Side Stories: Disclosure Daze w/ Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

The boys return with this week’s biggest stories and true crime news as SmartSchoolboy9 crawls back into the light with a warning, daredevils around the world take things one step too far, and Henry goes head-to-head with Disclosure Day. Then, drag royalty descends upon Side Stories as the boys are joined by the one and only Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 for the release of her new single, "Revolution".

• 0:00Speaker 00

  On October 30th, Dexter Morgan is back. In this season, he's facing the scariest threat yet. Middle age. A lifetime of blending in gets to you. And now Dexter is up against two rival killers stealing the spotlight. Taking them down means changing his MO and things are gonna get messy. Starring Michael C. Hall, Uma Thurman, Dan Stevens, and Brian Cox. Dexter: Resurrection. New season, October 30th on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:01Speaker 02

  There's no place to escape to.

• 1:02Speaker 00

  This is the last.

• 1:04Speaker 03

  On the left.

• 1:06Speaker 04

  Side stories?

• 1:09Speaker 02

  That's when the cannibalism started.

• 1:12Speaker 04

  Side stories. Yes.

• 1:22Speaker 05

  How you doing, buddy? We have a very special guest in the studio in a little bit.

• 1:26Speaker 04

  It was really fun to have like some nice feminine energy in this place.

• 1:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, it smelled better for a second.

• 1:33Speaker 04

  It did because like I tried to, I put cologne on.

• 1:36Speaker 05

  Did you?

• 1:37Speaker 04

  I wash.

• 1:38Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:39Speaker 05

  I got my, uh, I got, I got this new squash deodorant. I hate it, but I'm wearing it and, uh, I did it.

• 1:47Speaker 04

  I love that.

• 1:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:48Speaker 04

  I love that. You just don't care. You don't care.

• 1:50Speaker 05

  Well, there are, no one sells Mitchum anymore. I tried to switch them to Mitchum and no one's got fucking Mitchum.

• 1:56Speaker 04

  It's because they put like tobacco in it and stuff.

• 1:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, but that's, but now my armpits are red again because I'm squatching.

• 2:02Speaker 04

  You know, I find it, because you, yeah, you got irritated, you used to do the-

• 2:05Speaker 05

  Old Spice fucked me.

• 2:07Speaker 04

  Alright, this is a bad way to start, buddy.

• 2:08Speaker 05

  What are you talking about?

• 2:09Speaker 04

  We can't just talk about your underarm irritation.

• 2:12Speaker 05

  I feel like it was great.

• 2:13Speaker 04

  I mean, it's too late. The show's already began.

• 2:16Speaker 05

  Oh, good. I thought you were trying to restart.

• 2:18Speaker 04

  No, we're locked into this horrible intro.

• 2:20Speaker 05

  My shit's all fucked up. I'm looking for help. You're fucking telling me to start over.

• 2:23Speaker 04

  You know what? SideStoriesLPL at gmail dot com. This is a real problem that Ed has had forever. His armpits get irritated.

• 2:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, and only Mitchum helps me, but I can't find it anywhere.

• 2:33Speaker 04

  You'd be like Mitchum-

• 2:34Speaker 05

  And I don't use Amazon, so I don't know what to do.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  He doesn't use, honestly, I told him to fucking put red clay. That's what I was saying, that's what he needs, red clay.

• 2:45Speaker 05

  Maybe that's my issue.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  What?

• 2:46Speaker 05

  That's why it's all red. All the clay.

• 2:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, that might be the problem. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with the irritated Ed Larson.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  And that's, you know, Eddie, you're allowed to be irritated. I just feel like, you know what I switched to, straight up? I just, you know, if we're staying in this boring lane, I'll be right here. I switched up to fancier deodorant, and it's better for me.

• 3:12Speaker 05

  Really?

• 3:12Speaker 04

  I use this, like, balm.

• 3:15Speaker 05

  I'm willing to up my game.

• 3:17Speaker 04

  I'll send you what I use.

• 3:18Speaker 05

  Really?

• 3:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:19Speaker 05

  We have similar bodies.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  We do.

• 3:21Speaker 05

  Back in college, Henry was like, there's like this red spot above my penis, and then I literally was like, you mean like this one? And I shut- It goes away. Don't worry about it.

• 3:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's called that. Yeah, yeah. Rob likes the native. I like the native, too. I use the native, but I also use kind of like fancier stuff.

• 3:37Speaker 05

  Oh, nice.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, we'll get you in there.

• 3:39Speaker 05

  Thank you, I appreciate you.

• 3:40Speaker 04

  Speaking of this, there's an update.

• 3:43Speaker 05

  Updates?

• 3:44Speaker 04

  You know, I just wanted to get into this, the very, very top. First of all, to all the people who wrote in about their handlebar mustache, the people that have fucked people with handlebar mustaches, the people who defended your handlebar mustache, I just want to say, I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you stood up to me.

• 4:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:02Speaker 04

  Right? I'm proud that you did that. I'm proud that you stand in it. And I, and I will reiterate what I said before, which is, it wasn't a full-on criticism of the handlebar mustache, but you men, you straight men, as you'll see with our guest we talked about today, you straight men with handlebar mustaches are- Brave in the fact that you're you take that on to yourself and that fight on to yourself. And I appreciate that.

• 4:27Speaker 05

  I mean, it's better than just dress it in clothes from Walmart and smelling like shit.

• 4:31Speaker 04

  Completely agree, Eddie. And I want to say, there's a lot of people that say the handlebar mustache makes a man look safe. I say opposite, but some but that's what a woman says.

• 4:41Speaker 05

  It's literally a cartoon image of a man tying a woman to a train track and blowing her up.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  That though, I got several messages from women who said they specifically fuck men because they look like that. Women, we forget are broken, Eddie.

• 4:53Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 4:54Speaker 04

  Like, that's the thing is that we forget. A woman chose us.

• 4:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:57Speaker 04

  So for women.

• 4:58Speaker 05

  And we fixed them.

• 4:59Speaker 04

  We did. Oh, we got right in there.

• 5:02Speaker 04

  We got right in there. Okay. And we fixed that up. So I know that those generous, forward-thinking women exist.

• 5:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:13Speaker 04

  And that's who's attracted to real men like us. Forward-thinking women.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:18Speaker 04

  Like inventors.

• 5:19Speaker 05

  Women who've already been with lots of bad men. And like, you know what? Attractions for the birds.

• 5:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, who cares? I can learn to be attracted to it. I can grow to be attracted to it. And you know what, ladies? You should try that. Try to be attracted to somebody you're not that isn't that isn't a toxic person.

• 5:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:38Speaker 04

  Just because they're nice.

• 5:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, ugly people are fine.

• 5:41Speaker 04

  They can be.

• 5:41Speaker 05

  Some of them are awful.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  Honestly, a lot of ugly people are also bad too.

• 5:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're right. You know what? Celibacy.

• 5:48Speaker 04

  Speaking of.

• 5:48Speaker 05

  Become a lesbian.

• 5:49Speaker 04

  Smart School Boy Night is back.

• 5:51Speaker 05

  Oh, definitely become a lesbian.

• 5:53Speaker 04

  Now, this guy, to remind all of you, around the end of 2024, this man, who was an Instagram user, went under the name Smart School Boy Nine and a bunch of other things. We went on a deep dive.

• 6:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:04Speaker 04

  Of this guy where he pretended to be a little British boy, where he covered himself in makeup.

• 6:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, he had the high pitched voice.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, he has a hyper British voice. He dresses like a weird little old boy. He first started with him making fake Instagram accounts, where he was pretending to be a little boy and then pretending to be all the other little kids talking back to him.

• 6:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:23Speaker 04

  He's a nightmare to behold. He's got a big thick tongue that he sticks out. He's got these little, uh, he's painted his face white and he dresses like. Angus Young from ACDC and then what he does is that he chases little boys.

• 6:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, he follows people, right?

• 6:35Speaker 04

  There's been recently, that's where it was escalating too, because he also did Truth Sticks 2. There was other, Stephanie Schoolly was another account that he used.

• 6:43Speaker 05

  And if you look weird on, on socials, that's one thing. It, that's, it's, you know, what are you gonna do?

• 6:48Speaker 04

  Yes, but he began to approach people in real life, which is what he then said he never did. Uh, he then, he denied all this, but we know Smart School Boy 9 is out there and we know he stopped for a while due to all this attention. But it seems that Smart School Boy 9 is no longer patient enough to stay home. Because Rob's, because as Rob's gonna play right now, Smart School Boy 9 has sent another missive to all of us who dare comment upon his life.

• 7:18Speaker 06

  Hi there, I'm the real, original Smart School Boy 9. A proper child. Just to be clear, okay? Now, you've probably heard about the unscrupulous scammers that had lied about me.

• 7:39Speaker 05

  Sounds like you've got two videos planned.

• 7:41Speaker 04

  No, it's just bad editing.

• 7:42Speaker 06

  2024. Recently, some have decided to admit that they were us denying us.

• 7:55Speaker 04

  I was never asked to lie by Smart School Boy 9, he did this to himself.

• 7:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, we didn't know who they were.

• 8:00Speaker 06

  I'm admitting that they were, in some cases, best to lie about me.

• 8:09Speaker 04

  Everybody told me to not talk about him specifically.

• 8:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, even me, I believe, yeah.

• 8:13Speaker 06

  I don't look at those comments, I'm told about them.

• 8:18Speaker 06

  Plenty of those comments are, of course, from real bad people. Some have been caught already. Some have been found out, caught. Others were just scammers.

• 8:35Speaker 06

  But they got in so deep, some of them, because they couldn't stop. They couldn't stop themselves.

• 8:42Speaker 04

  See, Smart Schoolboy 9 thinks that coming at me is a good thing for him to do.

• 8:47Speaker 05

  So you think this is directed at you?

• 8:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:51Speaker 05

  Now, who's full of themselves? Smart Schoolboy 9 or you?

• 8:54Speaker 04

  I think that I am his Batman. And that I have arrived here with him. No, I think that it's good. Nick Crowley, who was the guy that went and got, went deep in on Smart Schoolboy 9.

• 9:08Speaker 05

  He's got 13 million views on his YouTube.

• 9:10Speaker 04

  Which is, I think, yeah, we've talked about this. We sent people to him. And I, I just think it's interesting that these villains want to come back. And we'll see what he's gonna do, because he's saying that all of the scammers and the people that said lies about him, they're all being punished and arrested. But here I am, Smart Schoolboy 9.

• 9:29Speaker 05

  I don't think he's talking about us.

• 9:30Speaker 04

  I think that he should be, because we were probably the biggest show that actually covered him.

• 9:35Speaker 05

  Well, he's got 13 million YouTube views.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  The internet liked him, but now we're back covering him. Now we're here. So I just want to say, Smart Schoolboy 9, good luck.

• 9:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, we're watching you.

• 9:49Speaker 04

  Coming at him? You're challenging him? Yeah, why not? Come on the show! No, no, they're not coming on the show! Oh, God! Yeah, come on, you don't have the balls to come on the show.

• 10:05Speaker 05

  They're not invited.

• 10:10Speaker 04

  Probably don't even fucking know where we live. I'll tell you exactly where we live.

• 10:14Speaker 05

  Where's that?

• 10:17Speaker 04

  656 Metropolitan Avenue, Brooklyn, New York.

• 10:22Speaker 05

  Oh, there is a picture without makeup?

• 10:24Speaker 04

  No, that is, so I think someone else made that.

• 10:26Speaker 05

  Oh, someone's, see what they really look like around?

• 10:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, someone else made that.

• 10:29Speaker 05

  So, have there been any other reports, like, around?

• 10:32Speaker 04

  Well, they're saying that the, it went into hiding. I'm calling it "it". It went into hiding at some point because of all the attention it was receiving. And then I think it just took off its fucking costume and its makeup. And now that it's getting, it's ready to kind of find its way back, because it needs attention.

• 10:48Speaker 05

  Misses the attention, yeah. Yeah, because it's got nothing else going on.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, so what'll probably happen is like, this is maybe the time when they will do something bad.

• 10:58Speaker 05

  Seems like they'd be a great villain in a pointless film.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  That's what I love.

• 11:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems like they never really disappeared. They just kind of went underground.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  Went underground a little bit.

• 11:09Speaker 05

  They were still being creepy and messaging kids.

• 11:12Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:13Speaker 05

  We know they didn't go through a manhole cover.

• 11:19Speaker 04

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• 13:52Speaker 00

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• 14:20Speaker 05

  All right, here we go. What else we got here? We got, it's kind of a fun story that I liked. Just real quick, I mean, I feel like I'd be disrespecting my alligator people not to bring it up.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Please.

• 14:30Speaker 05

  Um, in Louisiana, there was a guy who got a DWI, and when the cops pulled him over, he ran from them and he jumped into a swamp. And then, uh, and they were like, "Hey, get out of that swamp!" He's like, "Fuck you, cops!" And then, uh, and then a gator saw him in the swamp and swam at rapid speed towards him and started attacking him. And it's all on the web, on the, on the cops' cam. It's pretty fucking cool.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  Whoa, and what, he'd leave the alligator, the alligator killed him?

• 14:52Speaker 05

  The alligator bit his arms up pretty bad, but he, um, he lived. And, uh, he's in, uh, he's in a hospital right now and he's gonna end up in prison after that.

• 15:00Speaker 04

  He stole stuff?

• 15:00Speaker 05

  No, it was a DWI.

• 15:01Speaker 04

  Oh, that's...

• 15:02Speaker 05

  Look, all right, check this out, check this out. You see him there, you see? Hold on, but he's not gonna attack, that's him swimming. And then you see it, look, it beelining right for him. It's his fucking beelining.

• 15:13Speaker 04

  That gator's a fucking cop, dude!

• 15:15Speaker 05

  That's sobering up real fast, huh? That's the thing, man. It's like, I don't even know if you can give him a breathalyzer after that. I'd just be like, "All right, buddy."

• 15:22Speaker 04

  I think we can call this even. Can't you just call it even? If he's been bit by an alligator, like you could just go and like, alright, you just.

• 15:29Speaker 05

  I think if the alligator took his arms, you could call it even.

• 15:33Speaker 04

  You know, just go home, go home.

• 15:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't think he can go home. He's, yeah, he's.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, this is the thing is that now the entire, they're making memes about making the big alligator a fucking police officer. Don't do this to the alligator.

• 15:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's a hard enough life.

• 15:45Speaker 04

  Don't give it a job. It doesn't even have a job.

• 15:48Speaker 05

  Just trying to eat.

• 15:49Speaker 04

  They barely even have a pension plan anymore. What's gonna happen when that alligator lives to a hundred and fucking seventy-five years old?

• 15:55Speaker 05

  Especially in Louisiana.

• 15:56Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 15:57Speaker 05

  They treat their cops like shit down there.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  Absolutely, he's gonna die. Honestly, I bet you alligator as a cop dies faster than alligator in nature because of distress.

• 16:07Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:08Speaker 04

  The food, all the bad fast food and stuff like that, the hours.

• 16:11Speaker 05

  Family.

• 16:12Speaker 04

  Oh, my god, like your wife going, why aren't you here to watch the eggs anymore?

• 16:16Speaker 05

  Is it goddammit, bitch, I'm not as territorial as you.

• 16:19Speaker 04

  I'm just a fucking, I'm a lizard that has a job for the US government.

• 16:24Speaker 05

  I love that they gave him five fingers.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's to me is unfair. Of course it's AI.

• 16:30Speaker 05

  Of course it's AI, Rob. You think it's a real fucking alligator in a cop costume? I don't trust this one.

• 16:36Speaker 04

  I don't trust this one.

• 16:37Speaker 05

  This one seems a little fishy.

• 16:39Speaker 04

  There's something about this picture that doesn't make any sense. I think it's the fact that he's wearing a bulletproof vest, and why would an alligator need one? He's got scales.

• 16:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, you know, a little classy and everything for the people.

• 16:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, honestly, but they just, you know, a DWI, just stop and take it, just roll over and take it. Guess what? Cause a lot of times, yeah, right now it's bad, but it won't even ruin your life anymore like it used to.

• 17:05Speaker 05

  No, no, you'll be fine.

• 17:08Speaker 05

  Especially in Louisiana, they don't even have real laws.

• 17:10Speaker 04

  Louisiana.

• 17:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:11Speaker 04

  Um, well, you want to talk about the daredevil who died?

• 17:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, that shit's crazy.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  This is one of those where I know that they ask for pure death. I know that's the idea.

• 17:22Speaker 05

  I mean.

• 17:22Speaker 04

  And it's a part of the, like, I guess, like, side stories, L P O C L at Gmail dot com. I haven't seen a giant, like, stunt in a long time. Do we want to see him succeed, or are we happier when they die?

• 17:35Speaker 05

  No one watches this to watch them succeed. Everyone's watching to see him fall.

• 17:40Speaker 04

  But I do think that people are then upset when they do see him fall.

• 17:43Speaker 05

  Yes, because it's upsetting to watch someone die.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 17:46Speaker 05

  People make a lot of, make a lot of decisions and watch a lot of things that make them upset.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  See, this is, this guy did a base jumping thing, right? So I guess he had walked on a slack line before he did that, and he.

• 17:56Speaker 05

  His name was Sketchy.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 17:58Speaker 05

  Andy Sketchy Lewis.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  Hmm, his name should have been Smacky.

• 18:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:04Speaker 04

  Splaties?

• 18:05Speaker 05

  He's famous for, he was the guy who performed during Madonna's Super Bowl halftime show in 2012. And he died in a base jumping accident in Utah.

• 18:14Speaker 04

  Now, what is that? That just means he just jumped, right? And then he.

• 18:18Speaker 05

  He hit, he hit a bunch of, he bad lieutenanted some, some heroin.

• 18:22Speaker 04

  He did?

• 18:23Speaker 05

  No, I'm just saying free ba, it's base, base jumping, free basing.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  I was about to say, this is about the stories, but it'll get a lot better.

• 18:28Speaker 05

  No, no, no, he just fell, and it's kind of sad. But here's the thing is, if a daredevil never dies.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  Then what's the point?

• 18:35Speaker 05

  Then what's the point of the whole genre?

• 18:38Speaker 04

  There, I know, I think that.

• 18:39Speaker 05

  They have to die occasionally.

• 18:41Speaker 04

  I also feel like in this way, this man died, that, in a way that would make him extremely happy. I think, you know, if he was gonna die this way, I bet you he'd much rather die doing a base jump than dying of pancreatic cancer, like, laying in a hospice.

• 18:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:57Speaker 04

  I imagine that he never really even thought about having grandchildren surrounding him in a deathbed and him, like, you know, whittling and stuff like, he probably didn't even, that's probably not even in his mind.

• 19:08Speaker 05

  It's probably what he wanted.

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Because what's his name? Who's the guy that does all the, like, the climbs, like, essentially flat surfaces, that they give five, 500 K to? The guy that, that other man?

• 19:17Speaker 05

  The guy did the Netflix thing that was so boring?

• 19:19Speaker 04

  Free balling, what's it called?

• 19:20Speaker 05

  Free, oh, the free solo.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  Free soloing?

• 19:22Speaker 05

  Free soloing.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, he goes up there and he does that, he just hates his girlfriend so much.

• 19:26Speaker 05

  There's a free solo guy died too this week.

• 19:28Speaker 04

  Another free solo guy died?

• 19:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, free solo climber dies after falling into a volcanic crater. Um, yeah, no, that happened this week too. And there was the chick who, uh, died bunch of jumping, but they never attached the corridor.

• 19:41Speaker 04

  I think this is about the Gemini, uh, moon.

• 19:44Speaker 05

  Yeah. Is it in retrograde?

• 19:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think it's the Gemini moon.

• 19:47Speaker 05

  It's a bad moon for daredevils.

• 19:49Speaker 04

  Mm, it is. I just think that there's maybe there was a like bad shipment of grippy socks. Do you think that there was like, there's like one systemic factor that might've led to all of this? Like a, a carabiner metal shortage or like a, like what's killing these guys?

• 20:07Speaker 05

  I mean, you know, just time. I think, um, sketchy did have-

• 20:11Speaker 04

  It was time for a group of them to die at once.

• 20:13Speaker 05

  If you call yourself sketchy and you walk between sky rises on a string, you're gonna die.

• 20:20Speaker 04

  You're gonna die.

• 20:21Speaker 05

  Eventually you're gonna die.

• 20:22Speaker 04

  And I do think that is the point. I do think the point of it is to eventually like, that's the circus life.

• 20:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, he holds, um, Guinness Book World Records for walking a slack line above a waterfall in China.

• 20:33Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 20:34Speaker 05

  And he had a, previously he beat his own record after he did it in Las Vegas.

• 20:38Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 20:39Speaker 05

  Yeah. And so he's performed stunts on at least three different continents and-

• 20:42Speaker 04

  But why would they go over a big con- like a literal sizzling volcano?

• 20:47Speaker 05

  Oh, well, no, I think it was dormant. It was in Yemen. Uh, this is a different guy who fell- Yemen. Yeah, I know. I saw, I thought the same thing.

• 20:53Speaker 04

  I always do.

• 20:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, I can't help it.

• 20:55Speaker 04

  Every single day, is that, am I the only person that does it whenever they see the word Yemen?

• 20:58Speaker 05

  See, I'm more like- Yemen. See, mine's more like Yemen. Yemen. Mine's a little, mine's a little chill. Yemen. Yemen. Yemen. Yeah, but, uh, yeah, so he-

• 21:10Speaker 05

  So, yeah, yeah.

• 21:12Speaker 04

  Fucking broken brains. That's what that is.

• 21:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, but you know-

• 21:16Speaker 04

  Why did they all die at once?

• 21:18Speaker 05

  It's free, so I don't know. It was just a coincidence that it all kinda happened at once.

• 21:21Speaker 04

  But you know, I feel like though that's almost good for the industry.

• 21:24Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 21:25Speaker 04

  Right? Like if they all go at once, if it's like a big thing and brings a lot of people back. Cause like, I very rarely like, is there a mailing list for daredevil stunts?

• 21:33Speaker 05

  I have no idea. I'm so far removed from the community, it couldn't be ridiculous.

• 21:37Speaker 04

  Well, like, why don't we get those, like, I feel like these things should be advertised more. Like, why are we not being invited to more daredevil stunts?

• 21:44Speaker 05

  They should be on TV more. You know what it is? All right. So let's look at-

• 21:48Speaker 04

  Like what, like, I feel like there's like a local thing-

• 21:50Speaker 05

  Sketchy real quick. Look at sketchy. Look at Andy Lewis, Andy Sketchy Lewis. You know what it is? He's dressed like shit. Evel Knievel fucking came out, beautiful suit, made nudie suit type of shit.

• 22:05Speaker 04

  You don't have to.

• 22:05Speaker 05

  Had a great helmet.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  You know that you're already walking down my street because I do believe that.

• 22:10Speaker 05

  This guy's fucking dressed horribly.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  He's lazy.

• 22:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:12Speaker 05

  You know, it's like, take your time. Think about every aspect of the show.

• 22:16Speaker 04

  Dress the job, dress for the job you want.

• 22:18Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 22:18Speaker 04

  And he looks like he's dressed like a messy corpse.

• 22:20Speaker 05

  You should always look better than the audience. That's what part of being a performer.

• 22:25Speaker 04

  I agree. I feel like if that's a thing that we've lost.

• 22:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:29Speaker 04

  On the whole, and I do think that that might have led to, maybe if he took himself and his appearance more seriously, he would have taken his job more seriously.

• 22:35Speaker 05

  Oh my God. Nothing's worse than when you show up to see a fucking band and they're in shorts.

• 22:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, oh, I'm serious.

• 22:41Speaker 05

  I've talked about this. I won't wear pants on stage. I was taught by that, by, I was taught that by in high school.

• 22:46Speaker 04

  You wear pants on stage.

• 22:47Speaker 05

  You only wear pants on stage.

• 22:48Speaker 04

  Only wear pants on stage.

• 22:49Speaker 05

  That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't, you can't wear shorts, even in the hottest, most horrible conditions.

• 22:54Speaker 04

  You're giving people power.

• 22:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  If you wear shorts.

• 22:58Speaker 05

  It better be over a hundred at an outdoor festival.

• 23:00Speaker 04

  If you're wearing shorts as a performer, you're telling the audience, I'm not better than you.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, heckle me, do whatever you want to me.

• 23:08Speaker 04

  Respect me. That's what you're saying. Disrespect me. Here's my shins.

• 23:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:12Speaker 04

  Hey, don't you hate the top? Don't you want to see, oh, great, it's Alice Cooper's socks.

• 23:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:17Speaker 04

  That's what I want to see.

• 23:22Speaker 05

  But, you know.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  No, honestly, it makes me.

• 23:24Speaker 05

  I'm sorry, sketchy died.

• 23:25Speaker 04

  Yes, it's not about that. I don't think, it's not like, this is, if there is one subject in which.

• 23:31Speaker 05

  The Yemeni Spider-Man, I'm sorry, he died.

• 23:33Speaker 04

  Yes, well, that turns out he met the Yemeni hobgoblin. And you have to be careful when you meet these guys, these unregulated, non-union supervillains. Like, they are out there, you know, these are just the knockoff supervillains from over here, and they don't have any rules.

• 23:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, you know what I think it might have been is, yeah, I'm noticing this, sketchy Andy Lewis, we're looking at his Instagram page, 411,000. I think the problem is. This is Daredevil shit has all gone to social media.

• 24:03Speaker 04

  It has.

• 24:04Speaker 05

  Evel Knievel had like.

• 24:06Speaker 04

  Television.

• 24:06Speaker 05

  It was television.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  Television.

• 24:07Speaker 05

  People were making sure he wasn't gonna die, making sure that the stunt was advertised correctly.

• 24:12Speaker 04

  It's almost like what you're illustrating is a point that the central media tent, like tent poles are a useless functionary money laundering system and probably wouldn't be the all in all and the most legitimate source to use for disclosure. You'd think that maybe even that the Daredevils could teach somebody like Steven Spielberg, that maybe.

• 24:40Speaker 05

  Henry had a bad time with Disclosure Day.

• 24:42Speaker 04

  Maybe they didn't need to go to a news station and all of this rigmarole, like you could have cut an hour and 15 minutes out of that fucking movie where they could have just posted to YouTube, but it's fine.

• 24:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, but then they would have died like sketchy.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  You know, it's almost like there's an internet that's like freely available and that the guy that's the super hacker that got the information in the first place.

• 25:10Speaker 05

  Are these spoilers?

• 25:13Speaker 05

  I don't think it matters.

• 25:13Speaker 04

  No, they know.

• 25:14Speaker 05

  It's a popcorn movie.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  You know what the movie's about Disclosure Day.

• 25:16Speaker 05

  It's called Disclosure Day.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  Spoilers, if it's just a, literally Eddie, if I, I agree with you, if we want to take about away any sort of the political importance or anything about the message, if we just strip that from the movie, you're right, it is an absolutely fine 6.5 out of 10 action adventure movie you can take your grandmother to.

• 25:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's what I liked about it.

• 25:38Speaker 04

  That's what a lot of people like.

• 25:39Speaker 05

  I like the Kaminsky cinematography.

• 25:42Speaker 04

  I just feel like there's a thing that you could have done within that in which you could have maybe looked at a newspaper or, or maybe like pulled your head out of your, your ass, I'm gonna say ass, in terms of the subject, if you maybe say that you're one of the most educated creators in all of the subject of ufology and you're Steven Spielberg, you'd think he might have a different view on some stuff or he might have learned something about how the world works. But it's fine, he's just in his own crystal castle.

• 26:13Speaker 05

  He is in a giant property.

• 26:15Speaker 04

  He's in a giant crystal castle in which he doesn't.

• 26:17Speaker 05

  He's got a compound, a couple of compounds.

• 26:18Speaker 04

  He does a grocery shop, he doesn't fucking go to concerts, he doesn't see humans, he probably gets, he probably just talks right to Robert Bigelow who's telling him fake things. It's a whole thing. We'll get to it. We'll save this.

• 26:30Speaker 05

  Are you in too deep with aliens that you can no longer enjoy stuff?

• 26:35Speaker 04

  You know what it is, is...

• 26:38Speaker 05

  That's not a slight. I'm just curious.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  I, I wonder. I actually have been trying to parse out why I'm having such an intense reaction. And like, cause I really did. And a lot of people I feel like are, are talking like me where it's like, why can't I just, like it's a Spielberg popcorn movie. Like what, what is wrong with me? And I think that the reason why is because it speaks to, he's writing a movie for a bunch of, uh, uh, he's writing movie for a world that doesn't exist.

• 27:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:06Speaker 04

  It doesn't exist. We're literally in disclosure right now. It's like, it's hap- it's like happening.

• 27:13Speaker 05

  But the footage sucks.

• 27:14Speaker 04

  Yes. And it's also, the problem is, is that it's, it's, it's not a fantasy.

• 27:20Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:20Speaker 04

  It's not a fantasy. The United States government has already disclosed their stuff, guys. It happened.

• 27:26Speaker 05

  You think that's everything?

• 27:27Speaker 04

  No, it's not even about that. That's everything.

• 27:29Speaker 05

  Do you think they have footage of an actual being?

• 27:31Speaker 04

  I think that they had any of that, they would have destroyed it a long time ago.

• 27:35Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 27:35Speaker 04

  I don't think any of that would ever see the light of day. I think the best part of the Disclosure Day movie was his filming of the old, the old, like lore parts. I thought that was the best stuff.

• 27:45Speaker 05

  I'm like, I'm just gonna love this.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  That's the movie I wanna see is that stuff.

• 27:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Versus this, like if you wanna use-

• 27:51Speaker 05

  You wanna see the incident? You wanna watch Close Encounters of the Third Kind is what you wanna watch.

• 27:54Speaker 04

  Basically, uh, I would just say to you, go watch Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It's the same fucking movie, but better.

• 27:59Speaker 05

  I think they're re-releasing it this year.

• 28:01Speaker 04

  Go see it because it is the same movie with the same message about the same stuff. And it is done by somebody who actually lived a life amongst human beings. And Steven Spielberg has just lost touch and you just think for somebody that probably has access to more information than any one of us ever has ever had, I imagine he has access to people he could talk to, anybody. And I feel like he still served an extremely lukewarm, uh, uh, coke fest.

• 28:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:33Speaker 04

  That was not-

• 28:36Speaker 04

  Where we need the message to be right now. Hmm. And that's the problem is it's just like, it's just a movie made by a guy that doesn't know, it seems like it's just made by a guy that has no idea what's happening to the last 15 years. He wanted to make a lot of fun action movie. He did. Is what it seems like. And he could have made it about anything. And I feel like that's my problem is I feel like he could have just made an alien movie without making it this movie. He's made five alien movies so far, and I put this at number four. So do with that with what you will. What is number? Number five. Number five. Indiana Jones and a Chris Cole is god awful. Yeah, I agree. It should be shot out of a cannon. Yeah, I agree.

• 29:07Speaker 05

  Is E.T. number one?

• 29:09Speaker 04

  Yes, I love E.T. with all of my heart. Close Encounters, E.T. I love Minority Report. That's not an alien movie. War of the Worlds, I love War of the Worlds. Except for the end. Yes, War of the Worlds. Probably would have been number one if that end, if that kid did, if that kid stayed dead. Yep. I would have put it number one. I don't, that's the whole thing. Also, the man who created fucking dinosaurs can't make a fucking, a remotely tangible alien costume. You didn't like the way it looked? It's CGI. Of course it's CGI. What do you mean, of course it's CGI? I'm actually getting angry. Yeah. You mean, of course it's CGI? He's legitimately like, it's like, what in the living fuck are we doing here? Like, you're just. He lost that sauce a long time ago. Yeah, I just like, looked at that and I was like, this is fucking garbage. With all of the CGIs, fucking garbage.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  It's so funny, because I looked at it, I saw the movie, I enjoyed it, I give it like, but I also like, it's a B. You know, for me, it's not an A, by any means, you know, like. Oh, no, if you strip all of this context away from it, I'd call it a solid B, B minus. Yeah, see, what I like about the movie is, are you ready for this? It's so basic, this is how low my bar has gone. It's not a fucking sequel. It's an original idea, that's a summer movie, and I, and I fucking, and I'm giving my money to it just for that reason. I totally understand, I just wish our bar wasn't this low right now, especially for our masters. Especially for the OG masters, and the fact that he. They're old, they need to, they need to slowly start fading out, and they are. Scorsese is doing better work than he's done in years, he's doing fucking incredible work.

• 30:34Speaker 05

  Not the Irishman.

• 30:35Speaker 04

  I love the Irishman, except for the, again, except for the digital shot, Sheridan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, what did you think about Martin Scorsese in Mando and Grogu? I thought he was hilarious. Does he suck his own dick in that as well, or is it just Grogu? No, he actually blows Grogu. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but he checks his ID, he checks his ID. I guess it's like, I've been trying, you want to know why, honestly?

• 30:57Speaker 04

  Let me just make sure, let me make sure. You know what honesty Eddie is that? My heart's been broken. And I find, you know what they say? The hard, most hardened cynic was always the one that had his heart open the most. And I think it's because when I was a little boy and I thought it, when I was first engaging with the mystery of UFOs and the idea of a government conspiracy and the idea of a cover up and all this other kind of stuff was filled with a wonder for me and was filled with this idea that life was more complicated than everybody was pitching it to me as, as it was versus the priests and shit. And I think that when I then watched this movie about what's really had, like, I, I guess there's a part of me that's like, that's gone.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  It's gonna have been a much better movie if it came out 20 years ago.

• 31:39Speaker 04

  Yes, when he wrote it, when he came up with the concept 30 years ago. I think that I, um, am just one of those where I look at this and, um, my heart breaks because that world doesn't exist. Because the idea of everybody going like, oh my God, there's aliens. When literally I just showed one of the preeminent drag queens in our country, literally the best footage that I have ever seen of a UFO. And they're, we're all like, alright. That's where we're at. The, where we're at is, is we can't even get the United States, the people of the United States government to punish, uh, our president of the United States who is a convicted rapist and a pedophile. And when we're at that level, I don't think that disclosure's fixing everything.

• 32:20Speaker 04

  Let's just say the aliens aren't gonna, the complications brought about it ain't gonna fix it. And if they're fucking biological in nature, they're gonna kill and eat us and they're lying to you. They're lying. The aliens are lying to us. If they're real, they tell everybody something different. If you believe in the secret lore of the actual alien structure of the government and you believe what they're, it's like, let's just say you really believe in that conspiracy theory. If you actually look at it, the aliens are telling everybody they need something different. So the aliens are lying.

• 32:59Speaker 05

  Or no one can understand them.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  Yes. Have you seen this picture that's been going around this week? It's not real. Talking to the Nordics, yes, it's fake. Yeah.

• 33:06Speaker 05

  It's not, it's a, it's an AI picture.

• 33:08Speaker 04

  So even if the aliens are real, they're lying. We don't fit into their agenda. We have nothing to do with their agenda. If they have gotten here physically, it's because they're either running from something or they're running to something because they've ran out of resources. This is what's happening, guys. That's the reality. We're not, or we're zoo. And then, great.

• 33:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:31Speaker 04

  What do we fucking do about that? Fucking nothing.

• 33:34Speaker 05

  I just think they would have killed us by now.

• 33:36Speaker 04

  No, it's because they, because we don't matter to them. We're ants. We're literally just whatever to them.

• 33:40Speaker 05

  We kill ants all the time.

• 33:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, but, but we also kill them accidentally.

• 33:43Speaker 05

  Someone killing my ants right now.

• 33:44Speaker 04

  But you know what I mean? Like, they don't, but just because it's like that, they, we just don't figure into their plans. We're just on a part, we have bigger ideas than us. And they couldn't fucking care. Couldn't care fucking less. And then like, that's, that's why I get angry is because we're learning nothing from the phenomenon. We're learning nothing. We don't understand that this is, it's just this, this whole thing. I think the real secret, the very real secret is what I've been saying all along, is that they've got stuff and they've been trying to make stuff out of it. And they have no idea what it is. And they've been maybe contacted by, if it's, again, if all of this is real, every single layer of it, they've been, they've talked to somebody who's told them something different. I think that they are paralyzed.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  I think the FBI and the CIA and all these various fucking three-letter institutions that are looking at all this shit are absolutely flabbergasted and don't know what to do. And they don't know why it doesn't pay attention to us. And they don't know how to make it pay attention to us. And they don't know anything fucking about it. So then they, they, now, we are in a truly malicious administration that is using this and weaponizing it against just humans. So like, that's the problem.

• 34:56Speaker 05

  What if we're their reality show?

• 34:58Speaker 04

  I mean, I think-

• 34:59Speaker 05

  What if they're like filming us for a documentary, kind of like how we make Planet Earth?

• 35:03Speaker 04

  Or like, that incredible show, The Paper on NBC. No, I, yeah, yeah, it's very possible. Who knows?

• 35:09Speaker 05

  Jerry Corbell says, uh, he's seen everything and there is real disclosure coming.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  From where? From who?

• 35:17Speaker 05

  I don't know, we're gonna talk to him eventually, so yeah, so we'll find out. But he, he did say that recently and it-

• 35:23Speaker 04

  If you show somebody an alien, they will not believe it. If you show, if you brought an alien, can you imagine an alien walking onto Bill Maher? That's what that, that's what that movie is. Disclosure Day to me is, huh, I wonder if the alien be able to handle himself on Bill Maher's show? With his political antics.

• 35:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, he seemed pretty sick.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, good.

• 35:44Speaker 05

  The-

• 35:48Speaker 05

  I had a great time, Henry didn't, uh, use that information, but I will take this opportunity to plug movie stories. Our new show that is on Sirius, it's a Sirius XM exclusive, but it's also the video footage from that same show is available on our Patreon. So go check that out if you get a chance. I think that's a good idea. And also, I want to say, real quick, I went to go see The Death of Robin Hood last night at a sneak preview. A24 invited me and I went and I had a great time. Um, it's fucking brutal. If you like a brutal ass fucking movie, that's not the real story of Robin Hood, it's like their own story of Robin Hood. Go see this fucking movie when it comes out, it's fucking brutal. Lots of stabs.

• 36:27Speaker 04

  Fuck yeah, dude.

• 36:27Speaker 05

  Hell yeah.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  Just know, we don't receive any money for these things.

• 36:30Speaker 05

  No, no, no, this is just me having a good time, being like, oh, I sat next to the director.

• 36:34Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 36:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, during the movie. It was the crazy, he also directed Pig, which I fucking love. And, uh, the whole time, I was just like, oh, I was so nervous to react or not to react.

• 36:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, but then I left before the Q and A. Yeah, I didn't want to talk to him. But, but yeah, no, but I remember just putting, oh yeah, give him a couple of those, just so he like, you know, felt good about himself.

• 36:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, good, that fat guy likes it. Great, that's all I need.

• 36:55Speaker 05

  Yes, I need him, I need him.

• 36:56Speaker 04

  I need forty thousand more fat men, a hundred thousand more fat men.

• 37:00Speaker 05

  So if you're fat and you like to watch people get stabbed in the neck, check out Death of Robin Hood.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  That is what I want to hear. That's exactly what I like to hear.

• 37:13Speaker 05

  We have a great guest joining us.

• 37:14Speaker 04

  I can't wait to go through these stories. This person, like honestly, I'm a huge fan of the, of our guests. They are genuinely into light, funny as fuck, evil as you want her to be. Put your ears on the headphones.

• 37:31Speaker 05

  I think that's, yeah, yeah. You can clap at home if you want. Give it up for Alaska Thunderfuck, five thousand.

• 37:38Speaker 05

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• 38:56Speaker 04

  So before we get into our MMA update today, I want to ask you, kind of, first of all, before we even get into it, what are your supplements? Like, what are you on right now? And kind of like, what, like, I'd love to know what your weight routine is.

• 39:09Speaker 05

  I thought you were gonna say, "What are your pronouns?" I was like, "Wow, thank you for asking." I literally thought my mind auto-completed that.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  No, you're on a straight man podcast, okay? We talk about supplements.

• 39:27Speaker 04

  What are pronouns?

• 39:29Speaker 05

  Oh, my God.

• 39:33Speaker 05

  I saw a shirt, this is really inappropriate, I shouldn't say it, I'm gonna say it. No, it's just a place for it. There's a shirt that was like, "Oh, you like pronouns? Well, uh, levy she slash them titties."

• 39:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, come on, thank you. And honestly, I really appreciate being seen in that way.

• 39:49Speaker 05

  We're done, we're done, I'm gonna go.

• 39:53Speaker 05

  That was horrible.

• 39:54Speaker 04

  Do you take it, take it down, take it down the pipe, Eddie.

• 39:56Speaker 05

  Take it down the pipe?

• 39:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:58Speaker 05

  Well, we're joined here by Alaska Thunderfuck 5000. You are an alien, a drag queen alien from the planet Glamtron. Disclosure. Thank you.

• 40:09Speaker 04

  Don't bring it up, I'm more angry.

• 40:13Speaker 04

  We're gonna talk about all about it.

• 40:14Speaker 05

  But you got a new song out called Revolution, it's your first release in four years. Oh my god, yeah. And it is, uh, the whole album's coming out soon and it's produced by the amazing Ash Gordon, friend of the show.

• 40:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 40:25Speaker 05

  She, uh, Ash did the, the song at the end of the Halloween album.

• 40:29Speaker 04

  Yes, they work with us, Ash Gordon, and we work with, uh, Isaac Hansen, and we created our song, we are the band, Mask for Trash.

• 40:35Speaker 05

  Indeed. But Revolution is out now on all streaming platforms, if you wanna listen to it in this moment, press pause, go to wherever you listen to music, listen to Revolution, enjoy it, put it on your playlist for June, and have a good time.

• 40:49Speaker 04

  Pause.

• 40:50Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 40:51Speaker 04

  Done, completed, now we're back in.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  It was really great, thank you very much for being here.

• 40:57Speaker 05

  So, my supplements, you are asking me?

• 41:00Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 41:01Speaker 05

  Um, I work out reluctantly.

• 41:04Speaker 04

  Well, we all have to.

• 41:06Speaker 05

  Yes. I walk. I hate every second of it, but I do it, and then I drink like, plant-based protein, and then I have been drinking a little bit of like, creatine with it.

• 41:18Speaker 04

  Same. It makes me feel bigger and stronger and wider.

• 41:23Speaker 05

  Yeah. It's probably just placebo powder, but I feel so fierce doing it.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  What was your reaction to the UFC fight, did it meet your expectations of that was on the White House lawn this weekend?

• 41:35Speaker 05

  I don't, I didn't see it. Yeah, I know nothing about it.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  You missed it?

• 41:38Speaker 05

  Who was that?

• 41:39Speaker 04

  Um, I believe it was, it was, um, Vladimir Bl- Bl- Blanca Stunk? Versus Dustin Jimenez? I'm making up, I mean, I feel like that's the races that would be there.

• 41:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:51Speaker 04

  And I feel like they fought each other and then the man came out and yelled about Michelle Obama. I saw that and that made me upset.

• 41:57Speaker 05

  Oh, I heard about that. Like, this is the equivalent of, fuck it right in the pussy, remember that? Yeah. On the news. They'd be like, what do you think about this issue? Fuck it right in the pussy!

• 42:10Speaker 04

  But my question is, why fight? Why not hug? Why not kiss?

• 42:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, thank you. No, I don't know what's going on with that. The, the movie Idiocracy has become a documentary.

• 42:20Speaker 04

  We were talking about that, but President Camacho has a moral code. Dude, President Camacho is a better president than Trump. He literally listens to his advisors. That whole movie's about-

• 42:31Speaker 05

  He stops using the Gatorade.

• 42:33Speaker 04

  President Camacho learns and grows in the film.

• 42:38Speaker 05

  Now, here, uh, on the White House lawn, we had a mechanical bull. Um, yeah, that was-

• 42:44Speaker 04

  The audience was fighting each other?

• 42:46Speaker 05

  Audience fought each other many, many times. And the, uh, the watch party for the UFC 250, or I get, yeah, the America 250, Trump's birthday, so on and so forth. Uh, it was held, uh, on the exact same place where Trump held the rally that led to the insurrection on January 6th. Oh, oh, it's poetic.

• 43:06Speaker 04

  It is.

• 43:09Speaker 05

  I've, I've read someone, uh, one comment that I saw that was great, like, "This event is gonna be in the history books in a bad way."

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 05

  Like, this is, uh, the, we're gonna, they're gonna show, like, this is the depths, hopefully this is the furthest down we go. But from a lot of the, uh, I guess, reports that I read from it, uh, one guy said, "I haven't felt this good about politics in a decade." Because it's just so ineffectual. It, it, it's so weird and-

• 43:39Speaker 04

  Did you see the bald eagle on a chain?

• 43:43Speaker 05

  What?

• 43:43Speaker 04

  Yeah. There's a bald eagle on a chain so it can fly around the audience and not leave.

• 43:48Speaker 05

  But not go away.

• 43:53Speaker 05

  He also gave away a gold coin with his face on it, uh, that's worth, uh, $12,000. Oh my. Yeah.

• 43:59Speaker 04

  But can we also ask, like, why are his actions, like, we're all in the House of Rue, right? Why are his actions like a drag queen in many ways in terms of the way he can really press out some merch? And I think that that's-

• 44:13Speaker 05

  Girl, she can.

• 44:14Speaker 04

  And like, where's your coin?

• 44:17Speaker 05

  He's, no, he, uh, where's my coin?

• 44:19Speaker 04

  Your coin? This is, I feel like you guys can learn lessons-

• 44:21Speaker 05

  It's funny you mention that. Available now on alaskathunderfuck.com. I'm just-

• 44:27Speaker 05

  But wait, I am selling something. Oh, yeah, I'll take it. It's because I am a drag queen. This is what we do. This is the Alaska Thunderfuck Blue Fuzzy Bucket Hat.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 44:38Speaker 00

  It's really cute.

• 44:39Speaker 05

  That's honestly great.

• 44:40Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 44:41Speaker 05

  This is the, the equivalent of my Trump gold coin. Yeah. Thank you. This is my eagle on a chain. Airplane pillow. I know, yeah, you could.

• 44:50Speaker 04

  Can you please bring an eagle to a chain on one of your live shows?

• 44:54Speaker 05

  I've been trying for years. He meant it like, you know, but we're in the House of Rue and all that. One of my favorite Instagram guys right now is a dude who lip syncs Trump speeches as a gay man. And says that he was born to be a gay, yeah, and he does all, yeah, has all the, you know, but what do you think about that? Like, dude, because, because Trump so many times, like, this man is beautiful, he came out, oh my God, I was so, he was gorgeous.

• 45:21Speaker 04

  Look at the muscles on this guy.

• 45:22Speaker 05

  I couldn't believe how, how, I just, I, I, I have to go now. Like, do you think that he channels that at all? He's just deeply disturbed. Like, I don't know what's going on with the gentleman. I just don't, but he smells really bad, I think.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  What's wrong with men?

• 45:42Speaker 05

  That's a great question, Hannah. I don't, I, I think it's unfair to generalize about all men. Like, there's a lot of, like, oh, men should die kind of narrative. And I don't, I actually don't believe that. I think there are good men, they're just not that fucking loud, because the bad ones are really, really loud. So like, there's a lot of good men, they're just like, shutting the fuck up and like- Not being annoying.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it's a problem, but they feel like on some point, they gotta go beat up the other big loud men. How do you make nice, quiet men, big other, nice, quiet men into big loud men, but for good reasons?

• 46:21Speaker 05

  I don't want to.

• 46:22Speaker 04

  Oh, no!

• 46:23Speaker 05

  I don't know. We just need like a specific virus that like takes out the, the wrong one.

• 46:29Speaker 04

  You know what the problem is?

• 46:30Speaker 05

  Is that insane?

• 46:31Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 46:31Speaker 05

  Is that like, I shouldn't say that.

• 46:33Speaker 04

  No, it's what Planet the Apes is all about.

• 46:35Speaker 05

  It is?

• 46:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:37Speaker 05

  Okay. Ed just loves monkeys and he's just happy that all the men died and it's just monkeys left.

• 46:42Speaker 04

  Well, some of them be caged.

• 46:46Speaker 04

  That's their problem. They just turn into people. So, speaking of turning into people. I had a quick question before we go too far off of the, I, I look at our president and I, and I'm like, this has gotta take a long time to get ready. Like with the makeup and the hair.

• 47:01Speaker 05

  Oh, girl.

• 47:01Speaker 04

  What do you think? How long do you think it takes? What are they using? What do you notice? What's wrong? What's right?

• 47:06Speaker 05

  I like to have two hours to like get into drag.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:11Speaker 05

  And he probably, I mean, he, it looks shoddily applied.

• 47:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, like you look incredible.

• 47:17Speaker 05

  Approximately applied. Thank you. It was in my contract that you had to say that.

• 47:23Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 47:24Speaker 05

  Um, no, it's shot, it's approximately applied, um, and it's not good. The hair system is quite in-depth though. So, that, that probably takes the longest.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Plugs, you think?

• 47:39Speaker 04

  Well, he's unfinished ride. We know that now.

• 47:41Speaker 05

  On what?

• 47:42Speaker 04

  He's on like Propecia. He's on like generalized Propecia. So, he's, he's definitely taking something for it. And I know that they do pattern it, but I do know that it is losing its strength.

• 47:54Speaker 05

  Does it? Yeah, there's gotta be some fakeness in there because, yeah, it doesn't seem like he would have a lot going on.

• 48:02Speaker 04

  It's all pushed around and it's meshed into a sort of a big pile on top.

• 48:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 04

  And I've seen it in person once. I did a bit for David Letterman once and he was there. And I watched him walk into a room and he does smell like a garbage dump. And he is about, he is probably five foot 11. And he goes through, uh, I remember going through green room snacks. I wasn't allowed to be in the room. I was put where the, um, the, all the garbage cans were. This is real. I was put in a hallway with a bunch of garbage cans so he could be alone in the room. And then I walked over and then they, they chewed me out even when I was in like alone in the room. Cause they said, this is room for Mr. Trump. And Mr. Trump went in there and all he did was stick his hands in all the food, like literally like pawed around all the food with his hands. And then just left. Oh. Yeah. That's our president. That's why I voted him for, voted him four times.

• 48:52Speaker 04

  Four times. That's hard. Through my parents, through me, I have a little Mexican man that I threatened. There's so many ways to vote.

• 49:01Speaker 05

  Is there a drag queen that is a nightmare in the green room like that? Just touches all the stuff? Alyssa Edwards.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  All right. I think it's time for us to get some important news.

• 49:15Speaker 05

  All right.

• 49:16Speaker 04

  Now we were heard, so you're an alien and we know that's a part of your shtick, but we know that, right? We know. But you also are interested in the subject.

• 49:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:25Speaker 04

  Currently, we are in what you'd call the peak days of disclosure. It has already happened. Uh, we have already, the US government has already unleashed every single thing that they already have. And guess what it is, Alaska? You said it right before we started recording.

• 49:41Speaker 05

  A dot.

• 49:42Speaker 04

  It's lots of dots.

• 49:43Speaker 05

  Moving dot.

• 49:44Speaker 04

  Lots of moving dots. Um, and it's lots of orbs. We love orbs here.

• 49:48Speaker 05

  Could be eye floaters.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  I get swimmies.

• 49:53Speaker 05

  Total.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  You getting swimmies?

• 49:55Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, all the time.

• 49:56Speaker 04

  Yeah. I don't know where, where that started. I think it's just.

• 49:59Speaker 05

  They're fun to follow.

• 50:00Speaker 04

  It's wisdom. But I'd love to show you one or just like, I want to get your take on, this is actual new footage. This came out several days ago. Uh, this was released as a part of the third gigantic release, which is part of why I don't, I get angry about this new UFO stuff. Is because it's all leading towards, uh, fighting against undocumented human beings. Like, so they're being a really, they're doing a really cute thing where they're tying humans and aliens together. Um, but I'll say the guys that worked on my front yard, they don't have anything like this. So like, let's look at this.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  So this is a video that was seen like now we don't know what this is they believe that this was filmed somewhere around the times you remember when we were dealing with all the uh the Chinese balloons in 2023

• 50:49Speaker 05

  Yeah the ones going to Alaska

• 50:51Speaker 04

  Yes

• 50:51Speaker 05

  Hey

• 50:52Speaker 04

  Yeah hey hey hey hey So this thing is like there are a lot of people saying like oh this is not a balloon

• 50:59Speaker 05

  It looks like a balloon but it exploded

• 51:00Speaker 04

  But they just exploded it right so whatever it was they blew it up and then including other weird little orbs flying around now this is not a part of the thing I guess this may or may not be the thing we shot over Lake Huron that is kind of what they're saying right now that this might be the object that we shot and then we couldn't find the debris of

• 51:20Speaker 05

  Okay

• 51:21Speaker 04

  Because it exploded into a bunch of million different pieces

• 51:24Speaker 05

  Can I ask a stupid question what's all the redacted stuff like what is that like

• 51:29Speaker 04

  I think it's like there is couple open penises I'm pretty certain that's a line of first lady vaginas they have those just so that you know that you can't see it

• 51:40Speaker 05

  That's the new seal

• 51:40Speaker 04

  Yeah yeah

• 51:43Speaker 05

  Cause Eleanor Roosevelt squatted on a bunch of stuff

• 51:49Speaker 04

  Like do you like where is your sense of wonder at right now Alaska

• 51:54Speaker 05

  In the toilet that that's a party balloon next what is that you guys

• 52:02Speaker 04

  Well it's like I don't know and

• 52:03Speaker 05

  Seriously we're not fucking with you Disclose something good there's gotta be something good that's like hello remember Alien autopsy

• 52:14Speaker 04

  Yeah

• 52:14Speaker 05

  Yeah it was awesome Oh bring that back disclose that

• 52:18Speaker 04

  I want to see the show Presidential Autopsy

• 52:24Speaker 04

  I mean it'll be next next year uh but this one okay so this one's better okay this is my problem because Alaska this is the exact problem is the fact that we don't know what we're doing with and they do look like several different things that obviously in my mind yeah of course it's a fucking balloon but they're telling us it's not

• 52:42Speaker 05

  But the way it blew up there was like chunks of stuff

• 52:45Speaker 04

  Yes

• 52:45Speaker 05

  You know balloons don't have chunks of stuff That's true

• 52:48Speaker 04

  The government is telling us straight up that's something we don't know what it is

• 52:55Speaker 04

  What does that mean?

• 52:55Speaker 05

  The government has never lied, so I believe, I believe them completely.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  I've always felt very at home with the government.

• 53:04Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, technically, you'd have to.

• 53:07Speaker 04

  Yes. I'm forced here. I can't not. So this one, to be honest, is one of the more interesting ones I've ever seen, just because it's the first time I'm ac- You're actually gonna see the movement of a UFO that they talk about in these reports.

• 53:25Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 53:25Speaker 04

  So this is an object that was filming, it's like right above the ocean. Uh, we know that it's solid because it can get a lock on it and then it goes up, right? It ramps up and then boom!

• 53:34Speaker 05

  Ooh.

• 53:35Speaker 04

  So that's what's weird. This is a thing, this is a, an example of UFO flight that I have not seen on one of these videos, which they actually show the, in an instant, it disappears.

• 53:48Speaker 05

  Like it noticed the, is this like taken from a fighter jet, I'm thinking?

• 53:51Speaker 04

  Yes, it was being tracked out on the middle of the ocean because people see stuff out there all the time, apparently.

• 53:58Speaker 05

  Can you, okay, can you play it again? And can you put, hold on, wait for it.

• 54:07Speaker 05

  Can you put the Sonic the Hedgehog music on it? Cause it looks like...

• 54:13Speaker 05

  It is like a bunch of rings. It's going along.

• 54:19Speaker 05

  It's like a really fun, like arcade game is what it looks like. Yeah, no, that's fierce.

• 54:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is interesting.

• 54:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  How would you, like hardcore disclosure, like how do you think it would affect you? Like, like genuinely, do you think that you, it would change the way you view the world? Or you think you'd just keep doing what you were doing?

• 54:39Speaker 05

  No, I, yeah, I think we would just keep doing what we were doing. And I, and I think that they, um, are just like, oh girl, we don't need to get in here all that. You know, like sort of when, like, like, we are a mess and they, they're like, just, you know, or bless them, you know? Bless their hearts.

• 55:00Speaker 04

  Do you think that there's any one scene that could bring them all together? Like the idea of like getting out there, like what's a good downtown city for the aliens to all meet together and like what's got a good scene out there? What's got a fun nightlife?

• 55:13Speaker 05

  What was the one in Independence Day where the people were like partying on the top of the roof?

• 55:18Speaker 04

  I mean, it was here in LA.

• 55:20Speaker 05

  The Capitol Records building.

• 55:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:22Speaker 05

  That, yeah, I would like to go there and I would be part of that party. I think that would be fun.

• 55:27Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 55:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I don't think they're gonna just blow us up. I think they're like, they want us to get better. They're praying for us.

• 55:35Speaker 04

  I, I mean, but, and prayers work.

• 55:38Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm. Are you scared of it? So you're not scared of aliens? No. Neither am I. Henry's deathly afraid of them.

• 55:44Speaker 04

  I personally believe if they are biological in nature, we should not be saying hello to them.

• 55:49Speaker 05

  Really?

• 55:50Speaker 04

  I think that if, I partially believe that the phenomenon is half psychic and that largely we're looking at an interdimensional thing. We're looking at something that we can't entirely collect evidence on because it's not entirely a part of our reality.

• 56:05Speaker 05

  Have you heard that they're us from the future?

• 56:07Speaker 04

  I love that one.

• 56:08Speaker 05

  That's my favorite one. Yeah. Have you heard that Bigfoot is actually a time traveler from the future? And the Bigfoot suit is the time travel suit?

• 56:17Speaker 04

  Ah!

• 56:18Speaker 05

  Isn't that fun? Is that your Bigfoot impression? Good. I actually like that one, yeah.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  But also, I like the idea too, what if Bigfoot's ghost of a caveman?

• 56:27Speaker 05

  Ah! Why would he be all hairy? Why would he be all tall?

• 56:32Speaker 04

  What if he's just a ghost of a caveman?

• 56:36Speaker 04

  No, it's like, there's, there's stuff like that, but then I do believe, like, it's not gonna change my day to day, but it would be nice, like, to write on my taxes, like, "Fuck you aliens!", right?

• 56:47Speaker 05

  How would you write that on your taxes?

• 56:48Speaker 04

  Big letters! Big paper forms, giant, fill out all the, print out all the paperwork, write it, and "Fuck you aliens!", fuck, fuck you!

• 56:57Speaker 05

  Yeah. I love that.

• 56:59Speaker 04

  I wanna go to them. I'm gonna go straight to the source. I'm sick of the middleman.

• 57:03Speaker 05

  If they, if it moved, okay, this, I'm still on this video. If it moves at the speed of light, then it would just go, it would just disappear because our vision is based on light. So like, that just like sped up a little bit.

• 57:19Speaker 04

  So it's probably just sound. Would they believe it moves at the speed of gravity? And so the, a part of what they, if they, if you believe the UFOs are a real machine, part of what they, way they think they could work is they create what's called in front of them a gravity well, which is essentially an absence of gravity in which then gravity, then they're pulled forward by this absence of gravity in front of them. So what they do is create this sort of, so they're moving at a, they're not like, that's why it allows them to like not be fucked by inertia on the inside. It's where they're not splattered against the walls.

• 57:52Speaker 05

  They're being pulled instead of pushed. It's like Futurama.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  It is.

• 57:55Speaker 05

  The Futurama ship, they're like, we actually don't go fast. We just move the whole universe around us. So we stay still.

• 58:02Speaker 04

  It is literally.

• 58:03Speaker 05

  Just watched that episode a few days ago. Yeah.

• 58:07Speaker 05

  And the smelloscope. Can we get that? Is that real? It's not, unfortunately not. Oh, it's not real.

• 58:12Speaker 04

  No, we wouldn't like that. I don't think we'd like a lot of the smells of the past. I think we'd be pretty unhappy with that.

• 58:18Speaker 05

  Smell what Pluto smells like.

• 58:19Speaker 04

  I am curious. Yeah, I don't know. Well, it smells like probably like blood. It's all made out of metal. Like what Dodge City smelled like. Yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 04

  All right, we got some other stories. We're gonna move on because I do want you to also, I want your take on this.

• 58:33Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 58:35Speaker 04

  Guy Fieri, first of all, let's, this is just, oh, just your, first of all, like, I say the words Guy Fieri to you, what's your first response?

• 58:43Speaker 05

  Drag.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  Yes, great. Yeah. Perfect. He puts the, I always think that he puts the sunglasses on the back of his head so. People get confused when they try to punch him in the face. I thought it was to discourage tiger attacks.

• 58:58Speaker 05

  Why do you put Guy Fieri like specifically in the drag category? He's just got that look and there's, there's queens who do him. Really? And it's very effective. I think he's been done on Snatch Game. If he hasn't, he should be immediately.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  Has he been done on Snatch Game? He should have been done on Snatch.

• 59:20Speaker 05

  Yeah. He's an instantly recognizable look and they're, these, this is so necessary for television. So I'm, I, I, I fucks with him.

• 59:31Speaker 04

  Do you also believe like the idea of, you know, I follow the works of Aleister Crowley, Anton LaVey, all these types of people creating a silhouette and an image and how much that's more, makes you almost more powerful than like just yourself as a, as a human?

• 59:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, like a cartoon character.

• 59:47Speaker 04

  Yeah. And then it sends you, is that a thing that you purposely think about when you put together your character? Or does it just kind of naturally come about that way?

• 59:54Speaker 05

  It has to come about naturally and organically, but then once it does, then you can like, be like, okay, this is my, this is what I look like.

• 1:00:03Speaker 04

  Yeah. Cause you change, obviously I've followed your career and you've like really, you've concreted yourself into this incredible form.

• 1:00:13Speaker 05

  I know. I'm known for wearing long blonde hair with a big blonde thing on top. And here I am in dark brown hair that doesn't have a thing on top.

• 1:00:23Speaker 04

  You contain multitudes.

• 1:00:24Speaker 05

  My image has been dismantled before your very eyes.

• 1:00:30Speaker 05

  No one can recognize me.

• 1:00:34Speaker 05

  All right. Well now this is, this, this guy, right?

• 1:00:37Speaker 04

  So Guy Fieri, he's, he's got a show, Diners, Drive-Ins and Dines.

• 1:00:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  But the new theory going around the internet is he ain't eating.

• 1:00:46Speaker 05

  True. Yeah, so it's like, there's lots, and then it seems silly.

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  But if the more you watch the show, and the more you see clips of the show, you start to see, he's not swallowing the food. And he might not even be biting the food.

• 1:01:02Speaker 05

  But it's not like he's thin. No. You would expect if he wasn't eating the food, he'd be thin. Does he chew?

• 1:01:09Speaker 04

  Sometimes.

• 1:01:10Speaker 05

  Sometimes. We have some clips.

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  Now, yeah, yeah, do we have some clips? Can we show the clips? It is kind of wild to think that, like, I think that he might eat, I, he might eat something like giant eggs, like those characters from Super Mario 2. It's more like giant, like,

• 1:01:26Speaker 05

  Look at that crop. I mean, big bird, yeah, big bird, yeah.

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  It just swallows one egg a week like a snake.

• 1:01:32Speaker 05

  Does he dye his hair gray? Look at this. What's happening? Look at this picture. You can spot who he is, and you can't even see his whole face. No, you're right. You know exactly who it is. It's just forehead and hair, and it's like, that's no one else but Guy Fieri. Um, yeah, but there's a new, a YouTuber, Doc Spaghetti, he is on the case. He's been watching every episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, and pointing out the exact moments

• 1:01:54Speaker 04

  He doesn't need to be a lawyer. He doesn't care what his father says. He watches Guy Fieri.

• 1:01:58Speaker 05

  All right, look at this. Okay, he bit.

• 1:02:02Speaker 05

  And he doesn't swallow. Watch. Well, he's biting, well, he's enjoying it. He's chewing, he's chewing, chewing. We don't know if there's anything in there.

• 1:02:09Speaker 04

  Cut.

• 1:02:09Speaker 05

  Cut. All right, now, watch the bite again. Watch the bite again. He doesn't actually bite. Now, here, that, this, What? Yeah, watch this.

• 1:02:17Speaker 05

  It's all sta- he didn't bite, he didn't bite anything.

• 1:02:19Speaker 04

  It was already bit. It was already fucking bit.

• 1:02:21Speaker 05

  It was already bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:23Speaker 04

  He fucking did a fucking phantom bite. It's a mind bite.

• 1:02:27Speaker 05

  Yeah. There's nothing going on. He rubbed his face against the sandwich. He didn't put anything in his mouth.

• 1:02:32Speaker 04

  He's eating, he's eating his pussy.

• 1:02:33Speaker 05

  All right.

• 1:02:35Speaker 05

  And I, and I said, actually, Alaska, you are actually uniquely qualified to, uh, comment on this, because you've been on a lot of reality TV. You were, you know, two seasons of Drag Race. Hmm. And you know, a lot of things have to be reshot, you know, moments have to be recreated. Do you think that they're just recreating a moment for, like, a better angle? This is, this is, I do know about this, because that's like lip syncing, but it's lip, lip sync eating.

• 1:03:04Speaker 04

  Yes, it is lip sync eating.

• 1:03:07Speaker 05

  This is very Golden Girls. She used to always, Blanche would always do this, because you can't sit there and eat the thing, because you have to straighten a line, so she'd be like, Oh, hello, girls.

• 1:03:22Speaker 05

  So, it's lipstick eating. And that's what she's doing, but. Hell, she never swallows.

• 1:03:29Speaker 04

  I mean, look at this. So they also showed this thing too, where he puts the, he does this move, which I've seen him do, where he fakes it, where he starts with it up by, he takes it up from the top, right? He's, he's taking it with the chopsticks and then it cuts to him just.

• 1:03:43Speaker 05

  There's nothing in the chopsticks.

• 1:03:44Speaker 04

  There's something in the chopsticks.

• 1:03:45Speaker 05

  And he's just holding the chopsticks, like, no, what is he doing? He's not eating. So here's the thing, though. I love it. You're going to five diners a day. You gotta fake a couple, right?

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  Yeah. But then there's a part of me.

• 1:03:57Speaker 05

  He can't eat all of it.

• 1:03:58Speaker 04

  But at what point?

• 1:03:59Speaker 05

  He'd be dead if he ate all of it.

• 1:04:00Speaker 04

  But if you're fat, you're fat fuck royalty, right? You're a Joey Chestnut. You're fat fuck royalty.

• 1:04:06Speaker 05

  He eats everything.

• 1:04:07Speaker 04

  As we know he does. But I'm just saying, like, if you're fat fuck royalty, to me, you need to be eating. Like Jelly Roll is a grace trader to his fat fuck world.

• 1:04:17Speaker 05

  That's why he's getting divorced.

• 1:04:18Speaker 04

  Exactly. I think the, I honestly think he lost the weight and that, and she fell out of love with him.

• 1:04:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's exactly what happened. She was like, I'm not living for those.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  I don't want him. His name is Jelly Roll, not Mr. Sticks, okay? Your job is to be a fat fuck. And so is Guy Fieri's job is to be a fat fuck.

• 1:04:38Speaker 05

  Yeah. How are you gonna sell donkey sauce, knowing that we know you don't eat?

• 1:04:46Speaker 04

  Would you believe a word Guy Fieri said if you found out he owned an elliptical?

• 1:04:54Speaker 05

  I think it's like, um, in like adult films. This is like, um. You're saying they don't eat? No.

• 1:05:04Speaker 05

  He, you know how they, they're like, I don't, this is like a gay thing, like, I'm not gonna bottom, like, I'm not, I'm just a top. And so then when they finally do bottom, it's like a big event. Uh, and so this is like that. So like, when he actually does eat, it's gonna be a, it's gonna be a major news day.

• 1:05:23Speaker 04

  Oh, my God. You, we should.

• 1:05:24Speaker 05

  He's saving it.

• 1:05:25Speaker 04

  We should do it on a, he should do a live stream for charity.

• 1:05:28Speaker 05

  Yes. I, Guy Fieri, am actually going to eat today.

• 1:05:36Speaker 05

  On the White House lawn.

• 1:05:41Speaker 04

  Every time he eats, we pay enough money to get one immigration lawyer to release one person from being held in an ICE detainment center.

• 1:05:49Speaker 05

  Period.

• 1:05:50Speaker 04

  And I honestly think that's a really good way to aim that.

• 1:05:53Speaker 05

  Let's do it.

• 1:05:54Speaker 04

  All right.

• 1:05:55Speaker 05

  Wait, if nobody wants to bottom, then who's bottoming the whole time? Well, there are plenty of us. Okay.

• 1:06:03Speaker 05

  There's plenty, there is no, no, this is the thing, there's a top shortage.

• 1:06:08Speaker 04

  What does that mean?

• 1:06:09Speaker 05

  I love that you're asking this because in the gay community is, is well known that everyone is a bottom all the time, like, and the, and the bottoms have a really hard time finding tops, and so they find one, and it's like, you know, we struck gold.

• 1:06:22Speaker 04

  And then do you then, is he then given to the community, to the bottom community?

• 1:06:27Speaker 05

  Yes, he does his service, and then he realizes that he's a bottom. And this is a circle of gay life. And I'm glad I could share it with you.

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  Is it just more fun to be, and more relaxing to be a bottom? Is it just more, just like, easygoing and just like, one of those where, is your life just funner that way and just more, you know, like?

• 1:06:46Speaker 05

  They love it.

• 1:06:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:48Speaker 04

  I've heard.

• 1:06:49Speaker 05

  They just can't get enough.

• 1:06:51Speaker 04

  I saw it in a magazine. I saw it in several very long magazines.

• 1:06:59Speaker 04

  All right, here we go, here we go, so this is actually a really good way, the good thing to end on. This, actually, yeah, because this guy would be a great top, but he's dead. I don't know if he would.

• 1:07:08Speaker 05

  Dead tops are the best.

• 1:07:15Speaker 04

  Okay, there we go. So this guy, this lucky dead human being, old British man from the 78 year, 78 year old, 78 years young instead, he donated his body to science because they found out he had three penises. And he had three penis, he had a top, he had a mane.

• 1:07:36Speaker 05

  He had an outside penis.

• 1:07:37Speaker 04

  Outside penises.

• 1:07:39Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:07:39Speaker 04

  But in his balls were two more penises.

• 1:07:43Speaker 05

  Two tiny penises just hiding, just hiding.

• 1:07:46Speaker 04

  And we have no idea if he knew that he had three. Three penises, or if he lived his entire 70 year old life, never knowing that he had three penises.

• 1:07:55Speaker 05

  Well, they said they would have found out if they ever had to give him a catheter.

• 1:07:59Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:07:59Speaker 05

  Because one of the, because the one of the penises, the P hole, the P was connected, went through one penis and then into the outside penis and then out the front door.

• 1:08:07Speaker 04

  I remember they called his urethra torturous.

• 1:08:11Speaker 05

  Is this? Torturous urethra. So outside penis, three inches, uh, three inches long.

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  This is gonna seem really humiliating if they did this to him too. They did measure all the penises.

• 1:08:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, second penis, 1.49 inches long and the third penis is 1.45 inches long. So you put them together, it's nice cock.

• 1:08:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, all together, that's one penis.

• 1:08:33Speaker 05

  Is that hard or soft measurement? It's gonna be soft because he's dead. Well, rigor mortis.

• 1:08:38Speaker 04

  Hey, I would pull it tight. If I was them, I'd pull it as long as I could pull it.

• 1:08:43Speaker 05

  Yeah. Measure from the taint. When I'm dead and you're measuring my dead penis, please pull it.

• 1:08:51Speaker 04

  Nobody measures, I measure mine from the bottom of my pocket. Yeah, yeah, that's what I do. I do a whole thing. It's a whole presentation. It's a whole, it's a, I put together stats. Yeah, yeah. This is, but like, what's the weirdest penis you've ever seen?

• 1:09:07Speaker 05

  That's no, we're not for this.

• 1:09:09Speaker 04

  Yep. What's the weirdest penis you've ever seen? Why not?

• 1:09:13Speaker 05

  I'm trying to think.

• 1:09:14Speaker 04

  Have you ever been to a place called Epstein Island?

• 1:09:20Speaker 05

  Actually, I, I haven't been on it, but I was really near it, like recently.

• 1:09:25Speaker 04

  Oh, do you go on like the sister island, the one that's like clo, the, like the neighbor island?

• 1:09:29Speaker 05

  St. John, St. Thomas, they're right there. St. Thomas?

• 1:09:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:32Speaker 05

  My mom was like, my friend has a place in St. Thomas, so where I'm going, do you wanna go? And I was like, yeah. So I went with my mom. And literally out the back, like patio, there it was. Actual Epstein ass island was like right there.

• 1:09:47Speaker 04

  Like you could have row boated to it.

• 1:09:49Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:09:49Speaker 04

  Jet ski is what they.

• 1:09:51Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:09:53Speaker 05

  They've like revamped it. They've tried to make, they took like the gold thing, like the blue and white thing, they like painted it just, just like beige. And they took the gold like satanic pyramid off. Uh, and so they're like, maybe no one will know. Is the.

• 1:10:10Speaker 04

  There is a.

• 1:10:11Speaker 05

  It was really scary.

• 1:10:12Speaker 04

  The project of you jet skiing to Epstein Island from St. Thomas is a long time. I have to push this. I have to pitch this to you and to a group of producers. We have got to do an island adventure. We've got to go.

• 1:10:30Speaker 05

  All right.

• 1:10:31Speaker 04

  You can be the first drag queen to ever go to Epstein Island.

• 1:10:34Speaker 05

  I know. And I won't eat. I won't.

• 1:10:41Speaker 04

  But that's the problem now. Man walking around with three penises and he can't tell anybody and he doesn't know. And you know, he's just some fucking weird man. You know, he's just some gross weird old British man who's like, oh, tops and toddlers.

• 1:10:58Speaker 04

  You know, like.

• 1:10:59Speaker 05

  It was kind enough to donate his body to science, knowing that he had three cocks. He donated three dicks. He didn't even know though. He probably literally never, I wouldn't know if I had three dicks in my balls. Yeah.

• 1:11:11Speaker 04

  In my balls.

• 1:11:13Speaker 05

  Just his balls hurt his whole life. Apparently he had lots of, uh, he had a hernia too. In his balls.

• 1:11:20Speaker 04

  It was his third dick getting hard.

• 1:11:24Speaker 04

  That's what it is. It's this little tiny dick responding to everything on the inside. It's probably the one making all the bad decisions.

• 1:11:31Speaker 05

  Right. Indoor dick, outdoor dick.

• 1:11:34Speaker 04

  My, if I had an indoor dick, that he would be, cause my outdoor dick is already filled with horrific thoughts and, and, and horrible energy. And the, the little penis behind him, can you imagine the Stephen Miller? Oh, penises, like the evil and the dick chani, the dick chani of your main penis is in your other balls.

• 1:11:55Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:11:56Speaker 04

  God.

• 1:11:56Speaker 05

  Yeah. Give it a dance.

• 1:12:01Speaker 05

  Alright, so I gotta ask this question. We were talking about this on the la- on the last episode of Side Stories. I need your opinion as a fashion icon. Okay. Handlebar mustache. Where do you li- where do you lie? Love it. You love it? Fierce. Really? Fashionable, flirty, very like, very like pride, like seventies, kind of.

• 1:12:23Speaker 04

  This lady was telling us a story, cause we, cause what I said, I appreciate men that have handlebar mustaches, cause I've also had difficult man facial hair before. And I find it takes to, from my perspective, it's a guy that has put a handlebar mustache in order to sort of like, be like, "Hey, hit me. Hey, someone come punch me." You know what I mean? Like, "Oh, someone come, everybody gather around, doesn't anybody wanna hit me?" And I now realize like, that's not true, cause I got a lot of messages from women that have said that specifically the handlebar mustache makes them feel safe. And then also, one woman was saying that she was riding a man with a handlebar mustache, and she said that it was the only time she's ever been asked to grab the bars of the mustache.

• 1:13:06Speaker 05

  The handlebars.

• 1:13:06Speaker 04

  And pull them while she was fucking them. Which, have you ever done that?

• 1:13:13Speaker 05

  I can honestly say I've never done that.

• 1:13:16Speaker 04

  Right?

• 1:13:16Speaker 05

  No. Uh, see, okay, see, I never thought of, I never thought of it that way. Is that why it's called a handlebar? I guess so.

• 1:13:26Speaker 04

  I don't think it's supposed to be, I don't think your lip is that strong.

• 1:13:29Speaker 05

  But does the handlebar mustache have different connotations in the gay and straight communities? Absolutely. So that, yeah, cause like a straight guy with a handlebar mustache. That's like a whole different story.

• 1:13:39Speaker 04

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 1:13:40Speaker 05

  It's like, yeah, like, I'm vintage. It's like, very cute. He's fun.

• 1:13:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, you were talking about IPA salesmen.

• 1:13:47Speaker 05

  It's different type of leatherwork.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I'm talking about a guy, and a lot of like, what, you know they got those, the, the, the, the light bulbs with just sort of the copper wiring around them?

• 1:13:58Speaker 05

  Uh huh, yeah, Edison.

• 1:13:59Speaker 04

  A ga- a gastropub.

• 1:14:01Speaker 05

  Yes, very.

• 1:14:02Speaker 04

  Yes, very much so.

• 1:14:03Speaker 05

  Yeah. A top with a handlebar, you know, uh, mustache, useless. Totally useless. Useless. What are you doing with it up there?

• 1:14:10Speaker 04

  I don't know. She said the main problem was, she said that where she started to kind of like, get out of it was like, the snap of it. She said that when she took it in the, like, the snap of the, the product in his little tips, that kind of bumped her out of the whole experience.

• 1:14:26Speaker 05

  Oh, I wonder if it gets really cold if it could snap off?

• 1:14:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, it can.

• 1:14:31Speaker 05

  Wow. That's how you get gum out of hair.

• 1:14:34Speaker 04

  Oh, cold?

• 1:14:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, you freeze it.

• 1:14:36Speaker 04

  Oh, no shit?

• 1:14:37Speaker 05

  Really? Or you, you freeze it and then you beat it with a hammer, or you put peanut butter on it. You're thinking of a Simpsons episode.

• 1:14:45Speaker 05

  Don't try, don't try getting it out with a bone. It only gets worse. You're thinking of 22 shorts films about Springfield, yep. Isn't, so wait, a handlebar must, that's a handlebar mustache.

• 1:15:00Speaker 04

  That's.

• 1:15:00Speaker 05

  I was thinking of this.

• 1:15:02Speaker 04

  Oh, the Fu Manchu?

• 1:15:04Speaker 05

  I was thinking of a totally different thing.

• 1:15:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're thinking of a more masculine. Yeah, Fu Manchu is awesome.

• 1:15:09Speaker 05

  Fu Manchu is awesome and fierce. See, I was thinking of the wrong thing.

• 1:15:14Speaker 04

  See, I was saying to replace the handlebar with the Fu Manchu.

• 1:15:18Speaker 05

  If you have to put wax in, no, I don't, I don't care. No, I don't want it.

• 1:15:23Speaker 04

  The horseshoe? That's just people wanting, I understand Fu Manchu does, is not societally correct anymore.

• 1:15:29Speaker 05

  Fu woman chew. Thank you. It's like attached.

• 1:15:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:15:34Speaker 05

  But like a handlebar has the like doopsie doopsie doo.

• 1:15:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I had that. I did the, these mustaches connected to the sideburns for a while, but I was trying to be unfuckable.

• 1:15:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:46Speaker 04

  Like, that was the thing. I was trying to, I didn't want the attention of women at the time because I thought the Imperial, I had the Imperial, and I thought that was really cool for a while, and I didn't care what happened. But you know what's funny? That's how I ended up with my ex-girlfriend.

• 1:15:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's you, that was your Confederate reenactor face.

• 1:16:02Speaker 04

  It's just because I'm a Queen's boy and I just want to feel what it's like to be a rebel.

• 1:16:10Speaker 04

  Never got to be.

• 1:16:11Speaker 05

  Well, it was, this was wonderful. Thank you so much, Alaska, for coming by.

• 1:16:16Speaker 04

  Make sure you go.

• 1:16:17Speaker 05

  Toss the song, yeah.

• 1:16:17Speaker 04

  Listen to Revolution by Alaska Thunderfuck 5000. It's unbelievable. It's on Spotify, Apple Music, add it to all your summer playlists.

• 1:16:28Speaker 05

  Fucking awesome. It's all about serving cunt and starting a goddamn revolution. Period. Something we need to do. Yeah, we do. Oh, and you got any shows coming up? Um, he has like a hundred, cause it's June and in June it is Christmas and I am Santa Claus. So I'm going everywhere. That's October for us. Yes, that's our October time. So what is your, like, is there a good place for people to see like where all your dates are? My website, alaskathunderfuck.com, where you can also get this, this exciting hat. Please buy the hat. I'm gonna buy that. Where do I get that hat? Can I, as a, as a pothead, I have to ask, what happened to Alaska Thunderfuck the marijuana? It's gone. It's still out there. You can find it. Okay, good. Sometimes people gift it to me and then my fiancee smokes it. It's great.

• 1:17:13Speaker 05

  Okay, good. It does exist. All right, all right, cause we were in Alaska recently at a weed store and I was screaming about it and then they were like, it doesn't make it anymore. No one makes it anymore. Damn. It does exist and they make vapes of it too. They've seen us. Well, thank you so much for coming by. Seriously though. A delight. Yeah. Seriously, thank you. This is fucking awesome. Thank you. Happy Pride, y'all.

• 1:17:37Speaker 05

  God, it feels good to like, know somebody who knows something else about something else than what we know about. I feel slightly cooler now. I, I admit, I, I do feel cooler now than I did this morning. I'm trying to figure out how to be more approachable to the alt scenes. Yeah. Do you think today worked? No.

• 1:18:02Speaker 05

  It was nice having Marcus in here.

• 1:18:04Speaker 04

  Honestly, it was really nice and I mean.

• 1:18:06Speaker 05

  We had two special guests as far as I'm concerned.

• 1:18:08Speaker 04

  Marcus is a huge fan of Alaska and it was just great to have. I'm glad that they're super quick with it. I love like all, you know, I love it. I, cause you know what I feel like in drag, that's like the last bastion of like the triple threat.

• 1:18:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:18:21Speaker 04

  You know, like old school, real showbiz. Like, look at Jinx Monsoon. Jinx Monsoon's winning like Tonys and shit. Like Jinx Monsoon's Judy Garland right now.

• 1:18:30Speaker 05

  I went and saw O'Mary with Jinx. It was fucking incredible.

• 1:18:33Speaker 04

  I know. It's like, that's amazing. It's like one of those things. I love seeing like that. It's like, you gotta do a lot of shit.

• 1:18:38Speaker 05

  It's mainstream now. It's very cool.

• 1:18:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love it.

• 1:18:41Speaker 05

  It's very awesome. It's it's full on mainstream now and I fucking love it and I'm all about it and please keep dressing up and doing crazy shit. Uh, you know, keep it going forever.

• 1:18:51Speaker 04

  We have to because it's a part of the human need to express themselves. And I just think that it is just beautiful and I'll all and I'll want to remind everybody there is not a single drag queen on the Epstein list.

• 1:19:04Speaker 05

  Not even one.

• 1:19:05Speaker 04

  Not even one.

• 1:19:06Speaker 05

  Not even one.

• 1:19:07Speaker 04

  No, it's just a bunch of guys. A lot of money makes you a pedophile.

• 1:19:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:19:11Speaker 04

  Hmm. Interesting. I don't know why that is.

• 1:19:15Speaker 05

  Well, guess what, folks? We're on the road.

• 1:19:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, we are.

• 1:19:18Speaker 05

  But we got London, Ontario coming up. Fucking sold out.

• 1:19:21Speaker 04

  Sold out. Can't wait to be there and see you and go to thepatriot.com slash last by guest left and you can listen to all the episodes ad free. You can also see last stream on the left, live every Tuesday, 5pm PST. Can you also check out our new Brighter Side YouTube channel?

• 1:19:36Speaker 05

  The Brighter Side LPN. That's youtube.com slash at thebrightersideLPN.

• 1:19:43Speaker 04

  And go to LPN TV to watch our, the conclusion of the entire series of HGX2.

• 1:19:49Speaker 05

  HGX2. Who will live? Who will die? Who will live in nothing forever? Is LD cool? Are they bad?

• 1:19:57Speaker 04

  We don't know.

• 1:19:58Speaker 05

  We don't know. Also go, we have, um, um, Nerdamouth has a new YouTube channel. It's, uh, it's a Nerdamouth Podcast. So it's youtube.com slash at Nerdamouth Podcast. If we are testing the limits of the YouTube camera, will it be able to handle Mike Lawrence, Jake Chung and Holden McNeely's vision of them all at once?

• 1:20:22Speaker 04

  Wait, that's the thing. That's what you nerds are gonna have to sit with.

• 1:20:25Speaker 05

  Man, I'm so like, honestly, it's like, you're gonna watch that show and you're gonna be like, Ed and Henry are like attractive.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  But that's why, man, we get you used to it. You know, we'll come on in, the water is fine. Go to LP on the left for all your Instagram needs and go to, uh, yeah, go to lastpodcastleft.com, buy tickets to see us live.

• 1:20:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, man, eddytunes.com to see me do stand up. Go check out my Instagram, of course, I'm eddytunes on Instagram to see where I'm coming. I just put a brand new tour poster up. So check that out, see if I'm coming to a city near you and go and comment, tell me where I should go after this. Seems like Nashville and Baltimore, very hungry for it. Uh, but yeah, well, I can't wait. I'm having a great time on the road and then Henry's actually going to be joining me for my two LA shows that are on there. So, uh, come check us out. It's gonna be a fucking blast.

• 1:21:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're gonna have a good time. All right, see you fuckers.

• 1:21:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:21:17Speaker 04

  Hail Satan.

• 1:21:18Speaker 05

  Hail, uh, hmm. You know what? Hail Alaska Thunderfuck 5000. What a goddamn delight.

• 1:21:25Speaker 04

  What a delight.

• 1:21:25Speaker 05

  I feel great.