Pod Insights Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast Ep 573 - Angry Jets About this episode Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod
Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates
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hey guyzz. Hope you're all having a good week. Here's your weekly podcast. Pipin' hot (as per usual) and ready for listening / viewing. We also included some video of Matt's race from this weekend so check that out if you wish. Please enjoy. God Bless.
Very sorry for the re-upload guys.
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Transcript 17,216 words · 6 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 Wild Wild West.
0:05 Speaker 01 Those fat boys, run!
0:11 Speaker 01 Oh, come on, Matt!
0:13 Speaker 02 Hello, this is Shawn Gardini. I just wanted to chime in to let the audio listener know that I'm currently playing a video of Matt's race with Haas. So if you'd like to see that, switch over to the video.
0:30 Speaker 01 Keep going, Matt! He's catching up!
0:34 Speaker 02 Some words of encouragement from Mrs. McCusker. If you don't know, Matt was racing his cousin Haas this weekend on the Jersey Shore, so this is the footage of that. I think the end is coming now and Matt wins, so it was a good effort by both of them. But congratulations to Matt. He finished with about a 7 minute 30 second mile on the sand, too, by the way. And I think Haas was about 20, 15, 20 seconds behind him.
1:11 Speaker 02 So congrats to both competitors. And congrats to Matt
1:18 Speaker 02 for winning the race.
1:21 Speaker 01 Maya, get over here!
1:33 Speaker 02 Enjoy the podcast, everybody. Goodbye.
1:36 Speaker 01 Finish!
1:41 Speaker 03 You're all firing on all cylinders right now? Press record, dude. The console war is over. The black nerds have broken the story.
1:48 Speaker 03 The black nerds are on it.
1:51 Speaker 04 That's a big deal, dude. It's been a 20 year war.
1:53 Speaker 03 It has.
1:54 Matt McCusker? It's been our whole lives. Since PS1, Xbox?
1:58 Speaker 03 And PlayStation was in the Bandaroo. PlayStation had the big Bandaroo. To try to win the war.
2:04 Matt McCusker? Wait, so what crossed over?
2:06 Speaker 00 Both of their like two biggest franchises.
2:08 Speaker 03 Spider-Man and Halo.
2:09 Speaker 00 Yeah.
2:10 Matt McCusker? Halo was Xbox only, right?
2:11 Speaker 00 Yeah. It does feel like PlayStation kinda won though. Like if it would have been Uncharted or Last of Us Switched.
2:18 Speaker 00 Halo.
2:18 Speaker 03 Halo's the biggest one.
2:19 Speaker 00 Halo's the biggest one on Xbox. Spider-Man's big, but I don't think it's their big.
2:23 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I feel like, I don't know anyone who plays fucking Spider-Man.
2:26 Speaker 03 They all.
2:26 Speaker 04 Everybody plays Spider-Man, dude.
2:27 Matt McCusker? Really?
2:29 Speaker 03 They love Spider-Man.
2:30 Matt McCusker? What do you, it's just you, Spidey, rolling around?
2:34 Speaker 00 That's your favorite part of the game is playing as Mary Jane.
2:36 Speaker 04 I hated it, dude. I couldn't beat the game because of that part.
2:40 Speaker 00 It made me check out for like a week.
2:42 Speaker 03 Spider-Man was, isn't it like just Grand Theft Auto? Kind of, wasn't it like an open world? You get to just
2:47 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's open world. That's true.
2:49 Speaker 03 Soder would play it. If you smoke weed and like wrestling, Spider-Man is for you.
2:54 Speaker 00 I mean Spider-Man's for anybody. You didn't, if you had a PlayStation, you'd play Spider-Man.
2:58 Speaker 03 No, I wouldn't.
2:58 Speaker 00 You could play Spider-Man now. Yeah, you could play Spider-Man now.
3:01 Speaker 03 I bet you I don't.
3:03 Speaker 00 That's your loss, brother.
3:04 Speaker 03 I'm just waiting for Vietnam hell that loose.
3:06 Speaker 00 I mean, that does look sick.
3:07 Speaker 03 Oh.
3:07 Matt McCusker? Wait, so is it like, so it's like GTA, but like why wouldn't you, GTA's gotta be better than Spider-Man. Why, sell me on why you'd play Spider-Man over GTA.
3:17 Speaker 00 Swinging through the city, they perfected swinging through the city.
3:22 Speaker 03 I would watch Soder play. Swinging was nice.
3:24 Matt McCusker? Yeah, okay.
3:25 Speaker 00 I get it. I've go, when it first came out, cause I didn't buy it, but I went on YouTube and just watched like 10 minutes of somebody just swinging from end to end.
3:32 Matt McCusker? That makes sense. Swinging through the city and even just kinda.
3:35 Speaker 03 And Soder was high as shit. We didn't talk. I was just watching him play a video game silently.
3:41 Speaker 03 He was so high. He got high as fuck, dude. I forgot how high he got. I would just go sit at his house and he would just get high as. We had a dynasty, we were playing together. I'd, I'd be defense or he'd play defense, I was offense.
3:54 Matt McCusker? That's nice.
3:54 Speaker 03 It was nice. It was good bro time.
3:56 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
3:57 Speaker 03 Except he'd get high as shit. Sometimes I'd show up after a couple brewskis, the Colorado Buffalos would lose.
4:02 Matt McCusker? Dude, the, the dinosaur game, I believe it was, I believe it was Gabe who broke the news of the dinosaur game.
4:08 Speaker 03 Dinosaur game's pretty sick.
4:09 Matt McCusker? What is that game called? Where you start as a tiny little baby dinosaur and you slowly.
4:13 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's pretty great.
4:14 Matt McCusker? I was, when I, when I did, uh, what's it called? Dr. Phil Live. Soder was on the show and like backstage, I told him about that dinosaur game and he was like, yo, what the fuck? And I was like showing him videos, he's like, I gotta get this. I gotta get this. I figured he would appreciate it.
4:29 Speaker 03 He would.
4:30 Matt McCusker? Dude, just laying up at like two in the morning, just being a baby dinosaur and trying to get bigger is, it's, first of all, I, it would.
4:36 Speaker 03 It's a dream.
4:37 Matt McCusker? Catch me in that, I could get caught up in that.
4:38 Speaker 03 It's a dream.
4:39 Matt McCusker? For sure in that life.
4:40 Speaker 03 I've watched videos about it, it's pretty great.
4:41 Matt McCusker? It looks so tight.
4:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:43 Matt McCusker? Wasn't there a game where you started off as like a little amoeba and you had a, I might just be thinking of an episode of like a fucking. Huh? The Isle, right? You start off as a little baby amoeba, you gotta fucking become like a dominant life form. That's also.
4:56 Speaker 03 That's a good game.
4:57 Matt McCusker? So, huh?
4:58 Speaker 00 It's called Spore?
4:59 Matt McCusker? No, I think it was The Isle.
5:02 Speaker 00 The amoeba game I meant. Or is that the same game where you start as an amoeba and turn into a dinosaur?
5:06 Matt McCusker? I don't know, I'm just, I'm just throwing stuff out there.
5:10 Speaker 03 Throwing stuff out, Toe Jam and Earl ruled.
5:12 Matt McCusker? Yeah, shit ruled. Battle toes.
5:14 Speaker 03 Battle toes. I never realized Toe Jam and Earl were black. I never, I should have put that together.
5:18 Speaker 04 Are they?
5:19 Speaker 03 They gotta be. They're walking around with fucking boomboxes on their shoulders.
5:25 Speaker 03 They're either that or Puerto Rican.
5:26 Speaker 04 This is.
5:27 Speaker 03 The name is Toe Jam and Earl.
5:29 Speaker 04 Like, it's crazy.
5:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, Toe Jam and Earl are definitely black.
5:34 Speaker 04 You think Mario's gonna come into an Xbox?
5:39 Speaker 03 I mean, places in Xbox, do you think Mario's gonna come into the Xbox?
5:45 Speaker 00 They just came out with a new system. They can't, they can't.
5:48 Matt McCusker? Yeah, Nintendo's not giving up the goods on Mario. He's bigger than ever right now. That Mario movie fucking rules, dude.
5:54 Speaker 00 I still haven't seen it.
5:55 Matt McCusker? Dude, I'm telling you, I was like trying, I think I said it before, I was trying to hate on it, watching a guy watch it in front of me on a flight and I was like fucking grown man, watch the Mario movie. And I watched the entire, he had headphones in, I watched no sound Mario movie for a whole flight. It's like, yo, this is sick.
6:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:11 Matt McCusker? Starts in Brooklyn, fucking fall through a pipe. It's good.
6:15 Speaker 03 The Wops, they're in Brooklyn?
6:16 Speaker 00 Yeah.
6:17 Matt McCusker? The Wops are in Brooklyn, the Mario Brothers are losers in Brooklyn, dude. Nobody, nobody believes in the business. Dude, their fucking families are like, eh, eh, eh. Pummel. They say they do their own like TV commercial and they're like, don't.
6:26 Speaker 03 I can't even find the live action one anymore. I searched for it. I love that. I love that. John Leguizamo, bro.
6:32 Matt McCusker? What?
6:33 Speaker 03 The Past was.
6:38 Speaker 04 Bob Haskins.
6:41 Matt McCusker? Okay.
6:41 Speaker 03 The fuck is Bob Haskins?
6:45 Matt McCusker? I love the.
6:47 Speaker 03 You guys know.
6:47 Matt McCusker? Bob Haskins.
6:50 Matt McCusker? You guys know.
6:52 Speaker 03 Haskins.
6:53 Matt McCusker? What did he play, Luigi?
6:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, oh, he played Smee.
6:56 Matt McCusker? What?
6:56 Speaker 03 He played Smee in Hook. That's Bob Haskins.
6:58 Matt McCusker? That guy, he crushed me, dude.
6:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, he did.
7:01 Matt McCusker? This episode is brought to you by Viori.
7:03 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
7:04 Matt McCusker? I've been wearing the Sunday Performance joggers and I'll be honest, I didn't expect to have opinions about joggers, but I do.
7:09 Speaker 03 Oh, I know you do.
7:10 Matt McCusker? Well, they're soft, lightweight and have four-way stretch, so they can move with you with no restriction. They're technically workout clothes. So you can train in them, but they don't look like workout clothes. You can wear them out and people will think you've got your life together. Honestly, they're comfier than whatever you're wearing right now, unless you're already wearing Viori, in which case, respect.
7:34 Speaker 03 And with the holidays coming up, Viori makes gift giving easy. Uh, I was close to that. Whether it's the Sunday collection or the Strato collection, their bestsellers are go-to gifts for everyone on your list, including yourself. Get 20% off your first purchase at Viori.com slash secret and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.
7:56 Matt McCusker? I'll give Bob Haskins.
7:57 Speaker 03 Damn, he plays me and Mario. He's from fucking, he's a British actor?
8:01 Speaker 04 Yeah, he's a beast. He was also in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
8:04 Matt McCusker? Really?
8:04 Speaker 04 He was the detective.
8:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, we should have known Haskins.
8:06 Matt McCusker? Haskins rules, bro. Okay.
8:08 Speaker 04 Hell of a run, dude.
8:09 Matt McCusker? Fair enough.
8:10 Speaker 03 Super Mario Bros. the movie is.
8:11 Speaker 04 He was Mario.
8:12 Matt McCusker? I don't remember the live action.
8:15 Speaker 04 He was.
8:15 Speaker 03 It was the one where the, the Goombas looked exactly like, uh, Chris Wood.
8:21 Speaker 04 The Koopa.
8:22 Speaker 03 They looked exactly like him.
8:25 Speaker 04 The Koopas.
8:25 Speaker 03 Yes. It's the Woodman.
8:28 Matt McCusker? Let me see, I'm gonna see this live action Mario, but now I'm kinda.
8:30 Speaker 04 The live action Mario movie was funny, cause their last names was Mario. He was like, I'm Mario Mario, and I'm Luigi Mario. That was pretty funny.
8:38 Speaker 03 I just remember being a kid, watching it, getting hyped. I liked it.
8:42 Matt McCusker? Yo, this is.
8:43 Speaker 04 I can't believe the council, council wars are over. This is like for real life changing. Yeah, it feel like a wave of relief.
8:53 Speaker 03 The Woodman?
8:54 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I see. Damn, this shit looked fucking sick, actually.
8:59 Speaker 03 It was sick. I don't think it's streaming anywhere.
9:02 Speaker 02 It's streaming on Amazon. Well, you may as well.
9:04 Speaker 03 I fucking looked for it.
9:05 Speaker 02 That's what ChatGPT said.
9:07 Speaker 03 Those fuckers.
9:08 Matt McCusker? ChatGPT.
9:08 Speaker 03 I'm gonna watch that tonight. It's a big night. Oh.
9:14 Speaker 03 I'm just watching people run routes. Can't wait for football.
9:19 Matt McCusker? Dude, you know what, uh, Le Maire, last week, we were at the creek and Le Maire tossed on soap, like the best of soapbox racing? Ever watched that before?
9:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, like.
9:28 Matt McCusker? The Red Bull, when the dudes do their own cars? That was fucking awesome.
9:32 Speaker 03 We just missed it in Iowa. When he goes with me in Iowa, Nebraska and Iowa.
9:36 Matt McCusker? Bro, that shit fucking rules.
9:38 Speaker 03 It might have just been in Nebraska. I forget which one, or Iowa. It was that day. We got in too late. They were like, they just cleared the street.
9:45 Matt McCusker? Oh, dude, I was watching, like, heavy critiques. I'm like, what the fuck are they doing? They're like, dude, it's soapbox racing. Just have fun and watch it. And I was like, no, I need to see what these guys.
9:52 Speaker 03 Cause Mario and Luigi?
9:53 Matt McCusker? Huh? Yeah, I don't know.
9:55 Speaker 03 No, Mario and Luigi is the box, one of the cars.
9:57 Matt McCusker? Do they really?
9:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, I've seen Mario and Luigi get wrecked in Red Bull.
10:00 Matt McCusker? Oh, shit.
10:01 Speaker 03 I swear to God.
10:03 Matt McCusker? They had some cool ones, man. One of them was just like a giant castle. They get fucked up.
10:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, they get launched.
10:07 Matt McCusker? Yeah, how do you like, practice that? Cause you must get hurt. I could see like the crowd. If you put up the Red Bull decals, obviously I'll go all out, but like,
10:14 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:14 Matt McCusker? Just practicing that, you can get so fucking hurt doing that.
10:18 Speaker 03 Yeah, I doubt they even like, practice that much.
10:19 Matt McCusker? True.
10:20 Speaker 03 I think you have a couple beers and go, fuck it, we built this thing. I'm gonna slide it down the road in fucking Des Moines, Iowa.
10:27 Speaker 03 That's a good day.
10:28 Matt McCusker? I was getting kinda frustrated where I was like, dude, like you think these things would have better steer? I guess, you know, just people building them, but like, I was getting like, kinda pissed, you know, like.
10:36 Speaker 03 Wright Brothers level cars.
10:39 Speaker 03 This thing's fucking never gonna work.
10:41 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I was like, dude, can I see one guy smoke this course? And it was like, no, nobody does it. I mean, it's, you know, hats off to doing it, but.
10:50 Speaker 04 Have you ever seen the Bobby, a Bobby, Barbie car races?
10:53 Matt McCusker? No.
10:54 Speaker 04 There's the guys, it's uh, it's like in Texas, these guys, they go down this big hill and Bobby, Barbie cars.
11:01 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
11:02 Speaker 04 Yeah. And they just crash.
11:04 Matt McCusker? Something like a power wheel kinda thing?
11:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:06 Speaker 03 The power wheels?
11:07 Speaker 04 Yeah, like Barbies and power wheels.
11:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, the little Jeep things?
11:10 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:10 Speaker 03 It's a Jeep thing.
11:11 Speaker 04 Yeah, they take it down a hill and they fucking wipe out.
11:14 Matt McCusker? Those things would roll, yeah. If you just put them on a hill, they would, they would start moving.
11:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, I've watched tons of videos of just kids getting fucked up on those things. Whipping it around, hitting a curb. That's great.
11:25 Matt McCusker? Yeah, now what a lot of people do.
11:26 Speaker 03 They don't get ejected from the cars. The kids stay in the hot wheels. They go head first. They'd never get ejected. They're not like the Saudis.
11:34 Matt McCusker? We have one. We have a power wheel. And uh, my, my is pretty good at driving it, but then Chloe will go gremlin mode and put her foot on the gas. Where my like, stop, stop, stop.
11:45 Matt McCusker? From the path.
11:45 Speaker 03 She's already practicing her fucking crazy girlfriend. She's already gonna be a crazy girlfriend. Just like, what did you do?
11:52 Matt McCusker? I hope we die tonight. They're pulling into the garage and mine's being all careful and Chloe's went, bang, gremlin mode. They almost hit the car. It was so fucking funny. Stop, stop.
12:02 Matt McCusker? Total gremlin mode. Yeah, I get, yeah. Now, a lot of parents have them on a remote control. Put your kid in like the power wheel, but you sit and control it remotely.
12:12 Speaker 03 That'd be so fun. I know it's not great parenting.
12:14 Matt McCusker? It'd be fun. No, well, it's like safer.
12:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know, but.
12:17 Matt McCusker? But you gotta let them ride, bro. Yeah, you gotta let them ride.
12:19 Speaker 03 But that'd be nice.
12:21 Matt McCusker? Dude, it'd be so funny fucking with them.
12:23 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:24 Matt McCusker? Just forward, backwards, forward, backwards.
12:26 Speaker 03 That's a good DUI.
12:27 Matt McCusker? True.
12:27 Speaker 03 You can just sit in a lawn chair, have a couple of drinks, fucking race kids.
12:33 Matt McCusker? Just one eye on your kids.
12:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, get me a controller.
12:36 Matt McCusker? We got it.
12:36 Speaker 03 Get me a controller. We can fucking Mario Kart with actual kids.
12:41 Matt McCusker? That would be fun.
12:42 Speaker 03 That's awesome.
12:43 Matt McCusker? Fuck, that'd be so fun. Good call.
12:47 Speaker 03 This episode of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast is brought to you by Dude Wipes. Matt, take it from there.
12:53 Matt McCusker? Well, let me tell you something about these Dude Wipes right now, man. I love to take it right here. Here we go. I'm your butthole. Yeah, me. The most overworked, underappreciated part of your body.
13:07 Speaker 03 Name two or three poor choices that your butthole never appreciates. For example, buffalo wings, iced coffees, gas station sushi.
13:15 Matt McCusker? Yeah, there's, I mean, all of those.
13:17 Speaker 03 What's going on? This is, this is disgusting stuff.
13:20 Matt McCusker? Yeah, jalapeno poppers, root beer floats. That's a weird one to tie to your butt. I don't know what that would do to my butt.
13:25 Speaker 03 Root beer floats?
13:26 Matt McCusker? Yeah, and also they put in here, um, two-foot, double-ended.
13:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's bad for your butt.
13:33 Matt McCusker? Corner store chili cheese dogs.
13:35 Speaker 03 I'm the one dealing with your poor choices. That's from the butthole.
13:38 Matt McCusker? What?
13:38 Speaker 03 And then you drag a dry ass tissue across me like you're sanding a piece of shit coffee table until I'm a throbbing red balloon knot.
13:47 Matt McCusker? Bro.
13:48 Speaker 03 Who the fuck wrote this ad? Dude wipes, available at retailers nationwide and Amazon. Look, they do fucking rule. You don't have to, you don't have to write that ad, Reid.
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13:57 Speaker 03 They're good for your butt. It feels good.
13:59 Matt McCusker? It's, I mean, having, traveling with them is for real, like my.
14:02 Speaker 03 Traveling with them's great.
14:03 Matt McCusker? First day of traveling, my ass falls apart. Turns, it's just completely blistered.
14:07 Speaker 03 You gotta, you gotta oil slick.
14:09 Matt McCusker? Exactly.
14:10 Speaker 03 And these are designed specifically.
14:11 Matt McCusker? The oil slick then irritates the skin. If it was just an oil slick, fine, but then your skin gets all irritated. But having these to come back from and just.
14:18 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:19 Matt McCusker? Like after like a warrior in battle, just kind of dabbing it and going. But yeah. They're flushable, extra large wet flush with scents like mint chill and shea butter. Stop being an A-hole to your B-hole. We take it all back. That's fucking gold. Yeah, that was great. Dude wipes available at retailers nationwide and Amazon. Yeah, we support this product. For sure. Dude, I'm a, I got crushed the other day by a piece of, I'm not even gonna say it's bad information. I think I didn't take it in properly. But I was, I've been trying to like cut down on my caffeine because it's been getting a little bit out of control. So I'm just like, my brain's just looking for reasons to keep taking in lots of caffeine. And I saw, I didn't even watch the video. I saw like the thumbnail of a Huberman video where he's like,
15:03 Matt McCusker? you wanna, you wanna skyrocket your cortisol. It was like a chart on his Instagram. I don't think it was a video. Showing like why you wanna skyrocket your cortisol. So I was like, he's right. I should drink as much coffee as fast as I can as soon as I wake up. And dude, I like had a whale of a day. It's nice. I had like, do you ever drink so much you feel like you're just like, your innards are just like, I almost feel like mechanical all the time. Dude, I had. This is my second cold brew today. Maybe you can relate then. Yeah. Cause I had like, I was, I'd spiked my cortisol. I'm like, alright, I'm totally on protocol with Huberman right now. I maybe, maybe he was like, do it through exercise. I didn't listen to the thing. I was just like, I'm just gonna crush coffee, cold brew right in the morning. And then I ended up having like a genuinely stressful day and was like, I thought I was gonna fucking die.
15:47 Matt McCusker? I was, it fucked me up. I'm trying to get back off the bean. I abused it. You're good at tracking what's doing what. I'll just be like, I had a good day. I don't know what the fuck caused that.
16:00 Matt McCusker? Yeah, this is a good day. This is a terrible day. I knew it was the coffee though, because I, I have it down kind of to a science and then, it was just like, I was like taking a walk with my wife. She's like, wanna get some coffee? And I was like, yeah, I'll fucking chug a cold brew. Huberman told me I needed to spike my cortisol. After I already had like a 24 ounce cup, I was like, it's time to spike the cortisol. That's my problem. Were you guys walking in the morning in your neighborhood? Nice walk, yeah.
16:21 Speaker 03 You're living a real life.
16:23 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
16:24 Speaker 03 It's crazy.
16:25 Matt McCusker? Taking a walk, I'm just walking with my babe.
16:26 Speaker 03 Yeah.
16:26 Matt McCusker? I want to start going full old Indian man, staying like 10 steps behind her with my hands behind my back. That's the dream.
16:32 Speaker 03 They.
16:33 Matt McCusker? Taking your babe for a walk.
16:34 Speaker 03 American women could never stand for that.
16:36 Matt McCusker? No.
16:37 Speaker 03 They'd be so mad if you were 10 feet behind them.
16:39 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
16:40 Speaker 03 They have to walk side by side.
16:41 Matt McCusker? That's literally the only time I'm 10 feet behind her when she's already mad at me and she storms ahead.
16:45 Speaker 03 They have to be side by side.
16:46 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
16:47 Speaker 03 Even in New York where everyone's on the sidewalk, you're like getting single file.
16:50 Matt McCusker? Yeah, single file is up.
16:51 Speaker 03 While people are passing.
16:52 Matt McCusker? Yeah, babes like to keep you right at their hip.
16:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
16:57 Speaker 02 They'll like walk ahead of you.
16:59 Speaker 03 They're not, yeah.
17:00 Speaker 02 They're really bad at walking.
17:01 Matt McCusker? Oh, they'll pop, they'll bump you.
17:03 Speaker 02 They like can't stay in a straight line.
17:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
17:05 Matt McCusker? They can't, that's why they need you next to them.
17:07 Speaker 02 Yeah. I'm happy to help.
17:08 Matt McCusker? Yeah, my babe will hit the fucking, she'll hit the jets on me, she'll hit turbo, if she's mad, she'll fucking speed ahead. And so it's always just like, bro, you slow your little fucking ass down. She gets mad, walks as fast as she can, I'm like, bro, I could fucking smoke you right now. You ever hit the slow down when they speed up? That's my move.
17:25 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's a good move.
17:26 Matt McCusker? She gets mad and speeds up, I go slower and I'm like, we'll just part ways. Well, it's nice when you go slow and then they turn around and you go. You're all the way up there, what the fuck are you doing all the way up there? I didn't see you back there. Yeah, you fucking did.
17:37 Speaker 03 You knew what you were doing.
17:38 Matt McCusker? You knew exactly what the fuck you were up to. Yeah, and they hit the jets, it's so funny.
17:43 Speaker 03 Angry jets is crazy.
17:44 Matt McCusker? Oh, angry jets is so funny.
17:46 Speaker 03 I see you hit the angry jets.
17:48 Matt McCusker? I'll hit them.
17:49 Speaker 03 Video game angry jets.
17:50 Matt McCusker? I'll run, I'll straight up run, dude, I'll run away.
17:54 Speaker 03 Angry jets is.
17:55 Matt McCusker? She hit me with the diabolical angry jets because we were like heading into like a preschool thing, like a, you know, like two nights before school started.
18:02 Speaker 03 God, I forgot how much I fucking hate angry jets.
18:04 Matt McCusker? Bro.
18:05 Speaker 03 We're late, we're late for a dinner. She's gonna rush in before me.
18:08 Matt McCusker? Oh, it gets me.
18:09 Speaker 03 Out of the car, into the front door, you're gonna run through the front yard to get there? We gotta walk in together.
18:13 Matt McCusker? Yes, this is how diabolical it was because I'm driving and we get into the fucking parking lot, I don't know why, and I've talked to other people, babes do this, well, they'll be like, there, there's a spot right there, and it's like, yo, man, I'm driving. When I don't like, without you, I don't circle parking lots helplessly, like I know how to pull into a fucking spot, if you say it, I'm not gonna park in that spot.
18:30 Speaker 03 Now that's the worst spot.
18:31 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I'm just, no, I'm not, I'll park all the way the fuck over here. So I started as being like, I, I can park the car, I don't need your input, you, uh, uh.
18:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:38 Matt McCusker? I know where I'm going, because it's like, it's a new place, we don't, I don't, I really don't know where I'm going.
18:44 Speaker 03 Fuck it, dude.
18:44 Matt McCusker? So she hit the angry jets on me.
18:46 Speaker 03 The concussor. You go, I know exactly where I'm going. Shit.
18:51 Matt McCusker? She hit the angry jets on me and I like, kind of could have gotten lost and I had no choice but to fucking hurry up. I was like, fuck it bitch, I had to fucking hurry up real quick behind her. She could have lost, if I got lost, I would have never found my way.
19:02 Speaker 03 She got lost in the parking lot.
19:03 Matt McCusker? The dumbest guy ever. I would have found it eventually, but I was just like, she hit the angry jets and I was like, god damn, I actually do gotta speed up right now, cause I don't know where the hell I'm going. They like sent out a video of like exactly where to go and I was like, do you watch it? I was like, yeah, I'll watch it. I didn't watch it, so I don't know where to go, but yeah, that was the last set of angry jets I got. But then it was cool, she chilled out.
19:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, the angry jets.
19:27 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
19:28 Speaker 03 I had a girlfriend that would be so mad if we were late for anything.
19:31 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
19:32 Speaker 03 Like lose her mind. Like it was like a mental issue. If we were like 10 minutes, like we were late to go to my parents' house for dinner.
19:39 Matt McCusker? It's your parents?
19:40 Speaker 03 It's my, like, we can be three hours late.
19:42 Matt McCusker? Yeah, it's all good.
19:43 Speaker 03 Doesn't matter. She lost her mind in the car. Silent car ride, angry jets to the front door. And then right when you walk in, hey, how are you guys?
19:51 Matt McCusker? Nothing against me.
19:52 Speaker 03 You fucking psycho.
19:53 Matt McCusker? Nothing, bro.
19:54 Speaker 03 That's crazy.
19:55 Matt McCusker? When you're fighting and they get a phone call and they're like, hey, he's like, yeah, where's that fucking energy towards me?
20:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, give me that energy.
20:01 Matt McCusker? Yeah, why can't I get fucking hey?
20:04 Speaker 03 But we hit that, they get that from us though.
20:05 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
20:06 Speaker 03 They hear me talking on the phone with.
20:08 Matt McCusker? Having a blast.
20:09 Speaker 03 One of you guys.
20:09 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
20:11 Speaker 03 Then she answers the phone, it's like, yeah.
20:16 Speaker 03 Nah, nothing. What'd you talk about on the podcast? Nothing. I swear to god, nothing.
20:21 Matt McCusker? I don't remember, I don't remember.
20:22 Speaker 03 I don't remember.
20:22 Matt McCusker? No idea. Okay, well, if you're rushing me off the phone, I'm not.
20:25 Speaker 03 I'm not rushing you off the phone?
20:26 Matt McCusker? Fucking normal, I don't know why you're saying that.
20:27 Speaker 03 Dude, it can be a fucking hour long phone call if I'm like, alright, I'm gonna head out. It's like, fine.
20:34 Speaker 03 What? How, you, she has to say goodbye.
20:38 Matt McCusker? I know. Yeah, the best, they go, oh.
20:40 Speaker 03 The babe has to say goodbye.
20:41 Matt McCusker? Oh, okay, well, what are you doing? I just, I don't wanna be on the phone.
20:45 Speaker 03 I had the bros here this week, we were hitting some pretty hard good nights.
20:48 Matt McCusker? Really?
20:48 Speaker 03 Gabe and those guys, a couple good nights that week. It was uncomfortable.
20:53 Matt McCusker? What do you mean? It's like?
20:53 Speaker 03 Everybody go.
20:54 Matt McCusker? Oh, you're just chilling?
20:55 Speaker 03 Watching Sicario, Sicario ends, you go, alright, goodnight.
21:00 Matt McCusker? Goodnight, guy.
21:01 Speaker 03 It's like, alright, goodnight, bro. Yeah. And you close the door behind you in your bedroom and you go, oh fuck. Is that guy, did that guy put a hit on me? He's queerer than the Blazers.
21:13 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I was, I remember sharing the hotel room with Sid the Kid. Cause I would go to the small rooms. Sharing the room.
21:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
21:20 Matt McCusker? And just have to be like, good night, dude. Cause it's weird to hear the silence.
21:25 Speaker 03 Now, you gotta whisper at night.
21:26 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
21:26 Speaker 03 You go, hey, Matt, good night. What are you thinking about? Sleep tight. Good night, dude.
21:31 Matt McCusker? Cause we watched that documentary about the heroin addicts.
21:34 Speaker 03 The kid, though.
21:35 Matt McCusker? Sid the Kid was great.
21:36 Speaker 03 Beezerine, me and Beez were sharing rooms. It's just Trump dude snoring. It was crazy.
21:43 Matt McCusker? Yeah, me and Sid the Kid got stoned and watched that HBO documentary about the heroin addicts followed over thirty years. And the guy for real, he dies and explodes. His body, apparently even dead, dead bodies explode.
21:54 Speaker 03 At the end.
21:55 Matt McCusker? He melts. And we just watched a guy turn into a puddle and then just like turn it off. We're like, good night, man. Good shit tonight in the little room in St. Louis.
22:04 Speaker 03 I mean, it's so funny, the difference of you and Sid the Kid.
22:08 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
22:08 Speaker 03 It was me, Okama and Beezer. There wasn't one good night.
22:11 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
22:12 Speaker 03 No one remembered one night. Every night, people were like, eh, you know what? Fuck you.
22:21 Matt McCusker? Although that's Three's Company. That's someone sharing.
22:23 Speaker 03 Squad.
22:24 Matt McCusker? Someone, someone sharing.
22:25 Speaker 03 Usually I'd start stacking those two at the end.
22:27 Matt McCusker? Yeah, there, you can get those two.
22:29 Speaker 03 But I would, I would split rooms with the guys. My favorite story, I've said it a million times, is me and Beezer were sleeping.
22:35 Matt McCusker? Had the toe.
22:36 Speaker 03 Twin beds. No, no, no. But I woke up in the middle of the night and he was facing the same way as me. The distance was less than this. We were laying on our sides. He was awake and I was like, dude, what the fuck? I had to roll over.
22:53 Matt McCusker? Nothing worse than being like thirty, thirty something and sharing.
22:56 Speaker 03 Shit, dude. Staring at each other in a hotel room in fucking like Cleveland, just.
23:01 Matt McCusker? My dad would hold it down, like when he ever.
23:03 Speaker 03 I'm sorry, I keep cutting you off. It was also dark enough that I had, it took me a second to be like, are his eyes open? Are we making eye contact? It's just the Beez's face.
23:15 Speaker 03 He's like, yo, dude, what's up?
23:19 Speaker 03 God damn it dude, I fucking, my life sucks.
23:24 Matt McCusker? My dad would have to get like, he would get like a job somewhere kind of far away. Dude, it would be like a three hour drive. So he would get the shittiest fucking motels. It would just be like, me, my dad, my brother, my uncle Doc, one of my cousins and like four Peruvian dudes. And we would all be in like shitty motels and I would just like share a room with like one of my uncles and be, it's hell.
23:43 Speaker 03 It's disgusting.
23:44 Matt McCusker? Being like 27, sharing a shitty motel with your uncle.
23:47 Speaker 03 No problem with tighty whities.
23:48 Matt McCusker? Oh dude.
23:48 Speaker 03 Walking through.
23:49 Matt McCusker? Fucking sucks.
23:50 Speaker 03 Waking you up at 5am with them going like.
23:55 Speaker 03 The loudest shit you've ever heard.
23:57 Matt McCusker? I'm just sunburnt from being outside all day. We ate at the worst possible place. Just in the middle of like nowhere Delaware.
24:03 Speaker 03 It's just trash people.
24:04 Matt McCusker? My dad's like, you believe how big this fucking steak is? Just eats a 24 ounce steak. It was 12 bucks. Man, that was great. Just lays in a room, it's like. Just fucking farting his ass off.
24:15 Speaker 03 Damn, me and B's, we were like a couple. He would snore. I'd throw pillows at him. It was, yeah. Great times.
24:23 Matt McCusker? Yeah. Yeah, my dad still held down. Like if he went away to work by himself, he would just eat ice cream and steak every, he was like a complete bad kid. Ice cream, steak, milkshakes.
24:33 Speaker 03 No one's around.
24:34 Matt McCusker? Yeah, he's just.
24:35 Speaker 03 It's just you in the ice cream. It's just you in the ice cream. There's nothing else in the universe.
24:39 Matt McCusker? He got a new, he got his, uh, atrial fibrillation, whatever, atrial fibrillation, you gotta fix. He's like. I'm like, dude, you gotta start chilling. He's like, I got, same, I got a brand new heart.
24:48 Speaker 03 Fixed his AFib?
24:50 Matt McCusker? They go up through your leg.
24:51 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
24:52 Matt McCusker? And send a thing and like cauterize the vein. They go like through your whole body and cauterize the vein. And apparently, I was talking to one of my friends who does like medical stuff and he said if you, they're doing surgery and they have like your heart open, sometimes it'll, you'll just go into like AFib. And he said they just take a little thing and tap it with a tool and it sends it back into regular beating. Oh shit. What do we got here? Ambulance.
25:14 Speaker 03 A little ambie.
25:15 Matt McCusker? Oh crap. Well, missing child, yeah. If you see her, black shirt, black shorts, wears glasses. Fucked up.
25:24 Speaker 03 Why are you looking around? Oh, the description was Nate? Nate's girlfriend put on an ambulance?
25:31 Speaker 03 What was the description?
25:34 Matt McCusker? Kinda was, but it was a girl.
25:35 Speaker 03 Glasses, zesty. Be on the lookout for a zesty guy.
25:39 Matt McCusker? 18 year old white guy.
25:43 Speaker 03 Be on the lookout for a zesty guy in a rickshaw.
25:49 Matt McCusker? I wish just once to like finally see a guy. I get those amber alerts all the time. I feel helpless.
25:54 Speaker 03 They they put out a fucking wide net dude. That's probably in like Houston.
25:57 Matt McCusker? It's in like, yeah, it's in like Salado, Texas. So hopefully nothing bad happens and we'll be on video being like, it's fucking Nate.
26:08 Speaker 03 It's usually it's usually a parent.
26:10 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
26:10 Speaker 03 The amber alert's usually uh.
26:11 Matt McCusker? That's a youngster for that though.
26:13 Speaker 03 What do you mean?
26:13 Matt McCusker? They said the guy, the suspect who has the uh the child is only 18.
26:18 Speaker 03 Oh, never mind.
26:19 Matt McCusker? So maybe maybe it's a, you know, I don't fucking know.
26:21 Speaker 03 It's not great.
26:22 Matt McCusker? It could be an older brother. Older brothers are like, I'm getting my sister. But usually it is a parent's being like, fuck this shit.
26:29 Speaker 03 Dad.
26:30 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
26:31 Speaker 03 Or a mom going without custody.
26:33 Matt McCusker? Usually dad.
26:33 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:34 Matt McCusker? Moms have to fuck up so bad to not get custody. It's not even, it's not even funny.
26:37 Speaker 03 That is how you end up on an amber alert though.
26:39 Matt McCusker? True, true.
26:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:41 Matt McCusker? Yeah, trying to do the right thing.
26:42 Speaker 03 Crazy bitch, I'm gonna call the cops.
26:43 Matt McCusker? I'm doing it. That ride would be tight though. You're getting iced out.
26:47 Speaker 03 Driving, you see the fucking, your description of your car on a fucking road sign, you go, ooh.
26:52 Matt McCusker? You're at the aquarium, you're like, just give me 10 more minutes, man. I'm just trying to take the kid to the aquarium.
26:58 Matt McCusker? That is such a fucking hellhole of a situation, man.
27:02 Speaker 03 Losing your kid?
27:03 Matt McCusker? Yeah, like the state, having the state do all that stuff.
27:05 Speaker 03 State go, you're literally not allowed to see them?
27:07 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
27:07 Speaker 03 You're too much partying?
27:09 Matt McCusker? I was a, I like volunteered briefly way, way, way back as like a volunteer for like assisting in like family court where like you had to like, I had to like go talk to kids who were in like up for foster stuff. And there was one dude, there was a dad who, I mean, he was, he, you know, he needed to do better, but the funniest part was he failed the drug test for cocaine. But he knew the exact like parts per million in your bloodstream that it was allowed to be. He goes, what are you talking about? My levels are fine. And the judge was like, no, I gave you mine, which is like, if you have any, it's over. He's like, well, that's unfair.
27:40 Speaker 03 Well, that's not right. Cocaine's gonna get in there. Oh, fuck.
27:45 Matt McCusker? He was like, I had to.
27:46 Speaker 03 You had a fucking bump, dude.
27:47 Matt McCusker? He goes, I took a drug test and it didn't come up. He's like, that's why I gave you mine. He was like, this is bullshit, man. This is fucking unfair.
27:53 Speaker 03 Kind of bullshit. That's a boy having a bump, dude. Can't even see his kid, dude. Obviously, he's gonna do a bump.
28:00 Matt McCusker? Just wanted to bump.
28:02 Speaker 03 Can you imagine not being able to see your kid, you're at the bar, someone's like, I got some coke.
28:05 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
28:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, fuck it.
28:08 Matt McCusker? Yeah, for sure.
28:09 Speaker 03 Shit sucks.
28:10 Matt McCusker? Yeah, or.
28:11 Speaker 03 I'll feel good for 10 minutes.
28:12 Matt McCusker? Although he might have been at the bar two years before where he had his kid and was like, yeah, I'd love some fucking coke.
28:17 Speaker 03 That's where it started, for sure, where it started. But at this point, it's like, what the fuck?
28:21 Matt McCusker? Yeah, at this point, once you get, yeah, once you're not allowed.
28:23 Speaker 03 It's bump city.
28:23 Matt McCusker? It's bump, it's bump time.
28:25 Speaker 03 It's bump time.
28:25 Matt McCusker? But you, I mean, he's supposed to be, I think he was in trouble for not making enough money to give to his kid, his charity.
28:30 Speaker 03 That's even more bump time, dude.
28:31 Matt McCusker? That's bump time.
28:32 Speaker 03 I don't have any money and someone goes, do you want a bump? You go, yes.
28:34 Matt McCusker? That's why he doesn't have money.
28:37 Speaker 03 I know.
28:38 Matt McCusker? True, I mean, it's a chicken, it's a chicken in the egg.
28:41 Speaker 03 It's not, it's definitely, it's definitely the bump's fault. But once the bump's taken over, dude, you go, fuck it.
28:47 Matt McCusker? Yeah, true.
28:48 Speaker 03 I'm down to just me and the bump.
28:50 Matt McCusker? Yeah, or just be like, yo, let's get this coke up and see you fucking get a job on a forklift, like, let's fucking move this. Let's go.
28:57 Speaker 03 That's nice.
28:57 Matt McCusker? Yeah, let's get the bumps up.
28:58 Speaker 03 We can go bumps to lines.
29:00 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
29:00 Speaker 03 Get, get you a warehouse job, we'll be doing fucking lines.
29:02 Matt McCusker? Yeah, the judge is sending you like when bro has the bag, schmiggle means.
29:08 Speaker 03 Schmiggle means is nice.
29:10 Matt McCusker? That would be nice to get like, cause you do have like deadbeat fathers and just be like, yo, put them on amphetamines, bro, get these guys cranked up. Get a broom in their hands, get them on the fucking construction site sweeping up, yeah, get them methed out. Go the opposite route.
29:24 Speaker 03 He really did it and almost worked.
29:26 Matt McCusker? Well, yeah, exactly.
29:27 Speaker 03 He methed the boys up and said, we love Czechoslovakia. Czechoslovakia is ours, dude.
29:34 Matt McCusker? That would be, yeah, just like meth these guys up and get them on, get them in some grindset mentality.
29:40 Matt McCusker? Cause you know, maybe they're going the complete different, you know, wrong direction with it.
29:43 Speaker 03 If you're in an office not doing meth, what are you doing?
29:47 Matt McCusker? It's a fair point. That's crazy. You gotta be stamped up. Offices.
29:51 Speaker 03 I've stemmed up and gone to work and it was the best day of my life.
29:54 Matt McCusker? It's awesome.
29:54 Speaker 03 I was walking fast around.
29:56 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
29:56 Speaker 03 I was fucking, I was being mad, walking fast everywhere. Going, you know what? I like working at this garage. I could work here the rest of my life.
30:03 Matt McCusker? That doing, doing demo with the coffee was the best. Just crushing like a twenty-four ounce, twenty-four ounce.
30:08 Speaker 03 Speaking of the devil, there's some coffee here.
30:11 Matt McCusker? Ooh.
30:12 Speaker 03 Lemay's quick to his feet.
30:14 Matt McCusker? I used to work for my dad and just crush coffee and just like break stuff. Fucking sick.
30:18 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:18 Matt McCusker? Just drop entire, drop ceilings, let them fall.
30:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, Beazer gave me Adderall and I was at Toyota selling fucking mufflers and shit. I acted like I knew what I was talking about. When I was on Adderall, I knew cars.
30:30 Matt McCusker? You were Elliot Army.
30:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, I was fully Andy Elliot. I was going, were you fucking not gonna take this? Listen what I say. Someone just abducted my fucking wife, you asshole.
30:41 Matt McCusker? Shout out to the bro.
30:42 Speaker 03 True.
30:43 Matt McCusker? He needs, I need to fucking, we need to get him in here, man.
30:46 Speaker 03 He'll come.
30:46 Matt McCusker? Yeah, we gotta get him in here, bro. Get people, get our fuck, get the bag up, man. We can all get shredded. We should take our shirts off for him and just fucking smother him.
30:53 Speaker 03 Dude, I would, he would murder me.
30:57 Matt McCusker? You think so?
30:58 Speaker 03 If he was like, pop your top off. Devastating. He might change my life, though. That's what he does. He motivates people. I could give him a hug and be like, thank you, bro.
31:05 Matt McCusker? Yeah, true.
31:06 Speaker 03 I needed to be publicly humiliated on the internet.
31:07 Matt McCusker? I saw a guy who popped his shirt off and then proposed to his girlfriend.
31:11 Speaker 03 Thank you, man.
31:11 Matt McCusker? At the Army convention.
31:13 Speaker 03 Proposes to his girlfriend at the Andy Elliot Army with his shirt off?
31:16 Matt McCusker? Yeah, he popped his shirt off. Andy big upped him. Which I will say, you know, everyone likes to say, you know, the dark side of it is the body shaming, all that stuff. That's not great, but imagine Elliot being like, bro, you're so fucking jacked right now.
31:28 Speaker 03 That would be nice.
31:28 Matt McCusker? And then he proposed to your wife and Elliot's just like, let's fucking go.
31:32 Speaker 03 That would be sick.
31:33 Matt McCusker? That would be so sick.
31:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
31:34 Matt McCusker? You watch the video like ten years later and you're like, yeah, this was a good idea.
31:37 Speaker 03 Having Andy Elliot get hyped on you would be so sick. But yeah, when you, when she leaves you, you're back to being fat. You're watching your fucking wedding tape.
31:44 Matt McCusker? Time to grind.
31:44 Speaker 03 You're sitting there, nah, that is bum time, dude. Dude, I used to be skinny. Andy Elliot said I was jacked at my wedding. Yeah, I have a bump.
31:56 Matt McCusker? Having your marriage fall apart and all you have left is your video of you shirtless at the Elliot Army.
32:04 Matt McCusker? That'd be devastating. Although that guy's fucking probably making six figures a month, dude. He's five a month, so you know, shut the fuck up.
32:12 Speaker 03 Six figs grinding.
32:13 Matt McCusker? He's grinding his fucking ass off. My hard work paid off. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.
32:19 Speaker 03 Mint Mobile.
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32:55 Speaker 03 Incredible.
32:56 Matt McCusker? This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.
33:01 Speaker 03 I like this.
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33:43 Matt McCusker? And for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle, including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod. Man, dude, I didn't, I didn't, so I started to say I didn't finish the race.
34:00 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. I'll stop cutting you off.
34:02 Matt McCusker? No, dude, totally fine.
34:03 Speaker 03 Stimmed up, dude. I'm bumped up.
34:05 Matt McCusker? It's stim vs. stim right now.
34:07 Speaker 03 It's bump city.
34:09 Matt McCusker? But yeah, dude, it was supposed to be hard sand. So I show up and I was kinda nervous. I was like, fuck, man. He ran the 630 on a treadmill, which I knew like, you know, like it's not battling the elements. So I had that on my side, but I was like, still 15 seconds ahead of me. But we get there and there's like this hurricane that's just like bouncing around the ocean right now. And apparently there was a storm, I guess a week or two before I came there that like transformed the entire beach. So he was, you know, he stays there all summer. So he was like, he knew it was like, yeah, it's hard sand. We'll be fine. I show up, dude, it was like soft, like inches of soft sand. So we had to run like three lifeguard stands down, which is a half a mile and back. So it was like a
34:50 Matt McCusker? whole mile. Dude, the first quarter mile was fucking soft, super, super soft, like top of the beach soft sand. That was, I don't know if it was dry. I can't even, I don't know if it was dry or wet or what, but it was fucking like your whole foot sank down in it. So we did a quarter mile in that and I'm checking my pace. He was pushing like a five minute 30 second mile and fucking like the softest sand imaginable. And I'm just trailing. I'm like, there's no way you're like, this is
35:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, if he gets that, you gotta tip your hat.
35:20 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I was like, this is suicide. So I kinda slowed down behind him and he eventually slowed down. And then we got to that third lifeguard stand and we came around and I was just gonna follow him the whole way, but I was like, let me push the pace a little bit and see what he's got in the tank. Pushed the pace, turned around and he was, he was lagging. So I was like, oh, he's playing with my head, man. He's gonna fucking come flying up behind me. So I like gave it a good quarter mile push again. Turned around. I was like, oh my God, he was back there.
35:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:46 Matt McCusker? And then I forgot there, I had pushed the pace, but now I have to do a whole other quarter mile and like the softest fucking sand imaginable. So I was dying and then I was like, all right, I see the finish line and Chloe was like, pick me up. And I honestly picked her up.
36:00 Speaker 03 Of course.
36:00 Matt McCusker? Wholesome as hell. It was, it was a quiet.
36:02 Speaker 03 It was wholesome.
36:03 Matt McCusker? It's a quiet flex though.
36:04 Speaker 03 It was, it was wholesome, but the flex.
36:06 Matt McCusker? Coming off the mile.
36:06 Speaker 03 You gotta come from his perspective on this.
36:08 Matt McCusker? It's a flex.
36:08 Speaker 03 The flex of a guy holding his, his child.
36:10 Matt McCusker? Picking up.
36:11 Speaker 03 Crossing the finish line.
36:12 Matt McCusker? She's 35 pounds.
36:14 Speaker 03 Going, thank you, God. Thank you. I love my beautiful family. And you're back there dying and fucking shit.
36:20 Matt McCusker? He was in the Sriracha singlet. He was in a Sriracha singlet.
36:22 Speaker 03 And in a singlet.
36:24 Matt McCusker? But he had the shorts.
36:25 Speaker 03 I also, I was telling you, props to him for not, I would have, second you took the lead.
36:30 Matt McCusker? Dude, he-
36:30 Speaker 03 I would have sat in the sand. I would have laid in the sand and gone in the water.
36:35 Matt McCusker? That's what I said.
36:35 Speaker 03 I'm like, dude, you took that seriously? That's so gay. I was just fucking with you to try to make you run a mile.
36:41 Matt McCusker? No, I, I had nothing but respect because he, he pushed it so hard, finished it out after coming off of like a pretty serious medical thing.
36:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:50 Matt McCusker? And it was like, dude, you are a fucking psycho. Just trained for a month and then, dude, it was real the hardest shit. It was the hardest kind of race I've ever done.
36:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:58 Matt McCusker? Just running in sand.
36:59 Speaker 03 Your, your wife sent me some videos. It was nice.
37:01 Matt McCusker? And she did the start off and then-
37:02 Speaker 03 The start off was so mean to her.
37:03 Matt McCusker? Start off was so funny.
37:04 Speaker 03 She was like, these two fat boys are running. I was like-
37:07 Matt McCusker? She's so mean to me, dude.
37:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's funny.
37:08 Matt McCusker? She's so my breath all the time.
37:09 Speaker 03 She was so proud of you though.
37:10 Matt McCusker? She was proud.
37:11 Speaker 03 When you came back.
37:12 Matt McCusker? She was pumped, but it was also like-
37:13 Speaker 03 But yeah, if you're an onlooker, you gotta be like, damn, this guy's an insane person.
37:17 Matt McCusker? We were getting some weird looks because we were like right with each other running, like trudging through the sand. But then afterwards, there was like a, I guess he was a, I met one of the lifeguards there. He's a fan of the cast. He's a man. But there was another guy who was fucking sprinting after we were done. I think one of the lifeguards-
37:31 Speaker 03 You got him charged up.
37:32 Matt McCusker? Got him charged up and he was sprinting.
37:34 Speaker 03 He said, nobody's gonna outwork me. Nobody's gonna outwork me today.
37:38 Matt McCusker? He was sprinting in the fucking sand. But yeah, the race was sick. But dude, I watched a thing today on Twitter where a marathon mom, like the, you know, runner lady, her whole family was there and her kid, same situation was like, reached out like, mom, pick me up. And she blew past her whole family. And it was just like, fuck off and cross the finish line. It was like,
37:59 Matt McCusker? couldn't do that because it was in, there was a part of me being like, I don't want to fuck up my time, but I was like, I gotta pick up my sweet angel, trot her across the finish. But I think I did probably like seven something, I think. Actually, let me check. I think I did like-
38:11 Speaker 03 Seven something in the sand is-
38:12 Matt McCusker? It's not bad.
38:12 Speaker 03 You're moving, bro.
38:13 Matt McCusker? I, I was, it felt so fucking slow. But it was cool. It was a good, uh, you know, it was all, to me, I was like ready to trash talk, but I was like, no, it was, it was all, all props to the Hoss man because that was for real, like an insane display that he was able to do that. I can't find my fucking workouts. It was about seven something.
38:34 Speaker 03 That's something to be proud of.
38:37 Matt McCusker? Whatever.
38:38 Speaker 03 Now you should be proud.
38:39 Matt McCusker? I hit the track. I got back to Monday. I hit the Tuesday. Hit the track hard again. I just thought I was gonna die. That was after my cortisol spike. I was like, I gotta, I ran the day after my cortisol spaz and for real thought I was having a heart attack.
38:51 Speaker 03 What is cortisol?
38:53 Matt McCusker? It's a stress hormone. It's just like a.
38:55 Speaker 03 So you spike your stress with?
38:58 Matt McCusker? Dude, I should read the whole post. I just saw the graphic.
39:01 Speaker 03 Any excuse to fucking chug some Joe in the morning.
39:04 Matt McCusker? I was like, you know what, Huberman, you're making a lot of sense right now. Let me just crush. So I need to drink more coffee earlier. That way my cortisol crashes.
39:11 Speaker 03 It's the same excuse people like, you're supposed to drink wine. It's good for you. No, you're not.
39:16 Matt McCusker? Apparently that study.
39:17 Speaker 03 Rest of the study.
39:18 Matt McCusker? Well, the study apparently was completely funded by like alcohol. Yeah, like 100 wine. Wine did the Resveratrol. That was their big thing. There was an antioxidant in grapes called Resveratrol. That's apparently good for you.
39:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
39:31 Matt McCusker? And they always go to Europe. They're like, this is why your pee is so healthy. They drink wine with every meal.
39:35 Speaker 03 I think it's probably also a social thing. You know, if you're hanging out with people, you're gonna have a happier.
39:41 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
39:42 Speaker 03 Better life. You're less likely to.
39:43 Matt McCusker? That's what they say.
39:44 Speaker 03 Lay around and get sick.
39:45 Matt McCusker? Yeah, it's the chill. It's the vibe.
39:47 Speaker 03 It's the B Dubs.
39:48 Matt McCusker? It's the B Dubs Council.
39:48 Speaker 03 I hit a B Dubs Council in, uh, Grand Rapids, Michigan.
39:52 Matt McCusker? Did you really?
39:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
39:53 Matt McCusker? How was it?
39:53 Speaker 03 Hit the council for the UFC on Saturday.
39:55 Matt McCusker? That's nice.
39:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, it was great.
39:57 Matt McCusker? You went to the Dubs?
39:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, assembled the council.
39:59 Matt McCusker? That's nice.
40:00 Speaker 03 The council was me, Sam Talon and Sam Morril. Good council.
40:04 Matt McCusker? That is good. Also, B Dubs is approved by RFK Jr.
40:08 Speaker 03 No, because of the seed oils?
40:09 Matt McCusker? They use the towel. Yeah, they do the beef towel.
40:11 Speaker 03 It was approved.
40:13 Matt McCusker? Yeah, so.
40:13 Speaker 03 You're just following orders.
40:14 Matt McCusker? You're just a soldier following orders.
40:15 Speaker 03 I was listening to the fucking, fine, I'll go to B Dubs. What's your, uh, what's your stance on 32 ounce Bud Lights?
40:22 Matt McCusker? And you're obviously, they're good for you.
40:24 Speaker 03 There's no seed oils.
40:25 Matt McCusker? Dude, I mean, if two, if two a day are good for you, why not 18?
40:28 Speaker 03 Why not have two pitchers? Yeah, that's good.
40:33 Matt McCusker? But yeah, man, that was a, it was a sick week, man. We did the, we did the beach. The beach was very fun, like hanging with the fam and then just did the dreaded show at the Atlantic City Ocean Casino Resort. Why was it so dreaded? Dude, it was. I thought you did great. It was fun. Sure you did great. It was good. It was just new stuff, dude. It was, I pigged out, trying to do that much new. It was psycho. It was an absolute psycho move. Yeah. But it was, it was fun. My heart, my heart was in it. Yeah. I just got too, I got too pumped on the John Martin documentary. Cause the whole time they would, uh, they would talk about how like he was, he was like a really good musician and he would work with like labels and stuff and they'd be like, bro, you're,
41:12 Matt McCusker? you got the goods. Just here, make this one album. You're good. And he would go, couldn't do it. I'd have to make what I wanted. He'd make the weirdest bullshit and it would never work out.
41:23 Matt McCusker? Fuck yeah. It was tight though. He was just like, yeah, well I could have done that. Why would I do that? He's like, I'd rather just play what I want. And then he's like, it just is what it is. Which, you know, I'm not, I'm not liking myself to JM, obviously. Nah, I see it. But it was, it heartened me. It was like, just do the stuff you like doing and just have fun. So, it's cool. Yeah. He was just, it was, him and his bro would hit the bar, just crush pints, play a show in like a theater hall. And he goes, well, you couldn't get back to the pub fast enough. They would go back, crush the Guinnesses.
41:52 Matt McCusker? Yeah. I was thinking about, I kept sending you all the things on the plane. That shit fires me up. Eventually, yeah, but it all, it ended, the ending was rough. It was definitely a cautionary tale. It's gonna be a crash landing. It was a complete crash landing. His diet, so like the funny part was, is like, they started the documentary, the starting point was that like he was laid up in a neck brace. Cause he had been driving drunk and crashed. Get a fucking neck brace. He had the brace and he crashed into a cow in the countryside and got like fucked up. He drunk, he drunk. Fucking sick dude. It's a hell of a run dude. Hell of a run. I know. And then he just. Drunk hit a cow in a neck brace? Drunk, no, the neck brace is what hit the cow. He got fucked. No, I know. I'm saying, that's how, like, I mean, that's a legend.
42:33 Matt McCusker? And then there's like pancreas, one of them, something exploded his spleen, couldn't drink. And then all he would do is drink whiskey and eat, uh, pickled eggs. That was the doctor, like, you gotta get it together. And he's like, all right, whiskey and a pickled egg diet. Just farting himself in your blimp.
42:49 Speaker 03 The worst farts of all time. He was a big guy at the end.
42:52 Matt McCusker? Yeah, he was a big boy.
42:52 Speaker 03 Big dog eating fucking eggs and whiskey.
42:54 Matt McCusker? He was like a, if you look up old videos of John Martin, he was just like a, like a thin rock star type. And he became a for real big dog.
43:02 Speaker 03 Whiskey and eggs is crazy. He'd be a freak.
43:05 Matt McCusker? Whiskied eggs and he had like a mangled foot and then they chopped off at the end of the documentary.
43:09 Speaker 03 It smelled so bad.
43:10 Matt McCusker? Oh, it was crazy. Dude, they wheel, he was doing like, he was for real like a huge musician. And he like was off the road for a while and it ends with him just doing a show in a pub. He was like a, like he had like a cult following.
43:23 Speaker 03 Exactly where he wanted to be.
43:24 Matt McCusker? Awesome dude, it's for real. He just goes back to a small Irish pub and just fucking rips a show for like forty people.
43:30 Speaker 03 I'm telling you dude, that's heaven.
43:30 Matt McCusker? Can't, can't get up. It really was. Sitting down, he can't stand up anymore.
43:34 Speaker 03 I'm sure everything hurt, but.
43:36 Matt McCusker? No dude, he couldn't get there. And then the funniest, the funniest part was, he didn't think of any of the legit, so he just showed up and like no one had any idea where to plug anything in. He just was like, ah fuck, I didn't plan this out at all. To his dying day.
43:49 Speaker 03 It'll work out though.
43:50 Matt McCusker? Dude's a man, I mean, he's a fucking man. He's, he's.
43:52 Speaker 03 If I, if I end up back at Kelly's. Great run.
43:56 Matt McCusker? Huge bro.
43:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:57 Matt McCusker? Sit down at the stool.
43:58 Speaker 03 Sit there and go.
43:59 Matt McCusker? Missing foot.
44:00 Speaker 03 You guys wanna hear a Trump impression?
44:04 Speaker 03 Give me another Guinness, I'll do a Trump impression.
44:08 Matt McCusker? Yeah, he's the fucking bro dude. John Martin's absolute beast. He was, I think Eric Clapton covered one of his songs, then him. He was like, he hung with like the big dogs. And also, uh, dude, who was he? Phil Collins. Him and Phil Collins got divorced at the same time.
44:25 Speaker 03 Oh nice.
44:26 Matt McCusker? And just lived in a house together and both worked on separate albums and they'd be in like recording and they'd have to take turns like fighting with their ex-wives. And Phil Collins was like, it was honestly like one of the saddest periods of my life, hanging out with that guy. But he goes, I got a great album out of it and the guy was a fucking man. They would both be in the, they, was that, yeah, that's dude, look at that, give that bro to the, give him his respects dude. Show him to the cam man. John Martin, final form, absolute fucking beast.
44:54 Speaker 03 Let me take a look at that form.
44:55 Matt McCusker? One fucking foot in the pub in the chair. He's so fu, dude's so fucking sick. I've been studying all the songs. He does like crazy, every song's in like the weirdest tuning possible. He just completely rearranged, what?
45:08 Speaker 03 He's hammered.
45:12 Matt McCusker? And his live performances, let me see that, John, let me, let me let the bro fucking glimpse this. Bro, that is absolute heaven, bro.
45:21 Speaker 03 That's Kelly's pump.
45:22 Matt McCusker? Wheelchair at the pub.
45:24 Speaker 03 That's Kelly's pump, dude.
45:26 Matt McCusker? He's the best.
45:28 Matt McCusker? He's for real the best. Let me show you the before, the before and afters, crazy.
45:32 Speaker 03 I see it.
45:33 Matt McCusker? Yep, there he was.
45:36 Matt McCusker? There he was, just slowly.
45:37 Speaker 03 He must have been eating a ton of those eggs.
45:39 Matt McCusker? Oh, bro, he got so big.
45:41 Speaker 03 So many eggs.
45:43 Matt McCusker? Well, I think one of his organs, one of his organs exploded. He turned into Robotnik, dude.
45:50 Matt McCusker? Yeah, he's truly the fucking man. All of his live performances, he's like, you can hear how coked out he is the entire time. He's like, hello, and all that, whatever, okay, now, yeah. I've been wearing this shirt for seven days in a row, you want to sit down, win from me? Ah, come on now, let's do it, dude. Him and his bro did an album for a, or a, like a promo for an album where they were like supposed to be like boxers in a ring, just that was like the picture. And then out of nowhere, like while they're taking pictures, he just slugged his boy.
46:19 Speaker 03 Obviously, obviously.
46:23 Matt McCusker? Yeah, he was absolutely the fucking man. Yeah, John Martin, he's, I've been getting real deep into his stuff.
46:29 Speaker 03 Are you excited for Oasis?
46:31 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I'm fucking pumped. I'm very pumped on those guys.
46:34 Speaker 03 We're gonna go see Oasis in Chicago.
46:36 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that'll be nice.
46:36 Speaker 03 Very exciting.
46:37 Matt McCusker? That's, that's the best part. I like when guys do like in between songs, they just talk and fuck around.
46:42 Speaker 03 Those, they're like the funniest.
46:43 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I caught him doing it. He's got it down. He's nice.
46:46 Speaker 03 They're both, I watch, I watch their videos as much as I watch them, listen to their music.
46:50 Matt McCusker? Yeah, it's awesome.
46:50 Speaker 03 Their YouTube videos of them just talking shit.
46:52 Matt McCusker? So fucking funny.
46:53 Speaker 03 They had one interview where they, I love it, when he's like, how do you handle a hangover? He's back to the pub, don't dwell on it. Fuck yeah.
47:01 Matt McCusker? Yeah, English guys get after it, dude. English guys don't fuck around. Apparently the pints in America, I've learned, are, they're a lost art. In England, it's like a whole, it's like as much detail as we put into like latte art, over there, like getting that foam top on the beer is like a whole different thing. Their beer's more carbonated, apparently. So they want to, they fill, they overfill the beer on purpose to get that fucking.
47:24 Speaker 03 All this talk's making me want to split the G a little.
47:28 Matt McCusker? I have, I have an English bro who tasked me, he goes, if you, he showed me a picture of a pint, he goes, if you know anywhere that serves a pint like this, let me know, I need, I need it, bro.
47:38 Matt McCusker? But yeah, I have a, I do like the, I'm on a big English kick right now.
47:42 Speaker 03 It's good, they're funny.
47:43 Matt McCusker? They are. They're very funny. Did you see the meme of like the archetypal, uh, English life? Or life of an English guy and it's like, no, it's just like a, it's like a.
47:52 Speaker 03 True, a true Brexit geezer.
47:55 Matt McCusker? Dude, it's just like a seven step point list or checklist where it's like, you know, go to uni, graduate, Thailand trip with the boys, job here, beat wife, die.
48:06 Speaker 03 It's so funny. Shit rocks.
48:10 Matt McCusker? Yeah, they're good bros. The English are good bros. We definitely check out the, uh, I think there's a couple of John Martin documentaries, but dude, it's, fuck, this one is like, I watched it. I was like, damn, this is fucked.
48:20 Matt McCusker? This episode is brought to you by PrizePix.
48:24 Speaker 03 Matt, what was your favorite part of last football season?
48:26 Matt McCusker? Superbowl.
48:27 Speaker 03 Yeah. What, what are you most excited about for the upcoming season?
48:29 Matt McCusker? Superbowl.
48:30 Speaker 03 Superbowl. Can't wait for the Superbowl.
48:32 Matt McCusker? I'm a Superbowl guy.
48:33 Speaker 03 I'll tell you what, Josh Allen, he's gonna have a heck of a year. I'm excited to see what Aaron Rodgers does with the, with the Steelers.
48:39 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
48:39 Speaker 03 I'm a big fan of Aaron Rodgers and he's a great guy. I've, I've met him personally and he's extremely nice. And if you don't cheer for him, you're just being a punk.
48:47 Matt McCusker? True.
48:48 Speaker 03 Uh, all this football talk is getting me pumped and plump. Thankfully the football season is already underway on PrizePix. PrizePix is offering season long stat picks that we can take right now before the season even starts. I'll tell you what, PrizePix is the best way to get on, uh, get action in sports in more than 30 states, including California, Texas and Georgia. So now that you and me are Texans, this is a good, good opportunity for us to use our sports knowledge.
49:12 Matt McCusker? All we have to do is pick more or less on athlete stat projections.
49:15 Speaker 03 All we have to do is download the app today and use code DRENCH to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code DRENCH to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, run your game.
49:26 Matt McCusker? Yes.
49:27 Speaker 03 Uh, Lameez.
49:29 Matt McCusker? Plug, bro.
49:30 Speaker 03 Plug in your magic show.
49:34 Speaker 03 Look at this.
49:36 Speaker 04 Hey everybody, it's me, Lemar. I'm gonna be coming to you out in New Jersey on the 26th.
49:41 Speaker 03 Enough of this cute shit.
49:45 Speaker 03 Alright.
49:47 Speaker 04 New Jersey on the 26th, I'm trying to say FMPA. Boston, Providence, Rhode Island, and then there's another place off of Baltimore. I'm gonna be around. Please come watch the shows. Lemar lead our fun.
50:00 Speaker 03 Yo, also, please go to my YouTube channel.
50:04 Speaker 03 Get my YouTube channel and just check it out, please. You fall every time. Every time you get up from your fucking little cutesy thing. Uh, hey guys, I just added a bunch of shows just now. Uh, buy tickets, buy tickets, please. I just, uh... That's like four feet away from where you were. It's a crazy size. He's trying to get out of the camera. The camera got, he saw that red light, it got to him.
50:27 Speaker 03 Uh, yeah. Goodbye. Bye. I'm gonna peep that. But that's what he loved to do. I watched a way worse documentary. Did I tell you this last week about the cameraman in Iraq? No. Don't watch it. I forget what it's called. It was this guy who like, it's a, it's a good documentary, but the way it ends is fucking horrific. What happens? That he's following soldiers around, they shoot an Iraqi and let him die. Okay. Like, they like drag him, because by law, we're supposed to, the United States is supposed to try to revive someone. Okay. Or like help them. Was it a civilian? No, it was, he had a gun. He was shooting at them. Oh, alright. So they were like, yeah, but it's on camera. He just sits there and films this guy die. And you see the guy like...
51:11 Speaker 03 Like it's, it's fucked. That's the enemy. Of course, but, you know. Watching it's fucked up. Filming it's crazy. But you have to revive the guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? We're supposed to at least give him medical attention. We are the nicest, dude. Yeah, we could destroy... Yeah.
51:28 Matt McCusker? What's so weird? It is weird. Like, you have to shoot them, but you also have to try to revive them. I mean, it's nice. I get the point. It's nice. But that's also fucking weird. Like, I guess you don't. I guess you want to just-
51:39 Speaker 03 Well, these guys didn't.
51:40 Matt McCusker? Yeah, yeah.
51:40 Speaker 03 They were sitting there like, fuck you, dude.
51:42 Matt McCusker? If someone-
51:42 Speaker 03 While he's laying there dying, the guy that one of the troops comes over is like, oh, yo, you thought you were fucking cool a second ago. Now look at you. You're fucking dead.
51:48 Matt McCusker? Yeah, if someone was shooting at me, I'd be angry as well, though.
51:51 Speaker 03 I'd be furious, yeah. Especially after all the things they've seen.
51:54 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
51:54 Speaker 03 Like, you saw your friends get shot.
51:55 Matt McCusker? Yes, exactly. That's such a weird rule.
51:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, if somebody harmed you and I saw them dying, I wouldn't be like, help them.
52:01 Matt McCusker? If somebody tried to end my life, I wouldn't be like, alright, guys, timeout. Because then you can also get shot while you're helping the guy.
52:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:08 Matt McCusker? Unless, I mean, did they have-
52:08 Speaker 03 No, they pulled him into like a-
52:09 Matt McCusker? Pulled him into the shelter?
52:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:10 Matt McCusker? And just talk shit to him?
52:11 Speaker 03 Yeah. Put a blanket over his head. They're like, he's dead. Clearly not dead.
52:16 Matt McCusker? Well, you can, but you can still talk shit to them and try to, like, put a Band-Aid on them.
52:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:20 Matt McCusker? And this guy just filmed the whole thing?
52:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:22 Matt McCusker? So that was his, I thought you-
52:23 Speaker 03 This guy was fucked, though. He was, he was an Australian dude and he was, he got to Iraq right away. Like, right before the war started.
52:31 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
52:32 Speaker 03 And he got, like, embedded with a bunch of people, but he became like a liaison between Al Qaeda. So Al Qaeda was giving him their tapes to give to the press. And he would go out with them at night.
52:45 Matt McCusker? What?
52:46 Speaker 03 And film them firing mortars into, like, US bases.
52:50 Matt McCusker? Does he die yet? I thought you were gonna tell me this guy dies.
52:53 Speaker 03 He makes it.
52:55 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that's crazy.
52:56 Speaker 03 Yeah. What's it called?
52:59 Speaker 03 No. It's older, yeah.
53:05 Speaker 00 I see one called The Cameraman's Story from 2003. And another one called, no, that can't be right. Honduras?
53:15 Matt McCusker? That's kind of, how the fuck do you even set that up? Like, yo, guys, I'm gonna, can I have some of your-
53:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, I guess it is only the dead. Yeah, Michael Ware's guys. Yeah, that must be it. Unless there's a different Australian- Version of that.
53:28 Matt McCusker? Is that how that ends?
53:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, Al Zawahiri's in it. Yeah, that's it.
53:30 Matt McCusker? Is that how it ends?
53:31 Speaker 03 That's how it ends, is him filming a guy die for like ten minutes.
53:34 Matt McCusker? Does the soldiers get in trouble?
53:36 Speaker 03 I bet the soldiers got in trouble.
53:37 Matt McCusker? Oh, man, what a dick.
53:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
53:38 Matt McCusker? Why'd he film that?
53:40 Speaker 03 I don't know, but.
53:41 Matt McCusker? I guess it's his job to like.
53:42 Speaker 03 When you watch it, you, there's, I know you can't understand, we can't understand.
53:45 Matt McCusker? No, watching a guy die in real life.
53:47 Speaker 03 Watching a guy die and seeing dudes be like, fuck him, it's like.
53:50 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
53:51 Speaker 03 This is some harsh.
53:52 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I mean, it's literally the harshest.
53:53 Speaker 03 It's the worst thing ever.
53:54 Matt McCusker? The meanest you can be.
53:55 Speaker 03 It's the worst thing. I was just laying on the couch, watching like. The fuck? I gotta play with the Toledo Rockets. Dude, we gotta get some action.
54:02 Matt McCusker? Yeah, but if you're like, I mean, it's not even competitive, would not even be the word, but like. I'd be, you'd be so charged up, dude. You're in a firefight.
54:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
54:11 Matt McCusker? I, I couldn't, you're not even thinking clearly. That's when people talk about like cops and shit. It's like, dude, so they just got shot at.
54:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
54:16 Matt McCusker? So, yeah, they emptied a clip in him. It's like, it's not nice. You shouldn't do that. But it's like, bro, I'd be, I'd spaz the fuck out.
54:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
54:22 Matt McCusker? I can hardly not spaz like driving with my wife.
54:25 Speaker 03 Dude, they, the footage of him filming, it's like night vision of all the Al Qaeda guys is like, it's scary, bro.
54:32 Matt McCusker? Yeah, dude.
54:33 Speaker 03 And it was right when David, his name's David Pearl, right? The guy got his head, the journalist?
54:38 Matt McCusker? Oh, no.
54:38 Speaker 03 That got beheaded. So this guy, this guy was crazy. He was like willing to, he's like, yeah, I'll meet up with you guys.
54:44 Matt McCusker? I'll get the scoop.
54:44 Speaker 03 They might cut my head off, but.
54:46 Matt McCusker? Oh.
54:46 Speaker 03 Yeah.
54:47 Matt McCusker? Damn.
54:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, they show that a little. They show the pearl thing a little. In the documentary, that's a tough one.
54:53 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that's fucked up.
54:54 Speaker 03 It's really, they like show it right before they cut his head and then they, you hear his, the audio of it.
54:59 Matt McCusker? Oh.
54:59 Speaker 03 It's so bad.
55:00 Matt McCusker? Oh.
55:01 Speaker 03 It's like the most, no.
55:03 Matt McCusker? Oh.
55:03 Speaker 03 It's never a clean sweat.
55:04 Matt McCusker? Yeah, true.
55:05 Speaker 03 It's a knife. It's literally a.
55:06 Matt McCusker? Oh, Jesus, man.
55:07 Speaker 03 It's a saw every time.
55:08 Matt McCusker? Oh.
55:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's really bad.
55:12 Matt McCusker? Oh, that's true.
55:13 Speaker 03 I don't know if you guys knew that. The Iraq war was bad.
55:15 Matt McCusker? Yeah, yeah.
55:16 Speaker 03 So I just found out. It's 2025.
55:19 Matt McCusker? I'm still confused how they even like fight wars now with all the technology. It's like. It's crazy. Like you have satellites giving you all the imaging.
55:26 Speaker 03 You'd think though, but Ukraine, Russia is fucking like trench warfare.
55:31 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
55:31 Speaker 03 Just with shitty like Walmart drones.
55:34 Matt McCusker? God damn.
55:35 Speaker 03 Just come in and blow you up.
55:37 Matt McCusker? Yeah, but like, oh, man, I guess every, I guess everyone, not everyone, but I guess the major powers have competing technology, so.
55:44 Speaker 03 Yeah.
55:44 Matt McCusker? You can like do like signal blockers.
55:46 Speaker 03 Russia would be going wild.
55:49 Matt McCusker? You would think, are they not? Didn't hundreds of thousands of people die?
55:52 Speaker 03 No, they, yeah, a lot, but I just mean like the technology. It's so weird. The technology now is like you set up fucking like fishing wire above your line so drones can't come in. So there's just like lines. Yeah, there's just wires everywhere.
56:06 Matt McCusker? What?
56:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's fucked up.
56:08 Matt McCusker? Oh, so it's a little like.
56:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's like trench warfare with a canopy of like tiny wires.
56:14 Matt McCusker? Stop the drones.
56:15 Speaker 03 Yeah. It's crazy.
56:17 Matt McCusker? That's fucking scary.
56:18 Speaker 03 The scariest, yeah, dude, watch, I mean, don't watch it.
56:21 Matt McCusker? I guess it's like, it'd have to, the canopy would have to be like the sides blockaded too. So you have like a tunnel.
56:26 Speaker 03 Every once in a while, I've seen drone footage of one getting into like a tunnel.
56:29 Matt McCusker? Oh, no.
56:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:30 Matt McCusker? And the drones are just like doing little robot attacks?
56:33 Speaker 03 Drones, they're literally like.
56:35 Matt McCusker? Yeah, yeah, like the shitty Walmart drones, but they, are they weaponized?
56:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, they just tie a fucking grenade to it.
56:40 Matt McCusker? Ah.
56:41 Speaker 03 It's so scary.
56:42 Matt McCusker? Oh, man.
56:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:43 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I mean, dude, let's, yeah, we gotta all come to the table, dude.
56:46 Speaker 03 You gotta come, they came to the table this week.
56:48 Matt McCusker? I heard.
56:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:49 Matt McCusker? That's good.
56:50 Speaker 03 It was nice. I watched the Trump dog, Zelensky, Macron, I watched them at a table. They were buddies.
56:56 Matt McCusker? But there was no Russians at the table.
56:58 Speaker 03 Putin was not there. They're trying to get Putin.
57:00 Matt McCusker? He sent one of his bros?
57:01 Speaker 03 No, it was just, I think it was like a securities guarantee. I forget exactly what that is with Ukraine.
57:06 Matt McCusker? Isn't it going in the way of like Russia's gonna get a little bit of Ukraine? I don't think they're gonna take it over completely.
57:11 Speaker 03 That's like the problem.
57:13 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
57:13 Speaker 03 Zelensky is saying, we're not gonna concede that territory.
57:17 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
57:17 Speaker 03 And, but also we won't join NATO. That's kind of the, it's kind of the big thing.
57:24 Matt McCusker? Alright.
57:25 Speaker 03 And I think Russia wants Ukraine to demilitarize, which.
57:30 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
57:31 Speaker 03 If I'm Ukraine, I'm going, not so fast.
57:36 Speaker 03 Hold on a second.
57:38 Matt McCusker? Yeah, true. They're just like completely coming in with tanks.
57:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, we're gonna leave, but you don't, you don't get to have guns anymore.
57:44 Matt McCusker? Oh.
57:45 Speaker 03 We'll be back in five years.
57:47 Matt McCusker? Yeah, true. I don't know, maybe, I mean, yeah.
57:51 Speaker 03 That's why I like seeing Trump on the roof, dude. When he was walking around the roof.
57:54 Matt McCusker? What was he doing on the roof?
57:55 Speaker 03 He was just up there taking a walk. He was on the roof of the White House. Reporters were like, Mr. President, what are you doing? He was just.
58:02 Speaker 03 Going for a walk. I like that. Before you go to the negotiating table, stroll around on the roof like fucking Zeus at Spud's house. Yeah, dude, this guy's retarded as fuck.
58:13 Matt McCusker? You just took a roof stroll?
58:14 Speaker 03 Took a mad dog walk, dude.
58:16 Matt McCusker? Was it like a, like a?
58:17 Speaker 03 There's nothing out there. There's no like garden or anything. The roof is like HVAC units. He was just walking around up there. What are you up there?
58:27 Matt McCusker? Hopefully they figure it out, man, because we got.
58:28 Speaker 03 That's good, though, before a meeting.
58:30 Matt McCusker? Yeah, get on the roof.
58:31 Speaker 03 Stand on the roof, watch the, watch your guests come in.
58:34 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
58:35 Speaker 03 Like Batman.
58:36 Matt McCusker? I mean, dude, and I'm, I'm still mystified, like, how much, like, it's a dumb question, but like, how much say does the president really have? And I, do they have like the final word for real? Or are there people being like, yo, bro, like, no, you have to? Because I guess they're just getting advised and then they have to.
58:50 Speaker 03 If we're talking deep state, I guess he's not, yeah.
58:53 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I don't know. You know what I mean? But it is tight to just get up on the roof and like, I'm making a big decision right now.
58:57 Speaker 03 I'm just thinking up here. He didn't even say he was thinking. He literally, a reporter yelled, and he goes, just taking a walk. Jesus Christ. I'm back, though. That's all it takes. Give me one fucking shot of him walking on the roof. I'm like, yo, that's the bro.
59:11 Matt McCusker? Guys, if I see guys on the roof.
59:13 Speaker 03 I forgot about that.
59:14 Matt McCusker? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
59:15 Speaker 03 Forget about the fucking list, dude.
59:17 Matt McCusker? Yeah, the letter, the letter is, hopefully it's not real.
59:20 Speaker 03 They did, Trump continues to just do the best work of all time. Never bring it up.
59:26 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
59:27 Speaker 03 Just go, this will pass.
59:29 Matt McCusker? It will.
59:29 Speaker 03 These fuckers will forget about it.
59:31 Matt McCusker? It will. It'll pass. It'll, it will. It is, it is funny just to be like, bro, like, man, that's such fucking old, that's old hat, man.
59:38 Speaker 03 It's crazy.
59:39 Matt McCusker? That's such old news.
59:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
59:41 Matt McCusker? I've been, I've been seeing, uh, because it reminded me of that, because I used, a lot of the Dems use like weirdo on a lot of the repubs.
59:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, they're hitting, they're hitting weird, yeah.
59:50 Matt McCusker? I, now there's, I, I get a lot of like parenting stuff, and now there's people going viral, and they all do it. There's like, they all see one thing and then they start copying it, but there's a bunch of like parenting experts being like, don't make your kid weird. You know what I'm talking about. And everyone's like, yeah, it's just like a weird like, like, what are you talking about?
1:00:09 Speaker 03 He's gonna be weird.
1:00:10 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:00:10 Speaker 03 If you're a parent watching TikToks about not making them weird.
1:00:13 Matt McCusker? That's what I'm saying.
1:00:14 Speaker 03 You got a weird kid.
1:00:16 Matt McCusker? I think.
1:00:17 Speaker 03 And my kid, who's been sitting on a couch watching me play Dynasty with Toledo, he's gonna beat the fuck out of your kid, dude.
1:00:22 Matt McCusker? He's gonna chill.
1:00:23 Speaker 03 He's been watching grind the film, dude.
1:00:24 Matt McCusker? Yeah, but it's like, it is weird. They're coming out being, and it's like, I don't know if it's like purposely like to get people to like argue in the comments, but it's like, you need to make them not weird. It's your responsibility. And you know what I'm talking about. It's people being like, oh, I know what he's talking about. It's like, they're all fucking weird as hell.
1:00:41 Speaker 03 Is it like homophobic?
1:00:42 Matt McCusker? No, I, I, I don't think it is.
1:00:44 Speaker 03 Be like, dude, don't make your kid.
1:00:45 Matt McCusker? Maybe, that would be funny.
1:00:46 Speaker 03 Fuck I'm talking about, dude. Don't make me say it. Your kid better not be weird.
1:00:51 Matt McCusker? I don't know what they're talking about.
1:00:53 Speaker 03 I don't want that gay shit at my school.
1:00:58 Matt McCusker? That's been coming up for me a lot, just being like, you, it's your job to correct that. Teachers have to deal with weird kids and it's not fair. It's like, what are you saying?
1:01:07 Speaker 03 I get it. I'm with the teachers on that.
1:01:09 Matt McCusker? I, I, I.
1:01:10 Speaker 03 You having fucking weird ass kids show up to school?
1:01:13 Matt McCusker? Yeah, but they're like, you can't, that's just like, your parents are, I always, I always equated it to, if you had like, super nerd parents.
1:01:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:01:21 Matt McCusker? You're gonna raise a nerd. Same with fat.
1:01:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:01:24 Matt McCusker? Fat families are a thing.
1:01:26 Speaker 03 There's no harm in the, the nerd kid.
1:01:29 Matt McCusker? I mean, he's gonna just, I mean, as a teacher.
1:01:32 Speaker 03 As long as he's a smart nerd.
1:01:33 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:01:34 Speaker 03 That was, that was a big revelation.
1:01:35 Matt McCusker? Dumb nerds, bro.
1:01:36 Speaker 03 Dumb nerds. They're mostly dumb. It's not fucking Big Bang Theory. They're dumb as shit.
1:01:41 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:01:41 Speaker 03 And they're mean dumb fuckers.
1:01:43 Matt McCusker? I, I got fucked in college. I cheated off the nerdiest looking kid and he was a dumb nerd.
1:01:47 Speaker 03 Literally dumb as shit.
1:01:48 Matt McCusker? Both got like 74, so I was like, what the fuck, dude?
1:01:51 Speaker 03 Why do you look like that?
1:01:52 Matt McCusker? You can't even walk normal. I figured you would ace this test.
1:01:55 Speaker 03 You walk fast as hell, dude. I thought you were the smartest kid alive.
1:01:58 Matt McCusker? You walk at a 45 degree incline.
1:02:00 Speaker 03 So fast.
1:02:01 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I was just like, this kid was like such a wretched nerd that I was like, bingo, here's my ticket through this class. I got a 75.
1:02:07 Speaker 03 Tom Hare's laughing because he's a dumb nerd. I would have thought you were a super genius, dude.
1:02:14 Matt McCusker? He's a 45 degree angle guy, man. Like, he got me.
1:02:18 Speaker 03 90 pound fucking bookbag, dude.
1:02:21 Matt McCusker? On his tippy toes at all times.
1:02:24 Speaker 03 Tippy toe walker, no friends, giant bookbag.
1:02:27 Matt McCusker? Could have sworn.
1:02:27 Speaker 03 This kid's gonna get a 95.
1:02:28 Matt McCusker? Bro, you'd think he would crush the bio exam.
1:02:32 Matt McCusker? My mom gave me a booklet of like basically grade school of like all my report cards, pictures, all this stuff. Dude, I did so good from like first to third grade. I didn't really, I was like crushing it in school. I, I didn't, I don't even remember this. I had like, in first grade, I was in like the Garnet Valley newspaper for fucking spelling bee. Apparently I was a spelling whiz when I was little. I can't, I can't spell diarrhea still to save my life.
1:02:57 Speaker 03 Diarrhea is.
1:02:58 Matt McCusker? Every time I.
1:02:59 Speaker 03 Diarrhea is impossible.
1:03:00 Matt McCusker? I might get a private tutor just to teach me how to spell diarrhea. Every time I try to write it in a text message, I, I try to write it like four times a week.
1:03:07 Speaker 03 So badly, it's not even, no one's close. Spell check's not even close.
1:03:11 Matt McCusker? I can't.
1:03:11 Speaker 03 Do you mean daughter? It's like, no.
1:03:13 Matt McCusker? Every time diarrhea, I'm like, dude, come on. You know what I'm talking about.
1:03:18 Speaker 03 You know exactly what I'm talking about.
1:03:19 Matt McCusker? Dude, it's been really funny just going back through all my report cards. I was such a good little kid.
1:03:24 Speaker 03 I was, bro, I was the number one kid.
1:03:26 Matt McCusker? You were, you were a good boy.
1:03:28 Speaker 03 Till seventh or eighth, till puberty.
1:03:30 Matt McCusker? I think fourth. I think I got straight A's until like seventh or eighth grade. I turned bad in like fourth.
1:03:35 Speaker 03 I remember I got a C. My last report card ever in eighth grade.
1:03:40 Matt McCusker? Really?
1:03:41 Speaker 03 Had to call my parents.
1:03:42 Matt McCusker? I was getting O's.
1:03:44 Speaker 03 Fucking C. And they were like, I don't give a fuck, dude.
1:03:46 Matt McCusker? I was getting O's and VGs. Religion, I was O's, bro.
1:03:49 Speaker 03 I think when I was real young, like first and third, I was getting some, I was a bad kid.
1:03:54 Matt McCusker? Really?
1:03:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:03:55 Matt McCusker? I was, I was a good boy, bro. I, I thought I was like bad when I was, I remember getting in trouble, but I was getting like, it was kind of nuts.
1:04:02 Speaker 03 It wasn't like bad.
1:04:03 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I was just getting like redirected a lot. Yeah. But no, I, I also, and it's funny looking.
1:04:08 Speaker 03 Like getting kicked out of school for being a sex pervert.
1:04:09 Matt McCusker? No, that was off the table. I do, it's funny seeing like reading the shit you wrote as a kid.
1:04:15 Speaker 03 Keep cutting you off. I'm so sorry.
1:04:16 Matt McCusker? Please, please.
1:04:17 Speaker 03 My dad would beat the fuck out of me if I got kicked out of a school for being a sex pervert.
1:04:22 Matt McCusker? Wasn't, it wasn't an option, bro.
1:04:24 Speaker 03 I would get fucking, dude, I would get beat. I'd, yeah, he'd beat me up.
1:04:28 Matt McCusker? No, that was.
1:04:28 Speaker 03 It wouldn't be like a, a belt or anything. It would be like a fistfight.
1:04:32 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:04:32 Speaker 03 Beating.
1:04:33 Matt McCusker? Dis- disrespect was a big one. If I like, if I, dress code violations, he'd be like, come on, man.
1:04:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:04:38 Matt McCusker? If I was like disrespectful, I would get my ass kicked.
1:04:42 Speaker 03 No offense to your parenting. I'm just putting myself in the shoes of them finding porn at school. I'm getting the fuck beat out of me.
1:04:51 Speaker 00 Well, that teacher shouldn't have went through my thing.
1:04:52 Speaker 03 For sure.
1:04:53 Speaker 00 And she was always, that guy's counsel, she was always on my ass. It was a whole long thing.
1:04:59 Speaker 03 That might be, that's a positive of having African American parents.
1:05:03 Speaker 00 What?
1:05:03 Speaker 03 Like, did you even have a warrant to go through his phone?
1:05:07 Speaker 03 My parents would have been like, you did the right thing, sir.
1:05:09 Speaker 00 They didn't, my mom, neither one of them did that. They were mad at it, but uh.
1:05:13 Speaker 03 Do you have a warrant? My son ain't no fucking sex pervert.
1:05:18 Speaker 00 No, it wasn't, it wasn't, I don't remember, man. That wasn't that big of a deal. I was sixteen and I was on the porn.
1:05:24 Speaker 03 Sixteen?
1:05:25 Speaker 00 Yeah, tenth grade, sixteen, yeah, sixteen then.
1:05:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, I guess that's old enough that I wouldn't have got my ass beat.
1:05:30 Speaker 00 Yeah. And the pictures were just.
1:05:34 Speaker 03 It was just pictures.
1:05:34 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:05:35 Matt McCusker? Yeah, picture pics. Getting kicked out of school though, I would have got, it would have been the apocalypse. If I got kicked out, it would have been game over.
1:05:44 Speaker 03 I had in school suspension. My dad belted me.
1:05:46 Matt McCusker? Yeah, you get in trouble for it. When'd you get in school suspension?
1:05:50 Speaker 03 Seventh, eighth.
1:05:51 Matt McCusker? Ooh, grade school in school suspensions. Yeah, that's a death sentence.
1:05:54 Speaker 03 Got the belt.
1:05:55 Matt McCusker? By the time I got in high school, it wasn't, yeah, by the time.
1:05:58 Speaker 03 I didn't do anything that bad.
1:06:00 Matt McCusker? What'd you do?
1:06:00 Speaker 03 Fucking laughed because my friend farted during Stations of the Cross.
1:06:03 Matt McCusker? That's bullshit.
1:06:04 Speaker 03 And then when I got detention, I yelled, he farted. And she was like, that's two in one day, that's in school suspension, you're out, get out. Stood in the hallway, cried, just going, my dad's gonna beat the fuck out of me. I called it.
1:06:18 Matt McCusker? Yeah. Yeah, my dad chilled. By the time we got to high school, it was just, you were just getting in trouble. It wasn't getting like, you weren't getting, because I got suspended in high school.
1:06:26 Speaker 03 It was crazy to belt me in high school, dude. I was like six three, two seventy.
1:06:30 Matt McCusker? By then, yeah. By then, you're too big. By then, like, especially like, you know, me and my three brothers could have ganged up, try to fucking do some damn.
1:06:37 Speaker 03 I started beating Phil's ass.
1:06:38 Matt McCusker? Did you?
1:06:39 Speaker 03 Junior and senior year. He would have won in a fistfight, but wrestling, I could tackle him and hold him down.
1:06:44 Matt McCusker? I thought I could. I stepped up to my dad freshman year and he like picked me up and dropped my ass.
1:06:48 Speaker 03 Freshman sophomore year, he was still hitting me. Yeah, I told you, I got slapped in the face for drinking. Like, did you drink? No. Took my shirt off. I was like, I'll fucking fuck you right now, you fucking pussy. And I'd run back upstairs and cry, cry to my mom, then I'd run back downstairs and go, I'll fucking beat your fucking ass. You're a fucking drunk. I'm not a drunk.
1:07:10 Matt McCusker? Just having like four fruit punch and vodka.
1:07:12 Speaker 03 For real, I was wearing a white Michael Vick jersey. It's covered in fruit punch. And I kept coming down the steps, like, oh, you fucking piece of shit. He was drunk enough that he was talking shit back. He was like, yeah, right, pussy, I'll fuck you up.
1:07:26 Speaker 03 It's like, as a dad, you gotta be like, shut up. I think he actually tried to shut up like five times.
1:07:31 Matt McCusker? I stepped to my dad one time, I think freshman year. I was like, what dude, what are you really gonna do? And he was, he just like stared at me for several seconds. It was like, get the fuck out of my face and go upstairs. And I was like, yeah, I was like, thank fucking god.
1:07:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:07:43 Matt McCusker? I was so, I was like swaying on my feet drunk. And he was probably just tighty-whites, just being like, bro. Now, especially knowing how fucking angry they were, like dude, there was, they were fucking dying. Six kids, just working.
1:08:00 Speaker 03 One of them taking his shirt off, being like, you piece of shit, I'll beat your ass. Just going, dude, go to bed.
1:08:07 Matt McCusker? Just doing hard.
1:08:08 Speaker 03 I was shad. I was full shad.
1:08:10 Matt McCusker? Dude, hard, physical labor?
1:08:11 Speaker 03 The body cam video, the guy at the hospital, or the guy at the hotel. We didn't watch that?
1:08:16 Matt McCusker? No.
1:08:17 Speaker 03 Oh, you would have loved it. It's just some, Chris O'Connor showed me. It's just this extremely drunk guy at a hotel. And the cops just keep being like, shad, go to bed. His name's Shane, S H A D.
1:08:27 Matt McCusker? Shane is crazy.
1:08:28 Speaker 03 And he's like, no, no, I'm not going to bed. You motherfuckers. And like, Shane, come on dude, just go to bed. He's like, no, I'm not doing it. It's an hour of this guy.
1:08:37 Matt McCusker? When you left, you put on cops.
1:08:39 Speaker 03 Big body cam footage right now.
1:08:40 Matt McCusker? You left a good video. The guy probably was beating his girlfriend. They were both kinda like coked up and drunk. And he was sitting outside and they were just like, dude, just, if you leave, all you gotta do is leave. All you gotta do is leave.
1:08:52 Speaker 03 I'm not leaving.
1:08:53 Matt McCusker? Fucking out of here. And he would take his sneaker and be like, fuck! And he'd just throw it on the ground. And then finally, they like, he starts to walk away. And then one cop is like, kinda knowing, like dude, we can't send this. This guy's a loose cannon. They're like, come on, man. He's like, I thought you said I could leave. And they're like, no. You're under arrest. He's like, fine. Then he just goes to the car and just goes bang, slams his head. He goes, why'd you guys make me do that?
1:09:11 Speaker 03 They love doing that.
1:09:11 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that's a sick move.
1:09:13 Speaker 03 There's my favorite one. I just watched recently. It was a domestic dispute. The, but it looked like it was clearly the lady.
1:09:20 Matt McCusker? Ah, yeah.
1:09:21 Speaker 03 Guy was all fucked up and she was fine. And, uh,
1:09:23 Matt McCusker? Cops are good at sniffing that out.
1:09:24 Speaker 03 She had had a couple before that with different guys.
1:09:27 Matt McCusker? Ah.
1:09:27 Speaker 03 But they go, they go inside, they interview everybody and then they come back outside. She's the one who was like, get him, get him right now. She like walked up to the cops.
1:09:34 Matt McCusker? I feel like that's the rule of thumb. The first person you see in a domestic dispute was the beater.
1:09:38 Speaker 03 Yes.
1:09:39 Matt McCusker? I swear to God, every time.
1:09:40 Speaker 03 They spin her around to put the cuffs on the back of her shirt. It's a giant logo of a twisted T and it says it's a bad day to be a twisted T.
1:09:49 Speaker 03 So nice. Getting arrested in the bad day to be a twisted.
1:09:55 Matt McCusker? I mean, you know how many people across the country caught the twisted fury from their wives and girlfriends?
1:10:02 Matt McCusker? Just to hit you and call the cops.
1:10:03 Speaker 03 Metal dude. Full twisted metal.
1:10:06 Matt McCusker? Uh, hits you and calls the cops. The cops come, you're just like, Jesus fucking Christ.
1:10:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:10:11 Matt McCusker? Just got off of work.
1:10:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:10:13 Matt McCusker? It's hell. That's truly hell. Yeah. I, I've never like, I constantly marvel at how hard the wheels can come off. In a home life and it's not that hard, dude. It can happen so easily. Just like, it's just not that hard. Especially if you grow up and you have like no decent example.
1:10:32 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:10:33 Matt McCusker? And you just, now you're married and you're like, hold on a second. I remember what to do.
1:10:37 Speaker 03 Yeah. If she yells, I can make her stop yelling.
1:10:43 Matt McCusker? Maybe my stepdad was right after all these.
1:10:45 Speaker 03 Yeah, maybe my mom was a bitch and my stepdad was the fucking man. Yeah, I'm gonna hit her. I'm gonna see what happens. I'm gonna throw a fucking jab, throw a combo in the kitchen.
1:10:57 Matt McCusker? I mean, it's crazy. There's no classes on that. If you grow up.
1:11:00 Speaker 03 On not hitting?
1:11:02 Matt McCusker? Just on like, how did like coexist peacefully? Like, nobody knows how to do it even.
1:11:06 Speaker 03 No one can calm a lady down.
1:11:08 Matt McCusker? Nobody can do it.
1:11:09 Speaker 03 No one on earth.
1:11:10 Matt McCusker? But you said like, if you, you could barely read, you have, you're just, it's just your daily experience. You have like maybe an old grandfather who was like in the picture or worked at a factory. Now you gotta deal with an angry drunk lady.
1:11:23 Speaker 03 And also, also you're wrecked.
1:11:24 Matt McCusker? You're hammered.
1:11:25 Speaker 03 You're hammered. It's a bad day to be a twisted. It was a terrible day to be a twisted.
1:11:31 Matt McCusker? I'm not saying it's right, but it's like, it's, it's like, it's impos- it's an impossible situation for anyone to figure out, let alone somebody on like, maybe a seventh grade reading level. Being like, you're getting absolutely mind fucked by a lady after you're working at a job that sucks, and she's drunk and you're drunk. To try to peacefully figure your way out of that maze, I would say is impossible.
1:11:58 Matt McCusker? Again, you can't hit them.
1:11:58 Speaker 03 Especially she, she swings first. It kinda hurts.
1:12:02 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:12:03 Speaker 03 You go, I didn't think that was gonna hurt. You fucking scratched my face.
1:12:05 Matt McCusker? It hurts.
1:12:06 Speaker 03 Now you, now you go, I can't let you get close. You shoot the legs.
1:12:10 Matt McCusker? Hey, you're just reacting. You're reacting.
1:12:11 Speaker 03 I can't let you get close. Shoot the legs. Fucking full on fucking, hams out him.
1:12:17 Matt McCusker? The cops come and just beat the shit out of you.
1:12:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, then you get your ass beat by the cops.
1:12:20 Matt McCusker? Cops come, kick your ass. Although I'm telling you, cops, I, I've just heard enough stories where they're pretty good at ferreting out when it was just a lady going nuts.
1:12:28 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:12:29 Matt McCusker? Cause they'll come, I've heard enough people.
1:12:30 Speaker 03 Think if a guy goes nuts, it's obvious.
1:12:32 Matt McCusker? That's kinda, I think, I think that's the case.
1:12:34 Speaker 03 Fucking damaged.
1:12:35 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:12:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:12:36 Matt McCusker? That's, I think that's their indicator. It's like, yeah, you know, if this guy hit you, you'd be like, for real fucked up.
1:12:40 Speaker 03 Yeah. I don't know, I could be wrong. And usually those guys aren't fucking suddenly smart enough to be playing it cool in front of the cops.
1:12:46 Matt McCusker? No.
1:12:46 Speaker 03 Yeah. Usually they're back in the house and they're like, I have a gun in here. You have to fucking kill me. Get the fuck out of my house.
1:12:53 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:12:54 Speaker 03 I have a gun.
1:12:56 Matt McCusker? I think if you just come up and just see a dude sitting on the front porch, just like, holding his head, you're like, alright, here's the victim, right?
1:13:01 Speaker 03 Got the nice back.
1:13:02 Matt McCusker? If someone's just like, pacing their porch like.
1:13:05 Speaker 03 I do shit. Fuck off my property. You got a warrant?
1:13:10 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that's hell, man. It can really descend into a hellscape so easily.
1:13:15 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:13:15 Matt McCusker? It's terrible.
1:13:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:13:17 Matt McCusker? And it's, I feel like it's, I'm not gonna say the norm, but it's like, if you're like a bad neighborhood, the houses, a lot of times.
1:13:25 Speaker 03 Well, now that it's criminalized.
1:13:27 Matt McCusker? True.
1:13:28 Speaker 03 You know?
1:13:28 Matt McCusker? True, that's true.
1:13:29 Speaker 03 Back in the day, it was fully legal.
1:13:30 Matt McCusker? It was legalized, bro.
1:13:32 Speaker 03 We were a little quiet.
1:13:33 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:13:34 Speaker 03 Then they said legalize it. We gotta legalize it, dude. Tired of this fucking government regulation.
1:13:40 Matt McCusker? That must have been crazy to be the first group of dudes where they're like, no, no, no, no, no.
1:13:44 Speaker 03 I think it was like the 90s, dude. I think it was our parents.
1:13:46 Matt McCusker? It was.
1:13:46 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:13:47 Matt McCusker? Yeah, they true.
1:13:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:13:49 Matt McCusker? True. We deal with pronouns. They have to deal with fucking not fucking absolutely gut punching.
1:13:53 Speaker 03 Not those in the combo. Not going straight to the body. Going straight to the body hooks.
1:13:57 Matt McCusker? Yeah. I mean, yeah, you're in, you're deep into, you're deep in the ninth inning of an argument. It's like, no, you said this and you're like, I can't remember what I said. Yeah. I'm gonna do the annexation of Puerto Rico, dude.
1:14:09 Speaker 03 It's time.
1:14:09 Matt McCusker? It's time.
1:14:10 Speaker 03 It's time for my trick play. The Philly special.
1:14:14 Speaker 03 Philly, Philly, dude. You get hit in the headset talking to the coach. Philly, Philly, you wanna run it?
1:14:19 Matt McCusker? Yep.
1:14:19 Speaker 03 Let's run it.
1:14:20 Matt McCusker? I still think we should legalize bouncer protocol. Cause if you're a bouncer, they get to deal with angry drunk women. You know how you have to do it? You have to get them on the side of your hip, fold their arms across their breasts and you can physically remove them from the establishment. That's legal.
1:14:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:14:36 Matt McCusker? If you don't feel like arguing anymore, you should be able to come here, fold her arms across her chest. Bouncer. Bouncer into another room and then just fuck sprint, bro.
1:14:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:14:45 Matt McCusker? You can't back, you can't back yard. You'll be howling at the moon. You can't back yard them. But it's like.
1:14:51 Speaker 03 That's riding the tiger, though. You know what I mean? That's holding the tiger's ears. Holding the tiger by the ears. You go, I can't let go. I gotta toss you in the backyard.
1:15:00 Matt McCusker? You should just have two safe rooms where you, that's like.
1:15:04 Speaker 03 You should just get a panic room.
1:15:05 Matt McCusker? A panic.
1:15:05 Speaker 03 Next time you fight your wife, press a button, the bookshelf closes.
1:15:15 Speaker 03 Panic room is nice.
1:15:17 Matt McCusker? That's nice. And I like people who barricade themselves. Barricaders are nice when you just fucking for some reason stack like four mattresses in front of your door and the cops come kick it in. I know I've talked about it before, but it makes me laugh every time.
1:15:30 Speaker 03 Barricading?
1:15:31 Matt McCusker? Barricaders are so funny.
1:15:32 Speaker 03 It's a sick move.
1:15:33 Matt McCusker? It's just like a mental, it's like some form of mental break where you're like, I, I don't want anyone to get in here ever again, but you don't have like enough stuff and the cops.
1:15:39 Speaker 03 Door ends up opening out. You go, ah shit.
1:15:42 Matt McCusker? Fuck.
1:15:43 Speaker 03 They got right through my fucking barricade.
1:15:45 Matt McCusker? It's just one piss soaked mattress. You're like, oh.
1:15:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, door opens out, you get tased. It fucking sucks.
1:15:54 Matt McCusker? I always forget though, watching cops and seeing dudes get chased down, man, it's like the gear those cops have on them, it's crazy that you get caught. I don't know if I'm just cocky from hitting the track, but it's like.
1:16:06 Speaker 03 I'd get hawked down by anybody.
1:16:09 Matt McCusker? They're not, a lot of them aren't running like that, though.
1:16:11 Speaker 03 Doesn't matter, I'm getting hawked.
1:16:12 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I mean, for sure.
1:16:14 Speaker 03 I'm gonna shed some tackles, though. Pad level.
1:16:17 Matt McCusker? Yeah, you're gonna get some dirty yards.
1:16:19 Speaker 03 I'm not using the... They knew I had fucking top speed, they didn't know I could also beat you in the shuttle.
1:16:24 Matt McCusker? You would get dirty yards for sure.
1:16:26 Speaker 03 I'd get a lot of dirty yards.
1:16:28 Matt McCusker? Bounce recovery.
1:16:28 Speaker 03 That backside coming, come on, man. You get arm tackled from backside DN, you can't run on my team.
1:16:34 Matt McCusker? True.
1:16:35 Speaker 03 That's what I'm saying.
1:16:36 Matt McCusker? Dude, I still wanna do a community day where you do a thing where like you can have cops try to catch you. They have all their gear on and you just go to like a big football field and like maybe some like obstacles and you run an obstacle course with cops trying to like use their radios to catch you. That would be so fun.
1:16:50 Speaker 03 I think you can arrange that.
1:16:51 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that'd be sick.
1:16:52 Speaker 03 Don't bring those fucking honk ass firefighters.
1:16:54 Matt McCusker? Nah, I'm keeping them at home.
1:16:55 Speaker 03 Bring them and you can fucking...
1:16:57 Matt McCusker? Have them block for me?
1:16:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, or you can sneak one, you can join the cops. You know, we're tasing firefighters, firefighters are gonna try to escape. You should put up a battle, you should get a battle going, cops versus firefighters.
1:17:07 Matt McCusker? That would be nice.
1:17:08 Speaker 03 Firefighters get hoses, cops get tasers.
1:17:11 Matt McCusker? I think cops or firefighters, flag football game would be nice. I can be steady cue.
1:17:16 Speaker 03 Tackle.
1:17:17 Matt McCusker? Yeah, tackle foot would be nice. They all have good insurance, so if they like get hurt, who cares? It'd be fine. Yeah, I might, I don't know.
1:17:26 Speaker 03 Speaking of ball, though, I gotta, I gotta address the, yes, I wore Texas gear in a commercial, dude. So what?
1:17:33 Matt McCusker? What, are people coming down on you for that?
1:17:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, Christoph Waltz is not actually a Nazi. Sometimes actors take on roles, dude. What the fuck?
1:17:41 Matt McCusker? Wait, what's, you have to fill me in, I don't know.
1:17:43 Speaker 03 A Bud Light commercial just came out and I'm, it's, we're supposed to be Texas fans.
1:17:46 Matt McCusker? Yeah, so what, where's the Nazi?
1:17:48 Speaker 03 People call me a traitor for not wearing, well, like I'm saying, I'm actually a Notre Dame fan.
1:17:52 Matt McCusker? Yeah, for sure.
1:17:53 Speaker 03 But, you know, I'm an actor, dude, it's a Bud Light commercial.
1:17:56 Matt McCusker? Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
1:17:57 Speaker 03 I'm acting, I'm a thespian, dude.
1:17:59 Matt McCusker? Yeah, you're playing the role. You oughta get deep into the character.
1:18:02 Speaker 03 I had to pretend.
1:18:05 Speaker 03 I actually said that, cause when we were filming Madden, I'm obviously a Raiders, I support the Raiders and they were like, you have to do interviews and stuff there and they're like, how do you feel? How do you think the Eagles fans are gonna? Feel about this. I was like, I don't know. Guys play Nazis in movies. What the fuck?
1:18:20 Matt McCusker? Matt Damon like sucked a guy's dick in a movie.
1:18:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, he didn't actually suck a wolf.
1:18:24 Matt McCusker? I mean, he didn't do it. He straddled a guy.
1:18:27 Speaker 03 That's worse.
1:18:28 Matt McCusker? Oh, that's true.
1:18:35 Speaker 03 You know about straddling?
1:18:36 Matt McCusker? Nate was a stunt double.
1:18:39 Speaker 03 Nate was Matt Damon's stunt double.
1:18:40 Matt McCusker? I gave him a gay stunt double. He might have had a gay stunt double. He could have had a gay stunt double.
1:18:45 Speaker 00 What do you mean? I had a gay stunt double?
1:18:47 Matt McCusker? No, you do your own stunts.
1:18:49 Speaker 03 You Jackie Chan, bro. You Jackie Chan when it comes to the stunts.
1:18:55 Matt McCusker? Yeah, but Matt Damon rocked that role, I will say.
1:18:58 Speaker 03 Candelabra. I never saw it.
1:19:00 Matt McCusker? Behind the Candelabra.
1:19:01 Speaker 03 I heard it was good.
1:19:01 Matt McCusker? It's so good. He's so gay in it, bro. It's like, it's genuinely impressive.
1:19:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:19:06 Matt McCusker? Like.
1:19:06 Speaker 03 The gayest one I watched was the one you told me to watch, The Liverace.
1:19:10 Matt McCusker? That was fantastic.
1:19:10 Speaker 03 It was a great show.
1:19:11 Matt McCusker? He crushed it.
1:19:12 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:19:12 Matt McCusker? Who was the, what's, who was that? That's a.
1:19:13 Speaker 03 Played.
1:19:16 Matt McCusker? That guy.
1:19:16 Speaker 03 Cunanan, Andrew Cunanan.
1:19:17 Matt McCusker? Yes. Who played him though? That guy has like a major. He's a phenomenal actor. Yeah, the Andrew Cunanan still.
1:19:23 Speaker 03 Did you watch the Menendez Brothers one?
1:19:27 Matt McCusker? No.
1:19:27 Speaker 03 It's the same show. Like they did OJ.
1:19:30 Matt McCusker? Who played, who played him?
1:19:32 Speaker 03 I don't know, but they, they was great. Watched it. You're gonna really like it.
1:19:36 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:19:36 Speaker 03 It's right up your alley, dude.
1:19:37 Matt McCusker? I do, I.
1:19:38 Speaker 03 And you gotta watch Eddington.
1:19:39 Matt McCusker? What's Eddington?
1:19:40 Speaker 03 It's a new movie that came out. It's again, perfect for you.
1:19:43 Matt McCusker? Really?
1:19:43 Speaker 03 It sounds like one of something you would write.
1:19:45 Matt McCusker? Yes. Oh, you, I think I know what you're talking about. You're talking about this. Yeah, I gotta, uh, I gotta get to it, man. I've been.
1:19:50 Speaker 03 The ending is like you wrote it.
1:19:52 Matt McCusker? Really?
1:19:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:19:53 Matt McCusker? That's fucking pumping me up.
1:19:55 Speaker 03 For real. I was thinking it while I was watching. I was like, this is exactly Ari Aster.
1:19:58 Matt McCusker? Don't care.
1:19:59 Speaker 03 Beast. True. Fuck directors. No, he's a beast. He wrote, uh, he wrote Hereditary, dude. Hail Payman.
1:20:06 Matt McCusker? Did he really?
1:20:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:20:08 Matt McCusker? What?
1:20:10 Speaker 03 Payman?
1:20:13 Speaker 03 No.
1:20:14 Speaker 04 Ari Aster has the craziest student film. It's called What's Up With The Johnsons? Uh, I don't know. I don't wanna, I don't wanna.
1:20:20 Matt McCusker? How much does it cost to just like film a short? Like a 25 minute movie?
1:20:25 Speaker 03 Probably not that much.
1:20:26 Matt McCusker? Yeah, right? Yeah. I've been thinking about trying to write an director short. Dude, probably forty Gs. Really?
1:20:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, if you, yeah.
1:20:37 Matt McCusker? Nothing crazy, it would just be, yeah, just some talking, some... Hmm, interesting.
1:20:43 Speaker 03 Watch Eddington, watch the end of Eddington.
1:20:45 Matt McCusker? I'll check it out, I'll check it out.
1:20:45 Speaker 03 Do me a kindness, try to peep it tonight.
1:20:48 Matt McCusker? I will, uh, no, I'm not.
1:20:49 Speaker 03 Stay up late, dude.
1:20:50 Matt McCusker? There's no, I'm gonna be, I gotta go to the motherfucking ship.
1:20:52 Speaker 03 Oh, fuck.
1:20:53 Matt McCusker? Late as hell.
1:20:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:20:54 Matt McCusker? But I do have a flight, I have a flight coming up. So I'll download it on my phones.
1:20:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:20:58 Matt McCusker? And I'll watch it on my phones.
1:20:59 Speaker 03 You're gonna like it.
1:21:00 Matt McCusker? I think if it's the movie you described to me, I think I would.
1:21:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's Joaquin Phoenix.
1:21:04 Matt McCusker? Oh, I love him, dude. He's the best.
1:21:06 Speaker 03 One of the goats.
1:21:07 Matt McCusker? He's the best. I'll watch Eddington on the flight, you have my word.
1:21:10 Speaker 03 Yeah. Alright. Good stuff.
1:21:13 Matt McCusker? Bye.
1:21:14 Speaker 03 Nate's not zesty.
1:21:15 Matt McCusker? Not at all.
1:21:15 Speaker 03 He is not.
Previous Ep 572 - Gabriel (feat. Gabe Davis) Next Ep 574 - War of the Butt Wipes (feat. James McCann) Page updated November 1, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated