Side Stories: The Haunting of Henry

Henry & Eddie are getting into the Halloween spirit with a haunted hotel stay that leaves Henry spooked and Ed clinging to his leather pillow. The boys recount their eventful weekend at Scotia Lodge, where the third floor belongs to dead loggers and playful spirits. THEN! A Maryland sewer dweller gets the Pennywise treatment, an update on the diamond-swallowing thief, Listeners explain their eyebrow slits, and MORE!

• 0:01Speaker 00

  In New Orleans, truckers keep getting sideswiped the exact same way. When a man is found murdered under questionable circumstances related to these accidents, the rubber hits the road. And what the feds uncover is a complex scheme of staged wrecks, financial fraud, and a pair of conspiring lovers behind it. This is a story about fake accidents that lead to real consequences. Listen to "Over My Dead Body," Operation Sideswipe, wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Whoever says saving money is hard doesn't know that new customers who bundle and save with Progressive save hundreds. Because switching your home and auto insurance is better than cutting down on the things you love, like those ice lattes that help you get ready to face the day. So switch your home and auto to Progressive and see if you could save and keep sipping away. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers. Not available in all states.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  There's no place to escape to.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  This is the last.

• 1:20Speaker 02

  On the left.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Side stories?

• 1:24Speaker 02

  That's when the cannibalism started.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  Side stories, yes.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Are you spooked by my costume?

• 1:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's terrifying, actually.

• 1:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, is it because of the cultural implications of the man?

• 1:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, I think that's got something to do with it. But this is the bad guy version. At least you're not trying to pretend to be good Hulk Hogan, and we know he's bad. You're bad Hulk Hogan, and he is bad. So I feel like that is allowed.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  I wore this costume, so those of you that are not watching us on Netflix, just understand that I am dressed as, uh, because Eddie's been making the joke, right? Because I've been doing new things with my hair because I'm frozen, right? I'm spiritually frozen, I'm 42 years old. I was looking for something to kind of change, something to do, something to wrap my hands around.

• 2:20Speaker 00

  So you wanted to go to the height of popularity?

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Yep. So what I did was I bleached blonde in my hair. And so ever since then, Eddie's been making funny jokes about how I look like Hollywood Hulk Hogan.

• 2:30Speaker 00

  If he was a bow bun.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  Yes. And I am that. And so today I've dressed up as Hollywood Hulk Hogan. Is this the theme song for him?

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Fuck yeah, dog.

• 2:46Speaker 00

  What is this? This is the NWO song, the Hollywood Hulk Hogan song. It is fucking voodoo child.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's voodoo child. But I just want you to know that, number one, just because I'm wearing the outfit of Hulk Hogan, doesn't mean I espouse the beliefs of Hulk Hogan or his, and I do not necessarily too, I do not necessarily endorse his actions.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Oh, fuck, it's just so much chili.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  That seems a little similar.

• 3:15Speaker 00

  Oh, fuck, it's just so much chili.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  I took this costume and I put it on because it was the only one I had. I was gonna have multiple costumes, but I'm suffering from the Hollywood, I'm suffering from Halloween malaise. I didn't get more costumes going, even though I had multiple parties. So when I first wore this costume, I wore it to a very nice, very, well, a younger crowd version of a Halloween party. I went, it was a lot of Zoomers, a lot of young people, and I had three separate people come up to me and say, you know that man said the N-word? And what I want to say to them is like, you see that person dressed as a vampire over there? As an undead creature that feeds on the blood of the innocent.

• 3:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, also vampires, I'm gonna go ahead, they're probably racist.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  I think vampires are specifically racist. If you don't, if you don't think a thousand-year-old Romanian man is it racist? And I got a fucking, I got a fucking couple I'll show you. I got a couple I'll fucking, I'll let you meet that used to be my landlords in New York City.

• 4:15Speaker 00

  See, at first I thought you were dressed as Paula Deen.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Normally, that's when I have the hood on. And I have that big thing of butter. I've got the thing, big thing of butter with me. And so I just want to remind you all, I'm Hollywood Hulk Hogan. I'm playing a character that Hulk Hogan played. Hulk Hogan was a character.

• 4:34Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Hulk Hogan, his real name's Terry.

• 4:37Speaker 00

  Wow, I forgot he had a sex tape.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  No, that's where it comes from. He has a whole sex tape thing.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  That's how he made his money.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  No, he made his money being a wrestler. And then made money again.

• 4:48Speaker 00

  Well, he made his money being a wrestler, lost it all. And then he was charged at $10 an autograph.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Oh, I remember.

• 4:54Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  I remember. "Ira, can you hear it? Can you hear it, oldsters? You ready for the oldster?" But just so you know, again, I do not espouse the man, I'm playing a villain.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I'm Peter Thiel.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Yep, he is dressed as Peter Thiel. Gay billionaire. And your costume is he has a twink sucking on him underneath the table.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  Yep, and then they are fine at it.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Yep, they put the wink and twink because they're super sarcastic.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  That's right. Well, then, and they're missing an eye.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, welcome to Side Stories. I'm sitting here with billionaire Peter Thiel.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  Woo, that's right. I hang out in Argentina because I am too stupid for life.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Argentina sounds nice. If you're not a multiple billionaire, I mean, Argentina, you've got the great steak, they put eggs on their steak.

• 5:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  You got llamas.

• 5:46Speaker 00

  Mountains.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Lots of stuff in Argentina.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  You're down south, baby.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that's, I know, you've never been so south, man.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  But happy Halloween, everybody.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  Happy Halloween.

• 5:58Speaker 00

  While you're out partying on Halloween, listen to the Mask for Trash song by Gods and Leather.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Wrong, flip it.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  Gods and Leather song by Mask for Trash.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Thank you. Yeah, you're hearing it right now. Yeah, play it right now.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  Play that shit.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  You can hear it right underneath.

• 6:14Speaker 00

  Put it on your Halloween playlist. Get wet, get wet. And it's not just bobbing for apples, y'all, it's your fucking pussies and dicks.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  It is, bobbing for apples is disgusting, by the way. And I'm Hollywood Henry Zebrowski, sitting here with sunglasses on, inside, feeling myself, all right? Because I'm thick. And yes, this is our Halloween episode. I've got a lot of flack saying for the lack of Halloween this year, but I do feel like, number one, we are kind of Halloween themed no matter what.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  It's weird when you do it all year. It's like, we never took down the Halloween decorations last year because they're just like, oh, it's like, oh, well.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  They just stay up.

• 6:52Speaker 00

  Just keep them up. And they say, yeah, you keep the shark on the toilet.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  I will say that this year is a little bit more intense. This is an intense year, right? We got this stupid fucking election kind of like weighing over a lot of us. I think a lot of us are kind of in a weird spot.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  I think that a lot of people are being driven hard at work or don't have work at all.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  Don't forget, you get to leave your jobs for a couple hours to vote.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  That's the best part, that's the only thing, you quit your job, go vote.

• 7:17Speaker 00

  You can just be like, oh, the line was so long, and get lunch and shit, it's gonna be nice.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Absolutely, but I, uh, we're starting today with actual spookiness. Because we don't have a lot of spooky stories in the news these days. Most of the time when you read about ghosts, they're immediately debunked. Every single time we talk about poltergeist, we find out it's just a bunch of people starving a little German girl to death, right? It's so hard to do ghost stories. And I will also say, we will be having a very spooky Henry Zebrowski-led Last Podcast on the Left this week as well. That is all ghosts all the time. But we're leaning into it here today, and it's due to literally a personal story of adeniz.

• 7:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's what happened to us this past weekend when we were in Humboldt County. Shout out Humboldt County Matil Community Center, Humboldt County Growers Association, Huckleberry Farms, Redbeard Fox Meat, and Fireplace Dispensary in Arcata. Thank you for treating us so goddamn well.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  So we went this year, and, you know, normally, we're just telling this story because, again, it finally happened. We, as a group, experienced ghost phenomena.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  So we went up to, which was right outside of Redway, California, we went to Scotia.

• 8:33Speaker 00

  The Scotia Lodge.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  Yes, and it was in Scotia, California, old loggontown, right? And so we went there, and it was me, Eddie, Billy Wayne Davis, Holden McNeil.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  Please, Captain Come.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, Captain Come of the SS Big Cock.

• 8:48Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  And everybody loved the character.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  By the way, they, it was flawless. It went extremely well.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  It's one of those things that the longer and worse it gets, the better it is.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  Well, for us, you, we, at one point, you and Billy were laughing.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  In San Fran, it did well.

• 9:06Speaker 01

  I think it's just because they're perverts.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  And because it's in SF, you're automatically half a pervert. To live there, you gotta be.

• 9:13Speaker 00

  We were joking that he isn't the first captain cum to come through San Francisco.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Oh, you don't think? You don't think there's been an admiral cum and a fucking rear fucking corporal cum? There's been plenty in SF. So, so we go to this place called the Scotia Lodge. So, for those of you that are Northern California residents, you might be aware of the Scotia Lodge. It used to be a big deal. It was a very big fancy hotel, uh, that everybody says like, that's where you have your birthday. It's where you go and you have your, you have your mountain illegal shotgun wedding up there in Scotia Lodge. It's, it is, and it's this very nice little hotel, but it's really funny because it's in the middle of goddamn nowhere.

• 9:53Speaker 00

  There's nothing else in the town.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  The only thing there are are gas stations.

• 9:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's a tiny grocery store across the street, but you, all the shit's old.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  Yes. So, we go in and the first thing I noticed, and I got there a little later than the other boys. When I arrived, there was a pack of fans in the lobby. And they were like, oh my God, Henry, what are you doing? You staying at the, you staying here? And I was like, yeah, yeah, this is our hotel. And they're like, we're here for the ghost tour. And I was like, what do you mean? They're like, yeah, we would never stay here. This is a, they, they, apparently the third floor is so haunted that they shut it out for any form of people who's staying here.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  They gave the third floor to the ghosts.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  They gave it to the ghosts.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  There's rooms up there.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  There's working rooms with bathrooms.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Floor rooms.

• 10:41Speaker 00

  They're like, no, it's for the ghosts.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  It's for the ghosts. We're like, okay, what does that even mean, right? And so this, this pack of people, so it was hilarious. So, I walk up to the, I check in. I say like, so I'm gonna go up to my room. They're like, just so you know, you're right outside where the ghost tour lets in. I was like, what are you even fucking talking about? And she's like, and if you wanna see the third floor, you're gonna buy a ticket. You can come down here, buy a ticket, blah, blah. Revealed, it's the first time they've even acknowledged the ghosts of the third floor.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  They have, so far, I guess this place has been open since like the 30s or whatever. But the, this is the first year, because up until now, all of management has not wanted to acknowledge how badly haunted the hotel is. As a matter of fact, one of the owners, we went to learn, would, he went and stayed accidentally. He came in to do work on the hotel. He was stuck there for too long, so he decided to just stay. So, he went up all the rooms, like whatever, he went up and he stayed in the second floor. And then he came in and he had a whole staff meeting in the morning and he's like, why in the hell are one of you cleaning and vacuuming upstairs all hours of the goddamn night?

• 11:53Speaker 01

  And they had to be like, that, uh, that's the ghosts.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's the ghost. They don't work here.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  They, yeah, there's nobody here.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Work here.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Well, because.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  Is it clean? That's the real question.

• 12:03Speaker 01

  It's not. I saw the, we saw the stairs going up. It's not clean. And so, but the key is, is that as all of this was like, I was like, so, okay, fine, whatever. We go, all these people going up the stairs, because they were saying like, he got so freaked out, he left and never, like, he doesn't stay in the hotel anymore. The guy who owns the hotel won't stay there.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Well, the old, the previous owner, the new owner loves it.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Well, he figured, now we're gonna start using it because nobody comes here. He's the, the guy that now owns the Scotia Lodge had the brilliant idea, the brand new owner.

• 12:34Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Is the first one to put food and booze in the hotel.

• 12:39Speaker 00

  He's like, we should have food. And then they were like, huh, huh.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  And then like, all of the staff was so surprised, they were like.

• 12:46Speaker 00

  This isn't a town with a restaurant.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  There's nothing there. And the whole like staff was like, and would you believe, this is the busiest October we've ever had. And I was like, this is because you finally have food in the hotel. Like, you could, it's because there's things to do here now, right?

• 13:02Speaker 00

  I did like the place. I will say that.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  The bed was comfortable.

• 13:05Speaker 00

  The bed was fine. The leather pillows were, uh, weird and then I started to love it.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, you'd like to love it. That's how trash he is.

• 13:12Speaker 00

  It's nice.

• 13:13Speaker 04

  Leather pillows.

• 13:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rob.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  It's real gross.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Pillows and leather pillows.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  They had these like leather pillows on the bed that were real fucking gross.

• 13:21Speaker 00

  That's weird. And then like, halfway through the night, I was like, wow, it's like I'm hugging a woman. Yeah, yeah, no.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  That doesn't say a lot for Julie.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  I kissed it a bunch.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  That does not say a lot for Julie.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  It was so sweet to me.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  She had that old leather pillow.

• 13:35Speaker 04

  Actually.

• 13:37Speaker 00

  It was beautiful, man. I put, I drew nipples on them.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  So, cut to, we're all, so we're all gonna be like, all right, so we smoked a joint outside. We come back in, they made a big deal about how all of the staff leaves at 10pm.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  Yes. No one, like everybody, the last person there is the bartender who's really bad at his job.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  He just does not, he was not informed that it would be a job.

• 14:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, he hated the sight of me, I think.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  I do understand, we all, we ordered food and drinks and that was really obnoxious of us. And you should think about that, Eddie, and the fact that we arrived after a full day's travel, hungry and thirsty.

• 14:14Speaker 00

  Also, the dining room was hilarious, because it's just like a room, then tables just strewn about.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Very strange, very fucking strange. So, we find, so the staff leaves, there's just a sign that says like, any problems, call Ron.

• 14:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Right? And it was like a number, call Ron. And so, nobody's there. Nobody's in the whole place.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  I'm in charge.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  I'm gonna tell you this right now, the doors are also just completely open.

• 14:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  You could just walk in and out of that hotel, man.

• 14:41Speaker 04

  This is literally an episode of Widows Bay.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  There's actually an episode of Widows Bay.

• 14:44Speaker 00

  You can walk. They gave us the code and they're like, there is no code.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  There's no code.

• 14:47Speaker 00

  The code's like, come on in, what are you talking about?

• 14:49Speaker 01

  But guess what you need a fucking, guess what you need a sledgehammer to open? That beer fridge in the lobby.

• 14:55Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, man. No, no, they just have like a bunch of beautiful local beers. And like water that's locked and you can't get anywhere near it. Nothing, you can't nowhere near it.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  Going on it trying to open. So, cut to, we finally, we split up for the night. And as we're walking up to the room, I, we see this, there's one door, right? And I was like, oh, look at this, it's like hanging open.

• 15:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  And it's like, like, like kinda pushed open, we saw that it's the, the mysterious stairs up to the third floor and they're all covered in dirt.

• 15:26Speaker 00

  And it wasn't even the stairs that people were using, it was just like an abandoned staircase.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Yes, because on then my side.

• 15:32Speaker 00

  I'm still curious if the staircase even existed.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  Dude, on my side was the, was the, where the ghost tours went up, right? Because I noticed as I was walking to my room, all the ghost tours were walking past me up to this one like little place. So, I opened up the door, I looked up the stairs, it was all fucking creepy and I was like, all right. I go to, I, into my bed and I start hearing noises. All night, all night. Things walking up and down over the ceiling.

• 16:00Speaker 00

  No one's in there.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  I sounded like an object rolled down those stairs and hit the door.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  I think a ghost tried to kill itself.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  It is just like, I woke up, Billy heard shit all night.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Ed slid into total fucking unconsciousness.

• 16:16Speaker 00

  No, I was just like, this place is definitely haunted. Uh, I chugged one last beer and the gin just went to sleep. I was like, I'm forcing myself to sleep. I can't deal with this right now.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  Leather pillows.

• 16:25Speaker 01

  He, the leather pillows.

• 16:27Speaker 00

  The leather, wow, maybe it wasn't a leather pillow.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  Maybe this is really, honestly, maybe this connects to his love of Sally Field and Rosa Parks. His, his sexual attraction to these leather pillows.

• 16:39Speaker 00

  Are you calling Rosa Parks a leather pillow?

• 16:41Speaker 01

  I'm saying at this point.

• 16:43Speaker 00

  Is that what you're saying?

• 16:45Speaker 01

  I am just saying.

• 16:46Speaker 00

  R.I.P.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  I'm just saying that she is, it's just, you could just see that she.

• 16:51Speaker 00

  If anyone can rest in peace, it's a woman who's famous for sitting.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  Right. You're right. And hope wherever she is, she's got a big old bench.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  So, in the morning, Henry and I, we're, we're leaving, we're checking out, because we gotta go do the show and shit. And we're saying goodbye and there's this lady who works at the front desk, Denny, who's nice, she was actually very sweet.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  I mean wildly sweet, because she was like, oh, you go, you, do you like the coffee? That's amazing, the new owner, he realized we needed coffee.

• 17:22Speaker 00

  He was like, our coffee was real bad. It was awful. And he said, we got some good coffee now. And it was, it was fine.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  It was very good for hotel coffee, but she kept being like, you heard noises on the third floor, huh?

• 17:32Speaker 00

  Just so happy about it.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Right? Like, that's where the lagers used to be. And I'll have you know, back in the day, I parted with all the lagers. They'd have me up there back when those rooms were there and they'd party and we'd party and we'd laugh. And I wanna tell you something, this is completely verbatim, Eddie and I were standing together, a woman leaned forward.

• 17:53Speaker 00

  Ear to ear smiled.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's like, and I'll have you know, I don't care what anybody says, those lagers were gentlemen.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  People don't think that lagers are decent people, but these lagers, they never, never did anything wrong to me.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  Did they tell you about who the ghosts are supposed to be there?

• 18:09Speaker 01

  The lagers.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  The lagers.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  Well, there's, apparently there's Frank, the ghostly janitor.

• 18:13Speaker 00

  Okay, well, that explains the, uh, cleaning.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  The cleaning?

• 18:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, the most famous spirit associated with the property is Frank, a former janitor and sailor. He is frequently said to haunt the upper levels, often seen wearing a dark uniform with gold buttons. Legend states that he passed away in the inn.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:29Speaker 04

  And then there's also a ghostly little boy.

• 18:31Speaker 00

  What's he do?

• 18:33Speaker 04

  Witnesses and guests have reported the sound of a bouncing ball.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. That actually made, that actually made my like, the hairs stand up all over my fucking back, dude.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  Bounced down the stairs.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Roll down the stairs.

• 18:44Speaker 04

  Attributed to the spirit of a little boy said to play with a ball on the upper floor.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Oh, my fucking God, dude.

• 18:50Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  That shit was fucking frightening.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  But even more frightening was the woman talking about the fact that she was narrowly not group assaulted by all these lagers.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  And she kept just being like, I, I parted with every one of them. I was the only woman sometimes.

• 19:06Speaker 00

  All night. And they were mean, they were mean, but they were nice to me. They push your friend off a 10-foot ledge.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  That was, what she was like.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  They'd push your friend off a 10-foot ledge and watch him bounce off the bottom of the well and laugh at him. But for me, are always a gentleman to me.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Always a gentleman to me.

• 19:23Speaker 00

  Turned me inside out. They saw every inch of me.

• 19:26Speaker 01

  They could've done anything they wanted, but I gave it to them. They could've took it if they wanted to.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  Unexplained noises, footsteps, phantom adult voices mimicking a distant party or conversation.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Could've took a different part of me. One could've took my mouth, the other two could've taken my hands, two taking my feet, two taking my bottom.

• 19:43Speaker 00

  Please first.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  If, if they were to do it against my will, which they never did, I always invited them.

• 19:50Speaker 00

  I swear they say about a lager, a lager can't enter a pussy unless it's invited. That is important to remember, like the vampire.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  But cheers to Denny. That's not a real name. We changed your name for, for Privacy Sick.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  But we just want to say, uh, good on you, Denny, for keeping the whole fucking vibe of the Scotia Lodge.

• 20:13Speaker 00

  Right.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  Because of those horny loggers, those gentlemanly horny loggers that live up there, at least I know I can bring my wife there.

• 20:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, you know, the, the loggers would do nothing to her unless she invited them.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Well, unless of course, they decide to not be gentlemen.

• 20:32Speaker 00

  That little boy ghost though, everyone knows him as a very big pussy liquor.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  Loves you like, God. I was in the room and I felt a cold energy.

• 20:43Speaker 00

  Can you say that about a boy ghost? If it's a ghost, I feel like you can scare whatever you want.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  I would just want you to know that I went into the back room and I felt the littlest ghost tongue on my clit.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  The littlest tongue. Would you believe? It's the little boy. At first I thought it was a cat until I heard it giggle. And then I knew it was like, oh, my husband is at home.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  Um, but yeah, genuinely, full on spooky experience.

• 21:11Speaker 00

  It was awesome. By accident.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  A- absolutely. It is, it fit the mood. Go to the Scotia Lodge.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  If you're there looking for some ghost stuff.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  That's where you'll fucking find them.

• 21:20Speaker 00

  You'll party, man. Get a room on the second floor and listen all night.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Dude, it was frightening, but apparently they are gonna be working on the third floor. That's like one of the big things. They're trying to like reef the, take it and have people go and stay in it. And they were like, cause, cause of all the stuff that's going on in Scotia.

• 21:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  See, the thing is, is that, yeah.

• 21:37Speaker 00

  It wasn't, the second floor wasn't full. They don't need the third floor. It could just be for the ghosts for now. I would say.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  I think that that looks bad on like accounting paperwork.

• 21:49Speaker 00

  I'm pretty sure we were the only people actually staying.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, everybody else just left.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  There was that old man who gave us all of his liquor.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. What was that about?

• 21:58Speaker 00

  Is we found this old man in the breakfast area afterwards in the morning and he was just like, I'm leaving. I'm going back to Florida. You want all my liquor?

• 22:05Speaker 01

  And we're like, yeah, sure. And then he just brought out these two coolers of like half filled Morgan bottle.

• 22:12Speaker 00

  And he finished half a handle of Captain Morgan, half a bottle of vodka. There was like an empty bottle of, there was one beer left.

• 22:21Speaker 01

  I could see the wife just being like, yeah, we just got done having a lager party. Yeah, where my husband's the group of loggers and I'm the all too friendly hotel staff woman.

• 22:34Speaker 00

  Oh man, also I.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  Perfect gentleman. Could have done anything to me. I was asleep amongst a crowd of six of them. They could have stripped me nude. They could have ripped my skin off. They could have fucking left me in the gully, but they didn't do that.

• 22:51Speaker 00

  I'm here in front of you now, here to tell the story about the gentleman loggers.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  I'd still kiss those loggers if they were alive. Perfect gentleman.

• 22:59Speaker 00

  If they weren't constantly murdering each other and their wives and children.

• 23:03Speaker 01

  I would have been amongst them. A real, like, what do you call a logger groupie? Didn't we answer this?

• 23:11Speaker 00

  It's a logger.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think we.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  I think it's a law. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  Didn't we answer this at the, at the, uh, the show?

• 23:17Speaker 00

  There was, there was something. There was like a wood chipper or, uh, I think, yeah, something like that.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Something that's sucking, whatever.

• 23:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Well, we got it. We do have some real stories.

• 23:26Speaker 00

  Real quick, before we move on, shout out to the Grady Twins, April and Brandy, who won the costume contest at the Matiel Center. You fucking rocked. I'm glad you got your picture with Captain Cum. You deserved, they got the, uh.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  Lumberjacker.

• 23:38Speaker 00

  Lumberjacker.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Lumberjacker.

• 23:39Speaker 00

  Lumberjack.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I do.

• 23:41Speaker 00

  Lumberjacket, lumberjack.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  Sorry, I was already trapped in that. I know you were talking.

• 23:44Speaker 00

  That's fine. I was just shouting out some people who won the fucking contest because they're awesome. I sent Rob a picture. You'll send it to the people.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  I got you. I'll show it. We'll show it. You did a good job. They did a good job.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform that helps you stand out online. Yes, that's right. You don't have to smash your face with a hammer. You can just start a business. It's got everything you need on Squarespace from securing your domain to building a professional site and showcasing your work all in one place. Let's say you want to show everybody how you can carve your ribs out of your lower abdomen so that you look more like a Ken doll. That's amazing. You can bring your vision to life with AI-powered design or curated templates, plus flexible editing tools that help you create something that truly reflects your style, especially if you are somebody that is trying to corrupt the young men of America. That's what Squarespace is really gonna help you. Squarespace makes it easy.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  It makes it easy for you to put all that together and you just go to Squarespace and do it all. Thanks, Brayden. Head to Squarespace.com/left for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code LEFT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 24:58Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Acorns Grow Incorporated. No, it is not trees, but it does help you grow the most important thing, your money. Everyone needs a good money goal. Me personally, I like going to concerts and I like having decent seats. My eyes don't work like they used to. I got bad. They're tiny. I can't see anyone on the stage anymore. So I want better tickets. Better tickets equal more money. Had you get more money, you need someone like Acorns to get your back and tell you how to squirrel it all away for a better day. You can sign up for Acorns in minutes and start automatically investing your spare money, even if all you've got is spare change.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  Squirrel it away. Sign up now and join over 14 million people already investing with Acorns. New customers get a $20 bonus investment just for signing up. Takes about two minutes and could be the quickest 20 you'll ever earn. Head to acorns.com/left. That's A-C-O-R-N-S dot com slash left to claim your $20 bonus today. Acorns dot com slash left. Limited time offer. Terms and conditions apply. See acorns.com/terms for details. Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier two compensation provided. Potential subject to various factors such as customers' accounts, age, and investment settings.

• 26:31Speaker 00

  Does not include Acorns fees. Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorn Advertisers LLC is an SEC-registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com/left. That's acorns.com/left.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  For kids, summer means freedom. And as adults, summer still means freedom, thanks to Mint Mobile's summer sale. Right now, all of Mint's plans are $15 per month, even unlimited. Free yourself from big wireless and switch to Mint for high-speed data and coverage on the T-Mobile 5G network. Straight up, Mint's gonna save you money. It does every month. Mint Mobile has all of the perks of all of the major other telephone providers, but this is the one that's actually saving you the dimes you need in order to really put them where they belong, which is, I guess, at the gas station. So Mint Mobile is gonna help you pay for the one gallon of gas that you need.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  All right? But you will. Thanks to Mint, because at least Mint Mobile cares about your wallet. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/lpotl. That's mintmobile.com/lpotl. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/lpotl. That's it. There's no cash. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, and $180 for 12 months. Plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50GB may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20GB hotspot. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Live from Northridge. Are we at some updates?

• 28:28Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, some big updates.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  So the priest that was squished by the falling crucifix, uh, again, we said before, it was really nice, the fact that God could just show us his will in front of us and how he probably was a good man. We are wrong. It looks like he was trying to steal $2 million from the church.

• 28:46Speaker 00

  Well, it's suspected. It's, it, there is, he's, people are saying that there is no proof, but there's lots of people being like, oh no, he was a fucking thief.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  That's hilarious though. I think that's absolutely funny. And now it just, honestly, that's, that makes the story funnier.

• 29:02Speaker 00

  Misappropriated approximately $2 million in donations that he collected from his followers.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  That's amazing. Good for him. And now he's fucking dead. You can't take it with you, buddy. That's a stupid thing to do. Never steal from the church. Cause he got stuff in there, man. And there's not enough cash in it. I didn't even know how he got 2 million. I guess down there.

• 29:20Speaker 00

  It's over time.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. And they tied too. Down there, they do 10% of their income a lot. A lot of people do that, like that fucking, um.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  And then I'm not with Henry. You can, as far as I'm concerned, I won't look down my nose at you if you steal from a church.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, no, I mean, it's, you could steal, please, please steal from a church. You can steal from a church. It's filled with stuff that they don't know the worth of it and they don't deserve it. And as a matter of fact, if they have real gold cup, just steal their fucking, fuck their gold cup. They can get a new regular ass cup.

• 29:48Speaker 00

  So the, uh, it's, it's not independently confirmed and no authentic footage, um, but it is a, a straight up accusation out there now that he's, that, that priest stole $2 million.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  If you're the priest that gets squished at that church, if you're the other parishioners, do you allow the funeral to happen at that same church? Cause it seems to me, God don't want him in there.

• 30:11Speaker 00

  I mean, I wouldn't put the cross back up.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  So what are you gonna put back up? Like a, a thing for fucking smarrows?

• 30:18Speaker 00

  Nah, you draw one. Get a painter. Michelangelo.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. But that's the problem. It's gonna be like some Make-A-Wish kid. This is, this is, this is scrim-sgram and he's gonna do it and because we're so proud that he can hold a pencil.

• 30:32Speaker 00

  One up and down, one across. How hard is it?

• 30:34Speaker 01

  You'd be surprised. They keep it straight.

• 30:37Speaker 00

  Either way, get a better carpenter.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. Good. Even the priests aren't straight.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  There we go.

• 30:44Speaker 00

  Oh, remember the guy who stole the the rings by putting them in his mouth?

• 30:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, and he shat them out, and then he had to go sit with them, and they were sharing. He's finally been convicted of stealing.

• 30:54Speaker 00

  Yes, that took a long time.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  Two years ago.

• 30:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, that took a long ass time. I don't know why that it happened in February of 2025. Um, and they're just finally, uh, giving him, uh, cause I feel like.

• 31:06Speaker 01

  It's a low priority.

• 31:07Speaker 00

  It's a low priority. He's been in jail. I'm sure that he got really bad indigestion. Uh, but I still, there's no way to tell. Uh, they have been cleaned. They they are back out on the market and I can't tell if they are cheaper or not.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  I I we've talked about this endlessly. We have already said this. They are not cheaper. I've heard several people say that they have like ionizer cleaners that they use.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  I don't care.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  I don't give a fuck.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  They went through a human.

• 31:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, you are giving me a discount. I am not buying those things. And anybody that is buying those things.

• 31:41Speaker 00

  Worse than a floor model.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Exactly. Like if you're buying those things and you're not getting a discount, you must be from San Francisco. You know what I mean? You should be one of those guys that likes the fact that it took a little trip through a man's body. Right? Then you kind of like the idea that they're poo poo diamonds, but some of us don't.

• 31:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  Some of us don't, especially if you're giving it to your wife.

• 32:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, so make an offer. Man, don't pay full price for these diamonds. And actually, you know what? Don't buy diamonds. Fuck Tiffany's. Um, all right.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  You can get the lab grown diamonds are just as good. And or you gotta get the god, or if you're gonna get a diamond, like when I did with my engagement ring, I had to do the thing where I had to go get the, uh, I got the paperwork so that Natalie wouldn't cry.

• 32:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, I got a Canadian diamond.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  What was that? Is that just like a rock?

• 32:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  A rock that they paint clear?

• 32:27Speaker 00

  No, it's not. Yeah, it's a syrup hardened to like, but Julie doesn't know. She's very sweet about it.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  That's really nice. She's just, she doesn't, she knows.

• 32:34Speaker 00

  Um, we got more still more updates, a quick one. Um, looks like Ted Bundy is, uh.

• 32:40Speaker 01

  They're they're trying to claim another victim here.

• 32:43Speaker 00

  In the 1970s of, uh.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  Which makes sense.

• 32:45Speaker 00

  Uh, the long dead serial killer do another unsolved homicide.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, anytime they can do, anytime they can clear up a cold case with an old fashioned old guy, then that actually works for them. And again, and it helps their percentage.

• 32:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, but, um, yeah, that says that he was in town and, uh, she went missing. And so they think, uh, they think it was him.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. And, uh, but they, uh, they said that they confirm it because of DNA testing. So, all right, there you go.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  That's fascinating. I mean, I I do, I always think, I think Ted Bundy is exactly an example of what we've talked about before. How there are some killers that have killed way less and there's some killers that kill way more. Ted Bundy was an absolute utter evil, unrepentant psychopath, and I could see him doing stuff like that. Much like our president, where a new rape accusation just dropped. But there's not a lot to do a lot. I'm just gonna say this real quick, just because there's not, um, it's not, uh, super funny and it's really hard to make, uh, bits out of it. But just think it's important to remember as we head into the election season. Beatrice Cool, uh, said, uh, she was a former Miss Switzerland beauty pageant, said that a man named Donald Trump, uh, raped her in the New York City's Plaza Hotel in 1993. And that's just a little bit more of what you're voting for.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  When you get out there, just know for a fact that they just keep grabbing Gaetians. He's a great, he's the fucking lord of Gaetian nation.

• 34:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, she said that, um, Epstein approached her and offer, uh, offered her promises like, uh, Donald Trump was offering her about giving her into NYU and then, um, told her to come to a party at Mar-a-Lago with him. And then that is where Trump raped her.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, which is, uh, sounds correct.

• 34:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, sounds like, yeah, doesn't.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Sounds right.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  Sounds right on the level. Just know that's who everyone is protecting.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  It's another one.

• 34:29Speaker 00

  Fucking do something about it.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, see what you can do about it.

• 34:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's on TMZ, so go check that out.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, go enjoy that.

• 34:36Speaker 00

  Um, all right, let's talk about something fun. The Eagles Nest burns down.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  Oh, and I'm really sad. Hitler's Eagles Nest burned down and we never got to go, Eddie. We were gonna do live.

• 34:46Speaker 00

  From the Eagles Nest.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. And now we'll never get to do it. And that is kind of, I mean, I don't know, I'm, I'm, how do I say? I'm disappointed.

• 34:55Speaker 00

  It's hard to get there. You have to travel by gondola.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  Oh, like getting to Redway.

• 34:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  It's like getting up there. It's like, it's not as far, you know? Wow.

• 35:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, the the German citizen who burnt the place down, he's 33 years old and he is already in a mental hospital.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, they do that over in Europe, but you know, in the end, good riddance. It's great real estate. Let's put something else in there.

• 35:15Speaker 00

  Looks so cool.

• 35:16Speaker 01

  It does look cool.

• 35:17Speaker 00

  It's burning down.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, even it's burning, but the thing it's missing, a bunch of screaming Nazis.

• 35:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, that is the problem.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  Right? If they were all on fire inside of it, that would be awesome. I got a bunch of Nazis I'd like to put in there.

• 35:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's how do you feel about? Do you feel like, uh, something like this should have been preserved or no?

• 35:33Speaker 01

  Uh, you know, yes and no. I I am one of those.

• 35:38Speaker 00

  I like, I it's weird. I'm like, keep the concentration camp because that's like something horrible that happens.

• 35:42Speaker 01

  Memories that have to be kept.

• 35:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  I do honestly believe that they are memories that have to be kept. I do like what they've done in Berlin. I know they've taken all of these modern, they basically have turned everything back into a regular city, but like, you know, one of the weirdest things is to see like a kindergarten that has like a plaque on it says like the former offices of Goebbels, like, they have those things where they let you know that they were there. Which I think is interesting, um, because they have obviously a very complicated relationship with their past.

• 36:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:12Speaker 01

  Um, and I think that it's being burnt down is like, that was a historical place in terms of like, that makes a lot of sense that it would be preserved. But now that it's burnt down, good riddance, make a new thing.

• 36:24Speaker 00

  No, you know, also you don't need anything. It's on top of a mountain. Let the mountain be a mountain.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  Well, no, I mean, we can make it into a nice lodge. Make it do a thing that only, uh, black people can go to.

• 36:34Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, because there's so many of them in Germany.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  They go right to send them right to the top of that one mountain.

• 36:39Speaker 00

  Sounds like they're gonna fix it up and turn it into a museum or something.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Honestly, they do that.

• 36:42Speaker 00

  That's probably what they're gonna do.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  That makes sense. That makes sense.

• 36:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  But yeah, but I don't, uh, yeah, I think it'd be different. I think preserving in his museum and go visiting it is one thing. I think it would be a little bit weird if somebody like who you're portraying today, Peter Thiel, like bought it and lived in it.

• 36:57Speaker 00

  Yes, well, he would love it.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  No, no, it's too cold.

• 37:01Speaker 00

  Archie Jean is cold. Surprisingly cold.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  But he's got all the, he's gonna be covered with with llama pelts.

• 37:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, either way, glad it's gone. Fuck yourself, Hitler. It's honestly, it's nice. After all these years, we could still burn down Hitler's stuff, and I find that to be kind of comforting.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  You know what's funny? I'm with you. I'm with you on that. Isn't it kind of funny? We can still go fuck his shit up at any time we want and fuck him and fuck all their stuff. You know, it's like, yeah, because now we've seen it long enough too. Now we we've had it long enough.

• 37:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, anyone who was gonna check it out would have checked it out. I'm not going there.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  As you said, Exan knew the problem was getting the right offer. The problem is that we were constantly fighting Kill Tony.

• 37:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  That was the only thing is that we couldn't get in because Kill Tony had a book for fucking months.

• 37:49Speaker 00

  There we go.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  All right.

• 37:50Speaker 00

  I love this story. I wanted to do this one just for the very fucking beginning. All right. Imagine if Pennywise was getting hassled by the children.

• 38:00Speaker 00

  Marilyn Mann allegedly living in a Baltimore County sewer was arrested after her mother accused him of repeatedly approaching and harassing her children. Unique Wiggins.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  I love her.

• 38:12Speaker 00

  That's her name?

• 38:12Speaker 01

  Baltimore County Unique Wiggins.

• 38:14Speaker 00

  She is a unique.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  She really is. She initially didn't believe her children when they told her there was a man was speaking them from the from the underground, right?

• 38:23Speaker 00

  I'm sorry, I find her name so funny.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  It was a Friday and my daughter, who was 21, called and she was panicking. And I said, what's wrong, my dear? And she said, mother, I'm scared. The man told me I can't walk there and to just dip. And I'm like, what man? And she was like, the man in the sewer. So then Unique Wiggins walked over to the where the sewer was.

• 38:47Speaker 00

  Well, no, it took, she had to be told four times. She didn't believe her children.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  Of course not. She's like, you're crazy.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's no one in the sewer.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys have been watching too much fucking it movies. You're watching, be like, I told you not fucking hook up Netflix when I'm at work. Right? But then she says, I walk over to the little manhole sewer thing. And I hear someone singing. And I think to myself, this is unbelievable.

• 39:11Speaker 00

  Yo, ho.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  So I'm like.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Living in the sewer, loving my life. I love the sewer. It's my life. This is unbelievable. So I'm like, yo, yo, you. And he's like, what? And I said, leave my fucking kids alone. And he said, no, you tell them to leave me alone. And I said, they can't possibly be messing with you. You are in the sewer.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  Just the idea of this evil clown is hanging on all day and all these kids keep showing up being like, my boat's in there. I dropped a ball in there. Hey Pennywise, catch this rock. I'm not Pennywise. Catch this rock. Call me Pennywise, that's racist. I'm a sewer-bound human, okay? Listen, stop calling me Pennywise. Leave me alone, okay? I'm trying to eat my human feces doo-doo pie alone, okay? Get the hell out of here, all right? The doo-doo pie technically comes from the Tracy Morgan's catch, I'm sorry.

• 40:14Speaker 00

  No, doo-doo pie is, yeah, I feel like that's free, right?

• 40:17Speaker 01

  But it's fine. But you know, like, they're coming in, I just think it's so funny to be like, your kids are messing with me, man. Because it's true. He's in the sewer. They keep coming to talk to you.

• 40:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, they have an elevated position.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, being like, that's literally punching down. They're talking to the man in the sewer and they're saying like, hey man, why you in the sewer, man? Why you down in sewer? And he's like, leave me alone.

• 40:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  Leave me alone, I'm in the sewer, leave me alone.

• 40:42Speaker 00

  I hope all the kids got together and just started pissing on him and just like.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  No, he's like, why are you doing this? I'm just down here.

• 40:48Speaker 00

  I swear.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  You're attacking me. There's no reason to do this. I'm not a never aging monster from a comet, okay? I'm a man. I'm trying to live the teenage mutant ninja turtle lifestyle, okay? And you guys are bothering the fucking shit out of me. I want to be the Foot Clan. That's why I give, no. You're not 18. He's probably telling them they're too young to join the Foot Clan. And he's saying like, get away from me, kid. Because that's what he's saying. They're saying the man's fucking like, getting mad, right? And saying, hey, you can't be here, you gotta dip. He's telling them to go away. He's specifically telling the children, don't talk to me.

• 41:29Speaker 00

  Well, he's not allowed to live there anymore.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  No.

• 41:31Speaker 00

  They had to, they told him he's gotta go.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  No, he can't be in there.

• 41:34Speaker 00

  Unfortunately.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  It's very da, to be honest, more than anything, like, yes, we're kind of, I get sad about people just calling the Brute Squad to move homeless people along. Like, it makes me sad. But also, at the same time.

• 41:44Speaker 00

  No one should be in the sewer.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  He's very dangerous in there.

• 41:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, unhealthy.

• 41:48Speaker 01

  It's very dangerous. It's very bad in there for you.

• 41:49Speaker 00

  And it's scary.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  You know?

• 41:51Speaker 00

  It is really scary.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  It's scary, isn't it? Oh, yeah. There can't be a man in the sewer. I mean, it's like, she said. He'll drown down there. She just sets up, like, she, and but Unique Williams wants the county officials to take additional steps, all right? Because she's saying right now, she's saying, they can put a no trespassing sign there. They can put a no trespassing sign and they can cover the holes.

• 42:11Speaker 00

  I mean, you can't cover the holes.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  That's what I would like to see. I would like Baltimore County to make me feel like I'm a member of this community.

• 42:17Speaker 00

  They did that. They put the no trespassing sign.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  That is the silliest thing on the face of the planet. Pennywise doesn't care about a sign.

• 42:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  If Pennywise is gonna live down there, if they got no place to go, they're gonna go there.

• 42:31Speaker 00

  Oh, I didn't realize it was Big Tube Sewer.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like Pennywise.

• 42:34Speaker 00

  Oh, Big Tube Sewer, that's different. I thought, I don't know why, I pictured him like underneath a grate, like yelling at people. Yeah, no, but he was in a big tube.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was like where the kids shouldn't be.

• 42:45Speaker 00

  I feel like he can crash in the tubes. This is actually where he was right here.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, the kid shouldn't be there.

• 42:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, kids, yeah, the kids shouldn't be there. The kid, yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  That guy was trying to save the kids.

• 42:56Speaker 00

  This is like where the kids go to smoke weed. And then they're like, wait, is there someone in there?

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, and he's like, get out of here. Get out of here, this is my home.

• 43:03Speaker 00

  It's so, I, I love.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  Get out of here, this is my river of shit.

• 43:06Speaker 00

  I love when I get flipped, right?

• 43:08Speaker 01

  I'm like on his side now.

• 43:09Speaker 00

  Oh, I'm way on his side.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is shelter.

• 43:12Speaker 00

  I'm fully on his side. I thought he was in like a neighborhood, reaching his arm out at kids as they walk by and shit. No, like, this is fine. This is fine, yeah.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  No, I want to fight for this guy.

• 43:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, now I feel like he should be okay. I mean, he's just living in shit.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  It's really sad.

• 43:28Speaker 00

  It is, yeah, it's sad, it's hard. Well, they put him, they put him somewhere.

• 43:31Speaker 01

  Which is the idea of being like, just here, I've been like, I don't want to mess with your damn kids.

• 43:36Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, but yeah, no, they, uh.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  Bring a big titted woman out here. Where's my big titted woman? Where's that Unique woman?

• 43:44Speaker 00

  That's Mama.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I want to see your mom, bring your mama back. That's what I'd say. Go bring me some porno magazines.

• 43:51Speaker 00

  Baltimore County Government says every person deserves to, uh, to be safe and treated with dignity, including people experiencing homelessness and behavioral health challenges.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  This is the problem, is that we don't have the, the proper resources to then go and take care of this guy the way he needs to be taken care of. That's the hardest part.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. So, uh, but yeah, no, um, actually, I feel like, uh, things might get better for this guy, to be honest with you.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  I hope so. I hope that he, I hope that Billy Skarsgard takes him in.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  I think this is honestly, it's kind of on him.

• 44:18Speaker 00

  You call him Billy?

• 44:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Billy.

• 44:21Speaker 00

  Billy.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Isn't he Billy?

• 44:22Speaker 00

  Bill.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Bill. Billy's fine.

• 44:24Speaker 00

  Billy, if you're his buddy.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm his friend.

• 44:26Speaker 00

  I've just never heard someone call him Billy.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  I think it's okay.

• 44:28Speaker 00

  He's kind of scary to be a Billy.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I actually think that makes him scarier.

• 44:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:32Speaker 01

  To be a Billy.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. Truly, some of the best things our government can do is make another holiday. And it's so nice when they put up something like World Mental Health Day to remind us all that we should be taking care of our mental health. Because definitely, I think the government is helping us all. I think the government is really helping our mental health. And I think that them putting the focus on mental health, does it not give you a sigh of relief? Finally, the government cares? But I don't think that people should focus on a certain date to care for their mental health. I think that it should be every day and all year round.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  That you take time to celebrate your mental diseases with BetterHelp. With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp is one of the leading online therapy platforms, having served millions of people globally, all right? Some people, therapy can only be one way to support their mental well-being. Remember, therapy isn't just for big life choices either. All right, it can be a place to talk about relationship problems, work issues, or simply the sense that something feels off. You might be haunted or possessed, but let a BetterHelp therapist tell you that. BetterHelp therapists have at least three years and a thousand hours of hands-on experience. Plus, BetterHelp makes it easy to fit therapy into your routine with flexible weaves that connect at work for different schedules and lifestyles.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Your mental health doesn't need a special occasion or anyone else's permission to matter. BetterHelp can connect you with a therapist who gets you, so you can make space for what matters to you. Visit betterhelp.com slash last pod to explore your payment options. That's better, H E L P dot com slash last pod.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  October brings the first progress reports and parent-teacher conferences of the year. iXL gives kids targeted practice in the area's teacher's flag, so small gaps get addressed before they grow. iXL is an award-winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning. Whether they're building math confidence, strengthening reading and writing skills, or reviewing science concepts. From pre-K through 12th grade, iXL adapts to each child's level, pace, and learning needs. Kids get personalized practice that reinforce concepts they're learning at school, provides extra support when they're struggling with a challenging skill, and helps them keep progressing when they're ready for more.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  And studies show students who use iXL perform better academically with proven results in all 50 states. When I got Carmy and Wendy's progress reports back this year, the hardest part was knowing that Carmy bit the janitor. But iXL has really helped her on her biology. And I feel like that's the thing here, is that, yeah, it's not necessarily going after their behavioral issues, because Carmy's also, she did pedal inside. Wendy did poo poo inside of her, uh, English teacher's classroom. She did do a little tiny hard poop, but they're easy to clean, they're little poops. But she is doing well on her paper for the Canterbury Tales. And that's all because of iXL.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  So, thank you so much, iXL. Keep our puppies, I mean children, learning and growing each day. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get iXL now. And Last Podcast and the Left listeners can get an exclusive 20% off iXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com slash left. Visit ixl.com slash left to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Everybody hates bank fees, right? Well, that's where Chime comes in. They're not like traditional old banks who charge fees and gatekeep perks. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, and no minimum balance fees. You get 5% cash back on Chime card and a category of choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through everyday spending. Plus, you can grow your money faster with a savings rate that's nine times the national average. And SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200.

• 48:41Speaker 04

  Fee free. Join the millions who are already banking fee free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/ left. That is chime.com/ left. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and chime card provided by chimes bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Service limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  Live from your grave.

• 49:10Speaker 00

  Hey, did you know that the, um, the priests in New York love fucking kids?

• 49:16Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 49:16Speaker 00

  You know, we're worried about the guy who lives in the sewer, but the archdiocese of New York agreed to an eight hundred million dollar settlement.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  I feels like it's not enough.

• 49:27Speaker 00

  Over it's over sexual abuse spread out amongst thirteen hundred people.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  So how much is that?

• 49:34Speaker 00

  That's less than a million a person. I'll tell you that much. I think it should be more.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  I mean, it should be several billions and they should dissolve the church.

• 49:41Speaker 00

  Yep. Well, of course.

• 49:42Speaker 01

  I want the every building in the Catholic church to be dissolved.

• 49:46Speaker 00

  I remember when they redid St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York and like they, they closed it down and then put millions into it and literally paved the walls with gold.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  So you get molested.

• 49:56Speaker 00

  People sitting outside.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  So you get molested by the hand of God and then you receive six hundred fifteen thousand dollars before taxes.

• 50:04Speaker 00

  And before a lawyer gets paid.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. That's who's really making the money on this fucking thing.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Nobody's making any money. It's fucking garbage.

• 50:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  It's a garbage thing. They have way more money than that. They absolutely could have paid more than that. They should have paid twice that.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  They said that they have to sell properties. They have to, they're trying to raise three hundred million to be able to pay it. I, I call bullshit.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Who gives a fuck? Yeah. You're full of shit. You're lying.

• 50:23Speaker 00

  You know who's paying for it?

• 50:24Speaker 01

  The people going to church.

• 50:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. All the titers.

• 50:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:27Speaker 00

  You fucking pieces of shit. So fuck all of you. All the Catholics going and throwing shit in the fucking bin are the ones paying for this. Thirteen hundred kids are reported. That's insane.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  It's not enough. It's just not enough.

• 50:40Speaker 00

  It's not enough money and it's not, it's plenty of children.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  A lot of children. Yeah.

• 50:47Speaker 00

  How lazy are these priests? These are children's, this is ridiculous stuff. These are fucking, what are we doing here?

• 50:53Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 50:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, let's, oh, this other one I also really like, um.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  What's it with Jeopardy? Huh?

• 51:01Speaker 00

  Well, the game shows.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Philip DeSena, two time Jeopardy champion. She got busted for, for possessing CSAM.

• 51:10Speaker 00

  Piles and piles and piles of CSAM. He ten charges of second degree sexual exploitation of a minor and he's great at trivia.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. But he was already in December of 2025 charged as a peeping tom.

• 51:25Speaker 00

  No.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  And installing cameras in the bathroom of a beach rental home in Corolla.

• 51:29Speaker 00

  You know what it is? Is that he really should have been brought back for the hall of champions. And I think he just had extra time in his hands.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  And it was a big deal for him.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  He won forty six thousand, six hundred and ninety eight dollars over two games in Jeopardy back in November of 2024.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  What is happening over there?

• 51:46Speaker 00

  I mean, just cause, I mean, you figure he would have learned how to get away with this.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  Do you think it's trivia? Do you think the problem is trivia?

• 51:53Speaker 00

  I mean, I, I'm not a trivia guy.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Side stories, L P O T L at gmail.com. What is your local trivia, uh, drama?

• 52:00Speaker 00

  I feel like.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  I want to find out. I want to hear your local trivia drama. I want to find out about like who's running those things. Cause it's like, you know, trivia is always hosted by a standup. A lot of times like a local standup.

• 52:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. Or someone with the, you know, who thinks they have a good personality.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. And they never do. It's like never, it's like somebody who's like, did like of essentially like the first version of AI humor.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  Was a person who hosts trivia contests and like bingo things at, at bars and stuff.

• 52:27Speaker 00

  I hosted trivia plenty of times.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. Same thing. Exactly.

• 52:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 52:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  It's like one of those things where you just ha, as a comedian, you do these things.

• 52:35Speaker 00

  You know what I hate about trivia and the trivia host? They always pretend like they actually know all these answers.

• 52:40Speaker 01

  That makes me angry.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  Look it up and get the trivia questions and like, it's like, no, you don't, you're not some master.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  And we.

• 52:46Speaker 00

  You don't sit here and fucking know everything.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. This is like when they're, this is like Latin math stuff. This comes always back to priests. This all comes back to you acting like you have all the answers just because they're in the book in front of you.

• 52:55Speaker 00

  I feel like one, a true trivia host should just be able to know all the shit and then just be like, able to like throw questions out willy nilly.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  I feel like that'd be amazing.

• 53:06Speaker 00

  I do feel that is a very high standard.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  Extremely high standard for this, especially for like Oka Chokes, you know, in car, you know, Carnegie, Pennsylvania. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think it needs.

• 53:19Speaker 00

  Well, you, you know, one.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  Level of, you're talking about like the brainiac from Superman cartoons.

• 53:25Speaker 00

  Well, you get specialty people in there. One week it's an auto mechanic. Next time a doctor. Next guys, you know, you get Coppola in there.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  Guess how many times I shit today?

• 53:34Speaker 00

  Here we go. We're back to auto mechanic night. We're all gonna guess how long my fucking crack is.

• 53:41Speaker 01

  All right. Person who gets it with a half an inch gets a free croissant which.

• 53:47Speaker 00

  Eighteen point five inches.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  You got it.

• 53:49Speaker 00

  Right on the money.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 53:53Speaker 00

  All right. Now I need you to come here and measure the old girl.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  Measures twice. Cut once. No, it's good. No, it's really, really good. So we're, I guess we're, we're almost at some, I was going to talk about the UFO files that were recently released. They are fucking big old nothing burger.

• 54:13Speaker 00

  It's triangle.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Uh, total garbage. Uh, we are still in that psyop and we are not getting out of it anytime soon.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  Oh, this is kind of a funner story than the Catholic one. We have a different sex offender. A registered sex offender accused of posing as a teenage girl to a role in a high school. That's right. Twenty nine year old man. He's a registered sex offender.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  Uh, he.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  This is why it's funny.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Yes. There's a funny reason why.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  He registered to Maple Grove Senior High School. Um, and he's, he registered as a seventeen year old named Molly with no parents as a homeless youth.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  He was a homeless youth named Molly with no last name.

• 54:51Speaker 00

  And then he let her, and then while he was registering, he said that, uh, sometimes, uh, I get mistaken for Michaela Craig, a registered sex offender from Oregon.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  But that's a totally understandable fucking mistake.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Pay attention to that.

• 55:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 00

  That's not me. I'm Molly.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  Yes. Cause like, so Craig says, Michaela Craig said, he's like, he never got to go to school and he really wanted to get the quote unquote full experience. And he, the idea of being like, just listen, just know, you might think I'm like a twenty seven year old guy, but I'm not. I'm a seventeen year old little girl named Molly. I'm a runaway from Oregon. Okay. Look at me. All right. You might think I'm a forty two year old Polish Italian man. Okay. By the name of Henry Zebrowski. As a matter of fact, that's not what you're seeing. I'm eighteen year old Tristan Rodriguez. I am from Mexico City. I am a runway model and I am here for experience in Nueva York.

• 55:49Speaker 00

  This is the second time it happened. In 2024, Craig was sentenced to forty days in jails after claiming to be a fifteen year old homeless teenager named Madison at a different school in Oregon.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  Is it kind of funny that he aged it the same exact years between rest?

• 56:02Speaker 00

  Yes. He's like, I aged two years. So now I'm seventeen. He's like, I, I can't, I used to be able to pass for a fifteen year old girl, but now I could just pass for a seventeen year old girl.

• 56:14Speaker 01

  Now I'm just maturing. I barely get carded anymore when I go to little girl things.

• 56:20Speaker 00

  No, I love this guy. Um, he's an absolute psychopath that needs to be put, he needs to be put in a concrete square.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  I mean, he's.

• 56:27Speaker 00

  He's gonna do something fucking horrific. God fucking knows what he's gonna do, but yeah. Uh, yeah. We're just laughing because.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  It's funny sitting here.

• 56:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. He's the only man I've ever known named Michaela. I'll tell you that much.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  He could have just went with Michaela.

• 56:41Speaker 00

  He could have just kept his name.

• 56:42Speaker 01

  Isn't that hilarious?

• 56:44Speaker 00

  And he could have just kept his normal name and have said I'm a seventeen year old named Michaela.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  I don't have a lady's name. I don't have a lady's name, except.

• 56:52Speaker 00

  I am a little girl.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  When I, yes.

• 56:59Speaker 00

  All right. I think it's time for some listener email.

• 57:02Speaker 01

  Ooh, Rob, we got any stingers?

• 57:04Speaker 00

  I got one. Uh, this one is actually really cool. It's from, uh, a guy named, uh, or a person named Dakota Ringer. Um, and they have a band called The Naked Eye. So let's check it out.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  Fun.

• 57:16Speaker 00

  Cool.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 57:27Speaker 00

  That's some white man soul right there.

• 57:43Speaker 00

  God, good steak.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Hell yeah, dude.

• 57:46Speaker 00

  That was good.

• 57:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, fucking peace, bro.

• 57:48Speaker 00

  Fucking the dookie's lip.

• 57:51Speaker 00

  And here we go.

• 57:53Speaker 00

  So, first of all, I want to address a question we asked last week about people, uh, why do you have an eyebrow slit?

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Oh, great.

• 58:02Speaker 00

  Like, why do you have a fucking little cut in your eyebrow? And we got so many responses that they are very funny, but this is like, so we got this from, we have a note from Pat, alright, this is really funny.

• 58:15Speaker 00

  Reasons I have one, in order. Number one, I grew up in the trailer park. Number two, my name is Tyler. Number three, I'm queer and I'm hot. Absolutely makes sense.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  You know what? I'm glad you have it.

• 58:26Speaker 00

  Completely, that's exactly who I thought I would have it. An aimless bisexual drifter.

• 58:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, also, these, the eyebrow slit people are usually attractive.

• 58:38Speaker 00

  Oh, yes.

• 58:39Speaker 01

  Unfortunately.

• 58:40Speaker 00

  Yes, so, this is from Pat, alright, I love this. We got a bunch of emails about this. The most popular answers are that sometimes it's a gay thing, sometimes it's a Gen Z thing, sometimes it's the result of a cut or burn or bad reaction to a piercing that makes it impossible to regrow hair.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 58:56Speaker 00

  And that section of the eyebrow. We also got multiple emails saying that if a guy has a slit, it's a red flag and he's probably a pervert, but if a masked lesbian has it, it's hot.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  I mean, anytime a lesbian does anything, I'm down.

• 59:09Speaker 00

  Yes, as one woman said, it makes me think she has a great strap or finger game.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 59:16Speaker 00

  So, that's great, that's good to know, um...

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I, you know, the, the scar makes a lot of sense, uh, I, I don't think it's just a young man's thing, I remember this from when I was a kid, people have always been fucking shaving it.

• 59:28Speaker 00

  It was a hip hop thing.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:29Speaker 00

  It was a hip hop thing.

• 59:30Speaker 01

  But like a white kid hip hop thing, right?

• 59:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, a little bit, yeah, everybody did it, I think, for a little while.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Wow, but you know, yeah, because they used to do like the lines. Where'd that go? Do people still do that? They do the cool fades?

• 59:42Speaker 00

  Like, right in the back of their head and shit?

• 59:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, stuff like that.

• 59:44Speaker 00

  Oh my god, dude, I had this guy I played football with, he was fucking badass, he fucking beat the shit out of anyone, he was big as fuck, we used to call him the Dump Truck.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:53Speaker 00

  But he was very smart, and he went to go get Dump Truck, uh, uh, put into his, uh, the back of his head, right in the back of his head, but he has, he had a lisp, and the bartender, uh, the barber didn't hear him right, and he wrote Dunk Truck. And then he didn't know, because it was in the back of his head, and he came and showed us all.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  That's so funny.

• 1:00:12Speaker 00

  We're like, that's a Dump Truck.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  That's just so fucking funny. Yeah, they did need that, they need that.

• 1:00:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, Vanilla Ice did it.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  No, I remember Vanilla Ice.

• 1:00:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, Little Bow Wow had it.

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  Bow Wow, please. Yeah, well, yeah, he's an adult now. He's a full-on dog.

• 1:00:28Speaker 00

  Soldier Boy.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  Soldier Man.

• 1:00:29Speaker 00

  Soldier Man.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  Yes, please.

• 1:00:31Speaker 00

  They're all grown, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Is that David Beckham?

• 1:00:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Well, stupid, he looked bad there.

• 1:00:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  Alright, here we go, so, this is another, another question we asked.

• 1:00:38Speaker 00

  And it's vanilla frostbite, no. Enough time's up.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  Thank you, enough time has passed. We asked straight up, if you have one ball, do you come less? And the answer is no. My ex-husband years ago developed a lump in his sack, it seemed like a third testicle, doctor said it's fine, if it starts hurting, come back. Year later, ex-husband was in prison, and his third egg was diagnosed as cancerous. So, the state paid for him to have it, and the right testicle removed, now he's cancer-free. After he came home, I can confirm that he came the same amount as before, in fact, this is how we got our, what we call our Bob Ross baby, because he was a happy little accident. Accident. Well, I'm glad he's out of jail, and then he immediately came inside of you and made a baby.

• 1:01:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, and, wow, the memory, to know, they're like, honey, you're still coming the same amount.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  It's the same puddle. It's the same puddle, look at the old pictures.

• 1:01:27Speaker 00

  Look at this, the shot glass is still three quarters full.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  I knew God would heal me, as long as I said I'm sorry for mail fraud. I'm sorry for mail fraud.

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  I swear to god, baby, you come just as much as you used to.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Thank you, baby.

• 1:01:46Speaker 00

  I was so worried, I was so, didn't know if my calm would still be good.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  I, um, I still don't believe this, though, I know that people say yes, but I, I don't, I don't know how one ball can make the same amount of comas too.

• 1:02:05Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 1:02:06Speaker 01

  Did a doctor write in, or just a prison wife?

• 1:02:08Speaker 00

  No, prison wife. A prison wife who's been carefully looking at her husband's cum the entire time, and I'm certain it was in her back of her mind.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  And then it was in the back of her pussy.

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  In her throat.

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Yep, here we go, so, we have, this, alright, this is one long email, this is one last little email, I'm gonna read all, this is a lot going on in this email.

• 1:02:25Speaker 00

  Alright, cool.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  We're close to Halloween, and I'd like to share a story about the time I saw what I believed to be a genuine ghost, and it hits all the things Marcus, Henry, and Ed like. Marcus' historical context, Henry's love of ghosts, and Ed's skepticism.

• 1:02:39Speaker 00

  Okay, good, I was hoping he was gonna say cheeseburgers.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  No, we all were. When I was about eighteen, I went with my father to go ghost hunting, that's where you find him. At this point in my life, I was very interested in ghosts, having a few experiences of my own when I was a child. I connected with my father after never really knowing him, and he took me to the last Jericho Covered Bridge near Jerusalem Mill Village in Maryland. Now, this is for Marcus. Founded in the seventeen seventies by a Quaker settlement, the Grist Mill supplied flour to the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War, and later served local communities during the Civil War. My father told me it was the Goatman Bridge. We parked near the bridge late at night, never really saw anything, but it was a very creepy experience, and after that, I joined my father and his then-girlfriend for ghost hunting.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  For Henry, there's a field where I witnessed my first visible ghostly experience. We were halfway out in the field, returning to his car, it wasn't, and I saw what looked to be someone crossing the field, kneeled down, adjusted their hat, and continued walking. They vaporized while they walked into the woods. At first, we thought it was a holding fishing rod, but quickly realized it was a rifle of some sort. What makes it creepy to me is that you could tell the characteristics of their features, the hat, the gun, the garb, but it was all distinctly very dark green, like a silhouette. I'd recorded on a flip phone, but, you know, you can't really see it, because it's grainy. For Ed, I'm skeptical, I'm skeptical, because I later learned from a former coworker who used to do Civil War reenactments, that they like to mess with people, especially around Gettysburg. That makes total sense.

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  For Henry, Marcus, and Ed, after finding out my father was a pedophile, I stopped talking to him. In my twenties, I went back with my ex-girlfriend, I lost my virginity on that field, while a bunch of eyes from what I'm guessing were animals were watching. It was also during a meteor shower, nothing spooky happened that night.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  Great. That is a full story, that nothing happened really.

• 1:04:36Speaker 00

  There's a field in this town, and there used to be, they used to make flour.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  You had that fucking left turn there.

• 1:04:42Speaker 00

  You got laid in the field and no one knew.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  And your old time, old time, your father was just a Civil War-obsessed pedophile.

• 1:04:49Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  Well, you know, live your life every day, wanting to be a World War II-obsessed pedophile.

• 1:04:54Speaker 00

  It's so interesting to like so much old stuff.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  And, but love little, new stuff, yeah, it's amazing, it's amazing, uh, you know, live every day knowing for a fact that you could become a ghost to somebody else in a historical field, and love that fact, and, and laugh, thinking about how you are gonna reveal as a ghost to a family, in their dreams, that their father of the family's a pedophile. Um, also, R.I.P. Eric Bousen.

• 1:05:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, man, you were cool, dude.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  The guy did all the voices for Looney Tunes, he is a friend of a friend, uh, I know a lot of people that knew him.

• 1:05:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, man, Coyote vs. Acme was fucking awesome.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  Extremely sad, I, it's, it's sad too, because he died of a heart attack in his sleep, but at least it wasn't something else, honestly, I'm just like, it's just so fucked. Uh, honestly, you know what his death reminds me to say? Which is, if you were a man, over forty, and I'm sorry, y'all, gotta start going to the fucking doctor.

• 1:05:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't fuck around with this shit.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  Unfortunately, that's how it is.

• 1:05:54Speaker 00

  With the sleep apnea too, you know, it can randomly take you.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  Sleep apnea is extremely stressful on your heart, especially in, because you're only getting it really if you're overweight.

• 1:06:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  So, it's all stressful on your heart, it's very, very, it's very hard on your body.

• 1:06:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. Either way, we'll be sharing our sleep apnea with you in Portland, Maine.

• 1:06:10Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:06:11Speaker 00

  It's, uh, November fourteenth, that show was sold out. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, we just released, we just, Henry just coughed some tickets up.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  No, I'm sorry, just sleep apnea'd up some tickets.

• 1:06:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's right, there's, we, um, we added some standing room tickets to the Portland, Maine show, it's been sold out for a while, people have been really, uh, hitting us up, and so, we were able to add some standing room, so, uh, if you want to go see that show, go see that show.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  Go, please.

• 1:06:34Speaker 00

  Burlington, Vermont's got like, seven tickets left, who knows if it's gonna be sold out by the time the show's over.

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  Come out to Burlington!

• 1:06:40Speaker 00

  That's gonna be on November fifteenth. On December third, Henry and I, Henry's hosting Ed Larson and Friends down in Pasadena at the Ice House, come check that out, I'm gonna be doing those shows more often, and then, Iowa City, come with, uh, shit! That's gonna be on December eleventh, that's a big ol' fat room, let's sell it out.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I mean, we, we have no idea how many listeners we have out there, just come on out to Iowa City, we're gonna have fun out there, and it's gonna be cold as fuck.

• 1:07:09Speaker 00

  That's right, and then the following night, Columbia, Missouri, sold out, over at the Blue Note, that's gonna be on December twelve, thank you for buying those tickets, we'll see you there, we're gonna have some fun, and then, on December thirteenth, the very next day, I'm going to Helium Comedy Club in St. Louis, so come party with me, we'll, uh, sing some Christmas songs, I got Logan Metz coming with me, the great piano player, uh, it's gonna be a fucking blast, I can't wait to see you guys.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  It's gonna be fucking awesome. Hail, sweet Satan. Happy Halloween, motherfuckers.

• 1:07:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, happy Halloween, and I'll double hail Satan for Halloween, uh, Satan deserves it, um, make sure you're being safe out there, uh, don't drive, and, uh, just, it's, remember, just remember it's the night that every fucking jerk off who never drinks is out drinking.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's amateur night, so go out there and have fun, for those of us that are professional spooky people, I'm keeping it scary, we're gonna have some people over the house, we're gonna give out some candy, really excited.

• 1:08:01Speaker 00

  I'm just gonna watch horror movies this year, but I fucking love you guys, be good to yourselves, and, uh, see you next week.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  See you, fuckers.

• 1:08:10Speaker 05

  No two businesses run the same, so banking for your business shouldn't be one-size-fits-all. That's why Atlantic Union Bank offers knowledgeable guidance and tailored solutions designed around your goals. Whether you're managing cash flow, moving money, or protecting your business from fraud, we make banking for your business both personal and easy. Call, visit us online at AtlanticUnionBank.com, or stop by one of our local branches today. Atlantic Union Bank, any way you bank.

• 1:08:40Speaker 06

  Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie. One thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. For decades, Angie's helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find a pro for your project at Angie.com.