Side Stories: Cannibal Cats & Dubious Dogs

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's biggest stories and true crime news - Joey Chestnut set to defend hot dog title while on probation, The Enhanced Games fails, Reddit's Cannibal Cat, Nebraska Dog shoots woman with shotgun at convenience store, China's new AI Pet Translator, Shady Sherpas caught running schemes around Everest, Tom Selleck Catfish Incident leads to murder-suicide, Listener E-Mails, and MORE!

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Between birds and nap times, it's hard to compete for your cat's attention. But Temptations' cat treats will have them meowing for affection. Even the most fickle felines find Temptations' crunchy cat treats irresistible. Crunchy outside, soft inside, and under two calories per treat. For a fun, perfectly creamy treat, try Temptations' lickable puree. Looking for a way to make bonding with your feline friend even better? Try America's number one cat treat brand, Temptations' cat treats. Cats can't resist.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. The message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com.

• 1:01Speaker 03

  There's no place to escape to. This is the lost. On the left.

• 1:06Speaker 04

  Side stories?

• 1:08Speaker 03

  That's when the cannibalism started.

• 1:11Speaker 04

  Side stories, yes.

• 1:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, Julie and I, we had a nice collective outing last night. We both enjoyed ourselves and went and saw the Mandalorian and Grogu movie. Oh, wow, so you went on a date. That's really nice. Yeah, we went to Guisados and we got our tacos. I love Guisados. Thank God also, I want to say thank you so much for supporting, like, small IPs. People just making stuff out there that are just trying to make. It's literally small IPs, because he's so tiny. He's, oh, fuck, all right, well. He's adorable. You would actually really like this movie. I was, you know, no spoilers, but I was surprised on how graphic it was. What do you mean? I mean, he like, he like tries to like suck his own dick. Are you serious? Yeah.

• 2:06Speaker 04

  Grogu. Are you fucking serious? Grogu fucking tries to blow himself. Is that real? Halfway through the movie. Yeah, it's real. You gotta go see it. I'm looking it up. You know, it's not gonna have the spoiler. You can't look that up. Is it true? You have to go to AMC. Actually, no, I think you should go to an independent theater. Tries to suck. Go to the Landmark. Yeah, he tries to suck his own dick. You know, it's okay because he's not a child. Did you know that? No, we know that. We covered this. Yeah, he's 50. No, we know. We covered this. He can suck his own dick if he wants to. Uh, says no, that is not true. Oh, come on. AI is fucking sham. 60% wrong. And this is the proof. It says right here. The proof is in his own pudding. According to Google AI, it says no, that is not true. What does Google AI really say?

• 2:50Speaker 04

  It says no, that is not true. Grogu, often referred to as Baby Yoda from The Mandalorian, does not exhibit any such behavior. He's an infant character in the Star Wars universe whose actions are strictly limited to innocent, childlike behaviors, like using the Force, napping, and eating things like- Using the Force is not an innocent, childlike behavior. That's according to Google AI. That is not an innocent child like that you could fucking kill. He rips things to shreds. Any claims or memes suggesting otherwise are entirely fabricated by internet users. So what did I watch? I think you watched straight up gay pornography.

• 3:30Speaker 04

  I think everyone should go to Rush to the Theater. Rush to the Theater. To see Grogu. Before they cut this out. Oh, yeah, cuz that's the thing. Cuz like, this is the censors. This was, isn't this the what's his name? This is the Abel Ferrara cut. Which is the what's his name? Who did Blue is the Warmest Color? I feel like it's, didn't he get it? Isn't he doing a Star Wars movie? Isn't the guy from Blue is the Warmest Color, isn't he gonna do something with Chewbacca? Where they have open vaginas? Am I wrong, Rob? I don't think so. Is that on, what's the buzz on that? Imagine they just shaved Chewbacca and he's got huge fucking tits. Nothing. Oh my, imagine, how likable would Chewbacca be with tits? A Q score? Oh my god. All the way up. Q score all the way up. Bye, Slave Leia. You got caught.

• 4:15Speaker 04

  I like free ass, big titted, naked, shorn Chewbacca. Welcome to Side Stories. I'm really glad Eddie did the bit. Eddie said, I have this bit I'm wanting to do. You always go first. I do, and I'm happy. Grogu. So I couldn't, I was like, guys, this is a lot. Yeah. This is a lot. Buried in there. And then like four minutes into the, the self fellatio, it gets entertaining.

• 4:44Speaker 04

  Why? Cause he's like, he's like on a slippery surface. At first you're looking around, you're like, oh, why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? This is fucked up. And then you're like, this is artistic. He did grow up a lot. It's a choice. Yeah. He really, he grew up quite a bit. I'm sitting here with curious Star Wars fan, Ed Larson. You ever try to blow yourself when you were a kid? Uh, no, because. I don't believe that for a second. No, because I, I've never, this is, we've covered this on, on round table. We've covered this all over the years. Round table. I'm just saying, all over the, for the years, I've never been compelled to wanna suck my own penis cause I've never wanted to suck a penis. Okay. But even if it's your own? Especially if it's my own.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  I never tried, cause I know I'm not flexible. I like, can't touch my toes even as a child. No. So I know it's like a fruitless. No, in order for me to suck me off to the point where I like it, I would have to like it. Yeah. And I'd have to separate me sucking me off from the suck itself. Could you, but yeah, here's the thing. Can you separate the pain of your mouth to the joy of your cock? No. Actually, I'll give you a straight answer. No, I can't. What it would do to my back would hurt and that would all hurt and the sucking of it would not be that fun. Honestly, I feel like the sucking of it would be my, the, the, a lack of pleasure I would have in sucking it. Yeah.

• 6:07Speaker 04

  Would make me not happy. Me, me sucking the penis in general. Yeah. Would make me not jazzed. Yeah. The last thing you want. But I'd get jizzed. If I did it right, which I won't. You, I don't think, yeah, cause you don't wanna like after you jizz be like, I wish I didn't do that. You know, you don't want that feeling. I mean, I do, I do that, but that's different. That's alone. That's more of a, the sad, empty feeling. Suck your own dicks alone. No, but that's, but it's you, you, it's too much. All right. It's called post nut clarity. Oh, sure. Yes, that's what I've heard. Side Stories L P O T L at gmail dot com. I would love to hear one actual story. And I think this is just like snuff films. Yeah. I don't think anybody's ever sucked their own dick till they came inside their mouth.

• 6:51Speaker 04

  And I'd love to, if you know a single person, you send me a picture of their driver's license. That's what I wanted. I want you to ask your friend that says, oh, I definitely sucked penis. And my own penis and came into my own mouth. And I want you to send a picture of it. Here's the picture from the driver's license to me. And then what do we send them in return? Nothing. Nothing? No, I read you on the story. You get to embarrass your friend on the show. You get to embarrass your friend on the show and that's what you get. And that is a huge, huge get. Yeah. Well, we have a light episode today in terms of just like, not material, well, in just in terms of it's nice, it's a little bit less. It's a classic Side Stories episode today. So we got a couple of updates. Number one, the single most American man you have ever met,

• 7:36Speaker 04

  that is, you've never met, you can't meet him. And if you do meet him, it might slap you in the face, but that's just because you better not talk mess about his favorite tubed meat. He might be one of the few people I'd pay for a meet and greet with. Maybe. I might. Yes, I might. Just because. An eat and greet. You know what would be nice about paying to see Joey Chestnut is that he then he would take it as a job. Because if he takes it as a job, he's gonna nail it. Mm-hmm. But it seems that his one-on-one fan interaction might not be all that great, but we have really, really good news. In the single most American headline of all time, Joey Chestnut has been cleared to defend hot dog eating title at the nation's 250th birthday celebration despite

• 8:19Speaker 04

  being on probation for battery. I think that the reason why he's even going, I mean, like, it's, it is of the time. Yes. To have somebody on probation. I think most of the people at the 250th will be on probation. I hope so. You know, like, but I think, well, yeah, they have an escape from jail. Yeah. They will be there because they, I feel like the 250th celebration this year will be the most ankle monitors we've ever seen on the White House lawn.

• 8:48Speaker 04

  Like this is gonna be the most on parole outing. Wasn't the point of the ankle monitor so you can't leave or are they? They have to be at the White House. They'd have to be at the White House. Have to be there, yeah. Right, and then hopefully participating in the games. But this, I guess they are doing this for the 250th year for July 4th. Joey Chestnut is being released conditionally from his jail in Indiana. Which is hilarious to come to New York City. Hold on, so he's actually in jail? He was, he now is under, he has 180 days probation. He's not supposed to leave Indiana. Oh. Right, so he's not supposed to leave the state of Indiana. Well, he's gotta work. Well, well, could you not do a hot dog eating championship in Indianapolis?

• 9:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, if you don't wanna make fucking money and they eat sausage there. Do you wanna go to, honestly, if Joey Chestnut really wanted to be a champion, he'd go to the sun punching competition that happens in Gary. You ever seen that one where you punch, and they line up suns? Oh, yes. And one father tries to punch as many suns as he can. The Joe Jackson Sun Punching Festival. Yeah, until his hand breaks. He does it till his hand breaks and then, but this year we're hoping to get to a baker's dozen kids. Yeah. That'll be the new record. But Joey Chestnut was in a bar in Indiana getting pretty fucking hammered. As he does. He says, Joey Chestnut does not remember the incident. Wow, so he's blackout. He got fully blackout. And according to him, or according to a video he saw after the fact. I don't know if I miss getting blackout drunk or not.

• 10:18Speaker 04

  I really don't miss getting blackout drunk. I don't miss wondering or feeling deeply embarrassed. Yeah, just waking up and be like, oh, fuck, who do I gotta call? Well, thankfully I never black, like, thankfully or not thankfully, I never blackout. I would definitely feel as if I was driving from the backseat. Yeah. But I definitely wasn't blacked out. You think back in the day when we were going hard in Murder Fist, you never blacked out? Tallahassee, it was more like that, but not in New York, no. Yeah. I could never drink enough. Oh, good for you. And stay awake. Yeah, well, I worked at too many sports bars. There was nothing I could do about that. Thank God I got out of that. Business, you saved my life. Hey, hey, welcome. Hey, welcome to this. Into the incredible world of show business. Now Joey Chestnut, he's in show business.

• 11:03Speaker 04

  And apparently he did this thing, which we've all done. Yeah. Probably in less observed times where if person came up to him, do you shake his hand? And it seems they got into like a funny little tussle thing, according to Joey Chestnut, when he watched the video after the fact. But then he took it a bit too far when I guess he started slapping him in the face. Now Joey Chestnut. The guy started slapping Joey? No. Joe, he started slapping the fan. But the thing is, is that we don't know what he did. We don't know whether or not this was a situation. Was it a fun slap? They don't, the video's not released. No, Joey Chestnut's saying he thinks, he entirely admits fault. And says, I'm sorry, I'm black, I was blacked out, I gotta figure out what I'm, what's going on in my life.

• 11:47Speaker 04

  He, he did say that, but he's like, it did seem like I was having fun. Whatever it was that I was doing, but I hurt the man while I was having fun. We didn't know, Joey Chestnut's kind of a big boy, six foot one. Yeah. He's six foot one, two ten, between two ten, two thirty, right? Yeah. He is, he's a big boy. And so it seems they got into a little like what would have been a funny tussle, but then he was really intoxicated. And then he might've really hurt this man and he slapped him a bunch in the face. Now, we don't know whether or not the man who came up to him was saying stuff like, "Oh, Mr. Hot Dog Man, Dixie can eat all the hot dogs." It's definitely what happened. You're at a bar in Indiana and Joey Chestnut walks in. "Oh, you want some mustard?

• 12:30Speaker 04

  I got it in my fucking mustard distributor." You know, like, and then he's having to go like, "Hey, listen, I'm off the clock, okay?" Yeah, not today, wait, you bring it to Nathan's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, when you see me out there at comments, we can talk. Yeah. You don't see forty pounds of escargot in front of me, do you? You see, I'm at work, right? And normally I'm eating fifteen double pounders, all right? But now I'm here drinking bales because that's my real life, right? And so then the guy probably, who knows? And then he could be like, "I bet I can eat more hot dogs than you, I got a bigger throat." "I got a big ass throat." I'm Joey Chestnut, I'm a champion. "I bet you fucking like pigs in a blanket." Yeah, of course. And this fucking, this cracks of the mouth.

• 13:14Speaker 04

  Fucking cracks him in the fucking mouth. Alright, so I ran into Michael Moore at a bar, not Michael Moore, the fat documentarian. Yeah, I was about to say, he's like, cause I bet he could eat a lot of hot dogs. I bet he could do well. No, Michael Moore, the boxer, the guy who knocked out, um, and won the title from, uh, Foreman, or did he lose the Foreman? Can we look that up real quick? Yeah, can we have a straight man fact? Yeah. Straight man fact? Uh, but anyway, so I recognized Michael Moore, I was at a bar, this is years ago, this is before I even knew you, and I saw him in a bar, we're all drinking, getting blackout, and I cozy up to him like, "Michael Moore?" And he's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." And then we just talking and drinking, we like, had a nice night. You call him champ? Yeah, of course. That's always, always gotta call him champ. Oh dude, I got, I got to call, uh, I got to call Frasier Champ once, no one recognized him, and he was

• 14:00Speaker 04

  walking around at the, uh, it was the, uh, the roast of, uh, Tarantino, and, uh, he was walking around, and I was like, "What's up champ?" And he's like, and he stopped and shook my hand, it was very cool. But, um, so I see Michael Moore, uh, and at the bar, and I recognized him immediately, he's got a very distinct face, and I was like, we're just talking, I asked him, I was like, "Do people like, try to fight you?" And he's like, "Man, all the goddamn time." He's like, "People always try to fight me." That's the last person you wanna fight, sorry. It's, uh, yes, um, he beat Evander Holyfield. He beat Holyfield, but he lost to Foreman, is what it was. When Foreman came back? When Foreman came, that was the one, two, the slow two punch? Yeah. Which people said it was a fix, but if you really watched that? No dude, he's got, his arms are both like a hundred pounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:43Speaker 04

  And he knows what to do, he is one of the hardest with punching boxers ever in all of history. Yeah, but remember, he's saying the, yeah, that's, so this happens to these people. Of course, and Joey Chestnut, he pled guilty to Mr. Mina Banary, so that is kinda cool, he pled guilty, he acknowledged what he's doing, so he got a hundred eighty days. If you slap somebody than if you punch somebody? No, I don't think so. It should be. No, it's all assault. It should be, it should be like heavy assault. There is, there is levels depending on what you do to the person, but you can't get, once you get to those worlds. Off a hat, it's assault. And that shouldn't be the same as fucking punching you in the face eight times. It's all about severity and the cops gonna call it as they see it. Largely, they're gonna call it as they see it.

• 15:24Speaker 04

  But normally, as soon as there's physical contact, it's assault, especially in a domestic violence situation. And then depending on the state, they might have to do something. So if they, if any physical contact happens, which I agree with, I think that's how it goes. If we are getting to the point where we're calling the police, then obviously something is going on. What about shoulder check? Shoulder check should be allowed. You couldn't do that no matter what. I feel like a shoulder check is plausible deniability. Yeah, I mean, we all have done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've all done it. Everybody, everybody's challenged somebody else. Get out of the way. I'm trying to get off the subway. Of course, you gotta do it, alright? But the thing is, is that because of his indiscretion, Joey Chestnut was, of course, in danger of not being able to perform this year. And this is a crucial fucking year for hot dogs.

• 16:08Speaker 04

  It is a big year for hot dogs. Big ass year for hot dogs. Fuck whatever's happened and on the White House. I don't give a fucking shit. But for the hot dog eating competition? Yeah. This is a very big year. 250, I bet they're gonna have to like block off the streets more than usual down there. You know who else has performed while on probation? Who? And that was interesting. It's Mike Tyson, Michael Vick, Tiger Woods, Hope Solo. Okay. Who you met. I met Hope Solo, very attractive lady. Oh, yes. She was very nice. Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She didn't try to hit me or nothing. Wow, you see, that's again, and that's because you aren't a habitual fucking line stepper, Eddie. And you're not. Now, we do know that he was not allowed, Joey Chestnut, he says that he was not allowed.

• 16:48Speaker 04

  Remember 2024 famously, he had taken his impossible foods, the, the, the fake meat company, he'd taken an advertising. Yeah, they got mad at that. He got a worse deal for eating vegan food. He did? Than he did for slapping a human being and getting arrested. He really did. He got way more punished for it, which is true. Um, cause he said, and then Chestnut then said inside him, putting together some other thing, he did an impromptu separate event. In 2024, where he competed against four army soldiers and fought a five-minute hot dog eating contest. He ate 57 dogs in five minutes. The other guys ate 49 combined. Oh, you know, he was just relaxing because when he's got to do it fast for Nathan's, he eats like 70, I think.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  Oh, dude, because then the Patrick, yeah, Patrick Burtletti, Burtletti, who won the national Nathan's that year because he was still there, right? He obviously, he got the gold just because the fucking champion wasn't around. He got 58 dogs in 10 minutes. So when 2025, when Joey Chestnut went back, he fucking put down a staggering 70 and a half hot dogs and he won, but he was still five short of his record. And he is still very, very upset because he wants to come back because according to Joey Chestnut, this sport isn't about eating.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  It's about drive or dedication to the death of the day. Hot dog eating challenges both my body and my mind.

• 18:23Speaker 04

  Hey, he fucking, right before he defended the title in 2014, he um, he did engage to his, he got engaged to his girlfriend, but they broke up a year later because she couldn't handle the heat. Yeah.

• 18:34Speaker 05

  How many hot dogs could you guys do in 10 minutes, you think?

• 18:36Speaker 04

  In 10 minutes?

• 18:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  Oh, man, probably like if I had to, yeah, five, maybe six. I am not a, I'm not a speed eater. Yeah. Also, I don't, I want to enjoy it. They don't put like condiments on it, you know, it's just dipping it in water. It just seems gross to me. You know what? I feel like I could like go toe to toe with people. Shrimp. Yo, no, I was about to say same goddamn thing. Scallops. I bet I could go, I bet I can go hard on scab. I think I could eat a solid 200 shrimp. I have, I have an unending belly for shrimp. I can eat shrimp till I throw up. I can eat shrimp till I pass out. There is something about it in crawfish. What's the most shrimp? Yeah.

• 19:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm looking it up right now.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:16Speaker 05

  Oh, Joey Chestnut has done some stuff.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  Oh, I bet.

• 19:18Speaker 05

  21 pounds of shrimp he ate.

• 19:20Speaker 04

  Woo!

• 19:23Speaker 04

  200 shrimps in eight minutes. This is a lot. 21 pounds.

• 19:28Speaker 05

  That's a lot of shrimp.

• 19:29Speaker 04

  You think you could handle that? No, I can't do 21 pounds or nothing. Yeah. I like eating it. Oh, and he used horseradish sauce. Oh, my God. Wow. What a man. That's a lot of shrimp. He's a real man. I wonder if you had to peel it? No. I mean, well, you know, that's kind of what I like about it is like taking my time, peeling it. This is for speed. This is for speed. You can't just be doing that. I like to relax with my shrimps. I like sucking them out. I suck them out of the tails. Oh, yeah, the heads. Yeah, look at that. Yeah, fuck yeah. He's eating all that shrimp. Oh, my God. He's just eating shrimp by the fucking handfuls. Oh, my God. That is truly, truly vile.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  This is like, that is not how, that is not, if there's a God, that is not how God intended for shrimp to be eaten. I mean, that is how a shrimp is intended to be eaten. It's quill. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy fucking shit, you're right. It's handfuls of fucking shrimp. It's just something about eating a handful of shrimp like it's an apple. That is just not good for you. It can't be good. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform that helps you stand out online. Yes, that's right. You don't have to smash your face with a hammer. You can just start a business. It's got everything you need on Squarespace, from securing your domain to building a professional

• 20:54Speaker 04

  site and showcasing your work all in one place. Let's say you want to show everybody how you can carve your ribs out of your lower abdomen so that you look more like a Ken doll. That's amazing. You can bring your vision to life with AI-powered design or curated templates, plus flexible editing tools that helps you create something that truly reflects your style, especially if you are somebody that is trying to corrupt the young men of America. That's what Squarespace is really going to help you. Squarespace makes it easy. It makes it easy for you to put all it together, and you just go to Squarespace and do it all. Thanks, Brayden. Head to Squarespace.com/left for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code LEFT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 21:39Speaker 00

  Between birds and nap times, it's hard to compete for your cat's attention. But Temptations cat treats will have them meowing for affection. Even the most fickle felines find Temptations crunchy cat treats irresistible. Crunchy outside, soft inside, and under two calories per treat. For a fun, perfectly creamy treat, try Temptations lickable puree. Looking for a way to make bonding with your feline friend even better? Try America's number one cat treat brand, Temptations cat treats. Cats can't resist.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. The message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com.

• 22:43Speaker 04

  These are like, these are like the enhanced games, whereas like, I know it's wrong, but I'm so morbidly curious. All right, so I watched some of the enhanced games, talking to the enhanced games. I watched some of them just because I was curious. And they were saying, according to, they brought that vampire millionaire guy on for some reason. The guy that's like 42, but looks 39. You know what I mean? He keeps replacing his fucking blood over and over again with his son's blood. Is that the guy with the big butt? What? It's the guy with BBLs that does pranks all the time. I just figured it was him. What are you fucking talking about? You don't know about the guy with BBLs that does pranks all the time? Rob, look it up while I'm talking about something. Look it up while I'm looking. Yeah, and he runs and he... Let me do something else.

• 23:26Speaker 04

  All right, so the enhanced games, we legitimately are nowhere near. They thought they were going to break all these records by having all of these guys in illegal equipment, using every single form of PED. They've got one world record. They got one. Yeah. Lady swimming. And it's really got a lot to do with the suits. What they're saying is it's like high-tech suits they were wearing. They were saying that some of the swimmers were so loaded on PEDs, they were literally sinking into the water.

• 23:55Speaker 04

  The uh, the mountain, the guy from Game of Thrones. Yeah. He fell a full thirty pounds short of his record. Dude, he's old. Thirty KGs. It doesn't matter. Game of Thrones was like ten years ago. He killed Pedro Pascal the first time any of us saw Pedro Pascal. No, I'm saying, he had set this up. The guy who played the mountain, he's been a very high level strong man competitor for a long time. Forty's. But that is technically preem, that's prime time for strong men. You think so? Yes. Oh, no, I know so. Your bones start going. No, dude, because the thing is, is that your mobility starts going. The worst part is that, like, the thing about the strongest men in the world is that they can't like walk upstairs. But they can do so many other things, like a big, carry a big rock. Yeah.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  They could throw a peg. They can do stuff like that. But they can't move fast. And they can't, and they're gonna die early. But before they do that, they're very strong. Yeah. And the mountain was really, he was prepping for this. This was a big deal because he was all juiced up to the fucking tits. Yeah. To get it over. I mean, they all lived. I feel like that's a triumph in the enhanced games. And none of them died while, but no, they were all, there's a lot of doctors there, a lot of guys in lab coats. A lot of doctors. You know, like the X Games, well, not X Games. What was it? The uh, when they did NFL, uh, the XFL? And they brought that back and they'd have like. Oh, yeah. Fake doctors and stuff. They let the players date the cheerleaders and shit. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. That was fun. He hate me. He was fun.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. He hate me. But it seems, it seems that the enhanced games were largely a failure. Fred Curly, uh, ran the hundred meters in nine point nine seven seconds, which is insane. Yeah. That's an insane amount, but it's still. Not the record. No, it's not. He did not beat Usain Bolt, who ran it in nine point five eight seconds. And he did it normal. Yeah, and he did it normal. Well, he did it Usain Bolt like. Yes, but just know that the enhanced games were not there yet. Hopefully, what I'm hoping in the further. They broke one. Versions. They got the one. They got the one. Um, Christian Gugelkam leave.

• 25:57Speaker 06

  They got that there.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  Good, good, good, American.

• 25:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 04

  How American these games are.

• 26:01Speaker 06

  Christian, who, come leave. He went, he got, that was a ma- sorry, I misspoke. It was not ladies swimming, it was men swimming. He won, but it doesn't matter, it doesn't count because he was on steroids.

• 26:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:10Speaker 06

  So, again, this is, I think we're just at the beginning of this enhanced games. Next thing I want, giant cages. I want them in mech suits with weapons, fighting each other. This is next. I feel like that's the-

• 26:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that's like ten, fifteen years off.

• 26:25Speaker 06

  Yeah, hopefully.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  No, we're gonna have to do enhanced games at least like eight times before we get to fighting to the death.

• 26:31Speaker 06

  I just want fighting, it doesn't even have to be the death, it's the fighting to the, to the, you're crippled.

• 26:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:36Speaker 06

  I would, that's what I prefer. If we're doing enhanced games, I want them to see them really do enhanced things. I want them on sort of like a giant spinning, like, mountain climbing wall that they'll fall off of into like a bunch of water filled with piranhas.

• 26:51Speaker 05

  Like American gladiators, but real.

• 26:52Speaker 06

  But real, like you actually can die in it.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  I know they have it in Vegas and it's a good place for it, but I feel like the best spot would be like Moscow.

• 26:59Speaker 06

  Oh, that's if we really want to do it, no, Dubai.

• 27:02Speaker 04

  Dubai?

• 27:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, just so that men can die legally.

• 27:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:06Speaker 06

  So that we can all be happy and really be entertained.

• 27:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, where can they do it and actually just kill people and it doesn't matter?

• 27:12Speaker 06

  Dubai.

• 27:13Speaker 04

  Dubai?

• 27:13Speaker 06

  Gary, Indiana. I'd say either one of those.

• 27:17Speaker 05

  Geez, there's anywhere where you can do a competition to death in 2020.

• 27:20Speaker 04

  Not in this economy.

• 27:22Speaker 06

  Hell, yeah. Alright, so we got a couple, one more update, Eddie.

• 27:25Speaker 04

  One more update, this guy, the, um, so last week we briefly talked about the, the billionaire who felt it was death, uh, back in 2024, and his son is, uh, currently being accused of pushing him off. And, uh, we weren't sure about it, there's a lot of things going on, obviously the, the story is still developing.

• 27:43Speaker 06

  When we first thought, I thought it was like a, a boy.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, I thought it was like a seventeen year old, just like, fuck you dad, you do anything, I hate-

• 27:50Speaker 06

  You won't let me have tapas in the night time.

• 27:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, but Jonathan Andick is a straight up man.

• 27:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  Who um, he works for the company Mango Fashion and he had to quit after he got arrested. And so now he's not even a part of the of the Mango Company anymore.

• 28:07Speaker 06

  What I love is is that he seems that he went and they're like, yes, they're like, oh, he wanted the the money. Right? He wanted the money. He was trying to kill his father for money, but it's just such a funny idea of being like. Aha, yes. I will push my father into the canyon.

• 28:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:24Speaker 06

  And no one will be the wiser because every man who goes along the canyon, he does a risk. And it ain't too late.

• 28:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I believe, you know, I was like, you know, and it makes sense, like, an old man could easily fall to his death.

• 28:41Speaker 06

  I mean, he does that same. Yeah, and there's definitely, uh, it's not like it's covered in CCTV's and it's not a very popular path and it's not a thing that they do every day. And it's not like he's, you know, his whereabouts would be heavily questioned about wherever he was even missing for an hour, you know?

• 28:54Speaker 04

  Well, I think, no, it wasn't like he went missing. It was like, he was like, oh, no.

• 28:57Speaker 06

  Oh, yai, yai, yai. I went there, I took my father and the next thing you know, he slipped on a plantain.

• 29:04Speaker 04

  But the problem is.

• 29:06Speaker 06

  Oh, there's so much pulpo. So much slippery pulpo.

• 29:12Speaker 04

  But the main issue with it is he visited the site three times prior.

• 29:17Speaker 06

  He wanted to make sure that this wasn't.

• 29:19Speaker 04

  And scouted it, but now I know what you're saying. You you scouted it. What's the big deal? I go to places more than once. I've been to Runyon Canyon 10 times. You know, like, you know, like, it's like, so.

• 29:30Speaker 06

  I mean, they ask you to leave. They think you're there to handle the goats.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  You know, so you're thinking about that. You're like, oh, so there's still like a little bit of plausible deniability. But then he um, they, his WhatsApp got leaked.

• 29:44Speaker 06

  Oh no.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, his WhatsApp got leaked and that's really what's leading to the um premeditated uh premeditated role here. And uh he asked certain things like um a judge's writ said that the relationship between the father and son had been deteriorating. Owning that Jonathan Arndt's obsession with money.

• 30:03Speaker 06

  Always.

• 30:03Speaker 04

  And his WhatsApp messages had expressed feelings of hatred, resentment and thoughts of death and blaming his father for his situation. My father will not let me go. Yeah. He will not let me go to the bull fight anymore. Yeah, he said, uh, we share many cherished, loving memories together.

• 30:20Speaker 06

  Of course they did. Yeah, sure. Like when he first gave him money, when he secondly gave him money, when he did, oh billionaire sons. They definitely are filled with, I guess, empathy?

• 30:33Speaker 04

  I don't know if that's true, but it does show that there is a cost of being a billionaire.

• 30:39Speaker 06

  There really is and sometime what that cost is, your family hates you.

• 30:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, your family hates you and they're gonna try and kill you and steal your money.

• 30:45Speaker 06

  But every billionaire knows that.

• 30:46Speaker 04

  That's part of it.

• 30:47Speaker 06

  Every single billionaire knows that.

• 30:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, we saw the movie. You ever see the movie Greedy?

• 30:50Speaker 06

  Well, yeah, but that's the reason why. I love the movie Greedy.

• 30:52Speaker 04

  Greedy's great.

• 30:53Speaker 06

  Love that movie with Kirk Douglas.

• 30:55Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:56Speaker 06

  Love that movie, but also, you know what it is? That's the problem with billionaires, right? Is that they're always like, oh, I'm a billionaire. Everybody wants to kill me. Now I have to fucking punish the world because everybody wants to kill me.

• 31:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:07Speaker 06

  They don't really understand if you had just got down to like nine hundred ninety-nine million, we wouldn't want to fucking kill you anymore. So maybe you just gotta think about just give enough money away to society where we won't want to fucking kill you anymore.

• 31:19Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, and also Mango Company is like on Russia's side in the Ukraine war.

• 31:23Speaker 06

  Oh, sure. They're doing great. Yeah, what, making them hats? Yeah, what are they doing for the fashion industry over there? I don't think the man's a nice man.

• 31:31Speaker 04

  No, probably not.

• 31:32Speaker 06

  No. Well, good riddance.

• 31:34Speaker 04

  Good riddance.

• 31:36Speaker 06

  And I hope they're all punished one by one because everybody hates. I cannot believe you're wearing that silver jacket.

• 31:44Speaker 04

  I know there's a good chance I'm completely wrong here, but I feel like if I were going to prison for the rest of my life, I'd want to do it in Spain.

• 31:50Speaker 06

  Oh, of course.

• 31:51Speaker 04

  Get napped.

• 31:52Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 31:53Speaker 04

  Speak about shrimp. I know it's half of it shrimp probably.

• 31:55Speaker 06

  Spain is, you get all the coke and the red wine.

• 31:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

• 31:59Speaker 06

  So many, I'd love to go to prison in Spain.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, prison in Spain, yeah.

• 32:03Speaker 06

  We're gonna get so many, we're gonna get so many, just, side stories, L P O T L at gmail dot com. What's prison in Spain like?

• 32:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, do you like it? How, are you, are you, are you watching this on Netflix? It's in prison in Spain, is that how nice it is?

• 32:15Speaker 06

  Alright, here we go. Alright, we got, we got a great story here. This is extremely important. There's a lot of times, I know we've covered, well, like, you know, between the Iranian revolution.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:25Speaker 06

  And, uh, Jeffrey Epstein.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 32:27Speaker 06

  And, and alligator Alcatraz, really funny stuff. This is one of the more serious stories, because you just never know your pets.

• 32:36Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:36Speaker 06

  You never really know them. Uh, they are mysterious, and honestly, this is another example of why I'm glad we don't have cats.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is a Reddit article.

• 32:46Speaker 06

  This is not.

• 32:47Speaker 04

  Not an article, Reddit post, asking for help, I guess.

• 32:50Speaker 06

  I'm not, again, this is not anti-cat.

• 32:52Speaker 04

  No.

• 32:53Speaker 06

  Well, I'm fine with cats. We're, again, we're not anti-cat. This is just a specific, because I will counter this with the dog story, just understand.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm. This comes from, um, a man, a user named, uh.

• 33:04Speaker 06

  Eldritch Pussy Maggots.

• 33:06Speaker 04

  So, yeah.

• 33:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:08Speaker 04

  So, yeah.

• 33:09Speaker 06

  So.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  Remember that when you hear the story.

• 33:10Speaker 06

  So I'm just gonna read this real quick. This comes from Reddit, everybody's favorite place. Not really looking for a fix, just informa-, just looking for information. My cat, seven years old, male, neutered, has already been to two behaviorists when my parents had him. Both were confused, according to my parents. This is a known issue. But it hasn't caused any problems, because he's not allowed to interact with other cats whatsoever.

• 33:32Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 33:33Speaker 06

  Definitely not an issue at all. He's very sweet to people. Not very small children, edit, he's, he gets overwhelmed by kids, right? He hasn't tried killing them.

• 33:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:44Speaker 06

  But he seems to react to other cats the same way he would to a squirrel or to a rabbit. As in, just pure predation. No recognition that they are in the same species, he does not display any territorial aggression. To other cats, none of its dominance behavior, ears don't go back, fur never puffs out, he never growls or hisses. Nothing. He's just hunting. Never seen anything like it. The shelter was hesitant to adopt him, out of all of this, due to his history, but they did so because one of the other shelter workers personally knew my stepmother and was interested in weird cats.

• 34:17Speaker 04

  Is your cat weird?

• 34:18Speaker 06

  Fine, thank God.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  Hey, let me see your weird, let me see your judges.

• 34:21Speaker 06

  He's got a weird, he's got backwards head.

• 34:23Speaker 04

  Hey lady, you got a weird pussy?

• 34:24Speaker 06

  Yeah, you got weird pussy.

• 34:25Speaker 04

  I'm talking about cats, but I like to use that word to freak you out.

• 34:27Speaker 06

  Yeah, I do that just to kind of make people uncomfortable. What's your weird pussy at? Oh, I got nine. They were considering euthanasia, euthanasia because he was returned multiple times. They want, but we still wanted to give them a chance due to just how friendly two people he was and smart he is. Sure. He's well fed, he's always been well fed, killing and eating other cats, which belonged to a previous owner was not something he did out of desperation. Judging by what I know about the event and what behavior I've seen, I'm entirely sure it was predation. He's injured a cat my parents were pet set into the point of needing an emergency vet visit and extensive reconstruction of its neck. The cats were separated, but a child left the door open for a minute. My cat ran downstairs, caught the smaller cat, went for the throat, immobilized and

• 35:12Speaker 06

  attempted to drag him underneath the furniture. They were separated before he could kill the cat. My parents have had him since 2023 and I recently, September 2025, took him when I moved somewhere that allows cats. I'm set on keeping him.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Cool.

• 35:26Speaker 06

  Very important note, he's no longer around other cats.

• 35:29Speaker 04

  Great.

• 35:29Speaker 06

  Period. Done. Edit one, more details. He did eat a cat owned by one of the previous people who adopted him.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  I don't think we mentioned this, actually, it's a cannibal cat.

• 35:39Speaker 06

  Yep. In addition to two previous surrenders for similar behavioral issues, which I don't know much about. From what I know, he's had a good introduction to a smaller female cat with no territorial behavior, was left alone for a day. When the owner came back, it was a giant bloody mess. The shelter were sure that he did kill the female cat and was eating the body. That's the reason why they were considering euthanasia until he was offered to my stepmother. Further clarification, he does not hate cats. He likes them, just like how he likes birds.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  I mean, you really can't tell.

• 36:12Speaker 06

  It's just like, did Jeffrey Dahmer like guys? Yeah. Predation and Yeah, well, a lot. Too much. Predation and terrible, terrible behavior are not different things. If you can't tell the difference, you shouldn't be giving input on this post. He is not stressed by other cats. He is not anxious and does not feel threatened by other cats. He doesn't need anxiety medication. Anxiety medication doesn't stop cats from having a prey drive. He does not hiss or growl or try to look intimidating. He has no other behavioral problems. He doesn't yowl or anything when he attacks. He finds cover, stalks, ears up, eyes big, completely silent. He gets very curious and excited when he sees other cats. He's seen my friend's cat, separated by a ceiling height gate and supervised by two people.

• 36:57Speaker 06

  He seemed extremely inquisitive, sniffing, ears forward, no sound. My cat did not respond whatsoever to my friend's cats hissing, growling or puffing up. He just seemed curious and started trying to see if he could stick his head around the side of the gate and pawing through the bars. Then he started looking back at me and meowing and rubbing on my legs. No, edit number three, no. He is not going to be euthanized. I did not make this post asking for advice. I made it asking for information about why he's fucked up. Stop telling me to put him down. Stop applying human morals to animals. He behaves like any other small predatory mammal, only he does not have the ability to recognize a member of his own species. I've already had him by myself since September of last year. And before that, I was around him at my parents' house since 2023. Okay, he's literally fine by himself.

• 37:41Speaker 06

  He's my cat and I love him. All right, he's perfectly healthy and affectionate. I'm the smartest cat I've ever owned. And a hundred plus people telling me to kill my pet, it bothers me. The way it bothered you, seriously, fuck off. Just let me fuck off. It is an open forum. Edit four, change the format so the events were in chronological order and clarify some vague tenses. But anyway, I will not. You're not the sky. I don't care what you say.

• 38:11Speaker 04

  It is a cute cat.

• 38:12Speaker 06

  Sorry, that's my Reddit lady voice.

• 38:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, that's great. Uh, go to the bottom of this and click on the next one there. Uh, the, there you go. That read the follow-up post. Up, up, up. Yeah, there you go. Click on that. Here we go. There's the cat.

• 38:25Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah. The cat's really cute.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  Cat's really cute.

• 38:28Speaker 06

  Cat's really cute. I thought Jeffrey Dahmer was a really, to be honest, a really attractive teenager.

• 38:32Speaker 04

  Did you read the follow-up by any chance?

• 38:34Speaker 06

  No, I did not read the follow-up.

• 38:35Speaker 04

  Do you want to try and guess what the cat's name is? Name it.

• 38:39Speaker 06

  Casey Anthony.

• 38:40Speaker 04

  Baby Jesus.

• 38:41Speaker 06

  That is the funniest fucking what?

• 38:45Speaker 06

  The cat's name is Baby Jesus?

• 38:47Speaker 04

  The cat's name is Baby Jesus.

• 38:49Speaker 06

  I.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  And it's a cannibal.

• 38:51Speaker 06

  This is just unbelievable.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  And Jesus feeds himself to the Catholics.

• 38:56Speaker 06

  Oh, every day. Catholics are cannibals.

• 38:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, they are cannibals. Yeah, so.

• 39:00Speaker 06

  Can I ask Eddie, you know, we were talking about this right before the show. I unfortunately believe, I'm gonna say this nicely. I love you all. I feel that the cat

• 39:12Speaker 06

  is unsavable. And if the cat.

• 39:14Speaker 04

  I don't think it needs saving.

• 39:15Speaker 06

  It's killing other animals.

• 39:19Speaker 06

  But I do get it. It's.

• 39:20Speaker 04

  If it's living alone with this man, then you don't have to worry about it.

• 39:26Speaker 04

  Lots of cats kill other animals. Tigers, lions. It's probably reincarnated.

• 39:30Speaker 06

  You know, I guess, you know, in the end, if this is what this person wants to do, I just find it interesting that they really spend such a long time defending the cat. When you show, it's like, it's obviously.

• 39:41Speaker 04

  I mean, I don't know what he was expecting people to say.

• 39:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 39:45Speaker 04

  I don't know how you could make this post and say, my cat's a cannibal, and then people tell you to kill it, and then, you know, like, what the fuck? This, or this is a handsome kitty. Uh, this is from a.

• 39:55Speaker 06

  It's from one of the Reddit comment, yeah.

• 39:56Speaker 04

  There's a handsome kitty. Glad to see that you're giving them the best life. Um, Eldridge Pussy Magnets.

• 40:05Speaker 04

  That is the man's name. Eldridge Pussy Magnets loves this cat.

• 40:11Speaker 04

  Saying magnets maggots.

• 40:13Speaker 06

  All right, okay.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, he takes him out on a harness and a leash, which I think is irresponsible. I'll leave the cat if you're gonna keep it, needs to stay in the house.

• 40:23Speaker 06

  My parents, all right, so this is in the update. My parents also kept him with a very large mancoon. And he didn't seem to understand any larger cats attempt to communicate. Baby Jesus would ignore the hissing, growling. Got his ass handed to him when you sat there and he didn't back off. And it says here, it would try to eat a chihuahua.

• 40:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:41Speaker 06

  That's what it's saying.

• 40:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:44Speaker 06

  It would try to eat a fucking chihuahua.

• 40:45Speaker 04

  I'd say anything its size or smaller.

• 40:48Speaker 06

  He does play rough. That's what he says. Yeah, he plays rough. It's a fucking murderer. It's a murderer.

• 40:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:54Speaker 06

  It's a fucking murderer.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  And we all know dogs play rough.

• 40:58Speaker 06

  Well, even when they, you know, when you, when you, when you're speaking their language.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  Um, he doesn't like string toys. He just looks at his hand.

• 41:06Speaker 06

  It's just the way they brought up all of this without anybody saying anything about the cat killing and eating other cats. And then everyone, they just be like, I can't believe that you guys would have an opinion on this thing. I'll post it out for an opinion. I made an opinion post asking for opinions. And then you gave me all your opinions and you're fucking wrong.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  I love his answer.

• 41:30Speaker 06

  My tits are caught in my belt.

• 41:33Speaker 06

  My tits are caught in my belt. I got stuck in the, I got to the OBGYN, kicked me out today because I had, they found a snake in there.

• 41:43Speaker 04

  Apparently, um, there is like they found the cat had killed other cats before.

• 41:50Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  It's killed multiple cats.

• 41:52Speaker 06

  Yes. And yes, it's like, oh, it's not around other cats. Is that what we do with a psychopath murderer?

• 41:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, like you take them away from society and you lock them up and you put them away.

• 42:02Speaker 06

  But yeah, but then he's not, he doesn't get to stay away. Like he doesn't get treats and stuff like when a prisoner, when a cat gets put in prison.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  Elaine Maxwell gets treats.

• 42:11Speaker 06

  She, she has a great time.

• 42:13Speaker 04

  She does.

• 42:14Speaker 06

  Anytime someone talks about her, they get in trouble. They get, they get moved.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  Wow, yeah.

• 42:19Speaker 06

  We need a mental facility for pets. Yeah, I've been thinking about this. I'm actually gonna start one. I'm gonna start mine. Zach Baggins. Zach Baggins should buy this cat and have it go around the fucking museum. Have it kill other cats. Yes. That's a great idea. They should put him up for that. Do you hear that? You hear that, eldritch pussy maggots? Sell your cat to Zach Baggins. Well, this kind of dovetail. Sell your... Honestly, there was big money.

• 42:51Speaker 00

  Between birds and nap times, it's hard to compete for your cat's attention. But Temptations cat treats will have them meowing for affection. Even the most fickle felines find Temptations Crunchy Cat Treats irresistible. Crunchy outside, soft inside, and under two calories per treat. For a fun, perfectly creamy treat, try Temptations Lickable Puree. Looking for a way to make bonding with your feline friend even better? Try America's number one cat treat brand, Temptations Cat Treats. Cats can't resist.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. The message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. Still waiting in line? Again? That's time you'll never get back. Save time and money with stamps.com. Over 4 million businesses have skipped the line with stamps.com. Join them to save up to 90% off carrier rates from your computer or phone right now. Print postage for certified mail, registered mail, and packages in seconds. Then schedule a pickup right from your home or office. For a limited time, go to stamps.com and use code PODCAST for a free welcome gift. Taxes and fees apply.

• 44:24Speaker 06

  Maybe we could figure out what's wrong if we use this like, so in China, they've been doing this AI, like weird animal translator thing that people are like falling in love with, saying that it can recognize what a dog's saying and it's gonna put all these things out. My problem is that as soon as I saw the words AI, I'm like, oh, that's fucking stupid, but.

• 44:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:41Speaker 06

  Because this is the thing, I'll, can I also say?

• 44:42Speaker 04

  But everyone does wanna talk to their pets.

• 44:45Speaker 06

  We all do. We all wanna know. You don't really wanna know what they're saying. I want, I actually was like, I read a very interesting article this weekend about dogs and you see this thing with the, the, the, the communication pads? With the buttons that they can say words?

• 45:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, bitch, fuck you bitch.

• 45:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's always bitch, bitch, kill the president, kill the president, kill the president. It's like, why, where'd you learn that? And I, um, but this, the thing about AI.

• 45:09Speaker 04

  The dog said that.

• 45:10Speaker 06

  The dog, yeah, obviously. But this AI, like, I feel like it's saying it's using this, AI is now a buzzword. They're throwing AI on things. They tried to sell me at the store the other day, my dryer broke. I was like, I just want a dryer. I want one of those dryers my mother has where you just replace the one part, she's had the same dryer for fucking 35 years. He says it doesn't exist anymore. You could get this other dryer. It's like, what is it? He's like, the thing is, you're gonna wanna buy this dryer, you're gonna have to buy the washing machine with it. I'm like, what are you fucking talking about? He's like, it's got AI in it and the AI talks to the washer. And they talk back and forth.

• 45:44Speaker 04

  AI, I hate, I want it to die and it's destroying the planet. These data centers need to be closed down. But AI, if it's gonna do anything, it should be doing our laundry.

• 45:52Speaker 06

  But you're talking about, no, no, no, it's just, but it's just a buzzword first. You mean software. It's just software. It is not a little, your, your washer's not thinking. It's not sitting going, mm, I hope that these panties aren't full enough. These panties are all full of blood. I guess you must be the lady's top. Like, that's not what it's thinking. It's not thinking anything. They're just connected together. It's stupid. AI is a buzzword that means fucking nothing. But with this term, like, this idea of using dog translation app, is that with dogs and animals, they.

• 46:27Speaker 06

  More so develop tailor-made to you.

• 46:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:30Speaker 06

  So they were talking with dogs on the, on the, the talk pads. They would learn a couple of things and they say that they could talk, they could teach a dog up to like forty or fifty words.

• 46:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you choose the word.

• 46:41Speaker 06

  Yes, and you can, and they say that sometimes dogs can really put together in a string, certain words and they figured out certain things. Oh, yeah, yeah, the AI thing just saying, "Mom, I love you."

• 46:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 46:53Speaker 06

  Yeah, of course, everyone's gonna love it if it just says, "Mom, I love you."

• 46:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it didn't say that.

• 46:58Speaker 06

  No.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  It's Chinese.

• 46:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's saying, "I wanna kill the cat next door." It's saying, "I wanna kill Odie. I wanna kill the, I wanna kill your son. I wanna kill the children."

• 47:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:07Speaker 06

  But the, if you listen to the dog people that are training the dogs, they find that the dog really understands things, obviously around food, treats.

• 47:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:15Speaker 06

  But the word "now," like dogs love the word "now," and then if you can figure out.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  They're very impatient.

• 47:21Speaker 06

  You put the word "later" in and it's just this funny thing. People talk about ending in this like long like argument with the dog where they're just going like, "Treat, treat," and you go like, "No, later," and it goes, "Now," and it's like, "Later, now, later, now."

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:34Speaker 06

  It's kinda funny, but it's, it's only communicating because it's learning you.

• 47:41Speaker 04

  I don't think it understands the concept of "later." I think it understands the concept. I think they think "later" is "no."

• 47:46Speaker 06

  Well, that is, it is. It's just in our mind, they, we were, we believe we're creating really nuanced conversation with the animal when we're really just sort of gamifying its already, its, its natural ability to completely understand all of your verbal cues and physical cues. It's watching everything, it's watching every move that you make.

• 48:07Speaker 04

  You wanna see an example of a negotiation with a cat?

• 48:10Speaker 06

  Sure.

• 48:20Speaker 06

  It's saying Pippi doesn't want you near here because Pippi's trying to eat.

• 48:26Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 48:26Speaker 06

  But that's, I mean, that's interesting.

• 48:28Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, I don't care.

• 48:30Speaker 06

  I don't think it's real. I don't think it's, I don't think the AI part of it is real.

• 48:33Speaker 04

  No, Julie wants to go to a pet psychic.

• 48:36Speaker 06

  Can I, give me the money. I'll do it.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  No.

• 48:39Speaker 06

  Let me do it. If she's gonna pay money to talk to a pet psychic, I'll do it.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  You, but you gotta dress like a psychic.

• 48:46Speaker 06

  Oh yeah, I'll do blackface and everything.

• 48:49Speaker 06

  She'll have no idea. She'll have no idea it's me.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  I need lots of necklaces.

• 48:52Speaker 06

  Oh yes.

• 48:53Speaker 04

  Some finger tambores.

• 48:54Speaker 06

  Oh yeah, I'm coming in a full thing. Oh yeah, she won't have any idea. You were like, here we go. I mean, I, here's, it's mistress Wanda.

• 49:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's like, we should go, we should see what Tootsie's thinking. I'm like, baby, I really don't wanna go.

• 49:06Speaker 06

  No, Tootsie's thinking, let me die. Let me die.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  Oh man, Tootsie, I was, I thought it was the end and then she's like, she popped back up again and she's just walking around, eating a bunch of cookies and shit, having a great time.

• 49:21Speaker 06

  Unbelievable.

• 49:22Speaker 04

  Once, once I started getting carbs down her, she fucking turned a new leaf.

• 49:25Speaker 06

  Tell me about it.

• 49:26Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh my gosh, she fell down the ramp though. And she tumbled like real slow. It was very, it was actually the cutest fall that was very dangerous that I've ever seen.

• 49:35Speaker 06

  She has no idea she's alive. She has no idea she's alive. But I love her, but you know what dog does know? This dog in Nebraska that shot a woman with a shotgun.

• 49:43Speaker 04

  What happened?

• 49:44Speaker 06

  When police in Nebraska were responsible, oh, you didn't read this one yet?

• 49:48Speaker 04

  No.

• 49:48Speaker 06

  They responded to a shooting, they arrived at the scene to find unusual culprit.

• 49:51Speaker 04

  A dog.

• 49:54Speaker 06

  The incident took place in the Scottsbluff town of Nebraska. This is according to the Mirror. Um, shots were fired in a parking lot of a local convenience store. Police arrived at the scene, they found a truck with its doors damaged and a woman who had been struck on the arm by a shotgun pellet.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 50:08Speaker 06

  Investigation in the matter. Showed that the woman had a loaded shotgun in the backseat of the car, which was inadvertently fired by her dog as it moved around in the seats. The shot ended up damaging the car and even struck a female passerby. It doesn't really know, how does that happen?

• 50:21Speaker 04

  Cause they had the shotgun sitting on the fucking chair and the dog jumped on it and it went off.

• 50:27Speaker 06

  How does it pull the trigger with its paw?

• 50:29Speaker 04

  It depends on how big the paw is, you know, it gets in there and it gets stuck and it freaks out because its foot is stuck in the goddamn trigger.

• 50:37Speaker 06

  You don't arrest the dog though, right?

• 50:39Speaker 04

  No, you arrest the owner. You take their guns away, hopefully.

• 50:43Speaker 06

  Nah, that can't be. There's no way they're taking the guns away. I feel like in the end.

• 50:48Speaker 04

  I love the article, just shows the dog's paw.

• 50:54Speaker 06

  Just to be like, and this, this is the hands of a murderer. The hands of a terrorist.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  This guy, I mean, this guy should be, talk about someone that should be put down.

• 51:05Speaker 06

  It's a lady.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  Dog's owner.

• 51:06Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's a lady.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  She's just driving around with a shotgun, loosening her backseat?

• 51:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, with the dog. Well, that's a dog shotgun.

• 51:11Speaker 04

  You at least. Yes, I didn't realize.

• 51:14Speaker 06

  How else is it gonna go duck hunting?

• 51:16Speaker 04

  I can't, I mean, you know, you don't want it to become a murderer.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  You know, that's one of the worst things it could be.

• 51:23Speaker 06

  Is that why they call it riding shotgun? Oh, it was in the backseat. Yeah, why do they call it riding shotgun?

• 51:29Speaker 04

  So you can get up there and shoot out the window.

• 51:31Speaker 06

  Hopefully.

• 51:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think so. I think that's the whole thing.

• 51:33Speaker 06

  Here, you gotta show, you, give us a story, Eddie.

• 51:35Speaker 04

  All right, here's, this one I'm loving and it's been developing over a couple of weeks. And I kinda had it in my pocket and didn't bring it up yet, but this one I fucking love. All right, so Mount Everest, stupid to climb, all right?

• 51:48Speaker 06

  Well, now it's definitely like you can just pay money to climb.

• 51:51Speaker 04

  There's a line, but you have to like stand in line when you go to Mount Everest and slowly walk up behind a bunch of people and shit.

• 51:59Speaker 06

  Because there's a small weather window in which you can get to the very peak of it, right? And there's a certain season you have to go in. And now there's so many people doing it that they have now created this like log jam at the fucking top that just sits there.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, which is insane to me. Uh, also, there's other mountains. And Mount Everest isn't the only mountain. You can go to other mountains.

• 52:20Speaker 06

  There's other mountains.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  There's totally other mountains.

• 52:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, well, what about, no one does titty cocka no more.

• 52:24Speaker 04

  No one does titty cocka no more. Well, I think that's a link. Um, but, um, Nepalese authorities have charged thirty-two Sherpas. And in the alleged fake rescue and insurance fraud scream.

• 52:36Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 52:37Speaker 04

  Scheme up in Nepal, taking high altitude trekking industry, including routes associated with Everest tourism. They want, they've gotten over twenty million dollars from people.

• 52:48Speaker 06

  Well, they've learned.

• 52:49Speaker 04

  From twenty twenty-two to twenty twenty-five.

• 52:51Speaker 06

  Well, this is a thing that's so funny because the Sherpas, they lead them to places they can't get down from. And then they're like, oh, you need to be rescued. And then they call their boy who owns a helicopter. And then they come get them. They're like, do you want to come get you? Want to get got? And then they have to like fucking put down the ladder and they charge them out the fucking ass. This is how I believe, this is what I believe. This is the true Satanist part of me and sadly the capitalist part of me that says, if you want to pay big time money to go to the top of Mount Everest, and you can't properly research the team that you should take.

• 53:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:26Speaker 06

  And this happens to you, you fucking deserve it. I think that if you were, because guess what they're also doing? They're not leaving you to die. They could definitely just kill you and take all your things if they wanted to. Say it's an extended scam that I actually think is kind of funny.

• 53:43Speaker 04

  The alleged scheme has affected four thousand seven hundred and eighty-two international climbers.

• 53:50Speaker 06

  It's very stupid.

• 53:51Speaker 04

  That is a lot of fucking people.

• 53:53Speaker 06

  It's a lot of people because look at the line, that is the crew. So right now Rob is showing a video of a line of at least forty to fifty people.

• 54:00Speaker 04

  Dude, that's a hundred and fifty.

• 54:02Speaker 06

  Dude, waiting to go to the top to get their little fucking picture, right?

• 54:05Speaker 05

  It's like the rise of resistance line.

• 54:07Speaker 06

  Dude.

• 54:08Speaker 05

  Except it's on Everest.

• 54:09Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah. And they wait like this so they can all get their little picture. And then sometimes the problem is, is that while they're standing and waiting, the weather can change so rapidly that they all have to run for emergency cover.

• 54:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 06

  This is, it's just getting out of control. It's getting, the idea of this as a money-making scheme and a, and a clout chasing exercise is kind of getting out of control.

• 54:32Speaker 04

  There's so many mountains for you to go to. You don't need to go to Everest. But also, here's the other developing part of the story. The Sherpas they're finding were poisoning people. They were like poisoning their food that they were making and putting like they were putting a bunch of baking soda in it and it was making them like feel like they had food poisoning and stuff like that and getting or like because it mimics altitude sickness.

• 54:54Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 54:54Speaker 04

  And so they thought that they were getting altitude sickness when they were up there, but they weren't and they were just like they just had a bunch of baking soda in their bellies and then they would have to get rescued. And here's the other thing they were doing. I think this is actually how they got caught was they would do a helicopter rescue and like, you know, your dad gets sick and he needs to be rescued. You're sticking around with him, right?

• 55:14Speaker 06

  Of course.

• 55:14Speaker 04

  And then you have the whole family with you. So the whole family needs to get in the helicopter.

• 55:17Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah. And that's and that's money for fuel.

• 55:19Speaker 04

  But what they were doing was they were charging each person in the helicopter for chartering the helicopter.

• 55:25Speaker 06

  Of course.

• 55:25Speaker 04

  Rather than just a ride in a chartered helicopter.

• 55:28Speaker 06

  No, they fucked everybody. They get me. You buy a ticket.

• 55:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like they're really going after it. A hundred and seventy one out of one thousand two hundred and forty eight rescues. Uh, they seemed appear to be fake. And they so they've just been ripping people off, dude. And they got caught um in fraud that it came out to nineteen point six nine million is what they're expecting. But now they're getting sued by the Nepalese government uh for one point five billion in restitution.

• 55:56Speaker 06

  God damn. I mean, like, this is just one of those where if you want to go and do this thing in order to get your fucking picture.

• 56:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:05Speaker 06

  And do it's like, I don't know what to tell you. You should research.

• 56:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:09Speaker 06

  Your Sherpa company better.

• 56:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, man. Or you just Kathman, don't do it.

• 56:14Speaker 06

  Kathman can do.

• 56:17Speaker 04

  Sometimes a Kathman do. Sometimes Kathman don't. Um, all right. One more story that I really liked and uh we'll get out of here after that. Um, elder abuses. I hate when people take advantage of the elderly and steal their money. It makes me insane.

• 56:33Speaker 06

  Yeah. If you're going to do something to the elderly, make sure you you make them vote first.

• 56:38Speaker 04

  Oh, no, don't.

• 56:39Speaker 06

  Then steal.

• 56:39Speaker 04

  No.

• 56:40Speaker 06

  Keep them away.

• 56:40Speaker 04

  At gunpoint.

• 56:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 56:42Speaker 04

  So an elderly California couple, this is out in Riverside. Um, this woman, she fell for an elder, an elder scam, which is hard to do.

• 56:52Speaker 06

  I mean, well, this is the thing is.

• 56:53Speaker 04

  Zell, like I had to zell someone money this week because there was like a death and um.

• 57:00Speaker 06

  Was it Hitman fee?

• 57:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was a Hitman fee. And, uh, but the Zell made me like, promised that I knew this person like four times before they sent the money.

• 57:09Speaker 06

  Honestly, as they should.

• 57:10Speaker 04

  As they should. I was very impressed by Zell. But this lady, um, she was on Facebook and, and someone impersonating Tom Selleck kept hitting her up for money. First it was 80 bucks and it was 800 bucks.

• 57:22Speaker 06

  Can you imagine Tom Selleck asking you personally for 80 dollars?

• 57:26Speaker 04

  That dude's got so much stinking money.

• 57:28Speaker 06

  He is, and the way also, if you knew anything about his lifestyle and knew that Tom Selleck has created, he has this incredible life in which he rolls into his job and which he makes multiple million dollars. And he fucking goes into, he sits, he's like a two day a week where he just, he doesn't stand in any of the scenes. He literally sits in every scene.

• 57:50Speaker 04

  Dude, Nick Nolte in, uh, in, in 101, in Crime 101, he didn't, I, as soon as the first time I saw him, I whispered to Julie, I was like, I bet he doesn't stand the entire movie. And he didn't.

• 58:01Speaker 06

  Nope. Cause that's a part of it. He's like, I sit now. That's what I do. I fucking sit. And so Tom Selleck then going on to Instagram, which also been funny, and then also him hitting you up and then hitting you, asking you for 80 dollars does seem to be insane.

• 58:18Speaker 04

  Eighty was the first time and then it got up to 800 and then it was like a charity event. And then his like managers, like son died apparently. And so she keeps like, she falls completely victim to it. She's like, it starts to get like little sexy, the messages and stuff.

• 58:35Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah. He starts to flirt a little bit. You know how Tom Selleck likes to throw it down.

• 58:41Speaker 04

  Yeah. So her husband cuts her off completely. Not like, he doesn't kick her out of the house or anything, but like he cuts her off completely.

• 58:46Speaker 06

  Well, he finds out that she gave something like a hundred grand or something like someone insane amount of money.

• 58:50Speaker 04

  It wasn't a hundred grand, but it was a lot of money and it was obviously fake and she was obviously getting taken for a ride, but she believed it wholeheartedly. So he took away her credit cards, he took away this, took away that. And then she starts asking her friends for money. Uh, to give to Tom Selleck. And so, and her friends are like, hey, listen, just want to let you know what she's doing. So the guy, he had it up to here, murder suicide.

• 59:13Speaker 06

  Jesus fucking Christ. He did it?

• 59:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, he, the husband.

• 59:17Speaker 06

  For some reason, I thought it was the. Lady who did it.

• 59:19Speaker 04

  No, the husband murders, he was embarrassed and he was sick of losing, cause when you're so, when you're old, you have no income anymore.

• 59:26Speaker 06

  No, I know.

• 59:27Speaker 04

  You're just give, that's why elder abuse is so bad, because like, it's all the money these people are gonna have for the rest of their life.

• 59:31Speaker 06

  Oh yeah, they lost, the money's gone.

• 59:33Speaker 04

  Stealing, and they're stealing, they're stealing. So the guy like, lost his fucking mind, and then she started asking his friends, and that was the final straw, cause he was embarrassed, on top of being broke, and so he just fucking offed her and killed himself.

• 59:43Speaker 06

  Jesus fucking Christ, I had no idea it was him. Well, you know, in the end, it is super embarrassed to be cucked by fake Tom Selleck. It's very embarrassing.

• 59:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:52Speaker 06

  You know what I mean? It's not like, cause Tom Selleck, even he ain't what he used to be. I mean, obviously, my mom, my mom is still got, that, that's the one, I think, that has got the open invitation to fuck her.

• 1:00:02Speaker 04

  Tom, oh, my mom would have done anything for Tom Selleck.

• 1:00:04Speaker 06

  My mom, I think, would become a dirty, evil, fucking gross whore for Tom Selleck.

• 1:00:09Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:09Speaker 06

  You know what I mean? Like, I think that she'd become like, one of the, like, she'd become like a da, like a fucking grimy fucking street woman for Tom Selleck.

• 1:00:17Speaker 04

  Tom Selleck is a famous detective. He should solve this crime and find out who's doing this.

• 1:00:25Speaker 06

  Can we email Tom Selleck?

• 1:00:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, Tom Selleck, I feel like, if anyone could, god, look how hot he is in that picture.

• 1:00:31Speaker 06

  He was very hot.

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  God, look at that fucking cock next to those thighs.

• 1:00:35Speaker 06

  He's very bitchy.

• 1:00:36Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ, Tom Selleck, put it away.

• 1:00:39Speaker 06

  Yeah, he was a real man.

• 1:00:40Speaker 04

  Fucking hell.

• 1:00:41Speaker 06

  Man, alright?

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:00:42Speaker 06

  That's a real man.

• 1:00:43Speaker 04

  God damn.

• 1:00:45Speaker 06

  Tom Selleck, he was like, twenty-eight in that picture.

• 1:00:47Speaker 04

  I'm blown away.

• 1:00:48Speaker 06

  Yeah, I know, he's the gayest, Ed's feeling gay, he's where he loves it, he feels it. I get it. Tom Selleck would break Timmy, Timothy Chalamet's arms off.

• 1:00:57Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, that's a Magnum P.I.

• 1:01:00Speaker 06

  Magnum P.I.

• 1:01:00Speaker 04

  He's got a Magnum.

• 1:01:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, just having him having sex with Timothy Chalamet.

• 1:01:05Speaker 04

  God, I wish he would have fucked my mom.

• 1:01:07Speaker 06

  Yeah, that would have been great.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  It really would have.

• 1:01:09Speaker 06

  Would you fuck my mom, Tom Selleck?

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  Tom Selleck, are you listening to this?

• 1:01:12Speaker 06

  Are you on Facebook?

• 1:01:13Speaker 04

  How busy are you?

• 1:01:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, can you email me?

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  You were in NYPD Blue, you probably have the call sheets still.

• 1:01:18Speaker 06

  Blue Bloods.

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  Oh, Blue Bloods, that's right, Blue Bloods.

• 1:01:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, his emails, yeah, it's Tom, it's Tom, yeah, he's, yeah, Tom Selleck won a Gmail.

• 1:01:24Speaker 04

  What was that movie he was in that I loved? Mr. Baseball. I love Mr. Baseball.

• 1:01:35Speaker 06

  Do you think Tom Selleck would be happy, like, almost in a way? That he still got this much juice? He really, every time you forgot he exists, he pops right back in the news. Dude, that mustache don't quit. If you told him, just being like, "She killed him for me."

• 1:01:54Speaker 06

  Wow, those all for me, huh? That's one of the coolest things I've ever heard. Still got it. Yeah, of course. Of course he wants Tom. Everybody does, right? Everybody does. And of course, he was jealous of all hell. He was jealous even just fake me. Yeah, that's gotta be the thing. He was jealous of fake Tom Selleck. If it was real Tom Selleck, he would have bombed the neighborhood. Imagine if Tom Selleck actually was trying to fuck his wife. What was that thing? Oh, Jesse Stone, that was the character he'd played all the time. Now I'm just obsessed with his career.

• 1:02:30Speaker 06

  Three men and a baby. Yeah, no, he's a very good. He was also supposed to be fucking Indiana Jones. Yeah, he was. He would have been a good Indy. And that takes a lot for me to say. He would have been a great Indy, but no, but no. No. He's not the same. He's not the same. He was, he did, uh, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. All right, now we're just going through his hour, and it's like, we're just naming things of fucking Tom Selleck. The Daughters of Satan? Yeah, I bet you. Starring Tom Selleck. Yeah, you know, but it's probably not really that fucking big. Wow. All right, so I got a, I've got a couple of, like, here, let's do this, uh, I got a listener email. There's listener emails? Yeah, sure. You wanna hear something? Oh, yeah. Here's the old one. Are you ready, Eddie? Yes. Are you horny, Henry?

• 1:03:15Speaker 06

  Yes, sure. Now it's time for listener email. Yeah, not bad. Yeah, it's good, we've heard that one. I know, I like it. Yeah, I like it too. Yeah, it's a song, you can hear a song. More than once. You okay? No. Let's read this. Let's do this.

• 1:03:34Speaker 06

  I'm so fucking literally not. Everything's a fucking travesty. My body's dying. You gotta see Mandalorian Grogu. Oh, yeah. So I can really finally jerk off in a theater again. That's what I need to see. Honestly, yeah, cuz there's nothing I love better than a little gremlin coming in his own mouth. He needs to eat. He does. Yeah. Guy.

• 1:04:00Speaker 06

  Orbs.

• 1:04:03Speaker 06

  Back in 2012, my college roommate and I went to Halifax, Virginia to visit my parents and hang out for the weekend.

• 1:04:11Speaker 06

  My dad chain smoked in the house, so me and my buddies spent most of our time outside. We tossed the football around for a while in the backyard and really never went at all in, except to grab maybe a couple of my stepdad's buds from the fridge. Hell, yeah. Fuck, yeah. My friend Chad mentioned how remote of a place we were in and how cool it would be. This is some awful wall shit out in the country. I agreed. We focused on seeing something for a minute and laughed it off. I will say, after doing some classes in transcendental meditation for a couple of semesters by then, I felt a complete, unique and relaxed feeling as we did that, and I really did feel very connected afterwards. Anyways, one of our friends was having a shindig across the county that night, so we stopped drinking brews early, so we could be two legit 20-year-olds driving across Halifax County,

• 1:04:55Speaker 06

  not wanting to be pulled over. And this is where it starts. The campfire where we were hanging out by died. We were considering leaving. Was talking to my boy when I saw a white light illuminate his face. I turned around and there was a white orb glowing in the woods by my parents' house about 50 yards away. We looked at each other, scared out of our minds, and motioned back towards the light, and it suddenly exploded. It almost looked like a transformer exploding. We treated glances back and forth like, what the fuck was that? I don't know. It's a big orb. My orb. It's my orb. Then we heard slow, deliberate footsteps from the direction of the orb.

• 1:05:39Speaker 06

  Something tall was walking through the tree branches, and my dogs woke up and ran towards the sound. When they went, we ran to the house and climbed over a six-foot carport wall to get in. We immediately locked all the doors and closed the blinds. I went to my parents' room to grab their pistol under the mattress. Whoa. Meanwhile, my dog sounded like they were attacking something as they made their way around to the front of the house. My mom woke up, earplugs in, blinders on, and I was digging my arm under her mattress and hearing the dogs going from barking to wailing in front of the house. And as soon as she was up, the dogs were quiet. She walked to the front doors. We begged her not to, and all three of the dogs were asleep in the back of the golf cart, and we had to drive around the farm. They never did anything ever before or after. I don't know. Spiritship. Why don't you get a gun? It's an orb. Yeah, but you shoot light.

• 1:06:24Speaker 06

  But they was walking in the, in the tra- in the fucking forest. So we thought he might have to shoot something, come through the forest, or at least then he'd have a reason to finally kill something. You know what I noticed? A lot of my pictures of the Grand Canyon had orbs in them. Yeah. Yeah, look at this one. That's the sun. No, that's the sun. Oh, no, that's a reflection of the sun on your face. But there's, but it's in a lot of different ones. Yeah, I mean, it might be. It just depends on the, the camera. Do I just have a bad camera? Yes. Does everyone just have a bad camera? Maybe. It's possible. But you'll have to find out on our Patreon, patreon.com slash last podcast on the left, and you could watch our shows, listen to our shows ad free. We don't have that feature on our Patreon.

• 1:07:08Speaker 06

  Nah, go take a look at it. All right. Make sure you live every day wondering if today's the day I'm going to see something weird and watch an orb explode in front of me. And then you can laugh when it doesn't happen because it's just inside of the film of your camera, and you can love the fact that you might need to go get a new camera. That's right. Also, we're gonna be hitting the road this weekend. We're gonna be in Rochester. It's sold out. Very excited, bro. I am excited. Radio social sounds awesome. Everyone's talking about it. They're so excited to just give us food. This is like the first time the venue like keeps reaching out to like make sure that like we're happy and okay. No, I've never had that before. It's very nice. It's very, very nice. We're very excited to come to Rochester.

• 1:07:49Speaker 06

  The day before on May 29th, we're gonna be in Pittsburgh. Come and see us in Pittsburgh. There's only four JK ultras left.

• 1:07:57Speaker 04

  We got Pittsburgh this Friday, Grand Rapids on June 27th, Tulsa, Oklahoma on July 17th and Oklahoma City on July 18th. Also, you and I are going to be doing a side stories in London, Ontario on June 28th.

• 1:08:13Speaker 06

  And that's gonna be the murder capital of Canada.

• 1:08:16Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:08:17Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:08:17Speaker 04

  So what, they have like one last decade?

• 1:08:20Speaker 06

  We'll find out.

• 1:08:21Speaker 04

  Yeah. And so we're going to be going there. I'm very excited about that. And then side stories doesn't have anything on the books until crime.

• 1:08:27Speaker 06

  Oh, no. Yeah. And then we will find out. We will definitely have other shows.

• 1:08:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, definitely gonna put some stuff in there. But yeah, as of right now, but please come see my stand up. Go to all dates are going to be at editunes.com. But on June 7th, I'm going to be in Phoenix at the Desert Ridge Improv. That's gonna be a lot of fun. I'm bringing Amber and Julie to that one. And then on July 10th, Bethlehem, PA, a salute to Bethlehem. That's going to be July 7, July 12th, Newark, July 13th, NYC City Winery. That's going to be with Kirsten Michelle Sills. And then July 19th, Plano, Texas, and July 26th, the Comedy Store here in LA. My first headline at the Comedy Store.

• 1:09:08Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:09:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, you might see Henry there. And then August 1st, I'm going to be in Chicago at the Lincoln Lodge. Lots of more dates. Go to editunes.com to see me. I'm coming to a bunch of cities in October. I'm fucking booking it up. I'm very excited about this.

• 1:09:23Speaker 06

  Sounds fucking great.

• 1:09:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. Y'all fucking be good. You take care of yourselves and.

• 1:09:28Speaker 06

  Thank you to the person who sent us the Deforvid signed vinyl.

• 1:09:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, the person who sent me the Deforvid signed vinyl. Thank you.

• 1:09:35Speaker 06

  The notes right up there.

• 1:09:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, someone mailed us a vinyl of Deforvid, signed by him. Do we know if it's really signed by him?

• 1:09:43Speaker 06

  It is.

• 1:09:44Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, because we also.

• 1:09:46Speaker 06

  Thank you, Richie.

• 1:09:47Speaker 04

  Richie, thank you for giving Deforvid money for this?

• 1:09:50Speaker 06

  I think he already had it. And then he was like, I need to get this out of my house.

• 1:09:54Speaker 04

  Either way, I appreciate you, Richie.

• 1:09:56Speaker 06

  Thank you for the terrible album.

• 1:09:57Speaker 04

  This is the perfect home for that exact thing.

• 1:10:01Speaker 06

  Yep. And don't worry, it'll never be played.

• 1:10:06Speaker 06

  Goodbye, everyone. How else do we say?

• 1:10:08Speaker 04

  Hail, uh, Ryan Porter again. I miss him. Yeah. All right. Peace out, everybody.

• 1:10:16Speaker 04

  KitchenAid knows you came to win this family gift exchange with a gift that's gonna cause a stir.

• 1:10:24Speaker 04

  The KitchenAid Stand Mixer. 'Tis your season to mix it up. Gift a KitchenAid Stand Mixer. Make more than meals.