Side Stories: Bad Teacher

Henry & Eddie bring you this week’s weirdest news and wildest stories - a Milwaukee woman accused of posing as a substitute teacher just to talk shit to kids, a theme park slip-up leaves one man dead, a fatal encounter at a UK tiger enclosure, monkey gangs terrorizing Nepal, Satan gets the floor at an Iowa city council meeting, the cheesesteak debate continues, and MORE!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  On October 30th, Dexter Morgan is back. In this season, he's facing the scariest threat yet. Middle age. A lifetime of blending in gets to you. And now Dexter is up against two rival killers stealing the spotlight. Taking them down means changing his MO and things are gonna get messy. Starring Michael C. Hall, Uma Thurman, Dan Stevens, and Brian Cox. Dexter: Resurrection. New season, October 30th on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 0:31Henry Zebrowski?

  Everyone loves an unexpected plot twist, but your education shouldn't be one of them. And nobody understands that better than Southern New Hampshire University. SNHU's online degree programs provide the flexibility you need, backed by support you can count on. With over 200 affordable options in psychology, criminal justice, business, and more, SNHU is built to fit your life and your budget. Visit SNHU.edu/lastpodcast to learn more. That's SNHU.edu/lastpodcast.

• 1:08Speaker 02

  There's no place to escape to.

• 1:09Speaker 03

  This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories?

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's when the cannibalism started.

• 1:19Henry Zebrowski?

  Side stories, yes.

• 1:27Henry Zebrowski?

  Let me know when we're going.

• 1:28Speaker 04

  We're going.

• 1:29Henry Zebrowski?

  I feel vulnerable today.

• 1:30Speaker 04

  You look vulnerable.

• 1:31Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm tired.

• 1:32Speaker 04

  Your hat's all fucked up.

• 1:33Henry Zebrowski?

  Thank you. I did this, this is a structural issue.

• 1:36Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:37Henry Zebrowski?

  The hat issue is a structural issue that I'm dealing with. Right now, it's because for a while I was kind of felt, I'm gonna say hogtied, maybe just because of the way I look. But I felt hogtied by the fact that, you know, everyone was like, there was like a flat brim conspiracy happening with hats.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, uh, I don't mind the flat brim, but I need the other option.

• 1:58Henry Zebrowski?

  This is the thing, I've just taken it back and say, you know what? I'm not doing flat brims anymore. I'm not a Funko Pop collector.

• 2:06Speaker 04

  Whoa, you're gonna, you're gonna attach the flat brim to the Funko Pop.

• 2:11Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm not a steampunk rapper.

• 2:13Speaker 04

  I have one Funko Pop.

• 2:15Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah?

• 2:16Speaker 04

  I have one Funko, it's a Willie Nelson and it was a gift.

• 2:18Henry Zebrowski?

  That's cute, but that's fine, it's a gift you didn't buy it. You know, wait online to buy it.

• 2:22Speaker 04

  What about, about this fucking Funko Pop? It doesn't stand on its own.

• 2:26Henry Zebrowski?

  What do you mean?

• 2:27Speaker 04

  It just like falls, it's top-heavy. And so it just falls over anytime like a door shuts.

• 2:31Henry Zebrowski?

  Like Willie Nelson.

• 2:33Speaker 04

  Like Willie Nelson, but you know what I did, is what they did to Willie Nelson? Glued his fucking feet to the ground.

• 2:38Henry Zebrowski?

  And that's what you gotta do to men of a certain age. Welcome to Side Stories. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson, not glued, completely free.

• 2:47Speaker 04

  No, completely free, I'm a man of my own volition.

• 2:50Henry Zebrowski?

  He gets out there and me, I'm Henry Zebrowski, I am still reeling from seeing Paranormal Activity on Broadway.

• 2:57Speaker 04

  Dude, it was awesome! It was so good, I'm so like, alright, I went the full spectrum.

• 3:04Henry Zebrowski?

  We both did the same thing, Eddie, it's so funny.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  I show up to town, they're like Paranormal Activity at the August Wilson Theater. I'm like, oh, the historically black theater?

• 3:15Henry Zebrowski?

  One of the most important locations in theater history. And as that was happening, because same thing, I was like, what an abomination.

• 3:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was so mad.

• 3:25Henry Zebrowski?

  I can't fucking believe they do something like that. And then I saw another ad for it and I was like, unfucking believable. How silly is this shit?

• 3:33Speaker 04

  And then I yelled at someone in the street about it and they were like, I hear it's good.

• 3:36Henry Zebrowski?

  Literally, I was like Paranormal Activity on Broadway and someone's like, my cousin saw it, it's fabulous. Everywhere you go. And then I was just like, alright, and so then I went into, I was like, well, I'm gonna look at the reviews and see the scathing reviews that are gonna show that I'm correct in my, oh, they're saying it's spooky and compelling.

• 3:57Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, they're saying that it's to like to behold in a wonderful night out with family and friends for the spooky time of year. I was like, do I need to go see Paranormal Activity on Broadway? And then I sent Natalie a text in the middle of the night, I was like, should I go see Paranormal Activity on Broadway? And she was like, of course!

• 4:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, then you asked me and I asked Julie and Julie had the same reaction. And I was like, what, am I taking crazy pills?

• 4:20Henry Zebrowski?

  Nope, nope, nope, nope, they were, but the girls were right.

• 4:22Speaker 04

  They went, we went, we went and sat second row.

• 4:24Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, it was me and Julie, second row on Broadway, having a blast, just like literally wonderful time. Screaming, screaming, laughing, going like, and you know what it is? And I'm gonna say this here into a microphone, it is absolutely Broadway's plan to try to bring black people and Latino people to Broadway.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  It was, it was wild.

• 4:48Henry Zebrowski?

  Absolutely the plan.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  We were in the movie theater, they were like, stop, don't go in there!

• 4:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, it was great. It's the funniest shit. And obviously it's bad for theater or whatever, but I don't fucking, I don't care, man.

• 5:01Speaker 04

  I laughed my fucking ass off.

• 5:02Henry Zebrowski?

  It made me laugh my ass off, I thought it was really fun, so.

• 5:05Speaker 04

  I had to tell the guy next to me to be quiet at one point and then I felt bad about it because he, I feel like he was right.

• 5:10Henry Zebrowski?

  He could be, he'd be like, I got you going there, she got the demon, she got the demon in her! This is my favorite shit, I love it.

• 5:18Speaker 04

  It was, um, surprisingly amazing, it feels like a new art form.

• 5:23Henry Zebrowski?

  It was really fun, it was, it was a fun, I've never seen a scary play before, we're not obviously being paid.

• 5:29Speaker 04

  No.

• 5:29Henry Zebrowski?

  No one fucking knows, they have no idea that we're talking about them, they probably are upset that we're talking about them. I'm just saying it's a very interesting show, but we had so much fun, man.

• 5:37Speaker 04

  I wanna see what this creates, I wanna see the next scary play now.

• 5:42Henry Zebrowski?

  I wanna see Hereditary on Broadway.

• 5:44Speaker 04

  Honestly, I feel like it would work.

• 5:46Henry Zebrowski?

  I wanna see Hereditary on Broadway.

• 5:47Speaker 04

  Midsummer would work too.

• 5:49Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, it would, yeah, it would. You should produce it. Yeah, sure.

• 5:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a good idea, Broadway's such a thriving business.

• 5:58Henry Zebrowski?

  The only way we're gonna make it at this point is you're gonna need like a, it's like What is a Woman?, the musical. You know what I mean? That's the other side, they're gonna start going after the MAGA crowd or whatever. Shout out to Joyelle Johnson and John Trowbridge for joining us live in Brooklyn. Rob, you did great, Rob joined us live on stage in Brooklyn.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Marcus popped up for his first Side Story show.

• 6:21Henry Zebrowski?

  He was pretty great, it was the first time he's ever seen us live, which is hilarious. There are fans that have seen it like four times. Yeah, he's never, he has no idea, I didn't know that's what you guys did. It's like, yeah, it's fun, you do, yeah, we do, we really do have a lot of fun. And that was truly, you gotta check out the show because we have been adding guests, fun new things. John Trowbridge came as Baron Trump on stilts, it was the funniest.

• 6:46Speaker 04

  It made me so happy.

• 6:47Henry Zebrowski?

  His bit's so fucking funny. And one more piece of little business before we get into stories today. The second printing of Fright Janson's Revolting Repository of Gasling Sounds, Parts 1 and 2 is officially back on sale this Friday for our second printing of our Halloween Sound Effects album. Go over to newberrycomics.com to go buy it this Friday, I believe it starts at like midnight.

• 7:12Speaker 04

  I don't know what it's exactly.

• 7:13Henry Zebrowski?

  And so that shit's gonna sell out immediately, but.

• 7:15Speaker 04

  It's a candy corn looking vinyl.

• 7:18Henry Zebrowski?

  It's cool. And then we are going to have limited edition LPN variants that are gonna be sold at two Los Angeles locations starting this Saturday. One is at the Mystic Museum in Burbank where Ed and I are gonna be at 10:30. This is all just, just hatched.

• 7:34Speaker 04

  10:30 AM.

• 7:36Henry Zebrowski?

  10:30 in the morning, we got 20 records left, the LPN variant, so it's got its own special thing, its own special vinyl style to it, and then we are gonna be, and then it's also gonna be at Permanent Records. So go check them out, go get it, we are live, baby, it is spooky season.

• 7:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, if you're on vacay in LA, come and get that goddamn album, it's gonna be a lot of fun.

• 7:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Come get that shit, get that fucking shit!

• 8:00Speaker 04

  Also tonight, I'm gonna be at the Stray Theater with Amber Nelson, but that's a, you know, if anyone cares.

• 8:04Henry Zebrowski?

  But if you're in town, because I'm gonna, I'm gonna come see that show.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Oh, that's gonna be a lot of fun.

• 8:07Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm gonna come see your ass.

• 8:08Speaker 04

  Slammers Comedy Bash, got Keith Carey, Mean Boys fame, and, uh, and Leah Bonham, it's gonna be a lot of fun.

• 8:15Henry Zebrowski?

  So we got some updates. Krista Pike lived.

• 8:19Speaker 04

  She's like, fine.

• 8:20Henry Zebrowski?

  So Krista Pike.

• 8:21Speaker 04

  She's like, woke up, was like, that was nuts. Whoa, what the living fuck, y'all? Where I went was hot. I'm itchy, I don't like this.

• 8:31Henry Zebrowski?

  So Krista Pike, uh, for those of you that don't know, we covered it last week, she went through, they, they gave her two taps of lethal injection. She was in jail for torturing and murdering a woman to death with a partner. Uh, she was on death row for many, many years. We also know that she attacked a bunch of people in jail, we know she tried to escape. Krista Pike is really intense, but that lady's flat ass veins saved her life because she had a collapsed vein, they stuck lethal injection inside of her. She, she felt hot, she felt like her arm was gonna explode, but then she lived. And so, but everybody thought.

• 9:07Speaker 04

  They double shot her.

• 9:08Henry Zebrowski?

  They double shot her and they legitimately thought, well, there's no way, they, there was gonna be no brain activity.

• 9:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:14Henry Zebrowski?

  But apparently she's up and walking and the terms they use, which I thought was kind of hilarious, were she's irritated and confused.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:23Henry Zebrowski?

  And it's like, yeah.

• 9:24Speaker 04

  You can't kill me, you fucking piece of shit! You can fucking kill me, I don't die, I make things die!

• 9:32Henry Zebrowski?

  You know, like she's fucking, I'm proud of her, she toddled right out of that, she fucking took two government shots to the head. Boom, boom, boom, boom, and she is alive and thriving. So you can't kill her, can't kill her, Teflon.

• 9:47Speaker 04

  I've been talking to a lot of people about this because it's very interesting, but it is crazy how many times people are like, let her out!

• 9:54Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, it's because they're.

• 9:55Speaker 04

  And they're just like, let her out, she survived, it's like, well. Now she's good.

• 10:00Henry Zebrowski?

  Just hold on on that, just hold on that. I honestly think that um, if I'm gonna, if I was Crystal Pike, I'd be extra mad. So if I got let out, I'd do a bunch of crimes. That is for fucking certain. If I was just let out after all that, I'd be like, oh, we're now really doing this. I'm fucking free, you're trying to kill me fucking twice? Now I know you can't kill me. Uh, and this also kind of brings up the, we'll talk very vaguely about the Peter Hegseth talking about killing the, the essentially doing a public execution of the Fort Hood shooter.

• 10:33Speaker 04

  Imagine if something like this happened.

• 10:34Henry Zebrowski?

  Um, and it will, and I'm just gonna put it out there. My read on this situation is that it's not gonna happen. It's that no streamer is going to do it. And that they could even try to build their own pipes in order to put it out on some government website. Because Peter Hegseth just said that. He just said they're gonna livestream the execution.

• 10:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:55Henry Zebrowski?

  We have no idea how that is going to happen. We don't know if people are willing to see, and if I was you, I would go check out, and I don't like social media, but if I was you, I would go read Damien Echols' response to this story.

• 11:09Speaker 04

  Oh, interesting.

• 11:10Henry Zebrowski?

  Because Damien Echols talks about what it's like to be on death row, go through this whole process, watch people get murdered in front of him in jail. Like he watched two people get stabbed to death in jail in front of him. And he also saw a man that got to know a murderer that wept audibly every night about what he did. And so he sa- he saw both. He saw it's extremely complex, this whole scenario is extremely complex, but the idea that you think that you can just put somebody dying on the internet, like it is already on there, right? I watched police body cam footage that has-

• 11:52Speaker 04

  So now we're saying still, you can still find it?

• 11:54Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, and the riff tracks on that is great.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:57Henry Zebrowski?

  And then the-

• 11:59Henry Zebrowski?

  I love those guys. But the other, the uh, body cam footage, like I've seen people get shot on body cam footage, uh, and uh, accidentally.

• 12:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:07Henry Zebrowski?

  And I don't like it, y'all. Uh, I think that it is going to hurt the soul of America. And what Damien Echols is basically saying is that if you've never seen somebody die,

• 12:20Henry Zebrowski?

  and then that's the way you see somebody die, it is going to wreck your entire life. It's like a stain on your very soul. Uh, and so I just say even if they do it, I would avoid it.

• 12:33Speaker 04

  Yes. No, it's not good to watch someone die. I wonder if something like this will be so awful that it will help lead to abolishing the death penalty altogether?

• 12:41Henry Zebrowski?

  I um, I don't know if we're in the learning lessons part of the time period.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess if we're not uh, if we're not doing it after Krista Pike.

• 12:49Henry Zebrowski?

  I think that-

• 12:50Speaker 04

  If we're still just rolling with it. Cause people have been killed since that. Since that, but people have gotten a hotshot since Krista Pike lived.

• 12:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep. It's, it is uh, so we are, yeah, we're not in that. So I would just say, go see what Damien Echols has to say about this very subject. It is fascinating, it's extremely complex, it is a lot of fun little moral holes.

• 13:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:13Henry Zebrowski?

  And uh, we're against the death penalty, maybe because we're a bunch of snowflake cucks that uh, suck our own dicks for a living.

• 13:21Speaker 04

  I also, in the camp, that it is way harder to live in prison for the rest of your life than die early.

• 13:27Henry Zebrowski?

  I, we all, you and I both agree.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, no one else you should check out, um, is the Wrongfully Accused Podcast. I, I learned a lot about from that podcast. It's one of the few podcasts I've checked out from time to time. And uh, the one thing I learned is that one out of 20 people on death row are presumed innocent.

• 13:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  So that alone.

• 13:43Henry Zebrowski?

  And the Fort Hood guy, I don't fucking care about this shooter.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  No, I hate him.

• 13:47Henry Zebrowski?

  Fuck that fucker. I fuck him. It's not about him. It's really just this idea that it's this whole vibe, it's this whole macho vibe that we are just fucking stuck in and we can't get out of. We just have to like-

• 14:03Speaker 04

  Public executions are for dictators and fucking third world countries and people that have horrible governments and like, it's terrifying.

• 14:09Henry Zebrowski?

  All of this news that have been coming out all feels like it is connected and I don't know how to put that all together yet, between like the Cornell stuff and the, and this and the, and the ICE murders and all this, it's all, I don't know what the issue that is, that is that connected, but I just feel like the whole fucking thing is connected. And if you have any theories, side stories, l p o t l at gmail dot com. Like, yes, obviously, maybe it's the concept that the patriarchy gone wild, but I also think we've been in one for a long time and it ain't been this bad in a hot fucking second. So, I don't know what the fuck's going on out there.

• 14:47Speaker 04

  I'm with you, but let's stay out of the heavy shit. There's a lot of fun stuff that happened this week.

• 14:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Best story I've ever read.

• 14:54Speaker 04

  Hit me with it.

• 14:55Henry Zebrowski?

  By far the best story I've ever read. I love this woman. Woman fake being a substitute teacher just to go into class and berate the children.

• 15:05Henry Zebrowski?

  Single funniest thing I've ever seen, heard of. I'm so happy, I know that she was, I'm gonna just say that her material was in the Shane Gillis camp of being a bit blue.

• 15:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:17Henry Zebrowski?

  And a little bit thin, but it was pretty funny.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  She was 23, you know?

• 15:21Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, yeah, she's 23 years old, she went back to her Milwaukee High School because she said she, quote, she was bored and hates kids.

• 15:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:29Henry Zebrowski?

  So I fucking, oh my god, so this is a Milwaukee, Amy Jones, 23 years young, September 24th, so she, I guess she just walked in. They said one thing that they said it was a super low, like it was this kind of perfect storm.

• 15:43Speaker 04

  She got kinda lucky.

• 15:43Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, it was a perfect storm, it was like eight teachers had called out.

• 15:46Speaker 04

  And they only had seven replacements, so like, oh, you must be for the last one.

• 15:50Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, she's like, yep.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, put me in there.

• 15:52Henry Zebrowski?

  So she went to Rufus King International High School, um, so-

• 15:56Speaker 04

  Which is a hilarious name for a high school. I don't know who Rufus King is, let's look that up.

• 16:00Henry Zebrowski?

  Who knows, who knows? But a resource officer was told that a teacher was, quote, using profane language, racial slurs, sexually derogatory statements, and organizing students by race and gender in class. They'd be like, over here, black kids, over here, white kids, you Dominican? Over here, you can't stand over here, right? Again, this is not-

• 16:22Speaker 04

  Hey fat boy, she literally, hey fat boy!

• 16:24Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, she called one student fat boy, she asked another student if she wanted to be a stripper or a hooker.

• 16:30Speaker 04

  Which one you got? Which one you want to be? You want to be stripper or hooker?

• 16:35Henry Zebrowski?

  And she told two white students that they were the type of people to start school shootings.

• 16:39Speaker 04

  Hey crackers!

• 16:41Henry Zebrowski?

  I know you dangerous ass crackers. I know you some dangerous ass crackers, look at you. I know you are, look at your little pinched face, you got your black ass jeans on.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  Then she started asking for vape or weed and then like, no one had it, and she's like, y'all lame, y'all lame.

• 16:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, you know, it's a crime.

• 16:59Speaker 04

  Three classes, she got her three periods.

• 17:02Henry Zebrowski?

  She full, three full hours of it. And that sweet release, that sweet release of those full three hours, just like listening, looking at the crooked spines of these iPad babies and just yelling at their faces, god, I'm jealous.

• 17:19Speaker 04

  She's got six felonies.

• 17:21Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh yeah, it's cause you're not supposed to break into school.

• 17:23Speaker 04

  No, they hate that.

• 17:25Henry Zebrowski?

  As they should, I do believe that the idea of it-

• 17:27Speaker 04

  What she did is wrong.

• 17:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 17:29Speaker 04

  Doesn't make me not proud of her.

• 17:31Henry Zebrowski?

  I love what she did. Hate the sin, it's the opposite, hate the sinner, was it like, love the sinner, hate the sin?

• 17:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:39Henry Zebrowski?

  I kinda love both, but I do understand that she needs-

• 17:43Speaker 04

  I wish she would have filled out the paperwork to become a substitute teacher and then get fired.

• 17:47Henry Zebrowski?

  That would be simply the best.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  That would be the best, that would be the better move, seems like she's a little impatient for that.

• 17:53Henry Zebrowski?

  She could probably have built that up too, and she could move from, and this is all great advice, Eddie.

• 17:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:58Henry Zebrowski?

  She could then move from county to county and then reapply as a substitute teacher.

• 18:02Speaker 04

  Cause they don't care.

• 18:03Henry Zebrowski?

  No idea, they have no, it's so lack of paperwork, anything, and then you could berate kids in different counties.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:08Henry Zebrowski?

  Which I think could be really fun. She is smiling very widely for her mugshot.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  She knows that she's funny.

• 18:14Henry Zebrowski?

  She was arrested again within the last 24 hours for stealing a car from a gym. She is um, an erratic human being, Rob.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:20Henry Zebrowski?

  I don't think that, I think that she might be a bit erratic, but we are, but I do think there's hope for her.

• 18:25Speaker 04

  I feel like if we get her on meds, like she could be opening for us.

• 18:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes, I think that, I think that we're there. I think that we're there. I think that if she could get that all figured out, she could maybe figure, she's got a lot of extra energy. But she is facing six felony charges, um, they could be, convicted, she can get a maximum sentence of 21 years.

• 18:47Speaker 04

  I don't think they're gonna, that's gonna happen to her.

• 18:48Henry Zebrowski?

  I doubt that.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  The main, the main one is impersonating a public employee, and then five counts of exposing a child to harmful descriptions, which, I mean, I feel like they're just kinda like tacking that on.

• 18:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, the one thing, well, yes, they're gonna, they're trying to just get fucking all, they're trying to fucking get her on whatever they can get her because it's really the idea of, it's not about her making fun of the kids, everyone wants to make fun of the kids.

• 19:10Speaker 04

  I feel bad for the fat kid, but I mean, it's-

• 19:12Henry Zebrowski?

  Same time, sometimes you gotta hear it, I got called fucking, they all they did was scream Free Willy at me for fucking a decade, or it happens.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  For a long time, yeah.

• 19:18Henry Zebrowski?

  It's just what happens, okay? And so I think that she is, um, yeah, she's in the wrong, I do understand the main, main issue here is breaking into the school. Well, you can see why they wanna make sure that they punish you for fucking breaking into a school.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  During a time when people shoot up schools all the time, it's not a good time to do this.

• 19:35Henry Zebrowski?

  No, it is not. This is not a good look, you should do this at a private school.

• 19:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, also you do this in the seventies, no one cares.

• 19:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Everybody laughs. You become a teacher.

• 19:43Speaker 05

  Isn't it kind of a good thing that she did this, cause she pointed out a weakness in their security?

• 19:47Henry Zebrowski?

  No, it's, no, it's just easy to do, anybody can walk into a school and kill everybody. It's actually extremely easy, it's a place for children.

• 19:53Speaker 04

  That principal should be in a lot of trouble, I'm sure they are.

• 19:56Henry Zebrowski?

  But yeah, they said that she went through all the security protocols.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:59Henry Zebrowski?

  So she didn't have a gun, she didn't have anything, she went in metal detector and did stuff like that, um, but they did not really validate that she was a teacher. So that was one of those things, that they should go through, basically like, who knows? There's more of a, a system that could be there, but we know that the elementary school and all of these systems, every public school system is stressed to the absolute max.

• 20:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:21Henry Zebrowski?

  In order to work for as little money as humanly possible. So I could see why there are gaps like this, but yes, she got to live everybody's dream, but hopefully she doesn't get punishment to the maximum for it. Cause that's the best part, is just yelling at a bunch of fucking teenagers.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 20:38Henry Zebrowski?

  White kids over here, black kids over here.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  It's so funny.

• 20:42Henry Zebrowski?

  It's like, oh my god, lady, what are you doing?

• 20:44Speaker 04

  So funny.

• 20:45Henry Zebrowski?

  Just doing speed roast.

• 20:48Henry Zebrowski?

  She's just doing, we're fucking, she's just doing her job. Cause the idea of just pulling them apart and taking them apart, but yeah, you know, and also let's just say, they gave those kids so much stuff to talk about.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  Oh my God. It's also, it's like, you're a parent of one of those kids. It's like, okay, I'm mad that this happened and it's sad, but what did you learn?

• 21:10Henry Zebrowski?

  What did you learn?

• 21:10Speaker 04

  What did you learn? Tell us.

• 21:13Henry Zebrowski?

  I learned that I am a pussy. I'm a whack ass pussy, mom.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  Yes, you are.

• 21:17Henry Zebrowski?

  Exactly.

• 21:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Exactly. Cause you're never holding, are you, son?

• 21:22Speaker 04

  Where's your vape?

• 21:23Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, you're never holding.

• 21:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:26Henry Zebrowski?

  You never know what the next, we don't know where the link is. Right? Where's the fucking link, son?

• 21:31Speaker 04

  Oh, Milwaukee.

• 21:32Henry Zebrowski?

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• 22:13Henry Zebrowski?

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• 22:38Henry Zebrowski?

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• 23:22Henry Zebrowski?

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• 24:07Henry Zebrowski?

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• 24:22Henry Zebrowski?

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• 25:08Henry Zebrowski?

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• 25:56Henry Zebrowski?

  All right, we got, and what's next door? We got some really good stuff. Oh, holy fucking shit. So Six Flags over Georgia.

• 26:02Speaker 04

  Whoa, you guys fucked up.

• 26:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Big guy fell out of the Goliath ride, uh, collapsed on top of a bunch of people. The, the worst part is, did you see the pictures of the, the souvenir picture?

• 26:12Speaker 04

  So the souvenir picture snapped at the exact time that he fell out of the roller coaster.

• 26:17Henry Zebrowski?

  He's tumbling through the air, like really like butthole first, which is an unfortunate way to have your last picture be taken.

• 26:24Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 26:25Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm really hope that whatever happens to me in this life, Eddie, that my final picture is at me upside down, butthole spread, shooting through the air on top of a roller coaster. I'm going to do anything I can.

• 26:38Speaker 04

  I mean, well, at this point, everyone knows that Six Flags is now scary. They don't, they don't.

• 26:43Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, Six Flags, they have a new owner.

• 26:45Speaker 04

  A bunch of the rides afterwards.

• 26:47Henry Zebrowski?

  They have.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  Oh, the other ones are fucked up too.

• 26:48Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm going to put this out there as a 42-year-old man whose beautiful wife is addict- addicted to theme parks.

• 26:55Speaker 04

  I love theme parks.

• 26:56Henry Zebrowski?

  You guys both love them. I'm taken to many different theme parks. I go to many different ones. And honestly, I am at the point where I really only trust Disney Universal for the rides. Because of how much they have left to use.

• 27:11Speaker 04

  That's the Cedar Fair people. They, I don't think they, they don't have any deaths that I know of.

• 27:15Henry Zebrowski?

  No, no, they don't, but they definitely have a bunch of aging rides.

• 27:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:20Henry Zebrowski?

  Being absolutely just entirely managed by 15 to 16-year-olds.

• 27:25Speaker 04

  Man, the, the one that scares me the most is the, the kid that fell out of the drop ride.

• 27:30Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 27:31Speaker 04

  In Orlando a couple of years ago. That was, that was a lot harder because that was a kid.

• 27:35Henry Zebrowski?

  This is my, this is a shout out to all of you guys, and this is a warning. If you're too big for the ride.

• 27:41Speaker 04

  Don't, you don't need to prove it.

• 27:43Henry Zebrowski?

  Just don't get on the ride.

• 27:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Okay. Cause the man, most deaths of roller coasters, it's true, are human error.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Most deaths involving roller coasters, the, the engineering.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  It snaps in.

• 27:55Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, the engineering is fine largely. Most people die when they, you know, like, how many times do you hear about a guy losing his hat? Jumping over the fence to get in there to fucking go find the hat. He gets hit by somebody coming through. There was that famous story from Six Flags, I think Jersey. Or was it also Georgia? The one where the, the kid kicked the guy's head off.

• 28:14Speaker 04

  I mean, I, I think that one is a, uh, I think that is like a urban legend.

• 28:19Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes, but there's a couple of those. There's a couple of those. But the idea of, uh, just if it doesn't click, you must acquit. If it does not click, you got to get out of the ride. Don't take the ride. I'm not blaming this guy. I'm trying to not blame this guy.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  It's not his fault.

• 28:35Henry Zebrowski?

  It is slightly his fault because he might've insisted, it seems like the latch didn't properly latch. Something happened to cause him to project into the air.

• 28:45Speaker 04

  It was one of those rides where I've been on one of these before.

• 28:48Henry Zebrowski?

  It's just the lap band.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  It's just the lap band.

• 28:50Henry Zebrowski?

  I hate.

• 28:50Speaker 04

  And it goes really crazy. And I, I went on one in, uh, the Orion in Cincinnati.

• 28:55Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes, dude.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  And I was like, I accepted death.

• 28:58Henry Zebrowski?

  You know what it is too? It's not, and I, and I mean this like even seriously. It is not built for men with like barreled chested or bellies.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:08Henry Zebrowski?

  It's really not. It's not those things.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  Loose and jiggle around in there.

• 29:12Henry Zebrowski?

  Because if it's not literally pressing into your organs, like above your waist, this is fat man, I'm saying this is deep fat man concern and lessons here, y'all.

• 29:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, I want to hear from a physicist.

• 29:24Henry Zebrowski?

  This is from a real fat, I want to hear it. The side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. My thing is, is that I think guys don't want to press it in so hard so they either expand while they get it on and then they, then they relax when they get into it. I think some people want to lose the ride.

• 29:39Speaker 04

  Comfortable all the time.

• 29:40Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, as a fat man too, it's not built for the physics of you being, like, I mean it, I'm one. I'm exactly one. 70% of my body weight is from my butt up.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Right? So I am all top-heavy. It is the exact bad thing for the stupid lap band. I'm the, I feel it. I feel me sliding out of it because there's nothing for me to grab onto. Put the fucking shoulder harnesses on. Where are the shoulder harnesses? Everyone should have shoulder harnesses or at least they also have, if you're going to have a lap band, also have a seatbelt.

• 30:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, something. You gotta make sure that you're not getting that out of there.

• 30:17Henry Zebrowski?

  I just feel like.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  Terrified.

• 30:19Henry Zebrowski?

  I, I just also feel like the enshittification of it all is also rampant. We're really seeing nobody's looking at these things. They are cutting staff and cutting staff and cutting staff and cutting regulations. And they're just not checking on the rides enough.

• 30:35Speaker 04

  Also, I want to take this as a moment to remind everyone that they need to change the name to Five Flags. Because one of the flags is the Confederate flag.

• 30:45Henry Zebrowski?

  But they're not going to change it, Eddie, because they love that flag.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 30:48Henry Zebrowski?

  It's one of the flags.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:50Henry Zebrowski?

  So, but they're like, oh, well, unfortunately it's called Six Flags. It's called Six Flags. That's one of the flags.

• 30:56Speaker 04

  You can go ahead and change it to Five Flags. I will here's.

• 30:58Henry Zebrowski?

  I will not. We will not change it to Five Flags. Five Flags are one. That's a Parisian thing. And the Parisians have five ass flags.

• 31:08Speaker 04

  I say you change it to Five Flags or Seven Flags and have the Nazi flag.

• 31:12Henry Zebrowski?

  If you're going to do it, have one and have the other.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  Do it.

• 31:14Henry Zebrowski?

  I'd also say Eight Flags have all the flags, Confederate flag, LGBTQ flag.

• 31:20Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 31:21Henry Zebrowski?

  And Nazi flag. I want all the flags. I want everyone confused.

• 31:24Speaker 04

  Eight flag.

• 31:25Henry Zebrowski?

  Eight flags.

• 31:26Speaker 04

  Yeah. See that? Now we're learning.

• 31:28Henry Zebrowski?

  As long as it's even. That's what I needed to be even otherwise I can't sleep.

• 31:33Speaker 04

  Although seven is lucky.

• 31:34Henry Zebrowski?

  Hmm. Lucky number seven.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  Do you think the lines are gonna be bad for this when it turns back up? Or you think it'll be?

• 31:40Henry Zebrowski?

  The whole thing is, well, right now, we'll see if Six Flags even fucking stays open at this point. They are, they, this is, they've had to shut the whole thing down. You couldn't pay me money to go on a, a fucking roller coaster. It's a Six Flags right now.

• 31:52Speaker 04

  I say this, at this park, here's my prediction. This will stay closed for a week and it'll open back up.

• 31:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, people forget and they already paid money and everybody kinda wants to half die anyway.

• 32:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe they put shoulder straps on it.

• 32:05Speaker 04

  How?

• 32:06Henry Zebrowski?

  It needs to be rebuilt.

• 32:07Speaker 04

  Needs to be rebuilt. But yeah, I would go ahead and say that if it doesn't have shoulder straps, you take that as a lesson to not go on that roller coaster.

• 32:13Henry Zebrowski?

  I'm just not gonna do that anymore.

• 32:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think that one, that's over for me. There was another incident at a, uh, family park. Uh, this happened in, uh, in England, in the beautiful UK, at the Yorkshire Wildlife Park.

• 32:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Yorkshire?

• 32:29Speaker 04

  A, uh, a young man, uh, in his thirties, I believe, jumped into the tiger enclosure and ultied the tiger, killed him.

• 32:39Henry Zebrowski?

  So, it sounds like he is, like, what would you call him? There's some, there's kind of like a bunch of conflicting reports about whether or not, like, what his mentality was.

• 32:50Speaker 04

  No matter what he is, he jumped the fence, two fences, I believe. People holding on to him, trying not to get him to jump over. They jumped off a bridge into the enclosure.

• 33:02Henry Zebrowski?

  So he didn't listen?

• 33:04Speaker 04

  Yes, so.

• 33:04Henry Zebrowski?

  He didn't listen to the advice of others. So you're saying he's obstinate?

• 33:07Speaker 04

  I say whatever his issue is, it's not the tiger's fault.

• 33:12Henry Zebrowski?

  No, and so we have the video, we're not even gonna play it, but it's like, I saw the video of him jumping in and the video of him being mauled by this tiger.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  It kinda stops before the kill.

• 33:24Henry Zebrowski?

  Dude, it's kinda crazy, cuz he really is very casual about it.

• 33:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's like wagging his finger.

• 33:29Henry Zebrowski?

  He's wagging his finger at it. He's, he's, he's profusely bleeding. He's saying, no.

• 33:33Speaker 04

  Even the tiger kinda looks back like, is this guy serious?

• 33:36Henry Zebrowski?

  No, the tiger's, I wanna say the tiger gives him like three opportunities to leave. Like, literally, the tiger's like, what the fuck, bro? Get outta here.

• 33:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, no.

• 33:46Henry Zebrowski?

  Get outta here.

• 33:47Speaker 04

  This is not something, but.

• 33:48Henry Zebrowski?

  He's literally like slapping his leg, going like, go, bruh. He's like, looking at him, being like, I just bit you twice. Don't you wanna go someplace?

• 33:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, also.

• 33:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Cuz he's probably fed.

• 34:00Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 34:00Henry Zebrowski?

  You know what I mean? Like.

• 34:01Speaker 04

  He didn't eat him, he just killed him.

• 34:03Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes, and then also tigers, what you were saying too, if you're gonna jump into any enclosure, the lion enclosure is a little bit easier.

• 34:11Speaker 04

  Well, if you're gonna choose lions or tigers, I would always choose lions.

• 34:14Henry Zebrowski?

  Because they're a little bit lazier.

• 34:16Speaker 04

  They're a little lazier and they're, you know, they're friendlier and sometimes the ladies will stick up for you, but it doesn't matter. You shouldn't be in there. I'm not telling you, anyone to do any of this because it's all stupid.

• 34:26Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, don't go in there.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  Don't go, don't, there is a fence for a reason, um, but shout out to, um, the Yorkshire, uh, Yorkshire Zoo, uh, for not killing the tiger. Um, it does not deserve to be euthanized after someone tried to fight it.

• 34:39Henry Zebrowski?

  I completely agree. I think that it is actually, to be honest, kinda nice that they're not, I mean, I think it's nice that they're not killing the tiger.

• 34:46Speaker 04

  Can I speak like a businessman for two seconds?

• 34:48Henry Zebrowski?

  Please.

• 34:49Speaker 04

  I think it's a draw.

• 34:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Of course.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  This tiger killed somebody.

• 34:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, yeah, and he's.

• 34:53Speaker 04

  Is that the tiger that killed somebody? Yeah.

• 34:55Henry Zebrowski?

  He's Christopher Pike.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  There's gonna be a line around the block.

• 34:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, no, he's free.

• 34:59Speaker 04

  To look at this tiger now.

• 35:00Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, it got, cuz he did it nicely. He was just trying to, like, you just, you came into his home.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:06Henry Zebrowski?

  They're extremely territorial creatures.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, also, um, this tiger is born in the zoo, so it just shows like, it is like, it doesn't matter if they're from the wild or not.

• 35:15Henry Zebrowski?

  It's a tiger.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  It's a fucking tiger.

• 35:17Henry Zebrowski?

  It's, I also feel like there really is a lot of people that have come to believe, cuz he was begging for people to take pictures of him. He was like dancing around and acting like all silly, and so there is a part of me that really does, it's connected back to social media, it's connected back to some form of like legitimately believing he can, he can just reason with the tiger, that he'll go in there and this is just like a funny lark.

• 35:42Speaker 04

  People believe that they're not gonna get hurt or killed.

• 35:46Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, of course.

• 35:47Speaker 04

  People just believe it's not gonna happen to them.

• 35:49Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, it's just some animal, like, they really just think they're gonna go in there and it's almost like they can't, and maybe it's really, there, there's something connected to almost like an AI type psychosis, almost like a thing psychosis where you kinda really believe like everything's almost a video game maybe, or like everything is content that you're watching on your phone and not in real life.

• 36:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know, who needs to hear this, but you're not special.

• 36:11Henry Zebrowski?

  No.

• 36:12Speaker 04

  You're not special.

• 36:12Henry Zebrowski?

  You're just, honestly.

• 36:14Speaker 04

  You're just a bunch of meat.

• 36:15Henry Zebrowski?

  We're disgustingly not unique.

• 36:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:18Henry Zebrowski?

  We're wildly not unique as, as, as an animal. Just remember that, okay? We just figured out that we're separate from other animals and it might be a plus negative for us.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, this isn't good, um, but yeah, so this tiger's just straight up fucking killed this guy and you know what? I'm not saying he deserved it, but.

• 36:37Henry Zebrowski?

  He did. If you jump into a tiger cage, I'm gonna just say that as nicely as possible.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  You're right.

• 36:44Henry Zebrowski?

  You went past people telling you to stop.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  There was barbed wire.

• 36:47Henry Zebrowski?

  There was barbed wire, people were dragging you. This is exactly what this guy wanted.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  This was a really hard cage to get in.

• 36:55Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 36:56Speaker 05

  I think he, he may not have fully understood what he was getting himself into when he jumped over that cage.

• 37:00Speaker 04

  Of course not.

• 37:01Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, he's a fucking moron.

• 37:02Speaker 05

  It does seem like he had some stuff going on.

• 37:04Henry Zebrowski?

  That's what they're saying, they might have some mental health stuff going on. Yeah, sure, but still, everybody's yelling, don't do this, don't do this. You need to, I mean, I don't know what to tell you.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, if you got mental problems, do what a hero does and go break into a school and teach a class.

• 37:20Henry Zebrowski?

  Teach a class and berate the children.

• 37:23Speaker 05

  They're saying he may have wanted to play with the tiger.

• 37:25Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, of course he is. He's a fucking, it doesn't matter, man.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  We all wanna play with tigers.

• 37:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know, I do too.

• 37:30Henry Zebrowski?

  Everybody does.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  A tiger almost killed Roy. Siegfried and Roy Roy.

• 37:35Henry Zebrowski?

  And he had such an intimate relationship with the tiger.

• 37:38Speaker 04

  He kisses the tiger.

• 37:40Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 37:40Speaker 04

  And the tiger still killed him.

• 37:42Henry Zebrowski?

  Killed him.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  Well, didn't kill him, but they tried to kill him.

• 37:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Basically.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:45Henry Zebrowski?

  It fucking ended the show.

• 37:47Speaker 04

  He was never the same.

• 37:48Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 37:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know that much, yes, but, uh, so yeah, don't, don't do that. And, um, I'll tell you what, if you're in Nepal, uh, you gotta look out as well.

• 37:56Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  Because apparently there is.

• 37:58Henry Zebrowski?

  Monkey attacks.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  There's a lot of monkeys.

• 38:00Henry Zebrowski?

  It's a monkey attack.

• 38:06Henry Zebrowski?

  Monkey attacks.

• 38:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, but, um, I don't know what's going on. Nepal is kinda fucked.

• 38:11Henry Zebrowski?

  Nepal gunge, I don't know what the, how you pronounce this.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  So bad for Nepal right now.

• 38:14Henry Zebrowski?

  Was monkey gang attacks are everywhere. And so people, they're running out of hospital beds from people being bit by monkeys.

• 38:20Speaker 04

  Over forty victims have been sent to the hospital because of monkeys have been breaking into people's homes and injuring them inside their own homes.

• 38:28Henry Zebrowski?

  I remember.

• 38:28Speaker 04

  Monkeys were tearing apart a store and the shopkeeper's like, you can't do that, you gotta stop. And then the monkeys all just started attacking the store owner. They haven't killed anybody, but these monkey bites, they fucking, I mean, they're, they hurt.

• 38:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Bad fucking bites, dude.

• 38:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:43Henry Zebrowski?

  I follow, um, a, um, older monkey on social media called Xin Xin.

• 38:48Speaker 04

  Oh, I love him.

• 38:49Henry Zebrowski?

  From China.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  You showed me him and I like him now.

• 38:52Henry Zebrowski?

  The problem with Xin Xin is that he's, Xin Xin is getting aggressive.

• 38:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:56Henry Zebrowski?

  And so there's like an older Chinese woman that has to beat him with a stick, right? Every single time he bites people, but he's been biting people more and more. And they've been talking about how he's biting people more and more, but people wanna come visit him and stuff, but the thing is like Xin Xin doesn't give a fuck. Right? Xin Xin doesn't give a fucking ass, cuz he's got one arm, he only got one arm. And so these people are just keep showing up and he just keeps, he's getting more and more aggressive each time. But they think that they can like teach him by like bopping him on the head with a broom and stuff. I don't think that's helping.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  No, it doesn't make you, when you, when you, hitting a bad monkey doesn't make it a good monkey.

• 39:26Henry Zebrowski?

  I think Xin Xin is gonna kill everybody.

• 39:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, but the thing is, here in Nepal.

• 39:31Henry Zebrowski?

  Cutest little guy.

• 39:32Speaker 04

  They don't really know why this is happening.

• 39:34Henry Zebrowski?

  I think it's cuz monkeys are fucking angry about what we're doing with the fucking, what we're doing, dude.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:39Henry Zebrowski?

  Monkeys are angry. Monkeys talk.

• 39:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean.

• 39:42Henry Zebrowski?

  They're out there, they're talking amongst themselves about us. We're fucking, fucking shit up.

• 39:47Speaker 04

  There's mudslides at Nepal, like, taking out buildings every week now.

• 39:51Henry Zebrowski?

  They know that we did that.

• 39:53Speaker 04

  They know.

• 39:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Because nothing like that's ever happened before. So now the monkeys are talking.

• 39:58Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 39:58Henry Zebrowski?

  And they're like, they're sick of this fucking shit.

• 40:03Henry Zebrowski?

  If I was those monkeys though, they gotta get in a plane, go to fucking Hartford, Connecticut where all the insurance companies are.

• 40:11Henry Zebrowski?

  And they need to be released into the, truly need to be released into the homes of the executives of various health insurance companies and, and environmental companies, and I think that they should be unleashed upon them.

• 40:23Speaker 04

  I'll tell you what, the Hartford show was a lot of fun, but yeah, there's, but no one that lived in Hartford came to the show.

• 40:29Henry Zebrowski?

  There's nobody there.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  There's no one there, apparently.

• 40:31Henry Zebrowski?

  There's nobody there. I walked around for an hour and a half in the rain and there was, I walked into a vape shop in Hartford, Connecticut, and I asked the guy, I was like, is there like a restaurant or a coffee shop I can go to? And the guy looked at me, he's like, restaurant? Nah.

• 40:46Henry Zebrowski?

  I was like, what? I was like, is there nobody, no place I can go to? And he went, he was like, hey, is there a restaurant? And another guy came out, I was like, restaurant? Nah, nah.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Hell nah.

• 40:58Henry Zebrowski?

  In all of Hartford? Not a single restaurant.

• 41:02Speaker 04

  Nothing's open on Sundays.

• 41:03Henry Zebrowski?

  I am going with my cousins to the one Balkan restaurant. And the guy was so excited, he's like, have you ever had Balkan food, my friend? And I was just like, no, I don't, I don't know what it is, you know? And he was just like. No God in Balka. You've never had, you've never had shushlaki? And I was like, no buddy, I've never had shushlaki. And then he brought this thing that was just 10 little poops. Every society, every society has poop meats. I talked about this on the stream, there's always like, you know, there's kafta, there's murgas. There's like all types of like little poopy meats. And the poopy meat, like, cause I'd even call a meatball a poopy meat.

• 41:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I was just looking, I was looking at this, I was like, where?

• 41:45Henry Zebrowski?

  Raw onions and, and little poopy meats.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  I, I was like, in my mind, I'm like, where the fuck is Balka? Or whatever the hell, so I just wrote Balkan is where into Google.

• 41:55Henry Zebrowski?

  Like an idiot. Balkan is where?

• 41:58Speaker 04

  It is really funny. Yeah, and, um, yeah, but it's a lot of places, so, uh, it's fine. Yeah, but yeah, Croatia's in there, so there's that. But yeah, Balkan food does sound delicious.

• 42:08Henry Zebrowski?

  It is really good, honestly, it was delicious. It's just these, what are they, yeah, what are these poop meats called? They're called like chel, chelba.

• 42:15Speaker 04

  Turkish kebabs, these guys are.

• 42:16Henry Zebrowski?

  It was like, but it was called like C E L V D A, it was actually really good.

• 42:20Speaker 04

  Wow, it does just look like shit.

• 42:22Henry Zebrowski?

  It looks like poops, but they're really tasty poops and I eat a lot of poop meats.

• 42:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, lamb is good.

• 42:27Henry Zebrowski?

  I love all the poop meats, I eat, I eat every one. I like all the things that look kind of like, oh, uh, some of these, Rob, are really rough.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  Some of these might just be pictures of shit. I think some of these, I don't know if these are the places Henry went, Rob.

• 42:39Henry Zebrowski?

  No, no, no, I went to a place that was called like Gorgushkenska.

• 42:42Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 42:44Henry Zebrowski?

  The only thing open in Hartford.

• 42:47Henry Zebrowski?

  No God. No God, and we do not believe in God. God was murdered in the revolution. He was shot in the head and his corpse was eaten by the poor. Do you have more gush, gush, gush? It is octopus blood. We stab the octopus in its, in its bartush. And we drain it of its blood and we mix it with the blood of a, of a korku kankush. Which is a squirrel-like creature that we collect. 20 pound squirrel, so strong, fierce, you like it, you pick out some of the teeth. It is filled with teeth, the meat has teeth in it. Dun sleep's very good, it wasn't like that, it was very nice.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  Um, speaking of, uh, towns that we're, uh.

• 43:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, God, we're about to go to, yes.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  We're going to Iowa City, uh, very excited for the show, please get tickets, that's in December. But this man is officially invited and does not have to buy a ticket.

• 43:46Henry Zebrowski?

  I want him to show up at the show, Matthew Dalby. I want you to come to the show, I'm gonna buy you stuff, I'm gonna buy you a fucking drink, I'm gonna buy you a fucking.

• 43:56Speaker 04

  We got merch for you.

• 43:57Henry Zebrowski?

  We got you, we have you set, you're gonna come to our Iowa City show, you are there. Cause we are going to read the same prayer. So, a local pastor then had to reverse the curse, but like, so this guy, Matthew Dalby showed up to this, is five hours south of the Twin Cities, in Otomoa. Right, he began his city council meeting, as it always does, with what they say, they have an invocation from an approved guest.

• 44:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, so basically if you fill out the paperwork, you can be the man who comes and does the prayer.

• 44:27Henry Zebrowski?

  Does the opening prayer.

• 44:28Speaker 04

  And they do all the religions and stuff like that.

• 44:31Henry Zebrowski?

  As they're supposed to.

• 44:31Speaker 04

  As they're supposed to, but this guy, he filled out the paperwork and he got away with a full-on prayer for Satan.

• 44:39Speaker 06

  It's 5:30, calling this meeting to order, we will start with the invocation and the pledge, so those that would like to participate in the invocation, please stand.

• 44:50Speaker 04

  Everyone stands.

• 44:52Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, I can't wait to thank God for giving me a child to have sex with.

• 44:57Speaker 07

  Let us pray. Dear dark father, let us stand now unbowed and unfettered by arcane doctrines born of fearful minds in darkened times. Let us embrace the Luciferian impulse to eat the tree of knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old. Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not their fail to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations. Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true.

• 45:26Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 45:26Speaker 07

  Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of one or all. That which will not bend must break, and that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise. It is done, hail Satan.

• 45:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Fuck yeah, yes, yes, you fuck yeah fucker. That's my fucker, I can't stop this, I don't want to hear this fucking fat asshole talk about this. So, cause like right after the fact, the pastor who couldn't help himself, is like, we've been cursed, we need to reverse the curse.

• 45:58Speaker 04

  We need a moment of silence for the curse.

• 46:01Henry Zebrowski?

  And then the mayor, of course, gave in and said like, you know, we will do that, cause like, the one guy that was, who didn't give a fuck, said like, that's the invocation. One of the guys leading the city council meeting was kind of fine with it, cause he was like, you know, that's the invocation, he's allowed. He made, he filled it out, the paperwork, he can do that, that's what we're supposed to do here. But then, of course, the fucking pussy mayor immediately was like, no, we should have this moment of silence for anybody to wanna sit with their own god and talk about their own feelings with themselves, and it's like, fuck you.

• 46:33Speaker 04

  Also, Dalby filled out the paperwork, he's scheduled to do the invocation again on November 3rd.

• 46:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Fuck yes, fuck yes. I love that motherfucker, yes, seriously dude, I will buy you a meal, that is what we need. I know there's a lot of talk about like, this, this is a problem, guys, we'll always get, like, I don't want to get too heavy today, I don't have the emotional energy. Well, we are, the idea of the satanic panic is more widespread than it has ever been. And I will always say this when it comes to criticizing the church and criticizing all these, like, going to, like,

• 47:12Henry Zebrowski?

  the reason why I do and continue to do that is because we are in a bad church swing. We're in a bad swing towards evangelism and right-wing prop, and right-wing leadership, full-on Christo fascist shit. Somebody has to constantly be needling these people, they have to be. This is not about, yeah, sure, it's edgy Satanism stuff, but someone has to be putting it back in their face.

• 47:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, but the Satanists aren't the dangerous ones.

• 47:45Henry Zebrowski?

  They got, it's just worse. Exactly, and when you look at the people that we are focused on, we are focused, like, the actual people committing the crimes are your local leaders, people destroying the world for the, uh, a fake version of AI that is not gonna happen. Hentic AI is not gonna fucking happen, um, that, all that's fake, them all banning about talking about destroying the world. The guys, uh, the entire Epstein class that rapes people with impunity, all men, all white, older men. Yeah, not a single one, not a drag queen, not a trans person, not any of the things that they love to attack.

• 48:27Henry Zebrowski?

  All these types of things, not a single Satanist on those lists. Not a sing, I mean it, not a single fucking one from my camp has ever fucking raped a kid, okay? At least in the Epstein class, so what I want, so that's why I still get a little angry.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  I'm sure there's been a couple of local guys.

• 48:46Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, of course, that's the bad stuff. And we're not always, Satan doesn't speak for everybody, but.

• 48:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:52Henry Zebrowski?

  It's mostly just the idea that we know where the problem's coming from, y'all.

• 48:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:57Henry Zebrowski?

  And it's, and the more you try to tell me it's not, and the more evidence that comes out that points towards that it is, the more frustrated I get.

• 49:05Speaker 04

  My bishop fucked the altar boys.

• 49:08Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes, my priest fucked all the kids around me.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, and guess what, my bishop is in his 90s, walking around Michigan, Bishop Keith Simons, if you see him, harass him.

• 49:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Throw a fucking bag of hamburgers at him, like literally, fuck that piece of fucking shit, he's just walking around fine.

• 49:24Speaker 04

  Free his whole goddamn life.

• 49:26Henry Zebrowski?

  Walking around fine, so until, again, that's what I keep coming back to, I'm hoping in a couple, maybe even two years from now, some of these guys might get some punishment and then maybe I'll come off of this, I horse. I feel like if I could just see one of these really established pedophiles go to jail, I'll feel a lot better about, uh, not screaming about this every single time it pops up.

• 49:52Speaker 04

  Also, if you do happen to believe in all this god horse shit, Satan's the one that punishes the bad guys, so you should like him.

• 50:00Henry Zebrowski?

  Satan is what keeps you in business. You object if, your hot, your entire belief system is based upon him. Because yeah, just God be a nice doesn't do anything for you, does it? You need the other side, you need Darth Vader, because otherwise the Jedis aren't shit.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, if the Catholics weren't so scared of going to prison or going to hell, they would just commit crimes and murder all the time. Cause it's the only thing that stops them from doing it.

• 50:29Henry Zebrowski?

  They just gotta say, I'm sorry. And they just get to go to heaven, so it doesn't fucking matter, so, or it's a whole thing, so, sorry, we already did this, Eddie, you said we weren't?

• 50:39Speaker 04

  We're not gonna get heavy.

• 50:40Henry Zebrowski?

  We're not gonna get heavy.

• 50:41Speaker 04

  No, we're just praising Satanism.

• 50:42Henry Zebrowski?

  That's all, I just love sweet, sweet Satan, I agree with him.

• 50:46Speaker 04

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• 52:14Speaker 04

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• 52:44Speaker 04

  Oh no, it's my favorite thing in the world. It's Quince. Oh, I look good. I mean, I feel good. You know, it's been a while since I wanted to look at myself in the mirror and Quince really helps me with that. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see myself in that beautiful cashmere Quince sweater. And I think dang, everybody's gonna want this. I better take it off because I love my wife. You gotta get that versatile jacket. You gotta get the perfect T-shirt and you know who's got it? Oh, it's Quince. Quince has got it.

• 53:27Speaker 04

  If you come to one of the shows, you'll probably see me wearing Quince. If you can't guess which part of my clothes are Quince, I'll give you a pinch. That's right. Quince for a pinch here over at Last Podcast on the Left. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. I like the cashmere. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Last Podcast on the Left. It's the best way to support the show. Quince, it makes you look like a prince.

• 54:11Henry Zebrowski?

  Many people think a camera or video doorbell is home security, but the truth is those can only record a break in, but they can't stop one. That's the difference with simply safe. When an intruder steps onto your property, simply saves AI powered cameras detect the threat and alert a live US based agent who intervenes to stop them before they even get to your door. Cause it's not just your house or valuables that you need to be worried about. It's a stranger getting anywhere close to the people that you love. See, I, uh, but the key is, is that we have a lot of things to protect here at the studio. And we use simply safe to safeguard all of the thoughts and words that we record here.

• 54:50Henry Zebrowski?

  And also these wonderful ads, because without simply safe, people would be running into this building attacking me. Not allowing me to read these ads. And thanks to simply safe, I could read this ad for simply safe, which I think is one of the best things they've ever done. And it gives me peace of mind and that allows me to give you a piece of my mind. Join the more than 6 million people who entrust simply safe with their home security. Right now save 60% off with professional monitoring when you visit simply safe.com slash L P O T L. Get simply safe.com slash L P O T L. And when you order, please write in Last Podcast on the Left in the checkout survey.

• 55:33Henry Zebrowski?

  It lets them know we sent you and it really helps support the show. Simply safe ahead of crime in real time.

• 55:44Henry Zebrowski?

  I think that we're at listener letters time.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  Let's do it. Do we have some email? Do we have any new ones, Rob?

• 55:49Henry Zebrowski?

  We do, we have a whole bunch of stingers. I was just looking to see if there was any good ones to pull up. Um, I do have one, this one I think might be for Ed. Let's see, let's see how it is.

• 55:58Speaker 04

  All right.

• 56:09Speaker 04

  Eddie, Henry, I sure hope you got some good ones for us today.

• 56:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Man, that was definitely Mike Patton.

• 56:20Speaker 04

  That was every genre of music.

• 56:22Henry Zebrowski?

  You know what that reminded me? That reminded me, this is actually probably the highest compliment I've ever given a listener email sting. That reminded me of Mr. Bongo.

• 56:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's good.

• 56:31Henry Zebrowski?

  That's actually quite good.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  That was Andrew McCarthy.

• 56:35Henry Zebrowski?

  Um, I wonder if Andrew McCarthy listened to Disco Volante. Cause it sounds like it's a, literally sounds like a track from Disco Volante.

• 56:41Speaker 04

  Send us a follow up email.

• 56:42Henry Zebrowski?

  Andrew McCarthy from Weekend at Bernie's?

• 56:44Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 56:45Henry Zebrowski?

  I don't realize he was that talented.

• 56:46Speaker 04

  No, he is. That is his main talent. Email stingers. God, I watched that stupid Brat Pack documentary that guy made.

• 56:55Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, was it bad?

• 56:56Speaker 04

  Oh my God, it literally is just him trying to convince everyone else in the backpack to talk to him on camera.

• 57:01Henry Zebrowski?

  It's so sad.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  And like half of the, half of the fucking documentary is just him calling people, begging them to be in the documentary.

• 57:08Henry Zebrowski?

  So funny.

• 57:09Speaker 04

  It's so poorly made.

• 57:10Henry Zebrowski?

  I love those things. I love it when it's like that. I love when a documentary is mostly just a guy on a phone.

• 57:18Henry Zebrowski?

  That's when you know it's good. All right, here we go. We got some listener emails and I have got an email for us. So this is just so you know, if you are not big and fat and you don't care about cheesesteaks, just blank out for next like 10 seconds.

• 57:31Speaker 04

  We got, apparently I was talking to Patty's like, since I've been looking over the emails, we've never received so many.

• 57:38Henry Zebrowski?

  We have probably about a good 200 emails about cheesesteaks. When we went off last week.

• 57:43Speaker 04

  I fucking love you.

• 57:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Of course I love you. You guys know, this is what this is about. Okay. We cover the things that are of interest to our people of our society. We talk about conspiracy culture. We talk about UFOs. We talk about, uh, we talk about fucking murder and we talk about cheesesteaks.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  Amen.

• 57:59Henry Zebrowski?

  And that is what we, we do here. All right. So we're covering it all. So there we go. So this one, um, I live right outside of Philly in South Jersey, right across the Walt Whitman. I worked at kitchens 12 years in this area and I've had almost every cheesesteak in the tri-state area.

• 58:16Speaker 04

  Awesome.

• 58:16Henry Zebrowski?

  I wanted to touch up on a few points before I make a recommendation. What makes a good cheesesteak? Number one, the bread.

• 58:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 58:25Henry Zebrowski?

  It doesn't have to come from a specific bakery, but it has to be baked in the Philly, South Jersey area. This is due to the mineral content in the water, causing the bread to take on a different consistency and flavor. Absolutely. It's why the bagels are better in New York and it's why they bring the bagels and stuff. That's like a whole idea and Jersey. And that's why the idea of like in Florida, when you go and they're like real New York water, because they ship it in or whatever. And it's always stupid, right? It's always fake.

• 58:49Speaker 04

  Man, I'll tell you what though, I had the best bagel of my life on this last trip. Do you know where it was?

• 58:53Henry Zebrowski?

  Where?

• 58:53Speaker 04

  White Plains.

• 58:55Henry Zebrowski?

  I've heard a lot of, well, White Plains is still legit.

• 58:57Speaker 04

  I didn't realize that they had good food up there. I realized, I thought they were just all wheat and stuff.

• 59:02Henry Zebrowski?

  No, dude, no, no.

• 59:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was delicious.

• 59:04Henry Zebrowski?

  They're only half wheat.

• 59:05Speaker 04

  That was a damn good bagel. I wish I remembered the name of the place to shout them out, but it was a little spot.

• 59:09Henry Zebrowski?

  I went to L H and H.

• 59:10Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 59:11Henry Zebrowski?

  Like a real.

• 59:12Speaker 04

  I did Bob's when I was in town. That was good. Bagel Bob's, shout out forever.

• 59:16Henry Zebrowski?

  All right. Number two, the meat should be good quality ribeye.

• 59:19Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 59:20Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes. Three, the ratio, they already said that we, you touched on this. Number three, the ratio. There should be little to no dead space on the roll. The entire sandwich should be touched by meat or cheese. Oftentimes you could tell a tourist cheesesteak by the amount of dead space that you will see on the end of the roll. Absolutely. That is a cardinal sin.

• 59:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:40Henry Zebrowski?

  As far as I'm concerned, the idea that there's no meat hanging off the end.

• 59:45Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, no, you should be squeezing out. You should be have to pick some up.

• 59:47Henry Zebrowski?

  I want some labias there.

• 59:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:49Henry Zebrowski?

  I want some little labias in there in my fucking meat each time.

• 59:52Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 59:52Henry Zebrowski?

  No matter what the sandwich is.

• 59:53Speaker 04

  This guy sounds smart.

• 59:55Henry Zebrowski?

  Delicious little labias. Patent Geno's, I'm honestly not surprised. They can't even make a good cheesesteak. Why would I expect them to even act like a cheesesteak spot and stand on business? Interesting.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:00:05Henry Zebrowski?

  Wow.

• 1:00:06Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:00:07Henry Zebrowski?

  Wow. Wow. Recommendations. Here we go. Write these down. Number one, inside Philly. Number one, Phillips. I watched a cashier fight the health inspector once, and then I ordered such an amazing cheesesteak. I bought a second one to come home with.

• 1:00:20Speaker 04

  Amazing.

• 1:00:20Henry Zebrowski?

  Love it. Number two, Ishka Bibles. Number three, De La Sandros.

• 1:00:26Speaker 04

  I've heard of De La Sandros a lot. A lot of people have been mentioning them to me.

• 1:00:29Henry Zebrowski?

  Number four, John's roast pork.

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  Oh, well, yeah.

• 1:00:33Henry Zebrowski?

  Write it down. The roast pork sandwiches. Italian pork sandwiches is what he said specifically. So yes, get the pork sandwich. That's a big sandwich that people miss. I also feel like that's another thing, that's another Chicago thing that people don't talk about. And they talk about the fucking Chicago beef. The Chicago beef is a really important sandwich to have.

• 1:00:48Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:00:49Henry Zebrowski?

  Number five, Woodrow's sandwich shop.

• 1:00:51Speaker 04

  The Italian beef before we get killed.

• 1:00:52Henry Zebrowski?

  Italian beef, thank you. I'm Jesus fucking Christ. I'm, how many rules do I gotta be all over, right? All right. Also, I want to correct myself. It was not, it was not Jim Baker who cried. It was Jimmy Swagger.

• 1:01:04Speaker 04

  Oh, Jimmy Swagger.

• 1:01:05Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, I got that wrong.

• 1:01:06Speaker 04

  I also have a correction that I need to issue for myself. It wasn't 40 years in half, House of Jack built. It was 12 apparently. And you know what? I stand by my statement. I don't think a fucking walk-in safe working for 12 years.

• 1:01:19Henry Zebrowski?

  Unbelievable. I mean, now without a health inspector, now without somebody. I'm with you. I'm here, you can see that. All right. So now here's some South Jersey recs. Winter without, which is a great name.

• 1:01:28Speaker 04

  Oh, it is. Yeah.

• 1:01:28Henry Zebrowski?

  Two, Donkey's Place.

• 1:01:30Speaker 04

  Fuck yeah, dude.

• 1:01:32Henry Zebrowski?

  All right.

• 1:01:34Speaker 04

  Fucking burrowing one of those.

• 1:01:36Henry Zebrowski?

  Number three, they said they have a custom poppy seed Kaiser roll, the cheesesteak is massive. That's very funny, Eddie. Write that.

• 1:01:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Number three, Gold's Burgers, four classy cow food joint.

• 1:01:49Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:01:49Henry Zebrowski?

  And five, this is an interesting take, because I had a really good sub there. I didn't know they made a cheesesteak, the White House subs.

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  Oh, yes, in Atlantic City.

• 1:01:59Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes.

• 1:01:59Speaker 04

  Atlantic City, that's a White House, that restaurant is the only reason to go to Atlantic City.

• 1:02:05Henry Zebrowski?

  Drive into Atlantic City.

• 1:02:07Speaker 04

  Go to White House.

• 1:02:07Henry Zebrowski?

  Go to White House, get the fuck out, get the fuck out of there.

• 1:02:10Speaker 04

  Yes, go to White House, oh my god.

• 1:02:12Henry Zebrowski?

  And so, tell Ed to consider changing his allegiance from gyms.

• 1:02:17Speaker 04

  I'll try some other shit, but I don't think I can change my allegiance.

• 1:02:20Henry Zebrowski?

  Well, he said the quality of the meat and rolls are good, but fuck you on the ratios. And then, you know, because they know that one third in line tourists are gonna wait in line for a cheesesteak. Do yourself a favor, spend that time going anywhere else.

• 1:02:30Speaker 04

  Also, gotta say.

• 1:02:31Henry Zebrowski?

  And so, yeah, hail yourselves, go Birds, and fuck Ice.

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  Seaside Heights, gotta add this to the Jersey contaminant, Steaks Unlimited and Seaside Heights.

• 1:02:42Henry Zebrowski?

  Everyone's saying that unfortunately, the Philly cheesesteak is moving to Southern New Jersey. And that's not me saying this, this is from the emails, okay?

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  The name doesn't change.

• 1:02:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Every single person in the email is talking about how Southern Jersey is the new location for the Philly cheesesteak. Okay, and yes, Philly, if that upsets you, get your ass into fixing the problem.

• 1:03:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:03Henry Zebrowski?

  Okay, if that's the thing that upsets you, be the change you wanna see.

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, I wanna see Pats and Genos show us how much meat's in those fucking buns and stick to it.

• 1:03:11Henry Zebrowski?

  I want them to see this and engage with the criticism and understand that this is bigger than them. This is about them taking the Philly cheesesteak idea and memorializing it in a way for the Philly culture. It's up to you to not fuck your own selves up, my friend.

• 1:03:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is, you know, you've had the, you've been in control for too long. People are gonna come take you.

• 1:03:36Henry Zebrowski?

  And getting lazy.

• 1:03:37Speaker 04

  That's what's happening. And if I ever show up in your line, please don't shit my food.

• 1:03:41Henry Zebrowski?

  Please, absolutely not, I will eat whatever's there, don't worry about it. This is all just because I'm on a microphone, if I am in front of a cheesesteak, it doesn't really matter. You all know me, who's seen me eat, anybody that's in the restaurant industry that has fed me, that has seen me eat, y'all know me.

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  We tip well.

• 1:03:56Henry Zebrowski?

  You know how well I tip, you know I fucking eat everything, you know I fucking, I'm a big old hog, and I spread the word.

• 1:04:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:03Henry Zebrowski?

  I tell other fat men.

• 1:04:04Speaker 04

  He likes the Balkan food.

• 1:04:06Henry Zebrowski?

  I ate the skurshkargask, and I liked it. I ate, it was just a pile of raw onions, ten poops. And then there was a whole thing of this, this specific chili sauce, the sweet chili sauce that they made, they're like,

• 1:04:25Henry Zebrowski?

  and I had it, and honestly, it's fine, it's good.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  I can't wait.

• 1:04:28Henry Zebrowski?

  It's in Thai food already, though.

• 1:04:29Speaker 04

  I've already booked my flight to Balka.

• 1:04:34Henry Zebrowski?

  Here we go.

• 1:04:38Henry Zebrowski?

  I love this guy. I'm a big fan, a board certified urologist.

• 1:04:43Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:04:44Henry Zebrowski?

  I was the guy that was dressed as Richard Chase at the Donner Dinner Party in Atlanta a while back. What's going on? Good to see you, remember that. I remember that, truly. It is not uncommon for venom inoculation to cause erections or preapism, extended erection that won't come down. The chemicals in the venom called prostaglandins serve as signals of pain throughout most of the body, but specifically in the corpus cavernosum. Your body depends on these signals to cause an erection to actually occur. In fact, we use this regularly as a safe self-injected therapy into the penis in men with advanced erectile dysfunction. Jesus Christ. And it does not cause pain if done properly. What, if you hit him on the head with a fucking hammer?

• 1:05:25Speaker 04

  Or reptile dysfunction.

• 1:05:27Henry Zebrowski?

  He didn't hear anything.

• 1:05:29Speaker 04

  I was thinking, I got it, though.

• 1:05:31Henry Zebrowski?

  He didn't hear a single word I said.

• 1:05:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, I heard it works, that's what I heard, I heard the steak spiced shit, your dick gets hard, that's what I heard, am I wrong?

• 1:05:37Henry Zebrowski?

  No, you're right, I'm sorry.

• 1:05:39Speaker 04

  I summarized.

• 1:05:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Interestingly, though, the urologist that discovered this presented at a national meeting for the first time decades ago. And in a well-known incident, he self-injected this agent into his own penis prior to his presentation, at the end of which, he moved out from behind the podium and showed the entire audience his erect penis, proving that it worked for his own severe ED.

• 1:06:09Speaker 04

  Thank god that this happened.

• 1:06:14Henry Zebrowski?

  When I read that, I almost fucking died.

• 1:06:17Speaker 04

  Chicken's done.

• 1:06:18Henry Zebrowski?

  Can you see? And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you're prepared.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  My penis.

• 1:06:24Henry Zebrowski?

  Have you seen the glory of my hot penis?

• 1:06:31Speaker 04

  It's science!

• 1:06:33Henry Zebrowski?

  And you know, just like, five guys whose penis has not worked in like 10 years just stood up and just,

• 1:06:41Henry Zebrowski?

  bravery, bravery!

• 1:06:43Speaker 04

  Bill Nye used to have some fucking balls, man.

• 1:06:50Henry Zebrowski?

  I wished I was Bill Nye, oh, he's so fucking amazing.

• 1:06:54Speaker 04

  Bill Nye, the erection guy.

• 1:06:56Henry Zebrowski?

  I have also, this is more of a serious thing, and I'm just gonna bring this up, because I bring it up every once in a while. And we've done little presentations on it, and I didn't really get into it when we were doing the Satanism series, because I was gonna do a little bit on this, but I wanted to do a little bit of a PSA about 764. And I wanna just talk about this real quick.

• 1:07:12Speaker 04

  I don't know what it is, so please.

• 1:07:14Henry Zebrowski?

  So this is connected to Jim Thornton. So this is the idea of Jim Thornton being in these chat rooms. That there's a lot of these chat rooms, because now we saw that Brayden, fucking,

• 1:07:25Speaker 04

  Clubicula?

• 1:07:26Henry Zebrowski?

  He was also a part of these, what are pro-suicide chat rooms.

• 1:07:30Speaker 04

  Oh, yes, no, he's a real piece of shit.

• 1:07:32Henry Zebrowski?

  So he's a part of these pro-suicide chat rooms, so there's all these little chat rooms now, kind of like the way we grew up on the internet. But they're weaponized by social pressure, so, and it's, they're all stemming from this group called the Order of the Nine Angles, which I have been researching for a long time, that are a proto-military, right-wing, fake Satanist group out of the UK. Their leader's currently in jail. They infiltrated the UK military with guys that literally believe that they're gonna summon the devil in the world, like summon this ancient demon and the world.

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

  That's crazy, man.

• 1:08:11Henry Zebrowski?

  Fucking right. If you told me that, I'd be like, man, fucking whatever, dude, that's fucking crazy, man.

• 1:08:20Henry Zebrowski?

  You wanna go get some grishkrosch? You know, you sound like uni, man, some grushkargask.

• 1:08:25Speaker 04

  I've had grushkargask for breakfast.

• 1:08:27Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, then we gotta go up to, I know this great afternoon grushkargask guy, you gotta go check him out. So, I wanted to get in touch after hearing about Jim Thornton on Side Stories, because the bit about lifeline and suicide prevention reminded me of something that happened to my daughter recently. I think this would be a good PSA for listeners who have kids. I ask you to keep my name anonymous, right? It's a long story.

• 1:08:50Speaker 04

  No problem, Bill.

• 1:08:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, no problem, lady. Let you find your address! This is a very sad story, I'm sorry. It's a long story, a lot of details, but the gist is that my six-year-old daughter had a boyfriend whom we forbade her from seeing last year after finding out he was pressuring her for nudes and a spate of other emotional, physical abuse. I had initial gut feelings about him, I gave him the benefit of the doubt because we knew he was from a troubled home and wanted to be supportive adults in his life.

• 1:09:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, and we all know if you tell the kid you can't see him, then that just draws him to him.

• 1:09:21Henry Zebrowski?

  Nothing that makes him go together faster. Fast forward to about a month ago, FBI contacted me and my husband because they wanted to interview our daughter regarding this boy's online activity. They informed us that he was tied to some 764 groups, which essentially exist to extort kids for videos of self-harm or other violent activity for online clout and general societal disruption. When we talked to our daughter about it, she told us that she had seen these Discord groups on her boyfriend's phone, and he told her that they were groups where people who had been abused would send their self-harm photos to the Discord groups along with their abuser's information, and the groups would then dox, swat these people.

• 1:10:01Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:10:03Henry Zebrowski?

  Hearing about Jim Thornton claiming to be on a website to support suicidal people reminded me of this, a shitty person masquerading as altruistic. She was so infatuated with this boy that she wanted to believe his lies even though she really knew better. Thankfully, our daughter is thriving now after cutting him out of her life and having plenty of therapy, but obviously, I feel like a horrible mom for not catching these things sooner. Despite being a huge true crime nerd and knowing that the internet is dangerous, I had no idea these groups exist and how far they can permeate. And it's true, it's all over, all of these things, it's all over Roblox, it's all over Discord. And the problem is, is that I do think there needs to be a place where people can just be people.

• 1:10:44Henry Zebrowski?

  Like, I really do believe in non-censorship of the internet, because I think it leads to bad things. I think the idea that, like, anywhere, unfortunately, where illegal information is being distributed, it's also the place where banned information would be distributed, especially if the government goes south.

• 1:11:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:04Henry Zebrowski?

  Right, so the same platforms that you would use to distribute things like CSAM and stuff like this also would be the backdoor ways that people would talk if the government went fascist.

• 1:11:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, and where the government could show public executions, maybe.

• 1:11:17Henry Zebrowski?

  And that's where they wanna go, because that's like, that my big thing with the public execution stuff is that I don't know if they're gonna find a streamer or anybody that's gonna, willing to put it on their pipes. I don't think anybody is going to be into being a part of this scenario. It's different than a UFC fight on the lawn. It is the idea of being a part of this new, who, I don't know, maybe I'm, maybe I think too highly of computer programmers and some of these streamers, I don't know. But I feel like they're not gonna wanna be associated with doing it, but I don't know, maybe I'm, maybe I'm a naive child.

• 1:11:50Speaker 04

  Well, see, HBO and Paramount just merged, could be there.

• 1:11:54Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, can't wait for Skydance! Skydance, yay, I love that, I'm dancing in the sky! But 764 is real, it's really hard, I think that if I was a parent, I know that we would live in almost Russian-style,

• 1:12:13Henry Zebrowski?

  where I would know every single thing that was on their phone, I would go through every one of the apps, I would go through all of that stuff. It does teach them to hide better, but I also think you should make it really hard for them. I feel like we just have to make sure we create the.

• 1:12:27Henry Zebrowski?

  No matter what you do, I feel like it's super important to remember to make sure the kid understands that this meat space is actually the primary existence. If this thing, I think that what do you call it in Elephant Graveyard? He called it like regular or or normal reality, whatever the thing is like that this thing, this life that we're walking around is the primary reality.

• 1:12:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:12:47Henry Zebrowski?

  And we need to serve this reality.

• 1:12:49Speaker 04

  They're trying to manipulate everybody.

• 1:12:52Henry Zebrowski?

  Of course, and so they're going for kids, they're going, they're going for vulnerable adults, they're going for people who are suicidal, they're going for people with eating disorders, they're going with people because they're all-

• 1:13:02Speaker 04

  They prey on desperation.

• 1:13:03Henry Zebrowski?

  They're preying on this, and the 764 thing is this gigantic exploitation ring and blackmail ring, and it's very easy for kids to fall into it. It's just easy because it's like in Poltergeist, we're like, they're Peter as another child. And they say things only a child can understand. They like, because there is something to that. There is a, they're weaponizing against kids, so. I'm sorry, everybody, we all have to keep our heads in a swivel as a society.

• 1:13:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:32Henry Zebrowski?

  And it's gonna get more complicated every fucking week. So just know that, so live every day, understanding the rules are shifting. Love the fact that the rules are shifting, we're gonna learn new rules, and we're gonna laugh our way to the bank when we smoke ourselves asleep every single night.

• 1:13:50Speaker 04

  We love you guys very much.

• 1:13:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Love you, I do, we love you, and nothing makes me realize I love you more than when we go do live shows. I'm not even joking, like, going to see you guys doing live shows, how cool was it, Rob, to see the crowd and have them fucking yell at you?

• 1:14:03Speaker 04

  It was a pep rally.

• 1:14:04Henry Zebrowski?

  It was amazing, something I'll never forget. You know, like, them being able to do that, like, you know, we all danced to-

• 1:14:10Speaker 04

  Oh my god, we played-

• 1:14:12Henry Zebrowski?

  Choosing Texas.

• 1:14:13Speaker 04

  Choosing Texas, there was some Epstein stuff.

• 1:14:15Henry Zebrowski?

  It was just fun.

• 1:14:16Speaker 04

  It was a lot of fun, I had such a good time, but you wanna come see us? We're on the road, on October 24th, we're doing Side Stories again for the third year in a row at the Mateo Community Center in Redway, California, that's Humboldt, but this year we're doing something different. Yes, there will be a costume contest, yes, we are bringing prizes, but the thing that we're doing different is we are not taking any money this year, we are giving it back to the Mateo Center and the Humboldt County Growers Alliance, we were gonna help that county, we're gonna help you guys keep growing your sweet, sweet weed, we love you so much.

• 1:14:49Henry Zebrowski?

  We love you and we want you to be able, we want that sweet, sweet weed.

• 1:14:52Speaker 04

  So come on out and support the show, you'll be giving back to the community for this particular show.

• 1:14:57Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, and sadly, big update.

• 1:14:59Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:15:00Henry Zebrowski?

  Kefie D, 40 years to life.

• 1:15:02Speaker 04

  Forty years to life.

• 1:15:03Henry Zebrowski?

  Yep.

• 1:15:04Speaker 04

  That's it for him.

• 1:15:05Henry Zebrowski?

  Yep, he's done.

• 1:15:06Speaker 04

  That's it, well, you know, don't write a book about it.

• 1:15:08Henry Zebrowski?

  Don't tell everybody about your crimes.

• 1:15:11Speaker 04

  Yes, the day after the show at Humboldt, I'm gonna be at San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club, I'm gonna be co-headlining with Billy Wayne Davis, hosted by Holden McNeely, it's gonna be very interesting, come check that out.

• 1:15:23Henry Zebrowski?

  Has he ever hosted before?

• 1:15:25Speaker 04

  I've had him host for me once before, it's fine. But yeah, it's an experience, come check it out, it's gonna be a blast. Our Portland main show on November 14th is sold out, sorry about that, there are low tickets for the following day in Burlington, so come out to that, there's a low-ticket announcement for that, on December 3rd at the Ice House in Pasadena, Ed Larson and Friends, hosted by Henry Zebrowski.

• 1:15:51Henry Zebrowski?

  Yeah, baby.

• 1:15:52Speaker 04

  Come on out to that, that's gonna be a blast, we got Pat Barker, who's our researcher, he has-

• 1:15:57Henry Zebrowski?

  Dude, he's fucking very funny, too.

• 1:15:59Speaker 04

  That's an amazing comedian, that's how I know him, that's how I met him, so please come check that out.

• 1:16:03Henry Zebrowski?

  He's so funny.

• 1:16:04Speaker 04

  Billy Wayne Davis is on that as well, and the wonderful Carmen Legala.

• 1:16:07Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh wow, Carmen Legala's gonna be on this show.

• 1:16:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's visiting, I was just talking to her, and so, yeah.

• 1:16:13Henry Zebrowski?

  Oh, that's great, and also, truly, if you're in the LA area and you've never been to the Ice House, it's a legendary-

• 1:16:21Speaker 04

  I've never been.

• 1:16:22Henry Zebrowski?

  No, I'm really excited too, I haven't either, I haven't either, it is a legendary club, it's one of those fun things that you just like, we're trying to remember, because like, when we were in New York, we went to the Blue Note, and like, we went to all these places, like, old school flavor, and I just, we gotta have it, LA.

• 1:16:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:39Henry Zebrowski?

  We gotta, and just like I was yelling about the cheesesteaks, we gotta do it for our fucking selves, dude.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  Goddamn right, so yeah, so that's something I'm gonna be doing, I'll let you guys know, but every other month, I'm gonna do an Ed Larson and Friends, somewhere in the city, so come check those out, keep your ears peeled from them, Iowa City on December 11th, Columbia, Missouri, December 12th, that's for Side Stories, the very next night, I'm going to the Helium in St. Louis with my buddy Logan Metz, we're gonna have a blast out there, that's gonna be on December 13th, and then go to eddytunes.com to find out where else I'm gonna be next year in 2027, Nashville, Rochester, Albany, and of course, the wonderful Crime Wave at Sea.

• 1:17:15Henry Zebrowski?

  Yes, come and join us on the waves, it is really good, remember, you can get those tickets all layaway, and that's actually, I feel like the payment plan is actually kinda nice.

• 1:17:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, we're getting close, so you better fucking hurry up.

• 1:17:26Henry Zebrowski?

  We're getting close, but please come, please, it's so much fun, it's basically sold out, there's like one or two of our tickets left.

• 1:17:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, so yeah, come on with it, we love you guys, we're gonna have a blast, every time I do a show on the road and I meet people, they're like, I'm going to the cruise, so it's gonna be a fucking blast, so get your ass out there.

• 1:17:42Henry Zebrowski?

  Alright, fuckers, hail Sweet Satan, and you know I mean it.

• 1:17:46Speaker 04

  Yes, you do, you should do, and hail, um-

• 1:17:49Henry Zebrowski?

  Hail this guy right here, man.

• 1:17:50Speaker 04

  Hail RJ Metz.

• 1:17:52Henry Zebrowski?

  RJ Metz, that is extremely fucking sad, man.

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  He was a-

• 1:17:56Henry Zebrowski?

  That was extremely, extremely sad, and also-

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  Truly talented.

• 1:17:58Henry Zebrowski?

  I also wanna give a shout out to somebody that is actually, you know, because we've had the same manager for years, and we've been around her for a really long time, and she's somebody I've known for a really long time, Grace Helbig.

• 1:18:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:11Henry Zebrowski?

  Just found out that her breast cancer that she had beat moved to her brain.

• 1:18:16Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 1:18:17Henry Zebrowski?

  And so she's going through, so if you can go and support her in any way, I just think that, I, I saw that, and that was like one of those-

• 1:18:24Speaker 04

  She's like the sweetest person in the world.

• 1:18:26Henry Zebrowski?

  A really good person, a really genuinely good person.

• 1:18:28Speaker 04

  She's been nothing but kind, and I don't know why she was ever nice to me.

• 1:18:32Henry Zebrowski?

  It is just, and so, that was one of those that made me really fucking emotional, and also, go check out Mindy Tucker's podcast, in which she completely destroyed Eddie and I.

• 1:18:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're gonna be on it separately, and she made us both cry.

• 1:18:47Henry Zebrowski?

  It was just not-

• 1:18:48Speaker 04

  Maybe not on camera, but it both, it happened to both of us.

• 1:18:50Henry Zebrowski?

  I legitimately don't even know if it's gonna be entertaining or not, it is literally so, um, soul, it was very soul, it was very deep, soul-driven conversation.

• 1:19:03Speaker 04

  But she is the premier photographer of all comedy in New York City.

• 1:19:07Henry Zebrowski?

  She's the only person that, she's the only person that knows our entire comedic history.

• 1:19:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:13Henry Zebrowski?

  Besides ourselves, like, she was there for Murder Fest days, she was there for the Creek days, she was there for the beginning of it all, she took pictures of the first ever Roundtable Live show, like, it's like all these pictures that were extremely emotional to see, and we go through them one by one, and so, to really kinda hear a little bit of a window of kind of where we came from, and, you know, the community that we were around, go check it out.

• 1:19:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, and we hired-

• 1:19:36Henry Zebrowski?

  I'll post it when it's up, it's set up, for, I think it's like next month or whatever.

• 1:19:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, and we hired her to shoot the Warsaw, the sold out Warsaw show, so, look around for those pictures coming out.

• 1:19:46Henry Zebrowski?

  We'll post them.

• 1:19:47Speaker 04

  Alright, guys.

• 1:19:48Henry Zebrowski?

  Alright, fuckers.

• 1:19:49Speaker 05

  Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie, one thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. For decades, Angie's helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust, find a pro for your project at Angie.com. Friday on NBC, it's an all-new season of Happy's Place, they're the best crew bar none. So what exactly were you going for here? The greatest drink in the history of the world. It is not that. Then it's a brand-new comedy with T. A. Leoni, Tim Daly, and very special guest star Jamie Lee Curtis. You married a stranger? Are you even compatible? Is he after your money?

• 1:20:34Speaker 05

  I don't have any money. Newlyweds premieres Friday on NBC.