What’s happening, Channing?

They’re on different continents again… Joanne is in the US for the start of her tour (which you should DEFINITELY see by the way…) and Vogue is in London with little Remy right there in his papoose. He’s too much! There’s so much to discuss though… Did Channing Tatum have a burner account (LEGALLY - he did NOT) and will Joanne get a hair transplant in the near future? All of these things are VERY important. My Therapist Ghosted Me is a Global Production. Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com http://www.joannemcnally.com/ If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] mailto:[email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com http://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/ This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:15Speaker 01

  Finger sticks are required if your glucose alarms or readings do not match symptoms, or when you see check blood glucose symbol for the first 12 hours. The views expressed should not be used for medical diagnosis or treatment as a substitute for professional medical advice. Individual circumstances may vary. For prescription only. Safety info found at freestylelibre.us.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  This is a global production.

• 0:34Speaker 03

  Speaking of thirsty bastards, Channing Tatum, if this was a woman now, there'd be no evidence. Do you know what I mean? The thing would be wiped clean.

• 0:42Speaker 04

  There's no bigger shame than being caught having a burner accountable.

• 0:51Speaker 03

  Where's me notes? Where's me notes?

• 0:54Speaker 04

  Hello and welcome.

• 0:57Speaker 03

  She's going to the canal.

• 1:01Speaker 04

  There's just some of those things that keep coming up. Mine is the ghost one. Is that a ghost? I just.

• 1:09Speaker 03

  That's very rude.

• 1:11Speaker 05

  For the benefit of those who aren't familiar, what accents are you performing at the moment?

• 1:15Speaker 04

  Well, we don't know. Whatever you want to call them.

• 1:17Speaker 03

  There's a Scouse. There's a Scouse and then kind of a Manc accent in there. We're butchering the British accent, the eclectic selection like they do to us.

• 1:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love that you prefaced it with that. You're like, you do it to us, so we're getting you back.

• 1:34Speaker 03

  In defence, yeah.

• 1:36Speaker 05

  You have all been top of the morning to you'd enough.

• 1:39Speaker 04

  I've been potatoed.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:41Speaker 04

  Can't tell you how many times I've gotten potatoed.

• 1:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44Speaker 04

  It's like, no. So I would just like to point something out to everybody before we start, if you would mind, Joanne. The sound might be a little bit strange because Joanne, in all her madness of packing, so strangely forgot her, all of her pod equipment, but like it's.

• 2:03Speaker 05

  It's just unbelievable.

• 2:04Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 2:06Speaker 04

  I think it's very believable.

• 2:07Speaker 03

  And say, folk, I firstly am my authentic self and you can't change me. And I refuse to be sanitized for the man.

• 2:19Speaker 04

  I wouldn't dream of changing you.

• 2:21Speaker 03

  When you talked about the noise, you were talking about the gurgling that's happening at your breast.

• 2:25Speaker 04

  Yeah. Now, not breastfeeding. I am, there's a baby strapped in, what do you call them? A papoose. Cause he sleeps here sometimes.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  Oh, sorry. I assumed he was getting stuck into the tit.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  No, look there.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  There's a lot of.

• 2:41Speaker 04

  Hello.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 2:45Speaker 04

  I know. It's bring your baby to work day.

• 2:49Speaker 03

  Hold on. Jo, how come she can bring her baby to work, but I don't bring my microphone or any of my pod equipment to work and I'm in trouble?

• 2:55Speaker 05

  Because she's adding something. You are taking things away. She has added the baby. You took your microphone away.

• 3:03Speaker 04

  Jo.

• 3:03Speaker 05

  I text you on Thursday last week.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  No, you didn't.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  This feels like you are, this feels like.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  Joanne, you had a reminder and you forgot.

• 3:12Speaker 05

  I said, and this is in capitals, please, please, please pack the following things. Podcast stuff, brackets, microphone, stand, cables, light, camera, laptop, charger.

• 3:24Speaker 04

  Joanne, that's pretty bad.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  Did I write back?

• 3:28Speaker 05

  No, you wrote back to me 12 hours later saying, can you remember my big horse shag in debate? What was it?

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Jo. I needed it for Unacceptable series two. I couldn't remember my debate. Yeah.

• 3:43Speaker 04

  I was thinking that Joanne should write a packing list. Like, you know, those people who write a list and every time they go away, like they do a weekend break packing list, or they do a summer holiday packing list. I just thought Joanne could do a packing list just for general things. But if Joe texts you the day before, I mean, I don't know if the packing list is going to work. Jo, it's fine. She's only gone for two months. Relax. God, it's only nearly a whole series. Chill.

• 4:08Speaker 05

  Before we started recording, this is, this is why I found it triggering, right? Cause you went, oh, do you know what you should do, Joanne? You should do a packing list. And she went, yeah, I know.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  I know. Well, do you know, to be fair, in my defence, I actually did bag up the equipment, but then just didn't take the bag with me. It was all a bit chaotic the next day. But look, she's from here now, you know.

• 4:30Speaker 04

  She's on time. That's all I give a shit about. The sound's not my problem. That's your problem, Jo. So if you want to be upset, go. I don't care. She's on time. The setup, I tell you what, the setup was a dream today. Cause there was none. We actually.

• 4:42Speaker 05

  There was none, yeah.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 4:44Speaker 04

  Usually it takes about 15 minutes for her to get her camera on.

• 4:47Speaker 05

  If it sounds like it was recorded on a potato, it doesn't matter. And no, that's not a slur. It's just the first word that came out of my mind.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  How dare you. I had Catherine Bowhart was working with her the other day and she said she's had the potato thing as well. But like people saying, calling them, because Phil Wang was saying that one time he was on stage, he's British Asian, he was saying he was on stage once and someone shouted out, give me a 58. It was a number like as off a Chinese menu. Yeah. And we were talking about kind of heckles and racist heckles. And Catherine Bowhart was saying she's had the potato thing a couple of times, but I was saying, the potato thing sadly is quite sweet.

• 5:25Speaker 04

  I had the potato thing loads off somebody on a TV show and the producers actually called that person in. And we're like, you've got to stop saying potato to Vogue. And then the person came out and was like to me, gee, sorry, am I insulting you? And I said, no. And he was like, well, I've been told not to say it to you anymore. Cause every, every time they, he, whatever saw me, they were like potato. And I just thought it was quite funny and it was kind of cute. Potato. And just like that as well.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  So he, he, I love the word, they, he, so he.

• 5:58Speaker 04

  They, he, or, or she.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  It's Jamie, isn't it? Jamie Hart.

• 6:07Speaker 04

  No, Jamie Hart. It was not him. I can tell you that much.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  There was someone said to me on a record recently and they were, and they were being very, like there was no malice in it at all. And they were like, being very sweet about it. And actually they were kind of mortified after it. But they were saying, do you mind me asking, we ended up getting onto the famine, the usual, you know yourself. And they were like, do you mind me asking why you just didn't eat anything else? Like was there, do you know what I'm saying? And then I was with another Irish comedian and I was like, well, you took, you took them and sell them. And she was like, what? And I was like, yeah. And she was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I was like, yeah, we just didn't know where, we couldn't find the fridge. Fridge was full of baby bells, dairly dunkables, fresh meat, fish, veg. We just weren't arsed.

• 7:00Speaker 04

  We actually did have enough potatoes as well, but you took the potatoes as well. They took the potatoes that we had. We had enough potatoes.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  Lazy.

• 7:07Speaker 04

  They're gone. Took them away, Jo.

• 7:09Speaker 05

  As the English person in the room, there's two things to say, which is to say, A, sorry.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  You're grand.

• 7:16Speaker 05

  And B, it is woefully, woefully.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  It underreported, it is. It is. Do you know what?

• 7:24Speaker 05

  We just, we just, it's not taught, it's bad.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Sadie Smith, who is a British writer, but her, I think her husband's Irish. She talks at length about how Jamaican and Irish history isn't taught at all in British schools. She's a, she's really interesting. You should listen to her. She did a great podcast with Annie Mac all about this. And it's very, very interesting. And I was like, it's nice to be seen.

• 7:47Speaker 04

  I mean, you can, you can kind of see why they wouldn't, they wouldn't touch on it.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, yeah, it's not great PR for them really, is it?

• 7:53Speaker 04

  We've had an interesting week here in this house. There's, there's been a robbery. Well, an almost robbery in our house. Yeah. So let me tell you.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  So you know the way Spencer's obsessed with his car? And I mean, whenever I drive it, he has to run through how I park and how I, where's the bloody indicator, everything. Cause he's obsessed with his car. He loves it so much. And we were having a delivery. He went out on Friday in the car. He came back. He said he brought the car key and put it in the usual spot. We had a delivery on Saturday morning. And then he realised on Saturday, on Sunday, when I went to take the car, the key was missing. And I was like, where's the key? And I threw an absolute stinker at him because I was like, now I'm late for the baby's appointment. I'm not going to make it here. And if it was you who needed the key, you'd have left the key out where you want the key. Where have you put the key? I spent 20 minutes looking for it, couldn't find it. Then he came home and we realised somebody had tried to steal the car.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  And there was, cause well, first of all, he said to me, it's you or Amber. You were pissed last night and you're always looking for chewing gum. Were you out there in the car looking for chewing gum? Pardon? He was like, you always do weird shit when you're drunk. I was like, I haven't gone and rummaged.

• 9:07Speaker 03

  How many E's are you doing with Amber?

• 9:13Speaker 04

  Chewing up.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  It's insane.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  I've gone out rummaging in your car at two in the morning, looking for chewing up. I was asleep beside you. Thank you very much. Anyway, so he's, well, he's like, well, I wouldn't have left all those papers all over the seat like that. And I was like, well, I didn't leave the papers on the seat. Anyway, cut to, he has a thing on his car where you can't just start it with the key. You have to do like this series of events in the car before it will start. I ring him every time I have to start the car because I forget how to do it because it's so, there's like different things to press, all this kind of jobs. So it turned out he has this tracker on it. Somebody came and tried to steal the car at quarter past two in the morning. And, and they pulled all the stuff out, obviously looking how to try and turn it on because they had the key. And we thought the delivery men had stolen the key.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  And so we were like, oh my God, there's been people in our house stealing the key. This is like terrible. And then I couldn't sleep because I couldn't, I was worried about the kids and like, anyway.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  How did they get the key? And sorry, can I just say, well, I was down at yours recently and we found him. We found Spencer kind of hovering at the car. It was like he was waiting for people to pass by and ask him about the car. And it was very, and I, I said, I love your car. And he actually smiled more than when I said, congratulations on the child.

• 10:28Speaker 05

  What is the car? For, for context, for anyone who cares, what is the car and why does he care so much?

• 10:34Speaker 04

  Oh God, is it an Audi, an Audi, an Audi? RX eight or something, RX five, is that what it's called? I don't know.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  It is, it is slick looking now, to be fair.

• 10:46Speaker 04

  It's a cool car. And when I'm driving it, I have people stop and say like, oh wow, nice car. And I'm like, oh my God, didn't know it was this cool. Anyway, I'll tell you what happened. So then on Monday morning, Svenny rings the police and the police come over to the house. Very helpful, might I add, because I was like, why are you bothering? They're not going to do anything. Extremely helpful, looked at the CCTV. Your man walks up to the car at quarter past two in the morning and clicks it open. Uh, no, and, and looks in it, the key is in the car. So Svenny left the key in his pride and joy. So your man opens the car. Yeah, took the key and then he left his little, he had this little like electrics thing to try and whatever way they try and say. And a drill left them both in the car. So they're obviously in a really big rush. So tried to steal the car.

• 11:31Speaker 04

  Svenny has the police over and they're just like, okay, well, this is what's happened. Someone's trying to steal your car. And then, because they still have the key, because I was like, why, I was like, well, they're hardly going to drop the key back. So then the next night, they do it again at quarter past two in the morning. Twenty seven times they tried to start the car because Svenny has this thing where he's watching it. And now he has to, yeah. And now he has to disable the key and everything. It's going to cost like two and a half grand to get the whole, the whole thing has to now be changed. Because someone's just wandering around with that key, trying to rob it whenever they want.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  This is a great ad for the security of those cars. This is similar to, do you remember when your one had that Stanley cup in the car and her car went on fire? And the only thing left was the Stanley cup. And then Stanley like paid for a new car for her and stuff. This is similar. If that, is it an Audi?

• 12:14Speaker 04

  An Audi, yeah, RX five, is that what it's called or RX six, Joe? I don't know what it's called. Is that what it's called?

• 12:19Speaker 03

  I wouldn't know numbers now around them, but an Audi, that's, I think, a great advertisement for an Audi. That these professionals, like they've got drills and all, this isn't like, just like young lads. This isn't just like the hup lads, like coming back, coming by on an e-scooter and trying to rob the car. This was like a planned heist and they still couldn't get it. That's impressive.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  Two days' warning.

• 12:39Speaker 03

  And now that we've added that, if you want to gift us two Audis. Yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  I'll take, I'll have the QX seven, the RX seven. What's it called? Q seven.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  I'd get a licence first if they could sort that, that'd be fantastic.

• 12:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, if you could, and if you could also send over her pod equipment, that would be really handy.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  So anyway, that was our week, but the police said, actually, they're really stupid, the thieves. Because I was like, how do they not just like steal the car? And he was like, they're actually a lot more, they're a lot like dumber than you think that they are. You think that because they have all these things, they're going to be able to do it. But actually, nine times out of ten, they're a bit stupid. So we end up catching them anyway.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  Well, thank God they didn't, it wasn't a case that they broke into the house and took the key.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  I know, stop. And that's terrible. We were thinking it might have been the delivery people.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  Is Spencer mortified that he left his key in the car? That's very something I would do.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  He's in disbelief. Now, he does have a, he does have ADD as well. Yeah.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  I'd say even if you showed him the CCTV footage of him walking to the car and putting the key in, he'd say it was AI or something. The man is as stubborn as you, two mules.

• 13:41Speaker 04

  There was a deep shock in the household when we realised that he had left the key to his pride and joy in his pride and joy. And that's something that I will now have to bear the brunt of. Because every time I step foot in that bloody car, I'll be told how to park and also to remember to take the key out. When it wasn't me who never, who left the key there in the first place.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Well, this is a win for you in a, in a marital sense.

• 14:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:05Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? Like this is something you can hold over his head till the day you both die.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  He'll go for a staffel.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  I'm delighted for you.

• 14:17Speaker 04

  Tell me where you are, please.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  I'm in Seattle in America.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  First show looked good.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  First show was good. Now I went, so you know the way, this is the tour of the time forgot. And when I say time, I mean myself. So I really, I, and I hold my hands up and say, I didn't do a good job on promoting this tour. I kind of was like, oh, let the chips fall where they may. And the chips didn't fall that far, right? So that's the issue now, but that's okay. I'm chugging along and the, the big point of this roll up is to get the show down to an error for the Netflix special, which is on November 7th in New York. So that's kind of what I'm using it for and to like write up some, some fun American bits that I can throw in. And so that it makes more sense when I'm doing it in the States. So I was off to a good start last night in hour and thirty. And even though I was intentionally on the clock, so tonight now, because I feel like in the room, I'm like, oh, I don't want to hold back.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  You know, we're having a nice time, but of course, like they're not having a nice time. So tonight I'm in Portland, Oregon, and it will be an hour. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. But it's lucky. I mean, I did my long haul flight. I obviously made a fucking pig of myself. I've been trying to deflate myself since I landed. These were shit.

• 15:25Speaker 04

  You've got it, you've got to get your money's worth though.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  Got to get my money's worth.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  So you're in Portland now, where are you going next?

• 15:31Speaker 03

  I've got San Fran, Sacramento, Phoenix, Phoenix, Arizona.

• 15:38Speaker 04

  Cool though.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Denver, Dallas, Texas, Houston, all over. New York, everywhere. Come, come, come, come, come. The tour of the time forgot, come, come, come. Bring your friends, tag your aunts.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  I mean, I enjoy the climb, but not this much.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Like I'm all about a humbling experience to kind of re-ground you, but not this much.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  No, it's too much. You're hurting her feelings.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  I mean, Jesus Christ.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  Salt Lake City.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  You know, it was like, it goes to like, Vogue, you know, the deal. You have to plug your, you have to plug your wares.

• 16:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:12Speaker 03

  You know, and I'm certainly not, I'm nowhere near the point, certainly in America, where I don't have to plug my wares.

• 16:18Speaker 04

  Oh, well, I think it's.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  There's a lot of plugging and a lot of wearing to be done over here, but that's why I'm here.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  You're going to have a nice time.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  Doing God's work. Oh yeah, actually, I forgot. I, I think I questioned my resilience because I haven't done something like this in a while. And I was like, oh no, it's going to be terrible. I'm actually having a really nice time.

• 16:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  I'm going to come home even more of a loner than I already am.

• 16:38Speaker 04

  You're not a loner, you're better than I am.

• 16:40Speaker 03

  You get used to being on your own and then suddenly outside interaction is, is too much work. Because you're just so used to just being mentally shut down all the time. It's a whole thing. I was reading about it, passive socialising.

• 16:53Speaker 04

  Because I've been spending quite a lot of time on my own. I, I feel bad saying that because obviously Remy's with me all the time, but like he's, he's not giving much back. You know what I mean? So like I've spent a lot of time on my own. I'm like, I don't, I don't mind it too much, but I can see how you would fall into like, because then when I see things in the diary, I'm like, oh God, I have to go out and like hang out with people now. And it feels like a lot, like meant, like a big mental load to take it on. But I've kind of like, I've half gone, haven't half gone. I'm, I'm dipping the toe in with some jobs this week. So I did, um, I did a Bear by Vogue shoot yesterday. We did our Christmas shoot and I wore a jacket that you wore in the depths of the summer. And I thought I was going to pass away and die. It like, how anyone.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  The pink fluffy thing from Saviour.

• 17:39Speaker 04

  Christ, I couldn't, it's so hot and sweaty. And that's from a not hot sweaty person. And I just thought of you walking around your garden in thirty six degrees in the hot.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  I go, honestly, I couldn't. But it's nice to be back amongst people and to be allowed to bring the baby with me. Like I did, um, I did a little job today, this morning as well. And then I have something tomorrow. So three, three days of work this week and everyone's let me bring the baby. She looks at you, you're letting me bring the baby to work. He just comes everywhere with me.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  I know, I sure had no choice.

• 18:13Speaker 04

  So for people telling me to enjoy him, I am enjoying him. And I know that the days are long, but the years are short. Stop saying that to every new mother when we're completely wrecked.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  The years are, days are long, but the, oh yeah, they're saying enjoy, enjoy the sleep deprivation and the, the tip must die just now because they'll be, we'll all be dead soon. Yeah, fair.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. Enjoy feeding for 10 hours a day. So yeah, it's just, it's like, there's so, like, I can't believe the comments haven't changed either. It's like, Jesus Christ, can we come up with something new, please? We are enjoying them. We're enjoying them as much as we humanly possibly can, but you also have to enjoy yourself too.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  Vogue, as someone who's had to lie my whole life and tell a million mothers that the baby's the image of them, when I see no resemblance at all. I feel that there's a lot of space to be filled conversationally when people have babies and people are just throwing shit at the wall.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, maybe, well.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  Can't see anything.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  No, no one says that about me and my kids. I'm like, well, I'll show you a picture of me as a baby. Image.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Did I tell you about the time when I went down to Vogue's to see, to meet the new child? Um, the artist previously known as Elvis.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  It's now known as Remy.

• 19:33Speaker 04

  So well, actually, someone said to me today, were you a big Elvis fan? I was like, no, I should have said, if I had have said that.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  You're like, who's Elvis?

• 19:44Speaker 04

  I was.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  Ask Chachi BT.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  But my friend Joe is a big Elvis fan.

• 19:49Speaker 03

  It's like there, I was wearing a T-shirt recently with a band name on it. Actually, I think I spoke with this before and some guy was like, but you can't even name one of their songs. And I was like, how dare you comment on a woman's clothes? You don't know what music I like. Having a fucking clue. This is a, this is, do you know what? This is a real red thread of men with like, kind of Man United flags and they're like, you should take a test before you can wear, do you know one of those? Like you should have to name six Ramones songs. Like, I'm sorry, it's not my fault Ramones have sold their, a logo to Topshop. It's not my problem. Huh? Um, should I tell you my interesting news?

• 20:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  It's not as interesting as having a baby, but you know, they're talking about getting a hair transplant because my, um, hair was slightly receding. That comes with just the age that I am in my life. Um, and some.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  I don't see it, but yes.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  Well, I went in and I was diagnosed with female pattern baldness. Fuck. Excuse you.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, I, I'm not big on labels, but like, give me that.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  Okay. Okay. You can have it.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  I didn't think enough to have an allergy or anything like that. So all I have is female pattern baldness, which I will be putting in my bio stat. So I went in to the hair restoration clinic in Blackrock because they messaged me and they're like, would you like to come in and we'll chat you through this because we don't want you to see, we don't want to see you just nipping off to Turkey and doing something stupid. So I went in for a consultation about this hair transplant that I would like. Now, I just would like kind of, it was really interesting actually chatting. I went into, his name was, I'm going to give you his name.

• 21:20Speaker 04

  I know somebody who got a transplant in there and it was really good.

• 21:24Speaker 03

  I spoke to a doctor, Dr. Dimitri Wall. And anyway, he was examining my hair and he's like, you'd actually be a really good candidate because you've got, I've got like a lot, my, my hair is quite strong. And so he was examining me with one of these kind of like, you know, microscopic, um, uh, camera, camera things. And, um, kind of pinning my hair back and taking photos. It was great. It was great. Lots of attention for the day. It was lovely. And then he goes, oh, and he goes, oh my God, you've got alopecia areata. And I was like, excuse me?

• 21:52Speaker 04

  What the hell is that?

• 21:54Speaker 03

  Exactly what I said. I said, excuse me, what the fuck is that? And he went, oh, it's a, it's alopecia. But it's so, it's, I'll read out the, because I have so much hair now, never noticed before.

• 22:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:06Speaker 03

  I was like loving the drama, but also I was like, what's my, what's the diagnosis here? He's like, it's actually quite a light case. He's like, but it's an autoimmune disease. And I was like, well, this explains why my nails are so shit.

• 22:20Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  It's not the constant acrylics and abuse. I have, I have alopecia areata where your hair, basically your immune system thinks the hair is attacking your body and it like zzz fights back, zzz, zzz, zzz. And you have, I have tiny little bald patches all over my head.

• 22:36Speaker 04

  But why did you chuck the nails in there?

• 22:40Speaker 03

  Because I Googled it then and it said it has a, it has a direct effect on your nails. Your nails are really brittle with it. So I've been, I, I was like, wow, I came in for hair transplant and I've come out with an autoimmune disease. I know. I was like, what causes it? And he was like, stress. And I was like, well, that can't be me.

• 22:57Speaker 04

  You are the least stressed person I know. I don't think you're stressed.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, you know yourself now, you know, they're being, it's stressful. There's stressful parts to.

• 23:09Speaker 04

  So tell me, what could be done?

• 23:11Speaker 03

  I had to have steroid injections in my head. Pat was like, it's the drinking.

• 23:17Speaker 04

  Oh God.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  Obviously. I was like, mum, you'd say that if I got a cataract, do you know what I mean?

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Leave me off. Anyway, so I have an autoimmune disease. Just thought I'd bring that. Teeny tiny bald patches all over my head.

• 23:29Speaker 04

  And tell me, um, so what's happening with the hair transplant?

• 23:33Speaker 03

  Like, I have little crop circles all over my head, bald crop circles.

• 23:39Speaker 04

  You'd never bloody know because you have so much hair. You're like a sweet.

• 23:43Speaker 03

  That's it. He was like, it's just has gone undiagnosed. So then I had to get steroid injections in my, and do you know what he said? Because it was in Ireland, obviously. And he's like, um, oh, he said, uh, do you know who else has it? The hiking woman, Roxanne. And I was like, what? Because yeah, the hiking woman, Roxanne something. And I said, do you mean Roz Purcell?

• 24:02Speaker 04

  Oh, does she?

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, she has it. Yeah, apparently so.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  What? And she's loads of hair as well.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. I hate to say this, but it's quite common.

• 24:13Speaker 04

  Really?

• 24:13Speaker 03

  It's disappointing of course, because I wanted something special. Do you know when you're a kid and you want to wear glasses and braces because you want to stick out? I had a touch of that. I was like, well, this sounds interesting. And then he was like, no, it's quite common actually. Anyway, yeah.

• 24:23Speaker 04

  Stop this.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  Tiny crop circle bald patches all over my head. I have an autoimmune disease. So I've applied for benefits.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  What? Did you get your car, your car passed?

• 24:33Speaker 03

  I was just gonna say.

• 24:36Speaker 04

  Can I borrow it until you get your car? I'm joking. Hang on. Are you getting a hair transplant? Are you getting a hair transplant or no?

• 24:43Speaker 03

  My mother was like, oh, would you not like, would you be public about it? Or would you not do it on the kind of, on privately? And I was like, I can't do, I can't, I, I do, I do a visual podcast twice a week. If I'm doing it, I can't hide it.

• 24:57Speaker 04

  Didn't like, didn't Jamie Lang, will you just fact check this Joe? Didn't Jamie Lang, like, I think, I'm pretty sure he paid for one and told Sven and I about it. And like, said he didn't want anyone to know. So he paid for it. And then he ended up like harping on about it to everybody. So he was offered a free one and he was like, no, I'd rather pay and keep it private. And then he ended up just talking about it anyway.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  I'd say post op then you're, I'd say you're so thrilled with the result that you, you are going to speak about it. But I think you wouldn't want to be doing it like minute by minute as in, do you know the way? Because it's one of those things that a lot of companies reach out. Cause since I spoke about it in the pod, there was companies that reached out because it is something that makes sense for them to have documented, like the journey of it.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  But that is a bit invasive. But, um, but I, so you see my hairline there, it's kind of become, I won't say my obsession. It's not an obsession. It's not, I'm not that shallow. But, I'm sorry, my phone. Um, it does bother me. So I don't know. He was like, look, you're a great candidate for it. So you'll see. I would just get like literally like a couple, I'd just get like a meter there.

• 26:01Speaker 04

  Meter.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  Sure. Four, where's your mom's forehead gone? Is that a fringe or what is that?

• 26:09Speaker 03

  Just get a meter there.

• 26:10Speaker 04

  I'd go right to the brows. If you're going to do it, go right down to the brows for sure. And he could like, pop the brows in with the hair.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. All the donor hair, all the way down to the brows.

• 26:21Speaker 04

  I remember in school, a girl got diagnosed with diabetes and I was like, I have never wanted something more. And like, it's a really, really tough thing to live with. But at the time, obviously I didn't know it. I just saw her getting loads of attention and having those Dexter energy suits. And I was like, I want in on that.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  We're such thirsty, we're so thirsty as children in particular for, we just love attention. So anything that's kind of a point of difference.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  Speaking of thirsty bastards.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  Channing Tatum and his burner.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  I, I, okay.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  So Channing Tatum is supposed to have a burner account on Instagram. And a burner account is basically an account that you use to kind of troll other people and like you hide behind it. You don't use your real name and you use it to do things that you wouldn't want people knowing that you're doing. And people have come to the conclusion that Channing Tatum has a burner account, but this burner account only follows Channing Tatum. And I think that, like, when it first came out, I was like, there's no way he's been stung. Like, it'd be too hard to try and catch somebody if they had a burner account. And he's not going to follow himself, only himself.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  Channing Tatum has a burner account. By the way, I have one too. It's called Vogue Williams, just brazenly. Vogue Williams one.

• 27:39Speaker 05

  For the avoidance of legal doubt, Channing Tatum denies that this is his burner account. No, it's not allegedly. He denies it. He doesn't allegedly deny it. He.

• 27:51Speaker 03

  He allegedly denies it, but allegedly it's real.

• 27:53Speaker 05

  It fully, no, he says.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  I know. I believe him.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  Of course he's gonna, of course he's gonna deny it. He, so you, I will fact check you there Vogue. He follows the account. Now, please don't piss on my cornflakes because I just love, I live for this shit. I don't want to be, I don't want to hear anything apart from complete agreeance.

• 28:14Speaker 04

  I'm, I just can't though.

• 28:17Speaker 03

  We've known, celebrities obviously have burner accounts. I mean, I have a public account and a burner account. So I can go in and have a little look see around to see things that I wouldn't necessarily want people to know that I'm looking at. Do you know what I mean? I don't use it to comment or anything like that. But like, you know, my mother has a burner account for God's sake.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  I used to use my mom's account to look at people.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  I mean, that's not, that's discreet really Vogue.

• 28:41Speaker 04

  No, I realised that. So then I stopped doing it because it wasn't discreet at all actually. And people that I'd be watching their stories gleefully being like, ha, ha, ha. And then it'd be like, oh wait, hang on a second. They're going to be like, why is Vogue's mom looking at my stories?

• 28:54Speaker 03

  Well, Channing Tatum has a burner account called None Ya Business.

• 28:58Speaker 05

  He denies that he has it legally speaking. He denies.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, because he's been stung.

• 29:03Speaker 05

  No.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  No surveillance operation has ever been this badly managed by a celebrity, in my personal opinion.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  Well.

• 29:10Speaker 03

  He's whistleblown himself. He's his own whistleblower.

• 29:13Speaker 04

  There's a post that he commented on about, um, Zoe and Harry on that Des Moines, um, page. And it said, just here for the hate with popcorn. I know he's probably raging that he broke up with his girlfriend and she went out with Harry Styles because there is nothing worse, I think. There's no one else, like, there's no one I'd hate less as a man that my girlfriend would go out with Harry Styles. You'd be like, God, anyone but him. But I just, I just, I can't believe he would be that stupid.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  I'm not being bad, but it's, it's Magic Mike. Like, I'm not being, I'm sorry, I'm not being bad, but like, it's, it's, it's Magic Mike. No offence, Channing. I'm sure you have, you know, a, a normal level of intelligence. But this is real. This, like, if this was a woman now, there would be no Redstone's back. There would be no, there'd be no evidence. Do you know what I mean? The, the thing would be wiped clean. There'd be no fingerprints on the burner. Like, it'd be done and dusted. It'd be high end security. But lads are, when it comes to surveillance of your ex, take a shit. I mean, bearing in mind, lest we remember, remember the guy who got stung with a makeup brush in his car? And he said it was because his

• 30:23Speaker 03

  car was broken into when the police came and you had to try and get fingerprints. This is what we're dealing with.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  This account, None of Your Business, has exclusively shaded Zoe Croft, who's his ex, his ex-wife, whose name I can't remember, well, he's also called J Lo pathetic and also bigged him up.

• 30:42Speaker 04

  Jenna Dewan.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  Yes, some people think it might be his mother, if it's not him. It just goes to show money, success, abs cannot buy emotional maturity and I am here for it. I have, I've never been more moved by a celebrity story. I just think this is the equivalent of one of them saying they know how much a pint of milk is. They're just so relatable. This is just so relatable.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  I just feel that there is like-

• 31:06Speaker 03

  He's now unfollowed the account.

• 31:07Speaker 04

  There's no bigger shame than being caught having a burner account, especially one where you're abusing people. It was like when all that stuff came out about Tattle and everyone kind of shat their pants because they've been on Tattle abusing everyone for years and they thought that they'd get caught.

• 31:21Speaker 03

  Ah, yeah.

• 31:22Speaker 04

  Because there's, there's literally no bigger shame than that. But I think that some celebs do have burner accounts, like Jennifer Lawrence came out and said that she has a burner account and she just likes to go onto TikTok and start fights with people. I mean, if that's what you want to do in your free time, but like, I just can't imagine Channing Tatum was going on and like trying to slag off his ex-wife.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Vogue, are you saying that in your spare time, you wouldn't enjoy going online anonymously and picking fights with people? Because that is not the Vogue I know, if you're going to deny that publicly.

• 31:48Speaker 04

  I never, ever in my-

• 31:51Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 31:52Speaker 04

  I, I genuinely think that if I was gonna slag someone off online, I'd just slag them off as myself because I find the shade behind, like, it's so cowardly to hide behind. If you're gonna do it, just do it. Do it right. Like slag me to my face with your actual account or just don't bother.

• 32:08Speaker 03

  No, I'll go through my Finsta, please, but, but there is, there is an other kind of conspiracy or there is another suggested story, which obviously I don't want to engage with, that it was originally a Channing Tatum fan account that he followed, because he does engage with fan accounts. He does, he's engaged with like Zoe's fan account and his ex's fan account. And that then they kind of rebranded the page and they didn't delete him as a follower because, you know, he's a juicy follower and that he's been kind of stung off the back of it because there was a tweet, or there was a post they made a while ago saying they're a Gemini and he's not a Gemini, blah, blah, blah. But like, that's what, that's, that's what a celebrity troll would say. I'm desperate to think it's real. So, my own reality.

• 32:52Speaker 04

  What was that account in Ireland? Remember that one went around and it was basically calling loads of people out for stuff. What was it called?

• 32:58Speaker 03

  Blogger Unveiled.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  Yes, Blogger Unveiled. That was like the, that was like, it was like the Gossip Girl era of our time, where there was a, there was an account called Bloggers Unveiled and it was like literally just finding out all these information of different bloggers and, and outing them basically. God, that was thrilling for the moment that happened.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  But when you see yourself getting slagged off relentlessly, like, it would turn you into a lunatic. Do you remember your one, and we've spoken about her loads, but like, hey ho, that's the nature of it. Your one, she was a mother and she ended up slagging off all her mates and stuff on Tattle because she was trying to-

• 33:37Speaker 04

  Mothers and daughters or something like that.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  She was trying to defend herself, so she ended up kind of going too dark down the hole and she was like, to make this look legit, I have to slag off everyone I love. And she ended up calling her husband like, you bastard. Like she really fell down the hole. I can see how it would happen. I can see it. The internet sends you a loony. Like, someone was saying, I think Harry Styles' mother has a Finsta and she goes around kind of defending him on threads and stuff. I have no doubt, Pat, my mother is engaged in warfare on some sort of thread somewhere defending me. I have no doubt in my mind. We just don't talk about it because it's like, we, it's, there's no point bringing it into the light because we don't want to acknowledge it. But I have no doubt she is.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  I, my mom and Gina, like they, because they are avid Daily Mail readers and they get really upset about the comments that they read about me. They're like, I nearly posted something myself. I'm like, please don't engage-

• 34:31Speaker 03

  I know.

• 34:32Speaker 04

  -in any of that. Because I genuinely think, and if you are one of those people, like, I, I just think if you're commenting on the Daily Mail, it's like, uh-oh. And it's, they're obviously not people that I'd be hanging around with. So those kind of comments just don't even touch the sides of me. And that's what I try and say to my mom. I'm like, Mom, if any of them say anything nice about me, that's when you should start getting worried. Like, leave them to it.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  I will say, I agree. There's, there's slagging people off online. There's kind of throwing out shady comments, but the Daily Mail, I mean, it's a real low. Like, if you're engaging in the Daily, if you're writing Daily Mail comments-

• 35:10Speaker 04

  You need to like up your game a bit, come on.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Just don't check for Joanna McNulty3.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  Create a Finsta.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  Did you see the kind of open letter digital post that Chloe Ormond made, who is Brian Ormond's daughter and Pippa O'Connor's stepdaughter this week?

• 35:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. So Brian, Brian Ormond and Pippa O'Connor, Pippa owns a lovely makeup brand. I've known her quite a long time. I don't know her well, to be honest, but I used to work with her back in the day. And they're kind of like, for the, for the Brits listening or anyone from outside of Ireland, they're kind of like, they're, they're well-known people in Ireland. And they're, Pippa's stepdaughter and Brian's daughter-

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:02Speaker 04

  -came out with a very, very, very big statement, basically saying that she wasn't part of the family.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  So I'm saying this, and we're, we're discussing this very tentatively because like it's, would they throw more flame, fuel on the fire? But I feel, so the daughter's come out and basically said like, I was never made feel welcome in the house and you are, she, Pippa's presenting this kind of very, um-

• 36:26Speaker 04

  Curated.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  -pulsey, mumsy vibe online. And the daughter's basically coming out saying like, I never felt that way and I'm sick of, I was never given kindness and all this stuff. I don't, and I, like, I'm being very careful here because I don't want to say anything mad because we don't know the full details yet. But there's a part of me that is like, and not, really? Do we need to air this stuff?

• 36:48Speaker 04

  No.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  Do we need to air this private stuff?

• 36:51Speaker 04

  I kind of feel the exact same. I just don't know what the point of airing. She's come out with another couple of statements. My friend sent it to me last night because if anything happens in Ireland, everyone sends it to everyone. But like, she's come out now and said another thing last night as to why she posted it online and, but I just think, it's the same when, when Brooklyn Beckham did it. I just felt like, no. Like you cannot-

• 37:14Speaker 03

  That's what I mean.

• 37:15Speaker 04

  Like, it's your family at the end of the day. You cannot do that. Your family, just do it at home.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  I don't think there'll be the first stepdaughter, stepmother in the world to have a kind of a tense relationship. I think that's kind of almost like a trope at this point, that it's always a kind of a tricky dynamic. And your family, it's like Ed Sheeran's cousin, did you see him? Came out, Ed's been put through the wringer at the, at the moment. And his cousin came out and was like, I told you he was a dick. I thought he was a dick our whole lives, he's a dickhead. I was like, wow, wow, wow. It's gonna make Christmas difficult.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  I mean, my-

• 37:53Speaker 03

  Fucking hell.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 37:55Speaker 03

  I think Ed has made some questionable choices of late, for sure. I don't think he's like, you know, been the best version of himself or made the smartest, soundest decisions. But your cousin coming out, annihilating you online.

• 38:08Speaker 04

  Ah, your cousin's far enough away they can fuck with you.

• 38:11Speaker 03

  Can a family not internally fall apart and have lots of family trauma without everyone knowing about it?

• 38:19Speaker 04

  Please.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  This is like normal family shit.

• 38:22Speaker 04

  Yeah. Can we just all start, please, can we just start bitching about each other behind our backs? Please, preferably. And can we-

• 38:29Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 38:30Speaker 04

  -scrap with your family behind closed doors? And then tell everyone about it. But you can't come out there. You have to just, it takes longer, but you just gotta spread it around yourself.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's called manners. Like, if anything, you know, set up a fake Instagram account, slag your family off on Tattle if they're in the public eye. But like, you don't, I just think going, taking it all to a public Insta story, I, I just don't know. I think we're, I think we're a bit tired of it from the Beckham thing. And unless there's serious abuse happening, and then that's a different thing. But, I don't know. I'm, I'm like, she's, well, she's entitled to feel how she feels. I'm not saying that. But going public with her like that, I'm just like, I don't know. I'm like, really?

• 39:12Speaker 04

  But Pippa hasn't said anything about it and I don't think, I don't think that she will. I mean, what are you gonna say?

• 39:17Speaker 03

  What's the point?

• 39:24Speaker 03

  Did you see, and this is a really sad news story, but just kind of a mad story. Did you see the man who killed someone over a sunbed, but it was an 82 year old man? He got in a scrap with a man in his seventies over a sun lounger on a beach in Greece. And they basically were fighting over who owned the sunbed. And the man in his seventies ended up killing the man who's 82. So now your man who's about to live out his last final years in his seventies, I mean, he probably has 15, 20 years left, is now going to end up in prison. And this other 82 year old man is dead and it's over. Like the sunbed wars that are going on, I don't, like you see people sleeping on them overnight

• 40:07Speaker 03

  so that they can save the best sunbeds for the next day. So when they're in a hotel, they're all waiting and throwing their towels on them, but they're not allowed to do that anymore. Can we not just get more sunbeds? Like, why don't have hotels have enough sunbeds? This is why men need therapy. Because without going full wax on, wax off, my gut says this isn't to do with the sunbed per se. The call is coming from inside the house. These men are very frustrated. They have anger issues. They have severe tempers and it turns into some sort of masculine sunbed off. Yeah. And now one of them's going to prison to do hard time. He's going to be eating grill for the last couple of years, which probably suits him because he's probably got no teeth. He's in his seventies.

• 40:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. The stories that I've read about people trying to keep their sun loungers is, to be honest, like hotels need to cop the fuck on. It's like overbooking flights. If I paid a couple of grand for a holiday and then was in a situation where I had to go full Bear Grylls, like Squid Game in the morning to get a seat, or I'm lounging on the grass, it's a disgrace. And look, I know first world problems, but like, we only know our own problems. That's all we can talk about. It's ridiculous. They need to do, every hotel room needs to get a sun lounger when you arrive to the hotel. Yeah. This is your sun lounger, Joe, Attywell, you are 56, Vogue Williams, you are 73. That's your sun lounger for the four days you're here or whatever you're here.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  That's the end of it. The fact that you need some sort of security team now walking around sun lounging areas to try and keep the peace is ridiculous. I'm expecting armed guards at this point.

• 41:49Speaker 04

  I feel like maybe people are just taking more sunbeds than they're allowed to take and maybe letting their like young kids sit in a sun lounger. You know, when you're like, when you get in a bus at the airport or something and you see all these little kids just sitting on the, on the seats on the bus and there's all these really old people who are like trying not to fall over and die as the bus like carries around the airport. And these little kids are like, there's a limit. Kids, like three year olds shouldn't get their own sunbeds if everyone's scrapping over sunbeds.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  Who would have thought doing UV sunbeds would be better for you than actually trying to get a sun lounger beside a pool?

• 42:26Speaker 04

  It's actually less dangerous, you're right.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Have you seen the videos of them? Have you seen those apocalyptic clips of people running? It's like they've been let out of a, like a kind of a fritzle basement and they're running for freedom and they're running across, jumping across, trying to get the sun loungers. Like, I mean, I don't know what the solution is. It seems so utterly bizarre. It'd be like, it'd be like paying thousands of quid for a cruise ship and then you've no dingy seat bed. It's very Titanic coded, I would say.

• 42:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I agree.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  It's like Lord of the Flies vibes and it's literally just an all inclusive and fucking tango rolla. And now it's like an Olympic sport. Like you're up training in the morning to see, can you get down and get your sun lounger? And then do you remember the sun lounger vigilante woman who ended up on this morning? Because she literally did one TikTok where she took a towel off a bed and everyone was like, yes.

• 43:18Speaker 04

  I've seen some sunbed fights on TikTok and I'm like, Jesus Christ, like going mental over sunbeds. You know, you can get, you can get a pop up sunbed in the shop and it would cost you about nine euro. Bring your own to the pool, I say.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  I'm so, sorry, I'm so shocked because we never, we never finish stories with solutions. I didn't, this is mind blowing. Did you know that?

• 43:41Speaker 05

  That's actual consumer advice. That's, that's actually, that's real.

• 43:44Speaker 04

  Well, only because Auntie Gina has a special, we rent sunbeds on the beach, but then she brings her own seat that she likes to sit down at the shore sometimes if the mood may take her. Cause she doesn't like swimming in the sea, so she'll sit in the, get her little bum wet and that's about it.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  Sun lounger wars bring out the worst in us. It's like, it's like a soup kitchen. It's like, it's like there's a serious shortage of something that's like massively important for the human condition and human survival. And it sends people crazy.

• 44:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, I'm glad to say I've never had a fight over one. Thank God.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Anyway, God rest his soul. Hope he went out with a tan and no tan lines. That's what I, and I hope that guy who killed him gets tan lines. That's what I hope for him as revenge.

• 44:27Speaker 04

  I'd say he's got worse coming his way. Everyone, thank you so much for listening.

• 44:35Speaker 03

  Ah, look at the baby.

• 44:38Speaker 04

  Baby on the pod. He loves pouting. He's like his Auntie Joanne.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  Are you mad about him?

• 44:45Speaker 04

  Mad about him? I don't know how I'll ever leave him behind. Just have my little, come in my little pocket everywhere. I love bringing him everywhere. He comes everywhere.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  This has been a global production.

• 45:03Speaker 00

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• 45:18Speaker 01

  Finger sticks are required if your glucose alarms or readings do not match symptoms or when you see check blood glucose symbol for the first 12 hours. The views expressed should not be used for medical diagnosis or treatment as a substitute for professional medical advice. Individual circumstances may vary. For prescription only. Safety info found at freestylelibre.us.