jo's getting very, Jo's sweating visibly on his face. What shall we do next? Do the Epstein files or trans women in sport? What would you like?

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Let's just revert to form. Let's just talk about penguins ice skating.

• 10:29Speaker 02

  Well, let's go back to horses on skis.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  God forbid we have a serious conversation about anything.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  Sometimes I think people imagine me and you, Joanne, just sitting there talking utter shite the whole time. We actually do talk about-

• 10:44Speaker 03

  Time for telly tobes.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  We do keep up with current affairs.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  Well, I, I, I'm not current. I'm like what's happening five years ago. I tend to lock into, I'm, I'm, I'm a big woman for like, I'll latch into a story that was huge in 2010. Do you know what I mean?

• 10:58Speaker 02

  The best ones.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  And really get, really get involved. Yeah. Lucy, if you're listening, I, I, I'd like to know why you didn't speak for yourself in court, but listen.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  I feel very strongly that she's guilty. So, and I guess what? Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  A hundred percent, a billion percent. I must listen to that podcast. Also, imagine being the parents, the horror of, of this, this happening, the person being accused, found guilty in a court of law, like in a court of law, found guilty, and then people are-

• 11:36Speaker 02

  You look so like that girl from Dairy Girls.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  Saoirse Monica Jackson.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:40Speaker 03

  We must watch Lisa McGee's new show.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I heard there's something, yeah. Someone actually told me about that. Someone who's designing a dress for me told me about that.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, what is it, Jo?

• 11:50Speaker 04

  How to Get to Heaven from Belfast.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  How to Get to Heaven, I'm gonna write that.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, Saoirse's in it. It's Lisa McGee, who wrote Dairy Girls, her new show. Garou, which did the late, late recently, and they were on, Lisa and Saoirse were on with Garou.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Sorry, this is a really weird segue, but I was meant to go to a dinner last night for Agent Provocateur.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Sorry, am I chopped liver?

• 12:16Speaker 02

  With Emily.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  No rugby invitation, no Provocateur.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Emily, they know about our knickers. I was surprised that I was invited. But Emily Atack, have you seen her? She's doing the new campaign and she looks, I mean, sorry, she looks, I love her because I love Rival so much.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, Rival's fantastic.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Joanne, she's going to the rugby.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  I'm sick of being your ugly underdog, Standon. I want my own invitations to my own events. Jo, ring Rick now.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  She's done. Would you like an email?

• 12:55Speaker 03

  Is it an invitation to something? Otherwise, no, I don't want it.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Dear Joanne, would you like to come to the rugby with Vogue? There is catering. There is catering.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  Yes, I would, actually, yes.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  Okay, perfect. Joanne, watch this. Joanne will be in Cork doing a show, or she'll be, you're in Australia.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  What's the date?

• 13:15Speaker 02

  It's on the 21st of February.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  Joanne's in Dublin.

• 13:19Speaker 03

  I'm in Dublin, yeah, I'm on tour, sorry, I'm in the Olympia.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  I don't invite you places.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  Well, yeah.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  I have it for July and I'm, I'm content with that.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  It's nice to be invited, you know?

• 13:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Okay, great. I'm actually going to Ireland on Friday. Would you like to come with me?

• 13:33Speaker 03

  I have a terrible, I have a terrible vision of you front page of the Irish Times in a, in an, in an English rugby jersey though. Please folk, don't let us down.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Are you crazy?

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Even if they start winning.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  You're gonna wear an Irish rugby jersey to the rugby. Come on. It'd be a good joke. Come on. He will. I'll make sure of it. Don't worry.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  He can, because we're the underdogs. You can't.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Are you, are you crazy? Do you honestly think? Anyway, um, okay, email, email. Twenty one minutes into the bonus. Okay. I went looking or handwritten letters?

• 14:07Speaker 03

  I went looking.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  God, can I just say something about handwritten letters? The amount of thank you cards that the kids get from other children and I'm just not.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  What?

• 14:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not that mom. I really wanna be that mom, but I'm not, I'm not that mom.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  I got one, I got one Christmas card this year and it was from a brand.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  I don't think I got any.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  And then I realised, I said, Joanne, you can't sit here feeling sorry for yourself. You don't send any cards. If you don't send any, you can't, you can't expect to accept any.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  I don't want, I'm like, I love, I did this with Kieran on my business part and I said, you don't get me anything for Christmas and I won't get you anything. That's my favourite kind of deal. It's the best deal to have. Don't send me a card and I won't send you a card. But so many people send thank you cards and I'm like, I'm not a terrible mom who doesn't get my kids to do that. They're rude.

• 14:53Speaker 03

  I want to say, so I found this, you know, the way we like, we've, we've lost our kind of culture corner, culture pocket, whatever we were calling ourselves. But I was obviously scrolling last night and I'm after, so there's this events company, I guess, called Pints of Knowledge, which are based in London, and they do talks all around London about anything. It could be space, Instagram, gender, whatever. But I've booked one for, it's called How the Internet Is Pulling Men and Women Apart, called The Algorithm Divide, which I'm very interested in, because I do firmly believe that my disdain for monogamy or distrust of men at the moment is completely based on my algorithm.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  I do, I really, really do.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, but once you start, once you start clicking on certain things and that's what just comes up for you. So it just like kind of poisons you.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  Exactly. So I will feed back. Carrie Anwold.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Don't worry. We did notice that we were not invited or thought of for that either, but it's fine.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  No, no, no, don't you dare.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  It's a one way street. It's a one way street. No, no, no. You don't have personal private time with me. That's it. I am your personal private time. Okay. What did we say we were gonna do? I went looking.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  I went looking.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Okay, girls. Why do we do it? Why do we go looking?

• 16:11Speaker 03

  Cause we know.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  We know. You go looking when you know. Oh, look, I know. I know. It's because we know. But seriously, why? Also fuck you, Joe, as the man in the room. Oh, Joe. Jesus. My boyfriend's.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Okay. Yeah. Joe's fragile. He's fine. Go on.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Sorry, Joe. I just added that. I just added that line in. It wasn't an email.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  My boyfriend has always been the type of, to follow lots of women he barely knows. Oh, on Insta. But he's, because he's, and he's always taking lunch at work with his girl mates. But I went looking because I was suspicious of his relationship with this one woman at work. He often mentions her and it's always about a funny thing she's said or done and he basically advertising that he fancies her. I've gone into his phone and I knew the place I had to look was on his team's messages to her. Fair play. I wouldn't even think about that. There it was. All day, all the time. Constant messages to her about fuck all to do with work. I looked back and in the last two weeks, he's mentioned Valentine's to her five times. Five fucking times. Like what the fuck?

• 17:18Speaker 02

  I know exactly what we're doing for Valentine's because it's the same thing we did last year. We'll get a takeaway and he'll make the assumption that I've bought new lingerie just because he bought some shit roses. Don't get me wrong, I'm angry and making it sound bad, but I do love him. He's just a stupid fucking man, but I'm feeling possessive because he's supposed to be my stupid man.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:37Speaker 02

  The last message to this woman was still no plans for Valentine's yet, better get creative lol. Is this guy 12? Basically, is there any world that exists where I can confront him? Or is it too sneaky what I did? How on earth you have held back from confronting him immediately? I would have no self-control. I would read them and be ringing him at the time of continuously reading the messages. I wouldn't be able to help myself. So, well done.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Can I ask, I don't understand the Valentine thing. Is he asking her if she's got plans?

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's like, kinda like lol, what are your plans? Like, you've nothing organized and like, just kinda chatting to her about whatever.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Okay, so it's him to her, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he fancies her, yeah.

• 18:18Speaker 02

  I'd say he fancies her, I'd say that he...

• 18:21Speaker 03

  It's the truth, it's the matter.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  He probably knows it's gone too far. I'd say he still does love you.

• 18:27Speaker 03

  No, no, no, this man will stand head held proud. What are you talking about? We're only chatting, I can't have any friends, it's a work thing. But we all know, he's crossing the line, he's getting his ego stroked, he fancies her, sorry.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  I, he is crossing the line. I, if I was in your position, that probably wouldn't be something I'd accept. And I always feel bad saying this because it's someone's life and it is happening to somebody. But like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I would be too pissed off at that, it's, it's...

• 18:58Speaker 03

  But the other thing is technically he's done nothing wrong. Like, this is just your feel, your feelings. You're like, he's giving her too much attention, it's making you uncomfortable. We know there's a flirtation there, he's obviously attracted to her in some way, that's why he's giving her all the attention. Chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, all day, all night, whatever. But like, he's done nothing wrong technically, if you go by the boundaries of a relationship. Like, he's not trying to, he's not suggesting they ride, he's not having sex with her, but... There is an emotional line that has been crossed in, in, in her eyes. And I, I would agree with her. I'd be like her. I'd be like, yeah, this is.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  I'd, yeah.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  You're playing with fire here now. You're making me feel like shit and.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  I think, I think.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  It's a horrible feeling. It's a horrible feeling. I've been there myself. It was horrible.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think that everybody would kind of agree with you that it's gone too far and he'll probably try and gaslight you to say that it hasn't gone too far. I always look at it and I'm like, would I do that to you in a relationship? I wouldn't do that to you. Like, what kind of respect level are we at here? Like, there's no way I would cross a line like that with somebody. And if Spenny was doing that to me, I'd be like, you're fucking dead.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're out, you're out, pal.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  I'd make him go stay with you for a while, John.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  Oh, God. I don't know where I'd put him.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  He could go in the pilates, but no, it's really.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  Tim was head to toe in the bed. I'm like, we've both pissed her off now. We need to make amends. We need to get back into the bigger.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  You need to get out. I don't think necessarily you have to, like, it's the end of a relationship here if you want to try and make it work. But that would be a big line crossing for me. That, that to me is like, it's like when people omit the truth from me. So they're not lying to me, but they're not telling me the full truth. So that in itself is lying to me. So this to me would be along the lines of cheating and I'd be like, this isn't, it does not sit okay with me.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's always technicalities and people will always defend their position and all that. I had a similar situation years ago. I was going out with this guy and like that, he started this emotional affair with a woman. And he, who never admitted anything to me, like ever, because he was also physically cheating, but this was just an emotional thing. Said, he admitted, he was like, yeah, look, we crossed a line because nothing physical happened. She was very much, you know, defending her position.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  What you're fucking playing on.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  You know what you're doing. You know exactly what you're doing. You know what you're doing. It's a betrayal. Lines are crossed.

• 21:13Speaker 02

  You know exactly what you're doing. You know that you shouldn't be getting involved in people's relationships like that. It's not just the woman who's at fault. I mean, I will go back to the time that I, that I scored that guy, kissed that guy when I was like 16 and he was going out with somebody else and she actually mailed me, she heard it on the pod. And I have felt so bad about that. I'm just like, I just couldn't be the one to be. But like, then he's leading this girl on as well. Like, why is he constantly mailing her? And like, like, why is he doing that? Like, why does he need to do that?

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Now, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not turning this into a boy, girl thing. But what I will say is I've, I've met guys where there's like a vibe maybe or some chemistry, but then. They're in a relationship, so I'm like, oh no, you're a gra. Do you know, like, I won't engage in it. When I was younger, I probably wouldn't have had the cop on, but now I do. I understand it. I'm like, no, no. I won't, we won't be texting and we won't be ringing and we won't be meeting up, do you know?

• 22:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  Anyway, I don't know where I've gone with that, but yeah, it's shit because she can't say she hacked into his meeting messages. Really? She can't? Like, you just can't?

• 22:18Speaker 02

  Oh god, really? No, I just, honestly, I would not be able to hold it in. I wouldn't be. I would be ringing while reading them. I can't, I'm just not that kind of person.

• 22:28Speaker 03

  Do you know what, do you know what actually, do you know what actually, you're dead right. He, she's in a position to be like, he, he's gonna defend it. He's gonna say, nothing happened, blah, blah, blah. And nothing has happened, fine, but like, whatever. He's dancing the dance with the devil. I'd be like, do you know what? I was really paranoid about it. Something resonated with me. My instincts were on fire. My spidey senses were burning. And yeah, I went into your phone and I've seen now there's something going on and I'm not comfortable with this and.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  This sounds really bad, but like, have the chat with him, have the chat with him. He's obviously gonna defend himself. And then just go fucking cold silent on him because it will take him a while to realise it because I'm not like, Svenny and I don't fight about things like that. But like, if me and Sven have a fight about something, I'll literally say to him, I'll be like, you're doing the same thing. You're gonna apologize to me in about half a day and then we'll talk. And I, and I just leave him. I'm like, if you, if you send me one more message, I'm blocking you. And like, I'll just leave it. And you just have to, say your piece, take a step back and then he'll realise, because he will try and gaslight you.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Or set him up. Set a trap.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  Oh god.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  No, Jo, no, you haven't heard it yet.

• 23:34Speaker 03

  I think, actually, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm reconnecting with my girlfriend, flex, my girlfriend muscle, which I haven't had for a while, what I would do is I'd be like, what is the crack with you and this woman? It sounds like you fancy her. Are you chat, like, would you be chatting during the day? See what he says.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  Get him to li- get him to lie.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  See if he deletes the messages and then look again.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  He won't because he'll never think she saw them. He'll never think.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  Oh, I would, I would check.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  See what he says. And if he lies about it, now you have him by the balls. And then you go, well, actually, once you skip a few FYI, I fucking hacked into your, your messages. And I know you're chatting to her all day. So now you're lying to me about it. What's going on?

• 24:19Speaker 02

  Or, or.

• 24:20Speaker 03

  That's what I would do.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Leave it, leave it like a day. Say it to him. Ask that question. He'll deny it. Leave it a day. Then check again. And if he's deleted the chat, which he might do, Joanne, they're not all that stupid. If he's deleted the chat, then you say, well, I looked at your chat and then I looked again after we spoke and he deleted it all. So if there was nothing wrong, why did you delete it?

• 24:39Speaker 03

  Objection, objection, Your Honour. She doesn't need. Sustained. She's sustained. Overruled. She doesn't need to check it again because she, she's well within her rights. Because he's been, he's been snaky.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  Guilty as charged.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  I, no, but I would, I would, I would test him. I would test the waters. It'd be like, are you chatting to her all day?

• 24:59Speaker 02

  And please let us know what happens. Let us know what happens.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  I mean, it could be innocent enough, but I just don't think it is. I'm sorry. Join the female commune. Get rid of this lad. He's a snake.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  Joanne and I are essentially starting our own commune. She's coming to live beside me. And that's our commune. We're starting it.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  It's the only way. That's why I'm going to this talk on how the algorithm is driving us all apart. Because I've, I've really lost faith in the system.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Okay, everyone, thank you so much.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  Thanks a million. Yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  We'll see you on the next one. That has been enlightening. I've enjoyed myself. I've enjoyed both of you.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  This has been a Global Player original production.

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• 26:10Speaker 05

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