Side Stories: The Secret Sauce

Henry & Eddie bring you this week’s weirdest stories and true crime news as allegations against a Buddy’s Burger employee have the boys questioning their trust in the fast food industry. PLUS! The Burbank Butt Sniffer gets 170 days behind bars, a Minnesota drug dealer’s customer loyalty program backfires, an MMA fighter claims he can take on a chimpanzee, a Florida woman settles a dispute with a bucket of poop, a hotel guest discovers a stranger sleeping under the bed, Listener Emails, and MORE!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Henry Zebrowski?

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• 0:45Henry Zebrowski?

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• 1:02Speaker 01

  There's no place to escape to.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories?

• 1:08Speaker 01

  That's when the cannibalism started.

• 1:13Henry Zebrowski?

  Side stories, yes.

• 1:23Speaker 03

  Oh, happy day, everyone. Mitch McConnell is... Oh, there he goes, filled with life and his smile for everyone. Quick, hungry, get the chicken bones. Oh, yes, yes, I have to shake the bones. Look at him go, look at the gondola. Ah, look at him as effortless as the day he was born. Nothing is wrong with him ever, look at the smile. Absolutely, Mitch McConnell, fit to make decisions, man. Rastafarian. He is fit to make important fucking government decisions, man. Lead us to the secret treasure under the ocean, Mitch.

• 2:06Speaker 03

  Oh, I sure hope he finds a nice island girl to sit down with. He'll find it, oh, he's the party, the life of every party. Oh, life is grand.

• 2:19Henry Zebrowski?

  Wow, thank you so much. Really great work. Mitch McConnell has made it back to work, so have we. That is honestly one of the hardest things to do is after a long vacation is to get back in the saddle.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  I know, it's so hard.

• 2:34Henry Zebrowski?

  So hard, especially when your vacation is in the afterlife. Because that has to be so hard to be wrenched from the warm light of God and be forced back to life every day in order to, I guess, I don't know what he's gonna do, because he's just gonna go, I guess he's just sitting there.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  He is just sitting there with that stupid grin, but I think they put popsicles in his mouth so his grin stays.

• 3:00Henry Zebrowski?

  No, it's because he's, uh, it's, uh, there's a term called, I think it's, uh, the lights are on and there's nobody home.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:07Henry Zebrowski?

  That's what we're looking at. Welcome to Side Stories.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Sandwiches short of a picnic.

• 3:11Henry Zebrowski?

  You're right, he is, because he can't eat solid foods anymore. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson, I'm Henry Zebrowski.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  How you doing, buddy?

• 3:19Henry Zebrowski?

  And this is a huge, huge day. We didn't think Mitch McConnell would dare, I'd say spoil our fun.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:27Henry Zebrowski?

  Uh, but no, he is out and about, he must, my, my, my full theory is that he has an illegal Santeria witch held hostage in his basement, and that each day she prays to Iku, the Santeria god of death, in order to, I guess it's like, because I feel like they're taking life away from AOC.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  Oh, you think that's what it is?

• 3:50Henry Zebrowski?

  I think they're, or one of them, they're like saturating, like, they're doing, I think in D and D, I believe it's called a life drain, they're doing a life drain on, who's looking bad? Oh, who is the guy that was from Maine that got all the gations?

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, the, um, the, the Democrat with the tattoos and the iron cross.

• 4:10Henry Zebrowski?

  That's who they're getting, that, that former Nazi guy, they fucking, they're sucking the life form out of him, because he's not looking good. And so I think that's what it is, and they're giving it to Mitch. Because Mitch is in a form of suspended animation, he just looks like he's happy to be here, which I think is just a sign of pure dementia. And the fact that he was brain dead for several days, and I honestly don't know if he can make a decision.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Who is that, um, that, that stupid, uh, health secretary or, no, he was, he ended up being like, um, Homeland, uh, he was a black guy, he was, he was a brain surgeon.

• 4:45Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, the guy that died?

• 4:47Speaker 03

  Did he die?

• 4:48Henry Zebrowski?

  The guy died of COVID, Herman Cain?

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Oh, Herman Cain, oh, yeah.

• 4:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, the guy that he specifically came out of.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  I think he's wearing Mitch McConnell's skin.

• 4:54Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, he wishes he was a black man. Mitch McConnell can't do anything, but you know, he's just like, he's like, well, I can't, we'll make sure that we, uh, keep feeding that wonderful Santeria witch in the basement, all her paella, all her delicious rices, get her some Pernell, get her some roast pork.

• 5:17Speaker 03

  He just looks like he's full of eggs.

• 5:19Henry Zebrowski?

  He is full of eggs, toad eggs. He is just a, if he's anything, he is an incubator.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's a host.

• 5:26Henry Zebrowski?

  He is a host.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  At this point.

• 5:28Henry Zebrowski?

  But, uh, you know, Mitch McConnell, all smiles back at work, and I just gotta say, I'm happy for him. Because there's one, you know what it is? I think he's only happy if he's either subjugating or in, or shitting in a bag.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:44Henry Zebrowski?

  And he gets to do both now.

• 5:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, even though he looks like a shitbag.

• 5:47Henry Zebrowski?

  He is a colostomy bag.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:49Henry Zebrowski?

  But with the ability to change our lives.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Did you see the good news, though, other than Mitch?

• 5:55Henry Zebrowski?

  What other good news?

• 5:57Speaker 03

  My girl, dude, my girl won an Emmy last night. Rosa Parks?

• 6:02Henry Zebrowski?

  No, Sally Field.

• 6:03Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 6:05Henry Zebrowski?

  Sally Field looking fucking hot, dude, up there winning for the, uh, the Creatures movie, who gives a shit? It's got Field, man, we're playing, dude.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 6:14Henry Zebrowski?

  I love Sally, yeah.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  She looks.

• 6:17Henry Zebrowski?

  Look at her.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  She does look beautiful.

• 6:19Henry Zebrowski?

  She is gorgeous as ever, I love you Sally Field.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Saying she's looking hot is, I mean, she is a beautiful woman.

• 6:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Making her physically warm.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  She is a beautiful, she's a beautiful woman, and we wish her luck. She's got the one most wonderful smile in the world, and I can't wait to see all of you.

• 6:41Henry Zebrowski?

  God help us, God help us, he wants to strip, he wants to strip elderly Sally Field down. He wants to strip her down and he wants to see her nude grandma body.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  I don't know what it is about Sally Field that just gets me all randy.

• 6:57Henry Zebrowski?

  God, Eddie.

• 6:59Speaker 03

  Let her just enjoy this, let her enjoy this moment, we don't have to do this.

• 7:04Henry Zebrowski?

  I love her.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  This is gonna get back to her.

• 7:06Henry Zebrowski?

  She's, I hope so.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, they said, don't worry, there's some guy on Netflix who wants to fuck you.

• 7:10Henry Zebrowski?

  Gee, we're both on Netflix.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  They like me.

• 7:14Henry Zebrowski?

  We're coworkers, this is a Netflix show.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  They really like me.

• 7:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, maybe I need to behave myself now that we're coworkers.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 7:21Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, okay.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  You gotta do the old fashioned.

• 7:23Henry Zebrowski?

  I take it all back.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  You need to send.

• 7:25Henry Zebrowski?

  Rob, edit that out.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, great, Eddie, yeah, that'll do it, that covers it.

• 7:27Henry Zebrowski?

  Edit, edit everything I said about Sally Field out, that's derogatory, thank you.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  You didn't say anything derogatory, you just were talking about seeing her naked body.

• 7:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  But I do think that what we could do is probably send a note through administration.

• 7:39Henry Zebrowski?

  You think so?

• 7:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 7:41Henry Zebrowski?

  You think I could call Ted Sarandos and be like, hey, I really wanna have lunch with Sally Field?

• 7:44Speaker 03

  We will never meet Ted Sarandos. And just know that if we do meet Ted Sarandos, it's not our fault. Yeah, it's just like, yeah, we'll meet one of his people to just slowly shoot us in the kneecaps.

• 7:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes, no one is going, we're not getting anywhere in there, we are a podcast acquisition, friends.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  I love you Sally.

• 8:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Come on the show.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, bring Sally on the show, we'll talk about Lincoln.

• 8:09Henry Zebrowski?

  I'll buy you whatever lunch you want.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Anything you want, you like Zanku?

• 8:12Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh my God, I bet she loves Zanku.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  Oh, I know she loves Zanku, who doesn't? I like Zanku.

• 8:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, yeah, I eat it twice a week. I don't know if I like it as much as I just eat it because I know it won't kill me.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  I think that's honestly to be, uh, that's most of the things I eat.

• 8:26Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  We got updates.

• 8:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, we do.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  We got updates, another guy who's got a bad diet, Burbank Butt Sniffer.

• 8:32Henry Zebrowski?

  Now, he got put in for his longest jail sentence yet. The New York Post is saying that LA is weak on crime.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Please, the California Post, Henry.

• 8:42Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't insult them.

• 8:44Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm so sorry, but they are saying that the Burbank Butt Sniffer, who I believe got was 170 days.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Yes, when the maximum for him to get would be 180.

• 8:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes, so they are, so they're calling us weak on crime here, but I think our problem here is that police Crowder is being very presidential, where he's seen a lot of loopholes in the system. He has begun to, he has understood that if he keeps it at just a nose length away from sniffing butts, they can't seem to actually put him in jail for an extended period of time. And so this is the biggest, this is so far the biggest, uh, the book got thrown at him.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  I didn't realize, 40 arrests.

• 9:26Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, buddy.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  That's a lot.

• 9:28Henry Zebrowski?

  He is, this is what we're seeing here, it's because I was joking with our wonderful friends over at Matt's Syndicate, I was joking about the idea that. Someone should fart in a bunch of diapers and give it to him as like a mella like a like a like you know like a methadone.

• 9:43Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 9:44Henry Zebrowski?

  For like his heroin, right? So he could just smell it, he could pick it up, he could smell it and he can kind of move on with his day. But I think I'm now understanding.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  He likes the thrill of it.

• 9:51Henry Zebrowski?

  But I think besides just the thrill, he loves to sneak. I also think he's understood now that this is the crime he can continue to do.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:00Henry Zebrowski?

  And this is, as long as he keeps it at butt sniffing, this is the most he'll get. And so he'll, he's taking the time. Cause guess where you'll sniff butts that are the most sniffed butts in the whole world that'll be easy to get at is prison.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:14Henry Zebrowski?

  Right? Cause it smells like butts in there.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  It is a lot of butts, but he likes lady butts.

• 10:18Henry Zebrowski?

  But he's gonna be in a butt like center, but I think if he closes his eyes, cause we know now officially that women's farts are worse. Then then we know that for a fact.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  According, except for mine.

• 10:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Except for yours.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  And I didn't get any challenges. I called out all of women and no one even said.

• 10:32Henry Zebrowski?

  There was some challenges, but I'm not reading them.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 10:35Henry Zebrowski?

  No, I don't care.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  You didn't tell me about my challengers?

• 10:38Henry Zebrowski?

  We are creating the facts here, my friend. We're creating the facts here. I don't care, dude. I don't give a fucking shit, dude. But no, the, that's why I was like, I feel like a man's farts in jail, cause it'd be more jail than prison, would equate to a woman's farts.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Because of the diet in there.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Also, I have to say, the California Post decided to change his name from the Burbank Butt Sniffer to the California Butt Sniffer.

• 11:02Henry Zebrowski?

  That fucking honestly.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  It does not ring.

• 11:04Henry Zebrowski?

  No, and also fuck you dude. Fuck you. It is not a California problem. It is a Burbank problem.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  Well, the last time was in Glendale.

• 11:10Henry Zebrowski?

  He's extended his reach. He's in the valley.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  He's in the, he's extended to Glendale.

• 11:14Henry Zebrowski?

  Valley problem.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:15Henry Zebrowski?

  Okay, but also the San Fernando Valley Butt Sniffer also doesn't really make sense.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Burbank Butt Sniffer is the best name he could possibly have.

• 11:23Henry Zebrowski?

  That's where he's located. That's where he wants to be. Understand, the only reason why he's not in Burbank sniffing butts is because we, Side Stories has pushed him out.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:34Henry Zebrowski?

  Okay? He wants to be sniffing butts in the neighborhood.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, because Burbank's got some of the best butts to sniff in all of California.

• 11:40Henry Zebrowski?

  Incredible voice actors, uh, some of the finest gun shop owners you can imagine.

• 11:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's lots of makeup people in Burbank.

• 11:49Henry Zebrowski?

  But to sniff out here, people visit from across the city here. There's a good variety of different types of diverse butts. He has access here to different levels of also like monetary classes of butts. So he can kind of experience all different types of things. He doesn't want to be in Glendale and because of Raffi's. Because I do think that Raffi's in Glendale, which is truly one of the best restaurants in the city. That is also like, it's a lot of meat. It's a lot of cruciferous vegetables. And I think that a lot of people, it does affect their bowel health.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, there's lots of farts in Glendale, but I think there's more farts in Glendale than there are in Burbank.

• 12:25Henry Zebrowski?

  Falafel's a very farty food.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  Such an exclusive reference, though. Raffi's.

• 12:30Henry Zebrowski?

  Raffi's is fucking good, dude.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  Delicious.

• 12:32Henry Zebrowski?

  Get your ass to Raffi's, man.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  That's, that's, that's what the Burbank butts to process.

• 12:39Speaker 03

  First Eden, no, the Burbank Butt Sniffer is like, Eden Glendale, share the love in Burbank.

• 12:47Henry Zebrowski?

  By the time you get to Burbank.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  He'll be ready for me.

• 12:49Henry Zebrowski?

  Fully fermented. You know, but we here obviously know that it's a crime and I'm glad that they did what they could.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  He's obviously gonna do this again.

• 12:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh yes. No, he has figured out his place. Butt Sniffer is gonna be sniffing butts until the day he's fucking a dead Butt Sniffer.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  The way I look at it is the people in California, the lawmakers in California have a hundred and seventy days to make a law.

• 13:13Henry Zebrowski?

  They had to figure out.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  They need to, they need to figure something out to stop this motherfucker.

• 13:17Henry Zebrowski?

  Because in one place, cause I mean, we're not gonna stop talking about this subject ever. So my question is, at what level does it become criminal? Like, and on what level is sniffing butts, can you apply that to a helpful thing?

• 13:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:34Henry Zebrowski?

  No, I'm asking like sniffing butts on some level, like is, does it help medicinally? Like, like, I mean, like in terms of like, can a doctor sniff your butt and tell if you have cancer?

• 13:44Speaker 03

  No. A dog can though, supposedly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dogs know, well, they have like the diabetes smelling dogs and stuff like that. Like if your blood sugar starts dropping, they'll start barking at you and stuff like that.

• 13:54Henry Zebrowski?

  So if there's no applicable.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  Do that for my mom, but she was bad at it because my mom died.

• 13:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  But Tootsie was just going like, she was more rooting on her death.

• 14:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Now, I, this is a whole thing here because if you can't apply butt sniffing in a practical way, there should be a law against it.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  You know, I don't even know if they, do they even make potpourri anymore? I haven't seen potpourri around in a while. In the nineties, you couldn't get rid of potpourri.

• 14:20Henry Zebrowski?

  I just don't think you're going to the right places.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:22Henry Zebrowski?

  I think that potpourri is still a thing.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  I mean, Pier 1 Imports is out, Brad Shops out, where people get potpourri.

• 14:28Henry Zebrowski?

  That little old lady that runs that weird little gift store sells potpourri. I'm pretty certain the one that's like right down the street from here.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 14:34Henry Zebrowski?

  I think she sells potpourri. I don't think it's as popular as it was.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:37Henry Zebrowski?

  Because it was really popular with, uh, uh, women that survived the Holocaust.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:42Henry Zebrowski?

  That's what I think it was like.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  It was always in a big dish and I always wanted potpourri, but I'm always worried about like my dog eating it.

• 14:49Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:50Henry Zebrowski?

  As you should, because dogs will eat it.

• 14:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Potpourri, uh, yeah, potpourri's gone.

• 14:54Henry Zebrowski?

  I think potpourri is, uh, is stupid.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:57Henry Zebrowski?

  Get a candle.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 14:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah. Yeah, you fuckers. And if that's classist, I'm sorry. Get a fucking candle.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Hey, do you think if someone has like a really nice smelling butt, the Burbank Butt Sniffer like moves on or do you think he likes it?

• 15:12Henry Zebrowski?

  No, he wants, I think he wants stinky.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  Stinky, right?

• 15:14Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, he wants stinky.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  He has to want stinky.

• 15:15Henry Zebrowski?

  You know, sniffing butts did not get stink.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Right? If he wanted to sniff heads.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:21Henry Zebrowski?

  He'd be smelling nice things. If you wanted to sniff titties.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Titties don't have a smell.

• 15:25Henry Zebrowski?

  But he's not going for like us. He's going for like.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  No, he's going for ladies.

• 15:29Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, he wants a ladies butt.

• 15:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, which is a piece, makes him a very big piece of shit.

• 15:33Henry Zebrowski?

  You really think it'd be better if you went after men?

• 15:35Speaker 03

  Yeah. Cause then we could fight him.

• 15:37Henry Zebrowski?

  But I feel like women can fight him.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, but they won't win. He's a, you know, he's, he's, he is a big guy.

• 15:42Henry Zebrowski?

  Women are trained. You've been, you've been also, women will, women wanna fight.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, I would love if someone around house kicked him while he was down there and fucking stomped on his head, but I don't think that's happening.

• 15:52Henry Zebrowski?

  I bet you they'd get nabbed for assault instead.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  God, imagine that and they get like two hundred and fifty days and he's in there for one seventy.

• 15:57Henry Zebrowski?

  And then you gotta freak, because the thing is, you gotta prove you sniffing your butt.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:01Henry Zebrowski?

  And that's really hard without.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  See, the thing is like.

• 16:05Henry Zebrowski?

  What do you need to prove a man sniffed your butt?

• 16:07Speaker 03

  What he really got in trouble for was when he did the Peeping Tom stuff.

• 16:11Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  That's like, that was what he actually got, cause there's a law against it.

• 16:14Henry Zebrowski?

  And again, it's a silly name.

• 16:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:16Henry Zebrowski?

  It's another example of a thing that is a silly thing to call something.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. It is a little too silly for what the crime is.

• 16:22Henry Zebrowski?

  No, Peeping Tom is just too.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  It sounds cute. Yeah, it sounds cute.

• 16:26Henry Zebrowski?

  Sounds like a character from the Smurfs.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 16:29Henry Zebrowski?

  We've talked about this before.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  I haven't talked about that.

• 16:32Henry Zebrowski?

  I don't think I've talked about this many times. It needs to be salacious viewing.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  Salacious viewing.

• 16:37Henry Zebrowski?

  Salacious viewing. All right, we have any other updates, Eddie?

• 16:41Speaker 03

  There's one other update. Um, the, uh, the guy who, the grandfather from that horrible family that had the, the sixteen kids.

• 16:50Henry Zebrowski?

  So the house of horrors that we talked about how I think you remember was the Cider family with Elizabeth and Gary Ciders the second. They both, they got both married when they were teenagers. They had sixteen children inside of this house.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Seventeen now.

• 17:02Henry Zebrowski?

  Now seventeen. We, one of the, one of the kids got out. They were all rescued. Remember they were arrested with their grandparents, Gary Cider Senior? And they all look like different breeds of chihuahua.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:13Henry Zebrowski?

  Right? So we got deer heads, we got apple heads, we got this stuff. And unfortunately Gary Cider Senior, the father, he has just been now, the big update, is that he's been ruled incompetent to be a part of the trial. What I do think is interesting because they just, and I love the terms that they use. They said that Gary Cider Senior has been unfortunately affected by dementia and there is no fixing that.

• 17:35Speaker 03

  Well, it's just like. They said there's no restoring him.

• 17:40Henry Zebrowski?

  It's such a weird thing because like just cause he has dementia, doesn't mean he committed these crimes for decades. Yes, it do, well, or it doesn't, it doesn't matter. Either way, he's incompetent to stand trial. So they're just saying that he can't stand trial because he has the same brain capacity as Carmy.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:56Henry Zebrowski?

  And he has the same eye placement. He's got the apple headed, he looks like an apple headed thing.

• 18:00Speaker 03

  It's so, it's such a weird thing, cause he did it.

• 18:02Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, we don't know if he did it or not. Right now, it's like, because when it comes to competency.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  For decades.

• 18:07Henry Zebrowski?

  But when it comes to competency, he could also technically be a victim.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  You think so?

• 18:11Henry Zebrowski?

  No. No. But he could technically be a victim as well. I just think what the problem is, is that at a certain level of like, Side Stories, L P O T L at gmail dot com. You know, when we love our lawyers, when you write us in and describe things about the court. Because there is something that there, uh, the idea is, is that he has no idea what's going on. That's what they're saying. He has no idea what's going on. His eyeballs are looking into two different time zones.

• 18:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:34Henry Zebrowski?

  He legitimately is a paperweight. He is Mitch McConnell.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  But Mitch McConnell's a senator. Here's the thing, if they're trying to keep him safe, a safer place for him would be in jail or a mental asylum. But they're putting him out into the streets, which is basically a death sentence for a guy like this.

• 18:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Stories, L P O T L at gmail dot com. There's gonna be a lot of people that are gonna say the opposite. I do see what you're saying, Eddie. But I also will say, if he is like, he is just, they've decided that he was not a part of the current crimes.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Dealing with, which was the maltreatment of the children that were in the house. So technically, I think the way it also works is because he's not the direct father. And if he was not doing anything to the kids, cause now we kind of realize, cause at first the whole thing was Gary Ciders Junior and his two fuck and his, and his father were fucking everybody, right? They were fucking the daughter.

• 19:25Speaker 03

  This guy's grandpa from the fucking Texas Chainsaw House.

• 19:29Henry Zebrowski?

  He could also just have been there. That's what they're kind of saying. This is what this is intimating is that he was just there as a paperweight.

• 19:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:36Henry Zebrowski?

  Staring off a toot at the sunrise and the sunset at the same time. And he would, didn't actually fuck or suck any of the children.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 19:45Henry Zebrowski?

  And if he's not fucking and sucking the children, there's not really a heck of a lot of crimes you can do there. Because if he's not directly responsible for the children, if the other two are there that are directly responsible and it's about the kids' malnourishment, then they would be on the hook. And then he'd probably be considered a victim.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  This diagram really puts it into perspective.

• 20:02Henry Zebrowski?

  God, they all look like they're dying. Yeah, it is a, it is a bad family. It is a bad, the whole, it's a bad batch. It's a bad batch of DNA. All of those kids are absolutely fucked. They're all gonna just be, those are all the kids fueling Roblox.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 20:18Henry Zebrowski?

  We are.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  There's a lot of kids here.

• 20:20Henry Zebrowski?

  A lot of kids.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  A lot of kids here. Oh, when you just put it like that, that's fucking horrifying.

• 20:25Henry Zebrowski?

  It's a whole army of degradation. When I look at this sea of broken people, all I just think of is, I think we're gonna be fine.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. So, oh my God. Yeah, there are, I don't even know where to start with this.

• 20:39Henry Zebrowski?

  You just can't.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  You can't.

• 20:40Henry Zebrowski?

  You can't. The audience needs to look at it. The audience needs to go check out the quote unquote family tree.

• 20:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:45Henry Zebrowski?

  And so you can really see how not diversified it is.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. And, um, it's gonna be, uh, these kids are fucked. These seventeen kids.

• 20:55Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, I think so.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. All right, let's move on. That just got sad.

• 20:59Henry Zebrowski?

  It did get sad.

• 21:00Speaker 03

  That got sad real fast.

• 21:02Henry Zebrowski?

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• 21:47Henry Zebrowski?

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• 22:05Henry Zebrowski?

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• 22:51Henry Zebrowski?

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• 23:35Henry Zebrowski?

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• 24:19Henry Zebrowski?

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• 24:38Henry Zebrowski?

  Did you find Mitch in DC where you were just there?

• 24:40Speaker 03

  I was looking for him. I was smelling up and down. I was looking for the slime trails.

• 24:45Henry Zebrowski?

  How were your shows in DC?

• 24:46Speaker 03

  My shows were great. I had a wonderful time. It sold out all but like eight tickets. The DC Lounge, it was unbelievable. DC Improv in the Lounge, had a great time. Everyone was fucking cool. A bunch of people came to the show that are coming to our show in Norfolk this weekend, which is really cool. I love when people double dip.

• 25:03Henry Zebrowski?

  We need to sell tickets to Norfolk.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, there's going to be people coming out. We got to go. It's almost sold out. It's getting there.

• 25:09Henry Zebrowski?

  It's got its problems. But we need people to come out to the Norfolk show. We got to come out there. All the other shows are actually going to do great. We're going to sell out pretty much every one of our other shows.

• 25:17Speaker 03

  This weekend, we got Norfolk on Friday, and then we got Raleigh on Saturday, and then we're going to Brooklyn and Hartford and Redway and Portland and Burlington and Iowa City and Columbia. Stein Stories is fucking hitting the road. We're back. Come and get some shows. Some of them are already sold out. So check it all out. Get tickets while you still can.

• 25:33Henry Zebrowski?

  Get them while you can. Now, all right, I want to first do this story just because it's a funny, it's a funny picture, Eddie.

• 25:42Speaker 03

  All right, I like that.

• 25:43Henry Zebrowski?

  So this was, I believe, this takes place in good old-fashioned West Virginia.

• 25:49Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 25:50Henry Zebrowski?

  Which is where we're headed to soon. We're in that area. We're going down there, and I can't wait to meet a bunch of guys that look like this.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  We stay out of the West.

• 25:57Henry Zebrowski?

  A modern-day Confederate general.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 26:02Henry Zebrowski?

  Who really wasn't that. He was a former high school principal by the name of Eric James. If you look at his picture, he looks like Forrest Buford, fucking like the great-grandfather of, that was in charge of the KKK.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:17Henry Zebrowski?

  He put a bit of what seems to be a pen-shaped video camera inside of the girl's changing bathroom inside of his high school, where he was in charge.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Now, he was the principal.

• 26:31Henry Zebrowski?

  The only reason why to cover this is to understand is that the war of northern aggression did seem to affect some of us in both superior and inferior ways. And I have found on this day, the 28th of September, that I ventured forth into the absolute hallowed grounds of a little girl's bathroom.

• 26:57Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 26:58Henry Zebrowski?

  And I did put, I did put an observatory measuring device inside of the lavatory area of the girl's changing rooms. And my first thought was, does this increase liberty? Does this increase the whole the North has of its aggressive tactics over the free southern states?

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Man, can we, I think men should just stop being principals.

• 27:24Henry Zebrowski?

  No. I wish I could fire a cannon, but instead I'm just looking at the poopy hole of a little girl. Because that's what I like. A gentleman, it is time for us to join forces. And we will raid the poopy hole of this little girl. Fall back and forth. Put down, put down your gunnysacks. Put down your hard tack biscuit, and we will mullets up. Put your, put your bayonets forward and rush into the poopy hole of a little girl. I have talked to Peter Thiel, and we are putting flock cameras inside of the urinals.

• 28:06Henry Zebrowski?

  Flock, much like the bald eagles that liberated this very country from the, from the tyranny of British, British.

• 28:19Henry Zebrowski?

  The flock cameras will bring us liberty.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  It's like, how does someone have too much facial hair but also not enough?

• 28:25Henry Zebrowski?

  He somehow chose, he created, the only way I'd put this, it is a brush that can hide the front line of General Lee's is on his chin.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  Is he just like?

• 28:38Henry Zebrowski?

  Thin little fence. No, he wants to look like one of the statues they refuse to pull down.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  I just, like, what, what do you, what is so important about your upper lip?

• 28:49Henry Zebrowski?

  I think it's.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  That you need all that space between your nostril and the little hairs.

• 28:53Henry Zebrowski?

  You know what it is, Eddie? You know what I've just realized?

• 28:54Speaker 03

  What?

• 28:55Henry Zebrowski?

  Guess what he didn't shave? South part of his upper lip.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Guess what is shaved?

• 29:00Speaker 03

  The top.

• 29:01Henry Zebrowski?

  The northern.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  Eliminate the North.

• 29:05Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, I'm here, you have the illustration of the Mason Dixon line. He abhors my trembling upper lip, because all my lips wish to do is kiss the tender brown poopy hole of a 15-year-old girl.

• 29:21Henry Zebrowski?

  Do you know the colors of the lips of a little girl are the same on the bottom as they are on the top? Look at the top of my lip. Look at the top of this lip. Look at the top of this lip. It's a poop. I got, I got.

• 29:34Henry Zebrowski?

  I get dust from the poop holes. And there's dust from the poop holes here at the bottom. Here, I'm about in the bottom of my mustache. My mustache of northern aggression.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  Oh, man, he looks like he just hangs out in the, in the, like, the high school gymnasium a little too long, you know?

• 29:48Henry Zebrowski?

  He's just every day covered in wool. Can't wait to just, he flew, he was so excited for Mitch McConnell to die just so that he could fly the, the fucking flag at half mast.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, he-

• 30:00Henry Zebrowski?

  And he was robbed of that, Mitch.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, he, it's, you know, like, reenactment, reenactors? He's like an actor, an actor.

• 30:07Henry Zebrowski?

  He's in the Civil War.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's still there.

• 30:09Henry Zebrowski?

  He is in the Civil War. He's teaching it to his children like it's at high school, like it's still going on.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:15Henry Zebrowski?

  They definitely have a picture of Jesus Christ riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's-

• 30:20Henry Zebrowski?

  In that high school. You know what I mean? Like, that is definitely a place where they, they talk about, like, how black people were dog people from the stars. Right? You know, they got really deep into that and you know it's like that. You know that they got a lot of talk, they talk a lot about the beauty of Norway.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:41Henry Zebrowski?

  And they wish they could go. But I do not think this question will stand. So I think he's gonna go to jail for a while. It seems that he is going, he's being held in a hundred thousand dollar bond, which is not enough.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  No. It's not because you only need 10% to get out, right?

• 30:57Henry Zebrowski?

  That's it.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, so he's only at 10, he's got 10 grand.

• 31:00Henry Zebrowski?

  The only way I will-

• 31:01Speaker 03

  Two hundred thousand.

• 31:01Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, what I will need to do-

• 31:03Speaker 03

  It said a hundred in the one we were, I was looking at.

• 31:05Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, this other one I found says two hundred thousand. So maybe it's somewhere in between. Either way, that's too little because all he has to do is dig up some of my buried Confederate gold.

• 31:15Henry Zebrowski?

  Cause you know he has, he has some kinda General E's. Fucking, what is it? The, the bedpan? He's got like something like that that he's waiting to sell.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  There's another guy that looks just like him in the news.

• 31:26Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:27Speaker 03

  Um, except he, uh, he, he wasn't interested in little girls, or maybe he is, I don't know, probably.

• 31:32Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, little, oh, man of the most autistic fortitude and jaws, the poopy hole of a little girl.

• 31:39Speaker 03

  Uh, Ludenville dog breeder hit with 10 charges, including animal cruelty and bestiality.

• 31:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Now, we haven't chosen to cover bestiality in a while, okay?

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 31:48Henry Zebrowski?

  And it's the reason why we're even covering this is because it's Amish people.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:52Henry Zebrowski?

  And if we weren't covering it, we wouldn't cover it if it was just normal people. The reason why we're covering it is because the man has the, truly, like, it's, it's cause of the facial hair.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  It's the same thing. Except he, except he took it to another level. He has no mustache and below, his beard goes, starts below the soul patch.

• 32:11Henry Zebrowski?

  His face, including here.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  Like, see, the other guy, he's in Virginia. This guy, he's like, he's more Georgia. He's like, he's-

• 32:19Henry Zebrowski?

  No, he's Ohio.

• 32:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, I know, but I'm talking about his facial hair.

• 32:22Henry Zebrowski?

  See, this is-

• 32:23Speaker 03

  His facial hair looks like he's-

• 32:24Henry Zebrowski?

  There's something with Amish guys. I forget it means something. It means something to not shave the lip. Or just shave the lip, or like something like that. It means something. I don't know what it means, but this guy's haircut, cause he's got full bangs. Amish love bangs. And they love, they love that fu- full bowl cut. They get a bowl cut and then his beard looks like a tongue.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:48Henry Zebrowski?

  Hanging off of his, his chin. Um, alright, so this is, so they, Amish men grow beards after they're married. They continue to shave their upper lip as to not grow a mustache. When the Amish community was formed in Switzerland, mustaches were associated with military service. And the Amish shave theirs to indicate their commitment to fas- to passism.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  Interesting. Well, that's great.

• 33:09Henry Zebrowski?

  Who gives a fucking shit?

• 33:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, who gives a shit?

• 33:11Henry Zebrowski?

  Thank you, Rob.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  Thank you, Rob.

• 33:12Henry Zebrowski?

  That's not your fault. That's not your fault. That we're not saying-

• 33:14Speaker 03

  You didn't write it.

• 33:15Henry Zebrowski?

  You didn't, yeah.

• 33:16Speaker 03

  You didn't write it.

• 33:16Henry Zebrowski?

  It's just fake shit. It's just dumb fake shit. You know, it's just Amish people-

• 33:21Speaker 03

  Cause they're friendly. That's basically what it is.

• 33:23Henry Zebrowski?

  Making up fucking rules. They're not friendly, okay? The Amish have a distinct issue with child molestation. They have a distinct issue with drug traveling, drug trafficking and human trafficking. We will eventually do an entire exposure of the Amish community. That is my goal.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:39Henry Zebrowski?

  Is to do a big series on the Amish community because it is from, cause the Mennonites, it's another example of a religion that's taking it way too far back.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:49Henry Zebrowski?

  And I know a lot of people that are Mennonites that got out and love to hear from you, side stories, L P O T L at gmail dot com. Because it is a fascinating thing. It's like what we were learning about Jehovah's Witnesses, where they're actually, I'm gonna say this in a gent, maybe, gently?

• 34:06Speaker 03

  It doesn't matter. I don't think they listen.

• 34:07Henry Zebrowski?

  They're way more evil than we thought they were.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  Jehovah's Witness?

• 34:10Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, Jehovah's Witnesses are like, way more evil on the inside.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  I thought they were just stupid, but it's evil.

• 34:15Henry Zebrowski?

  They are, well, it's cause another example of like, just like the Mormons, where they have that layer of, uh, ambition slash, they think they're better than everybody else.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:26Henry Zebrowski?

  So the Jehovah's Witnesses also have an entire end game for our civilization that doesn't include us, just like the Mormons.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:33Henry Zebrowski?

  So it is, it is fascinating.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  Did you see the, um, arrest, uh, the, the body cam footage of this guy getting arrested?

• 34:40Henry Zebrowski?

  No, what did they do? Did he not yell at the camera? I thought that, cause you know, Amish people, they're not supposed to get their pictures taken because it means their souls get taken.

• 34:47Speaker 03

  Well, he, they, his family was blurred, but they were a part of, they were a part of it. The cop showed up and he's like-

• 34:52Henry Zebrowski?

  You'll take that demon, uh, you'll take that demon device away from my face, English.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Sir, you, uh, admitted to me personally that you had sex with these dogs.

• 35:03Henry Zebrowski?

  That's my dog.

• 35:06Henry Zebrowski?

  That's my dog. It was bleeding. It was bleeding from its choochy hole. I was giving it a baby.

• 35:16Henry Zebrowski?

  I thought it was my wife. Do you think that they fucked the dogs because they thought that it would be better than fucking just women, that they would be cheating?

• 35:23Speaker 03

  I don't understand why anyone would wanna have sex with a dog.

• 35:29Henry Zebrowski?

  That's good, Eddie.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  I just don't get it.

• 35:31Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm really glad.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  I, you know, like-

• 35:32Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm glad, yeah, if you even thought for a second that it would make sense.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  A dolphin?

• 35:37Henry Zebrowski?

  We'd have to fire you.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  What about a dolphin?

• 35:39Henry Zebrowski?

  No, nothing that doesn't have human genitalia.

• 35:44Speaker 03

  Okay, I thought you were gonna say ears.

• 35:45Henry Zebrowski?

  No. Cause a human can lose its ears and they're still fuckable.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  You're right, you're right.

• 35:50Henry Zebrowski?

  Totally viable.

• 35:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:52Henry Zebrowski?

  Human can lose pretty much most of its parts, except for the holes and still be viable. You, and still be, in terms of like, have some sex appeal.

• 36:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:00Henry Zebrowski?

  Like, there are peep, women, women here, this might get me off on a tangent, that have no arms and no legs, that still probably you'd consider like, hot.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  Yeah. Why not?

• 36:14Henry Zebrowski?

  Here's this Susan Terrell.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  I have no idea who that is, but that's just beautiful.

• 36:17Henry Zebrowski?

  In Blood.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 36:18Henry Zebrowski?

  They're recovering for our movie stories.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:20Henry Zebrowski?

  Um, and Susan Terrell that plays, um, she's Jackie in Flesh and Blood.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  Yes, okay.

• 36:26Henry Zebrowski?

  She's my sister in Flesh and Blood. Um, uh, the, the soused prostitute that is filled with child.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  She's great in that movie.

• 36:37Henry Zebrowski?

  Susan Terrell, uh, she lost her legs.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Really?

• 36:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Not, not-

• 36:41Speaker 03

  After this movie?

• 36:42Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, not on accident. She lost her legs by disease. They had to chop her legs off.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  Well, that's still kind of an accident.

• 36:48Henry Zebrowski?

  But-

• 36:49Speaker 03

  That's not on purpose.

• 36:50Henry Zebrowski?

  But she was still pretty attractive from just the nubs up.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  Of course. Why wouldn't she be? She's always been a beautiful woman.

• 36:59Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm just saying it's possible, like, in that way.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  I think that's great. This is a whole new chapter for you.

• 37:05Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm not, it is not a new chapter. It's not a new chapter of my life. I'm just saying that

• 37:13Henry Zebrowski?

  facts are.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:14Henry Zebrowski?

  That's what I was trying to get back. That's why people shouldn't have sex with dogs.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Now, they're saying having sex with a person with no arms, no legs is ju- is better.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  Can I ask a difficult question?

• 37:23Henry Zebrowski?

  Great.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  Now, these dogs that were molested by this man.

• 37:29Henry Zebrowski?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:29Speaker 03

  Eventually, they're gonna have to be adopted.

• 37:31Henry Zebrowski?

  They do, yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  Would you adopt a sexually abused dog?

• 37:36Henry Zebrowski?

  What do you think? Do you think that it's gonna be like in Poison Ivy? Or it's just gonna be all fucking traumatized, so it's gonna seduce the family?

• 37:44Speaker 03

  It's definitely gonna be traumatized. There's no question about that.

• 37:46Henry Zebrowski?

  There's actually, this is a big deal amongst the community of people.

• 37:49Speaker 03

  What are you, what are you supposed to do?

• 37:51Henry Zebrowski?

  People do rescue the dogs and people do adopt the dogs. I would absolutely adopt the dogs.

• 37:55Speaker 03

  And do they all, do all these dogs go to the same person? Like, is there like, uh, an abused home for dogs that are abused sexually?

• 38:03Henry Zebrowski?

  Side stories, L P O T L at gmail dot com.

• 38:05Speaker 03

  Unfortunately, I, I just something, it's a question that popped in my head and I, as someone who fosters dogs.

• 38:13Henry Zebrowski?

  Believe.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  I imagine they wouldn't tell me.

• 38:16Henry Zebrowski?

  I do believe they'll.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  I don't think it's on the foster to necessarily tell me that someone molested that dog. I would say I think it's none of my business.

• 38:26Henry Zebrowski?

  But it could be because the dog might have traumatized behavior because of it. So that's the only thing you might have to deal with helping to fix a dog's traumatized behavior.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  They all have traumatized behavior.

• 38:37Henry Zebrowski?

  Not my dogs.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Every dog I've had is got deep trauma. Ernie's got deep trauma.

• 38:41Henry Zebrowski?

  My dogs are aggressive.

• 38:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:44Henry Zebrowski?

  They don't have trauma.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  See, my dogs are sweet, but they got trauma.

• 38:47Henry Zebrowski?

  See, my dogs don't have trauma. They just know they're better than other dogs.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know someone did something bad to Ernie. I think someone threw Ernie.

• 38:56Henry Zebrowski?

  You're doing what my mom does about my dad.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:58Henry Zebrowski?

  You know how many times I had to deal with on vacation, my mom saying stuff like, you think your father was gay?

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't ask you. I told you.

• 39:07Henry Zebrowski?

  Do you think your father was molested? That's why he was sexually frozen? It's like, Mom, I'm blowing my brains out. Okay, if we talk about this one more time, I'm gonna fucking commit suicide on vacation. It's like, I'm just saying, it was just, he lost interest in sex. It's like, I don't, I'm gonna fuck and throw you, I'm gonna throw myself off a cliff. So I don't know, but it's not like she's, again, there was nothing to do about that because of my father.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  If she was a cigarette, you probably would have loved her.

• 39:34Henry Zebrowski?

  He really would have loved her because then she'd be, she'd be gone in four seconds.

• 39:39Henry Zebrowski?

  But this is, that's why a lot of uncomfortable questions we've just raised, side stories, LPOTL, Gmail, it'll come. I'm leaving that to you.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, let us know.

• 39:47Henry Zebrowski?

  Because you know, I know you're gonna be upset. Everyone's gonna be upset, I, but.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  I'm upset.

• 39:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Eddie's upset.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:53Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm not. I just want you to know that this is, you know, that we're really just covering it because we're making fun of the way that guy looked. And we really entered into a bunch of different discussions. And I think that this next story is also a great example about why we had, why we even do the show.

• 40:08Speaker 03

  Is this a nice one or a sad one?

• 40:10Henry Zebrowski?

  What do you mean? So this one is, what do you mean? Uh, this is a, I think it's a really funny story.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  Okay, let's do it.

• 40:18Henry Zebrowski?

  And I think it's gonna bring up interesting conversation.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  All right.

• 40:21Henry Zebrowski?

  So, uh, an MMA fighter. Um, they are a person by the name of this, this, this young man. Uh, I believe his name is.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Cole Johnson.

• 40:31Henry Zebrowski?

  Cole, Cole Johnson?

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's one and O. He's a new fighter.

• 40:34Henry Zebrowski?

  He's a new fighter. They've been putting up this thing. Apparently they've been putting up 500 grand possibly. For him to fight a chimp.

• 40:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:43Henry Zebrowski?

  Now, there's a lot of people, obviously, are gonna disagree with this. So, uh, first of all, the guy's saying.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  It was supposed to happen on September 11th.

• 40:52Henry Zebrowski?

  Which, to be honest, is such a missed opportunity. And I'm, I'm angry that it didn't happen on September 11th. I feel like that the fact that it didn't happen on September 11th, it shouldn't happen.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:03Henry Zebrowski?

  And then it should only happen on September 11th. Because this is my view, if we are currently in a world where the White House lawn can have a UFC match just like bulldozed into it.

• 41:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:18Henry Zebrowski?

  I think this man can fight a chimp for 500 grand. And I think the reason why that is, is because I think that we have all, we've, we've passed the Rubicon now. I think we're on the other side to another part of the American experience. And I think that there's a way to find out if the chimp consented.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:35Henry Zebrowski?

  I think there's a way to find a chimp that wants to fight humans. That obviously wants to fight. We know that there's aggressive chimps, right? We know that they turn aggressive at a certain age, right? They're not supposed to be around people at a certain age.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:49Henry Zebrowski?

  Cole's already asked for certain factors, like can the, the entire ring be surrounded by people with tranquilizer darts? To save his life, right?

• 41:58Speaker 03

  But, you know, I feel like.

• 42:00Henry Zebrowski?

  The chimp's life, the chimp, his life.

• 42:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:02Henry Zebrowski?

  From the chimp.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  I feel like if you're gonna do that. They should also shoot him if he's winning.

• 42:07Henry Zebrowski?

  I agree. Uh, so I'm with you. I'm with you. There's no way he's gonna win.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  If there's darts for the chimp, there should be darts for the man.

• 42:16Henry Zebrowski?

  We are paying money to watch a chimp rip a man to shreds.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 42:21Henry Zebrowski?

  That's what this is about. So he's not gonna beat the chimp. There's no way he's gonna beat the chimp.

• 42:26Speaker 03

  Basically, Cole was in an interview where he said that he could fight a chimp and he really believed that he could beat a chimpanzee. He's jacked. He's really big. I'm not gonna say he's not huge.

• 42:36Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, of course, I know.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  He doesn't have a chance against a chimpanzee. Here's what I, we probably should have talked about this a little bit beforehand. He's come out and said the whole thing was a publicity stunt.

• 42:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Sure, of course. Yeah, yeah, but I'm not, we're past this.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:48Henry Zebrowski?

  No, no, now I wanna book this because I think that we, I feel that if this is a thing, we're, we as a country can demand this now because of where we're at. We can say that that chimp is allowed to rip that man to shreds and we can all buy tickets to watch it do that. And I think that that's okay. And I, but the chimp does need to consent and the chimp does need to know it's going in there to fight the other man. And I think that there's a way to communicate it to the chimp.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  You think so?

• 43:17Henry Zebrowski?

  And I think that there's a way, I, again, I might be wrong.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  I think the only way that you could fight a chimp and it'd be okay is if it's a wild one.

• 43:24Henry Zebrowski?

  That's, or it's.

• 43:25Speaker 03

  You have to go, you, there, no ring. You go into the jungle and you find one.

• 43:30Henry Zebrowski?

  That's unfair.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  No, that's, to me, that's the only way it should be allowed.

• 43:34Henry Zebrowski?

  Can't a chimp be trained to fight?

• 43:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:37Henry Zebrowski?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  But you're not going to.

• 43:39Henry Zebrowski?

  But train a chimp.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  Now you're talking about the plot of the first, uh, Planet of the Apes.

• 43:47Henry Zebrowski?

  I don't think that's wrong. Give him a shot. We have yet to train them.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:53Henry Zebrowski?

  I know that we made up guns, right? We made up guns and we figured out how to use them ourselves, but should we not now train apes and chimps to use guns? And to train them to fight? Because we could give them that back? We should give them that back.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  They're coming straight for you.

• 44:12Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, I'm not.

• 44:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're not gonna teach them how to fight.

• 44:15Henry Zebrowski?

  No, I'm not gonna be anywhere near them. I'll, you know, that's not where I'm going.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Until they start spreading. And then we start getting dumber and then they take us over five generations from now.

• 44:22Henry Zebrowski?

  Don't they like rip your nuts off first?

• 44:24Speaker 03

  That's insane. Anything that's hanging.

• 44:26Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, they're gonna rip your face off.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  They go for the nose, the eyes, the ears.

• 44:29Henry Zebrowski?

  Choose your hands.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  Your, your fingers, your toes.

• 44:32Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, these be over like so fast.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  They try to, uh, but you know, the thing is, you would probably put a helmet on the chimp to try to like, keep it from biting. Uh, but here's the thing. Cole Johnson has, has come out and said that this was never gonna happen. And he's redirected all of his fans that were gonna buy tickets to this to, um, support the Jane Goodall fund.

• 44:50Henry Zebrowski?

  Honestly, I, again, Eddie, I think that's truly wonderful.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:53Henry Zebrowski?

  I still think we can do the fight and give all the money to charity.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I mean, obviously.

• 44:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Do the fight and give all the money to charity.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  If you're gonna do the fight, you gotta put it back in the chimpanzees.

• 45:03Henry Zebrowski?

  I know I'm gonna get a lot of flack on this. I'm just saying, of all the things, I think that we should, I'm, I'm fighting for the chimp.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:10Henry Zebrowski?

  Give the chimp the opportunity to kill a human with impunity. Give it the opportunity to do it.

• 45:18Speaker 03

  But then it's gonna get a taste for blood.

• 45:19Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  And then it's gonna kill him again.

• 45:21Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 45:22Speaker 03

  That's the problem.

• 45:23Henry Zebrowski?

  No, because the thing is, other MMA guys then will continue to challenge him.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  It won't be other MMA guys. It'll be his keeper.

• 45:30Henry Zebrowski?

  Or maybe it'll be Baron Trump.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  You never know.

• 45:32Henry Zebrowski?

  How funny would that be?

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, if that's how he goes out.

• 45:34Henry Zebrowski?

  God, that'd be so much fun.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  It would more likely be one of the other brothers who, uh, who go and poach all the time.

• 45:40Henry Zebrowski?

  They're gonna die of a drug overdose any day now.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  I hope so.

• 45:43Henry Zebrowski?

  So let us go to another story. We'll see how this goes. We'll see how this plays out.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  Can, there's one, there's a story that.

• 45:49Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm not really against, I don't want people to just hurt random chimps. I'm saying I want a chimp that can consent.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, you just know that the chimp doesn't have a chance at getting hurt.

• 45:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, of course. No, the chimp is gonna win.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, the chimp doesn't, yeah, it can't get hurt.

• 46:01Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, you could, you can clock him a couple of times in the head, but yeah, so what?

• 46:05Speaker 03

  If, if this fight did happen, which it's not, I imagine he, the chimp would be sitting there, the guy would punch it once and then he would just get ripped to shreds.

• 46:12Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, that'd be awesome.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, until we see it. And then it would just be horrifying.

• 46:17Henry Zebrowski?

  I guess.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  It's like when you rent Faces of Death. You know, and then you're like, oh, I can't wait to get home and watch this. So then you put it in the VHS player, you're like, oh.

• 46:25Henry Zebrowski?

  Dude, I just bought the new 4K.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  Of Faces of Death?

• 46:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  How old are you?

• 46:32Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, I bought it.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  You bought the original?

• 46:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  For, they made it into 4K?

• 46:37Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  It was like VHSs back in the day.

• 46:40Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, dude.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  They can't make that out of the 4K.

• 46:42Henry Zebrowski?

  No, dude, it was fucking awesome. I think I did it, I forgot who did it. It was, uh, not Terror Vision. It might have been Severin? It might have been Severin Films. It was great.

• 46:51Speaker 03

  Really?

• 46:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 46:53Henry Zebrowski?

  I just like having stuff now.

• 46:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, you just, well, you, now you're, you have a collection.

• 46:57Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  At this point.

• 46:58Henry Zebrowski?

  It's vinegar syndrome.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Uh, it's vinegar syndrome.

• 46:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, okay.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  They're great. Vinegar Syndrome, go check them out. You didn't accidentally buy the new shitty movie, did you?

• 47:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Uh, no, I made it through about halfway, the new shitty movie. I watched half of it.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 47:08Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, it was not good.

• 47:09Speaker 03

  It was awful.

• 47:09Henry Zebrowski?

  But also, it was one of those with the new one, it was, um, that movie just. You know, it went into slasher world and I'm not big into slashers unless it's Halloween and we're, we'll talk all about that then.

• 47:22Henry Zebrowski?

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• 48:07Henry Zebrowski?

  all 50 states. When I got Carmy and Wendy's progress reports back this year, the hardest part was knowing that Carmy bit the janitor. But IXL has really helped her on her biology. And I feel like that's the thing here, is that, yeah, it's not necessarily going after their behavioral issues, because Carmy's also, she did pedal inside, Wendy did poo poo inside of her English teacher's classroom. She did do a little tiny hard poop, but they're easy to clean, they're little poops. But she is doing well on her paper for the Canterbury Tales. And that's all because of IXL. So, thank you so much, IXL. Keep our puppies,

• 48:47Henry Zebrowski?

  I mean children, learning and growing each day. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now. And Last Podcast on the Left listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com/left. Visit ixl.com/left to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.

• 49:10Henry Zebrowski?

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• 49:48Henry Zebrowski?

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• 50:32Henry Zebrowski?

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• 50:54Henry Zebrowski?

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• 51:39Henry Zebrowski?

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• 52:27Speaker 03

  There was another story that came out on September 11th that, this is a, to me, I like this story. I think this is a no-one-get-hurt type of story.

• 52:36Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, nice.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  Um, so I, but it's interesting. There was a, a drug dealer in Minnesota, he got, recently got caught. His name is Andy Silencia. He's 27 years old. He got caught dealing mushrooms and weed, lots of them, like pounds and pounds and pounds.

• 52:52Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, like he was doing weight.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. But he had a, he started, he was, he's young, he started out, he's new, new drug dealer on the block. Uh, but he had a, a customer, a customer loyalty card.

• 53:05Henry Zebrowski?

  So this is objectively funny.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  Which is an idea that I had when I was selling weed. This is an idea, obviously, I never followed through with it. And I didn't follow through with it, not because I was scared to get caught, because I, you know, I just don't follow through.

• 53:17Henry Zebrowski?

  You didn't feel those feelings, yeah, yeah.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I said, yeah, I just didn't do it.

• 53:20Henry Zebrowski?

  No, no. This is the issue. And I'm going to say this to all of our, our drug dealers, above the board or not, is that it's awesome. I think it's really amazing. The problem with doing it is that if you're in an illegal place, it puts it in writing.

• 53:33Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:34Henry Zebrowski?

  And the second, that's why it's like, what you do with this, this is my advice to drug dealers, do this program, because it's really fun.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Name the card something else.

• 53:43Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Name it.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  Sandwich, pretend you're selling sandwiches.

• 53:47Henry Zebrowski?

  Flower shop, even just like a-

• 53:49Speaker 03

  I think that's what he did. I think that's what he actually wrote.

• 53:50Henry Zebrowski?

  No, well, it's his daddy's plan. It's like, it literally is weed. It's Flower Daddy with him holding all these, it's AI things with him holding weed plants.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  And a mushroom.

• 53:58Henry Zebrowski?

  And a fucking mushroom. So it is, it is very silly and fun. I don't like that it's AI.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  No, well, I mean, what do we expect?

• 54:05Henry Zebrowski?

  I don't know.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  Here's what I think about this guy. I think this is a hiccup in a man who's going to make millions of dollars in his life.

• 54:13Henry Zebrowski?

  I completely agree, Eddie.

• 54:14Speaker 03

  I think that he's got a great future.

• 54:16Henry Zebrowski?

  That is an American, a true American.

• 54:18Speaker 03

  I think that he had a, he had a good idea that turned out to be a horrible idea.

• 54:22Henry Zebrowski?

  I completely agree with you.

• 54:23Speaker 03

  And then I think that he's on, I think he's gonna, there's a hiccup, he's gonna serve his time, he's gonna get in a little bit of trouble. Also, don't like that his bail is more than the high school principal.

• 54:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, really? Well, that's like an exact-

• 54:38Speaker 03

  I don't enjoy, I don't enjoy that.

• 54:39Henry Zebrowski?

  It is an exact example of where we consider certain crimes in this country, which is hilarious, that your people are still being busted for fucking selling weed, just because he didn't give the, the government, they're fucking vague.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, it's more tax evasion than they're like mad at him for doing anything bad.

• 54:55Henry Zebrowski?

  That's all it ever is, and it's butthurt that the war on drugs is over.

• 54:59Speaker 03

  Yeah. So, Andy Silencia, I think, you know, don't worry about this, you're gonna be fine, you're gonna do a little time, nothing crazy, you're gonna get out. When you're in there, brainstorm.

• 55:09Henry Zebrowski?

  Apply these ideas.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  New businesses, all right? Do some reading, do some research. I can see you making a fuck-ton of money. You got good ideas.

• 55:17Henry Zebrowski?

  See a gap.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:19Henry Zebrowski?

  See a gap, fill a gap, right? Like, one thing I was thinking about, it's a place that is stools for women with BBLs.

• 55:27Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 55:28Henry Zebrowski?

  What you can do is a little stool park for women with big asses, right? Or something like that. It's just a spitball.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Where are you, where are you gonna put it?

• 55:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Downtown Atlanta.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  Not Burbank.

• 55:36Henry Zebrowski?

  No.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  Don't do it in Burbank.

• 55:38Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, my God. Oh, my fucking God. Honestly, though, if police want to catch him-

• 55:44Speaker 03

  We're opening Big Butt Park.

• 55:46Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, we should do a fucking sting. Big Butt, Big Butt Park. Big Butt Park, and we all go, and we set it all up with fake butts, and then we film them in the act, and then we hit them with a net.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. I'm gonna put a dress on Holden and a fake butt on him, and just have him walk through.

• 56:02Henry Zebrowski?

  I just had some Bob guys. Oh, wow. Oh, I go feel a bit of a rubly.

• 56:07Speaker 03

  He's just got a Taco Bell bag?

• 56:08Henry Zebrowski?

  Just a bit of a rubly in my tummy. I just ate some fresh greens from the super, I bought them from Bob's. And I ate a bunch of fresh tomatoes. I bought them from the bad store, bought them from the place that takes EBT. I went, I got all the stuff. I'm feeling super gassy.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  That'd be great. Yeah. Um, have you ever been to Buddy Burgers in Austin?

• 56:30Henry Zebrowski?

  No.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  Do you know, do you know what the special sauce is?

• 56:34Henry Zebrowski?

  No.

• 56:34Speaker 03

  It's come.

• 56:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Apparently. Oh, yes, these guys got arrested for putting come on the burgers, didn't they?

• 56:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:40Henry Zebrowski?

  You know, I, I always feel like that's a breach of trust that I won't ever get back.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:47Henry Zebrowski?

  The idea of like hurting my burger.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  No, man, I just, I couldn't help but like, the cook in me, like, the chef in me, can't help but feel really bad for Buddy's Burgers.

• 56:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, that they, they got fucked.

• 57:00Speaker 03

  Because they, no one's ever, I'm never gonna eat there.

• 57:02Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, never in a thousand years.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  Never in a thousand years when I eat there. And they, like, they, obviously, they hired this guy, they didn't cross their Ts and dot their Is.

• 57:10Henry Zebrowski?

  How do they, how do they do that?

• 57:12Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 57:12Henry Zebrowski?

  How do you make sure the guy's not got a come on the fucking burgers?

• 57:14Speaker 03

  I bet he has a record, and they probably didn't look for it.

• 57:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Hmm. Like a speed record for coming on burgers?

• 57:21Speaker 03

  If he had never come on anything and got caught before, then it's okay. But, uh, but, yeah, no, they're fucked.

• 57:28Henry Zebrowski?

  I don't think he did, Eddie.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:30Henry Zebrowski?

  Why is his dick out in this?

• 57:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, his dick out's a couple times. He's taken dicks, he's, he came on jalapenos.

• 57:35Henry Zebrowski?

  And see, it goes-

• 57:36Speaker 03

  He showed his dick to people he worked with, uh, and then he started posting it all over Reddit.

• 57:40Henry Zebrowski?

  Hmm, that's a big issue there.

• 57:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, and-

• 57:43Henry Zebrowski?

  In terms of you're trying to cover up your crimes. Because it's a pretty- Large social media website.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, and Buddy Burger, they're doing their best to, to put this down, but.

• 57:54Henry Zebrowski?

  It's not going anywhere.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, they, they even, they're responding to the, um, to the Reddit.

• 57:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Cause you know who's going there to now work? People who come on burgers.

• 58:02Speaker 03

  Oh, they're gonna be, it's gonna be hard for them.

• 58:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, now they just go stealth.

• 58:05Speaker 03

  They're gonna have to go to Torchy's Tacos.

• 58:07Henry Zebrowski?

  He always was stealth. But yeah, Torchy's Tacos. Yeah, they're on their way to Torchy's Tacos. I don't like Torchy's.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  So, um, Buddy's Burger.

• 58:15Henry Zebrowski?

  I'll never eat there now.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  What, Torchy's or Buddy Burger's?

• 58:17Henry Zebrowski?

  Buddy's Burger.

• 58:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so many good places to eat in Austin. These guys are fucked. They need to change the name. That's the only chance they got.

• 58:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, there's no reason to.

• 58:26Henry Zebrowski?

  The fusion Asian food.

• 58:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was so good.

• 58:29Henry Zebrowski?

  That was one of the best fucking things I've ever had.

• 58:32Speaker 03

  I wish I remember what it was called. It was like Asian sixty-six or something.

• 58:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, fuck it, that place was great.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  It was one of the better Thai restaurants I've ever been to.

• 58:39Henry Zebrowski?

  It was beef fucking, um, beef dumpling.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, but Buddy Burger, their response in the Reddit thread was, thank you for your assistance and making us aware of this. We are actively working with the police to ensure this individual is held accountable for his actions. This individual was a new hire who was terminated mid-shift from Buddy Burger on September first, twenty twenty-six. When an employee complained of indecent exposure was filed and addressed immediately.

• 59:04Henry Zebrowski?

  People already ate those burgers, man.

• 59:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, no, no. Here's the thing.

• 59:10Speaker 03

  How many people ate cum burgers?

• 59:12Henry Zebrowski?

  A dozen.

• 59:13Speaker 03

  You think so? Oh, yeah, because you can only come so much.

• 59:15Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah. I think that probably a dozen people ate burgers with cum on them, yeah.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  And like, there's no way to find out.

• 59:20Henry Zebrowski?

  No, nope. Absolutely not, because they probably, I mean, who knows? Unless you're somebody who eats a lot of cum, you might not know.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  No, I know, but there's no way to find out, like.

• 59:29Henry Zebrowski?

  Right, am I, yeah, like, I'm not even, I'm saying it seriously.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  Especially if you pay cash. They're not gonna be able to find out who, who's, who ate these cum burgers.

• 59:36Henry Zebrowski?

  This is a big thing. This is about Bitcoin, isn't it?

• 59:40Henry Zebrowski?

  This is bigger than this, huh? This is about the blockchain. That's what this is about. This is about anonymity. Nomonymonyminy. Right? That's the problem, right? They wanna know who's doing it.

• 59:48Speaker 03

  It's the cock chain.

• 59:49Henry Zebrowski?

  It's the cock chain. I, uh, unless you.

• 59:54Henry Zebrowski?

  Cause I've never consumed ejaculate.

• 59:56Speaker 03

  No.

• 59:57Henry Zebrowski?

  So I don't know. I don't know the taste of ejaculate. I can assume.

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  I bet you would know the moment you had it.

• 1:00:02Henry Zebrowski?

  I mean, I'd know it if I saw it slip, if I saw it slip, like, you know, flying through the air.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  Smelled it a bunch.

• 1:00:08Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, that's different.

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  It helps, though.

• 1:00:10Henry Zebrowski?

  But if you mix it in with the, the sauce, the donkey sauce, or the buddy sauce, whatever it is, which already sounds like cum.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, buddy sauce does sound like cum.

• 1:00:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Buddy sauce sounds like what you make when you go on a fishing trip with your old friend that you haven't seen twenty years. Uh, and you don't let your wife come.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, uh, poor Buddy Burger.

• 1:00:27Henry Zebrowski?

  Some buddy sauce.

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  They don't know what to do. They're swinging. They're just like, they're like.

• 1:00:31Henry Zebrowski?

  No, they're screwed.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're fucked.

• 1:00:33Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, dude, they're fucked. They should close down and remake it into another name.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're.

• 1:00:37Henry Zebrowski?

  They should literally just close the restaurant for a fucking week, make it a new sign, put a new sign on, and just try to start anew.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, stop, oh my god, is this one of the cum burgers?

• 1:00:48Henry Zebrowski?

  No, I just, it's just a big sloppy burger.

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  Just another burger from there, but it does look like it.

• 1:00:51Henry Zebrowski?

  But it does, it's like mayonnaise on it or something. This does look like a cum burger.

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  Well, it's just got, it's got, got him, it's on it.

• 1:00:58Henry Zebrowski?

  It looks like it's got cum.

• 1:01:00Speaker 03

  It just looks like a burger.

• 1:01:01Henry Zebrowski?

  You would never know.

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  Look at the light.

• 1:01:03Henry Zebrowski?

  You know, it's like, if you, if we weren't talking about cum on hamburgers, I would go like, mm.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Man.

• 1:01:11Henry Zebrowski?

  If I saw that, I'd be like, yum. But now that, now that we know, that's the problem, Eddie. That's the exact fucking problem. Is that now that I know that there was cum on one, I'll never be able to eat it again, because my first thought, it was like, mm. Cause I love mayonnaise.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  Oh my god, now the one-star reviews are piling in.

• 1:01:29Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, they're coming now. That's how it is. Well, soon as they, soon as they hate you for one thing, they're excited to jump on to hate you for everything else.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  Seems like people liked Buddy Burger before this incident, too. Like, they were, like, they were, like, doing okay.

• 1:01:43Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  They're fucked, man.

• 1:01:45Henry Zebrowski?

  I wonder if he was from McDonald's.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Oh, just like, like Buddy Burger's getting too big.

• 1:01:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Send him in.

• 1:01:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, you owe us.

• 1:01:53Henry Zebrowski?

  All I need you to do is spend a year or two in college, my friend. It will, it'll be here waiting for you on the other side, like in Goodfellas.

• 1:02:02Speaker 03

  Then Ronald McDonald picks him up from jail.

• 1:02:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, man. That's a good kid. That's a good fucking kid that you was there. That's not what you done, huh? Hey, don't worry, we'll take care of you.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  Oh, my god.

• 1:02:13Henry Zebrowski?

  Don't worry, so, hey, let me guess.

• 1:02:15Speaker 03

  Here's one.

• 1:02:15Henry Zebrowski?

  Jerking off in jail, ha, so like the.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  This is, this is on the Reddit, uh, WTF, ew, I was at Buddy's last weekend. I was there on Sunday, the thirtieth. Buddy's fired him on the first. I know I ate cum.

• 1:02:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Yep. Or maybe, or you just ate some ball hair. Cause I bet you he couldn't come a lot.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  No, unless he saved it. Oh, no. Buddy Burger's put up a post recently with, uh, with a new restaurant coming soon.

• 1:02:45Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, no.

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  Wrong change.

• 1:02:48Henry Zebrowski?

  Opening soon.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  Opening soon. You gotta change the verbiage.

• 1:02:54Henry Zebrowski?

  Change the verbiage, buddy.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  Coming before, opening now.

• 1:02:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, he also worked at an HEB grocery store.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  Disgusting.

• 1:03:01Henry Zebrowski?

  This isn't good. You know, a lot of people fraudage and do weird things at the grocery store. We've covered that over the years. I think there's a freedom inside of a grocery store for certain behaviors because there's a trust.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you should wash your vegetables when you get home.

• 1:03:16Henry Zebrowski?

  You're right.

• 1:03:18Henry Zebrowski?

  If this teaches you anything, wash your vegetables.

• 1:03:20Speaker 03

  Wash your cheeseburgers.

• 1:03:21Henry Zebrowski?

  Wash your cheeseburger. Wash your ribs. If you get a bunch of ribs, give them a good wash before you fucking talk into that. Dim sum, just because of what it rhymes with.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:32Henry Zebrowski?

  Rim cum.

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, or dim cum, yeah.

• 1:03:36Henry Zebrowski?

  It's been great.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  Dim sum the other day.

• 1:03:38Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah?

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  It was fine.

• 1:03:40Henry Zebrowski?

  I loved dim sum.

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  You know, I wish it was better. The, uh, alright, so we have a, we have a lady.

• 1:03:46Henry Zebrowski?

  Can't even fucking believe.

• 1:03:47Speaker 03

  So angry. No, the stuff I had, there's been good stuff.

• 1:03:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, of course, the stuff you had was bad.

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  Francisco's good. Uh, this Florida woman allegedly threw a bucket of shit on a neighbor.

• 1:03:57Henry Zebrowski?

  I mean, what does this even mean?

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  They shared a trailer, and this woman, her bathroom broke. And she thought that her neighbor, who that she shared a trailer with, I guess it's like a wall in the trailer, she thought she was fucking her husband. And she had this big bucket of shit because like she, her toilet wasn't working, and she went over to her house and threw the bucket shit on her. It's like, stop fucking my husband.

• 1:04:17Henry Zebrowski?

  I think that lady's got a lot more issues to deal with than, uh, her husband's infidelity.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  She's mean looking.

• 1:04:23Henry Zebrowski?

  She looks like the lady that kills people for the cartels.

• 1:04:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's mean looking lady.

• 1:04:27Henry Zebrowski?

  That is a lady, that is a mean looking lady who you know has got rancid poops.

• 1:04:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, this happened in Miami. Uh, we all know the plumbing down there. Can't, isn't the best sometimes, just because of, you know, swamp. It's hard to get rid, it's hard to get rid of it, you know, that kind of thing.

• 1:04:43Henry Zebrowski?

  Is it?

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:45Henry Zebrowski?

  It really is a problem. With poo-poos and, and pee-pees in Miami?

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  Some places, when, if you're in a bad enough area, it starts rising.

• 1:04:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Side stories, L P O T L at gmail dot com. What's your poo-poo problem in Miami?

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  There are schools that are sinking into the marsh, like, there are places that are sinking into the earth in Miami.

• 1:05:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Wow.

• 1:05:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:05Henry Zebrowski?

  I know, we're gonna lose it. When we lose Miami is when we're finally gonna do some weird things about the climate.

• 1:05:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, cause no one's gonna say shit when New Orleans goes.

• 1:05:12Henry Zebrowski?

  No, cause they're all like, mm.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, we, we saw how much they didn't care during Katrina.

• 1:05:16Henry Zebrowski?

  Nope.

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then so like, and so, but that, yeah, New Orleans is gonna be first, and it's gonna be Miami or Charleston. If Charleston goes, I bet people flip out more, unfortunately.

• 1:05:25Henry Zebrowski?

  That's horrible.

• 1:05:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:27Henry Zebrowski?

  Charleston can go.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  Charleston can go.

• 1:05:29Henry Zebrowski?

  Not New Orleans.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  I was, I was, oh, New Orleans is a wonderful place. I don't enjoy Charleston. Well, last time I was in Charleston, the, we, we were driving, and then the water, the ocean came in like three blocks.

• 1:05:40Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  And then we were driving, I'm like, oh my god, what's this? Like, oh, it's the ocean. They were all casual about it. And they're like, what do you mean? They're like, ah, the moon's out. I was like, what do you mean? What are you talking about?

• 1:05:49Henry Zebrowski?

  Moon's always out.

• 1:05:50Speaker 03

  Moon's always out.

• 1:05:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, the moon's just there. It doesn't go away.

• 1:05:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, the moon's out, so the ocean comes into our city.

• 1:05:55Henry Zebrowski?

  You're just saying stuff. That's a person just saying stuff. That person has a, a level of, maybe, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like they have a sort of ancient view of the powers of the moon.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:06Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, this is, uh, bad, Eddie.

• 1:06:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, she's in trouble. She's in jail, too. There's another guy right down the street from her in Doral. Uh, this is an interesting story. He was arrested in a hotel room for hiding under someone's bed the entire night.

• 1:06:19Henry Zebrowski?

  See, this is interesting because it sounds like he was sneaking. It sounds like he was in Assassin's Creed.

• 1:06:25Speaker 03

  It sounds like he didn't do anything to these people.

• 1:06:28Henry Zebrowski?

  No, he was just sleeping.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  And he did break, he did break and enter. He was kicked off the property like earlier in the week. The guy came back, got kicked off again, and then came back, snuck in through the back door, went under the bed. These people checked into their room, slept the entire night, with this guy below them.

• 1:06:44Henry Zebrowski?

  So this is, okay, I'm gonna say, again, this is another controversial statement I'm gonna make on today's episode that we will have reverberations of for years.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:06:53Henry Zebrowski?

  My view here is because he didn't rape and murder them. He was just sleeping, which means he was just trying to find a place to sleep, maybe hiding from somebody, or maybe just literally looking for a place to sleep.

• 1:07:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:09Henry Zebrowski?

  The fact that he didn't touch them or their things while he was asleep, or while they were asleep, to me shows the man was just trying to sleep.

• 1:07:18Speaker 03

  He is charged with burglary.

• 1:07:20Henry Zebrowski?

  He has, he should, because he's still breaking and entering, I guess.

• 1:07:22Speaker 03

  But that's not burglary.

• 1:07:23Henry Zebrowski?

  Unless he did steal stuff from them, we don't know. He could have stolen some stuff.

• 1:07:26Speaker 03

  Say that anything's missing.

• 1:07:27Henry Zebrowski?

  Even just the fact that he didn't be, this is how damaged this show has made me. The fact that he didn't suck on their feet, the fact that he didn't jerk off on the blankets, the fact that he didn't fucking just stab them to death while they were sleeping. The fact that he didn't hold like with a woman at knife point while he was raping the father, like, there's so many things he could have done. And he didn't. And to me, that shows restraint.

• 1:07:51Speaker 03

  I think this is like a person who obviously is suffering from deep mental health issues and has no money.

• 1:07:56Henry Zebrowski?

  And, but also thankfully has enough impulse control to not do something so fucked up.

• 1:08:02Speaker 03

  He just wanted to sleep.

• 1:08:03Henry Zebrowski?

  He just was trying to sleep.

• 1:08:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:04Henry Zebrowski?

  But also, this is one of those fun things that like, what I love, is like, you know how many times you're like in a hotel with your loved one? Or with your wife and she'll say something like, I don't know how you deal with this. Like sometimes like something like you think something scary is happening, but then you as like the, the guy in the scenario in this, in our scenario and our set scenarios, we're very much like, don't worry, I'm certain everything's fine. And then like we just stay scared and we let them go to sleep nice. So I could see this style of thing.

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  I just get up and look really fast.

• 1:08:36Henry Zebrowski?

  That's what I do. I always.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  And assume that if someone's there, they'll just kill me because I'm defenseless.

• 1:08:40Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes, exactly. Uh, so I assume that the wife at some point was like, do you think that there's somebody sleeping under the bed?

• 1:08:46Speaker 03

  And then they looked under the bed and there was someone there.

• 1:08:48Henry Zebrowski?

  You see, well, I would go, but that's easy. Husband, you know, you do though, unfortunately on vacation. No, well, no, the first thing you do is deny and say.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  No, you're wrong, baby. You're incorrect.

• 1:08:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Everything's okay. We're just trying to go to sleep.

• 1:09:01Speaker 03

  Why don't you go get a soda?

• 1:09:02Henry Zebrowski?

  You know?

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  And then you're like, hey buddy, come on, get out of here.

• 1:09:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Come on, get the fuck out of here. Scare my wife. Just get out of here. Scare buddy. But I feel like if you looked, but then you look under the bed, but you never really look under the bed. Because if you were to look under the bed and he, guess what you'd see? The monster.

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, the monster. In this case, there was one.

• 1:09:19Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 1:09:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:19Henry Zebrowski?

  But that's gotta, and that would, where maybe things could have went south, but because everybody went to sleep. Everything was fine.

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  And I will say, not violent.

• 1:09:29Henry Zebrowski?

  Not violent.

• 1:09:30Speaker 03

  He's not violent.

• 1:09:31Henry Zebrowski?

  And that's my only thing that's a saving grace for him.

• 1:09:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:09:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Is the fact that he's nonviolent. I don't know if he's been prosecuted for other crimes.

• 1:09:39Speaker 03

  It seems like he might've. He has a, he definitely has a record.

• 1:09:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes. So he didn't murder these people. And to me, that's a good sign.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  Yeah. Improvement.

• 1:09:47Henry Zebrowski?

  As improvement.

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's just crashing.

• 1:09:49Henry Zebrowski?

  That's all. He's just sleeping. He's just dreaming.

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  You know?

• 1:09:53Henry Zebrowski?

  No one's under the bed. They didn't need under the bed.

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  Okay. Now, I want to do a quick recap of today. We got the guy who, we, we got, we got the, the old man who got, who is too, can't stand trial.

• 1:10:05Henry Zebrowski?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:10:05Speaker 03

  All right.

• 1:10:06Henry Zebrowski?

  Eyeballs are too far apart for him to be competent enough to do crimes.

• 1:10:09Speaker 03

  That's right. And then we got the, the guy, the, the Confederate general who, school principal who's looking at little girls.

• 1:10:14Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, funny beard, funny little mustache.

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  And then we got the guy who's breeding and fucking dogs, the Amish guy.

• 1:10:19Henry Zebrowski?

  No mustache, funny beard.

• 1:10:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, we have the, we have the guy who is, uh, wants to fight a chimpanzee.

• 1:10:25Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 1:10:25Speaker 03

  Cole Johnson.

• 1:10:26Henry Zebrowski?

  Clean shaven.

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  Who actually turned out to be not too horrible.

• 1:10:29Henry Zebrowski?

  Not even that horrible. Not even that horrible.

• 1:10:31Speaker 03

  And then we had, um, then we had the next guy after that. We had the drug dealer with the card.

• 1:10:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Yep.

• 1:10:35Speaker 03

  And then we had the lady who threw shit at people. And then we had the cum burger boy. And then the guy sleeping under the bed. Who's your least favorite person?

• 1:10:42Henry Zebrowski?

  Cum burger boy.

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

  Cum burger boy is the worst person, right?

• 1:10:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Cum burger boy is the worst one of all.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  Dog fucker.

• 1:10:46Henry Zebrowski?

  Hmm. Yo.

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  And the old man, I mean, we don't know what his crimes are. The old man could have old school, like deep seated crimes.

• 1:10:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, he killed somebody in Korea.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, he, uh, the old man's probably the worst human, but he's, you can't, you can't even punish him anymore.

• 1:10:59Henry Zebrowski?

  He's locked in now.

• 1:10:59Speaker 03

  He's a ghost.

• 1:11:00Henry Zebrowski?

  He can't, yeah. I think cum burger boy, only just because that is a sacred trust one has with their fast food restaurant.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:08Henry Zebrowski?

  That you won't hurt me in this process.

• 1:11:09Speaker 03

  That you won't, there won't be cum on this.

• 1:11:10Henry Zebrowski?

  You know, the Confederate general videotaping the girls pee pee holes.

• 1:11:15Speaker 03

  Him the most.

• 1:11:16Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, he, I don't, but I think the worst crime is the cum burger. In real life, he's the worst, worst guy.

• 1:11:22Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:11:22Henry Zebrowski?

  We, you get like butt sniffers already kinda in, in, to another level.

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  He's been good for us.

• 1:11:27Henry Zebrowski?

  In real life, he's been great for us. We've known, we, all we do, we print money on the Burbank butt sniffer guy. That's fucking huge for us. The Confederate general high school principal is the worst person. The cum burger guy is the worst crime.

• 1:11:42Speaker 03

  Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:44Henry Zebrowski?

  For me. And so that makes him the worst person.

• 1:11:46Speaker 03

  Who deserves the worst beating?

• 1:11:48Henry Zebrowski?

  You know, I think that you could very ostensibly give a whale hardcore on both.

• 1:11:55Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:11:56Henry Zebrowski?

  Uh, the thing is, is that the Confederate general guy is gonna just get worse. I do feel like you could beat this behavior out of cum burger boy.

• 1:12:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:12:06Henry Zebrowski?

  I feel like you could beat the behavior out of him. But that would require like taking him just to the brink of death.

• 1:12:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:15Henry Zebrowski?

  And it would require a pointed series of lessons.

• 1:12:18Speaker 03

  To put a tube in him and shit.

• 1:12:19Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah. That's a big Paul Verhoeven thing too, you notice, right?

• 1:12:22Speaker 03

  What, tubing?

• 1:12:23Henry Zebrowski?

  Putting tubes of a guy's butts.

• 1:12:25Speaker 03

  It is, isn't it?

• 1:12:26Henry Zebrowski?

  It's in like three movies.

• 1:12:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. He likes things like that. Check out movie stories.

• 1:12:30Henry Zebrowski?

  Check out movie stories. It's over on Patreon. We're covering Paul Verhoeven films.

• 1:12:34Speaker 03

  Do we have, do we have any new listener mail or are we keeping the old, uh, collective soul one? Cause people seem to love.

• 1:12:39Henry Zebrowski?

  I love that butt rock one.

• 1:12:40Speaker 03

  I got another one. Let's keep it. We got so many. I feel bad if we don't play some of these. Well, I want, I want you to randomly bring the collective soul one back one day.

• 1:12:47Henry Zebrowski?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:12:48Speaker 03

  Put it on a cycle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:50Henry Zebrowski?

  I got you. I got you.

• 1:12:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, keep that one. Don't, go and get rid of that. And keep that reggae one too, cause I want to hear that again eventually.

• 1:12:55Henry Zebrowski?

  We can, you know, make a little album for you at the end.

• 1:12:58Speaker 03

  You have to go on a cycle.

• 1:12:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Uh, I'll do that for you. All right. Here's a new one.

• 1:13:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:01Henry Zebrowski?

  Uh, this one is from Colt Burkett. Um, let's play it. Here we go.

• 1:13:31Speaker 03

  That's fun as fuck.

• 1:13:33Henry Zebrowski?

  Satan. Thank you, fellas.

• 1:13:35Speaker 03

  God, I love the rock ones.

• 1:13:37Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they mean it.

• 1:13:39Speaker 03

  I love the rock ones.

• 1:13:40Henry Zebrowski?

  Those are our people.

• 1:13:41Speaker 03

  I think, you know what a good idea would be? We take all of these listener email tracks, fucking make an album on Spotify.

• 1:13:48Henry Zebrowski?

  We were talking about this.

• 1:13:50Speaker 03

  How do we do that?

• 1:13:51Henry Zebrowski?

  I don't know. I don't know how we do that without just stealing money from people. You know what I mean? Like that's the problem with that.

• 1:13:55Speaker 03

  Spotify, no one makes fucking money.

• 1:13:57Henry Zebrowski?

  But any money should go to the people who wrote the song. So I have to source all the people who wrote the song. This is what I've learned that's hard about that. Is that I have to then find all of their information. Each one of them has to create an account in which we can then link all of their bank accounts. Cause it's the only way I'm doing this. Would I would do it fully legit because I'm not taking money from people. Even if it's dollars, a cent on the dollar.

• 1:14:16Speaker 03

  Whatever money we make, we put towards, uh, some kind of great cause.

• 1:14:20Henry Zebrowski?

  I said, great. Uh, we, we, we would need in writing agreement from the people that wrote the stingers, that they're totally down for the proceeds to go to, to, to, to all go to charity. And absolutely I will do that.

• 1:14:31Speaker 03

  If you have heard your stinger on the show, write in and let us know.

• 1:14:33Henry Zebrowski?

  Hmm.

• 1:14:34Speaker 03

  How about that?

• 1:14:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Love that.

• 1:14:35Speaker 03

  How about that? Yeah. And this is something that'll happen never.

• 1:14:38Henry Zebrowski?

  Who knows? But who fucking knows? We make shit all the time. We got plenty. We, we got, who fucking knows?

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  People love these things and so do I.

• 1:14:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Yep.

• 1:14:44Speaker 03

  Let's hear some, uh, let's hear some bullshit.

• 1:14:46Henry Zebrowski?

  Now I want to get into a little bit about scrotts. So I broke, I brought up the concept of the little, little scumbags, the scrotters in Dublin. And right, my wife and I, Natalie and I were harassed in the street.

• 1:14:59Speaker 03

  Fuck your mother, you get out of here.

• 1:15:00Henry Zebrowski?

  They're really funny and, but I brought it up and it is a big fucking deal. It's a big deal over in Dublin. It seems to be a lot of the people, um, a lot of the emails I got was talking about how there's like economic issues in the major, major city centers. A lot of these are kids from people that are obviously like, you know, like kind of what we were talking about. How their parents are on drugs and now they're obsessed with it. You know, now they go out there and they take their pain out on people and largely they just rough people up, yell things and run away. They are children. The guardie, the, uh, the Irish police, they really don't want anything to do with it.

• 1:15:37Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:15:37Henry Zebrowski?

  And so I got a lot of good information.

• 1:15:39Speaker 03

  Fight a group of kids.

• 1:15:40Henry Zebrowski?

  No one wants to because it sucks. Uh, but this is, it is interesting. So let me read a couple of these letters. I hope you enjoyed Ireland Henry. Sorry our youths treated you at one of the local customs, saying anything mean they can think of of your attire. If it isn't a sports jersey and work pants or matching tracksuit, it is in fact illegal. Scrotts are the city thing and your bartender wasn't lying. Now violence right now is targeting immigrants. A lot of it is stirred up online. And if you recall Twitter, I will dead name it. All right. Until Vivian Musk inherits her father's fortune. Exactly.

• 1:16:19Henry Zebrowski?

  All right. Exposed all the origin countries of its users briefly. The, the accounts for Irish far right groups were all based in America and England. Where I am in Ireland, County Lethrim, people would probably talk about their attire, but they'd have a, a pint with you still. And the teens are so non-screwtie that when I asked my boss if the youths ever get enough his fights at lunch, well, waiting for us to make them food. He could not comprehend what I was asking. I'm from Halifax in Canada and our, our teens fought in our library every damn day. All right. Now some fun things to yell at scrotts.

• 1:16:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Your ma's your da and your da sells Avon.

• 1:16:57Henry Zebrowski?

  Get the fuck.

• 1:16:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Or if you must fight, you can open with, that's a funny way to spend your teeth.

• 1:17:07Henry Zebrowski?

  I live in Marina now. My only permanent neighbor is obviously a former scrot. And they do not grow out of it. He once told my dog he was gonna beat the bricks off of her for following him in the night. He didn't mean it. He's just a scrot.

• 1:17:23Henry Zebrowski?

  So that's the thing. So they talk about the scroats and they say that basically everyone said the same thing. You literally just don't say anything to them. You just move forward, right?

• 1:17:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, they keep following you and throwing bricks and shit?

• 1:17:35Henry Zebrowski?

  No, if you could really just go through, I think it was really funny that they all talk about having one comb. One thing that they're another term that they're called yep bros.

• 1:17:44Speaker 03

  Okay, yep bros?

• 1:17:45Henry Zebrowski?

  That's because they go yep, yep at each other. Yep.

• 1:17:49Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 1:17:50Henry Zebrowski?

  And it's literally just what they do. And they hear that we visited Kong.

• 1:17:53Speaker 03

  This is a part of the warriors.

• 1:17:55Henry Zebrowski?

  It is. We also visited Kong, Kong. Uh, someone brought up and just want to know, why in the living fuck are they obsessed with the movie The Quiet Man? My mother.

• 1:18:03Speaker 03

  The, the John Wayne film?

• 1:18:05Henry Zebrowski?

  So we were.

• 1:18:06Speaker 03

  It's his only Oscar.

• 1:18:07Henry Zebrowski?

  Dude, I just, so my mom out of nowhere starts, no idea about the, never heard of the movie The Quiet Man.

• 1:18:14Speaker 03

  You never heard of it?

• 1:18:15Henry Zebrowski?

  No, why would I? I don't care. Right? Out of nowhere. My mom's like, do you think that this is where The Quiet Man was made? I was like, what are you talking about? She was like, The Quiet Man. It's John Wayne's best movie. It's my favorite movie. And I was just like, I have no idea. Next thing we know, we're in Kong, which is where The Quiet Man was filmed. And my mom is going to all of these places like it's where the Godfather was filmed. Like she's next to tears being like, this is the bar where John Wayne came out of the bar. I was just like, this is the weirdest, the whole town is obsessed with The Quiet Man.

• 1:18:51Speaker 03

  I mean, it's great. Your mom got to see it.

• 1:18:54Henry Zebrowski?

  No, I know. It's just very funny that it's an entire town based off this like one movie.

• 1:18:59Speaker 03

  You know, imagine if you went to the town where like Nightmare on Elm Street four was filmed with your mother and you were so excited everywhere you went. You're like, this is the town square. You know, it's the same thing.

• 1:19:10Henry Zebrowski?

  It's true.

• 1:19:12Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah. Cause they, oh, you're one little more question. Um, someone saying here is that we should send the scroats to Alligator Auschwitz.

• 1:19:20Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:19:20Henry Zebrowski?

  To an alligator Alcatraz.

• 1:19:21Speaker 03

  Well, it's closed now, so there's nowhere to send it.

• 1:19:23Henry Zebrowski?

  Nowhere to send them. Yep.

• 1:19:24Speaker 03

  Oh, um, Nelson got out. Kurt, Kurt's nephew. He, he's back home with his wife.

• 1:19:30Henry Zebrowski?

  No fucking way. It's almost like he didn't commit any crimes. It's almost like he shouldn't have been there in the fucking first place, but that's amazing.

• 1:19:37Speaker 03

  Yeah. Shout out to Nelson and Kurt and, uh, and everyone involved in all this.

• 1:19:41Henry Zebrowski?

  So yeah, so just now go out there. Uh, this someone here wants to give a shout out to the park ranger that went after Eugene Horsch.

• 1:19:49Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:19:50Henry Zebrowski?

  Just, just listen. We covered the, the, the potential crimes of R.C. Horsch. Um, and we're going to probably do an entire episode on this.

• 1:19:58Speaker 03

  I mean, you have to.

• 1:19:59Henry Zebrowski?

  So we're, we're not.

• 1:19:59Speaker 03

  It's too crazy. It needs to develop a little more.

• 1:20:01Henry Zebrowski?

  But I did think it was interesting. Someone call out like the National Park Services. Um, just want to, you know, I listened to the side stories app where you talked about Eugene Horsch. Not much to contribute other than I'm a National Park Service Ranger stationed at Independence NHP. I know the ranger who went after him initially. His name is Keith Manchester and he actually got hurt pretty bad and he's been off duty for a while. So I know it doesn't mean much. Just want Keith to get credit for being a great guy and a great ranger.

• 1:20:27Speaker 03

  That's fucking awesome.

• 1:20:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Cause he went completely out of his way to make sure that something was done.

• 1:20:30Speaker 03

  Hell yeah. That's amazing.

• 1:20:33Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, these are the stories I'm just going to keep for now. This is what I'm going to do. And we got other stories. I'll get into it next week.

• 1:20:37Speaker 03

  All right, great.

• 1:20:39Henry Zebrowski?

  So just live every day, every day knowing for a fact that if you're in Ireland, you want to keep your head up. All right. And if you're going to walk around with a pretty lady, you might love the fact that you get the attention of a bunch of little boys.

• 1:20:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:49Henry Zebrowski?

  Right. And you just gotta laugh at them. Cause yeah, they might be mad. They might be mad that you got a cute little lady on your hands and you're wearing a bit of a pink shirt. All right. They might be saying things about you. Maybe you gotta remember, right? You're the man. Right there to the boy.

• 1:21:06Speaker 03

  Come see us this weekend in Norfolk. I can't wait to see you. We'll find you.

• 1:21:10Henry Zebrowski?

  Coming down to Norfolk way.

• 1:21:12Speaker 03

  Send your scroats.

• 1:21:13Henry Zebrowski?

  Send your scroats. I don't actually know. Send your, someone, someone who can legally buy a bear.

• 1:21:17Speaker 03

  Friday, Norfolk, uh, Saturday rally, North Carolina, the Martin Marietta Center. We're going to have a lot of fun. Uh, we got a lot of shows coming up down the, down the pipe. Brooklyn, Hartford, Redway, Portland, Burlington, Iowa City, Columbia, Missouri. Uh, me personally, I'm going to be in Milwaukee with, uh, Logan Metz on September 27th.

• 1:21:37Henry Zebrowski?

  No, that's going to be an entertaining evening.

• 1:21:39Speaker 03

  It's going to be nice. October 4th, my first show at the Comedy Works sold out. We got a second show booked. So go and get tickets to the second show. That's going to be a fucking blast. That's my birthday show. Come fucking party with me. And then in LA on October 14th, on a Wednesday at the Stray Theater is Slammers Comedy Bash. I'm going to be hosting it. We're having a lot of fun.

• 1:22:00Henry Zebrowski?

  That's great. You're hosting for Amber. Give her some time to work on some material.

• 1:22:03Speaker 03

  That's right. She's going to close out that fucker. And then San Francisco, St. Louis, Nashville, Rochester, Albany. Go to editunes.com for tickets.

• 1:22:12Henry Zebrowski?

  Go and check them out. We'll see you over on, you can see on Netflix. I see you on Patreon. There's certain movie stores there. You see, we're over there on Patreon. Well, let's go to check out a new YouTube channels. Bloodbath77 doing very well. Go check it out up there on, on YouTube over at LPN TV. It's on YouTube.

• 1:22:31Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:22:32Henry Zebrowski?

  YouTube. All right. Hope you're seeing your health, Eddie.

• 1:22:36Speaker 03

  Hail Sally Fields.

• 1:22:37Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow, Eddie, to really masturbate.

• 1:22:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Thinking about Sally Field.

• 1:22:43Speaker 03

  You ever see the Irish film, The Fields?

• 1:22:45Henry Zebrowski?

  No.

• 1:22:47Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah. Heard, heard the whole thing as if there's grass on it. That's when you play the ball.

• 1:22:54Speaker 03

  Bye, everybody.

• 1:22:57Speaker 04

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• 1:23:25Speaker 05

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