2613: Conscious Caring with Dr. Tony Nader

LifeBlood: We talked about the concept of conscious caring versus reflexive or obligation-based caring, the physiological and psychological benefits of caring, the importance of balancing self-care with care for others, and the impact of modern information overload on individuals' capacity to care, with Tony Nader, MD, PhD, Medical doctor, global expert on Consciousness, NYT best selling author, Consciousness Is All There Is, Podcast, CEO Transcendental Meditation, President of Maharishi International University. Listen to learn whether the universe cares, or not! You can learn more about Tony at DrTonyNader.com https://drtonynader.com/, YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@DrTonyNader, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drtonynader/?hl=en, Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrTonyNader/, and LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/drtonynader/. Get your copy of The Power of Caring here: https://amzn.to/4hfZzQi Want to say “Thanks!” You can buy us a cup of coffee. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lifeblood George’s newest book is available! Get your copy of The Meaningful Few here: https://amzn.to/4qA26X9 Feeling busy but unfulfilled? The Meaningful Few helps you identify what truly matters, eliminate distractions, and live with intention and clarity. Learn more here: https://www.mymeaningfulfew.com/ Thanks, as always for listening! If you got some value and enjoyed the show, please leave us a review here: ​​https://ratethispodcast.com/lifebloodpodcast You can learn more about us at LifeBlood. Live http://lifeblood.live/, Twitter https://twitter.com/ourlifeblood, LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/lifebloodlive, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lifeblood.live/, YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNQ9Gc4mMwCHZKUHjbt0-qA and Facebook https://www.facebook.com/lifebloodlive or you’d like to be a guest on the show, contact us at contact@LifeBlood. Live. Stay up to date by getting our monthly updates https://george-grombacher.aweb.page. Copyright LifeBlood 2026.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:45Speaker 01

  Dr. Tony Nader brings a rare combination of scientific credibility and practical wisdom. He earned his M.D. from the American University of Beirut, completed clinical training at Harvard Medical School, and Mass General, and received his Ph.D. in Brain and Cognitive Sciences from MIT. He's the Global Leader of the Transcendental Meditation Organizations, President of Maharishi International University, the author of the New York Times bestselling Consciousness is All There Is. His newest book is The Power of Caring: Who Cares Why It Matters and How Conscious Caring Creates a Fulfilling and Connected Life. Welcome back to the show, Tony.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Wonderful to be back with you, George. That's great.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's great to see you again. Refresh our memories. Tell us a little bit about your personal life, some more about your work, and why you do what you do.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  You said what I am right in terms of education. Now I am in the Transcendental Meditation Program. We have centers and clinics and different activities in more than 150 countries. We teach healthy living, alternative medicine, but in support of, of course, modern approaches when it's needed, diagnostics, et cetera, mainly prevention oriented. And my interest is in consciousness and its application, basically to make life better in every way possible and available to us.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Which is a beautiful thing. So the new book is about caring. And the universe is conspiring to bring us together. And I, in researching the new book, it's such an interesting timing because I was just personally thinking about caring and what that really means. And now here we are. You're obviously thinking about it a lot lately, too. Or is it something that's always on your mind? Why write a book about caring now?

• 2:47Speaker 02

  It has always been on my mind because caring has many dimensions. Of course, you know, when we say I care about something or I care to do something, it's really the intention to do something that comes from within. And then we do it. And but there is some things we, there are things we care about that are reflexly there, automated. You know, we care about breathing. We care about eating. We care about being happy. We care about, you know, what maintains us, what allows us to grow. And, you know, this are wired within us already as human beings to care for things already automatically, autonomically, you know.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  And this is available also in the whole animal kingdom and species. We see, you know, mother duck caring for the baby ducks and caring, you know, they are protecting themselves. Things protect themselves, so they care. And that is something very instinctive. And we know that when people care, actually, there are reinforcing factors that happen. For example, you get dopamine release that reinforces the desire to care. It gives you more pleasure. You get oxytocin release, which is a bonding hormone. You have different changes in the parasympathetic nervous system.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  So caring is built in and it's, it has a very powerful evolutionary factor. But when we're stressed and strained, that level of care becomes based on some Some reflexes, some fears, some anxieties, etc. And then there is the other side, which is of course the do's and don'ts. You should do this, you shouldn't do that. And both are helpful and important, but they actually limit us in terms of either reflex or performative care. What we are really looking at, and that's what I highlight in the book, is conscious caring, which is different.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  Conscious caring is when you are able to assess the situation fully, look at it from a broad perspective, and allow it to happen from something deep within. And what I have found is that this actually is very satisfying, evolutionary. It's like a technique also. How you care about things, how you do things. You know, when you want to have a business, you care to open the business. So how do you care? From which level you are taking your care? And, you know, when we see the world, I see also many people caring too much and getting exhausted, or caring too little, feeling isolated.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  I see, you know, overwhelm, I see confusion in this field. And there are big questions about who cares overall, you know, does the universe care, etc. And so I thought this is a very important topic to really look into, so that people make decisions from a very deep level of broad comprehension of inner stability and give techniques of what to do under different circumstances.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  I love it. There is the instinctual biological imperative that I need to care about if I want to keep myself alive. I'm hungry, I care, I need to eat, I'm tired, I need to find a way to lay down and sleep. And then there's the conscious caring, which is I have my needs met, I have the space to be thinking about things that I want to invest in, people I want to invest in, and I care to grow things or to help others. And then within that, I can burn myself out and do too much, and care too much, and be unhappy, or be alone and feel isolated because I just am not caring enough.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Exactly, and you know, the book doesn't actually ask us to care more. That's why there is this balance between caring too little, caring too much, where to care, when to put our energy. It actually gives us a technique, a system of caring better, caring wisely, caring in a way that sustains us without having to feel, "Oh, I'm being selfish." No, caring for yourself is very important so that you can care for all the other things. You care for business, your family, your society, the world, if you want. And so, the arc of the book takes us from inner care, personal care, accepting that as a very important baseline

• 7:37Speaker 02

  and on which we build the ability to then to extend our sense of self to our dear ones and then to the society and the environment and the world as a whole.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  Got to put my oxygen mask on first before I help other people put theirs on.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Beautiful, exactly that.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  So finding that just right, which is something I'm always searching for in life because I have a tendency to go a little too hard from time to time in different areas and then let other things slip. So it's like everything else, I suppose, finding that kind of sweet spot.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Exactly, and there are techniques for that. One might think, "Oh, it's something theoretical and complicated and I should do's and don'ts and obligations and morals kind of obligation, as if, "Oh, we're now going to have to get another thing to worry about and to feel bad about." But actually, it's something very fulfilling. It's something when it's done properly and when one cares from within by expanding one's consciousness. That's why I emphasize the term conscious caring rather than, as we said, you know, reflexive caring or obligation caring or morally obliged to do that because that's the right thing to do.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  These are all, of course, fine and they will happen anyway. But there is a layer which is more important that allows us to care properly. And for that, you ask yourself few questions. So there are techniques, there are reset, you know, reflection questions, reset, quick resets that one can do, takeaways, summaries that allow us to systematically understand what are the steps that are necessary under different circumstances. Could be, you know, family life, could be relationships, love, loss, friendship, divorce, crisis, whatever. And so I wanted this book to be

• 9:43Speaker 02

  practical, to be directly awakening within ourselves and understanding. So it's very profound. But on the basis of that, what to do? What do I do about it under this circumstance or this situation?

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• 11:00Speaker 01

  Which I appreciate very much because anytime I hear somebody to tell, tell me to just do this or that, well, if I don't know how to do it, then I can't just do it. So I appreciate frameworks and tactics to be able to, to be able to find this because I think it's so important. If you don't mind, I'd just tell you the sort of the brief story about what got me thinking about it. Because I've always been a pretty caring person and an invested person in my community. I've served on boards and I've been the president of associations and I've coached and I've mentored. And then sometimes I resisted taking on more mentees. And I always thought about, well, maybe I'm being selfish. But then it's sort of realized that maybe it's that I do know myself well enough.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  So I don't want to spread myself too thin and give too much of myself and burn out. And I'm still kind of grappling with that.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's an obvious question, you know, where we have to realize that we can only give what we have. And that caring for the first home already, the body, is our home. So you can say you are inhabiting a certain structure. And that structure, in order to be maintained, it has to be cared for, it has to be attended to. You don't take a car and then it runs out of fuel. And you say the car is selfish, I have to stop at the gas station to fill it up again. No, you know, that's a very natural, automatic thing. And it's the same.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  Our body needs care, our mind needs rest and attention. And then we have the strength, the energy to be able to care for others. So care is building on a spiral rather than a thing where each level builds on the other. Each level builds on the other. And the first level is ourself. And that is not selfish. That is the basis of caring properly when we want to extend that care beyond our just personal individual. So prepare yourself, pull the arrow back, and then you can hit the target.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  What do we stand to gain? What do I get as an individual if I can maximize my physical vehicle and give myself everything that I need to be performing at a high level? And then I can look outward. Why would I do that?

• 13:31Speaker 02

  Well, ultimately, it's because it's, you know, the nature of life is to grow and to expand. That's why we all want to have friends. We all want to have community. We want love. We want connectedness. And our generation today is facing a problem of solitude and loneliness and all of that. And so these are very important aspects because of overwhelm, because of, you know, the outrage about what's happening in the world and situations in society and all of that. And so we ask ourselves, what do I have to care? What do I care about? Should I care?

• 14:14Speaker 02

  And if I care, do I get overwhelmed and burn out? Or should I not care and go into kind of avoidance? Give us broad comprehension? Then we are able to be more ourselves. People think they want more, to have more is the most important thing. Actually, what human beings want is to be more. And to be more is the expansion of the self from an isolated individual to see the self in others, to see the self in an environment, in family, in friends, whatever the extension is. And so it's the nature of life to actually expand.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  And by expanding, we become more. We feel we are more. And we're fulfilling the purpose of existence. So there is a whole chapter about the meaning of life, the purpose of life. How does it fit within the context of a greater worldview, a greater understanding? And so it is not just caring, you know, to help the other, which is great, of course. But by helping the other one opens oneself and physiologically there are transformations that happen that are very important. There is healing process. Parasympathetic system is activated. Heart rate reduces. Blood pressure improves. The hormones, the inflammation reduces.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  So it has direct physical effects. But also on a, if you like, spiritual level. It's expand ourself. You're saying, George, you know, you are on this, see of this, a member of that, etc. That is natural. You didn't much truly think about it, except there is this impulse that comes, which is part of the nature of who we are as human beings. And therefore, we are fulfilling our roles in life. And by that, we expand ourself. Because if you're isolated in a room and sitting, oh, myself, my needs, my little things, you get isolated. But when you are caring for this or caring for that, even in a gentle, wise, measured, rhythmic way,

• 16:28Speaker 02

  these things become part of you. You feel you are bigger. You are more than this isolated individual. If you care for a friend, then the friend is part of you. You care for a family. The family is part of you. You care for society. You have grown, you have expanded. Then we have to know how this happens stepwise, not feel, suddenly I have to sit and care for the whole world and the universe and it's overwhelming. And that is where the book goes very, very strictly into, what is mind to care for at what time? That is conscious caring, rather than impulsive. You know, let's change the whole world without a stepwise, without,

• 17:12Speaker 02

  you know, small acts of care that can make a huge difference for yourself and even for society.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  What is mind to care for?

• 17:23Speaker 01

  I know that I certainly get frustrated and probably have the opposite physiological experience from what you were describing a minute ago when I'm helping another and all these wonderful things are happening to my body versus if I'm freaking out about whatever the president said or what's going on in a country so far away that I cannot impact or touch at all, I imagine that probably does bad things to my body.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  Exactly, you know, there is this mind-body connection, what happens in the mind happens in the body, or it reflected there and vice versa. And sometimes, you know, the body has a limit. So when one feels that one is reaching the limit, or burnout, or becoming indifferent, and all of that, one shouldn't feel like a moral obligation or a moral failure that the mind hasn't been allowing. It can actually be the body, the physical body, is giving you signals that there is a limit to how much is yours to take care of, how much your

• 18:25Speaker 02

  responsibility is. You know, the world now is so exposed through media, through internet, and all of that. You wake up in the morning, by the time it's lunch, you've had an idea about what's happening in the whole world. You know, our teens, our, you know, young generation, you know, they get in their, you know, few years of life more than our grandparents had in the entire lifespan. And the body is not built to do that. Our body is built in, you know, small context, and, you know, immediate things. And so we take care of the immediate tribe, or the immediate family, or immediate society. These

• 19:05Speaker 02

  are how we grew and evolved genetically and evolutionarily. And now, these young people, they have to deal with the entire world, not only the young people, all of, all of us, me, you know, you are young also, George, but I am of a different, maybe, generation. Still, we are all dealing with that. And therefore, we have to measure it. We have to know, what can I... That fulfills me at the same time contributes. And so, small steps, small acts of conscious caring can make a huge difference. And we know that these small acts can ripple. They have ripple effects.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  You act nicely towards somebody, they likely will act nicely towards somebody else, et cetera. So when you do something, a small act of caring.

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• 20:57Speaker 02

  It will influence people you will never meet. So don't feel like you have to take the whole world's pressure on yourself. But be balanced, of course, if you can, if you are in a position of responsibility, et cetera. There are also ways to deal with big problems and big situations. But we have to live realistically with broader comprehension and see what is mine to care for now today. And what can I make? What difference can I make? And not be overwhelmed by this, you know, sometimes entire chaos.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  But I want to boil the ocean, Tony. I want to do it all.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  Of course, I can't.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can. You can, but you know, take care of yourself and then more and more is possible.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  We were talking as we got started and you briefly just posed the question, does the universe even care? Is that something I should concern myself with? It's interesting. Do you think that the universe cares about me? Should I worry about that?

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a big question. It's a philosophical question, which I discussed to some extent in my first book, Consciousness is All There Is. It's like, what is your worldview? What do you see the world as? Is it random occurrences? Things are happening randomly? We know that there are laws, so therefore are the laws deterministic, which means the big question is, why are you telling me to care if everything is predetermined? And every action leads to another reaction. So if I go back, I have no choice. So this comes into the sense of freedom, of choice, ability to choose, and the setup of the worldview. And what I present as a worldview

• 22:45Speaker 02

  is a unified field of existence that actually manifests in multiplicity, and it maintains its balance through, you know, what we know in physics, action and reaction. You push on a door, in fact, it pushes on you. You create a positive charge, there is a negative charge that balances it and create matter, there is antimatter. You know, all of this, you spin in one direction, there is another spin in the other direction. These are automated, automatic part of the structure of the universe. That's very important to know. So what I say in the book is that

• 23:27Speaker 02

  the universe doesn't really care in the sense of somebody sitting there and checking and caring and favoring this, or favoring that, or deciding now and deciding there. That's a possibility. You know, not one has to look at what makes sense to them. But if there is law and order and there is structure and there is action and reaction and there is balance, then the universe cares more like...

• 23:56Speaker 02

  I would say a song cares to be in tune with the orchestra or with the music. And that is automatic. And therefore, every action has a reaction, has a response that comes from it. We have the choice to make, we are free to make choices, which gives possibility of all kinds of possibilities coming up. And I'm writing an article on freedom, determinism, etc. But there is a choice, but the choice leads to specific outcome. If you plant an apple seed, you will get an apple tree. Yes, you can plant a mango seed and get a mango tree,

• 24:40Speaker 02

  but you plant an apple seed, you cannot get a mango tree. That is laws of nature. You have the choice to your action, but once you initiate the action, there are sets of laws that will allow or make this action go somewhere. And so, the universe, of course, cares because it balances everything, but it happens in a natural way, in an automatic way, in a fair way, in a just way, where it's, you know, is equal to everybody. It doesn't, you know, prefer somebody over the other. But of course, if you do the wrong action,

• 25:22Speaker 02

  even with the whole love and care of the universe, your action is automatically, you know, computed and will have its own outcome. You plant a seed, what seed you plant, that's what you sow. As you sow, you know, you will reap.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  Thank you. It strikes me that if determinism were real, then why would I care? I don't have any influence on it, so what you just said makes sense to me.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, freedom is real, freedom is real. I'm a big proponent of, you know, there are some scientists who want to be rigid about, you know, laws and laws and laws and therefore where is freedom? Because you are, you know, action. So laws are there, but we have still freedom. And I explain why in this worldview. And even from physics, we have indeterminacy that was discovered in the finest level of physics, in the quantum field level, quantum indeterminacy, you know, superposition and, and you know, all of these values, it's not maybe the point to right now go into that. But even physics allows for this uncertainty

• 26:36Speaker 02

  and possibilities and probability. And therefore that can be extended to say, yes, we have freedom of choice, but based on what we choose, there will be a result. That is no contradiction with law.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Beautiful, thank you. Well, Tony, thank you so much for coming back on. Where can people learn more about you? How could they engage with you? And where can they get their copy of The Power of Caring?

• 27:05Speaker 02

  I have a website, DrTonyNader, D R T O N Y N A D E R dot com. You're welcome to visit it. I am right now, you know, really wanting this book out. It's available in the different, you know, bookstores, Amazon and other sellers. If you want it directly also as a pre-order, that would be wonderful. It's available in thepowerofcaringbook.com, thepowerofcaringbook.com. And we are doing webinars and seminars and we're offering these webinars to those who preorder. This webinar has been wonderful.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  I've already have two that were out. One is how to care across divide, political divide. It's a big topic. The other one is about love, loss and relationships. And the next one will be actually how, why the universe care or does the universe care?

• 28:08Speaker 01

  Excellent. Well, if you enjoyed this much as I did, show Tony your appreciation. Share today's show with a friend that also appreciates good ideas. Go to thepowerofcaringbook.com and check out the resources that Tony was just talking about and pick up your copy of The Power of Caring. Go to DrTonyNader.com to learn more about Tony and what he's working on. And I imagine, because you're listening to the show, that you are a caring person and we can all get better at more conscious caring and protecting ourselves so that we're able to show up for the people that we care about and the things that we care about better. Thanks again, Tony.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Beautiful. Thank you, George. Wonderful to be with you.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  And until next time, remember, do your part by doing your best.

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