It's been a REAL journey

Joanne has done it!! She's finally moved into a house of her very own, but at what cost? She's been forced to reckon with how many clothes she owns, but Vogue is on hand to reframe this as a positive. There's definitely work to do. Plus, a Katie Price update and Vogue's obsession with post-mortem embalming. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] mailto:[email protected] You can now watch FULL video episodes of My Therapist Ghosted Me! Visit www.youtube.com/@mtgmpod http://www.youtube.com/@mtgmpod and remember to subscribe! Please review Global's Privacy Policy:https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit:https://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/www.mytherapistghostedme.com http://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/

• 0:02Speaker 00

  Noel Gallagher's gone out with a 28-year-old now and his daughter's 26.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Then, of course, I started spiralling. I was like, oh my god, all I have to show for myself is clothes. And then I had to have a therapy session and then yesterday I was in the garden doing some inner child work. It's been a real journey.

• 0:20Speaker 00

  Is this just not like Katie Price has been ghosted, like it's happened to all of us? And she just, this might be her first ghosting and she's like, oh my god, he's been kidnapped. But it's like, no, this is called ghosting.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  Ah, nothing like a bit of girl on girl to send you off to the afterlife, huh?

• 0:35Speaker 00

  Oh, god.

• 0:41Speaker 01

  Hello, welcome to my therapist ghosted me with myself, Joanne McNally and herself, Vogue Williams. We can't, we can't move on with our lives. We can't move on with the podcast or our lives until we do a teeny tiny update on the biggest news story to hit since Wagner Christie, which is the missing husband of Katie Price, Leandro's.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  Wow, wow, wow. Leandro's since we last spoke. Vogue, are you following this story? I'm, I'm kind of, it's so wild. I'm actually struggling to follow it. Yeah, it's everywhere.

• 1:18Speaker 00

  And I think that he is, I'd say that he is absolutely thrilled with the amount of press coverage he's getting because you could work for TV and you could work in TV for 20 years in the UK and not as many people would know you as many people know Leandro's now because he has supposedly been kidnapped.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  Well, as an, as an ex-publicist, I will say there is a saying, as we know, well, there's a couple. One of them is it's PR, not EOR, which is always helpful to remember. That's ah for our UK listeners. Also, all press is good press. Ah, I will say even myself.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  Who's oppressed, I love a bit of press. I don't agree, I don't think that saying works here. I think this man's reputation, legacy and life will be borderline destroyed whenever he decides to come out of hiding. If he isn't hiding and also grand for him because he's caused a lot of damage, a lot of damage. There's a lot of broken women in his past, a lot of women he's ripped off. But anyway, so he's gone missing as we know.

• 2:24Speaker 00

  So can I just, can I just cut in there, let me just cut in there slightly, sorry. And not to be a bitch, you always say that when you're about to be a bitch. I don't, I don't think he had, I don't think his reputation was like that stellar. That what he's doing now is kind of damaging it, you know what I mean? So I think that he was kind of at a level where it doesn't, it's, it's okay, it's okay. It's not going to change much, I would say about his life.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  You're right, what I, well, I, oh, no, I would say, I'd say this will change his life. Because ultimately he's been outed. So he was living as a private con man who was still in a position to con women. AKA Katie Price, who married him within a week. And so he, so this now, there's no hiding now. This is like, this is, this is nuclear. This is, you are a, you are a global toxic man. Allegedly.

• 3:17Speaker 00

  I just, I don't even think they're married anymore. I'm like.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Her and Olivia, that, that would did a funny TikTok the other day about they were like looking for their husbands. Um, my, so we obviously know she gave up the search after five days.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  She then, he didn't, she, he didn't contact her on her birthday. So she was very upset about that.

• 3:38Speaker 00

  But he followed, he followed another woman.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  He followed another woman who has since come out and been like, she's now made a statement being like, I don't know who this lad is. We never even messaged and I've blocked him. So I'd say what he was doing was he was doing a creep. Do you know when you accidentally like something or he accidentally followed someone? He was doing a bit of a creep. Or Katie, who says she has access to his Insta or access to his social media, his Facebook was also doing a creep. In other news, I was going to say, if you have to have access to your husband's socials after two weeks of knowing him. Hmm, not, not great, not great. I'd usually gift that a month. Anyway.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  He didn't contact Katie for her birthday. Katie then released a single, a single with a collage of photos about him and about how much she missed him on her birthday. Now, I will say, usually the birthday trumps everything. Birthdays and Christmases, people come out of the woodwork and they're like, oh, happy birthday. It's an excuse to contact. So he's not even doing that. I mean, it's all very embarrassing and humiliating.

• 4:38Speaker 00

  I know, but is this just not like Katie Price has been ghosted? Like it's happened to all of us and she does, this might be her first ghosting and she's like, oh my God, he's been kidnapped. But it's like, no, this is called ghosting. It's not actually been kidnapped.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Dubai have asked her, the police have asked her to come out and do like a national appeal on the TV to find him and stuff. His father has come back to say he's actually in prison. Katie's come out to say that's fake news. The drama rolls on. The drama rolls on.

• 5:07Speaker 00

  I would tend to maybe believe the dad. And let's be honest, Dubai needs some, like Dubai are thrilled about this level of press they're getting because it hasn't been great the last year. So this might bring people back into the country.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Sure, yeah. Leandro is the face of Dubai. Sure, yeah. I do think though, I mean, I'm very pro Katie, as you know, but when the single was released, I did think, ha, ha.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  I, what I will.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Maybe she knows something we don't know. I don't know.

• 5:38Speaker 00

  What I will say about Katie Price is last week I was like, God, wall of shit. I'm so sick of this. But when she released the CBD oil and then she released the single, I thought, you know what? Fair fucking play to you.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  She's a businesswoman.

• 5:53Speaker 00

  Fair play to you.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. Now, people are like, let's get this to number one. Like it's, you know, it's like this, this feels, oh, okay. And taking the piss with Olivia Atwood, I was like, I think she's, I think she knows what's up. I don't think she thinks he's, I don't think she'll be doing the appeal on national TV in Dubai, is what I would say. Because I mean, that's going to escalate it to a whole new level. Uh, yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 00

  I say do the appeal. Do the appeal. Lee, don't come out yet. Stay where you are.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  I don't know. I mean, the man, the man must have had a face transplant at this stage. Like, every hon in Dubai would be looking for him. I don't understand how he hasn't been spotted at this point. Like, it's crazy. Tell me, before I launch into my, um, house news, is there any urgent news from Centre Parks? You just enjoying mothering and having your kids around?

• 6:44Speaker 00

  It's just not normal how much I like, honestly, I've started, I was like, do you know what? This is where I'm coming for Christmas. I've decided, you know, when I just get like, I just, I can't get enough the place. I can't, I wanna buy shares.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  I'm not, oh, God. Here we go.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Which means I'll end up trying to buy shares because I don't know what I'm doing and I just copy everything you're doing.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  So we're buying shares in Centre Parks.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  I'm putting a tenner into Centre Parks, Jo, write that down now. Tenner, Centre Parks.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  What's that thing called when you buy, we've bought the, what's it called? When you can buy a bit of McDonald's, you can buy a bit of Burger King, what's it called? The franchise. We bought, we bought a franchise to Centre Parks.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  No, Centre Perks.

• 7:28Speaker 00

  Centre Perks. Do you want, there's a spa here for you.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Centre Perks, nothing to do with the original Centre Parks, if anyone's listening for legal reasons. I, you buy, you buy like the, the, the centre and I'll invest in the perks. So I'll put the money into the bar for the kids and the, um, any kind of inflatable pool noodles. I'll buy that, but I do want 50% when you sell it. Is that fair?

• 7:54Speaker 00

  Okay, yeah, well, do you know what?

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Do they have the Styrofoam floater?

• 7:58Speaker 00

  Do they have Styrofoam floaters? Wait till you see what they've just updated the lake with.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  I can't, I can't wait. You know I love a lake.

• 8:09Speaker 00

  There, there is both, and on Wednesday, between Wednesday to Fri- it's Friday, they have an inflatable like thing that you go on, like gladiators kind of vibe. In the middle of the lake, listen, Wednesday can't come quick enough. I know it's tomorrow, but I wish it was today.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Did you whip out your skills? Did they give you a ladder? Did the, did the internet kick off?

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Did you, did you cheat? Did you?

• 8:33Speaker 00

  Yes, I wore a full scuba suit on that. That's how I planned my cheating around that.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 8:37Speaker 00

  Um, but I looked into Centre Parks because I just, I, I like, I, when I see a business like this, I'm so, like, I'm so nosy about how it runs and like how much money they might earn. The profit this place makes is out really. Like you have never, honestly. I, and they're building more lodges. I'm like, I'm sure you're building more bloody lodges. It's just, but it's, it's such a good product is what it is.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  I do feel, I do feel at this stage, your love of Centre Parks, and by the way, this is not a sponsored read. I mean, how they haven't actually offered to run ads on this pod. Yeah.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  As much as this sounds like an advert, the advert's out there.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  It's really not. She's just genuinely mad about Centre Parks. I think you should somehow be involved with them in a professional way. You love them.

• 9:30Speaker 00

  The problem is they're, they're making too much money on their own. They don't need people like me. They don't even want investment anymore. They're like, no, thanks. It's like, it's like me trying to invest in, in, into Apple from, from the prices of 20 years ago. They'd be like, no, yeah, we're actually all right. Thank you.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I understand. Actually, I actually completely understand. You're like, does Meta need, do they need to chip in at any point? You're like, no, we're actually fine.

• 9:52Speaker 00

  Hello, Mr. Bezos. Remember when you started Amazon from your garage? I'd like to invest at that stage, please.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd like my little time travel machine, go back and invest then. It'd be like me trying to invest in like Ibiza.

• 10:06Speaker 00

  Oh, to buy a property there before it blew up?

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Well, the island, but yes, we'll say property. I was thinking if you were to really go back to basics. When Ibiza kind of started kicking off, I was like, you know what? I'll buy it, chip in, run it. Like James Blunt. He did that. He basically owns Ibiza now, our new pal.

• 10:24Speaker 00

  Hang on. Oh my God, yeah, he was on the traders. Oh God, guys, we've got a snippet, but I already knew that. Amber's, Amber's down here with me. She's like.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 00

  Amber's in here, she's like.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  Public info.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  Amber's like, she must have told you something. What did she tell you? I was like, Amber, Joanne is a bitch. I didn't realise. She hasn't told me a morsel. But you know what? I'll be happy about that in October, but I'm gonna hold a grudge. Until then, I hope you understand.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  I'm in my discretion era. I mean, I'm the most surprised of anyone. And FYI, I got a message from the TV people, the execs.

• 10:59Speaker 00

  So well done.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  To thank me and to congratulate me on not saying anything. And I was like, thank you so much. Thank you so much.

• 11:06Speaker 00

  You sent that a little bit early, my friends. I haven't been out drinking with her yet.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  If there was a prize for discretion, I would nominate myself and then tell everyone.

• 11:17Speaker 00

  I would not nominate. I'd nominate you as quickly as I'd nominate our friend, James O'Neill, who doesn't physically have a large mouth, but by God, that man can gossip.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Some people run their mouths, they run their mouths, yeah. I used to be a bit of a mouth runner, but I'm a kind of a changed person now. I was never a mouth runner with serious stuff. It was more just, you know, I loved a bit of intel, a bit of gossip, but I'm more discreet now. As you get older, you realise, hmm, what's for you, I'll pass you by.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  My God, she's so philosophical today.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  What do Rihanna's new tattoo, Katie Price's missing husband and Madonna on Grindr all have in common?

• 11:57Speaker 00

  We're talking about them on Shouldn't Laugh But with me, Laura Smith.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  And me, Carmen Butcher.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  This week, we're getting into Rihanna's latest tattoo, inspired by her kids' artwork.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  We're also diving into internet sleuthing around Katie Price's latest relationship drama.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  Plus, we'll get into Madonna popping up on Grindr and why some people found it iconic, while others were absolutely mortified.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  Expect strong opinions, chaotic stories and probably a few things that we shouldn't laugh at.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  But obviously we will anyway.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Listen and watch Shouldn't Laugh But on Global Player YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 12:31Speaker 00

  So I have taken my brother's two kids to Central Parks as well because I said to myself, I said, you're gonna have four kids soon.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  My god, you what is what?

• 12:40Speaker 00

  How will it feel to have five? Now, my niece is like, she is, she, I mean, she's raising herself. She's raising my kids too over here. So she, and she's only, she's only 10. I called her nine yesterday, which was not a good move. She's 10 and she just, she just looks after everyone. She's an absolute dreamboat. I could handle, if the child came out at 10 years old, I don't even think I'd notice. I actually think it would be a fantastic help around the house.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  So I'm gonna leave it in there now.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Cook it as far as you can. I would like to give birth to an 18 year old daughter. So we can immediately just hit the bars. Isn't it, isn't it gas away when you're a child, you're desperate to be older? And when I was, I was out for lunch with my friend Susan the other day and the waiter, I don't know how it came up. I don't know, did he ask? I think I was talking about myself, of course it was. And I went, I'm a 42 year old woman and she's like, eh, you're 43. And I was like, oh yeah. I accidentally deducted a year off myself, but no, no corrections corner.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  Spencer ages me up. A suit like on my birthday of like, let's say this year I'm 41. On the second of October, the day I turned 41, Spenny will be like to me, but you're now in your 42nd year. So you're 42. I'm like, that's not how it works, Spencer.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  It's pathetic.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  This is not how maths works and you're actually being cruel.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Why are we so scared of aging, Jo, huh?

• 13:51Speaker 00

  It's because we're going to die.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  Aging is a privilege.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  Aging is.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Everyone gets to do it.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Aging is a privilege and especially our generation with the fish sperm and the botox. It's a proper privilege.

• 14:01Speaker 00

  Do you know who I was looking at the other day? Remember that saint, the young boy who died when he was like 16 and he's been turned into a saint over beside Saint Francis of Assisi? He died 20 years ago and he looks perfect. Like, is that not mad?

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Well, hold on a second. But they've obviously embalmed him.

• 14:21Speaker 00

  I know, but like the embalming can't be that, everyone goes a bit Haggerty with embalming. He can't look just like a normal, he looks like an asleep human. Like he just looks normal.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  I'd say the Vatican, I mean, they have a bit of cash behind them. I'd say they've got a high end bomber, you know? Look at Tutankhamun. He's fresh as fuck.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  I think, I don't know if Tut- Tutankhamun was.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Well, okay, not fresh as fuck. Okay, no, he mightn't be fresh as fuck now. You wouldn't be, you wouldn't be bringing him out into the town. But I'm saying the embalming, I mean, it can really go a long way. I, I, I look forward to getting it done myself.

• 14:58Speaker 00

  Do you know how I, I, we should, we should start now. They look so good that I think that we're doing the wrong stuff for ourselves. We should just start embalming ourselves.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  I know. Once we die, that's when we're gonna really excel physically. But the, I would say, because the whole thing about being a saint, isn't it, that you don't go off? Isn't that kind of it? Yeah, but I'd, I'd say they're trying to trick us then. Like, it's like, look, I told you he's a saint, he hasn't gone off yet, but actually, I think they're embalming on the sly, probably regularly. I mean, you know what the bad thing is? Like, I wouldn't trust them as far as I could fucking throw them.

• 15:32Speaker 00

  I know, but the only thing I'll say about that, Joseph Stalin also looks kind of okay. And I don't think he was in the same level of sainthood as the saint.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  I do think as well, when they put people on display, they do, Joe, will you Google there, why does Joseph Stalin look so good, Dad?

• 15:50Speaker 02

  He, exactly that, yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Let's get into, let's do what we do best, which is investigative serious journalism.

• 15:57Speaker 00

  We're investigating the stuff that you'd never even think of asking, but then you're like, actually, I want to know the answer to that.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  Exactly. Now, maybe, maybe Joseph was a, Joseph Stalin was a, was a client of Katrina Ryan, our dermatologist. If that's the case, it explains everything.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Or Ewan, our Botox man.

• 16:14Speaker 00

  I, I'm going in to see Katrina on Thursday. I'm actually gonna ask for a touch, I'll have a, I can't have botox. I know I can't have botox. Can I have a bit of embalming?

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:22Speaker 00

  That's what I got. A bit of embalming.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  According to Wikipedia, Stalin's embalmed body maintained its lifelike appearance because it was preserved using the Soviet Union's highly-guarded, extreme embalming technique.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  There you go. I mean, I mean, I mean, they can hardly claim him as a saint. He was a right prick.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Microinjections, chemical baths, frequent restoration of the decaying flesh.

• 16:43Speaker 00

  Oh, God.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  There you go. Now, I'll start saving up for that. I'd say that's quite pricey, isn't it, Joe? Do they have a cost on that?

• 16:51Speaker 02

  On the microinjections, yeah, we can have a look.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  Ask Google there, Joe. How much does it cost to get embalmed?

• 16:56Speaker 00

  We'll be skeletons within the year.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  I have a mortgage now, so I might have to do it on Klarna.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  Oh, it can be incredibly cheap.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  Go on, how much?

• 17:03Speaker 02

  Prices start from a hundred pounds.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  What?

• 17:08Speaker 02

  That's for your, that's for your basic embalming.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  A hundred quid, you're lasting the wake, do you know what I mean? Like, if you're gonna, you're, you're barely getting through the wake.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, where, I mean, you wouldn't get embalmed for, you wouldn't even get your hair and makeup done dead for a hundred quid in Ireland.

• 17:22Speaker 00

  I, now, I don't know, I think someone must have spent a hundred quid on my dad because when he was embalmed, by day three, his nose was looking a bit funny.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  I, I don't think he was embalmed, though. I don't think they embalm, like, randomers. I think you've to, I mean.

• 17:37Speaker 00

  Everybody gets embalmed. All bodies are embalmed.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  No, they don't. They get vacuumed out of all their blood and organs. They get stuffed.

• 17:45Speaker 00

  And then they get embalmed.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Joe, can you please Google there, do all, do all bodies get embalmed? Because they don't. Otherwise, we'd be, they wouldn't.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  We're talking about specifically to Ireland here, aren't we?

• 17:54Speaker 00

  Funerals. Do anyone having a funeral, are they getting embalmed?

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Is that right?

• 17:58Speaker 01

  Do regular people automatically get embalmed? There's definitely, I know they get hair and makeup and they, and they, and they use spray paint.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  I know they get hair and makeup, they do.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  They get a glam and go. It's the last glam and go they have. They get a glam and go.

• 18:14Speaker 00

  I thought they embalmed all bodies when people died.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Not a hope. Not a hope. I've, I've been wrong before.

• 18:19Speaker 00

  Don't be scrimping on me. I'm, I wanna be fully embalmed, not the cheap one either.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  It looks like it's not routine. It says it's fairly widespread because of, um, because of viewing the body and stuff. Uh, but there's, there's no, there's no regulation that means.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  There's no, there's no time to embalm anyone in Ireland. We're dead and buried within 12 hours.

• 18:41Speaker 00

  Well, can I just say?

• 18:42Speaker 01

  In the UK, they'd want the embalming because there's quite the queue, because they're running out of land, that's what I heard.

• 18:46Speaker 00

  I would say, though, um, you're, for any body kissers out there, my sister's not here, I've already discussed it with her. Amber always goes in for a smooch of the dead body to pay her respects. And I read that you can get, like, certain. Dead body diseases.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Really?

• 19:05Speaker 00

  I swear you can get stuff off them, yeah, because of like the stuff that they're like radiating out of them. And Amber's just there lingering on top, waiting for her final smooch, like a sicko.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Are you sure that's true?

• 19:18Speaker 00

  She doesn't even know. Yeah, Amber can't see what she doesn't even know that well.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, I like, I like that. I'd like to get a little smooch off Amber. Keep an eye on her hands. Make sure she's behaving herself.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  I'll tie them around her back. I wouldn't trust her. We won't leave her alone with the body, okay?

• 19:35Speaker 01

  No, no. I'd want to be watched overnight by Amber. You wouldn't know what she could up to.

• 19:40Speaker 00

  Why is Joanne's top on back to front? He definitely dressed her.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  Ah, nothing like a bit of girl on girl to send you off to the afterlife, huh?

• 19:58Speaker 01

  My final feel. I need to tell you about my move. I've been quite triggered by the whole thing. I'm, I'm, so basically moved in. Caroline, obviously, all hail the gods that are Caroline. They pack everything up. They dismantle everything. They bring it down to the new house. They rebuild it.

• 20:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  And they're also very sound. And then I hired the people that you recommended to me, Home Reset.

• 20:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, Hazel.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Hazel. And now, again, it's a very bougie thing to do, but I, well, it's not actually, it's actually not. I think it's actually quite reasonably priced, considering what they're doing, which is unpacking and organising everything with military precision. But I am aware, look, it is a, you know, it's a, it's a.

• 20:36Speaker 02

  It's a luxury.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  It's a lo-, it is a bit of a luxury, yeah.

• 20:39Speaker 00

  It is a luxury, yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  It is a luxury, but my God, when I, I just wouldn't be able to do it on my own. I just, like I say, I just don't have.

• 20:46Speaker 00

  That's what I was trying to expect.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Expertise anymore.

• 20:48Speaker 00

  Joanne rang me from traders and I was like, you need somebody to help you unpack. Like you'll be like, you'll, you'll have moved in and there'll be boxes there by the end of next year. I was like, you have to get someone to help you.

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, no, no. They, they came in and my God, they were in, like, it's just, I was, my mind was blown. What I've realised is now I have an embarrassing amount of clothes. I mean, genuinely, like, an embarrassing amount. They, they took them all out. Cause I had vacuum packed them, because obviously I copy everything you do. I had them in suitcases from trips I've never unpacked. I'm surprised I didn't find a body in one of those suitcases. There was stuff.

• 21:23Speaker 00

  I'd say you found amazing stuff though, did you?

• 21:27Speaker 01

  I found amazing stuff. I have one, two, three. So I have, I've bought a two bedroomed house, really, okay. There's, there's another like little kind of room that is, I mean, maybe the nursery for Magaluf one day, I don't know, but it's a very, very small room. It's like for a desk, you know. And I was gonna have the extra room as, as a, as a spare room. Obviously, that's the whole point. I'm an adult now, I'm 43. I need to have a spare. I don't want to invite my mum over and put her on the couch, you know. But there's so many rails of clothes now. There's, one, two, three, six rails of clothes. Six. You know those rails that you buy off Argos or whatever, wherever you buy them?

• 22:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  And you put them up yourself. There are six of them. Jam. One, two, three, four. Maybe, yeah, six. When I say it's embarrassing, and I, I was like, oh my god. And then, of course, I started spiralling. I was like, oh my god, all I have to show for myself is clothes. I have, I've built nothing. I've done nothing. And then I had to have a therapy session. And then, yes, I was in the garden doing some inner child work. It's been a real journey.

• 22:30Speaker 00

  I have six rails of clothes, and that's my clothes, like, narrowed down. Most of my clothes were in storage. So I, I like, and I'm actually, when I walk around, I'm like, I walk around, I'm delighted with the clothes that I've accumulated. Because you think, you have to just reframe how you think about the clothes.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  I, I, I mean, and I hate to, I hate to throw this back into your court, but you also have 3.5 children and a husband. I have nothing. Just clothes.

• 22:56Speaker 00

  You have a house, you have a house.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  I was like, oh my god, my life is empty. My life is empty. I've done nothing. I've done nothing. Then I tried to go unhinged, and I was like, oh my god, I can't, I can't. So anyway, I'm now have, I bought a book called How to Do the Work, and that's what I'm doing, is the work. Yeah. And I've come off Instagram.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  That's good. That's a good start.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, of course, I'm, I'm checking back and forth. I am waiting for a reply off Vanessa Phelps. So I'm in and out of Instagram to wait to hear from Vanessa. But other than that, I am off Instagram, and I'm, I'm, I'm doing the work. What the work is, I don't know. I've just started doing it, and then hopefully it happens, whatever the work is.

• 23:40Speaker 00

  Do you remember the book Let Them Came Out? And someone read me a bit of it and I was like, why is she saying stuff that we all already know? I feel like everyone's been duped into Let Them. This is not, this is not new material.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Melanie Robbins, when she was basically telling everyone to go fuck themselves. And then someone else came out and said she stole that, yeah, she stole the Let Them thing off me and the whole thing was a high drama. No, no, no, this is by a woman called Dr Nicole LaPira. She is a holistic psychologist. Recognise your patterns, heal from your past and create yourself. I'm pouring into myself. If anyone's looking for me, I'll be in the garden, searching for my inner child, pouring into myself. And it won't be Pinot for once. It'll be ceramics and self-care.

• 24:24Speaker 00

  Well, can I just say, you've been on a pretty hefty tour for the last six months. You've moved house, you're in a new home that you've just bought. I think that you might be being a little bit too hard on yourself and not remembering all the good things that you've also done.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Well, do you know what it was as well? Because I'm so used to living on Clapham Common where you wake up and there's all the buses and people are screaming and people are cycling, laughing. And, and you're like, oh, I'm in the world. This house is, I woke up and I was like, oh my God, oh my God, where is everyone?

• 24:52Speaker 00

  You don't hear it.

• 24:53Speaker 01

  You could hear a pin drop if I was the kind of woman who had pins or knew where they were.

• 25:03Speaker 01

  And I was like, oh my God, I'm all alone, I'm alone. When the home reset women were leaving, I was almost gonna, I was willing to pay them for today, for an extra day. I was like, where are you going? They're like, well, we have to go. And I was like, would you come back, would you come back? So anyway, I'm doing the work and I've also joined a pottery course.

• 25:21Speaker 00

  That's nice. I'm doing pottery today. That's one of my favourite activities.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 00

  There's a pottery place around the corner from me and the pottery's pre-made actually, but I would like to go to one where we make the pottery. I'm happy to do that.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, so a ceramics class. I mean, I, I, I, I think I'm gonna move into ceramics.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  I mean, if, if, if you're planning on meeting a man, is this, is this, is this instead of hinge, you're gonna?

• 25:43Speaker 01

  I'm over that.

• 25:44Speaker 00

  That's not, probably not the right place to meet somebody at a ceramics class.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  No, I'm over that. But I, but this is like, remember when you wouldn't play tennis with me because you're quite good and you knew I'd be shit? I feel this is ceramics. This is, I feel like I'm gonna be like some sort of ceramic savant and I don't think you have that in you. So I might have to get another partner.

• 26:00Speaker 00

  Okay. Do you want me to put you onto Naomi Cassidy, my art teacher and auntie? And she'll tell you how good I am. Wait, have you seen the fucking pottery cottage I made when I was in fourth year? Cause it's like exceptional.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  Well, no, weirdly I have not.

• 26:13Speaker 00

  And also.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Competitive she is. You can't, you can't challenge her that you're gonna be better at pottery.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  And also, Joanne, I'm too, I can't run anymore. So I'll play tennis with you now. I'm not good anymore.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Oh, thanks. Thanks.

• 26:29Speaker 00

  I can play now for the next couple of months. I'll play with you.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  I think you'd be better off with one of those tennis machines that just throws them out. What's that? What are they called?

• 26:39Speaker 00

  I would like to take up paddle with you. I have never played paddle. So I would like to take up, as a thing to do together, we should take up paddle. We'll get a little lesson.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  I'd love that. It's ti- it's time to broaden my horizons. I've, I feel I've, I've, I've worked my tits off and I've made my world quite small and I'm, I wanna make my world big again. So I'm open to all and everything.

• 27:02Speaker 00

  Wouldn't it be nice to tell somebody like, oh, what's your hobby? You could actually say something like paddle instead of, oh, well, I enjoy socializing with my friends and I'm like.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'd love to have a hobby other than drinking, I'd love to have a hobby other than drinking wine, buying clothes and trying to get my hairline back. I'm like, surely there's more to life.

• 27:20Speaker 00

  They actually sound like all right hobbies to me though. I think those hobbies sound really like, I'm endeared by you when I hear things like that. I'm like, I'd like her.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  I'm shocked. I'm confronted, when they unpacked all the clothes, I'm confronted with my own basicness. It was jarring. And yeah, I'm changing it up.

• 27:41Speaker 00

  I just don't care.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Paddle, ceramics, charity work, food bank, I don't know, I'm changing it up.

• 27:47Speaker 00

  I'll jump in, I'll jump in on the paddle. I might pop in for a ceramic or two, but I really want to get involved in paddle. Also, by the way, I went bowling last night and usually it's the one sport that I'll say, listen, I'm shit at bowling, I'm not good at bowling. I don't know what's happened. Maybe it's the pregnancy, maybe it's the way the balance of I am now, but I was fucking brilliant last night. Everyone was shocked. Strike, strike, strike, strike, strike, coming out my ears.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  Really?

• 28:16Speaker 00

  And I am so bad at bowling usually. I can only put it down to having a bump and the weight distribution being different. Cause I am not good at it.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  You do have a qualification in construction and I'm assuming bowling is very, you know, you kind of have to work out what, what's going to fall where in the weight of things, no?

• 28:34Speaker 00

  I wouldn't say bowling is similar to construction at all, but I like where you were going with that. I like where you were going with it. I was, I have something to ask and I'm not being judgmental. It's just because.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Oh God.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  I feel like I've slightly gone off somebody. I know it's, but I feel bad. So Noel Gallagher, as you know, great friends. He just doesn't know it.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  Noel Gallagher has gone out with a 28 year old now and his daughter's 26. Now, I know that people with like different age gaps can work sometimes. I don't think it would be particularly for me. But like, would you not be raging if you were his daughter and your dad's going out with someone that's two years older than you?

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Are you, are we sure now that this is not an AI fake news clickbait story? Is this real?

• 29:24Speaker 00

  I've seen, listen, it was in the Daily Mail, so I'm assuming it's completely 100% gospel.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  Well.

• 29:31Speaker 00

  Are you looking at it, Shell? Joe, you haven't seen that. How do you feel? How does that make you feel as such a big fan?

• 29:38Speaker 02

  I was just making sure that what you said is true because obviously there we have legal obligations to.

• 29:44Speaker 00

  You two are trash, by the way, because you're always, you're always fact checking me.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  Well, do you know what as well? Do you know what I was thinking as well? Because I've been thinking a lot recently. Which is just never.

• 29:56Speaker 00

  Oh, Joe, this isn't, no, it's not good for us.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 30:00Speaker 00

  More drinking, please, Johan.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  I haven't listened to the podcast, I promise.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  I haven't gone that dark yet, but I will.

• 30:09Speaker 00

  God, it's going to come.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  Remember I went to the Oasis after party and their tour manager was very kind to invite me to the Dublin one, but you, you, you weren't. I can't remember. Anyway, whatever. Remember I went to the Oasis after party?

• 30:21Speaker 00

  No, I wasn't invited. There's no, there's no way of sugarcoating that. I wasn't invited.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Well, okay, that's, we'll, we'll, oh yeah, fine. Anyway, you, too many people with you. That was it.

• 30:32Speaker 00

  No, it wasn't.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  People with, it was.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  No, it wasn't.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  You were doing your usual thing of like, I don't rail with less than 12 people on a night out. All my aunts, uncles, sisters, cousins and babies are coming. But I then went on and I was doing this like little bit about the after party. Now, it wasn't even particularly funny, just about the fact that like it was quite like reserved and that I was going to wait until they relapsed and then I was going to join the party again. And it's since, it's since struck me. I was like, what an ungrateful little swine you are, Johan. You got access to an Oasis after party and then you went around slagging it off.

• 31:11Speaker 00

  I don't recall you slagging it off. You were the last woman standing.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  Well, no, I know that. Yeah, but I was, I did, I was doing a little bit on chat as well. My point is, whatever Noel wants to do.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  I'm in, I'm, I'm, I'm in favour. I have nothing negative to say about the man anymore. Um, I, cause I would like to go back to the next after party. And you know what? I mean, uh, 28 for a famous man. I mean, it's, she's quite, she's quite mature.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  I just don't know.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  Maybe she was a friend of his daughter's, you know? Friendship is a great start to a relationship.

• 31:45Speaker 00

  I'd imagine like there would be that.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  Noel, sorry about all the shit about the after party, if you're listening. And Liam, sorry about all the shit.

• 31:52Speaker 00

  I'm just, can I be honest? I'm just glad that my dad died when he did because I'm telling you, Joanne would have fancied the pants off him and I would have been unstoppable and I just wouldn't have been able for it. I wouldn't have liked, I wouldn't have liked it.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  You're lucky he's not embalmed. I'd drag him up.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  I actually just covered my own mouth when I said that.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Well, I don't know.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  Moving on.

• 32:18Speaker 00

  Maybe, well, hang on, I haven't finished about Noel yet. I just, maybe it's because, right? Okay. Maybe if I was single again, which you never know, but touch wood. But maybe if I was, maybe I would just like, I just, I think that I would just turn into, there'd be no more Catholic shame or guilt and I'd just turn into like the ultimate Jorge and just be going around and it wouldn't matter. Once they were over the age of 20, I wouldn't go below 20.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, anything below 20, I think is a stretch.

• 32:50Speaker 00

  I'd go up to 70, cause I mean, Kevin Costner, possible. You never know. You could bump into him, Kevin Costner. I'd go up to 70 and I think I'd, I'd go down to 25 maybe. Cause I'm 40.

• 33:02Speaker 01

  Well, you can live, you can live vicariously through me because as much as I've said, I've given up on men, I haven't actually, and I am. I am, once I've found my inner child, I am, I'm gonna hit hinge again with a violent rage.

• 33:14Speaker 00

  Well, we're looking for it.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  Watch this space.

• 33:16Speaker 00

  Because there'll be a lot of payments for boosts.

• 33:20Speaker 01

  I'm hoping to be in a toxic situation ship by the end of the summer.

• 33:24Speaker 00

  Perfect.

• 33:29Speaker 00

  Well, I tell you a mad story that I heard. I actually heard it when I was in St. Barr's because, and then I was unsure of it. And then it popped up again onto my algorithm. So there's this, you know, the company, the clothing brand Zadig and Voltaire?

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  Do you know it?

• 33:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 33:47Speaker 00

  And it's not cheap.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  No, it's not cheap.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  What's going on with the founder? Okay. So they have this massive house in St. Barr's that they're selling. So like everything's being like, like it's happening. They're, they're both breaking up. Basically, I just thought it was a really mad affair because the owner of Zadig and Voltaire was married to this woman who is a twin.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Identical.

• 34:10Speaker 00

  He started having an affair.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Identical, which I think is a heavy, it's, it's, it means a lot when you're identicals.

• 34:17Speaker 00

  Identical as in like the parents would probably have had trouble telling them apart. If you look at the pictures of the girls. So anyway, he's married to one of the twins, the identical twins. And then he starts having an affair with the other twin. And the other twin has gone out with this other fella, a restaurateur. So then, so then they all break up. Like as in both couples break up. So then the twins start seeing the Zadig and Voltaire guy, obviously fucked off her other sister. Her sister didn't care about her. And then the sister tried to go out with the, with the other sister's ex-husband for a little while. But that didn't work out. But like, I was just, I think I was just so shocked by it because first of all, it's your sister.

• 34:57Speaker 00

  Second of all, you're identical. And third, then you're like, well, it must have been my personality because it wasn't like, you know, you're like, he might've started thinking that like, I was just Ming and, and he just didn't fancy me anymore. No, no. He still fancies you because he's now at your sister who looks the exact same as you.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  I have to say, I've always wanted a sister. Stories like that make me change my mind. I mean, that is the cruellest, meanest, wildest thing you could do to your sister, bar murder her in her sleep. Like to have an affair with your twin sister's husband, they must have serious tensions in the fact, like you wouldn't do that if you got on with, that is such a wild pivot. If you had a good relationship, I'm assuming they have one of those ultimately toxic sister relationships where they're like, constantly backstabbing each other and slagging each other off. And they obviously hate each other on some level. Who would do that?

• 35:50Speaker 00

  I mean. Who I would ne- like, I just couldn't choose someone like that over my family ever. I just couldn't do it. I just think it's so shocking.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  You're breaking up your whole family. I just, and I've seen him. He's not hot.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, but he's not hot, but he kinda looks a bit like the other sister's ex-husband. So they all kinda just look like each other and they're just off around. And also, I just wouldn't be able to have sex with like, a man that I know, I know had to like.

• 36:23Speaker 01

  You've been in my sister. You've been in my sister.

• 36:26Speaker 00

  Imagine giving him a blowjob and you're like, I know where this has been. Yuck.

• 36:31Speaker 01

  My sister's mates.

• 36:32Speaker 00

  It's kind of.

• 36:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. Do you know, when you put it like that, because even, do you know when you even meet someone like, I had a friend who started going out with this Irish guy and she was saying to me, she's English, she, and, and we, I, I kind of had known him at one point in my life. And she was like, did you, you didn't like, there was no, you didn't like hook up with her? And I was like, no, no, no, no. Because she was like, that would be weird for me, even though it was like 20 years ago. And that's a friend. Cause she's saying that would be a little bit weird for me. And I was like, no, no, no, don't worry. And we never, we never, that was never the, that was never the vibe. But yeah, so she, I, I can completely, your twin sister, sick. Like I wouldn't even hook up with anyone you fucked up with.

• 37:13Speaker 00

  I, sorry. Do you not remember one of my exes tried to hook up with you and we didn't even know each other that well and you still wouldn't do it?

• 37:20Speaker 01

  Yes. Well, that was more because he was an absolute fuckboy, but yes.

• 37:25Speaker 00

  He was a ride though. Was a ride. So well done. I appreciate it. Thank you.

• 37:29Speaker 01

  He was a ride. You're welcome.

• 37:30Speaker 00

  He was a ride.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  I took one for the team there.

• 37:34Speaker 00

  Thank you very much.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  Absolutely not. Your genitals have been in the mouth of Vogue Williams. I couldn't possibly.

• 37:42Speaker 00

  Do you know when I've ever really spoken about that?

• 37:45Speaker 01

  I can't compete with that mate. I, I, I'll be lacking no matter what I do.

• 37:52Speaker 00

  No, no more will fit. I'd be like, hum.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. They'd be like, this is shitcrack. I've been a way bigger mouth than this. I'm like, I know.

• 38:01Speaker 00

  Do you remember we... Well, it would actually probably, it would actually be probably better, to be honest with you, with a smaller mouth. My mouth, there's just too much room in there.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, like throwing a sausage up O'Connell Street. Isn't that what they say?

• 38:14Speaker 00

  Exactly. But also, do you remember we spoke? Do you remember we spoke about that thing called...

• 38:19Speaker 01

  Sorry, sorry. You know those things they put down the side of bowling alleys so their kids, the ball, the ball, the ball doesn't go off into the lane? That's what they need for your mouth to feel anything, any resistance at all.

• 38:35Speaker 00

  Do you remember you said...

• 38:36Speaker 01

  Packersized.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  Do you remember when you'd go...

• 38:42Speaker 00

  You used to go to the dentist and they'd stick those cotton wool things down the sides of your mouth. I'd be like, you wouldn't mind leaving them in, would you? I'll take them home, wouldn't you?

• 38:52Speaker 01

  I think we've made our point.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  Thank you so much for listening. It's been a blast as always, guys. We have touched on some of the world's toughest topics and I have enjoyed thoroughly working with you.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  Thank you, Vogue. I've enjoyed working with you also. And Jo, it's been fine.

• 39:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, nice. Great.