Pod Insights Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast Ep 531 - Bluesky (feat. Billy) About this episode Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod
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Transcript 17,670 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 Wild Wild West.
0:01 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I don't wanna lose again.
0:04 Speaker 02 Oh.
0:05 Matt McCusker? Just give me the word, Sean.
0:08 Speaker 02 Oh.
0:10 Speaker 03 That sounds like the chanting in.
0:12 Matt McCusker? Sorry, I fucked up the clap. My bad. I shouldn't. You're good?
0:14 Speaker 03 We'll be able to identify.
0:15 Speaker 02 Oh.
0:16 Speaker 03 In the, in the editing room.
0:18 Matt McCusker? We should do a non-verbal episode where we all just go, huh.
0:22 Speaker 02 Primal?
0:23 Matt McCusker? Ah, totally primal. That's a better way to put it.
0:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
0:25 Matt McCusker? Huh. Primal screams.
0:28 Speaker 02 Probably what's been happening here the last few months.
0:31 Speaker 03 That's a black cave, man.
0:32 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
0:45 Speaker 03 Please speak on it so they don't think I'm just being a white racist.
0:47 Matt McCusker? I thought it was hilarious. I.
0:48 Speaker 03 Thank you very much.
0:49 Matt McCusker? Bro, no, you can't talk about it. White comedians.
0:52 Speaker 02 Never speak on white comedians.
0:55 Matt McCusker? That's law, bro. Y'all are done. That's law. Kendrick Lamar is joining The View as their sixth host. He looks like Whoopi's fucking daughter.
1:05 Speaker 03 I was literally, I was like, oh, we'll save it for the pod. I was like, Lamer's political views line perfectly with The View. He's like, Israel needs to defend itself. Also, we need Kamala.
1:18 Matt McCusker? How, I mean, dude, could we get him on? Could we get him on The View? What would it take?
1:21 Speaker 03 To get Lamer?
1:22 Matt McCusker? On The View?
1:22 Speaker 03 We could just knock out Whoopi.
1:26 Speaker 03 Fucking have Lamer.
1:26 Speaker 02 Shave Lamer's face.
1:27 Speaker 03 Take the chair.
1:29 Speaker 02 Shave the side of Lamer's hair in his face and he might be on there.
1:33 Matt McCusker? Fuck. That's law. What the fuck are you guys talking about?
1:38 Speaker 03 Secret.
1:39 Matt McCusker? You know, studio perk stuff. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's got it, dude. I, I don't know why. When did he become like the ruler of everybody?
1:47 Speaker 03 He sucks, dude.
1:48 Matt McCusker? Kendrick Lamar. We have a black president. It's Jay-Z. Kendrick Lamar, he's a stand down, dude.
1:52 Speaker 02 Nah, Jay-Z started sacrif- he said.
1:55 Matt McCusker? He'll sue you.
1:56 Speaker 03 He will sue you.
1:57 Matt McCusker? He came at Pierce Morgan's ass about that.
1:59 Speaker 02 Bro.
2:00 Matt McCusker? Huh?
2:00 Speaker 02 Fuck him and the Beehive.
2:02 Matt McCusker? What?
2:03 Speaker 02 I don't fuck with them. Once they opened up for the DNC, shout out Lamer, I was like, dude, these people are scumbags.
2:08 Speaker 03 Lamer wanted a mama love. Lamer cried with mama love.
2:13 Speaker 02 Before, before I get out of here.
2:15 Speaker 03 The tweet I heard around the world.
2:17 Speaker 02 Before, before I get out of here.
2:20 Speaker 03 One of the all-time lamest tweets.
2:23 Speaker 02 Sounds bad, dude.
2:25 Speaker 04 Wasn't that bad, dude.
2:25 Speaker 02 You had a tweet right before, before I get out of here, then you had another tweet after that, before, before I get out of here.
2:33 Speaker 04 I'm still tweeting though.
2:35 Speaker 03 What was the full tweet?
2:36 Speaker 04 Huh?
2:36 Speaker 03 Do you remember what the tweet was?
2:37 Speaker 04 Before I get out of here.
2:39 Speaker 03 Well, it was before, before I get out of here.
2:40 Speaker 04 No, uh, was it about, oh, no.
2:43 Speaker 03 No, it was about China won because Trump won.
2:46 Speaker 02 Cause Trump won.
2:48 Matt McCusker? Where did you get such an idea from?
2:50 Speaker 04 You know.
2:50 Speaker 03 Swatch is wrestling in the view.
2:54 Speaker 03 Dude, I didn't know wrestling fans were all liberal.
2:56 Matt McCusker? Oh, yeah.
2:56 Speaker 03 I didn't know that either. I thought for sure they'd be the boys.
2:59 Matt McCusker? I think.
3:01 Speaker 02 Are wrestling fans?
3:02 Speaker 04 There's no in-between.
3:02 Speaker 03 Every time someone trashes me on Twitter, I, I click it and it's like, yeah, it's cartoon wrestling.
3:08 Matt McCusker? What?
3:09 Speaker 03 Every time.
3:11 Speaker 02 There's, there, it's, they're very, uh, binary. It's either right or far left.
3:16 Speaker 03 Nazi guy with Down syndrome.
3:17 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:20 Matt McCusker? I could see me going like a, like a staunch feminist, being a wrestling fan, but guys, for real, these women are strong as hell.
3:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, China?
3:25 Matt McCusker? Yeah, all of them.
3:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, all the divas.
3:28 Matt McCusker? Like women are jacked and have big, huge butts. They can do whatever they want.
3:30 Speaker 02 They just do exactly what their parents do.
3:33 Speaker 03 What do you mean?
3:34 Speaker 02 The bros. It's like, if you have level parents, you're just a drag queen, Down syndrome kid, or it's like.
3:39 Speaker 03 Holy shit. Oh, you're talking about people with Down syndrome?
3:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
3:41 Speaker 03 That's, nah, they, those guys are making some choices. They have a lot of choices. They, they're stubborn as fuck. They make any choice and it's over. That's their choice.
3:54 Speaker 02 Same here.
3:55 Matt McCusker? I'd love to see him form like a real political block. It would be great.
3:58 Speaker 02 Where like politicians would have to like start pandering.
4:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, we're gonna have wrestling again.
4:07 Speaker 03 We are, it's a government mandate. There will be 10 new Shreks by the year 2035.
4:14 Speaker 03 There will be 20 new Shreks. That'd be nice. They'd win.
4:19 Matt McCusker? They'd get mobilized.
4:22 Speaker 03 Lamezy.
4:24 Matt McCusker? So what happened, man?
4:25 Speaker 02 House a little stinky when we walked in.
4:28 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
4:29 Speaker 02 I remember that smell.
4:30 Speaker 03 I haven't been here. The last time I was here was when I did a trompon Kill Tony. It's sitting on the, in the bathroom. I literally just took my clothes off and left.
4:40 Matt McCusker? Your clothes are sitting there?
4:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, they're just still sitting there.
4:42 Matt McCusker? Like when a homeless person sheds their garb?
4:45 Speaker 03 It's literally like two bags of chips and a bottle of water on the ground.
4:49 Matt McCusker? It looks like you got evicted.
4:50 Speaker 03 Yeah. But we can't, I haven't been here since. Came back in, house smells entirely like shit.
4:56 Matt McCusker? You think so?
4:57 Speaker 03 It did. It's getting better now.
4:58 Speaker 02 I had a roommate that smelled just like this. Blunt guts and throw up. That's what it is.
5:02 Matt McCusker? You saw blunt guts?
5:03 Speaker 02 I just smell it.
5:04 Speaker 03 The whole back room. He's been sitting back there smoking blunts, jacking off.
5:07 Matt McCusker? Come on, Leon. It sounds kinda nice.
5:09 Speaker 02 I wasn't jacking off in there.
5:12 Speaker 03 You didn't catch one?
5:13 Matt McCusker? You only beat off in that room, that's it.
5:15 Speaker 03 There's no way you got horny in there and walked across to your room to jack off. I know you stayed in there at least once.
5:21 Speaker 02 At least once. I had to reclaim my room.
5:24 Matt McCusker? But every other time you did a boner shuffle, straight to the pool house.
5:27 Speaker 02 I had to do the bone shuffle.
5:31 Matt McCusker? Damn, so you caught one in there? That's one thing I'm proud of. My laptop, I've never caught one off my laptop.
5:35 Speaker 03 Really?
5:36 Matt McCusker? It makes you feel good, yeah.
5:37 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's untainted.
5:38 Matt McCusker? Clean, yeah, it's a clean machine. It's got no, I haven't smutted my laptop out. It's just a workhorse.
5:44 Speaker 02 Sometimes it calls for me.
5:46 Matt McCusker? And then this little fucking bitch.
5:49 Speaker 02 That's your roast toy.
5:51 Speaker 03 Takes the brunt.
5:54 Matt McCusker? This poor thing.
5:55 Speaker 02 It is our toy.
5:58 Matt McCusker? Bro, that's the worst. That's the worst.
6:00 Speaker 02 That was on True Life, I'm addicted to porn.
6:02 Matt McCusker? I thought, yo, you think they'll stop you, but you're just like, yeah, I love them. Anyway.
6:10 Matt McCusker? One day they'll understand their father was a complicated man, right past him. Yeah, it's no stop.
6:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'll decline mom phone call, jacking off, you go decline.
6:20 Matt McCusker? Yeah, did you ever, did you ever stop, did you ever actually stop while doing it? Take the call and the whole time you're like, please just let me back.
6:28 Speaker 03 I'd love to tell you I never did that.
6:31 Speaker 03 Yes, I've taken some phone calls mid beat and then gone right back. You gotta work it back up again.
6:36 Matt McCusker? I know.
6:36 Speaker 03 It's actually kinda nice, you get a second beat.
6:38 Speaker 02 Cox would hit me with that all the time. He would call me at like 3:30, I'm like, I can't talk right now, you're jerking off, like, no I'm not.
6:44 Matt McCusker? Who would hit you with that?
6:45 Speaker 02 Cox.
6:46 Matt McCusker? Really?
6:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:48 Matt McCusker? True, 3:30 is like, prime time after work, yeah. If you're working a 7 to 3 like a man.
6:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:55 Matt McCusker? If you're on a girl's schedule, 9 to 5.
7:00 Matt McCusker? Just kidding, love you guys, I love all you guys.
7:01 Speaker 03 Sorry man, we didn't mean to be sexist like that.
7:07 Matt McCusker? So you, did you get attacked online for your views?
7:09 Speaker 02 Trump won.
7:09 Speaker 03 He cried.
7:10 Speaker 04 I didn't cry.
7:11 Matt McCusker? Yeah, you did.
7:14 Speaker 03 You saw him cry?
7:19 Matt McCusker? Damn, bro.
7:21 Speaker 04 I did not cry. I did make hot dogs.
7:25 Matt McCusker? You made some sad hot dogs?
7:27 Speaker 04 It was post-knock this hot dogs.
7:30 Matt McCusker? Did you boil them or how'd you cook them?
7:31 Speaker 04 Of course.
7:32 Matt McCusker? Oh.
7:33 Speaker 04 You gotta boil the dog, dude.
7:34 Speaker 03 Damn, bro.
7:35 Matt McCusker? Just boil your misery.
7:36 Speaker 03 If Kamala would've won, you would've, you would've hit the grill.
7:38 Speaker 04 Oh yeah.
7:40 Speaker 03 You would've got the Bluetooth speaker going.
7:42 Matt McCusker? Pig's feet. That's footlongs, dude. That's grilled footlong, some kielbasas. Kielbasas for a kabobala.
7:49 Speaker 03 Kielbasa, here it is.
7:52 Matt McCusker? Where is she? Is she still like hell bent on saving the country or is she like disappeared?
7:55 Speaker 02 She's $20 million in debt after they raised a billion dollars. She probably would've been a great president though.
8:00 Matt McCusker? Is she not fighting the fight still? I thought that's all she wanted to do.
8:02 Speaker 02 What?
8:02 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I thought she'd be fighting the fight still.
8:04 Speaker 03 No, they're not done. The message of joy continues.
8:06 Matt McCusker? Well, at least they got those missiles to Ukraine, that was important.
8:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, that was huge. Good thing Shapiro signed him too, that was real huge that Shapiro did that.
8:13 Matt McCusker? Yeah, work on loving humanity domestically after we ship those long range missiles to Ukraine and blast Russians. That was a wild move, by the way.
8:21 Speaker 03 It was, it really bothered me.
8:22 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that was just like, what? What a fucking spaz.
8:25 Speaker 02 Stop, stop.
8:26 Matt McCusker? What a spaz. It'd be like, okay, well, fuck that. I don't care about money at all.
8:29 Speaker 03 Oh, Trump's gonna end the war? Fuck you guys.
8:31 Matt McCusker? I know.
8:32 Speaker 03 We're gonna fire everything we have.
8:33 Matt McCusker? It did feel like, kind of like, oh yeah, you think he's a great peacemaker? Watch this. And it's like, you guys are nasty.
8:37 Speaker 02 They did it with the jab, bro.
8:39 Matt McCusker? Although, dude, nothing worse than a scorned woman, dude.
8:44 Speaker 03 Got that right.
8:44 Matt McCusker? Fuck, yeah, hell hath no fury, dude.
8:46 Speaker 03 She might be in there, dude. They might get rid of Biden for that.
8:51 Speaker 02 Joe Byron.
8:52 Speaker 03 Joe Byron.
8:52 Matt McCusker? She'll get to taste the, that'd be cool if she had to taste the president.
8:55 Speaker 03 She got to do it for a few days.
8:56 Matt McCusker? She had to taste the press?
8:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:57 Matt McCusker? She had the White House tour?
8:58 Speaker 02 They said that dude Biden hates that bitch.
9:01 Speaker 03 One week, shit was just great.
9:03 Speaker 02 Did you see that? Fucking Joe Biden voted in an all red suit and Trump said, yo, he hates you, Kamala. And it's true. Fucking Joe Biden wouldn't shake her hand.
9:14 Matt McCusker? Hold on, hold on. Joe Biden wore the red? She flew the flag?
9:17 Speaker 02 She rocked all red to go vote.
9:18 Matt McCusker? Doctor Jill?
9:19 Speaker 03 Yes, the doctor. Now she's officially got a doctor.
9:22 Matt McCusker? Was she Dr. Seuss? Why was she wearing all red? Why was she wearing it all red?
9:26 Speaker 02 I don't thi- like, I don't think Byron's gonna step down.
9:29 Speaker 03 Joe Byron?
9:30 Speaker 02 Byron's not gonna let them hit 25th Amendment. Although, time traveler Trump, at the end of his thing, said, be careful what you wish for, they might hit you with that.
9:37 Matt McCusker? Byron's gonna stand down. Dude, there's no, he's definitely standing down.
9:41 Speaker 02 No way, bro.
9:42 Speaker 03 Time traveler Trump said, be careful what you wish for, he said that in El Paso.
9:46 Speaker 02 You ever see like, uh, it's a book, it's a book about, it was a book written in like the 1980s? Yeah, The Adventures of Baron Trump or whatever?
9:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:53 Speaker 02 He has a fucking, he's a time traveler.
9:56 Speaker 03 I know, but what did he say in El Paso?
9:58 Speaker 02 Oh, be careful what you wish for, because they were trying to hit Trump with the 25th Amendment, and now Byron might be get hit with it. That was like four years ago.
10:04 Speaker 03 Joe Byron?
10:06 Speaker 02 When they...
10:07 Matt McCusker? I, I always forget he's the president.
10:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:09 Matt McCusker? I always, I think, the last like, two months, or I guess now, it's been like, a couple of weeks, I've been like, okay, so Trump's the president? I'm like, oh yeah, because like, whenever someone's like, president-elect, I'm like, oh yeah.
10:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:18 Matt McCusker? I gotta remember stuff like that, like, the president-elect, you mean?
10:20 Speaker 02 It's gonna be sick.
10:20 Matt McCusker? Not yet the president.
10:21 Speaker 02 Blue and On's going crazy right now.
10:23 Speaker 03 Oh, Bluesky.
10:25 Matt McCusker? What's up, Blue and On?
10:25 Speaker 02 Blue and On, it's there, I feel for them, because I was there, and they're like, oh no, you don't understand, in two weeks, it's all gonna come out. It's like, it's always two weeks, and nothing ever happens. They're, have you seen Blue Sky?
10:37 Matt McCusker? No.
10:37 Speaker 03 Bluesky.
10:38 Speaker 02 It's, it's not, it's different than the other place.
10:41 Speaker 03 It's Bluesky.
10:41 Speaker 02 The other place that we don't talk about.
10:44 Speaker 03 I thought it was Bluesky the first thirty times I saw it. I was like, what the fuck is Bluesky?
10:49 Speaker 02 X is the other place.
10:50 Matt McCusker? Oh, Blue Sky is live Twitter.
10:52 Speaker 02 Blue Sky is live Twitter.
10:53 Speaker 03 It is Blue Sky. Can we stop?
10:54 Matt McCusker? Blue Sky, I'm sorry.
10:55 Speaker 03 It's obviously Blue Sky.
10:56 Matt McCusker? Blue Sky.
10:57 Speaker 02 It's crazy.
10:57 Matt McCusker? Starting on Twitter is so funny.
11:00 Speaker 03 I actually know it was a genuine mistake.
11:02 Speaker 02 That's good boomer juice though.
11:03 Speaker 03 I was fully like, the hell's Blue Sky?
11:07 Matt McCusker? That's gotta be so fun to go over there though.
11:09 Speaker 02 Dude, they're deranged. It's crazy. It's like seeing the opposite of me.
11:14 Matt McCusker? Why are they starting Blue Sky, dude? Trump's?
11:16 Speaker 02 They don't want to go on the other place, dude. There's nothing.
11:18 Speaker 03 They're not allowed to go on there, yeah. And we're gonna call it Twitter. We're not calling it X.
11:23 Matt McCusker? Everybody calls it Twitter still.
11:24 Speaker 03 I know. It's the lame. That's, so that's the fucking pronoun joke for the left?
11:29 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
11:29 Speaker 03 You know how pronoun, they're like, my pronouns are, uh, I love pussy. There's like Twitter or X or whatever it's even called these days.
11:37 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
11:38 Speaker 03 That's what they say every single time.
11:39 Matt McCusker? That's funny.
11:39 Speaker 03 And then America goes.
11:43 Speaker 02 All the fucking, they're called skeets too, bro. They're called skeets instead of tweets.
11:50 Matt McCusker? At the skies, they're called skeets?
11:51 Speaker 03 At Blue Sky, it's called skeets.
11:53 Speaker 02 Cums.
11:53 Matt McCusker? You're skeet, you're skeet?
11:55 Speaker 03 They say, we gotta put out a new cum.
11:57 Matt McCusker? Yeah, they might get me over there. I'd love to skeet all day.
11:59 Speaker 02 Either skeet or reskeet.
12:01 Matt McCusker? A reskeet?
12:02 Speaker 02 I swear to God.
12:04 Speaker 03 If skeet don't get you, reskeet will.
12:05 Speaker 02 It's all like hinge jokes and then like horrible fucking stuff like before, before I get out of here, China won.
12:13 Matt McCusker? It's like true socialists. It's just probably just completely deranged.
12:16 Speaker 03 What do they call like over there?
12:18 Speaker 02 I don't know. I think it's a like.
12:19 Matt McCusker? A yes. It's a yes. It's a yes.
12:21 Speaker 03 They gobble it up. It's a yes.
12:22 Matt McCusker? Yeah, you get yesed.
12:23 Speaker 03 You yes people's jizz.
12:27 Speaker 03 Nice jizz. I never thought of it that way.
12:29 Speaker 02 They all, they hate, uh, that chick Nancy Mace on there though. Did you see that chick?
12:34 Speaker 03 Nancy Mace?
12:34 Speaker 02 I love her, dude.
12:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:35 Speaker 02 She just reminds me of my mom.
12:37 Matt McCusker? What was Nancy Mace doing? She's pissed about it.
12:39 Speaker 02 She's pissed because there's a fucking tranny in Congress. It's huge. It looks like if Shane had a wig on, bro. And they're like, dude, fuck that. She can't go in the bathroom. Why not?
12:50 Speaker 03 What?
12:51 Speaker 02 It's crazy, but they all want to kill Nancy Mace because she's like, dude, I don't want fucking dudes in our bathrooms. And they're, it's really, um.
12:58 Speaker 03 The video, the videos they make, like I saw a video of her rip, because they put up a bunch of like trans flags over the bathroom sign and she like had somebody film her ripping them down and be like, this is not. It's literally, they're all like teachers making TikToks. That's what Congress has become. It's like, follow me on my day as a congresswoman. This is what I wear. And then I signed a bill.
13:18 Speaker 02 I make no sense.
13:19 Matt McCusker? And then I had to have the Mocha Latte.
13:20 Speaker 03 We are at war.
13:22 Matt McCusker? That's.
13:22 Speaker 03 It's fun.
13:23 Matt McCusker? That's terrible.
13:23 Speaker 03 We haven't addressed the homeless situation.
13:24 Matt McCusker? So she was like, watch this and just rip down the flag. Damn.
13:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, their days are numbered, bro.
13:31 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I mean, that's.
13:32 Speaker 02 Chicks are about to start rising up against the trans.
13:34 Matt McCusker? That's also.
13:35 Speaker 02 It's gonna be one of the great battles, like the Titans versus the gods, bro.
13:38 Speaker 03 If the women's rise, if the women's rise up against the trans, I'm signing with the trans.
13:42 Speaker 02 Are you serious?
13:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, that'd be hilarious, dude.
13:44 Speaker 02 That would be very funny.
13:45 Speaker 03 See a bunch of dudes beat the shit out of women.
13:47 Matt McCusker? Yeah, but it's gonna be a lot of covert psychic warfare. You know, it's gonna be a lot of relational.
13:53 Speaker 03 I'm with the tease.
13:54 Matt McCusker? Kind of walk in and be like, nice shoes.
13:59 Speaker 02 Imagine just barging into a chick's bathroom, especially a locker room.
14:02 Speaker 03 The thing about this, it probably doesn't work on them. They probably try to hit the tease with like, what would hurt a woman?
14:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:08 Speaker 03 Your shoes look shitty.
14:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:10 Speaker 03 It's just a guy going like, I don't give a fuck, I'm sneaking into the bathroom.
14:15 Speaker 02 I got these for 12 bucks down at the Ross.
14:19 Speaker 02 Comfortable as hell.
14:19 Speaker 03 Wearing cell phone clips on their belts. What?
14:25 Speaker 02 Shirt tucked into huge tits.
14:29 Matt McCusker? You think it was just a giant dump?
14:31 Speaker 03 Pull up, pull up.
14:32 Matt McCusker? You think there was the moment when like, she was at the, the congressman was sitting there and it was just like a full like, oh, it's a giant dump. That's it.
14:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:40 Matt McCusker? This is my one place of peace.
14:44 Speaker 02 Taking like a 6'3" dude airport dump.
14:48 Speaker 03 Just a JFK.
14:49 Matt McCusker? I'd get political. Political, I'd be like, alright, this is enough.
14:52 Speaker 02 That is exposing them too, because they hate shitting around dudes.
14:56 Matt McCusker? Oh, yeah.
14:56 Speaker 02 That might be fucking the number one problem.
14:59 Matt McCusker? Yeah, well, they only, they wanna say, that's an intimate thing they wanna say for their husband or boyfriend.
15:03 Speaker 03 Well, man, how do you feel about all this bigotry?
15:07 Speaker 03 Cause I, me, I, you know what, I'm starting to join the view here, I'm a little uncomfortable by it. What the McCusker brothers have done, and I have nothing to do with it.
15:16 Matt McCusker? Join the view.
15:17 Speaker 03 I might pull up a chair.
15:19 Matt McCusker? It's, the, the show has to go on forever, I hope it never stops.
15:22 Speaker 03 It's getting better.
15:23 Matt McCusker? Is it really?
15:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, why turn it on, it's fucking hilarious.
15:25 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I, I only see the clips and it's damn.
15:27 Speaker 03 They're, they're spazzing all day.
15:30 Speaker 02 Watching dresses like she's from like the Galactic Federation. It's fucking crazy.
15:37 Matt McCusker? I like Whoopi on there, Whoopi's the voice, Whoopi's the voice of reason on The View.
15:42 Speaker 03 I saw your watering ass eyes, you fucking liberal.
15:44 Speaker 04 Whoa dude.
15:46 Speaker 02 That's some respect.
15:48 Speaker 03 Come on, man.
15:49 Matt McCusker? Me and Billy were talking the other day.
15:50 Speaker 03 We have a little respect.
15:51 Matt McCusker? Me and Billy have came to the agreement that um, if you're an atheist, you're a pervert. Just by default. It's just fucking, it's just masochism. You're just taking a belief system like, oh yeah, I'm so fucking alone in this universe.
16:05 Matt McCusker? It's a perverted stuff.
16:06 Speaker 02 It's a cop out.
16:07 Matt McCusker? It is a total cop out. It's fake big boy.
16:09 Speaker 02 I don't have a boss that, yes, you do, brother.
16:10 Matt McCusker? Yes, you do, brother.
16:11 Speaker 02 G O D.
16:12 Speaker 03 Yep.
16:13 Speaker 02 His name is Jesus Christ.
16:15 Matt McCusker? For Blueski dude, you go on Blueski.
16:16 Speaker 03 You go on Blueski, you're gonna be like, God's not even real and my fucking dad won't fucking talk to me.
16:25 Matt McCusker? I told my dad to take down his Trump sign, I got kicked out of Thanksgiving.
16:28 Speaker 02 I can't wait for Thanksgiving, brother.
16:30 Matt McCusker? My parents were like, kind of like, they were, they were like, they're asking me, did you put up a Trump sign? I was like, no, I didn't put one up on my lawn. They're like, they kind of looked at me like, bitch. They're like, we had four. I'm like, alright dude.
16:41 Speaker 02 We had four.
16:42 Matt McCusker? I didn't want to do that.
16:42 Speaker 03 I did get to watch a guy collect his signs.
16:44 Matt McCusker? Oh.
16:45 Speaker 03 On the way to, I was on the way to tires and on my way to work and I got to watch a guy in the morning, morning after the election, picking up his Kamala Harris signs.
16:54 Matt McCusker? Their Kamala's?
16:55 Speaker 03 It was, it was really fun to watch.
16:57 Matt McCusker? I'm gonna put up a Kamala forever.
16:59 Speaker 03 It was so funny to watch it.
17:01 Matt McCusker? Just to defeat it.
17:02 Speaker 03 There's a guy picking up, and he was one of those guys that had like ninety in his front yard.
17:06 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
17:06 Speaker 03 He just had to go out there, eight AM.
17:09 Speaker 02 How many did you put up, Lamar? You put any up front?
17:12 Speaker 03 Did you have, yeah, you probably had a couple outside.
17:15 Speaker 02 This place was damned out. This is Blueski headquarters while you're gone.
17:18 Speaker 03 This might be, that might be Blueski headquarters back there. Are you the king of Blueski?
17:23 Speaker 04 They had a Colin, Colin Allred up there. Oh my God, it's awesome.
17:26 Speaker 03 What happened?
17:27 Speaker 04 Nothing, I'm sorry.
17:28 Speaker 03 Hold on, no. What did you say?
17:31 Speaker 04 There's another guy running named Colin Allred.
17:35 Matt McCusker? What was his deal?
17:36 Speaker 04 I don't know.
17:37 Speaker 03 Was he a local Dem?
17:38 Speaker 04 He was just a local Dem, yeah.
17:40 Speaker 03 What did you like about him, other than just that he was a Dem?
17:42 Speaker 04 I liked his name is all red.
17:44 Speaker 03 Alright, that's good enough.
17:46 Matt McCusker? Did I tell you, I got to vote this year for the first time.
17:48 Speaker 03 Nice, how'd it go?
17:49 Matt McCusker? It was kinda swell.
17:50 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, you told.
17:51 Matt McCusker? It was kinda fun, yeah, I went in there, it was, uh, dude, everyone sits in a voting place, very like, it's like you would think for real, they're like, all like rescuing babies. Everyone has like a face, like, they look at each other and go.
18:03 Speaker 03 Doing your civic duty.
18:04 Matt McCusker? They're not, I mean, I said, hold on, brother. To be fair, on the, you know, there's like the main thing, the big election, the big vote, and then you have like, do like a million tiny votes. And there I got, I just started just throwing them to whoever.
18:15 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:15 Matt McCusker? I was going, bing bang, bing bang, bing bang, bing bang.
18:17 Speaker 03 Bing bang.
18:18 Matt McCusker? Anyone in like the court, I'd be like, Democrat, just in case I fuck around, get in trouble for something.
18:24 Matt McCusker? I wanna get a little catch and release action.
18:25 Speaker 03 We need, uh.
18:26 Speaker 02 The big one go to.
18:27 Speaker 03 We also need to acknowledge.
18:28 Matt McCusker? Can't say, I won't say. I won't say.
18:30 Speaker 03 If we're gonna sit here and crush the libs, we have owned the libs for the first however many minutes of this podcast. We've been owning libs.
18:36 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
18:37 Speaker 03 It's time to focus on the right a little.
18:38 Matt McCusker? What are they up to?
18:39 Speaker 03 There's a lot of pedophiles.
18:40 Matt McCusker? What?
18:41 Speaker 03 They're all pedophiles.
18:42 Matt McCusker? Are they really?
18:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, every single one.
18:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:45 Matt McCusker? Dude.
18:46 Speaker 03 Cross the board.
18:47 Matt McCusker? Did you say this before? I'm trying to think if I heard this from you.
18:49 Speaker 02 Pedophiles, literally, it's not funny.
18:51 Matt McCusker? Have you talked about this before? I was like,
18:55 Matt McCusker? has anyone ever talked about how Michael Jackson became so successful, he became a white pedophile?
18:59 Speaker 02 He's not a pedophile, relax.
19:01 Matt McCusker? He's not a pedophile?
19:02 Speaker 02 He is not a pedophile.
19:02 Speaker 03 This is the true conspiracy theorist. You call everyone that is not a pedophile, a pedophile.
19:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:08 Speaker 03 The king of pop, dude.
19:11 Speaker 02 Bro, he is not.
19:13 Matt McCusker? Do you think he was like, saying it was a resort?
19:15 Speaker 02 Schmooly had something to do with it, Candace Owens came out and said that.
19:18 Matt McCusker? What?
19:19 Speaker 02 Yeah, he was not a pedophile. I don't, I, at least I don't think so.
19:22 Speaker 03 Hold up.
19:23 Speaker 02 There's all sorts of shit where like, the one dude, the first dude that accused him, the kid, the mom and dad like, liked him or whatever, but then the, the, their mom and stepdad liked MJ, and that kid would chill there, and then the fucking dad was like, well, you're at whose house? Fuck that, and fucking sued him and got the money and shit. And that just kept happening. That boy, that boy was fucked.
19:41 Matt McCusker? Hold on, the dad was like, you're at Michael Jackson's house? I'm suing him for?
19:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:44 Matt McCusker? Pedophile?
19:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, the dude's a scumbag.
19:47 Matt McCusker? So you're a pedophile.
19:48 Speaker 03 Dude, I swear to God, I think he got set up and then I think he got killed for his record shit. There's this whole thing where it's like.
19:55 Matt McCusker? Apparently he owned a bunch of stuff in vacation. I've heard that. I heard he owned stuff and yeah, what are they saying on the Blue Skies? They're saying, uh, I heard he owned like a piece of sandals. That's I've heard that before. They killed him for the.
20:06 Speaker 04 Sandals, the resorts?
20:07 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
20:08 Speaker 04 MJ owned the resorts?
20:09 Matt McCusker? I swear to God, I think he had like in one of those giant companies, he had a huge stake.
20:13 Speaker 05 I thought he, I thought he owned a little bit of the Beatles.
20:15 Speaker 03 He did.
20:16 Speaker 05 Yeah, I thought that's what they.
20:17 Speaker 03 One of the best bands of all time.
20:19 Matt McCusker? He owned the Beatles.
20:21 Speaker 05 I get it.
20:22 Speaker 03 Oh, not so tough now.
20:25 Speaker 05 What am I gonna, I just keep defending Drake. That's all it was about. It wasn't about none of that.
20:28 Speaker 03 Drake is number one, dude.
20:29 Speaker 05 Yeah, they're going, nah, I'm a pedophile.
20:30 Matt McCusker? I said it, I said it on the pod.
20:32 Speaker 03 No, you're not. No, you're not.
20:34 Matt McCusker? Drake's a visionary dude. He was, he was totally right. Kendrick is, I don't know why he's so anti comedy dude. He's, he's totally crossing.
20:40 Speaker 03 He's anti comedy dude. And there's one thing I hate is when comedians get censored.
20:44 Speaker 02 They are the canaries in the coal mine.
20:46 Speaker 03 The canaries in the coal mine.
20:48 Matt McCusker? Someone was telling me, I think Pedro was telling me I should keep, uh, tape on my mouth until I go out on stage and I go.
20:54 Speaker 02 Yeah, just write society on tape.
20:58 Speaker 03 Says all the nuts. I was holding that one in.
21:00 Matt McCusker? What?
21:01 Speaker 03 No, I'm just saying, just.
21:03 Matt McCusker? Oh.
21:04 Speaker 03 Something horrendous.
21:05 Matt McCusker? Something.
21:06 Speaker 02 Ajax used to post, Ajax was listening to a book for a while. He would post on Instagram of just, uh, do a duct tape over her mouth and just said society on the duct tape.
21:13 Speaker 03 Sick. Remember Tommy Sambazo's headshot?
21:16 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
21:16 Speaker 03 At Magoob's, he had the caution tape. It's a fucking microphone. It's a gun.
21:23 Speaker 03 Caution tape.
21:24 Matt McCusker? That's fucking sick.
21:25 Speaker 03 Dude. I think it was Simba. I didn't mean to name the man. He was the man.
21:30 Speaker 04 Mike, Michael Jackson got killed by Sony.
21:32 Matt McCusker? Yeah. Oh, so it was over the Beatles music?
21:34 Speaker 04 Yeah. Not the Beatles music, cause that went back to Paul McCartney, but he got killed by Sony because they're supposed to do a tour and they'd make more money off the insurance if they killed him.
21:41 Speaker 02 There's a whole thing in, uh, the music industry that also.
21:44 Speaker 03 Where he did a lot of drugs.
21:46 Speaker 02 Was at MJ's fucking. Hospital when he died.
21:50 Matt McCusker? P Diddy's bodyguard?
21:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, the nutty like Ray Donovan Muslim dude that P Diddy had was at Michael Jackson's hospital when he died. But there's a whole thing, there's a documentary about it where like, once they're done with you and your record sales start dying off, they own insurance on you and they get double paid for killing you and your shit skyrockets and they get all the money.
22:10 Matt McCusker? Damn.
22:11 Speaker 02 So they get a lot, they have an insurance policy on the artist and when they kill the artist, they get the insurance policy because he fucking dies. And then they're saying like, look at Prince's sales, go through the fucking roof, they take all of it.
22:21 Matt McCusker? Shit.
22:22 Speaker 02 Many, many cases.
22:24 Matt McCusker? Is that what the sacrifice is all about?
22:26 Speaker 02 Part of it. When you're evil, bro, wants to sacrifice you.
22:29 Matt McCusker? Quick announcement for Irvine, California, or really all of SoCal. You guys know I'm SoCal as hell. I've been SoCal. But yeah, I'll be at the Irvine Improv, 1129, that's this upcoming weekend. Well, I guess next weekend, whatever. 1129 and 1130. And I've also added a show on 1131 or 121. I'm not sure how many days are in November, but you get the point. Next Friday, next Saturday, next Sunday, I'll be in Irvine, California. And let me just say for the record, fuck LA, dude. It's all about Irvine. I'm sick of people from LA being like, oh, you're going to Irvine? I'd never go down. Fuck you, dude.
23:13 Matt McCusker? Shut up. Irvine's where all the reels are, not a bunch of pretenders out in LA. I'm gonna be a famous actor? No, you're fucking not. Grow up and move to Irvine. I'll see you there. God bless you all.
23:40 Speaker 06 Pardon the interruption. This may or may not be Sean Gardini speaking. And this may or may not be Sean Gardini on camera. Who is speaking and who is on camera is not important. I've come to tell you that Shawn Gardini is doing stand up comedy shows. The upcoming shows are in Cleveland, Ohio, December 8th. Buffalo, New York, December 10th. And Baltimore, Maryland, December 11th. Please come to those shows if you can. The tickets are at ShawnGardini.com. Thank you.
24:15 Speaker 02 And we're back. Hey.
24:20 Speaker 02 Okay, so MJ not a pedophile. I'm not afraid. Everybody.
24:26 Speaker 06 So you're saying MJ is not a pedi- you're you're ruling pedophile, not a pedophile?
24:30 Speaker 02 Uh, I don't think he's a pedophile.
24:31 Speaker 06 Okay, now do Donald Trump.
24:33 Speaker 02 Donald Trump, it's because I looked into all the fucking Republican, I'm blue and on now.
24:37 Speaker 06 Yes.
24:38 Speaker 02 I'm liberal, I watch V with La Mer.
24:41 Speaker 06 Simple, yes or no?
24:42 Speaker 02 It's hard to say because if he was a pedophile, they would have got him on it by now. That's the only thing that fucks me up.
24:47 Matt McCusker? What about, what do you think about the tape, what do you think about the tape they, uh, that came out like right at the end? Where it was like the audio of like him and Epstein?
24:54 Speaker 02 Epstein, it wasn't him and Epstein, it was Epstein, this dude Wolf.
24:56 Matt McCusker? So why were they trying to tie Trump to that?
24:58 Speaker 06 Simple yes or no?
24:58 Speaker 02 It's hard to say, that's what I'm saying, the jury's out, I'm not, he's not my savior.
25:02 Matt McCusker? It's the internet, dude, just say something sensational, we'll capitalize.
25:05 Speaker 06 Simple yes or no?
25:06 Speaker 02 At this point, I have to say no, because he would have, they would have got his ass.
25:09 Speaker 06 Matt Gaetz.
25:10 Speaker 02 Brother, yeah.
25:13 Speaker 02 I don't know, there's all sorts of fucking weird shit about that, he's fucking happy.
25:16 Matt McCusker? Didn't he resign?
25:17 Speaker 02 He likes to.
25:19 Matt McCusker? But he's not Trump's cabinet now, didn't he resign out of that?
25:22 Speaker 02 What?
25:23 Matt McCusker? I heard that if he had stayed.
25:24 Speaker 02 Delete that.
25:25 Matt McCusker? I heard that if he stayed in Congress, then they would have released like the findings of the ethics things. But since he like resigned, now they can't show people whatever they found.
25:35 Speaker 02 I don't know.
25:36 Matt McCusker? That's what I heard.
25:36 Speaker 02 Bro, I don't know, I just, at this point, everyone's on fucking notice. Dennis Hasser was a Republican, I think Speaker of the House forever. And he was also involved in wrestling, which is fucking weird, so was Jim Jordan, there was a pedophile there, but it doesn't matter. Fucking Dennis Hasser was the Speaker of the House forever, and he was on Epstein's island, he was friends with Podesta. He was like the OG pizza guy, where like Hasser was a fucking scumbag pedophile, and no one said a fucking word. So now everybody who's in that fucking thing, they're not my heroes, I fucking hate them, and they're all cool with pedophilia. Because they let that shit go on.
26:08 Speaker 06 Do you have any heroes?
26:09 Speaker 02 No, you, you're my hero.
26:11 Speaker 04 Billy.
26:12 Speaker 03 Bitch ass.
26:12 Speaker 04 Everyone's always been cool with pedophilia. It's always been cool.
26:16 Speaker 02 Not me.
26:17 Speaker 03 What?
26:18 Speaker 04 It's always been elite cool.
26:20 Speaker 02 Big pedophile. Bro.
26:21 Speaker 04 Yes, it has since the beginning of time.
26:22 Speaker 02 Subversion. It's a subversion, bro.
26:25 Matt McCusker? Historically speaking, La Mer is right. Like, if you go to, like, the Middle East, they do the dancing boys. It's, I'm not saying it's great. I'm glad we've, I'm glad we've all elevated up from that.
26:34 Speaker 02 Great men were not pedophiles. Alexander the Great was not a pedophile.
26:37 Matt McCusker? He definitely fucked a boy.
26:39 Speaker 02 Relax, bro.
26:39 Matt McCusker? He fucked.
26:40 Speaker 03 I think you actually might have named, like, notable pedophile.
26:44 Speaker 02 No, no, no, no.
26:45 Matt McCusker? He's Alexander the Greatest pedophile.
26:46 Speaker 02 That's all smear, bro.
26:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, they cut that off, yeah.
26:49 Speaker 02 It's all smear.
26:49 Speaker 03 It was, it could be a smear.
26:51 Speaker 02 They hit that with every fucking great man. Oh, he's a fucking pedophile. MJ, pedophile. It's a halls of memento, dude. Alexander the Great, MJ.
26:58 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
26:58 Speaker 02 Guys like that.
26:59 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I think there was a part of ancient warfare.
27:02 Speaker 03 LeBron James has not been named a pedophile, ever.
27:04 Speaker 02 I just love when he holds books. He does dozen reads.
27:09 Speaker 03 I can't judge him on that.
27:10 Speaker 02 I was getting into that.
27:11 Speaker 03 I can't, I don't think, who are we to judge, dude? Chapter one. Nailed it. I know that book. I'm with LeBron, Charles.
27:21 Matt McCusker? LeBron. The Dems are, we gotta own the repubs, dude.
27:24 Speaker 03 We gotta own the repubs a little, dude.
27:25 Matt McCusker? I don't know, uh, I don't know what's going on with them. I know they're like, there's.
27:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, they got McMahon in there. You like that, La Mer?
27:31 Matt McCusker? Vince McMahon is in the.
27:32 Speaker 03 No, Linda.
27:34 Speaker 02 Why don't you like that, La Mer?
27:36 Speaker 04 Linda stinks and she divorced Vince.
27:38 Matt McCusker? Dude, Vince was wild. Vince was crazy.
27:41 Speaker 03 Must have, bro.
27:42 Speaker 04 You guys are wrong, dude. Vince is the man.
27:44 Speaker 02 Vince wasn't banging wrestlers?
27:46 Speaker 04 Who wasn't? Who would?
27:48 Speaker 02 Dudes, bro.
27:49 Speaker 04 So what?
27:50 Matt McCusker? But he was banging the divas?
27:51 Speaker 03 He was banging the.
27:52 Speaker 04 He wasn't banging the dudes. He was banging some divas. He banged the dudes. He had the dudes banged with him. Like, he'd have his top guys banging the hot livers.
27:59 Matt McCusker? That's just a party, bro.
28:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's not a party, bro.
28:02 Matt McCusker? It's just a party.
28:02 Speaker 03 He's up to some weird shit. Mafia.
28:03 Speaker 04 Yeah, dude.
28:04 Matt McCusker? Dude, here's the thing. Imagine you have all these giant wrestlers. You're gonna wanna see, like, take down China. Yeah, you're gonna.
28:10 Speaker 03 Put it in the fucking, yeah, break down the walls.
28:12 Matt McCusker? He just took his toys out of the toy box. He took his toys out of the toy box.
28:15 Speaker 02 I showed Shane the Destiny chats at Leaks, bro. They're so gay.
28:19 Matt McCusker? What happened?
28:20 Speaker 02 He's talking about having a butt plug in and thinking about sucking dudes. That's literally quote.
28:26 Matt McCusker? Who, Destiny?
28:26 Speaker 02 Destiny's talking this chick like, oh, yeah.
28:29 Matt McCusker? He's been being really funny.
28:30 Speaker 02 I just want a butt plug. This is so intense. Intense.
28:35 Matt McCusker? Here's the thing, if he, if he was joking, that would be the funniest thing in the world, dude.
28:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, what if he was being funny?
28:41 Matt McCusker? If he was joking.
28:42 Speaker 02 That's hilarious, if he was being funny.
28:44 Matt McCusker? If you're being funny, that's the funniest thing in the world to say.
28:46 Speaker 02 Oof, this is intense. That just sounds too real.
28:52 Speaker 02 Mad dude, chicks walk around with that shit in your ass, bro.
28:54 Matt McCusker? Butt plugs?
28:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:56 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I'd be sick to like sit down on a political debate and just be plugged up.
28:59 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:00 Matt McCusker? I disagree, actually.
29:02 Speaker 02 Tokens.
29:04 Matt McCusker? I'm not gonna judge a man for wearing a butt plug. It is intense, I bet.
29:08 Matt McCusker? He's not a liar, it's a long thing.
29:09 Speaker 03 You could say a lot about him.
29:11 Matt McCusker? He's not a liar.
29:11 Speaker 03 He's telling the truth on this.
29:12 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that's an absolute truth.
29:14 Speaker 02 He's definitely telling the truth, that's just.
29:15 Matt McCusker? It is funny to wear one and act like it's like a medic, like an insulin detector, like, hold on, I'm a fucking butt plug.
29:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, you gotta check the app.
29:21 Matt McCusker? Give me a second. I need to board the plane first. My butt plug's going crazy right now. I need to do a medical pre-.
29:28 Speaker 03 I need an orange juice.
29:30 Matt McCusker? What percent of people do you think are walking around with butt plugs in, day to day?
29:37 Matt McCusker? You think it's ten?
29:37 Speaker 03 You think it's a solid ten?
29:38 Matt McCusker? Ten percent's crazy.
29:39 Speaker 03 Ten percent's way too much. No way.
29:41 Speaker 02 All day?
29:42 Matt McCusker? You're walking around with butt plugs? Yeah.
29:44 Speaker 02 Chicks do it supposedly to prepare for anal sex later in the night.
29:48 Matt McCusker? Not ten percent. I mean, you got gay dudes who act there every day.
29:53 Speaker 03 To prepare for anal sex later in the night.
29:56 Speaker 02 If you wear it all day, it's intense.
30:00 Matt McCusker? Yeah. You think you would just like, you would, ah, be crazy?
30:04 Speaker 02 When you do deviant shit like that.
30:07 Matt McCusker? It'd be nice, un-corking yourself and take a dump would be nice, brother.
30:11 Speaker 03 Your game.
30:11 Matt McCusker? Dude, popping the cork to dump, that would be nice.
30:14 Speaker 03 Hold it in all day?
30:14 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
30:14 Speaker 03 No.
30:15 Speaker 02 You ever take a dump that almost comes out sideways and it hurts?
30:18 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
30:19 Speaker 02 You know what I'm talking about?
30:20 Matt McCusker? Not sideways, but I've had a.
30:21 Speaker 02 Or just like a fucking big, a big fucker.
30:24 Matt McCusker? Wait, you've had, you've had like a breach?
30:26 Speaker 02 Hurts.
30:26 Speaker 03 Wait, in your mind, you think it's cause it's going outside?
30:29 Speaker 02 That's what it feels like, you know what I mean?
30:30 Matt McCusker? Take a piece on Tetris, just.
30:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:35 Speaker 03 It's a long one, you get a square.
30:36 Matt McCusker? Yeah. I've got, dude, I've got, I've got real like split one time.
30:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, for sure.
30:40 Matt McCusker? It hurts, bro.
30:41 Speaker 03 It's split open.
30:42 Matt McCusker? Yeah, it's split open.
30:43 Speaker 03 Shower before bed, you wake up, you got a dry butt.
30:47 Speaker 03 You got a dry asshole prime for the crackling. And you drop a fucking square.
30:54 Matt McCusker? Tetris cube.
30:57 Speaker 03 Cube, you go, where the fuck am I gonna put this?
31:00 Matt McCusker? You drop it next to four straight logs and go, yes, Tetris.
31:06 Matt McCusker? I just got, my shit's been out.
31:07 Speaker 02 Happened to me the other day.
31:08 Matt McCusker? Huh?
31:09 Speaker 02 Happened to me the other day.
31:09 Matt McCusker? For real?
31:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
31:11 Speaker 02 It was intense? Yeah, it was intense.
31:15 Matt McCusker? You could have been more diligent and wore the plug. He's probably just getting ready for fat turds, dude.
31:21 Matt McCusker? He's probably getting ready for the fattest turds.
31:23 Speaker 02 He is, supposedly he enjoys cockholding. Cockholding?
31:27 Matt McCusker? What's that?
31:28 Speaker 02 Cockholding? Cockholding, my fucking girlfriend's dad forever just called it cockholding. He thought it was a dude who just sits there and holds his cock. See, that guy's a cockhold.
31:38 Matt McCusker? That's what I was imagining. I was like, is that a thing where you just like hold someone's dick for a while? Follow them around?
31:43 Speaker 02 It's just his version of cuck.
31:45 Matt McCusker? I could see, I could see subbing out and just holding someone's dog for like, excuse me, putting a little leash on it.
31:52 Matt McCusker? Dude, Tom was telling me there's a new movie out about, um, Nicole Kidman is getting dommed.
31:58 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, Spade was telling me about that late.
32:00 Matt McCusker? Just her getting, she's a power businesswoman and like an intern comes in and is like, get on the floor. And just, it's like a new Fifty Shades of Grey type.
32:09 Matt McCusker? Just her getting dommed. That'd be nice to see. Take your babe and go see Nicole Kidman.
32:13 Speaker 02 Kidman, I loved her.
32:14 Speaker 03 Oh, I got, I got, this is, oh, fuck, I don't know if I should say it. All right.
32:20 Speaker 02 Society.
32:26 Speaker 03 All right, I'll say it, whatever. Ah, this is a tough one. This is exposing.
32:30 Matt McCusker? It's bad?
32:31 Speaker 03 No, I just, all right. So we're, we're watching, I'm, I'm with my parents. We're watching Notre Dame football.
32:37 Matt McCusker? Your dad pulls out a butt plug?
32:39 Speaker 03 My dad's butt plug started by, no, it's worse. It's worse. So we're watching Notre Dame. My, I, I, I went back home to chill with the boy. My, my father's gotta be sober watching football and it's it's tough to watch, man. It's just white knuckling the fucking, these white knuckling NFL Sunday, just.
32:59 Matt McCusker? Oh no.
32:59 Speaker 02 Makes the celebrations hurt more.
33:02 Speaker 03 Notre Dame's playing and a guy makes plays, his name's Christian Gray, he plays for Notre Dame. My mom goes, where do I know that name?
33:09 Matt McCusker? Oh no.
33:12 Speaker 03 What do you mean? She's like, it's in a book. And I was like, I was like, I don't know what book it is. And she's like, oh, I know. And that was quiet. And I was like, what, what are you talking, Fifty Shades of Grey?
33:24 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
33:25 Speaker 03 Disgusting.
33:26 Matt McCusker? I know, as soon as you said it.
33:28 Speaker 03 And then my other sister's there and she's like, yeah, mom read like fucking five of those books.
33:31 Speaker 02 They all do.
33:32 Speaker 03 And I was like, ew. And then he, she goes, yeah, and then she gave him to Katie, which she was done. And I was like, dude, that's fucking disgusting.
33:40 Speaker 02 That's like training porn mags.
33:41 Speaker 03 Exactly, that's what I said. I mean, that's fucking disgusting.
33:43 Matt McCusker? Most women are addicted to erotic literature.
33:46 Speaker 03 Yeah, but you don't want to think about your mom fucking.
33:48 Matt McCusker? Damn, she has them on like top of the VCR, like at your dad's place.
33:52 Speaker 03 You can find where the bookmark was, you go, oh, that's where she finished.
33:57 Speaker 03 And then tossing it to your other sister, being like, yo.
34:00 Matt McCusker? Get her fired up.
34:02 Speaker 02 Are they on Audible?
34:04 Matt McCusker? Oh, yeah. Did you ever see that guy on Instagram who blasted?
34:06 Speaker 02 This is Audible.
34:08 Matt McCusker? There's a guy who on Instagram who blasts Fifty Shades and goes through drive-throughs, it's pretty fucking funny. You see guys, and then he grabbed my ass, and you see a guy like handing fries, like, what the fuck?
34:19 Speaker 03 I thought that was more of a bombshell than it was.
34:21 Matt McCusker? That is hilarious, dude.
34:22 Speaker 03 It hurt.
34:22 Matt McCusker? Did you, did you know right away when you said Christian Gray?
34:25 Speaker 03 Ruined the whole second half of the game. I just sat there going.
34:27 Matt McCusker? You just held your father's hand, you're like, it's all right, father, don't worry.
34:29 Speaker 03 And my father is in poor health, he just had to sit, I mean, that should have driven him to alcohol.
34:35 Speaker 03 A disgusting wife and daughter.
34:37 Matt McCusker? No, all women read that stuff, it's non-stop. That's like, there's like the, one of the only books that sells. It's erotic, it's like romance novels and that, they call them romance novels, and then erotic.
34:46 Speaker 02 Are they the ones with like Fabio on the cover and shit?
34:48 Matt McCusker? Yeah, but they.
34:49 Speaker 03 You started hitting those.
34:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, you did.
34:50 Matt McCusker? I'll, I'll jerk off to some erotica.
34:52 Speaker 02 Matt is not afraid to explore his feminine.
34:55 Matt McCusker? I'm not afraid.
34:55 Speaker 03 You do have a feminine, what was it?
34:57 Matt McCusker? I do have a girl brain.
34:57 Speaker 03 No, you kept calling it like a, fuck, there was a word for it.
35:01 Matt McCusker? Oh, my anima?
35:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:03 Matt McCusker? My anima is well-developed. We all have an anima.
35:06 Speaker 03 It's so funny to do this shit and cope with it. I'd be like, my anima is well filled.
35:11 Matt McCusker? That just means your anima is screaming into death. So we all have an anima.
35:14 Speaker 05 What is an anima?
35:15 Matt McCusker? It's the feminine in the masculine psyche. And women all have an animus. And if your animus possessed, my god, watch out. But yeah, my anima is totally liberated. And it's also, dude, I'm telling you.
35:27 Speaker 03 Yo, you wanna know, there's a good, there's a bro I like right now. His anima is fully liberated. Jared McCain for the Sixers. He's the guy doing the fucking TikTok dances.
35:36 Matt McCusker? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:37 Speaker 03 His anima is out. He does not care. He's feminine, dude. He's hitting, he's dropping thirty and doing TikToks. Everyone's mad, dude.
35:44 Speaker 05 Painting his nails and shit.
35:45 Matt McCusker? Cause I'm three days into college and two lectures behind.
35:48 Speaker 05 You show me this guy.
35:49 Speaker 03 I love this dude so much. DM him, he doesn't answer.
35:54 Speaker 03 I get drunk and DM him.
35:58 Speaker 03 Oh, you're the man.
36:02 Speaker 03 Oh, fuck. He's been killing it. They, they're giving him a chance and he's dominating.
36:06 Matt McCusker? That's awesome, dude.
36:07 Speaker 05 He's gonna be Rookie of the Year.
36:08 Speaker 03 He's awesome.
36:09 Matt McCusker? You think so?
36:10 Speaker 05 Um, unless he gets hurt or something. If he keeps playing like he's playing, he's gonna be Rookie of the Year.
36:13 Speaker 03 But we can, so you and me, we can settle the Kendrick Drake, obviously Drake. Now we can settle Joel Joker. It's been settled.
36:24 Matt McCusker? It's.
36:24 Speaker 05 Joel's, he's acting like a, he's acting like a punk. In their prime, in their prime, I think Joe was a more skilled basketball player, but he might be, he might be. He's not washed. I ain't gonna say washed. He hit thirty-five last year.
36:38 Speaker 03 I know, I was watching, yeah, because he got called out and then everyone was making fun of him, so he tried.
36:42 Speaker 05 He's not washed. His knee is, he's got a bum knee.
36:44 Speaker 03 I hope, I, I pray for him. I hope he's.
36:47 Matt McCusker? Bum knees suck. My, my knee's kinda bum right now. It's pissing me off.
36:49 Speaker 03 Oh, really?
36:51 Matt McCusker? Pissing me off.
36:52 Speaker 05 How you skating with a bum knee?
36:53 Matt McCusker? Dude, huh?
36:54 Speaker 05 How you skating with a bum knee?
36:55 Speaker 03 Oh, is that how you bummed your knee out?
36:56 Matt McCusker? No, no, no. My knee, I actually, uh, sorry, we can talk about Joel. I don't wanna get all about myself.
37:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, I bet skating.
37:04 Matt McCusker? I was just sleeping wrong. I had like a this pillow between my knees and I think that was really what was fucking it up. Or lifting. I like took two weeks off lifting. I think so.
37:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't think it's a pillow.
37:13 Matt McCusker? But as soon as I switched that pillow out, it started to feel better.
37:15 Speaker 02 How do people receive you at the skate park?
37:17 Matt McCusker? Huh?
37:17 Speaker 02 How do people receive you at the skate?
37:18 Matt McCusker? Pretty good. I at first I was a little tight and I was like not dude, just going down those little ramps is hard as fuck. And then once I loosened up, I talked to a couple of the bros.
37:26 Speaker 03 You can take a tumble. You can be Jay Leno.
37:28 Matt McCusker? Dude, I could.
37:29 Speaker 03 You're gonna fall on your side and be totally bruised.
37:31 Matt McCusker? Dude, I I luckily I was alright. I wasn't going that big. I was just trying to like get my my feet under me. I dude, I would I didn't like think I'd be that bad. I was terrible at first.
37:41 Speaker 02 So hard, dude.
37:41 Matt McCusker? It's so hard, but then I got I got it down. Now I'm way more comfortable. How the 180?
37:46 Speaker 03 Yeah, the videos were nice that you sent me. I was happy about that.
37:48 Matt McCusker? That or the pump track. The pump track's sick. Dude, I for real, I skate.
37:52 Speaker 02 You going today?
37:53 Matt McCusker? Huh?
37:53 Speaker 02 You going today?
37:54 Matt McCusker? I'm gonna try. I'd like to.
37:56 Speaker 02 Oh, fuck.
37:56 Matt McCusker? But dude, skating's fucking sick, man. I did it for I did it for two hours the one afternoon. I dude, I think I burnt like 850 calories. It's crazy.
38:04 Speaker 03 That's gotta be intense though, getting there. If people are there, you skate in front of people?
38:08 Matt McCusker? I was scared and then I once I really got loose.
38:11 Speaker 03 If you falling and the wind knocked out of you in front of like a family, by yourself, just ugh.
38:15 Matt McCusker? Dude, the skaters are very supportive, dude.
38:17 Speaker 03 They'll pick you up.
38:18 Matt McCusker? They'll pick you up, they'll figure you're alright. And when I when I finally landed the 180, there was a guy who was like, sick. Cause I tried for an hour and a half to land the 180.
38:25 Speaker 02 That's what it's all about. FDR is fucking douchebag central.
38:28 Matt McCusker? What?
38:29 Speaker 02 FDR?
38:30 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that's.
38:30 Speaker 02 I was like eight years old. So dude like checked me. I was like, dude, what the fuck?
38:34 Speaker 03 What about the Tampa Am?
38:35 Speaker 02 I don't know shit about Tampa Am. That's Beezerville.
38:37 Speaker 03 You don't know Tampa Am?
38:38 Speaker 02 No.
38:38 Speaker 03 Fucking idiot.
38:39 Speaker 02 That's Beezerville.
38:40 Matt McCusker? There is a it's funny though, cause there are like.
38:42 Speaker 02 Heard Beezer rode a scooter at the Tampa Am.
38:46 Speaker 03 Yo, do not put smut on the bees.
38:48 Matt McCusker? I already bladed something crazy at the Tampa Am.
38:52 Speaker 03 Beezer landed a reverse. Uh, I forget what he said. It's great. I forget what it was. It was awesome.
38:57 Matt McCusker? You ever had a ripstick?
38:58 Speaker 03 Oh, Connor hit him with the Kamala could land a reverse whatever on you at the Tampa Am and he was like, I'd fucking kill that bitch.
39:06 Speaker 03 He was hammered talking up there by him.
39:09 Matt McCusker? It was funny to do an activity where there was like a child there too. It was like me, there was a guy's my age and there was like slightly younger. There was this one kid there who was like maybe 11.
39:17 Speaker 03 My balls.
39:18 Matt McCusker? Dude, this 11 year old kept doing this thing where he would go up the ramp and then he would just not even worry about skateboarding. He would try to launch himself as high as he could.
39:26 Speaker 03 I used to do that shit when I was little.
39:27 Matt McCusker? Dude, it was the funniest fucking thing.
39:29 Speaker 03 Do you start tapping your skateboard on the rail?
39:31 Matt McCusker? I didn't tap. I almost tapped one time. A guy did like a pretty nasty hard flip and I was like, I'm not gonna tap.
39:36 Speaker 03 I can't talk skate. I don't know anything about it.
39:38 Matt McCusker? Really?
39:38 Speaker 03 All I want to think about is Jared McCain's TikToks.
39:42 Speaker 03 It's the only thing that's going on in my brain right now. I can't figure it out.
39:45 Matt McCusker? I fully support him though. It is nice. It's your anima recognizing his liberated anima and you're going.
39:50 Speaker 03 I loved it when he was a Duke. I was going, I wanted to hate it.
39:53 Matt McCusker? Really?
39:54 Speaker 03 The first TikTok I saw, I was like, what the fuck? I watched the whole thing. I was like, yeah. What else does he have in here?
40:01 Matt McCusker? He's watched all of them.
40:02 Speaker 03 Did he hit the orangutan on there? Just.
40:07 Matt McCusker? I love that gif.
40:09 Speaker 03 Come to me.
40:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's. Me and Dini been getting it in at night. Pause.
40:14 Matt McCusker? What'd he say?
40:15 Speaker 02 Me and Dini been getting it in at night.
40:17 Speaker 03 They hit the duty together.
40:19 Matt McCusker? Oh, you guys been playing duty?
40:20 Speaker 03 Yes.
40:21 Matt McCusker? You guys are some duty bandits.
40:23 Speaker 02 Yes.
40:23 Speaker 03 Some late night duty bandits.
40:28 Speaker 03 Our girlfriends, our girlfriends are asleep. Sean, are you awake?
40:31 Speaker 02 No, I don't do that.
40:33 Speaker 03 Sean, are you?
40:33 Speaker 02 I do the exact opposite, brother.
40:35 Matt McCusker? Scream.
40:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, I've, I've played.
40:37 Speaker 02 I had people in the lobby scream right now, bro. They, and if they can't scream, they're pussy. I'll scream all I want. Scream. I can't, dude. My fucking kids are sleeping. Fucking scream, pussy. Do you run this household? Scream.
40:53 Speaker 03 You screamed the entire time.
40:54 Speaker 02 I fuck around the whole time.
40:57 Speaker 03 You know what? I've, I've played duty with him. He screams the entire fucking time. Every single time he gets, he gets killed 50 times.
41:03 Speaker 02 That's my rule and no one follows it.
41:04 Speaker 03 He sprints at everyone with an RPG and he gets killed and he goes, fuck. One second later.
41:10 Speaker 02 That's my rule. I try to get in the lobby. I say, anyone on our team, if you get killed, you have to scream like it's real life.
41:15 Speaker 06 It is real life.
41:17 Speaker 03 That's fun though, when that happens.
41:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:19 Matt McCusker? What time do you play until? When do you, when do you call it?
41:22 Speaker 03 Oh, we had a few sessions that were until like 12.
41:24 Matt McCusker? Oh, that's not bad.
41:25 Speaker 03 He was telling me his, his session. He's like, if I put in a good session, it's three hours.
41:29 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
41:29 Speaker 03 It's like, that's child's play.
41:31 Speaker 02 On duty, it's a whole different story though.
41:33 Speaker 03 Literally child's play. That's, I didn't, that's, I didn't even game today.
41:37 Speaker 03 Three hours, I didn't even game.
41:39 Speaker 02 It's intense on duty though.
41:40 Speaker 03 I had a day off of work. I hit the fucking banner lord. I charged it back up.
41:43 Matt McCusker? Did you really?
41:45 Speaker 03 12 hours.
41:45 Matt McCusker? How was your realm?
41:46 Speaker 03 Blew a fucking vessel in my eye. I was just fucking staring at the screen.
41:51 Speaker 02 You didn't blink?
41:52 Speaker 03 I didn't blink for a day.
41:54 Matt McCusker? Damn, you did a 12 hour session on the banner lord?
41:56 Speaker 03 Banner lord, yeah, it was, it was really fucked up.
41:59 Speaker 02 Oh, you play against the computer like a motherfucker.
42:00 Speaker 03 It was, it was really fucking weird what I did.
42:03 Matt McCusker? Taking on deep blue.
42:04 Speaker 02 I'm 28.
42:05 Speaker 03 Cause it was, three days into college, two lectures behind. This guy, let's name him Billy, says he wants to be mine.
42:15 Speaker 02 How's the kingdom?
42:16 Speaker 03 Kingdom's good right now.
42:17 Speaker 02 Does it freeze when you buy, does any like commerce go on?
42:20 Speaker 03 It freezes.
42:21 Speaker 02 Okay, thank God.
42:22 Speaker 03 I could leave it running for a weekend, just let my, let my caravans do their, do their bidding. But what if, what if we got invaded while I was going?
42:28 Speaker 02 True.
42:29 Matt McCusker? Is it online?
42:30 Speaker 03 No.
42:32 Matt McCusker? Just a cop.
42:33 Speaker 03 It's just me sitting in a room, playing against the machine.
42:35 Speaker 02 We had NHL in college. And there was a kid, we had live and there was a kid who would just play against the computer and flip and go, this is how you get better. Fucking lives cheat. That's fucking.
42:46 Speaker 03 You hit the spaz last night in Madden.
42:48 Speaker 02 I love it.
42:48 Speaker 03 You tried to take advantage of me last night in Madden.
42:50 Speaker 02 I fucking rage quit constantly.
42:52 Speaker 03 He, yeah, he tried to take advantage of me.
42:54 Speaker 02 I just exited game.
42:55 Speaker 03 I was just.
42:56 Speaker 02 Shane got another pick. I was like, exit game, done. I'm done playing.
42:59 Speaker 03 Spaz, exited as fast as he could. It's, it's pretty funny.
43:03 Matt McCusker? People do try to take advantage of you when you're in an ebriatic state.
43:05 Speaker 03 Soder took advantage of me.
43:06 Matt McCusker? Did he really?
43:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, he beat, he finally beat me in NCAA when I got, he's a sober man too.
43:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:12 Speaker 03 He's a sober man.
43:12 Matt McCusker? He was sharking on you.
43:13 Speaker 03 He got me at the end of the night and I was nasty about it.
43:16 Speaker 02 Shane would immediately start saying all sorts of mean shit when you start beating him.
43:20 Speaker 03 Like what?
43:20 Speaker 02 You're the cheapest guy in the fucking game. You're so gay. You run the same play every fucking time.
43:25 Speaker 03 I mean, that's how you get people to get off their game.
43:26 Speaker 02 I do the same shit though.
43:28 Speaker 03 It's, it works every time.
43:29 Speaker 02 Five and out.
43:30 Matt McCusker? It is funny though, having like someone sober praying, like praying on you like you pray on a woman, just be like, well, come on. Let's go back to your place.
43:36 Speaker 03 Do one more shot.
43:37 Matt McCusker? I don't know.
43:37 Speaker 03 Yeah. Come on, man.
43:38 Matt McCusker? Come on.
43:39 Speaker 03 Let's play.
43:39 Matt McCusker? Fine, we're not gonna play any. I just wanna hang out, we're not gonna play any games.
43:43 Speaker 03 I'll be Michigan, I'll be Michigan, I know you hate Michigan. Yeah, I hate Michigan, I'll play against Michigan. I was down like thirty to Soder and I was like, you feel good about this? And he was like, no dude, I don't, this sucks. Let's go to bed. I was like, yeah, exactly. We went to bed, I was like, you quit?
44:00 Matt McCusker? I win.
44:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, Soder, I know I've definitely said it before, but it was making me cry the other day. Like, I literally was crying laughing about it with, because I was telling Jay about it. Because when me and Soder played each other, he was up like twenty and he was finally gonna win.
44:18 Matt McCusker? Was this on the stream, you're saying?
44:19 Speaker 03 No, this was after.
44:20 Matt McCusker? Okay.
44:21 Speaker 03 And we're sitting there and DeRosa comes in and sits next to Soder and is like, Shane's right, your guys are blocking way better than his. And he was like, shut the fuck up, DeRosa. And I came back and he missed an extra point and lost. And when he finished, he put his controller down, DeRosa was sitting next to him, he goes, "Oh!" It was the craziest pass I've ever seen.
44:44 Matt McCusker? Was he serious?
44:45 Speaker 03 He was totally serious.
44:47 Matt McCusker? Damn.
44:48 Speaker 03 And Soder goes, "Oh!" I was like, what the fuck was that?
44:59 Matt McCusker? Oh my god.
45:00 Speaker 03 It was so good, DeRosa was like, jeez, man. What DeRosa's bitch ass. He's like, you wouldn't do that to other people. Five hours later, he's still going.
45:12 Matt McCusker? Oh my god.
45:12 Speaker 03 It was awesome.
45:14 Matt McCusker? That's such a good expression of a video game's pass. "Oh!"
45:18 Speaker 03 It was so funny, especially from Soder. He does it, he hits the hardest video game passes of anyone.
45:25 Matt McCusker? It's so funny, dude.
45:27 Speaker 03 A punch table.
45:30 Speaker 03 Fucking.
45:32 Matt McCusker? Oh, my God.
45:33 Speaker 03 So good. Yeah.
45:36 Matt McCusker? I can get him, dude. I get if I lose.
45:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, but you hit the funniest.
45:39 Matt McCusker? Run away. I run away.
45:42 Speaker 03 You literally run away.
45:46 Matt McCusker? I gotta hide my face, dude.
45:48 Speaker 02 It's like you ever see a video of a little black kid losing video games? He starts crying playing the controller.
45:55 Matt McCusker? It sucks when you lose.
45:58 Matt McCusker? It sucks so bad.
45:59 Speaker 03 We used to have losing the computer in Bannerlord after you've been playing for 12 hours. When you lose everything, you go, what the fuck did I do today?
46:09 Speaker 03 Remember I played FIFA? I'd play FIFA for a week straight without getting up. I'd get fired. Get an email on the video game be like, you're done, dude. You gotta go outside.
46:22 Matt McCusker? That'd be funny. You like text but in the game, but about real life and be like, dude, it's your mom. What the fuck are you doing? The fuck is this? This is bullshit, dude. Shut the fuck up.
46:30 Speaker 03 How come you're not married?
46:31 Matt McCusker? The fuck?
46:32 Speaker 03 I'm trying to bring Norwich. The prem.
46:37 Speaker 02 We used to have an N64 in our unfinished basement. That was fucking scary.
46:41 Speaker 03 Everyone had an N64 in unfinished.
46:43 Speaker 02 Not N64, it was Super Nintendo or any S4000. But they would all play it. Whatever Mortal Kombat was on, maybe a Genesis as well. And I would never be able to play. And then when everyone was away, I would sneak down.
46:55 Speaker 03 That's nice.
46:56 Speaker 02 Someone would catch me, turn the lights off and I'd be like, fuck! It's like good upstairs.
47:01 Matt McCusker? That basement was terrifying, dude.
47:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
47:03 Matt McCusker? It was a cement dungeon. There were spiders in the little like water gaps. There was these big wolf spiders.
47:08 Speaker 03 That sucks.
47:09 Matt McCusker? I see. Yeah, I wouldn't be caught.
47:10 Speaker 03 Lights out while gaming.
47:11 Speaker 02 Fed got PS1, though, on a mad one. Like, one day I rolled up in their room and he just had PS1 on TV. I was like, what the fuck? Cool Borders, the best game of all time.
47:20 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
47:21 Speaker 03 It's pretty good.
47:21 Matt McCusker? Easily. I forget. Yeah, Cool Borders one and two was, I think two might have been better than one. Three was bullshit.
47:27 Speaker 02 Yeah. Whatever one you go, you could be the alien was sick.
47:30 Speaker 03 Echo the Dolphin on Sega.
47:32 Matt McCusker? You fucked with Echo?
47:33 Speaker 03 Yeah. I never got out of the first level.
47:36 Matt McCusker? That's exactly what I got.
47:38 Speaker 03 Sat there for a day.
47:39 Matt McCusker? It's vibed out?
47:40 Speaker 03 Being a dolphin swimmer.
47:41 Matt McCusker? That's so sick, dude.
47:42 Speaker 03 Killing jellyfish with my nose.
47:44 Matt McCusker? That's so sick.
47:45 Speaker 03 I really don't understand this game.
47:48 Speaker 02 Have you ever played The Bully?
47:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
47:50 Speaker 02 That was a great game.
47:50 Speaker 03 That game was awesome.
47:51 Speaker 02 What was it? The Bully. What'd you do? The rock star.
47:53 Speaker 03 It was like, uh, it was Grand Theft Auto, except you were just a bad kid at a
47:58 Speaker 02 What?
47:58 Speaker 03 School, yeah.
47:59 Speaker 02 It's great.
48:00 Speaker 03 It's a good game.
48:00 Speaker 02 Sounds awesome.
48:01 Speaker 03 It was.
48:02 Speaker 02 I just got Fusion Frenzy.
48:03 Speaker 03 Played cool music when you rode, rode bikes?
48:05 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
48:06 Speaker 03 Do you remember that?
48:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, that fucking game was amazing.
48:08 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:09 Speaker 02 Fusion Frenzy's sick. I tried to play it with Ben and she hated it.
48:12 Speaker 03 We can hit it.
48:13 Speaker 02 I love it.
48:13 Speaker 03 We can hit Fusion Frenzy today.
48:14 Speaker 02 This game sucks. It's like, it fucking rules. When you go in the washer, I love that.
48:17 Matt McCusker? Yeah, it's easily one of the best games, actually.
48:20 Speaker 02 Xbox controllers were fucking nuts. Original Xbox controllers were fucking massive, dude. They're just big Chunguses. You had to like, hold it like this.
48:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:29 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I was, I despised them.
48:31 Speaker 03 I got, somebody made fun of me for that controller.
48:33 Speaker 02 Why?
48:34 Speaker 03 On the internet. It said my name on it.
48:36 Speaker 02 Can't be proud of yourself?
48:38 Speaker 03 I'm not, that is psychotic.
48:40 Speaker 02 How's it psychotic?
48:40 Speaker 03 Have a picture of yourself? It was a gift. I'm not, yeah, what am I gonna do?
48:44 Speaker 02 What, you gonna rip it off?
48:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:45 Speaker 02 You hurt yourself?
48:46 Matt McCusker? That would be psychotic to scratch your face off a controller.
48:48 Speaker 03 After I, after I lose a game, just, I don't even deserve this.
48:55 Speaker 02 That's like Red Dragon.
48:56 Speaker 03 We need to get UFC, we need to get UFC going.
48:58 Speaker 02 Fuck UFC.
48:59 Matt McCusker? It's true.
48:59 Speaker 03 Been so, have you guys been playing at all? I haven't played at all.
49:02 Speaker 02 I haven't played.
49:03 Speaker 03 Ooh, guard dog.
49:04 Speaker 02 I have.
49:04 Speaker 03 You have?
49:06 Speaker 02 Guard dog speaks heavy.
49:07 Matt McCusker? You guys are partying, one of the guard dogs been training.
49:10 Speaker 03 You guys have, yeah, you guys have been out fucking around and guard dogs.
49:12 Speaker 04 He didn't tell us he was training. Just trying to get good.
49:16 Speaker 03 Wait, which one of you guys, when are you getting good on the ground in that?
49:18 Speaker 04 Nate.
49:19 Speaker 03 Little bitch ass.
49:21 Speaker 02 Why my bitch ass? That's cause, that's how, I think that's how I got you.
49:24 Speaker 03 You never got, I mean, you definitely never got me.
49:26 Speaker 04 Let's, get fighting, dude. Fuck ground and pound.
49:29 Speaker 03 There's a new boxing game that's apparently pretty good.
49:31 Speaker 02 It's all, it's all right.
49:32 Speaker 03 Is it good?
49:33 Speaker 02 It's okay.
49:33 Speaker 03 Yeah. UFC's the best.
49:35 Matt McCusker? I can't wait till, uh, Logan Paul or Jake Paul comes out with his boxing game. Him in the elderly.
49:40 Speaker 03 Which is him knocking out Asians on a subway.
49:44 Speaker 03 Sweet, dude. You showed them.
49:47 Matt McCusker? We solved the crime. We know who, who was doing it all that time. That was fucking horrendous.
49:53 Speaker 02 I think Tyson Daddy fucking chilled though. First round, I was like, fuck Jake Paul's gonna get knocked the fuck out.
49:59 Matt McCusker? Alright.
49:59 Speaker 02 And then Tyson just put the brakes on, started moving all crazy.
50:02 Speaker 03 I don't think.
50:03 Matt McCusker? He was so shaky, that was the thing. Like, at first, he was throwing those punches and there was the thing in the clinch where people, like, he saw Tyson tap his head and people thought like that was Paul being like, yo chill, or you're not gonna get the bag. But he was also, he was like shaky.
50:15 Speaker 03 Would they be able to withhold the bag if he won? There's no way.
50:19 Speaker 06 Stipulations that if he won, he would be paid less money than he'd.
50:23 Matt McCusker? There's.
50:24 Speaker 03 There's no way.
50:25 Speaker 02 The whole way.
50:27 Speaker 03 There's no way they made that public.
50:29 Matt McCusker? Check that, that might be Blueski information.
50:30 Speaker 03 That might be Blueski Russian disinformation.
50:32 Matt McCusker? No, I've, or, or just X too.
50:35 Speaker 04 Jake Paul kinda beat the shit out of Mike Tyson and nobody's willing to admit that.
50:39 Matt McCusker? He could, he could have taken his head off. He could have taken his head off if he wanted to.
50:42 Speaker 04 Would have killed him if like they were fighting, fighting. Jake Paul had seventy punches, landed seventy, Mike Tyson only landed six.
50:49 Matt McCusker? Yeah, it was onk first upon.
50:51 Speaker 02 Dude, like, I would beat the fuck out of my dad right now.
50:54 Matt McCusker? Huh?
50:55 Speaker 02 I would beat the fuck out of my dad in a boxing match. Obviously. The fact that he didn't get knocked down in the first round is crazy.
51:05 Matt McCusker? Yeah, dude, it was, towards the end, that was the one thing, it was honorable that he didn't just take Tyson's head off. I think he was gonna become an ultimate goblin if he did, because he could have knocked him out. I think at least he could.
51:14 Speaker 02 I just hate the code switching they do is fucking crazy. The Paul, the code switching the Pauls do confuses.
51:20 Matt McCusker? What'd he do?
51:20 Speaker 02 Mike Tyson was in the ring afterwards, like, oh, your next Logan Paul, Logan Paul's like, I kill you motherfucker. It was fucking bizarre. It's like, dude, you're from Ohio. Why are you talking like that?
51:32 Matt McCusker? Yeah, but I feel like if you're a YouTuber for that long, I think you're allowed to.
51:36 Speaker 02 What?
51:36 Matt McCusker? After like ten years of being like a YouTuber, you can just say, you can talk however you want.
51:40 Speaker 02 That's, yeah, it's fucking, those dudes.
51:42 Speaker 03 It's like Puerto Ricans in New York.
51:43 Matt McCusker? Exactly. There you go.
51:44 Speaker 03 Their grandfather did.
51:47 Speaker 03 Filipinos in LA. Okay.
51:49 Matt McCusker? It grabs the algorithm. Grabs the algorithm.
51:53 Speaker 02 Maybe. That's, yeah, that might just be the best fucking.
51:56 Matt McCusker? It is funny for me to be like.
51:57 Speaker 03 Jake Paul would fuck you up, dude.
51:59 Speaker 02 Dude, I have a gun. He can fucking fight all he wants. Shut up. Oh, you're a black belt jujitsu?
52:07 Matt McCusker? Sure. Pull that thing out.
52:09 Speaker 02 Oh, you're a karate master?
52:11 Matt McCusker? You're gonna kill someone cold blood?
52:13 Speaker 02 There's no reason. You can sit there all day long and fucking fight all you want, you're just gonna get neck kinks and shit. It sucks.
52:23 Speaker 02 You wanna wrestle dudes, you're gonna be hurt all the time.
52:25 Matt McCusker? Here's the thing, say you're at a bar, people start acting up and you get to fucking. Everyone in front of your baby, you have to go. Stop dude.
52:33 Speaker 03 I will say killing so much jujitsu at a bar seems kind of fucking lame.
52:37 Matt McCusker? That's the whole point of it.
52:38 Speaker 03 Like on the ground, rolling with a guy.
52:39 Matt McCusker? Yeah. No, he's choke him, he go.
52:41 Speaker 02 Just tap dude, just tap man.
52:44 Matt McCusker? I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this, I've been looking forward to this secretly my whole life, I don't wanna do this.
52:49 Speaker 03 Get somebody in a triangle, yeah. Get an armbar on the ground and then his friend comes up and just goes.
52:54 Speaker 03 Right on your face while you're like, you're stop.
52:57 Matt McCusker? In the fucking head. But then your jits bros are gonna be there to be like, stop.
53:00 Speaker 03 Jits bros will fucking.
53:01 Matt McCusker? Lucky I don't have my fucking geek.
53:03 Speaker 03 The jits, the jits bros at the fucking mothership would go nuts.
53:06 Matt McCusker? They would.
53:07 Speaker 03 Every single fucking security guy in there is like a mutant.
53:10 Matt McCusker? Yes.
53:11 Speaker 02 I was at, I was at.
53:12 Matt McCusker? Why you need a gun?
53:13 Speaker 03 If a homeless guy.
53:13 Matt McCusker? Fucking dangerous jujitsu man out there.
53:15 Speaker 03 Comes in there, he's getting every limb broken. He's getting wrestling.
53:19 Speaker 02 William Wallace in fucking Braveheart.
53:23 Speaker 03 Ten fucking jujitsu dudes to go rip apart.
53:26 Matt McCusker? There was for real a giant one in the little boy room, there was this giant man who was being a problem and I watched three of the bouncers just like, this guy was huge dude, I was, it was like, I was like, fuck, I would be terrified to fight this guy. And there was like two or three of them looked at each other like, it's go time. And I was like, damn, these dudes are a fucker. I would have been like, I'm not touching this fucking guy. He was massive. They got him up and like walked him out of the room and I was like.
53:48 Matt McCusker? Yeah, they were ready dude, they were like, they were like gearing up and I was like, dude, this is kind of scary, you guys are the real deal. Huge dude.
53:54 Speaker 03 Dude, what, the mothership guys?
53:56 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
53:56 Speaker 03 They're all like 10th planet or whatever. They all like the best in the world.
53:59 Matt McCusker? Yeah, man. They were, you could tell they were kinda like, looked at each other like, we might, if we have to fight this guy.
54:04 Speaker 03 Does make you feel kinda fucking gay as a comedian.
54:06 Matt McCusker? What?
54:07 Speaker 03 Like, you see the scare, you go like, they're like troops. You walk up to them, you're like, hey man.
54:12 Matt McCusker? Yeah, you feel, you feel like a girl.
54:14 Speaker 03 I mean, I have a big day. I have to do comedy.
54:16 Matt McCusker? I got this new joke.
54:17 Speaker 02 Dude, when I was there the last time, dude said what's up to me.
54:20 Speaker 03 Who?
54:20 Speaker 02 I don't know, the security guards, listening to the fucking.
54:22 Speaker 03 Oh, they're fucking definitely tapped in.
54:24 Matt McCusker? Brother?
54:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
54:25 Matt McCusker? Real man.
54:26 Speaker 02 They're good bros.
54:26 Matt McCusker? That's why I'm friends with the jujitsu guys, but if they ever rise up.
54:30 Speaker 03 You have a gun.
54:31 Matt McCusker? Stop.
54:31 Speaker 03 You get a James Bond.
54:32 Matt McCusker? Get off my leg. Shoot them right in the back.
54:35 Speaker 02 Fuck off my leg.
54:37 Matt McCusker? You think they let you practice in the studio, like pulling out on them, just while they're wrestling?
54:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:42 Matt McCusker? Obviously pause.
54:43 Speaker 03 Obviously pause, but. No, they, they train for fucking dudes with guns.
54:47 Matt McCusker? Do they?
54:48 Speaker 03 They have those, you know those things you punch, they're like the, what are those things?
54:52 Matt McCusker? Oh, the, the, yeah.
54:53 Speaker 03 The jack guys?
54:54 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
54:54 Speaker 03 They have those holding guns.
54:56 Speaker 02 Just hit him with one of these, bet you didn't see this coming.
54:58 Speaker 03 Yeah. I'm never gonna tap.
55:02 Speaker 02 You can armbar me?
55:06 Matt McCusker? Shoot myself in the ass right now.
55:07 Speaker 02 Now you have to clean me up, idiot.
55:08 Matt McCusker? Let me take out my butt.
55:09 Speaker 03 I'm about to ruin your whole bar.
55:10 Speaker 02 There's dudes who do that.
55:11 Speaker 03 What?
55:12 Speaker 02 Uh, there's a fucking, uh, gun store near my parents' house where like dudes will roll in, buy a gun, be like, thanks, where's your bathroom at? Go to the bathroom? Shooting.
55:21 Matt McCusker? In the bathroom, they've done it?
55:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:23 Matt McCusker? In the, you're talking about the master?
55:25 Speaker 02 And then they have to clean it up.
55:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, people don't talk about that enough.
55:30 Speaker 02 They just go in, buy a gun, go into the bathroom, done.
55:33 Matt McCusker? You know, I peed myself at that, that, uh, gun range bathroom when I was a little boy. My papa took me shooting.
55:39 Speaker 02 Recently, I pissed the bed recently.
55:40 Matt McCusker? If you're talking about the same gun place, you pissed the bed recently?
55:42 Speaker 02 Stone cold sober. I just had a dream I was peeing. I was like, what the?
55:45 Matt McCusker? Bro, I've been, I've been like peeing in dreams and not peeing the bed. It's been crazy.
55:49 Speaker 02 It comes for you.
55:51 Matt McCusker? Huh?
55:51 Speaker 02 At one point, it comes for you.
55:53 Matt McCusker? I look, don't get me wrong, I've done it as an adult.
55:55 Speaker 02 And then I got caught too.
55:56 Matt McCusker? You got busted?
55:57 Speaker 02 Cause I ran out, took off my boxers and came back in and put it down on the bed and went to see if she's like, what the fuck did you just do? I was like, nothing. She's like, did you pee? It's like, yes.
56:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, I peed my pants.
56:07 Matt McCusker? I only peed, I peed a little bit. It was a tiny little bit.
56:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, there's nothing wrong with pissing your pants.
56:11 Matt McCusker? It's just a little bit.
56:13 Speaker 03 Well, man, I know you've pissed your pants recently.
56:17 Speaker 02 No, but I fucking, I got drenched, I was sick and I got fucking, I drenched a bed in sweat.
56:22 Speaker 03 Sweat, yeah. That's the best.
56:25 Speaker 02 He's a pool dude.
56:26 Matt McCusker? I love that dude, waking up with a fever and just being like, just soaking wet. I fucking love that shit.
56:31 Speaker 03 I actually, I actually, I actually kind of agree, that is nice. Especially you take a nap while you're sick, wake up, you just ruin the couch.
56:38 Matt McCusker? Yep, fucking awesome. Then you get like real, you're hot, you're chilly and you wake up and you're wet, you're really chilly and you take off your wet clothes and get coffee under the blanket.
56:45 Speaker 03 Yep. Break this.
56:46 Speaker 02 I love a good rea. If you have like a day long rea fest where you're just fucking, everything's coming out, I feel like it's good for me.
56:52 Matt McCusker? It's awesome.
56:52 Speaker 03 I do too, but then you get stuck with like a three day re fest.
56:56 Speaker 02 A what?
56:57 Speaker 03 A three day.
56:58 Speaker 02 Oh, re fest, yeah. That's where the bidet comes in huge. If you have paper towels on your asshole and you have a fucking re fest, it's over.
57:04 Matt McCusker? Yo, baby wipes.
57:06 Speaker 02 No baby wipes.
57:07 Matt McCusker? I'm telling you dude.
57:07 Speaker 02 It's how you clog the toilet.
57:09 Matt McCusker? Throw them in the trash can.
57:09 Speaker 02 That's foul, bro.
57:10 Speaker 03 Throw them in like my cream box.
57:11 Speaker 02 Put your shit it up, baby wipes in the fucking toilet.
57:14 Matt McCusker? Wrap them up, then you throw something on top of them, so no one sees your shitty little surprise, your shitty little secret.
57:18 Speaker 03 Get a bidet.
57:19 Matt McCusker? Huh?
57:20 Speaker 03 Get a bidet.
57:20 Matt McCusker? And also, I, dude, yeah, but my kids will turn them on and shoot it everywhere.
57:24 Speaker 03 Put a child lock on it.
57:26 Matt McCusker? Then I'm not gonna be able to wipe my goddamn ass with the thing, dude.
57:28 Speaker 03 You can probably get one that's on an app.
57:30 Matt McCusker? Dude, then I gotta, well, I already have my, I'm not gonna pretend I don't have my phone out while I'm shitting, but I don't have to look at my phone, dude, I don't want screen time. I have so many fucking things in my house that require me to look at my phone, it's kind of annoying.
57:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, I feel like none of them ever work.
57:43 Matt McCusker? They all suck, every time. It's bullshit. There's a bullshit app with every fucking product now, they're like, you ought to log into this, it's like, dude.
57:49 Speaker 02 I do it with an ear cleaner, it's so awesome. The ear, the ear cleaner with the fucking camera.
57:54 Matt McCusker? It's a what?
57:55 Speaker 02 Oh dude, it's the best. It's definitely just selling all your, all your data, some Chinese company, but you turn it on, it connects to your phone, it has a camera and you go in there and just scrape out your wax, dude. I took one out where it was literally just like, a whole thing in my ear, like the, got there, got in there, ripped it all out.
58:11 Matt McCusker? You think the Chinese government's got your wax, they're going, oh.
58:14 Speaker 02 Absolutely. There was just some huge data breach with, um.
58:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:16 Speaker 02 Barry McCusky.
58:17 Matt McCusker? China.
58:17 Speaker 02 Barry McCusky, waxey.
58:21 Matt McCusker? You think they caught you, they got you on wax, they're like, uh, sir, what do you think about that? He goes, wax on.
58:25 Speaker 03 Yes.
58:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, we got hacked.
58:27 Speaker 04 We got hacked. We got hacked by China. They hacked our telecoms.
58:31 Speaker 02 Well, by a booger corporation?
58:32 Speaker 04 No.
58:35 Speaker 02 Fucking Trump, dude.
58:36 Speaker 04 They hacked our, they hacked it probably a couple of years ago and they've been remaining dormant and they've been collecting information on like a hundred.
58:43 Speaker 02 What, like four years ago?
58:44 Speaker 04 Probably before that.
58:48 Speaker 04 They hacked our old infrastructure because we have all these backdoors so we can spy on people. Alright, that's it.
58:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, that happened. I think Joe Biden's son Hunter was over there and he got a diamond from a very rich Chinese man. Little quid pro Joe was over there doing some bad dealings.
59:04 Speaker 03 Big guy.
59:05 Speaker 02 Really? Ten percent. Oh dude, O'Connor fucking tried to hit me with ten, he's like, why isn't?
59:10 Speaker 03 O'Connor owns us, dude.
59:11 Speaker 02 Why, why isn't fucking Biden going to jail? I was like, they only referred to him as the big guy. I was like, so since they say the big guy can't go to jail, I was like, yeah, they're not naming the guy. They're just saying the big guy.
59:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, that was a good argument. He was, he had us.
59:23 Speaker 02 That's fucking annoying, yeah.
59:24 Speaker 03 He was like, well, he would go to jail if he was guilty.
59:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:27 Speaker 03 That's it. Trump's getting arrested.
59:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:30 Speaker 03 Because he's guilty. Biden's not because he's innocent.
59:32 Speaker 02 Thirty-four count, thirty-four felonies. Do you like Harry Sisson, Dean Weathers and those boys?
59:37 Speaker 04 Who?
59:38 Speaker 02 Harry Sisson, Dean Weathers and those boys?
59:40 Speaker 04 Those fellows, I'm sorry.
59:43 Speaker 02 This will fucking.
59:44 Speaker 04 Oh, I don't like young Dems. Young Dems are so fucking gay.
59:47 Speaker 03 There you go. You're true, you're true bluesky.
59:53 Speaker 02 Blue no matter who.
59:54 Speaker 03 Put that on bluesky. Fire it up.
59:56 Speaker 02 Where is this video? This video infuriates me. I feel like they're destroying me. You can keep talking.
1:00:03 Matt McCusker? No, I want to see what you're talking about.
1:00:04 Speaker 02 I'm trying to find it.
1:00:06 Matt McCusker? Can't believe China has your ears waxed.
1:00:09 Speaker 02 Dude, it's the best. You like cleaning your ears?
1:00:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:00:12 Speaker 02 It's very nice.
1:00:12 Speaker 03 I do it too much.
1:00:13 Speaker 02 You can see it.
1:00:14 Matt McCusker? I just, I just dug in last night. It was pretty nice.
1:00:16 Speaker 03 It's nice.
1:00:16 Matt McCusker? Especially when I'm like, I can go a little further.
1:00:18 Speaker 03 You forget about it for a while and then you get in there and you go, holy schniki.
1:00:21 Matt McCusker? Yeah, and you go.
1:00:23 Speaker 02 When you just get an orange Q-tip coming out, you're like, yo, what the fuck?
1:00:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, you gotta hide that.
1:00:27 Matt McCusker? Yeah, true.
1:00:28 Speaker 03 If the lady sees that, it's really, really gross.
1:00:30 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I, yeah. That's the worst one. I'll like wipe my ass in the shower with a wet towel and every now and again, Brittany will peer over the ledge and be like, oh my, I'm like, dude, how about you give me some fucking privacy?
1:00:39 Speaker 03 You have shit on your ass in the shower like that?
1:00:41 Matt McCusker? Sometimes my ass is kind of fucked up. Yeah. If I'm like, I like wiped and I'm like, mm, I'm gonna have the showers on that one.
1:00:46 Speaker 03 The oil slick.
1:00:47 Matt McCusker? Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. It's like rainbow, it's like rainbowing all the thing.
1:00:51 Speaker 02 Here's the, here's the mid.
1:00:52 Speaker 03 Dock covered in it.
1:00:55 Matt McCusker? Bring me the dawn.
1:00:56 Speaker 07 Chronic disease in the United States is increasing is not because of chemicals in the food. Okay, as Donald Trump takes power and we're all reeling from the fact that this psychopath is gonna be in office, some of the most misinformation that we're gonna have to fight against together is health related. RFK Junior is an environmental lawyer, not a doctor. Listen to the doctors. You know why chronic disease in the United States is, is rising is because of obesity. Whoa, Chris, why is obesity going up? If the government's doing their job, capitalism. Everybody has more money than ever in the most complex, well put together society ever on the face of the planet. Look at where I'm sitting. I'm sitting in a vehicle where small explosions in the back will propel me forward to the nearest fucking McDonald's, where I can get a meal that's very, uh.
1:01:34 Matt McCusker? So you're saying we're too damn rich, that's why we have, we have obesity?
1:01:36 Speaker 07 And I can do it cheaply and in like five minutes.
1:01:38 Matt McCusker? Such a dumb argument.
1:01:40 Speaker 07 Education, I don't know, eat a diet that consists of.
1:01:42 Speaker 02 Turn this clown off.
1:01:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:01:43 Speaker 02 Turn this fucking clown off.
1:01:47 Matt McCusker? It's the dumbest argument I've ever heard in my fucking life.
1:01:54 Speaker 03 No, it's not.
1:01:54 Speaker 02 Yeah, also explosions in cars happen in the engine, not in the muffler, you fucking pussy.
1:02:03 Speaker 03 Could have been a Lamborghini.
1:02:04 Matt McCusker? Lamborghini's fucking.
1:02:07 Speaker 02 True, I didn't know. Yeah, that was crazy. That kid pissed me the fuck off.
1:02:12 Matt McCusker? That's crazy, man, it's not chemicals, it's because we have so much money.
1:02:14 Speaker 02 But I did comment on it, say thank you so much for saying this, finally some sense.
1:02:18 Matt McCusker? Dude, you know who I've been getting fired up? On Instagram, that whenever there's like, this lady comes up on my feed and she is a, I believe a mask, a traditional mask lesbian.
1:02:28 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:02:29 Matt McCusker? And she comes on the feed and puts on different fits and everyone's like, beautiful, you're looking, and it's.
1:02:33 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
1:02:34 Matt McCusker? I only ever give her big ups, I'm always like, fire, fire fucking outfit. It's kinda nice. I just gas her up.
1:02:41 Speaker 02 You just trying to get finned on by someone?
1:02:42 Matt McCusker? No, no, no, no, I just, everyone's so fucking mean. I've been seeing, it's like a cringe compilation thing.
1:02:48 Speaker 03 All day, dude.
1:02:49 Matt McCusker? What was that?
1:02:50 Speaker 03 Margaret's fucked.
1:02:51 Matt McCusker? What is it?
1:02:51 Speaker 03 A lot of guitars, that's pretty clean right now, honestly.
1:02:53 Speaker 02 You've gotten into guitars.
1:02:54 Matt McCusker? Not gonna lie.
1:02:55 Speaker 03 Kenny Towers, guitars, wet dog.
1:02:56 Speaker 02 Pretty clean.
1:02:57 Matt McCusker? I just feel bad, you go on like the cringe videos, everyone's being so nasty.
1:03:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, love that.
1:03:02 Speaker 03 See what she's up to.
1:03:05 Speaker 03 Love it.
1:03:05 Matt McCusker? What is that?
1:03:07 Speaker 02 I've been getting crushed with like, public riz videos and shit, they kill me.
1:03:10 Matt McCusker? Public riz are nice. Oh, excuse you.
1:03:12 Speaker 03 Those Indian riz videos are nice.
1:03:14 Matt McCusker? What?
1:03:14 Speaker 03 The Indian riz videos?
1:03:15 Matt McCusker? What's your, oh, oh, yeah.
1:03:16 Speaker 03 They have like, one girl and then, yeah, it's nice.
1:03:20 Matt McCusker? I like the Indian street food gross out compilation.
1:03:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, just grabbing shit with their hand.
1:03:24 Matt McCusker? So fucking funny. Huh?
1:03:27 Speaker 02 They're foul.
1:03:28 Matt McCusker? Yeah, it's.
1:03:28 Speaker 02 Dirty country.
1:03:30 Matt McCusker? Pretty bad stuff.
1:03:31 Speaker 02 Please like and subscribe to my video.
1:03:33 Speaker 03 What else is going on, guys?
1:03:34 Matt McCusker? Uh, pretty much that, man. Dude, I've been doing school visits. Like, looking at different schools now. Hey. The one, dude, I went to one.
1:03:43 Speaker 03 I'm just thinking about McCain, dude.
1:03:44 Matt McCusker? I went to this one school and it was like, uh, it, you know, it's like, kind of like, uh, it's like an alternative. They have like a different, whole different like approach of stuff. And they had like, they're like, these trees, they're, these are climbing trees with the kids climbing the climbing trees. It's good for their core. And dude, there's this guy, four people or like, six people on tour. This one dad would go, yes, oh, yes.
1:04:04 Speaker 03 Oh, fuck.
1:04:05 Matt McCusker? So important. They had marbles in the math class, like, we want to give them a tactile sensory experience along with the math. And the guy goes,
1:04:12 Speaker 03 Rich Altucher.
1:04:13 Matt McCusker? Swear to God, he was going, oh, yes, oh, that's so great. And I, we'll get Brittany like.
1:04:18 Speaker 03 It's Adderall, bro.
1:04:19 Matt McCusker? You think so?
1:04:20 Speaker 03 Probably.
1:04:20 Matt McCusker? I don't.
1:04:21 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, fuck yeah.
1:04:21 Matt McCusker? Well, it's.
1:04:22 Speaker 03 That's really great.
1:04:25 Speaker 03 Holy fuck, they're trees.
1:04:29 Matt McCusker? Maybe it was Adderall, I don't know what it was. It was the craziest reaction I've ever heard. I was like, dude. The what?
1:04:34 Speaker 02 You get pumped up about shit on Adderall.
1:04:37 Matt McCusker? Yeah, I, I think it was with the school. I think it was like, everything they'd say, it, I guess it felt good, but it, oh, it's so great.
1:04:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:04:43 Matt McCusker? Oh, it's so important.
1:04:44 Speaker 03 It is so important.
1:04:45 Matt McCusker? We love the child, oh, yes, so good. It was crazy.
1:04:49 Speaker 02 I'm convinced that guy had a butt plug in.
1:04:51 Matt McCusker? Do you have, why do you have to butt plug in?
1:04:53 Speaker 03 That's one of the ten percent.
1:04:54 Matt McCusker? That's one of the ten percent. We are the ten percent.
1:04:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, he was probably covering his tracks. He was probably going, oh yeah, so, oh yeah.
1:05:04 Matt McCusker? True, his wife might have hit him with a surge. His wife might have been in the pocketbook going, buzzing him up.
1:05:10 Speaker 02 Do you watch the new Dune?
1:05:11 Matt McCusker? Huh?
1:05:12 Speaker 02 The new Dune show?
1:05:14 Matt McCusker? No.
1:05:14 Speaker 02 It's fucking so good.
1:05:15 Matt McCusker? Saving myself from the movies.
1:05:16 Speaker 02 I've been killing women-written shows. The Penguin?
1:05:20 Speaker 03 The Penguin.
1:05:21 Matt McCusker? Is that women-written?
1:05:22 Speaker 02 Penguin is so fucking good, dude.
1:05:24 Matt McCusker? Is it really?
1:05:25 Speaker 02 It's awesome. You're a hater.
1:05:26 Matt McCusker? Did you fuck with H O D?
1:05:28 Speaker 02 H-
1:05:28 Matt McCusker? House of Dragons?
1:05:29 Speaker 02 Nah, I- I'm gonna get back on it. I- I just, I kinda fell off, honestly.
1:05:33 Matt McCusker? So you're addicted to powerful hero- heroines?
1:05:36 Speaker 02 No, not necessarily. They're just women writers.
1:05:38 Speaker 03 You're gonna love Wicked.
1:05:39 Speaker 02 I didn't want, I'm not watching Wicked, but did you see the dolls? They- they fucking put a bunch of dolls out for like Wicked, Barbie or whatever, and it said wicked.com on the back, and like that's OG porn shit. So all these people are trying to find the dolls, going to wicked.com.
1:05:56 Speaker 02 Only to see Jenna Jameson's huge tits.
1:06:00 Matt McCusker? That's wicked.
1:06:01 Speaker 02 That is. I, dude, we went on a-
1:06:03 Matt McCusker? Who's Jenna Jameson married to? Isn't she married to like a, an actor right now or something? I think she's like a-
1:06:09 Speaker 02 I'm not sure.
1:06:10 Matt McCusker? I was, I just, I got a requ- I got a guest request through my email and it was like, and his wife.
1:06:14 Speaker 02 We went to Florida when I was fucking fourteen, fifteen. Do you know the computers that used to be in the hotels? Like in the lobby?
1:06:21 Matt McCusker? Yes, the center?
1:06:23 Speaker 02 I would cry, we, me and my cousin went over to it, immediately went on Google Images, Jenna Jameson naked, and then some dude rolled down, we bounced. The hotel I stayed at, Williamsport, you missed out on that one.
1:06:33 Speaker 03 It was a heist, dude.
1:06:33 Speaker 02 They had a fucking computer in the lobby, but I was haunted as fuck, bro. Also, Gardini, that hotel we stayed at in St. Louis, haunted.
1:06:42 Speaker 02 I actually looked it up and there was like beds moving and shit.
1:06:45 Matt McCusker? Oh, really? What?
1:06:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:06:47 Matt McCusker? It was really haunted looking.
1:06:48 Speaker 02 It was fucking creepy as shit, dude. I was scared as F.
1:06:52 Matt McCusker? Really?
1:06:52 Speaker 03 The house I'm in now is-
1:06:54 Speaker 02 This one?
1:06:55 Speaker 03 No, the-
1:06:55 Matt McCusker? Your house is haunted up there?
1:06:56 Speaker 03 We're in Westchester.
1:06:57 Matt McCusker? Oh, yeah.
1:06:58 Speaker 03 It's not, though.
1:06:59 Matt McCusker? I think it is.
1:07:00 Speaker 03 There's nothing that's happened.
1:07:01 Speaker 02 You love the haunt, bro.
1:07:03 Speaker 03 He does.
1:07:04 Speaker 02 You live for the fucking haunt.
1:07:05 Speaker 03 You know, I love spooky stuff.
1:07:07 Speaker 02 Did you ever watch a documentary on Hulu?
1:07:09 Speaker 03 Which one?
1:07:09 Speaker 02 About the dude who had the fucking legit haunted house.
1:07:13 Matt McCusker? Really?
1:07:13 Speaker 02 He didn't have a haunted house.
1:07:14 Speaker 03 He was just torturing people.
1:07:16 Speaker 02 Torture people, but you would sign a waiver and he referred to it as the haunt.
1:07:19 Speaker 03 If you make it through this, I'll give you 10,000.
1:07:22 Speaker 02 He was just torturing people?
1:07:22 Speaker 03 People would get through it and be like, no.
1:07:24 Speaker 02 He would shave your one eyebrow, yeah. Bury you alive, shave your eyebrow off, pull your tooth out.
1:07:29 Matt McCusker? So he was haunting people?
1:07:30 Speaker 02 He was giving them the haunt.
1:07:31 Speaker 03 Literally just torturing people. It was basically like, do you want to live in the movie that Saul? He'd lock someone in his fucking house and beat the shit out of them and be like, yeah, you quit, pussy.
1:07:40 Speaker 02 They like literally bury them alive, like, oh, you're tapping, alright, don't get the 10 grand. They were just videotaping this and definitely jerking off.
1:07:47 Speaker 03 Soldier went through it, right?
1:07:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:07:48 Speaker 03 Didn't like a marine go through it and he made it the whole way and he was like, no, I'm not paying you.
1:07:53 Matt McCusker? It'd be nice to yank someone out of bed by their ankles.
1:07:56 Speaker 02 Dude, like he did this shit.
1:07:58 Matt McCusker? What?
1:07:58 Speaker 02 They just call it, they all called it the haunt.
1:08:01 Matt McCusker? Is it a documentary now?
1:08:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's amazing.
1:08:03 Speaker 03 It's very funny because the people that get tricked by it are also, they kind of have it coming.
1:08:07 Matt McCusker? Ghost heads are a little weird.
1:08:08 Speaker 03 They're ghost heads, they're on the internet, they go, holy shit, this is the scariest thing ever. It's literally just a weird guy beating the shit out of you.
1:08:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:08:15 Speaker 03 Like, this is so spooky.
1:08:18 Speaker 02 It is fucked up though. You're like fucking, well, try to pull your tooth out and shit.
1:08:23 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that's crazy too, to call like your loved ones, like it's going great, my fucking incisor got pulled out.
1:08:27 Speaker 03 You can't call. It's like the fucking, uh, Monroe's.
1:08:31 Speaker 02 It's like, I was literally gonna say that. It's pretty much like the haunted, like people who are into haunts, but for Monroe, same thing.
1:08:36 Matt McCusker? Yeah, you can't disrupt the haunt.
1:08:37 Speaker 02 Yeah. Came all the way here from fucking Germany.
1:08:41 Matt McCusker? I had a spooky dream last night.
1:08:43 Speaker 03 Oh no.
1:08:44 Matt McCusker? I was on a train, they're like, do you want to take the seat on the top? And I was on the seat above the train.
1:08:48 Speaker 03 Bangladesh?
1:08:50 Matt McCusker? And I was on the seat and it was like, it just turned out to be like a little swing and I was getting propelled on a train and my little tether kept going further and further. Eventually I started like swinging around power lines. I had to abandon.
1:09:00 Speaker 02 I feel like an astronaut.
1:09:02 Matt McCusker? It felt like a fucking astronaut. It's fucking sick.
1:09:04 Speaker 02 I had a dream of someone died in my house and I took too long to call the cops and I had to fucking discard of the body.
1:09:09 Matt McCusker? What?
1:09:10 Speaker 02 Yeah. What the fuck?
1:09:11 Speaker 03 We need to get you boys to the Monroe's too, with dreams like these.
1:09:14 Speaker 02 I know, we gotta go back.
1:09:15 Matt McCusker? It was, I was like.
1:09:16 Speaker 03 With dreams like these, who needs reality?
1:09:18 Matt McCusker? True that. True. I will say, I was like, I was up like probably like 60 feet, just holding on to like swing chains, being like, I could fall the fuck out of here. And I'd experienced that terror last night. I was like, that's fucked up. I got enough problems, dude. I was like, I don't need to be propelled to like seventy-five feet in the air. Wake up and like, oh, to a kid crying, like, fuck.
1:09:37 Speaker 03 Speaking of tumble, have we discussed Jay Leno's brewski tumble?
1:09:39 Matt McCusker? No, what happened to him?
1:09:40 Speaker 03 He took a late night brewski tumble.
1:09:41 Speaker 02 He said he was just gonna go eat.
1:09:43 Speaker 03 He's at a hotel, he hit a fucking, he's like, there's a restaurant down at the bottom of the hill.
1:09:46 Matt McCusker? His chin is the hotel, okay?
1:09:51 Matt McCusker? He just fucking damaged the floor.
1:09:53 Speaker 03 I'm, no, he went, he, I think he tried to walk outside of the hotel, down a hill to a restaurant.
1:09:58 Matt McCusker? Oh.
1:09:59 Speaker 03 Took a big time brewski tumble, his whole, he's two-faced, he's Harvey Dent now. The whole side of his body is fucking ruined.
1:10:05 Speaker 02 He took a geez tumble, that's not a brewski tumble, that's a geezer tumble.
1:10:09 Matt McCusker? A lot of geezer tumbles are brewski related, yeah.
1:10:13 Speaker 03 No, that is a brewski tumble.
1:10:14 Speaker 02 You said he was getting hurt before this?
1:10:15 Speaker 03 He's been getting fucking rocked, dude. His car exploded, his fucking house, Jay Leno's been getting beat the fuck up.
1:10:23 Speaker 02 What's that movie where the guy has to keep his adrenaline up high?
1:10:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, he's doing that.
1:10:27 Speaker 02 What is it? Yeah, crank, he's just in the next crank. He's like, I gotta. Get in a car accident.
1:10:33 Speaker 03 I'll get to that Applebee's. Oh, fuck.
1:10:36 Speaker 02 Crank's wild.
1:10:37 Matt McCusker? Seeing Jay Leno drunk would be kind of exciting, but seeing him fall would be like, ass so good.
1:10:43 Speaker 02 Far, he fell like.
1:10:44 Speaker 03 He fell like fifty feet.
1:10:46 Matt McCusker? What?
1:10:46 Speaker 02 He took the ultimate. It was like a princess ride, remember that dude falls in that?
1:10:49 Matt McCusker? Hold up, let me see this.
1:10:53 Matt McCusker? Oh, I see, I saw the face, I didn't know what the fuck it was.
1:10:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's a brewski tumble. And also, he's, he's taken so many brewski tumbles and car explosions that people are calling him gay.
1:11:01 Matt McCusker? Why? Why?
1:11:03 Speaker 03 Because he keeps getting beat up and people are like, obviously this is gay prostitutes.
1:11:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, this is the Illuminati at work.
1:11:08 Speaker 03 No, it's just brewski tumbles and people are like, this is the devil engaged.
1:11:12 Matt McCusker? Getting your ass kicked by a gay prostitute.
1:11:15 Speaker 02 I just watched a gay dude beat someone up on Twitter, it was crazy.
1:11:17 Speaker 03 Nice.
1:11:18 Speaker 02 Did you see, like, he stopped on the guy's head like this?
1:11:22 Matt McCusker? What?
1:11:23 Speaker 02 It was fucking crazy.
1:11:24 Matt McCusker? What was this?
1:11:24 Speaker 02 It was crazy, this gay dude just beat the shit out of some, his sister's boyfriend.
1:11:29 Matt McCusker? Damn.
1:11:30 Speaker 02 And he went over his head, the guy was talking, he's like, what'd you say?
1:11:33 Matt McCusker? Oh, no.
1:11:34 Speaker 02 And just like stepped back over him like this and just stood over him the whole time, it was fucking wild.
1:11:38 Matt McCusker? The gay guy beat his ass?
1:11:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, dude.
1:11:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:11:46 Matt McCusker? That sucks.
1:11:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, you gotta just fold it up after that and become like a pretty-
1:11:49 Speaker 04 That's when you pull it out, pause, the gun.
1:11:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, right.
1:11:54 Speaker 04 Or submit fully and pull it out.
1:11:56 Speaker 02 That's what I'm saying.
1:11:57 Speaker 04 I've been wearing a butt plug all day.
1:12:00 Matt McCusker? Fine, I'm yours now.
1:12:02 Speaker 03 You've defeated me in hand-to-hand combat. I am yours.
1:12:05 Matt McCusker? Will you have me?
1:12:09 Speaker 02 For what?
1:12:12 Speaker 03 Just, just when I thought I was out.
1:12:13 Speaker 02 Oh, okay.
1:12:14 Speaker 03 She pulls me right back in.
1:12:18 Speaker 02 She hates Bill Maher.
1:12:20 Matt McCusker? Who?
1:12:20 Speaker 02 Janet Jameson.
1:12:21 Speaker 03 Janet Jameson hates Bill Maher?
1:12:22 Speaker 02 Hates him.
1:12:23 Speaker 03 Who gives a fuck?
1:12:24 Speaker 02 Says he's a piece of shit.
1:12:25 Speaker 04 Why?
1:12:26 Speaker 02 Just said he's a fucking piece of shit.
1:12:27 Matt McCusker? Why?
1:12:28 Speaker 02 Known for the Playboy Mansion, Kid Love Productions. It's company's name.
1:12:33 Matt McCusker? That is a production, that is a company's name. I've heard that before.
1:12:36 Speaker 02 Is what it is.
1:12:37 Matt McCusker? Kid Love Productions, that's a fair question.
1:12:38 Speaker 02 What's Shannon Sharp's, um, podcast? Club Shasha.
1:12:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:12:42 Speaker 02 I was thinking Club Random, Club Shasha.
1:12:45 Matt McCusker? Yeah, two different fucking clubs, dude.
1:12:47 Speaker 02 Yeah. Did you see he had the Hawk Tua girl on?
1:12:50 Matt McCusker? I saw Bill, I saw Bill Maher.
1:12:51 Speaker 03 On, uh, Bill Maher?
1:12:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:12:53 Speaker 03 I, yeah.
1:12:54 Speaker 02 Also, there's another slap. The Tyson slap took over the fucking Will Smith slap.
1:12:58 Matt McCusker? Nah, dude, don't even, nowhere close, bro.
1:13:01 Speaker 03 No, Will Smith slap is way bigger.
1:13:03 Speaker 02 It was huge, but did you see that?
1:13:04 Matt McCusker? I saw it.
1:13:05 Speaker 03 I saw it. I don't know if it was fake or not.
1:13:07 Speaker 02 I don't know.
1:13:07 Speaker 03 I don't know if it was staged. You see he stepped on his foot?
1:13:09 Speaker 02 Yes.
1:13:10 Speaker 03 Could be real.
1:13:11 Speaker 02 You never know. Tyson hates Will. Dude, that was fucking confusing the shit out of me when the, that, the only like weird shit was when the announcer kept telling Roy Jones Jr., "Oh no, that's Mike Tyson's tic. He like bites his glove." And Roy Jones is like, "No, he doesn't."
1:13:23 Matt McCusker? Yeah, that was kinda weird.
1:13:24 Speaker 02 What the fuck are you talking about?
1:13:26 Matt McCusker? But he's always been doing that.
1:13:28 Speaker 03 What's it?
1:13:30 Speaker 02 He's always been his love.
1:13:32 Speaker 04 Always done that, yeah.
1:13:32 Matt McCusker? But not that much.
1:13:33 Speaker 04 His trainer taught him, Otto taught him how to do that, so he can keep his guard up. He's always done that a little bit.
1:13:39 Matt McCusker? Well, there you go.
1:13:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:13:40 Speaker 03 Who the fuck is Otto? Cus Amato?
1:13:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:13:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
1:13:42 Matt McCusker? Otto.
1:13:43 Speaker 03 Cus D'Amato?
1:13:44 Matt McCusker? I, my head was like, that must've been one of his later trainers. I was like, yeah.
1:13:47 Speaker 04 I said Otto.
1:13:48 Speaker 03 I mean, I corrected you and I was wrong, so now I need to go to Blueski.
1:13:54 Matt McCusker? Now we gotta all blow that guy.
1:13:56 Speaker 03 I was an incorrect know it all. That's where the blueskis. When you're an incorrect know it all, you head over to blueski.
1:14:03 Speaker 02 Take your pills and go on blueski.
1:14:05 Matt McCusker? Guys, think about it. Our cars run on fuel and they propel us forward for snacks.
1:14:08 Speaker 03 It's capitalism's fault.
1:14:09 Matt McCusker? It's capitalism.
1:14:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:14:11 Matt McCusker? He's making me buy all these snacks because I make so much money.
1:14:13 Speaker 03 At the heart of it, he's right that it is capitalism that's putting the chemicals in the food.
1:14:18 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:14:19 Speaker 03 So, you know what I mean? But he did it wrong.
1:14:22 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:14:22 Speaker 03 He was an incorrect know it all, but.
1:14:24 Speaker 02 They all are, bro. They had, they had, they thought they were gonna take over Sissins, Withers and all those boys. They were white dudes. They were the young white boys for Harris and they fucking folded like, we let women down. It's like dude, not every woman wants to suck a baby.
1:14:38 Matt McCusker? Dude, women got fucking completely sigh up into thinking that they were gonna be like shot in the head by a doctor during birth. Dude, they're for real. Like if I have a, there's, it's called a, um.
1:14:47 Speaker 02 I don't know why they throw black dudes in with deportation. Like they're gonna deport the immigrants and the blacks. It's like, why?
1:14:53 Matt McCusker? Yeah, no, that's.
1:14:54 Speaker 02 How are they getting roped into this? You guys got roped in on the fucking gay pride flag and I'm sorry about that.
1:14:59 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:14:59 Speaker 02 That's a tough L.
1:15:01 Speaker 05 Wait, are we on the flag?
1:15:02 Speaker 02 Yeah. You're right next to the trannies on the gay pride flag.
1:15:05 Matt McCusker? Cause there's two stripes in the flag now.
1:15:07 Speaker 02 Black and brown, bro.
1:15:08 Speaker 05 We should be spazzing. That's like.
1:15:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, you let it happen.
1:15:11 Speaker 05 Alright, I'm leading the charge on that.
1:15:12 Speaker 03 Although that gay dude's this. The gay dude that beat that guy up put you guys.
1:15:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:15:16 Speaker 03 That stripes on the flag.
1:15:17 Speaker 05 He belongs on there.
1:15:18 Speaker 03 Yeah, he rocks. That guy rules.
1:15:20 Speaker 05 He's the strongest person on the flag.
1:15:23 Speaker 02 That happened during COVID.
1:15:25 Speaker 05 What, that fight?
1:15:25 Speaker 02 No, no, no. You guys got put on the flag during COVID.
1:15:29 Matt McCusker? They did.
1:15:30 Speaker 03 Congress passed it at midnight. No one was paying attention.
1:15:33 Speaker 05 I don't think they let us know that. I think everybody else knows that. I don't think black people know we're on the.
1:15:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, if you go on the gayhood in Philly, it's on the street signs.
1:15:40 Speaker 05 I thought that was like for, you said brown blood?
1:15:43 Speaker 02 No, brown and black.
1:15:44 Speaker 05 Oh. I thought you said brown blood. I thought it was like a blood shit asshole thing.
1:15:49 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:15:49 Speaker 02 White guys aren't on it.
1:15:51 Speaker 05 What was gay sex though?
1:15:52 Matt McCusker? Damn, he's sick to be a gay racist and just rip off the tan.
1:15:58 Matt McCusker? No.
1:16:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, right.
1:16:02 Speaker 02 Not getting.
1:16:03 Matt McCusker? But yeah, dude, they tricked women into thinking that like if you it's an ectopic pregnancies when you get an egg in the fallopian tubes and like dude, there was a lot of like, a lot of like Brittany's friends were like, be careful down there. And like, we looked it up and it's like, none of it's true.
1:16:15 Speaker 02 Obviously.
1:16:15 Matt McCusker? So like, if you're dying, the doctor won't save you. It's like, not true. None of it's true.
1:16:19 Speaker 04 You aren't gonna get a bonus this year if you get pregnant. All your dreams won't come true.
1:16:25 Matt McCusker? No, for real, it was like, you're gonna die.
1:16:28 Speaker 02 You're a nasty little fucker.
1:16:29 Matt McCusker? If you have a miscarriage, you're like, if you have a miscarriage, they're not.
1:16:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's gonna have to just stay in your pussy until it rots away.
1:16:34 Matt McCusker? And rot. It's like, I was like, that can't be true. And I looked it up. I was like, no, none of it's true. Even in like Texas.
1:16:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, all the, all those soy boys were like, we've, we've let women down today. My daughter, it's like, dude, why are you so worried about your daughter getting fucking pregnant?
1:16:47 Speaker 04 My wife's gonna get fucking killed during a C-section. No.
1:16:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, her marriage is blue no matter who, bro. He doesn't care what they're talking about.
1:16:54 Speaker 03 Did you feel like we let women down though, honestly?
1:16:57 Speaker 04 No.
1:16:57 Speaker 03 Really? So what were you crying about?
1:17:00 Speaker 04 Twenty twenty five, though. I do.
1:17:02 Speaker 02 That's all bullshit and has nothing to do with Trump.
1:17:04 Speaker 04 I don't, brother, they already took the porn before it even started. So I don't think it's all bullshit.
1:17:09 Speaker 03 That was a Democrat.
1:17:11 Speaker 04 No, it wasn't.
1:17:12 Speaker 03 Abbott's Republican?
1:17:13 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:17:13 Speaker 03 Oh, my bad. Take it back, take it back.
1:17:15 Matt McCusker? But, but dude.
1:17:16 Speaker 02 You should.
1:17:17 Matt McCusker? There needs, here's the thing.
1:17:17 Speaker 03 I need to go to Blueski.
1:17:18 Matt McCusker? There, there should be some sort of guardrail, although you can't go on any porn site, really. You just can't go on Pornhub.
1:17:23 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, that is the Republicans taking our porn. That's fucking weird.
1:17:25 Matt McCusker? I think it's good. Why should kids, if you can't go ahead and buy alcohol, why can you, a kid just go look at fucking porn on the internet? There should be some stop measure against it.
1:17:33 Speaker 03 Yeah, you go, are you eighteen? Yes or no? Yes.
1:17:37 Speaker 02 Of course.
1:17:39 Speaker 03 The honest porn kids are gonna do the right thing.
1:17:41 Matt McCusker? Yeah.
1:17:43 Matt McCusker? I like it. I like the blocks.
1:17:45 Speaker 02 It's good.
1:17:45 Speaker 03 I mean, it is kinda convenient when you're sitting down to do something nasty and you go, what about Governor Abbott? You're right.
1:17:52 Speaker 02 When I hit no faps, dude, like you don't jerk off, it's a lot of time you save.
1:17:56 Matt McCusker? True, you can get right around it. That's, don't get me wrong, but yeah, I'm not totally against it.
1:18:01 Speaker 02 Think about the twenty minute sessions you hit every now and then where you got a little sweat hitting the phone. You're like, what am I doing?
1:18:05 Matt McCusker? Yeah, dude.
1:18:06 Speaker 02 Just come.
1:18:08 Speaker 03 Sweats hitting the phone when you're jacking off? You sweat jacking off?
1:18:12 Speaker 02 Furiously.
1:18:13 Speaker 03 No.
1:18:14 Speaker 02 No, not actually.
1:18:14 Matt McCusker? I sweat under my balls big, pretty badly.
1:18:17 Speaker 03 Under your, your tank gets sweaty when you jack off?
1:18:19 Matt McCusker? Yeah, my tank gets so sweaty. I woke up with vicious sweat underneath my balls.
1:18:22 Speaker 03 Really?
1:18:22 Matt McCusker? Then I get done, that's part of it.
1:18:24 Speaker 02 How hard are you guys jacking off?
1:18:25 Speaker 03 Ever sweat, what's jacking off?
1:18:28 Matt McCusker? Dude, I have like the sweatiest tank.
1:18:29 Speaker 02 You jacking off like a fucking Greek Emperor?
1:18:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:18:33 Speaker 02 Just comes on a leaf?
1:18:35 Speaker 03 Absolutely. I'm literally doing exactly that. Probably in that seat before.
1:18:39 Speaker 02 I'm on the toilet.
1:18:41 Matt McCusker? I get up.
1:18:41 Speaker 02 I'm in the fucking, I'm in the driver's seat, brother.
1:18:47 Speaker 02 Clean bowl of water underneath me.
1:18:48 Speaker 03 You're fighting something, dude. You're fighting something if you're sweating, jacking off to that stuff.
1:18:52 Matt McCusker? It's what it is.
1:18:53 Speaker 03 There's a battle going on.
1:18:54 Matt McCusker? Battle, battle for the final.
1:18:56 Speaker 02 I wish I could search something else, but I.
1:18:58 Matt McCusker? Nah, I would never do.
1:19:01 Matt McCusker? It's the battle for the ultimate vid. You're going, this one's alright, but there's a better one out there.
1:19:04 Speaker 03 There's something else.
1:19:06 Matt McCusker? Ah, fuck, I'm so fucking hard.
1:19:08 Speaker 03 How do you guys feel about this sweat versus not sweating, jack off thing?
1:19:12 Matt McCusker? I'm trying to think of the posture, like, how are you getting it on your phone?
1:19:16 Speaker 03 Cause he jacks off on the toilet and then he turns around and comes on.
1:19:19 Matt McCusker? Obviously, obviously you're finishing with yourself suck.
1:19:24 Speaker 02 I'm institutionalized, bro. It's just where I beat off my whole life.
1:19:27 Speaker 03 For real though, jacking off on the toilet is a blueski.
1:19:29 Speaker 02 No, it's not.
1:19:30 Speaker 03 That's what it's called.
1:19:31 Speaker 02 What?
1:19:32 Speaker 03 Jacking off on the toilet is called a blueski.
1:19:34 Speaker 02 Don't do that.
1:19:35 Speaker 03 You do blueskis.
1:19:36 Speaker 02 That's alpha.
1:19:37 Speaker 03 It's kinda jizzing on your shit.
1:19:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:19:40 Matt McCusker? It's prison shit.
1:19:41 Speaker 02 It's always flush, bro.
1:19:43 Speaker 03 Jizzing off, dude.
1:19:44 Speaker 02 I'd feel so bad to jizz on my own shit.
1:19:47 Matt McCusker? I've, I've, I've jade on it too.
1:19:49 Speaker 03 You've jade on it too?
1:19:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, aiming right at the toilet.
1:19:52 Matt McCusker? Cause it's like, I don't wanna, I'm like leaving it there, cause then I wanna like.
1:19:54 Speaker 03 You're trying to preserve some water.
1:19:55 Matt McCusker? I don't wanna alert the jerk off police if I flush once. It's like.
1:20:01 Matt McCusker? So it's like, let me get.
1:20:02 Speaker 03 That's two stars.
1:20:04 Speaker 02 That's what I'm saying. This, this is like institutionalized shit where it's like, you can't flush twice in the bathroom. So you gotta take a shit and jerk off the whole time.
1:20:11 Speaker 03 You guys had a wild fucking childhood.
1:20:12 Speaker 02 I mean dude, people bang on the fucking toilet.
1:20:14 Speaker 03 Dude flushes the jail.
1:20:15 Speaker 02 Force is strong.
1:20:16 Speaker 03 The JLP is on you.
1:20:18 Speaker 02 They'll get your ass, dude.
1:20:20 Matt McCusker? You have one half of the population watching the other dude.
1:20:22 Speaker 02 Door bang, like, what are you doing in there? Nothing.
1:20:25 Matt McCusker? I was talking about my wife, but yeah.
1:20:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know, yeah. But then you were institutionalized.
1:20:28 Matt McCusker? I was Metal Gear Solid, yeah, before that, yeah. I was, I was Solid Snake before that.
1:20:33 Speaker 03 Guys, we're dropping.
1:20:36 Speaker 03 Ew.
1:20:37 Matt McCusker? Yeah, the worst is to clean up in a toilet. You gotta be careful because like one flush doesn't take everything down.
1:20:42 Speaker 03 They'll hang on the fucking side of the bowl.
1:20:44 Matt McCusker? Clean around the edges.
1:20:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:20:46 Matt McCusker? Yeah, it's the last thing you want to question like, what the fuck's going on with the toilet? Be like, huh? Huh? You gotta check the perimeter. You might miss and hit the sides.
1:20:54 Speaker 03 This is a whole thing.
1:20:55 Matt McCusker? It's a big thing, dude.
1:20:58 Matt McCusker? It's a ma- it's a major operation.
1:21:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:21:02 Matt McCusker? It's a major operation. I mean-
1:21:03 Speaker 03 You had your own room your whole life. Yeah.
1:21:05 Speaker 02 Could never do it.
1:21:06 Matt McCusker? True.
1:21:08 Speaker 02 Being in my room would be devilish.
1:21:11 Matt McCusker? That would be crazy. I just read a book about a guy in prison. He was saying that they used a sock that they would flip inside out. So it was like the outer part of the sock, but you would flip that inwards. It was like softer. And he said like an old school, like an OG dude had been locked up there for a long time. It was like you roll the socks together. You hit like the soft part of the sock and right before you come, you just jack up the base or not the base, like underneath the helmet.
1:21:32 Speaker 03 What fucking erotic fiction was this?
1:21:34 Matt McCusker? It was just this guy telling, he was like, the guy like put me on a game.
1:21:36 Speaker 03 Did my mom give you this?
1:21:39 Matt McCusker? Said an older inmate schooled him. I was like, dude, if you want to come really hard, just-
1:21:42 Speaker 03 Jack off in the sock?
1:21:43 Matt McCusker? But then you have to like press the top. He goes, dude, it's a knee buckler every time.
1:21:49 Matt McCusker? It was such a weird-
1:21:49 Speaker 02 I just watched Sixty Days In and everyone in jail was just dumb as shit.
1:21:54 Speaker 02 It's all just a bunch of dumbass dudes. I think we tricked him this time. Let's smoke weed. The guards come and check the cell. Like we fooled them. It's like they definitely just don't want to do their work tonight.
1:22:03 Speaker 03 You're just back in eighth grade.
1:22:04 Speaker 02 I know, that's what I'm saying.
1:22:05 Speaker 03 You're back in eighth grade.
1:22:06 Speaker 02 Every single one, Sixty Days In is a crazy show. I love it.
1:22:09 Matt McCusker? It is good. Do you ever think about what, how you'd be in there?
1:22:12 Speaker 02 I would never, dude. Fuck jail.
1:22:14 Matt McCusker? Really?
1:22:14 Speaker 02 I would hate to be. I went to the Monroe-
1:22:16 Matt McCusker? What if you're a political prisoner?
1:22:17 Speaker 03 You'd have to go to the gun shop and go to the bathroom.
1:22:18 Speaker 02 I went to the Monroe Institute.
1:22:19 Matt McCusker? No, but what if you're like a political prisoner? What if you like, what if the Dems won and then like you had to take back what was yours?
1:22:24 Speaker 02 Oh, I thought about that before. I would take the L. I would immediately turn on Road to Moscow, put the AirPods in, just wait for the fucking bus to pick me up.
1:22:33 Speaker 03 Crossed over the border.
1:22:37 Speaker 03 Uh, yeah.
1:22:38 Speaker 02 General Flynn.
1:22:40 Speaker 03 I think we've done it.
1:22:40 Matt McCusker? We did it. Stretch my knee out here.
1:22:43 Speaker 03 I think we've done it.
1:22:44 Matt McCusker? Think we done did it.
1:22:45 Speaker 02 Bill. Same shoe.
1:22:46 Speaker 03 Same shoe.
1:22:48 Speaker 02 What does that say on there?
1:22:50 Speaker 03 It's bluesky.
1:22:51 Speaker 02 For real?
1:22:52 Speaker 03 It's drusky.
1:22:53 Speaker 02 Actually?
1:22:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:22:56 Speaker 02 Is he blue?
1:22:57 Speaker 03 He's bluesky. Drusky's bluesky.
1:22:59 Speaker 02 That's crazy.
1:23:00 Speaker 03 Uh, alright.
1:23:02 Matt McCusker? Thank you, guys.
1:23:03 Speaker 03 God bless you, guys.
Previous Ep 530 - Novak's House (feat. Brandon Novak) Next Ep 532 - Dark Queen & Cuck King (feat. Adrienne Iapalucci) Page updated November 6, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated