Pod Insights Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast Ep 618 - Officer Lemaire (feat. Charles Blyzniuk & Lemaire Lee) About this episode Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod
Support Lemeez Nate and Andy @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm
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Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com
Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/
Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @
https://www.shawngardini.com/live
Heyyyy. Sorry for the late ep. We had some crud goin on. Matt is in Fort Wayne as I type this. If you're in Fort Wayne go see him!!!!! He was dearly missed but Meez and Blizzy held it down in his absence. It was a hot one if I do say so myself. Have a great weekend everyone!! Please enjoy. God Bless.
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Transcript 11,545 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 Wild, wild west.
0:02 Speaker 01 Luke.
0:02 Speaker 00 Well, I have Bellmar rules.
0:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, Luke, you sexy as hell.
0:06 Speaker 00 Yeah, he looks good.
0:06 Speaker 02 You're back on the Bellmar train?
0:08 Speaker 00 I am.
0:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
0:09 Speaker 00 He was, I think, I don't know, he went away.
0:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
0:12 Speaker 00 I haven't seen him.
0:12 Speaker 01 I know. I wonder what happened to him.
0:15 Speaker 00 He's back. He's got shaved head.
0:17 Speaker 01 Just went to study.
0:18 Speaker 00 Wearing a scarf, doing a fucking business.
0:20 Speaker 02 Yeah. He learned with the monks.
0:22 Speaker 00 Yeah.
0:22 Speaker 02 He learned business with the monks.
0:23 Speaker 01 I think he did, yeah. He and Wemby.
0:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
0:26 Speaker 01 Went to China together.
0:27 Speaker 02 Buy, sell, buy.
0:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. He's like, you, you stick to basketball, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be the business, I'm business.
0:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
0:38 Speaker 01 The monks will teach me the ancient wisdom, yeah.
0:42 Speaker 00 This is how it talks. It's great. He's like, AI is gonna take all of your jobs. All of your jobs.
0:51 Speaker 00 And there's just people in a fucking convention center like, this is good stuff. This is good, I need this.
0:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
0:58 Speaker 00 Anyway, hello, welcome to the podcast. Matthew's not here. We tried to do yesterday, but I couldn't get out of bed after going to the NBA finals. I was a little tired. But kind of fucked it up for everybody, because now Matt's gone and now La Mer is.
1:16 Speaker 00 Now La Mer is filling in. La Mer just, he's fired up. He just walked into the kitchen and was like, have you heard about the Lego thing?
1:25 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, you mentioned this to me too.
1:27 Speaker 00 And then he turned off, I was watching a nice Humming. I was watching a nice Hummingbird documentary and he just turned it off, put on a Lego fucking YouTube video and then walked back outside.
1:37 Speaker 02 I was making, I was grilling sausages, I had to go check on my sausages.
1:42 Speaker 01 What's, okay.
1:43 Speaker 00 What are you so happy about?
1:46 Speaker 02 Having a good time.
1:46 Speaker 00 The fucking dopers are in a good mood today.
1:48 Speaker 01 That's great.
1:49 Speaker 00 Guard Dog's energy is, I've never seen him this happy.
1:54 Speaker 03 I feel good.
1:54 Speaker 00 What's going on? Why are you so happy?
1:56 Speaker 03 Just Zandini today, I don't know why.
1:59 Speaker 02 It's been a while.
2:00 Speaker 03 It has been a while.
2:01 Speaker 00 Yeah, I haven't seen this side of you in forever.
2:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, well, I haven't seen you guys in a while.
2:04 Speaker 00 I miss the old, I miss the old Guard Dog.
2:08 Speaker 00 This new grumpy Guard Dog.
2:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, well.
2:10 Speaker 00 But now he's in a good mood.
2:11 Speaker 03 Sometimes I do too, yeah.
2:12 Speaker 00 What do you think's gonna happen tonight? When you're riding high right now? I've seen how this usually goes.
2:18 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'll probably have a couple of whiskies and get mad about something.
2:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
2:22 Speaker 03 I won't let it ruin it.
2:23 Speaker 00 Who do you think you're gonna get mad of? What do you think's gonna?
2:26 Speaker 03 Whoever's around.
2:27 Speaker 00 Someone's gonna get the business.
2:30 Speaker 03 There's a good chance.
2:31 Speaker 02 They're gonna go, "You're a chud."
2:36 Speaker 04 I have noticed Cardi B's got better at like, right before the mean kicks in, leaving. He's been sensing it.
2:44 Speaker 00 Usually I've seen his lady, his lady's usually the one going, dragging him out.
2:49 Speaker 00 I see, it's so funny. Like, we were at the mothership the other night and I watched his, his girl goes first, he's always behind her like,
2:56 Speaker 00 "I have to leave."
3:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, someone's about to get punished.
3:04 Speaker 01 He can say, just a fist on the table. We should go.
3:09 Speaker 02 It's under the table.
3:11 Speaker 00 So Meezy, fill us in on the Legos.
3:13 Speaker 02 All right, there's this company called Bricks and Minifigs, and they are a Lego reseller. So they buy Legos from people and they resell them. And there's this guy, uh, him and his dad had a big collection of Legos and they had like a, a, a, a building, a store. And then the dad got sick, so to cover the cost, they like, had a deal with Bricks and Minifigs that made sure that they were retained owning the Legos, but Bricks and Minifigs would sell them and they'd just like take a portion of the sale, you know? So then the dad gets better and they're like, "All right, we want our bricks back." And then the company's like, "We actually don't have them."
3:53 Speaker 02 But they do have them, they're still on the shelves, they're like advertising them on their Instagram and stuff, and they're just lying and lying. So that guy calls a YouTube guy, and then the YouTube guy does a whole investigation, and that's when it gets nuts.
4:10 Speaker 01 So what gets knocked?
4:12 Speaker 02 This YouTube guy, he's just like trying to investigate. He's like, give back the bricks. And the guy's like, no. He's like, all right. And then he goes through all the legal loops. So he like makes a company that uh, he makes a company so that the legal company will sue him. So the company is like, uh, pretty much an exact copy of the company, but he's just trying to infringe on them so that they sue him. And they won't do it. And then, uh, he makes a lottery because, but he goes through all the loops so that's to make like a legal lottery. And then he, uh, sells the mini figs because he owns the figures. He owns the figures. So he sells the figures to the lottery. And the company doesn't give the figures away. So they're criminally in trouble now.
4:55 Speaker 02 But every time he goes to the cops, the cops are like, you gotta leave. You're the one causing the problem. He's like, legally, they're stealing from me and you guys aren't doing anything about it. And then it just, that happens for like a couple of months. And then he like tries to give up and he starts to go fund me for the guy. And then he gets arrested for doing the go fund me in Utah because they like, you're still like harassing these people and he's not doing anything. And it turns out everybody's Mormon.
5:25 Speaker 02 The Mormon thing is the crazy thing. It's like a Mormon, like, uh, all the cops are Mormon, all the owners of the company are Mormon. So there's like,
5:33 Speaker 01 This is deeper than Legos now.
5:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's deeper than Legos, bro. And this YouTube guy's figuring it all out like in real time. Like this is like three months old.
5:41 Speaker 00 What kind of mystery is that? It's in Utah. They're all Mormons.
5:44 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's true.
5:49 Speaker 00 They're all Mormon.
5:50 Speaker 02 Yeah. I don't think, I think the, it's about the Mormon mafia that is more or less taking over Legos.
5:57 Speaker 00 They're taking over Legos?
5:58 Speaker 02 Taking over Lego reselling.
5:59 Speaker 00 The Mormon mafia is taking over Legos?
6:01 Speaker 02 Cause a lot of other people have tried to get their Legos back and it doesn't work with bricks and mini figs.
6:06 Speaker 00 Yo, my God.
6:07 Speaker 01 So that's, okay.
6:08 Speaker 00 So the Mormon mafia is taking over. He's just high in his room.
6:11 Speaker 01 The Mormon mafia.
6:12 Speaker 00 Mormon mafia is taking over Legos. Yo, my God. I gotta go inside and tell Shane.
6:20 Speaker 00 He goes, did you hear about the Lego thing?
6:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, I thought this, I thought it was truly like the Lego.
6:25 Speaker 02 Dude, it's crazy.
6:27 Speaker 00 What's crazy about it?
6:27 Speaker 02 You gotta watch the videos, man. He's getting arrested for nothing. Like it's crazy. He's doing everything legally right. And then the cops are like, hey, man, you're fucking with our guy. So you're wrong.
6:39 Speaker 01 He brings in a lot of Lego money for the.
6:41 Speaker 02 Well, he, yeah, yeah. Well, I think bricks and minifigs gives the cops some kickbacks.
6:48 Speaker 00 You think the Lego resellers are paying off the cops?
6:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, almost definitely from this video. Based on this video.
6:55 Speaker 00 Yeah, but why, why would they pay off the cops?
6:57 Speaker 02 Because they don't want people to get their Legos back. They want to keep the profit. I don't know, man. I don't know. It's crazy. It's like Pokemon cards with Legos, though.
7:06 Speaker 00 Okay.
7:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:09 Speaker 00 Are they valuable Legos?
7:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's like, uh, his collection was worth $200,000. Yeah.
7:14 Speaker 01 Okay.
7:14 Speaker 02 It was like some Legos you could never get again.
7:16 Speaker 01 It's like the, just keep thinking of like the Lego model of like the Sean John headquarters.
7:25 Speaker 01 You can't get this one anymore.
7:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, you can't get the Diddy style Lego anymore.
7:31 Speaker 00 Yeah, did you get to see the Diddy video?
7:32 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
7:35 Speaker 00 That's a scary one.
7:36 Speaker 02 The video made me sad.
7:37 Speaker 00 It's a tough one to see, yeah.
7:38 Speaker 01 There's a new video?
7:39 Speaker 00 It's a video of a lady. The only thing I saw was she was giving a guy head and Diddy was kind of just creeping around. He's walking around in the back, stroking that shit daddy.
7:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm back here stroking my shit.
7:56 Speaker 00 I didn't see the sex.
7:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:58 Speaker 00 Was, he was getting after it?
7:59 Speaker 02 She was getting punished.
8:00 Speaker 00 It was the Punisher?
8:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, it wasn't the Punisher. It was somebody else, but she was getting punished.
8:04 Speaker 01 It was, it was the Punisher's understudy.
8:05 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:11 Speaker 01 I lost my voice. I can't punish.
8:15 Speaker 00 Yeah, there's, seeing him, yeah, his, his physique wasn't.
8:22 Speaker 00 It's tough. It's tough.
8:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:23 Speaker 00 The whole thing's tough.
8:25 Speaker 02 Man, it's.
8:25 Speaker 00 He's like hunched over, stroking the relatively tiny dong.
8:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:33 Speaker 02 Damn.
8:33 Speaker 01 Was that?
8:34 Speaker 02 I think he had sex with his mom.
8:36 Speaker 00 Do I think Puff had sex with his mom?
8:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, you watched, uh, did you watch the doc?
8:40 Speaker 01 No.
8:41 Speaker 00 I did. I don't remember thinking that, though.
8:43 Speaker 02 Cause like, uh, they were talking about how much he's time he spent with his mom and how she like groomed him for her stuff.
8:48 Speaker 00 Yeah. I don't know, maybe he got molested by somebody.
8:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:53 Speaker 00 It's usually what leads to cracking one off in a hotel, walking around.
8:58 Speaker 01 True.
8:59 Speaker 00 Naked, filming it with red lights.
9:01 Speaker 02 With the punisher.
9:01 Speaker 00 Usually something happens.
9:04 Speaker 00 When you got the punisher.
9:04 Speaker 01 It draws you to, it draws you to the red light bulbs.
9:07 Speaker 00 Straight to the red light bulbs. You have those.
9:09 Speaker 02 What?
9:10 Speaker 00 You love red light bulbs. You crack.
9:11 Speaker 02 What's the red light bulbs?
9:12 Speaker 00 He cracks them off like Diddy, dude. He walks around in that room with the red light bulbs.
9:18 Speaker 04 We're synced up days apart. Like, we were just talking about how freaky anybody who's doing red light bulbs were yesterday.
9:25 Speaker 00 Oh, really?
9:25 Speaker 04 Yeah. I didn't know La Mer was a red light.
9:27 Speaker 00 It's definitely true.
9:29 Speaker 04 Oh shit, you're a red light bulb guy?
9:31 Speaker 02 I just say Alexa, turn the sun red.
9:32 Speaker 04 Yo.
9:33 Speaker 02 It's so easy.
9:34 Speaker 04 Damn.
9:35 Speaker 00 What's going on? You can't even close the blind.
9:38 Speaker 01 Turn the sun red.
9:39 Speaker 04 Block out the sun.
9:41 Speaker 01 Turn the sun red.
9:42 Speaker 04 Block the sun out. I'm ready to crack one off.
9:47 Speaker 01 Turn the sun red. Turn the fucking.
9:49 Speaker 00 Jesus Christ, dude. Yeah. I think that's kind of a black thing, though. You guys love colored lights.
9:54 Speaker 04 I don't think so. Cause I always see it at high-rise apartments. That's where I see it the most. Like a freaky, like, high-rise purple or red.
10:00 Speaker 01 Freaky high-rise.
10:01 Speaker 04 Just a freaky, a freaky ass, cause you see that when I go, that's the freaky guy.
10:04 Speaker 01 Of course, yeah.
10:05 Speaker 00 It's a purple room.
10:06 Speaker 04 Yeah.
10:07 Speaker 01 It's true.
10:08 Speaker 00 Nothing good's going on there. They're not, they're not playing cards.
10:12 Speaker 04 No.
10:12 Speaker 00 They're not putting together a puzzle. They're.
10:15 Speaker 04 They're getting nasty.
10:16 Speaker 00 Spit roasting a guy. Doing something evil in there.
10:21 Speaker 04 Wasn't that Diddy-o? Diddy or Diddy-o?
10:23 Speaker 00 The Diddy.
10:24 Speaker 04 Diddy video.
10:29 Speaker 04 Well, wasn't that like Freaky Red Light?
10:31 Speaker 01 The worst cereal.
10:32 Speaker 04 I'm really happy with Diddy.
10:33 Speaker 00 It was.
10:33 Speaker 01 DiddyOs.
10:35 Speaker 04 You gotta stop turning the camera.
10:36 Speaker 00 He kinda looks like Nate.
10:37 Speaker 04 Who?
10:38 Speaker 00 Naked Diddy.
10:44 Speaker 04 There's no way. I haven't seen the video yet.
10:45 Speaker 00 You'll look it up. You'll go, damn, that got me.
10:49 Speaker 00 Is that me?
10:52 Speaker 00 I'm sorry. If it's me, I'm sorry.
10:54 Speaker 02 Man, to be fair to Diddy though, like, if you catch me like standing jerking off, I'm gonna be hunched too.
11:00 Speaker 00 Yeah, of course. I'm gonna be hunched. I'm hunched no matter what.
11:03 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:03 Speaker 00 Somebody filmed me walking in LA and I got made fun of. I was in public.
11:10 Speaker 02 What the hell?
11:12 Speaker 00 And that was unfortunate because me and McKeever were both wearing red gym shorts for some reason. We were wearing like matching outfits, walking together. It's pretty embarrassing.
11:24 Speaker 02 You guys are gonna work out.
11:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:25 Speaker 00 No, we...
11:27 Speaker 01 Walking.
11:28 Speaker 00 We're not working. We're gonna get a... We both got our hair cut. We were in the same hotel and I came down. He was wearing red shorts. I was wearing... We were both like, oh man, we look dumb.
11:36 Speaker 02 You guys wear matching shorts.
11:38 Speaker 00 We're the exact same outfit.
11:39 Speaker 02 To get your haircut?
11:39 Speaker 00 Yes. And then we went to the same place and got our haircuts.
11:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:42 Speaker 02 That's kinda gay.
11:43 Speaker 01 White guys.
11:44 Speaker 00 Yeah. All it would have taken is different colored shorts and we would have been fine.
11:47 Speaker 01 Yeah. White guys, red gym shorts. Black guys, red light bulbs.
11:53 Speaker 00 Yes.
11:54 Speaker 02 Dude, white guys, white guys love...
11:56 Speaker 01 I'm sorry, I'm not...
11:57 Speaker 04 Red light bulb guys.
11:59 Speaker 00 Yeah, you are.
12:00 Speaker 04 Well, no, we're not. I've never want... Never want seen it in my life. Where to win?
12:05 Speaker 00 I'm saying 50% of the red light bulbs are represented by 13% of the population.
12:12 Speaker 00 You guys love red light bulbs.
12:14 Speaker 02 I've owned red light bulbs two separate times in my life.
12:17 Speaker 04 But...
12:17 Speaker 00 I rest my case. I've never.
12:18 Speaker 04 La Mer just does La Mer things. Like, it's like saying, every black dude's coming here putting on the Lego dot, like the Lego news. That's not... You can't use La Mer as the... I'm not saying, I'm not trying to discount your blackness. You're black as hell. I would never do that to you. I'm just saying La Mer is an outlier in a bunch of different...
12:34 Speaker 00 He is an outlier.
12:35 Speaker 01 True.
12:37 Speaker 03 And light bulbs and I think there's
12:39 Speaker 01 That's a good point.
12:40 Speaker 00 Yeah, like gamers.
12:41 Speaker 03 Black culture and anime.
12:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:43 Speaker 04 But then, but then you always got like the white gamer guys got like a light blue or a purple light bulb going on in there.
12:49 Speaker 02 Or the LED lights.
12:50 Speaker 04 Just like, or to get a color change.
12:51 Speaker 00 But I feel like the LED, so you're saying that's white culture?
12:54 Speaker 02 The strip.
12:54 Speaker 00 And you guys are appropriating.
12:57 Speaker 04 I do.
12:58 Speaker 00 So you're gonna give us one?
12:59 Speaker 04 I'm not gonna say no.
13:00 Speaker 00 Can we get one? Can we get LED lights?
13:01 Speaker 04 Appropriating it is not.
13:03 Speaker 00 And we got gamer chairs. Those are ours.
13:05 Speaker 04 Gamer chairs? No. Gamer chairs are definitely us.
13:09 Speaker 01 No.
13:10 Speaker 00 No way.
13:10 Speaker 04 I'm just claiming it. I don't even.
13:14 Speaker 02 Chairs are white guys. No, they're Asian.
13:16 Speaker 00 Asian.
13:17 Speaker 02 Gamer chairs are Asians.
13:18 Speaker 00 I wonder who was first, though.
13:19 Speaker 04 Koreans.
13:20 Speaker 00 It feels like the honkies.
13:21 Speaker 04 Feels like Koreans to me.
13:23 Speaker 02 I don't know, man. I do specifically.
13:24 Speaker 00 Yes.
13:25 Speaker 04 Yes.
13:26 Speaker 02 They might have made the chair, but the white guy innovated it. Not to sound like a knuckle tongue.
13:30 Speaker 04 Ah, think, think about how locked in. Think about how locked in.
13:34 Speaker 00 About the gamer chair.
13:37 Speaker 04 Brother Lee was on the devil's podcast.
13:40 Speaker 01 Oh, true. Oh, my God.
13:42 Speaker 00 He's gonna get you.
13:43 Speaker 01 He's watching.
13:44 Speaker 00 He's gonna be waiting in Philly. Run the fade.
13:49 Speaker 01 Tell me more about this Lego documentary, brother.
13:54 Speaker 02 Dude, I'm only on part two. I gotta get to part three. I'm waiting for part three. I think part three comes out tomorrow.
13:59 Speaker 01 Would you ever go to, have you been to Utah?
14:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, I went with Matt recently, actually. It was pretty nice.
14:04 Speaker 00 I like Utah.
14:05 Speaker 02 Utah's cool.
14:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:07 Speaker 01 Would you go back to investigate?
14:09 Speaker 02 No.
14:10 Speaker 00 You don't wanna get involved?
14:11 Speaker 02 No.
14:12 Speaker 01 You could help him out.
14:13 Speaker 02 No, dude, this guy was getting fucked. Like, they would shoot me.
14:18 Speaker 02 That's how fucked this guy was getting. Like, they would have shot me. Like, for real.
14:21 Speaker 00 Man, if you get killed by police brutality, then there's fucking Le Maire murals everywhere.
14:31 Speaker 00 This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Summer's a lot of fun, but it can be a lot. Summer's fun, but it can be a lot. Matt, or?
14:42 Speaker 01 It can be a lot.
14:45 Speaker 00 Lemar. Tell me, what's one thing this summer that you have a lot going on? What did you do? Did you enjoy being that busy? Or did you prefer a more relaxed itinerary?
14:57 Speaker 02 I enjoy the business a little bit, but I would like some more relaxed.
15:01 Speaker 00 You need to relax more. That's what I always say about you. People ask me, they say, what's it like living with Lemar? I say, God, I wish the guy would fucking relax.
15:12 Speaker 02 Too much of a busybody.
15:13 Speaker 00 Yeah.
15:14 Speaker 02 I got so much going up here.
15:16 Speaker 00 You do.
15:16 Speaker 01 It's true. The police radio never turns off.
15:18 Speaker 00 True. We do have to get you a scanner.
15:22 Speaker 01 Oh, man. Actually, you would have fun with a scanner.
15:24 Speaker 02 Yeah?
15:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:25 Speaker 00 I think so.
15:26 Speaker 01 You'd go to Crimes in Progress.
15:30 Speaker 02 I would, dude.
15:32 Speaker 00 You'd be feared in the city. The criminals, the bad guys would go, oh, shit, it's Lemar.
15:38 Speaker 02 This is the leverage, he's coming.
15:39 Speaker 00 He's gonna get you. The leverage. You'd get low on him, fire out. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed, try BetterHelp. They're one of the biggest online therapy platforms and pretty highly rated, too. They can connect you with a professional therapist who can help you understand what you need to truly enjoy your summer. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off betterhelp.com/MSSP. That's better H E L P dot com slash M S S P. Now, let's get back to the show.
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17:11 Speaker 00 Yo.
17:12 Speaker 02 Hey, everybody. It's me, La Mer. I'm gonna be in Charlottesville on June 25th.
17:16 Speaker 00 Uh oh.
17:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
17:18 Speaker 00 Wait a minute.
17:20 Speaker 02 Bringing my torches, bring yours.
17:22 Speaker 00 Bring my, I'll be in Ferguson, Missouri. I'll be in Charlottesville. Where else are you going?
17:26 Speaker 02 Charlottesville on the 25th of June and the 27th of June, Columbia, South Carolina. And then I got a bunch of shows coming up on the East Coast in August. Please check those out at lamerly.fun. Panties in the mouth, the Tenacious Lee Brothers podcast. Please check those out as well.
17:42 Speaker 00 Tenacious Lee Brothers?
17:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:43 Speaker 03 What's that?
17:44 Speaker 02 This is me and Jabri. We just play video games.
17:45 Speaker 03 Oh, that's awesome.
17:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:48 Speaker 00 Jesus Christ.
17:51 Speaker 00 Thanks, gang.
17:53 Speaker 03 And Matt's in Fort Wayne, Indiana, tonight. So go see Matt tonight. The link's in the description. I'll be in Charleston pretty soon, too, if you want to go see that. Thank you.
18:03 Speaker 02 I like it.
18:04 Speaker 03 Goodbye. An optimal noctis. Goodbye.
18:06 Speaker 00 Or we could get like a mural of the view and paint you as.
18:10 Speaker 02 What paint you as?
18:13 Speaker 00 He is the view. Have you ever heard his opinions?
18:15 Speaker 03 No.
18:15 Speaker 02 I'm not the view.
18:16 Speaker 00 It's the view.
18:17 Speaker 02 No, I've been, nah, I've been on the news. I've been back.
18:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:23 Speaker 02 Back on the news. The guy over there.
18:25 Speaker 03 You're back on the news?
18:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:27 Speaker 03 What's, what's going on?
18:28 Speaker 02 Right now, they're talking, they're trying to get AI wealth funds.
18:32 Speaker 03 Okay.
18:32 Speaker 02 They're trying to, yeah.
18:33 Speaker 03 Oh, like have AI operate them rather than people?
18:37 Speaker 02 No, they're trying to have the money we would pay people, we would take it from companies, put it in the fund to take care of people since there's not going to be any more jobs and there's nothing we can do to stop it.
18:49 Speaker 03 I see. Okay.
18:51 Speaker 02 Have you noticed?
18:52 Speaker 00 What?
18:53 Speaker 03 You're on that?
18:54 Speaker 02 Everyone keeps going, there's going to be no more jobs. It's like, all right, fucking make something else. Make more jobs or something like. You know, it doesn't make any sense.
19:06 Speaker 00 Well, in what way? Like, I also don't think, I think there's gonna be jobs.
19:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:10 Speaker 01 I think so too.
19:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:12 Speaker 04 I was watching this doc like two days ago called How I Became an Apocaloptomist or something like that. It was, uh, but it was like a, the whole thing is just a dude interviewing people who like make AI and all of those people, he even had like the CEOs on there, they're like, yeah, we for real don't know what the fuck is happening with this. Like, it's like major CEOs being like real pessimistic about it and it wasn't, it wasn't a good, the, the point they're trying to make is I guess we're moving too fast, like everybody's trying to be the best, but because everybody's trying to be the best, we're not being careful as like, uh, like the whole planet.
19:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:45 Speaker 04 Yeah. And it's kinda.
19:48 Speaker 02 I also saw a news that said people are stealthily reversing their AI decisions too. Just like, they're not like publicly making it known. Yeah. But that's not, it's still, they're fucking still moving dangerously fast.
20:02 Speaker 01 I was, I was walking around earlier today and I was thinking about, uh, you see like the Mexican guys, construction crews, like building stuff? And, uh, you know how they can like 3D print the foundations of houses now? Yeah.
20:19 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, yeah, I've seen that.
20:20 Speaker 01 Uh, those guys are gonna have a lot of time on their hands to just open up the porn. Open up the porn again.
20:29 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
20:29 Speaker 01 They're gonna not be able, they're gonna have to like be on site, but they don't have to build.
20:33 Speaker 00 Yeah, they're just gonna jack off.
20:34 Speaker 01 Jack off.
20:37 Speaker 00 They're just gonna have to jack off at every job site.
20:41 Speaker 00 I wonder how often the lads hit a fucking jack off at a site?
20:44 Speaker 02 Probably pretty, in the porta potty?
20:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
20:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:48 Speaker 00 Yeah, hitting the siesta, yeah.
20:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:52 Speaker 01 Ay, ay, ay.
20:53 Speaker 00 In that midday, fucking.
20:54 Speaker 02 You gotta keep them busy, dude. You ever see the lads after work?
20:57 Speaker 00 Yeah.
20:58 Speaker 02 This six pack of Modelo on the bike, dude.
21:00 Speaker 00 Yes.
21:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, this six pack.
21:01 Speaker 00 Or in the truck.
21:02 Speaker 02 Or in the truck.
21:03 Speaker 01 In the truck.
21:04 Speaker 00 Actively drinking, I've seen it so often. Just a guy driving with a fucking beer. It's on every road here. And I support it. Not drinking and driving, I don't support drinking and driving, but I support the lads doing it.
21:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, they, they seem to handle it until they don't. And then until they fucking flip the shit.
21:23 Speaker 00 Yeah.
21:32 Speaker 00 Then they're right back on the side of the highway taking another siesta. You see them like, like, like not, they're not even like hurt, just, just like, oh shit, they got me.
21:42 Speaker 01 Dude, there's so many videos of a Mexican guy hammered, crashing his car and he, and people are filming and they get out and they're like, what'd you do?
21:53 Speaker 00 Just lays down.
21:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, he literally doesn't, he's just good.
22:03 Speaker 01 I was, I was jerking off in the passenger seat. The driver took off.
22:12 Speaker 02 You gotta crank one in a, in the police, in the cop car, if you know it's gonna be like your last one.
22:18 Speaker 01 Yes, you're about to get locked up.
22:20 Speaker 02 You gotta like thigh rub it out.
22:23 Speaker 00 Thigh rub it out?
22:26 Speaker 02 You gotta come one more time before you get in there.
22:28 Speaker 00 You did the act?
22:32 Speaker 00 What the fuck's a thigh rub?
22:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, I actually don't know.
22:37 Speaker 01 Wait, no, no, please.
22:40 Speaker 00 You just thigh rub?
22:41 Speaker 02 You just like tuck your meat and then you're just like.
22:48 Speaker 02 I can't believe you never did thigh rubs.
22:52 Speaker 02 It's crazy.
22:53 Speaker 01 No, I've actually never.
22:58 Speaker 00 I fully believe him.
23:00 Speaker 00 Also, he's got those thick ass thighs.
23:04 Speaker 00 Crazy good.
23:07 Speaker 01 It probably does, actually, yeah.
23:11 Speaker 00 So you hit fucking thigh rub jack offs?
23:13 Speaker 02 Not, I'm not in a long time, but I'm saying.
23:15 Speaker 00 What's a long time?
23:16 Speaker 01 But like.
23:17 Speaker 02 Like, since like, maybe like, when did I start driving?
23:22 Speaker 01 While you're driving?
23:23 Speaker 02 No, not while I'm driving. I was just trying to think of the timeframe, probably like 25.
23:28 Speaker 00 When you, when you were 25 years old?
23:29 Speaker 02 Before then, yeah, 22, 25 in that area.
23:32 Speaker 00 22 to 25, you were not using your hands and jacking off by moving back and forth.
23:38 Speaker 01 That's. The movement is.
23:42 Speaker 00 Fucking gross. Does it feel good right now? Ew.
23:44 Speaker 01 I bet.
23:45 Speaker 02 I'm not, I'm not, I'm not jacking right now.
23:48 Speaker 01 You're not jacking?
23:49 Speaker 00 Damn.
23:51 Speaker 01 Wait, you're not jacking right now or you mean like?
23:52 Speaker 02 I'm not jacking. I'm not jacking.
23:57 Speaker 01 What'd you say? He's been jacking off for every podcast.
24:03 Speaker 00 Fuck.
24:04 Speaker 02 I'm not drinking off right now, I swear.
24:06 Speaker 00 Well, now you can't be trusted.
24:09 Speaker 01 True.
24:10 Speaker 00 You cannot be trusted, dude. I'm gonna see you walking and be like, ew. I know he's tucked in between his thighs, dude, he's a freak, fool. That's the red light, you block out them.
24:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, the lights change automatically.
24:24 Speaker 00 Alexa, make the sun red and then...
24:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
24:31 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna set fire to that house.
24:36 Speaker 00 I'm gonna burn that house to the... The pool house is condemned.
24:42 Speaker 02 It is. It's gonna fall.
24:43 Speaker 00 Yeah, the house is collapsing.
24:44 Speaker 02 I saw, I saw a crack in the, near where the door is and I was like, I'm doomed.
24:49 Speaker 00 Yeah, you're... One of us is gonna have a house collapse.
24:53 Speaker 02 And smushed.
24:55 Speaker 00 If you get smushed mid-thigh.
24:58 Speaker 01 Actually, it might feel better.
25:00 Speaker 00 Yeah, true.
25:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
25:07 Speaker 01 Damn, that's, that's really funny, to get in a car accident and just like...
25:14 Speaker 00 Is that a cop being, "Sir?"
25:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
25:16 Speaker 00 "Sir, stop."
25:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
25:18 Speaker 00 "I'm allowed to do this."
25:19 Speaker 01 Yeah. "I'm gonna break your window to get you out."
25:24 Speaker 00 Bliss has been watching Midwest, Midwest Safety with me. We've had some great ones. The one of the, the meth lady getting her car attacked.
25:31 Speaker 01 That's probably my favorite so far.
25:33 Speaker 00 It was really great. So a lady at a gas station and they're like, "She's got a warrant." They pull up, three cars box her in immediately. Four cops come up to the window and they're like, "Open the door now." And she's like, "What?" And they're like, "I'm gonna break the window if you don't open the..." It took 20 seconds of them being like, "Open the door," to like, five cops punching her car. Everyone just started wailing on this car. Guy starts stabbing the fucking tire. He just walked out of this lady's car. She's on meth, she's like, "What?"
26:02 Speaker 01 She didn't even get to, she was trying to get gas. She didn't even get to get out of a car. They like...
26:07 Speaker 00 Boxed her in immediately, started wailing on her car.
26:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:11 Speaker 01 You see the body cam of a guy, he takes his knife out.
26:14 Speaker 00 Yeah, he just stabs the tire. She's like, "Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me?" Fuck you bitch.
26:22 Speaker 01 She escapes too. She like gets away.
26:24 Speaker 02 She escaped in the car?
26:26 Speaker 00 Yeah, she wrecks a lot, but then she crashes later and then hides under just a person's porch. She's under there smoking. She gets a couple. She gets a couple more.
26:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:39 Speaker 00 She was awesome. Then she goes to the hospital and just really talks shit back and forth with the cop. Like in a really funny way. She's like, yeah, have fun working at Costco the rest of your life. You just lost your fucking career bitch. He's like, fuck you lady. He's like, you just swallowed 15 bags of fentanyl. You shouldn't talk to anybody. So I'll talk. I'll fucking spit it out whenever I want. I'm fucking, this is fine.
26:59 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. She, yeah, he's like, your bail's $500,000. Is he gonna pay that? And she's like, yeah.
27:04 Speaker 00 She was like, yeah, no problem, dude.
27:08 Speaker 00 I just gotta shit these bags out.
27:11 Speaker 00 That's 500 grand right there.
27:13 Speaker 02 She swallowed 15 bags of fentanyl?
27:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:17 Speaker 00 They yank her out from under a porch. She just smoked. They found a crack plug with her.
27:22 Speaker 01 Mad respect for that.
27:23 Speaker 00 She was awesome. Crash the car, sprint through a neighborhood, hide under a porch and just go.
27:29 Speaker 00 They're never gonna find me.
27:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, you gotta get it in before you go.
27:33 Speaker 00 Yeah.
27:35 Speaker 01 Before you hit the clink.
27:36 Speaker 00 Be awesome. I'd be, I'd be so happy to be in the house when she did that. To be like, you see a crazy lady sprint to your backyard.
27:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:43 Speaker 00 And then light up a fucking crack and then have a police dog run under the porch and bite her.
27:50 Speaker 01 It's really like, wait, that's my sister. She's not smoking crack.
27:52 Speaker 00 She's awesome.
27:52 Speaker 01 And then, and then you let her inside and she goes, you motherfucker. Yeah, anyway, actually it's not my sister. Get, take her away.
28:00 Speaker 02 No.
28:02 Speaker 01 Oh, man.
28:02 Speaker 00 She's getting close to those Rens, dude.
28:04 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, true.
28:05 Speaker 02 They're back in the Bud Light box?
28:06 Speaker 00 They are.
28:07 Speaker 02 Dang, that's nice.
28:09 Speaker 01 Actually was really nice to see that they're back.
28:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, they really messed this.
28:15 Speaker 00 Can you hear anything?
28:17 Speaker 03 Uh, no, I'm not sure about that. I just can't. Every time I see a Mexican guy from now on, I'm gonna think about how bad he wants.
28:23 Speaker 00 Yeah, bad he wants to jerk off. I don't think anyone's close to what the mayor's up to. The mayor's the new leader in the clubhouse.
28:33 Speaker 00 I mean, that's the most preposterous.
28:35 Speaker 01 Thyra.
28:36 Speaker 02 It's possible, dude.
28:40 Speaker 02 Anything is possible.
28:43 Speaker 01 May I, may I ask a personal question?
28:47 Speaker 02 Uh, yeah.
28:47 Speaker 01 Have you thigh rubbed all the way to completion?
28:51 Speaker 00 Obviously, yes. He saw all the way his face dropped. He knew exactly what he's done.
29:00 Speaker 00 You thigh rubbed to completion?
29:02 Speaker 02 I don't think so.
29:03 Speaker 00 He also used to jack off on his knees.
29:05 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah. I did.
29:07 Speaker 00 He'd sit behind his grandma's couch and sit on his knees and jack off on the floor.
29:13 Speaker 02 So she wouldn't see me. There were stairs. I was trying to hide.
29:19 Speaker 04 Granny knows.
29:24 Speaker 02 I had to hide. She couldn't see me.
29:25 Speaker 00 You're usually number one.
29:27 Speaker 01 Have, yeah. Damn.
29:32 Speaker 00 The boys are going wild.
29:34 Speaker 01 I know.
29:38 Speaker 00 They're ready for the Spurs, dude. They're trying to speed around this.
29:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's true.
29:41 Speaker 02 Go Spurs, go.
29:45 Speaker 01 What's that?
29:47 Speaker 02 Think they got it this game?
29:49 Speaker 00 I think the Spurs are gonna win game two.
29:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:51 Speaker 00 But, New York's pretty awesome.
29:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:55 Speaker 00 Brunson's the fucking man.
29:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:56 Speaker 01 It's unbelievable.
29:57 Speaker 00 Hard's the fucking man. Cat, I was, I was happy for Cat.
30:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:02 Speaker 00 Cat played really well.
30:04 Speaker 04 I kinda came around on the Knicks watching that game. I hated the feeling of it, but like, like, Cat kinda like locking Wimby up for like the first two quarters was, I mean, he had, he made it hard for Wimby.
30:15 Speaker 00 Yeah.
30:15 Speaker 04 Harder than anybody did all playoffs.
30:17 Speaker 00 You make it hard for anybody.
30:21 Speaker 00 The way you were, the way you were dressed.
30:24 Speaker 04 It wasn't that bad. It was just a beater. Everybody thought it was a V, a deep V.
30:28 Speaker 02 It wa, it wasn't a beater. It was a deep V. He cut the sleeves off.
30:32 Speaker 04 He keeps saying I cut the sleeves off a deep V.
30:34 Speaker 00 Is that true?
30:35 Speaker 04 No.
30:38 Speaker 01 Would you ever do that? That's actually kinda, that's nice.
30:42 Speaker 02 No.
30:43 Speaker 00 You should start dressing like Sotoyo.
30:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, if I'm sure, that's, that's R and B shit.
30:48 Speaker 00 Remember when Sotoyo brought out the long tees?
30:50 Speaker 01 The long tees.
30:51 Speaker 00 Super long tees, but not baggy.
30:53 Speaker 02 And the scarves?
30:54 Speaker 01 Shout out Sotoyo.
30:56 Speaker 00 Sotoyo had the drip.
30:57 Speaker 01 He did have the drip. Probably still does.
31:00 Speaker 00 Yeah, that doesn't go away.
31:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's true. It's not, it's not all me, it's me.
31:04 Speaker 00 Sotoyo drip, you don't lose that. You're born with that.
31:09 Speaker 00 I wish we had Beez M Z here.
31:10 Speaker 01 I know.
31:11 Speaker 00 Beez M Z just breaking, anytime you see him, he just breaks the story. He just goes, "Dude, Sotoyo got fucking banned from helium." Dude, I don't give a fuck.
31:24 Speaker 00 King Cobb, dumbass.
31:31 Speaker 01 It truly is word on the street.
31:32 Speaker 00 Yeah, Beez immediately.
31:34 Speaker 01 He's got his ear to the streets.
31:36 Speaker 00 Yo.
31:39 Speaker 01 Smoke shop guy.
31:42 Speaker 00 Pat House.
31:45 Speaker 00 It's you with Philly comics, you go, "Fuck yeah."
31:49 Speaker 01 I always forget the name of his local smoke shop, but I rode my bike by it a couple of days ago.
31:53 Speaker 00 The one that we said looked like him?
31:56 Speaker 00 He got mad at us. We were in the car after a Phillies, we were in the car after a Phillies game. Beez was a menace at the game. And then, uh, we're in the car and for some reason he got mad. The Bud Man, is that what it is?
32:09 Speaker 01 Bud Bandit.
32:10 Speaker 00 Bud Bandit. There's like a Bud Bandit, uh, you're the Bud Bandit. There's a Bud Bandit billboard that just looks like Beez. We're like, "Yo Beez, there's your billboard." And he's like, "Yo, I don't fucking look like that guy at all. Fuck you."
32:24 Speaker 01 It's just a, yeah, it's just a white guy with a hat and sunglasses. It does look like him.
32:28 Speaker 00 Exactly like Beez.
32:32 Speaker 00 It's exactly like the Beez.
32:35 Speaker 00 He got pissed.
32:36 Speaker 02 New Jersey.
32:37 Speaker 00 "I don't fucking do that shit. Fuck you." Sorry Beez. I miss the Beez dearly.
32:44 Speaker 01 Me too. I can't wait to see him, uh, just in, in Philadelphia.
32:50 Speaker 00 I'm gonna get up there.
32:51 Speaker 01 See what he's up to.
32:52 Speaker 00 It's probably a Bonner's.
32:54 Speaker 01 I would love that.
32:54 Speaker 00 Can't wait to get to Bonner's.
32:57 Speaker 02 They haven't been to Bonner's in a minute.
32:58 Speaker 00 It's time. We're due.
33:00 Speaker 02 Bonner's is nice.
33:02 Matt McCusker? Is brought to you by Mint Mobile.
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33:40 Speaker 00 Incredible.
33:42 Speaker 05 Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.
34:13 Speaker 01 I like seeing that really old guy at Bonner's. There's a really old man who.
34:17 Speaker 00 Looks like a pirate.
34:19 Speaker 01 He looks like a pirate. He comes every day.
34:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
34:21 Speaker 01 And, uh.
34:22 Speaker 00 And there's the guy with the dog. Guinness dog. You see that? This guy with like a purple dog. He dyed his hair purple and he makes a drink Guinness.
34:29 Speaker 01 Really?
34:30 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's pretty great. The dog sits at the bar and drinks Guinness out of a bowl. Yeah, fuck yeah. I'm gonna die here. This is perfect. You got the bees to my left. Bees on the table.
34:44 Matt McCusker? Bees on the table. His Guinness bowl.
34:49 Speaker 00 Bees in Guinness bowl. Yeah, con man is a menace in there, dude. Dude, I don't know what happens. Anytime we're at Bonner's.
34:56 Speaker 01 Turns it upside down.
34:59 Speaker 00 Dying. I've seen him dead in there 20 times.
35:02 Speaker 01 Every picture I've seen from there, it's like.
35:05 Speaker 00 He gains 80 pounds when he gets his belly stick straight out. He more, he's like a pig going back into the wild. Takes like three days for him to grow tusks. He's a wild boar instantly.
35:20 Speaker 00 That was where I switched the game on. He was trying to watch NFL. I put on 2010 YouTube full game and he was.
35:27 Speaker 01 Didn't notice.
35:30 Speaker 00 The fuck's going on here?
35:35 Speaker 02 He didn't notice that it was a whole game?
35:37 Speaker 00 He watched a game from like oh four for fucking 20 minutes on his phone. And it was a game he was just at. He just left like Eagles Titans or Eagles Falcons. It was like Falcons Bucks on the TV. Yeah. He's like, they're playing again?
35:56 Speaker 00 They got another game today.
36:02 Speaker 00 But yeah, I'm excited to go to the basketball game again tonight. I can't, I can't keep, can't keep away. Every day I wake up, I go, I should fucking chill. And it's like, I could also go to the fucking game.
36:16 Speaker 02 Dude, aren't you, not to get rid of you, but aren't you gonna be in NYC too?
36:20 Speaker 00 I am going to New York tomorrow.
36:23 Speaker 02 Dude.
36:23 Speaker 00 You think I hit the entire series? You think I hit the whole series?
36:27 Speaker 02 The whole series, dude.
36:32 Speaker 01 I know.
36:35 Speaker 01 Wait, you might be, you're like the, the guy who sits at every-
36:38 Speaker 00 Miami Marlins?
36:39 Speaker 01 No, Goldstein, the, the old guy, the really old guy.
36:42 Speaker 00 I ain't no damn Goldstein.
36:45 Speaker 00 You can call me anything you want, but don't call me that.
36:54 Speaker 00 Yo, fucking Goldstein.
36:59 Speaker 02 Do, do, do.
37:01 Speaker 00 Yeah, if I could get perfect attendance would be sick. They asked, I was thinking about going to the White House UFC. It's a tough one.
37:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
37:10 Speaker 00 It's a tough one to go to. I can't decide.
37:15 Speaker 00 It's a tough choice. Cause it's gonna be sick as fuck, dude. It's on the White House lawn.
37:21 Speaker 02 And they're new lawn. It's like new, right?
37:23 Speaker 00 Sick, dude.
37:24 Speaker 02 Didn't they just like make it for this?
37:25 Speaker 00 Yeah.
37:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, they're like still building it, I guess, right? That giant dome.
37:31 Speaker 01 I mean, it's-
37:31 Speaker 00 Also, if you get hit, if, if somebody blows it up.
37:35 Speaker 00 Good way to go.
37:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, then you're sure to get a mural.
37:38 Speaker 00 Yes.
37:39 Speaker 01 You'll get a mural.
37:40 Speaker 00 It'd be a crazy mural. Attending to the UFC.
37:44 Speaker 00 Crazy.
37:44 Speaker 02 You can rock Trump.
37:46 Speaker 00 Kid Rock Trump.
37:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:48 Speaker 00 Yeah.
37:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
37:49 Speaker 00 Yeah. Rogies.
37:53 Speaker 01 On the side of like a gas station in Washington DC.
37:56 Speaker 02 You guys are sitting around a big podcast table.
37:59 Speaker 00 Big podcast table in the sky.
38:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:07 Speaker 00 Damn.
38:08 Speaker 02 That would be sick.
38:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, but yeah, if you get hit with a bazooka at that.
38:12 Speaker 01 Get hit with a bazooka.
38:14 Speaker 00 If that's how you go. I died on the White House lawn watching a UFC fight, got hit with a missile.
38:23 Speaker 01 It might be the oblock bazooka. Chicago. Did you ever see that the?
38:29 Speaker 00 One of the, yeah.
38:30 Speaker 01 One of the oblockians.
38:32 Speaker 00 Got his hand on. One of the oblockians got his hand on a fucking bazooka.
38:36 Speaker 01 No disrespect, shout out to, shout out to oblock.
38:38 Speaker 00 For sure.
38:40 Speaker 02 That is the most American way to go. On the White House lawn during a UFC event, buy bazooka.
38:45 Speaker 00 Yes.
38:45 Speaker 02 That's like, yeah, yeah, they'll fucking, they'll spread your dust with a flag.
38:50 Speaker 00 Yeah. Yeah.
38:51 Speaker 01 It's awesome. Yeah, you're, it's Tillman.
38:56 Speaker 00 I'd get a statue outside of helium. The statue of Pat Tillman running with his hair.
39:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:02 Speaker 00 He'd be asleep.
39:08 Speaker 00 Yeah, so that's, we got that going on. I was thinking about going to the UFC and McGregor's coming back.
39:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:14 Speaker 00 I've never gotten to see him fight. Supposed to be locking in and focusing on work.
39:17 Speaker 02 Yeah. Who's McGregor fighting?
39:19 Speaker 00 Max Holloway.
39:21 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
39:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.
39:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's gonna be a banger. Well, yeah, I don't know if McGregor has rust though.
39:28 Speaker 00 Probably.
39:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, and Max has been fighting.
39:31 Speaker 00 Max is an animal.
39:32 Speaker 02 He's in his, he's in his prime right now, actually.
39:35 Speaker 00 Yeah, if McGregor doesn't show up, he's gonna get fucking leveled.
39:39 Speaker 02 He's gonna get pissed off.
39:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, that would be fun. That would be a good fight.
39:44 Speaker 00 I don't know. We'll see.
39:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:48 Speaker 00 There's too many cool things going on this summer.
39:50 Speaker 02 It's a good summer.
39:52 Speaker 00 I gotta focus on the Link show.
39:53 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:54 Speaker 00 Instead, it's like, I think I'll go to the World Cup. There you go. Oh, fuck, the All-Star game's in Philly the same week as my show. Sick. I'll go to that instead of focusing. I'll get drunk for four days at the MLB All-Star game for some reason. I don't give a fuck about the All-Star game. Just sit there and go.
40:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:14 Speaker 00 Come on, Derby.
40:17 Speaker 02 Let's go, Judge.
40:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:18 Speaker 02 Does he still play?
40:20 Speaker 00 Yeah, though I think he's out right now.
40:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, he hurt. He broke something.
40:23 Speaker 00 Stress fracture in his rib.
40:24 Speaker 02 Yeah. I don't know anybody in baseball anymore.
40:27 Speaker 00 I think.
40:27 Speaker 02 I think everybody I used to know is old now.
40:29 Speaker 00 Who do you, who do you know?
40:30 Speaker 02 Uh, was it Christian Yelchin?
40:33 Speaker 01 Who?
40:33 Speaker 02 Or Christian Yelich or whatever?
40:35 Speaker 00 That's a crazy pool.
40:35 Speaker 02 The guy who looks like Davidson?
40:36 Speaker 01 Very specific.
40:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:38 Speaker 01 Wow.
40:38 Speaker 00 He's great. Yeah, I'm surprised that was your guess.
40:40 Speaker 01 I know.
40:41 Speaker 02 Aaron Judge, Shohei, Bryce Harper.
40:45 Speaker 00 You're naming current players.
40:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, but they're like old now, right?
40:49 Speaker 00 You can, you can be kinda old in baseball.
40:51 Speaker 02 Okay, yeah. Justin Verlander doesn't play anymore.
40:56 Speaker 00 I don't think so.
40:57 Speaker 02 Okay. That was the only pitcher I knew, I think.
40:59 Speaker 00 Yeah.
40:59 Speaker 02 It was my guy. Steven Strasburg.
41:02 Speaker 00 We were looking up, we were looking up some Drysdale stats. Very funny, because Christopher Sanchez for the Phillies would set the record for scoreless innings.
41:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:10 Speaker 00 For the Phillies, and he was close to the all time, but the all time is held by, fuck, I forget his name. He's a Dodger, whatever. But second place was Drysdale.
41:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:19 Speaker 00 From the Bags on You Drysdale.
41:21 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:21 Speaker 00 And he was, uh, one out short of tying the record. It was like fifty-three and two thirds.
41:27 Speaker 02 Who hit him?
41:27 Speaker 00 Record was fifty-four. A pinch hitter from the Phillies came in. He said, the bag's on you.
41:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:33 Speaker 00 Got a fucking sack fly in the fifth inning to ruin his record.
41:37 Speaker 01 He didn't kill that hooker.
41:40 Speaker 00 And Drysdale's with his primo whore.
41:45 Speaker 00 Comes downstairs, the fucker's still pissed.
41:50 Speaker 00 A light, I think they meant to say alright, they typed a light.
41:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:53 Speaker 00 Quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Playoff Edition, and it's brought to you by PrizePix, a preferred partner of the NBA. The NBA Finals are here and legacies are on the line. Who's looking sharp and who's just like a pedestrian on the court? Tell you what, there was a pedestrian on the court.
42:10 Speaker 01 I know. And he took the selfie.
42:13 Speaker 00 Yeah, it was pretty great.
42:14 Speaker 01 That was cool.
42:14 Speaker 00 I watched that happen.
42:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:15 Speaker 00 He's brand right by us. It was awesome.
42:17 Speaker 01 Someone, yeah, someone was like, someone just ran on the court and I missed it.
42:21 Speaker 01 I didn't know that they didn't.
42:23 Speaker 00 He did run like, the players were moving down the court too. He just, there was just a guy running.
42:28 Speaker 01 That's so wild.
42:29 Speaker 00 Lemare, who do you think's looking sharp?
42:31 Speaker 02 Dude, Cat's looking pretty sharp right now.
42:33 Speaker 00 Yeah, Cat's looking sharp. I like that.
42:35 Speaker 02 Uh, yeah, I'll go more on whatever his numbers are.
42:37 Speaker 00 Okay, yeah, you like Cat?
42:38 Speaker 01 Wow, nice.
42:39 Speaker 00 After all that?
42:42 Speaker 00 Uh, please begin with your NBA Finals picks. Make sure the players are playing this week. Cat, you're going with Cat?
42:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:49 Speaker 00 What are you thinking?
42:51 Speaker 00 This is what we're thinking for picks this week. There you go. Lemaire says Cat, more.
42:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:56 Speaker 02 Cat more.
42:58 Speaker 00 Fourteen and a half for Cat? I like that.
43:00 Speaker 02 I'd go more for sure.
43:01 Speaker 00 More.
43:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:02 Speaker 00 What about, what's Wemby at?
43:06 Speaker 00 He's kind of due tonight. Although this will be out, what, tomorrow? Shit.
43:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
43:13 Speaker 02 He is due.
43:14 Speaker 00 He's due.
43:15 Speaker 01 He's due.
43:16 Speaker 00 More or less, which teams or players are getting too much or not enough attention? Who do you think's not getting enough attention, Lemare? Cat?
43:24 Speaker 02 De'Aaron Fox, he's my favorite player.
43:26 Speaker 00 You like De'Aaron Fox?
43:26 Speaker 02 I love De'Aaron Fox. Love the Kansas Kings.
43:29 Speaker 00 Yeah.
43:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:30 Speaker 00 De'Aaron Fox needs more attention.
43:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:33 Speaker 00 All right.
43:34 Speaker 02 He's solid on defense.
43:35 Speaker 00 All right, get in on the action and make your picks from everything, points to rebounds, to dunks, three pointers, a fantasy score. For the NBA champion is crowned, PrizePix is a preferred partner of the NBA.
43:45 Speaker 00 Uh, download the app today and use code DRENCHED to get fifty dollars instantly in lineups when you play your first five dollars. That's code DRENCHED to get fifty dollars instantly after you play your first five dollars. PrizePix, a preferred partner of the NBA. This is good. Lemar, what's going on with you in your life? Fill us in, man.
44:01 Speaker 02 Uh, I'm chilling right now. Trying to do more shows.
44:04 Speaker 00 Still chilling?
44:05 Speaker 02 I'm trying to do more shows. I got a cop shirt. I'm gonna do more cop things.
44:09 Speaker 00 You got a cop shirt? You're gonna do cop?
44:11 Speaker 02 I'm gonna pretend to be a cop.
44:12 Speaker 00 You're gonna impersonate an officer?
44:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
44:14 Speaker 01 They're gonna draw on you.
44:15 Speaker 02 Just online, on the internet.
44:16 Speaker 00 You're gonna pretend to be a cop on the internet?
44:18 Speaker 02 Not like for real.
44:19 Speaker 00 No, I mean, but what are you gonna do?
44:20 Speaker 02 Just like, just like some get, some, I'm gonna pretend to do a house call for a guy. He's gonna like, be yelling at his girlfriend and I'm gonna go over there and like, yo dude, you gotta chill. And then there's a bong. I'm like, take a hit of that. And then he offers me a hit. Then we become best friends.
44:35 Speaker 01 Nice.
44:35 Speaker 00 Is this a sketch? What's, what are you even talking about?
44:38 Speaker 02 I'm just thinking of stuff I was gonna make.
44:39 Speaker 00 You know what would be a funny sketch? If you're the cop and you come in and it's a domestic dispute and then you also hit the woman.
44:47 Speaker 00 You go, well, what that bitch said?
44:50 Speaker 01 Square up.
44:51 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay.
44:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:52 Speaker 00 Square up then.
44:56 Speaker 00 There you go.
44:56 Speaker 02 Just let them fight.
44:57 Speaker 00 Yeah, let them fight.
45:00 Speaker 02 She's a strong right.
45:01 Speaker 01 I like that. Is a cop, is it, what kind of cop shirt? Is it like a, just a regu, like what cops wear?
45:08 Speaker 02 It's like a, it's like a button down shirt and it says cop right here.
45:16 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, that is what cops wear.
45:19 Speaker 00 Cop.
45:20 Speaker 01 Cop.
45:23 Speaker 02 She's just cop right over the heart.
45:25 Speaker 00 Nate, can you hand me that officer's hat over there? Let's get a little preview. A little preview for Lemaire.
45:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're gonna need to, alright. That's cool. You could probably get away with that.
45:36 Speaker 02 I'm gonna do some.
45:36 Speaker 00 You're gonna look good as a cop.
45:38 Speaker 02 I'm gonna do some get readies with me as a cop.
45:40 Speaker 01 Get ready with me. Wow.
45:46 Speaker 00 Thank you. Yeah, that's good.
45:50 Speaker 02 I feel official.
45:52 Speaker 01 I like the brim looks.
45:58 Speaker 00 Damn.
45:58 Speaker 01 No, no, I like it lower.
45:59 Speaker 00 You can wear that with a little tharom.
46:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:02 Speaker 02 You're under arrest, show me your pussy.
46:04 Speaker 00 Freak bowl.
46:06 Speaker 02 Show me your pussy or I'm gonna shoot you. Uh, could you like, uh, show me your pussy?
46:13 Speaker 01 Yeah. No, that's a red light cop.
46:16 Speaker 00 That's a red light cop for sure.
46:20 Speaker 01 Just red lights on the top of the cop.
46:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, cop with, he's already handcuffed himself.
46:30 Speaker 00 Comes out just red lights.
46:34 Speaker 02 I have, well, cop lights are purple, you know, you ever see those?
46:37 Speaker 00 I don't think I have.
46:38 Speaker 02 Oh, okay.
46:40 Speaker 01 I've never seen, wait.
46:41 Speaker 02 Really?
46:41 Speaker 00 Cause I think. I think that's a freak cop.
46:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:44 Speaker 00 Coming to get you.
46:46 Speaker 02 There's a red light and a blue light and I think when they like.
46:49 Speaker 00 Oh, sure.
46:49 Speaker 02 There's like the purple in the middle. That's when they're mixing, right?
46:55 Speaker 00 I would imagine, yeah.
46:56 Speaker 01 Yeah. You're seeing into like.
46:58 Speaker 00 You're seeing the fractals.
46:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's true.
47:01 Speaker 02 He's so high, he sees a car go, a cop car.
47:06 Speaker 00 The purple's in the middle.
47:08 Speaker 01 Purple cop car.
47:09 Speaker 02 Dude, it's purple in the middle, dude.
47:13 Speaker 01 It must be for the most, yeah, must be for the most high frequency crimes.
47:19 Speaker 01 Purple police.
47:21 Speaker 00 Yeah, how nice is that homeless guy?
47:24 Speaker 00 When we were walking after Knock This Back to the Mothership, this homeless guy started following us. I saw him, he was like standing in the middle of the street.
47:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:31 Speaker 00 And then when me and Charles walked by, he just started following us. It was like, fuck.
47:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:35 Speaker 00 And then he was like, can I get some money? And then a couple lads showed up and we're like, yo, can we get a picture? And then the homeless guy who just went from being like, can I get, was in behind the picture like.
47:46 Speaker 01 Immediately changed from like, please help to.
47:49 Speaker 00 Yeah, just like, yeah, fuck you, fuck you, yes.
47:57 Speaker 00 No, I think he had a shirt.
47:58 Speaker 01 He had a shirt, he.
48:00 Speaker 00 Might have taken it off.
48:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, true.
48:02 Speaker 00 They pop those things off left and right.
48:04 Speaker 02 We ever talk about this on page? Nate grew up with one of the homeless guys.
48:07 Speaker 01 You what?
48:07 Speaker 02 Nate like grew up with one of the homeless.
48:10 Speaker 00 Yeah.
48:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
48:11 Speaker 00 He ran into a homeless guy and it was one of his.
48:13 Speaker 01 Wow.
48:14 Speaker 00 His broskis. He said, Crody.
48:17 Speaker 00 I need help.
48:18 Speaker 04 He was pretty high on my MySpace, like top eight.
48:20 Speaker 00 Whoa, he was top eight?
48:21 Speaker 04 He was in the, he was in the top eight. We were, we were real close. But he, he, he started trying to be like a thug for fun. Like he had, I don't want to say too much about his life.
48:29 Speaker 01 Sure.
48:30 Speaker 04 But he had like a good upbringing and he ain't, he ain't.
48:33 Speaker 00 He didn't need to do that.
48:34 Speaker 04 And.
48:36 Speaker 01 Thug for fun gets you in trouble?
48:37 Speaker 00 We could.
48:38 Speaker 04 I haven't seen him since I saw him. I saw him once walking with Sean.
48:41 Speaker 01 It's here, down here?
48:42 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, it was like in Austin from like Redding. And one time me and Sean were walking and he pulled up on us and I don't think I've seen him since that day. Yeah. Yeah.
48:53 Speaker 00 That's awesome.
48:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, it is. Haven't seen you in years.
48:57 Speaker 00 What's up dudes?
48:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:58 Speaker 00 I'm homeless.
48:59 Speaker 01 Can you get me the most high octane alcohol?
49:02 Speaker 04 He did, he did get pissed at me because I tried to fist bump him when I saw him because I still had like, you know.
49:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
49:07 Speaker 04 Homeless, like.
49:08 Speaker 00 Yeah.
49:09 Speaker 04 And then I, he was like, you're not gonna shake my hand? And I was like, well, now I gotta.
49:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
49:14 Speaker 04 Now I gotta.
49:16 Speaker 01 Have to.
49:18 Speaker 04 He's right. I mean, it all, you know, whatever.
49:20 Speaker 00 I wouldn't mind bringing back the MySpace top eight.
49:22 Speaker 01 I know, that'd be cool.
49:23 Speaker 00 Be nice to see where you stand with people.
49:25 Speaker 01 Yeah. Be honest.
49:27 Speaker 00 I'd love to be an adult man mad at another adult man being like, yo, I'm not in your top eight. Remember you got a girlfriend and you had to like move her above your boy so you could get some pussy?
49:38 Speaker 01 Well, I don't remember that, but I get it. I believe you.
49:40 Speaker 00 Yeah.
49:41 Speaker 02 Do you, uh, do you, do you pin contacts? That's like a top eight. You're only allowed to do nine of those.
49:48 Speaker 00 What, on your phone?
49:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:49 Speaker 00 Yeah.
49:49 Speaker 02 You have pinned contacts?
49:50 Speaker 00 I do.
49:51 Speaker 02 That's your top eight, dude.
49:56 Speaker 00 I mean, I'm gonna, this is, I haven't done it in forever.
49:58 Speaker 02 I think Andy and Nate are my, and Sean, you guys are my top eight twice.
50:02 Speaker 01 That's nice. Ooh.
50:03 Speaker 02 No way.
50:03 Speaker 01 That's cool. Taking up the.
50:05 Speaker 00 There's Matt, Soder, O'Connor, Billy McCusker and McKeever. That's.
50:10 Speaker 01 It's a good one.
50:10 Speaker 00 I haven't, but this is from like.
50:12 Speaker 01 I know, I never touched mine either. Yeah, same.
50:20 Speaker 04 Yeah.
50:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:23 Speaker 00 This is a good podcast. I think we're doing good.
50:26 Speaker 01 Nice.
50:27 Speaker 00 I think we fucking did it again. We killed it again. Guard Dog, I would like to know what's going on with you. Could you explain why you're so chipper?
50:35 Speaker 03 Uh, no, I can't explain it and I'm kinda worried about it.
50:38 Speaker 00 Yeah.
50:38 Speaker 02 I think he's been running.
50:40 Speaker 00 Have you been running?
50:40 Speaker 03 I jogged.
50:41 Speaker 01 Oh, yes. Yeah, you told me that.
50:42 Speaker 00 Nice.
50:42 Speaker 03 I jogged earlier this week.
50:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
50:44 Speaker 01 It might be that.
50:46 Speaker 03 My jog on Monday.
50:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, dude, residual jog.
50:49 Speaker 03 Yeah, you know, it's nice. I feel good.
50:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
50:53 Speaker 01 Residual jog.
50:56 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'm working off a residual jog from 2018. That was the last time I jogged.
51:03 Speaker 01 It's crazy. I still feel good. Yeah. Still got that runner's high.
51:06 Speaker 00 Hell of a workout.
51:09 Speaker 02 I, I went to 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu today and then I walked in and I didn't see any of my friends there and I just like.
51:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, you gotta leave.
51:19 Speaker 01 Fuck it. Yeah.
51:20 Speaker 02 I think I gotta leave. These guys are gonna kill me.
51:24 Speaker 02 I walked right back out.
51:27 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's embarrassing.
51:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
51:29 Speaker 00 You should have hit him with a little thigh rub.
51:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
51:32 Speaker 00 Somebody gets, if somebody gets full mount, he'll just go.
51:35 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
51:36 Speaker 00 I got bad news for you, bro.
51:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
51:38 Speaker 00 I'm not the fucking nut.
51:43 Speaker 00 You think you won?
51:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's like a Batman villain.
51:47 Speaker 00 Yeah, you really are.
51:48 Speaker 02 The thigh rub?
51:49 Speaker 01 Well, we'll just.
51:50 Speaker 00 Just a skunk, dude. Get close to him.
51:56 Speaker 00 You filth.
51:57 Speaker 01 Yeah. You can't hurt me. This actually feels better for me.
52:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, this is what I like.
52:03 Speaker 01 No matter what type of jiu jitsu move you put on me.
52:07 Speaker 02 I'm gonna go.
52:08 Speaker 01 Yeah. Guys, did you see that cop who came in his pants? At the jiu jitsu place?
52:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, stop, bro. Shoot.
52:17 Speaker 00 There you go.
52:20 Speaker 01 Cop shirt.
52:23 Speaker 00 So what, yeah, I don't really understand your cop shirt plan.
52:29 Speaker 02 I'm just gonna, I don't know, I'm gonna put it on and I'm gonna set my phone up and just see what happens.
52:40 Speaker 00 I think it'll be great.
52:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
52:41 Speaker 01 You know what? Speaking of this, you mentioned this a couple of weeks ago, but the food show.
52:46 Speaker 00 Food show's great.
52:48 Speaker 01 You should wear the cop shirt and get free, free meals.
52:51 Speaker 00 You should start stealing valor at food trucks.
52:53 Speaker 01 There you go. Oh, I also.
52:54 Speaker 00 I think a full military uniform would be awesome.
52:57 Speaker 01 Yes.
52:57 Speaker 00 You'd be like, I'm a, I was a Navy SEAL.
53:01 Speaker 01 Yeah. You're like, I'm actually, I'm Dornar.
53:06 Speaker 02 Chris Dornar.
53:08 Speaker 00 I'm Dornar.
53:11 Speaker 00 I got out.
53:15 Speaker 00 Man, they they killed the fuck out of him, right?
53:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, they fucking.
53:18 Speaker 00 Explode that house?
53:19 Speaker 01 Yeah. It was like, yeah, I remember when they did that. I was like, it's kind of sad how how they did. They just obliterated.
53:30 Speaker 00 It's like fucking, yeah, it looked like the Godfather.
53:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
53:33 Speaker 00 The whole booth.
53:36 Speaker 00 Think you got him, fellas.
53:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
53:39 Speaker 01 A a removable feast.
53:42 Speaker 00 Yeah, you could be the new, you could don her out in your cop uniform.
53:48 Speaker 02 Is he the is he the Tesla guy?
53:51 Speaker 00 No.
53:51 Speaker 02 No. He's California though, right?
53:54 Speaker 00 I think he was California.
53:55 Speaker 01 He was California. This guy, yeah, you.
53:58 Speaker 02 I know what he looks like. I know. I know about his manifesto. Wasn't he like dumb bitch?
54:02 Speaker 00 Yeah, and I think he shouted out like Chappelle.
54:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, he like watched stand up a lot.
54:07 Speaker 00 Yeah.
54:09 Speaker 01 Well, I'm sure I'm sure a lot of those guys do.
54:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, dude.
54:14 Speaker 01 But cop shirt or yeah, full military. And then you go to, are you gonna like go to public places?
54:24 Speaker 00 He has no idea what, he hasn't thought of any of this. Step one is buy cop uniform.
54:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, where'd you get it?
54:31 Speaker 02 Amy Shanker, she had a shirt and I was like, can I buy that from you? She's like, yeah.
54:36 Speaker 01 That's so funny.
54:37 Speaker 02 Yeah. Fifteen bucks.
54:39 Speaker 00 Fifteen bucks?
54:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, for a nice cop shirt.
54:41 Speaker 00 Nice.
54:41 Speaker 02 Yeah. And it fits good.
54:44 Speaker 01 All right, nice. That's great.
54:45 Speaker 02 Dude, yeah.
54:48 Speaker 01 Cop.
54:48 Speaker 00 Might need to see it.
54:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
54:50 Speaker 00 Why don't we pause it? It's in your car?
54:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:52 Speaker 00 You haven't brought it inside yet?
54:53 Speaker 02 Not yet.
54:54 Speaker 00 You're saving it just in case.
54:55 Speaker 01 That's actually, that's nice too. You can put it like in your back window and like be like, I can park here. I'm a cop.
55:02 Speaker 00 I have a cop shirt.
55:05 Speaker 02 He sees this cop.
55:07 Speaker 01 If you get pulled over, you gotta put it on real fast before the cop gets here.
55:11 Speaker 00 I'm undercover, bro.
55:12 Speaker 01 Yeah. I don't know, you can tell.
55:16 Speaker 02 I was I was just watching Reno nine one one one day and I was like, why don't I do that?
55:20 Speaker 01 Yes.
55:22 Speaker 00 It's a great way to live.
55:23 Speaker 01 It's a good idea.
55:24 Speaker 00 Show going, I'll do the show that I like.
55:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:28 Speaker 00 Oh, I don't need the cameras. Or a script.
55:32 Speaker 00 I'm just gonna start pretending I'm in Reno nine one one.
55:37 Speaker 02 And I am Nisi Nash. No.
55:44 Speaker 00 You're so happy, it's very nice. The dopers, why are you guys in such a good, do you guys hate Matt?
55:48 Speaker 02 No, no.
55:50 Speaker 00 What the fuck, Matt's not here and you guys are all so happy.
55:54 Speaker 02 I don't know.
55:55 Speaker 00 Does he do stuff to you guys?
55:57 Speaker 02 No.
56:02 Speaker 00 That's nice.
56:02 Speaker 01 That's great.
56:06 Speaker 01 It's been a nice couple of days.
56:07 Speaker 00 Yeah.
56:07 Speaker 01 Great.
56:08 Speaker 00 That's good. Not, when you guys came here yesterday, that was, that was a low point for me.
56:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
56:15 Speaker 00 I didn't even come out of my room. They came, they set up all the stuff.
56:20 Speaker 01 I, yeah.
56:20 Speaker 00 From my room, I was like, you can't, I can't, I can't move.
56:25 Speaker 04 When I was leaving, I was like, get well, Shane, he just went, no.
56:31 Speaker 00 It was, it was a tough one. It's cause we drank fucking White Claws. On the way, like White Claws in the van, on the way to the game.
56:38 Speaker 02 Tommy move?
56:39 Speaker 00 It was, yeah.
56:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
56:41 Speaker 00 Every time I drink White Claws, I get very hungover.
56:44 Speaker 04 Tommy got them, it was the surge, was it the blue cans?
56:47 Speaker 00 No, it was White Claws. It wasn't, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it wasn't, it was regular ones.
56:51 Speaker 01 What's the surge?
56:52 Speaker 04 It's just like 8% White Claws.
56:54 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's stronger.
56:55 Speaker 01 Oh god, that's crazy that they make a version that's.
56:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, they doubled the formula.
57:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's evil. It's actually.
57:05 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's going straight to bums.
57:07 Speaker 01 Yes.
57:08 Speaker 00 No one else, no one else is drinking those. The surge is literally being handed the bums.
57:15 Speaker 01 I gotta say, it's, I don't know if they're real, but I kinda like those videos where they, they give the homeless like weapons and shit.
57:25 Speaker 00 Saw the machete one. Saw him unwrap a machete.
57:28 Speaker 01 The guy goes, oh my god, thank you. I could use this.
57:36 Speaker 00 It's probably not the best.
57:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:38 Speaker 00 It's probably a terrible thing.
57:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, I wish you said, I wouldn't know what to do with this.
57:42 Speaker 00 Yeah.
57:43 Speaker 02 I bet he cuts himself first. Like, real bad.
57:46 Speaker 00 He immediately was like swinging it. Like, he was really good. He was nice with the machete right off the bat. He had a shopping cart and the guy comes over and goes, you want 20 bucks or a gift? He goes, gift. Machete, he goes, give me that 20 bucks.
58:03 Speaker 01 Oldest trick in the book. How did you not see that coming?
58:06 Speaker 00 You hand me a sword.
58:12 Speaker 02 The bag's on you, dud.
58:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, the bag is on him. Now you're empty handed and dead.
58:20 Speaker 00 Getting stabbed.
58:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:22 Speaker 00 With a sword in 2026.
58:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, give me those meta glasses, too.
58:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, he took his glasses, too?
58:28 Speaker 01 Nah, but, I mean, I'm sure that's the new Blair Witch. Homeless guy.
58:37 Speaker 01 That's actually a good, actually, yeah.
58:39 Speaker 00 Yeah, didn't, when we watched it, it looks like, like when the cats, like if you put a GoPro on a cat, there's some of these cop videos that are so good.
58:46 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah.
58:50 Speaker 00 Runs into another guy and they're like.
58:57 Speaker 00 I love those cat videos. They're great, dude.
59:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, they're making noises I didn't know cats could make.
59:03 Speaker 00 Give me an example.
59:04 Speaker 02 Like.
59:07 Speaker 02 Like a, uh, uh, they got a real hyper.
59:20 Speaker 00 What else is going on, guys? What else is in the news other than Legos and, uh? Thigh jacking off and.
59:26 Speaker 01 AI.
59:27 Speaker 00 AI that nobody can explain why it's scary?
59:30 Speaker 01 What else? Yeah, what's the new?
59:32 Speaker 02 No jobs.
59:33 Speaker 00 Why no job?
59:34 Speaker 02 Water.
59:34 Speaker 00 Water I've heard about it. I don't like that.
59:36 Speaker 01 Water's scary.
59:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:40 Speaker 04 People's electric costs go up a ton, like if you're near a.
59:44 Speaker 02 Data center.
59:45 Speaker 04 Yeah, if you're near.
59:47 Speaker 00 Struggle with the lights.
59:50 Speaker 00 That's how I feel.
59:52 Speaker 02 Data centers, jobs.
59:55 Speaker 00 He's saying they're jerking their gerbs.
59:57 Speaker 02 They're taking their gerbs and then they're giving it to robots.
1:00:00 Speaker 00 They're giving it to robots.
1:00:01 Speaker 02 They're giving it to the robots. The, how do you say robots with a hard R?
1:00:06 Speaker 04 They, they got robots working on, uh, like manual labor jobs, like, like regular factory, just like pick this up, put this down shit.
1:00:13 Speaker 02 They always had that, though.
1:00:14 Speaker 04 But I mean, like, like, what? Uh, but, uh.
1:00:17 Speaker 02 Now it's automated.
1:00:18 Speaker 04 But yeah, it's like a different, like a different version of it, not just like the arms.
1:00:22 Speaker 00 We lost our factories in the nineties.
1:00:24 Speaker 04 We were just getting them back. We had like Amazon. Still technically a factory.
1:00:29 Speaker 00 Yeah, at least it's a job, yeah.
1:00:30 Speaker 04 Yeah. We're gonna lose that. And they're gonna start dropping off the packages with drones.
1:00:38 Speaker 02 They were never gonna be outside.
1:00:39 Speaker 01 They drop off the package and then they malfunction and kick you in the nuts.
1:00:46 Speaker 00 Fly away.
1:00:48 Speaker 00 The eight year old camera just.
1:00:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
1:00:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, then you get locked out because you're making a face. So it doesn't, yeah.
1:00:57 Speaker 02 Those, those drone drop off videos have to become publicly available because they're gonna be some of the best videos.
1:01:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:05 Speaker 02 So old people like.
1:01:08 Speaker 00 Get your package, you dumb bird.
1:01:11 Speaker 01 Is it really that much cheaper for a drone to drop off all these things? Like, I don't know how they're gonna.
1:01:16 Speaker 00 Long term.
1:01:17 Speaker 01 Oh, sure, yeah.
1:01:18 Speaker 00 After like five years of it, you haven't paid salaries.
1:01:21 Speaker 02 Yeah. And also they're charging us for the electricity. So they're not paying for like the energy it costs to create it or use it.
1:01:28 Speaker 01 To use the drone?
1:01:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:01:31 Speaker 00 They better fucking do something about that.
1:01:34 Speaker 02 We can't, dude. We're in the corporateocracy, dude.
1:01:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, sleepy dummy.
1:01:40 Speaker 01 The only way it will work.
1:01:42 Speaker 02 Sleepy dummies up there, dude. Sleepy dummies farting and everyone's acting like he's not farting. I know he's farting, dude.
1:01:52 Speaker 02 They keep saying it's fake. He's farting.
1:01:56 Speaker 01 Finally, we're getting to the bottom of this.
1:02:00 Speaker 01 What? You're talking about the video of the, the JD Vance?
1:02:06 Speaker 02 There's multiple videos of Donald Trump farting.
1:02:11 Speaker 02 That's what you say, dude.
1:02:13 Speaker 00 Yeah. That's what you say.
1:02:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know. It's funny.
1:02:20 Speaker 00 You would be the perfect guy to investigate. It's like when they hire, uh, DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can. You're one of the best farters in the world.
1:02:31 Speaker 00 Only you can detect if the president's farting.
1:02:33 Speaker 01 It's true. I think you will have to go to DC this summer.
1:02:36 Speaker 00 Yeah, I might have to bring you to the, bring you to the White House.
1:02:42 Speaker 00 I do give you permission to catch a thigh beat in the White House.
1:02:45 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:02:46 Speaker 02 Dude, that's why it's, it's open air, dude. You can't smell the farts in open air.
1:02:50 Speaker 00 You think he put it outside so he could fart?
1:02:52 Speaker 02 I bet you he sits in like a throne, like an emperor or something away from everybody so he could fart.
1:03:00 Speaker 02 I'm just.
1:03:03 Speaker 00 I'm just what?
1:03:06 Speaker 00 I'm just what? What do you think?
1:03:07 Speaker 02 I'm just saying dude, he's farting. He's farting dude.
1:03:10 Speaker 01 He's farting.
1:03:11 Speaker 00 I believe you. I'm with you on this.
1:03:15 Speaker 00 I think Trump's farting.
1:03:16 Speaker 02 They have to be diabolical farts. He eats McDonald's.
1:03:19 Speaker 00 Yeah, those farts must be crazy. AD grabbing McDonald's.
1:03:24 Speaker 02 Fucking the Filet-O-Fish. Not even like a big.
1:03:27 Speaker 00 EB's fart.
1:03:29 Speaker 01 Well, well.
1:03:34 Speaker 00 Well.
1:03:35 Speaker 02 I think they're all farting. Alright.
1:03:36 Speaker 00 No, no, keep going.
1:03:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think they're all farting dude.
1:03:40 Speaker 01 They're all doing it.
1:03:41 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's true. Finally, somebody's saying it.
1:03:44 Speaker 01 Thank God.
1:03:44 Speaker 00 You need to run for office.
1:03:47 Speaker 00 Just be like, I'm the only guy not farting.
1:03:49 Speaker 01 Wow.
1:03:51 Speaker 00 I, yeah, I'll fart.
1:03:55 Speaker 00 I'll tell you about it.
1:04:02 Speaker 01 Tell you what, this guy, yeah, he's actually farting.
1:04:06 Speaker 00 My opponent?
1:04:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
1:04:09 Speaker 02 He's farting right now.
1:04:11 Speaker 00 Fucking stinks up here. He's been farting the whole, he's been farting the entire time.
1:04:19 Speaker 01 That's a good strategy during debate.
1:04:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:04:21 Speaker 01 Just be like, this guy actually, he just stinks.
1:04:24 Speaker 00 It's a really good one.
1:04:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:04:25 Speaker 00 I don't know how no one's done that.
1:04:26 Speaker 01 I know.
1:04:26 Speaker 00 It's mid-debate, you're like, dude, I don't know if you guys smell that? He's been farting the whole time. It's fucking gross. And then you get to watch the other guy, be like, ah, sir, sir, Senator.
1:04:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:04:37 Speaker 00 I did, I have not been farting. I have not been farting. I would have called fucking doorknob. I would have called fucking safety.
1:04:46 Speaker 01 Watch your opponent melt.
1:04:48 Speaker 00 Yeah, hit him with the fucking, ew dude, did you just fart?
1:04:57 Speaker 02 It's right in the middle of a question.
1:04:58 Speaker 00 People kind of spaz. It happens a lot, like any car ride or plane ride. If you're just like, dude, you fart at people? And it's like, no, I did not. And you know I would fucking tell you. I would tell you if I farted. Okay.
1:05:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:05:09 Speaker 00 Just trying to find out who farted.
1:05:13 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:05:16 Speaker 00 The Ocon man was in there, right? Yeah.
1:05:18 Speaker 04 Is he, is he good for not owning up?
1:05:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, sometimes, but Ocon man's a dead giveaway when it's him. He has Trump, Trumpian farts.
1:05:29 Speaker 00 He has farts, you're like, oh my God. I denied one. It was so funny. I've said it before, but there was one time me and O'Connor were living together in Queens. And I was on the couch, he was on the other side. He was like from me to Nate. I farted and within one second, he was across the room and he was like, oh.
1:05:49 Speaker 00 Did you fart? I was like, no.
1:05:53 Speaker 00 It's just me and him, I just lied to him.
1:05:58 Speaker 00 I had to come clean. I was like, I can't believe that hit you. That thing launched across the room.
1:06:05 Speaker 00 It was like a silent fart.
1:06:07 Speaker 04 You'd lie, what if it's just you doing it?
1:06:08 Speaker 00 Yeah, then one second later, he's like, oh.
1:06:13 Speaker 00 He was standing in the doorway.
1:06:18 Speaker 00 Man, I found, I was looking through my phone at old videos from when we lived in New York, me, Tommy and Chris, and it is really funny. The Ocon man was on one in New York, dude. It was crazy.
1:06:30 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:06:30 Speaker 00 He would just wear like giant baggy Rocky shorts. He would wear like American flag gym shorts. Just stand and eat and shit. He was just hammered. I'd come home, they'd be playing fucking virtual video.
1:06:48 Speaker 01 Yeah. Everyone shut the fuck up.
1:06:52 Speaker 00 Chris and Tyler, one would be in the kitchen, one would be in the living room and they'd be screaming at each other. Like, just fucking get the ammo. Fuck. Fuck.
1:07:05 Speaker 00 Shitfaced. Tommy was getting fucking shitfaced.
1:07:11 Speaker 00 God forbid.
1:07:14 Speaker 00 God forbid people love you.
1:07:17 Speaker 00 Oh, you're hammered, dude. Soon as it left his fucking lips, I was like, oh, you're drunk, dude.
1:07:25 Speaker 00 These fucking guys asking for autographs sucks. God forbid people love you.
1:07:30 Speaker 00 Oh, you're drunk. 11 a.m. I was like, you're drunk, dude. That's crazy. You're drunk.
1:07:43 Speaker 00 What else you got? You got one, Nate. Come on.
1:07:46 Speaker 04 Nothing. I'm excited about the game tonight.
1:07:47 Speaker 00 Yeah, the game's gonna be fun.
1:07:48 Speaker 04 That's all I'm... Can't wait to watch it.
1:07:51 Speaker 00 I'm gonna try to give Josh Hart a high five.
1:07:53 Speaker 01 Ooh.
1:07:54 Speaker 00 That's my man.
1:07:56 Speaker 01 My man. Oh, my God. Hitting that at the finals courtside.
1:07:59 Speaker 00 Be nice. I'm not courtside tonight. I'm running out of money.
1:08:05 Speaker 00 I can't keep going to these games.
1:08:11 Speaker 04 That's all I got. I got nothing.
1:08:12 Speaker 00 All right. We've done it. I think people are gonna really enjoy it. La Mer, Charles, what a treat.
1:08:19 Speaker 01 Thank you.
1:08:20 Speaker 00 Thank you, guys.
1:08:20 Speaker 01 Thanks for having me.
1:08:22 Matt McCusker? Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.
1:08:26 Speaker 00 Do it.
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Previous Ep 617 - Irish Good Morning Next Ep 619 - Plus-Sized Problems (feat. Nate Marshall & Lemaire Lee) Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated