2622: What If It Works?

LifeBlood: Is getting what you want actually what you really want? We often imagine the moment of success without thinking about the life that comes after it. We picture the promotion, the business, the relationship, the money, or the new lifestyle, but we stop the movie too soon. This episode explores the value of future pacing, thinking slowly, and taking your goals to their logical conclusion. Want to say “Thanks!” You can buy us a cup of coffee. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lifeblood George’s newest book is available! Get your copy of You’re Money Isn’t the Problem- You Are here: https://amzn.to/4uDYFRz Feeling busy but unfulfilled? The Meaningful Few helps you identify what truly matters, eliminate distractions, and live with intention and clarity. Learn more here: https://www.mymeaningfulfew.com/ Thanks, as always for listening! If you got some value and enjoyed the show, please leave us a review here: ​​https://ratethispodcast.com/lifebloodpodcast You can learn more about us at LifeBlood. Live http://lifeblood.live/, Twitter https://twitter.com/ourlifeblood, LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/lifebloodlive, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lifeblood.live/, YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNQ9Gc4mMwCHZKUHjbt0-qA and Facebook https://www.facebook.com/lifebloodlive or you’d like to be a guest on the show, contact us at contact@LifeBlood. Live. Stay up to date by getting our monthly updates https://george-grombacher.aweb.page. Copyright LifeBlood 2026.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:45Speaker 01

  Is getting what you want what you really, really want? Is getting what you want what you really, really want? Stupid question? Simple question? Obvious question? I don't think that it is. I think a lot of us spend time thinking about what it is that we want. And what would I like to have? What, what do I want? What do I want my life to be like? I guess I'd like a better job, like more money, maybe a bigger business, different relationships, more freedom, bigger house, different kind of lifestyle. But we spend far less time asking what happens after we get it, if we actually get it.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  We imagine the moment of achievement. We picture the cap and the gown and the graduation. We picture getting that email saying we got the promotion, the wedding, the launch of the business, cashing that check, a new title. We often stop the movie a little too early. We see the moment of victory, but we don't watch the next 10 years after. And that, brothers and sisters, is where we find ourselves in a little bit of trouble. We find ourselves in a pickle sometimes, not always, certainly not always. But sometimes, because something could feel pretty good in theory and then feel completely

• 2:12Speaker 01

  different when the rubber meets the road. Practice. Theory and practice, really, really, really different things. So, something can be really attractive from a distance and really exhausting and soul-crushing and energy-draining when you're actually doing it, when you're actually up close living it. And that thing that you wanted, it could give you exactly what you ask for, but still leave you wondering, why in the world did I think that this was going to be a good idea? Why, why would I want this? Why would I have asked for this in the first place? This is not at all what I want my life to be like.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  So today, I want to talk a little bit about this cool concept called future pacing. Talk about taking the thing that you want, taking your desire to its logical conclusion. Because I get wanting something. I get wanting a different job. I get wanting to become an entrepreneur. But let's say you do. Let's take it all the way to its logical conclusion, past the ribbon-cutting to the really long days. The liability, the responsibility, the hidden costs, the employee issues, just, it's a

• 3:35Speaker 01

  laundry list, a long, long list of stuff that maybe we didn't think all the way through. So I want to talk about putting you, putting yourself in the shoes of the person that you think that you want to become, and then ask, if everything goes perfect, if it all just goes exactly the way that we drew it up, is this the life that I really want? We're really good at thinking fast. Daniel Kahneman wrote that book, Thinking Fast and Slow. The fast part of our brain is our knee-jerk response. The slow part of our brain is our logical and reasoning, the center of our brain that takes things through to its logical conclusion.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  So we respond emotionally, we react to whatever is in front of us, we notice what other people have, we imagine how something's going to make us feel, which isn't bad. Emotion is a really wonderful thing. Feelings are one of the key features of what makes human beings, human beings, and the highs and the lows, and the goods and the bads, all that stuff. And desire, well, that motivates me, that gives me energy. Ambition gets me off the couch, gets me moving. But emotion, while it has many wonderful attributes and characteristics, it's not good at forecasting. Because we are often drawn to the symbol of something without fully understanding

• 4:59Speaker 01

  the complete substance of that thing. So we want the title without considering the responsibilities. We want the income without thinking about the hours. We want that house without thinking about all the maintenance that's going to go along with it. I want the freedom of entrepreneurship without considering the weight of uncertainty. We want the family without considering the sacrifice. Or we want to avoid the sacrifice without considering the future cost of that decision. So, thinking fast asks, what do I want right now? Thinking slow asks a different question, which is, what does this decision eventually become?

• 5:42Speaker 01

  And they're both valid, good questions, but the second one matters, maybe just a little bit more, because your life is not going to be built solely from big, dramatic decisions. It's going to be built and lived from the ordinary days following by and created by those decisions. So we're not just choosing a goal, we're choosing the daily reality that comes with that goal. I bet you know an attorney. And do you know a happy attorney? Do you know unhappy attorneys? And you can map this on any kind of a career, but just imagine, there's a college freshman who decides that they want to become an attorney.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Maybe they love watching shows about attorneys, they've watched every episode of Law & Order, they're big fans of Harvey Specter, they admire attorneys, there's prestige, maybe their parents thought it was going to be a good idea, maybe they can think that they can make a lot of money. So they begin taking all of the required coursework, they sign up for, they study for the LSAT, they apply to law school, they borrow a significant amount of money to pay for that law school, they spend three more years there, they study for, they pass the bar, they get hired by a firm, and then, the other shoe drops, they discover they don't like being a lawyer.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  They dislike the conflict, they don't like the hours, they dislike the paperwork, they don't like the pressure, they dislike the way the profession actually feels on a Tuesday afternoon. The original idea sounded pretty good, lived experience hits a little different. So, does not mean that becoming a lawyer is a bad decision. By all means, go do that. But means that the person may have fallen in love with the idea of being a lawyer without understanding the reality of practicing law. They pictured the courtroom, they did not picture the document review and everything else, they pictured the title, they did not picture the billable hour requirement, they

• 7:51Speaker 01

  pictured the outcome, they did not sufficiently examine the daily stuff that goes along with it. And that is the difference between theory and practice. And then let's map this somewhere else, take it somewhere else. Think about somebody in their 20s or 30s who says, you know what? I don't want to get married, I don't want a spouse, marriage is an antiquated, you know, thing, it's stupid, why would I ever do that? Why would I bring the church and state into the situation? I don't want kids, I want freedom. And that might be the perfect choice for them. But it also just might be a reaction to the present. Maybe relationships, they feel inconvenient, and maybe kids seem expensive and frankly

• 8:36Speaker 01

  awful. And maybe independence feels a lot more attractive than being responsible to everything that goes along with the family. So, let's take this to its logical conclusion. You're now 50, maybe 60, your career is going great, you got money, you got freedom, you can travel wherever and whenever you want, but the holidays feel different. Parents may be gone, your friends are occupied with their families, your house is pretty quiet, there's no spouse, there's no kids.

• 9:06Speaker 02

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• 9:35Speaker 03

  Football Sundays are at my house this year, so I've been making a Total Wine & More run before every kickoff. Cold beer for the group is a given, but this time of year, I like to bring in some fall flavors, a bottle of maple whiskey, and a salted caramel whiskey that even my friends who don't drink whiskey end up trying. I get everything I need at the lowest prices at Total Wine. Discover your new favorite fall flavors at Total Wine & More. Spirits are not sold in Virginia and North Carolina. Drink responsibly, must be 21.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  May eventually be no grandkids. Is that what you want? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not putting my values on you, I'm not interested in that, I'm interested in you putting your values on you and taking what it is that you want, or what you think you want, to its logical conclusion. See if your plan's going to survive its collision with reality, let's just do it as a thought exercise, not waiting to see. So there's not a universally correct answer here. My point is not everybody should get married or have kids or not. Point is that you should make the decision with your future version of yourself in the room, not just you right now.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  Don't decide only from your perspective as whatever age you are. Ask your 50-year-old self, ask your 70-year-old self, ask them what they think. Because the things that feel like a burden today may become the things that are of the greatest value tomorrow. And the freedom that you cherish right now may eventually feel a lot like isolation.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Let's keep this going. Imagine you're a financial advisor and you decide that you want to start working with veterinarians. On paper, it sounds great. They're educated professionals veterinarians. They often make a lot of money. Many are business owners. They own their own practices. They may need help with student loans and business planning, retirement planning, insurance, and investments. Sounds like a pretty good market. So the advisor pushes their chips in. They build their brand. They attend veterinary conferences. They create veterinary specific content. They develop referral relationships and it works. It works. They're spending a ton of time in veterinary offices.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  And they find themselves around a lot of sick dogs and cats. They find themselves around a lot of really anxious freaked out pet owners. So they deal with the unique stress and emotional demands of that profession. And they realize, I don't really like this environment. The strategy, it worked perfectly. The advisor got what they said that they wanted and what they asked for. And that became exactly the problem. So in choosing a market, a career, or business model, it's not enough to ask, can this work? You should also ask, do I want to live inside of it when it does work? A lot of our desires, you can think about our proxies.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  We say we want more money, but what we really want is more security, more freedom, more status, sense of relief, respect, or control. We say we want a promotion, but perhaps what we really want is recognition. We say we want to be the owner of a large company, but perhaps what we really want is some form of significance. Say we want to retire, but perhaps what we really want are fewer obligations and greater time control. We tell people ourselves even we want a bigger house, but perhaps we just want to feel more successful. So the problem with chasing the proxy is that you may achieve the stated goal without receiving the deeper benefit that you really expected. You may make more money and still feel insecure.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  You may receive the title and still feel unimportant. You may retire and still be really, really bored out of your mind. You might buy that house and discover you really don't like doing the upkeep. So before pursuing a goal, ask, what do I believe that this is going to give me? And then ask, is this the only way to get it? Finally, will it actually give me what it is that I truly want? So when people imagine the future, they often imagine extraordinary moments. But that's not where life happens. Life happens in the day to day, the ordinary moments, the ordinary days.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  So instead of asking only what your future achievement looks like, ask what your average Tuesday looks like. Time do you wake up? Where do you live? Who's there with you? What work are you doing? Who are you talking to and spending time with? How much time is in a meeting? How much time is travel? What problems are you responsible for? What are people expecting from you? How exhausted or tired are you at the end of the day? What are you no longer able to do? What are you repeatedly required to do? This is where many goals get a lot clearer. A person may want to become a senior executive until they imagine the meetings, the travel, the personnel issues, the pressure, and the constant availability that's required.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  A person may want a second home until they imagine paying for it, maintaining it, furnishing it, securing it, feeling obligated to go there. Somebody may want a large social media following until they imagine the constant demand to produce, respond, perform, and stay visible. Somebody may want to open a restaurant because they love food, only to discover that owning a restaurant is a lot less about enjoying meals, more about staffing and inventory and margins and equipment and complaints and blah, blah, blah. So don't simply visualize the trophy. Think about the job of maintaining and holding on to that trophy. So when you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to all others, or at least a lot of others.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  When you choose a career, you're choosing how you're going to spend so much of your time and energy and attention. When you choose a spouse, you're choosing a family system, a set of responsibilities, and a shared future. When you choose a city, you're choosing its climate, culture, opportunities, traffic, taxes, pace of life. When you choose to build a large business, you may be choosing management over craftsmanship. When you choose to remain small, you may be choosing control over scale. When you choose maximum income, you may be choosing less time. When you choose maximum flexibility, you may be choosing less predictability. There's no solutions. There are only trade offs. The grown up question is not, how do I get everything that I want?

• 16:05Speaker 01

  The grown up question is, which trade offs am I willing to live with? Here's a simple exercise. Choose something that you believe you want. Career, relationship, financial goal, a business, a move, a lifestyle. Then imagine everything works perfectly. Not halfway, not partially perfectly. You become the lawyer. You grow the company. You buy the house. You become famous. You retire early. You stay single. You move across the country. You build that personal brand. You become the leader. Now move five years past the actual achievement of the thing. What does life look like? What do you do every day? What responsibilities have appeared? What pressure is accompanying all of that? What opportunities have gone away?

• 16:49Speaker 01

  Who have you become? And what has that decision cost? What does maintaining it require? Then ask, is that still what I want? That question can save you years. One of the best ways to test the desires is to talk with people who are already experiencing the outcome. Do not only ask the person who's selling the dream. Talk with the person who's living the daily reality. Ask the attorney what their week actually looks like. Ask the business owner what keeps them awake at night. Ask the retired people what surprised them. Ask the parent what they gave up and what they got. Ask the executive what the title truly costs.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Ask the person with the large house, how much time and money it requires. Ask the influencer who feels constantly live in public. Ask the advisor who specializes in vets, what it's actually like to serve that market. Then not only ask, would you do it again? Ask, what did you misunderstand before you started? What part of this life is invisible from the outside? What kind of person thrives here? What kind of person struggles? What does the average day feel like? Goal is not to make somebody else make the decision for you. The goal is to replace fantasy with information. And if it's possible, test the future in a smaller way. Shadow somebody. Do an internship.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Volunteer. Rent before you buy. Work in the industry before starting the company. Spend time with kids before deciding what family life means to you. Not in a creepy way. Maybe like your brother's kids or something. Visit the city for several weeks before moving there. Serve a few clients in the niche before you build your entire career and brand around it. Take on a leadership role before chasing the permanent title or run a small experiment. Reality is an excellent teacher and that short experience can expose assumptions that years of thinking simply will not.

• 18:51Speaker 00

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• 19:22Speaker 03

  Football Sundays are at my house this year, so I've been making a Total Wine & More run before every kickoff. Cold beer for the group is a given, but this time of year I like to bring in some fall flavors. A bottle of maple whiskey and a salted caramel whiskey that even my friends who don't drink whiskey end up trying. I get everything I need at the lowest prices at Total Wine. Discover your new favorite fall flavors at Total Wine & More. Spirits are not sold in Virginia and North Carolina. Drink responsibly. Must be 21.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  A useful test is to ask whether you want the work, not merely the reward. Do you want to write a book? Or do you want to have written a book? Do you want to own a business? Or do you want the identity of being an entrepreneur? Do you want to be physically fit? Or do you want the appearance of fitness without the training, sleep, and nutrition? Do you want a strong marriage? Or do you want the comfort of companionship without the work of communication, compromise, forgiveness, and commitment? Do you want wealth? Or do you want to spend like a wealthy person? Do you want influence? Or do you just want attention? The reward is a moment. The work, that's life. So it's prudent to choose goals where you can respect the process required to reach and sustain them.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  You do not need to love every part of it, but you should be willing to live the life the work creates. And I think that this is where getting a really clear grasp of what you're meaningful few, it's so important because before deciding what you really want, it's important to know what matters. What matters most to you from a family perspective, from a network or community perspective, for your finances and your work, for your well-being, your personal development, and peace of mind? And then how do you want to allocate your MVRs, your most valuable resources, time, energy, attention, and money? Because a goal may be attractive and still incompatible with what matters most.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  So a larger business may generate more income while taking you away from family. And that promotion may bring you status while driving you into the ground. A lower paying career may provide more meaning and greater peace of mind. Certain relationship may reduce loneliness while creating chaos. Financial decision may look inefficient, but support the life you most want to live. So the right goal is not always the biggest one. It's the one that's aligned with your values, your responsibilities, and how you really want to live. You know that Nippon is saying the only way to live how you want is to know how you want to live? That's really what I'm getting at. So before committing to a major path, ask yourself, what do I think that I want?

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Why do I want it? What do I believe it's going to give me? And what does the ordinary day look like? What does an ordinary everyday day look like if it works? What responsibilities are going to come with it? What will I need to give up? What will it take to maintain this thing? Who do I need to be or become? And does that person live in a way that I like and respect? Does this support what I just said are the most important things that really matter? And is there a smaller way to test it? Finally, if everything works perfectly, do I want the life that follows? You may get what you want. That is worth remembering. The business may succeed. Your relationship may happen.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  The promotion may come. The move may work out. Your audience may grow. The money might show up. So don't only prepare for failure, prepare for success. Think beyond achievement. Think beyond the applause and the fanfare. Think beyond the moment when you finally get what you asked for. Follow the decision into the future. Follow it into the ordinary day to day. Follow it into the trade offs, the responsibilities, routines, and consequences, and then decide. Because getting what you want is not always the same as building a life that you want. It'd be a terrible thing to spend years climbing a ladder only to discover that it was leaning against the wrong wall. So take your time. Think slowly. Future pace.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Put yourself in the shoes of the person that you want to become and ask yourself, is getting what I want, what I really, really want? Do your part by doing your best.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Football Sundays are at my house this year, so I've been making a Total Wine & More run before every kickoff. Cold beer for the group is a given, but this time of year I like to bring in some fall flavors. A bottle of maple whiskey and a salted caramel whiskey that even my friends who don't drink whiskey end up trying. I get everything I need at the lowest prices at Total Wine. Discover your new favorite fall flavors at Total Wine & More. Spirits are not sold in Virginia and North Carolina. Drink responsibly. Must be 21.

• 24:08Speaker 04

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