Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 774: Bear No Skyver About this episode Welcome, welcome! May we interest you a lovely Charlugerie board? It includes a variety of tasteful jokes to be enjoyed in pairings, as well as a stinky cheese that you need to justify eating, a brand-new McElroy cousin, and over here is a delectable back full of allergy stickers.
Suggested talking points: Gordo the Slime Angel, Sky-Rizzy Arc, Sin Cheese, Fiber Min-Maxxing
World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/
Transcript 10,480 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
1:10 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. Uh, yeah, what's up, Trav Nation? You're Miller's brother, Travis, Big Dog Wolf, Vern Free McElroy.
1:23 Griffin McElroy? Wonder what that's all about?
1:25 Travis McElroy? Yeah, trying to meet, hopefully there's a story there.
1:27 Griffin McElroy? Can't wait to crack that nut. And I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. And I've got the old magnifying lens out, looking for clues.
1:38 Travis McElroy? I think Griffin, I think, why my old trickies acting up? I think we got 60%.
1:45 Griffin McElroy? Something's been befouled in the state of Denmark. You guys might not have noticed, but. I smell a bit of. My energy's a little bit off. Yeah.
1:58 Travis McElroy? Hmm. Speak on this Travis. Well, I've been thinking about it a lot and listen, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm so grateful when you guys cast me in the role of Travis. Yeah. And like my career was not doing great at the time and ever since I got. We say, we save, we saved you. Yeah, it's done wonders for my crew. But I feel. Us him.
2:24 Travis McElroy? It's obvious. Check the legal documentation. We saved him. I'm worried that at this point, the storylines have gotten a little stale. Not paid to worry. Paid to act like Travis. Not paid to worry. Real Travis is worried. Listen, and I know I'm not the writers, but I feel like the storylines have gotten a little stale. Sure. Um, we've been doing the show for a while now and I thought maybe like I could pitch to you guys some new kind of like storylines or plot points that we could.
2:50 Griffin McElroy? And maybe we could even come up with some of our own.
2:53 Travis McElroy? Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you want to. We, we wanted our.
2:58 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I take it back. You, I know a few weeks ago, we pulled you aside and we said that you really weren't nailing the role of Travis. Yeah. You are.
3:06 Griffin McElroy? You really, you really stepped into it.
3:09 Travis McElroy? Thank you. I spent. And stepped into it. Yeah. I've spent a lot of time with the real Travis trying to get inside his head. Yeah. I am so sorry. You are receiving the special hazard pay that we do offer. Thank you very much.
3:22 Griffin McElroy? So what's your first pitch for us Travis?
3:24 Travis McElroy? So.
3:24 Griffin McElroy? Because you know, I like consistency. People like this product and I'm not looking to shake things up just to be a, just, just a race to be last to the disruption market.
3:33 Travis McElroy? No, I think, I think that this is, uh, gonna be just a, a really seamless transition. So we introduce like a cool teenage cousin character named Skyver.
3:44 Griffin McElroy? So this is going to be one of our cousins? Because I don't think they're still making those.
3:50 Travis McElroy? No, he's Travis's cousin.
3:54 Griffin McElroy? I still don't think, I still don't think when you're in your, in your mid 40s, I don't think you're getting a lot of new cousins.
4:01 Travis McElroy? Well, he could be like an illegitimate cousin or something, however we want to do it, or like a long lost cousin, something like that.
4:08 Griffin McElroy? Okay. I'm just saying, we saw the fam last week while we were, while we were.
4:13 Travis McElroy? And you're telling me that you could name every single one of them and tell me there's, with a hundred percent certainty, there's no Skyver among them?
4:19 Griffin McElroy? That they could bear, that they could, and also that they could bear no Skyver. Yeah, for sure, man.
4:24 Travis McElroy? Okay, so then Travis.
4:26 Travis McElroy? Family gathering and my wife looks to me for guidance and I look back at her.
4:30 Travis McElroy? The void looks back at you.
4:32 Travis McElroy? I can tell you.
4:33 Travis McElroy? Void knows less than you do.
4:34 Griffin McElroy? Hey, I'll tell you who the cool ones are. I know the, I know all the cool uncles.
4:38 Travis McElroy? Well, Skyver is definitely one of the cool ones. He skateboards and he's like a bassist in a high school band.
4:43 Griffin McElroy? And he's, he's gonna be on the show, we're splitting profits with.
4:46 Travis McElroy? So what happens is the Travis character and Skyver go to a museum together or something and like touch an old spooky staff.
4:54 Griffin McElroy? And you switch bodies.
4:55 Travis McElroy? Bodies, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then like Skyver as Travis has to do the podcast and Travis as Skyver has to.
5:04 Griffin McElroy? And are we gonna follow Travis? Are we going to?
5:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah, we're gonna follow both of them.
5:08 Griffin McElroy? So hold on, wait, which you is gonna be on the show?
5:12 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
5:12 Griffin McElroy? Which you, young body, old brain, or old, old body, young brain?
5:16 Travis McElroy? Well, we're gonna cut between the storylines, it's like they weave back together because we'll see Skyver as Travis doing the podcast and Travis as Skyver learning to skateboard and sell drugs.
5:25 Travis McElroy? How do we communicate? I don't feel like we've ever tried to communicate like mixed, mixed timelines, like Hill Street Blues style.
5:33 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
5:33 Travis McElroy? In like, in the podcast form, I don't feel like that happens.
5:36 Griffin McElroy? We don't do, we don't do Family Guy style cutaways. We do a lot of other.
5:39 Travis McElroy? Voicemails.
5:41 Griffin McElroy? Voicemails from a team.
5:42 Travis McElroy? And like, yeah, videos that Skyver sends us, that kind of thing.
5:46 Griffin McElroy? That idea's a real stinker, Trav. What else, what else do you got?
5:49 Travis McElroy? Well, then you do one, and if it could have a focus on the Travis character, that would be great.
5:54 Griffin McElroy? Uh, maybe it could even be mine, about me or Justin.
5:58 Travis McElroy? I guess, okay, what do you got?
6:01 Griffin McElroy? Um, I don't actually, I mean. I don't really have anything. That's the problem. Okay, we find. I'm join, I am going to join the Swedish House Mafia. Ooh. And I, that's gonna be my new thing is I'm gonna talk a lot about all of our shows. And all of our parties and some of the new tunes we've got coasting over the UK airways. And obviously, there's gonna be some pretty big lifestyle changes for me. I don't know anything about Swedish House Mafia. Yeah. Except that they're a, a, a house music supergroup. It's gonna be quite a learning curve. There'll be a huge learning curve. I have to learn Swedish. Yeah, that's fair. Have to learn, have to learn Swedish. Tough.
6:41 Griffin McElroy? Um, I was thinking of another one where we win a sweepstakes and we think it's to go on a cruise. But it's, we win the whole cruise ship. And then we own a boat and then it's about us. Yeah, and then it's like three captains. It's kinda cool. Let me, let me, let me just, can we put a little, can we put some guardrails on this motherfucker? Okay, okay, yeah. Like what? We can't, we can't get a boat and I don't wanna pretend to be on a boat for an extended period of time. So like, any of your ideas that are like, we find, we hire a teenager to now be on the show. Like, you understand the level of bits we're capable of. I became a- Our dalliances with extended plotlines in the past have been some of our, our most notorious whoopsies.
7:25 Griffin McElroy? Like, for example, when we were sponsored by Ga, remember the, the 2.0 era? Yeah. Yeah, man. Relaunch this show for like 10 episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, way more sponsored. Uh, that was, nobody liked that. Um, there was the eclipse episode where the whole thing sounded terrible and it looked like a nightmare because we recorded it during the full eclipse. And everyone hated that. Yeah. You know, the Star Wars incident. Don't need to say anything else. I became a dog for a while, but that just was basically, I said, I'm a dog now. So like, there was no props or new hiring. There's no overhead effect of, so like, we, I'm on the, you know, financial side of things. I'm always balancing the boat. Our successes are usually almost accidental. Yes.
8:10 Griffin McElroy? Less than planned. Accidental, and I can't stress this enough. Virtually costless. Well, I don't. Basically free to implement. I hate to resume drop, but as you guys know, I was recurring Untouched by an Angel. For its run and as it went on. You play Gordo the slime angel. Go on. And the budgets increased over time. Have you guys talked to the studio about increasing our budget to a point where we could get? Like a boat. The studio's the listeners, Trav. That's what's so great. What? That's what's so great about the max fund model is that we are directly, it's not a max fund drive. I'm gonna start speaking in a tone of voice that's gonna. If you activate him, we'll have to shoot him a tranquilizer dart.
8:51 Griffin McElroy? Or for the next week, 10 days, he'll just be prattling on about all the great Boko. A budget increase from the studio is going to have to entail a bunch more people. Listening to our show and donating specifically so that we can do a whole role play where we are boat captains. Like that's a dream. Fun. That doesn't exist. That's. Well, let me ask. Yeah. Go ahead, Juice.
9:13 Travis McElroy? As long as we're talking angels, I was actually thinking, are we wedded to the Justin McElroy character? We like.
9:20 Griffin McElroy? Oh, no. Listen, this is, we've died.
9:23 Travis McElroy? Okay.
9:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I guess.
9:24 Travis McElroy? I was thinking, he finally needs a romance, right?
9:26 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
9:27 Travis McElroy? He's been, we've been.
9:28 Griffin McElroy? Absolutely.
9:29 Travis McElroy? Will they, won't they for a long time?
9:30 Griffin McElroy? With his mayor, with.
9:32 Travis McElroy? What if he had an angel romance?
9:34 Griffin McElroy? Huh?
9:36 Travis McElroy? With an angel.
9:37 Griffin McElroy? Speak on that.
9:38 Travis McElroy? Angel romance.
9:40 Griffin McElroy? Like a vampire?
9:41 Travis McElroy? With him. No, she is an angel.
9:43 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
9:44 Travis McElroy? Who falls in love with him because she is, he is like as close as she has seen to like an angel on earth.
9:52 Griffin McElroy? Right. Yeah.
9:53 Travis McElroy? Okay. Both visually and just sort of like personality wise and mentally.
9:57 Griffin McElroy? Right.
9:57 Travis McElroy? And she falls so hard that she is like. I want to make myself real.
10:04 Griffin McElroy? Cool.
10:05 Travis McElroy? A real, real person.
10:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:08 Travis McElroy? That I can be with.
10:09 Griffin McElroy? Are you imagining Sydney's face listening? Oh, that's great. Casting. Do you have casting in mind?
10:17 Travis McElroy? So this is important. This is important that Justin character is unaware of any of this taking place.
10:22 Griffin McElroy? Oh, wow.
10:23 Travis McElroy? The angel storyline is completely, it's just a very relatable plot.
10:26 Griffin McElroy? This is good. See Travis, this is good, cuz it's free. Yeah. It's free to say there's a horny invisible angel behind Justin at all times, just waiting. Oh, so not CGI cuz I was picturing on CGI. No, Travis, free. No. God damn it Travis. No casting, no voice acting, no, no.
10:44 Travis McElroy? Any initials, if you do any initials, we probably can't. Right, CGI, no.
10:50 Griffin McElroy? Now, we gotta be careful here.
10:51 Travis McElroy? SAG, Travis, that's a good one, S A G, no, no after.
10:55 Griffin McElroy? We can't say that though, because like, as fired up as people are about AI taking over creative jobs.
11:00 Travis McElroy? No AI, can't afford it.
11:02 Griffin McElroy? Well, yeah, but I think it may be worse to say it's not AI, but it's invisible and it's imaginary. Imagine.
11:09 Travis McElroy? If Wonka can do it, you know?
11:12 Griffin McElroy? That's true, that's a good point. Is there a Wonka storyline we could incorporate? Not for free. Okay. Not for free, not for no cost whatsoever. Okay. I could say, I could say, I mean, here's the extent of it, Travis, do you wanna see? And you let me know if this would be satisfying, okay? Okay. It'd be like, Justin'd be like, whoa, and you'd be like, and I'd be like,
11:32 Griffin McElroy? salutations, welcome into my candy factory. And I would gesture behind me to just like my office. And I would say stuff, but it wouldn't be timely and I wouldn't do a good job with it. So like a free Wonka is not even worth the, worth the attempt. I'm, I'm not gonna say no to it. To free Wonka? Just think about it, I think it work, I think it plays. Um, the last thing I wanna ask you guys. But what if he's just all about nuts? Oh, yeah. What if he's Willy Wonka, but instead about like chocolate and candy? He's only about different kinds of. Billy Tonka, what do you think? I'm thinking of.
12:13 Griffin McElroy? Nutty Wonka, and that doesn't, give me, give me two, give me two business days.
12:18 Travis McElroy? Okay.
12:18 Griffin McElroy? Give me two business days and I'll come back with something, okay?
12:21 Travis McElroy? Okay. Would you guys be, would you guys be okay if I, you know, pilot season's coming up? If I submitted my resumes to some other things?
12:30 Travis McElroy? Travis, you wanna look around?
12:31 Travis McElroy? I mean, I'm just saying, I'm not saying I wanna leave.
12:34 Travis McElroy? You think that, you think the grass is greener?
12:36 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, good luck, pal. We've been doing this for nineteen years. Pretty chilly out there.
12:41 Travis McElroy? Okay.
12:41 Griffin McElroy? I refuse, but go for it. I will say, I refuse to be the bushel under which you hide your candle.
12:47 Travis McElroy? Okay, cuz if the Hank, if Hank and John want like a third brother?
12:51 Griffin McElroy? We should do a switch.
12:54 Griffin McElroy? We should do a swap.
12:56 Travis McElroy? Hold on, hold on, now hold on. Now hold on, hold on, this is interesting.
13:00 Travis McElroy? If you guys wanted to offer me more money, I'd stay, is what I was gonna, okay.
13:03 Travis McElroy? Oh, was this just, you were just trying to flex on us? This is interesting now. What do we have that the Greens don't have? It occurs to me, one more brother. You know what I mean? What do they have that we don't have? Well, where do I start? You know?
13:19 Travis McElroy? Respect from their colleagues?
13:22 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man. I mean, where do I start? So here's what I'm saying.
13:27 Travis McElroy? Uh huh.
13:27 Travis McElroy? Make, make, make, Green Brothers? Make us an offer.
13:31 Griffin McElroy? One for one.
13:33 Travis McElroy? One, no.
13:34 Griffin McElroy? A one for, one for money.
13:37 Travis McElroy? No, no, something.
13:38 Travis McElroy? Wait, I'm being traded now. Wait, hold on.
13:41 Travis McElroy? I'm saying, it's not a, it's not a trade. It's not a trade yet.
13:45 Travis McElroy? I just don't, just don't do it for like a second round draft pick.
13:48 Griffin McElroy? That's what I'm saying, it's for a future. It's actually, Travis, can I tell you? We've hit our budget cap.
13:53 Travis McElroy? Fuck.
13:54 Griffin McElroy? And, yeah, we missed the trade deadline, so like, we gotta, we gotta, it'll be a good sweet, a sweetheart deal for those Greens.
14:01 Travis McElroy? Honestly, we didn't know how to broach it with you, but when you were like, pilot season's coming up, I was like, thank God. Well, now, hold on, cuz the tradation might get, you know, maybe consider just upping the budget. I'll take the tea business and leave them the coffee. You know, what about that? How about this? The tea, the, the tea will still be for charity. That's even, they can use that if they want. And then the coffee side, pure profits.
14:28 Travis McElroy? Oh, this is a literal thing about their thing. I thought that this was an extended metaphor about me that I was.
14:34 Travis McElroy? No, no, no. I say we have, we have the power, the additional power of a third brother, right? That's huge for us and it's really all we have to offer, right? So like, if they've got something that where they feel, if they want to cut us in, not even cut us in, but like, I would really love like the merch biz or whatever, like.
14:52 Griffin McElroy? They can drop all the lawsuits that they have against us and that.
14:55 Travis McElroy? Even some of those would be so choice.
14:58 Griffin McElroy? Were the ones where they're like, we're the brothers doing, doing podcast shows.
15:03 Travis McElroy? They tried to copyright brothers?
15:04 Griffin McElroy? They tried to copyright brothers doing podcast shows like, like last year. It's like, we've, come on guys. So like drop that.
15:12 Travis McElroy? I could guess on that. I don't have to leave this show to do a crossover guest, right?
15:17 Griffin McElroy? Can you imagine how disruptive you would be to the finely tuned machinery of those, of those brothers and the way that they? Maybe the third heat they need though. You could also be the sloppy wet rag thrown into the gears of the grandfather clock that is the Green Brothers. You could be the sloppy wet rag that gets all the gears all sloppy and gross and rusty.
15:37 Travis McElroy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:39 Griffin McElroy? And I love the, we love the sloppy rag here, Travis. I'm saying I love getting sloppy with the dog.
15:44 Travis McElroy? Powdered coffee creamer cast on to the campfire that starts the forest fire that burns the whole thing down.
15:49 Griffin McElroy? We're all sloppy dogs here and I love it. I'm saying if you went over there, man.
15:54 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
15:55 Travis McElroy? Maybe I could.
15:55 Travis McElroy? Mustard stain on the Pope's jacket.
15:57 Travis McElroy? Yeah. As they say, maybe I could go over there and just do some like insider, like bring them down from the inside to up our.
16:05 Griffin McElroy? Hell, that could be good. Hell, yeah.
16:06 Travis McElroy? Oh dude.
16:07 Griffin McElroy? Now we're talking storylines. Now we're talking.
16:10 Travis McElroy? Now that's good shit, actually. Yeah.
16:12 Travis McElroy? You could be like brother v brother. If you do that, Trav, we are perfectly willing to be like, that was the plan all along.
16:20 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
16:20 Travis McElroy? Like, I'll play along with that if you want.
16:23 Griffin McElroy? Can we do advice? I've been invited by a company. Sorry, I do need to stop. I need to share this with you because it's gonna be relevant if you see me on video trying to move over where my back is covered with stickers right now for an allergy test. Oh. I've got, guys, I've got- So you're allergic to stickers? I've got seventy-eight goddamn stickers on my back right now. Is that an exaggeration? No, seventy-eight. Seventy-eight big ones. Did they apply them individually? Um, no, they came in six big patches. How many of them are like Paw Patrol and- I'll show you if we blur out the video because I don't really want this. No, not, not for those back perverts. Oh my, it looks like you got a bunch of tattoos that are now covered up.
17:09 Griffin McElroy? This feels like I'm in fucking Red Dragon. This feels like I'm in- No one made you do this! Well, I know- Is this what you want? I can't turn my body like this and I knew it was gonna come up.
17:23 Griffin McElroy? No one would have noticed. No one would have asked. You brought it up, dude. Oh my. Fuck. Alright, now I'm so, I'm so excited to talk to you about this, Griffin. Speak on it. Yeah. Um, as you know, I have sensitive skin. I have skin sensitivities. And, um, in order to kind of get to the bottom of it, I'm doing a little bit of sort of like, looking inward and like trying to figure out what makes- At the outside of your skin? At the outside of my skin to see what I'm allergic to. Each one has a little bit of common household product stuff on them. And then they're gonna take it off, they're gonna say, "That looks fucked up." So number fourteen, what is that? Oh no, it's soap, like any soap.
18:06 Griffin McElroy? Have you thought, Griffin, that maybe one of them is blank and it's a test to see if you're faking it? Maybe. I like the way it feels, if I'm being honest, I might just- The stickers? Yeah, I feel like John McClane at the end of Die Hard when he has the gun behind his back, that's basically what I'm working with. Huh. It gives me a lot of support. Yeah. Do you promise that you are going to tell us the details of this? Like are we getting to know- Yeah, Juice, I promise on the next episode, I'm going to tell everyone exactly what I'm allergic to so that they can kill me next time they see me. Nice try, no. No, Jason Mansouk just made that mistake and now he's on the run. He had to go to England to stay safe. He can't step outside without someone throwing an egg at him on the street, that people, left and right.
18:48 Travis McElroy? How did you come by this sheet? Did you just see it at CVS and you're like, let's go, let's go? Yeah, I went to CVS. I said, give me the biggest, stickiest sheet you have. I would love to not- Where'd you get the sheet? I'm just curious about the sheet. I've never had one, so I'm just curious if we got the sheet. I went to a special sheet doctor. Do you think I'm freestyling this? Do you think this is a home crud? You had to wait in a waiting room and everything, right? You had to drive there, wait in the waiting room, the whole thing, right? Yeah, for this- How bad are the, like, what is happening to you? Griffin, like, what is happening to you? Can you feel, can you feel like pinpoint grid? What has been going on with your skin where you're like, I have to go through this hole? Look, man, before we can- What is happening? Before we can take any serious measures, before I can start huffing that fucking Sky Rizzi
19:28 Travis McElroy? and changing my fucking biochemistry of becoming a stronger, better, more engineered brother, um, I gotta see what makes me fucking tick, dude. They don't just give Sky Rizzi to anyone, duh. These are more storylines. This is great. The Sky Rizzi art- But the Sky Rizzi's too- The Sky Rizzi is good. Sky Rizzi's too real, dude. I can't bring Sky Rizzi into the conversation. Unless they want, unless, one, I do end up taking it. Two, it does end up working. And three, they want to sponsor us. For a lot of money. You start taking the Sky Rizzi and then you become the Dovakizzi, right? And you can do all of the shouts, yeah. Yeah, fizzy Rizzi Dizzy.
20:07 Travis McElroy? Did you say fizzy Rizzi Dizzy? Yeah.
20:12 Travis McElroy? Eight people are bustin', bustin' up. Eight people are bustin' right now. Eight people are bustin' up! One of them's on this call. You got me. Yeah. I, uh, have been invited to, by a company to dinner to discuss a really cool project. It'd be amazing to be a part of. They are paying for the dinner. The thing is, my favorite item on the menu is quite expensive, and I don't want to seem like I'm taking advantage of the free meal. Additionally, I don't want to seem nervous by only ordering the cheap stuff. How can I find a perfect balance between seeming grateful of them paying while also being professional and cool? P.S. This is a charcuterie board restaurant. God, that's a helpful postscript. Thank you so much. That's from Troubled in the Treasured Valley.
20:53 Travis McElroy? The the charcuterie board restaurant edition is great because it gives the context of like, hmm, I'm looking at this board hmm with some meat. But you know what? I think I, oh, I kind of want the one with a lot of meat on it.
21:07 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. If you take someone somewhere where there is a $40 slice of Iberico ham on the menu, I don't think you can get upset when they spend the $40 on the single slice of Iberico ham.
21:18 Travis McElroy? There is no, I mean, here's what I'll say. There is no way that you will order the charcuterie board for yourself and it will stay for yourself.
21:27 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
21:28 Travis McElroy? Everybody's gonna want to have a polka prod.
21:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
21:31 Travis McElroy? So I would maybe lay it out like this. You know, I was thinking about the charcuterie, but do any of you guys like it? Because they bring so much.
21:38 Griffin McElroy? That is cool.
21:39 Travis McElroy? You guys are gonna have a little bit. It's not really worth getting. And then everyone will be like, oh, you should go for it. And then as soon as they bring it, you start giving them the looks like, what do you think I don't want?
21:49 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
21:50 Travis McElroy? Yeah, you start scooting, scoot just slowly sectioning.
21:53 Travis McElroy? Just take all the olives, putting all the olives at three o'clock.
21:57 Griffin McElroy? Take this single sad apricot.
22:00 Travis McElroy? You see him reaching for the honeycomb and you swat their hand away.
22:03 Travis McElroy? Nah, nah.
22:04 Travis McElroy? No.
22:04 Travis McElroy? Not that, boy, those olives are looking good though, huh? Look at that weird spicy jelly. Ooh, wouldn't you love to have some of that weird spicy jelly?
22:13 Travis McElroy? Wouldn't you love a fig?
22:15 Travis McElroy? A fig?
22:16 Travis McElroy? What about a fig? Maybe some prosciutto?
22:19 Travis McElroy? I don't like any charcuterie, so like honestly, I could name the whole thing.
22:22 Griffin McElroy? So wild.
22:23 Travis McElroy? I'll be like, don't take the one kind of cracker I like. Please, that's all I'm eating tonight. Why did we come here?
22:30 Travis McElroy? You could always do the like, oh, I'm torn, I'm torn between, I can't, I want this, but I don't know. And let them tell you to do it.
22:39 Griffin McElroy? Give them, they give you permission to get them.
22:41 Travis McElroy? That's the unspoken, right? Like if you take someone to dinner and they're like, oh, you know, I immediately, uh, you know, the, the porterhouse grabbed me. But I don't know, man, maybe I need like a, and they'll be like, oh, you should get it. And then. You're saying like, open, you're saying like, have an opening offer that's higher than settle back that like have an opening bid that's like way at the top.
23:07 Griffin McElroy? He was suggesting like, I want to get this, but I don't know and get, let them give you permission. I do like that move, Justin, though, of like, I'll take, um, should I get a hundred slices of the A5 Wagyu beef? Uh, nah, I'll just get this other still pretty expensive thing instead.
23:23 Travis McElroy? But they have clarified it is the most expensive thing on the menu. That's tough. Oh, you could also point it out like it's a rare get like, oh, man, I can't believe they have this. Did you guys see they have this on the menu?
23:34 Griffin McElroy? Guys, holy shit. They have pate here. We gotta, they don't just make this anywhere, man.
23:39 Travis McElroy? They sell it by the pounds? That's wild.
23:41 Griffin McElroy? A pound of pate from, just for me? Damn.
23:45 Travis McElroy? I've never had it. My grandfather used to talk about it all the time. I've never seen it on your menu. He used to, he said he loved it more than my grandmama. And then let them say it. Let's all try it.
23:55 Griffin McElroy? We, we pretty famously have been pretty hot on charcuterie in recent years. And I just want to update sort of my feelings about it publicly.
24:06 Travis McElroy? I bet everyone was wondering.
24:07 Griffin McElroy? I think though, I really feel like the worm has turned for me on charcuterie. I no longer know, I no longer know where it fits into a meal. Um, I no longer know, I don't understand how to effortlessly slide it in between a salad course and, um, you know, the sandwich that I ordered, just in the face you're making right now.
24:30 Travis McElroy? No, I think it's interesting because, uh, we have had a pivot in my house to where the only thing Sydney eats is charcuterie.
24:37 Griffin McElroy? So that's interesting. I noticed that while we were there.
24:40 Travis McElroy? Did you notice that?
24:41 Griffin McElroy? I noticed you put out a charcuterie board while we were there and I was like, that's crazy.
24:45 Travis McElroy? And I just keep a charcuterie board out for pretty much all the time. And she's a lot, a lot happier, I will say, as long as I have some charcute within reach. I'll go right down the middle and say that I'm now at a place where the problem is, I don't know what's coming. I order, it used to be you order a charcuterie at a restaurant, you're getting a fancy board. Now they say like charcuterie and it comes and it's just like a grown up lunchable.
25:07 Griffin McElroy? It's a pizza.
25:08 Travis McElroy? Yeah, sometimes you're at a restaurant and your brother orders charcuterie as an appetizer and then it comes and it's 80 different types of bad pickles and then everyone's sad. Some people like pickles and olives and funky pickles. Okay. The cheese. What are you trying to prove with that funky cheese, everybody? Come on. That's the part that makes me feel like I'm right. It pairs with things. The old jock strap. I know, but like. You eat the funky pickle, you eat the stinky cheese with the honeycomb. Right, but here's what I'm saying, if you can accept, people give me a hard time for the raw cheese thing, right? But if you look way down at the other end of the tunnel. Yeah.
25:49 Travis McElroy? You see people eating some funky cheese, like some really truly decrepit shit. That that would really turn a lot of, you know that if you go way down the pipeline, it gets funky and bad, right? Can we agree this? Yeah, but Justin. I don't do, let him finish, let him finish. If we know that the end of the tunnel is sin. Yeah. Is distance from that sin not a virtue? Wow. Wow, Justin. That's cool, man. Powerful, powerful. Let me tell you how I live my life, Justin. I think that I would be a person who would just absolutely went ham for cocaine. But I don't do cocaine, it would be very bad for me, right?
26:34 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man, we've all had that thought of like, oh. It would be a huge brand shift. Yes, it would be huge for any of us, it would be so, so bad. A, a brief golden era for my brother, my brother and me, to be sure, but, but. So brief. We would never, we would never. Must make this clear, we would never, not our, not our thing, not our brand. It would be a killer, I mean, six, we're like, killer material. Episodes, whoa. Whoa.
27:05 Travis McElroy? But the problem is, Justin, I don't do that.
27:07 Griffin McElroy? It would be unlistenable.
27:09 Travis McElroy? No, unlistenable. If you would have to play it at .75 speed to understand a word we were saying.
27:16 Griffin McElroy? We would interrupt each other so much that there would be four voices talking at once sometimes. It would be, we would be Thruvian throat singing to interrupt each other.
27:27 Travis McElroy? Me and the rest of the ghost hunters have isolated this one. This one man is just yelling about horses. Who is this man?
27:35 Travis McElroy? But my point being, yeah, I can't live a fully clean lifestyle. I know, I don't have that kind of self-control. So I must do things like eat funky stinky cheese.
27:46 Griffin McElroy? They should let the evil to, to deal with your passenger.
27:49 Travis McElroy? To let that dog out. You know what I mean?
27:53 Griffin McElroy? I would be less worried about ordering a too expensive charcuterie board and way more stressed out about properly eating it. And doing all the right combos and all the right pairings and, um, you know, not focus. Sometimes you go too hard on like one of the meat types and you fully, fully finish it before anyone's touched the other meats. And you feel so self-conscious about that.
28:18 Travis McElroy? Yes. That's why you have to shuffle it together like a big sandwich like they do in Scooby Doo or Dagwood.
28:22 Griffin McElroy? Well, make them do that for me. Let, make the restaurant to, bring it to, bring me a charcuterie board that you've done like nachos.
28:30 Travis McElroy? That's nachos, though.
28:32 Travis McElroy? That's nachos.
28:33 Travis McElroy? What they should do is bring it to you laid out like Candy Land where you follow the path, adding the pieces together as you go. You get a line of stuff organized in a way of just like, yeah, just keep going down the line, eating these together.
28:45 Griffin McElroy? Give it to me on like a ski, a long.
28:48 Travis McElroy? Yeah, a luge, a charcuterie luge.
28:50 Griffin McElroy? A char, a char, charlousery. And I will shoot it down like I'm at a, like I'm at a frat party.
28:57 Travis McElroy? Give me an illusery charcusery.
28:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, man, just for me. We need to go to the, should we go to the money zone?
29:04 Travis McElroy? Yeah, let's go to the money zone.
29:15 Travis McElroy? Squarespace is completely unaffiliated with anything we were just talking about. I cannot stress that enough. They have nothing to do with anything that might have happened previously.
29:25 Griffin McElroy? It actually says here, first thing in the ad.
29:26 Travis McElroy? Sorry, guys, that was pre-recorded. That's a pre-recorded thing we play before every Squarespace ad. They've asked us to start including that before.
29:35 Griffin McElroy? They asked, do you guys?
29:36 Travis McElroy? Hi, I'm Justin McElroy, a paid professional endorser for Squarespace.
29:40 Griffin McElroy? They were like, do you guys do pre-roll so we stop coming in hot on the heels of your fully-throated cocaine endorsement?
29:48 Travis McElroy? Here's what I'll say about, can I say something serious about Squarespace? They are probably our longest advertiser. They've been with us the longest.
29:54 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
29:54 Travis McElroy? And here's what I'll say about Squarespace. A lot of companies will tell you what they want you to say. And we've been working with Squarespace so long that I shit you not, it's just a big list of don'ts.
30:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
30:05 Travis McElroy? Like, we don't, they don't have something they want us to do. It's just a big list of things they don't want us to do. And that's great. This might be a fit for us. It's a bit of a niche reference, but I think they're like the Oliver Platt to our bear restaurant. Like, they're our uncle who shows up like, guys, you know, I love you. You know, I love you. You've gotta stop. You got to. Listen, what they do do is they make it really easy to build a website.
30:27 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
30:27 Travis McElroy? And, you know, I would even say, kind of fun, if you wanted to make a little project, a little micro thing, just to entertain yourself, get a dream going, just something to noodle with an idea you've had, a website is a great place to start, if only just like to organize your thoughts. I've used Squarespace to build websites for a few different things, and I have had a really enjoyable time making the site. And they have these templates that are made by people who really know what they're doing. You pull those in, you pull in your own photos, your own texts, you can sell your own stuff, you can do whatever you would like with a Squarespace website. It's really powerful, even though it's really easy to make. So, head to Squarespace.com/MyBrother for a free trial.
31:10 Travis McElroy? And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
31:17 Travis McElroy? If there's one thing about me that everyone knows is that I am financially responsible.
31:21 Griffin McElroy? You are not. That is why you need to use Rocket Money.
31:24 Travis McElroy? No, I am now because I use Rocket Money.
31:27 Griffin McElroy? That's interesting. That's a really positive. That's, I guess, using Rocket Money does make you fiscally responsible, but also Rocket Money is the thing you use when you are not particularly fiscally responsible. Cause they handle a lot of the heavy lifting.
31:39 Travis McElroy? Yeah, but if I got a bionic enhancement to make my arms stronger, Griffin, I would say, I'm strong now. You wouldn't be like, no, your bionic enhancement is strong.
31:48 Griffin McElroy? That's a good point, Travis.
31:49 Travis McElroy? Rocket Money is a bionic enhancement for fiscal responsibility.
31:53 Griffin McElroy? It's a bionic enhancement. It's an implant in your brain that says like, hey, you forgot to unsubscribe to Super Slime Maker 3D free, free light version. The subscription you did.
32:05 Travis McElroy? Adults only.
32:06 Griffin McElroy? Adults only. And it was like three day free trial and you're like, I'll remember. And you don't fucking remember. And then you've been paying $69.99 a month for free Slime Maker light version. Um, Rocket Money is an implant in your brain that says, hey, cut that out. Start saving lots of money. I genuinely have used it so many times that every time, genuinely every time, it's caught some shit. Whether it's an MMORPG I haven't played in a year and a half, or, uh, most of the time though, it is slime apps for the kids.
32:35 Travis McElroy? Yeah. And you know, the good thing about Rocket Money is they don't tell your friends. They don't tell your friends if you do dumb stuff. That's not part of the service.
32:43 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
32:43 Travis McElroy? Very discreet.
32:44 Griffin McElroy? They've got, they've got five million members who've saved over a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions. Members saving, uh, up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash mybrother today. That's rocketmoney.com slash mybrother. Rocketmoney.com slash mybrother.
33:06 Travis McElroy? Rocket Money. Elite, discreet, so sweet.
33:10 Griffin McElroy? That's gotta be a tagline for something else.
33:14 Travis McElroy? That's probably true. Yeah.
33:15 Griffin McElroy? That they maybe don't wanna take.
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33:27 Speaker 04 No, I'm sorry, no sales calls, goodbye.
33:28 Speaker 05 It's a multi-award winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.
33:33 Speaker 04 I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old, she's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones, I don't want to have to carry you home again, do I?
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33:53 Speaker 04 Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.
33:59 Speaker 05 Simply go to MaximumFun.org.
34:02 Speaker 04 I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat!
34:08 Speaker 06 Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramore comes in. We're a pop culture podcast, taking a funny look at the common and sometimes very uncommon things black people love. From asking why so many black kids were secretly emo, to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint: she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited, no matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.
34:53 Travis McElroy? I recently drove past a local barber shop and noticed something cool. The barber shop has an original Donkey Kong arcade machine, a good old classic. I want nothing more than to get my hands on that arcade machine, just to play a few rounds and maybe even get on that high scoreboard. However, I am bald. I do not need haircuts, and I do not need beard management. How does a bald man with a well-kept beard get into a barber shop to play some Donkey Kong? That's from Desperate Kong.
35:22 Travis McElroy? Well, there's always massage, but what's the problem with that? Maybe your barber doesn't do massage. And if you ask a barber that doesn't do massage for a massage?
35:33 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
35:34 Travis McElroy? I think you'll be escorted from the premise.
35:36 Griffin McElroy? Sometime, sometime I'll be on YouTube and the algo will be like, I got some new ASMR stuff for you. It is an elderly man on the streets of Pakistan and he is doing this to a guy.
35:52 Travis McElroy? Oh, yeah.
35:53 Griffin McElroy? Fucking slapping the shit out of his head and
35:55 Travis McElroy? Slapping his head.
35:56 Griffin McElroy? Grabbing his ears and just fucking pulling his ears as hard as he can. And you see it and you're like, that looks chill, actually. I don't, I don't know where one can request that particular. I don't think you can go to your, your normal everyday cutter of hair and say like slap my fucking scalp 20 times and pull my ears till they make noise.
36:18 Travis McElroy? Well, what you have to do is when the barber says, what are we doing today? You pull up that full video and say this?
36:23 Griffin McElroy? Video and you say, you're gonna jerk my neck to the side so hard. I'm gonna go limp for a minute and a half. That's what you're gonna do. And also I'm thinking like a size four guard clippers around the sides and fade it up into the top, please. Thank you.
36:39 Travis McElroy? I feel like if I'm reading between the lines here, there's something this person is not saying to us. Okay. So they want to go in and look at the donkey card arcade machine.
36:48 Griffin McElroy? And they say, play, play.
36:49 Travis McElroy? They want to say, like, if they were to go in and say, hey, I'm a big fan. You, you care if I play a few rounds? They'd be like, did you bring quarters? Like, absolutely. That's a profit center for us. Thank you so much. That's not what this, it's the part where he says, and maybe get on a high scoreboard. Uh oh, wait a minute, how long? Maybe you're gonna be there a little while, huh, pal? Maybe it's not just you want to go in and play a few rounds. Maybe they're gonna have to start explaining to people why the bald man in the corner keeps shouting fuck every 30 seconds.
37:19 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, this is not a, this is not a, you're saying that you're looking for a new home for your hobby.
37:27 Travis McElroy? Yes, right. This is not a casual, this is not someone who wants to duck in. Cause you, it is not odd to go in and play a few rounds. It is odd to be like, well, we're closing up shop for the day, sir. Did you need something?
37:39 Travis McElroy? What time do you open tomorrow? You could get your eyebrows shaped.
37:43 Griffin McElroy? I love a good eyebrow shaping.
37:45 Travis McElroy? Say like hey.
37:46 Travis McElroy? They polish. You can get polishing services, right?
37:48 Griffin McElroy? They do all kinds of stuff there, man.
37:50 Travis McElroy? Maybe start going in with different designs of beards from the Hunger Games movies. And just like, give me one of these.
37:57 Griffin McElroy? That's good.
37:58 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
37:59 Travis McElroy? Could you go in, listen? Could you go in when it's busy? Really busy? With a toupee, okay? And you put your name in, okay?
38:10 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
38:11 Travis McElroy? And then there's like a long wait, right?
38:14 Griffin McElroy? Uh huh.
38:14 Travis McElroy? So you're just kicking it, playing all the con you want.
38:18 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
38:19 Travis McElroy? And then they say your name and you got a choice. At that point, you can A, let them cut your toupee.
38:25 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
38:26 Travis McElroy? I don't think that's a good idea. They're gonna be, that, you could throw the toupee on the ground, say never again.
38:31 Griffin McElroy? Say gotcha.
38:31 Travis McElroy? Bust out the door.
38:32 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
38:32 Travis McElroy? But then you got you. Grab your toupee like you're really mad at the long wait.
38:38 Griffin McElroy? Pull your own hair out.
38:40 Travis McElroy? Oh, you could do that. Get Huffy, be like, I'll come back when you're less busy.
38:44 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that's cool.
38:46 Travis McElroy? That's the voice you have.
38:47 Griffin McElroy? And they'll be like, we're ready for you now. And it's like.
38:49 Travis McElroy? And it's the principal. And then you start throwing barrels.
38:53 Travis McElroy? I have to get back to my wife's office.
38:55 Griffin McElroy? What do you do?
38:56 Travis McElroy? Lunch in my trunk.
38:57 Griffin McElroy? What, I gotta ask you, you're on the run of your life. You're about to hit that fucking Billy Mitchell kill screen. You are about to make history and then they call, and then they call your name. You can't be like.
39:09 Travis McElroy? Just shut up.
39:12 Griffin McElroy? Shut up. I need an hour and a half. I'm getting so close to Billy Mitchell's kill screen.
39:17 Travis McElroy? Now, hold on, wait. If no one clocked you, write your name down. If no one clocked that. And when they call your name, you can just look around like, huh, nobody? Okay.
39:28 Griffin McElroy? Weird.
39:28 Travis McElroy? It says, uh, Mr. Conkey Dong? Is there a Mr. Conkey Dong here?
39:33 Travis McElroy? And then as, like about 45 minutes in, maybe you start giving like perfunctory like. Huh, oh man, so wait's really getting out of hand.
39:41 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
39:42 Travis McElroy? Hey, do you guys think?
39:44 Travis McElroy? On the opposite end of this question, if, when you own a barber shop and you think about getting a Donkey Kong arcade game, that you have like this conversation on the other side with anyone else that you're like, okay, but here's my one concern if we get the game.
39:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
40:00 Travis McElroy? That someone's gonna come in, they're bald, neatly trimmed beard, they're gonna wanna play the game for hours. What do we do then?
40:08 Griffin McElroy? I mean, my bigger concern as a stylist at this salon would be that I don't wanna hear every 20 seconds.
40:18 Griffin McElroy? I don't wanna hear.
40:21 Griffin McElroy? I don't wanna hear that fucking a million billion times a day while I'm just trying to do my craft.
40:26 Travis McElroy? That's a very, that's a good point, actually. It must make a lot of money, cuz otherwise it's the novelty.
40:31 Griffin McElroy? I love this man. I love this big gorilla. I love Mario and I love the way he jumps. That's not the golden era for hearable sounds. And so I don't want that. And give me a, now listen.
40:48 Griffin McElroy? Fucking ripped, man. They had a Daytona USA machine at Huntington High School and you could hear that shit from the cafeteria and it was such a cool learning environment.
40:59 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that, yeah, just when you thought the, the wait for lunch couldn't be anywhere intolerable, you got the siren song.
41:07 Griffin McElroy? And also, there was a loose ground wire on the machine, so if you touched the right bolt on it, it would electrocute you, which was also a lot of fun when you were bored at lunchtime and you didn't have quarters.
41:18 Travis McElroy? Let's go away.
41:23 Griffin McElroy? Oh, that was effortless.
41:29 Travis McElroy? I wanna munch.
41:38 Travis McElroy? Welcome to Munch Squad, podcast of the podcast, profiling latest and greatest in brand eating. Today I have kind of a, an A, B testing thing for you guys. I do a lot, we do a lot of upbeat, feel-good stories on the Munch Squad and I would just. Uh, yeah, that's mainly what we do here. It's a feel-good thing. And I just wanted to share with you guys two stories. And I would love to know which one makes you feel the worst.
42:04 Griffin McElroy? Awesome.
42:05 Travis McElroy? Both emotionally, physically, which one makes you feel worse? Great.
42:09 Travis McElroy? I should warn you, Justin, this is one of my biggest anxiety triggers, like when I'm at the optometrist and they're like one or two, where I start second guessing myself so hard every time.
42:20 Griffin McElroy? I don't think this is gonna be like that.
42:22 Travis McElroy? Let me say this, it's a loose structure.
42:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
42:23 Travis McElroy? About that, not really that important.
42:25 Travis McElroy? But this isn't gonna change the way I see forever or whatever, or if I get it wrong?
42:29 Griffin McElroy? You're not gonna get this question wrong and then have headaches forever.
42:31 Travis McElroy? Okay, cool, man.
42:32 Griffin McElroy? It is a high stakes game, Travis. As a fellow glasses.
42:34 Travis McElroy? First up, can you guys see?
42:35 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:36 Travis McElroy? Smoothie King introduces new Fiber Maxing Smoothie to support wellness goals. Look at this, guys. Just see, this, how would you describe the shake that you're looking at right now?
42:50 Griffin McElroy? I would describe, I would describe it
42:52 Travis McElroy? It's a lossful!
42:53 Griffin McElroy? As a Grimace Shake that has been whipped to stiff peaks.
42:57 Travis McElroy? Yeah, a Grimace Shake who decided to like, now that Debbie's left me, I'm gonna get back, I'm gonna get a body that makes Debbie sad that she loves me.
43:07 Travis McElroy? There's a measuring cup in front of it with something that's supposed to stand in for, I guess,
43:12 Griffin McElroy? Fiber.
43:13 Travis McElroy? Pure psyllium husk fiber, fiber. And then if that is at scale, the cup behind it is roughly two feet tall.
43:20 Griffin McElroy? Yes. Yeah, you'll be maxing your fiber for sure.
43:24 Travis McElroy? What's great too is on, on this page, they have in that image four blueberries and what looks to be a gallon of fiber. As if to say like, we wanna let you know what you're gonna be tasting when you drink this drink. It's gonna be like a fiber factory that looked at some blueberries earlier. Enjoy.
43:43 Travis McElroy? Prepare for a really sinister adjective in this opener. Smoothie King announced the launch of its new Fiber Maxing Smoothie. A functional offering designed to support gut health and meet the growing demand for the wellness-forward food choices. It's a fu- hey, guys, this is a functional. Offering.
44:04 Travis McElroy? This is an offering that does something.
44:07 Griffin McElroy? You're not getting it for the flavor. You're not getting it for the mouth feel.
44:11 Travis McElroy? Right. This is a you. This is a you. This is a hardware store. Now you buy this to do something. This is as a as an active food.
44:19 Travis McElroy? Am I? Can I ask you guys, does it bother you as much as it's bothering me that there's only two X's in fiber maxing?
44:26 Griffin McElroy? It does feel like they've taken a middle.
44:28 Travis McElroy? If you do three, it's porno.
44:30 Travis McElroy? Yes, but.
44:30 Griffin McElroy? If you do one, it's not.
44:32 Travis McElroy? Would it be amazing at that point? Like, I just feel like it should be one X.
44:36 Travis McElroy? Intentionally increase, uh, inspired by the rising wellness trend of fiber maxing, intentionally increasing daily fiber intake to reach the recommended 25 to 38 grams per day.
44:47 Travis McElroy? For the powerful shit.
44:49 Travis McElroy? I guess. Yeah. Uh, the fiber maxing smoothie delivers a powerful 16 grams of fiber in 20 ounce serving, providing over half the recommended daily.
44:59 Griffin McElroy? You're telling me I gotta drink two of these fucking things to even make it work anymore, dude?
45:04 Travis McElroy? Can you imagine drinking one of these and be like, nope, didn't quite hit my fiber goals for the day? Hey, I'm just throwing this out. Do you think it's possible that when people are like, hey, here's the daily goal of fiber and everyone's like, I have to work so hard to hit that?
45:20 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
45:20 Travis McElroy? Maybe it's not a reasonable goal.
45:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Yeah. I've been banging this drum for a while, Trav. If you put the correct amount of Metamucil in there, it becomes a sort of citric oatmeal and it's not, it's no good.
45:35 Travis McElroy? If in order to get the amount of fiber my body needs, I have to do something called fiber maxing? I have a real issue with the whole process.
45:46 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Uh, okay. So, uh, just lastly, uh, some ingredients. It's crafted with a nutrient blend, uh, of wild blueberries, peanut butter, dates, bananas, almonds, organic spinach.
45:58 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
45:58 Travis McElroy? And I guess they can afford to use wild blueberries if they're only doing four, they just go out back and grab them whenever they make one of these guys.
46:05 Travis McElroy? They do throw it, throw in at the end of that list of ingredients, added fiber.
46:09 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
46:10 Travis McElroy? Yeah. No kidding, man.
46:13 Travis McElroy? Yeah. The smoothie is lightly sweetened with plant-based stevia for a naturally delicious taste. Hey, why don't you go ahead and use a heavy hand on that? Like, you know what I mean? Like, how about you not? We got a lot of fiber to mask, right? How about we go ahead and?
46:25 Travis McElroy? You gave me a chunky, salty drink. How about you give me plenty of sugar in there?
46:31 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
46:31 Travis McElroy? You've given me like the Mississippi Delta of drinks.
46:35 Griffin McElroy? Purple coal slurry. Yum, yum, yum, yum.
46:37 Travis McElroy? And now it's time, now it's a la- next up for the B segment. I have a donut story that was too sad to tell Count Donut about.
46:47 Griffin McElroy? Oh, good.
46:49 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Krispy Kreme invites fans to experience a taste of the sweet life with all new Passport to Italy Donuts.
46:59 Travis McElroy? Huh? Cool.
47:02 Travis McElroy? Hang in there, guys. Krispy Kreme is helping fans transport to La Dolce Vita this summer.
47:11 Travis McElroy? Fuck!
47:13 Travis McElroy? I told myself I'm gonna do this because I feel like I'm putting my hand on the scale. To La Dolce Vita this summer with its all new Passport to Italy Collection, a sweet escape to Italy's vibrant desserts and culture.
47:24 Griffin McElroy? And culture, huh? You're getting the culture in there.
47:26 Travis McElroy? And the culture of Italy so much.
47:27 Griffin McElroy? The culture up in there, cool, cool, cool.
47:29 Travis McElroy? They said culture. And they said, they wrote it.
47:33 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
47:33 Travis McElroy? You know?
47:34 Travis McElroy? What it, they should have put that in quotes.
47:37 Travis McElroy? Culture. Available beginning today for a limited time at participating Krispy Kreme shops across the US. Krispy Kreme's Passport to Italy Collection features three of Italy's most iconic desserts reimagined as irresistible donuts. Including the cannoli-inspired donut.
47:57 Travis McElroy? It's an unglazed ringed donut, half dipped in chocolate icing and cookie crunch, dusted with powdered coating and topped with cannoli flavored buttercream dollop.
48:06 Griffin McElroy? That's cool.
48:07 Travis McElroy? I'm, I'm looking at these, there are places all over.
48:11 Griffin McElroy? How are you looking at these? Because Justin didn't give us a picture. Did you search these?
48:14 Travis McElroy? No, I'm looking at the list of them. I'm saying that there are places all over the US of A where you can buy a cannoli.
48:22 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
48:23 Travis McElroy? Where you can buy a tiramisu.
48:26 Griffin McElroy? Right.
48:26 Travis McElroy? These are not unreachable. Like, these are not unattainable flavors.
48:31 Griffin McElroy? Maybe those places can give you the cuisine of Italy, Travis.
48:35 Travis McElroy? Right, but are they giving you the culture?
48:37 Griffin McElroy? It's about the culture.
48:39 Travis McElroy? Holy shit, one of these donuts has a little Italy flag on it and that's maybe.
48:42 Griffin McElroy? I asked you not to get ahead of me.
48:44 Travis McElroy? Okay, thank you, sorry.
48:46 Travis McElroy? The Lamone Delight Donut, an unglazed shell donut filled with lemon delight flavored cream, cream dipped in zesty lemon flavored icing and topped with candied lemon.
48:58 Griffin McElroy? Fucking wood. Yes.
48:59 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Tiramisu inspired donuts and unglazed shell donut filled with tiramisu flavored cream topped with sweet buttercream dusted with cocoa.
49:07 Griffin McElroy? I mean, these all sound pretty fucking good, actually.
49:09 Travis McElroy? Of course they do. They're pre-existing desserts that are great. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, this quote, "This summer Krispy Kreme is transporting you to Italy Sweet Life. No passport required," said not Dave Skinner, but Allison Holder, Krispy Kreme Chief Brand and Product Officer. They wouldn't even get Dave out of storage for this one.
49:34 Griffin McElroy? They only get Dave out for the nasty shit.
49:36 Travis McElroy? Wouldn't it be wild if a passport was required?
49:45 Travis McElroy? Pre if you've been to Italy, because otherwise these flavors. Yeah, of course. Just scan your passport face down, right there on the glass. Yeah. Oh, you've never been to Italy? Sure, I'll sell you this tiramisu inspired donut if you want to go fucking insane.
50:05 Griffin McElroy? Your mouth couldn't handle this without the correct documentation.
50:08 Travis McElroy? You'll spit it on the ground. Oh, sorry. She continues, "There's a taste of Italy's sweetest dessert traditions in every bite of our Passport to Italy Donuts, from tiramisu to cannoli to lemon dipped, dusted, and drizzled to perfection."
50:26 Griffin McElroy? The commercial is this. A customer walks up to the counter, buys a box of these Passport to Italy donuts, goes to lift it to their mouth. Fucking a haggard Diane Lane runs up and slaps it out of their hand and says, "You're not, you're not fucking ready for this shit. Unless you've walked beneath that Tuscan sun, you, you can't even fathom the depths of these flavors."
50:48 Travis McElroy? I'm picturing Justin, one of our listeners, who turns out to be like a big head honcho in Italy, listening to this segment right now with their hand hovering over a big button that just says "War."
51:01 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
51:03 Travis McElroy? Well, this is, uh, these are out now. You can buy them off Krispy Kreme's app or website individually and by the dozen.
51:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. One of the two products that you brought today, Juice, would put me in the bathroom for two calendar days.
51:18 Travis McElroy? Griffin's been fiber minning his whole life. He's not ready.
51:24 Griffin McElroy? I've actually made a pledge by 2027 to be perfectly fiber neutral. Um, and I hope that, I hope you two will consider joining me.
51:32 Travis McElroy? Yeah, actually, for, for every amount of fiber, I go over the limit. Griffin actually gets, um, a certificate that lets him go under and it bounces out and backwards and forward.
51:43 Griffin McElroy? I produce 10 times more fiber than I consume.
51:46 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
51:47 Travis McElroy? Guys, do you want to know the worst thing about me? And I know everybody is always too hard on themselves, I guess, and I'm no exception, but the worst thing about me, well, it's top 20, is, uh, I'm sitting here thinking like,
52:01 Travis McElroy? maybe not enough fiber is the problem. You know what I mean? Like, I'm sitting here thinking like,
52:05 Griffin McElroy? Sure.
52:06 Travis McElroy? maybe I should be getting more fiber. You know, like, we're all having a lot of fun here, but I'm sitting here, like, in my head, there's, like, most of it show, and then there's, like, 10% that's like,
52:14 Griffin McElroy? I hate when that 10% is like,
52:15 Travis McElroy? 30 grams of fiber?
52:17 Travis McElroy? That's called capitalism, where you've been programmed, you've been programmed to think that buying something will make you feel better.
52:24 Griffin McElroy? Well, yeah, it's, I think fiber is a big capital.
52:26 Travis McElroy? That's what, that's why we do it, though, right? That's what the whole,
52:29 Travis McElroy? That's why they up, they keep upping the fiber, sell us the fiber, big fibers out here.
52:34 Griffin McElroy? Juice, can I invite you to come with me on my journey of self-discovery to learn what makes your body tick by covering your back with 78 really annoying little stickers? And then one of them will come off and they'll be like, yeah, man, it's your potassium levels. And then you take a potassium supplement and then you're back at fucking 100%.
52:53 Travis McElroy? Wait, you could do that? Cause that's all I want. When you see in like a sci-fi movie and someone gets scanned and they're like, we've scanned everything.
53:00 Griffin McElroy? We don't have that technology, you know? We do have 78 stickers to let you know which detergents you shouldn't use. Don't mind if I do.
53:06 Travis McElroy? If I get this test done, I assume I am legally required to tell my brothers during a podcast recording about it.
53:12 Travis McElroy? Correct. Just like a vasectomy. It's vasectomy and stickers.
53:16 Griffin McElroy? Anytime any of us gets any kind of biomods, any kind of synth hacks, any kind of Augs, uh, I do think we should be transparent about it with each other and our listeners.
53:29 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I, uh, okay. Well, then, fine. Just before we close here, um, my hemorrhoids got so bad that I went to get medicine. And then when I picked up the medicine, they said they're a dollar a piece. Do you want all 10?
53:48 Travis McElroy? Huh?
53:48 Travis McElroy? And I said, yeah, sure. Right? So then I got home and I looked at the shape of the medicine. And then I realized that it wasn't mouth medicine.
53:57 Travis McElroy? Oh.
53:58 Travis McElroy? And, and ever since then, I real, ever since I got that container, I've spent most of my time just kind of like slowly walking around and looking at the distance contemplatively, trying to weigh the various costs. You know what I mean? Like thinking about how much relief is worth to me.
54:12 Travis McElroy? Not the cost of a dollar a pill.
54:15 Travis McElroy? No.
54:15 Travis McElroy? For the cost of a dollar a pill. We could put a suppository in Justin's butt. With your support in the Max Fun Drive, we could put a suppository for just a dollar a day.
54:27 Travis McElroy? That's why, that's why the thing my kids have heard me say the most this week of, has been, ah, nothing, sweetie, just thinking.
54:39 Travis McElroy? Was I crying, babe? Hold on. Let me dry those tears, baby. No, I, it's just allergies. Yeah, Uncle Griffin did. All, all 78 turn red, babe. That's what they told.
54:48 Travis McElroy? He's allergic to everything. It turns out all of his allergies have been like awkwardly leaning against each other to hold him up this whole time. A mesh, a mesh of allergies.
54:59 Travis McElroy? Thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. We really appreciate you. Every week come in to listen to us and hang out with us and we hope you have fun.
55:08 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man.
55:09 Travis McElroy? Thanks. Thanks.
55:10 Travis McElroy? Hey, can I tell you, I'm very excited. Coming up, we're going to be in Atlanta for Dragon Con, which I'm excited about because I love Dragon Con, and we're going to be doing live shows there, doing my brother, my brother and me and Adventure Zone versus Popeye at our Adventure Zone live show. Um, I predict might be our stupidest Adventure Zone versus live show yet. You can't even possibly predict that. They've all been pretty silly. I'm just saying everyone should be there because it's gonna be something. It's gonna be something.
55:44 Griffin McElroy? How do I get tickets to those, to that show in the Bim Bam? And also the shows we have coming up in Texas, Utah and California? Travis?
55:51 Travis McElroy? Griffin, you don't have to get tickets.
55:53 Griffin McElroy? Spit.ly/macaroytours, you are too slow. We have merch up at the merch store over at macaroymerch.com. I'm talking about a keep your grades up pin and the flaming, not poisoning raging tea of doom, which are back in stock. That's fucking amazing news. This tea is so fantastic, guys. The pin is wonderful, too, but I drank buckets of this stuff and it's a yummy way to wind down at the end of the day.
56:20 Travis McElroy? Also, I want to let you know we're doing a back to school sale with select items up to 40% off and we have three different back to school bundles that are on sale. So go check those out and you get a free mystery pin with purchase of $30 or more with 10% of all merch proceeds to this month going to World Central Kitchen.
56:36 Griffin McElroy? So again, that's macaroymerch.com. And thanks to Montane for these for a theme song, "My Life Is Better With You." Check out Montane's new album, It's Hard To Be A Fish. If you like good music that makes you feel good and feel cool listening to it.
56:51 Travis McElroy? Hey, Justin, would you read our fear this week?
56:54 Travis McElroy? I'd be happy to. This year, I will be faster than my fear of the Goodyear blimps.
56:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
57:00 Travis McElroy? To the point. I'm Justin McElroy.
57:02 Travis McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy.
57:03 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin McElroy.
57:04 Travis McElroy? Just be my brother, my brother, may kiss your dad. Square on the left.
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