Pod Insights Last Podcast On The Left Side Stories: How to Leave The Mormon Church w/ Alyssa Grenfell About this episode Henry & Eddie bring you a very special episode of Side Stories this week as the boys are joined by Author & Ex-Mormon Influencer Alyssa Grenfell to discuss breaking out from the clutches of Mormonism, the realities of living as an Ex-Mo, Henry slips into some traditional Mormon undies, AND MORE as we expose the forbidden secrets of Mormonism!
Transcript 14,125 words · 8 speakers
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0:55 Speaker 02 There's no place to escape to. This is the last. On the left.
1:01 Speaker 03 Side stories?
1:03 Speaker 02 That's when the cannibalism started.
1:06 Speaker 03 Side stories. Yes.
1:16 Speaker 03 Mormon alert. That's right, we have a full-on white Mormon alert. Mormon alert.
1:26 Speaker 03 You know, as much as we've talked about Mormons on this show, I still feel like I know nothing.
1:31 Speaker 04 But that's why, slowly but surely, we're educating you. Welcome to Side Stories. Sitting here with Ed Larson, who is immune to the charms of the Mormon church.
1:42 Speaker 03 I don't like them.
1:42 Speaker 04 He can't be bought by them. It doesn't matter.
1:45 Speaker 03 Fuck soda.
1:46 Speaker 04 Seriously, he doesn't like soda. He can't have it anymore.
1:49 Speaker 03 Yeah, seltzer's, I'm all seltzer now.
1:51 Speaker 04 Yeah, he doesn't, he can't even do it.
1:52 Speaker 03 I don't want your syrups. I don't want your ice cream.
1:55 Speaker 04 But we like coffee.
1:56 Speaker 03 I love coffee.
1:57 Speaker 04 And that's the thing, that's what's nice to do it in defiance of them. My name is Henry Zebrowski. I am the opposite of a Mormon.
2:03 Speaker 03 But today we just-
2:04 Speaker 04 That's the total opposite.
2:06 Speaker 03 You're still-
2:06 Speaker 04 Well, I'm white.
2:07 Speaker 03 You're still white.
2:07 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'm still a white man.
2:08 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's still pretty, honestly, pretty great for me. And this, today, we did, we, we're doing a full guest episode because we, I met this person through Natalie, as they were doing Someplace Underneath. Uh, they are an expert because they have, they were deeply involved in the Mormon church. They got themselves out of the Mormon church. She went and wrote a book called How to Leave the Mormon Church, which is one of the, it's a great manual-
2:36 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:37 Speaker 04 -for helping people, because what she realized, this, this influencer, I'd say influencer, presenter, she has a YouTube channel, Alyssa Grenfell, but she realized that Mormons were coming out of the church and being dropped into this modern world with no guide-
2:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:55 Speaker 04 -at all. So, that's why she wrote this, to help people get out of the Mormon church. We talked with her about a bunch of the secrets. She brought some Mormon underwear in here.
3:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that I didn't know was a thing.
3:08 Speaker 04 Man, it's kinda sexy.
3:09 Speaker 03 What do you mean it's sexy?
3:11 Speaker 04 If you get all wet.
3:12 Speaker 03 Oh, yes, because it's white.
3:13 Speaker 04 Then you get to see-
3:14 Speaker 03 And you can see through it.
3:15 Speaker 04 Yeah, we get it, we go through all of this. The audience is gonna love how sexual the conversation gets. I do, I tried some of it, you're gonna see, I'm not gonna wanna spoil it.
3:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:25 Speaker 04 Uh, she is Alyssa D. Grenfell on TikTok. That's A-L-Y-S-S-A-D-G-R-E-N-F-E-L-L. That's where she prints her stuff, she's also on YouTube.
3:37 Speaker 03 That's right, how to leave the Mormon church is way more difficult than just follow the sign that says exit.
3:42 Speaker 04 Yeah, because guess what, they cover the signs.
3:44 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:44 Speaker 04 They do.
3:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:45 Speaker 04 Can't get out. So, please listen to our long-form interview of Alyssa Grenfell.
3:50 Speaker 03 You're gonna enjoy this.
3:51 Speaker 04 You fucking better.
3:54 Speaker 04 Oh, we're rolling, oh great. Okay. Well, we have a very special guest today, somebody that is like, truly in the world of- In the world of religions, right, there's not many, there's not a lot of room for talkback. Right? They don't want you to do it. They don't want you to do it. And it's funny, I find it interesting that of all the religions, besides Scientology, if you want to call it that, that has such a deep core of people willing to talk about the church. It is the Mormon people, like especially after the fact, even from within it, as we were just talking. And what we have today is a truly very, very smart lady. Love this book, which is How to Leave the Mormon Church.
4:35 Speaker 04 And it is extremely interesting. I love the fact that you focus on actual practical things that people need. And we'll get into all of that. You also have a YouTube channel that is just under your name, right? Alyssa Grenfell. And we're here with author, host, ex-mo, Alyssa Grenfell.
4:53 Speaker 05 Thank you for having me.
4:54 Speaker 04 And I'm also here with Ed Larson, he's sitting right here.
4:56 Speaker 03 How you doing? Yeah, no, I'm basically just hanging out. This is a conversation between you two and I'm just here to make sure Henry doesn't attack you.
5:02 Speaker 04 No, I'll never do that. I'll never do that. I love Mormonity. I love the Mormonity of it all.
5:10 Speaker 03 So if you're an ex-mo, do you know any ex Larry or Curly's?
5:15 Speaker 04 Don't do, I'm sorry Alyssa. Do you, do you want to leave?
5:21 Speaker 05 Uh, you know, I feel like I'm the butt of an inside joke or something. I don't know what that is.
5:26 Speaker 03 Oh, it's the Three Stooges. I'm too old.
5:28 Speaker 05 Oh, was he Mormon?
5:30 Speaker 03 No, no, no, he's a Larry Curly and Bo.
5:33 Speaker 04 You literally sandbagged the whole thing at the very fucking top.
5:38 Speaker 03 Hey, I think it's good. I'm an escaped Catholic.
5:41 Speaker 05 Okay.
5:42 Speaker 03 You know, I was an escaped Catholic. I went to Catholic school for a while and I got out of there just as it started getting hairy. And now I'm, what are you now? What would you call yourself now?
5:51 Speaker 05 Uh, I'm an atheist.
5:53 Speaker 03 Hell, yeah.
5:54 Speaker 04 Full on?
5:54 Speaker 05 Full, yeah.
5:55 Speaker 03 Isn't it true, we're number three now atheists in America?
5:59 Speaker 04 If you call it a group, it's getting there.
6:01 Speaker 05 Or ex-religious or secular, yeah. A lot of people don't like to claim atheism.
6:05 Speaker 03 Cause they're assholes.
6:06 Speaker 05 Very unpopular.
6:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most atheists are pricks.
6:09 Speaker 04 They can be, they can be, but mostly just because they're mad at fake God, like we all are. Now, when you got out, yeah, how long? You've been out for long, well, like five years now, right?
6:19 Speaker 05 Ten years.
6:20 Speaker 04 Fully ten years?
6:21 Speaker 03 Alright, good.
6:21 Speaker 04 How long was it from the first thought of getting out to getting out?
6:27 Speaker 05 You know, it's really hard because you have so many thoughts about getting out, but you suppress them so hard. That kind of, once I was willing to admit it to myself, I feel like I'd kind of questioned my whole life.
6:39 Speaker 03 Sure.
6:40 Speaker 05 But I was probably, it was probably not till I was about 23, till I was like, allowing myself to be honest about it.
6:46 Speaker 03 Fuck yeah. Good for you.
6:47 Speaker 04 Do you know like, what was the big thing? Like, what was, it was like, what was the straw that broke the camel's back? I know you've talked about how it was obviously a long process of just being a lady in the Mormon church.
7:00 Speaker 05 Yeah. Yeah.
7:01 Speaker 04 And is it, is it just that? Like, what was the final?
7:05 Speaker 05 Yeah. My questioning really started with not believing in God versus not believing in the Mormon church.
7:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
7:11 Speaker 05 So it kind of was like, taking it all the way to the bottom. And then once I stopped believing in God, then it was like, well, fuck Joseph Smith, you know, like.
7:19 Speaker 04 Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:20 Speaker 03 Cause he's talking about God. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense.
7:23 Speaker 04 Well, I was just, it just happened.
7:25 Speaker 03 Might as well believe in Zeus.
7:26 Speaker 04 Oh, very much so. I just had a, I went down a little bit of a rabbit hole with this, this horrific fucker named Nathan Larson, who killed himself.
7:32 Speaker 03 Hey, careful.
7:33 Speaker 04 I'm sorry, you know, it's same, same, spelled the same way, too.
7:37 Speaker 04 And he put up Joseph Smith, uh, he wrote this manifesto, and he put up Joseph Smith as like, one of the heroes of white supremacy. He said in his manifesto, he was celebrating Joseph Smith by how, because of how hateful he was, and how he was gonna try to change the United States government to be more like the Mormon church.
8:00 Speaker 05 Yeah, Joseph Smith tried to run for president. I mean, and he, basically the reason that the Mormons kept getting kicked out everywhere they went was because they would try to consolidate political power, and because of child brides.
8:12 Speaker 04 And the child brides are like, the child brides in the end, that kind of, that always comes to seem to me like, and also the child brides.
8:19 Speaker 05 It kind of rises to the top, but.
8:21 Speaker 04 It doesn't though, unfortunately. I feel like it's always the very, it's all just like, huh. They're trying to fuck with the voting systems and taxes. And sometimes they have sex with the child, that's fine. But it's really just the taxes.
8:35 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's real, yeah, it's really the governmental power. Um, yeah, the reason they kept getting kicked out is because he kept trying to make himself the leader of the militia and the leader of the town and the leader of the bank. And like literally every position of power was unilaterally held by Joseph Smith.
8:54 Speaker 03 Sounds like a fake name. Sounds like he just made up the name. He's like, ah, Joe Smith.
8:59 Speaker 04 He does. He's a grifter. He's a grifter and a grave robber. Do we see that same thing now? Like, like in the end of like, do, how different is the modern Mormon church to the old Mormon church?
9:13 Speaker 05 I mean, there's a, at least on the governmental level, if you go to Utah, you'll feel like it's the same. Because every, both the senators, all of the congresspeople and the governor are all still Mormon. So it's like still a theocracy. Um, and a lot of the laws are still controlled by Mormon, you know, temperance, basically. Um, but I mean, they don't allow publicly, at least the child brides anymore. So, or polygamy, though they still do believe in polygamy, so.
9:40 Speaker 04 So how does that work? Like, so they, so it's all the books. You get more than one wife. Yeah, I know, I know.
9:47 Speaker 04 It sounds hard.
9:50 Speaker 04 My question is, is how does it work? How is the, well, we believe in it, but we don't practice at work?
9:57 Speaker 05 So basically, they had to give it up to become part of the United States when they were just a territory. And, uh, now it's still in the scripture. So in the doctrine and covenants, it still says, polygamy is a-okay. Um, it's basically like, we believe in it, but because the laws of the land prohibit it, we honor and sustain the laws of the land. Which, which is why after they banned it in Utah, they set up colonies in Canada and Mexico to keep doing polygamy, which is where Mitt Romney is from.
10:28 Speaker 04 Oh, he, I, he seems Mexican.
10:33 Speaker 04 There's something about him.
10:35 Speaker 05 Yeah, fair. I don't know if I see it.
10:37 Speaker 04 It's just something. It's his hardworking, honest.
10:40 Speaker 03 Now, as far as horrible sons of bitches go, Mitt Romney seems like he's almost fine. Is that true? Am I completely off base by thinking that?
10:49 Speaker 05 Yeah, the political spectrum of Mormon men, Mitt Romney is on the better side of that.
10:54 Speaker 03 Okay.
10:54 Speaker 04 But how much is that their new savviness of the 2020s versus an actual, like, belief system? Like, in your mind, because the Mormon church, I think that they're savvy. They're actually weirdly like-
11:10 Speaker 05 They're very adaptive.
11:11 Speaker 04 Yes, they understand-
11:13 Speaker 05 They'd rather adapt than stick to their guns, which is why, you know, polygamy, they got rid of the black ban from blacks, black people holding the priesthood.
11:20 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:21 Speaker 05 They get rid of stuff all the time to modernize.
11:24 Speaker 04 And then in these days, but like, then how do they rectify it with it? Now, like, when they talk to you guys about the old, like, the old days, like, how do they frame it? Like, do they frame, like, when they make those big sweeping changes? Like, what is it they say from the inside?
11:39 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's a doctrine called continuing revelation.
11:42 Speaker 04 Okay.
11:43 Speaker 05 That says that the current prophet can override and give new revelation versus like the previous prophets. So it's not that the old prophet was wrong so much as that the new prophet has new information, basically.
11:55 Speaker 04 Ah, yes, and now that he's refining the science, like L. Ron Hubbard, he's refining it.
12:01 Speaker 03 So, all right, so the end of the world, they, how many people? 130,000 people? What is the number?
12:06 Speaker 05 That's Jehovah's Witnesses.
12:07 Speaker 03 Oh, Jehovah's Witness.
12:08 Speaker 04 Well, isn't it in Mormonism? It is the same number. They use the number. But isn't that number supposed to be, like, the idea that that's the amount of Mormons that will be left to lead the end world, like the 140,000?
12:22 Speaker 05 You know, they do believe in the Book of Revelation, but I didn't really grow up hearing that number, ever. So, yeah, I mean, I'm sure if you were to go back, and maybe this is just like the continuing revelation of it all, that I never heard this, because if I talk to a woman or anyone who was Mormon who is like 50 or like, you know, older than me, they'll give me all this random doctrine that I'm like, fuck, I never heard that. So- There's a like, I'm not gonna, I can't deny that that might be a thing because it's changed so much. And they used to have a lot more like crazy end times doctrine that they would teach that they've kind of moved away from.
12:58 Speaker 04 Do you is that and that as a as a whole, because like someone said that when we were doing the Chad Daybell Lori Valos like series. They said that you'd find that within every Mormon enclave, there's like a couple of crazy people.
13:12 Speaker 05 Definitely. Yeah, more than a couple.
13:13 Speaker 04 Did you have like, do you have an example of that?
13:16 Speaker 05 Yeah, like, um, I especially when I I have moved around a lot, but I used to live in Montana. And I feel like in my congregation in Montana, it was very prepper-y. Tons of like really obsessed with guns, really obsessed with food storage.
13:31 Speaker 04 Well, it's a part, isn't it a tenet of the religion too to prep?
13:35 Speaker 05 Yeah, and that's why people are so confused by Mormonism or Mormons, like meeting Mormons. Because you can meet like a botox Mormon who is like a lady with a boob job and they all want to have a pool in a boat. And then in the same ward congregation, there's like the prepper Mormon who that they don't let their kids wear makeup or like they, you know.
13:53 Speaker 03 Yeah, you could say that inside of a Catholic church as well.
13:55 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's like what part they fixate on.
13:58 Speaker 04 But with Catholic church, it's like all the social stuff is supposed to kind of be to the side. You only get into involved because you're forced to by all the guilt of the societal like pressing on you.
14:09 Speaker 03 You know, I agree, but I also want a bunker.
14:12 Speaker 04 Of course. Yeah, bunker should not be, bunker should not just be for the corrupt.
14:18 Speaker 05 Yeah, no, I mean, the the end of the world is coming, so.
14:22 Speaker 04 Well, can I ask?
14:22 Speaker 03 We're also gonna play poker with my dogs.
14:24 Speaker 04 Yeah, I mean, I don't know, you gotta teach your other, be like, that's not how you bluff. That's not how you fucking bluff. Are you getting every time you get a good hand, I shoot tail wagging.
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17:13 Speaker 06 Oh, look. You just got added to a meeting. About coordinating another meeting. To prepare for the pre-meeting. Ahead of the follow-up meeting. Which will, of course. Require a recap meeting. And then, another meeting. Hit your booking point? Book with Southwest and enter airplane mode.
17:40 Speaker 07 Live from Northland.
17:42 Speaker 04 Why does the Mormon church save all this money for the end of the world?
17:47 Speaker 05 You know, Jesus really loves USD.
17:51 Speaker 04 Why?
17:51 Speaker 07 Well, because Jesus came to America.
17:53 Speaker 04 I guess, so the Mormon church is holding on to something like a hundred billion dollars?
17:57 Speaker 05 More, yeah, it's like three hundred, probably.
17:59 Speaker 04 Damn! And they use it in their, in their funny little Mormon way, they say those little terms and phrases, and they said it was for a rainy day.
18:06 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's our rainy day fund.
18:07 Speaker 03 Is that because of Noah? Is that like, is that like something to do with Noah?
18:11 Speaker 04 But what does that, what does a rainy day mean?
18:16 Speaker 05 You know, I do, in Mormonism, and every religion seems to have like different interpretations of the end times, Mormonism, uh, the, the belief is that Jesus will renew the earth and things are gonna be really good, but before they're really good, like shit's gonna hit the fan.
18:30 Speaker 04 Tribulations.
18:31 Speaker 05 Uh, yeah, so my guess in their mind is they're saving it for the tribulations. Like, there's another prophecy that at some point, the constitution will hang by a thread, this is from Joseph Smith.
18:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:42 Speaker 05 And that the Mormon people will step in and save the constitution and save like God and, and America or whatever.
18:48 Speaker 03 Well, I think I do if money isn't real anymore. The end's the end of the world.
18:52 Speaker 04 Gonna be hard. But do you feel like, that's what I've heard, right? So, that's like a dog whistle.
18:57 Speaker 05 Mm-hmm.
18:57 Speaker 04 Right? The hanging by a thread term? Like, there was some, somebody used it. I forgot who it was, I think it was-
19:04 Speaker 05 Probably Lori, yeah, Chad DeLa and Lori Vallow.
19:07 Speaker 04 Yes.
19:07 Speaker 05 Like, that, that's the type of Mormonism they're, they were really into.
19:11 Speaker 04 Because it seems that her father, Lori Vallow's father was a heavy prepper, and he said the same thing, like, apparently they started hardcore when some guy in the government said hanging by a thread on- Television and then he said, we are not, we're ready to go. That's the Mormon signal.
19:26 Speaker 05 Yeah. Yeah. I found this, there's this YouTuber that is like a Mormon prepper. And he has this spreadsheet, this Google Sheets thing with like, it has like 200 tabs. And in each tab, they're, they're basically tracking all of the metrics that Mormon leaders have said are like signs of the end of the world. And every time I've gone back to it like so many times and there's always like, you know, you can see how many editors there are. There's always like unlimited editors.
19:52 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
19:54 Speaker 03 Basically the religion is just becoming what the people say it is.
19:58 Speaker 05 Yeah, at least like the, you know, the church could very well like tamp down on this like kind of extremist sect or like branch.
20:06 Speaker 03 Well, those are the people that give the most money.
20:08 Speaker 04 Well, no, though, because unfortunately in the Mormon church, like the theology has a built in sort of franchisee like thing. Where if you make a strong enough claim to be your own prophet, you can spin your own church off the main Mormon body. And it's still Mormon capital M.
20:28 Speaker 05 Mormonism, Mormonism. Yeah. Like, um, I mean Chad Daybell is an example of that.
20:34 Speaker 04 Warren Jeffs.
20:34 Speaker 05 The Laffertys, Warren Jeffs, FLDS, like most of these sects, there's one called the Order. I mean, there's some that are polygamists, some that are, you know, um, some that are like three people, some that are a hundred. Like Mormonism, because it's built on prophets, it's very easy to claim prophetic authority.
20:52 Speaker 04 Yeah.
20:52 Speaker 05 Cause you just say it.
20:54 Speaker 04 Cause it's, to me, it kind of feels like, like joking, but like, it kind of feels like when you bluff in poker where it's about timing. It's about like, okay, like what's this number from, trust me, I just watched a documentary series.
21:05 Speaker 05 Sam Bateman.
21:06 Speaker 04 About Sam Bateman. And it seems it's like, okay, it's like he waited for a little bit.
21:12 Speaker 05 Yeah, wait for the power vacuum.
21:14 Speaker 04 And then you're like, I'm the prophet now. And then like, you just have to wait properly.
21:19 Speaker 05 Yeah. And wait till people are kind of like, what do we do next? That are like, you know, or if the, like the FLDS, the reason they became like more well known is because everybody, Wilford Woodruff is the one that said, we're not doing polygamy anymore. And then they were like, well, that's a sign. He's a fallen prophet.
21:34 Speaker 04 Sure.
21:35 Speaker 05 So they wait till there's like a fallen prophet moment. And then some new dude is like charismatic and just like, oh, I mean, it's me now.
21:43 Speaker 03 So the leaders just basically. Call it. Like, I call it. I'm it. I'm the guy.
21:48 Speaker 04 It does seem like it. And when they're setting up that family, like, what exactly is the benefit of being a sister wife? What is it? Besides just getting all that fucking primo dick?
22:06 Speaker 04 All that delicious, delicious-
22:07 Speaker 03 Her wife came in here and told you to be nice to her.
22:09 Speaker 04 I'm just saying-
22:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, Natalie came down and said, "Be nice to her."
22:13 Speaker 04 I'm just saying, we all can imagine just getting that, ooh, Sam Bateman's delicious tiny hands.
22:20 Speaker 05 With his white leather jacket.
22:22 Speaker 04 Ooh, god, he's cool. He's so disgusting. God, he's so cool and he's so fast!
22:26 Speaker 05 But he's got all those, I mean, he has like seven Bentleys. It's like, clearly, you know, he figured out something.
22:31 Speaker 04 Well, you know, he's just taking money from them.
22:32 Speaker 05 Yeah, he's figured out how to manipulate people. But, I mean, from a sister wife perspective, I do feel like if someone tells you your salvation is dependent on doing fucking anything, if you believe them, you'll do whatever. Like, I mean, that's like the premise of cults. So I think the sister wife thing is the same, where it's like, they're born into it, they believe it fully, and they believe that if they don't, that they're going to hell.
22:56 Speaker 03 You ever tried to get someone out? Like, explain to them, "Listen, this is all wrong. I'm out. My life's so much better now."
23:02 Speaker 05 Yeah, to Mormons, yes, but not to FLDS or like polygamous people. They don't even talk to you.
23:07 Speaker 03 Okay.
23:08 Speaker 04 I mean, that Trust Me documentary was so fascinating, watching her slow, like, having to literally deprogram them, to even get them to the point-
23:16 Speaker 05 Yeah.
23:17 Speaker 04 Where they're even willing to acknowledge that, "I don't want to be raped anymore."
23:20 Speaker 05 Yeah. And, I mean, especially the scene where they're in the car, the two girls trying to get Sam Bateman out of jail, and they're like, "I have never been happier in my entire life. This is exactly where I want to be, and we're basically actually celebrities. I believe that I..." Like, they're saying, "I believe that I am the most important person on the planet right now." Like, he thinks that the, you know, Queen of England is gonna come hang out with them, like-
23:43 Speaker 04 That shit's so funny. Well, that's a part of, like, and I've said this, you're lovely, but I've said this even before about the Mormon ego. How there's like, almost this feeling of that, because it- It's like, he does play on that for them, isn't it? Like, I realize that they like the feeling of-
23:59 Speaker 05 The first wife feeling.
24:01 Speaker 04 They're powerful.
24:02 Speaker 05 The chosen wife feeling, yeah.
24:03 Speaker 04 You know, because they're a part of a new, cool, basically, the new hip Mormon school.
24:11 Speaker 05 Yeah, like, if you walk out, you know, if you walk out in a, like, I think that's, yeah, the, the, like, be, a, being able to, like, rise up in a cult or in a religion is like a power trip, because you're like, look how excellent I am, because I'm already in the truest religion on earth. And now I'm in high leadership in the truest religion on, you know.
24:28 Speaker 04 Because there are people like you, where you were so nervous. It made, felt like this burden, like, the need to be a perfect Mormon. To you, seemed like, feel like this tremendous burden, and it seems it's those that think, oh, actually, this makes me closer to God, I like this. It serves another purpose.
24:47 Speaker 05 Yeah, and I think I had probably both experiences, like, both emotional experiences at different points.
24:52 Speaker 04 Yeah.
24:53 Speaker 05 Where, like, I went on a mission, um, I-
24:58 Speaker 04 Where'd you go?
24:58 Speaker 05 To fucking Colorado.
25:00 Speaker 04 Okay, that's good, that's good.
25:01 Speaker 05 My husband went to Sweden, so-
25:03 Speaker 04 That's cool. But don't they, isn't there like a thing with where you go? Isn't there like, uh, an insinuation, kinda like, not anything, like, they kinda tell you, like-
25:12 Speaker 03 They tell you it's special, but it's a ping pong ball out of a fucking thing.
25:15 Speaker 04 But no, it's like, my buddy Don was Mormon growing up, he definitely, but because he could speak Spanish fluently, they sent him to South America.
25:22 Speaker 05 They, you submit a whole application, and if you had, like, say that I had a parent who served in a certain place, they might be like, oh, we'll, we'll send you to that same place. Or if you learned Japanese in high school, okay, we'll send you to Japan. Um, or often it is like, literally just racial profile, profiling, like, if you are black and you are in, living in America, they'll send you to Africa. Um, cause you'll have an easier time converting people-
25:47 Speaker 04 Sure.
25:47 Speaker 05 Because you look like the people, so Asian Mormons, they'll send to Asia, even if they're like-
25:54 Speaker 04 As American as they can be, yeah.
25:56 Speaker 05 Basically, still just from America, from Utah.
25:58 Speaker 03 Christianity has taken over Africa, and like, it's not like, it was definitely white people who did that.
26:04 Speaker 05 Yeah, true.
26:06 Speaker 04 The Dutch, and now, and then, well, now the Chinese are turning it into a gigantic cobalt mine.
26:10 Speaker 05 They'll usually do, they'll pair someone who is of the ethnicity of the country with a white person.
26:16 Speaker 04 Interesting.
26:16 Speaker 05 So it like, gets them almost into the door, but then also introduces like, this cool American religion.
26:21 Speaker 03 If you told me you were from Colorado, I believe you.
26:24 Speaker 04 Yeah.
26:25 Speaker 05 Yeah, or Utah. I mean.
26:27 Speaker 04 You have a Colorado vibe, but that's better than a Utah vibe.
26:30 Speaker 05 I'll take, it's the nose ring.
26:31 Speaker 04 It is.
26:33 Speaker 03 Could you ski? Is that why they sent you? They're like, she'll be great on the slopes.
26:36 Speaker 04 She loves, she loves going down there.
26:37 Speaker 05 No, so the reason I think I was sent to Colorado is because I disclosed mental health issues. And if you disclose mental health issues, you're seen almost like as a flight risk where they don't want to waste a ticket to Europe on you.
26:51 Speaker 04 Oh.
26:52 Speaker 05 And maybe you'll be sent home early.
26:53 Speaker 04 Fascinating.
26:54 Speaker 05 So, I mean, this is like, most of this is like what people, you know.
26:58 Speaker 04 Assume.
26:59 Speaker 05 The word on the street, you know, there's no handbook that says this, but.
27:02 Speaker 04 They were right.
27:04 Speaker 05 Yeah, they definitely.
27:07 Speaker 04 They nailed it, yeah.
27:09 Speaker 05 Yeah, so if I had not disclosed that, or like, another funny thing is only women are in the Temple Square Mission in Utah, because it's like a honeypot situation. So if you go walk through Temple Square, you'll only see like very beautiful young women.
27:25 Speaker 04 I noticed that. It's like very beautiful, like blonde, blue eyed.
27:30 Speaker 05 None of the elders.
27:31 Speaker 04 Yeah.
27:32 Speaker 05 They don't let the stinky boys go.
27:34 Speaker 04 No, no, because I hate the boys. The boys are gross.
27:37 Speaker 05 Yep, most people feel that way.
27:38 Speaker 03 Elders, because they're always walking around with backpacks on.
27:41 Speaker 05 And they just got done biking.
27:42 Speaker 04 Always. I have this idea. This happened to me the other day. They came to my door, Alyssa. I took all of my strength to not heretic them, because our home, as you can imagine.
27:53 Speaker 03 Filled with devils.
27:54 Speaker 04 Our whole home is filled with devils.
27:56 Speaker 03 You as a devil?
27:57 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just devils all over. I just wanted to be like, yes.
28:00 Speaker 05 Come inside.
28:00 Speaker 04 Excellent, yes, here we go, enjoy, yeah. Have a cup of coffee.
28:07 Speaker 04 Is there anything you miss?
28:09 Speaker 03 The book.
28:11 Speaker 05 The Book of Mormon? I did bring one.
28:13 Speaker 04 Oh, nice. Did you steal it from a hotel? Yeah, good.
28:16 Speaker 05 No, this is my, well, did I bring it? Okay, here it is. I wanted to give this to you.
28:21 Speaker 04 Oh, that's so sweet of you.
28:23 Speaker 05 I wrote my testimony in the front, just kidding.
28:25 Speaker 04 Oh, my God.
28:28 Speaker 05 This was all an elaborate ruse. I'm still Mormon.
28:32 Speaker 03 Wow, you got me, I'm in. That's the most effective sales pitch I've ever seen.
28:37 Speaker 04 Honestly, but is there anything, is there anything you're like, oh, fuck, like?
28:41 Speaker 05 That I miss? Um, you know, I think mostly, uh, when you leave a religion like the Mormon church, you're never going to be able to like replicate the sense of community because I'm kind of an orphan now from, like I'll never be able to be as integrated into a social group as I was into the Mormon, like Mormon church.
29:03 Speaker 03 I'm an atheist, I think you're great.
29:08 Speaker 05 And my family hates me now, so I mean.
29:11 Speaker 03 They probably would have anyway.
29:13 Speaker 05 So I maybe I miss my family.
29:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
29:15 Speaker 03 See, here's the thing, they, if you would have stayed, they still would have hated you, but they would have been currently abusing you as well.
29:21 Speaker 04 Yep.
29:22 Speaker 03 And so like, they would have disguised it as love.
29:25 Speaker 05 Yeah.
29:25 Speaker 03 And so you made the right choice.
29:26 Speaker 05 Very conditional love, but like when you, you know, I mean, I still miss like, I, I wish I could still walk into a room and say what I'm feeling around my family. You know, not that I ever like fully could, but I felt like I could at least more than I do now.
29:40 Speaker 03 When's the last time you talked to them?
29:41 Speaker 05 Um, like a month ago.
29:43 Speaker 03 Okay.
29:44 Speaker 05 You know, so it's very cordial. We don't, and you know, I know that they hate that I'm doing all of this and especially I brought the temple clothes today.
29:53 Speaker 03 Oh no, we're good. I want to try some on.
29:55 Speaker 05 That's the most heretical thing I do. So I think that that specifically is what has made them the most frustrated.
30:02 Speaker 04 They gotta see it though. Like it's for, like honestly, we're fucking curious. Sorry, the rest of us are super fucking curious. You, uh, don't have secret underwear then. If you don't want me to know about it, then don't have it.
30:16 Speaker 03 Just call it underwear.
30:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:18 Speaker 03 As soon as you say secret underwear.
30:19 Speaker 04 Now I'm definitely naked about it. What was like, would you say the biggest cultural like hurdles you hit when you left? Like, what was the hardest part to kind of like, that's why I loved what you did with your book. I love the fact that you helped kind of be like, here's a couple of things that'll help you not be as weird. When you get in the public, like, when you get out amongst us.
30:45 Speaker 05 I would say like, um, Mormonism gives you so many rules that then when you leave, this is a big problem with a lot of ex Mormons is it's like, feels like there's no rules. So, um, I would say like, trying to adapt to, okay, I want to try drinking, but I literally have no context for this. I haven't grown up seeing drinking in movies even. I haven't seen my parents do it. Like, whether it's that or any other substances, uh, immodesty or like, you know, I never wore a tank top before, like, it's like-
31:16 Speaker 04 That's wild too. That's immodest, right? Like, it's any inch of skin.
31:20 Speaker 05 Yeah, any showing your shoulders, short shorts, like, so I think, I think like, figuring out the balance between like, doing what always feels very radical, like drinking coffee feels very radical.
31:31 Speaker 04 Is the Celsius allowed?
31:33 Speaker 05 No. Well, uh, so it is now because they kind of got rid of the caffeine rule. But when I was a kid, I couldn't have caffeine.
31:39 Speaker 04 Yes, this one of the big changes, because Rob brought this up before the show, is with the dirty sodas.
31:44 Speaker 05 Yes.
31:45 Speaker 04 And that was when Eddie was very-
31:46 Speaker 03 What's a dirty soda?
31:47 Speaker 04 Eddie wanted to know what a dirty soda was. You don't think you do. This is kind of like me, isn't it? Describe to him what a dirty soda is.
31:54 Speaker 05 Yeah, it sounds kind of gross, but it's basically, and Sonic, Sonic has already been doing stuff like this. So it's kind of a rip off of Sonic, but, um-
32:02 Speaker 04 Aren't they kind of a Mormon company?
32:04 Speaker 05 So Sonic?
32:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:05 Speaker 05 I don't think Sonic is, but Swig-
32:07 Speaker 04 I thought that.
32:08 Speaker 05 Swig is the, uh, main dirty soda company, but it's usually like, any soda with like a creamer. So they'll put like half and half into their soda, or coffee creamer.
32:19 Speaker 04 It's so gross.
32:19 Speaker 03 Sounds good.
32:20 Speaker 04 It's not Eddie, it's gross.
32:21 Speaker 05 Or like, they'll do like the pumps of the Italian soda pumps type stuff, like, any mix in, and then like lime or-
32:29 Speaker 03 Italian, some vanilla Coke got invented.
32:30 Speaker 04 Dude, you should try it. It's so sweet. It's so gross. It's like vanilla ice cream. Sometimes in your soda, kinda.
32:36 Speaker 03 That's cool. That's a float.
32:38 Speaker 05 That's a root beer float. Yeah.
32:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, but these are all products.
32:40 Speaker 05 I mean, it's just.
32:43 Speaker 05 I feel like that it like gives me a stomach ache, but I'm also not like a huge soda drinker. So I mean.
32:48 Speaker 03 It's not as bad as like a rum and coke. Still not, it's not that dirty.
32:51 Speaker 05 I prefer a rum and coke.
32:55 Speaker 04 Do you find that now, like, that the world seems to kind of be cracking open about Mormonism and understanding like, are they having a hard time keeping people in?
33:06 Speaker 05 So apparently from a recent study, I think, I've heard different stats, but I've heard 40% of people my age and younger leave. I've heard 50%. It's hard to know because like.
33:18 Speaker 04 They have to be hitting on a young person problem.
33:21 Speaker 05 Yeah, I think they definitely are.
33:22 Speaker 03 They don't want to do anything.
33:24 Speaker 05 There's a subreddit called Mormon shrivel. That has like every time a church building goes up for sale, people post it on there and. Yeah, I mean, I definitely think they're shrinking and maybe that's why they are now changing other rules. Like they changed the rule about tattoos and piercings.
33:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:40 Speaker 04 That's so you fucking weak bitches. You're so fucking weak.
33:44 Speaker 03 Well, they stopped getting their money, dude. They stopped getting their fucking income. So they gotta bend some rules.
33:49 Speaker 04 Fucking Catholic church doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, Pope Leo, he's talking about anti-AI, but he still hates gay people and he doesn't give a fuck. That's a fucking, they got, that's a cult with a spy. That's what they need to get going. But like, that must be, cause it's really kind of all zipping out now. It's like. So this actually probably puts us into a really fun, good way to start this, which is I find it interesting that your parents think that you talking about the temple garments is the most like, like. The horrific thing that you do. Why?
34:23 Speaker 05 Um, because the temple is like the most secretive part of Mormonism. Um, I know that probably for, you know, you all, like you just Google it and you'd see the things online and you'd be like, oh, that's what it is. But like for within the religion or like it feels like a cult when you start talking about the temple, it's like a very well protected secret. Like I didn't know anything about the temple until I went through it myself and I would even have, um, you know, friends in high school because I grew up outside of Utah. They'd try to. They'd be like, watch this YouTube video. And I'd be like, I knew, I was like, no, this, that's sacred. Like. So whether it's like the secret handshakes or the apron or like the the words that you know, the secret words that you learn.
35:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, there's like certain things you have to say.
35:07 Speaker 05 Like a passcode.
35:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, and there's like a you don't know, doesn't somebody stick like their hand through the curtain and then you go through the whole thing? And you did the whole thing, right?
35:16 Speaker 03 It must be the most boring secret handshake of all time.
35:19 Speaker 05 Unfortunately, yeah. I wish it was like some like.
35:21 Speaker 03 You guys hold pancakes.
35:23 Speaker 04 Can you tell me what it is?
35:24 Speaker 05 Which well, which hand there are four handshakes.
35:26 Speaker 04 What's the what's the first handshake?
35:28 Speaker 05 So the first handshake.
35:30 Speaker 04 Here, give it to Eddie, give it to Eddie.
35:31 Speaker 05 Okay, the first handshake is you put you both put your thumb on like the yeah, right there, so like right on the knuckle.
35:37 Speaker 03 Okay.
35:38 Speaker 04 Okay, so that's the first one.
35:39 Speaker 05 And then the second one is the valley of the knuckle.
35:41 Speaker 04 Valley of the knuckle, which is what I normally call that the vagina of the knuckle. Continue, I'm just saying.
35:48 Speaker 05 Um, and then the next one, you would go like this.
35:52 Speaker 03 Okay.
35:52 Speaker 05 And I would do that to you.
35:53 Speaker 04 Well, okay, then you pinch the hand.
35:56 Speaker 03 No, that's that's we do me and Julie, we do that to each other. We squeeze this little meat right here, it feels good.
36:01 Speaker 04 It is really nice. Where did all that shit fucking? I know that everything was stolen from masonry and all that kind of stuff. Do they?
36:08 Speaker 05 But we didn't, oh, we didn't do the most fun hand.
36:10 Speaker 04 No, please, please.
36:10 Speaker 05 The fourth one, you do that with your pinkies and then do this and then like that.
36:15 Speaker 04 What, like tickle?
36:16 Speaker 05 You know, well, no, yeah, like that.
36:19 Speaker 04 This one's actually kind of cool.
36:20 Speaker 05 That's the patriarchal grip.
36:21 Speaker 04 I feel like, you know, I.
36:22 Speaker 03 We're gonna start doing that.
36:23 Speaker 04 Hold you off a mountain. Yeah, I want to do that. Yeah, I want to do that with you.
36:27 Speaker 03 Go ahead. All right, so we do this in here and here, and then you put this here, and there we go.
36:32 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's awesome.
36:33 Speaker 05 You're getting in.
36:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, actually, it makes me feel strong.
36:36 Speaker 04 I do feel it, master. It feels gender edifying.
36:41 Speaker 04 When we do that, though, like, what do they tell you that is?
36:45 Speaker 05 So it's in the temple, they say it's the signs and tokens that you will present to the angels who stand as sentinels in the celestial kingdom.
36:53 Speaker 04 Got it.
36:53 Speaker 05 The highest level of heaven.
36:54 Speaker 04 Which is interesting because it's very similar to what the Buddhists do with the bardo, with this idea of like, physicalizing this idea of you have to there are certain steps you're gonna have to go through in order to get through, and it's very like one to one. It's not allegorical. It is the thing you're go- you're gonna meet an angel. And so that's what they're saying, right? Is that when you die, this is gonna be the same setup, but it's gonna be in heaven.
37:18 Speaker 05 Yes, and there's also, so there's the handshakes and then there's the words you have to know. So I like got a new, it's called a new name, which a lot of religions.
37:28 Speaker 05 I wish there was some Latin, that would be kinda fun.
37:30 Speaker 04 Is it just made up, is it names, or is it actual made up words?
37:33 Speaker 05 So it's names from the Bible, which is
37:37 Speaker 05 which is so funny because, um, they're supposed to be from the Bible, but there's like way more men in the Bible than women. So, um, men.
37:51 Speaker 05 So, uh, like the men's names are all things like Adam or Michael, like these like, you know, awesome, like the very main characters of the Bible and the women will be like, abish, like.
38:03 Speaker 04 Esther, Estherman.
38:07 Speaker 04 It's all bad names, yeah.
38:08 Speaker 03 Grimlock, you know Grimlock.
38:10 Speaker 04 And when you went through it, did you feel anything?
38:12 Speaker 05 Uh, mostly afraid. Um, because it gets built up so much in your mind as like literally the most important thing that will ever happen to you.
38:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
38:23 Speaker 05 Um, you're endowed with power on high and after you go through the ceremony and you get past the angels, that's like the ceremony that is basically your pre-entrance ceremony to becoming a god.
38:35 Speaker 04 Fascinating.
38:36 Speaker 05 So.
38:36 Speaker 04 And then what do you do after that? You go go like get hamburgers and stuff? Like do you go do all this and say like, okay, you just became a god. Let's go, let's go to McDonald's.
38:45 Speaker 05 It's more like a god in utero.
38:47 Speaker 04 Oh, got it, got it, got it. And then you just go off and live a life?
38:50 Speaker 05 Yeah, I mean, then you are supposed to keep your covenants, so you make all these promises in the temple, your covenants, and then the rest of your life is kind of the test to prove you can keep the temple covenants. And you used to have to promise to kill yourself if you, yeah, that's, I mean, I didn't have to promise to kill myself.
39:05 Speaker 04 So you got out. Yeah, and that's where.
39:07 Speaker 05 Which is why I can talk about.
39:09 Speaker 04 That's why we got their fucking asses in a fucking sling. God, you're fucked, you got you, God. I got you fucking God.
39:16 Speaker 03 Man, I can't believe there's levels to heaven. Go fuck yourself.
39:19 Speaker 05 I know.
39:20 Speaker 03 Like, yeah, you're saying if I don't, if I die poor, you probably, you don't, is it based on money?
39:25 Speaker 05 It's not, no.
39:26 Speaker 04 Platinum, diamond.
39:27 Speaker 05 It's not socioeconomic, yeah, it's not based on like your net worth at the time of death.
39:33 Speaker 04 But they do like a rich Mormon.
39:34 Speaker 05 They love a rich Mormon. Yeah. And they are always the ones who get like promoted into the higher levels of leadership. But yeah, we would go to the telestial kingdom. Cause you guys are atheists.
39:46 Speaker 04 Yes.
39:47 Speaker 03 Well, he's Satanist, even worse.
39:49 Speaker 05 Okay. Yeah. Well, so there's.
39:51 Speaker 04 Change me.
39:54 Speaker 04 Trying to fix me.
39:56 Speaker 05 So even Satanists would still go to the same level.
39:58 Speaker 04 Oh wow.
39:58 Speaker 05 Unfortunately, I wish there was a better, cooler level for you for being a Satanist.
40:02 Speaker 04 No, I like, ah, honestly, it's be hell in and of itself. Don't bring me to Mormon heaven. I don't want to go. So.
40:10 Speaker 03 Salt Lake City was nice.
40:12 Speaker 04 Salt Lake City's fine.
40:14 Speaker 05 Well, Salt Lake too is so weird because you have the church HQ, but that's also like the most secular city in Utah. So there's like a huge counterculture where you can go, there's like this barber shop where they have the the temple symbols on the barber shop is like the logo, which is also like very heretical, but like there's a lot of like temple middle fingers around or like.
40:34 Speaker 04 Everywhere.
40:35 Speaker 05 A bar called Water Witch, which is like what Joseph Smith was. So.
40:39 Speaker 04 SLC has got the single of all of the places I've been to, one of the most intense alt scenes I have.
40:45 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, our fanbase is hilarious out there.
40:48 Speaker 05 That's because the ex Mormon thing, because like, you know, it's like the pendulum, you kind of become like more, you're like, let me, let me go the opposite direction. I'm going to do all the drugs. I'm going to need all the tattoos.
40:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
40:59 Speaker 05 I'm going to be a Satanist and fuck all of this.
41:01 Speaker 04 It's so much fun. You got to great.
41:07 Speaker 06 Oh, look. You just got added to a meeting about coordinating another meeting to prepare for the pre-meeting ahead of the follow-up meeting, which will, of course, require a recap meeting. And then another meeting. Hit your booking point. Book with Southwest and enter airplane mode.
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42:21 Speaker 04 Okay, so we're here. You have brought some temple garments.
42:25 Speaker 05 Yes.
42:25 Speaker 04 I'd love to at least look at them.
42:27 Speaker 05 Okay.
42:27 Speaker 04 Because the only time I've ever seen them is in, I'm gonna be uncouth here, okay? There's a series of documentary films. There's a series of documentary films on the internet called Mormon Girls with a Z.
42:40 Speaker 05 Yes, I'm familiar.
42:41 Speaker 04 Now, that is the only way I've seen these before. So, please, let's unsex these for me.
42:50 Speaker 05 Impossible.
42:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, because that's the thing, is that they seem kind of like, like, they are very lacy.
42:56 Speaker 03 Okay.
42:57 Speaker 05 Okay, so I have a lot here.
42:59 Speaker 04 Yeah, how often you wear these?
43:00 Speaker 03 It's like a Mormon burka.
43:02 Speaker 05 Mostly just, okay, so here's the, I have here the underwear and the temple robes. Kind of separate things, but this is the underwear.
43:10 Speaker 04 All right, so now the underwear, for those of you who don't know, they're not watching this. I will describe it. I have one pair of boxer briefs that are like this. It's a long-legged boxer brief.
43:19 Speaker 03 I like a long-legged boxer brief.
43:20 Speaker 04 I don't, they ride up.
43:22 Speaker 03 They do.
43:22 Speaker 05 Well, yeah, sometimes it's like, nice because you don't have the thigh chafing.
43:26 Speaker 04 I guess that's true. Now, does that go on with no underwear with that on?
43:30 Speaker 05 Correct.
43:31 Speaker 04 So that's first layer.
43:32 Speaker 05 So this is your bottom underwear.
43:34 Speaker 03 It is a little loose.
43:35 Speaker 04 As a man.
43:36 Speaker 05 A man and woman.
43:37 Speaker 04 Oh, so women also have the same? You have little panty ones?
43:39 Speaker 05 These are women's underwear.
43:41 Speaker 04 Oh, okay.
43:41 Speaker 03 So men and women wear the same underwear?
43:43 Speaker 05 Basically.
43:44 Speaker 04 So women aren't wearing underwear? They are.
43:47 Speaker 05 They're wearing this as underwear.
43:48 Speaker 04 Yeah, I guess, yes.
43:49 Speaker 03 They're not wearing panties.
43:51 Speaker 05 It's almost like a Spanx thing, like, you know, uh... But also, so then they also have the symbols, so if you see, they have like that little stitch there.
43:59 Speaker 04 Yes.
43:59 Speaker 05 That's part of the temple ceremony.
44:01 Speaker 04 Oh, got it, okay.
44:01 Speaker 05 So, and then they come in different, like, fabrics, too.
44:04 Speaker 04 So, but they're always white.
44:06 Speaker 05 Yes.
44:06 Speaker 04 They're always white. Now...
44:07 Speaker 03 Gotta hit that H.
44:08 Speaker 05 I'll put it on the clown's face.
44:09 Speaker 04 White, they're white. My question is, is what does one do with, I'm gonna say the Mormon men, from what I've seen, I'm just gonna make a call. I think they're a skid-marked group of men. I think that there was a group of men.
44:23 Speaker 03 It's a lot of fast food.
44:25 Speaker 04 I feel like if there was a group of men that would leave skid marks, it would be the Mormon men. How are we getting these stains out?
44:33 Speaker 03 I'm gonna say the Baptists are worse.
44:35 Speaker 05 Hmm.
44:37 Speaker 04 Can you speak to experience?
44:39 Speaker 05 Uh, you know, I can't speak to the experience of if Mormon men generally get skid marks.
44:46 Speaker 04 Because it has to be a thing. Definitely. SidestoriesLPLTL at gmail dot com. That has to be a fucking thing.
44:53 Speaker 03 I'm afraid we're gonna have to get a new Mormon expert.
44:57 Speaker 05 Yeah, you might need a dude for that one.
45:02 Speaker 04 No way.
45:03 Speaker 03 He's wiping right.
45:04 Speaker 05 Yeah, I mean, I can't speak to that. I can't speak to being a sister wife. I'm not being very helpful.
45:09 Speaker 04 And so, Wilson, so they got the men.
45:10 Speaker 05 Uh, so this is the top.
45:11 Speaker 04 So you wear this every day?
45:14 Speaker 05 Every day, day and night.
45:15 Speaker 03 Under your clothes.
45:16 Speaker 04 Under your clothes. Now, do, when you wear these as well, like, do you have to, how many pairs of these do you have?
45:22 Speaker 05 Um, and like, same as normal underwear.
45:25 Speaker 04 Got it.
45:25 Speaker 05 Yeah. So, and then...
45:26 Speaker 03 So you change it every day?
45:27 Speaker 04 So it's not like you can only have one set?
45:31 Speaker 03 No, it's not disgusting.
45:32 Speaker 05 No, that would be hilarious.
45:33 Speaker 04 I just thought it was just like, one set, and then you should wear that forever till it falls off like it's a Hells Angels leathers.
45:39 Speaker 03 They're clean, people.
45:40 Speaker 05 Do you wanna try to put one of them on?
45:41 Speaker 04 Yes, of course.
45:42 Speaker 05 It might be a little small, because this is for women.
45:45 Speaker 04 I'm gonna step out, I'm gonna come right back. Please banter amongst yourselves.
45:48 Speaker 03 No, actually, I do have a question about, um, about what's going on in the Mormon community right now.
45:53 Speaker 05 Okay.
45:54 Speaker 03 The head dude, the old guy, he just died.
45:56 Speaker 05 Yes.
45:57 Speaker 03 What's his name?
45:57 Speaker 05 Nelson.
45:58 Speaker 03 Nelson.
45:58 Speaker 05 Prophet, President Nelson.
46:00 Speaker 03 President Nelson. So who replaced him?
46:02 Speaker 05 Uh, Oaks, yeah. President Oaks.
46:04 Speaker 03 So what's his deal?
46:05 Speaker 05 Um, he's so he's a lawyer. Or he is a lawyer by trade. So, um, that's why John Dillon is getting sued, in my opinion. Because basically he's like taking over, you know, the prophet basically gets to take over the reins for the church. So I think Nelson was a little softer.
46:20 Speaker 03 Okay.
46:21 Speaker 05 Still not that, but like.
46:22 Speaker 03 Physically too.
46:24 Speaker 05 Yeah, they're all so.
46:26 Speaker 03 Very sexy. This is great. God, I can see your hair through it. That is crazy.
46:39 Speaker 05 Over, over your pants.
46:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, I, I, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put on, yeah, don't put on, don't make them. Nothing. Yeah, go for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see through this.
46:53 Speaker 03 I don't want to, yes, she doesn't need to see his penis. Yeah, no, this is like, come on.
46:59 Speaker 05 Yeah, I usually just put them on over my clothes, but he's going, he's going hard.
47:03 Speaker 03 So, so no bras?
47:06 Speaker 05 You can wear, you, you still wear a bra.
47:08 Speaker 03 Okay.
47:08 Speaker 05 But like, you're supposed to wear, um, um, basically under the garment.
47:14 Speaker 05 Over the garment. So the garments are as close to your skin as possible.
47:18 Speaker 03 To be honest. It is nice. It's very form fitting. I do feel like with. Supposed to be.
47:25 Speaker 05 Yeah, they are women's underwear.
47:27 Speaker 03 Are they supposed to be loose? Are these yours?
47:29 Speaker 05 Yeah, so those are, well, no, those are new, uh, it's a new pair, so. Yeah, my.
47:34 Speaker 03 So I can really blow through these.
47:35 Speaker 05 Yeah, you're welcome to. They're not, yeah, those are like fresh out of the bag.
47:40 Speaker 03 Now, how do you order them?
47:42 Speaker 05 Um, you can't, well, you can't. And now since I took my name off the rolls, I can't, but.
47:47 Speaker 03 Really?
47:48 Speaker 05 Yeah, you have to have the special recommend.
47:50 Speaker 03 Oh, wow. So this is a collector's item.
47:52 Speaker 05 It really is. People go, well, because of the sex thing, the girl's gone wild. I, I do think people will like try to buy them online because it's like a kink.
48:00 Speaker 03 Wow. What do you mean?
48:02 Speaker 04 You know what, but this is kind of, it's form fitting. I feel like that I could, you know, a lot of the Mormon guys could use a little bit more support. And I think that this is kind of nice for them. This is actually kind of comfortable.
48:15 Speaker 05 Okay, yeah.
48:16 Speaker 04 They're really nice. They're very, um, soft.
48:20 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah.
48:21 Speaker 04 And what is that?
48:22 Speaker 05 Okay, so, so basically, as part of the temple ceremony, you would first receive your underwear and your new name.
48:28 Speaker 04 So you get it that day?
48:29 Speaker 05 You get it that day. So it's all happening to you at once.
48:31 Speaker 04 Is that when you turn eight?
48:33 Speaker 05 No, that's your baptism.
48:34 Speaker 04 That's the baptism.
48:35 Speaker 05 So usually endowment is after 18.
48:38 Speaker 04 Got it.
48:38 Speaker 05 It's like 18 to 25.
48:39 Speaker 04 Cause you have to really choose.
48:41 Speaker 05 Yeah, you have to opt in. Well, yeah, basically, you, you would get interviewed and you have to like pass all their questions and stuff to get the temple recommend.
48:48 Speaker 04 Yes.
48:49 Speaker 05 And you have to do that for baptism. You get an interview and then you have a separate interview for the temple. And then you have an interview to get married in the church. So it's like, yeah, constant.
48:58 Speaker 04 So what is this thing? So you get, you get the underwear?
49:00 Speaker 05 So once you get the underwear, that's called the washing and anointing ceremony. You get the new underwear and the new name and blah, blah. Uh, and then you go into the endowment, which is like the main ceremony. Um, I don't, you can wear this dress if you want.
49:15 Speaker 04 I mean, I don't know. Is that one yours too? Is that one also yours?
49:17 Speaker 05 This one is for real my dress, so.
49:19 Speaker 04 Wow, so they put that on you and then that's how you walk through.
49:25 Speaker 05 I bet, I bet this would fit you because it's a very.
49:27 Speaker 04 What I had to get, when I got my confirmation, I had to go to the husky section.
49:32 Speaker 03 Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Love the.
49:34 Speaker 04 I'm not gonna fit this.
49:35 Speaker 05 No.
49:35 Speaker 04 Oh no, I will destroy this.
49:36 Speaker 05 Well, maybe.
49:37 Speaker 04 You're a tiny woman.
49:39 Speaker 05 Are you sure?
49:39 Speaker 04 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
49:40 Speaker 05 It's very, it's kind of big on me, but.
49:42 Speaker 04 I'm, I'm pretty thick right now. You know, I'm creatine, I work out.
49:46 Speaker 03 I think if Henry put it on, it would explode.
49:49 Speaker 05 Should I put it on?
49:51 Speaker 04 Yeah, sure.
49:52 Speaker 05 We can have.
49:52 Speaker 04 Man, I honestly feel like I look good in this.
49:55 Speaker 03 Yeah. I can see, honestly, gold chain. I feel like this is like borderline, like a Italian man on vacation.
50:03 Speaker 04 Get the chains out, so it's over the thing.
50:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
50:06 Speaker 04 Hands on the bay.
50:07 Speaker 03 Put your.
50:07 Speaker 05 Oh my lord.
50:09 Speaker 03 Get your Satan chains out.
50:11 Speaker 04 Satan chains out?
50:14 Speaker 04 This is like really nice. I miss the 1920s.
50:17 Speaker 05 You're welcome to have it.
50:17 Speaker 03 This is like a sleepover.
50:18 Speaker 04 Oh, I'm gonna tell you, I don't know if you want it back.
50:22 Speaker 05 I have a lot of backups. Okay, so.
50:25 Speaker 03 So is this going out or is this sleeping?
50:28 Speaker 05 This is for just the endowment ceremony.
50:30 Speaker 04 So this is just to get, so now Alyssa is wearing a beautiful lace dress with, it's got some mother of pearl beads on it. And then she's like, oh, you're dressing like a bride.
50:43 Speaker 05 It's kind of, but you would do this all the time in the temple.
50:46 Speaker 04 Well, I love the over the shoulder lace, very Greek.
50:50 Speaker 03 Yes.
50:51 Speaker 04 Very like Aristotelian. Like that's the thing, right? It feels very Greek.
50:59 Speaker 05 It's almost like, yeah, I mean, it's kind of stolen.
51:01 Speaker 04 You're talking, yeah.
51:02 Speaker 05 It's kind of stolen from masonry, but also with Joseph Smith's little spin.
51:06 Speaker 03 Oh my God, they have a leaf thing over the crotch?
51:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's just like you're in the.
51:11 Speaker 03 Adam and Eve thing?
51:12 Speaker 04 Yep. Oh yeah. Just make sure that nobody sees anything.
51:16 Speaker 03 Do you all believe in Adam and Eve?
51:18 Speaker 05 Yes.
51:18 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
51:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah. Well, Adam and Eve were the first Mormons.
51:21 Speaker 03 Oh, they were?
51:22 Speaker 04 Yeah, the very first Mormons.
51:23 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm. So where, so Jesus came to Salt Lake City?
51:29 Speaker 05 No.
51:29 Speaker 03 No?
51:30 Speaker 05 He came to New York.
51:31 Speaker 03 He came to New York.
51:32 Speaker 05 Well, actually, no. So, um.
51:34 Speaker 04 You look like my fucking, yeah, you look like my Babu. You look like, like, it kind of looks.
51:40 Speaker 03 You called your grandma Babu too?
51:41 Speaker 04 No, but you're, I mean, like, but you look like a Russian, uh, like bride woman.
51:47 Speaker 03 Now you're a ghost.
51:49 Speaker 04 This is frightening.
51:50 Speaker 03 Now I feel like I'm in the haunted mansion.
51:51 Speaker 04 You're just so frightening. Why do they do this? Why do they do this to you?
51:55 Speaker 05 You have to do this to become a god in the afterlife.
51:57 Speaker 03 But it's just fabric. How much is this?
52:01 Speaker 05 So this whole getup is probably like a hundred bucks.
52:04 Speaker 03 Okay, that's too bad.
52:05 Speaker 05 Probably more now. It was a hundred bucks like 15 years ago.
52:08 Speaker 03 But they don't give it to you for free?
52:09 Speaker 05 No.
52:10 Speaker 03 So you gotta buy it and then you show up with your own stuff?
52:12 Speaker 05 The underwear.
52:13 Speaker 03 So you buy your own shit, you show up to your endowment and then they put the shit you just bought on your body?
52:19 Speaker 05 Basically, yeah, you're, or you're like, your mom would help you. And throughout the ceremony, you add more things. So like, you start with just the white dress and then as the ceremony progressed, well, you start with the white dress and underwear. Um, and then as the ceremony progresses, you start adding these little pieces on.
52:34 Speaker 03 Wow. Do they all have different meanings, the pieces?
52:36 Speaker 05 Um, so this is supposed to be, represents Adam and Eve. So you're right about that.
52:40 Speaker 04 The leaf, it's like it's a green leaf apron.
52:43 Speaker 05 Cause you learn the story of Adam and Eve leaving the Garden of Eden, which is in Missouri, which is also hilarious.
52:50 Speaker 04 The idea that anybody would not want to leave Missouri.
52:54 Speaker 03 I've always wanted to go to Branson.
52:56 Speaker 04 It's weird. If Branson's the Garden of Eden.
53:01 Speaker 03 I literally turned around and saw you, forgot that you were wearing that. I was like, I thought I saw a ghost.
53:08 Speaker 05 Yeah.
53:09 Speaker 04 Oh my God, it's the nun.
53:11 Speaker 05 Who is this? Yeah, I feel like, and then during certain parts of the ceremony, the women, they kind of changed it, but you have to veil your face. So when you chant in a circle, you do this, oh God, hear the words of my mouth. And you're doing the patriarchal grip with the person next to you. And you're doing all of this for the first time and you're like, what the, what the fuck is happening?
53:32 Speaker 04 It is silly. But I actually view it as a, I mean, more cynically, obviously L Ron Hubbard built it very specifically into Scientology. The Xenu reveal was so specifically done to get you all the way in. Like he knew, he knew what to do. He needed to put you through.
53:52 Speaker 05 Yeah.
53:52 Speaker 04 He learned it from the O T O. He learned it from other religions. And that's kind of find that interesting is that you're, what you see here is the O G version of it from stolen from Freemasonry of how to make somebody stay.
54:07 Speaker 05 Yeah. And it's like, you have to do so much work, just like Scientology, you have to do a lot of work to get to the point where they even allow you to have this information.
54:14 Speaker 04 Yeah. So that by the time you're walking the walk, the idea of it being silly or dumb must do, it like, that's the last thing from your, it like what you were saying, it's very fright, it must be very powerful and frightening.
54:26 Speaker 05 Cause and it makes, cause when you go through this, you're like, damn, Mitt Romney did this? My parents, my parents did this? All of my closest, like my, all my loved ones in this entire community did this and they were okay with it. So if I'm not okay with it, it means I'm wrong.
54:41 Speaker 04 Yes.
54:42 Speaker 05 Because everyone I love and trust has literally done this fucking chanting ceremony.
54:47 Speaker 04 Which means, and you've just went and have done, let's just be nice here, an hour of total nonsense that doesn't do anything. And when you're in the middle of it, and like I've read that a lot of people talking about this, you were like, you're expected to be filled with God's love. And you're like, Oh, this is all weird and sad and scary.
55:08 Speaker 03 Did you see some people who like, obviously felt like they were filled with God's love?
55:13 Speaker 05 Um, so by the time, like when you do the endowment, everyone else, which it could be like thirty to forty people or more, like everyone else in the room has already done the ceremony. Got it. So when you go through, you, and then you get this like special piece of paper that they tape on to you or they pin on to you. So everybody in the room knows that it's your first time.
55:32 Speaker 03 Oh.
55:33 Speaker 05 And so it's almost like also the like, social pressure of like, everyone staring at me because they all know it's my first time.
55:39 Speaker 04 And you're like, huh?
55:40 Speaker 03 See, the Catholics, we do it as a team, you know, there's like a bunch of, for Holy Communion, there's like, you know, seventy of us. So we get the cookie for the first time.
55:49 Speaker 04 Oh, I remember the idea, but that was also different, like, you know, Catholic, it was like, I kind of felt like, maybe the same, where it's like a social.
55:55 Speaker 05 But also, like, you've probably, you probably saw lots of people do that for the first time and get communion for the first time before you did it yourself.
56:02 Speaker 04 I saw, yeah, we got to actually see the ceremony.
56:05 Speaker 05 Visualize, like, okay, someday I'm gonna do that, and I know what's, like, I know what I'm gonna wear, I know what's gonna, what's gonna be said. This is like, totally blindsided.
56:12 Speaker 04 Yes, it's done to, it's done for that purpose.
56:15 Speaker 05 Yeah, I, like, when I was growing up as a Mormon teenager, I thought, I'm basically like a nondenominational Christian, just with the Book of Mormon. Like, everything else felt like, I'm going to youth groups, I'm going to church on Sunday, I'm reading the Bible. Like, you were almost like lulled into this sense of like, I'm just like everybody else, and then.
56:33 Speaker 04 You're like, what the fuck, oh my god, it's the boiling wa, the frog in the boiling water.
56:37 Speaker 05 Yeah.
56:38 Speaker 04 Now, to kind of wrap this up, like, was there any, because we do have current Mormon listeners still somehow.
56:45 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
56:46 Speaker 04 We still have.
56:46 Speaker 03 I thought you were gonna say there's more underwear.
56:48 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:49 Speaker 03 We do have more underwear.
56:51 Speaker 04 I've actually brought some of mine from home. Hell, we're all gonna try it. This is the Satanist traditional Tommy Johns.
57:00 Speaker 04 That um, I can't hear, I, what's a thing, you're like, yeah, cause we do, we do still have some current Mormon listeners.
57:09 Speaker 05 Okay.
57:10 Speaker 04 What's a fucking-
57:11 Speaker 05 Sorry about this.
57:11 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, like, serious, but honestly, what is the, is there anything you could say to be like, this is what helped me get out, this is what I did, like-
57:21 Speaker 03 I bet there are some people listening right now that are scared to get out, you know?
57:25 Speaker 05 I find that engaging with stuff like this is almost like the pinnacle of like, right before you leave. Cause you're like, oh, I'm so nuanced, I can listen to it and I still keep my faith, but then it chips away at your, like, uh, understanding of the religion and like, how much, I, I feel like most people before they leave, they go through like a doubling down phase, cause they're like, I don't wanna leave, I don't, I can't cope with that, I'd rather just go harder.
57:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
57:53 Speaker 05 And then they fall off the cliff and are like, oh, I don't believe, but, so maybe they're like that, I don't know.
57:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, it's like, it's like you always see like, whenever like, someone's about to break up with someone, they make lots of really nice mushy Instagram posts.
58:07 Speaker 05 Yeah, very similar.
58:09 Speaker 04 The longer the caption is, the more in trouble the relationship is.
58:12 Speaker 05 Exactly.
58:13 Speaker 03 Love my babe, that's always like, great relationship.
58:15 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like, done.
58:17 Speaker 05 Or they're very, like, social Mormons, like, because it's so costly socially to leave the church, I find there's a lot of, it's called Pimo, physically in, mentally out, so who, like, I don't know what types of emails you're getting from Mormons, but-
58:31 Speaker 04 You were talking about too, but like, the lady Mormons that are like, doing all of the botox, all of the boob implants, all of the stuff where it's like, hyper, hyper feminine, they are being extremely feminine and-
58:43 Speaker 03 Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the whole show about it.
58:46 Speaker 04 Like, how does the Mormon church square with that fucking shit?
58:50 Speaker 05 Yeah, I, honestly, I feel like it's because the religion is like, for men, by men, and men are never gonna be pissed about women trying to be hot, so-
59:00 Speaker 04 It is correct. Cause it does seem like that, cause men get-
59:03 Speaker 05 No coffee, but you can get a boob job.
59:05 Speaker 04 You can get a boob job, and, cause Mormon men, I mean, I do say that, I was like, man, they- Have it fucking good. They just get a job like if you stay in right like someone will hook you up with a job. Someone hooks you up with a wife, somebody hooks up for the men. It must be hard to get men out.
59:22 Speaker 05 Yeah, I think it very much is. I mean, my, I was talking to a friend recently and they know someone who recently they literally moved houses because they had left the church and then found it like he, he lost all of his like business contacts. So they moved to a different part of Utah and like pretended like they had been active in the other ward. And then they were like reintegrated so that he could get basically social contacts back.
59:46 Speaker 04 That's how I said, if you don't hear me for a while, you don't hear from me for a while. And all of a sudden I'm like, you, you, you've somehow see me under a different name as a small town preacher where I'm running a different church and doing stuff, just don't say anything.
59:58 Speaker 03 Just imagine you're making a documentary of some sort.
1:00:01 Speaker 04 Yeah. You ever see me in that position and just understand I'm working on something.
1:00:09 Speaker 04 Cause obviously I've lost everything.
1:00:11 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:00:11 Speaker 04 And also let me, I'll ask you this question. I was just asking Natalie upstairs. Okay, this has got nothing to do with Mormonism. This is literally just a lady question. Cause one question, okay.
1:00:19 Speaker 03 What'd you put in me?
1:00:19 Speaker 04 Because you, you'll hear.
1:00:23 Speaker 04 Okay. You get married at 20 years old, right? 21 years old.
1:00:26 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:00:26 Speaker 04 You're married for like a year. As your, your man lady dies. How long are you a widower for? Are you a widower even if you get married again?
1:00:38 Speaker 05 I'm confused by the question.
1:00:39 Speaker 04 So, okay, you're a young man, young wife.
1:00:41 Speaker 03 You asked this to Natalie earlier?
1:00:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:43 Speaker 05 Like, how long do you have to wait before?
1:00:45 Speaker 04 But just like, are you always a widower? For men on?
1:00:50 Speaker 05 No, I don't think so. I mean, are you?
1:00:52 Speaker 03 If you have a wife that dies, you're always a widower.
1:00:55 Speaker 05 Even if you get remarried?
1:00:56 Speaker 04 Even if it was the first marriage, six months long, you barely were married. Now you got a new wife, been with her for a decade.
1:01:00 Speaker 03 If she dies, then you still love her. So you're a widower.
1:01:04 Speaker 05 Yeah, I mean, I think you could self describe as a widower, but if that was like the first thing out of your mouth when you meet people, it'd be a little.
1:01:10 Speaker 04 Hey, I'm a widower. This is my new wife, though.
1:01:13 Speaker 04 Hey, I lost the first one, kept this one. Yeah, I'm a widower.
1:01:18 Speaker 03 That's a fun sentence.
1:01:19 Speaker 05 You're like trying to use it for like sympathy points?
1:01:25 Speaker 04 I got widowers energy. She was upset.
1:01:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, you gotta think sometimes.
1:01:32 Speaker 05 I don't know if that is a lady.
1:01:33 Speaker 03 Before you talk.
1:01:33 Speaker 05 I don't think that's a lady question.
1:01:35 Speaker 04 I'm just, my love, like, I'm doing my best.
1:01:37 Speaker 05 You're gonna ask me like a period question?
1:01:38 Speaker 04 No, no, no, no.
1:01:40 Speaker 03 Once married, you are no longer officially a widower. Oh, really?
1:01:44 Speaker 04 I just looked it up, yeah.
1:01:45 Speaker 03 Who are you? No, no, no, this is a real website, this is a real website.
1:01:48 Speaker 04 Courtney's up fucking.
1:01:49 Speaker 03 Real website, real website.
1:01:50 Speaker 04 That's actually from the newest study of the new wives administration. They say that you're no longer a widower.
1:01:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, the new wives say, fuck that bitch.
1:02:00 Speaker 04 If you were to marry a guy, all right, let's say he really loves her, you've been with your husband for a while, you got kids and all kind of stuff, whatever.
1:02:05 Speaker 03 The interview's over, by the way.
1:02:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's done now, it's basically over. My question is, is that if you were to, um, God, God, we'll save this.
1:02:14 Speaker 03 What do you mean? You're halfway through the nonsense.
1:02:16 Speaker 04 It was just, I lost it, I lost it, I lost the edge, I lost the edge.
1:02:21 Speaker 05 I thought you were gonna ask about polygamy because if a Mormon man's first wife dies and then he gets remarried, then now he's a polygamist in heaven.
1:02:28 Speaker 04 Oh.
1:02:29 Speaker 03 Interesting, does he want that though?
1:02:30 Speaker 05 Cause he's still sealed to both, well, it doesn't matter if he wants it.
1:02:33 Speaker 03 Did you get married, but when you were still in the church?
1:02:35 Speaker 05 Yes, yeah, we were married in the temple.
1:02:37 Speaker 03 Really?
1:02:37 Speaker 04 And you both got out?
1:02:39 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:02:39 Speaker 03 Oh, are you still married to the same person?
1:02:41 Speaker 05 Yes, yeah.
1:02:42 Speaker 03 That's amazing.
1:02:42 Speaker 05 I know, good news.
1:02:43 Speaker 03 That's actually very beautiful.
1:02:44 Speaker 04 That's really beautiful, honestly, it's really nice, let's, and you guys all, were your kids in too?
1:02:49 Speaker 05 No, thankfully, we didn't have kids till after we left.
1:02:51 Speaker 04 Got it.
1:02:51 Speaker 05 Which you would think maybe we'd be like, fuck having kids, we're not gonna do that, but, you know, I still wanna have kids after leaving.
1:02:57 Speaker 03 Especially now that you got all your fucking ducks in a row.
1:03:00 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:03:01 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, and how does he, now that he's out too, is he still kinda just like, whoa, like, that's how, how's he, his transition? What does he do for a living?
1:03:09 Speaker 03 He's a cocaine salesman.
1:03:12 Speaker 05 Uh, he does PR and marketing.
1:03:14 Speaker 04 Interesting.
1:03:14 Speaker 05 Yeah, um, so, yeah, I mean, we left together and we're raising our kids to be basically like atheists in Texas, which is like funny, cause my seven year old will come home and be like, I told everyone God isn't real, and then they started arguing with me.
1:03:29 Speaker 03 Fuck yeah, that is the Lord's work.
1:03:32 Speaker 04 Yes, it is!
1:03:35 Speaker 05 Sorry, son.
1:03:37 Speaker 04 The older people are gonna have a real, I do think that it's that general, I have a lot of hope for those kids, for your kids. I have a lot of hope for that generation.
1:03:46 Speaker 03 There's no nuns anymore. Nuns are done.
1:03:48 Speaker 05 Well, I am, I have hope, but I'm also afraid because they're two, I have two boys and I'm worried about like the red pill neo conserve, like the new conservative young men who are like bone smashing.
1:04:01 Speaker 04 I think as long as um, your husband like hugs them every once in a while.
1:04:06 Speaker 05 They will, at least, yeah, they'll definitely grow up with a strong father figure who is not like that.
1:04:11 Speaker 04 As long as you got a father that can maybe show some form of affection, that might help the little boys.
1:04:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, y'all are good parents. You don't gotta worry about that show.
1:04:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, you already make great decisions, like being on the show. Being on this fantastic show.
1:04:24 Speaker 05 Well, thank you for having me.
1:04:26 Speaker 04 This has gotta be one of the, this is, I'm sorry.
1:04:30 Speaker 03 Who are you apologizing? Her, the viewers?
1:04:32 Speaker 04 I'm apologizing to everyone, but I also feel like-
1:04:34 Speaker 05 Did you see the symbols? Did you look?
1:04:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, there's a V right here.
1:04:38 Speaker 05 Yeah, that's the most important part. And then on the belly button too.
1:04:41 Speaker 03 Your belly button has a V? Oh no, it's just a line.
1:04:44 Speaker 05 They all mean different things.
1:04:45 Speaker 04 What do these mean? That's like, was that where the tracker chip goes?
1:04:48 Speaker 03 No, that's your C-section.
1:04:50 Speaker 05 Oh. They're all the, the masonry, you know, like the sim, the compass and the ruler, they're the Masonic symbols.
1:04:59 Speaker 04 Oh, okay. This is the kind of stuff I want on my own clothes. I want to have a monogram.
1:05:03 Speaker 03 But it needs to be a Z, of course.
1:05:06 Speaker 04 Alyssa, you're wonderful.
1:05:08 Speaker 03 Thank you so much.
1:05:08 Speaker 04 How do people find the book? So it's on, I say, try to get them from your local bookstore when you can, but does Amazon help you? Obviously you get it all, it's all good.
1:05:17 Speaker 05 Yeah, Amazon, yeah, it's just KDP published, it's self-published, so you, you might not find it in a local bookstore, honestly.
1:05:25 Speaker 04 Get it on Amazon, How to Get Out of the Mormon, like How to Leave the Mormon Church by Alyssa Grenfell. Check out her YouTube, it is endlessly fascinating. You are constantly bringing up really cool, new information about the Mormon, like all of, like, everything that us- Let's just say some of us are kind of obsessed with it, right? Not saying me and my wife.
1:05:44 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:05:45 Speaker 04 But yeah.
1:05:46 Speaker 03 I mean, you are saying that.
1:05:47 Speaker 04 But yes, so you guys do great work. So thank you.
1:05:50 Speaker 05 Thank you. Yeah, yeah. And I have a TikTok and Instagram and if, yeah, Mormon Stories is great, too. So.
1:05:56 Speaker 04 Yes, and he's getting sued. John Dallin's getting sued.
1:05:58 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's so insane.
1:06:00 Speaker 04 And how do you avoid? How do you avoid getting sued?
1:06:03 Speaker 05 Uh, you know, I think it's probably coming, but knock on wood. I mean, I think they're just waiting, probably.
1:06:09 Speaker 03 That's how you know you made it.
1:06:11 Speaker 04 Please, I'll help you. It's the best thing that could ever happen for your YouTube channel.
1:06:14 Speaker 05 But the greatest, I mean, so I'm in Texas, whereas like John is in Utah and the courts are stacked with Mormons.
1:06:21 Speaker 04 Yes.
1:06:21 Speaker 05 So I also think the reason they're suing John and not me is they know Texans, like evangelicals, don't.
1:06:25 Speaker 04 Don't give a fuck.
1:06:26 Speaker 05 Well, they actually hate Mormons, so.
1:06:28 Speaker 04 Is John still in?
1:06:29 Speaker 05 John Dallin is, I think, you know, no, he was excommunicated.
1:06:33 Speaker 04 He's out, right? Yeah, he's out.
1:06:34 Speaker 05 He was in, he chose to stay in, but was still publicly critical as a, like as a member. And then they excommunicated him in like 2018.
1:06:42 Speaker 04 Hmm, and they really try.
1:06:44 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:06:44 Speaker 04 They try to go like, well, we'll take a little bit of it, but don't you dare come from our copyrights. Because we will sue the balls off of you. Because we don't care, even though it's not real. Thank you so much, Alyssa.
1:06:56 Speaker 03 This was wonderful.
1:06:56 Speaker 04 This was awesome.
1:06:57 Speaker 05 Thanks for having me.
1:06:58 Speaker 04 Thank you so much.
1:06:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, I can't wait to read the book.
1:07:00 Speaker 04 Hail sweet Satan.
1:07:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, you know, and hail sweet Satan again, just for the Mormon community.
1:07:07 Speaker 04 It feels really good.
1:07:08 Speaker 05 I think, I think he prefers Lucifer, actually. Hail Lucifer.
1:07:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
1:07:15 Speaker 07 Live on your blade.
1:07:18 Speaker 04 Wow. She wasn't too upset by us?
1:07:20 Speaker 03 No, obviously. I honestly, as soon as I saw her, I'm like, oh, she's gonna hate me.
1:07:24 Speaker 04 No, she, but she did a good, you did a good job, too, because you didn't yell.
1:07:28 Speaker 03 No.
1:07:28 Speaker 04 You didn't rip off your shirt.
1:07:30 Speaker 03 I didn't eat a bunch of food.
1:07:31 Speaker 04 No, you didn't cover yourself in all different sauces and stuff and scream.
1:07:34 Speaker 03 Smoking ass weed, dude.
1:07:36 Speaker 04 No, no, I mean, we should have, though.
1:07:38 Speaker 03 That'd have been cool.
1:07:39 Speaker 04 We gotta get her on that. That's next.
1:07:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:07:41 Speaker 04 Next, we get her fully into drugs.
1:07:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, bong rips with Alyssa.
1:07:44 Speaker 04 I feel like that's what it comes down to. We need to do some LSD. We need to do some, honestly, I'd even do cocaine with her just to do it.
1:07:51 Speaker 03 You know, I've never done heroin.
1:07:52 Speaker 04 This is the person to do with.
1:07:54 Speaker 03 This is the person, because she seems responsible.
1:07:56 Speaker 04 If I turn a Mormon person or exmo with heroin, I win.
1:08:01 Speaker 03 Yeah. She looks like she always has an arcana on her, right?
1:08:04 Speaker 04 Yeah. We do, yeah, too. We stole it from, from back.
1:08:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, I do have an arcana in my backpack. So if you start to seize up in front of me, just be like, Eddie, Eddie, give me an arcana. Give me a shot, give me a fucking shot, give me a fucking shot, bro.
1:08:16 Speaker 05 I'm gonna fucking die here, man. I'm gonna fucking die, bro.
1:08:18 Speaker 03 But this is coming out next week, so I might be out of our can.
1:08:21 Speaker 04 Yeah, you might have used it.
1:08:22 Speaker 03 Cause I'm going to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
1:08:24 Speaker 04 And they are gonna need it.
1:08:27 Speaker 04 So go over to patreon.com slash last podcast and left to listen to us ad free. You can also see movie signs with Ed and I, our videos over on the Patreon. It's fucking great.
1:08:38 Speaker 03 Hell, yeah.
1:08:38 Speaker 04 And our movie opinions, solid.
1:08:41 Speaker 03 Right on the money. No one has better ones.
1:08:43 Speaker 04 No, not a single person. If you think that your opinion is better about film, you are incorrect, sir.
1:08:49 Speaker 03 This show is not a reason for Henry and I to write off our 4K DVD addiction.
1:08:54 Speaker 04 How dare you say that? That is not
1:09:00 Speaker 03 what we're doing. Also, this weekend is the end of JK Ultra. We're gonna be in Tulsa, Oklahoma at Kane's Ballroom on July 17th. And then we're gonna be in Oklahoma City on July 18th. And then, of course, if you can't make it out to either of those shows and you're so sad that you missed a JK Ultra tour, don't worry, don't worry. L P O T L dot Kizwi dot com. You can watch us stream. No, it's not a PP channel.
1:09:29 Speaker 04 No, not anymore.
1:09:30 Speaker 03 It is us doing our show at you from the comfort of your home. And if you rent it from them, it is available for two weeks. So you don't have to catch it live. You can just, you could rent it and then check it out later. It's no big deal.
1:09:44 Speaker 04 You also, if you do the VIP through Kizwi, you get to join us for our Q and A after the fact and you can answer the questions. So.
1:09:50 Speaker 03 Oh, hell yeah. That's awesome. I didn't realize we were doing that.
1:09:53 Speaker 04 We are.
1:09:53 Speaker 03 Nice. And also, uh, if you're in Texas on Sunday, I'm gonna be in Plano. Uh, I know Texas is big, but Plano wants you to come see me live at the mic drop. That's gonna be.
1:10:04 Speaker 04 The comedy club does.
1:10:06 Speaker 03 The comedy club.
1:10:07 Speaker 04 Who knows about the city? I don't know if the city is always the most welcoming.
1:10:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, maybe not. Probably not. But I'll be there on September 19th. You know that shit. And then I got a bunch of other shows coming up. I'm gonna be in Chicago, San Francisco, DC, all kinds of places. Go to eddytunes.com to go check out where I'm gonna be next and come see me live on the road. And then Henry and I, I'm telling you. It's more than just crime wave at sea over here.
1:10:30 Speaker 04 Oh, you gotta believe it's crime wave all over your face. Go to crime wave at sea dot com slash last to go and buy tickets. We still got a couple of tickets left. I'm honestly very few left.
1:10:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, no.
1:10:42 Speaker 04 And go and you can put them on layaway. Come and join us in the high seas. We will kill a woman together.
1:10:50 Speaker 03 Shh.
1:10:51 Speaker 04 I'm sorry.
1:10:52 Speaker 03 Shh, shh.
1:10:52 Speaker 04 What do you mean? Just because that's what happens on cruises.
1:10:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, it is. All right.
1:10:56 Speaker 04 But never really on Royal Caribbean.
1:10:59 Speaker 03 No, they only run over whales, apparently.
1:11:01 Speaker 04 But that's just because whales are there in the way, dude. Whale's gonna get out of the way, man.
1:11:05 Speaker 03 Did you hear about that?
1:11:06 Speaker 04 No, I don't want to get into it.
1:11:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, I want to get into it.
1:11:08 Speaker 04 All right, doesn't matter. Apparently people on the cruise didn't even notice. That's how great the boats are for Royal Caribbean. They ran over a bunch of whales and didn't even know. People still are having a great time.
1:11:18 Speaker 03 Yeah. And also come check us out at Midsummer Scream at the beginning of August out here in Long Beach.
1:11:23 Speaker 04 If you could.
1:11:24 Speaker 03 It's gonna be a lot of fun. We're gonna be selling the album, doing a panel, doing some signings.
1:11:27 Speaker 04 Lots of shit. Just fucking hanging out, selling merch. You know, you know, the bullshit that happens at Horror Con. See my fucking ass over at Midsummer Scream.
1:11:35 Speaker 03 Hell, yeah, he's gonna spread his cheeks and let you see the hole.
1:11:38 Speaker 04 You really don't want to.
1:11:39 Speaker 03 But you can, though.
1:11:40 Speaker 04 Yes, that will be available.
1:11:44 Speaker 04 I'll say it.
1:11:45 Speaker 03 Hell, this is a grand fail.
1:11:46 Speaker 04 Good work.
1:11:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, bye.
1:11:48 Speaker 04 Bye.
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Previous Episode 672: Gary Ridgway : Redux Part II - The Aroma of Tacoma Next Episode 673: Gary Ridgway : Redux Part III - The Riverman Page updated October 29, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated