MBMBaM 829: Content Basement

Take it from us, some dads – sometimes you need Dad Topics at the ready. If you ever encounter a Dad Conversation in the wild, try talking about fried pies, or the latest superhero-adjacent prestige television drama! If all else fails, you can always fall back on legally distinct tequilas. Suggested talking points: Sometimes Magic is Stinky, Friday Night Lights Nights, Plato's Dong Shot, The Competence Divot Midwest Food Bank: https://midwestfoodbank.org/disaster-relief/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 0:21Speaker 01

  It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapid into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  My life, ah, it's better with you.

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody. Welcome to my brother, my brother, me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

• 1:17Travis McElroy?

  What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother Travis, Big Dog Wolf, Wolf Room from the heater, award-winning McElroy.

• 1:22Griffin McElroy?

  What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother, Griffin, 30 under 30 media luminary McElroy.

• 1:28Travis McElroy?

  Uh, I will ask the question that has united children and their fathers all across this country. Are you watching lanterns?

• 1:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Hey, Dad. Hopefully not. This is my, this is mine to our dad, so you guys can't use this one.

• 1:42Travis McElroy?

  I used it at dinner last night.

• 1:43Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, Dad, watching lanterns?

• 1:44Travis McElroy?

  I used it at dinner last night. I said, Dad, you watching lanterns?

• 1:47Travis McElroy?

  Now, hopefully, Justin, when you say children of their fathers, you don't mean like child children. You just mean ostriches.

• 1:55Travis McElroy?

  I just mean like, if you need something to talk to your dad about, and you've already talked about Reacher, you could just ask about lanterns. Just be like, you watching lanterns?

• 2:04Travis McElroy?

  If, if BB came to me and said, Dad, are you watching lanterns? I'd be like, wait, are you watching lanterns? How are you watching lanterns?

• 2:12Griffin McElroy?

  You shouldn't be watching lanterns.

• 2:14Travis McElroy?

  You're nine years old, there's some strong language in there. And then in episode two, and listen, if you haven't watched lanterns, this isn't a spoiler, but in episode two, boom, full frontal corpse dong.

• 2:26Griffin McElroy?

  Full frontal corpse dong? Now, that's interesting, because that's, comic books are for kids. If memories, if, from what I understand.

• 2:34Travis McElroy?

  Everybody agrees.

• 2:35Griffin McElroy?

  They're kids' books, and they're funny books, and some of them's not so funny.

• 2:40Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 2:40Griffin McElroy?

  The Spider-Man 911 one, I did not think was super duper funny.

• 2:44Travis McElroy?

  And Spawn is like PG 13.

• 2:47Griffin McElroy?

  Spawn's pushing it, definitely. But when I turn on my show, and I'm like, fuck, yeah, we got Coach Taylor, we got Rebel Ridge, and they're up there and they're kicking ass. They're kicking ass together. I love all of that stuff. And then a, a dead dick on the screen? Yucky. What? Where? Why?

• 3:05Travis McElroy?

  Not even like a passing shot. It's like the focus of the shot, corpse dong.

• 3:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, because they have to get in there, and they're like, that's not a dick, it's an alien dick with, and it's, there's two rings inside there, and they have to get him out.

• 3:20Travis McElroy?

  Well, then they each, like, they each take turns being like, I think it looked like this, and recreating it with the ring, and they're like, no, it was more like this.

• 3:28Griffin McElroy?

  My five and nine-year-olds are sitting with me on the couch, I got an arm over all and we're having family bonding time, and they're like, what is that, Dad? And I have to be like, it's a, it's a dead body's private parts. Yuck, Coach Taylor, this how you do me? God damn.

• 3:45Travis McElroy?

  They did that, they found the secret to success with lanterns, and that is, he just, nobody ever does any kind of magic ring stuff. And that's a secret, that's the secret to the show, because you're like, you watch the whole show, you're like, somebody do something with a magic ring, but they tease you. It's just, it's.

• 4:02Travis McElroy?

  They do little things, they do little things enough that you're like, oh, that ring could do something.

• 4:07Travis McElroy?

  Something, and it's just, I've seen the ring used more to like, hold down papers and prop open doors at this point.

• 4:13Travis McElroy?

  Open a beer.

• 4:14Travis McElroy?

  Ironically, for like, close-up magic, for like, watch this ring, whoo, it's gone. I've seen that more times.

• 4:19Travis McElroy?

  Well, there is literally a moment where he creates a, a bottle opener, and he reacts like he's just done a great sleight of hand trick, where he's like, eh?

• 4:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, see? Look, Coach, Coach Taylor, inside, early edition, he can do anything. I'll watch that man do fucking anything up on my TV screen. Absolutely. I do wish that they would explain why they're not using the rings more, which is, if you read the comic books, you learn that the green stuff the rings make is stinky.

• 4:47Travis McElroy?

  Stinky as hell, dude.

• 4:49Griffin McElroy?

  It smells super duper duper bad. And they haven't even shown that, like, one shot of Rebel Ridge making like a, making a bubble around himself, and then being like, what's that fucking smell? Because they cuss a lot on the show. What's that fucking dick smell? And then Coach Taylor can be like, that's the bubble, that's the bubble.

• 5:07Travis McElroy?

  The bubble always makes this smell.

• 5:10Griffin McElroy?

  The bubble makes the green stink.

• 5:12Travis McElroy?

  Junior.

• 5:13Travis McElroy?

  The bubble always makes this smell.

• 5:15Griffin McElroy?

  It's green, because it's stinky.

• 5:16Travis McElroy?

  You don't like it because it's stinky? Oh, wow, grow up, Junior. What the fuck? Sometimes magic's stinky. What world do you live in where magic isn't stinky? Grow up.

• 5:26Travis McElroy?

  Every time he drops some sort of alien bullshit, my whole body shudders. Every time they make that guy say something like, I've been sore, it's just like, wah, delicious.

• 5:37Griffin McElroy?

  Kyle Chandler's, Kyle Chandler's too cool, watching him say nerd stuff. I do appreciate how much.

• 5:43Travis McElroy?

  I love it.

• 5:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, there's a lot of football that they ease you into in the pilot of Lanterns. I do appreciate that, where there's like, okay, I see, I see Coach Taylor on the field.

• 5:51Travis McElroy?

  He sits in the stands a lot, so you can like anger him. It's like if it came on after Friday Night Lights and you're already asleep, you wouldn't necessarily notice.

• 5:57Griffin McElroy?

  You wouldn't understand, like, what the fuck?

• 5:59Travis McElroy?

  Did I turn on like a different language all of a sudden?

• 6:02Travis McElroy?

  Because Taylor just iced that dog?

• 6:04Travis McElroy?

  Is that a dong?

• 6:05Griffin McElroy?

  Is that a dick on Friday?

• 6:07Travis McElroy?

  What? Dead man.

• 6:09Travis McElroy?

  This is Friday Night Lights Nights.

• 6:12Griffin McElroy?

  Friday Night Nights Nights.

• 6:15Travis McElroy?

  I would love to see, I hope they go into a backstory where you just see Kyle Chandler as Hal Jordan, like, on like, his second week of the job, and he's starting to feel like he's got a handle on it, and he's standing at like, Oa, and he's surrounded by actual alien green lanterns, and like, the guardians are saying some alien bullshit, and you just see Hal Jordan like, what are they, what are they talking about? What is this shit? What are you talking, what? They go, what? None of this makes any sense. I'm going home. I think it's a good show.

• 6:46Travis McElroy?

  I do feel like if they're gonna put warnings on TV shows, which I fully support.

• 6:52Griffin McElroy?

  Absolutely.

• 6:53Travis McElroy?

  They just have gotta be like, listen, if you have kids in the room, there's no reality, it wouldn't occur to you, just, I wouldn't even need it at the beginning of the episode.

• 7:04Travis McElroy?

  It said nudity at the beginning of the episode. I saw that, and I was like, whoa, okay, I wasn't expecting that.

• 7:09Travis McElroy?

  It's gonna be some alien butt. You're thinking alien butt.

• 7:12Griffin McElroy?

  You think it's gonna be alien butt for sure.

• 7:15Travis McElroy?

  And it's like, I know you said nudity, but you didn't say what it, in a way that would have been actionable and useful for me to brace for in any way.

• 7:28Griffin McElroy?

  I'm watching this show on my like, phone while eating my meals, and my kids will walk into the room where I'm doing it, and they will see it, and I need Kyle Chandler to come on before each episode and be like, all right, gang, in this one, we're talking about.

• 7:41Travis McElroy?

  Thank you for watching the show like it was meant to be watched on your phone.

• 7:44Griffin McElroy?

  On your phone, listen, we got a dead alien dick in this one. It happens at 3 minutes and 15 seconds. So just be on the lookout, keep your head on a swivel, clear eyes, full hearts.

• 7:54Travis McElroy?

  This is a great plane show. You know, this is the kind of show that once it's all out, you can take a drama meeting and just kind of vibe, and then all of a sudden, I'm in 3B, the guy in 3C's looking at alien dong, because I had no idea, and I didn't close my iPad fast enough, or maybe I went to the bathroom and left it playing, you know me.

• 8:12Griffin McElroy?

  And look, this isn't us taking a stance against televised penises.

• 8:18Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 8:19Griffin McElroy?

  Absolutely. Free the, free the, free the tippel is what I say about all of this business. I'm an equal opportunity employer, and it's time, but to be dead, and maybe an alien, I haven't watched this episode yet.

• 8:32Travis McElroy?

  It's the context that we need.

• 8:34Griffin McElroy?

  The context. This is comic books, you know? Deadpool's not getting his dick out, and he's the raunchiest dude in town, so like, lamp, I don't know, man, never.

• 8:45Travis McElroy?

  More corpse dong, so that we become like inoculated to it, you know what I mean?

• 8:51Griffin McElroy?

  So it's not a big deal.

• 8:52Travis McElroy?

  If Lanterns was like, every five minutes, full frontal corpse dong. Right now, I'm like, okay, I know exactly what kind of show this is, and by the time it happens, you know, like, the 10th time, I'm like, well, they couldn't make the show without the dong. It's structural, it's, this is a structural dong.

• 9:10Griffin McElroy?

  That is a thematic, dead alien penis, absolutely.

• 9:14Travis McElroy?

  They gotta have a flashback to it. At some point, it's gotta become narratively, like a structural dong.

• 9:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, if you remove the dong, the whole plot falls apart. You know what I mean? It's a weight-bearing dong.

• 9:27Griffin McElroy?

  The hero's journey ends and begins at the dong shot, the dong shot. Uh, that's, that's, I mean, Plato said that, I think he's the one who came up with it. Uh, he said that, like, gotta have the dong shot at the top and the bottom.

• 9:42Travis McElroy?

  I did think it was weird that not only did they not have Kyle Chandler's Hal Jordan react to it, but he said like, not again, and you're like, wait, how often has this happened in the Green Lantern, like, thing, right? And then you saw him make a little tally mark in a journal, and it looked like there were hundreds of them.

• 10:02Griffin McElroy?

  Hundreds of little marks, yeah. And some of them were bigger than others, the marks, and so you're like, what's that mean? Is that some sort of code?

• 10:12Travis McElroy?

  And it recharged the ring. When he saw the alien dong, it recharged the ring for him.

• 10:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I thought that was weird.

• 10:18Travis McElroy?

  That was a choice. I haven't read every issue of Green Lantern.

• 10:22Travis McElroy?

  Jon Stewart's like, do you hear a buzz? I hear a buzz from the ring area? Is there a buzz?

• 10:26Griffin McElroy?

  I thought it was weird when the ring ran out of juice, and he ran, and he took a little girl's ice cream cone, and he ate it, and then the ring was, got power back to kill Sinestro, and I was like, okay, taking a few liberties.

• 10:42Travis McElroy?

  And the whole scene at the Cirque du Soleil-esque show, and then he made a ring, he used the ring to make an electrified fork or something?

• 10:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, he used the ring to make a suitcase around himself that he rolled down a staircase.

• 10:55Travis McElroy?

  It was a strange choice.

• 10:56Griffin McElroy?

  Strange.

• 10:58Travis McElroy?

  The, in the first episode, he makes money with the ring and puts it in a jukebox, and I gotta say, even as a comic book fan, that's strange. Like this is optical.

• 11:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you know what?

• 11:10Travis McElroy?

  Device.

• 11:11Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck that.

• 11:12Travis McElroy?

  It's not.

• 11:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, if I put a creased, if I put a creased bill in one of these machines, it's like, no, that's not money.

• 11:17Travis McElroy?

  You're telling me. He good.

• 11:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, he's good, but that shit's glowing.

• 11:21Travis McElroy?

  Quarter, maybe quarter. Yeah, got free gum ball.

• 11:25Griffin McElroy?

  Fool it.

• 11:25Travis McElroy?

  Brightest day.

• 11:26Griffin McElroy?

  It's also.

• 11:27Travis McElroy?

  But not, not this, not this.

• 11:28Griffin McElroy?

  You don't got $5 on you? Also, use the ring to make your own jukebox that's free and has all your favorite music on it.

• 11:38Travis McElroy?

  It's a big green boombox. He just carries it around all the time. I wanna be your sledgehammer. You guys like this?

• 11:49Griffin McElroy?

  All I could think about.

• 11:49Travis McElroy?

  But it's all him singing because it's.

• 11:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, him singing. He can't for copyright reasons.

• 11:56Travis McElroy?

  I sell my tapes. They're $10. I'm beating hard up now.

• 12:06Griffin McElroy?

  The tapes are made out of my stinky green stuff. They will disintegrate as soon as I get out of line as a.

• 12:10Travis McElroy?

  It will disintegrate as soon as I stop thinking about it. I'm so sorry. But luckily, I never stopped thinking about my music.

• 12:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:18Travis McElroy?

  This is an advice show. We take your questions and turn them alchemy like into wisdom. This is our first question. I work in a tech support job at a public elementary school. I don't have my own desk or room. So I set up my laptop at a back table in the school library. It's a nice spot. But it's right next to the kids' activity table with a chessboard. Every day after story time, kids will go play chess or watch other kids play chess. And most days, there'll be at least one loud argument about the rules. And a lot of the time, everyone arguing is wrong. How do I get the kids to ask me what moves Bishop can make? Or how capturing pieces work instead of shouting at each other?

• 13:01Travis McElroy?

  From would be chess referee in CT.

• 13:04Griffin McElroy?

  Good.

• 13:05Travis McElroy?

  I believe that's connect I cut.

• 13:07Griffin McElroy?

  I think it is connect I cut. Look, there's a lot of source material, a lot of inspiration you can lean on here. I, I'm not like great at chess, you know, I'm like 1950, 2000 on a good day, yellow rating. But I think that everyone wants that moment of becoming the wizened, the wizened sort of chess maestro.

• 13:34Travis McElroy?

  The anime sensei type character who's suddenly like backlit and standing over the board. And at first you're like, who's this guy? And then he says something in like a low, quiet voice and you're like, oh my God.

• 13:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:47Travis McElroy?

  This guy knows his shit.

• 13:49Griffin McElroy?

  A Larry, a Larry Fishburne searching for Bobby Fischer, like who, this, this old man at the park is so unassuming. Actually, he's a wizened chess master.

• 14:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:01Griffin McElroy?

  And he's gonna, he's gonna train your, I don't remember the plot of that movie.

• 14:05Travis McElroy?

  I think that was it.

• 14:06Griffin McElroy?

  Real good.

• 14:06Travis McElroy?

  I can slate that movie with Little Man Tate a lot.

• 14:10Griffin McElroy?

  Sure, way different.

• 14:11Travis McElroy?

  I know it's way different, but in my head, I was like, is Harry Conn Jr. In that one? I think Harry Conn Jr. Is in Little Man Tate?

• 14:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. I, I think that you're, I wouldn't start by quibbling about the rules. In a lot of movies I've seen where someone turns out to be good at chess, which is in a lot of movies.

• 14:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:29Travis McElroy?

  You gotta start with something like. It's already over. Like while the kids are playing, you're like not even looking like you're about to move Bishop to knight three. And it's like, and it's already, the game's already ended. And then the kids will like, kind of look at you like, what'd you say? And then this is really important. Never mind.

• 14:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:52Travis McElroy?

  Like, just like, no, no.

• 14:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:54Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, forget I said anything. Type, type, type, computers, computers, computers. I'm assuming you say, I don't know.

• 15:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, cables and wires, cables and wires.

• 15:03Travis McElroy?

  Plug it in, plug it out.

• 15:04Griffin McElroy?

  Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

• 15:05Travis McElroy?

  Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.

• 15:08Travis McElroy?

  I, you could also name like, ah, the, you know, the something opening, you know? Anytime it's like.

• 15:14Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, name one chess opening.

• 15:16Travis McElroy?

  This is what I'm saying. I don't know it.

• 15:18Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man.

• 15:18Travis McElroy?

  Right. But nobody does. You make it up.

• 15:20Griffin McElroy?

  Caro, Carocon.

• 15:22Travis McElroy?

  Oh, I love the Carocon.

• 15:24Griffin McElroy?

  Queens Gambit is one. Yeah.

• 15:26Travis McElroy?

  I, you ever see in a TV show or movie when someone's playing chess and they're like, it's, it's mate in, you know, four or whatever? And I always think when they're doing that, if I was playing against them, I'd be like, ha, ha, ha. That is, you assume I know what I'm doing enough that I will make prescribed moves. But just by you, I don't know what I'm doing.

• 15:44Griffin McElroy?

  No, this is all.

• 15:44Travis McElroy?

  By the time they say things like that, a, a, a statement like that carries with it the assumption of competence from the players involved, right? You know, they don't just say that when like theoretically you could achieve this goal.

• 15:57Griffin McElroy?

  But what Travis is saying, and I would love to watch this Netflix mini series, The King's Gambit. It's time, dudes.

• 16:04Travis McElroy?

  For the boys.

• 16:06Griffin McElroy?

  And then he's, he, he grows up at orphanage and learns about chess. And there's a cantankerous sort of groundskeeper who's secretly really good at chess. And Travis is gonna just say no thank you to those lessons.

• 16:19Travis McElroy?

  Busy.

• 16:19Griffin McElroy?

  Cause he, he rolls up, he's gonna play Garry Kasparov. And Garry Kasparov is like, mate in two. And Travis is like, I don't know what I'm doing.

• 16:29Travis McElroy?

  What, could you explain that to me? What two moves are you thinking of?

• 16:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. And then you just do different moves.

• 16:37Travis McElroy?

  They can't stop you.

• 16:38Griffin McElroy?

  Ones.

• 16:39Travis McElroy?

  Never once have I seen in a movie or TV show, someone say like mate in four and somebody responds like bullshit. All right, mate in three. Is that what we're doing? Is this just like a bidding? Yeah, I can beat you in two then.

• 16:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:54Travis McElroy?

  I don't know, man. If we're just saying shit. Griff, do you ever get really mad playing chess on your phone?

• 17:00Griffin McElroy?

  Does it ever get you really mad?

• 17:02Travis McElroy?

  Do you ever get really steamed playing chess on your phone?

• 17:06Griffin McElroy?

  I tend to play short burst games that don't allow me to have the time to get mad. Like, you know what I mean?

• 17:14Travis McElroy?

  But don't you ever lose like four of them in a row and you start talking to yourself? Like you're bad at chess or a bad person. And then it's like, you get really steamed. You ever do experience that?

• 17:25Griffin McElroy?

  No, no, man. I, not, not really.

• 17:27Travis McElroy?

  If you lose a fear, you're starting, you, you ever think everybody starts to be like, you fucking idiot. Like, why do you even play chess? You should go do anything else, stupid.

• 17:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I don't think, I don't really think.

• 17:39Travis McElroy?

  Me neither. And I wanna make sure people aren't doing that. And it's, it's important that you gotta take it easy on yourself because it's just a game.

• 17:45Griffin McElroy?

  You see Magnus Carlsen stand up from a table, he just lost a game. And he's fucking steamed, fists balled up, arms straight down, stomp's off. It's like, life's too short, buddy.

• 17:56Travis McElroy?

  Look at Bobby Fischer. He got so angry at everyone. He got so steamed at everybody. The beautiful equation is the more you know about chess, the more you know how to play, the angrier you, you get when you lose. That's so the best way to lose at chess is to have no idea what you're doing. And then you lose and you're like, of course I lost.

• 18:16Griffin McElroy?

  It is.

• 18:17Travis McElroy?

  I have no idea what I'm doing. I have perpetually left myself in that, like, uh, the sort of competence, you know, divot between just beginning something and actual competence. Where like, like you experiencing in fighting games, I think where like you learn the move, like you start out pretty good here because you're hitting stuff. And then you learn the moves and then you get much worse because you're trying to do moves. That's where I'm at at chess. I'm like, ah, yes. Well, I know just what this, ah, fuck. Like that's every, every single.

• 18:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, no, I don't get that upset. I get disappointed in myself.

• 18:53Travis McElroy?

  Not anymore, neither anymore.

• 18:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you've moved on.

• 18:57Travis McElroy?

  From chess.

• 18:57Griffin McElroy?

  Don't do chess, you don't do chess.

• 18:59Travis McElroy?

  Don't do chess no more.

• 19:00Griffin McElroy?

  That's the secret.

• 19:01Travis McElroy?

  That's the secret.

• 19:02Griffin McElroy?

  Can't make you mad if you don't do it no more.

• 19:03Travis McElroy?

  Stick to drawing.

• 19:05Griffin McElroy?

  Question. Doesn't matter how much you love it, how good you are at it, how much time you've invested in it. It can't hurt you if you do not do it no more.

• 19:11Travis McElroy?

  Can't hurt you there. It's an elementary school, by the way, just wear a checkerboard patterned shirt and they'll ask you because they're like, you look like a chessboard. Hey.

• 19:20Griffin McElroy?

  Well, okay, no, because if we wanna be chess, if you wanna look like a wizened chess master, you need to have, one, kind of a scruffy beard. Two, a flat cap that you're wearing.

• 19:28Travis McElroy?

  Scottish accent.

• 19:30Griffin McElroy?

  A Scottish accent helps. Absolutely, it does. But you need to be, it's more, it's less your, your, your dress and aesthetic and more your vibe. The more cantankerous you are, the better they are going to assume you are at chess.

• 19:43Travis McElroy?

  Or Forest Whitaker. If you can do like a Forest Whitaker, like, like you're kind of a soft spoken giant, how big are you? Are you big enough to be impressive?

• 19:52Griffin McElroy?

  How big a boy are you?

• 19:53Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Cause if you're like a big old, like if you're taking up a lot of space, but you can make delicate moves. Oh, it's a powerful combination.

• 20:02Griffin McElroy?

  Beautiful move.

• 20:03Travis McElroy?

  Oh, like a beautiful dance, you know, so.

• 20:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:06Travis McElroy?

  So, ah, so graceful on the chessboard. Problem with your situation right now is it sounds insane to complain about kids playing chess. And I think what you need to do is maybe amp it up. So can you get, you know, the things that you hit after you do a move? And it makes the other timer start? Bring in four of those. Hand to the kids. Wait two hours. Go to administration, say, listen, I can't work in there with this fucking chess anymore. It's a nightmare. They'll go in, it'll be true. The kids will have clubbed each other to death like Lord of the Flies with these clocks. Chess will be done. It'll be banned at the school.

• 20:45Griffin McElroy?

  So you're saying this is a way of getting your own office?

• 20:48Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, eventually the library becomes your library, like Belle in Beauty and the Beast. You know what I mean? You can just.

• 20:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, no, the message of Beauty and the Beast is it's better to have your own library.

• 20:58Travis McElroy?

  That's my favorite part where the apocalypse happens and Belle walks out of the big vault. And she's like, oh, there's so much time now to read all my books.

• 21:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but then she drops her glasses.

• 21:08Travis McElroy?

  Oh. We should institute those little clock mechanisms into conversations.

• 21:15Griffin McElroy?

  Ooh, that's interesting.

• 21:16Travis McElroy?

  We're like, you ask the person, like, oh, how was your day? And then you hit the button and their time starts. You know what I mean?

• 21:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:22Travis McElroy?

  And they hit.

• 21:23Griffin McElroy?

  How much time are we talking? I guess it depends on the person you're talking to. You walk up and you like, you have to agree like two minutes, bullet? A bullet conversation?

• 21:31Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:31Griffin McElroy?

  If you, uh, that, that sounds great to me. We have one minute each.

• 21:34Travis McElroy?

  I need the opposite one for me where it's like, how long do I have to sustain this? Okay, go. All right, 30 seconds of me, uh, holding court. Let's do it. And then I want to relax into the other person, just whisking me away. I wanna know how long I have to contribute before the other person can, uh, pick me back up. Do I have to talk to you before you'll tell me about a hyper fixation you have and I can just enjoy it vicariously and then go to sleep?

• 21:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yep. You watching Lannerts?

• 22:01Travis McElroy?

  You watching Lannerts?

• 22:03Griffin McElroy?

  Click.

• 22:08Travis McElroy?

  Uh, let's take another question from the audience. My friend has recently told me about a fried pie festival near their town and has invited me to submit an application to judge the fried pie contest. Problem is they want you to give reasons why you'd be good for the job. Now brothers, I like pie as much as the next guy and I eat my fair share of it around the holidays, but I don't think I have any special qualifications as a fried pie taster. Worse, I don't live in the town hosting the competition and I'm worried they'll favor a local pick. What do I say to convince the folks that I have the unbiased and refined taste needed to be an impartial judge so I can taste a bunch of free pie? That's for vying for fried pies in Georgia. God, that sounds good.

• 22:50Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 22:51Griffin McElroy?

  Fried pie sounds good?

• 22:53Travis McElroy?

  This is like a ham pie, right?

• 22:54Travis McElroy?

  Ham pie. And if they have savory ones, which they might, right? Do you think they have empanadas?

• 23:02Griffin McElroy?

  I guess that's a hint. I guess that's a type of hint.

• 23:03Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I guess they would put those.

• 23:05Travis McElroy?

  Fried pie can be a fried pie.

• 23:06Travis McElroy?

  It's gotta be a different category, right? You should, I shouldn't be comparing a savory ham pie to a sweet ham pie in the same judging.

• 23:15Griffin McElroy?

  It's not fair. I think you could make the argument that a local judge will be inherently biased because like, you know, if, you know, Burt Wolf, Burt Wolf Ford's in there and he's making his own pies, then people are going to be like, well, I love his commercials, so I'm going to give his pie a good score. But you can roll up and say in your application, like, I don't fucking care about any of you. I think your town is sucks and I don't know anyone there, except for my best friend Dylan, who fucking shreds, dude.

• 23:48Travis McElroy?

  And Dylan is not allowed to compete, not by the rules, but by a conversation he and I had. Could you blindfold yourself too, to take it even further? Like I will be, I will be basing these on mouth experience alone.

• 24:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I don't care how nasty they look. I'll eat them all up. Send a video of you eating 15 hand pies.

• 24:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:08Griffin McElroy?

  Just to let them know, like physically I can do this. I possess the capacity for many fried pies.

• 24:13Travis McElroy?

  I, I'm gonna be having to eat a bunch throughout the day to judge them. And now you get to watch a trial run of that.

• 24:19Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, doesn't sound that appealing.

• 24:21Griffin McElroy?

  Here's what it'll look like. That's good. When you audition for a role, you gotta do sides and you gotta do, so you know, a self tape and so you just, you know, hmm, nutty and flaky.

• 24:34Travis McElroy?

  You need to demonstrate, yeah, take the bite and then click a pen and jot something down on a piece of paper while you go, hmm. Maybe swish it around in your mouth a little bit.

• 24:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, do the advanced techniques. You gotta swirl it to check the tannins.

• 24:48Travis McElroy?

  And then spit.

• 24:49Griffin McElroy?

  Check the nose of the fried pie.

• 24:51Travis McElroy?

  I think there's still time before this event to create the number one fried pie channel on YouTube. Or like, maybe if you want to be a little more current and shorter form, honestly, like the fried pie TikTok guy. Fried pie guy.

• 25:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I don't think you have to put TikTok. I don't think usually they put the name in the platform.

• 25:11Travis McElroy?

  Fried TikTok pie guy?

• 25:12Griffin McElroy?

  We're the McElroy YouTube brothers.

• 25:15Travis McElroy?

  And we would be so much more famous.

• 25:18Griffin McElroy?

  Come on down.

• 25:18Travis McElroy?

  If we had started calling ourselves the McElroy YouTube brothers in 2010, we would be billionaires by now.

• 25:24Travis McElroy?

  God.

• 25:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:25Travis McElroy?

  We'd have a content house and everything.

• 25:28Travis McElroy?

  Content house.

• 25:29Travis McElroy?

  That's the dream.

• 25:30Travis McElroy?

  Not a content basement.

• 25:32Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 25:33Travis McElroy?

  That I have to share with that, with the garden basement and the TV basement.

• 25:39Travis McElroy?

  The 3D printing basement.

• 25:41Griffin McElroy?

  How, um, I don't think I would like being a fried pie judge. Maybe this, we'd never take this tack with a email, but maybe reconsider that the thing you want to do would maybe not be a great thing to do. I don't think you're getting paid. You get to eat a lot of fried pies, but this could also be like, uh, your parents catch you smoking cigarettes that make you smoke a whole carton. Maybe eating a hundred fried pies, you won't like fried pies.

• 26:06Travis McElroy?

  But you're forgetting about the power, Griffin, that comes with being the judge. And we talked about being impartial, but what if you took it the other way? You get the job and then you're like, I am open to bribery. I am open to flattery. Um, I will accept plenty of gifts and stuff.

• 26:25Griffin McElroy?

  I can be extorted so easily. I have secrets that if they got out, I'd be ruined.

• 26:31Travis McElroy?

  That's kind of the opposite of the way I was going with, like I could be bought, but I could be sold, I guess is where Griffin's going. It's like, yeah.

• 26:38Travis McElroy?

  How many, how many fried pies do you think you gotta eat for this? How many, I mean, do we think, are we thinking it's like a regular day? Or do you feel it's like gonna take a physical toll on you? Do you think that you're going to like?

• 26:51Travis McElroy?

  Festival.

• 26:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's true, Travis. It's not a fried pie picnic or shindig. It is a festival.

• 26:57Travis McElroy?

  I assume it's more than.

• 26:58Travis McElroy?

  It's a celebratory.

• 26:59Travis McElroy?

  One fried pie.

• 27:01Griffin McElroy?

  You don't gotta finish them though, right? I don't think.

• 27:04Travis McElroy?

  Nah, they probably have cut, like which bites of the fried pie though? If you give me a really crusty corner one, I might be a little bit more in favor of it. You know what I mean? That's not fair to anybody.

• 27:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I think it's probably the second section.

• 27:15Travis McElroy?

  I don't think they're serving fried pie cores.

• 27:19Travis McElroy?

  Nah, I gotta have my funny filling in there. Yeah, no question.

• 27:22Travis McElroy?

  But you can't get, I think the middle, hmm, that is.

• 27:26Travis McElroy?

  You can't get, no, you can't do that. A lot of people do that. They're like, here's my sample of my pie and they've cut off the quarters and just left that fruity funny filling. No, thank you, dude.

• 27:36Travis McElroy?

  I had to try the whole pie. No, I think you gotta go, if you're looking at like a bell curve, separate it into fifths.

• 27:42Travis McElroy?

  I want the second.

• 27:43Griffin McElroy?

  It should look like a bell curve, kinda like this.

• 27:44Travis McElroy?

  I want the second or fourth, fifth. You know what I mean? Not the corner, not the middle.

• 27:49Griffin McElroy?

  That's the good stuff.

• 27:49Travis McElroy?

  I need that. That's gonna give me a clear indication of how much you filled it because this middle's gonna be two-folded.

• 27:55Griffin McElroy?

  Not the heel.

• 27:57Travis McElroy?

  Not the heel.

• 27:57Griffin McElroy?

  Not the ru, not the rump.

• 27:59Travis McElroy?

  Not the rum.

• 28:00Griffin McElroy?

  The, the, between.

• 28:01Travis McElroy?

  The haunches.

• 28:03Griffin McElroy?

  The haunches of the fried pie.

• 28:05Travis McElroy?

  That's gonna give you a good indicator.

• 28:07Travis McElroy?

  That's, that's where the, that's where the money is.

• 28:10Travis McElroy?

  And if you say shit like that in your application, you're gonna seem qualified even though you're talking out your ass.

• 28:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I think it's, I think you could just change your name.

• 28:21Travis McElroy?

  To the fried pie guy?

• 28:22Travis McElroy?

  To fried pie guy, the TikTok fried pie.

• 28:25Travis McElroy?

  My name is friedpieguy.com.

• 28:28Travis McElroy?

  If you legally changed your YouTube account to the TikTok fried guy, the TikTok fried pie guy, I think that you would start getting traction. At least in time to where you could like send a link to somebody if they didn't pay really close attention.

• 28:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:41Travis McElroy?

  You might have to delete some older content if you've been doing other stuff on there. Cause if people go back like three videos and it's, you know, are you doing Minecraft tutorials and they're like, what is this? Unless you're doing fried pie Minecraft tutorials on how to build fried pies in Minecraft. I've never played Minecraft. I don't know. Wow, how it works.

• 29:04Griffin McElroy?

  That's crazy.

• 29:04Travis McElroy?

  That's awesome.

• 29:05Griffin McElroy?

  That's crazy. You've never played Minecraft, man.

• 29:07Travis McElroy?

  Not that I can remember, but I have about a week of memories at any given time. I don't have a lot of RAM.

• 29:14Griffin McElroy?

  It's just, it's all over the place, man. It's sort of cultural phenomenon. You see that movie?

• 29:19Travis McElroy?

  They made a Minecraft movie?

• 29:21Griffin McElroy?

  All right, dude.

• 29:22Travis McElroy?

  Let's take a break. Let's go to the movie.

• 29:36Travis McElroy?

  Can I tell you guys, Wayfair has just what I need, which was a new table for my office? Because the other one I got was like a three-legged thing that I had for like, hmm, three months before one of the legs just snapped right off.

• 29:51Travis McElroy?

  That's two legs and then you're sunk.

• 29:53Travis McElroy?

  Only two legs and it didn't really work that much. A two-legged table is not effective. So I went on Wayfair and not only did I find a better, a sturdier table, it's pretty as hell and matches, uh, the weird, uh, mid-modern century thing I'm going for. Modern mid-century, whatever. Uh, I was able to find the exact thing. It's sturdy as hell. I could dance on this thing and maybe I will to celebrate it.

• 30:22Travis McElroy?

  You should. They got a wide range of stuff at Wayfair. If you're, whatever the budget is for this purchase, they got something that's gonna fit your, your needs and that's really nice. It's, it's kind of your one stop shop.

• 30:33Travis McElroy?

  They even have playground stuff. I've been looking to revamp the kids playground as they've gotten bigger. They got playground stuff on Wayfair.

• 30:41Griffin McElroy?

  Wow. Wow. Yeah, I, I love Wayfair. I always use it when I have like, well, I've left one sort of 70 inch gap where I need to put a very extremely specific sized piece of furniture. Uh, you can't really do that anywhere else but Wayfair. Wayfair will, Wayfair will get you exactly what you need.

• 30:59Travis McElroy?

  Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

• 31:19Speaker 05

  Hi, I'm Andrew Reich and I host Dead Pilot Society and I am here with Max Fun Member of the Month Jacob Eads. Thank you so much for being a listener of our show and congratulations on being this month's Member of the Month.

• 31:32Speaker 06

  Pleasure to meet you.

• 31:33Speaker 05

  What made you take the leap to become an actual member of Maximum Fun?

• 31:38Speaker 06

  I'm spending all this time listening and enjoying them for content because it's not like just supporting one podcast either. It's supporting a whole network of people. So I feel like the dollar really goes a long way.

• 31:51Speaker 05

  Can't tell you how much we appreciate it. And as our Member of the Month, you will be getting a $25 gift card to the Maximum Fun store, a special Member of the Month bumper sticker. You can take that car with that bumper sticker and drive it to the parking.

• 32:08Speaker 06

  Spot at Max Fun headquarters in Los Angeles, which will be there just for you. I might have to get one of my friends to bring like a cardboard cutout of me who lives in Los Angeles and just to show that I was there.

• 32:21Speaker 07

  Support the shows you love, including this one. Check the show notes for a link or go to maximumfun.org/join. Hey Max Fun listeners, it's me Jackie Kishen. I have a podcast with Lori Kilmartin. Say hi Lori. Hi Jacqueline. Hi Max Fun listeners. What a very formal. We have a podcast and it's about standup comedy and how much we love it and how much we dislike some of it. So listen to that podcast. It's called the Jackie and Lori Show. We drop new episodes every Wednesday that gives us plenty of time to decompress from our comedy weekends and discuss things with sane, level heads. No, it doesn't. If you are a woman our age or a man our age, or you know what, any person of any age.

• 33:05Speaker 07

  I think you'll enjoy your podcast. Jackie and Lori Show on MaximumFun.org. Bye.

• 33:15Travis McElroy?

  I'm killing man for a fried pie right now. It's all I can think about, dude.

• 33:21Griffin McElroy?

  I just, I guess I don't know other, yeah. I'm just gonna Google fried.

• 33:25Travis McElroy?

  Do you remember when they, like you could get, what was the pie? There was like a green filling pie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pies? The hand pies, that's like a fried pie. Celebrity one, why not? Celebrity one, why not? The hubris.

• 34:00Griffin McElroy?

  The, the.

• 34:01Travis McElroy?

  The hubris. This is celebrity, this is celebrity tequila por favor. And we're gonna be talking about all the great celebrities that have wandered haphazardly into the world of premium tequila. Now, of course, this all goes back to Sammy. Sammy Hagar with his Cabo Wabo.

• 34:24Travis McElroy?

  His Cabo Wabo tequila, which he was so integral in making. I mean, he was a pioneer of premium tequila. That's what.

• 34:33Travis McElroy?

  It also, if you say it, it sounds like you were trying to say something else, but you got sung by a bee on your lips and tongue at the same time. And all you can get.

• 34:41Travis McElroy?

  Sammy Hagar Cabo Wabo.

• 34:42Travis McElroy?

  Cabo Wabo.

• 34:44Travis McElroy?

  Cabo Wabo. Well, eventually Campari bought it all for a hundred million, so he can't do that anymore. So they made him do it again, a different one, which doesn't seem very nice. But he is, has Sammy Hagar has returned to his roots, his agave roots that is, and bringing along Guy Fieri for the ride. Whoa.

• 35:04Griffin McElroy?

  Crazy to have him in the fucking side saddle. That's crazy to have.

• 35:11Travis McElroy?

  This isn't even to make the show better. It is just because I like you guys and I wanna show you a picture of these two. Just like chilling.

• 35:21Speaker 07

  Oh, it's just a dad and his son.

• 35:24Griffin McElroy?

  That's his dad. Sammy Hagar is Guy Fieri's dad.

• 35:26Speaker 07

  Oh, it's nice that they can still get together.

• 35:30Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's beautiful. So.

• 35:32Speaker 07

  With not enough bottles to really fill the shelves behind them. They really.

• 35:36Griffin McElroy?

  They had fifteen bottles.

• 35:38Speaker 07

  Yeah, they underestimated.

• 35:40Travis McElroy?

  Over, over my career, I've teamed up with a lot of high profile people, says veteran rocker Sammy Hagar. It's kinda like what you do with a band, cuz he was in Chickenfoot.

• 35:53Travis McElroy?

  I guess. Sometimes we go on tour, you bring another big band with you and you can put together what they call a package. You sell five times the tickets and you play at big stadiums. Mr. Hagar, if you could just answer the question about.

• 36:09Travis McElroy?

  The question was about tequila, Mr. Hagar. That's kinda the way I am with trying to do it with the liquor industry cuz everyone is now making spirits or liquor and getting involved. Especially in the tequila. Yes, hey Travis.

• 36:21Griffin McElroy?

  And fucking everyone.

• 36:22Travis McElroy?

  Okay, uh, yeah, especially the tequila. His first brand was of course Cabo Wabo. And now he's back cuz his new tequila brand began by making a mezquila in 2017, which is neither mezcal nor tequila, as both are internationally legally protected.

• 36:41Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 36:44Travis McElroy?

  They are internationally legally protected names, right? So he could, and because he's producing tequila.

• 36:52Travis McElroy?

  Like champagne.

• 36:53Travis McElroy?

  Yes, exactly Travis. And if he made tequila, that would be in violation of his non-compete clause with Cabo Wabo. His first child of liquor.

• 37:03Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 37:05Travis McElroy?

  I, I tasted all these mezcal. This is Sammy Hagar. I tasted all these mezcal's and went around the distilleries to see how it's really made. I decided that I don't really like it that much.

• 37:21Travis McElroy?

  Okay, under what pretense did Sammy roll up to a mezcal distillery? If not, I want to start a competing brand to yours. Let me see how you do it. It's cool, I'm Sammy Hagar.

• 37:39Griffin McElroy?

  Gulp, gulp, gulp. Yuck.

• 37:41Travis McElroy?

  Yuck, I don't like it.

• 37:41Griffin McElroy?

  Actually sucks. I don't like this.

• 37:44Travis McElroy?

  I actually don't enjoy it.

• 37:46Travis McElroy?

  And I won't be signing anything, not that you ask.

• 37:50Travis McElroy?

  Hagar, okay, so he went down, I don't really like it that much. It's rustic, it's smoky as hell. If you try to age it, it gets sweet. It does funny things. It's not typical. Hagar, who admits he only began liking tequila in 1988.

• 38:07Griffin McElroy?

  That's a long career of enjoying a particular spirit.

• 38:11Travis McElroy?

  It was only after tasting premium 100% agave tequila, he decided that he was gonna try and make a blend of tequila and mezcal. The guys in Oaxaca said, no.

• 38:22Travis McElroy?

  Also cuz he wanted money.

• 38:24Travis McElroy?

  The guy said.

• 38:24Griffin McElroy?

  He did want money from.

• 38:25Travis McElroy?

  You can't even bring tequila into this area. And then a tequila guy said, no, you can't bring mezcal into the Jalisco area. That's where we make tequila. So I got some guys to bring truckloads of already made Esponden mezcal into Jalisco. And then Juan Eduardo Nunez, the former distiller for Cabo Wabo, got it in. And he started trying to blend it and took us about a year to get it right. And I finally, I came up with the product and the name mezquila.

• 38:52Griffin McElroy?

  So it's a combinat-, sort of a both.

• 38:54Travis McElroy?

  Is Guy.

• 38:54Griffin McElroy?

  The best of both worlds.

• 38:55Travis McElroy?

  Is Guy Fieri just sitting next to him during this entire interview?

• 38:59Travis McElroy?

  So that's the story of.

• 38:59Griffin McElroy?

  Smoking a big fat blunt, nodding his head.

• 39:02Travis McElroy?

  All right, that's the story of mezquila.

• 39:05Griffin McElroy?

  That's my man.

• 39:06Travis McElroy?

  Now we're gonna talk about Santo. That's the new product.

• 39:09Travis McElroy?

  I thought it was Santa.

• 39:11Griffin McElroy?

  I thought it says Santa on the, on Guy Fieri's shirt.

• 39:14Travis McElroy?

  Everyone knows Cabo Wabo tequila. How is Santo different? I'm much more involved in the actual production of Santo. Guy Fieri and I go down to taste all the samples before it's put into the bottles. Hey, can I just?

• 39:29Travis McElroy?

  We take a sip from every bottle before we ship it.

• 39:32Travis McElroy?

  If I could get an invite to that, by the way, I would just love to be along for that, hey, for that weekend.

• 39:38Griffin McElroy?

  I can't believe that wasn't your Guy Fieri voice, by the way, Juice. It had, it was hugely Guy Fieri.

• 39:42Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I, I did realize that. I didn't wanna distinguish who was actually speaking, but I, yeah, you're right. The difference is, uh, we cook it.

• 39:51Travis McElroy?

  We cook it twice instead of once. We let it rest and cook it again, so it's caramelized. That's a big deal. That's like letting a steak rest, so the juices go back into it. The agaves are hand.

• 40:03Travis McElroy?

  And then cooking it again.

• 40:04Travis McElroy?

  It's like cooking it again.

• 40:07Travis McElroy?

  Like you put it in the microwave and give it that last bit of heat.

• 40:10Travis McElroy?

  Like all the famous chefs do it.

• 40:13Travis McElroy?

  It's not just a dump truck full of agave chopped up and thrown in the oven.

• 40:18Travis McElroy?

  Stop saying it is.

• 40:20Travis McElroy?

  We go through and get the elders, the bigger, juicier agaves. Agave is expensive now and there's a shortage, so everyone's using younger, greener agaves. We don't do that.

• 40:33Travis McElroy?

  Nope.

• 40:34Travis McElroy?

  We don't do that.

• 40:35Travis McElroy?

  Do you think they had to institute after all of these Guy Fieri and Sammy Hagar, like, tasting sessions? They had to like put a big sign up on the wall for the end of the day that says like, no conversations about collaborations regarding either recording an album together or making a cookbook together. You're drunk again.

• 40:57Griffin McElroy?

  You're drunk. We've put you in this, this hyperbaric warehouse sized chamber, just the two of you, where you can't harm anyone else.

• 41:04Travis McElroy?

  It's videos of them from the past, like, hey, this is so for you guys. I know that it seems like it would be such a good idea to make an album where Sammy makes the music and it's themed to Guy Fieri's recipes. It's not a good idea.

• 41:21Speaker 07

  Who brought that guitar in here? You know we can't have guitars around when they're taste testing.

• 41:25Travis McElroy?

  Not like this.

• 41:26Travis McElroy?

  They did, they did ask about Guy. Guy wasn't interviewed for this, but he asked about the partnership with Guy. Guy was one of the first fans I met in the restaurant business way back when I started at Cabo Wabo. We held a contest. Ever sold the most tequila in their restaurant, got to meet me backstage when I was on tour in their area and went and signed guitar. So of course, guy won the contest by putting a premium tequila in his well.

• 41:51Travis McElroy?

  What a terrible business decision.

• 41:54Travis McElroy?

  When I sold Cabo Wabo, he said, if you ever do that again, dude, I want to make tequila with you. So when I started making tequila, he called me up and said, hey, what? Did you forget about me? I said, come on. We shook hands and he joined the team and he's been the best partner anyone could have.

• 42:13Griffin McElroy?

  That's not the most flattering kind of depiction of him to put in a press release.

• 42:18Travis McElroy?

  Please, Mr. Hagar, let me be a part of the magic. Please, I'll do anything. I'm begging you.

• 42:23Travis McElroy?

  Um, so that is, that is Sammy. Uh, that is just a sampling. I would like to very briefly talk about, uh, Fletch Azul. If I could, if I could be so bold. Fletch Azul is the one by Mark Wahlberg. Um, and Mark, Mark has a different sort of take on this whole business. And I wanted to be fair to, um, to Mark because a lot of people, uh, sort of wandered into this business and decided to make themselves tequila experts. And Mark has taken a different approach. I really celebrate.

• 42:59Travis McElroy?

  Can you please get rid of the picture of Sammy Hagar guy staring at me?

• 43:03Griffin McElroy?

  It's been on my screen for twice.

• 43:04Travis McElroy?

  Hey, we saw you from across the bar. We really like your vibe.

• 43:08Griffin McElroy?

  I've got screen burn on my monitor now. There's just a ghostly trace, an inverted trace of Sammy Hagar guy here.

• 43:16Travis McElroy?

  He got burned in. Um, it's not just the actor's go to, uh, Mark Wahlberg is a tequila guy. It's not just his go to drink of choice, but now he's invested in a line of tequila called Fletch Azul. Co-founded by Mexican PGA golfer Abraham Ansar and entrepreneur, Aron Marquez. It's funny because when it was first mentioned to me, I said, absolutely not. Oh, you have all these other people out there claiming to have gone to Mexico and created tequila and cultivated agave and all this stuff.

• 43:48Griffin McElroy?

  Holy shit. Is this in, is this in conversation with Sammy Hagar?

• 43:54Travis McElroy?

  This is off the record, right?

• 43:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, this is off the record, right? These fucking guys.

• 43:59Griffin McElroy?

  What am I, am I going to go find some jerk off like Guy Fieri to partner up with?

• 44:04Travis McElroy?

  Let me list off six celebrities that I think can huff ass.

• 44:09Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, all these people, uh, and they, okay, they were like, this is not what this is. We have two amazing guys who are really young and like-minded. I said, I would just like to invest in them. The trio partnered during the coronavirus pandemic and with Wahlberg inking a deal last year as the principal investor. And yes, he did take a visit to the brand's distillery in Jalisco, Mexico.

• 44:32Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 44:32Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Well, I said, I wanted to put my money where my mouth is and cut a big check and get involved with your brand and utilize all of my resources, everything that we have, we're going to tap into and utilize to make sure this brand is as successful as possible.

• 44:50Griffin McElroy?

  Cool. You never hear that in press releases of someone being like, I have so much money. I have so, so the amount of money I have would make you sick to your stomach.

• 44:58Travis McElroy?

  I was the executive producer of Entourage. I'm rolling in it, guys.

• 45:03Griffin McElroy?

  I have cash on hand. I am liquid.

• 45:06Travis McElroy?

  Um, so he's just an investor there. That is, that is, uh, the entirety of, uh, Mark's contribution. He does know that others are in the space like Dwayne The Rock Johnson, of course, and George Clooney. Uh, that, the tequila entrepreneurs. Um, Wahlberg is unfazed by the competition. The space is growing thanks to guys like Dwayne, who have created a lot of awareness and excitement. But that's not stopping Wahlberg from heading for the top. We're coming for everybody's spot. We plan on being the best because we have the best product out there. It's the best value proposition for the customer, said Mark Wahlberg.

• 45:48Travis McElroy?

  Tequila investor?

• 45:50Travis McElroy?

  Tequila investor, adding, he's down to host a tequila off with Johnson and Clooney. I've tasted their product. They haven't tasted mine.

• 45:59Griffin McElroy?

  How do you know?

• 46:01Travis McElroy?

  This is the, my favorite part. Those guys know me very well. They know my competitive spirit.

• 46:10Travis McElroy?

  Hey, I'm really good friends with George Clooney and Dwayne.

• 46:15Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, I believe.

• 46:16Travis McElroy?

  Those guys know me very well.

• 46:17Griffin McElroy?

  I believe one of those. I believe one of those. I do believe Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne The Rock Johnson have been in at least one motion picture together. Um, maybe probably more, uh, but George Clooney and Wahlberg, I'm not a, I'm not as sold that they are on each other's speed dial.

• 46:38Travis McElroy?

  Um, do you think that he said that with such confidence? I tasted theirs, but they haven't tasted mine. Is he calling them and asking them regularly?

• 46:47Griffin McElroy?

  Trying my shit yet? Have you done it?

• 46:48Travis McElroy?

  Hey, did you try it?

• 46:49Griffin McElroy?

  Try my shit?

• 46:49Travis McElroy?

  Hey.

• 46:50Travis McElroy?

  What do you think? Do you like it?

• 46:52Travis McElroy?

  I've tried yours.

• 46:53Travis McElroy?

  It's pretty spicy, huh? Ooh, I like the spice parts of it. Did you like?

• 46:56Travis McElroy?

  I put a lot of money into it.

• 46:58Travis McElroy?

  One more, just for this, just for the quote.

• 47:01Travis McElroy?

  For the vine.

• 47:02Travis McElroy?

  Recent, this is a business story from 2022. Abasolo ancestral corn whiskey and Ojo de Tigre Mescal. The founders of those is called Casa Lumbre and they joined forces with renowned, this is the, this is in the title of the press release. And renowned musician, actor and designer, Lenny Kravitz.

• 47:28Griffin McElroy?

  Hell, yeah, hell, yeah.

• 47:30Travis McElroy?

  Hell, yeah. To develop Noche, Noche Luna Sotol. An exciting offer in the newly emerging and highly promising Sotol spirits category. It's distinct from tequila and mezcal.

• 47:43Travis McElroy?

  Legally.

• 47:44Travis McElroy?

  This, this is, yeah. Thank you, Travis. Almost certainly. Yes. That is probably front and center. We just want to clarify. It is not these legally protected things. Now, the, the creator of this, uh, this, uh, ultra premium, uh, reference in the category, Noche Luna. Uh, Lenny said, as an artist, I respect the journey. And I'm inspired by every intricate step of how this team crafts Noche Luna Sotol. I value how this spirit stays true to the traditional ways of making Sotol. Exemplifying a true understanding of this craft, says Lenny Kravitz.

• 48:27Travis McElroy?

  I'm honored to bring further awareness to this incredible spirit.

• 48:32Griffin McElroy?

  Huh.

• 48:32Travis McElroy?

  And region.

• 48:33Travis McElroy?

  Hey, could you clarify, Mr. Kravitz, on like what that process is? Oh, I have no idea.

• 48:39Griffin McElroy?

  I have no idea.

• 48:40Travis McElroy?

  I could not even begin.

• 48:41Griffin McElroy?

  Real quick, how much money do you have and are you friends with George Clooney? Can you clarify that in your press release?

• 48:47Travis McElroy?

  I wrote a big check, not in amount, mind you, but inside.

• 48:52Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know anything about this stuff, but I have a significant portion of my own personal estate kind of riding on this. Please buy it. You love my music. You love my music. I didn't make this stuff, but I helped, I guess. So drink it, drink it up, please.

• 49:08Travis McElroy?

  I was in Hunger Games. Please drink my legally distinct tequila.

• 49:14Travis McElroy?

  I, uh, I did want to mention to you guys, because I, I love to talk, uh,

• 49:20Travis McElroy?

  Matt McConaughey is kind of like a West Virginian, basically, because he did live here for some period of time. So I would say, I don't know if he's like a native West Virginian, but like.

• 49:31Griffin McElroy?

  Come town, boy, make good. He came into the subway, he came into the subway next door to the TCPY I worked at.

• 49:35Travis McElroy?

  Is that true?

• 49:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. So he's like. Uh, I didn't see him. No, but I heard about it.

• 49:42Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that would have been cool. Yeah, no.

• 49:44Travis McElroy?

  Smell him? I don't think he bathes. I think he said that famously.

• 49:48Travis McElroy?

  Uh, Matthew McConaughey, uh, has a tequila. Uh, he has it with Camila McConaughey, uh, his wife. It is called Pantalones Organic Tequila.

• 50:01Travis McElroy?

  And Pantalones Organic Tequila is, it recently expanded into Asia. Actually, this is from April. Okay. Pantalones Organic Tequila, co-founded by Matthew and Camila McConaughey, is expanding into Asia. Here's the quote. We launched Pantalones to remind everyone that tequila should be high quality juice and fun.

• 50:24Griffin McElroy?

  To remind everyone.

• 50:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 50:27Griffin McElroy?

  That we've forgotten, I think, that tequila should be high quality juice and fun.

• 50:32Travis McElroy?

  We've lost the reason for the season and, uh, this Christmas, we want to remind you. I just want to be like, I launched this brand because I love money. I like to get it and have it and spend it.

• 50:48Griffin McElroy?

  Well, I don't know if it's that for a lot of the folks who become investors in tequila brands. I think it's more like, I would like to be a, I would like to have my own liquor brand. I think it would be cool to be a liquor magnate in addition to an award-winning actor.

• 51:03Travis McElroy?

  Do you think when they announced this, uh, brand coming out, Joe Pantalone was like, they didn't even ask me. I would, I would have done it. Then my name's right there. Come on.

• 51:14Griffin McElroy?

  My name's almost right there.

• 51:16Travis McElroy?

  Come on, I'm Joey Pants. Let me make the pants tequila.

• 51:20Travis McElroy?

  When they dropped this, this Pantalones Organic Tequila, uh, he and Camila did a video where they were riding on motorcycles with no pants. And in the clip, Matthew McConaughey says, when did tequila stop being tequila? Damn.

• 51:37Griffin McElroy?

  How are you legally? Crazy, Matt. That's, that's so wild, man. That's not really your call to make, I don't think.

• 51:48Travis McElroy?

  You can. Everyone, everyone, listen, tequila should be high quality juice and fun.

• 51:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Everyone making it stinks.

• 51:59Travis McElroy?

  He said.

• 51:59Griffin McElroy?

  Not me, though.

• 52:00Travis McElroy?

  Everybody's making serious business tequila for serious business meetings and stuff.

• 52:06Travis McElroy?

  It's supposed to be fun.

• 52:07Travis McElroy?

  The world doesn't need another celebrity tequila, but tequila sure could use a kick in the pants. Pantalones Organic Tequila is the best thing we've made with our pants on.

• 52:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. What's that mean, Matt? Are you talking about your, your kids?

• 52:25Travis McElroy?

  Everybody, everybody talking about tequila sounds insane.

• 52:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:30Travis McElroy?

  You sound, you understand that you shouldn't be the people say, do you understand that? Here's, here's a quote. Remember Casa Amigos? That's, they got that from squishing together house and friend, house friend. George Clooney is my house friend.

• 52:45Griffin McElroy?

  Sure.

• 52:47Travis McElroy?

  George Clooney's house friend.

• 52:50Travis McElroy?

  We talked about how this was going to be like the bottles you see in old John Wayne movies, where you slide the bottle down the par, pull the cork out with your teeth and pour yourself a shot. What the fuck does that mean? What are you fucking talking about?

• 53:03Travis McElroy?

  What are you gonna talk about?

• 53:05Travis McElroy?

  If you go to Mexico for the holidays, you drink a lot of tequila. So we thought, why don't we just make one that doesn't burn going down? Casamigos was just made just for us, a safe, non-burning tequila for white.

• 53:22Travis McElroy?

  We, we, we didn't put any cheese in it. It's not spicy at all. This is the mild, this is mild chunky salsa.

• 53:31Griffin McElroy?

  They put a little milk in there, just a little bit of milk to cut the, cut some of the acidity.

• 53:36Travis McElroy?

  It's 50% water.

• 53:38Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so this is, I just want to point out that the, one of the reasons I'm not that familiar with the work of Mr. Fluffy Iglesias, but I do know he's quite a popular Mexican-American comedian. He has the tequila. He has tequila. Now, this is the gentleman I would like to listen to. Here's his quote about his tequila, which by the way, his tequila has flavors like Mexican candy and grilled pineapple. Okay, thank you.

• 54:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 54:04Travis McElroy?

  And he says, as a proud Mexican-American, I wanted to make a tequila that celebrates both my roots. When creating pocho fino tequila, it was important to me that tequila is approachable, full of flavor, and fancy enough for a fine glass or casual enough to drink out of a plastic cup. That's what makes my kind of tequila. Okay, now we're fucking talking.

• 54:23Travis McElroy?

  That's a statement of intent that I understand.

• 54:27Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, Mr. Fluffy.

• 54:29Travis McElroy?

  I wanted to make a tequila you could slide down a bar.

• 54:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, or I hate this shit, but I've got so much goddamn money and my frie- my famous friends.

• 54:40Travis McElroy?

  Oh, Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I love, I mean, McConaughey's is probably my favorite, where he let off saying, the world doesn't need another tequila made by a celebrity. And then continues explaining why he did it. The world doesn't need this, but I did it anyways because my wife and I have sex and made cool children, but this is good too.

• 55:05Travis McElroy?

  Even Wahlberg is not immune, cuz he's like, I, listen, I don't know shit about tequila. I wrote him a big ass check. He actually says later in that press release, if I was being real, I would have done whiskey. If I was being like real, I would have done Irish whiskey, but I don't know.

• 55:20Travis McElroy?

  Is it too late?

• 55:21Travis McElroy?

  He can't resist the temptation to be like, I mean, I went to Mexico. Like, I went down there.

• 55:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I looked at it.

• 55:28Travis McElroy?

  I went down there and looked at it, as if that's in some way like Skype, dude, like seriously.

• 55:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, zoom in.

• 55:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, they mentioned like, yeah, I mean, Mark came down, like, you know, Mark's one, like, poked around.

• 55:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I took some pictures with people.

• 55:41Travis McElroy?

  I could go on and on and on, uh, but I, yeah, I, I, I will return to this incredible world, um, but.

• 55:50Travis McElroy?

  To this well or top shelf, like tequila?

• 55:55Travis McElroy?

  No, it's good. I liked it.

• 55:56Travis McElroy?

  Okay, cool. Thank you.

• 55:57Travis McElroy?

  No, I liked it. I just didn't, I couldn't think of something like better.

• 56:01Travis McElroy?

  You know what I like?

• 56:02Travis McElroy?

  Like, it's what I, I miss that, like, you know, in Clubhouse, we have that, like, sound. You know, they're like.

• 56:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 56:08Travis McElroy?

  We need to get a fourth brother in here on a, on like a sound effects machine.

• 56:12Travis McElroy?

  Literally every show, like, literally, everybody but us does this, right? They have like a stream. I have a stream deck here. Look at it.

• 56:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 56:22Travis McElroy?

  It's not plugged in.

• 56:23Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Justin.

• 56:25Travis McElroy?

  It doesn't do anything.

• 56:26Travis McElroy?

  Justin, not plugged in at all. Mine's a paperweight.

• 56:31Travis McElroy?

  Every time I plug it in, every time I think, this is the road to competence. Here I come, professionalism. I'm coming for your ass. And every time I'm like, I really need that USB port. It's my best USB port. I need it for my handheld devices. Sorry, pal.

• 56:46Griffin McElroy?

  I can, I can do this with my stream deck.

• 56:48Travis McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 56:50Griffin McElroy?

  Lights on, lights off, no big deal. You guys gotta use this thing. It's like a cool, it's like a remote control for tech.

• 56:55Travis McElroy?

  And you people at home need to get your tickets to see the besties live on Broadway, October 9th at the Town Hall in NYC. They're doing a bestie show live? I didn't even know they had Real Bodies, but they do.

• 57:06Griffin McElroy?

  True.

• 57:07Travis McElroy?

  Get your tickets now. bit.ly/bestiesonbroadway.

• 57:12Griffin McElroy?

  Um, yeah, come see us if we've never done one before.

• 57:14Travis McElroy?

  It's gonna be good.

• 57:15Griffin McElroy?

  An absolute hoot. We got merch over at the McElroy merch store, macroymerch.com, uh, including a limited edition. Pupating is always a free action design shirt.

• 57:24Travis McElroy?

  Limited edition.

• 57:26Griffin McElroy?

  It is limited edition. Limited edition. Pupating is always a free action shirt inspired by the Taz Royale finale. Uh, all that is over at macroymerch.com and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will also be donated to uh, the Midwest Food Bank's Disaster Relief Fund. Uh, so go, go check all that stuff out.

• 57:45Travis McElroy?

  I also wanted to say, uh, we just did an episode at Clubhouse with Alexis Nicole Nelson, uh, AKA Black Forager. On a button, that's her username on a bunch of different things. It was such an absolute delight. And if you missed it.

• 57:58Griffin McElroy?

  Such a treat.

• 57:58Travis McElroy?

  You gotta head over to McElroy Family YouTube and check it out there in the lives, live tab. It was so good. Super fun.

• 58:05Griffin McElroy?

  So you can't say, it's McElroy YouTube family is.

• 58:08Travis McElroy?

  McElroy, McElroy Family YouTube or McElroy YouTube family.

• 58:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 58:12Travis McElroy?

  Oh, and thank you to Montane for the use of our theme song, My Life is Better With You.

• 58:16Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah. I can really hum this, is what I'm saying. Like, I know it's not the most exciting one, but I can.

• 58:20Travis McElroy?

  It's gonna make a good noise.

• 58:22Travis McElroy?

  It'll be a good noise. Try it.

• 58:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I mean, absolutely. Okay.

• 58:24Travis McElroy?

  Now look.

• 58:26Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, over the shoulder?

• 58:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 58:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that was her new thing. Let me make sure it actually is empty. Hold up. Oh, no, it was not empty. That would have been disastrous.

• 58:33Travis McElroy?

  Wait, do you not have a bag in there and you're just emptying that into the can?

• 58:36Travis McElroy?

  Raw dog.

• 58:37Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's sticky city for good.

• 58:39Travis McElroy?

  There's no sugar in La Croix.

• 58:41Griffin McElroy?

  There's nothing sticky in La Croix. La Croix is, is, is neutral.

• 58:45Travis McElroy?

  It's the memory of flavor.

• 58:47Griffin McElroy?

  Here we go.

• 58:49Griffin McElroy?

  One. One, two, three.

• 58:52Travis McElroy?

  Frick, dude, you did that so angry. Very cool.

• 58:54Travis McElroy?

  So angry.

• 58:56Travis McElroy?

  Very cool. That's highly.

• 58:57Griffin McElroy?

  I hit my Garfield, I hit my Garfield phone.

• 58:59Travis McElroy?

  Highly jiffable. That's gonna do it for us. My name's Justin McElroy.

• 59:02Travis McElroy?

  I'm Travis McElroy.

• 59:04Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 59:05Travis McElroy?

  This has been my brother, my brother, me, Keith your dad, Square on the Lips.

• 59:40Speaker 07

  Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.