Sam Returns - The Boys Hang Out

Episode 516: Shaan Puri (https://twitter.com/ShaanVP) and Sam Parr (https://twitter.com/theSamParr) catch up after Sam’s paternity leave. Want to see the best clips from MFM? Subscribe to our clips channel here. — Show Notes: (0:00) Intro (1:30) Shaan's ‘All-In’ CEO application (7:00) Sam's life as a dad (12:00) Parenthood and happiness (15:00) Fatherhood and masculinity (20:00) How responsibility can improve your life (25:00)Parenting advice from Shaan (28:00) Cheat code: Night nurse — Links: • Shaan’s fake CEO application - https://tinyurl.com/yxh4d4hb — Check Out Sam's Stuff: • Hampton - https://www.joinhampton.com/ • Ideation Bootcamp - https://www.ideationbootcamp.co/ • Copy That - https://copythat.com/ Check Out Shaan's Stuff: • Try Shepherd Out - https://www.supportshepherd.com/ • Shaan's Personal Assistant System - http://shaanpuri.com/remoteassistant • Power Writing Course - https://maven.com/generalist/writing • Small Boy Newsletter - https://smallboy.co/ • Daily Newsletter - https://www.shaanpuri.com/ Past guests on My First Million include Rob Dyrdek, Hasan Minhaj, Balaji Srinivasan, Jake Paul, Dr. Andrew Huberman, Gary Vee, Lance Armstrong, Sophia Amoruso, Ariel Helwani, Ramit Sethi, Stanley Druckenmiller, Peter Diamandis, Dharmesh Shah, Brian Halligan, Marc Lore, Jason Calacanis, Andrew Wilkinson, Julian Shapiro, Kat Cole, Codie Sanchez, Nader Al-Naji, Steph Smith, Trung Phan, Nick Huber, Anthony Pompliano, Ben Askren, Ramon Van Meer, Brianne Kimmel, Andrew Gazdecki, Scott Belsky, Moiz Ali, Dan Held, Elaine Zelby, Michael Saylor, Ryan Begelman, Jack Butcher, Reed Duchscher, Tai Lopez, Harley Finkelstein, Alexa von Tobel, Noah Kagan, Nick Bare, Greg Isenberg, James Altucher, Randy Hetrick and more. — Other episodes you might enjoy: • #224 Rob Dyrdek - How Tracking Every Second of His Life Took Rob Drydek from 0 to $405M in Exits • #209 Gary Vaynerchuk - Why NFTS Are the Future • #178 Balaji Srinivasan - Balaji on How to Fix the Media, Cloud Cities & Crypto • #169 - How One Man Started 5, Billion Dollar Companies, Dan Gilbert's Empire, & Talking With Warren Buffett • ​​​​#218 - Why You Should Take a Think Week Like Bill Gates • Dave Portnoy vs The World, Extreme Body Monitoring, The Future of Apparel Retail, "How Much is Anthony Pompliano Worth?", and More • How Mr Beast Got 100M Views in Less Than 4 Days, The $25M Chrome Extension, and More

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Shaan Puri?

  You text me something, you're like, Sean, you're you're seven out of 10 funny, you're eight out of 10 charming. And I was like, this is a Sam Parr compliment, I think I'm getting here.

• 0:22Sam Parr?

  I'm back.

• 0:25Shaan Puri?

  You know, when Michael Jordan came back to the league, he just faxed in a one pager with just those words on it, I'm back.

• 0:31Sam Parr?

  We have a lot in common, him and I.

• 0:34Shaan Puri?

  Yeah, unfortunately, when he came back, he was wearing number 45 and he kind of sucked that year and they got knocked out of the playoffs. So I'm hoping you're coming back a little stronger.

• 0:44Sam Parr?

  Us six, seven black guys, we have a lot in common, you know what I'm saying? Me and me and MJ, um, did you miss me? It felt like a long time for me. I don't think it felt like a long time for you because you were pretty prolific. You kind of had a couple of hits.

• 0:57Shaan Puri?

  I did so many podcasts in the last three weeks. I definitely missed you because that was a lot of content. Uh, I don't know why I did that. I what I should have done in retrospect was say, okay, Sam's out. Let's not force the issue. When he comes back, we'll come back strong. Instead, I overcompensated when you were out and I was like, no, I am going to create all the content the world needs tonight. And that's what I tried to do.

• 1:21Sam Parr?

  And also, um, we were working really hard ahead of time. I mean, I felt like I was recording a bunch ahead of time, so you've been kind of grinding now for about five weeks now, it feels like.

• 1:31Shaan Puri?

  Yeah, the funny thing is, we thought you were going to be out this month, so we have all these guest hosts planned for this month. That your baby came early and so now we have like a full month of guests, uh, coming up.

• 1:43Sam Parr?

  I can go away. I can go away again, but you did great. I will. We'll talk about some of the stuff I was doing, but you were doing great. So the Sarah Moore podcast was phenomenal. That woman is a superstar. You did a very good job of getting some good stuff out of her. You also did a non pod thing that I thought was some of your finest work. The all in podcast video or the all in CEO application. If you haven't seen it, go to Sean's Twitter and you'll see it. It got 1.1 million views. I looked this morning. That was very good. And you did it all on your own. You even edited it, right?

• 2:15Shaan Puri?

  Yeah, I didn't have an editor, uh, and it was one of those ideas that, so, okay, I'll explain what it is. So the all in podcast, which is a popular business podcast.

• 2:27Shaan Puri?

  Is they were like, oh, we're hiring a CEO and it's the it started by these four guys were the super rich guys. I the joke I make is the all in pod is billionaires talking about billionaire shit. And our pod is millionaires talking about millionaire shit. And so the they were like, we're hiring a CEO to turn this into a real brand and whatever. And so I um, I was like, you know, it'd be funny if I did like a joke application to this pot to the for the job. So I recorded this video. Problem is, the video is good, but I only wrote at the very end that this was a joke and like not meant to be taken seriously. So people are texting my dad. They're like, hey, I heard Sean's gonna get the job for a CEO all in.

• 3:09Shaan Puri?

  Congratulations. My dad's like, what's all in? What's a podcast? And I'm like,

• 3:13Sam Parr?

  And you're insulting them the whole time.

• 3:15Shaan Puri?

  The funny thing, by the way, I told him, I go, my dad texted me that and I go, no, no, no, it's just a joke. And then he goes, okay, who started it? He thinks like someone's like messing with me.

• 3:28Shaan Puri?

  I started it.

• 3:28Sam Parr?

  But you were you were like, you're a ribbon on them. I mean, it was funny. Yeah, it was. So it's all fair because it was mostly funny stuff. But you were giving them a hard time. So that's pretty funny. And then a couple of them replied and be like, you've made it to the second round. So I actually thought they handled it well. Did they reach out to you at all?

• 3:45Shaan Puri?

  No, they handled it well. They didn't reach out. Yeah, just like the public replies or whatever. And then they played it on the pot on there. They played the first five seconds or 10 seconds on their podcast. And unfortunately, that made it even worse because that's that part is where it sounds like I'm serious about it. And then I start roasting them, but they cut off all the me roasting them and just put the part where it's, hey, I'm applying for this job. Which is actually the best roast back that they could have done.

• 4:14Sam Parr?

  I think our friend messaged us and said, one of the great things about or what did he say? He said, a really powerful tool is to be able to take the popular narrative and blunt force your way into the conversation. And you did it perfectly. You did a very good job.

• 4:28Shaan Puri?

  Talking about a newsjacking that I think Ryan Holiday

• 4:30Sam Parr?

  Newsjacking.

• 4:30Shaan Puri?

  Pointed that term, or at least he popularized it, which is you take the current thing, but you find a way to attach yourself to it. You sort of hijack the news, newsjacking. And it's not, well, it wasn't my intent. I just wanted to try something funny. I so I've been, I'll tell you, we do this podcast and I love this podcast. But also, I told you, I'm not like, I'm trying to not go start another company, right? Which is all I've ever done for 15, 16 years is go be like, I'm a startup CEO. I'm going to start a company. It's kind of my identity and I'm trying to shift that. Um, and I'm having a lot of fun creating content, but also it doesn't take that much time to produce this podcast. Like, it takes some time for sure, but like when you're used to working, I don't know, 50, 60 hours a week.

• 5:15Shaan Puri?

  It does. I couldn't put 50, 60 hours a week into this. And again, the smart chill move would be to just take that energy and go be a better dad. Go do some community service and just, just better myself as a whole. But I'm a flawed human being. And so I need to direct that 50, 60 hours of energy into some creative work project. Um, and so I was like, I've been looking for way like other content. I can create other content formats. That are going to be fun. One of them was this idea of doing like something that's a little bit funnier. It's almost the, the thing I did was kind of like, you ever seen last week, tonight or the daily show? It's sort of like.

• 5:56Sam Parr?

  Yeah, I know that you've been loving last week, tonight. I know you've been loving that style.

• 6:00Shaan Puri?

  Yeah. So I would try to do that style. Um, which by the way, very nerve wracking.

• 6:08Sam Parr?

  It's hard.

• 6:09Shaan Puri?

  It's one thing to be doing a podcast and crack a joke in the flow of a conversation. It's another to be like, in this video, I'm going to be funny. I'm going to tell jokes and make you laugh. And it's like, wait, is this like within 10 minutes? I was like, is any of this funny? It's, and I couldn't, I couldn't figure it out, bro. I was like, I was like, I don't know if this is good or this is going to be a total fucking lame thing to put out there. And that was a nice feeling. It was good to feel alive again.

• 6:37Sam Parr?

  Well, here's the good news. Twitter is not a very funny place. So even an eight out of 10 can crush it.

• 6:45Shaan Puri?

  You text me something, you're like, Sean, you're you're seven out of 10 funny. You're eight out of 10 charming. And I was like, this is a Sam Parr compliment, I think I'm getting here.

• 6:58Sam Parr?

  It was awesome. I thought it was good.

• 6:59Shaan Puri?

  But you tell me, how's life as a dad? So you created a baby. You didn't really create it. You played a small role in creating this baby.

• 7:08Shaan Puri?

  The baby's here now. Life changed? Life the same? What's the situation?

• 7:13Sam Parr?

  It changed. I think I talked to 30 friends. You were one of them. And I think the predominant answer was you love, this is from a man. You love your baby, but you're not in love with your baby. And I only heard about five of the 30 people say, I was in love right away. And the but predominantly, people were saying, you know, it's they're just like an alien at first, and you don't really get feedback. That wasn't the case with me, man. I I was I was in right away. I've always been what I always say with animals and children, I'm softer than cream cheese. I've always been soft with with those types of things. And I was in right away, baby. I I loved it. It was awesome. We got a.

• 7:52Sam Parr?

  First of all, we did a C-section, which is like magic. The doctor was like, I'm starting now. And literally, I timed it. Four minutes later, the baby was crying and out. And then the doctor's like, and now I'm putting your uterus back inside of you. And like.

• 8:10Sam Parr?

  It's crazy, man, like.

• 8:11Shaan Puri?

  That's a line you used to use, right?

• 8:14Sam Parr?

  Yeah. I was like, Jake, you owe me a Coke, Doc.

• 8:22Shaan Puri?

  Wait, were you in the room? You told me you were gonna be in the room.

• 8:25Sam Parr?

  I was in the room. And basically, what they do is, you know, mom is laying like one direction, and then they take the baby out and they bring her like 10 feet to the side of her. And I go and check on the baby. And I was like, don't look, don't look, don't look.

• 8:37Shaan Puri?

  What was your angle? Like, were they like?

• 8:39Sam Parr?

  But I still saw it. I still saw.

• 8:40Shaan Puri?

  Sam, you're like, why are you cleaning? Why are you cleaning all the glassware over there?

• 8:46Sam Parr?

  I was like staring at my feet, trying not to look and I, I definitely looked, it was pretty wild. It was gory. Another thing, it, it made me view women as wizards. The fact that they could like have this being growing inside of them and then it like is out. It's just like, it gave me like almost a spiritual respect for my wife. It was, that was pretty magical. It's almost like you view her as a partner and also as like a sex thing, like, you know, like she's, she's sexualized to you. After this, I'm like, you're a god. Like there is, we, you know what I mean? Like, I can't imagine like, you are not like just beautiful to me. You are like this like spiritual being. So like the immense amount of respect. Another thing that happened, I remember thinking, um, the, so the week I went in, uh, or the week we had the baby.

• 9:33Sam Parr?

  I think the stock market was like dying or something. I barely looked, but I remember thinking like, the volume of love that I had for this new baby was so loud that every other problem was just, uh, silent. I just didn't care nearly as much. And so that was like a pretty breathtaking thing to have. Did you experience that?

• 9:52Shaan Puri?

  Some of those things you just described. So I would say, uh, the first six weeks after watching my wife, uh, give birth was like, I was like, um, you know, can I, can I refill that for you? What do you need? Let's just sit down and talk about your needs for a little bit. Like, how can I, the peasant pleb that I am compared to you, do just make your life one ounce easier? And it lasted like only six weeks. I gotta say, I revered back to my normal self after that, but like for six weeks, the, the visceral feeling of watching that happen was, uh,

• 10:32Shaan Puri?

  it made me just be like, okay, I'm, you're a miracle and I'm here to, uh, ease your life in any way that I can, because you just did the hardest thing I've ever seen. Like, you know, I don't know what a C-section is like, but like, you know, my wife was doing all the pushing and all that stuff. And it's just like a primal experience, no epidural, all that crap. And so, after that, I was definitely like you, like you're saying, just in awe. And you see, you know, like a lot of people ask me when we got married, they're like, oh, you're married now, you know, is, how, is life, is it different with you guys? And I was like, no, we've been living together for three years. Like literally nothing changed. And then, but the time something did change was after the baby and not even because of the baby, more how.

• 11:15Shaan Puri?

  How I saw her just changed, you know, I like I saw her perform, you know, an act of God. And so that was, that was cool. Uh, so definitely felt that didn't feel the instant attachment. But um, that's cool that you did. Did you do like skin to skin and all that? Was it like?

• 11:29Sam Parr?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:30Shaan Puri?

  Is it like a pheromone thing? Or like, is it like, is it chemical? Or was it philosophical? Like, did you, did you think it? Or did it just like, feel like there were just the chemicals in your brain going off? What was it?

• 11:45Sam Parr?

  I haven't worn a shirt in two weeks. I basically just, for me, it was.

• 11:50Shaan Puri?

  That's not what they mean when they say.

• 11:56Sam Parr?

  I went and bought a bunch of beaters. I've only been wearing beatles, basically for easy access. I did it just to keep the kid warm. I mean, I, I do it just to keep her warm and it feels nice touching her skin. It's just like, I just like touching her. I just, I, men are a little bit different. I've noticed. I watch a video on Instagram. It's like, oh, I'm just like playing with her face and like, just like rubbing her, rubbing her cheeks and like rubbing her chest and rubbing her back. I just like touching her. It just makes me feel good to touch her and I think it keeps her warm.

• 12:20Shaan Puri?

  Yeah. We, uh, you also said something like it makes the other problems seem small. That's definitely true, right? Because everything's relative in life. Like, you know, isn't it crazy? Like I saw a video the other day on TikTok. Made me so sad. It was this video. It wasn't meant to be a sad video. It was like, you know, these YouTubers that vlog their life. It was a guy vlogging his day, except he was in Peru and they lived in a hut with like dirt floor. And his two kids, it was like, he wakes up at five in the morning. He does his morning routine, which is he does pushups. He was basically doing like Andrew Huberman, but like, you know, the real shit, you know, like he's doing pushups on the dirt floor. He's outside in nature because his home is partially in nature.

• 13:04Shaan Puri?

  And, um, his kids were these two small kids, maybe like three or five years old. And they were like just warming themselves up with like the hot water in the morning and then they were doing their schoolwork on the like cot that they were living on. I'll play this video like it was sad and it's like heartwarming at the same time. This is weird thing and especially, you know, like my daughter is the same age as the kid in the video and so like you just see the difference in quality of life and it's kind of stunning. And it's not the first time, right? Like I lived in Indonesia and my family's from India. Like I've seen poverty before, but you every time you see it, it's like, you know, just like re puts it back in the front of your brain rather than Yeah, but was the guy happy? He was super happy and that's what I was like, he was happy. He was as happy as I am.

• 13:46Shaan Puri?

  And I'm like, you know, this is like some obviously like college wisdom, but like it really is just we acclimate to whatever our circumstances are and we have the sort of like a baseline normal, but it is also, everything is relative. And so it's relative to your expectations. It's relative to your neighbors and it's relative to what you know and what you felt. And so for him, you know, whatever was happening that day would spike him up towards, you know, peak, peak happiness. And if something was what went wrong, it would go a little bit below. And so like, but the absolute, the absolute should have been, if you just look objectively, if an alien was watching, they would say certainly this person is at least 10 times happier on an

• 14:27Shaan Puri?

  absolute basis. And it's like, no, not at all. We're actually probably exactly the same and on an absolute basis. But one thing that does happen is if you have, you know, a kid like your, your quote unquote, problems from before are no longer problems or like, you know, your kid has a runny nose and a cough and all of a sudden, who cares what's happening in Slack or whatever, whatever else. And I think that's one of the, it's one of the many blessings that kids will give you. The other, which you haven't experienced yet probably is when you are talking, like when a kid is little, like maybe you'll say a year and a half years old, you're showing them things and you're like, look, like, oh my God, the water is dripping or like, look at this. I could take this eraser and I could erase the words. It's gone. It's magic. And like,

• 15:12Shaan Puri?

  in trying to make the kid like see the magic in the everyday things that you obviously are also there for the ride. And so you slow down and start to like, Even when you're kind of faking it for the kid, you are feeling the same wonder about all the little things. And that's like the other huge thing that kids, I think, do for you.

• 15:29Sam Parr?

  I'm excited for that. Another thing that I don't think people discussed enough, and I think it's probably because I hang out with a bunch of Peter Pans. So like, most of my friends are between 30 and 40, have like some type of financial success and just like, go to Spain when they want, are single.

• 15:44Shaan Puri?

  Can pronounce Tabitha.

• 15:48Sam Parr?

  Like, a lot of my friends are like, kind of selfish, you know? Not that that's wrong, but what wasn't discussed with me ahead of time was, I feel like a fucking man. I feel so masculine having a kid. Like, I feel like, I feel like it's the final piece of the puzzle, and that I can continue putting the pieces together, but I have all of the pieces now. I didn't realize how masculine it would make me feel. I think I read somewhere that someone defined masculinity as producing excess resources to make sure that your tribe has what they need. And I was like, I get it. And I know.

• 16:23Shaan Puri?

  By the way, I think the definition of masculinity is looking up and defining the word masculinity to like, put some words to this. That's the most masculine thing I could think of.

• 16:36Sam Parr?

  I am what I am. And then I remember thinking how hormonal, like, I remember, like, two nights after, or the first night home, I remember I just heard someone walking outside or something, just in the street, and I just like bolted up, and I was like, ready to roll. And then, it's also crazy how the woman, I was like, in the doctor, I'm like, so when is she gonna start making milk? And like, she didn't have it like, two hours ago. And they're like, oh, she's probably ready to roll, like, right now. And I was like, so you're telling me that you didn't have it, and then like, an hour later, you do? Like, they're like, yeah, your body just knows. And it was just mind boggling to me how primal and animalistic we are, yet we try to avoid that.

• 17:19Shaan Puri?

  Totally, totally. It's miraculous.

• 17:21Sam Parr?

  Is that not crazy to you? Like, I was like, you guys, where's the threshold? Like, does she have to like, do pushups? What do we gotta do to like?

• 17:29Shaan Puri?

  Flowing.

• 17:30Sam Parr?

  Yeah.

• 17:31Shaan Puri?

  Is there a dummy we eat?

• 17:33Sam Parr?

  Yeah. And they're like, oh, just give it a few hours.

• 17:36Shaan Puri?

  I had so many of those like, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on moments with the nurses. And they were like, yeah, I was like, like this happened also during the delivery. I was like, okay. And they're like, hey, you can like walk around like you, you know, you could deliver the baby standing up, you could be on all fours. You go, I was like, on all fours? What are we talking about here? They're like, yeah, actually it's an easier position, less painful. And I was like, every movie or TV show, there's only one position that they show.

• 18:02Sam Parr?

  They can't show butt, but hole on the camera. So that's why.

• 18:05Shaan Puri?

  I'm in the like second phase of the like labor process and I'm having a hang on, hold on, no way, no way moment. And they're like, dude, it's first of all, it's just not about you right now. You need to have learned, that's actually rule number one. Rule number two, yes, all of these things that you don't understand, they're real and they happen.

• 18:22Sam Parr?

  Yeah, so that was crazy. And then maybe I'll say the last thing, I don't know how this has impacted your career, but let's talk about money for a minute. I have a feeling this is going to make me significantly better in my career because I think my hours will be more focused. I also think that as she grows, I'm going to want to show like consistency. So like a normal nine to five or it just to make an example of like, look, I, I, I'm here to provide, I commit to what I say, I, I show up and get through things. I think it's going to actually make me more successful, even if I have less hours. Do you think that's going to be true?

• 18:55Shaan Puri?

  I think it's true because you're telling yourself that. Yeah. Like, you know, my, my grand theory of life is that our brain is basically a giant labeling machine and that the, my view of the world is that these, it's like a box is coming on the conveyor belt. That's just things happening in life. And then our brain puts the label on it and says, this means this, oh, this guy drove in front of me, this means he's an asshole and he cut me off verse or like this means like something else completely. I could just completely make up a different definition. I could be focusing on the plants instead of that. And so our brain is this labeling machine and it's, that's what defines everything that happens in our life. And I think that for you. You're gonna, you're saying, you know what this baby means in my life?

• 19:37Shaan Puri?

  It means that now I'm gonna be more mature, I'm gonna be wiser, I'm gonna be more focused, I'm gonna show her work ethic, I'm gonna wanna, you know, be less erratic, I'm gonna actually like zen out or sort of chill out and be a stable rock type figure. So then you're gonna do exactly that, it's a self fulfilling thing, right? Like, so yeah, I do think it will be that for you, but I don't think it's because of the baby, I think that's because you're putting a really strong empowering meaning on the baby. You did this, by the way, we should talk about, and I'm so sorry to hear about Sid, your dog, but I read your blog post, and you said kind of a similar thing, can you talk about that? Like, you basically said like, you were kind of in the F-boy mode, you get this dog.

• 20:20Sam Parr?

  So if you follow me on social media, you'll know I've got this huge dog, or I had this huge dog, I've had him for 15 years almost, and he was my best friend, I loved this animal. And basically, when he was three, maybe, or two years old, I got a DUI, and I spent 24 hours in jail, and I came home and he went to the bathroom in the house, and I was, I was so upset, I'm like, oh my god, this dog didn't know I was gonna come home, what if I was there for three days, this was miserable, I gotta get my shit together, I have a responsibility. And so that was a turning point, was, I was like, I have this responsibility, I have to take care of him, and it changed my life. And I remember thinking like, it felt good, it felt good to care about something.

• 21:05Sam Parr?

  And some people, I guess I could say this now that I have kids, but people were insulted when I would say, I was like, yeah, having a dog, it's kind of like 5% of having a kid, and people were like, what, how dare you? And I'm like, now that I have a kid, I'm like, yeah, it was like 5%, where like, I had a thing that I cared for, it was, the animal was obviously inherently probably less valuable, but also, like, less work, but I had this like inherent, I care for you, and I wanna, I wanna make sure you have what you need, and that definitely changed me for the better. Leading up to the baby being born, I knew Sid was gonna die soon, I even wrote like a fake obituary for him before he died, so I can like enjoy my last six months with him. And we, my wife and I were like,

• 21:47Sam Parr?

  We gotta get them to, we gotta get them to the birth. We gotta do this. I, we need to just take this one picture and we need to just to complete the picture, or I needed to of like going from like moron idiot fuck boy to like a family man and I've got my act together. I was like, I need him to see that.

• 22:06Shaan Puri?

  You said something great. You said, uh, dogs for guys in their early twenties are like a special thing specifically. What does you mean by that?

• 22:15Sam Parr?

  Yeah, dog in your early twenties because when men in their early twenties, when you're 21, you have, you're no longer a kid. So you have more responsibility and you are, uh, you don't get a pass for doing dumb things, but you're still a dumb person. And oftentimes that means that you're going to grow. And when you grow, the friends that you have at 21, a lot of times aren't the same friends that you have at 31. But your dog in your twenties is the only one that has been there the whole time and they've been giving you loyalty and love unconditionally. And so a man and the dog in the twenties, that's a very special dog.

• 22:48Shaan Puri?

  They see the transformation.

• 22:50Sam Parr?

  They see the transformation and they're the only ones. I mean, not all the people who you're friends with at 21, they knew college, Sean.

• 22:57Shaan Puri?

  Right.

• 22:57Sam Parr?

  And you're still friends with them maybe, but they don't know what you've been doing lately. And then your wife and your friends now, they don't know what you were. And there's really only one, one being.

• 23:05Shaan Puri?

  And they're there every day in your house. And like you said, unconditionally, they don't judge you either, but they, you know, uh, it's a powerful thing.

• 23:13Sam Parr?

  The point of my blog post was like, I never truly cared about legacy because I'm like, the feeling that I'm going to have when I die is the feeling that I had before I was born, which is nothing. So why do I care? And this dog died, my, my buddy Sid died. And I remember thinking like, I did so much to please you and that impacted me, which maybe I've had a little bit of impact on some other people. And it was really because of my love for you. And, and so it changed my perspective on legacy. And what's crazy is we were due like right about now, uh, November 1, and he died in October. So we had him for 10 days after birth. And I was like, I kinda like, it was a little spiritual where I'm like, oh my God, like the world worked. Like how on, how like whatever 15 years is, however many days that is, that

• 23:57Sam Parr?

  many days plus 10 days is what I got.

• 23:59Shaan Puri?

  Right.

• 24:00Sam Parr?

  And so that was like a very meaningful impact for me. I posted that blog post. What's crazy to me is I felt like a pussy sharing that because I used to make fun of people who like cared about their dogs as much. And then I'm like, oh, I've totally become that.

• 24:12Shaan Puri?

  If you ever, I mean, it might be too raw for you at the moment, but there's a great, there's a guy who runs or like is a main host of SportsCenter, Scott Van Pelt. And he did a tribute to his dog when his dog passed on air on SportsCenter for like three minutes. He just talked and, uh, you know, definitely gonna cry, you know, when you watch that. And, uh, you know, that feeling is, uh, I don't know anybody who has a dog that doesn't love their dog. I don't know anybody who loves, who loves a dog that wouldn't feel that way. So, you know, it is completely reasonable.

• 24:46Sam Parr?

  It, it was the first time I've cried in probably 13 years and I was like, oh my God. Like, so it was pretty wild. Um, but I'm happy it worked out and I have one bone to pick with you.

• 24:58Sam Parr?

  I wish you would have told me to have a kid sooner. I wish you would have told me because you're, you're have always been like Mr. Cool Guy where you like, you withhold a little bit of emotion where you don't want to express how wonderful it is. And well, maybe you just don't feel that way, but I don't think that's true. But like within days of having her, I remember thinking there was no reason for me not to do this four years sooner because then I will have four years left because if I die at the same age, I would have had four additional years. I wish you would have told me to do it sooner. Uh, I wish that that's one of my only regret and not a lot of people talk about that. They always say, oh, wait, you've got time. Man, it's pretty awesome. I wish I would have done it sooner.

• 25:37Shaan Puri?

  Yeah, I, I think, uh, my, I guess my personal advice would still be the same. So kids are amazing, awesome. And so like so much fun. Um, like, you know, the fun gets baked into your day. You don't have to like go do anything. Like what you don't realize when you're in your like twenties or thirties or you're single or whatever is like to, you have to basically chase fun. It's like, ah, I'm going to fucking Coachella and then I'm going to this thing. I'm gonna go hang out over here and then we're gonna, I'm gonna learn this new skill and I'm gonna do all these things. And you look at people with kids and you're like, ah, suckers trapped in jail with their kids. And what I don't realize is you basically took all of the dope life experiences, you simplified them and you get to just have them in your house all the time. And like, that's

• 26:20Shaan Puri?

  actually what's happening to those people you think are trapped with their kids. Um, but like the people and their kids, you know, you don't want to be that obnoxious, condescending person with kids. It's just like, like my brother-in-law said this once and he's like, he's like, you know, the only real person that like, we could talk real with each other. And he's like, um,

• 26:37Shaan Puri?

  Your life doesn't have any meaning till you have kids. He's like, that's just how I feel. Okay. He's like, I know I'm not supposed to say that. I know that's not.

• 26:44Sam Parr?

  I'm gonna gatekeep. I'm gonna gatekeep from now on. People say something like, oh, you don't know any better. Wait till you have kids. You don't know.

• 26:49Shaan Puri?

  And he said that, he said that, not to me, but he was like, we were talking about somebody else. He's like, they just don't realize it. And they're gonna keep talking themselves into how, you know, blah, like how their life is so awesome without kids. He's like, but my life, he's talking for himself. He's like, you know, I didn't have any meaning until this. And now I have, you know, uh, you know, my compass full. The other thing I would say, though, is that the four years you're talking about, like there, it is a one way door to use the Jeff Bezos decision making framework. Once you have a kid, you can't unhave the kid really. And so you, you're gonna like, your freedoms have changed fundamentally from this point forward. And so I think that the freedoms you have, like, you know, that age 26 to 31 or whatever,

• 27:32Shaan Puri?

  are pretty valuable. You should have them while you're there. And then go walk through that one way door and like, you know, now you have a different set of joys, but you do have a different set of, a different degree of freedom. I think that's much more important than like you, you know, worrying about these like kind of my age is 76 to 80. You know, glad I had those four extra years. I don't think your, I don't think life actually works like that. I think you, it is good you had the freedom to do all the things you did and become the person you became, you know, it happened at the right time for you. I think you settled down.

• 28:03Sam Parr?

  Yeah. But it's been pretty magical.

• 28:06Shaan Puri?

  Four years ago, what were you doing? You're living on Sixth Street in, uh, San Francisco. You're stressed out.

• 28:13Sam Parr?

  I was learning the difference between meth, crack and heroin and like the different ways in which you put it in your body, walking around Soma.

• 28:19Shaan Puri?

  You're having a dare class without the dare officer in Soma, San Francisco. And you're stressed out building your company. You're making $37,000 a year. I don't think that was the right time to have the kid. I think my advice was good to say, wait.

• 28:32Sam Parr?

  By the way, I know that you, I, I, I understand this perspective of why people don't do it. I totally get it. A night nurse is a cheat code. Everyone keeps telling me, so those who don't know, a night nurse, it's basically this lady who is in this other room with the baby. When the baby cries every three hours, she goes and wakes up mom and says, all right, all right, Heifer, it's time to feed. All right, like my wife was basically a cow for three months. And she's like, hey, whip the boob out, you're good to go. And I sleep in a separate room. And my sleep has been awesome. Women, I don't know if it's my wife, but I feel like a lot of women, they go through the waking up every three hours and they still have a pretty good day the next day. Maybe there's running on adrenaline.

• 29:17Sam Parr?

  But for me, I cannot wake up every three hours and still be a functioning human being the next day.

• 29:23Shaan Puri?

  You need a night nurse too.

• 29:25Sam Parr?

  I need a night nurse. I want someone to swaddle me. I would love to get swaddled.

• 29:28Shaan Puri?

  Dude, I still sleep with my wife's pregnancy pillow because I'm like, this is incredible. This is the level of comfort that was available to me. Why is this only for pregnant women? Justice for non-pregnant women.

• 29:40Sam Parr?

  My knees haven't touched in bed for like the last nine months. Like dude, knees should not be touching when you sleep.

• 29:47Shaan Puri?

  Did I send you that one pregnancy pillow, the Swedish one? Somebody sent this to me and I was like, Swedish pregnancy pillow? Who did I, can I just get one off Amazon? And they're like, brother, just shut up and trust me. And I did, I ordered this thing. It took like a week and a half to arrive. And boy, has it arrived in my life. My kid, my daughter's four now. That's four years I've been sleeping with this pillow. I bought two, it's incredible.

• 30:13Sam Parr?

  Hey, I've been wearing nipple guards when I go running. So like, hey, I'm all about all the different pregnancy stuff. But yeah, it's been awesome. I'm going to try and not be that guy that posts all this stuff on social media, but I might be. You don't post your children, do you?

• 30:29Shaan Puri?

  Well, I don't even use Instagram and stuff, so I don't, I don't really.

• 30:32Sam Parr?

  But is it a rule that you don't do it?

• 30:34Shaan Puri?

  No, no, no, I just.

• 30:35Sam Parr?

  You just haven't gotten around to it?

• 30:37Shaan Puri?

  I don't like to. Post that type of stuff. I post like, I'll tweet random thoughts or I'll do a podcast. That's like what I like to put thoughts out there, not necessarily like life pictures.

• 30:50Sam Parr?

  Well, I'm gonna try also not to be that guy, but we'll see if, uh, we'll see if I can keep up with that.

• 30:56Shaan Puri?

  All right. Well, this is the, uh, the catch up episode. We'll just go ahead and publish this even though it's totally different than a normal episode. It's us reconnecting, rebonding. Um, uh, you know, we needed a little skin to skin after. One was only two weeks apart.

• 31:12Sam Parr?

  Bro, let me put my cheek, let me put my cheek to your chest, man. Warm my cheeks.

• 31:19Sam Parr?

  All right. That's the part.