Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 760: ImMaxulate Conception About this episode Happy Easter – we’re pretty sure that’s canon! This year we’re celebrating with very specific spy training, celebrity-loaded sauce launch parties, and our continuing profound obsession with George Geef.
Suggested talking points: Faith-Based Content, Is Young Sheldon Smarter Than Einstein?, The Muscles Need to Know It, Pickle-Blasted Flexibility, I Think A Lot About Brain Stuff
National Immigration Project: https://nipnlg.org/
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
1:10 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody, and welcome to our Brother My Brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother Travis Vroom Vroom McElroy.
1:19 Griffin McElroy? I'm trying to decide, Trav, and maybe you could help me make this choice, whether or not to let that slide or make it part of it. Make it like a sort of diegetic part of the show.
1:29 Travis McElroy? I think it's part of it.
1:30 Griffin McElroy? Why did you say Happy Easter, Juice? Why did you start this? It's after Easter as we record this. I know that there's a gap between this.
1:37 Travis McElroy? Well, that was before the, that wasn't in the recording.
1:39 Griffin McElroy? It was. I said it. It is. Me and Travis.
1:43 Travis McElroy? Because now we've referenced it, it must be.
1:44 Griffin McElroy? It's diegetic.
1:45 Travis McElroy? Do you see how we did it? Because in my head, I was thinking about how I went to see the Minecraft movie with my kids.
1:51 Griffin McElroy? Uh huh.
1:52 Travis McElroy? And when I went to see the Minecraft movie, I saw that they were showing episodes of the Jesus TV show, The Chosen, which is. Oh.
2:00 Griffin McElroy? No, the other Jesus.
2:03 Griffin McElroy? And by the way, in the finale of Lost, when they reveal that it is Perfect Strangers? Just a huge Christian allegory. I felt personally betrayed by that.
2:10 Travis McElroy? Yeah, they were shown episodes of Chosen. It's a TV show about Jesus that has made $800 billion. And the other thing is- Is Jesus working with a detective to solve crimes? Because if not, I'm not interested.
2:20 Griffin McElroy? That kicks ass.
2:20 Travis McElroy? No, it's just the same story and we all know how it ends. But this is the, speaking of- Wait, Griffin, you didn't introduce yourself and now people are so confused.
2:28 Griffin McElroy? Thank you.
2:29 Travis McElroy? Okay, so I saw there's another flick called King of Kings and this is the story of- The Kingsmen. Oh, stop me if you've heard about this guy. Another Easter treat for everybody, a faith-based, faith-based film.
2:42 Griffin McElroy? This place was running two different faith-based pieces of programming or this, this cinema?
2:46 Travis McElroy? Yes, this is like, yes.
2:47 Griffin McElroy? Cool.
2:47 Travis McElroy? And I, yes. A lot of Christmas movies come out at Christmas. I don't see- Yeah.
2:51 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I guess so.
2:52 Travis McElroy? Ah, fair. Yeah, but this was pretty chilling. Just to be, just to see in the hallway, it's like-
2:57 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
2:57 Travis McElroy? A lot of faith-based content. I, I saw he grew up in that. I didn't love it.
3:01 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
3:01 Travis McElroy? But I was gonna blow this off. But then I started looking at the cast and guys-
3:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Yeah.
3:08 Travis McElroy? This thing's stacked, okay?
3:10 Griffin McElroy? Can you, but can you not reveal roles? Like, will you reveal some names and maybe we try to guess who the, who the Jesus is?
3:16 Travis McElroy? And can I just do a long shot? Is The Rock in it? Cause he seems to be in 18 movies a year or John Cena, one of those two. Uh, no, that's, that's amazing. There are a lot of vets. Like, there's a lot of like, voice actor, like Dee Bradley Baker legally mandated appearance, right? Wait, is this animated or live action? It is animated and it is, uh, the, the framing device is Charles Dickens is telling the story of Jesus to his kids.
3:40 Griffin McElroy? Wait, oh, hold on. That, that's real.
3:42 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
3:43 Griffin McElroy? Okay, I thought that was a joke that you came up with, uh, on the fly.
3:45 Travis McElroy? I'm just giving you, I'm giving you fair. Um, this is to be fair, okay? I'll tell you right now, Jay Man, I don't know if canonically in history, Charles Dickens would have cared about the story of Jesus, but less than that, I'm also not sure if Charles Dickens has kids.
4:02 Griffin McElroy? Does Charles Dickens got kids?
4:05 Travis McElroy? I don't think that your ignorance of Charles Dickens is necessarily a great basis for criticism of the film. Travis, like your unawareness of- It is not, he did. No, that was a criticism of myself, to be clear. Oh, okay. The Life of Our Lord is the book that Charles Dickens wrote about the story of Jesus.
4:22 Griffin McElroy? Okay, so I would say he has a vested interest, Travis.
4:25 Travis McElroy? Okay, so you now have all the pieces.
4:27 Griffin McElroy? Mr. Belief.
4:28 Travis McElroy? Play this, this amazing game. I'm gonna tell you some actors and I want, and, and yeah, Trav, you can guess. Okay. Where would you put, uh, now I'm, I'm just gonna give you a D. Bradley Baker is Willa, Willa the Cat. I don't think that's relevant to the story.
4:42 Griffin McElroy? Okay, okay. I had to remember that there was a Dickensian layer here because I didn't think that was in.
4:47 Travis McElroy? Where would you slot in, say, a big talent like Ben Kingsley?
4:51 Griffin McElroy? Oh, shit, Ben, Ben, Benjamin?
4:54 Travis McElroy? Benjamin Kingsley. I'll tell you, I'll tell you what's hitting me.
4:58 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
4:58 Travis McElroy? What? Pilot.
5:00 Griffin McElroy? Pontius Pilate?
5:00 Travis McElroy? Very close. Caiphas.
5:02 Griffin McElroy? Caiphas.
5:03 Travis McElroy? One of the classics. Now, where would you put in Pierce Brosnan?
5:07 Griffin McElroy? Not in, not in this film.
5:10 Travis McElroy? Well, you gotta put him in somewhere. He's in it.
5:12 Griffin McElroy? Not Christ. I, I could see him as a Barabbas, perhaps?
5:18 Griffin McElroy? A Barabbas?
5:18 Travis McElroy? Not a Barabbas? You think he's gonna get out of bed for a Barabbas?
5:22 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that's a good.
5:22 Travis McElroy? I'm going with Pilot, guys. I'm going with Pilot on this one.
5:27 Travis McElroy? Pontius Pilate. Correct, Travis. Pontius Pilate, played by Pierce Brosnan. Now, I can't keep guessing that, though. Now, what about Kenneth Branagh, though? Where would you put Kenneth Branagh?
5:36 Griffin McElroy? Okay, hold on. We're getting close to Christ territory as to, with how big these names are. Kenneth Branagh, huh?
5:44 Griffin McElroy? Is this an Oscar-bait Jesus movie, or what's going on?
5:47 Travis McElroy? Aren't they all? It is an Oscar-bait Jesus movie.
5:49 Griffin McElroy? Okay, I haven't heard of it. Dang.
5:51 Travis McElroy? An Oscar-bait Jesus movie for Best Animated Feature, though. Huh. I don't know. Where would you put Kenneth Branagh? I'm gonna say Judas. Charles Dickens. Oscar Isaac.
6:04 Griffin McElroy? Oh, my God.
6:05 Travis McElroy? That's Jesus. Yes, Travis, it's an Oscar-bait Jesus movie.
6:10 Griffin McElroy? Wait, it's.
6:11 Travis McElroy? Oscar Isaac stars as Jesus.
6:13 Griffin McElroy? Oscar Isaac is Jesus, that's.
6:14 Travis McElroy? So it's technically an Oscar-bait, because they, they got him to play the role of Jesus by offering him the role of Jesus. So yes, it's an Oscar-bait. He was also, I believe, in a Christian ska band called The Blinking Underdogs, so. So, yeah, we're getting some interesting context, like we learned about Uma Thurman. In this film, playing the role of?
6:34 Griffin McElroy? Um, I mean, Mary is sort of the only, um, one that jumps immediately to mind. Yeah.
6:40 Travis McElroy? Catherine Dickens.
6:41 Griffin McElroy? Damn it.
6:42 Travis McElroy? Sorry, forgetting about the Dickens. Dickens is a big part of this.
6:44 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, they sneak in there.
6:45 Travis McElroy? It's a big part. Forest Whitaker's in it.
6:48 Griffin McElroy? Forest Whitaker is in it. He's in it.
6:51 Travis McElroy? I'll give you a hint, he's the rock of the church.
6:53 Griffin McElroy? Oh, Pete. Pete.
6:54 Travis McElroy? Pete, Big Pete. Mark Hamill's in it.
6:58 Griffin McElroy? Oh, man.
6:59 Travis McElroy? Now, Mark Hamill has to be in it, because it is animated, but who would you, where'd you put Mark Hamill? The Joker? He's, yes.
7:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, he's the Joker in this.
7:07 Travis McElroy? Whoa, weird. The Joker.
7:09 Griffin McElroy? That's cool.
7:10 Travis McElroy? No, he plays, uh, he plays King Herod.
7:14 Griffin McElroy? Oh, okay. Makes sense, makes sense.
7:16 Travis McElroy? I don't think they got a big, uh, uh, this probably won't surprise you, but I don't think there's a, there's not a lot of big name actors lining up for the role of Judas. I can't believe it. They don't have a big one for Judas. Just doing full-blown Christoph Waltz.
7:32 Griffin McElroy? Christoph Waltz Judas.
7:33 Travis McElroy? Walton Goggins would be amazing as she is.
7:36 Griffin McElroy? Oh, yeah. The Great Betrayer.
7:39 Travis McElroy? Christoph Walton Goggins. Now, that would be, that's the guy I would hit.
7:42 Griffin McElroy? That's the guy, that's the guy.
7:43 Travis McElroy? I don't know if you guys have seen him a lot.
7:44 Griffin McElroy? That's the guy from Superbad.
7:49 Griffin McElroy? I'm looking at, can I look at the list now, Juice?
7:52 Travis McElroy? Yeah, please.
7:52 Griffin McElroy? Cause I, I do see Jim Cummings is in here as a Pharisee, and that's gonna be tough to hear, to hear Pooh Bear.
7:59 Travis McElroy? Oh, whoa. Oh, Jesus.
8:04 Travis McElroy? Bury the spear in his side. Or maybe he's doing it more as like the lightning bo, um, lightning bug from Tiana. Wait, not a group.
8:17 Travis McElroy? Is he another great Jim Cummings role? Maybe as.
8:20 Speaker 03 Well, Jesus, it looks like, Jesus, it looks like they're stuck on that cross.
8:26 Speaker 03 Why don't you, why don't you just bounce down?
8:28 Travis McElroy? The wonderful thing about Jesus is he's the only one.
8:35 Travis McElroy? He wasn't Gisborne Duck, was he?
8:38 Griffin McElroy? No. Gee, hey, Jesus. Maxie, get Jesus on down from that cross.
8:46 Travis McElroy? You guys are different.
8:48 Griffin McElroy? No, did you did goo? Oh, no, he played Pete.
8:51 Travis McElroy? Pete, I'm gonna go deep. Yeah, I was trying to find a Pete, but it wasn't there. I'll tell you, Jesus. That's. Here's the thing. Nail him to the cross.
9:00 Griffin McElroy? Oh, man, my dad's drunk again.
9:06 Travis McElroy? So that is the film. It's these things are getting pretty big. Also, I mean, Jim Cummings and I did share share a scene because he, I didn't realize this. He played Lord Boxman in OKKO.
9:21 Griffin McElroy? Oh, that's great.
9:22 Travis McElroy? And from, I was in that same, the same episode, the, the, a couple of episodes.
9:27 Griffin McElroy? Look at you.
9:28 Travis McElroy? All right. Look at me go. And listen, this is an advice show. This is not a show about the, the, this hit Jesus movie. Um, and I know what you're wondering, uh, how do they get all these big names? The answer is they gave them a lot of money.
9:42 Griffin McElroy? Billion dollars.
9:43 Travis McElroy? Martin might say, uh, thirty silver to be. They're also, they're also crowdfunded. So they make a lot of money. Okay. So here's the deal.
9:54 Travis McElroy? This is an advice show. All right. And we're going to take your questions and turn the Malcolm E. Lick into wisdom. We haven't forgotten our core competency. My neighbor and I are friendly with each other and our young children often play together. One day I saw them packing their van and he grumbled they were going to Disney World. He seemed very annoyed about the whole trip and complained his wife was making him go.
10:13 Travis McElroy? Few days after they left, he's texting me if I'd pull his garbage out in the street. I said, sure, as long as you take a picture with Goofy for me. I don't know why I said goofy. I'm not a goofy fan and neither is my kid. I was just giving him a little grief since he didn't want to go on the trip. Next week when they returned, I saw him in the yard and asked how the vacation was. He showed me the phone, which had an endless amount of pictures of his family with Goofy and Max. What's more is he said he got their autographs and was having it all framed to present to my three-year-old as a present. Oh, okay.
10:41 Griffin McElroy? Now I know where the question is.
10:43 Travis McElroy? Oh, no. Brothers, my boy has no idea who Goofy is, let alone his son. This was such a nice gesture, but it all came from a throwaway joke I made. How can I get my son to have a deep love of Goofy before they give him this gift? Oh, man. Oh, boy, this is a McElroy question. I've never heard one. Fuck a duck.
11:02 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
11:03 Travis McElroy? This would definitely happen to us. Jesus.
11:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, you really threaded the needle here. You've come to the right place.
11:11 Travis McElroy? Goofy is the safest choice to be like, take a picture with, because that's why I think just, I know this wasn't a question, but psychologically, you're like, maybe you did some subconscious like calculations. And you're like, I don't want to say Minnie or Daisy, because that would feel weird if I'm like, I need pictures of them.
11:32 Griffin McElroy? fetish adjacent, yeah.
11:33 Travis McElroy? And Goofy's the right pull. I don't know why, but it is the funny, like, sometimes with jokes, you gotta run through and like, I don't know why it is what it is, but like, Goofy is the pull. I don't know why, but it's Goofy, yeah.
11:47 Griffin McElroy? You can't make a three-year-old like anything, has been my experience. You could show them Goofy movie, but they might be hugely uncomfortable with the complicated social dynamics of, they don't get into that shit in these YouTube, in a YouTube video. They don't get into complicated family dynamics and kids today can't hang with that shit.
12:08 Travis McElroy? And there's a part where Max murders a man by swinging him into a giant thing of light.
12:14 Griffin McElroy? Kills a guy at the end of that film.
12:16 Travis McElroy? Yeah, the guy's trying to chase Max, they swing on rope.
12:20 Griffin McElroy? Doing his job as a security guard. This kid could have a bomb vest strapped to him trying to kill Powerline so that the president will notice him.
12:27 Travis McElroy? And this is my favorite, I love the Goofy movie. It's my favorite Disney animated movie. I'm wearing, I'm wearing a Powerline shirt right now. Is when they land on the stage next to Powerline. Powerline's like, what?
12:40 Griffin McElroy? What?
12:40 Travis McElroy? And doesn't do what I think anybody in that scenario would do, which would be to leave the stage as quickly as possible.
12:48 Griffin McElroy? Immediately. Let's security handle it. They can't because a child killed them?
12:52 Travis McElroy? That's correct. Now, you could do, I think the way I introduce my children to Goofy and every parent's. Every parent's approach to introducing their children to Goofy is different. I understand that. But I did inform them that according to Goofy's Wikipedia, he has had many names over the years, including George Geef.
13:12 Griffin McElroy? Henry only calls his full George Geef when he sees you. You guys really ruined him with that shit.
13:16 Travis McElroy? Yeah. And so when we went to Disney the first time and, you know, you have the people in character going around, meeting everybody. And I said, oh, here comes George Geef. And that just tickled my daughters to no end. And that I think is how I got the ball rolling.
13:33 Travis McElroy? You could also just play the two musical powerline scenes stand out and eye to eye without the complicated family dynamics. And those are fun. Those will get them. I've been trying to, I've been struggling with this problem in my house because my kids were on the YouTube. And I was like, I can't, I can't, you guys can't watch the YouTube anymore. Because I watched a documentary about how YouTube's bad. Oh, what? So I told them I can't.
13:58 Griffin McElroy? Don't, oh, man. Don't tell me what it is because then I'll feel compelled to watch.
14:02 Travis McElroy? It's like the family YouTube. So it's like, everybody knows. So Mr. Beast is still okay, right? All YouTube's is bad. YouTube's is bad because my kids will watch the shorts. It doesn't matter. I'm not judging. I haven't done any research on Mr. Beast recently, so. YouTube is bad for my kids for our decision. So we say, you're watching too much YouTube. No more YouTube. And my kids are like, pretty minimal to it. And then a week after the initial, you know, ranting and screaming, but about a week later, and this is just a couple of days ago now, I see Cooper and she is, um, sometimes I worry about oversharing, but she's watching Young Sheldon. Oh. Unironically.
14:45 Travis McElroy? Travis, she's on season two, episode nine.
14:47 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, you can't watch, you can't, I watch a season and a half of Young Sheldon.
14:52 Travis McElroy? She's on season two, episode nine. And to be fair, she is fast forwarding. What? It's on Netflix. So she does fast forward through any time where there's kissing.
15:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
15:04 Travis McElroy? But she has been fully, fully indoctrinated.
15:08 Griffin McElroy? There are a lot of kissing on Young Sheldon. Wouldn't think there's a lot.
15:11 Travis McElroy? Not kissing. Huge amount, but there is like anytime any relationship drama happens.
15:15 Griffin McElroy? Every episode has a deep tongue scene in Young Sheldon, which is fucking weird, man.
15:19 Travis McElroy? But most of the time it's in the background.
15:22 Griffin McElroy? It's happening extras. Yeah.
15:24 Travis McElroy? She came to me while I was brushing my teeth and she said, hey dad, I think Young Sheldon is smarter than Einstein.
15:32 Travis McElroy? And I said, go on, do tell. She said, well, did Einstein ever build a rocket? And I said, no.
15:39 Griffin McElroy? No.
15:39 Travis McElroy? And she said, did Young Sheldon ever build a rocket? And I said, I would have no way of knowing that. And she said, well, he did. And I said, well, it sounds like Young Sheldon is smarter than Einstein. And she said, but I think the kid from the Minecraft movie made a jetpack. So he's probably smarter than both of them.
15:53 Griffin McElroy? He's the smartest of all.
15:54 Travis McElroy? And I said, yeah, okay. That's the power ranking right there. Kid from the Minecraft movie, Young Sheldon, way down here at the bottom, Einstein. Well, Reed Richards, I think is right above Einstein. Thank you, Travis. Good point. Reed Richards, absolutely. Um, you can't, yeah. So you can't, there's, there's no hope here. Um.
16:10 Griffin McElroy? You can't make your kid like goofy. You can, man, when you get the gifts, just you take them. And then they'll be like, aren't you going to give it to your son? And you say, no, this is embarrassing. I'm a huge goofy freak. And I was too embarrassed to admit it.
16:23 Travis McElroy? No, don't say freak though.
16:25 Griffin McElroy? No, you do. I mean, own it. Say, I'm a big goof, I'm a nasty fucked up goofy freak. And this is the only way I get my jollies.
16:31 Travis McElroy? How did he smell? How did he smell?
16:33 Griffin McElroy? Explain the smell of goofy to me.
16:35 Travis McElroy? Hmm. Is this the hand that touched him? Is there any chance that you typed, take a goofy picture with a lowercase g? Cause then maybe you could flip it on and be like, no, no, no. Just like a fun one. Whatever you're like, that's not goofy. The one with the bill and he wears, wears the sailor hat.
16:50 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
16:52 Travis McElroy? The spinach guy here. She's got the big mouse ears and the red shoes.
17:00 Griffin McElroy? I'm proud to announce that goofy sour balls are back and better than ever. Oh, baby, you can definitely get those and I got them and then my son Henry laughed at me because I got balls, like he's at an age where that's very good for him. And I, I was like, I don't care. I'm not going to stand here and be judged. These sour balls really tickle my fancy.
17:21 Travis McElroy? I, I will say this, every, I have taken pictures with a lot of goofies.
17:26 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
17:27 Travis McElroy? Because my kids make my father-in-law do his goofy impression to goofy. And then I take a picture of it because it's good. And then I put the, and I have like t-shirts with pictures of my father-in-law with goofy on them. Uh, so, uh, I will say every goofy is a pro. Every goofy, here's what you can rest your shirt of whatever experience your friend had. It was not unpleasant.
17:48 Griffin McElroy? No.
17:48 Travis McElroy? It was like that goofy made it very easy.
17:50 Griffin McElroy? Made it special.
17:51 Travis McElroy? And especially if they can tell you're a virgin, they will make it like.
17:53 Griffin McElroy? So good for you. If they can tell that you haven't had sex at all, they're like, they can, they know it somehow. And then they are like so nice to you.
18:03 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
18:03 Griffin McElroy? The first time I went to Disney World, the first time I went to Disney World and I was like, I shouldn't be here. I haven't fucked. And then goofy came over to me and he put his hair, and guys, check this out. He talked. You never get this from these Disney guys walking around, but he talked. He leaned in really close and he was like, oh no, he said, I know it's, it's hard. Me too, pal. And then I was like, what about Max? Would it? An immaculate conception.
18:31 Travis McElroy? Immaculate.
18:33 Griffin McElroy? And then he walked away, but I felt like really cared for it. And then I felt like I could be at Disney World, even though I hadn't had sex.
18:41 Travis McElroy? I can't believe you made it past the scanners, Griffin, to get in.
18:45 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
18:45 Travis McElroy? Max just birthed fully formed from a bowl of high dad soup.
18:48 Griffin McElroy? He just like emerged.
18:51 Travis McElroy? My dad's soup is.
18:53 Griffin McElroy? Hi dad.
18:55 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, at the end where he falls down the waterfall and you, actually, if you turn the volume up, you can hear him shout, "But I haven't even fucked yet." And then Max catches him and reels him up and was like, "What were you saying, Dad?" And he's like, "Nothing, Max." I know our visits are getting a bit fewer and further between these days, but I would like to go to the wizard's house.
19:13 Travis McElroy? I mean, friends grow apart over time, Griffin.
19:16 Griffin McElroy? It's natural.
19:17 Travis McElroy? That doesn't mean he's out of your heart.
19:18 Griffin McElroy? Friends grow apart, websites redesign away all of their funniest stuff or close entirely. Like, the stuff happens, guys. But this one is, it was sent in by Abby, thank you, and it is how to actually become Jason Bourne.
19:33 Travis McElroy? Yes. Thank you.
19:35 Griffin McElroy? You don't have to wake up with amnesia on an Italian fishing boat in the Mediterranean Sea while being pursued by assassins to become Jason Bourne. In fact, you may be happy to learn that we recommend taking the route that involves zero assassination attempts.
19:47 Travis McElroy? Woo!
19:48 Griffin McElroy? I'm always afraid that I'm gonna read a WikiHow article and then it'll be like, "Kill," and I'll be like, "Fuck, okay, shoot."
19:54 Travis McElroy? All right, you're the boss. But it does, it does, there were a lot of factors in there, and the only one they negated was assassination attempts.
20:03 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, you do need to get amnesia.
20:05 Travis McElroy? Yeah, they do recommend being found in the Mediterranean Sea by a fishing boat with amnesia.
20:12 Griffin McElroy? Right, that part's easy enough.
20:14 Travis McElroy? I do wonder if I'm not, if, if like assassination is completely off the table, why am I learning to become Jason Bourne, right?
20:21 Griffin McElroy? For the other stuff, other stuff he can do. It's, he doesn't only assassinate people.
20:26 Travis McElroy? Yeah, but if someone's like, if I'm on the phone and I'm like, "It's me, Justin, and I'm very tough, just like Jason Bourne now."
20:33 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
20:34 Travis McElroy? And they're like, "I know you can't assassinate me."
20:36 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
20:37 Travis McElroy? That's off the table for you, right?
20:38 Griffin McElroy? I'm not intimidating.
20:39 Travis McElroy? Can I ask you guys a question?
20:41 Griffin McElroy? Sure.
20:42 Travis McElroy? A semantics question, perhaps? But is the difference betwixt murder and assassination just like notoriety?
20:52 Griffin McElroy? I don't know.
20:53 Travis McElroy? I think it's you're paid for it, right? Paid, paid work?
20:58 Griffin McElroy? I don't know.
21:00 Travis McElroy? Anyways, I just hope that someday I'm famous enough that when I am killed, it's assassination, I guess is what I'm trying to say.
21:09 Griffin McElroy? Uh, okay. How to become a real life Jason Bourne. Uh, the, the first few parts here are all physicality stuff and I'm not gonna do that. Uh, your regular cardio, whatever. Improve your strength by lifting weights. Like, sure, whatever.
21:22 Travis McElroy? Man, if I could do irregular cardio, I'd be excited, you know? Come on. If my desire to live longer hasn't done that, my desire to be Jason Bourne is certainly not gonna motivate that.
21:30 Griffin McElroy? Well, no, you can have the desire, right? Like, I, I don't do like regular intense cardio. Um, and I don't do like really heavyweights. I do some stuff in there. That stuff would probably make me feel so good if I did it enough that I wouldn't need a WikiHow article to teach me how to be Jason Bourne. If I was doing that stuff, I'd be a fundamentally different person and that person would not be on WikiHow, learning how to be Jason Bourne.
21:53 Travis McElroy? That's an excellent point.
21:54 Griffin McElroy? Choose a martial art.
21:56 Travis McElroy? Some person, one person who's never been on Wikipedia, learning how to be Jason Bourne is Jason Bourne.
22:01 Griffin McElroy? No way.
22:01 Travis McElroy? Like, that, it's unfathomable.
22:02 Griffin McElroy? No way. Um, so choose a martial art to study and practice. I could do this from a purely, um, you know, studious sort of research level and not like, uh, actually do it. Like, I could watch a lot of YouTube videos about, um, you know, Kali.
22:20 Travis McElroy? Is it in the muscles, though? Don't you need to get it in the muscle memory? Do the muscles need to know it? Cause that's the thing, when, I, I've seen the Jason Bourne movies a hundred times. And I don't remember him ever having to stop to think about how to punch a guy. I don't even know that he remembers how to punch a guy when the movie starts.
22:38 Griffin McElroy? Well, no, they put like a chip in his brain or whatever that makes him punch like super hard.
22:43 Travis McElroy? No, Griffin, that's the matrix.
22:45 Griffin McElroy? So learn a second language or more. This is good. Jason Bourne spoke German, French, Russian, Dutch, Spanish and Swedish. You don't have to speak all those, but picking up another language of your choice will give you that international man and mystery energy Bourne exudes. That'd be kick ass if in a Bourne movie, he went to, um, you know, Paraguay and then they started to speak to him and he was like, I'm sorry. Like, I don't do that one. I don't do that one.
23:07 Travis McElroy? He pulled out his phone and like, put in like Google Translate and he's like, you type it. Yeah, I only know Esperanto and English.
23:14 Griffin McElroy? Do you do Swedish? I can, I can totally throw down in Swedish.
23:18 Travis McElroy? You could probably pull this off if you named a bunch of common ones that lots of people know. And then at the end, you put the one you actually know. So you learn one obscure one and then you're like, yeah, I'm fluent in Spanish, French, Italian, whatever. And then. Czechoslovakian. I don't know if they, there's a separate lang- you know, one of the small- You can always just say Esperanto. It's the, it's the best, it's the best.
23:42 Griffin McElroy? So, next time you're up on a language learning app, just, you're becoming an assassin. Learn how to climb walls or rappel.
23:49 Travis McElroy? Hey Duolingo, if you're listening, putting that is like, and why are you into, oh, I like to travel.
23:53 Griffin McElroy? Don't know why you'd pick the one that has never advertised with us. I just don't know why you would pick the one that has never advertised.
24:00 Travis McElroy? Well, I'm sure you're advertising. We burned the other bridges, Griffin. We haven't even built that one yet.
24:05 Griffin McElroy? We didn't. We did a kick ass job with those bridges, but the market changed and more famous people opened up podcasts, but you picked the one that we haven't done? How are we gonna get-
24:11 Travis McElroy? And maybe that's, no, I support that though, because in a sense, what Travis is saying is like, the other ones have proven that they're thirsty for it. You know what I mean? Like, the other ones have proven that they, they will pay for it.
24:21 Griffin McElroy? Right, yeah.
24:21 Travis McElroy? And Duolingo won't. So, that's fine.
24:23 Griffin McElroy? That's fine, guys.
24:24 Travis McElroy? And they have a funny owl thing.
24:26 Griffin McElroy? We're not afraid to talk shop in here, guys. We don't, we're not afraid to let you in on the, what let you in on the process.
24:31 Travis McElroy? Our life is the podcast. Our life is our art.
24:35 Griffin McElroy? Learn how to climb walls or rappel. Born was a master climber. While we can't recommend you start scaling fire escapes and jumping from rooftop to rooftop, we can definitely suggest joining a local rock climbing gym. Um.
24:46 Travis McElroy? Sure. That's different from climbing walls, though, isn't it? Cause when you say climbing walls, I'm picturing a Spider-Man type. You're saying climb, climbable things.
24:56 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
24:57 Travis McElroy? You learn, well, we build from that, right?
25:00 Griffin McElroy? Sure.
25:00 Travis McElroy? But I'm saying fire escapes, ladders, I don't need to learn to do that.
25:04 Griffin McElroy? No, you can't use suction cups. You can't use suction cups when you're summiting. Like, they don't stick to the rocks and stuff. But Born uses suction cups a lot. I think if I went through all the trouble to train my body and learn a martial art and become an incre- and learn five languages and become an incredible spy, I would never try to go down the side of a building, cause I could fall and die. And then what was all of that work for?
25:24 Travis McElroy? Yeah. It does, it is, a lot of these are irritating a little bit because it's like, well, we did tell you to get in great physical shape first.
25:31 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
25:31 Travis McElroy? Okay.
25:32 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, sure.
25:33 Travis McElroy? If I, in this alternate world where I got super fit, I bet learning to climb like a rock wall would be very attainable for me.
25:41 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
25:41 Travis McElroy? Like, I do think that. If there was an article about how to be Batman and the first step was have billionaire parents. Sure, sure. Every step after that is like, you know what helps with that?
25:51 Griffin McElroy? But again, if I had a billion dollars, I would not be on WikiHow, learning how to become Jason Bourne. I simply would not.
25:58 Travis McElroy? You say that, Griffin, but billionaires get up to some weird shit in their free time.
26:02 Griffin McElroy? No, but I would be getting like, you know, micro, micro machines in my blood. That gives me power.
26:09 Travis McElroy? Micro, micro, micro machines?
26:11 Griffin McElroy? Micro, micro, just these big fucking monster trucks driving around my veins, making me climb walls real good.
26:17 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
26:17 Griffin McElroy? And speaks Spanish.
26:19 Travis McElroy? Pay Matt Damon to train you to be Jason Bourne.
26:21 Griffin McElroy? For a billion dollars, yeah, for sure. I can make them name the next Jason Bourne movie, Griffin McElroy Returns, and then I would be it by default. Sharpen your situational awareness and memory recall. This would be cool.
26:33 Travis McElroy? With this one, honestly, I could use this right now.
26:35 Griffin McElroy? If I could aug my brain like that, again, same thing applies, wouldn't be here.
26:41 Travis McElroy? Shouldn't I sharpen my memory recall before I start taking on these additional languages? Like, if there is a path to that, I should definitely sharpen that toolset.
26:50 Griffin McElroy? Griffin.
26:50 Travis McElroy? Before I do the language thing. Is there a hyperlink there possibly to a Wikipedia about how to stop having ADHD? Yeah. Could be very useful to me. Click the monkey to learn how to stop having ADHD.
27:05 Travis McElroy? The next one, okay. Yeah, yeah. P.S. Your ADHD is 100% what brought you to this article in the first place. You have a 15-minute lunch break, Jason.
27:16 Griffin McElroy? I'm gonna text you guys the image for this next one. The next one is get into parkour and learn how to run with style. And I don't know if you guys are seeing this, but the image that they've chosen shows a red-haired man who has launched himself forwards, head first, legs up in the sky, akimbo, Peter Pan style, down a flight of stairs. There is no reality in which this illustrated gentleman lands this trick. He is about to eat shit.
27:41 Travis McElroy? He's about to. Lose a lot of good teeth. I've also zoomed in on this man's face and it very clearly reads us, oh shit.
27:49 Griffin McElroy? Oh shit. Why did I jump like this face down, ass up? That's the way I like to die on these stairs. Dumb ass. Um, parkour is also really intense cardio exercise. So it gets two, two birds with one stone. Thanks, article. Thanks for the life hacks of this discipline you made up. Dress in unprovocative clothing with dark colors. Already pretty much doing that. Uh, I will say no graphic tees on Jason Bourne. Some of my wardrobe may have to go. But, um, keep your hair short, but decidedly unmilitary.
28:20 Travis McElroy? Okay, okay.
28:22 Griffin McElroy? Not sure.
28:22 Travis McElroy? I don't see why that makes me more of a Jason Bourne. I guess, sure. All right. Yeah, I like that description though. Like that if you're telling me that when I watched the first, the Jason Bourne prime, that I am to look at him and think, yeah, but it's not a military haircut. No, no, there's no way like, there's no debate. That's not a military haircut. I always. That would also given him too many clues to the Bourne identity.
28:47 Griffin McElroy? Correct. That's the Dr. Army Man.
28:51 Travis McElroy? I'm clearly some sort of army man. Look at my hair.
28:54 Griffin McElroy? Look at that. Smart. I must be a doctor army man. Can you?
28:57 Travis McElroy? My hair is too long for an army man. So clearly not an army man. You could see they shaved the word army in the back of my head. It's obvious. Is this the library? Have I ever worked there? I feel like I'm a library man, maybe.
29:09 Griffin McElroy? Nope. Elps shit. I gotta jump up this building.
29:12 Travis McElroy? Do you know about any pet stores?
29:14 Griffin McElroy? I also, I always have a moment of panic anytime I go to get a haircut and they ask me like, what do you want? Um, now I have something that I could say it, just like have it loaded in the chamber. I want it short, but decidedly unmilitary. And I think I might get exactly what I need. Obtain at least a passing interest in firearms. I do like how WikiHow has couched this. WikiHow recognizes it can't say get gun crazy. It can't say that sort of, uh, you know, responsibly. But at least a passing interest in firearms.
29:47 Travis McElroy? Griffin, I um, thought I knew where that statement was gonna go.
29:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
29:52 Travis McElroy? Because one of the defining features to me is Jason Bourne's uh, collection of passports.
29:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
29:59 Travis McElroy? Then it also occurred to me that probably WikiHow for many reasons can't be like, get yourself a bunch of counterfeit passports.
30:08 Griffin McElroy? That's a very, very good point Travis. Um, reading the next goddamn point of this WikiHow. Get another passport. If you don't already have a passport for the country you live in, start by getting your passport. That's actually good. Thank you so much for that. Then if you have the time, money and effort, find another country to try and establish residency. If you have relatives living abroad, look into the residency requirements there. You can normally get a passport if you have family already living there. You can buy your way into a passport in several countries. Uh, some countries offer very easy routes to citizenship. They're not saying Travis, forge fake documents in this, I would say, uh, wild world that we live in. They are saying responsibly become residents of many, many nations.
30:52 Travis McElroy? Wouldn't it have been amazing if Jason Bourne had opened his safety, safety security box or whatever?
30:57 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
30:57 Travis McElroy? And started flipping through 20 passports that all said, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne. And he was like, oh, I guess I'm.
31:07 Griffin McElroy? Perfect. And then a letter from his uncle in, in Paraguay that's like, here's the passport. You're a citizen now. I love you Jason.
31:15 Travis McElroy? Good talk. It's been Jason Bourne. Come visit me anytime, Jason Bourne.
31:20 Griffin McElroy? Good talk, fraulein. It's me, German man, Jason Bourne. Oh, god damn it. Look, he's put stickers all over his passport pages. There's no way we can read these numbers. Focus on your mission and always have a goal. This is where the wheels come off a lot for me is that now it's like, okay, now you're Jason Bourne. Here's what you're gonna do with it. And they don't have a great answer because they also can't say, you know, kill, kill your fellow super soldiers.
31:48 Travis McElroy? Well, at that point, it's coming from your contact of the CIA, right? Because I assume that when you get recruited to the CIA to join the Bourne program, you're handed. I guess a card with this WikiHow URL written on it. And they're like, let us know when you're done reading it and then we'll give you an assignment.
32:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that is a good point. A lot of these are just kind of productivity hacks. Focus on your mission and always have a goal. Sure. Maintain a cool, calm demeanor at all times.
32:14 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
32:15 Griffin McElroy? I see Jason a little hyphy. Like, he does get, when he's like trying to kill a guy with a rocket launcher, he's, I don't know how chill Jason Bourne is.
32:24 Travis McElroy? That's why Griffin, at the end of every Jason Bourne movie, he sits down with his journal and writes up like, had another slip up today. Got mad again, gotta keep working on it.
32:33 Griffin McElroy? The post-credit sequence. Uh, make eye contact and speak with confidence and do everything with conviction and self-assuredness.
32:39 Travis McElroy? Oh, cool.
32:40 Griffin McElroy? That's cool. Yeah, I can definitely just flip that switch, but also I want to be in that job interview. They're like, you're the perfect candidate. Honestly, we have never interviewed anybody with this much conviction and self-assuredness. You made eye contact the whole time. You speak with confidence. You're quint- quintale- lingual. You have incredible skills and you're so focused. What's your secret? And they say, well, I model my whole life on this one WikiHow article about becoming Jason Bourne.
33:08 Travis McElroy? Anyways, I'd love to work here at Best Buy.
33:11 Griffin McElroy? I would love to get this job at Best Buy. There's one thing that they did get kind of nasty on. This is the last point in the article. Be prepared for geopolitical events or disasters. So WikiHow's leaving a little bit of sunlight in the room, a little bit of oxygen for a chance. It suggests, and all that other stuff about kicking ass and jumping up buildings and all that spy shit. You might, there might be a thing that happens.
33:35 Travis McElroy? You never know.
33:35 Griffin McElroy? Keep your eyes, keep your eyes peeled.
33:37 Travis McElroy? But I will also say that this is the equivalent of like going to a professional sporting event and hoping that someone on the field is going to notice you in the stands and be like, this guy. Because I'm pretty sure, even if I, as an amateur civilian, trained myself to be a peak Jason Bourne type, and then there was geopolitical unrest.
34:00 Griffin McElroy? I wouldn't get better.
34:01 Travis McElroy? If a CIA agent saw me like walking around or some kind of government official, they wouldn't be like, hey, you look like you could be a Jason Bourne. Come over here, I got a mission for you.
34:09 Griffin McElroy? I mean, that's his whole shit.
34:10 Travis McElroy? That's how it works.
34:11 Griffin McElroy? That's his whole shit, though.
34:12 Travis McElroy? He was recruited by a government agency and trained by them.
34:17 Griffin McElroy? I guess so. We're splitting hairs pretty hard here.
34:20 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I, I, I wanna call, I wanna call foul on this whole article, Griffin, if I could.
34:26 Griffin McElroy? Sure, yeah.
34:27 Travis McElroy? Wait, you're trying to disprove a WikiHow article? Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna try, I, I think I can do it pretty authoritatively if we look at the Bourne franchise. Okay. We have The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, The Bourne Ultimatum. That's Matt Damon's triptych.
34:39 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, right.
34:39 Travis McElroy? Matt Damon's trilogy.
34:40 Griffin McElroy? Those are the ones with the Jason Bourne in them.
34:43 Travis McElroy? Yeah, those are the Jason Bourne ones, right?
34:44 Griffin McElroy? That's my mnemonic device.
34:45 Travis McElroy? The next movie is called The Bourne Legacy starring Jeremy Renner.
34:49 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
34:49 Travis McElroy? Matt is not appearing. Is he Jason Bourne? No? No.
34:52 Griffin McElroy? He's Jackson Bourne.
34:54 Travis McElroy? Jason Reborn. The tack, the tagline of this film is, "There was never just one."
35:00 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
35:01 Travis McElroy? And then the next movie is called Jason Bourne, starring Matt Damon.
35:04 Griffin McElroy? Huh.
35:04 Travis McElroy? And Jeremy Renner's not in it, cuz there was just the one Jason Bourne. What I'm saying is, the movies that are about Jason Bourne could not make another Jason Bourne plausibly.
35:16 Griffin McElroy? No.
35:17 Travis McElroy? They desperately would love to get the much cheaper Jeremy Renner.
35:19 Griffin McElroy? They wanted to have a whole, whole Bourneiverse, but it's simply, the interest isn't there.
35:23 Travis McElroy? Listen. The interest isn't there. They can't make another Jason Bourne. There's just the one. And I also feel like, seeing that the last Bourne movie, Jason Bourne, was filmed in 2016, I do have the strangest sense of feeling like I didn't appreciate the Bourne movies when they were coming out.
35:37 Griffin McElroy? Didn't even know that there was one in 2061. I feel bad.
35:39 Travis McElroy? I know, right? It feels like, shit. Don't it all? If I could go back in time to when they were making the poster for The Bourne Legacy, I would have pitched the tagline, "There was never a Jason Bourne."
35:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
35:53 Travis McElroy? The one of the first movie of The Bourne Legacy is Jeremy Renner waking up like, huh, huh.
35:57 Griffin McElroy? What?
35:58 Travis McElroy? Yeah. It's him watching The Bourne Identity and going, "I'm gonna be just like that." He turns off the movie of the Bourne, the third Bourne movie, like, what a great film. I wish I could do that. And then when they made the new Jason Bourne movie after that one in 2016, the tagline was, "Oh shit, it's real?" The first scene is Matt Damon turning off the end of The Bourne Legacy. Like, I can't believe they got it so wrong. Anyway, back to work. Let's take a quick break. We're gonna go to the money's there. We'll be back right after.
36:40 Travis McElroy? Guys, I've got another brilliant, like, million-dollar website idea. Another one? Yeah, but I don't know how to get started. I don't, I have no idea where to get started. I just have the kernel, the whisper. What you need is a garden. You need an idea garden where that can take a purchase. Yeah. Where it can grow and flourish. And Squarespace is the way to do it. A little square space of land where you can plant that idea Uh huh. And watch it grow into a beautiful, beautiful pornographic business. Thank you. What do I water it with?
37:22 Griffin McElroy? Pornographic water.
37:23 Travis McElroy? Okay. Well, Travis, you'll water it with the water of ideas from world-class designers that have created website templates that are gonna make your website look really good, even if you don't know what you're doing, because they know what they're doing. And you can just put your pornographic images. Yeah. Your pornographic stories. Yeah. Whatever, adult material, Travis. But can I sell my pornographic time, Justin? Yeah, Travis, anything you want to sell, Squarespace makes it really, really easy. Or just get the idea out, even if you're a business. Squarespace can, can help. Whatever you need to do, this is the place to start. When people ask me, how do I make a website? And they do, all the time. They say, Justin, how do I do it? I say, go to Squarespace.com/MyBrother for a free trial.
38:09 Travis McElroy? And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Don't wait anymore. Get that idea. Get it out there. Stamps. You love them, I love them, but man, I tell you guys, if I go and buy them at the post office, I always end up eating them on the way home.
38:30 Griffin McElroy? It's tough, dude. They shouldn't put food on stamps.
38:35 Travis McElroy? That's a problem. Yeah, well, I start licking them, right, to get them ready for when I need them.
38:39 Griffin McElroy? Right, it's the main action is soak, it's so eating-adjacent already.
38:44 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I, they had Dungeons and Dragons stamps at my post office, and I had to ask for Dungeons and Dragons stamps. Yeah. I had to ask another person to sell. Tell me those. Think about it. Were they delicious? To face to face. Were they filling? They were delicious. Okay.
39:03 Griffin McElroy? These are not problems if you use stamps.com. This is good. Establish a need and then fill the need. And this need we've established is you will eat. You will eat a stamp if you drive home with them. You simply will. Stamps.com handles all your mailing and shipping needs. Wherever, whenever, you can get access to all the USPS and UPS services. You need to run your business or your life, I guess, right from your computer or phone. Anytime, day or night, no lines, no traffic. All you need is a computer and a printer. They even send you the free scale that we've been telling you about. And you can get rates you won't see anywhere else, like up to 88% off USPS and UPS.
39:41 Travis McElroy? And you're not going to believe some of the new flavors they've got lined up. There's a Chipotle mayo.
39:46 Griffin McElroy? What?
39:46 Travis McElroy? A guava lime madness.
39:47 Griffin McElroy? Oh, yeah.
39:48 Travis McElroy? So, yeah, there's so many great stamp flavors that you can get online that you're not going to find in store. Where you're just going to have nacho cheese, coriander, some of the usual.
39:58 Griffin McElroy? Have more.
39:58 Travis McElroy? Pickle blasted.
39:59 Griffin McElroy? Have more.
40:00 Travis McElroy? I do like the pickle blasted ones.
40:02 Griffin McElroy? Have more pickle blasted flexibility in your life with stamps.com. Sign up at stamps.com and use code MYBROTHER for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com code MYBROTHER.
40:15 Travis McElroy? And it says here in the copy, make sure you don't tell people to eat stamps.
40:19 Griffin McElroy? Oh, no. Oh, well, we can't possibly record and add a second time.
40:25 Speaker 04 Who's ready for some science? With sauces and nuance.
40:33 Speaker 05 And some funny jokes from me.
40:37 Speaker 05 And some funny jokes from me.
40:39 Speaker 06 Let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too.
40:43 Speaker 04 From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins.
40:45 Speaker 06 From quantum physics to the history of swearing. As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.
40:51 Speaker 05 And some funny jokes from me.
40:53 Speaker 04 Me, Caroline Roper.
40:54 Speaker 06 Dr. Ella Hubber.
40:55 Speaker 05 And Tom Lum.
40:56 Speaker 04 So join us next time where we will learn about. Everything.
41:05 Speaker 06 You playing a video game right now? Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG.
41:10 Travis McElroy? Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.
41:13 Speaker 06 Been there. I'm Maddie Myers. I'm Jason Schreier.
41:16 Travis McElroy? And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.
41:20 Speaker 06 A podcast you can listen to while you do other things. Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games. On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games. And breaking news out of the video game industry.
41:34 Travis McElroy? And we also talk about other stuff besides games.
41:37 Speaker 06 So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click.
41:41 Travis McElroy? Listen on maximumfun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.
41:56 Travis McElroy? I want a Munch Squad.
42:00 Travis McElroy? I want to Munch Squad.
42:05 Travis McElroy? Welcome to Munch Squad's podcast, or then podcast, profiling ladies, graces, and brand eating. Guys, how do you? Be real with me. How do you feel about Glenn Powell? Where you at? You know, Justin, if I'm being completely honest, I feel an absence of feeling about Glenn. Had to Google him. Had to Google him just now. Sorry, everyone. Glenn Powell is counting on. And then Griffin, after you Googled him. Yeah. Did you have the realization that this guy's been in like? A million. A lot of movies, but you never really, he doesn't really stick in the brain, does he? For a long time, Justin, I thought Glenn Powell had been the guy that played the younger brother in the TV show Titus. With Christopher Titus. But I think that was a different guy who has similar features, but is a different human being to Glenn Powell. Am I?
42:50 Travis McElroy? Yes, that is a separate person. Yeah, I haven't, I don't think I've seen any of these flicks, but I thought, I got him confused with Glenn Beck for a second. And then I thought, this is an audacious question to ask us to start out the Munch Squad segment is how do you feel about Glenn Beck? So Glenn Powell is launching a new line of sauces. Of what? Glenn Powell is launching a new line of sauces. I didn't realize it was a tongue twister until I started saying it. Glenn Powell is launching a new line of sauces.
43:23 Griffin McElroy? I think that's iambic pentameter.
43:25 Travis McElroy? Uh, yeah. Glenn Powell is launching a new line of sauces called Smash Kitchen. And this, guys, the sky was dark at the launch of Smash Kitchen because the stars were all out to celebrate Glenn Powell's new line of sauces. Now, before I get into the party. Wait, is this in conjunction with somebody or just Glenn Jimon had an idea for a sauce?
43:47 Griffin McElroy? For a cool sauce.
43:48 Travis McElroy? So everyone's favorite actor Glenn Powell that everybody knows and loves about. He realized this. American families and the pantries where their meals begin deserve better. Oh. Too many go-to staples are packed with unnecessary additives, artificial nonsense, and things no one can pronounce. With that realization, Powell assembled a team of seasoned founders who set out to fix that, creating a line of organic, non-GMO pantry essentials that bring wholesome, crave-worthy flavors without the junk. Oh, okay. The new line is exclusive, available now only at Walmart.
44:21 Griffin McElroy? Awesome, dude. I've been sweating this stuff big time lately.
44:26 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's been a big, real problem. All the GMO stuff and all the clean eating and everything is a real thing for Glenn.
44:35 Griffin McElroy? Real concern for Glenn.
44:36 Travis McElroy? Now they only have GPOs. Glenn Powell Organ.
44:42 Travis McElroy? I've pulled together a full report here. Glenn did talk to Martha Stewart about this. Said, being out in LA, I think I just became a little bit more aware of what was in my food.
44:51 Griffin McElroy? Fuck off in the biggest way possible, dude.
44:55 Travis McElroy? Actually, Glenn Powell, go eat a huge pile of shit.
44:57 Griffin McElroy? All the shit you can see in the whole world.
45:00 Travis McElroy? Especially when you're cooking and entertaining people, you want to give them the best. Actually, fuck off the hell.
45:05 Griffin McElroy? Fuck off, pal. Seriously.
45:07 Travis McElroy? Glenn. You and you, I'll tell you what, you and Katy Perry getting a sauce-powered rocket blast off right to fuck, who cares?
45:13 Griffin McElroy? I guess, uh, living in LA, I, uh, pay a little bit more.
45:18 Travis McElroy? What does that have to do with anything?
45:21 Griffin McElroy? As an LA guy.
45:23 Travis McElroy? In LA, you tell me.
45:23 Griffin McElroy? As an LA guy. Think a lot about brain stuff.
45:31 Travis McElroy? Growing up around epic barbecue feast at our family ranch in Texas. Food was always an expression of love, said Glenn Powell, co-founder of Smash Kitchen and co-star of Twisters. That's my editorializing, but he was in that, believe it or not. Through fitness, I became more aware and educated on better for you food.
45:51 Griffin McElroy? Oh, cool.
45:51 Travis McElroy? So basically what Glenn is saying is because he has the time and money to pay a personal trainer, he now knows what to put in your ketchup.
45:58 Griffin McElroy? And because of his sort of geographic location, he knows a little bit more about food than you do.
46:04 Travis McElroy? I'm reading between the lines here, and I think what Glenn Powell is trying to say is I started working with a guy who lives in LA, who told me what I should and shouldn't be eating.
46:14 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
46:15 Travis McElroy? Right. I got a brand deal for sauces. It was clear to me, we needed to make a clean condiment brand. No second guessing, just great flavors that connect us to the moments we love.
46:25 Griffin McElroy? Second guess, Glenn. Glenn, you're creating food for people. Think twice, please, Glenn.
46:30 Travis McElroy? You should do, not just like, put that in it. Wait, but what it, why do you mean, wait, Glenn, no.
46:38 Griffin McElroy? Put this root in the sauce. What is the root?
46:40 Travis McElroy? Lots of sand. I don't know. Sand just popped in my head. Sand. Hey guys, I got a live report. I want to talk more about this, but I got a live report. Coming from the, from the party. So I just want to, we're going to interview some of the, we already talked to Glenn. If you guys could, I've got, I got Leo over here. At the sauce launch party, Leonardo DiCaprio came to Glenn Powell's sauce launch party. So here's an interesting thing. Apparently Glenn Powell knows that Leonardo DiCaprio killed somebody and hid their body. Cause I can't think of any other reason Leonardo DiCaprio would be at Glenn Powell's sauce party, but he's there.
47:14 Griffin McElroy? He doesn't do a ton of endorsement.
47:15 Travis McElroy? Behind the two of them who is unnamed, but does seem to be really enjoying, hold on. So we got Leonardo DiCaprio was there. Aaron Paul came to this Walmart sauce launch party. And here's this Josh Duhamel hiding his entire That's not who that is. His face. That could be anyone. Oh, fuck. I love the sauce. Glenn. Good job, Glenn. Glenn, you didn't say anything about photos. Sorry, what was my name? Josh Duhamel. Everyone's posing at the sauce launch party. Everyone loves the sauce. Here's Josh Duhamel, he's fixed his hat. That's the real Josh Duhamel. That's the real Josh Duhamel. And yes, look, guys, he's even, yeah, Angela from The Office came to this sauce launch.
48:00 Griffin McElroy? Hell, yeah.
48:01 Travis McElroy? She played cornhole. You're fucking kidding me. Anthony Ramos was there. What a star setting event. And get this. His parents came to his party.
48:10 Griffin McElroy? Oh, that's nice. I like that.
48:12 Travis McElroy? The family ranch in Texas. Let's talk about some of the flavors. You got organic hot honey ketchup, organic spicy mayonnaise, and organic hot honey BBQ sauce. Now, remember, when you see organic, what that means is nothing. Smash Kitchen is all about balance. Real food made better without sacrificing flavor. That's, that's actually good to hear because I don't want to buy printed out pictures of food. I want real food. Thank you very much.
48:39 Griffin McElroy? Real stuff.
48:39 Travis McElroy? I can't eat a picture of ketchup.
48:42 Griffin McElroy? Unless it's a stamp.
48:43 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's true. Mehta, who is co-founder and CEO of Smash Kitchen. We weren't trying to reinvent ketchup or mustard. We just wanted them to taste the way they should, using high-quality, organic ingredients. Now, I will draw your attention to the paragraph just before in this same press release, which reads, Smash Kitchen reimagines classics like ketchup, yellow mustard, mayonnaise, and barbecue sauce. So they are both reimagining it, but not reinventing it. Yeah, I do like, once again, this is what I'm looking for in a thing because it should taste the way it should. If I eat ketchup and it tastes like mustard, I'm perplexed, if not off put. Condiments are just the beginning, said Sean Kane, the co-founder and president of Smash Kitchen.
49:24 Travis McElroy? Our vision is to transform the entire pantry, bringing delicious, organic options to every shelf, one category at a time. Yes, Sean Kane, you have seen into me, the deepest heart of the American consumer, who wants nothing more than shelves and shelves. Glenn Powell's face. Please try my milk. Try Glenn Powell's milk. And listen, I'll tell you. Powell pickles. Smash kitchens really got their finger on the pulse if they make sure that each of these things costs at least a dollar more than the store brand counterpart that contains basically the exact same thing. They don't just have their finger on the pulse. They have their finger on the poles. Lauren Paul and Aaron Paul were there.
50:02 Griffin McElroy? And we don't know that Glenn put a finger on these two. I mean, it's true.
50:06 Travis McElroy? You know Glenn.
50:08 Griffin McElroy? I don't, I don't like that.
50:10 Travis McElroy? Let's not say things about Glenn Powell. We can't back up like he's a huge asshole peddling anti-science nonsense.
50:16 Griffin McElroy? I, I don't want a company to, to decide what I think ketchup should taste like. I feel like that decision has been made for me by the way the ketchup from all these companies tastes. If I get some salty, tomatoey water out of Glenn Powell's bottle, that's not, you can't say that's, sorry, guys. The other stuff is bullshit. This is that real ketchup. Nothing but squished tomato, water and some salt.
50:42 Travis McElroy? They pretty much figured that out to the point when I go to a restaurant and they have like in-house made ketchup and I'm like, what were you doing? Just, just there's a bottle and it has like a tomato and some leaves on it and it says ketchup and that's all I need.
50:57 Griffin McElroy? That's the only ingredient I need in ketchup.
51:01 Travis McElroy? I'm going to send you guys, by the way, a picture of Glenn Powell and Zach Ward, who was in the title show, side by side, and you tell me that they're different people.
51:09 Griffin McElroy? Have you been working on that particular?
51:11 Travis McElroy? Only for five to 10 minutes.
51:14 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
51:15 Travis McElroy? Justin, can I tell you, it's so wild that you brought that up, that event, that Smash Kitchen launch event, because we've got events coming up.
51:24 Griffin McElroy? Oh, really?
51:24 Travis McElroy? I'm, I'm not going to say that Aaron Paul and Anthony Ramos and Josh Duhamel are going to be there, but there's not a 0% chance that they're going to be there.
51:37 Griffin McElroy? True.
51:38 Travis McElroy? Because they could be anywhere. I don't know.
51:40 Griffin McElroy? Be anywhere at any time.
51:40 Travis McElroy? I don't know where that Joshua Mel could be in the house with you right now. Lock your door.
51:44 Griffin McElroy? Hiding his, hiding his face.
51:46 Travis McElroy? Hiding his face. He could be there behind you. Don't turn around. He hates that. But tickets are on sale now for our shows in Michigan, Minnesota, and Ohio. All Taz shows are gonna be Taz versus during this tour. And yeah, man, get all the information, get all the ticket links at bit.ly/macaroytours. We're gonna be at Origins Game Fair in Columbus. We're gonna be at Dragon Con. And we're gonna be in Huntington, West Virginia for the Harmony House Renaissance Festival happening, I believe, May 2nd?
52:17 Griffin McElroy? 3rd.
52:18 Travis McElroy? 3rd. So come there, get a chance to see us, depending on how much.
52:23 Griffin McElroy? Bit.ly forward slash Harmony House Ren Fair with an E.
52:26 Travis McElroy? Yes.
52:27 Griffin McElroy? Is where you can go to get tickets.
52:28 Travis McElroy? And for all the information and tickets about our live shows, you can go to bit.ly/macaroytours.
52:33 Griffin McElroy? Thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song, "My Life is Better With You." It is the number one single across the whole globe on every country's charts in now, like this week. So like, that's huge for, for Montane, and it's huge for us. So thank you, Montane.
52:49 Travis McElroy? Uh, we have a, a final thing that one of our listeners wants to be faster than. We've gotta find, what are we, how are we saying this? Now, there's gonna be a smoother, gonna fear?
52:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
53:00 Travis McElroy? Okay. Fear. This year, I wanna be faster than my fear of all the old dudes swimming laps at the public pool. They may be strong and fast, but so am I. Fuck yeah. My name's Justin Mc.
53:11 Griffin McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.
53:13 Travis McElroy? This has been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad, square on the lips.
53:50 Speaker 06 Maximum Fun.
53:51 Travis McElroy? A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.
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