Episode 675: Breatharianism

This week, Henry leads the boys into the deadly world of Breatharianism, the completely debunked belief that humans can survive entirely on air and “universal energy.” From fast-food-loving conman Wiley Brooks to Australian guru Jasmuheen and her lethal 21-Day Process, we follow the ridiculous idea that convinced people to starve themselves in pursuit of spiritual immortality.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Speaker 00

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• 0:45Speaker 00

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• 1:02Speaker 01

  There's no place to escape to. This is the last.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  On the left.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  That's when the cannibalism started.

• 1:18Speaker 00

  Where you going?

• 1:33Speaker 00

  Hope you guys haven't had lunch. It's hot. Because I need you skinny as fuck to listen to this episode. Alright, I don't want any, I can't, this is not one of those eat and listen episodes, man. Because it defeats the whole purpose. You're fucking gunking up your pituitary glands with all your sugars. You're gunking up your spiritual channels with all of your gravy. And for that, I wish honestly, you should die and be restarted.

• 2:01Marcus Parks?

  Wait, one of those eat and listen to episodes, which episodes do we have that are specifically for eating?

• 2:08Speaker 00

  The, I guess the dolls.

• 2:10Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, right?

• 2:11Speaker 00

  The haunted dolls. I could use a couple chips during that one. Honestly, I could eat during Batavia. I could eat during certain.

• 2:18Marcus Parks?

  You kind of have to.

• 2:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:19Marcus Parks?

  Oh, the nutmeg? Yeah, I was getting ready for it.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  That one, cookies. I could have eaten during the Black Dahlia for a while, for a lot of parts of it.

• 2:27Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, for a bit. Welcome to Last Podcast on the Left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the man who's taken the helm today. It's Henry Zebrowski.

• 2:37Speaker 00

  I cracked the whip today. I'm the cracker. I'm the cracker, motherfucker.

• 2:41Marcus Parks?

  You are the cracker.

• 2:45Marcus Parks?

  And we have, of course, the honky, Ed Larson. What's up, everybody? How you doing? Just a honky.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  I love your honky voice.

• 2:54Marcus Parks?

  I'm having a great time being a honky. Every day is wonderful. And I've gotten certain successes in life just for being a honky.

• 3:00Speaker 00

  Congratulations. As we will see, so have some of the subjects of today's podcast. They have also, because I have found the ones that did get punished the least, well, were the skinny white women.

• 3:15Marcus Parks?

  Okay, oh, yeah.

• 3:16Speaker 00

  Always.

• 3:17Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, because I assumed breatharianism, like, it would naturally be fat people. Because they breathe so heavy.

• 3:23Speaker 00

  See, the problem is, is that skinny people.

• 3:26Marcus Parks?

  People listen to the show, they hear me.

• 3:27Speaker 00

  Yes. It is easier for skinny people to stay skinny.

• 3:31Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 3:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:32Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  As far as I'm concerned.

• 3:33Marcus Parks?

  And it's easier for them to breathe. It is.

• 3:36Speaker 00

  And it's essential.

• 3:37Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, it is quite easy for me to breathe. I breathe a lot. I breathe every day.

• 3:41Speaker 00

  Oh, every day.

• 3:42Marcus Parks?

  Wonderful, yeah. I can't sleep on my back.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  I've been fasting on breathing recently by just

• 3:49Speaker 00

  and just hoping I keep going.

• 3:51Marcus Parks?

  You don't want to be greedy.

• 3:52Speaker 00

  Obviously, I'm not spiritually pure enough to get it going. So today's episode is about a topic that I've always been very fascinated by. And I can't, I found out some very interesting things. Follow along with me. Extremely stupid, yet deadly topic. It is in. That's right. You heard it directly from the portly horse's mouth. The Epicurean arts, once one of the pillars of human creative expression, are now designated back to the world of the slovenly, the perverted, the morally weak, and the homosexual. Hey.

• 4:32Marcus Parks?

  Yep. Oh, he said Epicurean had to do with horses.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  No, no, it's only eating them. The extreme weight loss of Lizzo and John Popper to Jonah Hill to Ariana Grande and Kelly Osbourne, all the way to the Vice President himself, who lost 20 pounds so he could fuck a hammock without it collapsing into the mud, makes it clear, the body positive movement has finally succumbed to heart disease in 2026.

• 4:57Marcus Parks?

  R.I.P.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  Wow. And it did not last long, did it?

• 5:00Marcus Parks?

  No.

• 5:00Speaker 00

  I was thinking, I want to say in 18 months, it lasted. But do any of these pussies I just mentioned have the strength to give up food altogether? Only time will tell.

• 5:11Marcus Parks?

  Ariana Grande was already skinny.

• 5:13Speaker 00

  She then got extra skinnier.

• 5:15Marcus Parks?

  I know, but that could have only been like 10 pounds.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  She looks like she's been, she's been saved, being saved for a long trip in the Old West.

• 5:23Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 00

  Many cult leaders, they've led their flock into dangerous, uncharacteristic behavior before, whether it's to fight their local governments, molesting all the women and children they see, or mass suicide.

• 5:37Marcus Parks?

  Is that suicide in a church?

• 5:39Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  It's a particularly pernicious ability, though, to convince a person to, that actively starving yourself of food and water is making you healthier. Especially as you watch yourself waste away hour by hour, day by day, until you finally die a horrific death of your organs turning into fruit leather. In Etia, or the more commonly known term, breatharianism, is the believed ability to live entirely without food or water. The concept is so debunked, I have no idea how it continues to exist, but it does.

• 6:14Marcus Parks?

  You know, what's crazy is, I thought, for the longest time, I thought breatharianism was a trans metropolitan joke. Because they show up and when Spider Jerusalem goes to the Religion Convention, there is a couple of panels where it shows like a breatharian. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's so stupid. Like, wow, that's a really stupid religion. I had no idea it was real.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  And it's big. And it continues to grow, weirdly enough. Like, there's guys offshoots, it's just every single person has sort of jumped off the platform from the last one.

• 6:44Marcus Parks?

  As far as cults go, on first glance, it seems like the cheapest.

• 6:49Speaker 00

  It is. You're correct. You're right. Because all you got to do is buy that little book.

• 6:54Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 6:55Speaker 00

  See, there have been at least five deaths that can be traced directly back to the malicious yammerings of some woman named Ellen. And like many of the kooky ideas that find themselves covered here at Last Podcast on the Left, the term breatharianism has an innocent beginning. The term itself was coined by comedian and human rights activist Dick Gregory. In his book, Dick Gregory's Natural Diet for Folks Who Eat: Cooking with Mother Nature, where breatharianism is used as a pretty good punchline. The book is considered a, it's a classic in the world of new age thinking and practitioners of a raw food diet. People with amazing skin who smell like turtle farts.

• 7:36Marcus Parks?

  Wow, Dick Gregory, huh?

• 7:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, right?

• 7:37Marcus Parks?

  Wow.

• 7:38Speaker 00

  In his book, Gregory says shitty food is another symptom of the systemic injustice of the United States. Poor people are given bad food to keep them malnourished, keeping them too weak to question their station in life. And if they can't stop the food access, they stop education on the subject altogether and leave people to be manipulated by the corporations.

• 7:58Marcus Parks?

  True. Absolutely true. Speak it, speak it, speak it. Food deserts.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  Yes. Gregory believed part of the responsibility of being a human is to be cognizant of what goes in your body. He advocated for eating as close to a raw diet as possible. In his book, he provided a description of a spectrum of lifestyles. Omnivorism on one side, meaning you'll eat damn near anything. And on the other end, breatharianism, which basically means being so uptight about what you're eating, you only suck on breath. Funny shit, but only the deeply stupid, or deluded, or maybe even evil would believe that that was a real concept.

• 8:34Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 8:35Speaker 00

  Yeah?

• 8:36Marcus Parks?

  So where did he stand on food? Did he like it? Did he hate it?

• 8:38Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, of course.

• 8:39Marcus Parks?

  Just raw food.

• 8:40Speaker 00

  It was, well, he believed the idea is that you should eat as many, what they call whole foods, as you can. Like, eat like, when you can, instead of like, eating the, having a juice, eat the fruit. Instead of having like, cooked, like, instead of like, eating cooked meat, try to have raw vegetables to your full, and then have a little bit of meat.

• 8:59Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. My two healthiest friends, Carrie and Nicole, they're all nuts. Like, and I mean, a little crazy, but they eat, they only eat nuts. They always got nuts in their pockets?

• 9:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:09Marcus Parks?

  And like, yeah, they're just squirrels.

• 9:10Speaker 00

  That's a skinny, that's a skinny person's way of getting fat.

• 9:14Marcus Parks?

  But they are fucking healthy, hot, both of them.

• 9:17Speaker 00

  Good, but those are people who count their nuts.

• 9:19Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, they do.

• 9:20Speaker 00

  But that's the thing. Normal people like us, I don't count nuts. I just eat nuts. Those people know exactly the number of nuts.

• 9:27Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  That they're eating.

• 9:28Marcus Parks?

  They are a little crazy, but they're definitely, no question about it, the most healthy people in my life, they're gonna live to 200.

• 9:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're counting nuts.

• 9:34Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:35Speaker 00

  They got a new couch because they're like, the fabric is plastic in it. I was like, alright, come on, get away from me.

• 9:42Marcus Parks?

  I get it, I get it.

• 9:43Speaker 00

  But yeah, but the sun itself is gonna kill us.

• 9:46Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 9:46Speaker 00

  California.

• 9:47Marcus Parks?

  The daughter, too.

• 9:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 00

  With, honestly, I hope more girls do violence in 2027.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  California con man Wiley Brooks would be the first to take Breatharianism seriously, at least into a TV camera. He's got the look of a guy who'd go down on your grandmother while she's in a coma.

• 10:08Marcus Parks?

  Might be nice.

• 10:09Speaker 00

  Who knows? You know, they don't go to sleep.

• 10:13Marcus Parks?

  You gotta wake her up.

• 10:14Speaker 00

  They stay awake. Wiley Brooks was determined to make himself famous. His fake biography begins in New York City where he was born. Little is known about his early childhood, but he claimed he was the sound engineer for Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin by his late teens.

• 10:31Speaker 04

  Uh, but that was the same sort of claim that was made by the Montauk Project guy.

• 10:35Speaker 00

  Every time. They just, they're like, nobody cares about the sound guy.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  I'm best friends with Mark Hamill.

• 10:39Speaker 00

  They all know me. Shockingly, the Daily Mail that reported the story also came clean saying, there is no evidence that proves that this man ever set foot in a sound studio. Wiley has stated his past lives include Adam, Zeus, Enoch, Yeshua, that's the Jew, super Jewish Jesus, Joshua, Elijah, John the Baptist, Saint Francis of Assisi, Cuthumi, Balthazar, who was the king of Syria, Mughal, Emperor Shah Jahan, builder of the Taj Mahal in Agra, India, Joseph Smith, and William of Holland.

• 11:12Speaker 04

  That was his previous life before his current one was the guy who brought water to Los Angeles?

• 11:16Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 11:16Marcus Parks?

  Wow. Also, I will say, only two of those guys got last names.

• 11:22Speaker 00

  That's how you know they are lying to you.

• 11:26Speaker 04

  So he claims that he is the first man in history.

• 11:31Marcus Parks?

  No, all of them. All of us are the first man, if you believe in the Bible correctly.

• 11:36Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 11:36Marcus Parks?

  You know, we all are related to Adam. He's not saying anything really there.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're all cousins.

• 11:41Speaker 04

  But he's saying he's been reincarnated, so he has the same soul as Adam.

• 11:45Marcus Parks?

  No one's ever reincarnated as the Ice Cream Man.

• 11:48Speaker 00

  We've been talking about this. It's never, it's never like, yeah, I guess it was some guy named Mort Bumbleton.

• 11:56Marcus Parks?

  Someone's gotta pick up the garbage.

• 11:57Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 11:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, somebody does, yes. There, where are all the Chinese peasants? They're not around.

• 12:02Speaker 00

  There's so many of them. I was definitely five of them.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:06Speaker 00

  In a group. America discovered Wiley in 1980. When my man deadlifted 1,100 pounds on an ABC show called That's Incredible. It was during this appearance that he first publicly claimed that he hadn't eaten a thing for 17 years. Wiley Brooks looked the part. He was slick, he had a tight muscular body, he was 45 years old and he could lift over a thousand pounds. He claimed he might have maybe had a couple of glasses of water here and there, maybe some juice. He only needed an hour of sleep. And not only that, he claimed that he could help you get the same results.

• 12:44Speaker 04

  Take my money, how?

• 12:45Speaker 00

  I'll show you how. You just don't eat anything.

• 12:48Marcus Parks?

  Hold on, you're saying no nuts?

• 12:49Speaker 00

  No, not a single one.

• 12:52Speaker 04

  When do you get to have the juice, like on Christmas?

• 12:55Speaker 00

  There's a whole process. Slowly.

• 12:58Marcus Parks?

  Spring, I imagine.

• 12:59Speaker 00

  I actually, it'd be nice during the wintertime because then you need the sugars to stay warm. Unfortunately, Wiley quickly faded out of the spotlight because who gives a shit about just some guy lying on television? But his physical feats caught the eye of floppy-headed, tiny train obsessive Tom Snyder, who booked Wiley on his late night talk show, which effectively pulled him out of obscurity and gave him a massive platform to solidify his con on a trusted news program. Uh, did you know that about Tom Snyder and his obsession with tiny trains?

• 13:28Speaker 04

  I didn't know he was a tiny train man.

• 13:30Speaker 00

  He actually quit his job hosting when they wanted to bring him back to, he was gonna replace, I think Craig Ferguson, they were gonna do, bring him all the way back. He said, no, unfortunately, I'm too busy with my little trains.

• 13:44Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, live in the dream. God, live in the dream. What age do you think he'll be only Lionel trains, Marcus? I see this happening to you.

• 13:51Speaker 04

  63.

• 13:53Speaker 00

  With his little conductor hat on.

• 13:55Marcus Parks?

  When you get the hat, we'll have a talk.

• 13:57Speaker 04

  Okay. Not gonna listen, but we can have a talk.

• 14:00Speaker 00

  Of course not.

• 14:01Speaker 04

  Cause it's already been decided.

• 14:05Marcus Parks?

  I am god of this little world.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  Quiet, I'm painting my post office.

• 14:10Marcus Parks?

  All right, Tom.

• 14:12Speaker 00

  Don't worry, I'm just having sex with all the staff again. Now, according to Wiley, Ed, the human body, when it's in perfect harmony with itself and nature, is a perfect Bretherian. This actually, this comes from the information he received when he was downloaded to Earth from the fifth dimension. I'm just telling you what I was told.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  Hmm, the fifth dimension?

• 14:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's a lot of fifth dimension talk from Wiley Brooks.

• 14:36Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, well, maybe he dimension it anymore.

• 14:40Speaker 00

  Well, he's dead, yet he doesn't. You're right.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  Isn't there a band called The Fifth Dimension?

• 14:43Marcus Parks?

  Oh, yeah, I think they do it in Aquarius, I believe.

• 14:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, and there's also a John Peel book called The Fifth Dimension.

• 14:49Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 14:49Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 14:50Speaker 00

  Brooks argued that.

• 14:51Marcus Parks?

  All the constituents that we need are taken from the air we breathe. And the fact that there is only one thing that keeps the human body alive, and that is breathing. In other words, eating is an acquired habit.

• 15:07Speaker 04

  And it's hard to shake.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  And it makes you go bald. Yep, that's my problem. Wiley invented this new food-free lifestyle as a way to turn back his biological clock and grow back the lustrous mane of his youth. He didn't understand why we got worse as we got older. We should only get better, wiser, sexier.

• 15:26Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 15:27Marcus Parks?

  I kind of agree.

• 15:28Speaker 04

  So he has no understanding of like cellular biology or anything of that nature.

• 15:31Speaker 00

  Wiley knows nothing for sure.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  He did not go to school. Every single thing is Wiley shooting from the hip.

• 15:40Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, his science is off of vibes.

• 15:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, very much so. This is all vibes and the vibes aren't yellow. Now, when Tom asks him, what about the babies, Wiley? Why do they need breast milk? Turns out if the mother is a Bretherian and doesn't need for two, the child is born without the need for food from the get, because it would be dead.

• 16:02Speaker 04

  The dead babies don't need to be fed.

• 16:04Speaker 00

  They don't need to be fed, you're right. Intrepid journalist Tom Snyder, he didn't stop there. In reference to the troubles of Ireland and timely reports of IRA soldiers dying during hunger protests in jail, Tom asked the super appropriate question. What's the difference between Breatharianism and extreme political hunger strikes? And it's simple as heck.

• 16:24Speaker 04

  I bet.

• 16:24Speaker 00

  According to Wiley.

• 16:25Marcus Parks?

  There's a big difference in a man stopping to eat who's trying to kill himself and a person who's not eating because he's trying to improve his health.

• 16:37Speaker 04

  So.

• 16:37Speaker 00

  The health.

• 16:38Speaker 04

  So people who die during hunger strikes, they're not breathing right?

• 16:41Marcus Parks?

  It's their choice.

• 16:43Speaker 00

  It's cause they wanna die.

• 16:45Speaker 04

  Oh, it's, oh, it's about intention.

• 16:46Marcus Parks?

  Sad, sad Irish. Have you ever talked to an Irishman? Very sad, very emotional, the hungry is on hell, right? They need to, and that's, they gotta get past the first layer of being irritated.

• 17:00Speaker 04

  And, okay, that does explain the potato famine.

• 17:03Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, it was voluntary.

• 17:05Marcus Parks?

  This is roaming the ocean, we said. We hate eating, we said.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  Now, all of this is great publicity for the movement.

• 17:14Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 17:14Speaker 00

  Cause despite how deeply idiotic and harmful Breatharianism obviously is, after this appearance, he amassed a solid group of followers. He created the Breatharianism Institute, and at 500 bucks a head, he began teaching classes on how not to eat.

• 17:30Speaker 04

  That's $500 in 1980 money.

• 17:32Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. First of all, he said, you can't quit food cold turkey. You have to start fasting for periods at a time, right? Second step is to clean your blood by eating foods with what Wiley called.

• 17:45Marcus Parks?

  Yellow vibrational energy.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. This encompassed everything from grapefruit, papayas, and chicken to Haagen-Dazs rum raisin ice cream.

• 17:55Marcus Parks?

  As long as it's yellow.

• 17:57Speaker 04

  Huh, is rum raisin ice cream yellow?

• 18:01Marcus Parks?

  You know, I don't eat it that often.

• 18:02Speaker 00

  I very rarely use it as like a swatch.

• 18:05Speaker 04

  Chicken's not yellow.

• 18:06Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  So it's just yellow vibrational energy, so it's anything that he decides has yellow vibrational energy.

• 18:12Speaker 00

  Chicken asada. Chicken skin has yellow.

• 18:15Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 18:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:16Speaker 00

  That has yellow.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, but grapefruit's not yellow.

• 18:18Speaker 00

  Well, you know.

• 18:19Marcus Parks?

  The outside is.

• 18:20Speaker 00

  That's kinda like an orangey yellow. Let's say Wiley was just shooting from the hip again here.

• 18:25Marcus Parks?

  Rum raisin looking pretty yellow.

• 18:27Speaker 00

  It's kinda yellow.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  It's more beige.

• 18:29Marcus Parks?

  I would've went with butterscotch.

• 18:31Speaker 00

  You know what's yellow? Bananas.

• 18:33Marcus Parks?

  Bananas are yellow.

• 18:34Speaker 00

  Could've said that, but he didn't.

• 18:36Marcus Parks?

  Unless you open them inside.

• 18:37Speaker 00

  I also.

• 18:37Marcus Parks?

  White as hell.

• 18:38Speaker 00

  I also wanna talk about the fact that they're trying to take bananas from us. They're calling them dessert. If bananas are dessert, I'm gonna fucking blow my brains out.

• 18:45Marcus Parks?

  There's a lot of sugar in them.

• 18:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, fucking, it's a fruit, fakety fruit, we're fucked.

• 18:50Marcus Parks?

  Hell, yeah. They also put the ass in potassium, you know what I'm saying?

• 18:53Speaker 00

  You should have.

• 18:54Marcus Parks?

  Big old butt.

• 18:55Speaker 00

  It's quite good for you, actually. As the years passed and Wiley grew in popularity, the techniques of Breatharianism would morph and change. Many came to believe Wiley just happened like yellow food, which is why he made it the key to health. In 1983, Wiley's side piece and co-founder of the institute, Lavelle Loeffler, exposed Wiley's lies to the press. She told the San Bernardino County Sun that, quote, "The man loves Colonel Sanders." And could eat a dozen donuts in a single sitting. She told United Press International, "The truth is, he sneaks into 7-Eleven, some fast food places, he has to rely on places that are open late into the night."

• 19:37Speaker 00

  Because many students joked about seeing him exiting a 7-Eleven with chili and hot dogs.

• 19:42Marcus Parks?

  This, um, this is for, um, my mother.

• 19:48Speaker 00

  Why are you making your mom eat? I thought your mom, I thought you wanna believe that your mom would be healthy not eat?

• 19:53Marcus Parks?

  I'm trying to kill the bitch.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  Oh, then I see. See, Wiley was infazed. Basically, he said.

• 19:59Marcus Parks?

  So what if I eat? I don't have to, I just do it cause I want to.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  This her. Wileys cause.

• 20:08Marcus Parks?

  What are you talking about?

• 20:09Speaker 00

  I know. I get it. He would basically disappear into the mist during the eighties. That did not end the institute.

• 20:17Marcus Parks?

  I'm disappearing.

• 20:22Speaker 04

  So for him, you treated eating like masturbation?

• 20:25Speaker 00

  Basically.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  I don't have to do it. I just want to do it.

• 20:27Speaker 00

  I gotta do it every once in a while. Yeah, sure.

• 20:28Speaker 04

  It's fun.

• 20:29Speaker 00

  But then it's cause the problem is, is that people gotta eat.

• 20:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 00

  And the more you do that, and he liked to eat. And so he just figured, you know what? They already like me. They like Wiley. So we're just gonna keep it going with Wiley. Because he would relocate the center several times. Each time the philosophy would subtly change. And by 1993, food was no longer the enemy. All right. You need to eat foods with a 5D vibration in order to make changes in your 3D body. You are what you eat, and if you eat 5D foods, you become more 5D. It's that simple.

• 21:01Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 21:02Speaker 00

  Become 5D. For example, in order to balance his energies every once in a while, sometimes Wiley, he ate a bunch of Twinkies covered in honey. Cause he let that help him, right? And that was that balanced his energies.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  All that yellow.

• 21:16Speaker 04

  I'm also guessing Wiley, Wiley sounds like he smoked a lot of fucking weed.

• 21:21Speaker 00

  He had to, mister.

• 21:23Marcus Parks?

  Man, he would have been so much better in the age of Postmates.

• 21:26Speaker 00

  Oh my God, Wiley should have his own ghost kitchen.

• 21:31Speaker 00

  Yellow food, foods that go yellow.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  Cause his shit just sounds like, cause that's one fun thing about LA is that there are tons of like munchy delivery places. It's just like, yeah, you could get like six Twinkies covered in honey.

• 21:46Speaker 00

  It's pretty great.

• 21:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:47Speaker 00

  That is what we've mastered here. Not all the healthcare, but we've got that going for us.

• 21:53Speaker 00

  Towards the end of his life, Wiley spent the majority of his time at McDonald's. His meditations revealed all Mickey D's are built on sacred ritual sites protected by entities from the fifth dimension. Wiley now believes that most, the most spiritually perfect meal is McDonald's double quarter pounder cheeseburger meal with a large Diet Coke. And I can hear you already, I hear you, I hear you. But Henry, they're legally forbidden to sell the WQPWC in our county because of screw worms. Well, don't worry, you fucking idiot, cause according to Wiley.

• 22:27Marcus Parks?

  It is also acceptable to combine two quarter pounders with cheeseburgers to make one double quarter pounder if you can't get the double quarter pounder with cheese where you live.

• 22:40Speaker 00

  Thank Christ. I didn't know what I was gonna fucking do.

• 22:44Speaker 00

  Now, Wiley's version, his Bretherian Institute technically exists to this day. The website's still active. The last writings are somehow about chemtrails. But he has a $100,000 lifetime membership that you can purchase. He died in 2016.

• 23:01Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 23:01Speaker 00

  That is, his son keeps it up. And there's still, there's apparently a giant membership that you could, it's a $100,000. But you can just pay a 10K, like little vig in order to pay it off over time.

• 23:12Marcus Parks?

  Like a bail bondsman.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can find it, but it's all a bunch of stuff, but I'm just not gonna, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna give him this money. I don't care how fat I get. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform that helps you stand out online. Yes, that's right. You don't have to smash your face with a hammer. You can just start a business. It's got everything you need on Squarespace, from securing your domain to building a professional site and showcasing your work all in one place. Let's say you wanna show everybody how you can carve your ribs out of your lower abdomen so that you look more like a Ken doll. That's amazing. You can bring your vision to life with AI-powered design or curated templates.

• 23:57Speaker 00

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• 24:26Speaker 00

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• 25:11Speaker 00

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• 25:57Marcus Parks?

  Oh no, it's my favorite thing in the world. It's Quince. Oh, I look good. I mean, I feel good. You know, it's been a while since I wanted to look at myself in the mirror. And Quince really helps me with that. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see myself in that beautiful cashmere Quince sweater. And I think, dang, everybody's gonna want this. I better take it off because I love my wife. You gotta get that versatile jacket. You gotta get the perfect t-shirt. And you know who's got it? Oh, it's Quince. Quince has got it.

• 26:40Marcus Parks?

  If you come to one of the shows, you'll probably see me wearing Quince. If you can't guess which part of my clothes are Quince, I'll give you a pinch. That's right, Quince for a pinch here over at Last Podcast on the Left. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. I like the cashmere. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Last Podcast on the Left. It's the best way to support the show. Quince, it makes you look like a prince.

• 27:27Speaker 00

  All right. But sometimes the dumbest ideas in the world manage to spread despite itself. And now this one morphed to lean and mean, living on light, pronic buffet, led by a fake Indian woman whose teachings would directly kill three people.

• 27:44Speaker 04

  Living on life.

• 27:45Speaker 00

  Living on light.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  What's a pronic buffet?

• 27:48Speaker 00

  That is, you'll see, you're, you're gonna get so full, you're gonna forget to eat.

• 27:52Marcus Parks?

  I'm guessing it's all krill.

• 27:55Speaker 00

  It's krill and incense smoke. Born Ellen Greve in Brisbane, Australia. She was a normal Norwegian ass white woman. Her website says she maintained a vegetarian focus from childhood, studying what she called chai in the 1960s and Vedic meditation from 1974, which led to her, which she said periodic fasting from time to time, but also telepathic abilities.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  Sure. I mean, there are a lot of monks who can, like Buddhist monks, who can go a very long time without food or water.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  Aesthetics, but no, food.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  Food, yes, food.

• 28:31Speaker 00

  Food.

• 28:32Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 28:32Marcus Parks?

  But they also don't do nothing.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:35Marcus Parks?

  Isn't it chi?

• 28:35Speaker 00

  Yes, you're correct.

• 28:36Marcus Parks?

  I thought it was.

• 28:37Speaker 00

  She calls it chai.

• 28:38Marcus Parks?

  She calls it chai, so it is chi.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  She's a moron. It is chi.

• 28:41Marcus Parks?

  I was trying to, I was giving you the benefit of the doubt.

• 28:43Speaker 00

  No, it is, it is chi. She calls it chai.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  Chai.

• 28:47Speaker 00

  Chai.

• 28:47Speaker 04

  Chai.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  Chai tea. Maybe that's how she got confused.

• 28:50Speaker 04

  She's a moron.

• 28:52Speaker 00

  She's a hungry moron. She's spent the beginning.

• 28:55Marcus Parks?

  And that's the worst kind of moron.

• 28:57Speaker 00

  I fucking, honestly, when I'm hungry, you don't want to fucking, honestly, I'm hungry right now. I didn't eat breakfast for this.

• 29:04Speaker 00

  That's why I was irritated when I came in, but now I'm feeling it. I feel the buzz. Feel the buzz.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  You're looking more yellow.

• 29:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's my liver shutting down.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  She spent the beginning of her professional life in business and management and sales. Her success obviously fueled, according to her, by telepathy and obviously no lunch breaks.

• 29:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's an extra hour.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Her slippery slope to becoming an astral being began as she combined her love of fake psychic abilities and corporate packaging. Around 1992, she began selling access to courses on meditation and energy healing. By 1993, her spiritual awakening struck. During her first, what she called a prana initiation, she met the, so follow me on this.

• 29:50Marcus Parks?

  Gotcha.

• 29:50Speaker 00

  She met the astral form of the ghost of Count Gregory, who is a mystic from the 1800s who claimed to be 500 years old. He loved opium. What he said was she could eat prana rather than ordinary food.

• 30:07Speaker 04

  Prana, not piranha.

• 30:08Speaker 00

  Not prana, not prana, not piranha, prana, which I believe is, is Indian energy.

• 30:17Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 30:17Speaker 00

  It's yoga shit. I don't know that it's life force. It's like, it's like chi or fucking Oregon and all that kind of stuff.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:25Marcus Parks?

  Ghosts have ages?

• 30:27Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 30:28Marcus Parks?

  Unfortunately.

• 30:29Speaker 00

  That concept's fucking me up right now, dude, right? Isn't that weird? I was thinking about that myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you die, you're that age.

• 30:36Marcus Parks?

  That's a new age. You said, like, when you die, you become a ghost. Are you zero again?

• 30:41Speaker 00

  I view your age when you die.

• 30:43Marcus Parks?

  So you keep going?

• 30:44Speaker 00

  No, you just are forever. When you die next year, you'll be forever 45.

• 30:49Marcus Parks?

  So he died at 500 and now he's a ghost.

• 30:51Speaker 00

  That's what he says.

• 30:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, because that doesn't, because if he died in the 1800s.

• 30:55Speaker 00

  He wouldn't be 500. He was from the 1300s. He was born in 1300s, lives to the 1800s, quote unquote, died. He lied about all of that. None of that is true.

• 31:05Speaker 04

  Well, he also isn't real because he's a ghost.

• 31:07Speaker 00

  Well, in her version, but the Count Gregory was a real guy.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 31:11Speaker 00

  But who lied about being 500 years old.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  You should look his story. Again, that's one of those, there's like three different side quests we could take as an entire podcast here. And we just, I won't do that to us. But Count Gregory is a whole other Aleister Crowley light from a different time period.

• 31:29Speaker 04

  You sure there's not 500 Gregories that we're counting?

• 31:32Speaker 00

  Ask Gregory. Ask Gregory. Again, that's ghost math.

• 31:36Speaker 04

  One Gregory.

• 31:38Speaker 00

  Two Gregory.

• 31:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, I remember growing up, we used to play Count the Gregory all the time.

• 31:45Speaker 00

  There he is.

• 31:48Speaker 00

  There's his brother. Now she claimed at this moment, her DNA expanded from two to 12 strands to take up more hydrogen. The extra strands of DNA, they have not been scientifically verified. Because she was actually offered $30,000 to prove her claim with the blood test. And Ellen said, please, Marcus, if you would.

• 32:09Speaker 04

  You can't use spiritual energy under a microscope.

• 32:12Speaker 00

  That's how she got your fucking ass.

• 32:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:14Speaker 00

  This inspired her to open a self empowerment academy in Australia with an emphasis on what she called.

• 32:21Speaker 04

  Personal mastery.

• 32:22Speaker 00

  And anybody who's ever had an eating disorder knows exactly what's coming.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. Okay. Well, you said eating disorder, but you wrote ED and thought you meant erectile dysfunction.

• 32:34Speaker 00

  Yeah. Personal, because there is no personal mastery when you have erectile dysfunction.

• 32:38Speaker 04

  Most people with eating disorders also have erectile dysfunction. I should know because that spells my name.

• 32:45Speaker 00

  Oh, cute. Oh, cute. I love how it's symbols for two horrible things.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  What I think happened, honestly, is she connected with Wiley because she admitted they had been pen pals. This might've helped inspire this move and expansion DNA strands. Keeping to tradition for all magical transformations, she can't just be Ellen anymore, right? Ellen's make you eat, you know? Ellen say, wanna top off, honey?

• 33:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, how's your coffee?

• 33:16Speaker 00

  Hi, coffee. How you doing? Oh, you all right? I bet you looking hungry. That's what an Ellen says, right? This is when she would transform and legally change her name to the ethnically ambiguous Jas Muheen. Now there's my skinny queen. By 1998, she wrote the Bible for everybody who can't stand any moment of pleasure in this existence. Living on light, a source of nutrition for the new millennium. Should've been a willenium.

• 33:44Speaker 00

  That would've been fun. The core premise of living on light is that human beings do not have to be nourished only through food. She claims that the body can be sustained by light or prana or divine energy or universal life energy, depending on who you're talking to at the candle store.

• 34:02Speaker 04

  So why do we, why did we start, does she think that eating is some sort of demonic plot?

• 34:10Speaker 00

  Eating has been put into us by, yes, by governments.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 34:16Speaker 00

  It is a human made affectation.

• 34:20Speaker 04

  Affectation.

• 34:21Speaker 00

  That we given because we're weak.

• 34:22Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 34:23Speaker 00

  And we're addicted to food.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  So before civilization, all humans were just walking around breathing.

• 34:28Speaker 00

  We were all just solar panels.

• 34:30Marcus Parks?

  That's why when Eve took the apple, everything's been fucked since then.

• 34:34Speaker 00

  She started the eating shit because she was angry and Adam's like, oh, eat something.

• 34:43Speaker 00

  So you can achieve, according to Jas Muheen, you can achieve a state of physical immortality. She boldly claims, which is not what she said, freedom from fear of death or even death, because she literally says death is good, but it does mean that you can choose to die.

• 34:58Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 34:59Speaker 00

  Could then become a quote.

• 35:01Speaker 04

  Natural consequence of our resonance.

• 35:03Speaker 00

  Most of these ideas were plagiarized by other sources, from other sources, obviously. She quoted many of what she called the great immortalists like Baba G, who swore he was a thousand years old and the Count Gregory that I brought up who swore he was 500 years old. She even managed to con 20th century American mystic Edgar Cayce from beyond the grave.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 35:25Speaker 00

  Edgar Cayce and the Arcturians are another, other, we could just take that for a fucking, that's an hour.

• 35:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:32Speaker 00

  But for now, we'll leave it to the extremely simple, pared down explanation. Jas Muheen said she communed with Edgar on the astral plane, got telepathic permission from Ed's psychic ghost to speak to the Arcturians, who are benevolent alien race devoted to the peace and prosperity of humankind. And then the leader of the Arcturians gave her the process to live on light. Simple.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  Wait, so, all right, so.

• 35:58Speaker 00

  Edgar's the Arcturians manager.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:00Speaker 00

  He's their booker.

• 36:01Speaker 04

  No, I get that. I get that. I'm just trying to figure out the timelines. So we used to be able to absorb with light, but we forgot how to do it and the Arcturians held on to that knowledge for us and it had been.

• 36:14Speaker 00

  Because we weren't ready.

• 36:15Speaker 04

  Oh, we weren't, but we used to be able to do it.

• 36:17Speaker 00

  Yes, but then obviously the Lumurians all died and then the Atlanteans all died.

• 36:23Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 36:23Speaker 00

  And then now they've decided the, the, those that govern our bodies and here in governed human society, the alien watchers that watch us and make sure that we're okay. They now know we can't have all of the tools at once or we kill ourselves.

• 36:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 36:38Marcus Parks?

  And now the Lumurians are the kings of stomp clap music.

• 36:43Speaker 00

  So that's the Libertarians or the Libertines?

• 36:48Speaker 00

  Living on light, the book, outlines the 21 day process one must undergo to achieve true chronic singularity, which leads to self nourishment from the energies of the universe. She underwent, according to her, she went to the very first one in 1993. And she said, as long as you trust the process, meditate and journal, you too can change your race legally. The top of the book, it's a nice toxic hors d'oeuvre. She slowly lowers you into the warm salty broth of her con game.

• 37:20Speaker 04

  21 day process is not about fasting. It's about tuning into higher vibrational levels, which allow us to be sustained by cosmic light.

• 37:29Speaker 00

  It's not about fasting. That's where you guys all have it wrong. It's not not eating because you're eating. It's you're eating light and chronic energy. So you are eating.

• 37:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're eating faster.

• 37:42Speaker 00

  So much faster. You don't even use your fucking mouth. Yeah, you just, you, I guess you inhale it. I don't know.

• 37:47Marcus Parks?

  So she's like the Australian Rachel Dozel.

• 37:51Speaker 00

  If she just kept it to race, like chain transformation, I've honestly, I'd celebrate her.

• 37:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:58Speaker 00

  Jas Muheen says in no uncertain terms though, that many of us would not make the cut. Not just anybody can live on light, only the most special and dedicated. Or even if you are super dedicated, you could be super dedicated, but you might not know that you're acting from ego or too attached to food and that's why you starve to death.

• 38:18Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 38:18Speaker 00

  Okay, so this, I want to read some selections from living on light. We're going to have Marcus here be Jas Muheen. Let's enter, let's get into the headspace so you can really see just how clear these instructions are.

• 38:32Speaker 04

  The first three days, your process begins at midnight and from this time on, there will be no more food and nothing to drink for the next seven days. This is a quiet time to settle in, meditate, whatever that means to you, and stay with yourself. On the second day, you may find there's pain in the kidney area, lower spine and her thighs. Being without liquids to flush to kidneys may cause some discomfort or headache. Toxins can have been released inside the body, will not have been flushed out, and this takes time.

• 39:01Speaker 00

  Takes time.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  You may find you're urinating a lot and there may be a burning sensation for a short time. Do not be concerned with your bowels as they may not empty as quickly as you think they should. Your body may feel weak and shaky, so have a stool in the shower for support. If this is the case, have your carer give around to help. Your divine self is guiding you. You are safe and protected. All you need to do is surrender to the process. You may wish to speak to the angels as they will assist you. During the day, you may feel really thirsty, so be aware, but do not give in as you will only prolong the process and postpone your first drink on the seventh day.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  On the seventh day, you can drink one small glass of juice very slowly.

• 39:50Marcus Parks?

  I mean, that makes sense because if you just chug it, you'll fucking shoot it out your ass. You know, you gotta like take, you gotta drink that juice very slow.

• 39:59Speaker 00

  You're right.

• 39:59Marcus Parks?

  I will say that is the, that I, that is the one part of all of this that I think that she's correct.

• 40:06Speaker 04

  A lot of trial and error, I think, up till this point.

• 40:10Marcus Parks?

  The problem is by then, you're normally dead.

• 40:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:12Marcus Parks?

  Well, it was like when they showed up to the camps, you know, and they couldn't just feed everybody immediately because they were starving. Like, listen, if we feed everyone in the camps right now, then they'll die just because they're not ready, they're not used to eating food. But it was so hard not to give them food because they're so skinny and to feel bad for them. But if you would have gave them, they would have died that way.

• 40:28Speaker 00

  And that's why we hit him with the milkshake hose.

• 40:32Speaker 00

  So here's the eighth to 14th day.

• 40:35Speaker 04

  Food is something that is no longer part of your reality because your reality is no longer that of what it was.

• 40:42Marcus Parks?

  Okay.

• 40:43Speaker 04

  Should you be bombarded by thought projections from an external source, that being negative, then you must find a way to occupy the mind with something more peaceful. Your logical mind and ego slash personality may be out of control at this time. You are completely safe. Of this, there is no doubt. So please do not give negativity any credence whatsoever.

• 41:06Speaker 00

  See, from there, you essentially coast to the end. Slowly swishing sarsaparilla around your mouth and spinning it out, continuing to remind yourself that you don't eat now. During this time period, though, you are allowed to watch TV again, so at least you can catch up on your stories.

• 41:20Marcus Parks?

  Hold on, you can't even watch TV?

• 41:21Speaker 00

  No, silence. You're supposed to do all of this in complete silence.

• 41:24Marcus Parks?

  What a bitch.

• 41:26Speaker 00

  You're right.

• 41:27Marcus Parks?

  I didn't know she was taking my TV, dude.

• 41:29Speaker 00

  You can have nothing because commercials, food.

• 41:33Speaker 04

  It's gonna make you hungry.

• 41:34Speaker 00

  It's gonna make you hungry.

• 41:35Speaker 04

  What about music?

• 41:37Speaker 00

  Oh, food.

• 41:40Marcus Parks?

  Fuck, yeah, eat it, every song.

• 41:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, think of it, uh, vanilla fudge.

• 41:44Marcus Parks?

  Oh, my God, what are you gonna do? Oh, my God, I'm hungry, he's thinking about it. Cake?

• 41:48Speaker 00

  Hot chocolate?

• 41:49Marcus Parks?

  Mmm. Damn, I gotta listen to some music.

• 41:52Speaker 00

  God, I've just seen you eating your records.

• 41:56Speaker 00

  And 21 days later, boom, you're healed. Now ask yourself, what do I want to do with all this time that I now have that I used to spend eating and now I'm not eating? From here on out, you have freedom from food permanently. Now you can eat food only if you want to eat food, like Jas Muheen. Her daughter stated that several times in her presence, you watched your mother eat cookies.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  Yes, because I'm free to eat them.

• 42:20Speaker 00

  I'm free to eat them.

• 42:21Marcus Parks?

  Isn't that cute? Isn't that fun?

• 42:23Speaker 04

  Just like Wiley.

• 42:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, oh, yeah. Now, there are at least three records, three deaths on the record for practitioners of Jas Muheen's specific brand of anedia. Who knows how many undocumented? Because one of the more interesting points is that each one of these victims kept a very careful diary of their descent. So we have an hour by hour breakdown of events that unfolded directly leading to their demise. Fun.

• 42:46Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 42:48Speaker 00

  See, Verity Lynn was an Australian born woman living in Scotland in her late 40s. She was found semi naked in the elements near her tent while camped out in the Highlands. Next to her was a copy of Living on Light, in her diary that logged her attempt at the 21 day process. The police did not release its contents. We know it was updated sporadically. Investigators determined she died of dehydration.

• 43:13Marcus Parks?

  Oh, it's kind of like Into the Wild.

• 43:15Speaker 00

  Yes, very much so, like Into the Wild, but that was, that was his stupidity without guidance.

• 43:24Speaker 00

  Because gotta remember, the reason why I'm thinking, understand is that, well, I'll get into why this kills you so quickly. But these guys are all dying. It's the key is not drinking for seven days.

• 43:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, you die of dehydration before you die of starvation every time.

• 43:38Speaker 00

  You can die in like three days from dehydration. Timo Dagan, he was a 31 year old kindergarten teacher from Munich, Germany.

• 43:46Marcus Parks?

  It's cheaper than other kindergarten teachers.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  Because it's from Timo.

• 43:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, seriously.

• 43:55Marcus Parks?

  Thank you.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  You're welcome.

• 43:56Marcus Parks?

  Thank you.

• 43:57Speaker 00

  He's dead. Now, he got, he got involved with Therapianism, more than likely with his research into neuro linguistic programming, NLP therapy.

• 44:06Marcus Parks?

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:07Speaker 00

  NLP is a controversial therapeutic practice whose base concept is to change the words you use to shape your, you change the words you use to shape your feelings that shape your actions that shape your life. No negative self-talk, because when you say bad things about yourself, it becomes real. My therapist would call this magical thinking and say, bad Henry, bad Henry, stop it, Henry, bad, bad.

• 44:28Speaker 04

  No, Henry.

• 44:29Marcus Parks?

  He hits you too much.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  He does. We have a, we sign a contract.

• 44:33Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 44:34Speaker 00

  Now, it can get kind of culty apparently with NLP, and some people think it's horseshit. I know when I searched NLP therapy, the first thing I saw was a video of Tony Robbins screaming through his giant Shrek lips. But honestly, I also know, you never know what helps people, and I'm sure it has plenty of people that's worked before. You can email me, I just understand, I understand. But the two philosophies definitely share similar gene pools. And sometimes when you're fishing in the new age waters, sometimes you land a fish that you should have thrown back.

• 45:04Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, there's plenty of places, there's plenty of new age things that can actually kill you quite quickly.

• 45:11Speaker 00

  It just sleeps in, you just don't understand how serious it is.

• 45:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:14Marcus Parks?

  But it worked for James Vanderbeek.

• 45:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, it did, didn't it? And Steve Jobs, he's doing great.

• 45:20Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 45:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a whole, it's, you know what it is about doctors? Fuck them.

• 45:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:24Speaker 00

  Right?

• 45:25Marcus Parks?

  Fucking, what are these fucking losers going to school for, fucking like a decade? Fuck you, you fucking nerd.

• 45:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, fuck Johns Hopkins, I'm going to Sedona, Arizona. I talked to a lady named Ellen.

• 45:37Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, I was in Sedona recently and I learned a lot about crystals. And apparently, this is true, the bigger the crystal you buy, the dumber you are.

• 45:47Speaker 00

  Correct. They should take your driver's licenses from you.

• 45:52Speaker 00

  So Timo's roommate, Renata Kugelmann, confirmed that he began the 21 day program in early March 1997. Timo also kept a diary documenting his experience attempting the 21 day process. His first entry is dated March 12, 1997.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  The first day was something to drink. I have never felt so miserable and weak in my life. I can barely see.

• 46:18Speaker 00

  That same day, he was discovered by his roommate unconscious.

• 46:21Speaker 04

  Was it Werner Herzog?

• 46:22Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 46:24Speaker 04

  I would kill Klaus if I could. Then they came and they sent to me the tribe, they offered me his head. I said, now we still have three weeks of filming.

• 46:35Marcus Parks?

  I could see Werner trying this for exactly 40 hours.

• 46:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:40Speaker 04

  I have conquered not drinking. I do not know any more ways for this to benefit me. I have received the benefits. Thank you, Jas Muheen. Now I'm going to call up Errol Morris, we are going for a cheeseburger.

• 46:53Speaker 00

  Going for cheeseburgers. See, the same day, he was discovered by his roommate unconscious. He drove him to the emergency room. Apparently, his circulatory system collapsed and the majority of his organs were failing due to severe dehydration. The last month of his life was a total fucking nightmare. For three weeks, he lay in a semi vegetative state. When he was awake, he was racked with seizures. Somehow, he still refused to eat. They would press food to his lips and he would violently snap his face away. More than likely, they dropped a nutrient line into his body, so he did not die of dehydration. He had a massive seizure when he fell off the bed, cracking his head open on the tile. He died of injuries to the brain.

• 47:36Marcus Parks?

  Hmm, you know, I'd say the brighter side of this is that when he fell off the bed, he was probably a lot lighter to pick back up than the other patients.

• 47:42Speaker 00

  And I think it's really nice, he fell like a maple leaf, like a, like that slow, yeah, very beautiful. That's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

• 47:53Speaker 04

  You just get a janitor and just sweep them away.

• 47:57Speaker 00

  Blow them in the trash can. You see, guys, I hate to break it to you, but not drinking water is really bad for you. Fasting from food in and of itself, it can be harmless and even healthy when done correctly. But I, I looked this up, I don't think anybody says to fast from liquids.

• 48:14Speaker 04

  Quite the opposite.

• 48:15Speaker 00

  I think that liquids are a big part of fasting.

• 48:17Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, like even if it's just like a different liquid, you still need water.

• 48:21Speaker 00

  All liquid. Humans can live without food for weeks at a time, but without drinking water, you can die in a couple of days, meaning like three days, as shown by Timo's horrific death. Now, if dehydration can kill you in three days, but old Muheen's Living on Light is asking for seven, somebody's math might be wrong. Because dying of dehydration is extremely unpleasant. After 12 hours of no water, some people's tongues swell so bad they can barely talk. After 20, your urine becomes as brown as a hot fresh mug of Spring Heel Jack. Oh, yeah, go check it out, springhealjack.com.

• 48:58Speaker 04

  Springhealjackcoffee.com, it's wonderful coffee.

• 49:00Speaker 00

  Mmm, but if it's your urine, you're in trouble.

• 49:02Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, so the pee pee becomes poo poo.

• 49:04Speaker 00

  It does. At 48 hours, you feel weak, shaky, dizzy when standing, chilled, cold sweats, nauseated, headachy, cramped, constipated.

• 49:13Marcus Parks?

  I love that Radiohead song.

• 49:18Speaker 00

  At 72 hours, you start to see shit that's not there, can't concentrate. You get strangely calm and then wildly agitated, and finally you begin to feel confused. Confusion is an extremely bad sign because that means your brain's drying out. You begin eventually to not even feel thirsty anymore. The last two days of your life are spent spewing black gunk out of your caked up mouth as your kidneys and liver shut down. We call this in the true crime biz, getting raisin.

• 49:53Speaker 00

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• 50:37Speaker 00

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• 51:21Marcus Parks?

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• 52:05Marcus Parks?

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• 52:48Marcus Parks?

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• 53:17Marcus Parks?

  These people out there today, they're just putting protein in everything. I got stuck in Prairie Duchesne last week, all the way in Wisconsin. I wanted a cup of coffee. I walked a mile for a cup of coffee and they only sold protein coffee. I lost my mind. I flipped out. I'm like, if I want protein, I'm eating Omaha Steaks. And that's what I do. I get my Omaha Steaks and I put it on the grill and then I take it and I put it in the blender and I put some coffee on it and that's how I take my coffee, Omaha Steak Style. And you can too. All right? Omaha Steaks has nothing to hide.

• 53:58Marcus Parks?

  They tell you where it's from, how it's cut, how it's aged, and then get out of your way. Put it on the grill. I'm sorry that we even talked to you for a moment. And I'm telling you, thank you Omaha Steaks for sending me my big box of steaks because Julie likes steaks. And so when I throw it on the grill and I go in the freezer and I'm like, looky, looky, looky, what have we got here? She goes wild, all right? So shop proteins you can trust at omahastakes.com. And right now during their semi-annual sale, get $25 off with orders of over $149 using code LEFT at checkout. That's omahastakes.com. Terms apply. See site for details.

• 54:45Marcus Parks?

  Yes.

• 54:54Speaker 00

  Our last confirmed victim, now this is truly the most harrowing of them all.

• 54:58Marcus Parks?

  All right.

• 54:59Speaker 00

  Our last confirmed victim was Lonnie Morris, a 53-year-old woman from Melbourne, Australia. She was another deeply spiritual person seeking answers from every corner of new age chicanery, and she fell into the Anetia trap. After reading Living on Light, Lonnie met Jim Vadim Beznak and his wife Eugenia Beznak, a Brisbane-area couple who believed in Jasminheen, and they all met in an online chatroom devoted to breatharianism. Jim and Eugenia claimed to have led 30 people through the 21-day process. And believing this line of utter horseshit, Lonnie flew to meet the couple in Queensland to get skinny with it.

• 55:37Marcus Parks?

  Hey.

• 55:38Speaker 00

  Jenny would later say that she was nervous about Lonnie, despite their previous experience with success, because she said she might already not be ready.

• 55:47Marcus Parks?

  Ah, yeah.

• 55:49Speaker 00

  I want to put this here right now. Anybody who says, this is the key of this whole thing. This is like an MLM of lies, like it's turtled all the way down, because anybody who says they went through the 21-day process has to be lying, because if you do the 21-day process to the letter, you die.

• 56:06Marcus Parks?

  You die, it's day four.

• 56:08Speaker 00

  At least day four, day five.

• 56:10Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 56:11Speaker 00

  You're dead.

• 56:12Marcus Parks?

  You know, I really, I've been thinking lately about like the similarities between Americans and Australians. And this is the same, like it does seem like as both as former British colonies, you know, the Brits don't get into the new age shit as much as we do.

• 56:28Speaker 00

  They're too old.

• 56:29Marcus Parks?

  But Australians and Americans love this shit. Man, they get fucking caught up.

• 56:34Speaker 00

  I think it's because our countries are newer.

• 56:35Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 00

  And we are more subjected to this type of thought. We are based, like even especially America, and Australians look up to, Australia looks up to America in many ways, and America loves novelty. And we love the idea of something that will make you better than everybody else faster than that.

• 56:52Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 00

  You know, faster than them. Like a goal is to be better than everybody else and to feel better than everybody else.

• 56:57Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, man, for two and a half centuries, we've been telling those fuckers to go eat shit.

• 57:01Speaker 00

  And they love Vegemite.

• 57:02Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, they do.

• 57:03Speaker 00

  And it works.

• 57:03Marcus Parks?

  They do. Yeah. Australians, you know, it's probably easier to be a breatharian in Australia because without realizing it, every night spiders just crawl in your mouth and you eat them.

• 57:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, because you're getting food. They're getting food. So this is, this is a part of this I didn't mention in the beginning, but it's true. They suggest having a little team. They want you to have caretakers to take you through the process. It's mentioned casually in Living on Light. To do the 21-day process, Jasminheen recommends having a caregiver and a clarity giver, one helping you with the fast and the other a quote-unquote professional who's already completed the process successfully, which means they're lying.

• 57:44Speaker 00

  Further research shows Jasminheen didn't just steal the idea of the spiritual system breatharianism from a sex cult, but she also stole the actual methodology of the 21-day process from one of the caregivers she worked with, but her name was Charmaine Harley, and she said she had underwent the process with Jasminheen with others in June of 1994. So essentially she stole all of this from her.

• 58:06Marcus Parks?

  Okay, who's the sex cult?

• 58:08Speaker 00

  That's a part of the people that now worship the Arcturians, which I believe are the people she spoke to when she said she spoke to aliens.

• 58:15Marcus Parks?

  Okay, so the, oh, an alien sex cult. That actually, I haven't seen that very often.

• 58:20Speaker 00

  The Rayaleans?

• 58:21Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:21Speaker 00

  The Rayaleans? Well, normally it's a lot of rape. But like this one, that Rayaleans, it's consensual.

• 58:27Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 00

  And Arcturians are vaguely consensual.

• 58:29Marcus Parks?

  Okay, yeah, yeah, I guess with the alien cult, it's either all sex or no sex, like Heaven's Gate.

• 58:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's no pee pee or full pee pee.

• 58:37Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. And if you're in a sex cult, you're eating something, even if it is just jizz with your vagina.

• 58:42Speaker 00

  But you actually have to be really careful because Michael Douglas showed the dangers of that. Lose your whole face.

• 58:50Marcus Parks?

  Man cannot live on female a jacket, let alone.

• 58:53Speaker 00

  If only, because if would, I would be, I don't know.

• 59:04Speaker 00

  Ah, I made love.

• 59:08Speaker 00

  So they sold their couple, they ended up driving Lonnie back to their home in Ormiston, a quiet and green coastal suburb attractive to both new families and retirees. Jim and Eugenia then locked Lonnie up in a caravan in their driveway for seven days. The trio signed a statutory declaration the month before through the mail. In it, all parties agreed Lonnie must complete the 21 day process, then she is to be allowed orange juice for seven days and nothing else for two weeks. It also has a release for culpability in the occasion of your death on the bottom, like when you go bungee jumping. So that's where they got you legally.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  Legally, so legally, they're, they're.

• 59:48Speaker 00

  They're in the clear.

• 59:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:49Speaker 00

  They're in the clear.

• 59:50Marcus Parks?

  Why does she gotta do it in a van and not in a house?

• 59:53Speaker 00

  Because they were. Seriously, you know, they talk about isolating you because the idea is that you can't have any outside, because they like, they'd lock you in a hotel room, but yes.

• 1:00:04Speaker 04

  It's very funny. It's half a house. Caravan is usually used.

• 1:00:07Speaker 00

  It's an RV.

• 1:00:07Speaker 04

  Oh, it's an RV.

• 1:00:08Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, there's a couch and a little table.

• 1:00:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, but yeah, it's kind of a van.

• 1:00:13Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. See, Lonnie also kept a diary of her progress. Her first entries were full of hope, looking forward to the positive change in her life. She said, began to feel a tingling feeling, so she took for the change beginning to take hold. But she did notice she tasted something strange in her mouth, like bile.

• 1:00:33Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:00:34Speaker 00

  By the time of her last conscious days, the entries became fantastical passages about her favorite foods.

• 1:00:40Speaker 04

  Every morning, I think of cups of Earl Grey tea. Yesterday, I caught myself reminiscing of a tomato and coriander soup. Today, it's the black forest cake and pancakes with maple syrup and ice cream and hot chocolate with marshmallows.

• 1:00:59Speaker 00

  Six days in, Jim was in the garden when he heard a thud in the caravan.

• 1:01:03Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:01:04Speaker 00

  Like a woman falling down.

• 1:01:07Marcus Parks?

  I'm glad you find this so humorous.

• 1:01:14Speaker 00

  I guess it is a comedy. He opened the door to see Lonnie on all fours falling out of the bed.

• 1:01:22Speaker 04

  Stupid me, she said when he checked on her.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  Day seven, she's allowed to drink now, but it seems the damage had already been done. She'd lost the use of her right arm and leg, became incontinent, started talking gibberish. Jim reported to doctors afterwards. Schultz began vomiting what he had noticed as called, he called them black sticky flakes that were coming out of her mouth.

• 1:01:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's probably the inside of her stomach.

• 1:01:47Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, the lining.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  Yep, yes. He saw how sick she was and immediately ferried her to the doctor. Oh, no, sorry, no, I'm sorry, that's wrong. They kept her for five days before calling the hospital.

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:57Marcus Parks?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:01:58Speaker 00

  Jim felt he had no reason to, since this was a spiritual exercise and it's not medicine.

• 1:02:03Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, it's just an upside down period.

• 1:02:05Speaker 00

  That's all it is. That's it. Jim told police that he was confident that she was physically fine. The blood lumps flying out of her were symptoms of her lack of strength during her ego battle.

• 1:02:16Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  He was sure Lonnie had a spiritual blockage and she's gunked up by her childish refusal to let go of her emotional burdens.

• 1:02:24Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:02:24Speaker 00

  That's what this is, she's being a bitch right now.

• 1:02:26Speaker 04

  That makes.

• 1:02:26Speaker 00

  She's being a fucking bitch.

• 1:02:28Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, that's a big old duh.

• 1:02:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, dude. Eugenia jumped in with this super useful, actually, you know, as far as the process is concerned, sometimes a doctor's intervention can be fatal.

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:40Speaker 00

  The doctors, they'd stop all the helping.

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  I understand. Yeah, I mean, that is, I mean, technically, that is what happened with, with Timo.

• 1:02:47Speaker 00

  Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  He went to the hospital, he never came out.

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  Never came out, that who's did it then, oh, three weeks doing what? Flopping around back and forth like he's fucking on top of the pops?

• 1:02:56Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, well, I'm glad she's fine.

• 1:02:58Speaker 00

  Yes. He should have told homicide detectives, when the question comes up, should I call a doctor? The answer is no, trust in God. And the homicide detective then high-fived himself in the bathroom, knowing this shit was going to be the easiest case of his year. Jim did end up calling a doctor on the 11th day. This was the so-called clarity giver, some quack named Dr. William Moulton, who claimed to have been through the 21 day process himself. When questioned by police afterwards, Dr. Moulton gave a curt, Jim who? Even though they had found voicemails on his machine of a panicked Jim. Bill, I'm having problems, real problems, should I call the ambulance and what should I tell them?

• 1:03:39Speaker 00

  As the pools of blood vomit pooled around Lonnie, Jim and Eugenia assumed it was the overflow of bad vibes Lonnie had accumulated in her long life. And as she lost the ability to independently breathe, they figured she must just eat a lot of red meat. Apparently, it wasn't until Jim's homemade oxygen tube that he crudely inserted into Lonnie's throat finally stopped working that he called emergency services.

• 1:04:03Marcus Parks?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:04:04Speaker 00

  And by the time she arrived at the hospital, she was in mid-stroke. She was suffering extreme dehydration, kidney failure, and her lungs were filled with fluids. She died seven days later in the ICU.

• 1:04:15Marcus Parks?

  Oh, my God, this sounds like the new Evil Dead movie.

• 1:04:17Speaker 00

  Man, it's just crazy.

• 1:04:19Speaker 04

  Homemade oxygen tube, so what, they gave her like a trach?

• 1:04:22Speaker 00

  It was like a PCP PVC pipe, she couldn't breathe, and so he literally cut a hole in her throat to do a trach, and he shoved the thing in there to try to get her to breathe, and then started bubbling it out, like gunk started coming out of the fucking tube.

• 1:04:34Speaker 04

  So basically, what these people are doing, it's like they're playing pretend desert island.

• 1:04:38Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:04:38Speaker 04

  Like, it's like if they're, if they crash and they don't have any water, then they just, Jesus Christ.

• 1:04:43Speaker 00

  It's the, I don't know, Natalie and I both, because I had to read the script, and it's like, the idea of being that level of thirsty and not drinking, like, I just don't, how do you get there?

• 1:04:56Marcus Parks?

  Also, the whole time, they're drinking water and just be like, I don't know what's wrong with her.

• 1:05:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, literally, like, they're wearing those like marathoner packs with the two hoses in their mouth. They're like. I can't believe it, because.

• 1:05:09Marcus Parks?

  What a weak bitch.

• 1:05:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. At least, like, what's nice is, at least in this story, there is some justice.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:05:19Speaker 00

  It took a Supreme Court jury in Brisbane three hours to find the couple guilty of the manslaughter of Lonnie Marsha Rosalyn Morris. The contract didn't hold up.

• 1:05:27Speaker 04

  What about, but they were legally.

• 1:05:29Speaker 00

  Apparently, some, honestly, it's really good, some judge was like, this is insane.

• 1:05:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:35Speaker 00

  You locked her in an RV.

• 1:05:37Speaker 04

  They didn't get a notary.

• 1:05:38Speaker 00

  Yep. That's what you need. Yeah, you gotta live streaming. The jury had rejected their defense that they honestly and reasonably believed Lonnie was not sick until 11 days into the process. Also, it seems truly that Lonnie's death finally broke something loose with the media's treatment of this brand of guru. Because this is one of those things too, that I think that, when you guys see me get irate about religion, and this is a part of why I get irate around religion, it's not just that I'm a fit, not just like I'm a permanent teenager, it's just this idea that we just have to take you seriously just because you believe something. I just don't, I don't understand that, because part, well, the reason why, like, they, several

• 1:06:22Speaker 00

  giant news sources, big news pieces were done on this subject, and they treated it like it was real, multiple of them. Partially, I do believe it's, in polite regard of a person's quote-unquote religious beliefs, but I also think it's just a fun story to run when you need filler, and there's a part of your brain that thinks, who would ever take this seriously? This is obviously silly shit, and you just don't fully understand just how broken people are. But this story, when it finally came out, horrified everybody who heard it. This was the third death in a year and a half that could be directly tied to living on light. Timo died last March, Lonnie died in July, Verity died in September.

• 1:07:05Speaker 00

  And in the wake of the terrible publicity that followed, 60 Minutes Australia decided to challenge Old Moheen to test her capabilities on the national show. And the special aired in October of that same year. Now, when that thing started, I'm gonna play a couple of clips from the special just because I loved it. It's great, it is, I, I think it's important, very rarely do you see a news program, like, just bring somebody on and be like, this person's, this person's an idiot and a liar and a bad person, and we're gonna show you exactly why. And it was really, it's wonderful, cut and dry.

• 1:07:39Marcus Parks?

  Honest, shout out to 60 Minutes Australia, I love them.

• 1:07:42Speaker 00

  They do a lot of stuff like this.

• 1:07:43Marcus Parks?

  Every time I watch something, 60 Minutes Australia, it's the best information I get.

• 1:07:47Speaker 00

  And it's brutal, right? They're the, Ross Colehart is where he came up, it's very, very interesting. So, in this special, in the beginning, Jas Mahin, she's at full power. Here is a clip of her holding court at a Bretherian Center and then getting grilled by 60 Minutes reporter, Richard Carlton.

• 1:08:03Speaker 05

  He masters that are so powerful with their radiation, their emanations of energy, they have found that through their chi emissions or chi emissions into a crowd, 300 out of 400 people attending automatically stop eating just like that.

• 1:08:18Speaker 06

  How many followers do you think you have?

• 1:08:20Speaker 05

  We have no followers because we're dealing with intelligence switched on people who don't need gurus.

• 1:08:24Speaker 06

  Sorry, run that past me again.

• 1:08:28Speaker 05

  We have no followers. I write books, I put information out on the net. If people feel it works for them, they may apply some of the principles.

• 1:08:36Speaker 06

  How many supporters?

• 1:08:37Speaker 05

  Hmm, probably 100 million.

• 1:08:38Speaker 00

  Cut. Yeah, so she thinks that they have 100 million supporters.

• 1:08:42Marcus Parks?

  Certainly not in America, because we're fat as fuck.

• 1:08:45Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, but it ain't working. It ain't working. So 60 Minutes then edited B-roll of Jas Mahin spinning in a mirrored rehearsal room like Doris Day on Quaaludes with footage of her doing tiny aerobics with little weights, and Richard did not hold back.

• 1:09:00Speaker 06

  You might dismiss Jas Mahin as merely the latest in a colorful line of new age carpetbaggers. Except, her message is dangerous, and she's deluded.

• 1:09:14Speaker 00

  Cut.

• 1:09:16Speaker 00

  Just slumming, fucking, coming right for the throat.

• 1:09:20Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:21Speaker 00

  Oh, so after all this setup and prattling on, they put her to the test. Sixty minutes locked her in a hotel room by the water in Brisbane. Installed cameras for 24/7 surveillance and had two giant women's security guards standing next to her at all times. Her health was closely monitored by Dr. Barris Wank, president of the Queensland branch of the Australian Medical Association.

• 1:09:42Marcus Parks?

  He's a wanker.

• 1:09:44Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:09:45Marcus Parks?

  Is he?

• 1:09:46Speaker 04

  I'm sorry. You fucking got me right as I was taking a slip. Dr. Barris Wank?

• 1:09:52Speaker 00

  Dr. Berry's Wank.

• 1:09:54Speaker 04

  Dr. Barris Wank?

• 1:09:55Speaker 00

  My famous, it's pronounced Berry's. It's Berry's Wank, like rice berries.

• 1:10:03Marcus Parks?

  He's the smartest person in the room.

• 1:10:05Speaker 00

  He is. We have to trust this guy. Forty-eight hours into this test, Jas Muheen was becoming visibly Jas Muleen. Her face was gaunt, her skin pulled tight like a snare drum, eyeballs jutting out of her face like a pug. Dr. Wank registered signs of dehydration and noted her speech was slurred and her pupils were like dinner plates. Ellen was turning into a Slim Jim. But old Muheen said, "No way. I feel great." But she's not doing as well as she'd like because the hotel, it's too close to the main road. And all the sounds and impurities of urban living are limiting her ability to get nutrients from the breeze.

• 1:10:48Marcus Parks?

  Oh, I see. I can, I can see that. It's a little foggy.

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:52Speaker 04

  It's just she can't, so her whole thing is that she, so how is anybody in a city ever supposed to become a protherian? If they can't be near traffic?

• 1:11:02Speaker 00

  Shut up. Just shut, shut your fucking mouth. Shut your fat mouth, you fat boy, you fat undisciplined boy.

• 1:11:09Speaker 04

  I am the fattest boy in this room.

• 1:11:11Speaker 00

  You're a fat undisciplined boy. Fat, fat, obsessed with food. Fat food. You don't have spiritual strength to do this. You don't have the spiritual strength. I don't.

• 1:11:19Speaker 04

  I breathe a lot, though.

• 1:11:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, we do. Honestly, and I, for that, I applaud you.

• 1:11:22Speaker 04

  Box breathing, it's changed my life.

• 1:11:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, you put a box over your head and you breathe and you fall asleep.

• 1:11:28Speaker 00

  Now, to their credit, sixty minutes, they called her bluff. They moved the experiment to an isolated mountain cottage and they began again.

• 1:11:37Speaker 04

  That, I fuck, I love that so much. Like, alright, cool, let's go.

• 1:11:40Speaker 00

  They literally like, alright, fuck yeah, we'll go. You pick it. And so she picked the spot. They're like, let's go, let's go. Alright, done. So two days into this experiment, Dr. Wank advised to stop the test. Jas Muheen was beginning to show signs of kidney failure.

• 1:11:53Marcus Parks?

  Now, is this a different experiment or are they just continuing the same one?

• 1:11:56Speaker 00

  No, they, well, they restarted it. They restarted from the beginning.

• 1:11:59Speaker 04

  So they're like, they gave her some water and they're like, alright, let's split?

• 1:12:02Speaker 00

  No, they, they like, they canned the first one because she was like, oh, I can't do this anymore. They're like, okay. So you, they left, then they rescheduled it. And it's like, okay, we'll start it again. And then obviously they cut it all together for the news program. So she had like some time away. She got to prepare. God knows what she did to prepare. Who knows?

• 1:12:18Speaker 04

  Couple juices?

• 1:12:18Speaker 00

  Maybe. Richard Carlton dug in and asked Jas Muheen, "Can you calm to the intelligent view yet that you can't survive on air?" She said,

• 1:12:29Speaker 04

  "No, it's not true because I've done it for a long period and 6,000 people around the world have done this without any problem."

• 1:12:37Speaker 00

  Now, to her credit, she lasted four days. Sounds like she can really retain some water. Jealous ladies? She retains so much water. Her nickname is the Grand Cooley Dam. Come on, Eddie. Come on, Eddie. Get, get her going. How much water? How much water can this bitch retain?

• 1:12:54Marcus Parks?

  She can retain so much water.

• 1:12:57Speaker 00

  How much?

• 1:12:58Speaker 04

  Water can she retain?

• 1:13:00Speaker 00

  Can she retain the water?

• 1:13:02Marcus Parks?

  She's like a balloon.

• 1:13:03Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:13:07Speaker 04

  Expecting more.

• 1:13:09Speaker 00

  Now, they called it, they called it, uh, they called it, as it became obvious she was losing motor function and her speech noticeably slowed. She'd lost 14 pounds.

• 1:13:21Speaker 04

  In four days?

• 1:13:22Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:13:23Marcus Parks?

  She's tiny as fuck too to begin with.

• 1:13:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, it came out of her ass. After the show aired, she would issue a press release where she dismissed the corporeal nature of national TV, saying,

• 1:13:36Speaker 04

  "What appears to be delusion is some is simply a preferable reality to others. Fuck without our dreams and visions, humanity has no hope."

• 1:13:44Speaker 00

  You're right. Just live in your delusions, let realities fucking fade away from you and don't eat until you become a leaf in autumn.

• 1:13:53Marcus Parks?

  She was ready to die on TV, though.

• 1:13:55Speaker 00

  She was gonna do it. She was gonna die.

• 1:13:58Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, just like that, remember the chick from Alone? The one who like started making like rap, like she killed a rabbit and like made a stuffed animal out of it?

• 1:14:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was ready.

• 1:14:07Marcus Parks?

  She was gonna die and they had to go in there and be like, listen, we're not gonna let you die on camera.

• 1:14:11Speaker 00

  Like, this doesn't work for us.

• 1:14:12Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, I get it, though. I mean, preferable reality, that's not bad.

• 1:14:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:17Speaker 04

  But as long as you don't, you know, make other people do it.

• 1:14:20Speaker 00

  Well, the problem is, is that it's that, it's this idea of, reminds me what we're currently going through, which is this idea of like, I want to live in my world and how dare your reality somehow get involved in my world? This is America. I should be able to live in my world without any of your influence. Like, I'm my own little ecosystem. I'm my own Taylor Swift, walking around as a billionaire, uh, economy as a one person and how dare you try to assume your reality could affect mine?

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  Sure. I mean, it's fine to live in a preferable reality. You just have to constantly be aware that you're living in a preferable reality and you have to realize like, oh yeah, I have to stop. When I'm at the DMV, I have to stop living my preferable reality for a bit.

• 1:15:03Speaker 00

  My preferable reality does involve your preferable reality, so what about my preferable reality?

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  Well, if your preferable reality impinges on my preferable reality, then your preferable reality is not a reality that is, uh, preferable.

• 1:15:17Marcus Parks?

  Go get a dog and move away from everyone else like Tommy Lee Jones's dad in No Country For Old Men.

• 1:15:21Speaker 00

  Yes, like a real man. See, these days,

• 1:15:25Speaker 04

  You can pretend that elves are real.

• 1:15:27Speaker 00

  You can. It's easy. You can do anything you want if you're completely alone.

• 1:15:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, sometimes I pretend like the DoorDash guy is magic.

• 1:15:33Speaker 00

  Of course, because it's better than just imagining him struggling.

• 1:15:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's a preferable reality.

• 1:15:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, I wish that he was a little wooden man that lives in a closet that just came out and he could perform these actions. I don't have to think about how he eats and lives. I do too. I wish that.

• 1:15:47Speaker 04

  No, I just pretend it's total teleportation. Is that the, the, the, the restaurant makes it?

• 1:15:52Speaker 00

  And sends it to a tube.

• 1:15:53Speaker 04

  Directly to my front porch.

• 1:15:54Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, no, it's never an old lady in the middle of the night bringing you Taco Bell for $3.

• 1:15:59Speaker 00

  I don't look at her. I don't look at her. That's my preferable reality.

• 1:16:03Speaker 04

  Say this, the teleportation machine still gets a good tip.

• 1:16:06Speaker 00

  It does. So these days, Jas Muheen, she's still very active. She, uh, just, this is her last livestream that I'm about to play you. She spends her energy trying to distinguish true chronic nourishment from food deprivation. Here she is, summing up the journey of her life on the most recent livestream that she just did.

• 1:16:25Speaker 05

  I think the journey of life on earth is, is incredible. Sometimes you get stretched, other times you get challenged, other times you get punched. And you grow and you learn and you become aware and you recognize maybe a need. You become compassionate, you become empathetic. I personally would like to wave a magic wand and have a world filled with really healthy, happy people living in harmony. And I've always felt the potential of that. So that's been where my journey has led me. Asking questions.

• 1:17:04Speaker 00

  Thank you, Jas Muheen. Shut the fuck up. Shut up, Jas Muheen. Shut the fuck up.

• 1:17:08Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, she barely looks like she has a dried brain.

• 1:17:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, shut, shut your fucking mouth. And she will keep on warbling until the day the worms finally eat her.

• 1:17:19Speaker 00

  Now, there have been more deaths directly as a result of protherianism up until about 2012, as according to our research here. If you know any more, please email me at [email protected]. In 2010, Austrian filmmaker P. A. Straubinger made a documentary called In the Beginning There Was Light.

• 1:17:38Marcus Parks?

  P. A. is a great first name for a documentarian.

• 1:17:41Speaker 00

  He really is. Yeah. Pussy ass. Taken in critical view on protherianism. One of its main subjects is the guru Mataji, who claims not, to not only not eat or drink, but also does not piss or shit.

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  Well, why would he?

• 1:17:56Speaker 00

  Yeah. Can't go, what are you, when nothing comes in, something's gonna go out? So he was currently under the microscope of the Guardian in UK where he was being directly tested on the efficacy of his body mastery. Doctors studying him for the 15-day liquid and food fast said his blood work came out okay and mystified him. Apparently also he was allowed to gargle water and take baths, which seems like a lot of liquid flying around and not get into one of his holes, you know?

• 1:18:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:21Speaker 00

  But inspired by this documentary and fueled by the purchase of Living on Light, an unnamed Swiss woman killed herself for the 21-day process.

• 1:18:28Marcus Parks?

  Maybe she was just sad she didn't have a name.

• 1:18:30Speaker 00

  Alright, maybe.

• 1:18:33Speaker 00

  Well, I can't tell, it'd be nice.

• 1:18:38Speaker 00

  Or Neumann or Birkin. Those beautiful names. My name is Gershkyn.

• 1:18:45Speaker 00

  Now, she swore that she'd only go as far as she felt comfortable. Made it seven days. And even with the hydration she received after this time period, it wasn't enough to save her from the damage to her organs and brain she had already done. Her body was found by her daughters before the process could be completed. The autopsy determined she died of starvation. Lies, lies. Now, all this carnage, all fueled by a very, very silly idea. There's no central body, no physically close charismatic leader, no family sharing, no compound. All you need is living on life and you're technically a follower because Jasmin claims the people who buy the book and that's me too. I bought the book.

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  Yay. That's nice. So you're technically a breatharian.

• 1:19:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, as you can see.

• 1:19:32Speaker 00

  And inhale on fucking Cheetos.

• 1:19:35Speaker 04

  You don't have any soup caught in your beard today.

• 1:19:37Speaker 00

  No, I didn't clean. Now, all of these things, they work because it hinges on powerful recruiting tactic for a cult that only exists as ideas like 764 or QAnon or the Zizians, which is to put power in the hands of the truly powerless at a very low lift. It goes straight to their phones.

• 1:19:56Speaker 04

  That's nice, given that.

• 1:19:57Speaker 00

  Right? People who really need help, people who don't necessarily feel in step with the world around them, tell them they're special, tell them they're powerful and might make them listen to you. And if you give them a key, they'll see a door. Create the issue, frame the issue, give them a simple solution. It's a secret knowledge that helps you rise above the rest. The intrigue, the, I would say the intrepid research team here at Last Podcast and Left are the ones who gave me the key. I want to say thank you to Rachel and Joel, Rachel especially for braving all this horrific prime source material. You did great. Now, once you go out there, want to breathe yourself some dinner? Make sure to go check out lastpodcastmerch.com and read my new self-perfecting curriculum, Living on Lunch.

• 1:20:43Speaker 00

  It's how to eat lunch three separate times a day. And I'll give you a little quick breakdown. It's a hamburger for breakfast, lunch.

• 1:20:49Speaker 04

  Put an egg on that breakfast.

• 1:20:50Speaker 00

  Yes, poke a bowl for snack lunch, tacos for lunch lunch, bowl of tomato soup and patty melt for dinner lunch, six beers for dessert.

• 1:21:00Speaker 04

  That's four lunches.

• 1:21:01Speaker 00

  You said three.

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  It's all lunches.

• 1:21:04Speaker 00

  Lunch is all the way down, my friend.

• 1:21:06Marcus Parks?

  Did you learn about perennium sunning and all?

• 1:21:08Speaker 00

  Oh, yes. You were gonna tell me about this?

• 1:21:11Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, that's like when you like, you eat by sunning your asshole.

• 1:21:14Speaker 00

  Have you heard about that? Josh Brolin?

• 1:21:15Marcus Parks?

  Josh Brolin, he tried to do it. Here's a quote that we found from him. He said he, he tried this perennium sunning that I've been hearing about and my suggestion is do not do it as long as I did. My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was gonna go spend the day shopping with my family and instead I'm icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.

• 1:21:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's an area that never, ever, ever gets sunned.

• 1:21:45Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:21:45Speaker 04

  Never.

• 1:21:46Speaker 00

  It should not receive sun.

• 1:21:48Marcus Parks?

  It just shows how dumb all actors are because I really did think Josh Brolin was smarter than most actors.

• 1:21:54Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:21:55Marcus Parks?

  Turns out he's a fucking idiot.

• 1:21:56Speaker 00

  He's an idiot like all the rest of them.

• 1:21:59Speaker 04

  No, he can just deliver. That's the thing is that he delivers with competence. He delivers with confidence.

• 1:22:05Speaker 00

  Well, you hear his whole story about how he hated auditioning because he's bad at reading and he's like, and now he's just like, I only work as well as I do now because I don't have to audition anymore because I don't have to fake knowing how to read.

• 1:22:19Speaker 04

  I get it, Bobby. Actually, that is kind of, yeah, on Josh Brolin's Instagram post he did about his perennium getting sunburned. It does say, it's kind of funny, hashtag black hole sun.

• 1:22:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, hashtag severe perennium burns is really fucking funny.

• 1:22:32Speaker 04

  I don't know who the fuck thought of this stupid shit, but fuck you nonetheless, seriously.

• 1:22:38Speaker 00

  But yeah, it's another cult, man.

• 1:22:39Marcus Parks?

  Oh my God, his poor neighbor.

• 1:22:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, guy, you know, it's a free show. It's a free show and it's compromised. So it's a big deal. Oh, but that's my story, man. I'm sticking to it.

• 1:22:50Speaker 04

  That was great. Thank you. That was, that was really fun.

• 1:22:53Speaker 00

  That's really fucked, right?

• 1:22:54Marcus Parks?

  It is awful. It is. It's one of those things where I probably would have hated learning about that on my own, but I'm fine with you telling me about it.

• 1:23:01Speaker 04

  Yeah. I actually enjoyed it a lot more just hearing it from you as well.

• 1:23:05Speaker 00

  And I think that what'll be great about this now is that it really sets them up for the joyful series that we're about to do, the super fucking, I can't wait for the celebration of America.

• 1:23:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:16Speaker 00

  That we're about to perform over the next several weeks.

• 1:23:19Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:23:20Marcus Parks?

  There must be some kind of way out of here. Send the Joker to the theater.

• 1:23:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, man, that's why I like Leon Russell, dude. I like Leon Russell. He's peaceful, man. Yeah, there's too much confusion and there's gonna be so much confusion. Yeah, everybody's gonna. Fucking die, man. I can't fucking wait for that. I've been preparing for this series for years.

• 1:23:38Marcus Parks?

  Arguably too much water.

• 1:23:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. Too much water.

• 1:23:42Speaker 04

  A lot of water.

• 1:23:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, way too much water. Upside down, right?

• 1:23:48Speaker 00

  We're going to patreon.com slash Last Podcast and Left to listen to the show for, to listen to the show ad free and you can also watch last stream on the left live on Tuesdays every 6pm over on Patreon. Also go watch our show, the video on Netflix. We're here now.

• 1:24:05Speaker 04

  Yeah. And if you missed the Last JK Ultra show, it's still gonna be available at kiswe.com slash LPOTL.

• 1:24:16Marcus Parks?

  It's LPOTL dot K I S W E dot com.

• 1:24:20Speaker 00

  We did make up the name.

• 1:24:21Speaker 04

  Okay, yeah, we didn't make it up either.

• 1:24:22Speaker 00

  And we did talk about them about the name.

• 1:24:24Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. And for all you fuckers who like watching shit, we got YouTube channels for every other LPN show. I mean, go, whatever one you like, you go, it's got its own channel. The Brighter Side LPN, we got LPNTV, which is filled with VPN, coming back.

• 1:24:40Speaker 00

  Oh, yes it is.

• 1:24:41Marcus Parks?

  Vampire the Masquerade.

• 1:24:42Speaker 00

  Bloodbath 77 is on its way. It is gonna be coming out, I want to say momentarily, we will let you know the exact date, but it is coming out. We got two in the can. It's fucking, I cannot wait for you guys to see this.

• 1:24:52Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, no, we're going YouTube crazy. There's a fucking badass new No Dogs out on YouTube.

• 1:24:58Speaker 00

  That Video Diary came out fucking awesome.

• 1:25:00Marcus Parks?

  Nerd of Mouth, Page Seven's on YouTube. Just go and check it out. They're all connected and just subscribe to all of them so you can stay up to date with everything we're doing over here.

• 1:25:09Speaker 00

  Absolutely. Come and check us out and go check out Movie Stories over on, does it's Sirius Premium?

• 1:25:15Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. And also it's on Patreon.

• 1:25:17Speaker 00

  It's on our Patreon. You can go give us money directly. You give us money directly and you can see that. It's pretty great. We have fun with that.

• 1:25:22Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, we're, we're, we're deep into our John Carpenter series.

• 1:25:25Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, we are.

• 1:25:26Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, it's gonna be fucking awesome. I love that shit. He's a pretty fucking cool.

• 1:25:30Speaker 00

  He is.

• 1:25:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:25:31Speaker 00

  Well, hell Satan. Fuck you, Ellen.

• 1:25:35Speaker 04

  And you know, you can just say that across the board. Can you think of an Ellen you really enjoy?

• 1:25:43Marcus Parks?

  I had an Aunt Ellen and um, gotta say, didn't enjoy her.

• 1:25:48Speaker 00

  Ellen Pompeo seems fine.

• 1:25:50Marcus Parks?

  I like her.

• 1:25:50Speaker 04

  Actually, Ellen Pompeo is great. I'm a, I'm actually.

• 1:25:53Speaker 00

  Grey's Anatomy fan.

• 1:25:54Speaker 04

  I'm a big Grey's Anatomy fan, yeah.

• 1:25:55Marcus Parks?

  I like the um, Moonlight Mile movie and she's great in that.

• 1:25:58Speaker 00

  She is good in that.

• 1:25:59Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, I love that shit. Uh, yeah, so who, yeah.

• 1:26:02Speaker 04

  Oh, Ellen Barkin, she's pretty cool.

• 1:26:03Speaker 00

  Oh, I like Ellen Barkin. I like Ellen Barkin. Ellen Burstyn.

• 1:26:08Marcus Parks?

  Very, very, very thin Ellen Barkin.

• 1:26:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, very thin.

• 1:26:12Marcus Parks?

  Very thin, like everything. She, she kind of looks like Jasmin.

• 1:26:15Speaker 00

  She does.

• 1:26:16Marcus Parks?

  In a weird way.

• 1:26:16Speaker 00

  Eat a fucking sandwich, guys.

• 1:26:18Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. Hell, um, even though he's an idiot, Josh Brolin.

• 1:26:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, he didn't deserve that.

• 1:26:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's, he's nice.

• 1:26:25Speaker 00

  He's innocent.

• 1:26:26Marcus Parks?

  He seems fun.

• 1:26:27Speaker 04

  He's nice, yeah.

• 1:26:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, you could smoke a huge joint with him. He'd be great.

• 1:26:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. And he kept a, a straight face the entire time, uh, acting those scenes in No Country For Old Men with the, the Scottish girl, uh, who did the worst Texas accent I've ever heard in my life. He, guy, he just rolled through it.

• 1:26:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's a real actor.

• 1:26:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:45Speaker 00

  Goodbye.

• 1:26:50Speaker 05

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