Ep 604 - Tyler Gerben (feat. Steve Gerben, Dan Soder, Billy & Spud)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Billy & Spud @ https://www.patreon.com/WARMODE Watch 'TIRES' on Netflix Listen to 'Soder' and 'The Regz' Go See Dan Live @ https://www.dansoder.com/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live Good morning. Happy Friday lol. We got your cast for you. From the Philadelphia Phaction. ShangHQ. We got half Gerbie half Sodie for you. 2+ hour long boy. Hope you all had a good week. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Go to https://www.rugiet.com/DRENCHED to get 20% off ED treatments at Rugiet for a limited time only! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey guys, we're here, we're live. From the fucking, the manosphere. We do have the chessboard out to show everybody. This is the premium subscription.

• 0:11Speaker 00

  We think about, this is what we do, dude.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  You gotta get them into Telegram.

• 0:15Speaker 00

  Me and Spud come down here and sit silently and play chess for hours. Luckily we have multiple girlfriends.

• 0:19Speaker 00

  And then we have threesomes. Me and Spade split with.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  There's all these girls with Spud tattooed on them.

• 0:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, their fucking main people have to be like thirteen year olds. Cause if you like could actually sell multiple chicks. Dudes or? A dude, like thirteen year old boys, like, "Yeah, I want three girlfriends." Yeah. That would be sick. It's like, dude, that's fucking great.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  Oh, you mean trying to sell that to regular dudes? Like adult men that are like, "I can't get one girlfriend." What the fuck are these guys talking about? That's what it means. We were talking about that the other day. The dudes are like, "Don't chase them, dude." Yeah. If you don't chase, they'll come to you. It's like, dude, they won't. Oh, yeah.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  They're not gonna know you exist.

• 0:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, you just go to your job, go back home. Go to your job, go back home. You're gonna be the machinist. I'm never gonna chase Spud's.

• 1:02Speaker 00

  No one knows you live. Yeah.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Dudes are invisible. They kinda have a point, but then the guys that get really sucked into it, like, Louis Lux out on those documentaries. The dude's sitting there, he's like grilling them a little bit, and then the guy's like, "Yeah, well, you know, I probably, my dad, I didn't really, I have a strong male figure." And they're like, "What happened to your dad?" He's like, "He took his own life." And it's like, dude, how's he find these guys?

• 1:23Speaker 01

  Like Louis just rolls up on them.

• 1:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  He's the best, dude. Scientology one is like, that's one of the best documentaries, dude.

• 1:29Speaker 00

  Scientology's gay. You better not get into that. You, Gerben, Gerben actually would. Yeah, you better not.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Ah, dude.

• 1:36Speaker 00

  Who are we talking to? Yeah, we were, you would be a Scientologist. Scientologist? You were, what?

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Gerben, if you give them all your money, it'll make all your dreams come true.

• 1:43Speaker 00

  No. What if they were like, "You will be the next Tom Cruise."

• 1:46Speaker 01

  This is what they do, dude.

• 1:47Speaker 00

  Okay. I know exactly how he operates. He'll be like, "Why I don't give a fuck about this religion." And I'm just doing, good, good as shit.

• 1:55Speaker 00

  I, I did listen to Lawrence Wright's book on.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Going Clear?

• 1:59Speaker 00

  Going Clear, yeah. Yeah, I thought that was very. What'd you think of it? I thought it was great when I read it, or listened to it. You wouldn't consider joining the church? No. Why? Why would I?

• 2:07Speaker 01

  All your money, they'll bone smash you, they'll chew your jaw.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  Oh, they would give me a jaw?

• 2:11Speaker 01

  You'll be the Tom Cat, dude. You'll be the next Maverick.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  Wow, it's tough.

• 2:16Speaker 00

  There's something to hear you would do it in a heartbeat.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're definitely rooster or something.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  So, so you're the guy. Yeah, that's tough. And so I just, and then I, like, what's my obligation?

• 2:28Speaker 01

  You gotta give them all your money.

• 2:29Speaker 02

  Oh, all my money?

• 2:30Speaker 01

  All your money.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 2:31Speaker 00

  It goes beyond that. Your obligation is for billions of years.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, you signed a contract.

• 2:35Speaker 00

  You sign a contract. You gotta live in outer space.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. Alright, then no.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  You don't wanna live in outer space?

• 2:40Speaker 02

  No, cuz the whole point of doing it.

• 2:41Speaker 00

  Impossible?

• 2:41Speaker 02

  What?

• 2:42Speaker 00

  You don't wanna be in fucking MI-13?

• 2:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  MIB. It might be the only technology that can save humanity. And all the rest of the galaxy for millions of years.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  Could be.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Could be.

• 2:54Speaker 00

  I mean, at one point.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  I'm trying to be an SP.

• 2:55Speaker 00

  I like the political answer, though. You don't wanna disparage Scientology. It could be, maybe they're not disparaging.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  I don't think that it is.

• 3:02Speaker 00

  You're gonna disparage Scientology?

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Yes, I just did it.

• 3:04Speaker 00

  Bro. You're never gonna be Tom Cruise. Are you familiar, you're familiar with squirrel busting?

• 3:10Speaker 02

  I don't know what squirrel busting is, no.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  It's when Scientologists get on your ass and they start to fuck your day up. It's called squirrel busting. That's what they do to suppressive people.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Oh. If you guys didn't listen carefully.

• 3:19Speaker 00

  You must be getting squirrel busted, dude. I can't, I don't know where these fuckers are, but my days suck.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, the Scientology, um, once you get into it, though, like, at some point, that could have been Christianity, where everyone's like, dude, the guy fucking made it up. He just wrote a bunch of books and now is it, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, it could be like that. Fucking a thousand years from now, someone would be like, dude. Yeah. Checkmate, dude. Do not say, a thousand years from now, someone could be like, dude, for real. That's not funny to say. That's not your talk. I don't respect pawns, dude. It's chess and it's five day.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  I think I've talked about this before, but when I saw that, uh, sex cult documentary?

• 4:01Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  The XS or whatever it was.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  What, NXIVM?

• 4:04Speaker 02

  NXIVM, yeah. At the end of that, when the women were like outside the jail, he's in jail, and there's like women outside the jail.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Heath Renary.

• 4:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  He's one of, he's kind of tangential to Epstein, gone.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  I was like, I get killing Jesus. Cuz you, there's a point where you're like, alright.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  And then they do it like that, and you're like, they're real?

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Scott, we gotta get rid of this guy. It's just, I mean, granted, cooler heads would prevail.

• 4:31Speaker 00

  I thought you were talking about the Bill O'Reilly.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  More women out here.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  What are you talking about? Why are you talking about killing Jesus?

• 4:38Speaker 02

  I just say, hold on, I was just.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  I'm not trying to be anti Semitic.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  But what you just said was fucked up towards our religion, too soon, too soon.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  And I understand the Jews.

• 4:47Speaker 00

  Fuck the third temple, dude. Fuck all your shit.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm suggesting is you, you're, you know, you've got a, you got a society and then somebody's doing, you know, this and, and it's just like, oh, women are coming into this cult, everybody's getting sick. And then they're, they're outside the jail and you just go, all right, enough.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  You know?

• 5:04Speaker 00

  No, that is true, though. That's exactly actually what happened to Jesus was the Romans were like, all right. The Jews are going nuts, like, fucking kill him. And then they're like, all right, dude, I don't get, I don't give a fuck what you guys talking about. He's like a far outpost.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  And that's the story they told us, dude.

• 5:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. The truth is, not the truth, obviously, I don't, you know, I would never dare to know the truth, but the historical books about it are very funny.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  About Jesus?

• 5:30Speaker 00

  When you think about like so Jerusalem. Fucking Bill O'Reilly.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, killing Jesus.

• 5:36Speaker 00

  It was Bill O'Reilly.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Bill O'Reilly had chat GPT before anyone just fired off 20 bucks.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Killing. Like, oh, it was, uh, it was like Jerusalem was a, it was during, what, what holiday was it? It was a Jewish holiday.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Passover.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  It was, uh.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Talking about like the Last Supper and stuff?

• 5:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Passover.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Like palms and that shit?

• 5:54Speaker 00

  So Jerusalem was just packed, like 10 times more than it usually was. So it was like 150,000 Jewish people. And there was like 50, like 50 Romans in a garrison. That's all they had. And it was already like, it was already a hotbed.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  The Judea, they were getting wild over there, but then.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  The complaint.

• 6:10Speaker 00

  Then they were like, you need to kill him. And they were like, dude, if we don't kill this fucking guy, they're gonna storm their fucking garrison.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 6:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was you guys 100%.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  I get hit with a lot of fake sailors.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  Tried to play Pontius.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  I've seen they're doing passion too.

• 6:24Speaker 00

  I've heard that. I've heard like.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  But I get hit with so many fake.

• 6:26Speaker 00

  Heard it's the comeback.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  The resurrection?

• 6:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Dude, who the fuck knows?

• 6:29Speaker 00

  Comes back and says, what's good?

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was embarrassing.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  It's pretty gets hit with fake.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  I was just talking about Harry Potter. I was just walking around talking about, uh, J K Rowling's hell. It's, I mean, it's not an original. People have covered this, but how base she is, how funny that is.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  She hates lesbians.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  We was just talking about the, the Gringotts, the bank.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:46Speaker 00

  She made goblins. Everyone does. Mitch will just get on Twitter and be like, yo, trans people need to shut the fuck up. Just like, yo, who is this lady? Somebody's so crazy.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  He's selling hard times, dude. Isn't she crazy? I don't think she's crazy.

• 7:00Speaker 00

  No, she's not crazy at all. She's based, dude. She has booked fifty billion dollars. She wrote the most popular book of all time.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  She's like, yeah, she gets on Twitter, she's like, yo, shut the fuck up lesbians.

• 7:13Speaker 00

  I go, no, it's great. She's going off. I mean, probably no one has told her what they're doing a long ass time. If you write all those Potter's in the movies. She's probably, I mean, imagine what she said behind closed doors about chicks. Probably shouldn't have never heard before. You're willing to tweet about trans people? You know what that means? You're saying behind? Holy shit.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Words like wine, dude.

• 7:33Speaker 00

  She could be wine.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  She's getting drunk on wine and hit that tweet. But thank God your parents don't do it.

• 7:38Speaker 00

  Oh, my God, dude. What would your parents be hitting? Oh, hold on, let me tell you. Jesse at Seven's on, everyone tune in. I had a good Phil conversation. I called Phil to be like, yo, you hyped about your boy? Your fucking boy going to war with Iran? You fucking hyped about it? Cause I knew his, I knew his take. I knew what it was gonna be. He was like, Oh, yes, Shane. Would you wanna fucking get blown up? And I was like, by who? He's like, Iran. They can't have a nuke, Shane. And I was like, dude, I'm not gonna get blown up. I might get blown up now. Now there could be a terrorist attack. He was like, yeah, cause fucking that idiot before Trump let all those fucking terrorists into the country. It changes every four years.

• 8:19Speaker 00

  We were rich back then. We were doing really good. Yeah, that's what my parents are, um, big, my mom's big on Jesse. My dad always tries to hit like, I don't watch that shit. And then like I go, he calls me from Florida and he's like, What's the Fox News app? I was like, it's YouTube TV now, dude. You don't need a Fox News app. But how do I know what's on? I was like, it's live TV. It's just on an app. Dude, think how good it must feel.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  What's that shit I said I canceled to Fox One?

• 8:44Speaker 00

  Oh, they kill you with everything.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Dude, they, they sneakily subscribe you to shit now.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  I'd be five hundred and, it's literally cable.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  They're giving us commercials.

• 8:51Speaker 00

  It's my dad getting five hundred dollar Comcast bills.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Dude, now.

• 8:54Speaker 00

  It's what it's for. It's ripping off old people.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Prime does commercials now? Netflix is gonna do commercials?

• 8:59Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  So, it's gonna be eighteen ninety-nine, regular Netflix, you get commercials. So like in the middle of your special, it'll be like commercials.

• 9:05Speaker 00

  No, I know that. I've had this discussion.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  Twenty-five bucks.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  I had to have this discussion.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  What the fuck is that, dude?

• 9:10Speaker 00

  It's crazy. Knights of the Seven Kingdom is made for a TV. I, I did. I said, you can't, I don't wanna do it. There's ads, ever. And then they were like, well, we can have it like presented by a product. So it'd be like, Gillette. Beautiful dogs presented by fucking dude wipes? No. Manscaped.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  See, I do like native ads with your jokes.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  You start doing stand-

• 9:30Speaker 01

  About products.

• 9:32Speaker 00

  You start doing stand up like UFC fighters. Just everything all over your shirt.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:36Speaker 00

  Tied. I should go out shirtless, just in fucking tight. I mean, nuts. Yeah, there- Just in a UFC outfit, tiny penis sticking out, no cup. Did they wear cups? Nub sticking out. UFC, yeah. Do that? I don't know. Dude, if they didn't, dude, you'd see it. I don't know. See it knuckled during a fight? Yeah, it's a small- Tiniere penis during a fight? It's really fucking small, bro. Especially if you're clenched up like that, then it kinda sucks in on itself.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  For too long, your dick's a nub.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's mine's inverted right now. It's part of your fat bussy, yeah. It's part, literally, my bussy is hanging over my penis. Feels like a clit. Well, now I'm thinking about it. I play Super Mario right now on a Super Nintendo cross legged like an autistic kid until my back hurts and then I get up and my dick's like inside my-

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Are you on the carpet?

• 10:21Speaker 00

  No, I'm on a bed. Damn, I wish you were on the carpet. Nah, I can't do that. I wish you were on the carpet. Hit the mom dummy, dude. Chill, dude. Could get my dad pissed off talking about that. True. Fucking mom dummy. Dude, he's not your mayor.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  I didn't know the mayor of, uh, York had a giant house like that.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was crazy. I didn't know the guys who bombed it had a giant house like that. What are we talking about?

• 10:43Speaker 01

  You said real?

• 10:43Speaker 00

  I was afraid to get into politics, but let's, fuck it, I'm calling it up, let's do it.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  You said shit where they turned into anime?

• 10:48Speaker 00

  I regret saying that.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  It was like the liberal-

• 10:50Speaker 00

  The Scientologist or the Christ-

• 10:51Speaker 01

  To go real.

• 10:51Speaker 00

  The Christ thing. Well, you shouldn't have said that. Well, but- That's fine. Yeah, good, good. I'm glad that weighed on your soul. It did weigh on my soul, but not for the reason that you wanted to weigh, but it was just, you know. Go ahead. Talking about killing Christ. No, I was just saying- That's probably the worst thing- He said earlier, earlier in the podcast, he said, I understand why we killed Jesus. No, I said, I understand, I said, if you could all-

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Oh, he tried to eat someone, dummy.

• 11:13Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Well- Oh, yeah, Garvey's, Garvey's fucking Republican. We're not, hold on.

• 11:21Speaker 01

  Are we getting messages from headquarters?

• 11:22Speaker 00

  Garvey's is a five year old square dances. Garvey's is a Fox News- Probably every Jewish final form of Fox News. Fox, Fox News Republican. Oh. Well, it's funny, he took that up. Not a fucking woman.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Uh, but you know, what I was suggesting, you know, was that not

• 11:42Speaker 00

  Of course, you don't have to cover it. Yeah, it's fine. And also they already clipped it. So.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Oh, great.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're good. They're never gonna, they're never gonna, well, he says he feels bad about when he said he understood why they killed Jesus.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Understand why, why somebody would say we should kill.

• 11:55Speaker 00

  That's already being a joke world.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  I get what you were trying to say. We were just regular balls.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  Oh, ball boss.

• 12:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, but they're not gonna put this part in the clip. It's gonna be you doing that.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  You just understand the concept of a nuisance.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  A social.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  A nuisance, Jesus, dude.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  You know, not to say that Jesus, but my, you know, my general understanding of is that at the time, there was also like a lot of messias, air quotes. That.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  This is what they teach you in fucking. This is old Hebrew school. This is Hebrew talk, isn't it?

• 12:26Speaker 02

  I talked about something to a dude.

• 12:27Speaker 00

  There's only one true God and they chose you guys as the chosen ones. I mean.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Good Lord. You know what it was? We went to a, I'll tell you exactly what has triggered.

• 12:37Speaker 00

  What did you do on Birthright when you went?

• 12:39Speaker 02

  You went, didn't go, no.

• 12:40Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Get, that's.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  That's tough. I mean, if you're.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  He could have been swimming in pussy and tell you.

• 12:49Speaker 00

  Also.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Also homosexual. Capital world.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  Jewish necklace.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Where matters.

• 12:55Speaker 00

  We gotta chill.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Well, what's that?

• 12:58Speaker 00

  Nothing.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Oh, um, but what was I gonna say? Oh, yeah. Because we went, we went to this animal expo and then like.

• 13:05Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  I was walking, I need to tell you this one. I was.

• 13:07Speaker 00

  Was that you that grabbed the cat? No.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  No.

• 13:09Speaker 00

  It was just an old guy. Fucking sick.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  And some guy was like, oh, there goes that Jewish guy. So that's sort of like in my head that.

• 13:17Speaker 00

  At you?

• 13:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. To his friend.

• 13:19Speaker 00

  What?

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was just like a thing that.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  I don't know, dude. You don't, yeah, you don't, you're like a daywalker.

• 13:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're not really a Jewish.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  You don't really like.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Well, I think it's just from the show or what, you know, whatever it is.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  My bad.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  No, not, it's not, not your bad. I just, then I play that.

• 13:37Speaker 00

  No, they went to a cat expo. We went to a cat?

• 13:40Speaker 02

  I have an animal.

• 13:41Speaker 00

  I went to a fucking, cats, fuck dude, I went to judging cats.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Are you serious?

• 13:45Speaker 00

  Like they took them out of, yeah, they put them on a table.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  They do that?

• 13:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, you look at the cats. Now, this is like a, it was-

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Like Blue Russians? This is nice.

• 13:51Speaker 00

  It was sick, but, uh, this guy, this guy was walking by with his Maine Coon who, apparently he lost, cuz he was fired up, but, uh-

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:00Speaker 00

  Watch this dude in the front row. He goes for it.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  He went to pet it?

• 14:05Speaker 00

  He grabs his ball, dude.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  The guy's like, you motherfucker.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Dude, show cats, never thought of that in my entire career.

• 14:12Speaker 00

  As soon as I heard about it, I was like, we gotta get there. Look at this shit, dude.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Holy shit, man.

• 14:16Speaker 00

  They got Maine Coons? You gotta get, you gotta-

• 14:18Speaker 01

  How come this isn't on TV like the dog one?

• 14:20Speaker 00

  No one cares.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  Holy shit, that was great.

• 14:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was, uh, it was, it was a wonderful experience. I didn't know there was, uh, Jewish hate at the cat expo.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Who knows if it was hate? It was just like house every year, it's an all time.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  Identified. It's, it's every day anymore. It doesn't stop.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  It doesn't stop.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  But then if I'm the-

• 14:40Speaker 00

  Alright.

• 14:42Speaker 00

  A Jewish. But that Super Bowl ad really actually affected me and I stopped.

• 14:48Speaker 00

  Couple, couple brewskis. So we go, what'd you say, what'd you say about Jesus?

• 14:54Speaker 02

  That is exactly what I was worried about, kidding.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  No, the, the Mom Dami thing where he got bombed.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  Where's Soder?

• 14:59Speaker 00

  The kid- Mom Dami got bombed? Yes, dude. What do you mean? There's these two psycho kids. Yeah, but that wasn't at Mom Dami, that was- That was at his house.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  It was at his house?

• 15:07Speaker 00

  Oh, they were at, but I thought it was at the protesters, at his house. No, over the protesters. No, it was over the pro immigrant protesters, at the anti immigrant protesters.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought it was at his house.

• 15:16Speaker 00

  It was at the front of the script. Sure, but it was at the protester, it was at the, it was at the Patriots.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Whatever, but they're making cool anime like fucking reels of it.

• 15:24Speaker 00

  The animes are starting to work, yeah.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like it.

• 15:26Speaker 00

  But no, the kids who did it, they have, they live in like a five bedroom, four bath house in Bucks County, it's nice as shit, it's all that. It was crazy.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  What happened?

• 15:33Speaker 00

  Their house is crazy.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  The guy that threw the bomb?

• 15:36Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  It always is like that.

• 15:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, the Luigi guy.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  It's never broke, guys doing political stuff.

• 15:40Speaker 00

  Obviously, dude, they can't get to New York.

• 15:45Speaker 00

  You'd have to give them G's.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  I always saw that. I was like, why aren't these guys at work?

• 15:49Speaker 00

  Wait, you thought the Muslim terrorists were throwing that at? His house. Manda?

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  Oh, whatever. No, they, I think they were throwing it at a.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  Stuff goes in and I figure, I make it up.

• 16:00Speaker 00

  I don't even know if he's a white nationalist. Yeah, I don't know anything. Start kind of just going with what I'm feeling lately. I actually, I kind of agree with that. Make, uh, make shit up. Yeah, I like it. Disinfo is kind of. I just keep telling people I'm gonna open the straight up for a moose. Anytime someone's like, they're closing the straight and the oil's going out, I'm gonna open it. I'm going over there and I'm opening it and they go, gas is gonna be a hundred thirty dollars a barrel. I go, no, it's not.

• 16:22Speaker 00

  Oil's a hundred thirty this way. Yeah, no, it's not.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  You gotta do that with the Trump I did.

• 16:25Speaker 00

  Forty dollars now. Oh, yeah. That's gonna be good.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  You gotta do that?

• 16:28Speaker 00

  Oh, nice. Start making Trump.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  They were doing the Biden I did that. I mean.

• 16:32Speaker 00

  Dude, my dad was doing like he was sixteen years old awhile. Oh, he was doing it. Your dad was. He got like fifty of them. It was amazing.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude.

• 16:40Speaker 00

  They're in his whip. They're all over the place. On his dashboard, on his dash in his.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  We're on their little go-kart.

• 16:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, on his go-kart, on the dash, on like the fuel, there's Biden pointing, I did that. You know how awesome that feels? If you're getting this fucking assholes making my gas expensive. They just made a sticker. My dad said he went by the, uh, I mean, they're funny as shit. It's amazing.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  You'll never feel like that, you know?

• 17:03Speaker 00

  I wish I had a side that, like, I wish I could pick a side that large. I wish I could just buy in, no matter what.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  When I ordered those white rabbits stickers, I was, I was on drugs.

• 17:13Speaker 00

  My dad. You're so good, dude. It'd be so nice to be like, I'm right. Oh, yeah.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it feels good.

• 17:17Speaker 00

  Figured it out. The guy I listened to actually is right about this, believe me. But he went by the ICE protest or the No Kings or whatever, and it's all old people too. So like all the old people in Swarthmore are doing like No Kings protests. The No Kings was definitely for the gees. My dad drives by in a Nissan Pathfinder that he got. It's a ninety-eight Pathfinder he bought for like three G's and he looks at all and just starts to hit them.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  It's like a oh eight.

• 17:39Speaker 00

  He hit the T for Trump. He's got an old one.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, he just, he's like, I just went like this to him. Like, that's sick, dude. They must've been pissed.

• 17:45Speaker 01

  Dude, we watched a great like little conspiracy reel where it was like they got rid of all the cars when they did cash for clunkers. All that was to like

• 17:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, wasn't it? No, that's cash for kids.

• 17:56Speaker 00

  So it's straight to

• 17:58Speaker 01

  Pennsylvania.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  What are you not allowed to know that? No, I'm just saying, careful. Are we allowed to know that?

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Cash for kids is fucking nuts. Nobody talks about that.

• 18:05Speaker 00

  Shame to live here. Hold on, are we allowed to talk about cash for kids?

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:08Speaker 00

  Cash for, wait, cars for kids.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  That's good central PA lore.

• 18:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. What, cars for kids?

• 18:13Speaker 01

  Cash for kids.

• 18:14Speaker 00

  Straight to Israel. I'm unfamiliar. Oh, yeah, sure.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  They had like a prison system thing going on.

• 18:20Speaker 00

  I missed that. I am unfamiliar. No, the cash for clunker shit, they like, there was a good ass video about how they use it to just get rid of every reliable whip.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  We had reached like such a peak in analog engines. Then they were like, no, digital ones with kill switches.

• 18:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. OnStar.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  But how are we gonna get rid of all these awesome cars? Pull it off. But it was actually, we debunked it in real time. Only 680,000 cars got cashed in, so it didn't really have an effect.

• 18:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's not much. Yeah, I debunked it, so jury's still out.

• 18:50Speaker 03

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• 20:17Speaker 01

  I'm afraid of AI.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  I don't trust it. I'm.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  I know, I know. Like Joan, that Joan's, uh, Duncan Trussell.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  That was very good.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  The beginning of that, that, you know, that's how we get plugged into the matrix, dude. At the end of that, we're plugged in like.

• 20:28Speaker 00

  I still don't give a fuck about AI. Video games aren't that good yet.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  Well, no.

• 20:32Speaker 00

  Once video games get real good, then I'll go, damn, AI is out of control.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  And AI can't even find an old.

• 20:38Speaker 00

  Fine, dude.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Me and Bill are looking for an old meme.

• 20:40Speaker 00

  I need better graphics.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm trying to find a real.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  We're finding an old meme from like 2016, maybe.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  What was it? 2011?

• 20:47Speaker 01

  No, it was when, oh, it was, yeah, it's old meme, yeah.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  It's a meme of, uh, George Bush.

• 20:52Speaker 00

  I swear to God, I don't know what's happening.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 20:55Speaker 00

  In conversation right now.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, are we fucking this up?

• 20:57Speaker 00

  Last 10 minutes. No, I don't give a fuck. It's probably funny. It's probably funny. You talk about cash for.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  Trust AI did come.

• 21:06Speaker 00

  I did like that.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  There's a meme that we're looking for. So Billy's like, dude, Rogan's got perplexity. Get this. Uh, we're looking for this meme of.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  You talking about you name drop Rogan like that?

• 21:17Speaker 02

  No, I was talking.

• 21:17Speaker 00

  It's like, dude, my brother was on Rogan, dude. I can get us in touch with perplexity. My brother did Rogan, dude. I know Rogan.

• 21:23Speaker 02

  Spain has $17 perplexity. And then I was like, dude, it's like all of them in one, cause he was using Grok and Grok is kinda ass.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, Grok sucks.

• 21:30Speaker 02

  And then he started using perplexity. That's.

• 21:32Speaker 00

  I'm investing in AI in defense contracts right now. That's good.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  But it's George Bush throwing the football.

• 21:38Speaker 00

  AI.

• 21:40Speaker 02

  The meme, you've definitely seen it. It's a meme of George Bush handing off a football.

• 21:44Speaker 00

  Straight or hood loses open, dude. I just opened it. What?

• 21:47Speaker 02

  It's a meme of George Bush handing a football off to Obama in a poppy.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  In a poppy field.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  And like Osama bin Laden's in the background.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  And there's also the, the skies are cool.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  Who made this?

• 21:57Speaker 02

  It's an old meme.

• 21:58Speaker 00

  Oh. I'm like the king of memes. But perplexed. You're getting skinny. Pull ups, bro. Yeah, you look. Pull ups over and over and over. You look like a fucking tier one operator. He's trying to do a handstand pushups. Ten hands. I know, I heard he does them at the gym. I can do eight pushups. That's good. Yo, Gerby's looked like a tier one operator today. Shredded. Went to the gun range. That's right, we went to the gun range? He, uh, the whole time, I'm like, you're gonna love it. He never fired a gun. I was like, it's so sick, you're gonna love it. Soon as we get in there, a couple loud pops from down the range, he was like.

• 22:29Speaker 00

  Oh shit, he hates it. Called it an airstrike? Yeah, he called it the Cobble airstrike. Yeah. He said, oh god, they're in here, blow it up.

• 22:37Speaker 00

  I found them. Bombs without a siren? Yeah, I, I, I clamped up. I didn't think I was gonna clamp up and, uh. When I shut me in walks, hold you, brother. No, he sent some leaflets to the range first.

• 22:50Speaker 00

  He said, I'm gonna blow this up tomorrow, so everyone clear out.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  No, it is scary, dude. Fucking go to the range, it's like, it's tense. It is, it's very, especially right when you get in there. Oh, yeah. Like, the first, like, five, 10 minutes, going in there, you're like, holy shit, I'm a pussy, dude, I'm so scared. And then, our, our, our, the guy giving us all the guns and showing us how to do everything was, seemed like a tier one operator, dude. He's like, alright, this is what you do, you flip this, you fucking slap this, then you're good to go, okay? Yeah, yeah, if I've yelled at him, I said, I don't know what single thing you just said to me. Does a machine gun.

• 23:23Speaker 00

  I'm like, so you gotta fucking start over, dude. Yeah. He's like, this is your workplace, alright, this is your fucking workspace, now you fucking do this. Do they coach the, coach you there, like? Yeah. Uh, a little, I, I think. He was, I'll be honest, that guy was a little fast and loose. I liked him, he was, but. Yeah, I think it was the nature of our group. Yeah. I, I would have preferred, potentially, not, not, not, not, you know, again, throwing shade, he was the awesome. He was the man, you were just the scary. I was scared, so I think I wanted somebody to be like. He started yelling at him while he's giving him the instructions. You want somebody to hold the gun behind you like this? Honestly, the first one, yes. Cause he fired it, he fired one round, it had a fucking silencer on it and no kick. It was literally the gun I have. It's literally just. What, a handgun? No, it's a. Fucking saw rifle.

• 24:08Speaker 00

  It's like a, it's a carbine that fires a fucking nine millimeter, so it's against your shoulder. Gun bullet? Yes, so it, it doesn't move. Do you, the shotgun? He fired it once. Backs wild. He fired one round and was just like, okay.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  And then, cause he was, then I was like, well, let me just do something.

• 24:23Speaker 00

  This isn't for me.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Let me just do something like smaller with a handgun. So he had a Glock nine. I think that's what it's called. Whatever the police use.

• 24:30Speaker 00

  Handgun was, it's way worse than that.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Way worse. So he like fired it and I was, I told you guys beforehand, but like, I wasn't even expecting a shell to come out that fast. And it's just like the immediate violence, the noise, and then the shell coming out. I was like, no.

• 24:44Speaker 00

  And then he just stood.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  I just stood back. I tried to be a team player and take video. I was just like.

• 24:50Speaker 00

  I know.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  I felt like it was a little ride that I wanted to get off of.

• 24:52Speaker 00

  The, uh, the best was just, so he's got, I thought it was the headphones and then I realized you were actually screaming at the guy. I thought, I was like, maybe he thinks he's, he's talking, he's talking too loud because of the headphones. No, he was yelling. The guy was like, all right, you fucking do this. Here you go. And he was like, I didn't understand anything to be said. You're gonna have to start over.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  No, no, I didn't say, I didn't say it like that. And I was like, yeah, I had a smile on my face. But then, so, so then they wheeled in a.

• 25:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, belt.

• 25:17Speaker 02

  Belt?

• 25:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  Loaded, uh, machine gun, a belt fed machine gun. And even the guy that brought it in was like, this is a once in a lifetime thing to shoot.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  So then I watched everybody else do it and I was like.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Is that a fifty cal?

• 25:29Speaker 00

  No.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 25:29Speaker 00

  But it was, uh, it was sick.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:32Speaker 00

  But Gerbys, it was nice to watch Gerbys muster the courage. And he did it. He, he fired one bullet. He fired one bullet from the first gun.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 00

  And then stood in the back the entire time. It was like, this just.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  You could've stayed a pussy the whole time.

• 25:43Speaker 00

  And then a machine gun came out and he fucking did it. It was pretty sick.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  That's awesome.

• 25:47Speaker 00

  Proud of you, Gerbys.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Thanks, dude. And, uh.

• 25:49Speaker 00

  How about that adrenaline?

• 25:50Speaker 02

  Uh, that's why I said, like, the moment I came off, I was like, ah.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're like, where's the schools?

• 25:57Speaker 00

  I know what's.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  They're under the hospitals. You don't understand.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  What is this?

• 26:06Speaker 00

  It's gonna be easy. It's a layup. Bring a Jewish guy to a gun range, start shooting the floor. Oh, you know, the target's right there. He's like, well, there's other targets. There's some.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  I hate to say it.

• 26:17Speaker 00

  What?

• 26:17Speaker 02

  But great, you know, another enjoyment, lady. If she did shoot the ceiling.

• 26:22Speaker 00

  Oh, she was hitting everything. Especially before we go in. She's like, I'm good at everything. I'm such a good shoot, like a shot.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 00

  She gets in there, hits the fucking wall. They're like, dude, you cannot hit the wall.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  The tray.

• 26:33Speaker 00

  There's ricochets. You cannot hit the wall.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Dude, the one time his brother took me, he was like, dude, this is gonna be awesome. We rolled in, there was a guy on a date. It was like a snow bunny, Black Panther party situation. And I was like, yo. I I was like scared. This guy had like dreads down here and he was like waving like a fucking AR-15 type thing around. This is at Ethan Spring Garden.

• 26:54Speaker 00

  That fired me up though.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  Inner city of a small room.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  That dude domed someone in COVID.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Dude, and I was like, we all have bullets.

• 27:01Speaker 00

  Oh, wait, that guy killed someone?

• 27:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, they tried to break into his fucking spot. I think it's that one or more in that area. They fucking come in and he's just sitting there, dude, like.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  Canada.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Waiting on this, bro.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  He's like, oh, this is.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  Finally.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  Glock, it pops.

• 27:14Speaker 02

  Dudes die.

• 27:15Speaker 00

  That guy's the man.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, standing ground.

• 27:17Speaker 00

  Also, there's nothing.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  Living all your whole life for that moment.

• 27:20Speaker 00

  Nothing makes me happier than seeing black dudes and white dudes together at the range, dude.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  I was scared though. I was like, yeah.

• 27:25Speaker 00

  You go, oh, word, word. This is it. Two A-boys getting together?

• 27:30Speaker 01

  I didn't realize it was, uh, so expensive though. The ammo is wild.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  A lot of money. It's not good. They treated us really good. That was awesome.

• 27:37Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, that place is awesome. Uh, but yeah, Gerby's.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  Are you gonna purchase?

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Uh, at some point, yeah.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go back to, I'm gonna shoot the Glock nine, like that I.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  That's fun to shoot.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was one that after the machine gun, that felt like I got my cherry popped enough.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  Fucking Bond's gun, PB7?

• 27:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  Get a PB7, dude.

• 27:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, you should. Oh, you see that smile, my pretty boy?

• 28:00Speaker 01

  It's gold, man, bro.

• 28:01Speaker 00

  This is what I'll say about.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  The side tops will get his answer. That shit.

• 28:04Speaker 00

  It'll be, it'll be fun.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  You'll be the next Bond.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  Second of a smile.

• 28:08Speaker 00

  Piece of shit.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Look at him in a tux, dude.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  You should go outside instead, though. I feel that would calm me down.

• 28:13Speaker 00

  That's what I was saying. Outdoor gun ranges are a lot better.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Okay, but that gun range was cool and they had like, they had this whole smoking section. It was like basically a warehouse. Yeah.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  I wanna see Gerby.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Organic fireplace.

• 28:24Speaker 00

  Easily the best indoor range I've ever seen.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  You know, like the outdoor thing where they have.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  Oh, yes.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  Mainline armor?

• 28:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Keanu Reeves shit.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  He's nice. Shane did that.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Dude, John Wick.

• 28:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, I go there.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  If John Wick was one movie, all four movies, if that was one movie, it'd be the best movie ever.

• 28:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, it would. I agree. The one John Wick's like a Dodge Challenger commercial.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  I watched them all at one, like all at once, one night. And I was like, dude, I wish that was just one movie.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  The first John Wick, I just watched randomly. Like, no one was talking about it. It was like right when it came out.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Fuck, great, dude.

• 28:55Speaker 00

  And I was sitting there watching. I was like, let's see this piece of shit movie. Keanu Reeves' action movie, fucking dog shit. Halfway through, I was like, this might be the best movie I've ever seen.

• 29:03Speaker 01

  Really? I haven't seen it all tonight.

• 29:04Speaker 00

  I watched it. It was when I lived in Conchock and then I brought Matt over and I was like, bro, check this out. Wait till you see this.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  Dude, Matt saw it with, like, early with?

• 29:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, he saw it with me, like, immediately. And then, and then he was like, shit sucks. And I was like, I swear to God, it's a hot. I watched it like five times.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 29:19Speaker 00

  Getting like weak. I was like just getting bros over going, dude, wait till you see this shit.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  That, and these flick I sent you is, dude.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  Is it real?

• 29:26Speaker 01

  Utterly humiliating. Animal, what's it called?

• 29:28Speaker 00

  Animal Kingdom.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  Animal Kingdom. Dude, it's star studded and it's real, it's like a quiet, like, fucking gangster movie. It's nice. Australian gangster.

• 29:36Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

• 29:38Speaker 00

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• 29:39Matt McCusker?

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• 29:56Matt McCusker?

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• 30:15Speaker 00

  Incredible.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Australian crime family, nice.

• 30:18Speaker 00

  I got one for you. You're gonna like this. Gerbys has a new theory he just hit me with. You think we're like Fight Club or something? That's right. Yeah, that, uh, like I'm his Tyler Durden. He thinks he's Tyler Durden. Well, that I'm his Tyler Durden. He thinks he's Brad Pitt, Tyler.

• 30:31Speaker 01

  All right, hold on. I gotta, I gotta, like, actually drop this for a minute.

• 30:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, you gotta wait till you hear this. You're the dude.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  You're Ed Norton?

• 30:36Speaker 00

  No, he's Ed Norton.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  You're Ed Norton?

• 30:38Speaker 00

  It's just the reverse. Whoa. Yes. Whoa, dude. Yes. That's one. Or all the things.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Gerbys.

• 30:44Speaker 00

  All the things that he represses. He thinks I'm repressing.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  So Shane on the diverse.

• 30:51Speaker 00

  Where cowboy hat?

• 30:51Speaker 02

  Let's just get our clothes tailored.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  But Gerb.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Let's get hair.

• 30:54Speaker 01

  Gerbs, listen. So Shane is the guy looking at.

• 30:57Speaker 00

  We're not getting hair.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  So Shane's the.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Let's get hair.

• 30:59Speaker 00

  We're wearing hats until we're bald just right.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  So you're saying Shane's the guy that's looking at the NPC Ikea catalog, not knowing what to do?

• 31:06Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  But you're the guy that's living in a house with Bellatrix with strings?

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, basically, I'm like, those will be the characters, but he's not looking at Ikea catalogs. He's like watching football and all that stuff.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  Meanwhile, I.

• 31:20Speaker 00

  So you've got.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  He's sitting on a plane and I'm going, that shirt would look a lot better if you got it tailored. And he's like this and the other.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  You're James Bond, bro.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  And then.

• 31:27Speaker 00

  The guy who just had a panic attack at the gun range.

• 31:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  That's it. He's got a partner, Tyler, during him.

• 31:38Speaker 00

  So he thinks Chester's gonna implode.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  Can Billy be meatloaf?

• 31:44Speaker 00

  He thinks I'm repressing things because he says stuff like, oh, Jolene's is the cutest date spot.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Don't say cutest.

• 31:51Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  I say cute. It's a cute, it's a cute.

• 31:54Speaker 00

  Somebody will be like, what about this bar? He goes, oh, that's such a cute date spot. I heard him say that and I said.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  Now, why are you doing that with your eyes?

• 32:00Speaker 00

  Shut the fuck up.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  What's wrong with, because we're straight.

• 32:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're all straight.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  What's right?

• 32:04Speaker 00

  You don't say a cute date spot.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Hey, Siri, what does the word cute mean, bro?

• 32:08Speaker 00

  I think you're gonna be.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  This is so Jewish.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Appealing in a pretty.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  Dang it.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Who uses? Hey, I'll read it.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  It's gonna start.

• 32:20Speaker 00

  Don't got your cheaters?

• 32:21Speaker 02

  Still listening to me?

• 32:22Speaker 00

  Still listening to me? Fucking still listening to me.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  He was like, I'm peeling in a pretty or something.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, you say like babe and shit, which makes me uncomfortable. Sexy babe. That, that.

• 32:32Speaker 01

  Wait, saying babe to dudes?

• 32:33Speaker 00

  To girls. No.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, I don't know. If you're like a Chad, James Bond.

• 32:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, still. True. I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  You have to.

• 32:42Speaker 00

  That make me.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  You have to.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Because you're like, bro, this dude's got this kind, in your head, I wish I could.

• 32:48Speaker 00

  I agree.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Drop that.

• 32:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  Drop the bat?

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, the. Machismo. He's trying to wear cowboy hats and cowboy bits. He does.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  Are you fucking for real?

• 32:57Speaker 00

  He works out in a cowboy hat and a fucking wife beater in his gym. I only know one other guy that does it.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Dude, are you the Magic Mike?

• 33:05Speaker 00

  He listens to Shaboozie while he does it.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  I don't know what Shaboozie is.

• 33:08Speaker 00

  Someone pull me up a double shot of whiskey. And he does, but he can rip pull ups. Yeah.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  I mean, you're a jack.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Dude, do you want to be, do you want to be a millionaire?

• 33:16Speaker 00

  He is a millionaire.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Oh, you are? She kind of puts you over that.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Reels of that.

• 33:22Speaker 00

  Damn. Push you over the edge. How are you doing?

• 33:26Speaker 01

  Dude, reels of him in cowboy gear doing pull ups would be great.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  There's only one other dude I know who wears a cowboy hat and works out.

• 33:32Speaker 02

  Hold on, it's, I don't do it all the time.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  If you did it once.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  It's fucking insane, dude.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  It's fucking insane.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  It is crazy.

• 33:40Speaker 00

  Hold on.

• 33:40Speaker 02

  I don't care.

• 33:41Speaker 00

  I'm not trying to attack you. I swear to God.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  Attack me. I don't care.

• 33:43Speaker 00

  No, I don't want to attack you because I don't want to attack.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  I'm never gonna get over this Tyler Dern thing.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  I know, I was hoping, I was so excited, but you guys are the only, like, you're a goose, I'm Maverick.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  You guys are. Dude, I'm fucking Maverick, bro.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  You two.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  You're too big.

• 33:58Speaker 00

  You two are literally the only ones other than me that'll go, Gerben, that's nuts. He, he, me and him are always around people that are a part of our show, so it's all like. Theater, no, not necessarily yes man, but just theater people.

• 34:11Speaker 02

  Ah, yeah.

• 34:11Speaker 00

  So like, he'll be like.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Express.

• 34:13Speaker 00

  Well, it was a cute little date spot and I'm like, yeah, that's fucking gay. You call it cute. And they're like.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Why?

• 34:18Speaker 00

  He'll look at like a lady that works there and be like, I don't think it's weird to say, uh, cute date spot. And they're always like.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  Dude, I look right at you and I go, it's fucking cute. What are you gonna do about it?

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Just how guys talk in a tire shop.

• 34:30Speaker 00

  He's done it again.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  When you went on Schultz's podcast, you're like, dude, the hardest thing to do is sing in front of your boys and they all burst it out singing in harmony. I was like, okay.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  My boy will do it.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  He'll sing, bro. I know, I.

• 34:41Speaker 00

  He would in that.

• 34:42Speaker 02

  Play the tape back. I tried really hard not to sing. I said, guys, you can't, you know?

• 34:46Speaker 00

  In that scenario, you would enjoy, yeah.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, with it.

• 34:49Speaker 00

  It was, I admit, in that scenario, it was pretty fun.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Well, I tried not to do it.

• 34:52Speaker 00

  Nothing wrong with saying it.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Uh, okay.

• 34:57Speaker 02

  But uh.

• 34:57Speaker 00

  You gotta, you, uh, dude, there's so much about Gerben you need to know.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  I mean, dude, we used to have this thing.

• 35:02Speaker 00

  You gotta hear his music in his car.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  We used to have this thing for, uh, church. Fuck does it matter? What, listen, e- everybody.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  No, it's just fun, dude, I like it.

• 35:10Speaker 02

  No, no, no, I'm not gonna go with you.

• 35:12Speaker 00

  Pirates of the Caribbean.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  But like, uh.

• 35:15Speaker 00

  That's the least, that's the least gay thing, dude.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  Like a score or?

• 35:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's Hans Zimmer.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  That's cool, yeah.

• 35:19Speaker 00

  No, no, he's gonna hit Flo Rida, he's gonna hit, bro. It's like devastating.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Are you YouTube Music or Spotify? Spotify. What'd you say? No.

• 35:30Speaker 00

  Oh, you're not, uh.

• 35:32Speaker 02

  Because I. Show me who you are. Oh, because I like, I, I'm a real loosey goosey with the likes. What's that? I'm loosey goosey with the likes.

• 35:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, he'll like a song, yeah.

• 35:42Speaker 02

  Do you make playlists, though? Do I make playlists? So that's a yes?

• 35:46Speaker 00

  Of course, there's nothing wrong with making playlists. So you don't even know what's gay or not at this point. It's all blurred together.

• 35:52Speaker 02

  Hold on.

• 35:52Speaker 00

  Make a beer, Shane's about to point at me, dude.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  No, I'll point at you. Because, no, yeah, see, you are just one.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  I feel like a senator gets yelled at by a pan.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  It's just one man having an argument with himself here, dude. There is no time to argue. This is his inner talk. The sixth point.

• 36:09Speaker 00

  I know, I'm gonna have two more beers, you guys are gonna be gone. I'm gonna be down here in the dargah. Shit. I made that whole thing up, I'm still my beer.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  Googling outfits and stuff.

• 36:18Speaker 00

  You think I'm Googling outfits?

• 36:20Speaker 02

  Probably, it's probably happened.

• 36:21Speaker 00

  You probably Googled Spade, dude, dude. You seen Terrence Howard, PBD? No. Spade sent me the clip of Terrence Howard talking to PBD and he was like, dude, it's just fucked up, like, and, and Game of Thrones, seriously, and, uh, the dude started having sex and like, everyone just started searching like incest porn and stuff. It was like. Really? That was just you, bro. You started searching incest porn. Well, incest porn rocks. But are you looking up outfits?

• 36:49Speaker 02

  You're making me wanna rewatch Psych, though. So we, uh, we had a development, uh, like a size development in my, uh, what?

• 36:55Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:56Speaker 02

  Size of them?

• 36:57Speaker 00

  My boys are large, yeah.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, so the shirt that I'm wearing this season.

• 37:02Speaker 00

  No, Gerben is jacked.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  I still have like that tiny, tiny frame, but I was like, whatever the shirt is. You're not looks maxing, you're not life maxing, and then you're nothing, so.

• 37:14Speaker 02

  There's that. Well, you know, I like to.

• 37:16Speaker 00

  Spud versus Gervins. The meeting of the minds, dude, this is a fucking battle. Spud versus Gerben, the two most different people I've ever met.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  Combined IQ at sixty.

• 37:28Speaker 00

  Just different, different versions of autism. You're not autistic, I'm sorry, I can see you're the most visible.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  No, I was even real. You know what I was, I was, I was still clocking you. You're way smarter than I am.

• 37:44Speaker 00

  I knew that, I saw your face on the one sixty IQ and I felt bad because I don't think you're dumb. He said it, obviously, but.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  I think I'm dumb.

• 37:51Speaker 00

  Lately, you've been saying it a lot, and I don't think you're dumb.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  What, you've been saying, you've been saying you are dumb yourself? Yeah, I think I'm smart in like, certain ways that matter, but not, not book smart. What is your area of intelligence? Uh, like, social.

• 38:07Speaker 00

  I think you're very good at communicating.

• 38:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're not afraid to, you're not afraid to tell you, tell people exactly how you feel.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  In a, in a judge I just.

• 38:17Speaker 00

  Dumb brute.

• 38:19Speaker 00

  Uh, no, you're smart, you just, I'm surprised it took you so long to find out you were dumb, though.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:25Speaker 00

  I hit that in like, uh, I was probably twenty, high school, you know what I mean? No, no, I think, no, I waited, I was probably like thirty.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  You thought you were smart. We're just talking about this, we're like, we're not accepted at any colleges. You think like, what? I can figure this out. And there's an answer to be had, and like, I'll just figure it out.

• 38:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think it's just getting older, you go, actually, I don't fucking know anything.

• 38:45Speaker 02

  Right.

• 38:46Speaker 00

  I mean, nothing's gonna solve, nothing's gonna ever be fixed. Whatever.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Dude, I'm so fucking.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  Fuck it, I'll get some beers and be racist.

• 38:56Speaker 00

  I'm so retarded that I was like, sitting in my house, like, probably like two thousand and twenty-one, and I was like,

• 39:03Speaker 00

  I can wake up whenever I want, go to sleep whenever I want, I don't even have to check in with anything with my mom.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  I'll know that.

• 39:10Speaker 00

  And I just get to sleep. When I was in high school, dude, it was like Phase Two, the dumbest classes, I was a senior, I had freshmen in my classes, like, yeah, whatever.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  Like, ah, whatever. It's like, fucking retard.

• 39:22Speaker 00

  You dumb as shit? Yeah, fuck yeah.

• 39:26Speaker 00

  Not even try to hide that.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Schools are nuts.

• 39:28Speaker 00

  You're smart.

• 39:29Speaker 01

  That must have been nuts for the freshmen that are like, that guy's a senior.

• 39:32Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, and Billy was huge. It was like, think of a freshman. The same size. You'd be like- I was like 208. Dude, think of being a freshman and being in the class next to him like, mm. Yeah.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Far.

• 39:45Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  You want to fuck me up? Aye. Dude, you want to fuck you up? We used to break our teachers' balls into oblivion, dude, and they're all like my age now.

• 39:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Or younger.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:55Speaker 01

  Which is nuts, because like seventeen year olds are psyopping them into like walking out in the hallway and like taking breathers.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  It's fucking nuts.

• 40:03Speaker 00

  I get it. Dude, I had a teacher- I went to a pizza shop this week and there's like five teenagers in there. They're like, yo, can we- Ah. It's like, a couple of them were black.

• 40:14Speaker 00

  It was black teens and they were, they were, they were nice fellows, but- Just to paint a picture. Soon as I walked in, I was like, oh, god. And then they're like, yo, can we get a picture? And we're like, come on, you- Taking like pictures, and then they all sat down and started laughing. Yeah. And I was just sitting there waiting for my pie. Oh, brutal. I think they're making fun of me. They're literally making fun of me after they just asked for pictures. They got me mocked.

• 40:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, there was like, it was, it was math where the young kids were, so they were like super smart freshmen in my math classes. Yeah, sure. But like- I mean, the freshmen were fucking geniuses. I mean, seriously, low phase algebra.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  Oh, you're killing me with this.

• 40:54Speaker 00

  I mean, seriously.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  This is like a Tyler Turner.

• 40:57Speaker 00

  You are, I mean Tyler, dude, I mean, dude, I, I thought I was stoned, like, I wouldn't do fucking shit in school. They must be smart as hell.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  They're in Algebra I, dude, they're freshmen.

• 41:09Speaker 00

  They're eighth graders, must be fucking smart.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  Maybe they're Algebra II, maybe, dude.

• 41:13Speaker 00

  Nah, by that time, we were in geometry, brother.

• 41:17Speaker 00

  I would fuck up geometry. But you're not dumb at all. I know, I just suck cock at math and I would. I cannot do math myself. He's just studying. Yeah. They would tell me it's time. Well, that tossed you in the eighth grade class. Oh, phase one. No, freshman year, there's just. For some reason, you're getting like defensive about it. No, I'm trying to explain to you the situation.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  I'm not defensive, I'm trying to explain to you the situation. Freshman year, there was a phase one.

• 41:45Speaker 00

  Senior. Dude, it was tough. My one boy, my one boy was dumb as shit with me and then he got on Adderall and started passing everything. Took Adderall. Dude, me and my one boy were like sixty-five, seventies every class or every test. This motherfucker gets on Adderall, starts getting eighty-fives.

• 42:04Speaker 00

  I was like, bro, how are you figuring this out? He's like, I'm studying. He's like, how do you have that? I would go home, look at this shit and be like, fuck. Oh, man. Bill, you are the fucking funniest. I'm not getting defensive, I'm trying to explain to you the situation. I'm trying to literally show you how stupid this was. I was in phase one, they get rid of it freshman year because it's a college.

• 42:25Speaker 05

  Do you understand what you're talking about?

• 42:29Speaker 05

  What you saying? Who knows what phase one is?

• 42:35Speaker 05

  I'm sorry.

• 42:37Speaker 00

  Stranded by geniuses.

• 42:43Speaker 00

  I'm situational. My ass is in the jackpot. I had to have a two-seven. He loves my ass is in the jackpot. I think right now it's the clef of all time. Did you put it in season two? I don't know if it made it. He's, he like saw that clip and was like, I need to say my ass is in the jackpot. Yeah, that's nice. He said it like five, he said it like five, five different scenes.

• 43:06Speaker 00

  He's a new slang, new slang. I like that. Oh, man. I was, I was so bad at math when I went to Drexel that the math class that I was in. If you're that bad at math, you don't go to Drexel, bro. Yeah. You go to Delaware County Community College and get president's lists because it's the third time you took out for one. I'll tell you what, I failed statistics in college. Dude. Three times. And then, I'm talking at three different universities. Finally, I hit Harrisburg Area Community College and I was like, I gotta make some changes. Shitting on African dudes. Have no idea what's going on. Like dude, Y equals MX is bleep. It's simple. Community college fucking rules. Check your work. Oh, it's the fuck. I took, I took American Civil War. Our, our teacher was a Gettysburg tour guide.

• 43:50Speaker 00

  It was me and Harrisburg Area Community College students. I was the only dude who gave a fuck and I knew a lot about it already. This guy was like, Shane, thank you, yes. No one else was paying attention. I'd be like, that was, that was, uh, General Mead, right? He'd be like, it was Mead.

• 44:08Speaker 00

  I've been here a YouTube channel. I've been here for 10 years. You're the first guy to. It was. He's like, wow, anyway, we're gonna have a good day, guys.

• 44:19Speaker 00

  Did I ever tell you about, uh, my last semester at Temple? When I screenshotted the wrong week? Yes. Dude. No, this is great, man. I was at Temple and I was taking literally the. It's like when I went to school on nine 11. This is senior year? No, this is like my second or, I would, I went to Temple my sophomore and junior year, but I was taking three classes a semester. Cause I was like, bro, you can take three classes. Don't give a fuck. Not realizing you gotta like, take all of them to get out of college. I took a screenshot of my class, of my semester after spring break, but we were off MLK Day. So I had physics, uh, construction safety class and some other things on Monday, physics lab. So I was going to physics. I screenshot this. I don't know. I thought I'm off Mondays. I was chilling.

• 45:04Speaker 00

  Sundays, I was like, dude, we can do whatever the fuck they want out of school. I go in. Dude, still passed it. Still passed it by the way. We can do what we want. Dude. So I fucking went for a month and I'm in physics and they're talking about, well, during the lab, we went over this and I had, I thought the lab was something people are going to or into physics. They had literally no fucking clue. And then I finally realized that I've been missing my Mondays for a month.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  The all the Monday labs?

• 45:34Speaker 00

  Yes. And my construction safety class. I rolled into my construction safety class after a month of not being there was literally like, I fucking didn't know I had this class. And the chick let me in, I passed that, but physics, I got a forty-six on the test. There's literally Beetlejuice shit. I came in.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  Beetlejuice shit, is that what you're saying?

• 45:56Speaker 00

  I came in, I was trying to find that Green Bay Packers jersey you bought, I was gonna wear it, kid.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know where it is.

• 46:02Speaker 00

  Oh, you got a fucking Reggie one? Yeah. You got a ninety-two.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  The D five thousand, five thousand.

• 46:08Speaker 00

  I fucking went to the, I went to the, um. The way you're talking.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  It's just matter of fact.

• 46:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, so I went to that, um. What is, uh, like sine waves and shit?

• 46:21Speaker 02

  So sine, cosine?

• 46:23Speaker 00

  Cosine, what is that? What's that?

• 46:24Speaker 02

  I think they're w- w- amplitude.

• 46:26Speaker 00

  What's the type of math that is?

• 46:28Speaker 01

  Trigonometry.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  I have no idea.

• 46:30Speaker 00

  Going to fucking my trip class, get a forty-six, dude, and I was like, what's the curve? What's a bell curve? Cause I thought we'd all pass because everyone failed it, no one failed it. And then I shove up, the dude is in class like, today is the last day of the ad drop. I was like, for the ad drop, do you have to pay for it if you drop the class this day? He's like, no, you don't, that's in two weeks. If you don't go out in two weeks, then you have to do it. I literally was like, alright guys, got my bookbag, left college.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 46:58Speaker 00

  Oh dude, I was like, this is a fucked situation. Like, there's no way I'm passing this shit. I can't, look, I'm not. Engineering is the construction management. I'm not making fun of you, bro.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  I did the same thing with calculus.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  Three, calculus.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  I took calculus two times and I got a thirty-three.

• 47:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, the way I failed out of Elon was hilarious, dude. I do, after I quit football, I just stopped going to class. I just drank in a house. Were you not going to class at all? Like fucking. So you're skipping class? One or two a week.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  That's what I did, yeah.

• 47:27Speaker 00

  And then went home for Christmas break and they were like, you're expelled.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 47:35Speaker 00

  I was like, oh shit, they gotta tell my parents. While I was over for Christmas break, like, I'm not going back. I, I, I didn't know I was getting kicked out either. I had all my shit in North Carolina. My, yeah, I mean, it was.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  I was in a fucking.

• 47:50Speaker 00

  It was dark, dude. I was in my parents' basement crying.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  Sure. Yeah, I was like, mine's way more jovial than that. We like went, I was working at a trash incinerator that we had to cover with clean fucking fill. So we picked all the trash out, got rid of it, covered it with the, these like, all these rocks, but we could only have like a certain size, uh, stone. So my dad was like, dude, just pick any of the big rocks out. And this place is like a football field of just rocks. So I'm just sitting there looking down, grabbing, my uncle rolls up in a trash truck. And he's like, what the fuck are you doing? I was like, dude, my mom wants me to go to college. She's like, just fucking quit. I was like, okay. So then I quit and started driving trash trucks.

• 48:25Speaker 00

  Nice. I didn't have any sport.

• 48:28Speaker 02

  Uh, I went to George Washington and failed out of that, then went to Delco. Like, uh, Delaware County, yeah, and then failed out of that.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  We, did you get out of Delco?

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  I was a Westerner for six.

• 48:40Speaker 02

  And then I finished at Drexel.

• 48:42Speaker 00

  You fucking, hey, how'd you get into Drexel if you failed out Delaware County?

• 48:45Speaker 02

  Cause the guy that ran the screenwriting program had like tried to get me, cause I like wrote a script my senior year when I was in high school.

• 48:52Speaker 00

  Was it tires?

• 48:53Speaker 02

  Wasn't tires.

• 48:54Speaker 00

  You wrote that at Drexel though, right?

• 48:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was like my senior project. Yeah.

• 48:58Speaker 00

  And he fucking failed out.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, I did graduate Drexel.

• 49:02Speaker 00

  Oh, you did?

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:03Speaker 00

  Oh, I thought you were dumb as fuck.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  Well, I failed out of George Washington and then Delaware County Community College.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  George Washington's hard to get into, isn't it?

• 49:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, Drexel's not, he's not dumb.

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Drexel's hard to get into.

• 49:14Speaker 00

  No, but he failed out without drinking, really.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  Oh, there's other things I can get.

• 49:18Speaker 00

  He failed out without missing class.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Same thing, like I, after I failed out, I was living at my parents' house. So I did go to like every class at the Delaware County Community College.

• 49:29Speaker 00

  When I went to community college, I, no, when I went to community college, I locked in.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Oh, you know that's.

• 49:33Speaker 00

  After West Point, after Elon.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  It's time.

• 49:36Speaker 00

  Two years later, I'm at community college next to the farm show complex in Harrisburg. Oh my, oh man.

• 49:43Speaker 02

  Well, I had a juke or bottom.

• 49:45Speaker 00

  Mine was no, no way. Delaware County County College, I was in heaven. You could smoke on campus and shit. So like me and all the kids just go out in between classes, rip butts, go to McDonald's.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  I love how like your gradient of like how sick shit is is what you're allowed to do.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:59Speaker 00

  I'm not meant to be in school.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  I can do whatever the hell I want.

• 50:02Speaker 00

  I can't even imagine.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  We're allowed to smoke.

• 50:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. Can you imagine if you had to go to school? Now, if I had, like, if I, if my job tomorrow was to go to meetings from seven AM to three PM.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  I think about that.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  You'd have to, you'd, I only think.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  Chair hemorrhoids, like, forget it.

• 50:18Speaker 00

  Jesus. The hemorrhoids, that would definitely suck.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Are they permanent?

• 50:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, if I sit long enough, I don't know, I got a weird thing going on. But it's like, yeah, sitting on a plastic chair for that many hours, just listening to stuff you couldn't care less about.

• 50:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, if you're like, my life is teaching, I mean, obviously there's some good ones, but lost is behind that.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  Lost.

• 50:37Speaker 00

  If you're like a dude.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  I'm just saying.

• 50:39Speaker 00

  Pump the brakes. I'm just saying, like. We're on a big podcast right now.

• 50:41Speaker 00

  Obviously it's good teachers, but there's some that's like, all right, bro.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  My mom was a teacher.

• 50:45Speaker 00

  She's a good teacher. Hello. While I was in school, one of the teachers got busted for having sex with the kids. Few of them, actually. One, I moved. All boys school? Yeah. One, I'm, it was like prison. One, I moved her into her house. But I was retarded, so I wasn't picking up on anything that was going on. Yes, Urban, yes.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Well, it's just a, just, just, yeah.

• 51:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. True to me, Dan.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, I'm not getting rowdy.

• 51:08Speaker 00

  You're just getting rowdy.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  We're, we're almost done.

• 51:11Speaker 00

  You don't have to be in tomorrow, right?

• 51:13Speaker 02

  But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna get.

• 51:14Speaker 00

  No, no, no, I was just asking.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  Oh, I was gonna go in.

• 51:17Speaker 00

  I know tomorrow's early.

• 51:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:18Speaker 00

  I'm gonna go in pretty late. Supposedly the one teacher was banging the kid and she was like trying to be cool with all the kids in the class and she was buying them beer and shit. And then, uh, she started talking shit to the one kid in class and he was like, I'll be right back. Went to the principal's office, yeah, she's having sex with one of the students. Got her booted. Legendary shit.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  It's cold, yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 00

  Oh, man. She's a fucking. Bill, I could listen to you talk about school. Bro. It is so fun. You, honestly, you are Phil Gillis. You are the exact same dude. Like, the way he talks is, I, I go in there, I go, what the fuck is this shit? I fucking got a forty-six? I thought there was a fucking Belker. I paid on a, you know, research papers? But there's like, I think five was my all time max. I did write a paper in Temple that was awesome.

• 52:04Speaker 01

  How many pages?

• 52:05Speaker 00

  And it was five. And it was porn, the libido killer. And I had a whole paper on porn. Dude gave me an A plus. He was cool as shit.

• 52:10Speaker 01

  That's manosphere.

• 52:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  Tangential.

• 52:12Speaker 00

  And then, uh, yeah, in high school, we had to write like a research paper. I chose Alphonse Capone, the worst. And, um, I just paid kids to do it. And the teacher was just like, alright, man. Class, you wrote, is it obviously one of my, yeah, seriously. You were like, dude, I, I am.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  I got busted with that.

• 52:27Speaker 00

  Yeah. My boy Shaw wrote it. Shout out Shaw.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  I didn't pay anybody, but I took my roommate's paper from the year before and just handed it into the same teacher. And she was like, you think I don't know, you don't think I don't remember Kevin? Cause like, motherfucker.

• 52:39Speaker 00

  Fuck, I should have taken his day off. The thing that, the real shit about being fucking stupid is being too stupid to cheat. Because a lot of the smart kids can fucking cheat. And I would be like,

• 52:50Speaker 01

  There's like, I think the higher echelon is all cheating.

• 52:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's all it is.

• 52:54Speaker 01

  Super top is all cheating.

• 52:56Speaker 00

  All my boys that were in like AP shit were cheating their balls off. And I was like, fucking how? I, I've told this before, but I cheated a lot. And, uh,

• 53:04Speaker 01

  How do you cheat though? You get people to write your shit or?

• 53:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, like, uh, we had a, uh, yeah, he would give us the same test. So the class before this girl would just give me her calculator. And I would just, I, I'd get like a hundred, a hundred on everything.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  That's, that's crazy.

• 53:16Speaker 00

  And then I was a recruiting visit for football. So I missed the test day. And then he was like, here's the makeup test. And it was like four, just four problems. That was it. Cause he like, he loved the football team. And he was trying to, he was like, come on, bro, I got you. I couldn't, I couldn't, I didn't know one. Red.

• 53:38Speaker 00

  I didn't know one. I wrote three for every single answer and just handed it back to him. And I was like, I, I, I don't know one thing about what you've been, I don't even know this subject. I haven't listened to once.

• 53:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, we had none of the chicks doing us any favors because it was all dudes, so. Oh, that's tough. Just dudes is tough to cheat. You need chicks. You're just fucking around. There's like, there's no cheating is physically impossible. Yeah, that'd be tough with. Dude, like writing that shit on your calculator, have like, you would have to at least know the equations a little bit if you have like the cheat sheet in the calculator slip. I would sit there and be reading like. No, no, he would give us multiple choice answer. It was Scantron tests. Oh, God. And then he gave me a real test, like no Scantron, just like do the work. Oh, you didn't have to show the work on the Scantron? No, it's a Scantron. It's multiple choice. Damn, usually we would have Scantron and worksheet. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, we did actually have those and other ones, but no, this guy would just toss us Scantron. Bro.

• 54:36Speaker 00

  This lady would just write A, B, C. I would hit Scantrons and like gets out and I'd be like, it's been A four times. It can't be A this time. Yeah, yeah. This has to be wrong. Little fucking roulette. He goes, it's been read too often, dude. Oh, yeah. It's black. My fucking SATs, I'm like McAvoy Newsom. I had nine six. I'm like. I can't read. I'm like you. I'm like you guys. I can't even fucking read. Yeah, oh, there he is. There's our next president. Dude is bulletproof somehow. He walks through all that shit. Yeah, all you have to do is not be Trump. Yeah, true. You're gonna get. If Trucker comes as the next president, though, I'm not voting, though. Trucker? Yeah. I see your fucking Alps, bro. Trucker calls and yeah, his Alps shipment just got stolen. You like Trucker?

• 55:21Speaker 00

  I'm on, we're on the same vibe, bruh. You're on the same vibe, but are you on that fucking, are you on that fucking Christian weird shit? Christian weird shit, the stuff that you said you were on at the beginning of the podcast? Catholicism, bro. There's a big difference. No. Trucker's definitely not Catholic. No, Trucker's into Cabalism. Trucker wears both eyes, dude. He's a fucking Protestant. Good point. He said he's found Christ, honestly, but. Yeah, he found Protestant Christ. Oh, really? That is that? Hundred percent that guy's not Catholic. What's Protestant? It's the exact same, yeah. What's the difference? We have Pope, bro. We have the. Oh, they have a church. Oh, okay. They have, and also they're much more strict about word for word in the Bible. Oh, so they're kind of like evangelicals with that shit? He seems a little more evangelical, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I kind of just like the shit he puts up about like fucking Israel and shit.

• 56:05Speaker 00

  I gotta be honest, he's fucking kinda nailing it lately, but. Yeah, it's, it feels a little too good. I started watching that and like fucking, if you, you gotta watch the Jones on Duncan Trussell. He get like halfway through it, he goes back to his old shit and saying like, we're pretty much three dimensional beings that are more powerful than the fourth dimension beings, but they're using us and we think they're more powerful than us. And they're gonna use AI to take us out so then they can. Who the fuck are the fourth dimensional beings?

• 56:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, instead of sending to the fourth dimension naturally, they're gonna create a false dimension through AI.

• 56:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  Well, I'll be plugged into the matrix.

• 56:37Speaker 00

  How does he know all that?

• 56:38Speaker 01

  It was an ARPANET, um, it was like a futurist, a futurist, uh, wrote an art, like, uh, I don't know what they call it, like a white paper for ARPANET.

• 56:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  Before DARPA.

• 56:49Speaker 00

  Like read the old like futurist papers and stuff. I'll tell you what, Jolene's is just a cute little date spot. Don't angle that back. Fuck the fucking fourth dimension dude, I'm here.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  I just went to Roots today, that was actually pretty good.

• 57:01Speaker 00

  You went to where?

• 57:01Speaker 02

  Roots.

• 57:02Speaker 00

  Where's that at?

• 57:02Speaker 02

  In Wesheser.

• 57:05Speaker 00

  It's a tasty little cute spot. It's a cute spot. It's a tasty what?

• 57:08Speaker 01

  Are you like going on many dates? Is this why you say?

• 57:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's swimming in pussy.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  I'm not swimming in pu- no, drowning, I'm not sorry.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  Me or a television star?

• 57:16Speaker 00

  Definitely drowning.

• 57:17Speaker 02

  I paid by resting.

• 57:18Speaker 00

  He's definitely drowning.

• 57:19Speaker 02

  I'm dating him out there and, uh.

• 57:21Speaker 00

  How often do you go on dates? Just curious.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  Serial dating.

• 57:23Speaker 00

  You don't actually have to say that.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you.

• 57:24Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  We're just, we're just bullshitting, we can totally edit this out.

• 57:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  Or not.

• 57:28Speaker 00

  Blink twice. No, no, we don't have to.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. But no, I mean, I'm dating and so.

• 57:33Speaker 00

  Having fun, as they call it.

• 57:35Speaker 02

  Well, I'm dating intentionally, I'm trying to, I'm.

• 57:38Speaker 00

  You wanna find your wife?

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 57:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. Your forever hole.

• 57:44Speaker 00

  Your sheath.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  I do think I would want my wife to find her forever hole.

• 57:48Speaker 00

  Sure, yeah.

• 57:49Speaker 01

  Trying to find your first wife.

• 57:50Speaker 02

  I'm looking for my forever, uh, hole.

• 57:54Speaker 00

  Your forever hole is great.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  Hey, man, he found his. Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 01

  Congratulations.

• 58:01Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 58:01Speaker 00

  We're in, I guess. Yeah, I mean, there's no hiding it now.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:04Speaker 00

  You got your ring, bro. That's sick.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  Feels, I was like, bro, Spade's always told me, pull, wear rings, but I wear rings. Hold on, let me throw that in the fire real quick. Forget. Very weird. You ever wear rings or anything like that? What, how far do you go?

• 58:17Speaker 00

  Oh, he got it. Well, he's tried everything.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  If it wasn't for Shane, I'd be wearing a lot of it.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Like Jack Sparrow?

• 58:23Speaker 02

  If it wasn't for Ed Norton, dude.

• 58:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. Tyler, during, you, you remember in Fight Club when Tyler, during was like, dude, Ed Norton would think this is so gay.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  Although, I mean, the only thing is, I, I, I think. You could totally punch Gerbey and you just go.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  Six, both have six packs.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  Have hit a little bit.

• 58:41Speaker 00

  He does actually have that.

• 58:42Speaker 02

  Exit velocity on this. If you did die, I don't know how far I would go in the other direction.

• 58:47Speaker 00

  I think I finally got through to you.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:49Speaker 00

  Here, here's how I knew I got through to you.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:51Speaker 00

  The Savannah Bananas.

• 58:52Speaker 02

  The Savannah Bananas.

• 58:52Speaker 00

  That was a major test. I, I'd sent him a video of the Savannah Bananas. And I was like, this is your shit.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 58:59Speaker 00

  The Savannah Bananas is like.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Harlem Globetrotters.

• 59:01Speaker 00

  They're like hot guys.

• 59:02Speaker 02

  I very much respect it.

• 59:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're all fucking nasty at baseball, which it actually even pissed me off even more because they do all those cutesy dances. And I was like, these fucking dorks. Then I watched them catch like a double play between their legs. And I was like, all right, these guys are fucking nasty.

• 59:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're very talented.

• 59:17Speaker 00

  The dances and but they're, they're like doing like cute guy shit, where it's like.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  TikTok dances.

• 59:20Speaker 00

  It's like cool face paint, fucking glove, like they're, I don't know. It's, you gotta see it.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  They're the Harlem Globetrotters.

• 59:26Speaker 00

  In my opinion, it was right up Gerbey's alley as far as what he, in his mind, if he could be anything, he'd be a Savannah Banana.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 59:34Speaker 00

  I thought for sure I was correct on this. I sent him a reel of the Savannah Bananas dancing. I said, this is your shit.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  No.

• 59:40Speaker 00

  And he said, no. And I was, I was very.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  What is your shit? Like War Hero? What? What?

• 59:46Speaker 00

  You want to be a war hero?

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Why did everybody react like that? No, you just said, we're talking about sports.

• 59:53Speaker 02

  Because I thought about it, they're in response to when the Savannah Bananas. We were talking about sports. So you're just saying like, a war hero, like a famous war hero? Yeah, yeah, you know, like.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  Like if you could be anything.

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  Watching Masters in the air being like, this is totally true.

• 1:00:04Speaker 00

  You wouldn't be like the Lion of Tel Aviv.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Captain, Captain America?

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  You're like a fighter pilot. Okay, yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Twenty twenty vision.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  Like Maverick. Yeah.

• 1:00:13Speaker 00

  Shout out Shaw, my boys.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Brother's a fucking pilot. Not a Savannah Banana.

• 1:00:17Speaker 00

  Then he told me.

• 1:00:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:18Speaker 00

  That I've, I've, thankfully, I've. Gotten in, I've gotten through the fences. I've gotten through the iron dunk. He came in in like. And now I'm in. Five crackers. I, I was just wearing. Burberry pants. They're black. Shut up.

• 1:00:32Speaker 00

  What? I was wearing sweats? Tommy's fiance bought me a bunch of clothes.

• 1:00:37Speaker 00

  And I picked these right here. Well, I'm just saying, I'm not out shopping. I'm not fucking. It's hard, dude. Going out somewhere trying to find a pair of pants. I've never, I've never, I grabbed, I grabbed the wrong side off the shelf.

• 1:00:52Speaker 00

  This will shrink. My ass sweats, my armpit sweat and I leave. That's every trip to the mall. Yeah. It's a little too bright in there. He told me, he was like, I saw that video of Savannah Bananas and I thought to myself, fucking queers. And I was like, yes. We, we've reached it. The Copernos. That's just the warrior. That is the warrior on him. Is that why you send me gay guys kissing on Instagram? Me? Trying to see if that's my stuff?

• 1:01:17Speaker 00

  I'll tell you what, that backfired because now my algorithm. Bro. Yeah. But dude, did I send you one of the guy's ass cheeks? Yes. The guy with the thickest fucking cheeks? There's a new one I've been watching where it's a big, tall, white man that acts perfectly like a black woman and he has a little black boyfriend and they walk around. No stop. It's crazy. Fucking great. It's crazy. I'm gonna show it. Yeah, I'd like. Show me this. It's so crazy and they do like she, like the dude literally does the hand signals like blackjack. Liz at the end of that, no, it's. It's very fucking insane. Got to find who the hell that, why'd you leave your cheaters in the truck, brother?

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  I thought about getting them in.

• 1:01:53Speaker 00

  Your what?

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  My glasses.

• 1:01:55Speaker 00

  Oh, wow. Yeah, I've been sending you a lot of shit with that one gay podcast where it talks about like getting nut in his face and shit. What? Jesus. I sent you all those reels for the intros. You gotta take the cans off, bro. Oh, the guy that says like, did you have your pants fit out? You want me to eat that cake? Yeah, it's killing me, dude. You gotta take the headphones off, dude. I, I had to fucking listen. Here's the guy who's like, when they're talking about the Giza. Oh, that Brazzers dude. That dude's killing me. You've changed, Bill. I've changed. I literally can be more normal. I get paid to do gay shit, mate. There you go.

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  That's a dude?

• 1:02:31Speaker 00

  Oh, this is fake dude. It's real. She does, he does like fucking girl hand signals and shit.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:02:39Speaker 00

  Turn up the song. I think it might get us.

• 1:02:45Speaker 00

  It's up not making guys toes curls as a dude.

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  Anyway, you see, I got like eighty-three points in one game.

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  Trying to figure out what sporting event he's at, based on the old painting. New Mexico or something like that. Oh, little New Mexico State. That's a Wolfpack Stadium right there. She does that. She, I mean, it's here. Thank you, thank you. No problem.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  Screen blocker, I can't see ya.

• 1:03:05Speaker 00

  So who? Oh, it's loading down here Shane's goon cave.

• 1:03:12Speaker 00

  Oh, so, okay. That's a man. I understood. He's like Baron Trump. For real. It's crazy. That's what's, that's what's gonna happen to everyone if everyone keeps it down this road. What, with the? They can be taking peptides and look maxing with huge asses. It's not gonna stop it. Is anyone actually look maxing? What?

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  Gerben's fucking looks maxing?

• 1:03:35Speaker 00

  Gerben is look maxing, but he's not, uh. Got that Reagan hairline.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  I mean, not really. Gerben, Gerben's like cash right now.

• 1:03:42Speaker 00

  He hasn't gotten into, there's no substances.

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  No peptides?

• 1:03:46Speaker 00

  No. No, this is natural.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Dude, wait till he finds out about peptides.

• 1:03:49Speaker 00

  Tell me about peptides.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  You're gonna be like Catholic.

• 1:03:50Speaker 00

  Oh, I trust him. I told you I was gonna take peptides today and he kept being like, what peptides?

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  Dude, did you get, like, I was like driving over, I was like.

• 1:03:57Speaker 00

  I mean, it's literally self very good.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  Well, how come he gets to do it? So Billy met a dude, Bill, Billy, I met this dude through Billy and he's like, dude, you gotta take glow, take reta. What the fuck was the other ones? Gio or?

• 1:04:07Speaker 00

  Oh, I forget. You gotta pin to wind, they say.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  I'm sorry? I can't inject anything, so I'm just gonna have to be a lifetime natural.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  Can you inject though?

• 1:04:14Speaker 00

  You're fucking good. Dude, I'm trying. This is the best he's looked. Thank you.

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  What are they? What are they? They're just steroids? They're not steroids, they're what?

• 1:04:22Speaker 00

  You look like a tier one operator. I'll be fat in three weeks. I'll hurt my. Is this not the best he's looked in a while? I'll hurt my shit.

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  I don't really pay attention to him. I see him all the time too.

• 1:04:30Speaker 00

  I don't see him enough. You should see Spade's son is jacked.

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  He's enormous dude.

• 1:04:34Speaker 00

  He's literally like. How tall is this boy already?

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  Dude, tall? We're not gonna talk about tall.

• 1:04:38Speaker 00

  What's the number? Well, frame.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  Talk about why, we'll talk about weight.

• 1:04:42Speaker 00

  Yes. His ring is actually like- Creating a fullback.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:45Speaker 00

  For real, it might be, it might be Mike Alstott. He was giving birth.

• 1:04:48Speaker 02

  Mike Alstott.

• 1:04:49Speaker 00

  Mike Alstott's probably my favorite football player. Bro, could he be the last fullback? I mean, the game's gonna change so much.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  I don't know if he'll be the, I don't know if he'll reach the height.

• 1:04:56Speaker 00

  He could bring back the fullback.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  Who?

• 1:04:58Speaker 00

  His fucking Cincinnati's. Charlie boy. Republicus. His son Republicus could be the final fullback. Damn, he's a unit. Yeah, he's fucking stout, bro. He's got a dome, dude. He's got a Jones bill.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Yeah.

• 1:05:14Speaker 00

  He's a hardy boy. That's a guy who punches metal for fun.

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  He'll win his arms down.

• 1:05:22Speaker 00

  It's a legend.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  I fucking need it.

• 1:05:25Speaker 00

  I enjoy the frame. Cute. Cute. That makes sense. That's cute. Yes. A bar is- Him and a bar have nothing in common.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  Uh, we, eh, eh, what, did?

• 1:05:39Matt McCusker?

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• 1:06:13Speaker 03

  Also, guys, I have some shows coming up. Please, for the love of God, for the love of God, go to mattmccusker.com. Uh, I believe I'll be in Iowa pretty soon. And, uh, St. Paul, Minne- Minnesota, so. Go to there. Also, I, it's probably sold out, but there is that link show. Go to shanemgillis.com. Is it Shane Gillis or Shane M? Let me double check here.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  Let me see, guys. I'm sorry to hold you up here. I just want to make sure I got the information correct. Otherwise, it'd be pretty rude. I didn't even do this episode. I can't just plug my shows. That would be very rude of me to do that. Lincoln Financial Field, it is Shane M Gillis dot com, by the way. Shane M Gillis dot com. Let's see if Lincoln Financial Field is sold out. Hold on, guys. Let's see. Oo wee! Oo wee, guys. We gotta sell this out. It's getting close. If you think, "Oh, it's not for a while. I should be fine," you're a fucking fool. I don't see a lot of blue in this thing. The gray means sold out. Oo wee, boys. This is about to go. It's about to fucking go, guys. Get your motherfucking tickets at Shane M Gillis dot com.

• 1:07:28Speaker 03

  Uh, oh, back to the episode.

• 1:07:31Speaker 05

  Pardon the interruption. Pardon the interruption. This is Sean Gardini. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah at Wise Guys Comedy Club March 27th and 28th with Nate Marshall, so please come see that show if you'd like. And I'll be at The Comet in Cincinnati. Not Comet Ping Pong, just The Comet in Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd. So, please come to those. That was a little joke there, but I'd like, I'd really like to see you guys at the show, so please come if you can. Tickets are at shawngardini.com. And we also have Optimum Noctis at The Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas. Me, Nate Marshall, and Lemaire Lee

• 1:08:15Speaker 05

  every first and third Tuesday of the month. So, thank you very much for your time. Pardon the interruption. Enjoy the rest of the show. And we're back, dude. Did you see Smashing Machine?

• 1:08:28Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:08:28Speaker 05

  Bro, fuck.

• 1:08:29Speaker 06

  Cause I love the documenta- no, no, but I love the documentary.

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  The Mark Kirk thing?

• 1:08:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, the original documentary where he's like, can I tell you something that the documentary fucked something up for me with Mark Kirk? Cause when you watch him, he's such a badass and just like the way he like, in the documentary too, he's like rag doll. This is like when UFC was dudes with mullets and karate pants. And then he's in there with like actual spandex and he's just like a good wrestler. It's the first time he interviews and he goes.

• 1:08:58Speaker 00

  I was just gonna kick the shit out of you. Dude, The Rock, The Rock talks like that. It's perfect.

• 1:09:04Speaker 06

  He does the voice?

• 1:09:04Speaker 00

  So good.

• 1:09:05Speaker 06

  That might give you, that right there might give you the.

• 1:09:08Speaker 00

  It made the entire movie. He was on, he was on an airplane at one point going to Tokyo and he's like fucking huge in like a aisle seat. And the lady sitting next to him, dude, has the window and the thing's down. He's like, excuse me, can you, can you put that down? I love the sunsets.

• 1:09:22Speaker 01

  Now, dude, the best.

• 1:09:24Speaker 00

  He calls about his tummy.

• 1:09:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, the best is when he's at the fair, he's trying to go on the gravitron and he's like, you know, I can't go on that with my tummy.

• 1:09:29Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:09:30Speaker 00

  It's perfect.

• 1:09:31Speaker 06

  It's one of the.

• 1:09:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, when you watch this all.

• 1:09:32Speaker 06

  I only watched the old documentary that was on, I think it was like on HBO, but it was just here and then it would show him taking pills. And it was like in real time. Yeah.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  I didn't even know that as a thing.

• 1:09:43Speaker 06

  In the doc, when you see him doing it, you're like. Also, who made, that documentary made Japan look nuts. Cause it was like before we knew a lot about it and they were just doing these like Tokyo Dome, fucking tournaments. Yeah. And it was like, dude.

• 1:09:59Speaker 00

  That was in the nineties?

• 1:09:59Speaker 06

  Pride and all that shit. It's on the documentary. Yeah.

• 1:10:01Speaker 01

  I think it was like early 2000s.

• 1:10:03Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah. Cause I was, it was like oh two.

• 1:10:06Speaker 00

  Right after the height of Super Mario.

• 1:10:08Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:10:09Speaker 00

  You've been on a real Super Mario. I'm being Super Mario land. I'm on three. Three's hard as fuck, bro. Not to lie. That's actually hard paddle slamming territory. Like I fucking died and I just grabbed the controllers.

• 1:10:21Speaker 01

  Like, what's your top shit right now?

• 1:10:22Speaker 00

  Tanuki suit? Yes, dude.

• 1:10:24Speaker 06

  Dude, Tanuki suit's top. You know the name of it? No, only racing a Tanuki suit. I know Tanuki Mario?

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:10:31Speaker 06

  Easily the greatest.

• 1:10:32Speaker 01

  There's three of them.

• 1:10:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's hilarious.

• 1:10:36Speaker 00

  Tanuki?

• 1:10:37Speaker 06

  Tanuki.

• 1:10:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:38Speaker 06

  Is that how you say raccoon in Japanese?

• 1:10:40Speaker 00

  No clue.

• 1:10:41Speaker 06

  It's a kind of, I think it's like a mixed breed of something. You ever see a raccoon dog? A ra- a mix of raccoon.

• 1:10:47Speaker 06

  I saw a raccoon dog recently and I was pretty fucking fired up about it, actually. Let me look up what a tanuki is.

• 1:10:53Speaker 00

  It has to be a raccoon, but there's, I don't know.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Where are you getting tanuki at?

• 1:10:57Speaker 06

  Oh, his name's Tanuki Maria.

• 1:10:58Speaker 01

  I thought it was just ra- but did they say that in the game?

• 1:11:01Speaker 00

  I mean, they don't say shit.

• 1:11:02Speaker 01

  My whole life, I thought it was.

• 1:11:03Speaker 00

  How good that fucking raccoon dog is.

• 1:11:04Speaker 01

  What the?

• 1:11:05Speaker 00

  What is that? Is that a real dog? No, it's a. Domesticated raccoon? No, no. It's not domesticated, it's just an animal.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  It's like a sloth face.

• 1:11:13Speaker 00

  It's an Asian, I think that's probably what it's, the tanuki is based off of.

• 1:11:17Speaker 06

  Japanese raccoon dog.

• 1:11:19Speaker 00

  What, is it actually?

• 1:11:19Speaker 06

  A real mammal native to Japan known for its fox-like appearance, mask-like markings and thick brown non-ring tail.

• 1:11:26Speaker 00

  Gimme credit.

• 1:11:27Speaker 06

  In Japanese folklore.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  They're trying to call you dumb.

• 1:11:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. No, I was.

• 1:11:30Speaker 06

  They're supernatural shapeshifters.

• 1:11:32Speaker 00

  Me and autistic kids, because we watch Super Mario three stuff when we eat.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  Supposedly you don't.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  Watching YouTube videos, you get through it.

• 1:11:38Speaker 00

  Supposedly you don't digest, right, if you eat, watch YouTube or TV while you eat.

• 1:11:43Speaker 06

  What?

• 1:11:43Speaker 00

  Cause your mind is like watching the TV so you don't digest as good as you should.

• 1:11:47Speaker 06

  So you just go into like a deprivation tank and chew?

• 1:11:49Speaker 00

  It's impossible. I'm gonna eat like this sometimes.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  I have to have a YouTube video to eat.

• 1:11:54Speaker 06

  I just put one on at a truck stop eating Burger King. I'm like a toddler, I put my phone on, on its little side.

• 1:12:00Speaker 00

  I always just try not BK, not McDonald's.

• 1:12:02Speaker 06

  Didn't have it.

• 1:12:03Speaker 00

  You lied to me.

• 1:12:04Speaker 06

  I was gonna get McDonald's.

• 1:12:05Speaker 00

  I was so jealous.

• 1:12:05Speaker 06

  Can I tell you something?

• 1:12:06Speaker 00

  You're getting rest at McDonald's and I was genuinely like.

• 1:12:08Speaker 01

  Who wants BK? Like, what's, what's the hierarchy?

• 1:12:11Speaker 06

  Well, McDonald's is the best.

• 1:12:12Speaker 00

  McDonald's is the best.

• 1:12:12Speaker 06

  But let me tell you right now.

• 1:12:13Speaker 01

  The arch is called.

• 1:12:14Speaker 00

  Wendy's fell off so.

• 1:12:15Speaker 06

  Wendy's fell off really hard.

• 1:12:17Speaker 00

  Wendy's fell off.

• 1:12:17Speaker 06

  Let me tell you right now, that Sprite that I got.

• 1:12:21Speaker 00

  That Sprite.

• 1:12:22Speaker 06

  That Sprite was fucking terrific.

• 1:12:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, so they've been hitting me with reels about the big arch and I'm like.

• 1:12:29Speaker 06

  I wanna try.

• 1:12:29Speaker 01

  I'm looking at it, I'm like, you know.

• 1:12:31Speaker 06

  I would honestly.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  I might do that.

• 1:12:32Speaker 06

  If I didn't have sesame, if I, if I didn't have a stomach full of BK. I would do a class field trip to get a big arch.

• 1:12:39Speaker 00

  I was talking to Soder about eating before bed. I was like, dude, I can't do it.

• 1:12:43Speaker 01

  I eat myself to sleep.

• 1:12:44Speaker 00

  That's how he does it.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  I eat with cereal. I used to eat cereal.

• 1:12:47Speaker 00

  CCC, what is your turn of choice? Sip it to his crunch.

• 1:12:51Speaker 06

  Cereal's horrible. You're not supposed to drink milk right before you go to bed.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  I'm seventy pounds heavier than I was in high school.

• 1:12:58Speaker 06

  That's all milk weight.

• 1:12:59Speaker 00

  You are.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Milk is like a drug.

• 1:13:01Speaker 06

  It is.

• 1:13:02Speaker 00

  Milk rocks.

• 1:13:02Speaker 06

  It's the best.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  I love it. I can drink a gallon of milk in like a day and a half.

• 1:13:05Speaker 06

  You know what's funny is I got bullied.

• 1:13:07Speaker 00

  When I was a kid, I would drink milk like water.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  Like I would.

• 1:13:10Speaker 01

  I didn't still do that, dude.

• 1:13:12Speaker 06

  I always hated eating at my friends' houses because then their parents had to see how much milk I drank.

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  One bowl of cereal? One bowl?

• 1:13:22Speaker 06

  Like a poosbag. I'd be like, hey, uh, hey, Mike?

• 1:13:26Speaker 00

  You're cut off. You go, what'd you say to me? Dude, my cousins, my cousins that shared a driveway with us on the compound, they had ten kids.

• 1:13:33Speaker 06

  Jesus.

• 1:13:34Speaker 00

  Dude, I think there was a dedicated farm for their milk intake because it was like milk with spaghetti.

• 1:13:39Speaker 01

  Maybe we get four gallons.

• 1:13:40Speaker 00

  With spaghetti, I've done it every single time I've had spaghetti.

• 1:13:43Speaker 01

  Maybe we get four gallons.

• 1:13:44Speaker 00

  Liquid time of time.

• 1:13:47Speaker 01

  I remember being seventeen or eighteen and seeing the bill and it was four hundred dollars. This is like nineteen ninety-nine, like, and they had four gallons of milk at a time.

• 1:13:55Speaker 00

  Always.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:56Speaker 00

  Ajax would come in and just slam the fucking cuss. Good household.

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  Dude, Ajax.

• 1:14:00Speaker 06

  Oh, you guys are like the Gronkowski's.

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  Ajax just released an album.

• 1:14:04Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Ajax McCusker on Spotify.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  An EP.

• 1:14:07Speaker 00

  Voice of an angel, bro. Well, just so you know, that's about to hit four hundred fifty. I wanted to make like he's gonna be the whole board.

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  Dude, out of the depths with a diabetes port, fucking from the third floor, bro.

• 1:14:20Speaker 00

  You're charting. Kyron's duels. Dude, listen to Ajax McCusker. Listen to it. It's like fucking sick shit. He has a voice of an angel, but he's like six foot eight. He's huge.

• 1:14:29Speaker 06

  That's what I want.

• 1:14:30Speaker 00

  It's like Andre the Giant if he could sing.

• 1:14:32Speaker 06

  That's what I want. That's the funnier. That's like the Mark Kerr voice.

• 1:14:35Speaker 00

  It's powerful as fuck, bro.

• 1:14:36Speaker 01

  Jack is a gentle giant. He wouldn't hurt a fly, bro.

• 1:14:39Speaker 00

  No. But, yeah, they used to crush. Hold on, fine, because of fucking Matt's famous ass. No, no, no. Go Spotify. He has a. On Spotify, just search Ajax McCusker. It has to come. Everything that comes up. Karen's.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  Just look by artist.

• 1:14:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, there it is. Karen's Doors, perhaps? John McCusker? No. Fuck is Joe McCowson? I mean.

• 1:14:58Speaker 01

  Comes up for me.

• 1:14:58Speaker 06

  It's crazy that now you can just put up music. Like, you know, if you're awesome, that's great. But if you suck, you're just like, oh no. Put up.

• 1:15:07Speaker 00

  Hit it.

• 1:15:08Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:15:08Speaker 00

  Hit top plate. Give Soder a taste.

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  I mean, the quality is insane.

• 1:15:12Speaker 00

  He played this? No, he did it with like an AI thing. He's singing.

• 1:15:18Speaker 00

  It's ominous. We'll give you some Ajax lore. I'd smoke and drive this shit.

• 1:15:25Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  Jax used to like stand at the perimeter of our school where like at the actual feet would end where the school property was and smoke reds in front of our disciplinarian. Just rip Marlboro Reds. Look into Hill and just be like, what are you gonna do about it?

• 1:15:42Speaker 06

  You're selling this album.

• 1:15:43Speaker 01

  I'm not on school property.

• 1:15:51Speaker 00

  He can.

• 1:15:54Speaker 00

  I know, but I mean.

• 1:15:55Speaker 01

  Dude, McCowson's had that music thing, man.

• 1:15:56Speaker 00

  He needs a fucking.

• 1:15:59Speaker 00

  It's a long intro, honestly.

• 1:16:05Speaker 00

  Come on, Ajax, sing. Boo.

• 1:16:10Speaker 00

  You gotta hear his fucking voice, dude. I know, I hope it's coming. Fast forward.

• 1:16:14Speaker 06

  It's almost like it's a bit every time you think he's gonna sing.

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  He never does.

• 1:16:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:22Speaker 00

  Good instrumental intro. I don't do it anymore.

• 1:16:30Speaker 06

  That was the best. That was the best fact I've ever heard. I really was like, there's no.

• 1:16:35Speaker 00

  Fast forward.

• 1:16:37Speaker 06

  This is like a seven minute intro.

• 1:16:39Speaker 00

  They don't do that anymore. This is B-side shit. It's like Journey to the Source.

• 1:16:46Speaker 00

  He might have uploaded the instrumental by accident.

• 1:16:49Speaker 06

  I feel like I've been trolled.

• 1:16:50Speaker 00

  Dude, Kyron's doors.

• 1:16:54Speaker 00

  Is this not him? No, that's him. That's it.

• 1:16:57Speaker 06

  Dude, that break in was so funny. It was like.

• 1:17:06Speaker 01

  That's AJ.

• 1:17:07Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  He had voice ups out in high school. Not taking away.

• 1:17:15Speaker 00

  That's AJ. Damn.

• 1:17:16Speaker 06

  Yeah, he can wail.

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  Ajax used to also be able to memorize books.

• 1:17:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:21Speaker 01

  He like knew what was on pages of books.

• 1:17:22Speaker 00

  You need a new walkout song, bro? Little AJ. Hole.

• 1:17:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:17:27Speaker 00

  Crush that shit. Dude, I'll bless Ajax before shows. That'd be fucking sick.

• 1:17:32Speaker 06

  Dude, that'd be awesome.

• 1:17:33Speaker 00

  I need Ajax singing the national anthem. He would do that. A heartbeat. Blink. And that's a lirch? Dude, he would crush the na- he sings for every wedding.

• 1:17:40Speaker 01

  Oh, is that coming up? That's like in May, right?

• 1:17:42Speaker 00

  July. July.

• 1:17:43Speaker 06

  Is that his cross to bear that he has to sing at every McCusker wedding?

• 1:17:46Speaker 00

  Cross the bear, bro. We're a fucking. Now, the whole family loves music.

• 1:17:49Speaker 01

  He's due church.

• 1:17:50Speaker 00

  Entire family. Ave Maria, all that shit. Oh my. That'd be nuts. Him and his sister. Sing Ave Maria. Together at weddings, yes, it's fucking great. How tall is he? He's huge.

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  Uh, Jack's like a legit six, five.

• 1:18:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, and probably three. Yeah, probably.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:05Speaker 00

  Fluxway. Three twenty?

• 1:18:05Speaker 06

  Just a goblet, goblet of milk.

• 1:18:07Speaker 00

  Long hair.

• 1:18:08Speaker 06

  Singing like a.

• 1:18:08Speaker 00

  Fucking. He has the.

• 1:18:12Speaker 01

  He did a talent show in high school where he did a Metallica song. I can't remember which one, one it was.

• 1:18:16Speaker 00

  It was, uh, nothing else, man.

• 1:18:17Speaker 01

  Not standing, uh, standing, uh.

• 1:18:19Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  Standing, uh.

• 1:18:20Speaker 06

  The fantasy of every teenager is to rip it at a talent show.

• 1:18:23Speaker 00

  Metallica and some, and some thirty-three year olds who are just driving along.

• 1:18:26Speaker 06

  Oh, kids up, sticking back.

• 1:18:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:18:28Speaker 06

  Sticking back where you go, come out ACDC and I wail on guitar.

• 1:18:32Speaker 00

  So sick. There was a few kids.

• 1:18:33Speaker 06

  All the senior girls were like, suck my dick.

• 1:18:35Speaker 00

  I wish I could have gotten head.

• 1:18:37Speaker 01

  That was the thing that fucked me up about that manosphere thing was that guy's like videotaping himself getting head like that's a thing he's doing?

• 1:18:43Speaker 00

  I haven't watched the documentary.

• 1:18:44Speaker 01

  Oh, you didn't see it?

• 1:18:45Speaker 00

  A monster, bro. What, people film themselves going head?

• 1:18:47Speaker 01

  Throughs in England with this guy, um, HS Ticky Tacky and he's like, yeah, dude, I video, if you go, if you join my telegram, you can watch me get head. And I'm like, dude, this is a fucking thing these guys are doing. And these streams are getting wild. Not to change subject, I'm sorry.

• 1:19:00Speaker 00

  Our stream's gonna have to, we're gonna have to pick it up.

• 1:19:02Speaker 06

  Jesus, yeah.

• 1:19:03Speaker 00

  Maybe we should quadruple kiss.

• 1:19:04Speaker 01

  You gotta get herded in Marbella.

• 1:19:06Speaker 00

  Everybody that.

• 1:19:07Speaker 06

  Tung dog pile.

• 1:19:08Speaker 00

  Full keg.

• 1:19:09Speaker 01

  You gotta go to Ibiza.

• 1:19:10Speaker 06

  And he's just singing to himself with a beautiful voice, rolling kegs like they're nothing.

• 1:19:14Speaker 00

  It's a real man. Alky gongs?

• 1:19:16Speaker 06

  Look at him.

• 1:19:17Speaker 00

  I'm learning a whole fucking thing of cattle and barrels, bro. Yo, he was a unit.

• 1:19:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, dude, he's just picking up kegs and rolling.

• 1:19:23Speaker 00

  Something about a staff t-shirt on a guy with long hair. I know. Just does it. Just does it for me, dude. You go, that guy, he's up to something. Yeah. I like it. You give me a ponytail and a staff t-shirt? I've tried many times to grow out my hair, never works. You'd look great with one. My head just comes increasingly bigger.

• 1:19:44Speaker 06

  You gotta take the weight out of it, get it cut.

• 1:19:46Speaker 00

  I do that and then I look like. Hey, you two might be the fucking noggin boys.

• 1:19:49Speaker 06

  What size hat do you wear?

• 1:19:51Speaker 00

  I don't, I don't.

• 1:19:52Speaker 06

  You don't?

• 1:19:53Speaker 00

  Nah, I never wear fitted hats.

• 1:19:55Speaker 06

  Alright, well I can't fit in a regular hat.

• 1:19:56Speaker 00

  I think, Soder has a beat.

• 1:19:58Speaker 06

  I, I wear, I wear an Ace.

• 1:20:00Speaker 00

  He's sponsored by the Big Hat.

• 1:20:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, oh, they're the Big Hat. I did a commercial for the guy and then he played it all over and he's like, I'll send you Big Hats. And then he made me a Miami Dolphins hat. When McDaniel was the coach of the Dolphins and I went to a game and my other friend that I grew up with Chad, when we were on the field, he goes, Soder's wearing unlicensed NFL gear.

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  I hope all the NFL coaches get that cool, dude.

• 1:20:22Speaker 06

  Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 1:20:24Speaker 00

  McKeever's, McKeever's got.

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  He should all be that chill.

• 1:20:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:20:28Speaker 00

  Me, why? McKeever could, you guys could go dome for dome.

• 1:20:31Speaker 06

  Burt's head's size eight, like I think, he's the only person I know, there's.

• 1:20:35Speaker 00

  Who?

• 1:20:36Speaker 06

  Burt Kreischer, he's got a size eight.

• 1:20:38Speaker 00

  That could be Royd's head though. Has that, true, he's on, is he on testosterone? Probably.

• 1:20:43Speaker 06

  Dude, it's so funny when Barry Bonds' head shrunk back down. And then he showed back up public, I'm a huge Giants fan and he was, and you're like, he's not on steroids and his just, head would go to the top of his head to his shoulder and then he.

• 1:20:56Speaker 00

  If it was in the strike zone, it was gone.

• 1:20:58Speaker 06

  Gone, always could be out of it, you'd be like.

• 1:21:00Speaker 01

  Dude, when, but when McGuire and Sosa were going for it, dude, it was fucking the best.

• 1:21:06Speaker 06

  Well, that's why Bonds got on steroids, cause they said there was a dinner, there's a dinner at Ken Griffey Jr.'s house and they're all talking about it and he was like, wanna see me steroids, wanna see me steroids? And then he just, was like, I'll just crush.

• 1:21:19Speaker 00

  He's the, he's the best player of all time.

• 1:21:21Speaker 06

  It's crazy.

• 1:21:22Speaker 00

  He's not even close, he's the best player of all time.

• 1:21:24Speaker 06

  Yeah, he could have died in 1998 and been easily a first ballot Hall of Famer than he was.

• 1:21:29Speaker 00

  I forget the exact stat, but his, the walks, the on bases he took.

• 1:21:34Speaker 06

  It was like the highest of all time.

• 1:21:35Speaker 00

  More than teams. Combined, he had more walks than like the Devil Rays that year.

• 1:21:41Speaker 06

  The funny thing is watching him.

• 1:21:42Speaker 00

  He would just go into the plate and they'd be like, take, take first.

• 1:21:45Speaker 06

  He'd put on his elbow guard or whatever and then he'd know they're walking him and he would like, he'd get really huffy, where he'd go like.

• 1:21:53Speaker 06

  Take off his whole card and be like, "You won't pitch to me."

• 1:21:58Speaker 00

  But he did.

• 1:21:58Speaker 06

  I'd be pissed if I had to run. Oh, they would always. I'm a trot, bro. Well, he was a stolen base guy originally, when he was like with the Pirates and shit. With the Pirates, he was, yeah.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  I had his rookie card, him and Maguire were both.

• 1:22:10Speaker 06

  He was nasty, yeah. Maguire was skinny and then they started choosing.

• 1:22:13Speaker 00

  How hard were you guys cheering for Maguire over Sosa?

• 1:22:15Speaker 01

  I loved it.

• 1:22:17Speaker 06

  Am I right, brothers?

• 1:22:18Speaker 00

  I was too young.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  I actually, I turned into like the fucking, what do they call him, Frankenberry?

• 1:22:22Speaker 06

  Come on, Mark Maguire.

• 1:22:25Speaker 00

  Sosa turned into Franken.

• 1:22:26Speaker 01

  An MJ?

• 1:22:27Speaker 06

  He really did.

• 1:22:28Speaker 00

  Sosa is the Frankenberry.

• 1:22:29Speaker 06

  It's so real. Do you remember that video game?

• 1:22:32Speaker 00

  It's happening to my skin.

• 1:22:33Speaker 06

  He goes, "Sammy Sosa's baseball is so real."

• 1:22:37Speaker 00

  Sammy Sosa fucking rules. It's final. I think that's what happened. You get a little older, you go, "Actually, Sosa was the man."

• 1:22:42Speaker 06

  Yeah, when you're.

• 1:22:43Speaker 00

  Maguire's obviously the man. When you're a young white, when you're a young white man, you go, "I'd like to see Mark Maguire win. He looks like my dad."

• 1:22:49Speaker 06

  A red-haired man that has freckles on his.

• 1:22:52Speaker 00

  He's Maguire.

• 1:22:53Speaker 06

  Yeah. Looks like he's got his forearms tanned from mowing the lawn.

• 1:22:57Speaker 00

  Uh, Sosa, Sosa. He's just fucking.

• 1:23:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, he shattered one at the recliner.

• 1:23:03Speaker 06

  Sosa, Sosa sprinting with the American flag in the, in the outfield at Wrigley. I think it was right after nine eleven. Oh, yeah. Come on now. Yeah. That's what it's all about. Sosa's the man, but Bonds was like the guy that everyone hated, so it was fun to like him and be, and be like shitty about it.

• 1:23:19Speaker 00

  And you were a Giants fan too.

• 1:23:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, I was like, he never got caught. He never got caught when Balco was happening. Other than the exact same. And then, uh, and then he stops playing and he just comes back to earth and he. Yeah, he's good. Yeah, he's, he's definitely steroids.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, so what was your baseball team?

• 1:23:34Speaker 06

  Giants. I loved the Giants. Dan, that must've been so nice to have.

• 1:23:37Speaker 00

  There was times in the.

• 1:23:38Speaker 06

  We won a World Series though. Never won. Uh, not until 2010. Yeah. But we lost 89, lost in 02. It sucked. Was it Lincecum? Lincecum was the man. Lincecum was the man. Long hair. Yeah. Fucking whipped it. His dad had a clause in his contract that he, a pitching coach couldn't change his release. Sick. He was like, "You're not fucking with my boy's release."

• 1:23:59Speaker 01

  What's that mean?

• 1:24:00Speaker 06

  Like the way he threw the ball, they couldn't come in and go, "You gotta just take your arm." Yeah. "Don't touch the boy."

• 1:24:08Speaker 06

  He was awesome.

• 1:24:09Speaker 01

  I remember watching a Giants double header. I don't know if it was with the Phillies, but it was, I watched this. And this went on for like two days and it went into like way extra innings, like seventeen innings. It was fucking nuts, dude.

• 1:24:19Speaker 00

  Wait, you watched like on TV or?

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  On TV, like back as a kid.

• 1:24:22Speaker 00

  You sat down and watched a double edit?

• 1:24:24Speaker 01

  Down and started. It was like a fucking, and it went in an extra innings. I was, this is fucking nuts.

• 1:24:28Speaker 00

  Back in the day, no pitch clock.

• 1:24:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:30Speaker 06

  I feel.

• 1:24:31Speaker 01

  So no internet, nothing, just be like this game. I'm like sitting there like, dude, this game's not over yet.

• 1:24:35Speaker 06

  We had a, could have read it in Encyclopedia. We had a bar?

• 1:24:38Speaker 01

  No, no, I was a little kid. This is.

• 1:24:39Speaker 06

  Double header Giants?

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:42Speaker 06

  You're watching, you're watching a fucking Matt Williams batting third.

• 1:24:46Speaker 01

  It's like the mid nineties Giants.

• 1:24:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 1:24:48Speaker 00

  Damn.

• 1:24:49Speaker 01

  The mid nineties Phillies were goats. So baseball in Philly was like the most popular fucking thing ever.

• 1:24:54Speaker 06

  You guys had the baddest team. You guys had the coolest team. You had the coolest colors. You had, the Braves were the.

• 1:25:00Speaker 01

  We had a new uniform.

• 1:25:02Speaker 06

  Braves were the villains, but you guys had fucking crock. Then you had nails.

• 1:25:06Speaker 01

  Mitch Williams. Wild thing.

• 1:25:09Speaker 06

  Oakland always beat our ass. So it was always like.

• 1:25:12Speaker 00

  Oakland rules.

• 1:25:12Speaker 06

  Oakland was great. Ricky Henderson, Ricky Henderson is the funniest baseball player of all time.

• 1:25:18Speaker 01

  I've never heard him talk. I heard Barry Bonds.

• 1:25:20Speaker 06

  He talks in third person. The funniest Ricky Henderson story of all time is one of his teammates was talking about John three sixteen. And then Ricky Henderson walked over. He goes, Ricky don't care if John hit three sixteen. Ricky gonna hit three fifty. But he was third person.

• 1:25:36Speaker 00

  Man, it's powerful.

• 1:25:38Speaker 06

  You guys are going third person.

• 1:25:40Speaker 00

  Me?

• 1:25:40Speaker 06

  Shane, Shane doesn't like that.

• 1:25:42Speaker 01

  Shane doesn't care about that.

• 1:25:44Speaker 00

  Hey, me? Never heard of the bug. Oh, man, that was, we even, uh, we put together a good pod today. Gerbys, Gerbys was firing.

• 1:25:53Speaker 06

  Yeah?

• 1:25:54Speaker 01

  Gerben is.

• 1:25:55Speaker 00

  Gerben's the funniest dude ever. Gerben thinks that he is Tyler Durden to Shane and Shane Edel.

• 1:26:00Speaker 06

  That's crazy.

• 1:26:02Speaker 00

  Yo, he's crazy.

• 1:26:03Speaker 06

  That's a crazy.

• 1:26:05Speaker 01

  That is like.

• 1:26:06Speaker 06

  That's a crazy day.

• 1:26:07Speaker 00

  He's nuts, dude.

• 1:26:08Speaker 06

  He thinks he's Brad Pitt.

• 1:26:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, he goes, as a six pack.

• 1:26:12Speaker 01

  Or just in general, it's not.

• 1:26:14Speaker 06

  He does have a great body.

• 1:26:15Speaker 00

  Yes. Thank.

• 1:26:17Speaker 01

  Dude, maybe this is what happens when you get a six pack. If you get a six pack, you look at the video, like, oh, Derek, who's my fucking Ed Norton?

• 1:26:24Speaker 06

  Yeah, he, that's like God giving giraffes long necks so that they can eat.

• 1:26:28Speaker 00

  The shit he does. On set during tires is you'd lose your mind. If I, he gets there before me every day, so I get into hair and makeup after him and he sings. While he's in hair and makeup, he like sings songs with the girls.

• 1:26:46Speaker 06

  Excuse me?

• 1:26:46Speaker 00

  You must be in heaven, dude. It's his favorite thing in the world.

• 1:26:49Speaker 06

  What's, what kind of songs?

• 1:26:51Speaker 00

  I like it. Fucking show tunes. What do you think? He doesn't sing.

• 1:26:55Speaker 06

  I don't know that he's doing.

• 1:26:57Speaker 00

  Yucky doodle dandy. He's just the music he likes.

• 1:27:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, you come in, he's like, ah, my man in the box.

• 1:27:05Speaker 00

  He, the way, the, the music he likes.

• 1:27:08Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:27:09Speaker 00

  The glasses he, like, everything he does is so fucking funny. Movie star.

• 1:27:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, dude, I love it.

• 1:27:15Speaker 00

  So funny. He is. You're Dr. Frankenstein. No, he's. You're a dork. He's so funny.

• 1:27:21Speaker 06

  Dude, the fact that he thinks.

• 1:27:23Speaker 00

  But I'm getting to him. We were talking about earlier. I sent him those Savannah bananas and it got through to him. I was like, you like this shit? And he was like, shit's gay. And I was like, yes. Hater. Yes, brother, yes.

• 1:27:34Speaker 06

  You're starting to see it.

• 1:27:35Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:27:38Speaker 06

  I think it's gay.

• 1:27:41Speaker 00

  Fucking Helen Keller. I'm like, yeah.

• 1:27:45Speaker 06

  That was him doing. That is water.

• 1:27:49Speaker 00

  Did they, they do his hair, they shampoo his hair while they're shampooing his hair. He's like, oh, yeah. Dude, stop. The other good, one of the, one of the other hair and makeup girls filmed it and sent it to me. It was like, this is what he's doing. Now they're. Yeah, cut this out. No, no, no, no, no. They love it. He sounds like a fucking porno director from like 2003. This girl, this girl's doing his shampoo and he's going, holy shit.

• 1:28:16Speaker 00

  But I swear the girls, the, those girls love him. I get in there and they're like, Steve's so nice. You're mean. And I'm like, no, I'm just, it's fucking 8 a.m. And I have to put fucking makeup on.

• 1:28:27Speaker 06

  He comes in there with this tray of pink drinks from Starbucks and knows what each one goes to. And he goes, have you guys heard? I saw, I found Celine live in Vegas.

• 1:28:38Speaker 00

  So he goes in, he tells them about his dates.

• 1:28:40Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:28:41Speaker 00

  Talks about his dating life. He did his haircut. He does, he does, I mean. He's in the salon, bro. It is.

• 1:28:47Speaker 06

  That's absolutely correct.

• 1:28:48Speaker 00

  And I am, he's right about this when it comes to the Tyler Durn thing. I am jealous. Of.

• 1:28:54Speaker 01

  The freedom.

• 1:28:55Speaker 00

  The complete freedom.

• 1:28:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:28:58Speaker 00

  And.

• 1:28:58Speaker 01

  But you wouldn't be that way anyway.

• 1:29:01Speaker 00

  He's happy. Yeah.

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  He's just saying that he just thinks that your freedom and his freedom is the same. You would be different dude.

• 1:29:09Speaker 06

  That's actually a very good point.

• 1:29:10Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 1:29:10Speaker 06

  Your freedom isn't singing songs with the girls.

• 1:29:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I wish, yeah, I guess I don't really like this.

• 1:29:16Speaker 06

  You just, you just kidding, you could just see.

• 1:29:21Speaker 00

  He's like, you know what? I thought about it. I'm Tyler Durden. And I was just sitting there like, I fucked.

• 1:29:27Speaker 06

  What was his?

• 1:29:27Speaker 00

  I gave up picking on Gerben for Lent, so.

• 1:29:30Speaker 06

  Did you really?

• 1:29:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, my, you know, my nephew gave up doing six, seven for Lent. Are you serious? He's struggling. Very hard. I'll call, I'll call him and be like, is Anthony on? Yeah. I'll be like, dude, I, we, we were at work today for like six or seven hours. He's in the car like.

• 1:29:46Speaker 00

  Dude, I coached fucking flag and all those kids, dude. Someone doesn't hit that extra point, it's like.

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  I swear to God, Alex Jones has, Alex Jones has seven nephew because he's been randomly hitting like six or seven years and shit like that, dude. And I'm like.

• 1:30:02Speaker 00

  I'm, my lips have just rocked.

• 1:30:04Speaker 06

  Did you, did you drop it and then side eye?

• 1:30:07Speaker 00

  It's, it's so nice to just be like, is Anthony, can Anthony hear me right now? And he'll be like. Like dude, it was crazy. I was at work for like six or seven hours. He's just like.

• 1:30:18Speaker 06

  Okay, come on, man. It's like someone not trying to smoke.

• 1:30:21Speaker 00

  He like thinks he's going to hell if he doesn't.

• 1:30:24Speaker 06

  The power of Catholicism.

• 1:30:25Speaker 00

  He's just dying.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  Oh, he gave up.

• 1:30:28Speaker 00

  He gave it. He decided they're like, he know, he did, he knows.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  Oh, this is great.

• 1:30:33Speaker 00

  Like this is his favorite thing. He gave it up.

• 1:30:36Speaker 06

  Does Lent end on Easter or Good Friday?

• 1:30:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:39Speaker 06

  Easter?

• 1:30:40Speaker 01

  Uh, it ends on Easter.

• 1:30:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:42Speaker 06

  So he's.

• 1:30:42Speaker 00

  You gotta wait till he rises.

• 1:30:43Speaker 06

  He's gonna be waiting.

• 1:30:44Speaker 00

  He's gonna hit the six, seven.

• 1:30:46Speaker 01

  Easter Monday is glorious.

• 1:30:47Speaker 00

  I'm gonna go, Anthony, what time's mass? It's six or seven.

• 1:30:54Speaker 06

  Hurt his shoulders?

• 1:30:55Speaker 00

  Oh dude, it's crazy. My nephew just had basketball, the one kid was like fucking crazy, AD dude, and he would just run up and down the court. Once he got to the three point line, just slide all the way down.

• 1:31:06Speaker 06

  This kid's fucking rules, dude. Yeah.

• 1:31:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, I saw a nice video, this kid with Down syndrome, it was Special Olympics basketball. Did I send this to you? So nice. He's, he's, he's fast break layup, this kid's nasty. He like literally like finger rolls into a fast break, but the kid chasing him on the other team started fucking. Heading? Hitting him on the, and then the game gets heated, dude, but this kid's like draining threes and looking at the sideline like. Oh my god, dude. Yeah. They got that, the WWF fucking taunt stand. Bro. You ever play that game? He's not even reaching for iFos.

• 1:31:39Speaker 01

  It's like a blitz type Sega.

• 1:31:41Speaker 06

  Pigskin?

• 1:31:42Speaker 00

  Yeah. Where you would like, it was like medieval shit, where you would like play football?

• 1:31:46Speaker 06

  I kinda remember that.

• 1:31:47Speaker 00

  It's very good, I was just watching videos on that the other day.

• 1:31:49Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 1:31:50Speaker 06

  It's like violent football.

• 1:31:52Speaker 00

  It's like medieval football on Sega.

• 1:31:54Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:31:54Speaker 00

  It's called like Pigskin or something.

• 1:31:56Speaker 06

  They did, they loved that on Sega.

• 1:31:57Speaker 00

  And that shit ruled. It was very good.

• 1:31:59Speaker 01

  I know what you're talking about.

• 1:32:00Speaker 06

  Golden Axe was my favorite. Golden Axe.

• 1:32:02Speaker 00

  Fucking ruled.

• 1:32:03Speaker 01

  I got the little YouTube hole of these like.

• 1:32:05Speaker 06

  Goldnecks in the arcade.

• 1:32:07Speaker 01

  What do you call that?

• 1:32:08Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:32:08Speaker 01

  Thing you got.

• 1:32:09Speaker 00

  How did, how did they do that? Oh yeah. So good. The all in ones?

• 1:32:13Speaker 06

  Goldnecks ruled.

• 1:32:14Speaker 01

  What do you call them?

• 1:32:15Speaker 00

  He has a real thing, it's called Steam Deck.

• 1:32:17Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:32:17Speaker 01

  Oh, Steam, okay.

• 1:32:18Speaker 06

  I got that thing on me.

• 1:32:19Speaker 00

  I wish, dude.

• 1:32:20Speaker 06

  My emulator fucking crashed though.

• 1:32:22Speaker 01

  Wait, so you have.

• 1:32:23Speaker 00

  It's too much work.

• 1:32:23Speaker 01

  Game Boy?

• 1:32:24Speaker 06

  It's like a, uh, Steam Deck's like a giant.

• 1:32:26Speaker 00

  It has everything.

• 1:32:28Speaker 01

  Switch?

• 1:32:28Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's like a bigger, it's like a switch on steroids.

• 1:32:31Speaker 00

  Spade just got a switch and now he's stuck in the underdog in Zelda.

• 1:32:34Speaker 01

  I gave it up real quick, dude.

• 1:32:35Speaker 00

  Fucking guy's killing it.

• 1:32:36Speaker 01

  I'm not built for, um, open world games.

• 1:32:39Speaker 00

  It's possible. I'm a 2D gamer.

• 1:32:41Speaker 01

  I'm playing Zelda, I might've got lost. I might have to start the game over.

• 1:32:46Speaker 06

  Oh damn, I think they took it down. I've done that twice with both Last of Us. I've gone halfway, got a little bored, stopped, tried to come back and be like, I gotta reboot this.

• 1:32:54Speaker 01

  I told Bill, I was like, I think I have to start the game over. She said, no, you don't. I was like, dude.

• 1:32:57Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 1:33:00Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 1:33:00Speaker 00

  What do you know about Quince?

• 1:33:01Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cot, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers. I'm a, I'm a big fan.

• 1:33:12Speaker 00

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• 1:33:37Matt McCusker?

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• 1:33:38Speaker 00

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• 1:33:39Matt McCusker?

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• 1:34:03Speaker 07

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• 1:34:33Speaker 01

  Pretty sure I'm, I entered the depths and I'm not supposed to be here yet. Don't have enough hearts.

• 1:34:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, I've just been fucking spazzing on Super Mario 3. It's kind of my happy place.

• 1:34:42Speaker 06

  What about, are you gonna give it like Luigi's Mansion?

• 1:34:45Speaker 00

  No, no, I don't fuck, I like the real ones. Although I do like, a lot of people hate on Super Mario 2. I do like it. I don't care if that was a rush game that they just slapped Super Mario on. It's still fun. Shucks, I think they took it down.

• 1:34:57Speaker 06

  Did they? Was it AI?

• 1:34:59Speaker 00

  I think the kid attacking him, they probably were like. Give it bad, bad, just special Olympics. Yeah, yeah. But the kid fucking, he's shooting from NBA range.

• 1:35:07Speaker 06

  It's like those videos where they're bouncing the ball off each other's heads. That's how violent they're getting.

• 1:35:11Speaker 01

  My entire is just NBA clips, dude. I fucked up.

• 1:35:14Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:35:15Speaker 01

  The Jordan, the Jordan, LeBron argument, and then now this new.

• 1:35:20Speaker 00

  Spade is gonna go to a.

• 1:35:21Speaker 01

  The new, the kid that bumped Kobe for the all-time points, um, bad shots.

• 1:35:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, bam.

• 1:35:28Speaker 01

  My whole shit's fucked.

• 1:35:30Speaker 00

  I wonder how many Kobe had that night? That was sick.

• 1:35:33Speaker 06

  Eighty-two?

• 1:35:34Speaker 00

  No, no, I mean free throws.

• 1:35:36Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:35:37Speaker 00

  But yeah, this was absurd. Forty-three free throws.

• 1:35:39Speaker 06

  It was, it was impressive, but it was also felt kind of like spamming.

• 1:35:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:35:44Speaker 06

  If someone's like, I just fuck it. Then you go, don't do that.

• 1:35:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:35:48Speaker 06

  You're not really.

• 1:35:49Speaker 00

  They're trying to help him get it.

• 1:35:50Speaker 06

  It's like, uh, when I used to play Tony Hawk and I'd turn off the.

• 1:35:53Speaker 00

  You turn that off?

• 1:35:54Speaker 06

  Just for shit to giggle sometimes. But people would walk in my room and I'd have a five milli.

• 1:35:58Speaker 00

  The manual.

• 1:35:59Speaker 06

  The manual, I'd have five milli going on.

• 1:36:01Speaker 00

  So there's a way, like. You have to balance the manual. They would got really easy once you got the analog stick.

• 1:36:05Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:36:06Speaker 00

  You had to do it with the fucking thing. And then you could turn that off and just get a trillion points and it would be zero forever.

• 1:36:12Speaker 06

  So people would come into my dorm or whatever, and I'd just be chilling there. No, I'd just be chilling in my room. You know, in a beanbag playing Tony Hawk, but I'd be like a three million run.

• 1:36:21Speaker 00

  That's so embarrassing.

• 1:36:22Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:36:22Speaker 00

  If I walked in, I think I, have I ever caught you doing something like that?

• 1:36:26Speaker 06

  What?

• 1:36:26Speaker 00

  Like somebody hitting like Madden, they're up a hundred and forty.

• 1:36:29Speaker 06

  Ow. I, that got all, I got through that before I was twenty. I adjusted, I swear to God.

• 1:36:34Speaker 00

  I played him in Madden. He went and took a piss and I switched mine to rooking, but his on all pro or all Madden. And I was fucking him up for a little bit.

• 1:36:42Speaker 06

  That's great.

• 1:36:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:36:43Speaker 06

  That's great.

• 1:36:43Speaker 00

  He found out. HB screen, HB slip screen, HB slip screen.

• 1:36:48Speaker 06

  That's like Al Qaeda to take out Russia.

• 1:36:51Speaker 06

  I don't, I wouldn't do that, but I like that you did that.

• 1:36:54Speaker 00

  I think. When someone goes, when they're playing a game and they go to piss, you gotta fuck with them.

• 1:36:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, everyone knows.

• 1:37:00Speaker 00

  Moon shadow or night shadow. You know that? Oh yeah, we talked about last episode? He was playing Red Dead and he went to the bank.

• 1:37:08Speaker 06

  Doors, I got my friends.

• 1:37:09Speaker 00

  I put a stick of dynamite and I lit it underneath.

• 1:37:12Speaker 06

  And that blew up everybody.

• 1:37:13Speaker 00

  It was great. He came out and the fuse was lit. He's like, no!

• 1:37:16Speaker 06

  No, you had the gun. You had the gun on him and then you tossed the dynamite. I, but I did do that. I beat my friend in NHL 2001, 34 to 2.

• 1:37:26Speaker 00

  Well, that's great. If you're playing against somebody, yeah.

• 1:37:28Speaker 06

  Yeah, but I was like, let me play it through. Cause there was a glitch on the glove side.

• 1:37:33Speaker 00

  My buddy.

• 1:37:33Speaker 06

  Or stick side. If you could manual.

• 1:37:35Speaker 01

  One of my best friends in high school.

• 1:37:37Speaker 00

  And he deserved it.

• 1:37:38Speaker 01

  In NHL 93, there was a glitch where you could just constantly fucking score and he never didn't do it.

• 1:37:44Speaker 00

  The wrap.

• 1:37:44Speaker 01

  And I would just sit there like, dude.

• 1:37:46Speaker 00

  Is it the wrap around goal?

• 1:37:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was good. I'm in his bedroom like, dude, I'm like, are you serious? And it's just like, never stop.

• 1:37:53Speaker 00

  It's like when Rogan plays people in pool and just annihilate them.

• 1:37:56Speaker 01

  I was seeing it again and I never, I was like, dude, what's happening? This keeps happening.

• 1:37:59Speaker 00

  That was the craziest thing he's ever done.

• 1:38:01Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 1:38:01Speaker 00

  That's your video games. First time I ever, yeah, true. Alright. Same exact thing. First time I did Rogan, first time I did Rogan, we got done and he was like, let's play pool. I was like, okay. I was like, I never played. He was like, just play.

• 1:38:16Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, it's over here.

• 1:38:17Speaker 00

  And I was like, so where do, what should I do with him?

• 1:38:19Speaker 01

  There's a lot of dudes that can't.

• 1:38:20Speaker 00

  And he didn't help me. He just destroyed me in pool for like two hours and then left.

• 1:38:24Speaker 06

  Well, alright, episode comes out in two days.

• 1:38:27Speaker 00

  I was like, this is.

• 1:38:28Speaker 01

  There's a, dude, there's a ton of dudes that can't lay it down and just have fun with pool. They can't do it.

• 1:38:34Speaker 06

  Do you think there was like a song playing, like when Uncle Phil came back and bailed Will out in Fresh Prince to Soul Man? You think Joe Rogan was like, I'm a soul, but it was like a god smack?

• 1:38:46Speaker 00

  Did he, what, my first episode? No.

• 1:38:49Speaker 06

  No, no, no.

• 1:38:49Speaker 00

  I was like, Phil, Uncle Phil and what should we call it? Fresh Prince, bailed him out. So fucking good.

• 1:38:56Speaker 06

  That might be my favorite episode of Fresh Prince.

• 1:38:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, true.

• 1:38:59Speaker 06

  Will's hustling people and then he gets crushed.

• 1:39:01Speaker 00

  They didn't know.

• 1:39:03Speaker 06

  Uncle Phil comes in and just beats the brakes off everybody.

• 1:39:06Speaker 00

  He's Phil from down the way. Did you ever see that thing in Mel, or uh, what's his name, Denzel Washington? Like he starts talking about like stealing shit himself, he's like, they don't know, I'm Denzel from down the way. It's like dude, you've been an actor for 50 years.

• 1:39:17Speaker 01

  But the Will Smith, the Will Smith slap with nuts.

• 1:39:20Speaker 00

  Did he actually go to like Juilliard? Yes, he's an actor. It's like Lil Wayne, remember Lil Wayne? Everyone was like dude, he's so fucking badass and everyone was dude, he went to art school. I think he actually is. I think he actually was very. I think he was the real deal. Shot himself. Yeah.

• 1:39:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, I think they like.

• 1:39:34Speaker 00

  Wheezy seems like the real deal.

• 1:39:35Speaker 06

  Wheezy was like 16 when they put him on.

• 1:39:37Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:39:38Speaker 06

  He handled child fame in the hood. Do you understand the degree of like?

• 1:39:42Speaker 00

  I don't think he, I don't know how well he.

• 1:39:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, he was like.

• 1:39:44Speaker 01

  I mean the kids.

• 1:39:45Speaker 00

  I think he's been a dick.

• 1:39:46Speaker 01

  Remember that YouTube documentary? I've been on cop syrup for 20 years. Those kids couldn't handle that.

• 1:39:51Speaker 00

  50. Spade, Spade had a kid in his neighborhood get killed, he was on a rap document on YouTube.

• 1:39:55Speaker 01

  They made a documentary about these kids, they couldn't even handle like YouTube fame. They started killing each other.

• 1:40:00Speaker 00

  Immediately.

• 1:40:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:01Speaker 00

  Trap Lord Ross, I get on his videos sometimes. I drove home from uh, the, what, what was that place in Virginia? Fucking um, the place that went for sleeping. The last time I laughed as hard as I did earlier. The fuck was a. Monroe is. Monroe's, on the way home, I drove. At the Monroe's.

• 1:40:15Speaker 01

  Remote viewing.

• 1:40:16Speaker 00

  I drove. I think I've showed you the clip.

• 1:40:17Speaker 06

  Oh, he, we talked about it, did we?

• 1:40:19Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's my favorite thing I've ever seen. I drove home from Virginia and watched like a four hour video on O Block. Trap Lord Ross. I just saw a nice, there's a meme going around of O Block. What? Of uh.

• 1:40:30Speaker 01

  Why'd they put up signs?

• 1:40:31Speaker 00

  The squad together and then it's either got a dove or locked up. Or who's dead? Literally the entire squad, there's like 30 dudes, it's like a football photo. Put a plaque up.

• 1:40:39Speaker 06

  That is.

• 1:40:40Speaker 00

  They're all gone.

• 1:40:41Speaker 06

  That is like.

• 1:40:42Speaker 00

  There's one guy that's not in jail or dead.

• 1:40:44Speaker 06

  That's like all, that's like, that also.

• 1:40:46Speaker 00

  It's a fucking. It's crazy, but it has all their nicknames on there too, which is pretty great.

• 1:40:50Speaker 06

  That's great, like fucking squeaky, like little pip, little pip, pip and stop.

• 1:40:54Speaker 00

  Like a dove underneath it, and you're like, god damn. Yeah, they were all tweeting like, I just killed that fucking pussy.

• 1:41:01Speaker 00

  I did it, I'm at.

• 1:41:02Speaker 01

  That was me.

• 1:41:03Speaker 00

  I'm smoking weed we named after.

• 1:41:05Speaker 06

  That's almost the ramp up, where they're like, oh shit, just on Twitter be like.

• 1:41:09Speaker 01

  We're here right now, come get us.

• 1:41:11Speaker 00

  The funniest one though is uh, there was a guy named uh, I think it's Mr. Disrespectful. That, that's the one that died.

• 1:41:16Speaker 01

  That's my neighborhood, yeah.

• 1:41:17Speaker 00

  So I watched that documentary, it was hilarious. He was like.

• 1:41:19Speaker 06

  Hood.

• 1:41:20Speaker 00

  He was like uh, they were like, what's your name? He was like, Mr. Disrespectful. Like, why do they call you that? He's like, I just for real be disrespecting people.

• 1:41:29Speaker 00

  Well, this is how disrespectful it was. He dug up one of his ops graves.

• 1:41:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was wild.

• 1:41:33Speaker 00

  And like danced on it. He dug up the, he killed a guy and then danced on his grave. Yeah. He's dead now. But now he's dead.

• 1:41:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, I live by the sword.

• 1:41:42Speaker 00

  That's the only, I mean, that's like a biblical.

• 1:41:44Speaker 01

  That's OG stuff.

• 1:41:45Speaker 00

  The best in the.

• 1:41:47Speaker 06

  I don't even think, the only, you'd have to cartman their family. It's the only way to be more disrespectful.

• 1:41:53Speaker 01

  This is like grave, maybe grave art time, they did that?

• 1:41:56Speaker 00

  Yeah. But why? It's like, I ain't even gonna call yourself that.

• 1:41:59Speaker 06

  I think that.

• 1:41:59Speaker 00

  Disrespectful.

• 1:42:01Speaker 06

  That move gets him doctor disrespectful.

• 1:42:03Speaker 00

  I think you got a PhD being disrespectful.

• 1:42:06Speaker 06

  You're in up a grave? You're in up a grave? Dude, the only way you can be more disrespectful is if I showed up to fight you in your dead grandmother's clothes.

• 1:42:15Speaker 00

  Even the devil is like, come on, man.

• 1:42:19Speaker 06

  I'm just looking at me. Hey, come on, man.

• 1:42:22Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be so bummed out if it's not the South Park devil.

• 1:42:25Speaker 00

  Dude, she's there. It's good.

• 1:42:26Speaker 01

  If I die, it's not him.

• 1:42:28Speaker 00

  He's like, hi, hey, what's up, guys?

• 1:42:30Speaker 06

  Saddam.

• 1:42:31Speaker 00

  Saddam.

• 1:42:33Speaker 06

  Oh, you're fucking crazy. Oh, you guys are doing it?

• 1:42:37Speaker 00

  You're for real? That was my best joke.

• 1:42:39Speaker 06

  It was my favorite joke.

• 1:42:40Speaker 00

  Never made it.

• 1:42:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:42:41Speaker 00

  I used to do, uh, I was like, when I was opening for Sodra, I'd be like, yo, this is my impression, this is my impression of Allah calling Osama bin Laden the night before nine 11. And just be like.

• 1:42:51Speaker 01

  Dude, that must've been nuts for people.

• 1:42:53Speaker 00

  Plug this to it, dude. You know how much I hate Towers Club, man?

• 1:42:56Speaker 06

  Dude, disrupt the capitalist.

• 1:42:59Speaker 00

  This is Osama, this is the devil calling Osama bin Laden on, on nine 12.

• 1:43:03Speaker 06

  Holy shit, you guys did it? You guys are fucking crazy. Oh, my God.

• 1:43:07Speaker 00

  I don't even know that many girls.

• 1:43:09Speaker 06

  The best part was watching you get excited to do that joke, doing it on steroids. And then when you run out of real estate and you just be like, you guys did it? Anyways.

• 1:43:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's South Park. Anyway.

• 1:43:22Speaker 06

  South Park's it. But it is so funny. Oh, you guys actually did it?

• 1:43:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't, I wish I still had that. I tried my best to hit the fucking thigh slap for you.

• 1:43:30Speaker 06

  It was so, it made me laugh.

• 1:43:32Speaker 00

  I did my best.

• 1:43:32Speaker 06

  It made me laugh really hard.

• 1:43:33Speaker 00

  You hit a thigh slap?

• 1:43:34Speaker 06

  He hit the thigh slap, bringing me up.

• 1:43:36Speaker 00

  No, not the mic. Just.

• 1:43:37Speaker 06

  He did that.

• 1:43:40Speaker 00

  I tried. Fake hump?

• 1:43:41Speaker 06

  Yeah, he did fake hump.

• 1:43:42Speaker 00

  Did like two. Looked over at Dan, just going, oh shit.

• 1:43:45Speaker 06

  It was great.

• 1:43:46Speaker 00

  Hey, what's up, everybody? Yeah, the, the Chicago stuff, they thought they were like for real getting away with it. The cops are like. Fucking killing each other dude, that's like kind of a problem.

• 1:43:54Speaker 01

  We don't have to do anything.

• 1:43:55Speaker 06

  I know, I don't want to say this, but six things easier.

• 1:44:00Speaker 06

  They're actually pretty bad, normally weed kill them. Listen, I've been a Chicago police officer for fifteen years, this is the least I've had to work.

• 1:44:07Speaker 00

  I'll tell you what, I love that King Von.

• 1:44:10Speaker 06

  This guy does my job for me, out of native.

• 1:44:14Speaker 00

  We used to go down and put a gun in the guy's hand, but this fella down in Oblak.

• 1:44:18Speaker 06

  There's a guy.

• 1:44:19Speaker 00

  King Von.

• 1:44:20Speaker 01

  That fucking Farley thing he's having, he's killing me.

• 1:44:22Speaker 00

  Which one?

• 1:44:23Speaker 01

  He's like, let me tell you about this guy, this guy says this, let me tell you about this guy.

• 1:44:27Speaker 00

  I was like talking to a painter on Lutz Bridge, he just never gets to it.

• 1:44:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, now wait for this, this is amazing.

• 1:44:33Speaker 00

  The one that I keep seeing on is Farley, it's when Sandler's the waiter and he's doing the pepper.

• 1:44:38Speaker 06

  So funny, at the Italian restaurant.

• 1:44:40Speaker 00

  Farley breaking Sandler.

• 1:44:41Speaker 06

  Is it Christie Alley?

• 1:44:42Speaker 00

  I'm not sure who the lady is, but it's Farley, or Sandler's like, would you like some cracked peppers? And Farley's at the table, he's like, I would, thank you. He just sees Sandler like.

• 1:44:57Speaker 00

  Why yeah?

• 1:45:00Speaker 00

  Just being a dick.

• 1:45:03Speaker 06

  Man, share rocks.

• 1:45:05Speaker 00

  You know what else rules, you know another good Farley? Anything you want, you ask me, in Dirty Work?

• 1:45:11Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 1:45:11Speaker 00

  And he's like, anything you need.

• 1:45:16Speaker 00

  Can I stay at your place? You see, the thing is this.

• 1:45:20Speaker 01

  Is Dirty Work where he's hitting the dewbox and he's like fifty seven?

• 1:45:25Speaker 00

  Rolling Stones, Street Fight, G seven.

• 1:45:29Speaker 06

  You hit G eight? Oh, you're, right now your nephew's.

• 1:45:35Speaker 00

  Convening for Susan to sleep, yeah, it's like the Chinese going.

• 1:45:38Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:45:39Speaker 00

  Oh, no, Anthony.

• 1:45:42Speaker 07

  Oh.

• 1:45:43Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 1:45:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, what else is going on, fellas? This is a good pod. Oh, dude, did I think that was Vince McMahon being in, um... Isn't he on trial? Like, fucking evil ass hair? I saw him going like a hundred fifty miles an hour.

• 1:45:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, I saw that video. But I, um...

• 1:46:00Speaker 01

  I thought that might have been old.

• 1:46:01Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 1:46:02Speaker 06

  I don't know if he's in trouble. I don't know. That guy straight up looks evil now with his eyes all up.

• 1:46:07Speaker 00

  I think he's also a Boyz with Trump. I think he's fine.

• 1:46:09Speaker 06

  He's like, "I can do whatever I want."

• 1:46:11Speaker 01

  The new, uh...

• 1:46:12Speaker 00

  Definitely gonna be...

• 1:46:12Speaker 01

  New face pulls are freaking me the fuck out.

• 1:46:15Speaker 00

  Spades fucked up over here.

• 1:46:16Speaker 06

  Jim Carrey's one fucked up.

• 1:46:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:18Speaker 00

  Yeah. Was that fake or what was the verdict on that?

• 1:46:21Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 1:46:22Speaker 00

  It's our, it's our new Will Smith slap.

• 1:46:23Speaker 01

  This is the new slap.

• 1:46:24Speaker 00

  Was that really fake?

• 1:46:25Speaker 06

  See Jim Carrey's face and I don't believe it. Which, did you guys think the Jim Car... Did you guys thought the Will Smith, Chris Rock slap was a work?

• 1:46:30Speaker 00

  No, I thought it was just a funny... No, it's just for like three years, you could make someone talk about it.

• 1:46:34Speaker 01

  You're just drinking and you're like, "Dude, do you remember that?"

• 1:46:37Speaker 00

  If you got anyone to talk about it. Make someone talk about it. And they get very interested in it.

• 1:46:40Speaker 01

  They do.

• 1:46:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:46:41Speaker 01

  It was actually just Carrey. Like, the eye color is crazy.

• 1:46:43Speaker 06

  It was nuts.

• 1:46:45Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:46:46Speaker 06

  The slap? Dude, it's crazy.

• 1:46:47Speaker 00

  I think enough time has passed, we can start talking about it again.

• 1:46:49Speaker 01

  The slap out of control.

• 1:46:51Speaker 00

  That was fucking crazy.

• 1:46:52Speaker 01

  I agree with that a lot.

• 1:46:54Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 1:46:55Speaker 06

  Dude, then he sat back down and then won Best Actor.

• 1:46:59Speaker 00

  Best Actor.

• 1:47:00Speaker 06

  He won the Best Award.

• 1:47:01Speaker 00

  Awesome.

• 1:47:01Speaker 01

  Keep my wife's... For what? Out of your mouth.

• 1:47:03Speaker 06

  Could you imagine blowing your nose in Roger Goodell's tie and then winning the Super Bowl?

• 1:47:08Speaker 00

  Serena Williams thing.

• 1:47:09Speaker 01

  Okay, that was good, though.

• 1:47:11Speaker 00

  It was good.

• 1:47:12Speaker 01

  Bitch. That's acting.

• 1:47:14Speaker 00

  Fuck it. He's back, though, right?

• 1:47:16Speaker 01

  He was like King Richard.

• 1:47:16Speaker 06

  No, he tried rapping and it got weird.

• 1:47:19Speaker 00

  No, that one... I like girls.

• 1:47:22Speaker 06

  Girls like, "All right."

• 1:47:22Speaker 01

  And he threw himself to the concert in London with fucking nuts. I'm not gay.

• 1:47:28Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'm not gay and I'm not wearing a wire either.

• 1:47:30Speaker 01

  Billy has like a really extended theory, probably not for here, but about that. That's great.

• 1:47:35Speaker 00

  Just like, once you get into like a rap shoot where you're like, "I need fifteen girls naked dancing around me, I'm not gay." I'm straight and I'm a fucking murderer.

• 1:47:44Speaker 01

  And we're gonna cut it at that and that's that.

• 1:47:47Speaker 06

  The O Block was like, "You got a phone? Follow me."

• 1:47:52Speaker 00

  Follies were about it. Through the crazy videos. No bitches. None. Fifty shirtless black teenagers in a apartment, jumping up and down, pointing guns at the camera.

• 1:48:02Speaker 06

  Being a neighbor?

• 1:48:03Speaker 00

  Literally the scariest videos I've ever seen in my life. I haven't been that scared since Rough Riders and, or, yeah.

• 1:48:08Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:48:09Speaker 00

  BMX.

• 1:48:10Speaker 06

  With the four by fours?

• 1:48:11Speaker 00

  BMX was putting out scary videos.

• 1:48:12Speaker 06

  Well, ATVs?

• 1:48:13Speaker 00

  Obuck. The only other guys that hold it down like that are ISIS. There's never checks in their videos.

• 1:48:18Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:48:19Speaker 00

  People, so they might have to crown. ISIS has, yeah, alright, fair.

• 1:48:23Speaker 01

  They don't rap though.

• 1:48:24Speaker 06

  They could.

• 1:48:25Speaker 00

  I'll say this about US propaganda. They're making it too gay. Oh yeah. Let other people make the clips.

• 1:48:30Speaker 01

  What's up with the White House, uh, real, the, the, the pump me up, uh, intro?

• 1:48:34Speaker 00

  A twenty-three year old is running through Twitter.

• 1:48:36Speaker 01

  The White House Corps, whatever that is.

• 1:48:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, they, that needs to stop.

• 1:48:40Speaker 01

  That's fucking nuts, dude.

• 1:48:42Speaker 00

  That sucks ass.

• 1:48:42Speaker 01

  They did like a bowling one?

• 1:48:44Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:48:44Speaker 01

  You see that?

• 1:48:45Speaker 00

  I think there might be a twenty-three year old at the helm.

• 1:48:47Speaker 06

  Oh, that's absolutely what they did.

• 1:48:50Speaker 00

  It's like, I gotta be honest, it reads thirty.

• 1:48:53Speaker 01

  Who do you think you are, I am?

• 1:48:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, but they were just probably like, hey Rubio, does your nephew wanna run White House Twitter? And he was like, oh, that'd be hilarious. It'd be hilarious to own these.

• 1:49:03Speaker 00

  We're owning the libs.

• 1:49:04Speaker 06

  Oh, oh.

• 1:49:06Speaker 00

  It doesn't matter, dude, I'm gonna o- open the straight.

• 1:49:09Speaker 06

  You're, you're by yourself?

• 1:49:10Speaker 00

  Yeah. You should start another, hey, still a theme park? I'm opening the Strait of Hormuz.

• 1:49:18Speaker 06

  Off the shores of Iran, comedian Shane Gillis.

• 1:49:22Speaker 01

  We have to know someone on the nitties.

• 1:49:23Speaker 06

  Open up, or you're gay.

• 1:49:25Speaker 00

  You guys ever jack off?

• 1:49:27Speaker 06

  Look at this, the ships.

• 1:49:30Speaker 06

  This is you standing on a.

• 1:49:31Speaker 00

  I could speak to ISIS, they would be like, oh, you're a little too gay.

• 1:49:34Speaker 01

  Should've went to that Saudi thing.

• 1:49:35Speaker 00

  Oh yeah. True, fuck.

• 1:49:37Speaker 06

  That was where your connects would have been.

• 1:49:38Speaker 00

  I could have opened the straight.

• 1:49:39Speaker 01

  You lost your pole.

• 1:49:40Speaker 00

  Do it now.

• 1:49:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:49:41Speaker 00

  You think I should go to Riyadh now? Yeah, go.

• 1:49:43Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:49:43Speaker 00

  Just to open the straight.

• 1:49:44Speaker 01

  You're doing it now?

• 1:49:46Speaker 06

  Showing the round, on a floating stage.

• 1:49:49Speaker 00

  On a Chinese barge?

• 1:49:50Speaker 06

  On a belly? Dude, we'll get the Chinese involved.

• 1:49:53Speaker 00

  The Smiley, the pirates are gonna show up and go, actually, this guy's pretty funny.

• 1:49:58Speaker 06

  I saw him, I saw him in the Strait of Hormuz.

• 1:50:03Speaker 06

  He's one of the greatest. Cliff story? Unbelievable, Cliff Live in the Strait of Hormuz.

• 1:50:12Speaker 06

  Cliff story live, straight of Hormuz. It opened up, oil went down to fifty dollars a barrel. Half the price.

• 1:50:19Speaker 00

  Nah, I'm gonna open the straight of Hormuz.

• 1:50:21Speaker 01

  Dude, do you know about Diego Garcia? There's this fucking island, that's like, if you feel like go down into like the Indian Ocean, the British found this fucking island, dude. And they can hit Asia, they can hit everywhere if they just take this over. So they took it over, it's like fifty fucking years ago or whatever. And they can do whatever the fuck they want.

• 1:50:43Speaker 00

  Who, the British?

• 1:50:43Speaker 01

  The British.

• 1:50:44Speaker 00

  They'll do nothing.

• 1:50:45Speaker 01

  And I, and Trump got busted, he was like, dude.

• 1:50:47Speaker 00

  England's a state.

• 1:50:48Speaker 01

  I'll show it to you, it's fucking nice.

• 1:50:50Speaker 00

  England is nothing at this, they sent one boat.

• 1:50:53Speaker 06

  And we're there.

• 1:50:54Speaker 00

  And bombs the falls here.

• 1:50:56Speaker 06

  Don't worry, we helped you.

• 1:50:58Speaker 00

  England are bombs these days.

• 1:51:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, but you don't wanna get warmed up. They're like, they could be like Jankos, they could come back.

• 1:51:04Speaker 00

  True, for sure, I mean, they're capable of pure evil.

• 1:51:07Speaker 06

  They're gonna be back going. Is that, are we back to colonizing? They're the only one who had the real white slaves. Yeah. They had a hog down, bro. Yeah. Dude, you really think about that? They come back like John Wick. They're like, oh, you, we're gonna make them slaves, the white ones.

• 1:51:27Speaker 01

  And like, Trump, Trump said some shit, I can't, I don't know, it's some shit.

• 1:51:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, Trump will let, uh, classified, he'll let classified shit slip in every meeting.

• 1:51:35Speaker 01

  I swear to God, dude.

• 1:51:36Speaker 06

  He's married, cuz if he was trying to get pussy still.

• 1:51:38Speaker 01

  Pull him out, dude.

• 1:51:40Speaker 06

  It takes one spot.

• 1:51:41Speaker 01

  The thing snapped on his finger and he's like, I would've hid the pain.

• 1:51:44Speaker 00

  He's definitely still trying to get pussy.

• 1:51:45Speaker 06

  Oh, no, I know, but I'm saying, if it was out, no.

• 1:51:48Speaker 00

  I don't think marriage has ever held that boy back.

• 1:51:49Speaker 06

  I don't think Melania was, he's like, I can't, I love Melania. Did you watch the movie?

• 1:51:55Speaker 01

  Well, I started it, it's.

• 1:51:56Speaker 00

  The Melania movie? I cannot wait to see it.

• 1:52:01Speaker 06

  You gotta make La Mer and Nate watch it with you. Oh, yeah.

• 1:52:04Speaker 01

  It's really well shot.

• 1:52:05Speaker 06

  I kinda just wanna wa, I just wanna watch it.

• 1:52:07Speaker 00

  It's gonna be hilarious.

• 1:52:08Speaker 01

  Dude, you know what's nuts? It's like, the soundtrack must've cost a fortune.

• 1:52:12Speaker 06

  Well, they got sued. No, no, they got sued by all.

• 1:52:14Speaker 01

  Stones?

• 1:52:15Speaker 06

  No, no, all, like, all the bands that are in it, they just took all the music they wanted and put it in.

• 1:52:21Speaker 01

  It's like a Pump Me Up vid with drone footage and shit.

• 1:52:24Speaker 00

  With hot Melania walking around?

• 1:52:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:26Speaker 00

  Alright, I will have to, I will have to sit them.

• 1:52:29Speaker 01

  But it gets beat, they, she goes in like fashion shit and there's a bunch of dudes like measuring her for dresses, I was like, I'm shutting this up.

• 1:52:34Speaker 00

  Not for you.

• 1:52:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:35Speaker 00

  I wouldn't mind watching the measurements. What's going on there?

• 1:52:38Speaker 01

  Nah, it's poor shots me. When you get to the part, you'll shut it off too.

• 1:52:41Speaker 00

  Okay, well, I'm not gonna ever watch it.

• 1:52:44Speaker 00

  I will never watch that. It might have been a secret message in there or something.

• 1:52:47Speaker 01

  I just wanted to see what it was.

• 1:52:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, they turned them all into Manchurian candidates. Yeah, do you know if you watched Melania, that was what MKUltra led to.

• 1:52:55Speaker 01

  I mean, I think.

• 1:52:56Speaker 06

  Was Melania.

• 1:52:57Speaker 00

  So wait, does your boy, your guy's boy, Trump, that you guys voted for, does he?

• 1:53:02Speaker 01

  This, right now, we're on Rocky.

• 1:53:03Speaker 00

  That you guys voted for.

• 1:53:04Speaker 01

  Uh, it's.

• 1:53:05Speaker 00

  You actually.

• 1:53:06Speaker 01

  I got style.

• 1:53:06Speaker 00

  How wholesome he was, literally five minutes ago. When? You're like, dude, he's the man. You gotta admit it. When? Last week. Last week? Yeah. Oh, no, that was, uh, you said he didn't have the juice. I said he still definitely has the juice.

• 1:53:19Speaker 06

  He doesn't need juice.

• 1:53:20Speaker 00

  The juice is. No, no, no, no. When he comes to shit talking, the boy's still got it. You were trying to say he lost a step? He's losing a little bit.

• 1:53:26Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, his fastball is not.

• 1:53:28Speaker 00

  No, no.

• 1:53:28Speaker 06

  It's hittable now.

• 1:53:30Speaker 00

  As soon as he said it, I watched him.

• 1:53:31Speaker 01

  His hair looks great.

• 1:53:32Speaker 00

  I watched him throw about one of six.

• 1:53:33Speaker 01

  Right now, his hair looks amazing.

• 1:53:35Speaker 00

  Two one of six.

• 1:53:36Speaker 06

  He's like Nolan Ryan at the end. Remember Nolan Ryan was like?

• 1:53:39Speaker 01

  That was a great documentary.

• 1:53:40Speaker 00

  I just listened.

• 1:53:41Speaker 01

  That was a great.

• 1:53:41Speaker 00

  I just listened to Bill say he lost his fastball. Then I watched a clip of him going, I just passed a fucking test. That would be impossible for you. You too. And I said, this guy's still got it. What are we talking? Now, I'm not, now, the juice is different than. When he got hit with Epstein. When he got hit with Epstein and he let her pretty much hit, like, why are we fighting? He's like, what? Why are we fighting? Talking about him? That was a low point. That was bad. That was a low point. As far as juice goes, low point, the juice.

• 1:54:07Speaker 06

  Oh, what about?

• 1:54:08Speaker 00

  What? What are you guys talking?

• 1:54:10Speaker 01

  I have a retarded theory that Obama and Trump are actually friends, and this has all been a psyop to wrap up the Middle East. We're just gonna wrap it up. We're gonna put in a little bow. It's gonna be ours. And they pretended that they were.

• 1:54:23Speaker 00

  Close.

• 1:54:23Speaker 01

  They were pretending that they were enemies.

• 1:54:25Speaker 00

  Now, this could be the end of us.

• 1:54:26Speaker 01

  Obama was actually like, you know what you'll never be is President of the United States. And that was actually like a little like dubbing, like, dude, you will be the President of the United.

• 1:54:33Speaker 00

  This is what you don't understand, though, Shane. You play this, right?

• 1:54:36Speaker 01

  Five each, yes.

• 1:54:37Speaker 00

  You play this. Trump plays it with five at a time. It's Obama? It's true. Yeah, we, there's a, there's a lot of dudes on the internet right now, like. Going with some crazy theories and they're like, it's chess and it's 5D. Trump's in control. I did see that.

• 1:54:54Speaker 06

  Guys.

• 1:54:55Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:54:55Speaker 06

  Guys.

• 1:54:56Speaker 00

  It was the dumbest. Fucking tweet I saw.

• 1:54:58Speaker 01

  Made up.

• 1:54:59Speaker 00

  It was 5D. He was like, it's chess, it's 5D. And he goes, the reason we took Venezuela, so we could take Iran. And it's like, I could have come up with that one. Exactly, do it.

• 1:55:11Speaker 06

  It's your friend who dates a stripper who swears she's not a slut. She's not a slut.

• 1:55:17Speaker 00

  That's what I was talking. She likes to dance. Last week of the dudes posting videos of the war.

• 1:55:22Speaker 01

  Artistic expression.

• 1:55:23Speaker 00

  She's dancing.

• 1:55:23Speaker 06

  She's dancing. How much money do you make?

• 1:55:24Speaker 00

  You're a hooker.

• 1:55:26Speaker 06

  How much money are you making tonight?

• 1:55:27Speaker 00

  You're a hooker. Possibly. Yeah. Yeah, that's the greatest. No, the dudes, the dudes who post videos on fucking Twitter. Kevin Nash. Tel Aviv is getting bombed to hell and someone's like, that's not Tel Aviv, that's actually from 2016. And they just said, I mean dude, it's a fuck of war. It's like, you're literally on Twitter.

• 1:55:43Speaker 01

  It's a fuck of war.

• 1:55:45Speaker 00

  I don't even know, I don't know where to find a single piece of information. It's done.

• 1:55:50Speaker 06

  Oh, done. That's honestly, the greatest win in Russia's history was just destroying us having Valif.

• 1:55:57Speaker 00

  Now, you're being tricked into thinking Russia gives a fuck. Russia's doing nothing, dude. Who gives a fuck about Russia? Ever see that dude?

• 1:56:03Speaker 06

  He's not doing anything. You know what it is probably?

• 1:56:05Speaker 00

  He can't even win Ukraine.

• 1:56:06Speaker 06

  You know when you're, you know when you, uh, when you just have a headache and you just always attribute it to hungover?

• 1:56:10Speaker 00

  You go fucking Russia.

• 1:56:12Speaker 06

  Hungover, you go Russia, Russia's like, I don't even.

• 1:56:14Speaker 00

  Now, you're getting close, there's one more step.

• 1:56:16Speaker 01

  Tell it in the Cold War, kids.

• 1:56:17Speaker 00

  It's not Russia. You gotta get the real headache. Yup. You'll get there. And then you're gonna go.

• 1:56:24Speaker 00

  Yo, this.

• 1:56:25Speaker 06

  I got a feeling.

• 1:56:28Speaker 00

  None of my problems real, it is real.

• 1:56:32Speaker 06

  Why do they make all our decisions?

• 1:56:37Speaker 01

  It's like that thing with the IQ charts, like.

• 1:56:40Speaker 00

  Russia's low IQ, no offense. I love that Jews waving Russia is the equivalent of my dad being like, Iran's gonna nuke us. Trump's a Russian spy.

• 1:56:48Speaker 06

  You go Russia and then you go, it's not.

• 1:56:50Speaker 00

  It's not Russia.

• 1:56:51Speaker 06

  But, it's somebody.

• 1:56:55Speaker 00

  And I'll give you a hint.

• 1:56:57Speaker 06

  Canada the whole time.

• 1:57:01Speaker 00

  I'll give you a hint who it is. I'm not allowed to say who it is. Is he actually gonna do a concert there? No, that's AI. Oh, fuck. If he did a concert at Hillel, either they would kill, somebody would kill him. You ever watched a video like, it was like? Or the? Kanye did Hillel.

• 1:57:16Speaker 01

  I thought Berensol doing Dog Day was AI.

• 1:57:19Speaker 00

  So did I.

• 1:57:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:20Speaker 00

  That's fucking crazy. But you ever watched a documentary about the monster next door? You ever see it? About the guy who like worked at a factory? We've talked about this. Yeah. Uh, it's the guy who worked at a like Ford factory and they were like, aren't you the butcher of Treblinka? And he was like, what?

• 1:57:37Speaker 01

  They're like, how did you get here?

• 1:57:38Speaker 00

  He got sent to Israel for a trial. Yeah. He was just like a?

• 1:57:43Speaker 01

  A random dude.

• 1:57:44Speaker 00

  The best part of the whole fucking thing. Maybe. He might be the butcher. The best part of the entire? They were like, you're the guy who worked at the concentration camp, right?

• 1:57:52Speaker 01

  No, they have a trial and the guy goes, how did he get here? He's like, by a train over the ocean.

• 1:58:00Speaker 00

  My favorite though is, I used to, yeah, I used to talk about doing that as a bit and then Louis, nevermind. But just the idea of a guy at like a factory, just like pushing fucking buttons and then somebody being like, aren't you the fucking butcher of Dakar?

• 1:58:14Speaker 01

  I was just showing Billy, uh?

• 1:58:16Speaker 00

  Stop, oh, just? Don't say that.

• 1:58:19Speaker 01

  Look at Shane.

• 1:58:21Speaker 00

  Yo, I swear to God, you were an SS officer. It's like, shut the fuck up, dude. Stop joking around about that.

• 1:58:28Speaker 00

  You're on a flight, you're like looking down at Jerusalem like, oh shit.

• 1:58:32Speaker 01

  Do you remember the old Lucky Louie?

• 1:58:33Speaker 00

  Going to Israel.

• 1:58:34Speaker 01

  Remember the old Lucky Louie clip when he's in an AA meeting and he's like, you guys are just all assholes?

• 1:58:39Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:58:40Speaker 01

  Do you remember this? I just shared it to Bill.

• 1:58:41Speaker 00

  Very good.

• 1:58:42Speaker 01

  No. It's a good ass fucking show.

• 1:58:43Speaker 00

  Lucky Louie was great on HBO. In that documentary, there's a, he goes to Jerusalem and he has to get a lawyer and everyone's like, no one's picking a lawyer.

• 1:58:52Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:58:53Speaker 00

  The lawyer, Jewish dude rolls up in a Porsche like, I'll do it.

• 1:58:58Speaker 00

  How many people, he's the greatest. How many people did you kill? Yeesh. We could get him out. What's your 401K? I gotta fit, that guy's name is fucking classic. What is that called? Monster next door? Yes. Monster next door. Devil next door. What was the, what, what, what was his ethnicity? Was he Ukrainian?

• 1:59:14Speaker 01

  Polish.

• 1:59:15Speaker 00

  Polish.

• 1:59:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:16Speaker 00

  It was hilarious. He's like from Cleveland.

• 1:59:18Speaker 01

  In a Polish neighborhood?

• 1:59:19Speaker 00

  It's the people, the Polish people in Cleveland are like, he wouldn't do that. He's the head of our sauerkraut club.

• 1:59:27Speaker 00

  Yoram Sheftal. Yoram Sheftal. I'll take her fucking case. Rolls up Anna Port.

• 1:59:35Speaker 06

  I'm gonna watch this. I'm excited to watch this documentary.

• 1:59:37Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 1:59:38Speaker 00

  It's great. Also, you really, yeah, you'll see.

• 1:59:41Speaker 06

  You'll see.

• 1:59:41Speaker 00

  You're not gonna know.

• 1:59:42Speaker 06

  I'm gonna watch it.

• 1:59:43Speaker 00

  Israel's evil ass.

• 1:59:45Speaker 06

  I got WBC and I got fucking this documentary.

• 1:59:49Speaker 00

  WBC.

• 1:59:50Speaker 01

  What's WBC?

• 1:59:50Speaker 06

  World Baseball Club.

• 1:59:51Speaker 00

  Baseball, dude, we lost to the WAPs.

• 1:59:53Speaker 06

  Did we? Dude, the WAP, I'm gonna tell you right now, Italy's a fun team.

• 1:59:56Speaker 01

  Severnian in the Olympics.

• 1:59:57Speaker 00

  Aaron Nola was dealing tonight.

• 1:59:58Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:59:59Speaker 00

  It's like all the countries play each other. Yesterday.

• 2:00:00Speaker 01

  I didn't even know this was a thing.

• 2:00:02Speaker 06

  They, uh, Italy rules.

• 2:00:04Speaker 00

  Italy, well, they're not actually Italian. They're all just American dudes. Yeah.

• 2:00:08Speaker 06

  It's 90% American guys.

• 2:00:10Speaker 01

  What's up with the, if you're in the Olympics, right, and you are American, and you have like another heritage? Like, what is with that?

• 2:00:18Speaker 00

  You talking about that lady skiing for China?

• 2:00:20Speaker 01

  I'm confused about that.

• 2:00:21Speaker 00

  Cause, I'll tell you what, I'm confused too, and I was a confused person, gave her a l illusion. Cause I don't like the support for this lady.

• 2:00:27Speaker 01

  I don't understand this.

• 2:00:28Speaker 06

  I didn't even do enough fact finding to find out. If she got paid to do it, fuck that noise.

• 2:00:34Speaker 01

  Well, you used to have to be an amateur.

• 2:00:36Speaker 06

  I don't even like it though. I don't like it at all.

• 2:00:38Speaker 00

  China over America?

• 2:00:39Speaker 06

  No.

• 2:00:39Speaker 00

  Come on, man.

• 2:00:40Speaker 06

  The one, the only one I understand.

• 2:00:42Speaker 00

  And she's incredible at what she does.

• 2:00:43Speaker 06

  WBC, I understand, because USA.

• 2:00:46Speaker 00

  Nothing but respect.

• 2:00:47Speaker 06

  Oh, she rips. She rips. Isn't she a skier?

• 2:00:51Speaker 00

  Nothing but respect.

• 2:00:52Speaker 06

  WBC, I'm cool with it, cause USA doesn't take a lot of guys, and then guys go all wanna play.

• 2:00:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, WBC is, there's no rules. You can be, your grandma can be from, she can be half a.

• 2:01:03Speaker 06

  Dude, there's a white catcher on the Dominican Republic. Dude, look up the white catcher on the, they don't give a fuck. It's so funny. He looks like the one white kid in the hood.

• 2:01:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:01:12Speaker 06

  And they're all like, and they watch him dance, and they're like, every time they score, then he's like.

• 2:01:16Speaker 00

  Dominican Republic's playing Japan.

• 2:01:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, uh, no, they're playing Korea. Venezuela's playing Japan.

• 2:01:21Speaker 00

  Oh, it's Venezuela.

• 2:01:22Speaker 06

  Venezuela's fucking got a squad though. That was a great game last night.

• 2:01:25Speaker 00

  Damn, it sucks, it sucks Israel got dry. It would've been nice Venezuela-Israel.

• 2:01:29Speaker 06

  Venezuela-Israel, great. That would've been the ideal matchup.

• 2:01:33Speaker 00

  It would've been.

• 2:01:33Speaker 06

  Venezuela, it's crazy to watch them, and you go, you just don't even have a leader right now.

• 2:01:39Speaker 00

  Wasn't one kid like an electrician who just, there, shut up, we can stay up. We can stay up as late as we want. I don't even have, it's like, we ate, I ate a cream for breakfast. Ah, we're Venezuela. No, bro.

• 2:01:52Speaker 06

  No, the, but Italy's fun. Vinnie Pasquantino, uh, Pat, the Pasquatch.

• 2:01:55Speaker 00

  My dog, bro.

• 2:01:56Speaker 06

  He's the man. Can you hear show?

• 2:01:57Speaker 00

  Little story about the Pasquatch.

• 2:01:59Speaker 06

  Pasquatch is the fucking man.

• 2:02:01Speaker 00

  He's the bro. That's just Italian, have you guys can play for Italy?

• 2:02:03Speaker 06

  Dude, he.

• 2:02:04Speaker 00

  Hold on, did I tell you that you know the Pasquatch story? No.

• 2:02:07Speaker 06

  Sky rules. This guy's the first baseman for the Kansas City Royals.

• 2:02:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:02:11Speaker 06

  Cool as hell.

• 2:02:12Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:02:13Speaker 06

  Huge WWE.

• 2:02:14Speaker 00

  I forgot you were.

• 2:02:15Speaker 06

  It was great.

• 2:02:16Speaker 00

  It was.

• 2:02:18Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:02:19Speaker 00

  So he, we, we did a show in Cleveland. The Royals were playing the Cleveland Indian, uh, the Guardians. They, excuse me, excuse me. Thank you. She looks good. Now, uh,

• 2:02:30Speaker 00

  thank you for getting her correct pronouns. They look good. That's crazy that they got to, but, uh, it must have been the back, but he took the back, now he's using proper pronouns. Me? Uh, yeah, you did that earlier. But we do a show, no dude, COVID-19 A4.

• 2:02:47Speaker 06

  Busting out. Well, he's busting out the shirt till now. It's fantastic.

• 2:02:51Speaker 00

  Uh, but no, they, a couple of the guys from the Royals came to the show and then most of the guys were like, yeah, we gotta, gotta dip out. We got a game tomorrow. Not the Pasquatch.

• 2:03:02Speaker 06

  Do you Pasquatch had a?

• 2:03:03Speaker 00

  Pasquatch said.

• 2:03:04Speaker 06

  Coldest line I've ever heard.

• 2:03:04Speaker 00

  I'm DHing tomorrow. I don't give a fuck. Let's have a little fun.

• 2:03:08Speaker 06

  He goes, he goes, you guys going out? He goes, you guys going out after the show? We go, yeah. And the, and like Bobby Wood Jr. And like all the Royals. All the Royals were like, all right, we're going back. We got a, uh, we gotta play tomorrow during the day.

• 2:03:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was a day.

• 2:03:22Speaker 06

  And Pasquatch like looks down, he goes, you guys going out? He go, yeah. He goes, fuck it, I'm DHing. I'll go out with you guys. And then right as he said that, Shane goes, hundred dollars, you're gonna hit a home run. And Pa, and Vinnie was like, book it. And then we went out, we drank. Do we land in, we land in, uh, where was the next?

• 2:03:41Speaker 00

  No, we were, we were going to a casino. Party. And we get to a red light.

• 2:03:46Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:03:47Speaker 00

  And you can see Pasquatch was thinking to himself, should probably get to bed. I gotta play the Cleveland Indians tomorrow. He just gets out of the fucking Uber and goes. At a red light, he was like, he's, he'd been silent for like 15 minutes and before that he was chatting a little. And then all of a sudden you can see the wheels were turned in for a while. And he goes, you know what, guys? I gotta go in.

• 2:04:09Speaker 00

  He got out of the red light.

• 2:04:10Speaker 06

  I respected it cause it was, it was the best duck and roll I've seen out of a car in a while. And he just disappeared into the night and then we went.

• 2:04:17Speaker 00

  Next, next day? Goes yard. Damn. Hit the homerun.

• 2:04:22Speaker 06

  Really?

• 2:04:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:04:23Speaker 06

  Dude, hit bottom of the fourth.

• 2:04:24Speaker 00

  He's the man.

• 2:04:25Speaker 06

  Katie was going nuts. I told her about it and we landed in fucking DC. She's like, city win yard. And I was like, dude, city win yard. He's like, no, you fucking. We looked her up. It was great.

• 2:04:35Speaker 00

  And Bobby sent me a picture of him in his fucking, in the ice bath.

• 2:04:41Speaker 00

  Guy's a legend, dude.

• 2:04:43Speaker 06

  So he's on team Italy, right? But he's like their leader. He's like their glue guy.

• 2:04:48Speaker 00

  He's also the captain.

• 2:04:49Speaker 06

  Yeah. He's like locker room. Locker room guy.

• 2:04:51Speaker 00

  Not just locker, dude. He had three home runs in there last.

• 2:04:54Speaker 06

  Well, he was 0 for 12 before that.

• 2:04:56Speaker 00

  I know, he's zero.

• 2:04:57Speaker 06

  But he does, they have an espresso machine in the dugout. So when you hit a homerun, you drink an espresso.

• 2:05:02Speaker 00

  Holy fuck. My jacket and they all go.

• 2:05:04Speaker 06

  And they put on an Armani jacket. They go like this.

• 2:05:08Speaker 00

  Dude, they're up 8-0 on the United States. Where does this take place? Houston.

• 2:05:12Speaker 06

  And Miami and San Juan, Puerto Rico and Tokyo. Now it's down to Houston.

• 2:05:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, it'll be in Miami and Houston.

• 2:05:19Speaker 06

  Miami.

• 2:05:19Speaker 00

  We're just Houston.

• 2:05:20Speaker 06

  Is America still in it? Yeah.

• 2:05:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, thank God. We needed Italy to beat Mexico and we did it.

• 2:05:25Speaker 06

  Yeah, dude, our, our. Who do we have? Like, who do we have? Oh dude, our team is crazy. Bryce Harper, Aaron Judge. Alright, we got everybody. Everybody.

• 2:05:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, but we tried to.

• 2:05:35Speaker 06

  Charles forward.

• 2:05:37Speaker 00

  We tried to rest, we tried to rest some boys against the WAPs.

• 2:05:40Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 2:05:40Speaker 00

  And the WAPs went nuts. It was 8-0.

• 2:05:42Speaker 06

  Dude, they put up leading on.

• 2:05:44Speaker 00

  Fucking killed us.

• 2:05:45Speaker 06

  Those Italians are good with bats.

• 2:05:46Speaker 00

  Which was funny because the first, the first homerun and they're all doing the espresso shit. Yeah, that's fun. They're having a good time. That's cute. 8-0, you're going, these motherfuckers do that and they turn on their country.

• 2:05:56Speaker 06

  They go, he's fucking, they're checking the. It's the size of war. Yeah, exactly.

• 2:06:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, who would have thought the WAPs weren't gonna be loyal?

• 2:06:03Speaker 06

  First, first inning, you're like, this is, this is a lot of fun culture.

• 2:06:07Speaker 00

  Yo, this is hilarious.

• 2:06:08Speaker 06

  Sixth inning, you go, glaucoma nostril. These fucking pieces of shit.

• 2:06:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, I became Elliot Ness real quick. We gotta put an end to this shit.

• 2:06:16Speaker 06

  Follow the money, follow the money. But Aaron Judge fucking had a chance to win it. We had two runners on, bottom of the ninth, two outs, and he fucking struck out. Italy got us. He's a physical freak, dude. Yeah, he's crazy.

• 2:06:29Speaker 00

  Were you there? At the Garden when he was there?

• 2:06:32Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:06:32Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:06:33Speaker 06

  That was it. It was.

• 2:06:34Speaker 00

  It would have been nice for you to be.

• 2:06:35Speaker 01

  Wait, he was at your show?

• 2:06:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:06:37Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 2:06:38Speaker 00

  He is a horse.

• 2:06:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, he looks like a horse man.

• 2:06:40Speaker 00

  It's hilarious.

• 2:06:41Speaker 01

  He's a horse man. He looks like a.

• 2:06:42Speaker 00

  He walks into a room and you go, what the?

• 2:06:44Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 2:06:45Speaker 00

  But also it's because he's proportionally correct.

• 2:06:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I mean.

• 2:06:48Speaker 00

  We've seen all of that. I've seen this before, dude. It's terrifying. We were in Arizona. We saw this dude.

• 2:06:53Speaker 01

  Dude, remember that?

• 2:06:54Speaker 00

  Crazy.

• 2:06:54Speaker 01

  Dude, we were in Arizona. We saw this cowboy walking into a coffee shop and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. And Billy was like, yo, Spade, walk up to that dude. And it was like.

• 2:07:03Speaker 00

  He was huge. Was he proportionally correct?

• 2:07:04Speaker 01

  But he was proportional with a cowboy hat, jeans, like, normal height and everything.

• 2:07:08Speaker 00

  He was like an NBA player you can watch walk by and it's all bones. Yeah. Free, like, long arms. He's huge. A proportionally correct dude that's 6'8"?

• 2:07:16Speaker 06

  It's crazy.

• 2:07:16Speaker 00

  He's fucking hilarious.

• 2:07:21Speaker 06

  Well, like LeBron's 6'9" and he's pretty.

• 2:07:23Speaker 00

  He's pretty proportional.

• 2:07:24Speaker 06

  He's pretty proportional.

• 2:07:24Speaker 01

  I can't watch him with his IC selfie highlights.

• 2:07:28Speaker 00

  Oh, you're a good team, Jordan.

• 2:07:30Speaker 01

  No, they just send me all this, like, LeBron flops.

• 2:07:32Speaker 00

  LeBron, no.

• 2:07:33Speaker 06

  Do you know what's funny is my algorithm is all Larry Bird shit talk videos.

• 2:07:37Speaker 01

  You see the Dr. Dre, Gillie?

• 2:07:39Speaker 06

  Oh, I just love all of them.

• 2:07:41Speaker 00

  Those bros keys, would you? We had it in the bird.

• 2:07:43Speaker 01

  Everyone was great.

• 2:07:44Speaker 00

  I'm gonna need a beard, dude.

• 2:07:45Speaker 06

  Oh, I love Larry. I love Larry Legend, dude.

• 2:07:47Speaker 00

  Fucking rules. The heck from Turner.

• 2:07:49Speaker 01

  Dr. Dre was making, Gillie and Dr. Dre were making fun of Bird's neck. It was wild.

• 2:07:52Speaker 00

  Did you see, uh, I think it was Doc Rivers. He played for the Hawks when Larry was like, I'm gonna hit this three in this corner. And then he did and you see the entire Hawks bench, because it was right in front of their bench, like.

• 2:08:07Speaker 06

  There's a story that.

• 2:08:09Speaker 00

  The coach came in the next day and, like, put it on film. It was like.

• 2:08:12Speaker 01

  Did you watch the ABA thing?

• 2:08:14Speaker 00

  Fuck. Dude, he was trying to stop him. The what?

• 2:08:16Speaker 01

  Daniel, you guys watched the ABA thing?

• 2:08:18Speaker 00

  She was slick.

• 2:08:19Speaker 01

  They made a whole documentary on the ABA.

• 2:08:22Speaker 00

  Oh, five and a half.

• 2:08:23Speaker 01

  It's like pretty new.

• 2:08:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:08:24Speaker 06

  Oh, absolutely watch that.

• 2:08:27Speaker 00

  Scoring a hundred though, Wilt is the goat. Well, that's retarded.

• 2:08:30Speaker 06

  Well, a hundred points and then just fucking.

• 2:08:33Speaker 00

  Everybody.

• 2:08:34Speaker 06

  By the way, illegally probably at the time, he's taking down white ladies and they're like. Yo. He's like, one hundred.

• 2:08:40Speaker 00

  What are you gonna do about it?

• 2:08:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'm up here, he just holds white women up here, like cookies on top of their fridge here. That's it, give it back my life. God damn it, Wilt Chamberlain.

• 2:08:50Speaker 00

  You ever see him like doing track? He's somewhat proportional. He is slightly proportional.

• 2:08:56Speaker 06

  Yeah, there's that clip of him being like, him and Michael Jordan, or Bill Walton's telling the story.

• 2:09:02Speaker 00

  Is it the elevator?

• 2:09:03Speaker 06

  No, about they're at the nineties all, all century team or whatever and Wilt and Michael Jordan arguing about who's the best of all time? And someone's like, well, championships or whatever. And then Wilt's like, you know, my friend was telling me that the other day. And he's got 11 of them and he was talking about Bill Russell and you're like, oh shit. But he got him at the end, you're like, oh.

• 2:09:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:09:28Speaker 06

  Wilt Chamberlain scored a hundred points with no three pointer.

• 2:09:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, they got a whole.

• 2:09:33Speaker 00

  When you watch Wilt highlights, it is funny because he is good. Yeah. Like he like, looks almost modern.

• 2:09:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:09:40Speaker 01

  When you watch the soul power thing, they, they show the, in the soul power game.

• 2:09:46Speaker 06

  Whoa, watch out.

• 2:09:46Speaker 01

  They show the old A, the, before the ABA, they show the old NBA and it's so beat. And then they're like, dude, they, they brought in a three pointer. It was.

• 2:09:56Speaker 00

  That like laces on the ball.

• 2:09:58Speaker 06

  Yeah, but they can tackle each other. That's what's crazy.

• 2:10:01Speaker 00

  That's where Bill Laimbeer came in.

• 2:10:02Speaker 06

  Yo, the eighty nine Pistons.

• 2:10:04Speaker 00

  Shout out Notre Dame.

• 2:10:06Speaker 06

  Bill Laimbeer was a problem. He was just pissing everyone off. He was the original rage bait.

• 2:10:09Speaker 00

  Stunk dude, you might have averaged fucking five and eight.

• 2:10:12Speaker 06

  Slap people's arms.

• 2:10:14Speaker 01

  You know what's weird about the, um, the Montana documentary was that he played basketball.

• 2:10:18Speaker 06

  Oh, Gil Montana?

• 2:10:19Speaker 01

  Joe Montana was like as good at basketball as he was at football.

• 2:10:23Speaker 00

  No shot.

• 2:10:24Speaker 06

  He was a running quarterback.

• 2:10:25Speaker 01

  In the documentary, they're like, he was good.

• 2:10:28Speaker 00

  That's wild. I used to be obsessed with Jim. Laimbeer averaged nine and five, I was close. Nine and five? Yeah. That's like my stats. And he's a legend just because he was a honk. He on Detroit.

• 2:10:38Speaker 06

  He was a honk on Detroit that would cause problems for people. People hated Bill Laimbeer.

• 2:10:43Speaker 00

  You know Laimbeer?

• 2:10:44Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:10:45Speaker 06

  Watch anything you can find.

• 2:10:46Speaker 00

  Hilarious dude.

• 2:10:47Speaker 06

  Watch anything.

• 2:10:48Speaker 00

  He would just go out and fight all the best players.

• 2:10:51Speaker 06

  Dude, hard fouls, he'd be like, yeah, he was a goon. He was straight up a goon and he wouldn't get it. He was a six foot ten goon. He was like, I'll slap that guy.

• 2:10:59Speaker 00

  That's like Hack a Shack. It'd like throw to baby, be like, yeah, I'm gonna punch Michael Jordan in the mouth. All right, get out there, you fucking idiot.

• 2:11:07Speaker 00

  Did they put people in for Shaq?

• 2:11:08Speaker 06

  And they would just go like, ah, just club his fucking forearms.

• 2:11:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, Shaq, fucking.

• 2:11:13Speaker 06

  Please stop doing that.

• 2:11:14Speaker 00

  Diesel's king. He's early. Diesel's my favorite player ever.

• 2:11:17Speaker 06

  Number one with a bullet.

• 2:11:19Speaker 00

  She's got me, dude.

• 2:11:21Speaker 06

  He just came in, he's like, I don't know. Oh, yeah. Oh.

• 2:11:24Speaker 01

  Free throws.

• 2:11:25Speaker 06

  Shaq fool. He's like, I wanna dunk. Do you want me to dunk it? Yeah.

• 2:11:30Speaker 00

  His bed in MTV Cribs fucked me up. Yeah, it was a little scary. Yeah, it's fucking bad. I remember that even, yeah, I never saw it. Yeah, Blue Chips rocked.

• 2:11:37Speaker 01

  Was that, like, what part of his career is that?

• 2:11:39Speaker 06

  He was a rookie, he was a rookie with the magic.

• 2:11:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was early.

• 2:11:42Speaker 06

  Because that's why Anthony Hardaway was in it too.

• 2:11:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:11:45Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:11:46Speaker 06

  He didn't even want it. Jay and I used to do the Nick Nolte from Blue Chips constantly.

• 2:11:50Speaker 01

  Blue Chips is a great fucking movie.

• 2:11:57Speaker 06

  Dude, Nick Nolte is the best of Blue Chip. He's like, ah, tell me you didn't shave it. He's just, they.

• 2:12:03Speaker 00

  What do you like better? Blue Chips or?

• 2:12:06Speaker 07

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola for everyone. Take out some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 2:12:36Speaker 08

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• 2:13:06Speaker 06

  He got game.

• 2:13:07Speaker 01

  Dude, both of them are rape.

• 2:13:09Speaker 06

  He got game.

• 2:13:09Speaker 01

  Ray Allen's great, man, dude.

• 2:13:12Speaker 06

  Jesus Shuttlesworth? Oh, come on.

• 2:13:15Speaker 00

  Took his official visit to Elon University in that.

• 2:13:18Speaker 06

  Did he?

• 2:13:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, when he bangs those white chicks.

• 2:13:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's threesome?

• 2:13:21Speaker 00

  I never, I never even got close to what she.

• 2:13:25Speaker 06

  That's why you went to Elon? It's because you watched She Got Game?

• 2:13:28Speaker 00

  I remember kids used to say that in high school, like, dude, Elon, the women and dude ratio is crazy. It was.

• 2:13:33Speaker 01

  I've never even heard of the play.

• 2:13:34Speaker 00

  Didn't help. Yeah, nothing you can do with that information. Yeah, there was a lot of. Being a Christian. Yeah, there's nothing you can do about it. There's a lot of babes, but it doesn't help when you're 300 pounds and quitting the football team. When you're not on the team and 300 pounds, it's not that cool.

• 2:13:48Speaker 06

  Yeah, but they say that all the time. I went to Arizona and everyone's like, oh, Arizona party school. You're like, I was poor.

• 2:13:54Speaker 01

  That's a party school.

• 2:13:56Speaker 06

  Yeah, but I was poor and had to work. That's where I got pussy. It was not at the school.

• 2:14:01Speaker 01

  We used to drive to Penn State and they'd be like, you think this is cool? Arizona.

• 2:14:05Speaker 06

  Arizona.

• 2:14:05Speaker 00

  I'll be honest, I just did Arizona recently and it holds up.

• 2:14:10Speaker 06

  It rocks. Arizona State is insane. Arizona State.

• 2:14:14Speaker 00

  You're a little off, bro.

• 2:14:16Speaker 01

  Dude, am I remembering this right? Is that where Phil Mickelson went? Phil Mickelson, like, bets golf in Arizona with Arizona kids? I might not be remembering that right.

• 2:14:27Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 2:14:30Speaker 00

  Do it.