James Sexton, Matt McCusker & Rick Glassman - Mostly Wise #4 - #1156

In the fourth episode of Mostly Wise, we explore: If there is any sexual tension between clients and divorce lawyers. Why Rick can't hook up with someone he isn't in love with. Where all the hot goth girls up and disappeared to. The craziest clauses found in James' clients' prenuptial agreements. How to talk to your partner about gaining weight. Gen Z's big problem with being the most sexless generation. And much more... Guests James Sexton is a New York-based divorce attorney and author, known for his expertise in family law and insights on marriage and divorce. Matt McCusker is a comedian, writer, author and podcaster. Rick Glassman is a comedian, actor, and podcaster. Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: ⁠https://chriswillx.com/deals⁠ Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Get up to $350 off the Eight Sleep Pod 6 at https://eightsleep.com/modernwisdom Get 160+ lab tests for just $365 and save an extra $25 at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get ChatGPT to explore ideas, solve problems, and learn faster at ⁠https://chatgpt.com Timestamps: (00:00) The Problem With Blowjobs and Granola (08:16) Why Being a Divorce Lawyer Is Surprisingly Sexy (13:39) Who Is Fred Rogers? (17:07) Do People Hide Their Friendship With James? (20:29) Why James Tailors Every Case to the Judge (26:28) Does James Ever Feel Guilty About Winning? (30:06) Does Rick Need to Have More Casual Sex? (42:13) Why Funny and Attractive Is So Hard to Find (54:31) Are Modern Dating Standards Getting Ridiculous? (58:50) The Craziest Prenup Clause James Has Ever Seen (01:04:31) What Are Women Demanding in Prenups? (01:13:42) Can You Tell Your Partner They’ve Gained Weight? (01:17:06) Are Personal Politics Ruining Relationships? (01:28:19) Did Donald Trump Really Miss His Son’s Wedding? (01:32:15) Why Keeping Score Kills Relationships (01:42:09) Do Women Hold the Power in Sex? (01:46:35) Does Rick Always Call Out Unspoken Subtext? (01:50:55) Why Being Funny on Set Is Harder Than It Looks (01:55:34) What Happened to Multi-Cam Sitcoms? (02:00:16) What’s Britain’s Most-Watched TV Show? (02:06:21) The Most Unreal Inverse Icks (02:16:50) Why Is Rick So Good at Basketball? (02:25:47) Rick’s Post-Sex Service (02:37:06) The Fascinating Timing of the C*m Run (02:39:12) How Do Vasectomies Actually Work? (02:48:51) Is Jerking Off Gay? (02:52:12) Have Young People Stopped Masturbating? (02:59:14) Where to Find Everyone Extra Stuff: See me live in the UK & Ireland this October: ⁠https://chriswilliamson.live Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: ⁠https://chriswillx.com/books⁠ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: ⁠https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom⁠ Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins⁠ #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson⁠ #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman⁠ - Get In Touch: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast⁠ Email: ⁠https://chriswillx.com/contact⁠ - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Chris Williamson?

  People of the UK and Ireland, I'm coming to you live. Imagine that, me on stage in your city. Dublin is completely sold out, but everywhere else has got limited tickets left and you can get yours now at chriswilliamson.live. This is a custom-built live show. I absolutely adore it. I've spent over a year working on it. So if you're a fan of everything modern wisdom, come and see me on stage this October around the UK and Ireland. Chris Williamson.live.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  You're like a regular here now.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Congratulations on the gig, man.

• 0:25Speaker 02

  Appreciate it.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Is he paying you?

• 0:27Speaker 02

  No, we figured it out. They don't worry about it, man.

• 0:29Speaker 03

  He only comes with counsel presence.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  I'm a half-owner in New Tonic now.

• 0:31Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 0:32Chris Williamson?

  What's your problem with blowjobs and granola? I keep on hearing.

• 0:35Speaker 02

  My problem with blowjobs?

• 0:37Speaker 03

  It's no problem at all. No, it's so blow. This is like, this story blew up. So I was representing a woman and she, I'd been a lot of miles with her. It was an ugly divorce. She was like a successful, you know, finance person in New York City, very put together, two kids, husband who was in finance. Husband was kind of a train wreck. We didn't realize it. He was getting like a big bonus check every year and he unbeknownst to her was just putting it in a secret bank account that she didn't know about and then going to Vegas and just blowing it up, couple hundred. This guy, like I, if I could like go back in time, I would love to have seen this guy's nights out in Vegas. Cause when I finally got the receipts and stuff of it, he was blowing like a buck fifty,

• 1:19Speaker 03

  200,000 in one night at like Dow, like just shirt off on the, you know, with bottles, like crazy. She had no idea. And um, so ugly divorce, cause we had to prove wasteful dissipation of marital assets, try to get one half of that back.

• 1:33Chris Williamson?

  Wasteful.

• 1:33Speaker 02

  Wasteful dissipation of marital assets. Balling out, basically balling, balling without.

• 1:38Speaker 03

  Burning, burning money that was supposed to be marital money and you get it half back. That's your understanding of it.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Wait, what do you mean, when you say marital money? What's happening?

• 1:48Speaker 01

  I didn't know you were a vest.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  So what you're, so basically if, if like you're a team and your partner is out there spending buck fifty, 200K at Tao, just basically shirt off, blowing all your wads. Not like double fisting, like that, it's more like.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Drinks, bottles.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  No, that just felt.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  What about, what about daily?

• 2:06Speaker 03

  It's okay. It's brought up something for me, I don't know.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  What about daily Amazon packages? What about daily Amazon?

• 2:11Speaker 01

  That's called DAP and it depends on if it's for the family or for yourself.

• 2:15Speaker 03

  No, we actually made a successful argument that like someone buying a lot of Birkin bags and shoes was wasteful dissipation of marital assets.

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, so you flipped it on the babes.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, we flipped it on her. But anyway, I was representing this woman and she basically was like, thing was falling apart, did the divorce custody case, kind of ugly. And we'd been a lot of miles together and we were sitting on a lunch break and had gone to Starbucks and we were waiting for testimony to start again. And I just was making small talk with her and I said, oh, like, was there a moment in your marriage where you knew it was over? Like where you just felt it was over? And she said, yeah, my, my, I remember it. And I was like, oh, what, like, what was it? And she said, like, you know, there was this granola that I used to put on my yogurt every morning and my husband, whenever like I was running out of it, he would buy it for me. And it would just, it wasn't something he'd like ask for, you know, good boy points on, like it was just something he would do and it made me feel very loved and seen. And then one day, like the granola ran out.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  She's like, and I just was waiting for him to like refill it. Like I wanted to give him the chance to refill it and he just didn't. And I, made me realize like, oh shit, this thing's going down.

• 3:17Chris Williamson?

  Yes, Rick?

• 3:18Speaker 01

  Question.

• 3:19Chris Williamson?

  Even back?

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Tell me if, who disagrees with this statement? It's wonderful that your partner recognizes the things that are important to you, but when you recognize that your partner doesn't notice it, instead of playing the game of, will he discover? And instead you say, hey, I don't have any granola, could we get granola? And see how he responds to that as opposed to playing a game.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  Well, to be fair, he didn't get the granola because he's probably getting a double blowjob in Las Vegas.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  Well, we know this now.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  But this was when she realized it was over before she knew that.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  I think it's the difference between like a woman saying to you, do you think I look pretty in this dress? And her walking in and you going, wow, that dress. Like it's, it's the, if you had to solicit it, there's this feeling that you, you needed to do that and now it lost something, right?

• 4:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, but, but there's nothing wrong with needing to do something.

• 4:11Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  If, if I, if I want you to recognize I have granola, I would say, hey, listen, we're out of granola. I know you're busy, you're double fisting it at whatever you're doing, but like this is important to me. Next time, could you just take a look? And if, you know, I think.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  Well, but yeah. But also you're, what are you saying is there was a thoughtful, there's a thing where she was like, he's thinking about me.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think she felt because she never asked for it and he did it and he didn't even ask for like, like, hey, look what I did for you. It just made, it's just a feeling. It made her feel seen and loved.

• 4:41Chris Williamson?

  It was the granola in the coal mine.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  It was the granola in the coal mine. And I said to her.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  My wife sent me this thing.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  Cause we were having this chat and I said to her, but, but the PS of it is actually good that your wife sent it to you because I said to her like, oh, like, you know, is there anything like that that you did for him? And she went, yeah, blowjobs. And I like spit my fucking coffee out, cause I was not expecting her to say that. And she was like, yeah, like when we were dating, like.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Should've swallowed your coffee.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  I gave him a lot of blowjobs, you know?

• 5:07Speaker 02

  And he never asked?

• 5:09Speaker 03

  She's like, no, and he didn't have to ask, like she said.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  How did you know I wanted this?

• 5:12Speaker 03

  I used to just blow.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Not yet.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. But she said, I used to do it in the morning.

• 5:17Chris Williamson?

  It's a fifth birthday party, get out of me.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  We're in church, come on, yeah. No, she.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  So she was just blowing them left and right?

• 5:23Speaker 03

  She said, when we were first dating, she was like, I just used to like, you know, I used to like just give them, it took like three minutes in the morning and he'd be in a good mood all fucking day. And he would like text me and be like, oh, it was so hot this morning. And you know, like, I, I think there's something to be said about the idea of just like unload the gun, you know? So I think that she was like, yeah, and then at some point I just stopped. It wasn't like a conscious decision. It was more like, you know, oh, like, well, when he comes home tonight, we'll have sex and we both get to enjoy it. Like I don't owe him a blowjob and like, you know, I don't owe, she doesn't owe me the granola, but there was this shift in the relationship. And that, that's why I was like, look, I'm not trying to say like buying granola and blowjobs is the same level of effort.

• 6:00Chris Williamson?

  Symbolically.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  But it's just something that you don't have to do and that you.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  But you don't have to, you don't have to buy it every time. Like one blowjob doesn't last for 10 comes. Eleanor Roosevelt.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, it's secondly not, if you have a mouth, it's free.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Artisanal blowjobs.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Also, three minutes for a blowjob, am I, am I, is there something wrong with me?

• 6:19Speaker 03

  It might be picky. You know what I mean? Like it might be, yeah.

• 6:22Chris Williamson?

  Because you've got stamina of bull.

• 6:24Speaker 03

  That's what it might be.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  But a blowjob in three minutes is very quick unless it's like, it's like American pie and it's naughty of sucking you off.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  So you're saying it takes you a lot longer?

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Okay. A lot longer. Depends if she's funny or not.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Oh, I thought, okay, sorry, receiving, receiving.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Oh, we slammed you.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  How is that even?

• 6:39Speaker 02

  He said you were.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  I have a question. Oh, I'm not assuming anything.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  Why is it a slam to assume that I'm gay?

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not at all.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  It's definitely a slam.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  What, what's a slam about that?

• 6:49Speaker 03

  What's wrong with that?

• 6:50Speaker 02

  We're talking about.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  You want to know?

• 6:51Speaker 02

  Through the classic.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was a slam.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Can I, can I? Do you have that much hate, that much hate in your heart?

• 6:57Speaker 01

  I want to talk to you about the rampant homophobia that's going on and what people think is the red pill world.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  What is that?

• 7:05Speaker 01

  His ear.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, he had, he had a prop ear ready.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  He's ready to go.

• 7:09Speaker 03

  He brought props?

• 7:10Speaker 01

  I am a ha.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  He's going carrot top boy.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  He's going carrot top.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  I keep, I keep props in all my pants in case I go on stage.

• 7:17Chris Williamson?

  Speaking of props, I, I got, I got insect stick that looked like cigarette.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  I was wondering what was going on there.

• 7:23Chris Williamson?

  And a fucking jug lighter, come on, come on now.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Well, that's, yeah. The question I have, and I don't know if she can disclose this, like did she, who slowed up first? The granola side or the blowjob?

• 7:34Speaker 03

  I said to her, like with chicken or the egg, like was it granola or the blowjob? And she said she really didn't know. She, she said the blowjob probably, like that. And she really didn't, it was interesting. She was kind of humble about it that she was like, yeah, I don't know why I did that. Like, oh, I stopped. She's like, I probably shouldn't do.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  It stopped, it started taking longer than three minutes.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  That might've been it. It might've been. I mean, it might, I think it actually is that just like life gets in the way sometimes and people stop paying attention.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  What the fuck is this?

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I kind of like it. Yeah. It's going right at him.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Would headphones kill us? There's four people talking over each other and I'm saying the funniest stuff.

• 8:08Chris Williamson?

  I should've tested this before I did it on the pod.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  I think it's nice, it's a nice touch.

• 8:11Chris Williamson?

  It's good, it's just.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, that, that video went crazy. That video, yeah, video blew up. Now, what is the sexual tension like in these meetings when you're sitting with a woman who's probably scorned in some capacity?

• 8:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  Thinking about like telling you all of her husband's weaknesses and shortcomings.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  And you're like the knight in shining armor.

• 8:28Speaker 02

  Exactly. Yeah, you're a lawyer, saying in front of her, being like, yeah, what a fucking jerk.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  Um, they, they definitely get like a crush on you, but you would never find a woman attractive when you're her divorce lawyer, cause you just see the absolute worst parts of.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Don't you want to see that now? I would love if a first date was showing up as like, hey, this is what, this is what it's like when it's bad. And like, oh, I can handle that.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, I'd be, I mean, it would probably be really healthy to see upfront, like, okay, what's this going to look like on the really like?

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, when we get divorced.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  That's why I'm really rude on first dates.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, there is some.

• 9:03Chris Williamson?

  They say start as you start at the end and work backward from there. So begin with divorce level.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  That's why I'm really rude on first dates.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, when you first date, you have like spanks on your personality.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  You're really being cautious and I, I think there's a lot of value. It's why I said to you when last time we talked, it was like, I'd talk about a prenup on the third date. Like I think right away that you need to start getting that discourse out there about like, what is the economy of this relationship? What's the intention? Like what are we going to owe each other? What do we want from each other? Or like, what do we, I don't mean that in an unromantic way, like in a sense of like, what, what are we both think is meaningful in this connection between the two of us?

• 9:39Speaker 02

  That's unromantic though.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  How?

• 9:41Speaker 02

  A knight, it's not chivalrous at all to be like, what the fuck are you going to do for me? You have to go, my lady, I love you, you can have everything I have.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, but I also think it's about like, what do, what do we mean to each other? What do you need from me? Like what am I gonna like, like, where, where can, cause economy to me is like, we're trading value and it's like, we're both bringing something really like.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  Drying her up. You're drying her up right now.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  I'm not really rude on a first date.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  It's like what I, it's just like I pledge my life to thee. Yeah, you have to be a knight and just be like, take all my stuff.

• 10:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  You can have it all.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  I think it's important that you show up as you are.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  So you definitely didn't have a prenup then, yeah.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Never.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  You should show up as you really are. And if that's who you really are, then you should do that.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Exactly. And I personally think it should be zero, 100. The girl should get a hundred percent of your money to start out.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  The woman.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, the girl.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't like that. I don't like, I don't like bringing economics into something as beautiful as.

• 10:35Chris Williamson?

  You just have. And it's a hundred to none.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Well, economics is in it. It's all or nothing.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  I mean, it's in it no matter what.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  Everything is in economics. I give you my all, it's not economics, it's love.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  I give you my all. Everything is in economics. It's love is great merch. Thank you.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  I, I believe that. I said, take it all.

• 10:50Speaker 03

  I mean, it's good for my business model.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Cause I think the more that people dive into the idea of like, we're in love. That's all that matters. Our connection is everything. Everything that is yours is mine.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Well, that would be 50 50, not zero, 100. Cause if it's, everything is yours is mine, it implies some stuff is mine.

• 11:09Chris Williamson?

  Depends how good your divorce attorney is because you can get to 100, zero.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  Pretty, pretty. It also depends on how empathetic you're, the, the, the, the team that's now separating is.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Well, I, I like, what I like is you can have everything caveat. If you cheat on me, I get to kill you.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  To kill you?

• 11:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, legally.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  Would you wanna do that?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Huh?

• 11:30Speaker 01

  Would you wanna do that?

• 11:31Speaker 02

  If I was betrayed, I'd want the option. I wouldn't, I wouldn't exercise, I wouldn't exercise it right away, but you know.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  You mean right away? How long does the option last?

• 11:38Speaker 02

  I'd wait like six years.

• 11:40Speaker 03

  Sorry, sorry.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  I'd wait till she started a new relationship.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  Why?

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Okay, sorry.

• 11:44Chris Williamson?

  Can you try and find, it's a way that medieval times they did marital disputes and the man had to be in a hole in the ground. And the woman had to have a sock and it was like a public fucking display. And this was how they actually settle. Have you seen this?

• 12:00Speaker 03

  I haven't, but it's.

• 12:01Chris Williamson?

  Medieval Germany, some legal fight books, uh, illustrated a rare form of trial by combat where a married couple could settle severe marital disputes. Yeah. Click on that.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  So you have to.

• 12:11Chris Williamson?

  The husband was placed.

• 12:13Speaker 03

  With a sword though. Brother.

• 12:14Chris Williamson?

  Go back.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  She has a sock. He has a sword. That seems unfair.

• 12:17Chris Williamson?

  Yeah. So the husband was placed in a, waist deep in a pit or hole in the ground with one arm tied behind his back. He was given three wooden clubs, but he had to surrender one club each time he touched or stepped outside of the pit. The wife was allowed complete freedom of movement around the pit and she was armed with a heavy stone or a brick sewn into a cloth sack or a sling.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  That feels really sexist though. It doesn't respect women athletes.

• 12:38Chris Williamson?

  The handicaps were designed to level the physical playing field between the man and the woman.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  I don't think that's cool at all.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  So you, oh no, so you're in a pit with a stick and she's on ground with a rock in a sock.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  And you've got one arm tied off.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. I would destroy.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  You get three clubs.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  You still think you can take it out.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  I feel like people just throw stuff up online and then we're like, did you know this used to happen?

• 12:56Chris Williamson?

  This was in 1467.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. I feel like this was like two stone dudes were like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna draw like a diagram and we'll be like, it's somebody who's gonna totally fucking believe this. Yeah.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  I think that's not a bad, that's not bad.

• 13:09Speaker 03

  I mean, it's less arbitrary than the current system.

• 13:10Chris Williamson?

  This side of the table, a little bit more creative. I'm just saying so far.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  That was it.

• 13:14Chris Williamson?

  It's sort of very litigious over there.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  We're academics.

• 13:19Speaker 03

  I'm comfortable with a litigious label.

• 13:20Chris Williamson?

  I imagine so. How do you feel about being litigious?

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Dude, I couldn't.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  He's wearing a cardigan. I don't.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  Can you be litigious in a cardigan?

• 13:28Chris Williamson?

  For me.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  Put it on for us.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  It's very Mr. Rogers.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Oh, see, I just watched, I just watched that movie with Tom Hanks a couple of nights ago. Yeah.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was good, right?

• 13:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  He has a little bit of Forrest Gump in him. I'm like, oh, it's the same guy.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I watched the, the, somebody put up on like a clip of like Mr. Rogers at that, like that.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's been going around.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  It's been going around.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Oh, I saw the one in the court.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. No, this was like him, like, like giving an acceptance speech at the Emmys. And it was like this beautiful clip of him. Like he just had this ability to say the simplest thing and make everyone in the room cry from how beautiful it was. Cause it was just like the most basic sentiment where he was like, I, I just, everyone who's here, if you could just take a minute and think about a person who helped you get here today.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  How proud that person must be that you're thinking of them. And you're listening to it, you're like, you know, but it, I just, I don't know. Like, I don't think there could be another Fred Rogers.

• 14:18Chris Williamson?

  I don't know who Mr. Rogers is.

• 14:21Speaker 03

  That explains a lot about you.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  I think.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  You don't know Mr. Rogers?

• 14:24Speaker 02

  He's the most like British American person.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Instead of shaming him, why don't you just tell him? Then he does know.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  How do you tell someone who Mr. Rogers is?

• 14:31Chris Williamson?

  For a long time, I thought Mr. Rogers was the guy that narrated his own painting tutorials.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  Bob Ross.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Close.

• 14:37Chris Williamson?

  Yes.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  Mr. Rogers.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  Similar energy though.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, similar calm vibe.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:41Chris Williamson?

  Okay.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. He's like, the way I can describe him, he is like a very, he's not a pedophile.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  No.

• 14:48Chris Williamson?

  That's always a great disclaimer upfront.

• 14:50Speaker 02

  He's not, but he like, I sometimes, it's weird. Like he like comes in every day.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  He says that because he loves children and I think that's why you needed to say that.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  Description I have ever heard of who Fred Rogers is.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  The guy is not a pedophile.

• 15:01Chris Williamson?

  Okay, but pedophile adjacent.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  But if you would.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  No.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  No, no, this is a terrible description.

• 15:06Chris Williamson?

  Okay, this side of the table.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  He's also not Chinese.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  If you found out, if you found out he was. If you had, apparently he's like the best guy in the world.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  So he, he believed that, that, uh, life, uh, comes with pain and sadness and anger. And instead of pretending it doesn't, or trying to coddle children into thinking like, hey, you'll be safe. It's, it's basically teaching them, uh, about self-regulation and your feelings are important and valid. And if you're hurt, you're allowed to be hurt. You're supposed to be hurt. What do we do with that hurt?

• 15:36Chris Williamson?

  Like the anti David Goggins.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Yes. He was kind of, he was, he was teaching children to have a basic emotional vocabulary in a way that no one else was.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  And, and a very beautiful way to where though it was directed for children, uh, depending on where you are in your, in your life's journey. You'll probably still discover tools if you don't adopt them exactly, but questions to ask of like, oh, that's interesting. I, I am projecting this. I am, I am, I don't know where to put this feeling. And instead of like swallowing it and like just not needing it, just like acknowledge it. And it really like, he's, he's beautiful. He's wonderful.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  But he starts the show by taking his shoes off.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Which is, which is where I got the name of my podcast, Take Your Shoes Off.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Really? So you're, you're a big Mr. Rogers head?

• 16:21Speaker 03

  That's the cardigan.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  True.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Homage.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  I didn't know anything. I just, I remember his shows, a guy would come sit down, take his shoes off and I'd be like, look, I would change the channel.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  A lot of people judge it. A lot of people thought he was just some like this little, uh, sappy kid show. I think some people, although the Muppets now get a little bit more respect.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  Muppets are, Muppets are better than Mr. Rogers for sure. A hundred percent. Jim Henson.

• 16:40Speaker 03

  Also not a pedophile.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  Not a pedophile at all.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  Just wanted to just. I just feel like we now need to identify.

• 16:46Chris Williamson?

  Everyone's, everyone's getting. Did lead with that for the Muppets. He did need to lead with that for Mr. Rogers. I'm wondering why.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  No, he did. He said that for Jim Henson.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  Okay, miss, yeah, he's, I'm just saying, he's just, he's not either. It's just.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  Let's just.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  Everyone's getting called.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  If someone's a pedophile, we'll identify that first.

• 17:00Chris Williamson?

  The no hypothesis is.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Assume they're not a pedophile. Cause I feel like the stories are gonna get, they're gonna start so weird for the rest of this.

• 17:07Chris Williamson?

  I have a question. I have a question. So we went to dinner the other night and I wonder whether people who are friends with you or become friends with you, whether they need to hide their friendship. From, from being friends with you, because I went for dinner with Luke the other night and he wasn't sure whether or not he should tell his wife.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:22Chris Williamson?

  Because you're away for a couple of days in New York on a business trip. And when she says, oh, what did you, where did you go for dinner? Who did you go out with? And you say, I went out with one of the biggest divorce attorneys in New York City. The optics.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:36Chris Williamson?

  About being your friend publicly when married, I think has bad optics. Do you, is this something that you have to navigate?

• 17:43Speaker 03

  You know, I don't have a lot of friendships. So that's like, that's makes it easy. Like it kind of makes it easy. No, I don't, I don't really have a lot of. Yeah. I don't, I have like a lot of, um, I don't have a lot of room for, for, for like socializing. I think that was like the first time I've gone out to dinner with someone in, in a while. But I think.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  Who paid?

• 18:02Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Who paid the bill?

• 18:03Speaker 03

  I think you did. Yeah. Yeah. You did. But it was one of those things like where you grab the check. It was kind of a.

• 18:08Chris Williamson?

  It was a speed shooter.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  It was.

• 18:10Chris Williamson?

  Situation.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  You pay for the bill, he gets the house.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  I, I like to try, yeah.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. I always try to like, like get, go to the restroom and then give it to the.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  She don't want, she don't want 50 50.

• 18:18Chris Williamson?

  That's the, uh, like Irish goodbye equivalent of paying the bill.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  Huberman did that the other night. We were out to dinner and he.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  Snake it from the.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  They brought the thing over with his card and I was like, what the fuck was that? And he was like, oh, I got it.

• 18:30Chris Williamson?

  That's, that's, that's a great name.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  You know what I do? He knew it was gonna be our thing.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  I have a move now where I go to the, to the server, uh, at the beginning, I say, will you go to, and I give the order of like, talk to you first and then maybe you, then you. And say, uh, ask if they want to secretly pay the bill. And like a lot of times they say yes. And then they pay the bill. And when it comes, I'm like, what the hell? I mean, you could have let me, what are we doing here?

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. I do it, I do it often. And then I go, I go, if I knew you were gonna split the bill, I would have gotten the filet. And everyone laughs and.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  It's a good move.

• 19:01Chris Williamson?

  You've got bits at dinner now. You've got like entire small structured segments.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  I have a fake ear in my pocket, buddy. What do you think? And no friends. Yeah, I got bits.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  And he's not a pedophile.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  I actually.

• 19:13Chris Williamson?

  Very important.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  I must ask you something.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Is this new?

• 19:18Speaker 03

  That, that is new. Yeah, yeah. And something I'm trying out.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  Mustache.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:23Speaker 01

  You would look sick with a mustache, by the way.

• 19:25Chris Williamson?

  You would look sick with a mustache, yeah. You would look like you have an illness.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  I don't know any trial lawyers with a mustache.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  There's a couple that have the like, oops, I didn't know I was sexy stubble. You know, they do that thing. Like, but I can't, I can't do, I'm going for the, yeah, you guys are.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  I don't know what you're talking about.

• 19:39Speaker 03

  The whole crew's rocking that, except me. I'm the only one.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  Oh shit, I'm so sorry, I forgot to shave.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  But I get it. Like, that's like a, the women love that. But yeah, I go for the like, you know, I go for the inherit the wind, you know, kind of vibe.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  It's good. It's like a very, because you have to, you have to be kind of a blank slate when you're a trial lawyer, because you're dealing with judges that are like, you know, the old school, like, old white man. And then you have like a lot of, because it's an elected position, you have a lot of like, you know, uh, women and diverse, you know, bench now. And you kind of have to go in with this like, okay, I gotta figure out how to be something for all of these.

• 20:12Chris Williamson?

  Like middle of the bell curve, like, you know, this guy.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  If it were all women, would you have a little bit of stubble?

• 20:19Speaker 03

  I mean, I do, I don't think you wanna be.

• 20:20Chris Williamson?

  You'd sex it up a bit, remove a couple of the top buttons.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  I don't know that you wanna be sexy. I think you wanna be.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm out.

• 20:27Chris Williamson?

  Some people, some people can't help it.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Do you face like the divorces, this might be a dumb question, but do they ever go to jury?

• 20:33Speaker 03

  There's no such thing as jury work. It's all bench trials.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  What's that? What is that?

• 20:37Speaker 03

  It's the judge.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  You and the judge.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  You're persuading the judge. Yeah. There's one member of the audience and they're wearing a black robe and that's it. And it's, that's the only person you're going for. I mean, theoretically, like, I feel like I'm trying to manipulate everybody in the room, because I feel like the court reporter, the court officer. Like, each of those people, they're gonna, when we leave the courtroom, they're gonna go with the judge.

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  And I feel like they're gonna say like, yeah, Sexton was like, kind of a dick.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  Do you, do you have a?

• 21:03Speaker 03

  So I want them to, to all feel good about me.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  Do you have like an alternate playbook for like, you know, if you have like a lady judge or just like a normal judge?

• 21:09Speaker 03

  Totally, totally.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  A little stubble for a lady judge.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  There's an old joke that a good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge. But what I think they really mean by that is like, you know, like, there's some judges that like, I know they're really into sports. So I'll infuse my arguments with like, yeah, the, you're gonna, counsel's throwing a hail mary pass on that one. Or your honor, he's trying to do an end run around the rules of evidence. Like, and you try to like, play with some judges, like, you know, okay, they like the show. Like, they like the performance, so they want me to go in and be snide and cross-examine someone and do the like, you know, you can't handle the truth kind of thing. And some of them, they're like, they don't like that at all. And you need to go in and be very like, yes, your honor, your honor, like, very like, genuflecting.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Do you feel like one sex sides with the other any sort of way, or?

• 21:49Speaker 03

  No, I, I will, a lot of men think, oh shit, we've got a female judge. And they're completely wrong.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  Because women are merciless to women a lot of the time.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  I can see that, yeah.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  And I've had judges.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  I disagree.

• 22:02Speaker 03

  I've had female judges who will say like, like, we'll go into chambers with just the lawyers and off the record. And they'll go like, uh, you know, if your, if your client is seriously trying to persuade me that she needs alimony, maybe she shouldn't have worn Louboutins to court today. I hate that. No dude would notice that.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  I hate that. I genuinely hate that.

• 22:20Chris Williamson?

  Why do you disagree?

• 22:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, why do you hate that? Well, first of all, I just think putting out there that women are merciless to women is just, it's setting female athletes back a lot.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  It is a lot.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  They are. Look, watch WMEA.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  It feels very Sydney Sweeney.

• 22:32Chris Williamson?

  Look at the Sydney Sweeney case.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  That's, that, but there's, there's a lot of, no.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  Dude, you're in your LA bubble right now.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  No, man, women, women.

• 22:40Chris Williamson?

  To be fair, they did support Lindsey Clancy way more than men did.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Listen, man, good lawyers know the law, great lawyers know the judge. And at the end of the day, no, I'm being serious. At the end of the day, your job is the same as my job. It's to show up authentically with the facts and omit the stuff that will make our clients look bad. And I think it's all manipulative. And if we all change the playing field into saying, here's what it really is. We don't have to worry about who has stubble and who's wearing Louboutins. All we have to worry about is each other. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

• 23:17Chris Williamson?

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• 23:59Chris Williamson?

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• 24:16Speaker 01

  But women definitely hate each other. It's a fact.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  Women are, women are, I, I think women are women's worst, you know.

• 24:23Chris Williamson?

  Female judges dish out harsher sentences, longer sentences to women on average.

• 24:29Speaker 01

  Okay, never mind then.

• 24:31Chris Williamson?

  I'm just, you know, you said about the facts.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  You're also looking at a judge, like, so judges that work for the state.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Where'd you make that up?

• 24:37Speaker 03

  They only make a certain amount.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Hold on. Where'd you make that up from?

• 24:40Chris Williamson?

  Stop cross-examining me.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Where, where?

• 24:42Chris Williamson?

  You spent half an hour in his presence and you feel like.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  It's just by osmosis.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Good lawyers know the law, great lawyers know the judge.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  And they carry a mustache in their pocket. You just never know when you're gonna need one.

• 24:55Chris Williamson?

  I'm scared about what else is in the pocket.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  So in terms of a, let's say, lady judge, would you lean into that? Be like, oh, nice judge.

• 25:01Chris Williamson?

  Lady judges just feel so antiquated.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Look at, oh, we got a lady judge.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  I also made a.

• 25:06Chris Williamson?

  Where are your Louboutins?

• 25:06Speaker 01

  I also made a joke, no one picked up on it. I said, lady judges and regular judges. And everyone was like, yeah, fucking that sound. Didn't hear it. I think, I think we would benefit from headphones.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  I was waiting.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Sorry.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  No, I, I felt like actually, I, I understood what you meant. Like, because the image that most people have, you're like, imagine a judge. It's like an old white dude in a black robe. He's got gray hair. Like, that's what you imagine. Like, when I started 27 years ago, that's what all of the judges looked like. Like, that was all of them.

• 25:31Chris Williamson?

  Accurate stereotype.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was totally accurate.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  When did they drop the powdered wig?

• 25:35Speaker 03

  You know, in our system, we never really had the powdered wigs.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  They still use it over there.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, they still do. You have barristers. Well, they also have a distinction between like a lawyer and a barrister. Like a barrister, like a, I always make the distinction that I'm a divorced trial lawyer. So like, a divorced lawyer, like the majority of divorced lawyers, they're negotiating a transaction. They're like helping people mediate something. They're drawing up contracts. Like a trial lawyer, like, I go in and, you know, like, put on the show. Like, I cross-examine witnesses. I, you know, do direct testimony. Like, I, I do argument in court. And that's a much smaller subset of lawyers. That's the equivalent of like an English barrister. Like, the ones who go in, wear the wig, do the whole thing. It's like they're a courtroom lawyer and it's a totally different animal.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Is it the same saying over there? Like, a good barrister knows the law, a great barrister knows the judge?

• 26:23Speaker 03

  I don't know. Yeah. But, but it would also be with the, the cool accent, you know, so it'd sound.

• 26:28Chris Williamson?

  Do you ever feel guilty? If you've absolutely torn someone and you won, they're just totally dead.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 26:33Chris Williamson?

  No guilt?

• 26:34Speaker 03

  Never.

• 26:34Chris Williamson?

  No emotion?

• 26:35Speaker 03

  No. No, it's, I mean, I don't always believe in the client. Like, I represent the client and I represent the system. I don't always believe in the client, but I believe in the system. Like, I believe in the idea.

• 26:45Chris Williamson?

  I don't know what that means, but it seems like it gets you off the hook.

• 26:47Speaker 03

  No, I think that, I think that we, our system is designed, our legal system is designed with the presumption of innocence. And it's the burden of proof, the concept of the burden of proof, and the right to zealous advocacy within the bounds of the law. So like, there's a rule set. There's rules of how evidence gets brought in. You can't go into court and say, I talked to someone who mentioned to me that he saw this guy do this thing. Like, there, there's, you have to be able to confront your accuser on cross-examination. You get to like, only certain types of evidence are competent, credible evidence. So we have rules and I, I like those rules. The truth has a way of coming out, sometimes despite my best efforts. Like, people pay me a lot of money to go in sometimes and just throw up smoke and mirrors and red herrings.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  And there's only so much I can do, because the facts have a way of coming out. Like, a mediocre at best lawyer, armed with real facts, is gonna kick my ass. Because the facts just have a way of coming out sometimes. There's not, you can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig. Yeah, so, but, but to do a, like, a very solid, like, all that facts are in a trial is, is like ingredients. And a good chef can take, you know, great ingredients and make something incredible out of it. But you can't like, make something amazing out of garbage ingredients. So I don't feel guilty about it, because I, I think that I believe in the way we do it. I think we have, you know, it's like, our, our legal system's like our democracy. It's the worst one, except for all the other ones. Like, I think it's, we, we have a good model and it works.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  You put lipstick on a pig, it's a lady. It's a lady judge, maybe. I don't condone that.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  That's gonna cost him a trial.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  I don't condone that. So you said you're playing the game and you know, you're not, you don't feel guilty because these are the rules that we all have to abide by. Do you think there's any, any significance in the analogy of like some games, like a sport, some people come in with a stronger advantage than another? And like when you're playing a game of basketball and you're up 25 points with one minute left, you don't go and just keep scoring. You kind of hold the ball out of respect.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I try to be a respectful adversary. I mean, I, I've had times where I could humiliate opposing counsel and I choose not to because I just do as much as I need to do.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Is counsel the other lawyer?

• 28:57Speaker 03

  The other lawyer, yeah.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting. Right. You're playing the lawyer.

• 29:00Speaker 03

  I'm, yeah, that's, that's my competition. That's who I'm fighting.

• 29:03Speaker 01

  That's where the darkness is.

• 29:04Chris Williamson?

  Well, I feel like that, that's like saying you're not allowed to punch too hard if you're in the MMA cage. That person stepped into this.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  No, you're not allowed to punch you hard once they're already knocked out.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, you wanna stop punching once they're down.

• 29:14Chris Williamson?

  But there is no down.

• 29:16Speaker 01

  Yes, there is. The judge calls it.

• 29:17Chris Williamson?

  Right, but it's down, at least where the empathy or the sympathy that I thought you were talking about is that for the, the other person's client, like being too mean in cross-examination, like doing stuff to them. Cause they're a real person as opposed to you.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  First of all, what I'll tell you is you have to earn the right to beat up a witness. I tell young lawyers who work for me that all the time. Like you cannot go in and just start cross-examining someone to death. Like you have to start soft and get them to commit to principles. And then you have to just, once you just snap their neck with it. Like you have to, you have to get them to, and then once you've got them to be snide or evasive or just kind of a dick or revealed them to lie.

• 29:54Speaker 01

  That would make me soft.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  Then you have the right to just knock them out.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  It would, honestly. I generally, I start soft, get to know the person a little bit, and then there's connection. And if they were to be snide, it would make me soft again.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  It would.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  Really?

• 30:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:06Chris Williamson?

  I've heard you say, I've heard you say that you can't be intimate unless you're in love with someone.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  Not true, but I have a different.

• 30:12Chris Williamson?

  Hang on, so did you not say that?

• 30:13Speaker 01

  I never said that. I said, I don't have, I have to, I have to, I have to like somebody. I don't have, I said, I don't have, so if I, I, I don't have sex with people that I sometimes would want to from a superficial place. Like, oh, well, maybe we're making out and this person, I'm very attracted to them. But if I don't feel a connection with a person, I'm literally not able to maintain an erection.

• 30:33Chris Williamson?

  Did your therapist or did they not suggest that you try and have more casual sex with people?

• 30:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:39Chris Williamson?

  How's that working out?

• 30:40Speaker 01

  This was like 10, 12, this was 2016. I tried it for a couple of years.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Why did they say that to you?

• 30:50Speaker 01

  I mean, I could tell you the answer to this. It'll probably take a few minutes. So you guys could interrupt or I could not say it. But I, I, I mean, I feel like that's not what people do.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  I actually find it very.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Sure. So, so at the time I was, I was going through a breakup where the, my partner, my ex-partner had slept with a lot more people than me. I don't think the feeling was jealousy. I'm sure there was something there, but it wasn't like, I didn't think anything was wrong. What I felt was from a, like a, a kid-like feeling, I noticed that like, I felt like, oh, she's cooler than me. I don't, logically, I don't think that's what makes somebody cool. But at that point in my life, I had not had casual sex and my partner had. And I'm like, man, that's cool. And I had been in positions where I was too scared to sleep with somebody. Whether it's performance anxiety, or I don't like this person, whatever it is, I wasn't in touch with at the time. So in therapy, we had this conversation of like, well, maybe if I slept with more people, I would think I was cooler, or I would notice

• 31:46Speaker 01

  that's not what makes somebody cooler. I had questions and I didn't have answers. So why don't you try sleeping with people? And it's like, I genuinely was like doing that for the data. Does that make sense? Like, I was like, how will I feel after sleeping with somebody? And what I, so then I went through a few years where I was like trying to do this and I noticed sometimes I enjoyed it and sometimes I felt like I had erectile dysfunction. And like, and also like you're wearing condoms and that's tougher in there and blah, blah, blah. And then that kind of fed itself where I was kind of, I was starting to get performance anxiety. I never had that before. And I was starting to get performance anxiety. And then I, I remember I, this was a longer story, but like, somebody like convinced me to sleep with them. Like I didn't want to, she was in the

• 32:29Speaker 01

  neighborhood. I'm like, I don't, I don't think I would, I'm just, please let me just come. It's like what you would fantasize about if you were like somebody else. Like, let me just come do this. And I'm like.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  She's like a strong negotiator.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 32:40Speaker 01

  She's a strong negotiator.

• 32:41Speaker 03

  Chris Voss of pussy.

• 32:42Speaker 01

  You should.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? Like, that's amazing. Like I have to tell you something, I've never.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  She hurdled every obstacle. I'll come to you.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Like I fancied myself something of a coxman back in the day, but I have to tell you, no woman has ever been like, let me tell you, I, I need to talk you into this.

• 32:56Chris Williamson?

  You'd be surprised what people.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  Incredible.

• 32:58Chris Williamson?

  It's an objection handling. Very well.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  I'm gonna get a fucking cardigan.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  And I forgive the question, but is this a, like a 4D chess level of game? Cause I feel like women would respond to that very quickly.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  So I've noticed it's that I am very direct because if I'm not, I'm not present anymore. So like, an example of that would be if, if I'm texting with somebody and they're gonna come over my place and it's 11:30 PM. The implication is we're gonna have sex. I don't want that implication. I wanna know that we could if there's a connection. But if she comes over and I don't say anything, I'm gonna feel like, oh, she probably wants to do this. If we don't do this, she's gonna be upset that she came or whatever. So before somebody comes over, I will literally say something like, hey, I understand the implication is sex. I'm not saying that you wanna have sex. I'm not saying that we will or we won't. I'm attracted to you. And if that happens, I mean, it's really like, it's a great filtering system because if they're not for that, let me know now because I don't wanna

• 33:52Speaker 01

  go soft on you later. You know? So like, and then when somebody comes over where we don't have to have sex, that's the only way I can. Does that make sense? So there is pressure involved, not just on what I'm, because there still is this thing inside of me. I talked about this on stage a little bit. Uh, my, my, uh, for my stand-up act, which is I didn't have my first kiss until I was almost 18 and I still have this feeling of like, if I don't kiss you, you're gonna think I'm a loser. I don't think that's really a thing, but I'm still very scared to kiss somebody for the first time. So like I've found ways of communicating this and it's, I, I do think people respond well to it. And if they don't, I'm not for them. But what I learned was,

• 34:35Speaker 01

  oh, if I'm sleeping with somebody and like, I don't really want to, and they're just a great negotiator, or I'm doing this because I don't wanna be, there's generally a thing like, I'll, I'll have sex with you because I don't want, I don't wanna be mean. Like, you know, like you came all the way over here. This is what you wanted.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  Pity fuck.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  Um.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  Guilty fuck.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  It's a, it's a, you know what? I make more money than you let me pay for it. Or you make more money than me, you pay for it. Like sometimes we feel obligated and the obligation makes sense. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't think of it as a pity fuck. It's like, I morally, I, I don't think this is wrong. Like I'm not judging the person or me. I just, my, I'm full. I don't wanna eat. But I, I needed to learn what my intolerances were. And what I realized was if I'm, if after sex, I don't want you to stay here and watch something with you and I don't like you and/or I don't feel like you really like me, I don't wanna sleep with you. I don't have to be in love with you. We don't have to be in a relationship, but I wanna feel safe. And I think that's for everybody.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  Why don't you just say, you can come here and if you can't get me hard, we're not doing it. That way you put it on her. Like if you don't get me hard, no dice.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  I think that's great. I think that's just not my style.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  That's direct. What are you talking about, direct?

• 35:46Speaker 01

  But my issue isn't can you get me hard? My issue is do I wanna be hard with you? You know what I mean? Like, like I, I've, I've.

• 35:54Speaker 02

  You can't think about, it's a boner. You can't think about boners.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  I stopped having sex with a woman this year. Cause I'm like, I'm, I can't do this with you anymore.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Just don't think about boners ever again. Don't even, if you're, if it's a matter of getting hard, don't run it through your brain whatsoever.

• 36:07Chris Williamson?

  The more you chase it, the more it runs.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  It's not about going soft. It's about going hard.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  You're worried about getting hard?

• 36:13Speaker 01

  I'm not worried. No.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  You have a truly erectile dysfunction.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  You, that's why I said you start soft.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  And then you work your way in. But no, I'm, what I'm saying is I'm not worried about it either way anymore. What I'm saying is if I wanna be with you, I will probably be hard. If I'm not, my penis is basically saying, do you like this person?

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:31Speaker 01

  It's not a moral decision. It's, it's a buddy. That's like, Rick, this one's not for you.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  And that's funny because I feel like my penis always gave me the absolute wrong data.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:43Speaker 03

  To the, cause you're describing like the penis as like the weather vane.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  You know, that you're sort of like, okay, what, what's my real feeling with this person, my real connection with him? And do we really have something? I feel like my penis is the absolute opposite of it.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  Like, it's like if my penis is super interested, it's like, oh, this is a bad person for you.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  It's like a tongue that thinks it wants a lot of sugar.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly right. Like it's like.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  But then you got a stomach ache.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  It wants like big boob goth girls with daddy issues. Like, and I'm very like, whoa, no, no, you don't want, you've had a lot of those and it always ended badly. What are you fucking thinking?

• 37:13Chris Williamson?

  Big titty goth bitch is dangerous.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  What are you thinking?

• 37:16Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't.

• 37:16Speaker 03

  By the way, I was into that way before anybody.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  I'm 54. I was into that with Suzie and the Banshees. Like I was into that.

• 37:24Speaker 01

  Suzie and the Banshees.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  When MDMA was legal, I was into that. Like, that's crazy. I was in New York in the limelight, Trent Reznor, you know, Nine Inch Nails opening for Peter Murphy.

• 37:33Chris Williamson?

  With big titty goth bitches.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  With big titty goth bitches in the audience. Now, I remember now drinks into that.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're hot, they're hot right now. I've never gotten into.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  They're, they're having a moment.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Never got into the big titty, big titty goth or goth in general. Never had a thing.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  Big boobs and diet cooker, cooker coming back.

• 37:47Chris Williamson?

  Pale chicks in black.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  Pale chicks in black.

• 37:49Speaker 02

  They're huge right now.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're having a whole thing. They're having a moment. Yeah.

• 37:52Chris Williamson?

  Yeah. If you could invest in them.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. Buy. Big buy right now. Yeah.

• 37:57Chris Williamson?

  Underpriced market.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:58Chris Williamson?

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• 38:41Chris Williamson?

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• 38:55Speaker 03

  Okay, so what were you saying?

• 38:56Speaker 02

  So your dick is like Jiminy Cricket. It's like a...

• 38:58Speaker 03

  I've been saying it for weeks.

• 38:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:00Speaker 03

  Pinocchio.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  It even has the hat.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  Do you...

• 39:02Speaker 01

  It's like a Pinocchio.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  After sex...

• 39:04Speaker 01

  It's inverse Pinocchio. After sex with somebody, if I've... And after eating a meal, if I feel like, oh, that was good. I enjoyed that. Sometimes you eat a meal and it gives you a stomach ache. Sometimes you eat a meal and you feel good, but it was boring. If I like, hey, you know what? We're going out to dinner tonight. I'm getting steak. I'm getting cake. I'm not gonna feel bad about it because there was intention behind it. So I'm not saying that, like, casual stuff is bad and just pure intimacy is all that's okay. I'm saying that, like, what's the intention of this? Is the intention like, ooh, those are big boobs? Let's plant a flag in this. That just doesn't get me off. Like, I love connection, and I don't just feel that way in, like, romantic intimacy. I feel that way in friendships. I love eye contact. I love laughing. I wanna like you. And again, that's not just having

• 39:49Speaker 01

  sex with somebody. Like, I don't wanna do this podcast and come to Austin if we didn't do this and I didn't have a nice time with you. Like, friends? I love having friends. I love having sex with somebody that I like, and maybe that'll turn into something. And if not, it's a delicious chocolate cake and it was intentional.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Deep.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think the intentionality thing is interesting because for me, like, I always felt like, when it came to sex in particular, that whenever you had in your mind, okay, we're gonna have great sex. Like, I'm gonna have good... Like, it's Valentine's Day, or it's like, or it's whatever. We're going on this date night.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Moral day.

• 40:24Speaker 03

  We're gonna have great sex. It's always like, oh, that was good, or whatever. But like, the sex that, like, you just didn't, like, on a Tuesday, that you just randomly were like, maybe we will, maybe we won't. And then you have, like, just mind-blowingly good sex, like, that you weren't, like, trying to have good sex. I've always found, like, the best sex snuck up on you in some way. And that could be a function of the fact that, like, there wasn't intentionality as to the sex. There was just sort of intentionality to the connection with the person. So I get what you're... Like, I think the underlying concept, and I think...

• 40:53Chris Williamson?

  Upfront, the big-titty goth bitches underperform from what's predicted.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was in my experience. Yeah. It was sort of a... Well, because I think also, too, there's a question of, like, if you're good-looking enough, or like, you've, you know, that just sort of being present is sufficient. And it's like...

• 41:11Speaker 02

  No way. Yeah.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 41:12Chris Williamson?

  Oh, they're low bowling the effort because they think, look at all the...

• 41:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. I used to say about you, like, I felt like you could be a lot dumber. You could afford to be a lot dumber.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  He used to be.

• 41:23Speaker 03

  No, but I really was. Like, when I, when I met you, I was like, you know, I, when I first was introduced to your work, I remember being like, oh, okay. So he's like, if Lex was, like, really good-looking, you know, like, it's somebody, like, he doesn't, he's probably just like a good-looking dude, but he's not probably that, you know, deep. And then the first couple of times we talked, and you were like, just so much you've read and so... I was like, holy fuck.

• 41:43Chris Williamson?

  Are you saying that I benefit from very low expectations?

• 41:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, totally. Totally.

• 41:47Chris Williamson?

  That's kind of the way. I would probably be able to give you a boner.

• 41:50Speaker 03

  I think you guys are misunderstanding.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  That's a million-dollar question. That's all I've been thinking about.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  Just like...

• 41:54Chris Williamson?

  Could any of us give him a boner?

• 41:55Speaker 03

  Just let him have it.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  I mean, let Chris... Have him give it to me.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  You can tell him when you came in, you saw him, you had one right away. Just don't be rude. It's rude. You're being rude to his emotional experience.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  There's many different kinds of boners. There's blood flowing into your penis, and then there's body getting excited to connect with somebody.

• 42:11Speaker 03

  You gave him an emotional boner.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:12Chris Williamson?

  Aw, that's cute.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  It's nice.

• 42:14Chris Williamson?

  Another thing that I've heard you say.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  Rick.

• 42:16Chris Williamson?

  Yes, Rick. Another thing that I've heard you say. Do you not think it's weird, like, when you drop someone's name that you know during a conversation that you're in the middle of?

• 42:25Speaker 03

  It feels strange.

• 42:25Chris Williamson?

  You're like, Rick, let me tell you something that I've noticed about you.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  It feels like you're a salesman or a sign-off.

• 42:29Speaker 02

  True. Close friends would never do that.

• 42:30Chris Williamson?

  Read way too much, like, how do friends influence people?

• 42:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  I mean that.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  It feels like a sales technique.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  I like you.

• 42:36Chris Williamson?

  You've said it's hard. So you've found it hard sometimes to find someone who is both funny and you're attracted to?

• 42:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 42:43Chris Williamson?

  Is, before you fucking accuse me of misquoting you, is that one correct?

• 42:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 42:47Chris Williamson?

  Why? What do you think? What do you think's happening there?

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Well, in a similar, in a similar thing to that you could afford to be stupider, the better... This is a blanket statement, but the better-looking somebody is in their developmental years, the less need, not that it's impossible, but the less needed is for them to learn how to connect with people in a way where they offer value. So if you're beautiful, you offer value. If you're not, what's your value? Now, that's not necessarily the case, but like, when you see a really, really funny, really, really good-looking guy, chances are he was fat when he was younger. Is that fair to say?

• 43:25Speaker 03

  Very fair.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  Or was a magician.

• 43:26Chris Williamson?

  Unpopular.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  Whatever it might be. I don't think you're funny. In fact, you couldn't even get me hard. But what I will say is, you're hilarious and I'm hard right now.

• 43:34Chris Williamson?

  Thanks.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  I think that for you to be beautiful and funny, it's just, you know, like, do you remember in The Matrix when he was looking for a certain weapon, but you keep, like... Or those car commercials. I want, you know, an SUV, but it's gotta be American-made, and it's gotta be green. And eventually, there's only seven of them. So I think when you take those, those are a big, like, in Guess Who, those are two big categories and knock people out. Is this person good-looking? Yes. All right. Most people are gone. Is this person funny? Yes. Ooh, there's only a few left.

• 44:04Speaker 03

  And do you look for funny? Like, I've always wondered this about comics. Like, do comics wanna date fucking funny people?

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Not at all.

• 44:10Speaker 03

  Because like, I would never wanna date a lawyer.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  No.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  There's a difference between being a performer that's always on and annoying, two thumbs, or somebody that's just funny and that you laugh with and gets it and is funny. I don't think I've had a girlfriend, ever, that wasn't funny.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Really?

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Ever.

• 44:27Chris Williamson?

  Would dating, do you think a comedian dating another comedian would kind of be a bit of a nightmare?

• 44:31Speaker 01

  I've, I've never done it. I could imagine it might be, but...

• 44:34Chris Williamson?

  Why would it be a, why would it be a nightmare?

• 44:35Speaker 02

  Because it's, comedians are inherently jealous of each other usually. And then if you're in a relationship and like, one of them's gonna be doing better than the other, and then they get jealous of that. And it's also like, if I had to deal with, like, if I had a girlfriend and she just bombed, and now I gotta deal with that after the fact, it would fucking suck.

• 44:53Chris Williamson?

  You think it would kill the boner?

• 44:54Speaker 02

  It was just, this is the last thing you wanna deal with. And if this she was bombing, I'd be like, geez, fuck.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  There is something about seeing somebody doing their, doing their thing, not specifically comedy, but when you see them doing their thing well, it's attractive.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  I disagree.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  Okay. It's not that it's unattractive. I just don't give a fuck. I don't care.

• 45:13Chris Williamson?

  You don't think competence is sexy? Like, someone being good at a thing?

• 45:15Speaker 02

  It doesn't turn me on. It's just like, nice job. Good job. It's like a high five. I'm not like, I'm not gonna kiss you. If you do a good job, I'm not like, oh, fuck, I'm so fucking hard right now. It's like, hey, great job.

• 45:25Chris Williamson?

  But would it not be more of a boner killer if someone did something badly?

• 45:29Speaker 01

  No, I don't think it's a boner killer. As long, as long as, like, I've done lots of things badly.

• 45:34Chris Williamson?

  But imagine how many people's boners that's killed.

• 45:36Speaker 01

  I don't wanna even think about it. I don't read the comments.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just, I don't have that. When it's like, damn, you're like, killing it up there. I'm just kind of like, it's good. Proud of you, you know? Like, good job.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  Well, that's it. Pride, you're, I think it's attractive. We're attracted to people that we're proud of. I mean, I think watching LeBron James do his thing, I'm not sexually attracted to him, but it's like, fuck it, I want, that guy's awesome. That guy's talent and competency, I just think is attractive.

• 46:01Speaker 03

  But you're, like, Matt, I think your style is, I mean, I don't know you that well, but like, I, I feel like you seem very comfortable in your own skin, especially for a comic. Like, I represent a lot of comics, and I, I will tell you, like, they're the least comfortable in their own skin so much of the time. I think sometimes when they're on stage and they're like, doing their thing that they've kind of precisely honed, but like, you, you seem in conversation, just very kind of comfortable in your own skin. Like, you don't have a hard time disagreeing.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  All front.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  Is that what it is? I know, honestly, I actually wonder that. If it is like an act, or if it's like a defense mechanism, or if it's legitimately how you are. Like, I don't know. You know, it could just be you're Irish, like...

• 46:39Speaker 02

  I think that, I think that's it, honestly.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, for real. I was married to an Irish girl, like, and she was, and we were getting divorced. She was like, dude, if this is over, you're gonna have to end it. I'm Irish. I'll stay fucking miserable forever.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 46:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were friends. Like, we were, you know, we got divorced 10 years ago.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  It was amicable.

• 46:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, we were super friends. We had two kids. We're, we're great. Like, she's been remarried 15 years to a great dude. Like, we all get along. We're...

• 46:58Speaker 01

  Nice. Get her on the pod.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think I'm pretty comfortable on certain, certain dimensions of life. I'm like, very, very comfortable.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  But, I don't know. I'm not like, very, like, getting like a party, I'm uncomfortable. If I go to a party, I feel fucking weird.

• 47:09Speaker 03

  No, no, but you just seem like, like, your beliefs don't require me to believe them.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  Like, you seem very comfortable saying, like, I listened to the conversation you have with Chris, and I was very like, you know, you disagreed with him a few times, but it was very like, not in that defensive, like, no, I have to explain myself. Like, comfortable in your own argument, or your own skin, or your own reasoning. And it's like, like, even before, when we were talking about, like, oh, I think guys should be 100% and, you know, like, you're very confident in that, and it doesn't seem like you're trying to persuade me. Like, you need me to agree with you.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  True. Yeah, I don't have that. People disagree. It doesn't bother me.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  No. The comics, like, comics are very, you know, they're, they're so...

• 47:49Speaker 03

  Paralyzed by like, I don't know a lot of comics that don't read the comments. Like, I think they incessantly read the fucking comments.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  And then they say they don't because that's what you're supposed to say. But like, they, they are absolutely paralyzed and they, they read, like, if you believe the good reviews, you have to believe the bad ones.

• 48:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:04Speaker 03

  So you either have to just be like, whatever, I'm gonna keep moving.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  No, it's funny because a lot of, a lot of listeners are always like, they'll kind of harp on different, like, it's like a parasocial thing where like, you're obsessed with these podcasters. The podcasters are almost just, almost as obsessed with the listeners as the listeners are them, because you do read the comments. So you are kind of living and dying by the comments a lot of the times. And then I think what happens is you get to a point where like, you get like one great comment and then a horrible comment right next to each other and you just kind of go, fuck, I don't know. I don't know what to believe and you just try to ignore it. Or just like, really just think about like, I have also a life to live, you know what I mean? Like, this is on the internet, it's not necessarily.

• 48:42Chris Williamson?

  But a lot of comics have put their entire life into that audience recognition, right? If you don't like me, I don't like me. Because that's what bombing is. Bombing is going up and doing your job and the audience not reacting in the way that you thought they were going to.

• 48:56Speaker 02

  True.

• 48:56Chris Williamson?

  And then you, that just bleeds a little bit.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  It hurts.

• 49:00Chris Williamson?

  Oh, well, I'm not a good person. It's not just that I had a bad night or the audience was wrong or the room is too hot or whatever the fuck. It's like, oh, and now maybe I am unworthy and I suck and I'm gonna live under a bridge and everything's gonna go to hell.

• 49:12Speaker 03

  I think in talking about the sex stuff and being on stage is a lot of similarities to this. And I really think when you're going into something with intention, that is your north star. And if you go up on stage and you wanted to try something and it didn't go well, but you weren't there to kill, you were there to get information. Do you connect to this at all?

• 49:30Speaker 02

  No, I, what I, well, sort of, what I try to do and it's, it's, I'm not like 100% like this. Because I still, like, if I'm doing well, I feel, or doing bad, I'm like, oh, fuck, I suck. But I try to be like, I'm gonna try my best to forget about myself and make sure these guys laugh and have a good time. And if I don't get them to laugh, it's like, I just didn't do it.

• 49:47Chris Williamson?

  You're very in-service, so that would be you focusing on the coni lingus as opposed to what am I getting?

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Exactly. That's me doing, that's me doing the alphabet on the audience.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  If we were looking at this like, like a cultural anthropologist, like, and looking at, like, I, I feel like there's a, a breed of comedian happening right now and you and Shane, I think, are emblematic of it. Where like, it just seems like you're trying to make yourselves and each other laugh.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:11Speaker 03

  And then the audience just happens to sort of be there. And it, it, again, I don't know if that's intentionality or if it's like by design, but it just, I think it's really resonating. Because we're in this moment where everything's so fucking performative all the time. Like, social media, like, everyone's an ad for themselves and for their own life and showing everyone their greatest hits. And all of a sudden, there's this like, brand of comic that I think you're part of, I think Shane is emblematic of, of like this, just like, yeah, they're just fucking talking. And again, I know it's curated, I know a lot of it is like really thought through and really.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  It's not at all.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  Really, it's not? Okay, I assume.

• 50:45Speaker 02

  We just try to make each other laugh.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  But it seems so natural and it seems so like you're trying to make each other laugh and you're cracking up a whole audience of people, but it doesn't feel like you're trying to. And then it sort of feels like I'm in on the joke, like I'm in the clubhouse. And I think that it's a, that's like a new thing. Like, it's kind of like when you hear like some type of music and you're like, like the first time I heard Jungle or the first, you hear it and you're like, dude, that's a totally different sound. Like, that's a different sound and it's a subtle play on something. But I don't know, it just seems to me like that's a very, um, it's what I find very interesting about you.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, it's funny, when we started, we were both, I was 30, I was like 30, living on an air mattress. And I had kind of been like, I'm gonna be one of those like weird uncles that like lives by himself and like, the kids come to me. I had accepted that. And I think he had a similar thing. He's like, I'm a fucking loser. And we were just making each other laugh and then things worked and we're both still like, we're fucking losers. And we just.

• 51:40Speaker 03

  But I think it's landing in a moment because everyone is so constantly trying to convince everyone that they're not a loser and they're amazing and they're incredible and everyone's sort of clout chasing and everyone's like, look at who I'm adjacent to.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  And yeah.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  When you kind of don't get that, you kind of are, you know.

• 51:54Chris Williamson?

  You're adjacent to.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  I'm just excited.

• 51:55Chris Williamson?

  That side of the label over there.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  You guys wanna get high? I brought edibles.

• 52:01Chris Williamson?

  Bro, edibles?

• 52:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, are we gonna be going on for a little bit?

• 52:03Chris Williamson?

  We're gonna be going on for a long time.

• 52:05Speaker 03

  I have sworn off of edibles. I had, I had an edible.

• 52:07Speaker 02

  I'm good right now, I'm good.

• 52:08Speaker 03

  Loser!

• 52:08Speaker 02

  It'll kick in by the time we're done.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  No, no, I had a hellish edible experience. I, I, I was always like a classic stoner. I had a terrible, terrible edible experience. I had a 10 gram, it said it was 10 grams, it were milligrams. It was, it was, it, I don't know what it was. I was just in the void. I felt like I'd eaten like three grams of mushrooms.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  Um, so, so I'd like to ask, and please don't answer right away, take at least two seconds to consider my question. I would like to do this because it's fun and then like the back hour of this, I'll be a little stoned.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Am I, am I too much already?

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Not at all.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  Not at all.

• 52:47Chris Williamson?

  You're perfect. You could be more.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  You answered quick.

• 52:49Chris Williamson?

  I do want to, I do want to switch a chair out, given that you broke in the fourth floor.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  Buddy, thank you. I've been, thank you, yes.

• 52:54Chris Williamson?

  We've already got a chair ready.

• 52:56Speaker 03

  I thought he had a prop in his pocket. I was like, I didn't want to.

• 52:58Chris Williamson?

  It's that ear, dude.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  Or something, they were squeaking and I was like, this is gonna be weird.

• 53:04Chris Williamson?

  Fuck that chair, dude. Tell me if this sounds familiar. You train regularly, you eat reasonably well, you feel fine, but you're just kind of going off vibes. Most people have absolutely no idea what's going on inside their body and that is why I partnered with Function. Function gives you access to more than 160 advanced lab tests spanning hormones, heart health, kidney function, and even detects early signals linked to more than 50 types of cancer. To put that in perspective, your typical annual physical might test 20 markers. Function runs over 160. It's huge. Best of all, you test twice a year and everything lives inside of a simple dashboard. So you track trends over time, make sure you're moving in the right direction. And this level of testing would usually cost thousands, but with Function, it is $365 per year.

• 53:47Chris Williamson?

  Just $1 a day to actually know what's happening inside of your body. And right now, you can get $25 off, bringing it down to $340. Get the exact same blood panels that I use and save $25 by going to the link in the description below or heading to functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. That's functionhealth.com/modernwisdom.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  I'm gonna get silly.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  It's fine. Get silly.

• 54:11Speaker 03

  I have like Adderall and Xanax and I could bring all that. We really just make this a whole grab bag.

• 54:15Chris Williamson?

  Your precise dosing is impressive.

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, thank you. I like to do five milligrams. I have, I'm on a little bit of a time released magic mind at the moment. So when it's with caffeine, I don't want too much weed.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:24Chris Williamson?

  Very good. All right, you talked about, you talked about advertising online.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  Edit that in.

• 54:32Chris Williamson?

  Did you see that tech exec lady who shared her non-negotiable dating requirements on Twitter? Do you see this trended like fuck the other day?

• 54:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 54:42Chris Williamson?

  Okay, so this Brooke LeBlanc girl tweeted, "Who wants to co-found the rest of my life with me?" She wrote out a list of what she's looking for and then said, "X, work your magic." Oh, here it is. Uh, "Non-negotiables, 35 to 42 years old, healthy masculine, smart, funny, lighthearted, provider slash protector mentality, post-economic, brackets, still hardworking."

• 55:05Speaker 02

  What the hell does that mean?

• 55:06Speaker 03

  That means you have enough money that you don't have to be working, but you're working.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  Oh, you can live off your, yeah.

• 55:10Chris Williamson?

  "Must be kind, generous, thoughtful, no kids yet, decidedly wants kids, on the healing path, history of serious commitment, ex-therapist, books, retreats, can meet anywhere but will not date unless live in the same city, fit and sober because you care about your health, strongly preferred, no previous marriages or engagements, works in tech, brackets, comfortable with risk and career is blended into personal life."

• 55:30Speaker 03

  Well, in five years, I'll match all of those things. So, is she pretty and funny?

• 55:35Chris Williamson?

  Uh, she deleted her Twitter after the response this got.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  Really?

• 55:39Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, I mean, this one.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Were people mad about it or were they like, this is great?

• 55:42Chris Williamson?

  Mixed, mixed reviews. I do want to try and work out how many men on the planet that is.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  It would be an unbelievably small number.

• 55:51Speaker 02

  How old is she?

• 55:52Speaker 03

  Just the post-economic, the post-economic still hardworking would be a. What makes post-economic? How much money do I have to have? Because that's that one and depending on what city she lives in and me only being 30.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  I think you get 50,000 per million dollars you have invested.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Well, if you were 35 to 42 and you no longer had to work, then let's.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it depends on your lifestyle.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  Like, I could do that now if I, you know, just flew Economy Plus.

• 56:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, but if you want to marry, have children.

• 56:18Speaker 03

  Which I would never do. Yeah, dude. I invested really well when I was young.

• 56:22Speaker 02

  Really?

• 56:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:23Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, like when he was five.

• 56:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:25Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, it was.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  That's nice.

• 56:25Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, it was early, early Uber money.

• 56:27Speaker 02

  So you're post-economic, but still hardworking?

• 56:28Speaker 03

  No, no, I don't think so.

• 56:29Chris Williamson?

  Still hardworking.

• 56:30Speaker 02

  That's what they're saying. They're saying you don't have to work and you can live.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  But it depends, like, like, the lifestyle that I want to live, I think that she would want to live. I'm not post-economic.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  But like, I could live like you guys.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 56:45Chris Williamson?

  What, middle of Manhattan?

• 56:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  That's good. Good stuff.

• 56:51Chris Williamson?

  You know about his holiday homes?

• 56:52Speaker 01

  No.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  So what is, what do people say to this lady?

• 56:56Chris Williamson?

  Uh, oh, I'm sure she got pillory.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz it's like you.

• 56:58Speaker 03

  You really do realize what percentage of men would fill all.

• 57:01Chris Williamson?

  It was very few. I mean, a lot of them were the post economic still hardworking thing. And it was the terminology of post economic. Not just referring to it. Is that like on the All In Podcast, Jason Calacanis, who is kind of the host and at least on paper appears to be the one that's the least rich of all. They refer to him as asset light compared with the rest of the dudes. They're all billionaires. Post economic and asset light. Asset light's the most diplomatic way to say, hey, you poor.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  Also funny, this is a lady who probably has like a doctorate in something, computer sciences. It's like, I'm gonna marry a prince.

• 57:33Chris Williamson?

  She's like a tech exec. Smart, funny, lighthearted, provider protector mentality, must be kind, generous, thoughtful, no kids yet, decidedly wants kids. On the healing path, history of serious commitment, ex therapist, books, retreats. This is an interesting one. Can meet anywhere but will not date unless live in the same city. Fit and sober because you go.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  What is decidedly wants kids versus just wants kids?

• 57:54Chris Williamson?

  Level of certainty, maybe?

• 57:56Speaker 01

  Which one is more certain?

• 57:57Speaker 03

  I think there, there's a type of man that's like, oh, I could imagine having kids versus like, I would like to have kids within three to five years. Like decidedly.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I get freaked out by people who frame their life and business terminology. Who wants to confound my life with it's like, ugh.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that's like, that's, there's a blend right now. I think I was talking about this over dinner the other night that like, there's a blend of yoga babble and business babble, like hybrid together.

• 58:25Chris Williamson?

  The Venn diagram is becoming closer and closer.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  You do the like helicopter view and paradigm shift, but then you also have to talk about like energy and vibes and like, it's a, it's this like blend of yoga babble and business babble. It's, it's huge right now in New York.

• 58:39Chris Williamson?

  We need to align the aura to ensure that we can loop back by end of day.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Exactly right. Yeah. By, by EOB, you know, like, and you, it's a, we're like, you're like EBITDA and also your like guru or your mantra, you know?

• 58:50Speaker 02

  What, this is a question I've had and I've never had it answered in terms of like, so say you have like a, you know, a super successful, super rich man. Like it's easy to figure out what they see for themselves, how they would enjoy their money and wealth alone as a bachelor. How do you think a super successful, rich woman on say like 40s, 40, 50s side of life? How do they tend to like display and enjoy their wealth if they?

• 59:16Speaker 01

  A Nancy Meyers kitchen.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Like a, like a La Conche oven or they travel, a lot of travel, a lot of luxury goods. Women, women, um, success, like when we do prenups for very successful, wealthy women in New York, the amount of like luxury goods that they have is usually through the roof, like Birkin bags, you know, things that are 20, 30, 40.

• 59:36Chris Williamson?

  More watches, cars, houses, maybe for.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Women are not as into the watches. It's like we do, you know, we've had clients with million dollar wine collections, million dollar, couple million dollar watch collections. Like men, men collect stuff like that. There's a, there's a, this, I think that tweet is emblematic of a, there's, there's a lot of like, the internet is spending a lot of time gassing women up about the like, you're a queen, you're a boss, you're a boss babe. Like you deserve, like you deserve the best out there. You deserve, whereas men are, I don't think as many men are being told like, you deserve a queen. Like it's sort of a, you know, like just shut up dude. You deserve, like have a woman, like you have a woman. I think there's a lot, I, I see it in prenups. Like I'm doing, you know, a lot of prenups right now.

• 1:00:22Speaker 03

  And the list of like demands that women are coming in with of like, oh, this is what, cuz women tend to, and this is fact, like women tend to marry even or up, like economically. Men usually down, like they don't, like if you say to most men, tell me the three things you're looking for in a woman that you want to be serious with. She's a good provider is never cracks even the top 10.

• 1:00:47Speaker 01

  Provider is economics, not family.

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. Provider meaning economically. Like, like I want a good earner. Like most, most men would not say in the top five things. They'd say, oh, I want someone pretty. I want someone who's thoughtful. I want someone who'd be good with kids. I want someone who's gonna be supportive of me. You know, I want somebody who's getting bad.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  My grandpa used to say, uh, he didn't give me advice on relationships ever. The only thing that came close is he used to say, marry someone wealthy.

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  I mean, listen, I think that, you know, that, that.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  My dad said.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  The first million's the hardest. So if you, if you can inherit wealth, I've represented a lot of like inherited wealth people and they, in my experience, fall into two categories. There's like the ones who just are, they inherited all this money and they're amazing. Like they speak five languages. They still went to university. They have graduate degrees, like they've dug wells in sedan. And then there's like the opiate addicted, complete screw up ones who are like started on, you know, third and act like they hit a double.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  Have you noticed an observation that, that I'm, I'm making up, but I feel like confident in? That when those are the case, usually the ones that knows five languages is the oldest, eldest child and the other one is younger.

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. I think when you have an overachieving eldest sibling, you're like, I'm fighting to tie and why would I do this? So you just kind of, it's like a learned helplessness. Like you just sort of go like, I'm never gonna be as good as that one. So I might as well just be the screw up, you know, and have some fun with it. And I think when you have that much opportunity, like financially, you can have a really good time. So you're like, why would I bother working at this?

• 1:02:11Chris Williamson?

  What's the craziest thing that you've ever seen put into a prenup?

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  The craziest thing that was enforceable was if for every 10 pounds that she gained during the marriage, she lost $50,000 in alimony.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, you put on 50 pounds, it's a quarter million dollars.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  Not that dramatic.

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  I mean, it's horribly rude.

• 1:02:28Speaker 03

  No, no, per year, per year in alimony. So it was significant.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  I, I've posed this question before, but if you were with someone and for every 10 pounds they gained, it unlocked a new, like never, you could never imagine sexual act, how heavy would you go?

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  As long as she's healthy and happy.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying. I said, she'd explode.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'd go big.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  I'd blow her up until she popped.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  You'd be like.

• 1:02:52Chris Williamson?

  My 800 pound wife.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, you'd be bringing, you'd be bringing home buttermilk. You'd be like, I wanna see what the, I have no patience. I would be like, I want this by Friday. I'm calling it sick.

• 1:03:01Chris Williamson?

  You'd walk around your own wife.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  I would just love to see, yeah, it'd be fun to like get to that frontier.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  I think the scarier question is if it was for every five pounds they lost, how thin would you let them get? Like, would you be like straight up just, you know?

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  They gotta be happy.

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  Like in tournament camp, like where would you be going, you know?

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not, if I'm seeing ribs, I'm like, I don't like that. I don't like if I'm, if women are too bony, if I'm like, ugh, I don't like that stuff.

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's not my.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Like a nice stout. I want a stout woman.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Rubenesque.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  Like the guy from American Idol?

• 1:03:34Speaker 03

  Who?

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  The.

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  Rand Jackson?

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  No, he's a, he was a little heavier. Rubens, um.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  That means Rubenesque, like the fat little angels and.

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  I wonder if that's where he got his name?

• 1:03:46Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  That's exactly, that's exactly what I'm going for.

• 1:03:50Chris Williamson?

  Is that the guy you meant?

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  So when, when people say Rubenesque.

• 1:03:53Chris Williamson?

  You think this guy?

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  Of Ruben's study.

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  If they go, Rubenesque, I think of it.

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:03:59Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, cuz he has a.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Does he stutter?

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  Uh, no, I think that's just his surname. Surname is last name, right?

• 1:04:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  Thought so.

• 1:04:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:07Speaker 02

  Ah, I see.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  I know, like, cuz in the divorce papers, it says premarital surname.

• 1:04:10Chris Williamson?

  You were talking about, uh, women are being told like, you're a princess, you deserve all this stuff.

• 1:04:14Speaker 03

  And I think they're coming into.

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  Unless you're a woman judge.

• 1:04:16Speaker 03

  Coming into prenup, a lady judge.

• 1:04:18Chris Williamson?

  Uh.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  Prenup negotiations.

• 1:04:20Chris Williamson?

  Not a normal one.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  Is there a judge or a lady judge?

• 1:04:23Chris Williamson?

  Judge or lady judge.

• 1:04:24Speaker 03

  By the way, I'm now gonna fuck up in court. Like I'm gonna walk in and be like, lady, your honor. I mean, I'm sorry, your honor. I'm sorry, your honor. I apologize.

• 1:04:31Chris Williamson?

  There's a, there's a guy who is being dragged online at the moment. His wife was carrying kids, food, drink. We have to watch this. It's the funniest thing I've seen. So you're talking about like women, you deserve it all. Well, this is in some ways a woman who got it all, uh, but she's stuck in the stands at a sports game. Uh, here it is.

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  I mean, she, oh, wow. Okay. She's got the diaper bag. She's got the kid.

• 1:04:57Chris Williamson?

  Uh, look, yeah, his phone's plugged in. That makes a quite a big difference cuz he's out of charge.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  She's got three plates.

• 1:05:07Chris Williamson?

  Did you forget something?

• 1:05:10Speaker 02

  God. So he's getting, he's getting kinda.

• 1:05:13Speaker 03

  So he's like modern Kevin Federline.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, like, I mean. Oh, they went back to him. Ah.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Went back to him, funny.

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  Oh, he's complaining about his meal.

• 1:05:28Chris Williamson?

  Did you forget something?

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  He's getting the king treatment.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a, I'll see that every now and again, though, when I fly, you'll see the women carrying all the gear sometimes.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  I offered, I offered to help. I've often, almost every time, never takes me up on, they never take, never take up.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  They get kind of particular though, when they fly. When you fly with a woman with all like kid gear, they can get very like.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  But sometimes they are by themselves and there's so much stuff. And it's like, I travel with my dog and sometimes it's a little inconvenient. I have so much empathy for that. That seems so difficult.

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  It's an interesting thing when the response is like, I, I ride the subway all the time cuz it's the fastest way to get anywhere in New York. And I, I was raised with, you, you give your seat to, you know, a woman, any woman or like anyone who's older or anybody, so like an older man or somebody. And so anytime I'm sitting and then like the car gets crowded and it's like, you know, even a young woman, you know, I'll, I'll stand up and I'll go, would you like to sit? And it's like, you get one of two reactions, like, and, and they're both fairly strong. Like one is like the, what? No. Like, like, you know? And the other is like, oh, oh, yeah. And they, they're like, almost kind of don't know what to do with themselves. And then when they, you like, you leave, they're like, thank you or whatever. They get such a like moved by it.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  So it's interesting how polarized it is that it's like, there's no in between of it. It's either like an extreme reaction of like positive or an extreme reaction of like, wait, what? No. Why? Why would I, why would I, you know, like, cuz I mean, technically I'm probably, you know, older and more infirm, I guess, than this young woman would be. But there's just something sort of, I, I think romantic about like that male, like that chivalry thing. I mean, I was raised in that world and I think that there's something to it, you know, but I, I don't know. I, I think there's, there's so much that's.

• 1:07:13Speaker 03

  In the prenups I'm doing right now, I see a lot of young women coming in with like a list of things that they're gonna demand.

• 1:07:21Chris Williamson?

  What like?

• 1:07:22Speaker 03

  More water, for example? Like, they want a-

• 1:07:25Chris Williamson?

  Is that a hint? Yeah, thank you.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  So are they the ones, the guys penning the prenup and they're like, here are my conditions, or are women hitting guys with prenups now?

• 1:07:33Speaker 03

  No, no, women aren't hitting guys with prenups. Cause women are, like I said, generally economically. Unless they come from family money.

• 1:07:39Chris Williamson?

  So if the guy, they got, let's say that on average, your client's probably the guy's the one that's coming in with more-

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  Usually with the prenup, yeah.

• 1:07:45Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, but does the woman, is the woman able to say, well, here are some demands that I've got-

• 1:07:49Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:07:49Chris Williamson?

  In this thing?

• 1:07:50Speaker 03

  Yes, and it should be that. Like, a prenup conversation should be that conversation. It should be, hey, what, what, what would we need? Like, I, I think, you know, when you love someone, you're saying, I wanna protect your heart, right? Even from me. Like, if I screw this up, if this ends somehow, like, every marriage ends, it ends in death or divorce. So if this doesn't end in death, if it ends in divorce, which statistically is more likely, what do we owe each other? What would you need? And I think most successful, economically successful men, if you say, you know, she's entitled to one half of everything you have, it would be like, well, that doesn't seem necessarily fair. But if you say she's entitled to nothing, they'd be like, well, that's not fair either. Like, she's making sacrifices and choices and there's things that, like, she's diminishing

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  her long-term economic capacity, being a supportive other to me. So, but what is, what does she need? What would she need to feel safe? Like, I don't think you can feel loved if you don't feel safe. I think both people should feel safe. Like, safe that you're not gonna take tremendous economic advantage of me and safe that you're gonna, you know, that you're gonna be here and be present and love me and, you know, that, that you're not gonna leave me in the lurch if we split up and take everything-

• 1:08:59Chris Williamson?

  So what are the, what are the sort of demands from the women?

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  I mean, I've seen some really, really baller ones, like, where, like, specifics of how much they want per month as a personal care budget for things like, you know, cosmetic stuff-

• 1:09:11Chris Williamson?

  During the marriage?

• 1:09:12Speaker 03

  During the marriage, yeah.

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  Do women ever do, like, if you're, like, for every three centimeters your penis shrinks as you age, I get X more dollars? Or is there anything superficial like that?

• 1:09:22Speaker 03

  I don't know that that happens with penises, but I don't, I don't-

• 1:09:25Chris Williamson?

  There's something called buried, buried penile syndrome, which is becoming increasing.

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:09:29Chris Williamson?

  Buried penile syndrome, it's when you get so fat, like, the foopa, the male foopa begins to, like, subsume the penis. You know, like, if you let loads of grass grow up around a, a rock-

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:09:41Chris Williamson?

  And then you'd be like, where's the rock? And you go, it's there, but it's just like, you have to-

• 1:09:45Speaker 01

  Little.

• 1:09:45Chris Williamson?

  And, yeah, I think 5%, 5% of American men can't see, you know how Peter Griffin, even when he's naked, is never nude? Like, he's always covered, because he's got the gunt.

• 1:09:53Speaker 01

  You're really smart.

• 1:09:55Chris Williamson?

  Thanks. He's got the gunt.

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  Smarter than he needs to be. You know what I mean?

• 1:09:58Chris Williamson?

  That's true.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  For a guy, you could probably see all of his penis.

• 1:10:01Chris Williamson?

  That's true, most of it, you know?

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  Why can't you see all of it? It's too far away? The tip is too far away?

• 1:10:08Speaker 03

  I mean, everyone can push down the sides and get a little more. That's, I, I, when, yeah, absolutely. You know, it's funny that you say that, cause a lot of people don't know about that. And I remember that, so every now and then, there's conversations about how big your wiener is, and I always give two answers. I give what it is and what it is if I push the sides.

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 1:10:23Chris Williamson?

  Uh, one of my friends used to take photo, you know, the little cans of Diet Coke that you can get on a plane, like, 175 mil? He used to take a photo of the, that would be somewhere in the photo for like, but you would, he'd have turned it so you wouldn't know it was a 175.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:10:37Chris Williamson?

  That's some fucking 300 IQ. You talk about me being smart.

• 1:10:40Speaker 03

  What a bummer.

• 1:10:40Chris Williamson?

  Holy shit, dude. Fugazi.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  When did, when did prenups, were they always around? Or like, what's the history of them? When did they come to play?

• 1:10:46Speaker 03

  Prenups have been around a long time.

• 1:10:48Chris Williamson?

  Who invented the prenup?

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  1947, 1497, Germany.

• 1:10:52Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:10:52Speaker 01

  1467.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Very specific. Prenups, prenups have been around a long time. They've been enforceable in a real way since the 1960s. They, they really didn't get super popular with the general population until maybe like 20 years ago.

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  Is that because the, things changed? Or is that because women started being respected a little bit?

• 1:11:14Speaker 03

  No, I, I, I think that it was a function of, that the, people started to see the marriage fail rate being as high as it is and started to say, like, okay, there's gonna be a rule set applied to this. Is it one that we want written by the government? Or is it one that maybe we wanna write together in some fashion?

• 1:11:32Chris Williamson?

  I think in the late 1800s in England, the total number of divorces is like, in the 1890s, one year, the total number of divorces was like, five-

• 1:11:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:42Chris Williamson?

  In all of England.

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:43Chris Williamson?

  So you just don't need a function for something that's never happening. You don't need protection against something that's the tailless of tail risk.

• 1:11:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, but there were, there were always people that, like, went out for milk and never came back.

• 1:11:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:54Speaker 03

  Like, that was like, a, a very, like, relationships, I mean, I, I always think it's funny, cause people quibble with me sometimes about, you know, like, oh, is the divorce rate 46%? Or is the divorce rate 50%? And it calculates in, like, well, their second and third marriages have a higher divorce rate, so when you do the total-

• 1:12:11Chris Williamson?

  The, the guys in the Navy SEALs have got over 100% divorce rate.

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  How's that possible? That's like when they say, like, somebody watched 107% of my reels.

• 1:12:20Chris Williamson?

  Well, they just looped it again. It's the same guy going through a marriage and then getting divorced again. Maybe one, like, joke though-

• 1:12:25Speaker 01

  But two marriages, two divorces comes to 100%.

• 1:12:28Chris Williamson?

  Right, but it's one person.

• 1:12:30Speaker 03

  Right, so you're pulling up the average.

• 1:12:31Chris Williamson?

  Okay, you say, hey, there's a thousand guys, how many divorces have there been?

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  Oh, divorces per person, not divorces per marriage.

• 1:12:37Chris Williamson?

  Right, yes, yeah, I mean, that would be, actually, I guess you could get married again and then get divorced again.

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like patting your stats.

• 1:12:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. But people get very caught up in like-

• 1:12:46Chris Williamson?

  Oh, pushing the sides, then.

• 1:12:47Speaker 03

  The divorce rate, but the truth is, like, if, if you're gauging the success of marriage, like, okay, it didn't catastrophically fail, which is what divorce is. Like, the wheels came completely off and we're disbanding this legally. But then there's like, plenty of people that they just never do the paperwork and they just physically separate and they just go, okay, we're just done. And then there's people that just stay together miserable, because they don't even like each other, but they either don't wanna give up half their stuff, or they don't wanna-

• 1:13:13Chris Williamson?

  Hard to go out for milk and never come back now.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  Well, you're guaranteed to give them the house.

• 1:13:18Chris Williamson?

  If you go out for, oh yeah, cause you're basically, like, widows.

• 1:13:20Speaker 03

  You're walking away, yeah. But I know a lot of guys who do that.

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  That's what you would do.

• 1:13:24Speaker 03

  It's a very male-

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  Walk away? Give them 100%. Irish goodbye. It's all in your blood, baby.

• 1:13:29Chris Williamson?

  Irish goodbye in your marriage is crazy.

• 1:13:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a fucking-

• 1:13:33Speaker 01

  Well, we used to call it an Irish divorce, when you go out for milk and never come back.

• 1:13:36Speaker 03

  Just leave?

• 1:13:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, you just leave. Like, you just bounce and then it's like, yeah, I'm not coming home no more. Like, that's it.

• 1:13:42Chris Williamson?

  On the, your partner gains 50 pounds thing, if your partner gains 50 pounds and you're no longer attracted to them, do you think that you're allowed to say it? Like, how do you broach that stuff?

• 1:13:50Speaker 01

  I think you have an obligation to say it.

• 1:13:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  I think you have an obligation.

• 1:13:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think you have an obligation to say, there's, there's tact, I agree. And it's not just about the weight. I mean, that's a very pointed way of doing it, but like, I would want a partner to keep me accountable with certain things. Not that that's their job, but that is a value add. I, I've had that in, in relationships where it's like, do you really need to eat that? I'm serious, like, I'm not saying don't eat that or can't, and there's no shame involved. It is looking out for my best interest. And I think there's something very superficial at the looks department, but there's health involved to it and attraction involved to it and, uh, hey, you know, I, I, I'm, I'm noticing, I'm not, like, if, if my partner said, I, I, you're, I, you're very good looking, I'm still attracted to you, I love you so much, I just, like, you haven't been taking care of yourself in a certain way, I just gotta be honest with you.

• 1:14:35Chris Williamson?

  That's a lie, because they've gained 50 pounds, you're no longer attracted-

• 1:14:37Speaker 03

  But before they gained 50 pounds, they gained 20.

• 1:14:39Chris Williamson?

  You're getting there earlier.

• 1:14:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I see, I think what people need to do in relationship, and the, the mistake that most of the people who end up sitting across from me, what they didn't do, is when things change, cause they will change.

• 1:14:54Speaker 01

  No appeal.

• 1:14:55Speaker 03

  You, you have to say, like, you know, hey, let's notice that this changed, like, and just point it out. Like, I think it's the difference between a relationship that's designed and a relationship that's on default. Like, like, okay, we're not having sex as much as we used to. Let's just point that out. Maybe it's that our sex drives have changed, maybe we got kids now and it's like, you know, we're both a little all over the place, or maybe it's, what, like, it could be any number of things. Maybe you're not feeling great about your body, I'm not feeling great about, whatever it might be. But like, let's just say it out loud, because maybe we're both okay with it. Like, like, maybe you're putting on weight and you're like, yeah, I'm, I'm just like, not stressed about exercise anymore and I just feel like I wanna take a break from that and I wanna just like, you know, put on some, okay. Like, maybe it's just something that we're just gonna both be cool with and we'll talk about it that way.

• 1:15:40Chris Williamson?

  We already have identified, based on my example, that you're not cool with it.

• 1:15:43Speaker 03

  Well, and, and, but I think before it's 50 pounds, I think it would be like, hey, what's going on? Like, things are changing and I just wanna point that out, that they're changing and is there, is that something that's gonna have an impact on us long term?

• 1:15:55Chris Williamson?

  Also, is the change coming from a medical thing? Is it coming from a lack of effort?

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  Also, can guys pay you to do that for them?

• 1:16:01Speaker 03

  I mean, people have paid you almost any-

• 1:16:04Speaker 01

  You're pretty good at it. It'd be nice to be like, oh, I'm, just talk to him, he has a good, that's what I'm saying.

• 1:16:09Speaker 03

  I actually, I actually-

• 1:16:10Speaker 01

  It's a lot harder to do that.

• 1:16:11Speaker 03

  I think that there's a bunch of, I think there's, that's why I laughed when you said your wife, uh, uh, sent you the blowjobs and granola one, is that I do know a lot of guys that they're, they'll like, send my stuff-

• 1:16:22Speaker 01

  Passive aggressive.

• 1:16:23Speaker 03

  And they're like, this.

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  Passive aggressive.

• 1:16:24Speaker 03

  That's what, what, he just said.

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  The reel is a good move.

• 1:16:26Speaker 03

  What he just said, yeah.

• 1:16:27Speaker 01

  Passive aggressive reel exchange and-

• 1:16:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I don't think it has to be, like, I, actually, this is one of the reasons why I like shows like The Bachelor, Love Island, or like, any of those things, is it gives people the opportunity to talk about their relationship without talking about their relationship. Like, you sit with your, your, your girlfriend, your wife, and you're watching this show and you start talking about the couple. And you're like, you know, like, why does she do that to him? She's always like, well, maybe she's like, feeling of it. And it's like a way for us to talk about the relationship without being like, why do you do that? Like, you're just, why does she do that? Well, maybe she does that because of this. Well, yeah, but doesn't it make him feel like, and it's a way to like, have some safe distance, but still talk about feelings and relationships.

• 1:17:07Chris Williamson?

  I wonder how many, uh, how many marriages have dissolved due to a Love Island argument? Cause there was some marriages that didn't happen because of the Lindsay Clancy case. There was some people that got divorced. And then there was some people that were like, I thought that this was my person, we were about to go down the aisle and we couldn't agree on the Lindsay Clancy thing and that was, you know, that was a deal breaker.

• 1:17:25Speaker 03

  The Trump thing, once, 2016, 2016, like, we got a lot of people in like, 2017, 2018 getting divorced, cause it was like, somebody went very far right. And like, the MAGA thing, and it was like, the, the wife was very progressive liberal, a lot of women's spaces are very progressive liberal in their leanings. And the guys were feeling very seen and understood by like, a right wing movement. And it created this tremendous tension where it was like, it couldn't just be, we have different, my dad was a Reagan conservative Naval Academy graduate, my mom was like, so far left, she was like, a Marxist practically. And they were married for like, 50 plus years. And I had no choice but to see both sides of every argument and become a lawyer, I think, because they were just, they didn't agree on any political issues, but they absolutely

• 1:18:10Speaker 03

  cared about each other, loved each other, were committed to having like, the same, the concept of a family, like, but I, I really think that, that we've now created this thing where it's not enough that I disagree with your politics, you're Hitler, you know, or you're like, the worst, and I just think that that's, that's very, very bad.

• 1:18:27Chris Williamson?

  What do you think about people that are making politics like, a central reason to-

• 1:18:31Speaker 01

  It's so sad. I think it's like, the saddest thing ever. When they're just like, like, the families that don't talk to each other now?

• 1:18:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  It's, it's-

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  It's terrible.

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:41Speaker 02

  Also, I don't, I, I, I just think I've ignored it my whole life. Like, I don't, politics, I don't really care at all. And it hasn't affected me. Like, there's, I can't think of a thing that I'd be like, oh, man, if I don't even vote it, it's like, I, it doesn't affect me. And if it affects you, get involved. I don't care. I never did. My dad never cared. He's always like, fuck that shit. Just go to work and, and he's right.

• 1:19:02Speaker 01

  Put some, put some fucking dirt on it.

• 1:19:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. He's like, just go to work.

• 1:19:06Chris Williamson?

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• 1:19:50Chris Williamson?

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• 1:20:04Speaker 01

  What are the divorce rates? Um, because you know, every statistic of like, did that even happen? Was it powerful enough with like the, the gold, blue dress or whatever thing? Do you think that affected people's relationships?

• 1:20:14Chris Williamson?

  Golden blue dress thing?

• 1:20:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:15Chris Williamson?

  I have no idea. I mean, the law of large numbers means that if there's a big enough cohort of people that see anything, you get weird tail risk. Like, million to one odds happen eight times a day in New York City. Right? Because it's just so many people that random shit happens. So maybe someone did, but I, I mean, the Lindsay Clancy thing was publicized, that people fell out publicly.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  And they asked a sample of how many people who got divorced. That's just so interesting.

• 1:20:39Chris Williamson?

  They, they put it online. People were posting online. Me and my partner were going to get married. And we disagreed about this case that's going on, and now we're not going to get married. So I guess it was a, a

• 1:20:48Speaker 01

  But what about all the people that are like, oh, wow, men now empathize differently with certain chemicals and that, that happen, variables in, in another person's brain?

• 1:20:56Chris Williamson?

  The number of men that were supporting the Lindsay Clancy thing was like a handful. I think it was, it was almost entirely a gender split.

• 1:21:03Speaker 02

  Also, he could, if you were going to get married, I, even that, I would have been like, shut up. And then if you'd waited for two months, there's a huge chance. I was like, yeah, actually, that was kind of fucked up. Like, all right, can we just?

• 1:21:14Speaker 03

  I think Lindsay Clancy thing too just became such a

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  That's actually great advice.

• 1:21:18Speaker 03

  It was like a way to, you know, it became a metaphor for something that's legitimate underneath that, which is, I think there are a lot of women that do feel like, you know, they, that they're suffering in silence after they have a baby, that there's like tremendous hormonal shifts, that there's like all kinds of issues that, that, that come from that, and they feel like they weren't heard. And, and, and I, I think that this was a terrible example of like a person to go, oh, yeah, she's emblematic of that. Like, let's give her a pass. I think that's a crazy thing to, to do, but I think what's underneath it is worth looking at. Like, I, I just, I'm much, like, I'm not into politics, but I'm really interested in why people argue the things they argue. Because I, I, you know, my architecture is making arguments all the time.

• 1:22:03Speaker 03

  And, and, and again, not positions that I'm holding personally. I'm, I'm someone else's mouthpiece. So I'm trying to like, put myself in their head and go, okay, what is it? What's behind the reasoning of what's going on there?

• 1:22:14Chris Williamson?

  Crazy, uh, the crazy thing about the politics stuff, I don't know how many people actually care that much. But because everyone else says that they're supposed to care, and then that starts to reverse infect relationships. So we, I, I, I asked a bunch of, I asked everyone, uh, if they want to submit questions. And I didn't say who was going to get to answer the question, but there's a question about this from this guy called Billy. He says, hi, Chris. My fiance and I have different political and social beliefs. She is quite left-leaning on the economy, like tax, tax the rich more, and I on issues such as trans rights, climate change, and immigration. I sit more centrally or to the right of these issues. Neither of us are radical on either side, but we do have quite a few different beliefs. We agree on important things like our views on how to raise kids, where we want to live, et cetera,

• 1:22:53Chris Williamson?

  but have these alternative views that can cause conflict or often leaves me not able to say my point of view in order to avoid conflict. How should we navigate this issue? Also, I don't tell her who I vote for out of principle, but she often pressures me to tell her, regardless of whether we vote for the same party or not. I don't feel like I should be compelled to tell anyone who I vote for, interested to know your thoughts. P S, big fan of the pod and can't wait for you to get a round table of golden retrievers soon. So that was nice at the end, but that seems to me to be someone who's like,

• 1:23:18Speaker 01

  Is that question for me?

• 1:23:20Chris Williamson?

  That side of the table. It's the litigious side of the table from Billy. chriswillx.com slash stories, if you want to submit your question.

• 1:23:29Chris Williamson?

  What do you think?

• 1:23:29Speaker 01

  What do you think about that?

• 1:23:30Speaker 03

  I, I think it's really about what's underneath all of that stuff. Like, I think when someone is right-leaning, very often, if you get to the core, it's not that they're like in this cult of personality that they like Donald Trump in particular. They like that this is a person who just says what they're thinking instead of being full of shit. And they're like, oh, everybody on the left is so full of shit, you know, because they just do this performative Kamala Harris thing where it's like, you ask them a question about, you know, do you support this education bill? And they're like, children are the future, and I believe in children. It's like, answer the fucking question. Like, stop, stop doing it.

• 1:24:05Speaker 01

  So, or, or, or is everyone getting $5,000?

• 1:24:08Speaker 03

  No, but the point is, is that even though

• 1:24:10Speaker 01

  Because he's so full of shit.

• 1:24:11Speaker 03

  He's a, but, but, but he's blunt in his presentation, and at least it seems like he's answering the question. He's answering it with demonstrably false information, but at least he's actually answering the question. He's like, we should blow them up. And you're like, wait, what? No, we definitely shouldn't do that, but at least you committed to a concept.

• 1:24:28Speaker 01

  Seeing that as correct is like going to chat GPT and just trusting that there's no artifacting happening. It's just like, whatever they say is true. That's negligence. And I, I, I agree with, it, it's what's this, what, what's, what, what's triggering you underneath? But I, I mean, every, everyone's full of shit. So is there like another, and I'm asking this because is there another example?

• 1:24:50Speaker 03

  I, I don't know that everyone has to be full of shit. I actually think that, that when you, when you are incredible, I don't think even on that stage, I actually think that, that there is room on that stage right now in this zeitgeist

• 1:25:04Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:25:05Speaker 03

  For like authenticity. I think, I think right now we're dying for it.

• 1:25:08Chris Williamson?

  That was what people thought that they were getting with Trump.

• 1:25:12Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:25:12Chris Williamson?

  Thought, oh, he's taking the gloves off.

• 1:25:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:14Chris Williamson?

  And what you got was instead of slipperiness, you got like bullshit. Right? So there was slippery before you ask someone a question and they do the, well, what I think is really important is the children. You're like, dude, I asked you about that fucking thing. What do you mean? But what, so your issue is just because this guy is saying something directly that is fabricated or like a lie or whatever, as opposed to doing this sort of faux diplomacy evasive thing.

• 1:25:41Speaker 01

  I think it sucks that there is a difference to there. Us included, you give somebody a microphone and people will believe it a little bit more. It's like if something rhymes, you're like, maybe it's true. And like, you say stuff and people listen to it and they clip it. You, I don't remember what the example was, nor do I want to put that out there in case it wasn't public. But you had mentioned something back there about somebody taking a clip of something and perhaps it had no context to what you were saying.

• 1:26:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:05Speaker 01

  But through association, you're now part of that.

• 1:26:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:07Speaker 01

  And just the lack of critical thinking in people, it's like, it's not that we're, oh, we want someone to tell the truth. It's just that we want somebody to tell us what to do. And if we believe, if we choose a person, then we believe them.

• 1:26:18Chris Williamson?

  Certainty is a proxy for truthfulness and expertise, for sure.

• 1:26:21Speaker 03

  But I, I think we're just craving authenticity right now more than anything.

• 1:26:25Speaker 01

  That's why you guys would love my act.

• 1:26:26Speaker 03

  I really think we are. I really think like very basic authenticity. Like, I, I, I think we've discouraged, we've, we've discouraged people from having like normal human interactions, like there's nothing more pleasant, like we've just met today for the first time. There's something very pleasant if we just now were like, I'm going to tell you four things I already really like about you. Like, and I have them in my head right now.

• 1:26:53Chris Williamson?

  We should do that. Let's do that now. Wouldn't that be nice?

• 1:26:54Speaker 01

  Why stop at four?

• 1:26:55Speaker 03

  I think you're, I think you're really, I, obviously I think you're really funny. I think you have like a tremendous emotional intelligence and it feels like you're trying to be very authentic, even when it's kind of scary to do that. It feels like you're very like, you were talking about like things that people, men in particular, like are really uncomfortable talking about, like erectile dysfunction or feeling like you want to emotionally connect. But I think it's really, like, I think that's really cool and it says like something about who you are. I think you have an interesting style going on. You got like a little bracelet thing happening. I'm, I'm curious as to what it says or whatever, like, so these are like nice things about you. It feels nice to hear someone say nice things about you. It feels nice to hear someone say, here's what I've already started to put together, like, because we're meaning makers.

• 1:27:37Speaker 03

  Like, we're just constantly trying to like, you know, we're, we're, like, this is a symbol. That's a symbol. Like, I wore this intentionally, you wore that intentionally. So you're trying to send some message. I'm trying to send a message. No, yours is too. Yours is, I don't fucking care.

• 1:27:51Speaker 03

  But legit, like if you showed up in this, I'd be like, what the fuck's Matt up to? Like you go to court?

• 1:27:56Speaker 01

  I would think it was cool.

• 1:27:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, but like it really.

• 1:27:58Speaker 01

  I would think it was cool if you were just like that.

• 1:27:59Speaker 02

  One day.

• 1:28:00Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I mean, your wedding, you're probably.

• 1:28:02Speaker 01

  I actually, when I got here, I, and I wasn't gonna go to a store, but I had the idea of, I think it would be fun if I came in, in a, in a, in a white shirt and a dark vest and just not be.

• 1:28:12Speaker 03

  That would be amazing. That would be like, uh, when, uh, what was it? Uh, Craig Jones did Lex Friedman's show and he, and he wore Lex's tie. They wore the exact thing.

• 1:28:20Chris Williamson?

  Did you see Don Jr.'s wedding? Because this is maybe one of the most extravagant. I didn't even know that it had happened, but it's been embroiled in a bunch of Russian billionaire people giving them money and stuff like that. So Russian oligarch with ties to Putin, Umar Kremlev, apparently covered hundreds of thousands of dollars of the expenses. Don Jr. And his wife said it was a gift from a friend and denied that it was a political move. The wedding cakes required five types of transport, two cakes traveled by van, private plane, helicopter, golf cart and boat. The three day wedding and party were held across two private islands costing over a hundred thousand dollars per night to rent. The bride's reception outfit required 150 hours of embroidery. Donald Trump did not attend, saying, this is not good timing for me. I have a thing called Iran and other things on.

• 1:29:06Chris Williamson?

  He actually spent the day spamming Truth Social with AI memes.

• 1:29:10Speaker 01

  Not, not very asset light.

• 1:29:12Chris Williamson?

  Asset heavy, asset big, asset big titty goth bitch.

• 1:29:16Speaker 03

  I feel like you just did the impossible for me, which is I actually feel bad for Don Jr. Right now. Like, I feel bad that his dad didn't fucking show up. Like, that's, I don't know, doesn't that make you feel like, I, gosh. Like you get married and you have like this ridiculous wedding.

• 1:29:31Speaker 01

  I have a feeling that he's used to his dad not showing up for things.

• 1:29:34Speaker 03

  I know, but.

• 1:29:35Chris Williamson?

  It's been conditioned from the.

• 1:29:35Speaker 03

  That's a sad.

• 1:29:36Speaker 01

  That's what dads are.

• 1:29:37Speaker 03

  It's a sad image to me.

• 1:29:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:38Speaker 03

  You know, like, it's like the kid waiting with the baseball glove. Like, it just feels like, dude, like, like, maybe if I bring like a billionaires and I make it so cool, like dad will show up. And meanwhile, dad's like, no, I'm on Truth Social today.

• 1:29:50Chris Williamson?

  If I put the cake on five types of transport, then maybe dad will come.

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  I don't get it. I'm stupid.

• 1:29:55Speaker 02

  They had, they had, the cake was what, like spread across?

• 1:29:58Chris Williamson?

  It was just so big. I think that they needed like all of this, like fuckery.

• 1:30:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's really, there's just something sad about that. I really think so. I don't think the wedding was like, it probably wasn't very fun.

• 1:30:08Speaker 01

  I would, I have more than four things, but I would like to acknowledge one of them that I noticed before, but this is just an example of your, uh, willingness to be able to understand something without necessarily agreeing with it. And I think that's a great place to be when you're arguing stuff, but to see that side of it, whether that makes you empathize with him as, as in his character in a different way, who's to say? But like, you know, from a human level, look at this, I, I try very hard to do that. I ask that question a lot. I don't know if I'm good at finding the answers yet, but it seems very intuitive for you.

• 1:30:37Speaker 03

  Thanks. Yeah. No, I think, I think doing what I do for a living, you have to like really put yourself in people's head and understand them. And it's, it's a very, it's a very strange thing. I don't know if it's a good thing. It's a strange thing. Because I've represented the victim of domestic violence and I've represented the perpetrator of domestic violence. I've represented the person who's married to someone with substance use issues, and I've represented the person who has substance use issues that have blown up their marriage and.

• 1:31:01Speaker 01

  It's like us doing gambling ads.

• 1:31:02Speaker 03

  But if you spend enough time with that person, you kind of figure out there aren't like evil people doing evil things. Like they, they mistake it for happiness. Like they, they're, they're hurt people hurting people. Like they grew up in a household where there was violence and they think that that like whoever discovered water, it wasn't a fish. Like this is how they think it's supposed to be. And you just, I don't know, you spend enough time in other people's heads and you start to go like, oh, there, there maybe aren't like good people and bad people. There's like, you know, in any of us, like, I mean, you're a father, like you, if, if you judge your father-ness by your most impatient moment, when you kind of lost it with one of the kids,

• 1:31:41Speaker 03

  you're not giving you enough credit. But if I judge you by like the moment where you like totally showed up perfectly for the kid and did like, that's giving you a little too much credit. Like you're kind of the aggregate, you know, like, and, and I feel like in relationships, I think relationships are supposed to be like that. Like even friendships are supposed to be like that. Like where it's, you know, like, yeah, you showed up for me sometimes, maybe, you know, you stepped on the rake a couple of times, but like in the aggregate, we're really trying to be here for each other. We've got this thing now where it's like, if you're not perfect as a romantic partner, that's it. You're, you fucked up. You didn't find your soulmate.

• 1:32:15Chris Williamson?

  How do you think about navigating that in a marriage? Cause you are living with this person all the time. You know, you're gonna see them a lot of the time stressed, stuff going wrong. But how do you not have those flare ups sort of, I don't know, seep into resentment and bitterness and stuff like that?

• 1:32:33Speaker 02

  Dude, it's literally that. It's like the resentment's the biggest one. Like when I would catch myself, it took me years to figure this out, but I would catch myself when I'm not around that, I'm not around my wife being like, yeah, fucking she thinks. And if I'm doing that cycle of like, yeah, shut the fuck up. Yeah, I hope she, she fucking says. And I'm like, stop, whatever this is, just stop. And then I just like, is you can get really caught in this weird, once you start keeping score of like.

• 1:32:55Chris Williamson?

  It's like a fantasy. It's a fantasy storm.

• 1:32:57Speaker 02

  And it makes you feel horrible and angry all the time where you have to just be like, you start to kind of accept the person, be like, that's just a thing they have. Like a, like I, I would get nagged all the time and I would be like, stop fucking nagging. And it would make me mad. And then it was just like, wait, cause we went to marriage counseling and there's like, why, why do you get so mad about that? And it was like, cause she points out, I did something wrong. I feel fucking horrible. And then he's like, yeah, but like, why do you feel that bad about it? Like you don't care if the garage is up or down. Like why, if she says it, do you all of a sudden care? I was like, damn, good call. So like now I can, I can like finally, it's great. Yeah. It was a great move. I can finally feel the criticism. And if I, if I don't care about it, I'm like, okay.

• 1:33:36Chris Williamson?

  It's hard to not take stuff like that personally, I guess.

• 1:33:38Speaker 02

  Dude, but the thing is it would floor me. If it'd be like, did you open the mail? I did, I did, why the fuck do you care if I opened the mail?

• 1:33:45Speaker 01

  Just saying yes and letting it be.

• 1:33:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. And be like, yeah, I actually did open the mail.

• 1:33:48Speaker 03

  See, I think underneath that is something I think is incredibly romantic. And that is that you're like, you're, see like for, for me as a man, most of the time when I'm angry, it's that I'm really sad.

• 1:34:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:03Speaker 03

  But anger feels more active. So I feel like I have control still, whereas sad, I just feel like I'm just like, the rain is falling on me and I'm just like passively. And I don't like that. Like it makes so like, like a lot of what I, in my own therapy, like a lot of what I work with my therapist about is like, when I think I'm angry, it's actually like, no, you're sad. Like, and when, and you go, well, what do you do with that sadness? And it's like, you just feel it. And I'm like, great, but how do I get rid of that? And they're like, you, you don't, you just feel it. Like, you just feel it. Like, and I, I think underneath what you're saying there is like, well, I didn't care about the garage and like, and you're frustrated, but it's like, fuck, like I want to be good at this. Like I want to be good at loving you. Like I want to be a good husband. I want you to love me. I want you to like, look at me and go,

• 1:34:45Speaker 03

  holy shit, you're awesome, you know? And fuck, I fucked that up. Like, and you, and you made it really hard, like to, to get it right. Like I didn't know I was supposed to do the garage. Like I did these other five things. Like, why didn't she give me any credit for those five things? Like I, I got the granola, you know, like come on.

• 1:34:59Speaker 02

  That's literally, that'd be on repeat in your head.

• 1:35:02Speaker 03

  But what you just said is like, when you, the minute you're keeping score, but see like, and this is where it's challenging. Cause I think, I think you have to notice things. Like that's why I said earlier, you have to pay attention. But when people say to me, marriage is hard work. I'm like, yeah, if you consider paying attention, hard work, marriage is hard work. Paying attention doesn't have to be that hard. Noticing changes, saying them out loud isn't that hard, but like.

• 1:35:24Chris Williamson?

  You've gained weight.

• 1:35:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:26Speaker 01

  Or I've gained weight.

• 1:35:27Speaker 03

  I've gained weight. Or like what's happening with our bodies right now? What's happening with our routine? What's happening with our diet?

• 1:35:33Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, honey. I thought my dick would shrink with age, but unfortunately we're stuck with this piece.

• 1:35:37Speaker 03

  Unroll this thing. The edible's kicking in and now he's like.

• 1:35:41Speaker 01

  I'm trying. There's so many times I want to interrupt already.

• 1:35:45Chris Williamson?

  You should keep a log and now you can just unload them all. Go on.

• 1:35:50Speaker 01

  Now he's on the spot.

• 1:35:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's, that is the thing. It's, it's, um, figuring out how to be like, all right, why am I getting spazzed? I personally think as the, uh, let's say you have a family and you're the dad. Your job is to keep a level head. Cause women do have, they have hormonal fluctuations. It's like, you know, it's a real thing that if you like, bring it up, they'll be like, fuck you, but they'll tell you like, it's a real thing. I get.

• 1:36:13Speaker 01

  If you bring it up after it, they're cool with it.

• 1:36:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:36:15Speaker 01

  If you bring it up while they're in it, you're a dead man.

• 1:36:17Speaker 02

  But it's a real thing. It's, they, they wobble. They, they do wobble and you have to be, they'll wobble and you have to not wobble. And be like, chill out, everything's fine. But if you freak out, the whole house falls into ruin. I'm sure it flips and certain, but like in the aggregate for sure.

• 1:36:32Speaker 03

  I remember when my sons were teenagers and I said to, I said to my therapist at the time, I was like having an issue with teenager. And, and he was like, I said something about like, yeah, I just like started yelling at him about it. And he's like, oh, no, no, no, never yell at a teenager. And I was like, why? He's like, because whatever's coming out of your mouth, if you're yelling, what you're telling a teenager is I'm out of control. And the message you want to send to a teenager is I am in control all the time.

• 1:36:59Speaker 01

  It's like talking to a dog.

• 1:37:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. Like the confidence is like a huge piece of it. And I think you're, like, I think actually, and, and it took me like a good 40 something years to figure out that like women's hormones really do. Like they don't teach us this.

• 1:37:12Speaker 02

  I'm literally 40.

• 1:37:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, but like they just, but once you learn, it's like a life hack. Because when they're in that like hormonal, like everything is, you know, fade. Like you, you do not want to point that out, but four days, five days later, if you go, you know, I think last week, like it seems like you were kind of having a hard time. They're like, yeah, it was fucked up. I was like, I was really coming out of my skin. And then they feel seen, but in it, like you couldn't then 28 days later say like, oh, I think you're kind of in it right now. They'd be like, no, I'm not, you know? So you have to like be a little cautious as to how you handle. But see, again, I think. Why, why, why is this like unmaneuled? Like, there should just be like an opera. Like, I don't think this has to be as difficult. Like, we could talk about this stuff more honestly.

• 1:37:56Speaker 03

  We could be a little bit more like, like, we get mad at the fact that people are bad at relationships. But no one really ever teaches us much about relationships. Like, we watch our parents who watch their parents. And that's how we're learning how to do relationships. Or we watch like the equivalent of porn. We watch like romantic comedies where everything's like perfect and everything's like, and by the way, like, it ends. So, you know, like, like, like if Jack lived at the end of Titanic, like, you'd think she wouldn't eventually have been like, all right, stop painting the fucking French girls. You gotta get a job, dude. Like, there would have been some, but he dies. So it's like, okay, now it's, you know, they, they live happily ever after. I, I don't think in relationship that like, we have to have it.

• 1:38:40Speaker 03

  We could do better at like talking about this stuff, teaching people about this stuff when they're younger. Like, I just think it's something that doesn't have to be. It's like getting mad, like, it's like having your, your training and driving from watching the Dukes of Hazzard. And you're like, why does my car always end up in ditches? Like, it's just, you, you, there's ways to learn this that are much clearer, you know, and easier.

• 1:38:59Speaker 02

  No, I've heard that a lot, too. Like, you know, there's that lady who had the thing, like, must be forty years old, independently wealthy. There are, I run across dudes a lot.

• 1:39:07Chris Williamson?

  Post-economic.

• 1:39:09Speaker 03

  Post-economic.

• 1:39:09Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 1:39:10Chris Williamson?

  Correcting thirty-five to forty-two.

• 1:39:12Speaker 02

  True, thank you. There, I've, I've seen dudes do it, though, where they're like, I just want a woman who just like, is like, for real, like, stays rational all the time. I don't understand why they have to like, you know, like, it's, things won't make sense. And it's like, at a certain point, you're like, this, this, I'm not being a dick, but it's true. It's like, women are very much different from men. And once you get to the point where you can almost appreciate it, when they kind of even get a little, they're kind of wacky. You're like, you know, you're kind of like, ah, that's, you're just, you're a lady. Like, this is what you, if you were, if you were as rational, you know, in certain contexts as me, you would just be a dude. I've had to tell a lot of my friends this, who are like, I just want to find, like, we get to gel on everything. I'm like, no, dude, she's gonna freak out and like, make you feel horrible.

• 1:39:51Chris Williamson?

  Turn gay.

• 1:39:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. I was like, you're describing a guy.

• 1:39:55Speaker 03

  Well, a lot of my gay male friends, like, I think what they describe as, as one of the benefits of being in a same-sex relationship is that, like, you, you get this person, like, their, their, their drives are similar to yours, their hormones are similar to yours. Like, you just want to like, fuck, go to the gym, like, that's, you know.

• 1:40:11Chris Williamson?

  You, you say that, but that wouldn't explain why lesbian relationships are so unsuccessful.

• 1:40:17Speaker 03

  Well, it's, it's.

• 1:40:18Speaker 02

  I'll take this.

• 1:40:18Speaker 03

  It's the emotionality.

• 1:40:20Speaker 02

  I'll take.

• 1:40:20Chris Williamson?

  Speaking for the lesbians in the room.

• 1:40:22Speaker 03

  No, I'm just joking. But I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I just, I hate thinking about lesbian divorce.

• 1:40:28Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:40:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do. And a happy thing. I know.

• 1:40:31Speaker 02

  What's, what's messed up is like, dude, if you think about, I was thinking about this the other day. People pay money for testosterone because it like enhances them. And if a woman's pregnant, she gets like a mega dose of the female hormones and they get like nauseous. They feel fucked up.

• 1:40:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:40:48Speaker 02

  It's, if it's kind of a damning biological kind of indicator, where like, it, that's how bad it sucks to be a lady. Like, your essence in terms of hormones is like a poison. Whereas a guy's is like a godly chemical, where you become like stronger and jacked and like, you don't even need sleep anymore. It's just, it sucks to think about.

• 1:41:09Speaker 02

  It's fucked up.

• 1:41:10Speaker 03

  Definitely just.

• 1:41:11Speaker 02

  No one would.

• 1:41:11Speaker 03

  I would choose to be a guy always.

• 1:41:13Speaker 02

  I know. It's, it's not even, it's not even.

• 1:41:16Chris Williamson?

  We got the better end of the deal.

• 1:41:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, a hundred percent.

• 1:41:18Speaker 03

  I think, I think our, our.

• 1:41:19Chris Williamson?

  And we get to look at ladies, which I'm sorry, just such objectively, we got the better end of the deal.

• 1:41:27Speaker 02

  Which is rare in nature. In nature, if you think about it, male lions have a big mane, male peacocks have a sick-ass tail.

• 1:41:33Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:41:34Speaker 02

  They're like the only.

• 1:41:35Speaker 03

  The shit they're trying to do to get laid, though.

• 1:41:37Speaker 02

  I know, true.

• 1:41:38Speaker 03

  Like, what they have to do to get laid. Like, we have to do a whole nother set of things.

• 1:41:42Speaker 02

  True, true.

• 1:41:43Speaker 03

  They have to get the peacock stuff and like, we have to, you know, we have to do so much shit. I mean, how much of what we do from like, whatever, fifteen on, is to get laid ultimately?

• 1:41:55Speaker 02

  Pretty much everything. It's everything. It's literally everything.

• 1:41:57Speaker 03

  There's no other drive. No, nobody gives a fuck about watches and cars. It's like, I want to, indicators of like, you know, look status, like, look at me, like, come on, please touch it. Like, it's all, really all it is.

• 1:42:09Chris Williamson?

  Have you ever seen that Futurama episode where sex robots are invented? And all of society just grinds to a halt?

• 1:42:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:17Chris Williamson?

  And they're like, oh, it does turn out that everything that guys were doing was just to get laid. And they can get laid on demand, like, everything's just stopped.

• 1:42:24Speaker 02

  It's over, yeah.

• 1:42:25Chris Williamson?

  It's game over.

• 1:42:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's no five.

• 1:42:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, and women, women have always been the gatekeepers of sex, like, a hundred percent of the time. And the example I've always given of this is that, like, like, women don't like shaving their legs. If all the women tomorrow said, we're not shaving our legs anymore, are you telling me guys to be like, well, then we're not having sex with you?

• 1:42:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:42:45Speaker 03

  Like, fuck that. But there'd just be that one bitch. There'd just be that one. It was like, wait, none of them are shaving their leg? Yeah, I'd shave my, I just like it, I do it for me. It's not even, I don't, and then, and then all of a sudden, they're.

• 1:42:58Chris Williamson?

  This is the same problem with UBI. It's the same problem. If everybody gets the same income, immediately you want to separate yourself out from the thing that everybody's got. Can you tell Matt that story of how you were convinced to shave on weekends by ex-girlfriends?

• 1:43:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, actually, you're, as a married man, you might appreciate this. So I, I was, this is, I tell the story as an example of like, how you frame something very much changes how your partner feels about it. So I was dating a girl who had very sensitive skin. And I, I do like have like a, it comes in pretty thick, my beard, and it's like stubbly. But I like the clean shaving thing. So I shave all during the week so I can have the lawyer thing going on. And then on the weekends, I wouldn't shave. So I'm dating this girl and I go to like, you know, I would like kiss her or whatever, and she would get like, rip, like, you know, like, stop, whatever on her skin. What the fuck are the two of you? Trying to keep a straight face.

• 1:44:02Speaker 02

  That's a classic gag.

• 1:44:04Speaker 03

  That is like a real Tom Selleck. Yeah. It feels almost Freudian, like, it's a real.

• 1:44:13Speaker 02

  So you're saying that you're scratching.

• 1:44:15Chris Williamson?

  I don't know, they're never gonna recover from this.

• 1:44:16Speaker 02

  What happened to the lesbians and the divorce was the reason?

• 1:44:18Speaker 03

  Super high.

• 1:44:19Chris Williamson?

  Very high, very high, lots of deadbed room, lots of domestic violence.

• 1:44:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, a lot of this violence, yeah. And by the way, until I've represented, I've represented a number of lesbian women.

• 1:44:28Speaker 02

  What was that like?

• 1:44:29Speaker 03

  It's, I would say something, there's something uniquely fucking weird about hearing a woman say to me, if that fucking bitch thinks she's gonna get half my business, she's fucking god, she's kidding.

• 1:44:42Chris Williamson?

  Like, because you're used to hearing.

• 1:44:43Speaker 03

  I'm used to hearing that out of a man, a hundred percent. But to hear a woman saying it about a woman, I, my brain went like, oh, that's so weird. Like, it feels weird.

• 1:44:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, that is strange.

• 1:44:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was strange. It was.

• 1:44:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have a feeling if that gets wet, it's gonna have like a, like a.

• 1:45:00Speaker 02

  So what happened with the scratchy?

• 1:45:02Speaker 03

  Oh, it's the shaving. So I, I, I would shave during the week and then on the weekends, I wouldn't shave. And I would tend to see her on the weekends and then I would like go to kiss her or whatever. And she'd be like, oh, your beard's so scratchy. Relationship ended eventually for unrelated reasons, but maybe related reasons. The next woman I dated was the exact same. She had like sensitive skin, she liked re-clean shaving. But instead of being like, oh, your beard's so scratchy, she, every time I would shave, she'd be like, oh, like, you're so, it's so sexy when you just shave. You're like Don Draper on Mad Men, like, I love it.

• 1:45:30Speaker 02

  Awesome.

• 1:45:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would shave like three times a day. Every time I was gonna, and I would even like shave and then I would be like, oh, I shaved. And she'd be like, oh, yeah, I noticed, you know? But it was just a matter of like, you know, like, how you frame the thing. It wasn't, and I've said, like, men, it's the same thing. Like, if you're like, how come we don't have sex as often as we used to? All right, you're ready, she's in a defensive position.

• 1:45:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:49Speaker 03

  Whereas if you were like, oh, you know what? I was driving home from work and I drove past that restaurant. Remember that restaurant we went to, like, on like our third date?

• 1:45:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:57Speaker 03

  I remember we went back to our apartment after.

• 1:45:59Speaker 02

  I would love to go.

• 1:46:00Speaker 03

  And that was, remember after we went to the apartment and we just like stayed in bed for like a day and a half? That was so, now I'm with you, like, we're.

• 1:46:07Speaker 02

  Let's not even go to dinner and let me suck on your big fucking cock.

• 1:46:11Speaker 03

  Wow, wow.

• 1:46:12Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 1:46:12Speaker 03

  Escalated quickly.

• 1:46:13Speaker 02

  I need to leave.

• 1:46:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:46:14Chris Williamson?

  You should have put the moustache on for that bit.

• 1:46:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, true. Yeah, that, that, uh, that's a tricky one to figure out, how to bring it up.

• 1:46:20Speaker 03

  Well, how do you like, I, I think the way to do it is to bring a person back to where, it's kind of like when you've, when you have a couple that clearly does not fucking like each other at the dinner party. If you do the like, oh, so how did you guys meet? That's actually the best way to like bring them back to that place.

• 1:46:36Chris Williamson?

  I have, I have a question. Rick, you seem to be the sort of person who, in social situations, sort of calls out the subtext, like the under, unspoken thing that's kind of in the air. How do you feel if you're at dinner with a couple and there's obviously an awful lot of tension between the two of them? Is that the sort of thing that's palpable to you? Does that make you uncomfortable? I say, what makes?

• 1:46:59Speaker 02

  Are you talking to me?

• 1:47:00Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, when I said your name at the very start, unless you changed name.

• 1:47:03Speaker 03

  I was just being playful. I'm sorry for whatever I triggered and I'm curious what it was.

• 1:47:07Chris Williamson?

  Here we go.

• 1:47:08Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:47:08Chris Williamson?

  The, see, that's the fourth wall breaking thing that I'm talking about. This is the skill set that's precisely why you need to be a mediator for marriages.

• 1:47:15Speaker 03

  You want to do a two-man act?

• 1:47:17Speaker 02

  Mediation, no money in mediation.

• 1:47:19Speaker 03

  Oh, sorry, I forgot, that's a difference. You do it for money. Yeah, litigation, yeah. I do it. Why do you do your job? Service. Do you? Just like my buddy. I do it for the justice.

• 1:47:28Speaker 02

  What'd you, what'd you point out when the people are fighting?

• 1:47:31Speaker 03

  Uh, I think that if it were to the point where I felt that I wanted to acknowledge, like, if I don't want to, like, if they're doing their thing and I just have to be there and like, they need to do their thing, I'm no part of this, then I wouldn't acknowledge it. If like, we're here for something and, or I felt the projected want to service the other people who I'm assuming are having the same discomfort that I'm having, I might, I, I would probably say something and it depends on my relationship. If you guys were fighting and you guys are buddies, I would like, I would be like, hey, you know, I'm tired, you know? Maybe be a little bit lighter, just let's, let's, it's fine, let's not do this now. But if like, if this was something about, something that has that, like, importance to it, like, you, uh, you,

• 1:48:13Speaker 03

  not only did you take too long to pick up your son, but also it was way too long and in a dangerous part of town. And I believed that point of view, I would instead, I wouldn't say break it up. I would be like, I think you're missing what he's trying to say.

• 1:48:27Chris Williamson?

  Take sides.

• 1:48:27Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:48:29Speaker 02

  Or translate.

• 1:48:30Speaker 03

  I think what he's saying is. That's what, thank you.

• 1:48:31Chris Williamson?

  You're a bad mediator.

• 1:48:32Speaker 03

  Thank you, no, no.

• 1:48:33Chris Williamson?

  Good, taking sides, bad.

• 1:48:34Speaker 03

  Well, it take, taking, taking sides, you're right, that wasn't right. But it would be technically taking a side because I'm translating your perspective. But he has one as well. You know, good lawyers understand the, the law, but great lawyers, they live forever. Legends.

• 1:48:53Chris Williamson?

  They never die.

• 1:48:56Speaker 02

  I was with him for a second.

• 1:48:57Speaker 01

  Do you want me to leave?

• 1:48:59Chris Williamson?

  No.

• 1:48:59Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:48:59Chris Williamson?

  No, now you're doing.

• 1:49:00Speaker 01

  Oh, but the audience does. I read the comments only while they're writing them while we're filming it. That's the only comment.

• 1:49:05Chris Williamson?

  Imagining them before I've even sent it back.

• 1:49:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you know, you know what hurts? Not the bad comments hurt and the good comments feel good. The good comments are either wrong or like I already knew that. And the bad comments that I disagree with, you know, that's the internet. It's the ones that I agree with. And I'm agreeing with you guys at home right now, and I'm sorry.

• 1:49:23Chris Williamson?

  So you're saying that novel criticisms, that you have an, oh, that's a novel way to insult me that I haven't heard before. But the way that you complimented me is something that I'm kind of familiar with and it seems a little, it seems a little bit.

• 1:49:33Speaker 01

  If I'm funny and you laugh, I'm not saying thank you.

• 1:49:36Speaker 03

  First of all, a novel, a novel insult is great.

• 1:49:40Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:49:40Chris Williamson?

  Then they're funny.

• 1:49:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. Like I have to tell you, like when someone insults me in a way that like is accurate and funny, I, I have.

• 1:49:48Speaker 01

  Connect to them a little bit. Yeah.

• 1:49:49Speaker 03

  I'm like, oh my God, I love that.

• 1:49:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, someone pointed out that my eyes are really close together and I never stop thinking about it. I'm always like.

• 1:49:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, they are.

• 1:49:56Speaker 02

  I was like, they're really close together.

• 1:49:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I love that.

• 1:49:59Speaker 02

  It kind of did make me laugh though.

• 1:50:00Speaker 03

  It's like I, I was watching outtakes of.

• 1:50:02Speaker 02

  Like you ate something sour all the time.

• 1:50:04Speaker 03

  I was watching.

• 1:50:08Speaker 01

  Do you laugh more into the microphone?

• 1:50:10Speaker 02

  I have predator eyes really, but.

• 1:50:12Speaker 03

  I was watching outtakes of Veep.

• 1:50:14Chris Williamson?

  I love Veep.

• 1:50:15Speaker 03

  It's amazing. It stands up. It is so good. And I, I watch it. It's like become like my, my like, my like self-soothing. Like if I've had like a long day, I'm like, I'm just gonna like.

• 1:50:24Chris Williamson?

  ASMR.

• 1:50:25Speaker 03

  Watch. Yeah, I just watch Veep and you could just jump into any season and it's amazing. But some of the insults they hurl at each other are so precision strikes. And apparently like a lot of them were improvised. And if you watch like the outtakes, sometimes they hit so hard that the person just busts out and it ruins the scene. But it's something like go on YouTube and watch like Veep outtakes or Veep bloopers. Half the time it's just that somebody just launched an insult that, because some of those insults are so.

• 1:50:55Chris Williamson?

  You guys have done like TV comedy stuff. When you're doing the improv thing, ad hocking, surely, yes, hooray. We couldn't have even written this. It only was able to happen in the moment. But then you have the difficulty of everyone on set trying to keep a straight face to something they weren't expecting. Like.

• 1:51:11Speaker 01

  You just do a pickup.

• 1:51:13Chris Williamson?

  Oh, right. Okay. So we've come up with it. All right. Now that everyone's dissipated.

• 1:51:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, you try it again and or you keep, you keep the delivery, but you cut to a different reaction shot. Especially if you're television, it's, it's all in the edit, baby.

• 1:51:24Chris Williamson?

  Just hide it in the edit. We'll fix it in post.

• 1:51:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:51:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, it, it's like, I, I think what you're saying, like it's, it's so funny. People are laughing. But there's also the flip side where you're trying to like ad lib and everyone's just staring at you like, why are you wasting our time? And you're like.

• 1:51:38Chris Williamson?

  Shit, so you bombed on set.

• 1:51:40Speaker 02

  You can, yeah.

• 1:51:41Chris Williamson?

  Oh, that's gotta hurt.

• 1:51:42Speaker 02

  If you go off script and it doesn't kill, you're kind of like, God, I'm the biggest loser in the world.

• 1:51:46Chris Williamson?

  You literally gave me a gimme straight down the middle of the plate and I decided to try and do something sexy.

• 1:51:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's bad feeling.

• 1:51:51Speaker 01

  I'm filming a, a show at the moment. It's a single camera show because this is different specifically for multi-camera. And for people at home that don't know, multi-camera is like a play. There's one of the walls is cameras and you're, you're performing to a live audience and gauging their reaction. And he was talking to me about, about, which is a great observation that I don't think I, I ever articulated myself, but like.

• 1:52:13Speaker 01

  Joking a joke oftentimes by default isn't great. Do you, do you know that term joking? Like here's a joke and now you make another joke. Is this joke a tag that adds to this or does it cannibalize this because it, you lose the reality of what this might be? Or now we didn't have time to process, whatever it is. But in multi-cams, you go out and you do, let's say three takes and you go out there and you do the way it's scripted and it's funny and it gets a laugh. The second take, you do it again. It doesn't get as big of a laugh because they heard it already. So then you like, you try and perform as if the home audience, the people watching the show heard all three versions, but they don't. So now when you heighten option three, it's really funny to the people there and you feel it because we were all part of something that isn't going to translate.

• 1:52:55Speaker 01

  So there's kind of like this, if you follow the laughs, just keep in mind what they're laughing at. And I think this is true outside of even performance. But like, sometimes we do something because of our past experiences led us to believe that it would be funny to be, say something shocking about somebody's sexuality. Because of course I have no hate for this, but they don't know that yet. And like judging by people's reactions, uh, could be very dangerous. And I thought that was an interesting way of saying it. Like if you've heard it once, now you think the next thing's funnier than that, only because it's different.

• 1:53:27Chris Williamson?

  Well, also if you've been friends with someone for ages and you know that they're very nice, that they've got gay friends, that they don't have any hate in their heart. And then you're on a podcast or maybe you're with a new group of friends or whatever, that don't have that same level of context. You make the joke, one or a few people get it and everyone else is like.

• 1:53:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's the danger though. That's the danger of the internet. Because like you, you do, you either have to be very careful in your curation of the things you say and how they can be so easily taken out of context. Or you just have to like, just assume everybody knows where your heart is at.

• 1:54:00Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, you can have massive context. That's one solution, but basically everyone is seeing you for the first time. I think assuming that everyone is seeing you for the first time is probably like the safer way to go about it, but it makes everything really bland.

• 1:54:11Speaker 03

  It's so scary.

• 1:54:12Chris Williamson?

  Because you've got to play, you'd want, the example that I think of is when we're doing blogs, sometimes if we do a training blog and someone comes through. Sometimes we're training in a gym and the music's really loud and we can use software that gets rid of the music. So it's just us talking, but we're still shouting. We're still yelling at each other because what we heard was music that the audience now doesn't hear and that's.

• 1:54:32Speaker 01

  Have you seen the Friends, uh, where they took the, the, the audience laughter out? Have you seen any of those?

• 1:54:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:54:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:54:37Speaker 01

  And they're just, hey, I really like your shirt. Do they not have it in large?

• 1:54:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like, it's really weird.

• 1:54:45Speaker 01

  Because I think.

• 1:54:45Speaker 03

  It seems so strange.

• 1:54:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:54:47Speaker 03

  And the jokes actually aren't funny. Like a lot of them aren't funny.

• 1:54:51Chris Williamson?

  Here we go.

• 1:54:51Speaker 03

  Like they're just not, like a lot of them aren't funny.

• 1:54:54Speaker 01

  Some people don't like country music. Doesn't mean it's not good.

• 1:54:57Chris Williamson?

  What happened?

• 1:54:57Speaker 03

  No, some country music is just objectively bad.

• 1:55:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:00Chris Williamson?

  Friends is good.

• 1:55:01Speaker 03

  What a. Friends has some moments, but come on.

• 1:55:03Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, have you ever, have you ever been with somebody that wasn't great just because they had some moments?

• 1:55:09Speaker 03

  I don't know. Yeah, it's friends is.

• 1:55:11Speaker 01

  That's not, that's not in my top 10 by any means. Maybe probably on top 20, but when I watch it, I'm like.

• 1:55:15Speaker 03

  I'm in the position of defending friends. That's really.

• 1:55:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause I, I, cause I, cause I think that art form is, is not that it needs to be, but it is a bit antiquated. And watching it as these are real people having conversations is a way to receive that. That isn't necessarily the case versus like, here is a play that we're watching within this world.

• 1:55:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:55:34Chris Williamson?

  What happened to that style of like production? Cause that seemed to be.

• 1:55:38Speaker 01

  People started, sitcoms are by design joke machines, not for better or worse. People in, kind of like what you're saying, want more real. I think that's very true with, with the arts as well. And if you didn't grow up watching that kind of stuff and that's not part of what your palette is, you, you don't believe, because it's not. A lot of people look at that. That's not how people really talk. Of course not. This is a silly play. It's a comic book strip. And I think people either don't appreciate that or just don't want that. Otherwise they would be doing it more. It's the cheapest kind of show to make. It's the easiest kind of show to make.

• 1:56:12Chris Williamson?

  Largely.

• 1:56:12Speaker 01

  Sometimes you make swing sets, but yeah, not only that, but with scheduling, it's all, not only is it all indoor, so you don't have to worry about lighting. It's all at the same place and everybody shows up there and then you kind of get it. So my first job was a multi cam and you read the script and then the next three, four days is literally, it's all about camera blocking and just how you deliver the joke. The, the most work is which way are we facing for this? That's a science that isn't specific to one show. So people already have it down. So it's, it's hard for the writers because it's joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. But like, there are shows when they have it in there in season three, season four, where they do four day weeks. They rehearse for three days. They film the show on a half day and then that's it. People say it's like the cushiest gig you could get as a director.

• 1:56:55Speaker 01

  It's like you want to get into the multi cam and there's only like, I'm making this number up, so I won't. A few amount of multi cam directors that they know how to do it. They know how to pace it. They know how to talk to actors. They know how to turn a joke. And that's like the gig.

• 1:57:06Chris Williamson?

  Super efficient to make.

• 1:57:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, you could, you could work 25 hours a week instead of 70.

• 1:57:10Speaker 03

  About developing a palette. I think like you develop like almost a comedic palette. Like I think that.

• 1:57:16Chris Williamson?

  I need to move you that way. You are gravitating to what understandably.

• 1:57:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's got that aura.

• 1:57:22Chris Williamson?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel crazy when I watch sitcoms now. If I try to watch like Big Bang Theory, I'm like, this is.

• 1:57:27Speaker 01

  What about the ones you grew up with?

• 1:57:29Speaker 02

  I haven't seen them in a while. I used to love them.

• 1:57:31Speaker 03

  But see that when that was what was on the menu.

• 1:57:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:34Speaker 03

  That was what you were consuming. And then because you were used to that, when Arrested Development or The Office or something came and it kind of was different than that. All of a sudden it was like, wait, what's this?

• 1:57:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:49Speaker 03

  Like I genuinely think if right now you did like a Friends type of thing, like a, like a multi cam, like if you did that. There would actually be for, for young people who didn't grow up on that, they might be like, oh, this is something different. I think it's, it's like developing a palette. Like I really think that this all moves in like a.

• 1:58:06Chris Williamson?

  How long the cycle needs to go before having multi cam audience, what's it called? Crowd in a studio crowd, whatever it's called. Well, that's like so old that it could be new again.

• 1:58:18Speaker 03

  I think we're probably there. I think if someone did it right now, it could be really.

• 1:58:21Speaker 01

  There's still multi-cams all the time.

• 1:58:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I mean.

• 1:58:25Speaker 01

  So I think when Vine came out, things changed.

• 1:58:30Speaker 01

  Things changed to where people were having stages before it was curated. You know what I'm saying? So like before I would ever see your, the first time I, if I didn't know you, I wasn't in this world. The first time I saw you might be a stand up special. And now I've been introduced to you when you have earned the stage. When Vine came out, there were a lot of people, for better and for worse, that didn't have to go through those channels to be allowed to be seen by a Netflix or whatever. So other people were able to find them and, and for better and for worse, it has a less curated, less polished thing. But now there are so many people that have stages where there's the multicam, there's the single cam.

• 1:59:15Speaker 01

  Zoom out a little bit, it's just network television. Zoom out a little bit more, it's television shows. And that is already such a subcategory of what people wanna watch for better and for worse. That I think if you're not gonna be able to learn an art form and instead you're just learning to be distracted deep. I think that you're not looking for something that has that kind of stuff. You're looking for something else. You're looking for something to be distracted. You're looking for some goth chick with big tits or, you know, a person that you love from something else. Let's see him in this show. And I don't think we have relationships for better and for worse with that kind of stuff anymore. We loved Full House. We love Family Matters. We love Bob, Boy Meets World.

• 1:59:55Speaker 03

  What, what are those?

• 1:59:55Speaker 01

  It's just shows that were beloved. The Cosby Show.

• 1:59:58Speaker 02

  But there was like five sitcoms.

• 2:00:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:00:01Speaker 02

  Like there was so little choice.

• 2:00:03Speaker 01

  Not only there are more channels though, I think all those channels are still such a small part of what you're watching on YouTube or podcasts or shorts or reality.

• 2:00:11Speaker 03

  But people aren't watching anywhere near as much of like.

• 2:00:14Speaker 01

  That's why I think multicams aren't gonna come back.

• 2:00:16Chris Williamson?

  What was the most concurrent viewed show on British television? I'm pretty sure it was Only Fools and Horses. You ever hear of that show? Fuck me, that is crazy. I'm, I'm not kidding. I think it was like tens of millions of people in a country that only had like 30 million or something at the time. Like a third of the.

• 2:00:37Speaker 01

  That would be a six, or two thirds.

• 2:00:39Chris Williamson?

  Fuck me, the funeral of Princess Diana was 32 million.

• 2:00:44Speaker 02

  Royal family, you guys are obsessed with the fucking queen.

• 2:00:47Chris Williamson?

  We do, uh, Paula Thirteen.

• 2:00:50Speaker 02

  It's just soccer and the queen.

• 2:00:51Chris Williamson?

  It's all people dying. It's people dying in sport, that's it.

• 2:00:55Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 2:00:56Chris Williamson?

  Oh, and some space stuff.

• 2:00:58Speaker 02

  Sport is football, that's it. Well, you got Olympics too.

• 2:01:00Chris Williamson?

  Oh, here we go.

• 2:01:01Speaker 02

  There we go, EastEnders.

• 2:01:03Chris Williamson?

  Wow, someone.

• 2:01:04Speaker 02

  What is, I'm sorry, what is this statistic? English TV.

• 2:01:06Chris Williamson?

  Most watched, uh.

• 2:01:09Speaker 02

  Wow, serves his wife Angie with divorce papers, EastEnders.

• 2:01:13Chris Williamson?

  Dude, imagine 30 million people watching a TV show.

• 2:01:17Speaker 01

  I don't even know that show.

• 2:01:19Chris Williamson?

  EastEnders?

• 2:01:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:01:20Chris Williamson?

  So it is about people in London. It's probably one of the longest running. There's basically like two or three big, uh, long running. I don't know if it's a sitcom, I guess, it's not a comedy, it's like a drama. Uh, one's in London, one is in the countryside, uh, and another one is in Manchester. Coronation Street, you heard of Coronation Street?

• 2:01:38Speaker 01

  Is that where, uh, the, where she got, Queen Elizabeth got coronated?

• 2:01:42Chris Williamson?

  Unfortunately, it's another drama show like this.

• 2:01:44Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:01:45Speaker 02

  Look at the dates on these, 86, 87, 85. Like there's, none of these crack 2000s.

• 2:01:51Chris Williamson?

  Good that Miss World, 1967, where Miss Peru won there, Madeleine Hartog Bell.

• 2:01:56Speaker 01

  Cable.

• 2:01:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. But not even cable, I really think the, the internet democratized audience.

• 2:02:02Speaker 01

  There's like nothing.

• 2:02:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, but once you democratized like, like the ability to show content.

• 2:02:06Chris Williamson?

  Too many.

• 2:02:07Speaker 02

  I, I think, I don't know if it's true, but they said now with a lot of movies, they have to, they encourage them to kind of almost re-explain the plot every so many minutes.

• 2:02:15Chris Williamson?

  People are distracted.

• 2:02:16Speaker 02

  People are distracted.

• 2:02:16Speaker 01

  I saw that.

• 2:02:17Speaker 02

  So they're constantly like having to be like, so here's the mission, here's what we're doing.

• 2:02:20Speaker 01

  They're assuming that people are watching the television as one of two devices.

• 2:02:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:02:24Speaker 01

  So they have to repilot things.

• 2:02:26Speaker 02

  They wanna start.

• 2:02:26Speaker 01

  Or have the dialogue really explain things.

• 2:02:28Chris Williamson?

  Exposition. Like just doing tons and tons of exposition over and over again.

• 2:02:31Speaker 01

  But the, the, what, I don't know if that's true either. I mean, it seems like it, but what he's talking about is not just getting the exposition, is exposition out clearly, but it's literally repiloting it.

• 2:02:40Chris Williamson?

  Can you explain that?

• 2:02:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, so, uh, uh, we're gonna go in, uh, and make this bank heist. But what's important to remember is, uh, we have to put pepper spray in the guns or, you know, if we're gonna rob the radio or whatever, airheads or something. Now that's the thing, they go in to get the pepper spray in the guns and stuff. It's like, then later on, you got the pepper spray in the gun, right? Because when we go in, we're gonna have to, and they're like, oh, we said this already, but they make, but the audience may have missed it.

• 2:03:04Chris Williamson?

  That's piloting?

• 2:03:05Speaker 01

  It's, they're not mutually exclusive, but I'm, what I'm saying is like, not pilot, like when you establish something, you've established it. You could do it with a lot of exposition or a little, but it's been established, we've decided that's now on to phase two. This is, once we're on to phase two, what if they didn't hear that? We gotta say it again. So they're like re-saying the same stuff.

• 2:03:24Chris Williamson?

  I think it's so funny. It's, it's, if you could do this, I don't know how you would look at it, written out maybe in a script or whatever. Maybe you could highlight all of the times that like, make sure that the pepper spray is in the gun. Okay, you've got the pepper spray and all of those different things is the same as removing the studio audience. So, okay, this is this absurd little thing that's happening. And if we take it out of context, isn't it silly?

• 2:03:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, it's a, I mean, I don't know. Kinda sad.

• 2:03:50Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:03:51Speaker 02

  I really think so.

• 2:03:52Speaker 01

  Because you're not making art anymore.

• 2:03:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:03:54Speaker 01

  You're, you're distracting people. You're, you're trying to gain their attention from something else as opposed to, I only want you here if you wanna be here. Like, this is like, well, look at me too. And it's, it's dark.

• 2:04:08Speaker 02

  I think they say you gotta like start with an explosion or something like it's something, something has to happen like insane the first five minutes.

• 2:04:13Chris Williamson?

  I'm pretty sure that there's a stat around the number of cuts that was in the first Fast and Furious movie. And if you just track all of the cuts across each of them, the, uh, duration of each scene on average has gotten shorter and shorter and shorter and shorter. And now to the point where it's like super Mr. Beastified.

• 2:04:30Speaker 02

  We're just wildly desensitized. I mean, if you like, look at how many people get shot in a John Wick film versus like watching like old heist films or old like spy films.

• 2:04:41Chris Williamson?

  Is that not a specific style?

• 2:04:42Speaker 02

  The level of violence.

• 2:04:43Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, John Wick's basically a superhero that is.

• 2:04:44Speaker 02

  But it's designed to be like, just moving so fast and so intense that it's like, you know, you're just, you're just absolutely flooded by it.

• 2:04:52Chris Williamson?

  Is a good.

• 2:04:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:04:53Chris Williamson?

  Barometer for what's going on with cinema.

• 2:04:56Speaker 01

  Like you start off. Cause it's lasted so long.

• 2:04:58Chris Williamson?

  Well, yeah, and they were racing and now they catapult cars into helicopters.

• 2:05:04Speaker 02

  The physics of it is now gone.

• 2:05:06Speaker 01

  That's another good example of being funny, depending on what you're looking at. As, as, as divisive as that is, I'll fucking watch that.

• 2:05:13Speaker 02

  What, Fast and Furious?

• 2:05:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh, yeah, for what is, yeah, like, when there's a new Jason Statham movie, even if, because I, I, I'm, I'm with my parents a lot. I love going to their house. We watch movies together and my dad and I are always watching something and my mom's reading her book, it doesn't want to. But if there's a new Statham movie, she doesn't even ask what it's about.

• 2:05:31Chris Williamson?

  What did you think of Beekeeper?

• 2:05:33Speaker 01

  My, my, I, I wanna call him right now and ask him the last time he's watched it. I bet you it's within the past two months.

• 2:05:38Chris Williamson?

  Beekeeper?

• 2:05:38Speaker 01

  He just keeps watching Beekeeper. I didn't love it.

• 2:05:40Chris Williamson?

  I, I struggled with Beekeeper. I'm big Statham, I'm a big Statham stan, big.

• 2:05:45Speaker 01

  Huge, that's why it's enough.

• 2:05:46Chris Williamson?

  Struggled.

• 2:05:47Speaker 02

  I like the accountant one and two, those are the last types, those movies that got me. I still turn my garage, I try to like pull in as my garage doors come in. I'm just like, I need a, I do it every time. I'm like, I'm basically the accountant.

• 2:05:58Speaker 01

  Oh, that's the Ben Affleck.

• 2:05:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:05:59Chris Williamson?

  Have you considered that may why, why the garage doors up so much?

• 2:06:03Speaker 02

  Probably, probably.

• 2:06:04Chris Williamson?

  Hit off the top of the car as you're going in.

• 2:06:06Speaker 02

  I'm just like, I did it again, I just forgot to put it back down.

• 2:06:08Speaker 01

  It's kinda like flushing, trying to time it right, uh, like so by the time it all goes down, you're done peeing.

• 2:06:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:06:17Speaker 02

  Everyone does that.

• 2:06:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do it all the time.

• 2:06:19Speaker 02

  I do that too.

• 2:06:21Chris Williamson?

  Given that we, this is a great opportunity to name something that I don't think has a name. So there's icks, right? Which is something that typically a guy does that sort of turns off a girl. She notices something that you might not typically think about noticing and then that sort of kills her attraction. I want a word for something that guys do that they think is sick that most women don't realize.

• 2:06:43Speaker 01

  Sick, bad or good?

• 2:06:44Chris Williamson?

  Awesome, like fucking cool, like you click the, you click the garage thing and you pull it and she's in the passenger seat and you're like, yeah, fucking. And she's like, what? It's an inverse ick, you know what I mean? Like there's something that should have just like panties are off. That's, you know, you just peed and you did the flush and you just threaded the fucking needle.

• 2:07:00Speaker 01

  Did anyone see that?

• 2:07:01Chris Williamson?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:01Speaker 01

  But like when anyone cares.

• 2:07:02Chris Williamson?

  So what, what like those things.

• 2:07:06Speaker 02

  I would say.

• 2:07:06Speaker 01

  Which by the way, the, the attention to detail, the timing and the, the prostate control, you know what I mean? That's a real combination.

• 2:07:13Chris Williamson?

  Well, sometimes you have to do like a sprint finish.

• 2:07:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, no, but you're like, you are, okay, I gotta, you know. But then, but then it leads you to work out, check out, am I trying to time this outright because it's fun or am I trying to win? Because there are men out there that will flush and as it's going down, instead of just peeing into the new water, they'll just cap their pee.

• 2:07:30Speaker 02

  That's crazy. I pee.

• 2:07:30Chris Williamson?

  That's crazy. Oh, that's insane.

• 2:07:32Speaker 02

  You gotta pee in the new water.

• 2:07:32Chris Williamson?

  You just need to accept loss.

• 2:07:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:34Chris Williamson?

  Right, you've just mistimed it.

• 2:07:35Speaker 01

  That's why Kobe says sports are so important.

• 2:07:36Chris Williamson?

  Fight another day.

• 2:07:38Speaker 02

  What about, what about peeing old poop off the bowl and you get it all off and you're like, dude. But if it's, if I'm in a public bathroom and it's a stranger's poop, I don't touch it.

• 2:07:45Chris Williamson?

  No, you're on the other side.

• 2:07:46Speaker 01

  That's how I feel about it, I'm picking up my dog poop and it's right next to somebody else's poop, I leave it.

• 2:07:51Speaker 02

  Really, yeah.

• 2:07:51Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, you're very territorial with the poop.

• 2:07:53Speaker 01

  I don't wanna, when I'm touching my dog's poop, it's like, it's like I'm using the same straw as my lover.

• 2:07:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:59Speaker 01

  But if I'm picking up another dog shit, I feel like I'm dipping my straw into dog shit.

• 2:08:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'll pick it, I've, I've recently turned a corner, I'll pick it up.

• 2:08:07Speaker 01

  I thought about it.

• 2:08:08Speaker 02

  Like my kids play, my kids play there and I'm like, well, I'm gonna pick it up. I'm not gonna, I don't wanna just leave there.

• 2:08:12Speaker 01

  It feels different.

• 2:08:13Speaker 02

  It feels different. It feels like, it feels like, ugh.

• 2:08:16Chris Williamson?

  What are some of the other things?

• 2:08:17Speaker 01

  I'll put money in a meter if somebody is, if I see a meter's empty though.

• 2:08:20Speaker 02

  That's nice.

• 2:08:21Chris Williamson?

  That's charitable, yeah.

• 2:08:22Speaker 01

  I wait for them to get there and in case they're, they're like, they're like, look what I did.

• 2:08:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, in Philadelphia, we had the coin operated meters for a while, so we used to be able to stick tinfoil in them and it would just say out of order and you could just park there. Usually leave your car there, maybe the meter was broken, it didn't work.

• 2:08:38Chris Williamson?

  But how would you verify that? Couldn't parking operators just come along and go, no, it wasn't?

• 2:08:42Speaker 01

  No, it says, it says.

• 2:08:43Speaker 02

  It would blame the out of order.

• 2:08:44Speaker 01

  You could take a, like if I, if you're ever at a meter and it's out of order, park there, baby, take a picture and spend the fucking night.

• 2:08:49Chris Williamson?

  I don't know.

• 2:08:50Speaker 02

  It wasn't the phones yet, they, the phones were just coming, it was like the coin parking.

• 2:08:53Chris Williamson?

  That's what I mean, but my point is you can't verify.

• 2:08:55Speaker 01

  It says out of order.

• 2:08:56Speaker 02

  Oh, it says on there, yeah.

• 2:08:58Speaker 01

  So when the parking person. Walks up and sees out of order, they won't give you a ticket.

• 2:09:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:09:04Speaker 01

  It's like, they go like this, ah, technicality.

• 2:09:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz it would say like, it would say how much time you had.

• 2:09:09Speaker 03

  Like a little, you scam.

• 2:09:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:09:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:09:10Speaker 02

  Well, the.

• 2:09:11Speaker 03

  You rascals.

• 2:09:11Speaker 02

  Me and my.

• 2:09:12Speaker 03

  I oughta.

• 2:09:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. Me and my brother had a lunch truck, so we would, I would hit the meter out of order and we parked there all day cuz you were supposed to feed the meter and the lady would come back, come by every day and be like, it's out of order again. I'm like, man, these things, you gotta fix these things. Just gaslighting instead of just.

• 2:09:26Chris Williamson?

  Sounds a bit foil on her.

• 2:09:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, just rip, put foil around a penny and just it gets stuck in there and it says out of order.

• 2:09:31Speaker 01

  Has anyone ever told, do that again? Yeah, has anyone told you, you kind of, to camera, look like Rosie the Riveter?

• 2:09:36Speaker 03

  Wow, no, no, but I'll.

• 2:09:38Speaker 01

  Like you punt, you hold a fist kinda like her.

• 2:09:40Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 2:09:40Speaker 02

  Who's Rosie the Riveter?

• 2:09:42Speaker 01

  Buddy.

• 2:09:42Speaker 02

  Oh, the propaganda lady?

• 2:09:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:09:44Speaker 01

  Propaganda lady?

• 2:09:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:09:47Speaker 03

  What do we?

• 2:09:48Speaker 01

  Rosie the Riveter, I, I've been talking about for, for a while now. I think there should be a Rosie the Riveter.

• 2:09:52Speaker 02

  That's such an insult. You make a fist, you look like a girl.

• 2:09:55Speaker 01

  Have you ever been called that before?

• 2:09:56Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:09:57Speaker 01

  I was just trying to give you a novel insult.

• 2:09:58Speaker 03

  I'll take it.

• 2:09:59Speaker 02

  That is.

• 2:09:59Chris Williamson?

  That is a novel insult. Very good.

• 2:10:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:10:01Chris Williamson?

  Great call. But what are some other inverse x? Cuz I like.

• 2:10:04Speaker 01

  Hmm, I got one. Uh, when I'm doing anything and music is playing, and I do mean eh, ni, thing, I will dance to it, not just with the rhythm of my body. Example, I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm ready to go, but you know, the chorus is about to kick in. I'll, on the chorus. I feel like with farting, I don't feel like I have to fart. I feel like I get to fart. I will like, do things musically. So like when there's music going, I'll dance and like, you don't even know I'm dancing.

• 2:10:33Speaker 01

  Fucking, it's fucking sick.

• 2:10:37Speaker 01

  It's fucking sick.

• 2:10:38Speaker 03

  I, I don't understand. List in my head is all things that would actually, I think we should get credit for it, but it would actually just be an ick. Like, I think like knowing all of the lines of a movie is fucking awesome. Like the fact that I like know all the lines or that like, I've watched it so many times that I know exactly like, I think, and like my guy friends, like when we know the lines and we can do the lines of a movie like perfectly or some piece of a stand-up routine that was so good that we both can just do it.

• 2:11:07Speaker 01

  We all sing together.

• 2:11:08Speaker 03

  Bonding moment. It feels so good. Like, oh, I used to, growing up, like Monty Python, like every fucking Monty Python, I could do the whole Life of Brian, I could do the whole Holy Grail, like I can, you know, like I've, there's some things I've seen so many times that I feel like I could just do it from memory. There's like bits from Shane from, uh, uh, Beautiful Dogs that like I could probably do from memory cuz I've watched it so many times. I self-soothe with it. Like it's just something to have on that makes me happy.

• 2:11:32Speaker 01

  I farted every punchline.

• 2:11:34Speaker 03

  Woman I know, like when you, like they're not impressed by the fact that you know.

• 2:11:38Speaker 02

  That you know, they hate when you, yeah, I can see that cuz a lot of times.

• 2:11:40Speaker 01

  Knowing it is different than saying it.

• 2:11:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I feel like a lot of times after shows, girls will put down their guy and be like, he's like obsessed with you. And it's like, all right, lady, you like something, don't fucking do it.

• 2:11:51Speaker 03

  Like, can he just be excited? Like, let him be excited.

• 2:11:53Speaker 02

  Like, can he like a thing? Why do you have to?

• 2:11:55Chris Williamson?

  He doesn't have passion in other areas.

• 2:11:56Speaker 01

  That's so specific, dude. That's so funny.

• 2:11:58Speaker 02

  It happens, dude. It's like, kinda like, he's like obsessed with it. It's like.

• 2:12:00Speaker 01

  What if you'll say, I don't know who you are, you never knew who you were, but like this person, like they wanna, they wanna remove themselves from that.

• 2:12:05Chris Williamson?

  That happened at dinner. We went to dinner and the dude came over and I was like, that is the most fucking bad, he came over and asked for a, a photo or something like that. It was just us two, Friday night, be, like fucking, we ate a lot of food. It was really nice. And this guy came over and was like, hey, just wanted to say, massive fan of the show. I don't know what you do. Uh, so, and I was like.

• 2:12:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:12:25Chris Williamson?

  If I'm like, I, the fact that I.

• 2:12:27Speaker 02

  So rude. It's so rude to do that.

• 2:12:30Speaker 03

  I see why they're, but I see why they're, I, I think so too in a vacuum, but I see why they're doing that. They're doing that because there's a vulnerability in, in giving somebody a compliment and it's easier to be vulnerable if you open yourself to saying, I'm not hiding anything. I think it's manipulative, but I think when people say, I don't know, I, I don't even like cupcakes. This is one of the greatest cupcakes I've ever had. It puts value into the thing that brought me there.

• 2:12:52Speaker 02

  That's so different, yeah.

• 2:12:53Speaker 03

  Coming over to say, I, I think you're so funny, and then to go like, oh, you're really great too, is now taking away from the intention. I think that's the psychology.

• 2:13:04Speaker 02

  You can just say like, hey, man.

• 2:13:05Speaker 03

  I agree that you can. I think it's an insecurity.

• 2:13:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I agree.

• 2:13:09Speaker 03

  I think it's an insecurity, but that insecurity is coming from that place of like, I want you to believe this thing. So maybe, I don't know who you are, it could be making a joke, or I'm sorry, I don't know who you are, but I think you're fantastic. I think they're saying that because they think they, subconsciously, they think they need to say that to you, so they could say it to you. We're all insecure, man. I'm not.

• 2:13:26Speaker 02

  People's brains glitch with celebrity. Like I represent a lot of celebrities and, and I have to tell you, like, I think people don't quite know how to.

• 2:13:33Chris Williamson?

  There is a reality distortion field around.

• 2:13:35Speaker 03

  There's just like a feeling of like, like I, I'm the lowest level of, of like recognizable celebrity now, but when I walk, no, I don't.

• 2:13:43Speaker 01

  I don't, believe me, I could, the fucking praise of strangers doesn't mean a whole lot to me.

• 2:13:46Speaker 03

  But I, I find people.

• 2:13:49Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 2:13:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, sorry.

• 2:13:51Chris Williamson?

  Literally his currency. That's his social currency.

• 2:13:54Speaker 03

  No, but just it confused me because you were saying, I think it's important to give people compliments.

• 2:13:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I mean, I, listen, I'm not, I'm saying for me, that's not my thing. Like, I'm not, I don't need that. Yeah.

• 2:14:04Chris Williamson?

  I have a thing, I have another thing. I have another thing.

• 2:14:06Speaker 01

  Let him finish. Sorry about that.

• 2:14:08Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, no, no. I, I just.

• 2:14:10Chris Williamson?

  Mine's exciting.

• 2:14:11Speaker 03

  I think that, I think that celebrity, like people just glitch, cuz I will tell you, one of the weird things for me now that people recognize me is they'll, they'll just go like, uh, you know, and you can, you go like this and then it's just like this weird energy exchange.

• 2:14:24Chris Williamson?

  There's like a turbo.

• 2:14:25Speaker 03

  Or they freak out, like they're, oh my God, I like, I love your stuff, like, and it's such a, like.

• 2:14:30Chris Williamson?

  Granola, yeah?

• 2:14:31Speaker 03

  Right, but exactly right. Like people will say stuff like that or they'll just yell something of my, and I, I mean, for me, it's like incredible because I'm, I'm, they're complimenting me, like they're, like if someone, like I represent celebrities and like, I'll, I'll, they'll sit across from me and I'll have seen this person in like a dozen movies and I'll realize like, oh, I don't fucking know you at all. Like I, you read lines somebody wrote and you did it really good, but like I don't know you. Like I'm about to get to know you. I'm about to like look at your bank accounts and like know what happened in your marriage. Like, and it's surreal because it's like a person I know, like I've seen you, but I, I don't know you at all.

• 2:15:07Chris Williamson?

  I'm gonna explode if I don't get to do my thing. So.

• 2:15:09Speaker 01

  I was really quick, I was just thinking about what you said, looking at the numbers, looking at people, like I'm gonna get to know you. I look at your bank savings and stuff. It's like the accountant, accountant.

• 2:15:16Speaker 02

  True.

• 2:15:17Speaker 01

  So I just wanted to kinda.

• 2:15:18Chris Williamson?

  Thanks. Okay, can I read, this is really good. I think everyone's experienced this. Somewhere in your house, there is a door that closes without much friction.

• 2:15:26Speaker 01

  I know, I already know what you're saying.

• 2:15:27Chris Williamson?

  And you managed to get it to close, just you touch it, you walk, and then you get to touch and walk, and then you're away, and you're like, sitting down, and then you hear,

• 2:15:37Chris Williamson?

  like just, it's, the latch is just about go, the door hasn't even hit the frame. Man, that is fucking.

• 2:15:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:15:44Chris Williamson?

  The sickest thing.

• 2:15:45Speaker 02

  That's awesome. Or when you pull up and the song ends as soon as you stop, that's where I'm like.

• 2:15:50Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, you press the button, the car turns off, you're like.

• 2:15:53Speaker 01

  What about when you sing a song and then you play the song and you were already in that song's key?

• 2:16:02Speaker 02

  What do you mean you're, oh, you're, wait, you were, you're singing.

• 2:16:06Speaker 01

  Love. And then if you put that over that, was I in the right key? You're like, guys, come on.

• 2:16:11Speaker 02

  I've, I've never sang, I usually the song's on and I sing to the song. I never sang first or then hit the song on.

• 2:16:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, when you, I think it's more a post thing.

• 2:16:20Speaker 02

  Oh, you wanna post edit?

• 2:16:21Speaker 01

  But like when you sing something and then you're already in the key, like we could just use that song.

• 2:16:24Chris Williamson?

  What about if you harmonize? What if you found out that you just decided to go one octave up and then it comes in and you're like, oh, man, N key, but one above, I'm, I've crushed it.

• 2:16:32Speaker 02

  I'll also not like songs if I can't sing them. If I try to sing a song while it's on, I'll be like, fuck that. If I can't do it right, I'm like, this song sucks and I just turn it off.

• 2:16:40Speaker 01

  Oh, that's like thinking somebody sucks cuz they don't like you.

• 2:16:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:16:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I get that psychology.

• 2:16:44Chris Williamson?

  It's a little bit like thinking that a sport sucks because you can't play it.

• 2:16:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:16:48Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, that makes sense.

• 2:16:50Chris Williamson?

  Why are you so good at basketball?

• 2:16:52Speaker 01

  Buddy, I'm, I appreciate that, but the truth is, we're all good at something. I just found something that I was good at that fit my body and my energy.

• 2:16:59Chris Williamson?

  Right, but it's like, it's kinda, it's quite hard. So like, it's quite a technically difficult sport and it seems like the sort of thing that would take a lot, like why.

• 2:17:06Speaker 01

  You know, I have an amazing dog and the dog is so well behaved.

• 2:17:09Chris Williamson?

  The dog is this big, it can't play basketball.

• 2:17:11Speaker 01

  No, no, what I'm saying is I think I have some part of why it travels so well and he's so kind and he's like a perfect dog. But the truth is, I got lucky and then it took on some of my character traits. I think when people are good at stuff, it's not as difficult for them because they're, I'm not saying, I'm not taking this, not like I'm this incredible basket, I'm just saying that as far as like, skills are concerned, like some things fit people. Uh, I play the piano. I, I don't know how. Like I, I've learned how to play the piano without lessons. A lot of people do. I'm not special to this. But I'm saying there's something about it where I, and I'm a good piano player. I've tried and I put a lot of effort into guitar

• 2:17:50Speaker 01

  and like I know how to do it, uh, and that's to prac, like have somebody teach me or look like, I can't, it doesn't feel the same. This does, you know, are there things that you do when you're like, ooh, I'm in a pocket and things like, ah.

• 2:18:04Chris Williamson?

  So like keyboard, basketball, hooray, but like guitar, baseball, maybe not so much.

• 2:18:09Speaker 01

  I don't know, I'd probably be great at baseball.

• 2:18:11Chris Williamson?

  What won't you be great at? What do you say?

• 2:18:12Speaker 01

  You know, I was asking myself this the other day. Um,

• 2:18:18Speaker 01

  I think I'd be a great football player. I know I'd be a great wrestler. I know I'd be a great father.

• 2:18:26Speaker 01

  I don't know. I'm not good at language, learning other people's languages, other peoples, like they belong to them. That's how far away it is that it's possible for me. Making love.

• 2:18:39Speaker 03

  You're not good at that?

• 2:18:40Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:18:40Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 2:18:41Speaker 01

  No, because I'm only able to do it to people that I'm actually in love with. Does that make me a bad guy?

• 2:18:49Speaker 01

  Some people can make love to anybody, just because.

• 2:18:53Chris Williamson?

  Is that more skillful or less skillful?

• 2:18:55Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't know if you want to keep anything I've said in on this podcast. I just like basketball. I just like basketball, man. Just cut that all out.

• 2:19:05Chris Williamson?

  Hang on, you do basketball. Have you guys ever played?

• 2:19:07Speaker 01

  We were talking about, we want to play together, we want to get stoned together?

• 2:19:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's inspired me to use my left, so I would always use my right, because like you, you kind of pick one hand usually and you kind of go with it.

• 2:19:16Chris Williamson?

  Uh huh.

• 2:19:16Speaker 02

  Be able to like shoot, or really just do layups with your left. It's opened up a whole new.

• 2:19:20Speaker 01

  I'd rather you miss more layups for a year and then be able to go both ways than to never have loved at all.

• 2:19:26Speaker 03

  He's training, training the weakness.

• 2:19:28Speaker 02

  Training the weakness at forty, yeah.

• 2:19:30Speaker 01

  What information? You know this. What valuable information it is to discover a weakness, to either accept it or try to do something different.

• 2:19:36Speaker 03

  That in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, because you get really, by the time you're a blue belt, you have like a couple of techniques you're a black belt at. And then you just do those all the time, because that's how you submit guys.

• 2:19:46Chris Williamson?

  It's like having three dance moves and just going back to the same dance.

• 2:19:49Speaker 03

  And you have to like go, okay, I gotta start to suck again. Like I gotta play open guard because I'm bad at open guard and I'm never gonna get good at open guard.

• 2:19:56Chris Williamson?

  Who do you think's gonna win out of Mikey and Nicky Rod today, those two fights?

• 2:20:01Speaker 03

  I think Mikey's very technical.

• 2:20:03Chris Williamson?

  And Nicky?

• 2:20:04Speaker 03

  I think Nicky's great too. I mean.

• 2:20:06Chris Williamson?

  Fair enough. Well, that was easy.

• 2:20:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just, I think those are the two, I think those are two of the best that, that are out there. I think Nicky is also very physically gifted. I mean, he's just imposing, you know? But he, and he knows how to like use his weight in like real ways, but, but I think Mikey's just so skilled.

• 2:20:22Chris Williamson?

  So this is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, UFC, BJJ.

• 2:20:26Speaker 03

  UFC, BJJ. They're trying to make it happen.

• 2:20:28Chris Williamson?

  Lots of big characters that are in there. So BJJ being, I don't do it, I'm just interested in some of the drama that goes on. They're like, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is gay, or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is for divorced dads. It's kind of a meme that was like below the, below the surface for a long time. This entire press conference, including the UFC BJJ Instagram, was tweeting, like, I was posting stuff saying, um, like, Mikey Musumechi will not do gay stuff tonight on the mat. Like, that was in the caption. I was like, oh, this has really broken the fucking containment zone of being an in-joke to now being like the branding of an entire fucking.

• 2:21:07Speaker 01

  Are they doing it as a joke or are they really think that, that people won't tune in if somebody's gay?

• 2:21:12Chris Williamson?

  It's, the joke is, because you're guys rolling on top of other guys inherently.

• 2:21:16Speaker 03

  It's the gayest looking.

• 2:21:18Speaker 01

  No, but I'm saying, are they saying it as a joke or are they saying it as a warning?

• 2:21:22Chris Williamson?

  It's supposed to be like a meta joke around the fact that this is what guys do, they're rolling on top of each other. But like to take it and to use that joke, right, which only six years ago would have been completely fucking unforgivable.

• 2:21:33Speaker 01

  He made that joke to me at the beginning of the podcast.

• 2:21:36Speaker 03

  What did I say? What did I say?

• 2:21:37Speaker 01

  Swipe to it.

• 2:21:39Speaker 01

  I'll show you guys. I'll remind you later.

• 2:21:41Speaker 03

  I don't remember.

• 2:21:43Chris Williamson?

  Uh, just, it's, the fact that that's broken through.

• 2:21:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at its core was always like, there was humor, I've been doing it for 20 years and there was always jokes within it of like, yeah, you just have like a dude's balls in your face and like it's, but it, but it also is like, it's, you know, struggle cuddles. I mean, that's what it is. Like it's physical intimacy between two men and a tremendous amount of trust in each other physically. Like, because basically like, I trust that when I tap, you're gonna stop and not break my arm. I trust that when I tap, you're gonna stop and not like choke me into unconsciousness and kill me. Like, because basically when a person taps, what you're saying is like, yeah, you won, like you just dominated me physically. Yeah, I'd be dead or I'd have a broken limb. Like, that's, that's how it works.

• 2:22:22Speaker 02

  I feel like you could have actually lived with a man instead of having sex, you could just wrestle every night, get tired, go to bed together.

• 2:22:28Speaker 03

  I mean, listen, what I will tell you.

• 2:22:29Chris Williamson?

  The sex drive. It's not the same.

• 2:22:31Speaker 03

  What I used to say, I used to say that when a, when a girl has daddy issues, you end up with a stripper and when a guy has daddy issues, you end up with a guy who does BJJ. Because there, it is really like an opportunity for men to like be together, have physical contact with each other. And then once you've rolled with someone, like you have these six minute rounds, once you roll with somebody, like you're like buddies, like you're just, you're, you're physically like right there. Like you're just next to each other. You're like comfortable touching each other because you've just been.

• 2:23:00Chris Williamson?

  I noticed there was less physical contact coming back that way. Is there a reason for that?

• 2:23:03Speaker 01

  Yes, just, I wanted, I didn't want to be mean, but I noticed that you had something right there.

• 2:23:12Speaker 01

  But listen, they say that women are, or become strippers if they have daddy issues. I say, hey, man, none of my business. As long, let me just raise a son that, that doesn't go out for milk.

• 2:23:22Speaker 01

  Who's lactose intolerant.

• 2:23:25Speaker 01

  You notice it, that the, the amount of like, like, a lot of the Chinese, can I say this? They're lactose intolerant?

• 2:23:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's true. I mean, if it's true, yeah.

• 2:23:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:23:35Speaker 02

  Even if you.

• 2:23:35Chris Williamson?

  They struggle to, they struggle to, uh, um, get away with beer as well. I think nursing an enzyme, which means it's called Asian flush.

• 2:23:42Speaker 02

  I think, I think black people are also.

• 2:23:45Speaker 01

  Yes, and a lot of the Jews. The Chinese, the blacks and the Jews, clip it.

• 2:23:49Chris Williamson?

  Who does like milk?

• 2:23:50Speaker 01

  The reason why I bring this up is because.

• 2:23:52Speaker 02

  We followed, apparently we followed the cows. We were like.

• 2:23:55Chris Williamson?

  You know that that's what the French people say about English people, that we smell of milk? Like that we say frogs, we call the French frogs. And it is kind of interesting to think about, okay, what are the in-jokes that other countries have about your country? And apparently the French say that the English smell like milk.

• 2:24:12Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 2:24:12Speaker 01

  The French have some cool, like aphorisms, like, like marriage turns a lover into a relative. Like, that's fucking gold.

• 2:24:22Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, but in French presumably.

• 2:24:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:24:25Chris Williamson?

  Because they wouldn't say it like that.

• 2:24:26Speaker 01

  They wouldn't say it like that, yeah.

• 2:24:27Speaker 03

  Well, they might, because most of them speak English.

• 2:24:32Chris Williamson?

  If you just fucking said that in French, I'm gonna be blown away. You do have secret skills.

• 2:24:36Speaker 01

  Put that in back in reverse. I'm being serious. Watch this.

• 2:24:39Chris Williamson?

  You said it in reverse.

• 2:24:40Speaker 01

  Wait, wait, hold on a second. And then cut to this. Well, what was, say the thing again? Please do this. Play in reverse and play this.

• 2:24:45Speaker 03

  Marriage turns a lover into a relative.

• 2:24:47Speaker 01

  Okay. Marriage turns a lover into a relative. And now, this is gonna sound like that's what my French thing send was backwards. Can we do that? No? That was just a little like.

• 2:24:57Chris Williamson?

  Yeah.

• 2:24:58Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 2:25:00Speaker 02

  Now they're seeing how the magic is made.

• 2:25:03Chris Williamson?

  The sausage gets made like that. Uh, yeah, I, I, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gay joke coming through. It's just like, that's a, that's a litmus test. That's sort of where we're at, you know?

• 2:25:12Speaker 03

  I think there's a thing happening right now. R-word's coming back. You can call something gay. I think, I think it just, we always in this culture treat dandruff with decapitation. And then we go back in the other direction again. The pendulum's swinging back in the other direction again.

• 2:25:26Speaker 01

  Is that French?

• 2:25:27Chris Williamson?

  Yeah.

• 2:25:27Speaker 01

  And notice he still called it the R-word, and I'm proud. What I want to say is, the Chinese don't go out for milk. Does that affect the divorce rates?

• 2:25:36Chris Williamson?

  Uh, they don't have the excuse. Why did he go? He went out for milk? No, he didn't.

• 2:25:39Speaker 02

  Cigarettes, for sure. Yeah, I went out for cigarettes.

• 2:25:42Speaker 01

  I wonder if, interesting, yeah.

• 2:25:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. You see him, yeah.

• 2:25:48Speaker 03

  See your father squatting and smoking one last time.

• 2:25:50Speaker 01

  Are you saying squat because of the toilets?

• 2:25:52Speaker 03

  Squats 200 yards away. No, they squat and smoke a lot of the time.

• 2:25:54Speaker 01

  Oh, they squat, I mean, it's, it's the way humans are supposed to stand.

• 2:25:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. They do, they, they sell, they sell pants. I ordered them off Amazon.

• 2:26:01Speaker 03

  I just learned so much right now. I just really want you to know.

• 2:26:03Speaker 01

  Really, look at, look at the way the GI tract sits while you're in a squat position. And it evens out. And that's true because it also strengthens your hip flexors, your quads. It's your alignment for your spine. Instead of chairs, we're supposed to be like this.

• 2:26:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:26:16Speaker 03

  Like a real thing.

• 2:26:17Chris Williamson?

  You could do the rest of the pod like that.

• 2:26:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, me too. It feels a little strange, but.

• 2:26:21Chris Williamson?

  It unkinks the rec, yeah, uh, uh, un, moves the rectal kink.

• 2:26:26Speaker 01

  That's what I meant.

• 2:26:27Chris Williamson?

  Yeah. You ever had a squatty potty?

• 2:26:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have. I, I.

• 2:26:30Speaker 03

  I've just never heard the word rectal kink before. It sounds like a porn genre.

• 2:26:34Speaker 01

  A divorce attorney has never heard of rectal kink?

• 2:26:36Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 2:26:37Chris Williamson?

  Squatty potty side of the table?

• 2:26:38Speaker 03

  I know squatty potty.

• 2:26:39Chris Williamson?

  Have you got one?

• 2:26:40Speaker 03

  Where, I do not.

• 2:26:41Chris Williamson?

  Have you got one?

• 2:26:41Speaker 03

  I have a Japanese toilet, though.

• 2:26:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:26:43Speaker 01

  Is that low to the ground?

• 2:26:44Speaker 03

  Change your life.

• 2:26:45Speaker 02

  What's Japanese toilet low?

• 2:26:46Speaker 03

  The ones that have the, the buttons and it does the water.

• 2:26:49Speaker 01

  It's like, it's a Cadillac bidet.

• 2:26:52Chris Williamson?

  With a hairdryer in it.

• 2:26:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, like warm water.

• 2:26:56Speaker 02

  Warm bidet water's too, it's almost too much for me.

• 2:26:59Speaker 03

  Well, this is, this is like.

• 2:27:00Speaker 02

  It's just, it feels too good.

• 2:27:02Speaker 03

  The seat is warm?

• 2:27:03Speaker 02

  Warm bidet water, you're kind of like, god damn.

• 2:27:05Speaker 03

  Is warmed?

• 2:27:06Chris Williamson?

  Is this a sex toilet or a fucking toilet?

• 2:27:08Speaker 03

  It's always warm.

• 2:27:09Speaker 02

  Just any bidet, any warm water bidet hits you and you're like.

• 2:27:12Speaker 03

  Once you have it though, you're just wrecked.

• 2:27:14Chris Williamson?

  You're like, you're sitting on a regular toilet, you're like.

• 2:27:16Speaker 02

  I'm like, yeah.

• 2:27:17Speaker 01

  Cold water.

• 2:27:18Chris Williamson?

  Damn near killed him.

• 2:27:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. That's why, like, it's like flying first class. Like, you know, once you do it, you're like, but why did I do this to myself?

• 2:27:24Speaker 02

  If you add a squatty potty to that Japanese toilet, oh, that'd be crazy.

• 2:27:27Speaker 03

  Game changer.

• 2:27:28Chris Williamson?

  Think about the rectal kink.

• 2:27:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, that'd be a real rectal kink. I'd have a real rectal kink when that's on.

• 2:27:33Speaker 01

  You know, I use my bidet to clean up my asshole, but I don't run away from the feeling of pleasure and think, like, I, I'll fill up my ass.

• 2:27:47Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 2:27:48Speaker 01

  Um, I'll, I'll fill up my ass with so much water that I don't know, is that water coming out or is that water pulling more shit out? And it doesn't matter.

• 2:27:58Chris Williamson?

  Hang on, you fill it up?

• 2:27:59Speaker 01

  Buddy, I, I could, here's a cool one of those things that we're talking about, what you could do, closing the door at the right length.

• 2:28:04Chris Williamson?

  Yep.

• 2:28:05Speaker 01

  Like that ski ball game that you play at bars on sand with a little puck. I'll be able to, on my toilet, go like this, know exactly how to go. So not only am I getting it right up my ass, I'm nothing but net. And I shoot it up there to the point where it's gotta go somewhere, way to beat, it all comes out after you like come inside of a wall.

• 2:28:24Speaker 03

  Self-administered enema.

• 2:28:26Chris Williamson?

  How open is your asshole?

• 2:28:28Speaker 01

  Dude, everyone's asshole is the most open when they're relaxed. Can we at least concede this point?

• 2:28:35Chris Williamson?

  That's a starting point.

• 2:28:35Speaker 01

  Okay. Relax. Sit on the.

• 2:28:39Speaker 03

  Not much.

• 2:28:39Speaker 01

  Hear me out. I don't think I've ever been that relaxed. Because.

• 2:28:42Speaker 03

  Ever.

• 2:28:43Speaker 01

  Because when I, because I really, I could go like, I could go from this.

• 2:28:48Speaker 01

  To this. Because your butt cheeks are pulled apart, you're bending over. I'm basically just, I used to, when I was a kid and I had to get throat cultures, which I had to do quite a bit because my throat hurt all the time, I would have panic attacks. Knowing that sticks going down there would freak me the fuck out. Like, I, I couldn't, I can't, I can't, I can't. Like, I was so terrified. And then I learned to sit on my hands and I was terrified, but I was able to do it, right? I'm getting a throat culture, I don't know, let's say I'm 17 years old or something, and the doctor says-

• 2:29:19Speaker 02

  It's such a crazy switch.

• 2:29:20Speaker 01

  The doctor says, the doctor says, alright, we're gonna do it. I'm still scared, but I'm just, I, I'm, I could, I, I, I hate it, but I'm fine. I've shot so much water up my ass, nothing but net, that I trust myself that this is good for me. This is good, why am I so, oh no, water's gonna go up my ass. Oh yes, water's gonna go up my ass. And clean, people are wiping. Imagine if you had shit on your hands and then you just took some paper and went like this and threw it away. You're fucking disgusting. Put some water on your shitty fucking hands. You fucking coward.

• 2:29:57Chris Williamson?

  I can't get over how open your asshole is.

• 2:29:59Speaker 01

  Dude, all of our assholes are open more than that when we poop. Alright, so get off your high horse.

• 2:30:03Chris Williamson?

  For the duration that the poop's coming out.

• 2:30:04Speaker 01

  I'm not holding it open like I'm, like I'm doing wall squats. I'm just saying, like, you know, you blink. I'll blink and the blink would be the ass goes like this, the water takes it, the rest, and now I'm fine, it's cleaning up.

• 2:30:15Speaker 02

  But in order for the water to collect, you have to be tightening it back up to pull-

• 2:30:18Speaker 01

  No, no, no, you can only shoot so much water up your ass before water comes down. Believe me, Eleanor Roosevelt.

• 2:30:25Chris Williamson?

  So, are you pulsing, like sphinctal tension?

• 2:30:28Speaker 01

  I'm not there, I'm not there for, for a full chorus. I go, water shoots up my ass, I'm like, okay, I think I'm done now, I turn the water off, and then some stuff comes out. It's like washing your hands. It's, I'm literally-

• 2:30:43Speaker 02

  I've never got the cascading effect, it's always just kind of like-

• 2:30:44Speaker 01

  Because you're not putting enough water up there, friend.

• 2:30:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 2:30:47Speaker 01

  Have you ever made love to a woman and you ejaculated inside of her and then-

• 2:30:51Speaker 03

  We've had two kids, so yeah.

• 2:30:52Speaker 01

  No, but there's-

• 2:30:53Speaker 03

  Bring one another on the way.

• 2:30:55Speaker 01

  But it doesn't mean that-

• 2:30:56Speaker 03

  At least three times.

• 2:30:57Speaker 01

  But it doesn't mean that a lot of his semen was pouring out of her.

• 2:31:01Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 2:31:02Chris Williamson?

  You gotta keep them on the back.

• 2:31:02Speaker 01

  Let me finish my sentence.

• 2:31:03Chris Williamson?

  You gotta keep them on the back.

• 2:31:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:31:05Chris Williamson?

  Stay on the back.

• 2:31:07Speaker 01

  I let them be wherever they want to be. I don't keep a woman anywhere after I come inside of her, just so you know.

• 2:31:11Chris Williamson?

  It depends how functional you want it, you know?

• 2:31:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, true. If you're trying to have a kid, it is, you lay there.

• 2:31:16Speaker 01

  Even if you don't have an emotional connection with a woman, you shouldn't tell her what she should be doing with her bodies. Well, a lot of you think so.

• 2:31:22Speaker 03

  Unless she wants you to.

• 2:31:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. That, that, that's not really telling her what to do, that's making her feel that she is submissive. There's a big difference.

• 2:31:30Speaker 01

  That's why you have safe words. I'm only doing this because, you're only going on this roller coaster, going down so much because you trust you're harnessed in. You wouldn't do it without that harness. And how do you know how well somebody could harness you until you get to know them?

• 2:31:41Chris Williamson?

  Are you thinking about the come run? So, you've done the ejaculation and then there is a window of time before it started to come back out, that they need to get to the bathroom.

• 2:31:51Speaker 01

  I always say, if you come on a, if I come on you, I'll go to the bathroom first. If I come into, in you, please, you go first.

• 2:31:58Chris Williamson?

  What do you always say?

• 2:31:59Speaker 01

  I say it all the time.

• 2:32:01Speaker 02

  That's like rules, that's kind of like the rules.

• 2:32:02Speaker 01

  It's certain rules. If, if, if I come on, on you, if I come, you know, just come on your belly and your boobs and, you know, whatever it is that-

• 2:32:08Speaker 03

  Sure. Whatever other weird section.

• 2:32:10Speaker 02

  Open butthole?

• 2:32:11Speaker 01

  Whatever it is that you want, whatever it is, it's easiest.

• 2:32:13Chris Williamson?

  Relax a little more, it'll be fine.

• 2:32:14Speaker 01

  Wherever you've agreed to, you go to the bathroom and you get a wet and a dry towel. It could be two towels.

• 2:32:20Speaker 03

  Warm towel.

• 2:32:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I often will ask, I will ask, I'll say, hey, it takes a while for it to get to warm, would you like me to bring you cool and dry? Because I don't want to go in there and wait, like, wait for the warm water, then she doesn't realize like what I'm doing in there. So like-

• 2:32:34Chris Williamson?

  She thinks you're looking after yourself.

• 2:32:36Speaker 01

  Which is fine if that's what I want to be doing and I communicate that, but that's not what I want to be doing. I want to clean you up.

• 2:32:41Chris Williamson?

  I gotta be honest, the post-coital service from you sounds really nice.

• 2:32:46Speaker 01

  And I get, it, it's, it's a-

• 2:32:47Speaker 03

  You're invited back usually, is it? You know what I mean?

• 2:32:49Speaker 01

  I get that, that's where they get the saying, you're invited to the cookout, that's what that means. Now, I also get something out of this because I'm embarrassed of my flat ass, but I'm very proud of my huge fat cock. So when I'm walking to the bathroom, I-

• 2:33:01Chris Williamson?

  You don't reverse out, you don't reverse out.

• 2:33:03Speaker 01

  That's, so, yeah, after sex, I'll, do you want me to get you a warm towel? You know, boom, boom, boom, but I don't want to see my little ass. I just came on top of you. I want you to think well of me.

• 2:33:13Speaker 02

  Why don't you go-

• 2:33:14Speaker 01

  From hindsight.

• 2:33:16Speaker 02

  Why don't you go sideways so that then the small ass makes your giant dick even bigger?

• 2:33:21Speaker 03

  I just never, I just never, I never thought about it.

• 2:33:24Speaker 01

  It'll just look like my quad.

• 2:33:27Speaker 03

  That's-

• 2:33:28Speaker 01

  Say it again.

• 2:33:28Speaker 03

  So you're like, self-conscious about having a small ass? Like, you want to have like a donk-a-donk?

• 2:33:33Speaker 01

  I'm not ashamed of it, but yes, I, by definition, I am self-conscious of it. I've accepted this is what it is. But like, there are parts like, when, when, right after having sex with somebody, where like, I'll give you another example, but Jesus Christ.

• 2:33:46Speaker 03

  Something like, if you're tall and have a big dick, like, you could-

• 2:33:48Speaker 01

  Hey, get in line.

• 2:33:49Speaker 03

  Who the fuck care? Like, whatever your ass looks like.

• 2:33:52Speaker 01

  I don't think she's gonna vomit. I don't think she's gonna see my butt and be like, what did I do? You know? I'm just like, I do feel like if I show my butt, I'll probably go like this around my crack and I go, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed.

• 2:34:05Speaker 03

  You gotta do what I do, which is just get like a huge back piece of tattoo.

• 2:34:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll get a big back tattoo because I got a little ass. Is that the psychology? The only reason you have a back tattoo?

• 2:34:13Speaker 03

  It's the only reason I got it, yeah, yeah.

• 2:34:15Speaker 01

  So you get it?

• 2:34:16Speaker 03

  It's why I have the abdomen tattoo, as it draws the eye, you know?

• 2:34:20Speaker 02

  You know, her seeing that water trap, she's like, damn, he put a bunch of water in that little fucking asshole.

• 2:34:26Speaker 02

  Little water bottle.

• 2:34:27Speaker 03

  Little wet butthole.

• 2:34:27Speaker 01

  I had, I had to show my butt on a show recently, and when, when the showrunner messaged me, he goes, hey, you feel comfortable doing this? We can get you a butt double. And I felt a butt double, I don't like because I'm lying. So it has to be so different than mine, that that's not the tone of the show. So, but I, I honestly said-

• 2:34:44Speaker 03

  It's a black dude's ass, you know? Like, I don't think that was his ass.

• 2:34:48Speaker 01

  It was, I was embarrassed to do it. And I, I said, and I meant it, and I know that I would rather show my penis than my butt.

• 2:34:55Speaker 01

  But I did it, and I was embarrassed and I'm, I'm, I'm gonna see it and I'm-

• 2:34:58Chris Williamson?

  That's exposure therapy.

• 2:35:00Speaker 01

  I, I think, I, I recently had Lily Phillips on my podcast, actually.

• 2:35:04Chris Williamson?

  Friend of the country?

• 2:35:05Speaker 01

  Yes, friend of the country, friend of the pod.

• 2:35:07Chris Williamson?

  No, Bonnie Blue's friend of the pod. I'm, I'm team Bonnie, I'm not team Lily, sorry.

• 2:35:11Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting. I don't take teams, not my body.

• 2:35:13Chris Williamson?

  Okay.

• 2:35:14Speaker 01

  But when I, we were talking-

• 2:35:15Chris Williamson?

  It's not her body either.

• 2:35:17Speaker 01

  That's, cut that out, that's, what are you doing?

• 2:35:19Chris Williamson?

  True.

• 2:35:20Speaker 01

  It's all of our bodies, man.

• 2:35:21Chris Williamson?

  It definitely is after a thousand.

• 2:35:23Speaker 02

  What's their, what's-

• 2:35:24Speaker 03

  Your Bonnie Blue debate with Louise.

• 2:35:27Chris Williamson?

  Thank you.

• 2:35:27Speaker 02

  What's their beef?

• 2:35:28Speaker 03

  Louise is, by the way, like, Louise is such my crush. Like, I think she is just-

• 2:35:32Chris Williamson?

  She's in Australia now, she's-

• 2:35:33Speaker 01

  If somebody sold as many tickets as Shane, but maybe one of them had a little bit less or one of them had a little bit more, yeah, but who did it first? If you sold a few more, but I was the first one to do it, that's kind of what their beef is, correct?

• 2:35:44Chris Williamson?

  Apart from the fact that it's a factor of 10. Like, Lily Phillips had sex with a hundred men in a day, Bonnie Blue had sex with a thousand and fifty-

• 2:35:50Speaker 01

  Lily also had sex with a thousand. Look it up.

• 2:35:53Chris Williamson?

  Did she? She ran it back?

• 2:35:55Speaker 01

  Look it up.

• 2:35:55Chris Williamson?

  Dude, I hate counterfeits. Like, the cover is never as good as the original.

• 2:35:59Speaker 01

  Well-

• 2:36:00Chris Williamson?

  First time to hit four figures. Remember Eddie Hall? You know Eddie Hall? Uh, first guy to break a thousand pound deadlift, well, 500 kilo deadlift, right? Like, yeah-

• 2:36:08Speaker 01

  Well, then how come the debate doesn't go, always go to Oscar Robertson's the greatest of all time?

• 2:36:11Chris Williamson?

  Who's that?

• 2:36:12Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 2:36:13Chris Williamson?

  That's uncle-

• 2:36:14Speaker 01

  More championships, more MVPs, but like, that's not Kobe, because that's not the generation they grew up in.

• 2:36:19Chris Williamson?

  That's the same Uncle Rogers guy.

• 2:36:22Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 2:36:22Chris Williamson?

  Uncle Oscar Robertson. Uh, Rogers' son.

• 2:36:26Speaker 01

  I believe you're saying something, a value or a joke, I don't get it.

• 2:36:30Chris Williamson?

  It's neither.

• 2:36:31Speaker 01

  Oh. My wisdom.

• 2:36:33Speaker 02

  I also feel kind of sad for both of those ladies.

• 2:36:37Chris Williamson?

  How was the conversation?

• 2:36:37Speaker 03

  It's a nightmare, man.

• 2:36:38Speaker 01

  Uh, it was nice, I just brought it up because like she, honest, because I, I got that text right before that podcast. And her talking about like what she's comfortable doing with her body, it's, it's to a different level of what I'm comfortable doing with mine, just got to have the same experience. But I, I'm like, she's like, just show your butt, and I'm like, yeah.

• 2:36:56Chris Williamson?

  Hang on, you got butt advice from Lily Phillips?

• 2:36:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:37:01Chris Williamson?

  She's the, she's actually probably one of the few people on the planet that I would consider an expert. That works. Can we go back to the come run?

• 2:37:08Speaker 01

  Yes, I'm so sorry.

• 2:37:09Chris Williamson?

  No, I do think that that's very important to talk about, like, the effect of gravity, and I guess women, like chicks, ladies have got to work out, how, how quickly do I need to move? Because I don't want to get straight up out of bed.

• 2:37:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:37:19Chris Williamson?

  Like, especially if you're not going for the kid thing, you know?

• 2:37:21Speaker 01

  But they do have to pee so they don't get a, an infection.

• 2:37:23Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, so that, it's true, right? But you're like, okay, well, maybe I want to lie here for a little bit, but if I lie here for too long, then I'm risking as soon as I get up. And it gets, it's weird, come gets more, like, uh, like, less viscous.

• 2:37:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:37:36Chris Williamson?

  Over time.

• 2:37:37Speaker 01

  Mine gets more viscous.

• 2:37:38Speaker 03

  The temperature.

• 2:37:38Chris Williamson?

  More viscous?

• 2:37:39Speaker 01

  Just trying to talk.

• 2:37:40Speaker 02

  Mine gets hard and crusty.

• 2:37:42Chris Williamson?

  On the outside, not on the inside. Better not be on the inside, that would be awful. That'd be like the shit that people use, like polyfiller, to put into walls, just expands and like-

• 2:37:51Speaker 02

  That'd be terrible.

• 2:37:52Chris Williamson?

  But yeah, and then they've got to make this awkward, it's like, I'm comfy in bed, but now I gotta get up.

• 2:37:56Speaker 01

  Pun intended?

• 2:37:59Chris Williamson?

  What was the pun?

• 2:38:00Speaker 01

  Comfy.

• 2:38:01Chris Williamson?

  Oh, very good.

• 2:38:02Speaker 03

  Oh, I didn't even see that.

• 2:38:03Speaker 01

  That's kind of my superpower.

• 2:38:04Chris Williamson?

  Well played. Yeah, that's an inverse act as well, like just puns that go straight over some everybody's head.

• 2:38:11Speaker 01

  Well, listen.

• 2:38:11Chris Williamson?

  That was cool, but I noticed.

• 2:38:13Speaker 01

  I think this all packed together really well, and could we all finish?

• 2:38:17Chris Williamson?

  Sure.

• 2:38:19Chris Williamson?

  Would you like to?

• 2:38:20Speaker 01

  I was just making another come.

• 2:38:22Speaker 03

  Come joke. Yeah, that was a good, I saw what that was.

• 2:38:25Speaker 01

  Hey, man. This isn't for your audience.

• 2:38:27Speaker 03

  You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

• 2:38:29Chris Williamson?

  This is just for us. This is just for us. But yeah, the come run, I think, is kind of a fascinating bargain that they need to try.

• 2:38:36Speaker 03

  And sometimes futile, though. I don't know if you've had that experience, but there's like the, you know, like you've had the sex and then like, you know, it's like an hour later. And all of a sudden she goes like, and you go like, oh, and she's like, some of you just showed back up again.

• 2:38:49Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 2:38:50Speaker 03

  You never haven't had that?

• 2:38:51Speaker 01

  I've, I've, every time.

• 2:38:53Speaker 03

  That happens so many times.

• 2:38:54Speaker 01

  Maybe your come does, something happens after it goes in there, maybe like, goes like this? Kind of like, you know, you see people like, let's say I'm trying to hide from you and I run in here and there's nowhere to go. And you see me coming and you look around and you're like, oh, you must not be here and you leave. But I'm up on the ceiling with my legs up against the wall, my head's up against the wall. Yeah.

• 2:39:12Speaker 03

  See, I had a theory, cause I got snipped like 27 years ago when my, my second kid was, was, was born. And so I had the theory that like, the vagina's like holding on to the seat, but they're like, there's gotta be something in here.

• 2:39:26Speaker 01

  Oh, like red meat in your intestines.

• 2:39:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, like they're like, like it's, it's holding on to it. Like dude, come on, there's gonna be, there's gonna be some sperm.

• 2:39:31Speaker 02

  How was that? Did that hurt or did like?

• 2:39:34Speaker 03

  Getting, is that, oh, it was fucking awesome.

• 2:39:36Speaker 01

  Really?

• 2:39:36Speaker 03

  For the best $40 copay in the history of the world. It was great.

• 2:39:39Speaker 01

  I'm so scared to do that.

• 2:39:40Chris Williamson?

  The experience is not.

• 2:39:41Speaker 03

  It was fine.

• 2:39:42Speaker 01

  Insurance covers that?

• 2:39:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, insurance covers.

• 2:39:43Speaker 02

  Where does all your, like, where do all the sperm cells go?

• 2:39:46Speaker 03

  It just cuts off the, the production of, it doesn't change anything about any aspect of your sexual experience.

• 2:39:52Chris Williamson?

  So did you come?

• 2:39:54Speaker 03

  Yes, of course.

• 2:39:54Chris Williamson?

  Like just, but just come come out?

• 2:39:55Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 2:39:56Speaker 01

  Let's cut to a clip.

• 2:39:57Speaker 03

  The exact same place it always did, the exact same volume, the exact same.

• 2:40:00Speaker 01

  Just think of it like a, like a sonagone.

• 2:40:02Speaker 03

  It just doesn't have sperm in it.

• 2:40:05Speaker 02

  But where does the sperm go is the question.

• 2:40:07Speaker 01

  I got this, I got this.

• 2:40:08Speaker 03

  You stop, you stop producing.

• 2:40:09Speaker 02

  How does that not affect you if you cut off the life force in your body?

• 2:40:13Speaker 01

  It does. It affects your, I think it affects your hormones.

• 2:40:15Speaker 03

  Life force, I have no idea.

• 2:40:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's kind of.

• 2:40:17Speaker 03

  It certainly didn't change my, my sex drive. It didn't change my virility.

• 2:40:22Chris Williamson?

  You did stop choking men, though.

• 2:40:23Speaker 01

  So your free testosterone, your testosterone aren't necessarily connected with each other and your body is able to absorb things and use things in the way that your body uses it.

• 2:40:30Speaker 02

  See, I can get into that. If you're telling me I'm still producing sperm, my body's absorbing them, that'd be nice.

• 2:40:34Speaker 01

  No, it's not that your body's absorbing them. It's the testosterone and, and, and I don't remember the other hormones. And if you told me, I would know. I've actually been learning a lot about this stuff. I'm having some hormone stuff.

• 2:40:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:40:43Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 2:40:43Speaker 01

  And your body was like, it doesn't need it. So like, there are certain levels that will become elevated that are in me, for example, that I don't even notice. And like, if, if the, the, the thing that creates it and then goes into the testicles and then there's, there's the semen and there's the sperm. And the semen is just basically the waffle and the sperm is the syrup. Fair?

• 2:41:06Speaker 03

  Sure, sure.

• 2:41:07Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:41:08Chris Williamson?

  Where does the semen come from?

• 2:41:10Speaker 01

  I'm glad you asked.

• 2:41:13Speaker 01

  Just a video of me jerking off?

• 2:41:16Speaker 02

  I think it's the epididymis.

• 2:41:18Chris Williamson?

  The epididymis?

• 2:41:19Speaker 03

  I know there's the vast deference.

• 2:41:19Chris Williamson?

  How did that come up so fucking quickly?

• 2:41:21Speaker 03

  So the vast deference is what, is what puts the sperm into it. The seminal vesicles is what creates this.

• 2:41:29Speaker 02

  It's the epididymis.

• 2:41:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:41:32Speaker 01

  My favorite Greek god.

• 2:41:33Chris Williamson?

  Well, it's crazy.

• 2:41:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean.

• 2:41:36Speaker 02

  He has a sick tattoo.

• 2:41:38Speaker 03

  It was, it was not in any way, it was not in any.

• 2:41:42Chris Williamson?

  Just get the whole thing?

• 2:41:43Speaker 03

  So you see the vasectomy right there, the, where it's cut? What you're just cutting is the vast deference. That's all you're cutting.

• 2:41:48Speaker 02

  Oh, so they're coming straight from your balls?

• 2:41:49Speaker 03

  They cauterize it so you couldn't reconnect it ever. It couldn't accidentally reconnect.

• 2:41:53Speaker 01

  It's like one of those, it's like one of those cookie jars that you put a timer on.

• 2:41:56Speaker 02

  That's hooked to your prostate gland. Your sperm's coming from your prostate gland?

• 2:42:01Speaker 03

  No, the vast, no, the.

• 2:42:04Chris Williamson?

  I love the bulbar ethyl gland.

• 2:42:06Speaker 03

  I think the prostate creates some of the hormones that.

• 2:42:08Speaker 02

  Oh, I see what you're saying. The bulbar, uh.

• 2:42:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's where.

• 2:42:11Speaker 02

  Something about bulbar ethyl.

• 2:42:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, it was.

• 2:42:13Chris Williamson?

  Sounds like a Pokemon.

• 2:42:14Speaker 02

  Did your sperm are made under your, they're not even made in your balls?

• 2:42:17Chris Williamson?

  No, the semen.

• 2:42:19Speaker 02

  The semen's made in your balls.

• 2:42:20Chris Williamson?

  No, the semen's made somewhere else, cause you still produce.

• 2:42:23Speaker 02

  Correct.

• 2:42:23Chris Williamson?

  Semen, but not sperm.

• 2:42:25Speaker 02

  Correct.

• 2:42:25Chris Williamson?

  Dude, spermless semen is crazy.

• 2:42:28Speaker 01

  I mean, it's, it's, it's happening more and more with all the radiation.

• 2:42:31Speaker 03

  It's a lot less stressful. No.

• 2:42:32Chris Williamson?

  It's exactly the same. It's not a different consistency.

• 2:42:34Speaker 03

  Exactly the same. Yeah. I mean, I haven't tasted it, but I.

• 2:42:37Chris Williamson?

  I'm, I'm blown away by this. This is fascinating.

• 2:42:40Speaker 01

  So it was a function, it was a function of the fact, my, so my ex-wife, who, who, you know, won't, she had very difficult pregnancies. She had something called the prothrombin mutation, which caused her, whenever she was pregnant, for her body to create blood clots. And she almost died with our, our first child. She ended up in, and she was 24, like we were kids. And she was in the hospital for like two months because she had this, this, uh, uh, deep vein thrombosis of the ileofemoral vein. Like, and she almost had a pulmonary embolism.

• 2:43:06Chris Williamson?

  The reaction to being pregnant.

• 2:43:08Speaker 03

  Being pregnant. It's this prothrombin mutation is a mutation that causes a woman when they're pregnant. Cause your body, when you're pregnant, starts producing clotting factors right near, because you're getting ready to like tear and like, you know, childbirth is a very traumatic physical thing. So your body increases clotting factors. Well, there's some women who it, from the minute you get pregnant, it starts to produce clotting factors. Like way too many clotting factors. And she ended up with a terrible blood clot. So we had our first son. They had to put her on a, a drug called heparin or fragman, which is a, it basically makes you a chemically induced hemophilia. And it was kind of dangerous for her because she was like a chemically induced hemophilia, but it prevented the blood clots.

• 2:43:50Speaker 03

  She was able to deliver our oldest son, who he was born 22 and a half inches, nine pounds, six ounces. Like it's a profuse placenta, cause she was on these blood thinners. Second child, they go, look, the minute you're pregnant, we gotta have you on blood thinners because you're gonna start having blood clots. He was born healthy, wonderful. Doctor comes in, he goes, great, everything's great. Two's good. Two kids is good.

• 2:44:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:44:14Speaker 03

  And we were like, yeah, no, we think, you know, we're, two's probably good, but we're, and he was like, no, no, two's good. Like, you don't, like the chances of her having a pulmonary embolism, having a serious.

• 2:44:24Chris Williamson?

  Even with the heparin.

• 2:44:24Speaker 03

  They go up every time more. So I was at that point, married, two kids, 26 years old. And I was like, okay, I have no plans of getting divorced. And I was like, yeah, I don't, I don't want her to die. I don't want to be married and wearing condoms. She can't go on the pill because the pill basically tricks your body into thinking you're pregnant, so it increases your clotting factors. So I was like, okay, I either have to be a married man wearing condoms, or I'm gonna go just get snipped. So I was like, this is a no brainer.

• 2:44:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:44:55Speaker 03

  When got snipped, what does it feel like? Honestly, it was like, it's an outpatient thing. You go in, they, they shoot you up with, you know, like some Novocain or whatever.

• 2:45:03Speaker 02

  They don't knock you out?

• 2:45:04Speaker 03

  No, no, you're totally awake. Like you don't want to look, but you're, you know, and then you.

• 2:45:08Chris Williamson?

  You on stirrups?

• 2:45:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, you're kind of up on stirrups. You don't really see what's going on. You don't feel anything because you're numbed out. By the time I, I drove myself home, by the time I got home, it felt like someone had kicked me in the balls. But you put a bag of frozen peas on it.

• 2:45:25Speaker 02

  And then you gotta not, you can't bust for like, what?

• 2:45:28Speaker 03

  No, actually you're supposed to.

• 2:45:29Speaker 01

  The post of bust.

• 2:45:31Speaker 03

  You're supposed to do, it's like something like 50 ejaculations to get all the sperm.

• 2:45:35Speaker 01

  It's like changing, it's like.

• 2:45:36Speaker 03

  And I at the time was like, this is your job. Like I did my part.

• 2:45:41Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 2:45:41Speaker 03

  I did my part. Now you have to help clean this pipes out.

• 2:45:44Speaker 02

  Like six days or something?

• 2:45:46Speaker 03

  I think you're supposed to wait a few days just because it, you, you trust me, your dick would not get hard right after that. Cause it felt like you had kicked in the balls.

• 2:45:53Speaker 01

  If, if I felt connected, I get boners, I get boners from eye contact based.

• 2:45:57Speaker 02

  Then you're over.

• 2:45:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's over. And you're like, all right, I'm good. Like, and you don't have to worry about that. It's like one less thing.

• 2:46:01Speaker 01

  My boy is married. He ain't wearing condoms.

• 2:46:05Speaker 02

  I wasn't feeling that. That'd be crazy to do that.

• 2:46:06Speaker 03

  Seriously, wearing a condom with a wife? Come on.

• 2:46:09Speaker 02

  He was trying to get a low five.

• 2:46:10Speaker 03

  It's brutal.

• 2:46:11Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't, I'm sorry.

• 2:46:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:46:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, that's, that's true. I, I, something about it freaks me out, man. You're just snipping all those wires.

• 2:46:18Chris Williamson?

  I don't think you need to justify that. I don't think you need to be like.

• 2:46:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that's a very, that's a normal reaction.

• 2:46:23Chris Williamson?

  That this is something that is abnormal.

• 2:46:24Speaker 02

  I know so many people that get them. They're like, yeah, it'd be great. I'm like, huh.

• 2:46:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, people get laser eye surgery too. It's like.

• 2:46:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:46:30Speaker 01

  Snip my balls, why don't you? Chris?

• 2:46:32Chris Williamson?

  I got laser eye surgery.

• 2:46:33Speaker 03

  I did too.

• 2:46:35Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 2:46:35Speaker 03

  2020.

• 2:46:36Speaker 01

  My, I, I can't because my eyes, I could see fine. It's, it just waits them because when I take my glasses off, my eyes go in.

• 2:46:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. That's why you couldn't get the vasectomy, because your balls did the same thing.

• 2:46:47Speaker 01

  Burn me.

• 2:46:49Speaker 01

  I actually had, I've had ball surgery. Um, when I was in 11th grade, I had a varicoseal. Incidentally, it came back. I still have one.

• 2:46:56Chris Williamson?

  Last, I was gonna elect to get that last year. I'm gonna get varicoseal surgery.

• 2:46:59Speaker 02

  What the hell? What's a varicoseal?

• 2:47:00Speaker 01

  No, I think we're talking about a different thing. Oh, you have a varicoseal?

• 2:47:02Chris Williamson?

  I have a varicose.

• 2:47:03Speaker 01

  And you want, are you trying to get pregnant?

• 2:47:04Chris Williamson?

  I, I just want to increase, but I want to have a family at some point and not too.

• 2:47:08Speaker 01

  It doesn't necessarily increase, increase your semen load.

• 2:47:10Chris Williamson?

  Decidedly so. Uh, yeah, decidedly.

• 2:47:12Speaker 01

  Well, if I may.

• 2:47:13Chris Williamson?

  I am decidedly.

• 2:47:14Speaker 02

  You gotta get post economic.

• 2:47:14Speaker 01

  If I may, I, I had that.

• 2:47:17Speaker 03

  We gotta get some new tonic post economic. You know what I mean? We gotta get you there.

• 2:47:20Speaker 01

  I had the surgery when I was younger and it went away, uh, but then it came back. So the reason I'm not having the surgery now is because, one, it's kind of a cheat. It does make it more difficult to get somebody pregnant, which if I'm not trying to get somebody pregnant now, it's advantageous. But also it might come back again. And also every time you do it, you're adding more and more scar tissue. And not that the surgery is necessarily that difficult, but like, why do it now with the risk of like? Also, you might be able to be fine with your partner and if not, have it.

• 2:47:51Chris Williamson?

  I, I did the whole sperm count thing.

• 2:47:52Speaker 01

  I froze my come too.

• 2:47:53Chris Williamson?

  Sperm. I was like, hey, what would be a way, what would be something that would probably make me reliably unhappy? Like not having kids. I'm, I, then I watched the video of a guy losing his dick in a freak road traffic accident. And I was like, that might happen to me.

• 2:48:04Speaker 01

  That's propaganda from the come freezing business, by the way.

• 2:48:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, they come, they come as.

• 2:48:09Speaker 01

  Is there any other kind?

• 2:48:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:48:11Speaker 02

  Losing your dick in like a car accident is crazy. How did?

• 2:48:14Speaker 01

  It'd be funny if you were not part of this. Wait a minute, I'm sorry, I hit it around. See, you're losing your dick in a car accident, that's crazy.

• 2:48:23Speaker 02

  That is.

• 2:48:24Speaker 01

  What is that, a car accident?

• 2:48:25Chris Williamson?

  It was technically a bike accident, so the guy was riding on a, and then he hit, you know, in London, there were those spiked fences, thin sort of wrought iron with a little spike on the top. Homeboy just like hit the, and there's a photo of his dick, like his dick came off.

• 2:48:39Speaker 02

  It came off?

• 2:48:40Chris Williamson?

  Came off. Dick off.

• 2:48:42Speaker 01

  Wasn't Nick Cage in that?

• 2:48:45Chris Williamson?

  Dick off.

• 2:48:47Speaker 01

  Who could be meaner? Nick Cage or John Travolta?

• 2:48:50Chris Williamson?

  Vladimir Dickoff. I had a big discussion about a year and a half ago, and I must think about it at least once a month, which is, one of the guys made the case that coming on yourself is gay.

• 2:49:03Speaker 01

  And that- That I'm gay.

• 2:49:05Chris Williamson?

  But his, and I was like, okay, well, that's obviously, that's an insane thing saying, and he's like, well, no, because you used the landing strip. The what?

• 2:49:12Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a, that's a, he's making, that's a joke.

• 2:49:14Chris Williamson?

  No, this is, he was ardent about this. He was not someone that was joking, that he will put before he engages in-

• 2:49:22Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought you meant he shaved the landing strip.

• 2:49:23Chris Williamson?

  He put, he'll put like a, like a bunch of toilet paper.

• 2:49:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. You don't do that?

• 2:49:28Chris Williamson?

  Beforehand.

• 2:49:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:49:30Speaker 02

  Is that saying to like, catch it so it hit him?

• 2:49:34Chris Williamson?

  Yes.

• 2:49:36Speaker 02

  I mean, if that's gay, jerking off is gay.

• 2:49:38Chris Williamson?

  No, no, no. His, his point was, if you do it, if you like, it would, the gay thing-

• 2:49:42Speaker 01

  Jerking off is a little gay.

• 2:49:43Speaker 02

  It is. It kind of is. It literally is.

• 2:49:45Chris Williamson?

  You do have cum on you after you've jerked off.

• 2:49:47Speaker 02

  You've also jerked off a guy. You're a guy.

• 2:49:49Speaker 01

  I put a towel down, not because I'm afraid of being gay, but just because it's like, I don't want to have to like, clean up my, you know?

• 2:49:56Chris Williamson?

  But surely you're just, like, if you're gonna use the towel, you could just wet the towel, and then-

• 2:50:00Speaker 01

  Not the same. You don't just wet cum, especially if you have body hair.

• 2:50:05Speaker 02

  Hmm, that's different.

• 2:50:06Chris Williamson?

  Yeah.

• 2:50:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll-

• 2:50:07Speaker 03

  It's also where you're pointing it, you know what I mean?

• 2:50:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I point, I usually put a towel over, like, from, I'm serious.

• 2:50:13Chris Williamson?

  You put a burka on. I put a burka on, cut a hole in it.

• 2:50:15Speaker 01

  From, from my pelvic bone, where I have lots of cum, I go like this, and I literally-

• 2:50:20Speaker 01

  wherever it goes. Yeah.

• 2:50:21Speaker 03

  Okay, alright.

• 2:50:23Chris Williamson?

  But this landing strip thing, this is, because the table was split pretty much 50/50 between people that were like, yeah, yeah, of course.

• 2:50:29Speaker 03

  I appreciate the proactivity of that. I feel like there's, like, you've, you've thought about, you begin with the end in mind.

• 2:50:34Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, but-

• 2:50:34Speaker 03

  You know, like, yeah, I respect that.

• 2:50:36Speaker 01

  I know what I'm doing here. This is intentional.

• 2:50:38Chris Williamson?

  I don't, dude, it just seems like such a high friction way to do it.

• 2:50:42Speaker 03

  Whoever can, you know, I'm gonna have a vulnerable, I'm gonna have a vulnerable moment-

• 2:50:45Speaker 01

  Well, don't use tissues, you have a cum rag.

• 2:50:46Speaker 03

  I'm gonna have a vulnerable moment, because we're, we're, we're really, we just got into masturbation, and we're having this group male talk, we covered like the seminal vesicles, we've really covered a lot here. Have you, and I don't know if this is just like, yeah, I'm the oldest in this group, I'm turning 54 next week, have you ever just given up while jerking off?

• 2:51:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:51:04Speaker 03

  You have? Okay, cool. I guess, I, I, like, where you're just like jerking off, and then you kind of like, ah, fuck it, and you just stop.

• 2:51:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:51:11Chris Williamson?

  First thing, first thing in the morning, a few times, but it's, that's a rarity.

• 2:51:15Speaker 03

  Well, first thing in the morning, because that's morning, what is like, not really functional, I don't think, a medium.

• 2:51:20Chris Williamson?

  That's a good point, it's a, it's a Trojan horse.

• 2:51:21Speaker 03

  It really is. And I have to tell you, the older you get, you're gonna get mad at that, because-

• 2:51:26Chris Williamson?

  I'm ready to go.

• 2:51:27Speaker 03

  You get up, and you're like, where were you yesterday? Like, where were you, where was this? Like, you could hang your hat on this.

• 2:51:35Speaker 01

  Maybe your penis would be nicer if you stopped yelling at him.

• 2:51:40Speaker 03

  Hey fucker!

• 2:51:42Speaker 01

  You know?

• 2:51:42Speaker 03

  First of all, he's gotten me in a lot of trouble, so I feel like I don't know that we're friends.

• 2:51:46Chris Williamson?

  This is big, did he go for-

• 2:51:47Speaker 03

  I don't, yeah, I don't know that we're friends. I've given away half a 401K, like, I don't know that I feel fucking great about it.

• 2:51:53Speaker 01

  Isn't that just a 200.5? We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

• 2:51:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, uh, yeah, giving up, it almost, it's like, uh, sometimes it can be almost a moral victory, where you're like, I don't need to do this.

• 2:52:05Speaker 01

  You running for president.

• 2:52:07Speaker 03

  But you're not like fully in it. It's like, you're thinking about it, you're like, oh, maybe I will, and then you're like, eh, you know.

• 2:52:12Speaker 02

  There's the old distinction, are you horny or are you porny?

• 2:52:15Speaker 01

  I actually have a great, so I think of this sometimes, because I feel, I feel the same-

• 2:52:20Chris Williamson?

  When you, sorry, when you kick one of the trip wires, you go like-

• 2:52:24Speaker 03

  Well, I feel like, I, I'm actually really interested to hear his, his, his pornography. You're so progressive in your thought, and you want to like, connect with a woman intimate, you know, like an intimate way before you get- But like, how do you land on porn then?

• 2:52:36Speaker 01

  Come closer on me? So something I've noticed is, first, I want to say what, what I tripped on. I think that like, sometimes, like, I'll, sometimes I'll masturbate because I can, and I feel it's very similar to like, I'm not hungry, but if you look in the fridge, there's something that'll get me hard.

• 2:52:54Speaker 03

  True.

• 2:52:54Speaker 01

  You know, and it's like, I didn't need this, and you don't eat the whole thing, you know, I get that.

• 2:52:59Speaker 03

  There's grapes on the counter, you're not hungry, but you're like, oh, there's a grape.

• 2:53:02Speaker 01

  But like, if you're at home, and you're lonely, and you're like, I don't know what to do, and I don't want to sit in my feelings, let me put on some porn and see if I'll eat something. And then you could get a little bit hard, and you're like, then you do that, but it's not good. That's not good, that's chocolate cake when you shouldn't be eating it.

• 2:53:18Chris Williamson?

  Bad juju.

• 2:53:19Speaker 01

  What did you call me?

• 2:53:23Speaker 01

  I think, I think I know what you're saying. What, what, what, what, what did you mean?

• 2:53:26Chris Williamson?

  Mojo.

• 2:53:27Speaker 01

  Bad karma.

• 2:53:27Speaker 03

  Bad vibes.

• 2:53:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:53:30Chris Williamson?

  Ju.

• 2:53:32Speaker 01

  Did you just sneeze? Am I missing something?

• 2:53:35Speaker 02

  If you're a lawyer, if you're a lawyer, you're allowed to.

• 2:53:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that's the most antisemitic of all of this thing.

• 2:53:39Speaker 03

  I'm a German lawyer.

• 2:53:41Speaker 01

  But yeah, I'll come on a towel.

• 2:53:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:53:44Speaker 01

  Uh, I, I think that pornography, much like, uh, uh, processed foods in the cabinet, um, serve a purpose, and I understand its want. I think it's dangerous, I think being able to get that, I'm not a scientist, but I still recognize that feeling of it. And like, getting access to that is, is easier than it's supposed to be, and I think whether it's porn, or, or if it's junk food, or if it's having a conversation with my mother-in-law.

• 2:54:15Speaker 01

  The issue is really just like moderation.

• 2:54:19Chris Williamson?

  Can I give you some stats? Because I wanted to bring this up for everybody, but specifically you. This week, Playboy published the 2026 Gen Z Sex Survey that asked more than 2,000 young people aged 18 to 29 what's happening in the world of sex, dating, and intimacy. One in five Gen Zers are virgins. Forty-five percent of those who had sex in the last three months had just one partner. So like, most sex is happening inside of a relationship. This is, the 36% have not masturbated in the last three months.

• 2:54:50Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 2:54:51Chris Williamson?

  Thirty-six percent.

• 2:54:52Speaker 01

  I don't believe it.

• 2:54:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 2:54:54Speaker 01

  I think, I think young kids won't admit that they jerk off, and they're lying to the testers.

• 2:54:58Chris Williamson?

  Porn completely satisfies their sexual desire.

• 2:55:03Speaker 01

  That I believe.

• 2:55:04Speaker 03

  That, yeah, that I think I believe.

• 2:55:06Speaker 01

  Kids are, you're not, it's your physio, you're masturbating.

• 2:55:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:55:09Speaker 01

  There's no way.

• 2:55:09Speaker 03

  I also just think the proliferation of porn, and then the gateway drug of like Instagram, almost, you know what I mean? Like, the, you're just inundated with images that are like porn adjacent, and then porn is so easily accessible.

• 2:55:26Chris Williamson?

  In that case, what's happening with the 36%? Thirty-six percent have not masturbated in the last three months.

• 2:55:31Speaker 01

  There's no way.

• 2:55:32Chris Williamson?

  You think that's just straight up?

• 2:55:33Speaker 01

  I, I think, I think, yeah, I think that, I forget what the term is called in, in, in surveying, but like, that sample's flawed. There's no way. You, what are they doing? Priests are jerking off. I don't mean that from a Christian sense, I'm just saying from a biological sense. Like, it's, of course you are.

• 2:55:52Speaker 01

  Of, we're all jerking off all the time.

• 2:55:55Chris Williamson?

  If you stop shouting at it.

• 2:55:56Speaker 02

  Are these just men, or just men and women?

• 2:55:58Chris Williamson?

  Uh, across both. So it could just be-

• 2:56:01Speaker 02

  It could be.

• 2:56:02Chris Williamson?

  But that would be like, still more, dude, 30% of men, 30% of men have not, oh, it's interactive, this is great.

• 2:56:10Speaker 01

  I also don't believe that statistic of women. I think a lot of women that don't do it feel a sense of shame, and they don't talk. I think that's on both sides. More women masturbate.

• 2:56:17Chris Williamson?

  Can we go single in a relationship?

• 2:56:19Speaker 01

  I have a really strong stance on this.

• 2:56:20Speaker 03

  We have, we have, um-

• 2:56:23Chris Williamson?

  Oh, all right, no, no.

• 2:56:24Speaker 03

  The discourse right now is, I think, shaming men for masturbating and for porn again. I think that that's comeback, that's made like a comeback.

• 2:56:33Chris Williamson?

  Matt thinks that he's a saint if he goes a weekend without jerking-

• 2:56:36Speaker 02

  If I go to a hotel, and I go away for a weekend, if I don't jerk off, I feel-

• 2:56:40Speaker 01

  Have you done that?

• 2:56:41Speaker 02

  Like invincible.

• 2:56:42Speaker 01

  Do you do that because like, I've already gone two days, I could go one more?

• 2:56:45Speaker 02

  No, it's just like, there's something about it, I'm getting to the age where I'm like, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna watch it, I don't wanna watch porn, I just, yeah, just like-

• 2:56:52Speaker 01

  Oh, you're talking about porn or masturbating?

• 2:56:53Speaker 02

  Porn, porn. But if I'm not gonna watch porn, I'm, if I, you know, I can, if I can skip porn, I can probably skip.

• 2:56:59Speaker 01

  Interesting. So, you don't, a hundred percent of the times you masturbate is with porn?

• 2:57:04Speaker 02

  Not always, but it's always like, if I can skip one, I can kind of skip the other. That makes sense.

• 2:57:09Speaker 01

  Like, if you've already flossed?

• 2:57:11Chris Williamson?

  It's, it's hard to eat the cookies that you don't have in the house, so it's just not queuing the hunger in the same way.

• 2:57:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. I can, and I've done it, obviously.

• 2:57:19Chris Williamson?

  Uber Eats.

• 2:57:19Speaker 02

  But, yeah, but no, I, uh, something about it, I just get, not even like a intense shame spiral, it's just kind of like, eh.

• 2:57:28Chris Williamson?

  Memory wipe.

• 2:57:28Speaker 01

  Never talked about your masturbation on the weekends.

• 2:57:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:57:31Speaker 01

  Weird.

• 2:57:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I never talked about it?

• 2:57:34Speaker 03

  I was never a porn guy. I was never a porn guy. You know, it's funny, it's generational, I think, like, I, it was really difficult to get-

• 2:57:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:57:43Speaker 03

  In the seventies and eighties when I was growing up, like, you had one friend whose dad had a Betamax, and maybe he had like a porno tape under the, you know, like the, and like, so you'd have to be with someone when you were watching it, and that made it kind of weird, and then you're like, gotta, you know? So it was just, or like, you'd trade like a bunch of your comics for like someone's Hustler magazine, and then you had like one magazine that you, just like a million times over, you know, every photo in it, you know, you, you'd gone with, so I, I grew up poor, and we couldn't afford, definitely porn poor. I grew up in like a super Catholic household, we weren't allowed to see movies that weren't, we weren't allowed to see movies that weren't on the Vatican approved list, and-

• 2:58:24Speaker 02

  I used to get the Catholic standard in time.

• 2:58:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, big time, big time. And I still know, like, I mean, I was, I was an accolade, like, I was super in the church, like, I still to this day know the, you know, the whole thing, like, I know the, the entire mass, like, I know from beginning to end, um, Nicene Creed.

• 2:58:40Speaker 01

  Maybe you just have a great memory.

• 2:58:41Speaker 03

  No, I, I think when I've seen something a billion times, yeah, I can remember it, but it's not that I have a great memory, it's just that repetition. Like Monty Python, I saw so many damn times, and the Nicene Creed, I had to say so many times, I just, you know, we blew it, unjudges Christ, God of God, light from night, true God, true God, big God, not may one of being with the Father, like, the whole thing, it's just in my head.

• 2:59:00Chris Williamson?

  I like that with AG1 ad reads.

• 2:59:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. I'm not like that with law, like, hearsay is a statement made by the declarant other than while testifying a trial or the proceeding offered in evidence prove the truth of the matter asserted.

• 2:59:10Speaker 01

  I could do that with the alphabet.

• 2:59:11Speaker 03

  That's cool.

• 2:59:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's pretty good.

• 2:59:15Chris Williamson?

  Boys, appreciate you all. Uh, where you shows, anything for people to go to? What have you got going on?

• 2:59:20Speaker 01

  Um, Houston this weekend, Salt Lake City, Seattle somewhere, uh, I don't have any dates booked now, after those, that's the end of this run of the tour. Go to rickglassman.com, I'm adding a whole bunch of new dates, and, uh, thank you guys for your patience with me. Thank you for your patience.

• 2:59:38Speaker 02

  It's a pleasure.

• 2:59:41Speaker 01

  Fine, I don't even feel that high.

• 2:59:44Chris Williamson?

  I kind of passively feel high. What have you got going on?

• 2:59:47Speaker 01

  Uh, I'll be Jacksonville, Florida, Charlotte, North Carolina, Tampa, Orlando, Newark, New Jersey, that's, that's a big one, and, uh, you can go to mattmccusker.com. Salt Lake City.

• 2:59:59Chris Williamson?

  Bims, what have you got?

• 3:00:00Speaker 03

  I'm just out there facilitating the demise of unhappy marriages. That's really the main thing. Go to trustedprenup.com if you want to get a prenup from us, but- Other than that, I'm at NYC Divorce Lawyer on Instagram, that's about all you.

• 3:00:12Speaker 01

  Bang. The trustedprenup.com, was it available, or did you have to find somebody who had it, and you, you made a bid?

• 3:00:17Speaker 03

  It was available. Yeah, it was available. Yeah.

• 3:00:20Speaker 01

  That's how you know you found your niche.

• 3:00:22Speaker 03

  Well, we were like, we want to do a prenup, you know, like a prenup service online, all 50 states, and we were like, what should we call it? And we were like, well, like, prenup, you want to be able to trust the prenup. We're like, oh, trusted prenup.

• 3:00:32Speaker 01

  I sometimes see this, the sign for this is dentist office in, in, uh, in, in Los Angeles, where they knock you out no matter what it is.

• 3:00:39Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, Sedation Dentistry.

• 3:00:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it's, and it's something that, it's like, it's like, it's like, no fear dentist.

• 3:00:43Speaker 03

  They're doing sedation tattooing. Like, if you're having like a massive piece, they will knock you out, you're gonna have full anesthesia.

• 3:00:51Speaker 01

  Do you think they target guys with little dicks or little asses?

• 3:00:53Chris Williamson?

  You're gonna say you've got a massive piece.

• 3:00:55Speaker 01

  Oh, no, he was saying that he, to distract from his little butt, he got that big-

• 3:00:58Speaker 03

  Big back piece.

• 3:00:59Speaker 01

  Back piece. So it's like, you know-

• 3:01:01Speaker 03

  Well, I was suggesting that for you. I was saying it would draw the eyes up, so you turn around, you would see-

• 3:01:06Speaker 01

  I thought you said that's why you did it. Were you just joking?

• 3:01:09Speaker 03

  I was just joking.

• 3:01:09Speaker 01

  I, I genuinely, I genuinely-

• 3:01:11Speaker 03

  No, they're sewing my massive cock, it's sewed, like, that's all-

• 3:01:14Speaker 01

  You got a, you got a big ass?

• 3:01:15Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't, I've never really gazed at my ass, I don't know.

• 3:01:18Speaker 01

  Pun intended.

• 3:01:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:01:19Chris Williamson?

  Nice. Solidarity in small asses. Boys, appreciate you all.

• 3:01:21Speaker 01

  You got a nice ass.

• 3:01:23Chris Williamson?

  Thank you. See you next time, my beauties.

• 3:01:25Speaker 03

  Dude, I have a couple, keep it going. I have a couple of ideas.