"Animal Style" (w/ Caleb Hearon)

The sisters must rejoice as we have been joined by none other than Caleb Hearon. And he has somethings to say to us! It's been a long time coming so strap in - the devil does in fact wear Prada and she's come back around. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:53Speaker 01

  Look, man. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Las Culturistas. Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. We're talking nails on both the hands and feet. We're talking pedicures, manicures.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  Feet nails.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  How we like to get them.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  The hangups that go into scheduling them.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  So, uh, I, I go like, my, my nails become like, um, pica? Is that what it is? Just, it starts to flake. Like, I peel layer by layer of keratin.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  I guess what we're all saying is we're nail biters here. This is a nail biter community.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  I've since been reformed. I've since reformed.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  They look amazing, I have to say.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  Nah, I don't know about that.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  They look great. And that's the, you have such nice jewelry, you want people to notice it clearly. So when everyone looks at your fingers, it's like, they better be together, those little cutes.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Sure, sure. But you are, you're, you're chronic with it. You are a chronic biter.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Chronic nail biter? That is how my anxiety manifests.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  You know, when I was a little boy, I was flexible enough to put my toe in my, toenail in my mouth. And then my mother saw me, saw me doing it one time. I was like seven or eight and she was, she sat me down like I had like done something really wrong. And she was like, I want to talk to you about what it is you've been, been doing.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Was the fetish born or killed in that moment?

• 2:15Speaker 01

  I guess killed, because she, it was like, it was really serious. It was like, I really want to talk to you about your behavior. It's like I'd been doing drugs or something like, this has to stop. You have to stop putting your foot in your mouth and biting off the toe. Nail.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Don't worry, I don't do it anymore. I can't, only because I can't get it up there.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  We were talking to our guest. I bet you could. All right.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  We were talking as our visual medium, can that put his own foot in his mouth?

• 2:44Speaker 02

  This is what it's all, he can. Where our guest is, um, the habit is returning is, as he's saying, because he's dealing with a stressful sort of.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  He's in a stressful situation where nails get bitten.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, I, I'm not, oh my god. Oh, he's wearing Uggs and a matching sock.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Am I supposed to be talking?

• 3:04Speaker 01

  No, hold on one second. Talk in, talk in 15 seconds. Our guest is wearing Uggs and it's, that's not all he's contributing to the culture.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  So true.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  So true, you already know it.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  You, you know it, you love it.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  It is, it is the current sort of.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Current fucking reigning.

• 3:24Speaker 02

  The current fucking reigning.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Model comedian on HBO Max, which I did have to double check, it is back to being HBO Max. Just going forward, we all know it's back to HBO Max. It's, it's not HBO, it's not Max, or it is HBO, but then it's not Max, it's HBO Max.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  It's Valerie Cherish's HBO Max.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  Quite.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  And, uh, he's in this movie that is coming out soon called The Devil Wears Prada 2. 2.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  The squequal.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  The squequal. Um.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  That actually is the sequel. If there's any sequel, that's a sequel, it's Devil Wears Prada 2.

• 4:02Speaker 02

  Absolutely. You're in the sequel. How's that feel? Okay, let's bring him in. This is our good friend. Everybody please welcome Caleb Aaron.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  You know that our, our listeners have been begging for, all they want to hear is you, not us.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  Well, you guys refused to have me on.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  That's not really true.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  And this was a bit on your pod. Do, should we, let's unpack this.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  Did I do this bit?

• 4:24Speaker 02

  I think you, I think you, you were talking with someone about.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Did I do a bit about me not coming on last?

• 4:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, like we never invited you.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Oh, that's really funny. I mean, you guys have been avoiding me like the plague. What is it?

• 4:32Speaker 01

  I don't feel this is true. I honestly, I, I feel that what it was, was there was an era where we were kind of doing guests not like on the Zoom, and I was like, this has to be an in-person thing.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  I don't do, I really won't. I, I hate the Zoom podcast.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  You've done it right the whole time.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  I won't do it. I won't do it for mine. It scares me. Do you guys, did you, cause I hate it. I feel like I'm not being charming. I feel like I'm doing a really bad job. I just can't connect on Zoom.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Based on the example, the, the cases, the, the cases that you've, the data points that you've collected thus far, which is what, like a handful of times?

• 5:02Speaker 03

  When I did them, cause when we did, when I had my showkeeping records with Shelby Wolstein, back in, back in the day, back forever ago. I, we would do Zoom episodes. Well, we really did Zoom episodes because both of our dads died unexpectedly. So we had to be in different parts of the country. So honestly, maybe it was like profound grief. Maybe it was like us both being in psychotic grief. But I really, I do not feel that I did a good job on the Zoom episodes.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  I just hate.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Cause you were psychotically grieving.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, psychotic grief and also the lag.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  It's the lag.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  I hate like, cause also with the Zoom of it all, it's especially like during the pandemic when we started, it was like, okay, here's like a pretty big guest that we've booked. But of course they're never going to see us in person at that time. So they got on Zoom and having a lag with like someone that you're trying to and like, you know, impress or that you respect.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. You can't have a lag with Cameron Diaz.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  No, you can't have a lag with Cameron Diaz.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  You can't do it. Wait, can I ask you guys a question?

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Go.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  I've never gotten to ask you this and I am curious about it. And it's obviously okay if you don't want to talk and we can cut.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  No, this is wrong.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  We're not cutting.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  Have you, look, I'm just gonna ask.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Go ask.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  Okay?

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Don't be afraid.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  You guys are so cute together. Was there ever a moment?

• 6:10Speaker 01

  Was there ever a moment that we romantically, sexually and more?

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Or considered even? Was there ever a moment?

• 6:15Speaker 02

  No, it's, it would be like siblings.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Totally, totally.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  You know what, you know that feeling?

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  It's like if you and Shelby were to.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  It's a little different, right?

• 6:26Speaker 02

  As siblings in grief.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  It's a little different. Okay. I was just checking because I just wondered.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Like, in a, in a, like, in like a way where it's like any two gay guys, you know what I mean? It's sort of like any two gay guys are like, huh. It's like, of course it runs through your mind, but then quickly your relationship becomes what it is.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  But I do think it's that thing of like, so we're working on something together and I was talking to one of our collaborators on it. And it floated through my mind like, huh, should our character? Have like a thing that they

• 6:55Speaker 02

  Attention.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Hello. And then our friend was like, well, the thing is like with you guys in a show that's about two gay guys. It's like, if they don't kiss, you kind of have to say why.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  And I was like thinking about what the why was. And I'm like, oh, the why is like platonic friendship. But then, once you get on that track, it's like, well, is it more interesting to explore it because of that? Is that the surprising thing? So what I'm saying is, Bowen, there's something I've wanted to tell you for years. Just kidding. Can you imagine?

• 7:25Speaker 03

  That would be so awesome. If you guys have any big reveals that you've been waiting to do and you wanted to do it in the episode where I'm here, I would really love that.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Oh, this is gonna do numbers no matter what. We don't need to do a big reveal. We're gonna save that for like a clunker.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Imagine we needed like a sweeps episode of the podcast.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  It's like Matt and Bone getting engaged on Los Cultures. That's just like when there's like a lion loose in Wisteria Lane.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  I would love that. I would love to be part of that.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, we can officiate when it happens.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  You guys should for a stunt. You guys should get married for a stunt.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Absolutely. People have done it. Wait, what's your, now can you tell everybody what your nail journey is?

• 7:59Speaker 03

  Oh, my nail journey. Yes, of course. I'm so sorry. Um, I will get off track a lot during this. My, my nail journey is that, okay, so I kicked, during COVID, I kicked two habits. Well, around COVID.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Nail biting, I was a horrific nail biter, would bite shit down to the nubs, bleeding, bleeding, crazy style.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're talking nub.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  Doing that. And then we're talking, it's giving nub.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Giving nub.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  And then my fear of death, I really got over hypochondria. Hypochondria, fear of death was wrapped up in one thing. Really kicked that.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  I was like, that's probably just gonna happen to me someday. I made peace with my mortality. I'm not certain, but it feels like it.

• 8:29Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  So I kicked those. But yeah, I'm back. Just like last week, I started, uh, picking at my nails again. And it's, it's crazy.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  How did you kick it to begin with?

• 8:38Speaker 03

  Picking and biting?

• 8:39Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, yeah, picking and biting.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  I just stopped.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  Cold turkey.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  I just stopped. I was like, no more. I had to be really mean to myself for a minute, but then I was able to be sweet to myself. But I had to be mean at first. Every time I would pick up the finger, I'd be like, Caleb Daniel.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:54Speaker 03

  Caleb Daniel.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Put it away.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Because here's the thing, they are filthy.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  They shouldn't be in there.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  No, they shouldn't be in there. And I'll tell you what I don't love is the, the. Sort of casual way, a mother will just watch her toddler pick something off the ground and put it in their mouth. I guess at a certain point it's like-

• 9:15Speaker 02

  You're exhausted-

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, because-

• 9:16Speaker 02

  As a mother.

• 9:16Speaker 03

  They need it, don't they?

• 9:17Speaker 01

  I guess that's what it is.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  Don't the babies need it?

• 9:19Speaker 01

  Because they need germs.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  The germs, yes, yes, yes.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't want them to have no germs, right?

• 9:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  Certainly, it's not a judgment, all the moms out there. It's just, it shocks me when I see something on the ground that then goes in the baby's mouth.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  But I'm a nail biter lifelong.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  How often are you guys eating something off the floor?

• 9:36Speaker 01

  I ate-

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Let's get into it.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  I ate my Luxper off the floor the other day.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Which one is that?

• 9:41Speaker 01

  What is that one?

• 9:42Speaker 02

  Um, it's Glamour. That's, uh, that's Atalapram. That's, uh, SSRI.

• 9:45Speaker 03

  That's an SSRI.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  So it just fell on the bathroom floor. Terrible place to fall.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  And I, and yet-

• 9:51Speaker 03

  You ate it off the bathroom floor.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  And I feel, and every time I, every time I take something off the floor, five second rule, I'm like, well, the, didn't they do a Mythbusters on how that is absolute garbage? Like, it's not real. Like, the five second rule is like, it's, it's dirty, put that away.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  On your bathroom floor, Bowen?

• 10:06Speaker 01

  It's really bad at Bowen's house because he's constantly missing the toilet bowl.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  Bowen?

• 10:11Speaker 01

  It's like a hose.

• 10:12Speaker 03

  Wait, what?

• 10:13Speaker 01

  It's like, it's like, it's like in those crazy movies where like-

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Not you opening one up.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Not you, not you.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  What's the phrase?

• 10:18Speaker 01

  You know when like a fireman's bad at his job and it's like, whoa! That's like Bowen in the bathroom, because it was a big, oh, anaconda, don't, sorry.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Oh my god. What zone of the bathroom floor did it fall on?

• 10:28Speaker 02

  Uh, pretty close to the bowl, yeah.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  Really, Bowen?

• 10:32Speaker 02

  Pretty close.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Oh my gosh, this actually is deeply good for me to hear, because that's the kind of thing I would do, but be a shame to talk about. And you're standing in bravery right now in a way that actually will move many in the community.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Can I, can I, can I really get vulnerable here? I feel, I feel good with everybody in the room.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  Just, if anyone were to witness me digging in my nostrils for shit, I, I would be dead. I would, I would move planets. I would go away, I would leave this earth.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  I don't even have a lot of shame about it. I'm in my nose.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  Can I tell you something? Can I take a step further?

• 11:08Speaker 02

  Please.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  And be vulnerable? I feel comfortable with everyone but one person in this room. And I'm not gonna say who. Um, no, I'm kidding.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  And you brought them here, right?

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Michelle. It's my assistant. She's, she's doing elder abuse today.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  No, I'm in my nose, obviously crazy style.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  And not only would I be embarrassed for someone to see me in the nose, I'd be embarrassed for them to see what I sometimes find.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Cause let me tell you, can I just tell you something?

• 11:32Speaker 01

  You're in your nose crazy style and what's in there is animal style.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  It's animal style.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  Do you ever feel your nose like this and be like, oh, there's something really in there?

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:40Speaker 03

  And then you get in there and what you pull out is like, pretty long and hard.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  Can I say that? Has that happened to anyone?

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 11:46Speaker 01

  I think we all have a nose and we'd all be crazy ridiculous fools to say we have it, dug in there and found something crazy style, animal style.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  You ever just sit, you ever just sitting somewhere and you feel something, you feel something hit your shirt? And you realize, you realize, you realize a little bit of earwax has fallen out of your ear?

• 12:04Speaker 02

  I've never had that happen, but to me more.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Well, it's really gross. A bunch of people just shook their head no, so obviously I'm pretty suicidal.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 12:11Speaker 03

  Camera guy shook his head no so violently that it was borderline judgmental.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Nick, no, no, no.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  That fucking hurt so bad, that sucked. People in the comments say if you've had earwax fall out and you felt the weight of it hit your shirt.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  I had to negotiate you off the ledge because I too, deal with ear stuff.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  It happens.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Like, you ever take your AirPods out and it's like, it's like, oh, that's covered in the stuff?

• 12:32Speaker 03

  That was like the glamorous girl version of what I was talking about. If people were being really honest with themselves, sometimes a little chunk falls out. And I'm like, I have to get up on the cross for all of us, but like, yours was so normal and you should never be ashamed of that.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  And also to be fair, like, you do shove those AirPods in there.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  You shove them in, but I wanna know more about earwax, if you're willing to share.

• 12:52Speaker 03

  Totally. So, there have been a couple of times in my life, it's not zero, it's probably not north of 20. It's probably somewhere in the zero to 20 range. I would say plus, like, definitely north of 5, south of 20.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  I have been sitting somewhere, I have felt a mass leave my ear.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  It's while you're sitting down usually?

• 13:09Speaker 03

  Totally. There's been some sort of shift, movement, ruffle, shuffle.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  I feel a mass of something with weight heft.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Leave my ear and fall on my person. I feel the weight of it hit my body, not unlike a punch landing on my body.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  And lo and behold, I look down and yes, it's a little glob of earwax.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  All that to say, I want to ground everybody in the fact that I am human.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  And I have a body that produces things like earwax.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  I'm not here to, please believe me when I say this, I am jealous.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Do you mean that?

• 13:43Speaker 02

  My earwax.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Gets logged.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Gets logged. It doesn't cl- I wish it clumped. And I'm sorry, is that an okay word to say?

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Clumped?

• 13:51Speaker 02

  I wish it clumped.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  I wish I had nuggets of earwax. I have a disgusting thin film that stays there and will sediment into its own layer fused with my skin and my, and the rest of my dermis for the rest of my life.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, I think I'd rather be like Caleb and having it fall out because at least then there's the relief of knowing that that said mass is no longer in your body.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  It left.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  Then go through what I know my sister goes through, which is to have sort of blockage. Because that becomes ear infection. And that's the worst thing that could ever happen to a human.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  Her having no ability to defend herself or step in and just you being like, she has blockage? And she's, she's in trouble.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  Talking about me?

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  Oh wait, no, I thought you meant your actual sister.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  No, no, no, my sister's to my right.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  I thought you were bringing up a biological sister who was nowhere in the room and I was like, that's insane and I'm completely addicted.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I would then call her my bio sister. You're my sister, she's my bio sister.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  It's making it seem really fucked up when I ask.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  Can I? Can I, speaking of bio, which I thought was a term that we like, didn't really, this is like a prefix that we don't really use anymore.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Bio?

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Apparently people, so I was, I was out yesterday with my friend Ian and we were at this place and then these, two pups come in, two guys and like, it was like a little fun, like daytime, sort of like, party thing at like, out of space.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  Two pups come in.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  You sure?

• 15:16Speaker 02

  Guys, guys in their, in their pup outfits.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  How puffed are they? Just the head or are they doing the whole thing?

• 15:20Speaker 02

  Head and torso.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  All, all like belted.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Puffed up.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  All puffed up, all puffed up above the waist.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Puffed up from the waist up.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  Puffed up in the waist up.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  Puffed up from the waist up. Kind of gives like a Dochi lyric.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Puffed up in the waist.

• 15:32Speaker 03

  Actually.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  It is, it is very.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  Very like alter ego.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  I know my girl.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Um, so.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  And I might be totally butchering this, please, I hope this makes it to threads and they have a lively spirited debate about this.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  They will.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  But.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, I'm crying.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Okay, so.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  This is how I cry.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Sorry, I'm crying.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  So, apparently, they, people in the pop community, community call like, um, canines, bio dogs.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  I'm not sure about that.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Bio dogs is so funny.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  You're just gonna have to like, it just begs to like, have the, the terminology changed five years from now, because it's like what we used, we used to call like, AFAB queens bio queens in drag, right? And now it's like, no, that's an AFAB queen, great. Or that's just a drag queen, no need to like, if you want to get tunnel, like funnel down into, drill down into like the, oh, that's AFAB person dressing up in female drag. Great.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  This is a piece of information, there every once in a while, a piece of information about our community makes its way to my doorstep that asks me, how progressive are you? What are your values really?

• 16:45Speaker 02

  How do you feel about bio dogs? Bio dogs.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  This is a moment where I have to ask questions of myself, and I'm not, I don't have the answers right now.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  We're not gonna answer them here, and I, again, might totally have butchered that.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  And I'm not gonna say who told me.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  It was Ian. But I'm not gonna.

• 16:58Speaker 03

  Ian did it.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  Ian did it.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  But I, I, I, I'm with, I'm with you, I'm like, wow, I don't, I don't know.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  And I, and I don't want, because I feel like it's a dog, it's like a right-wing dog whistle to be like, keep that shit in the bedroom. But I am like, but I don't know how much of that should, should, should, you know, cross the threshold.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  It's a great question. There are, I do think there are things like, look, gay guys, I love us in many ways. I have questions about us in many ways.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  Always.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  There are things that we do and say and know that were only meant for us, I think.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  That, once it breaks containment, I do fear that, I don't fear, I don't feel that straight people can fully understand what's going on with us sometimes. And so sometimes, straight people learn about a thing, particularly conservative people, they learn about like, a very niche gay thing, and I'm like, baby, you were never supposed to know about that, I'm so sorry.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  And also, it's like, I.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go here because you went there, I'm gonna go here.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  We're getting vulnerable today.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  I do believe there should be separation between the straight and gay communities because I don't need to mix with them. I find their morals really in the gutter.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  I think they're all cheating on each other. I think all straight people are liars.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  I've never met a straight woman that isn't cheating on her husband with someone she just met on vacation.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  We're looking at the women that the.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  You all cheated on, I know you, I know you have all cheated on your partners on a vacation with your girlfriends. And that's why you wanna go back to Antigua. That's the only reason why is because of the surf instructor you met.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  People are cheating.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  People are cheating. And they're lying.

• 18:27Speaker 03

  You guys, I, okay, friend of a friend, wow, this is juicy.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  Go.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  Friend of a friend, uh, she, woman, her husband, mega dickhead, like, military asshole.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Bioman.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  Bioman, bioman, mean, conservative, homophobic, all the bad things you can think of. This guy sucks, he's the worst.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  It was revealed to me recently at a lunch, no less. Lunch is the best place to get gone.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  Dinner, it starts to feel a little, it's like, oh, it's night, we're being kind of nefarious. Lunch is like, we're walking in the light of God.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  And honey, it's lunchtime.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  And honey, it's lunch right now.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Honey, I think my lunch has been served. What do you want?

• 19:01Speaker 03

  Wife, cheating on military husband.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  With?

• 19:04Speaker 03

  With a man 10 years younger than her. It's not age inappropriate, by the way, it's all good. They're like, they're all in their 30s, 40s. Cheating on a man 10 years younger.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  And a lot, cheating a lot, cheating regularly, carrying on a very explicit affair, waiting until the kid leaves high school to leave him to be with the other man.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, planning to cheat. That's a whole other world of it.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Planning to cheat, but how long can she keep the plan under wraps?

• 19:27Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't think he's very bright.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think she could really do it. And women are very cunning.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Yes, they are. It's actually RollerCoaster number 10. Women are very cunning. They're very, they think they're very smart on vacation.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  But they cheat.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  And you know, one time I was, actually one time, this was recent, I was talking to a straight woman and she was confiding, she felt she was confiding in like her gaze, that she had cheated on her new husband.

• 19:51Speaker 03

  Not new.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  With someone she met on vacation. And I'm listening to her and it took every. Anything in me to not be like, you know what I hope is happening? I hope your husband is cheating on you.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  Do you hope that?

• 20:03Speaker 01

  If you are cheating on your husband gleefully and like getting away for it. Yeah, I hope he's cheating on you too.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  That's mutual cheating.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would hope that someone isn't just getting cucked up. Pupped up from the cup tucked up from the waist up.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  Cupped up from the tuck tuck.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  From the waist up.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Would you, you could be an amazing rapper.

• 20:23Speaker 03

  Oh, I have it within me, certainly. I definitely have it within me. I think, but I was thinking just now vacation is such a, vacation is really what you make of it.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  100%.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  Can be cheating, it can be relaxing, it can be museums.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  It can be relaxing, it can be cheating.

• 20:35Speaker 03

  So many things vacation.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  It can be, wait, that has your rule question number 15. It can be so many things vacation. It can be cheating, it can be relaxing.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  It can be museums.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  It can be museums.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Don't forget.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  That's actually a really good one.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  Those are like the three vacations, cheating, relaxing, museums.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can break them all down into like so many different activities.

• 20:56Speaker 02

  And now a vital break from our sponsor Vital Proteins.

• 21:00Speaker 01

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• 21:07Speaker 02

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• 21:17Speaker 01

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• 21:32Speaker 02

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• 21:42Speaker 01

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• 21:50Speaker 02

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• 21:57Speaker 01

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• 22:08Speaker 02

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• 22:13Speaker 01

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• 22:21Speaker 02

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• 22:23Speaker 01

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• 22:26Speaker 02

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• 22:30Speaker 01

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• 23:23Speaker 02

  Time for some prep wisdom.

• 23:24Speaker 01

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• 23:31Speaker 02

  Especially your situationship. And just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters. Your routine, your chaos level, your "I might forget my own birthday" energy. All of it counts.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Basically, talk to your doctor. Have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosey about your own health. It's allowed, encouraged even. Okay, did you write all that down? No? Don't worry.

• 24:05Speaker 02

  Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  Okay, we've been talking about QB Mail for a minute now, Bo, and wow, the feedback we're getting. I mean, so many of y'all love this stuff.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  You're stopping us in the street going, "I love QB." And if you're thinking, "Wait, what is QB?" Uh, do you not have the internet? It's the OG Japanese mayonnaise. The one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Once you know it, you start seeing it everywhere. People ask what makes it different from Basic mayo, well, the answer? Egg yolks.

• 24:39Speaker 02

  Cupi is made with egg yolks only, giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything. Burgers, fries, sandwiches, chicken, noodles.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  Chefs use it, restaurants use it, people who really love food and flavor use it.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  Whatever you're eating, Cupi it. So if you haven't tried Cupi yet, find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. You'll understand. Cupi, the original Japanese mayonnaise. You know, we've been talking about refreshing our living rooms recently, so we went to wayfair.com.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  Top of mind stuff. I got an Elroy Modern Abstract Machine Washable Area Rug with non-slip rubber backing. What about you, Bo?

• 25:20Speaker 02

  No way. I got a Hertford Wide Mid-Century Upholstered Solid Wood Accent Chair with an extra pillow.

• 25:25Speaker 01

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• 25:34Speaker 02

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• 25:59Speaker 01

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• 26:07Speaker 02

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• 26:12Speaker 01

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• 26:29Speaker 03

  Are you an itinerary vacationer or are you a cheater?

• 26:32Speaker 02

  I'm a ch- oh, that's the binary?

• 26:34Speaker 03

  Well, I was experimenting.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  I don't love an itinerary, even though the last trip I took friends on was very, was mostly itinerary-driven. But actually, no, there was moments of loose, unstructured time. Matt, pertinent to you and your story. Matt is a newly white guy who loves Asian culture.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  I've been to Asia, like, pretty much more than America this year.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  Are you wearing kimonos yet? Because that's where it usually ends up. Do you have swords in the house?

• 27:00Speaker 01

  Here's what I'll say. I learned how to dress myself in the hotel, the last hotel that we stayed in, and the outfit that they gave.

• 27:07Speaker 02

  Oh, yes, um, yes.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  How would you describe that?

• 27:10Speaker 02

  It was, it was, it was, um, like, a modern, uh, tatami, sort of like, RioCon sort of thing.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  Yes, and when I stepped out in the garb,

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  and I saw myself in the mirror,

• 27:22Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  I said, "I belong here."

• 27:24Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 27:25Speaker 01

  And that's why I'm having what I'm calling, I called it to you, my big Asian year.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  Big Asian year.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  B A Y.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  It can be a very Asian year for you, and I think, yeah, a lot of white guys who go down the path of being obsessed with Asia, I'm obsessed with these guys. Most of them have never been. That's one part of the issue.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  It gets into samurai swords pretty quickly. It gets into kimonos pretty quickly.

• 27:44Speaker 01

  It won't get there for me.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  It usually gets into an ironic facial hair. And right now, your facial hair is looking very handsome and normal.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  This is kind of where I stay.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  I don't think I'll go somewhere crazy.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  You guys both look great.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Likewise.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  I have to say, thank you very much.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  And I was, I was just admiring these frames.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Thank you very much.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  Are these new frames, or are these sort of signature frames?

• 28:01Speaker 03

  I want to tell you, I've been wearing these for a decade plus.

• 28:04Speaker 02

  Yes, these are the signature.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  These are the frames.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  These are the ones.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  And it's seeing them in person that really is the high impact.

• 28:10Speaker 03

  You guys are special. You guys are special guys.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 28:12Speaker 03

  You guys are special guys. I like seeing you on this little couch. I like being in the room with you.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Really? See? And that's why we have to do it again.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  I see you so often in my phone, but to see you, to see you.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  But we see you often in the phone.

• 28:23Speaker 03

  This is nice.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  This is really nice.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  Can we just take a moment to say this is nice?

• 28:26Speaker 01

  This is nice.

• 28:27Speaker 03

  We need to go to dinner.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  It's like a jacuzzi being here.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  A fly.

• 28:30Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Hello, wake that up.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  I have to say,

• 28:34Speaker 03

  Say it.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  that one thing about where I was just at, which is Phuket.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  You don't even need a hot tub.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 28:40Speaker 01

  It feels like a bath wherever you go.

• 28:42Speaker 03

  Is that true?

• 28:42Speaker 02

  Humid, I guess.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Well, I guess it would.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  How do you mean?

• 28:46Speaker 01

  I just, I guess, I guess I went there at the perfect time because, and I'll tell you something, and let me, let me ask you this question. Is it possible that there's more salt in the water, in the seawater there?

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Of course, it's Paul's.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  I, I felt so amazing. I literally, I realized,

• 29:01Speaker 02

  I don't, oh, okay.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  I realized that seawater really does heal.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Ocean water heals.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  What happened to you over there?

• 29:08Speaker 01

  Do you guys feel me? Anyway.

• 29:10Speaker 03

  Ocean water makes food.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  I had the most incredible vacation in Phuket and went in the ocean and I literally left being like, "Okay, note to self, you have to go in the ocean."

• 29:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, th- this is the thing, like, this is so well observed, by the way, this whole like white guy into Asian culture thing, like, I've really thought about this ever since, like, just whenever you bring it up, because it's like, there's different, so many different ways to be white guy into Asian culture. You can do like the Hasan Piker thing where he goes to China and now he's like China Max to the gods.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  He's not white, though.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  Oh, sure, we'll take that out, but you know what I mean?

• 29:44Speaker 01

  I think leave it in.

• 29:45Speaker 02

  There are a lot of ways to do it.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Let's hear from him. Hasan, are you white or what?

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Okay, can I say, we're saying white guy into Asian culture, but it is, it literally can apply to me. Where like, I go, I'm like one of these like weeby guys who like goes to Japan and loves it, I go to China and I love, I go to like, I have not been south of China crazily, or north of Australia, north of five, south of 20.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Well, you loved parts of China.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  I loved parts of China. No, actually, this, this past summer, I was like, I see it all.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  You see all of China?

• 30:14Speaker 02

  I s- well, I not see it all, but I see, I see the, I see the, the gamut of what this can be and it's pretty crazy.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  You described your experience at Disney Shanghai as not being great.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  Cause the kids are shitting on the street. Are shitting on the sidewalk.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Kids are shitting on the sidewalk?

• 30:29Speaker 02

  Because that, because that's Chinese culture, it's like, they're from the countryside where it's like, you just, the kids are, the kids squat, there's a little pocket, uh, there's a little like clip-on thing at the butt and then they just, they just squat and they shit on the...

• 30:40Speaker 03

  There's a clip-on thing on the butt and they shit in the park?

• 30:42Speaker 02

  There's a little square, the flap, there's a flap on the butt.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Uh huh. Oh, and they shit on the ground?

• 30:46Speaker 02

  And they shit on the ground, that's what I meant.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  I thought there was something receptacle to capture the poop, but it's just going straight to the ground.

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Nothing of the sort.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  That's Chinese sort of...

• 30:53Speaker 03

  Not digging it, hope that's okay to say, not digging it.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  No, no, there's nothing to dig.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  I don't like that at all.

• 30:57Speaker 02

  No, there's no, there's no like, you can clutch your pearls.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  Meanwhile, in Phuket, you, you, once, any, any person that you talk to there, any woman that you talk to there, sometimes they'll just come up and they'll go, "Ka."

• 31:09Speaker 03

  And that means?

• 31:10Speaker 01

  That means like, "Thank you, like hello."

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Kap-kun ka, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  Kap-kun ka, I'm like...

• 31:14Speaker 02

  Swati swati ka, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just love ka, I just, I love ka.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  That's really sweet.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  And then that, so, when, when you're like a feminine, uh, woman, you go ka, and then the men go kap.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  Well...

• 31:25Speaker 01

  It's more clipped.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  And there's a lot to be said about that, by the way, if we wanna dig into it. When I'm abroad, people mostly say to me, "Move." Or, or get out of the way.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  And do you?

• 31:35Speaker 03

  I try my best, but those places are so small.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  I know.

• 31:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the thing.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  You go to another country, they're not used to seeing a guy like me.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  So they're very, very interested in me getting out of the way. And I share that interest with them. I don't want to be in the way. It's one of my least favorite things to be.

• 31:47Speaker 01

  Who wants to be in the way?

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Oh, I hate being in the way. Love attention.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Some people love being in the way.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  Well, they're addicted to it. Some people don't know how to not be in the way.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  There's being in the way and there's being on display, and I'll pick the latter.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 31:58Speaker 01

  And that is my Housewives tagline.

• 31:59Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 32:02Speaker 03

  That, thank you. That was really, really beautiful and powerful.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  Thank you. I, I, I didn't know I had that in me until just there.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  I knew that you had it within you.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  I guess I should have more self-belief.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  I knew that you had it within you the whole time. I never doubted it for a second. How long have you guys been doing this show?

• 32:16Speaker 02

  10. We just did 10, celebrated 10 years.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  This actually is, we're very much in the midst of our 10 years and also our 500th episode was, we were supposed to do like a big like showcase episode for it. Like we were gonna do the 500 best things in culture stupid list, and we've totally missed it. And now I don't think we can. We're well over 500 now.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Who's the time? Literally, who has the time to do a podcast?

• 32:37Speaker 03

  I don't know. I certainly do, but I don't know how you guys do it.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no. You don't.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  I'll say when you, I have, there have been times that you guys have put out this podcast that I have said, surely someone's gonna step in soon. Like you guys are so busy that I'm going, there's no way this is happening still. It seems like it's so hard. I don't know how you guys do it with two people.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  And you know what's funny? Like we thought like, oh, Bowen's left us and now, now the podcast can like be something like that. Like we'll do it fresh every week and it can always be topical and it hasn't, it hasn't been able to be that.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, banking is the name of the game.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  Banking is kind of, has to be the name of the game.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  Any tricks for you when you bank? Like don't talk about, don't talk about the Kit Kat robbery that just happened.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm always, well, people are always trying to bring up the Kit Kat robbery and I hate that. Now, just like, just chit-chatting, like I feel like, I, I'm so lucky because it's just me and a guest. And so it's just my schedule to mostly worry about. I mean, Nicole, who engineers the show and Chance who produces it, like there's two. But mostly I just get to ask questions. I just throw questions out and then I go, that was so interesting what you said.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  I have found the last few like big discourses that have happened, I have had like really, what seemed like really unpopular. Like, for example, the Timothy Chalamet stuff with the ballet and the opera. I think people were being insane about that.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  People were being completely insane because they're a little tired of him.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's not fair. And that was really what it was about. The chapel run of it all. I could not believe that we just took what this one person like put on their Instagram as total fact, as total bible, and kicked her ass again on social media, only for the security guard to come out and be like, guys, she never asked me to do that. I work at the hotel. I thought there was a problem, so I went over there. She did nothing.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  They have a particular problem with chapel. It's so, to me, it's so funny because every chapel discourse is like, she will literally be like, she will literally be like, hey, guys, please just like, don't chase me down the street. I'm going to dinner.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  And then the whole internet will be like, you stupid ungrateful bitch.

• 34:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, how dare you, you fucking...

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Ungrateful bitch.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  You, you, we are gonna take you down. Don't come to Rio.

• 34:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're banned from the city.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  You are disinvited from our great country.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  It's like, pardon? It's really crazy. And also chapel is a Missouri girl. And I have to tell you, this was never supposed to happen to us.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  No!

• 34:47Speaker 03

  This poor girl, I'm like, this, I, it's just so, I'm like, give that girl a break. Give her a break.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  I have been saying it the entire time, and I'm just like, because you want to know what else? It's so boring. Like, all of these things are just so boring.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  How should we treat Missouri celebrities? You, chapel, Nikki Glaser, Jon Hamm.

• 35:08Speaker 03

  You know Nikki still lives in Missouri, which I love.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love that.

• 35:11Speaker 03

  Nikki moved back to St. Louis.

• 35:14Speaker 03

  You know what? The way you should treat us is, I think, I get pretty lucky. Everyone's pretty nice to me. I think most, I mean, it's gotten a little weird recently, but most of the time, I think people are very like, hey, sorry, love your stuff, blah, blah, and then they like run away. I love that. And I'm happy to take a picture or whatever, but I think just like what I mean by that is like, I don't know, it would be pretty jarring. A lot of these people who get famous, like, they did have some kind of preparation. They had, they grew up with money, or they went to like a big fancy school, or they like... They, they were around rich people at some point in their life. Like when you really come from like rural ass Missouri and this shit just happens to you, totally cool, awesome, privileged life, wouldn't trade it. But it is like, I really feel for Chapel. I'm like, that is a fucking crazy experience. It's a very, very different weird thing.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  And I'm just like, I wish people would give her a break. That being said, Chapel, love you, girl. Please tune out to this part. The memes about it are very funny. We can't escape the fact that the memes are funny.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  Always good.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  The memes are good.

• 36:09Speaker 02

  The Zelda one is very funny.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  Wait, what was the Zelda one?

• 36:13Speaker 02

  It's like, it's, it's the great fairy from N64, from Ocarina of Time, pulling Link's hair, like, just found this. And, and she's like, she looks like Chapel. She's got like red hair and like all this like trellis-y stuff in her. Yeah. And it's, that, that made me laugh.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  The memes are very funny. You also, but every once in a while, you will pop up on my phone, posting something that I have never heard about my, like you'll post like some kind of cartoon figure I've never seen in my life and you'll be like, back at it with this bitch. And I'm like, I don't know what these little games are, but I want to come play with you.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  I want to come play your little games.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  Please play.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  I don't know them.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  Come, come, come.

• 36:44Speaker 03

  And I want to be involved. I feel like you have so many fun games.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  I, this is, I'm really settling into this, this new life of just like, I can, I, maybe I just, I just, I'm a little concierge for people.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Maybe you should get on Twitch.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  That's Hassan's, that's Hassan's domain.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  Leave it to Hassan. Leave it to Hassan to be on Twitch, to be talking about politics too much. Leave it to Hassan to be talking about gay guys too much. I said this, I said this when I went on a show. He was talking so freely about gay men. I said, Hassan, you better fuck a man or hush it up.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  And I would say, and I would say absolutely first in line for that.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  You want to fuck Hassan?

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Oh, deeply.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Oh my goodness.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  And can I say, I think all these people like coming for Hassan want to fuck him too.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  Oh sure, he's handsome. I like him. I like, I like Hassan. I don't, I don't need to, no offense, brother. I don't need to fuck him, but I think if, I think if he wants to-

• 37:31Speaker 01

  I don't need to fuck him. I would just be first in line if there was an option. Like if there's going to be a sweepstakes.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  I think if he wants to keep talking to the Austin, the little gay guy on his podcast.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  If he wants to keep talking to Austin crazy about gay stuff, he needs to fuck somebody.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  Has he been talking crazy about gay stuff?

• 37:46Speaker 03

  No, just like, like he'll be like, he'll be like, like when I went on his show, he was like, he was like, Austin's a selfish top. I was like, let's take a pause.

• 37:51Speaker 01

  So what do you think that means?

• 37:53Speaker 03

  Let's take a pause on that.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Let's take a pause, I'm selfish.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  Let's take a pause. I want to talk to everyone about what we think that means.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Okay, wait. Straight, quote unquote, guys, and this is again, Hasan, I believe men.

• 38:06Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  But like, straight guys are, they love to talk and bandy about our little terms. And multiple men at SNL, well-meaning, great guys, would just randomly turn to me and be like, "God, gay guys really have it figured out. You can fuck whoever you want."

• 38:23Speaker 03

  They love this.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  And I'm like, "Stop."

• 38:24Speaker 03

  They love this.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  That's not true.

• 38:26Speaker 03

  Gay, uh, straight guys love to, we do not have it figured out. I don't know if you've noticed, it's not going well for many of us.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  No, yeah, no.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  Uh, me personally, I'm chilling, but I, straight guy, my straight guy buddies will love to tell me nothing more than like, they'll just really, in a moment of like weird introspection, will just be at lunch or something, and they'll be like, "God, the way you guys can just get a blowjob on command." And I'm like, "Hey."

• 38:47Speaker 01

  Not true.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Hey, what's going on? Your wife is in the bathroom, what is going on? Like, it's really insane.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  But do you know, that's what I'm saying.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Is it's like, it's like, whenever I feel like there's- Why's the bathroom cheating? Judgment towards our community, I'm like, here's the thing, we're just so out loud and proud and exuberant about our mental illness, and about like what's breaking us down and has us broken as a community and individuals wherein.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  But like, the straights are so like, repressed about how, about what their bullshit, that they end up doing duplicitous, mean nasty things to the people they love the most. Like, they have not interrogated why they would make some of these choices, because they haven't had shame.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  Yes. Are you guys doing monogamy? Can I ask that? How's monogamy working right now? Are you up into that?

• 39:35Speaker 01

  I'm not familiar. Me and my boyfriend are distance. So it's like-

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Where's he live?

• 39:40Speaker 01

  London.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Oh, good.

• 39:41Speaker 01

  But very abroad, like-

• 39:43Speaker 03

  Good god.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  So it's kind of like, it's kind of one of those things where it's just like, you know, you, you, you figure it out, you're, you're, you're riding it out.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  It is, it is, you know, it's never easy. Monogamy for you?

• 39:55Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know. This is what I'm thinking about. I was in an open relationship most of last year. And I was always kind of making fun of open and I was like, oh, I don't really want to do that because I wasn't dating anyone.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Right.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  And then it came down to date someone and I was like, oh, God, maybe they really, they're on to something over there. I can't be carrying on multiple relationships. That's not for Caleb.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  No, not that.

• 40:12Speaker 03

  Open was fun. I don't know. I, there's some, look, I do get a little jealous. I'm not gonna lie to you.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  Of monog?

• 40:19Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Of other people?

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Both. No, I, I, in open, I will say, like, there are a lot of people that are open that are like, I love when my man comes home and tells me about this hot guy that he fucked and I'm like, not me. I don't like it.

• 40:31Speaker 02

  Never.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  It doesn't turn me on. I don't like it. I don't mind it, knowing that I'm gone as much as I am and whatever. But monogamy is coming up a lot lately and I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what's going on.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  Is it coming up a lot?

• 40:41Speaker 03

  In my head, because I'm like, I want a family. I want like a family.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  Oh, you do, you do, you do.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  Eventually, yeah, I want kids. Like, that's a big goal of mine in life. And so I'm like, what am I gonna be open with kid? Like, I'm gonna have like a kid and be like going out to see, like, I don't, I don't.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  People do it. I'll never, I, I, I don't understand that, but people do do it.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  I also, yeah, every once in a while, of course, I get swept away with the idea that I'm gonna meet someone. Yeah, you, I don't know. You guys ever get that idea that you're like, oh, my God, I'm gonna meet someone that makes it so easy and fun to just like lock in forever?

• 41:10Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  Am I a total freak? Is that the craziest thing you've ever heard?

• 41:12Speaker 02

  No, no, no. Um, what if like having kids is like the glue?

• 41:17Speaker 03

  That makes the open work?

• 41:18Speaker 02

  That makes the open work or the monog work?

• 41:21Speaker 03

  Well, this is a great question.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  That locks you in. Yeah, what?

• 41:23Speaker 03

  And we'll never know. I, that's what I'm curious about. I don't know, but I'm just wondering about it all.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  I feel like also another thing is like, I'm now thirty-six and I don't think I require or have the urges to be like, thinking about being on the prowl in the way I was. Like, just monogamy in terms of energetically makes more sense because I'm like, yeah, that sounds a lot easier and I don't have to deal with someone.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Like nowadays, it's kind of like. It's not like it was where I could just hop on a dick when I was 25. You know what I mean? I'm just like, okay, what's going on? Yeah, I've had lunch and dinner, but is someone knocking? Cause I'll answer.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Now it's like, okay, let me do the mental math here. Like, I don't know.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  You guys on Grindr?

• 42:07Speaker 02

  I am.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  I have it.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  I'm on it again and I am about to shudder again. I'm just like, this is, there's nothing here.

• 42:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Truly.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  Also because, are you showing face on there?

• 42:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. I'm getting banned a lot.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  So am I.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  I get banned from Grindr. You know, [BLEEP].

• 42:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  I have to text [BLEEP].

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Oh, that's so funny.

• 42:26Speaker 03

  Who works at Grindr, this poor, sweet soul who has, has no business getting these nasty vile texts from me. And I text him and I go, I'm in Oklahoma City. I'm as horny as I've ever been and I've once again been banned from Grindr for impersonating Caleb Hearon. Which, can I say that of the gay guys to impersonate? I have to imagine that Caleb Hearon is not high on the list on Grindr. I don't feel like that makes a ton of sense.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  I say the same thing to the guys who are like, you're catfishing. I'm like, a femme Asian like...

• 42:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. You guys hate fat people on here. You hate Asian people on here. Like, no, I wouldn't pick Caleb.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 42:59Speaker 03

  You know, I wouldn't pick like, I wouldn't, that doesn't make, that doesn't make sense.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  We wouldn't catfish that way.

• 43:04Speaker 02

  Right.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  I know who you catfish as when you do it and it's never your...

• 43:07Speaker 02

  It's never me.

• 43:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  It's Hudson.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  It's Hassan.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  It's Hassan.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  It's Hassan.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  I, I got banned one time because I was, I was in, um, uh, the Tampa area. And they were like, we knew it couldn't be you. I was like, no, I'm just weird in here.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  No, I just had to go to Tampa.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  I actually just sometimes come to Tampa. It's like a thing about me. If you had just sent me a message, we could have gotten into it.

• 43:27Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  I would have told you all about my part-time Tampa life.

• 43:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do have fun on Grindr. I am, I am like regularly meeting people off of Grindr, I would say.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  Really?

• 43:35Speaker 03

  But like, I'm very specific about it and I'm, I'm very like, yeah, I don't think... It's not how it was when I was like 20.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  I know.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  You know?

• 43:42Speaker 02

  It's really...

• 43:43Speaker 03

  When I was 20, I was like, "Ha!" Like, I was like, "Who? I'll do anything." I'm like, "I was doing anon when I was 20." What?

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  I was meeting strangers without face pics when I was 20.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  Great, yeah.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Can't be doing that anymore.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  That's, that's, Chicago 20s, you're in your 20s, you're doing anon.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Say that.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  Say that.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  Say that.

• 43:59Speaker 01

  I, I, I had like, um...

• 44:01Speaker 03

  Say that.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  I had like a, like a really crazy six-week period on Grindr when I was, like, when I was in my, like, 26, 27. I had a six-week, when I was seeing like, I was seeing like, I'll just say like, four or five guys a week. Like, I was just like, I had discovered it.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  And I was just like, "I am on this." And it was like, I, it was, I was having like a little sexual revolution in myself. I say it's a six-week period because it had to end, I got syphilis.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Of course, totally.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  That's the bottleneck.

• 44:31Speaker 01

  The pirate STI.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  That'll happen sometimes, yeah. An STI that we truly should not even be saying if it's not in a pirate's accent.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  I thought, I thought it was a joke. I was like, "Yeah, syphilis, ha ha."

• 44:41Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's just like, no one gets that.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  Got it. Matt, I heard a story about you on the way over here today.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  What's the story?

• 44:47Speaker 03

  My assistant, Michelle.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  We were driving over here together, shout out Michelle, love you, girl.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  Shout out.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Um, so sorry about everything. Um, I'm a nightmare to work for. She used to work at a restaurant in Brooklyn.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 44:58Speaker 03

  And I have to confront you.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  What's the rest, oh god, what happened?

• 45:00Speaker 03

  She said that you came in, and she said you were not very nice.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  I wasn't nice?

• 45:06Speaker 03

  No, I'm kidding, she said you were a total sweetheart.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  Cause, can I tell you, like, I was like...

• 45:10Speaker 03

  Can you imagine?

• 45:11Speaker 01

  I industry.

• 45:12Speaker 03

  She was like, "He's the loveliest person on earth."

• 45:13Speaker 01

  Uh, first of all, A, I am industry, and so I go in there and I'm like, I, I make sure that everyone knows that.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  He's been on the other side.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  I, I, I, by, when I say I'm industry, I mean I'm restaurant industry.

• 45:24Speaker 03

  Right.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  For 10 years, like, I, but I was so shocked that I was possibly capable of that.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  I know. Well, no, I'm totally kidding.

• 45:32Speaker 01

  What restaurant?

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Dinner party?

• 45:34Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah. Okay, yes, yes, yes.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Birthday, yeah.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  Somebody's birthday.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  Said you were lovely, and I just thought that was really sweet. I was really scared, because when she said I was like, oh my gosh, like, I, I love Matt, I hope this is a good story. Because I will say, when I hear, when I hear, like, somebody be like, oh, Renee Zellweger came into my coffee show. I feel bad that Renee got the poll. But like, any celebrity.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  We only say her because she's noted lovely.

• 45:57Speaker 03

  But it's like, they'll say some random celebrity, and they'll be like, ugh, they were, they were kind of rude to me, and I'm going, I don't really believe that or listen to that, only because it's like, so many times I'll hear someone say that, and I'm like, it sounds like they were just like, kind of in a rush and having a bad day. Like, they didn't like, dress you down in front of everyone or something, they were just like, uh, iced vanilla latte. You know, and it's like, that's not mean, that's just being a person who has 20 things to do. So I wondered, and then it was that you were lovely.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  I'm happy that that ended the way it did, that story, because I will tell you, people acting crazy like that in restaurants, I can't abide by it.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  Bowen and I had a beautiful night at Veselka once.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 46:30Speaker 03

  Do you remember our faded night, Bowen?

• 46:31Speaker 02

  I do, of course I do, but I, do, do we talk about it? Because I think it was best case, I think, things happen exactly how they should have, they were meant to.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  Well, I, it was funny because you were writing for SNL, and...

• 46:43Speaker 01

  Oh, this is years ago.

• 46:43Speaker 03

  This is 2019?

• 46:44Speaker 02

  Yes, this is, this is, after my first season, you were screen testing.

• 46:48Speaker 03

  It wasn't your first, right, your first season writing?

• 46:50Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 46:51Speaker 03

  I was screen testing for the show, and I was like, I was like, Bowen, can we go, can we like, go out and get food after my thing? And we, Bowen took me to Veselka, and I was like, I feel like I was like, you're gonna be on the show, right?

• 47:03Speaker 02

  You told me that?

• 47:04Speaker 03

  I feel like we talked about it.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I was like, and I, even back then, I was like, I don't know, I think like, I, I just literally was like, they would never put an Asian person on.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  And I was like, they're not gonna put two gay guys on.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  So I left, I left that meal being like, Bowen's getting on the show, and this was a fun exercise, but like, I'm not getting this job. And then, that is what happened, but it was, it was so, you were so sweet and lovely to me, and I was nervous about the thing.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  It was terrible to the staff.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  You were horrible to the staff, you berated them, and then Matt came in just to be mean to them and then left. Didn't even like, have a bite with us, came in, berated them, left.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Awesome.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  And I made sure it was Michelle.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get Michelle out of here, get out of here.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  Fuck you.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  Bring her in, get her out. Uh, but it was so lovely and sweet.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  That was nice. That was, that was, that was Chicago days. What was the year, what was the year post that you, that you defected?

• 47:51Speaker 03

  From Chicago.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  From Chicago.

• 47:52Speaker 03

  I left Chicago, if you can possibly believe it, in May of 2020 to move to Los Angeles.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  Okay, well, at that time, that was kind of a, that was.

• 48:01Speaker 02

  That was the time.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Cause LA was, you know, quote unquote, nicer place to be at that time.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  Totally nice, so you could be outside. And I was driving for Uber Eats at the time. I had no job. I had quit my job to do comedy full time in January of 2020. Let's all have a laugh.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  Right.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  And I thought, I thought things were on the up. And then COVID happened, nothing happened. I was making no money. So I was driving for Uber. And I was like, I'd rather be driving for Uber with the windows down.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  While people are dying left and right all winter.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  I was like, let me, let me get out there. So I moved to LA, uh, then.

• 48:29Speaker 02

  Love.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  I mean, it's all like, like, we're just little paths to a dream in wood and then meeting back up again.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Isn't it so cute though? Like, guys, we've been doing this for a minute.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  I, and that, I, it's now at the point where it's just like, oh, like, how long have I known Bowen? And the answer is seventeen years.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ. That's crazy.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  It's gonna be, it's gonna be half our life soon.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Half our life soon.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  That feels crazy, just to quantify, like, your adult life is.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  Met you in 2008, so what, did we round up and say eighteen?

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Technically.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  Technically eighteen.

• 48:59Speaker 03

  In a couple of years, you guys will have had more life knowing each other than you did when, before you knew each other.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 49:04Speaker 02

  That's how, well, that's, that's, that's where I am with New York City. I'm like, I've spent most of my life here. It's the only place I've been an adult in. Am I robbing myself of something? Don't know.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  How do you mean?

• 49:15Speaker 02

  Like, like, I, like, by saying, like, oh, I haven't lived anywhere else.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  But he knows where he's going when everything goes down.

• 49:22Speaker 03

  Where are you going?

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Ontario.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  Really? Why's that?

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Lake Muskoka. Just lakes, just, there's no, there's no, there's, if you look at all the map overlays, it's like, no, no wildfires, no tornadoes, no earthquakes, no floods.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  He's got his, like, prepper. It's interesting nowadays.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  I think we all gotta be preppers.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  No, it's interesting nowadays because you talk to people and you realize some people in your life have fully prepped. Like, we are, or our friends, who's a couple, I was over there at their, at their apartment, like, a few months ago, and they go, yeah, we're both getting guns. And I'm like, what? And they go, well, when the grid goes down, we both need a gun in case, in case one of us goes.

• 49:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:59Speaker 01

  I was like, excuse me?

• 50:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  They were like, yeah, well, if one of us goes, if one of us goes down, you need someone to cover. I was like, you guys have really thought about, like.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  Who are these people? These lesbians?

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Hey, guys.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  See, it's the lesbians that are doing it to me. And I heard something even more concerning recently. I was at a lesbian, more concerning than gun, if you can believe it. I was at a lesbian's house recently. They told me that, they said, yeah, several of us just got walkie talkies.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  I said, "I'm not paying attention to you."

• 50:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 50:21Speaker 03

  I very clearly am not tapped into what you guys are-

• 50:23Speaker 01

  For their compound that they're like already like-

• 50:25Speaker 03

  I said walkie talkies?

• 50:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, walkie talkies.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  If it comes walkie talkie time, give me the gun.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  If it comes walkie talkie time-

• 50:32Speaker 03

  I'm not doing walkie talkie time.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Well, I go, I go like, if the grid goes down, I'm out.

• 50:37Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm killing myself. I'm not doing walkie talkies.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  I am not doing walkies. I'm not doing generators. I'm not, because then, what, we're camping? And I hate that.

• 50:48Speaker 03

  I'm not camping.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  My love, when my wifi goes out, I almost jump out a window. I'm not surviving when the grid goes down.

• 50:54Speaker 03

  Not at all. I, I, the things I find the space in my heart and soul to complain about, my current, present life-

• 51:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  You wouldn't want to see me. Also, it can't be that those things are called walkie talkies as the technical term, right?

• 51:06Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  There's gotta be a more technical term, right?

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Whatever it is, when the grid goes down, those nails, bye bye.

• 51:12Speaker 03

  No. God, don't do closeups on them. It's really embarrassing.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:15Speaker 03

  I'm not doing walkie talkies. I'm not doing survivalist stuff. I like, will come to the lake with you for a little bit if I can still like drive. But I'm not, if the grid goes down, I'm, I'm not doing it. One of my friends drew a map, drew a hand drawn map-

• 51:27Speaker 02

  Hot.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  I guess, of how to get from New York to this piece of land that their family owns in Pennsylvania, in case we need to escape. I said, "Yeah, I'm just not, I'm obviously not reading the things you guys are reading." I'm not, I can't be involved in all that.

• 51:39Speaker 01

  We're running different races.

• 51:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  Like, you're trying to fight, like, with people. I'm like, again, fighting with my microwave to work.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  I'm like, "What is going on?"

• 51:47Speaker 03

  I have a different challenge.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  Oh, the whole grid is fully working and better than ever.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  And I'm barely surviving.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  The grid is up.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  And I'm barely getting by.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  I mean, in theory, it's Ontario for me, but it's like, who knows? Like, at, at that point, I just, I, I just hope I'm there when shit goes down.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:02Speaker 02

  Which is so unlikely.

• 52:06Speaker 02

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• 53:03Speaker 02

  Time for some prep wisdom.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  But first, some common sense, people. Everyone is different. Every one. Yes, even you. Yes, even your situationship.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  Especially your situationship. And just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters, your routine, your chaos level, your "I might forget my own birthday" energy. All of it counts.

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Basically, talk to your doctor. Have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed, encouraged even. Okay, did you write all that down? No? Don't worry.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Okay, we've been talking about QP mail for a minute now, Bo. And wow, the feedback we're getting. I mean, so many of y'all love this stuff.

• 53:59Speaker 02

  You're stopping us in the street going, "I love QP." And if you're thinking, "Wait, what is QP? Uh, do you not have the internet?" It's the OG Japanese mayonnaise. The one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle.

• 54:12Speaker 01

  Once you know it, you start seeing it everywhere. People ask what makes it different from basic mayo. Well, the answer? Egg yolks.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  QP is made with egg yolks only, giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything. Burgers, fries, sandwiches, chicken, noodles.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  Chefs use it, restaurants use it, people who really love food and flavor use it.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  Whatever you're eating, QP it. So if you haven't tried QP yet... Find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. You'll understand. Cupi, the original Japanese mayonnaise. You know, we've been talking about refreshing our living rooms recently, so we went to wayfair.com.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  Top of mind stuff. I got an Elroy Modern Abstract Machine Washable Area Rug with non-slip rubber backing. What about you, Bo?

• 55:00Speaker 02

  No way. I got a Hertford Wide Mid-Century Upholstered Solid Wood Accent Chair with an extra pillow.

• 55:06Speaker 01

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• 55:14Speaker 02

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• 55:39Speaker 01

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• 55:47Speaker 02

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• 55:53Speaker 01

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• 56:07Speaker 00

  Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  What do you guys want out of your life? Can I ask you an earnest question?

• 56:12Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  We've been gay guy, we've been vulnerable. What else can we be, earnest?

• 56:17Speaker 01

  I think we can be all sorts of things. That's really what this podcast has.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  What do you guys really want?

• 56:21Speaker 01

  What do I really want? You know what? I think I would like to, I think I like my life and I like the way it's developing and I want it to continue. But it's, I stopped, like I said the other day, I was like, I don't really believe anymore in making plans after like six months. Like six months ahead. It's like, I can see my schedule and I can see what I'm doing for a few months, but like, I don't, I couldn't wrap my head around a five-year plan or a grand plan for my life. My life because I feel like that would weirdly be limiting. I'm like open to things because I've surprised myself so far, I think. And then in terms of like, you know, the romantic stuff and like all of that, like I, I think that

• 57:05Speaker 01

  right now I'm in the mode of like, I just want to follow good feelings and what is meant to be will be. But I can't, I, I don't know. I can't, I can't. It's not that I can't make goals anymore. It's just that like, I don't think it would be useful for me. I'm just kind of like, let's just see.

• 57:22Speaker 03

  Everybody's feeling that way. I don't think anyone can see the future, which is a real, I, I don't know if that's new or if that's like always been kind of happening or what, but I, I really don't think so many people living right now that are like our age or younger are really thinking 20 years from now and going like, I know what that'll look like.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Because this is the first time in society, someone was saying this on what like Al Jazeera or something. This is the first time in society where we are mourning the future in advance.

• 57:52Speaker 03

  That was pretty scary.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  We're not, that's like, this is the first time as a, as a people that we're like, oh, 20 years from now, well, that's, that's so uncertain that like I can't, and that puts you in a crazy existential funk where you're like, what the fuck am I supposed to do now if like, if I, there's nothing to reap like in 20, in 20 years.

• 58:10Speaker 03

  I just watched this incredible documentary called Join or Die. Have y'all seen this?

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Join or Die.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  Join or Die. Has anyone heard of this?

• 58:18Speaker 01

  What's Join or Die?

• 58:19Speaker 03

  It's so wonderful. This guy, and I don't remember anyone's names from it, sorry. But this researcher researched for a long time, like, um, like governments and socie- like societies and like little different like regions. And I think mostly in Italy at first, and then he came back to the States. He's from the States. He basically did research on like, what makes people feel cohesive? Like what is the basis of community? Like, what makes rich community where people feel bought into their democracies and like, what is that thing? And he basically started charting it with like, um, involvement in social groups, like Kiwanis or the Elks Lodge or choirs or like choral groups or, you know, these things that we used to have so many social clubs, like the women's suffrage movement started out. Like a women's social club and like, like many of like WB DuBois's like speeches came at like

• 59:04Speaker 03

  social clubs, like places where people gathered to be like part of like societies and things.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  Like third spaces.

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Exactly, but the as, as like mistrust in the government and like the disenchantment with democracy has gone up in like a pretty straight line inversely, association with like groups has gone down. Yep. And I was so fascinated by this. It's a really, really good documentary. It's on Netflix. Shout out you guys. Shout out. Shout out Netflix. You're doing great things. Love y'all and and all the streamers. And all the streamers, by the way.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  I just love you guys. Physical media, boo. Physical media. I hope everything streams forever.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  And it will.

• 59:44Speaker 03

  And stop sending movies to theaters, by the way. Can we stream them? And it was really, really good though. It was, it was really fascinating. And I was like, oh yeah, we're really not in, in groups anymore.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  Because, and like the perfect sort of recipe for whatever like little manipulative things is like there's, there's a reason, like we're, we're less and less motivated to go and, and seek out these spaces and clubs and stuff.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  Because we're on our phones.

• 1:00:08Speaker 03

  We're on our phones and also there's not, there's no real belief, I think, on the, on a mask. I just was reading the, maybe yesterday morning about this town. I think it was in Oklahoma, that their city council and their mayor.

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  You're obsessed with Oklahoma, by the way.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  I love Oklahoma. Can't get enough of it. Cannot get enough of it. Shout out to Oklahoma.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  Shout out.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  Oklahoma readers, what are your, his other ones? Katie, Katie? Readers, Katie's Publicis, Finalist and Kyle's. Oklahoma fans of the show. Shout out.

• 1:00:34Speaker 03

  They're their own, they're their own subgroup now. Yep. Oklahoma, yeah. Oklahomaans. Lost, yeah, I can't do it right now. But I was reading something that this town, they like approved a giant like AI data center, the city council, and the town like got together and like marched into city hall and turned in like a fully signed

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  petition to have all of them recalled. Everyone on city council and the mayor entirely put up for like a recall vote immediately. And it was like this surge of like, they do not want this fucking data center. They're being sold out by their officials. But it's, you need, it needs to be on that kind of scale for people to believe that we can affect change because. We can. Yep. It just needs to be scaled down to where it's like manageable to take bites.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, like somebody was saying like the other day, it's like even with the protests, like it feels like we were often hearing like this was the largest protest in history or like this was the biggest day. It like it still feels like when you zoom out and look at what's happening in the world like there I I understand that thought of like, okay, well, how many times have we heard that? And yet it feels like the world is getting worse and worse and worse.

• 1:01:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  It it but then when you think of community on a small scale, it's very easy for me to think about like people walking into a town hall and like making change because people would be forced to listen. I think what's like so shitty is it's like it doesn't matter anymore how large like a voice we are saying we don't want something. We're so separated from the people that can make change and make power and they're so siloed off from us that it's like totally fruitless.

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  Yesterday they did they did like attacks the rich rally in the Bronx and someone was like, it was great like it was just like people who already know this.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  And but what they were like so like, I don't know, like it felt like interesting like it we weren't sure like where this is all going. I was like, oh, no, the fact that you guys even like gathered is kind of like the win, right? It's like it's like what you're saying, it's like these movements start out of literal like biomass, like living, breathing creatures, like coming together for whatever reason.

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm really of two minds about it because I feel also that I had this conversation with a lot of friends after like 2016 because it was a very funny experience for me as someone who had lived my whole life up into that point in Missouri. That so many of my friends on the coasts for the first time were being like, we gotta pay attention to the middle of the country. And I was like, oh, were you guys not?

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  I was like, oh, I was. And so that was really interesting to me. I like learned a lot from that moment. And then I I have this kind of feeling that I'm like, something is gonna have to give eventually with the fact that like so many people like leftist, like good hearted people who really want a brighter future for all of us. We say that things are so dire right now and we say that like this is really as bad as it can get. It is so existential. And then the truth is that if a bunch of us moved to other places and started like having hard conversations, I think we have the winning argument. I think good people who want a better future that is not controlled by a handful of billionaires actually have the winning argument. And a lot of working people who don't vote the way we think maybe they should agree with us.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  Yep. If we, if it's so existential, a bunch of us are gonna have to move to places like Ohio and get to work. And we're not doing that. And so that's okay, but we're gonna have to like eventually do something about the cognitive dissonance of the, the statement that things are existentially dire and we, we have to make, take drastic measures. And then also, nobody wants to move to West Virginia.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  The thing is though, I feel like, like, yes, it's okay that people don't do that, but if, if that's not going to be the case, if we're not going to engage with them in like a real way like that, then we have to at least, I think, make sure we're not siling, siloing off in a media way.

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  Right. I really want, and this was almost an I don't think so, honey for me, but it's not, but the, the, what I really want is for Democrats to start being who Republicans say they are.

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:12Speaker 03

  There's, Republicans keep saying that Democrats are these like transgender leftist radicals who wanna like destroy the billionaire class. And then you cut to Chuck Schumer, and it's like, he's not on estrogen, he's not sucking dick, he's not doing anything for working people. Like, there's just nothing. And then their whole pitch, like Gavin Newsom's whole pitch is like, hey, I'm not so different from the Republicans. And it's like, well, bitch, can you be?

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  Can somebody be? Does, does anyone have any interest in being different than these fucking cretins? Like,

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  It makes me feel fucking crazy because you look at a place like Missouri where Trump wins by, you know, 14, 15, 20 points, whatever. And then abortion, they, they passed the strictest abortion ban in the country, and then they put it up for a referendum and the people vote it down by three points. So that's a 20 plus point swing between Trump winning and a very contentious progressive issue winning on, with the same voters.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:04:58Speaker 03

  Same thing with legalized marijuana, same thing with, uh, raising the minimum wage and giving people paid sick leave, all very leftist ideas. They're winning on the same ballots that Trump is winning. So we very clearly have a candidate problem. And I think if the, the solution was people like Gavin Newsom, coming in with like a slick haircut and, and not wearing a tie, so we think he's regular. Spare me. Coming in and parroting the same things they're talking about, we've already had that choice. We've already had that choice and it didn't work. So I, I just feel crazy all the time. I feel fucking crazy.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  I mean, I was watching something yesterday about like, well, it looks like Kamala Harris is running again. And so that means that her and Gavin Newsom will be at the top of, uh, at the top of the polls. And I'm like, well, that just sounds like a lot of wasted time.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  Guys, why?

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  Because.

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  Let's run someone crazy. Let's run someone, let's run a fucking like kooky leftist art teacher from like Middlebury, Ohio. Let's run someone nuts. Let's just go crazy with it. I just don't think, I'm sorry, but I just don't think Kamala and Gavin are gonna do it.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  No. I mean, it's, it's just never gonna happen. I, I, it's, cause it, it just goes back to the thing of what people didn't like, I think holistically, was that he was the, the type of like, you can even tell in the way he does his hair and the way he talks and he comes out and says things like, we need to be more culturally normal. And that's gonna like fix our problems. I'm like, what, what, yeah, what exactly do you mean by that? And he is like so slyly, or he thinks he's so slyly homophobic. Meanwhile, it just is homophobia.

• 1:06:19Speaker 03

  Also, they, any, any Republican with any level of like acumen is going to destroy him on that culturally normal shit.

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  100%.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  I know he thinks he's courting middle voters, but brother, you grew up rich in California.

• 1:06:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  Your culturally normal thing is not gonna fly in a, in the middle of the country. Like, it doesn't fly with me. I'm like culturally normal, I don't feel anything like you. And it's not because I love trans people, I do, but it's like, I don't feel related to you at all because you're uh, like a slick career politician who ju, you wanna be president so bad that I like, ew, ew, ew, I hate it. That being said, I think if gay guys with podcasts were president, this country would be in such a good place.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:56Speaker 02

  God.

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  But he's always, he's always, you know, I'm confident we could do it.

• 1:07:02Speaker 03

  I think we could do it.

• 1:07:03Speaker 01

  And that's why we make a great team.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  Roger's hair in looked good on.

• 1:07:09Speaker 03

  Bowen Supreme Court? You would be incredible on the Supreme Court. You would be incredible on the Supreme Court.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  I.

• 1:07:16Speaker 03

  You in that robe.

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  I was gonna say.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  Thank you. Thank you so much.

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  Why'd you wanna push back so bad though?

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  No, no, no, I was just thinking, I was like, uh.

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  Cause he wants to move to Canada. I wanna move to Canada. I don't want, I don't want any of this.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  Well, speaking of culturally normal.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  Oh wait, my god, wait, we haven't asked Caleb the question.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  We haven't even asked Caleb the question, which is, um, how did you become culturally you?

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  Caleb Hearon, what was the culture that made you say culture was for you?

• 1:07:41Speaker 03

  Okay, let me ask you, is this supposed to be one thing?

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  No, it can be anything. It can be Missouri, it can be like a movie, a show, a song, a singer. It can be any.

• 1:07:49Speaker 03

  Yes. Okay, I have so many things to say, but Wide Open Spaces, album by The Chicks. Wide Open Spaces, the album by The Chicks. Formerly Dixie.

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  Formerly Dixie.

• 1:07:59Speaker 03

  We're not doing that anymore. The Chicks.

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  The Chicks.

• 1:08:01Speaker 03

  That album has everything. It has, it has your mom and your aunt screaming along in the car. It has heartbreak, it has killing a man who cheated on you.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:09Speaker 03

  Or, sorry, abused you.

• 1:08:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:10Speaker 03

  It has, he probably cheated too. It has, it has, it has fun dance tunes, it has fiddle. Wide Open Spaces by The Chicks is one of the greatest pieces of art we have ever seen in this country.

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:08:23Speaker 03

  And it really is what The American Project was all leading to. Since then, who knows what happened? Wide Open Spaces by The Chicks, god, I love those ladies.

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, The American Project ended and failed when, when, you know, when the whole fucking thing happened.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  Yes. When they got in trouble, by the way, most people don't even remember this, when The Chicks got in trouble.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  They were right.

• 1:08:42Speaker 03

  What, they, not only were they right, but they didn't even say anything that crazy. It was one concert in Paris or London.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:47Speaker 03

  Where Natalie.

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  Paris, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:49Speaker 03

  Where Natalie says, "We just want you all to know, we're on the good side with you. We are ashamed of this war and we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas." Uh, that's a fucking softball. I've said crazier things, like, that is insane. They were right and they should be, the, oh, god, I love them so much, I could cry. I love them, they're so special. And Natalie Maynes is so principled.

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:09:08Speaker 03

  And so talented. And I love her.

• 1:09:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:11Speaker 03

  Oh, I love this.

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  And you know what's crazy is it's like, what, the Gaslighter album?

• 1:09:16Speaker 02

  So good.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  Like, I, which I also love, which was their most recent album, like, it, I hated that it got tougher for her.

• 1:09:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  Because her fucking husband, the guy, Adrian Pasdar from Heroes, which was such a disappointment as a Heroes fan. That he was such like a, you know, what is it, "Tights on My Boat"?

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:09:35Speaker 01

  Like, that was so disappointing, I'm like, wow, this woman couldn't even catch a fucking break.

• 1:09:39Speaker 03

  Brought her backstage at the Hollywood Bowl?

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:42Speaker 03

  Adrian Pasdar, it is on sight, brother.

• 1:09:44Speaker 01

  It's really on sight.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  If I see you in the streets, we need to have minimum, a strongly worded conversation.

• 1:09:49Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:09:49Speaker 03

  Maximum, glove up, let's box.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  He's not, he's not on the streets anymore.

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  I don't know where he's at.

• 1:09:53Speaker 02

  He's too scared.

• 1:09:54Speaker 01

  No, I, there's no way.

• 1:09:55Speaker 02

  But Wide Open Spaces, this, when did you encounter this album?

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Wide Open Spaces came out in the late nineties.

• 1:10:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:02Speaker 03

  So I was a very young, I mean, most of my early, my mom is like my biggest inspiration in the world and like pretty much everything good about me is because of my mom.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:10:11Speaker 03

  And most of my like, music taste comes from my mom like blaring songs in the car.

• 1:10:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  And us like driving somewhere. I mean, we just always had to go somewhere. Like, we always had to go like, she was always rushing to get to work and drop us off at the babysitter or like we had to go to like, like, it just feels like we were always driving.

• 1:10:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:26Speaker 03

  Cause we were. And yeah, I just, she would play, I feel like I really came to understand when I got a little bit older, that like, country music by women at that time was really giving framework for a bunch of women who didn't have like a formal education.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  Giving them a framework for feminism.

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  And it's not like they were sitting around chatting like that, but it was the feeling of like, I never saw the women in my life so alive as when they were listening to The Chicks and Shania Twain and Jodie.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  Martina.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Martina McBride, Faith Hill.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:10:56Speaker 03

  Like, the list goes on and on and on. And, uh, Leanne Womack, like, it just really, yeah, it made them light up in a way and I, I think it's because it was like music for them about their lives that was so empowering. And so I really fell in love with that music because I saw all the women in my life like come alive to it.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:13Speaker 03

  And, yeah, the women in my life were always just genuinely, for the most part, funnier and like more vibrant and interesting than the men who were talking over them. And the talking over women thing has become like, kind of like, um, it got like beat over the head nauseatingly, I feel like, to a point.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  But there, it really, when I was growing up, was like, these women couldn't get a word in edgewise and they were funnier and smarter.

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:32Speaker 03

  And that drove me fucking insane. And, yeah, seeing them, like, listening to, like, The Chicks and singing along, I just felt that there was something going on that was like very special.

• 1:11:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:42Speaker 03

  And I fell in love with it because it was just the best feeling in the world.

• 1:11:44Speaker 01

  Uh. See, and I also wonder in the, in the aftermath of all that happening, how frustrating that must have been for women who probably were being told by their husbands, like, we don't fucking like them anymore. Like, we're burning their albums and doing the CDs and like, how shitty it must have felt.

• 1:11:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, I also feel like, I, I don't wanna, I, I wanna make sure that when I say that there, there wasn't a formal education around feminism, the women in my life were feminists in ways that people who have only studied in the classroom couldn't. Never like their feminism was still important and real and and powerful. They they were taking stances and making swings and stuff. I just mean like.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  Formally.

• 1:12:19Speaker 03

  Formally, like there wasn't this thing that I experienced when I went to college where a bunch of people were sitting around talking about ideas and being like, this is why this should be this way. And like, this is an example of this. Like, it was more just this lived experience of like, yeah, these shitty annoying men.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:32Speaker 03

  Like ruining your life at every turn and you just kind of having like, I think like, yeah, I don't want to be there. So there are many women I have known in my life that have had to stay with a man because they they just could not afford to live without them. And the things you have to put up with to be in that situation. Yeah, the one of the only times I saw them feel really like.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:12:50Speaker 03

  Like really lit up was when they were listening to this kind of music.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Cause they were.

• 1:12:53Speaker 02

  It is liberating music.

• 1:12:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were telling stories of like what it might be like to like, and I think that's there's a catharsis in being like, what if we just kill them? You know what I mean? Like, there's like, there's that's what I love about music is like you live in a different world for three and a half minutes and like for three and a half minutes, people were living in a world where it was like, you know, I cathartically had this experience and listening to this song where I fucking killed my husband with my best friend or I got I got I helped my friend that I'm seeing struggle out of a situation. It didn't actually happen, but cathartically and like, you know, metaphorically was lived in.

• 1:13:26Speaker 02

  Right. But it's like, the thing about music is that it is accessible.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:30Speaker 02

  You don't have to like, at the time, you didn't have to like pop Thelma and Louise in the VCR and like watch us, watch a story or a parable portraying like feminine power in this way. You can just like turn it on the radio or you could like put pop the CD in the car as you're driving as it's like in the weather of your life, like the like, just is in the climate of your life.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:50Speaker 02

  Like that's the tricks are fucking major. I'm I'm, I need to go back and really give wide open spaces like a full list like like track to track listening because I always go to fly. Fly is my.

• 1:14:01Speaker 03

  Incredible album. Incredible album.

• 1:14:02Speaker 02

  But wide open spaces are right. Like that is like just the three of them on that cover, just like light on their feet.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Well, that was like, that and Fly were like the, wide open spaces in that were like the peak.

• 1:14:13Speaker 02

  The peak, for sure, for sure.

• 1:14:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, and the music was great.

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, but also, but not ready to make nice was also, but what was, oh, Taken the Long Way. That is just like, that's the album of the year win where you're like, fuck, yes.

• 1:14:25Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:14:26Speaker 02

  At least that was like the only, like the vindication that we could have hoped for at the time. Now, I think long term, it's like, of course, we're all like on the same page about the chicks. It's unfortunate what happened to them, but like them winning album of the year for Taken the Long Way. And I thought Gaslighter was like a success.

• 1:14:42Speaker 01

  I loved Gaslighter.

• 1:14:43Speaker 02

  It was a success, though. Like, I feel commercially it did well, right?

• 1:14:45Speaker 01

  I think so. It was deep in the pandemic when it came out. I don't know how much it was like interacting with. I remember I would listen to it constantly when it came out. I loved them. How do you sleep at night?

• 1:14:56Speaker 03

  Oh, my god.

• 1:14:57Speaker 01

  That music video is great, too.

• 1:14:58Speaker 03

  And Texas Man.

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:15:00Speaker 03

  I could, ooh, yeah.

• 1:15:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:02Speaker 03

  Also, another one, did you guys ever see, I'm always evangelizing about this. Did you guys ever see Monique's Queens of Comedy set?

• 1:15:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:15:10Speaker 03

  This set changed my life.

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  Wait, and also, did you, I'm sure you've seen the one where she was, went to the women's prison.

• 1:15:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I've not.

• 1:15:16Speaker 01

  Oh, there's, she, she has such an incredible set at a women's prison where she goes and it was just, they were living for her. And I was just like, people don't talk about her talent as a stand up. They don't talk about her talent across the board enough anyway.

• 1:15:29Speaker 03

  They disrespect her at every turn.

• 1:15:31Speaker 01

  Every turn.

• 1:15:32Speaker 02

  She's been ahead of it at every turn with the open relationship stuff with like, I'm not shaving my fucking legs.

• 1:15:35Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 1:15:36Speaker 02

  I'm not campaigning for an Oscar.

• 1:15:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:15:38Speaker 02

  Like, I'm not doing this shit that you're telling me to do.

• 1:15:40Speaker 03

  Monique has everything. Her Queens of Comedy set was one of the first times, I mean, I grew up in such a like, fatness was either like a bad thing or a joke. Like, best case, being fat was a joke. Worst case and more normal was it was like this horrific thing to be like, oh, my gosh, if you were ever, if anyone was fat, it was like they were like dying to change it. And it was really seeped into like my personhood. And Monique was genuinely, the first time she opens that Queens of Comedy set, she came out and like, she was a big fat woman at the time. And she came out in this like leatherette, like sexy, slinky little thing. And she walked out and she was like, every fat bitch in this room should be on their feet clapping for me right now.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:12Speaker 03

  She was like, skinny bitches don't have what it takes.

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:14Speaker 03

  Skinny bit, like, it just like.

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  Don't have what it takes.

• 1:16:17Speaker 03

  They just don't, she just like went in and I have, I had never seen a fat person like own a room like that.

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:23Speaker 03

  And it was genuinely one of the first times that I was like, oh, maybe I don't have to hate myself. Like, maybe there is a reality where I can just like myself and feel confident. And I owe so much of my like. Six, like, any success I have, or any, like, um, confidence I have on stage, I genuinely owe, at least in part, to watching that set for the first one hundred percent. It's so good. If you, if you're listening to this, readers, publicists, Oklahoma publicists, I'm coming to you now. If you have not seen this set, go watch it. It's really fucking amazing.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  Also, like, that set, one hundred percent, and then this, this prison set I'm referencing, I'll never forget. One, one of the bits in any early stand-up I watched at that time that stuck with me was hers from that prison set. It was her reckoning with homophobia, and I remember at the to- the homophobia that she was feeling.

• 1:17:14Speaker 01

  And I remember at the time, I was probably like fourteen, fifteen, sixteen years old, so hyper-aware of when someone was being homophobic, especially in a stand-up comedy set, because I was like, I really want, I respected the art form and knew I wanted to do it someday, or something like it. And she went on this run about how, like, she was pretty sure that one of her sons had a gay friend. And she was like, and this gay kid's coming over, and I'm like, what the fuck? And then she did this run about how, like, her son looked at her and was like, what do you care if he's gay? He's a good person, and, like, I love him, and, like, it's not a big deal. And she was, like, relating it to how she knew a lot of the women in the audience were lesbians. She's like, who here is gay?

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  And there was like, yeah, and it was just like, this, this way to reckon with this ugly thing about her that she recognized was a part of, like, the fabric of what she thought at the time, but, like, was, she was working through it in a real way that didn't feel icky as an audience member, or didn't make me feel shitty as a little gay boy watching it. I was just like, this is how you, I think, you know, walk through, like, a phobia that you had, and maybe this could be a note that, you know, every iconic male, straight comedian that's, you know, aged up now, could take. But it was just more interesting for her to unpack what she needed to unpack,

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  than to be like, this is what I don't get, this is what I don't get, this is what I don't get. It was just, it was more developed, and you're right, I think, is because it was her womanhood that was allowing her that lens.

• 1:18:49Speaker 03

  Yes, she, like, gave permission. She really gave so many people permission to be themselves.

• 1:18:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:54Speaker 03

  Genuinely. I love her so much.

• 1:18:55Speaker 02

  And she gave us the iconic quote. The whore jumped out.

• 1:18:59Speaker 03

  The whore jumped out.

• 1:19:01Speaker 02

  Your behavior was whore-like.

• 1:19:03Speaker 03

  Whore-like, and the whore jumped out.

• 1:19:05Speaker 02

  And jumped back in.

• 1:19:06Speaker 03

  Charm School was, we owe, we owe so much to Monique on Charm School. And it's not even like top 10 of what we owe her thank you for, but goddamn, she was so good.

• 1:19:15Speaker 02

  But goddamn, she was so good on Charm School.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  That's why there's no rules, is because it was after Charm School that she won the Academy Award. That's why I say there's no rules in entertainment. You can do anything as long as you're good enough. Because Monique, like, hosted Charm School, and then after that, won the most prestigious award.

• 1:19:31Speaker 02

  Within like three years after Charm School won.

• 1:19:33Speaker 01

  And deservedly so. And, by the way.

• 1:19:35Speaker 02

  Didn't do the whole campaign bullshit.

• 1:19:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, no. Just, just completely annihilated any job she's ever been given.

• 1:19:42Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:19:42Speaker 01

  In a way that is also singular and memorable and real star quality, because there's not another Monique.

• 1:19:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:19:49Speaker 03

  There's not another Monique.

• 1:19:50Speaker 01

  In so many different ways, there's not. Her, like, vocal delivery, her cadence, her, like, her point of view, her bravery, her courage, her choices artistically. There's just not, she just doesn't get the credit.

• 1:20:05Speaker 03

  And she played a horny, inappropriate, freaky legend on the Parkers, and we have to, have to, thank her for that. She was chasing that man down the halls. And it was inappropriate, but really funny, and I love her so much.

• 1:20:17Speaker 01

  I would also say, one of, one of the top 10 things that I think we do owe her for is in Beer Fest, when she was, when she said, "I'mma break your dick off." When she was riding someone's penis. I'll never forget the beer, her performance in Beer Fest, and you can, it's, Supporting Actress nomination was deserved for Beer Fest as well. A film that I'll remind you exists, Beer Fest.

• 1:20:40Speaker 02

  When did that come out?

• 1:20:41Speaker 01

  I mean, had to be 2006 or 2007, because the peer pressure that I must have felt to go see that. Can only be described as.

• 1:20:50Speaker 03

  If I was there, it had to be during a time where it was socially advantageous for me to attend the film.

• 1:20:55Speaker 01

  If I was seeing Beer Fest at Islet Movie Theater, it must have been 2006.

• 1:21:00Speaker 02

  These are phenomenal answers, Kayla.

• 1:21:02Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:21:02Speaker 03

  I could go on and on and on, but yeah, these are, those are two that really stick out to me. Also, the movie Miss Congeniality.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:21:08Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Give some, give some favorite elements of the film.

• 1:21:12Speaker 03

  Sandra Bullock, Sandra Bullock is, once again, one of the best things that we have to offer the world.

• 1:21:18Speaker 02

  100%.

• 1:21:19Speaker 03

  As human beings and in the universe, really. I would hold her, I would put her in a very small class of people that we should show to the, we should give her work to the aliens to say, this is what we can do.

• 1:21:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is what a movie star is.

• 1:21:29Speaker 03

  This is what a movie star is, bring that back. I mean, she really is so, there are a million, million moments, but really, I was re-watching it recently and one of the moments that stuck out to me is when she's on the plane, okay? Going to get her makeover and she's watching the videos of like the queens.

• 1:21:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:42Speaker 03

  Like she's trying to learn how to give an acceptance speech.

• 1:21:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:45Speaker 03

  And she's like, and she's like really going for it.

• 1:21:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:48Speaker 03

  I, I just was like, God, to be as like charming and genuinely good at acting and also fucking DNA funny as she is.

• 1:21:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:56Speaker 03

  Many people think they have it and they just.

• 1:21:58Speaker 02

  And they just don't. I will never forget the way she says when Benjamin Bratt brings like his like hot new girl to like the bar and she's eating ice cream. He's like, I'll take a gin and tonic and she'll have, and then Sandra goes, milk.

• 1:22:11Speaker 03

  Milk.

• 1:22:13Speaker 02

  So good.

• 1:22:14Speaker 03

  So many people, yeah, we, we just don't have that.

• 1:22:18Speaker 01

  Everybody in that cast is great. Shatner, Candy Bergen. Oh, Candice Bergen is so fab.

• 1:22:21Speaker 03

  Candice Bergen stands up and the crown is perfectly on top of her head and the hello?

• 1:22:25Speaker 01

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 1:22:25Speaker 03

  Talk about directing a film.

• 1:22:27Speaker 02

  Direction.

• 1:22:27Speaker 03

  Let's talk about directing a film. We're not directing films anymore.

• 1:22:31Speaker 01

  No, we're not.

• 1:22:31Speaker 03

  The crown should be placed.

• 1:22:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, honestly, that was good. And I also like Benjamin Bratt, he was an iconic hottie of the time.

• 1:22:38Speaker 03

  Michael Caine, legendary performance.

• 1:22:40Speaker 01

  So good.

• 1:22:42Speaker 03

  She, he says, he says, he says, the year we lost, the girl was a deaf mute. You can't beat that.

• 1:22:48Speaker 01

  You can't beat that. So funny.

• 1:22:51Speaker 03

  Please.

• 1:22:52Speaker 01

  This woman has no talent.

• 1:22:54Speaker 03

  Legend, legend.

• 1:22:55Speaker 02

  Will you desist?

• 1:22:57Speaker 03

  Desist.

• 1:22:58Speaker 01

  So good. That movie's amazing.

• 1:23:00Speaker 03

  It's incredible.

• 1:23:01Speaker 02

  It's incredible.

• 1:23:01Speaker 01

  They just had, oh God, I just took the, the flight back from, from Thailand and they had like Sandra Bullock's entire discography.

• 1:23:09Speaker 03

  Thank God.

• 1:23:10Speaker 01

  And I did, I did choose to watch, discography.

• 1:23:14Speaker 03

  Discography by the way.

• 1:23:17Speaker 03

  Her sound, her unique sound.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  Imagine she had like, she was famous enough at one point where she could have been like, I'm doing music.

• 1:23:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  Remember when Reese Witherspoon flirted with that after, um, Walk the Line?

• 1:23:28Speaker 02

  I walked while you.

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  They were like, well, you know, she, she's so good in Walk the Line. Um, but they were like, maybe she'll release an album and I believe that that was like flirted with for a second, but no.

• 1:23:36Speaker 02

  Cause this is the era when ScarJo was coming out with music, like the, the girls were, the girls of that ilk were like coming out with, with, with songs.

• 1:23:43Speaker 03

  Oh, it'll happen for me. I'll do it.

• 1:23:44Speaker 01

  Anne Hathaway.

• 1:23:45Speaker 03

  Oh, I'll do it.

• 1:23:46Speaker 01

  Have you heard, have you heard her song, Burial?

• 1:23:49Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:23:50Speaker 01

  So, so Mother Mary, she's done a song with Charli XCX, Jack Antonoff, and I believe she co-wrote on it.

• 1:23:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:23:57Speaker 01

  It's called, This is your burial.

• 1:23:59Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 1:24:00Speaker 01

  She's giving like sort of Gaga, Charli XCX, ex pop star in her other movie coming out next month. It's called Mother Mary with Michaela Cole, where she plays like, it's like, it's like a sapphic, like pop stars, like sort of like weird freaky deaky little.

• 1:24:16Speaker 03

  And by the way, talk about another person that we should give up to the aliens to show what we're capable of. Anne Hathaway. Anne's performance in, of course, everything, but we can, we do not talk enough.

• 1:24:26Speaker 02

  Richard getting married?

• 1:24:27Speaker 03

  About, what's that now?

• 1:24:28Speaker 01

  Nothing on getting married.

• 1:24:29Speaker 02

  Keep going, keep going.

• 1:24:30Speaker 03

  Okay, but let me, let me raise you this. Her performance in Brokeback Mountain.

• 1:24:34Speaker 01

  Oh, please. Her on the phone when she just goes.

• 1:24:38Speaker 01

  She just makes a little noise.

• 1:24:39Speaker 03

  Hello? It's called acting and we don't see it enough anymore.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:24:43Speaker 03

  She's so goddamn good in that movie.

• 1:24:45Speaker 01

  So fucking good in it.

• 1:24:46Speaker 03

  She was incredible in Western shirts.

• 1:24:48Speaker 01

  Got all the air, but like, and I also appreciate that movie for what it did for Michelle Williams and she deserved that.

• 1:24:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:24:54Speaker 01

  But Anne got lost in the conversation and she was giving a great blonde performance.

• 1:24:58Speaker 03

  Yes. She was, she was phenomenal. She was phenomenal in that movie and I, yeah, she really is. What was the one you were saying?

• 1:25:04Speaker 02

  Rachel getting married.

• 1:25:05Speaker 03

  I haven't seen it.

• 1:25:06Speaker 02

  Crashes a car.

• 1:25:07Speaker 01

  Oh, you're gonna love Rachel getting married.

• 1:25:09Speaker 03

  I'm gonna watch it.

• 1:25:10Speaker 02

  She's like, in recent interviews, has been like, I, like, they asked her, like, what's like an undersung role of yours? She's like, I'm really proud of Rachel getting married, and as she should be.

• 1:25:18Speaker 03

  I'm gonna watch it.

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  I gotta say, too, I did recently watch, rewatched the clip of I Dreamed a Dream, and you forget she did it in one take.

• 1:25:25Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:25:25Speaker 01

  Like, it was done, it was done live in one take, right there in her face, and you, you think, like, because Les Mis, kind of, when you look back at it, people are like, oh, iffy about, like, the, the very close-up singing and sort of the way it was done. She killed it, really, singing and using her voice and acting it in a way that was.

• 1:25:47Speaker 02

  Oscar-worthy?

• 1:25:48Speaker 03

  She's not fucking around. She is not fucking around.

• 1:25:50Speaker 01

  Can you tell us about the big film?

• 1:25:52Speaker 03

  That was part of two.

• 1:25:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:54Speaker 03

  Do you know what is so funny, you guys? When I, I had, I had kind of, like, sworn off auditioning for the moment. When that audition came through, I was like, I'm not really auditioning right now. I'm really tired of, like, going out for stuff.

• 1:26:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:03Speaker 03

  And, and just kind of, like, not really, I felt like I was self-taping all the time. We all go through eras like that, where it's like, I'm self-taping constantly. The things I end up getting are from a friend, anyway.

• 1:26:12Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 1:26:12Speaker 03

  I just was like, I can't do it for a moment, I need some space to breathe. And then this one came through, and I, I literally in my head was like, if someone asked me to put $5,000 down on if I would get it, or if one of you, or like Benny Skinner would get it. I almost didn't audition, because I was like, this is so one of those guys. Like, I was like, they, they are, this is like a Matt Bowen Benny.

• 1:26:32Speaker 02

  Nah, nah.

• 1:26:33Speaker 03

  And I, and I did, and I taped for it anyway, and it was so fucking fun. It was so cool. And I, I, by the way, someone should put us and Benny in a movie, the four of us.

• 1:26:42Speaker 01

  Please, well, we'll write it.

• 1:26:44Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 1:26:45Speaker 01

  Someone write down that we have to write that.

• 1:26:47Speaker 03

  Someone take a note. Remind me to write this film.

• 1:26:49Speaker 01

  Can someone just write that down?

• 1:26:50Speaker 03

  Um, but it was so fun, I'm, like, it was a crazy to be a part of, and, and Anne is so, like, I'm most, um, I think Disney people will tell us if I'm allowed to say this or not, but most of my, um, stuff is with Anne in the, in the movie, and she's so phenomenal.

• 1:27:05Speaker 02

  I think that Disney adults would tell you.

• 1:27:06Speaker 03

  Disney adults will let me know. Disney adults will let me know what I'm allowed to say.

• 1:27:10Speaker 01

  Anything's possible.

• 1:27:12Speaker 03

  They're wearing the hat. I almost wore a Mickey Waffle sweater today. That would have been really cute. I know. I, okay, but I so. Sorry. I almost got on a tangent about Mickey. Okay, so.

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  So, okay, you, you and Anne, most of your stuff is with Anne?

• 1:27:26Speaker 03

  Anne, she's so lovely.

• 1:27:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:27:28Speaker 03

  She's so lovely. I, I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting her until the film. Warmest, loveliest, most energetic, like, really made me go inward about how much energy I bring to work. Like, I was like, I need to step up. Like, if Anne Hathaway is as busy as she is and she's bringing this level of like, I think I'm a warm, energetic person, but she was bringing, to the point where I literally, at one point, was like, Anne, I just have to say, like, the level of energy you bring every day is psychotic. I do not know how you're doing it. Like, I'm so in awe. And I'm like, how do you find the energy? And she's like, I just tell myself that I have it. And I'm like, you are on another level than me. When I tell you she's going before shots, she's going into like what's supposed to be her office and being like, hey, you guys, can we talk really quick? Like, can we collab? Like, I think this vase would be different for her. And can we move this over here? Like, a true fucking artist.

• 1:28:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:12Speaker 03

  And not in an annoying way, in a way that's like genuinely respectful of everyone's craft, like, knew what everyone did, like, uh, yeah, I just was very, her and Marilyn, Stan, like, all of them, watching them work, I was just like, wow, this is really, I knew it would be cool because I'm a huge fan and I like watched the original as like a closeted 11-year-old boy in Missouri and like.

• 1:28:32Speaker 02

  That's so cool.

• 1:28:32Speaker 03

  It, yeah, I could cry. Like, it was just so sweet and cool, but she was, um, she was a delight and such a true talent. It's crazy.

• 1:28:39Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 1:28:40Speaker 03

  A true, pure talent. Going from like conversing like this to being like, uh, all right, and speeding, and then just fucking into it, acting, like, I don't know, it feels sometimes silly to compliment people on the things that are like, yeah, they snap right into character and they knew all their lines, but it's like, she's so busy and she's operating at such a high level on and off the camera. I, yeah, I'm, I'm a huge fan and I'm very inspired by her, actually.

• 1:29:01Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, Caleb, that's not, no, this is, this is so worth talking about. Like, yes, we're talking about someone who's like acclaimed at their craft, but it's like, it's important to talk, to like, kind of pop open the hood for other people and just for us, like amongst ourselves, amongst friends. It's like, oh, because then it like gives it a reason for being, then it like motivates, like, if we're lucky enough to like be in front of the camera again in that capacity, then like, yeah, like, you're inspiring my ass to be like, oh, yeah, you can be like collaborative in that sense and like weigh in because I am so used to like the pecking order of the call sheet or whatever. And I'm like, okay, like, I'm not.

• 1:29:41Speaker 02

  I'm not like number one here, let me like, let everybody else make the decisions for me, but it's like, but I'm just saying like, please talk about this stuff.

• 1:29:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's really inspiring. I'm like very, I fucking love acting so much and getting to watch people do it at that level. And people who have like, or look, if, if, if Anne Hathaway or Meryl Streep or Stanley Tucci wanted to be nightmares on that set.

• 1:30:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:01Speaker 03

  They could totally get away with it and people do and they just opt not to. And I feel like, yeah, I just feel very inspired by that. And it makes me even more frustrated with the people who show up late and don't know their lines and things that I'm like, look, if Anne Hathaway can show up on time, be kind to everyone in a fucking 20 mile radius and like genuinely give warmth and attention to everyone and know her lines and kill the performance and care. I'm like, you, we, you can do it too.

• 1:30:27Speaker 02

  You can do it.

• 1:30:28Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? I'm, and I'm mostly talking about men, but yeah, I just am so inspired by her work ethic and um, yeah, being part of the movie too is really fucking cool.

• 1:30:36Speaker 02

  So excited.

• 1:30:37Speaker 01

  You know what's kind of, what movie two is kind of like, um, it feels like there's like a reassessment of it happening is Interstellar. It feels like it keeps coming up.

• 1:30:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:47Speaker 01

  If, like over the past like six months or so, I keep hearing people being like, actually, have you watched that? Because it's great. And she's one of the best parts of it where she's, she has that, I remember she, it's that rare, when you first watch it, it's like very random. Where they're like banging their heads against the wall, but how they figure out like the time, space continuum or whatever. And Anne Hathaway is like the only woman in America who could sell this, but she's like, her eyes well with tears, she's wearing that like pixie cut. She's like, what if love is the answer?

• 1:31:17Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 1:31:19Speaker 02

  Wake it up.

• 1:31:20Speaker 01

  And I'm like, I, I'm like, I know, like on the page, I'm like, huh? And then I'm like, what? And like, I'm full sobbing. I'm like, what if it's love?

• 1:31:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, what if?

• 1:31:28Speaker 01

  Kind of was.

• 1:31:29Speaker 02

  And it was love by the way.

• 1:31:30Speaker 01

  Spoiler alert, it was love.

• 1:31:32Speaker 02

  He's in that little library. Yeah, I'm spoiling.

• 1:31:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:34Speaker 02

  Crazy fucking movie.

• 1:31:35Speaker 03

  That's a crazy movie.

• 1:31:36Speaker 01

  So I, at the time I couldn't hear it.

• 1:31:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:31:39Speaker 01

  Like, cause the sound mech, I mean, I, uh, we usually have some guys in here who like are down to clown with Chris Nolan movies. They're not like, you're like, here you are. No, I don't really like Nolan. Alright, he doesn't really like Interstellar. He doesn't really like Nolan. No, no, I'm sure he's a fine guy. I don't like.

• 1:31:57Speaker 03

  You know what I can't fuck with? I watched the Dinos documentary, the dinosaur documentary on Netflix recently. Did you guys see the interview about this? Yeah, I saw it. I didn't press play. Wow, don't watch it stoned. Um, what the fuck is going on? What happened with the dinosaurs? There's a part of this documentary, it's narrated by Morgan Freeman, obviously incredible choice. Hope he got paid a lot, I'm sure he did. Uh, it rained for a million years at one point, I guess. What? So, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. That is so crazy, I shouldn't know anything about that. The passage of time, like I literally almost had a panic attack. I was so scared, they start talking about the dinosaurs. Basically, the fact that humans exist is crazy and our lives are so small, just so you know. And the idea that it rained for a million years is gonna go ahead and be something I should have never heard about.

• 1:32:41Speaker 03

  And this is separate from the Ice Age, which was by the way, a whole age. Hello. Where it was ice. Hello. And the dinosaurs, by the way, they were here, then they weren't, now maybe they're birds. I'm not, can't be involved. They, they do say that they were likely birds.

• 1:32:54Speaker 02

  They were like, well, it's just that any color we like, applied to them is just, is conjecture.

• 1:33:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:01Speaker 02

  Like, in Jurassic Park, it's like, that's not what they looked like. They might have had feathers, babe.

• 1:33:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, we don't know, they could have had feathers. It's really scary, but the idea that it...

• 1:33:11Speaker 02

  What's, oh...

• 1:33:11Speaker 03

  I'm gonna try not to cry, cuz the idea that it rained for a million years is so crazy. What do you mean by that? Rained lava. First of all, a million years happened. Right. Let's start there. Yeah. The documentary, first thing it does, puts up a, it puts up an earth clock, takes it back to 260 million years ago. That didn't happen, in my personal opinion. Do I mean that? No. Am I, I just can't process the idea that there's been 260 million years, what do you mean by that?

• 1:33:37Speaker 02

  What can't you process, that like, like where do you fit into that?

• 1:33:40Speaker 03

  Basically like the 1400s is where everything had to start for me.

• 1:33:43Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:33:44Speaker 03

  From, on Caleb's timeline, everything started in like the 1400s, they were speaking English. Which, can you imagine being alive at that time when you're always filthy, everyone's sick, and you're probably gonna die from like a sword? Right, but I understood some things, like I understand like the little hats they wore, understood maybe some things they were saying. I get the fashion. But I'm scared of everything that happened before that, and I'm scared of everything that will happen after this.

• 1:34:05Speaker 02

  Yes. I think, I think it's because there's no meteor portrayal of it.

• 1:34:10Speaker 03

  Of dinosaurs?

• 1:34:11Speaker 02

  Of, of the years that was raining. You, you should have on like, an, whatever extra screen you have lying around, just put on like...

• 1:34:19Speaker 02

  Misozoic era screensaver.

• 1:34:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:22Speaker 02

  And you should just see what like what the world might have looked like back then.

• 1:34:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:25Speaker 02

  Just just there.

• 1:34:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:26Speaker 01

  Ask, ask Google AI, what were the vibes during the million years of rain?

• 1:34:31Speaker 03

  Give me vibes, give me million years rain vibes.

• 1:34:34Speaker 02

  Cause you've seen the 1400s on TV and in movies.

• 1:34:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:37Speaker 02

  And you can, you can, you can, you can process that because you've pictured it.

• 1:34:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:39Speaker 02

  I think you have not pictured raining for a million years, which of course you have it because what, because there's, because.

• 1:34:44Speaker 03

  Do you, okay, so I guess the way you're talking right now, Bowen, it feels like, are you guys comfortable knowing that it rained for a million years?

• 1:34:51Speaker 02

  I can believe, I can believe that it happened. But the dinosaur documentary, it's just one, one movie, not, not a bunch of parts.

• 1:34:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like part, it's like a part, it's like episodic. It doesn't stress you guys out at all to like, think about like, okay.

• 1:35:04Speaker 01

  No, it stresses me out a lot.

• 1:35:05Speaker 03

  You guys have been friends for 17 years.

• 1:35:06Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:35:07Speaker 03

  Imagine that whole.

• 1:35:09Speaker 01

  It rained.

• 1:35:09Speaker 03

  It was raining, first of all.

• 1:35:11Speaker 01

  And would never stop.

• 1:35:12Speaker 03

  Would never stop during the whole time you've been friends, right? And then let's say that goes on for basically another million years.

• 1:35:18Speaker 01

  Another million years.

• 1:35:19Speaker 03

  Seventeen is such a small.

• 1:35:20Speaker 01

  At least though then you were, you are born into a world where it rains and you never know life where it doesn't. So actually you'd probably get pretty used to it.

• 1:35:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a really good point.

• 1:35:30Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:35:30Speaker 03

  I wasn't born in the rain, so I have trouble understanding it.

• 1:35:34Speaker 03

  Scary.

• 1:35:35Speaker 02

  I can only lock into stuff if I'm stoned now, if I'm watching.

• 1:35:38Speaker 01

  Oh, don't watch The Perfect Neighbor.

• 1:35:40Speaker 02

  Oh, that's tough.

• 1:35:41Speaker 03

  What's going on with Perfect Neighbor?

• 1:35:43Speaker 02

  Oh, it's also Netflix, shout out.

• 1:35:45Speaker 01

  Shout out. It's, it's, it was an Oscar nominated documentary that I put on the other day, which is, it's, it's entirely police body cam footage that they strung together to create a narrative. And it's, I, I can't even get into it.

• 1:35:58Speaker 03

  Fuck this.

• 1:35:58Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I've seen that. I didn't know what it was about and I, I, I put it on and I had been too stoned to watch that. And I, I, I wasn't, I had to lay down for like three hours afterwards. It was terrible.

• 1:36:08Speaker 03

  Horrifying.

• 1:36:08Speaker 01

  But what's better high on Netflix is Age of Attraction.

• 1:36:12Speaker 03

  Don't know it. I thought you were gonna say Age of Adeline. I thought you were gonna say Age of Adeline.

• 1:36:16Speaker 01

  Age of Adeline stoned is the best film ever.

• 1:36:18Speaker 03

  What's Age of Attraction?

• 1:36:19Speaker 01

  Age of Attraction is a Netflix, Netflix television series that is new. Basically it's about all these singles get in the house and no one can reveal their age.

• 1:36:29Speaker 02

  It's Love is Blind, but for age.

• 1:36:30Speaker 01

  The one question you can't ask is how old are you? Until you make a connection and then you go to the promise room and you put a promise ring on each other's finger.

• 1:36:37Speaker 02

  Once you're engaged to each other, then it's, it's like, it's basically Love is Blind. You find out the, yeah.

• 1:36:40Speaker 01

  At that point, you're gonna move in together and only then after you've made the commitment to move in together. Can you reveal your age? And it's like, you know, wouldn't you know it, like, like, people that you have would have never guessed were sixty are. Like, people that look thirty-five are really twenty-two. And then it's about like, okay, we've just realized this person that I've been getting to know for four or five days that I thought was maybe within a ten-year age range for me. We actually have like a thirty-three-year age difference.

• 1:37:08Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:37:08Speaker 01

  And what does, what does that knowledge do? And what is the dynamic? How does it change when we're living together with that knowledge? When I introduce you to family members that come in? And what's great about the show is it starts like Love Island, where they're coming into the villa and it's like they're blown out and their makeup is perfect. And it's like, they're perfectly like, you know, airbrushed and like the filter is on. And then once they start living together, it becomes like a real docu-series, where it's just like, I just don't understand, how can you be celibate? But last night, like, ride me and have an orgasm. Just be, I just don't understand, like, why we can't go there. And she's like, if you can't understand my celibacy, then what am I even doing here? He's like, you're not celibate.

• 1:37:51Speaker 03

  We fucked.

• 1:37:51Speaker 01

  We basically fucked. I just didn't put it in you. She's like, I can't believe you'd even say that on camera.

• 1:37:56Speaker 03

  She wrote him no penetration and came. Not that it's the details.

• 1:38:00Speaker 01

  No, but I am confused as well. No, but there was a moment, you have to watch it.

• 1:38:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:03Speaker 01

  Like, and it's just, it's crazy. It's like, it's, it's the way it devolves in from one type of reality show into another. I think it's kind of a flip on the form in a way that I was appreciating. Like, I, I was in because it was so silly and stupid. And then once that disappeared, I was just like, I couldn't believe how personal they were getting and what it was picking up. And I'm just like, wow, we're in it in a way that like, after the honeymoon phase of meeting someone, you're then in it.

• 1:38:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm celibate.

• 1:38:31Speaker 01

  But, but they like really, they, they went hard when it came to like, you know, mapping in terms of the way they were shooting it, on the way that the people were feeling at the time. Like, it was good.

• 1:38:45Speaker 01

  Get high and watch it as well.

• 1:38:46Speaker 03

  I might have to, I'm really, yeah. For nothing else, I'm wondering if maybe you would do me the favor of sending me the timestamps of the celibacy stuff?

• 1:38:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, but the thing is, it's so much better when you've seen what comes before it. Like, I can't even describe to you that, like, the way that they're filmed and like, it goes from full, oh, Love Island. You tried to watch it, right?

• 1:39:06Speaker 02

  I tried, but I've not gone to like the look and feel, Chef.

• 1:39:09Speaker 01

  You felt it had like a little bit of ick?

• 1:39:11Speaker 02

  I was just like, I, this is not like grabbed me yet because I think you need to wait for the actual reveals where you're like, oh, even I, as a viewer, thought this person was 40 years, you know, older or younger or whatever.

• 1:39:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:23Speaker 02

  Like, I, yeah, I guess I should give it a-

• 1:39:24Speaker 01

  The biggest age difference is 33 years and there's another one that's 27 years and like, you really can't, like, you're blown away when you find out that's what it is.

• 1:39:32Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't believe it. You mean it? You're really blown away?

• 1:39:36Speaker 01

  Twice I was blown away. Twice I was blown away. The rest I was like, okay, yeah, I knew that, I saw this coming.

• 1:39:41Speaker 03

  See, because I have the gay guy skill of like, you know how they can age trees with rings?

• 1:39:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:45Speaker 03

  I can do that with torsos now because of being on Grindr since I was 17 years old.

• 1:39:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:39:49Speaker 03

  Like, if I just see a torso, I'm like, 43. You know what I mean?

• 1:39:52Speaker 01

  Oh my god, that's ama- You know how you can tell.

• 1:39:53Speaker 02

  We need to get the list of, we need to give a list of gay powers.

• 1:39:57Speaker 01

  Oh, there's a list of gay powers. Have you heard of this?

• 1:39:59Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:40:00Speaker 02

  So it's like, it's like, any gay, gay man has like six of these, like, 80 gay powers.

• 1:40:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. Maybe I have the list of gay powers.

• 1:40:09Speaker 02

  Math, map reading, telling, aging men based on their torsos, like, you know-

• 1:40:14Speaker 03

  Torsos aging needs to be in there.

• 1:40:15Speaker 01

  So I don't have the list of gay powers, but the gay thing I do have is my Ariana Grande tour setlist that I made when I was high on the plane. And I said this to Mo and I said, "Ariana setlist, my version, spelled with a B." So it says, "My version with a heart."

• 1:40:32Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 1:40:33Speaker 01

  And I think it's perfect.

• 1:40:35Speaker 03

  I really believe you.

• 1:40:36Speaker 02

  His encores were insane. Didn't make any sense.

• 1:40:38Speaker 01

  This is, this is my Ariana Grande concert. Intro, end of the world, short version, into yes and, into be alright, into true story, into supernatural, then she takes a break because she deserves it. Then, we go back into the past, breathe in, one last time, Ari, think about it, Dangerous Woman, take a little bit of a break, yes, it's time to honor, Positions.

• 1:40:56Speaker 03

  You're building a break for her.

• 1:40:58Speaker 01

  Positions, 34, 35, and POV, after POV, I'm sure we have like a beautiful like montage and like a, like an Eternal Sunshine montage, into the song Eternal Sunshine, Twilight Sign, Twilight Zone, No Tears Left To Cry, Break, This Is Lumber Being A Slut, Into You, Break Up With Your Girlfriend, The Boy Is Mine, Seven Rings, We Need A Break, It's Wicked Time, Popular, into every different show, there's a different musical theater cover, into, think about it, Ariana, The Way, Break, God Is A Woman, Break Free, Thank You Next, Down, Encore Is, Imperfect For You, and We Can't Be Friends.

• 1:41:31Speaker 02

  We Can't Be Friends is the encore, works, Imperfect For You doesn't make sense.

• 1:41:34Speaker 03

  I think it does.

• 1:41:35Speaker 01

  We Can't Be Friends is awesome.

• 1:41:35Speaker 02

  Of course, I love musical, different musical theaters, uh, song every.

• 1:41:39Speaker 01

  I think, I think we'll see something like that.

• 1:41:41Speaker 02

  Could be fun.

• 1:41:42Speaker 03

  We'll see something like that.

• 1:41:44Speaker 02

  Drone on a plane.

• 1:41:45Speaker 01

  So high on the plane.

• 1:41:46Speaker 03

  Completely addicted.

• 1:41:47Speaker 01

  This, I could have done real work, this is what I did.

• 1:41:49Speaker 03

  Your, your team pinging you left and right, need to hear back XYZ, need to hear.

• 1:41:53Speaker 01

  Can you check your DocuSign?

• 1:41:55Speaker 03

  Please, DocuSign.

• 1:41:56Speaker 01

  I'm busy with my version.

• 1:41:57Speaker 03

  Please, do, do Dot Lu, please, sign, sign, sign.

• 1:42:04Speaker 02

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• 1:43:01Speaker 02

  Time for some prep wisdom.

• 1:43:02Speaker 01

  But first, some common sense, people. Everyone is different. Every one. Yes, even you. Yes, even your situationship.

• 1:43:09Speaker 02

  Especially your situationship. And just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same.

• 1:43:15Speaker 01

  That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

• 1:43:19Speaker 02

  Did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters. Your routine, your chaos level, your "I might forget my own birthday" energy. All of it counts.

• 1:43:32Speaker 01

  Basically, talk to your doctor. Have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed, encouraged even. Okay, did you write all that down?

• 1:43:41Speaker 02

  No?

• 1:43:42Speaker 01

  Don't worry.

• 1:43:42Speaker 02

  Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com.

• 1:43:48Speaker 01

  Okay, we've been talking about QP mayo for a minute now, Bo. And wow, the feedback we're getting. I mean, so many of y'all love this stuff.

• 1:43:56Speaker 02

  You're stopping us in the street going, "I love QP." And if you're thinking, "Wait, what is QP? Uh, do you not have the internet?" It's the OG Japanese mayonnaise. The one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle.

• 1:44:10Speaker 01

  Once you know it, you start seeing it everywhere. People ask what makes it different from basic mayo. Well, the answer? Egg yolks.

• 1:44:16Speaker 02

  QP is made with egg yolks only, giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything. Burgers, fries, sandwiches, chicken, noodles.

• 1:44:27Speaker 01

  Chefs use it, restaurants use it, people who really love food and flavor use it.

• 1:44:32Speaker 02

  Whatever you're eating, QP it. So if you haven't tried QP yet, find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. You'll understand. QP, the original Japanese mayonnaise. You know, we've been talking about refreshing our living rooms recently, so we went to wayfair.com.

• 1:44:50Speaker 01

  Top of mind stuff. I got an Elroy Modern Abstract Machine Washable Area Rug with non-slip rubber backing. What about you, Bo?

• 1:44:57Speaker 02

  No way. I got a Hertford wide- Mid-century upholstered solid wood accent chair with an extra pillow.

• 1:45:03Speaker 01

  I was hoping you'd get the Hertford wide mid-century upholstered solid wood accent chair with an extra pillow. Good on you, babe. Now our living rooms feel like completely different spaces.

• 1:45:12Speaker 02

  Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. Products are hand-vetted by product specialists using a 10-point quality inspection.

• 1:45:23Speaker 01

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• 1:45:30Speaker 02

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• 1:45:37Speaker 01

  What I really liked about the Elroy Modern Abstract Machine Washable Area Rug with non-slip rubber backing is it lightens up the room and is easy to clean.

• 1:45:44Speaker 02

  And the Hertford wide mid-century upholstered solid wood accent chair with an extra pillow is comfortable, stylish, and easy to assemble.

• 1:45:50Speaker 01

  Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com.

• 1:46:07Speaker 01

  Um, it may be time. It's time. Okay, it's time for I Don't Think So Honey. This is that segment we do. Oh my gosh, okay, yes. It's time. And so this is, we put one minute on the clock and we, we sort of shred. You know what I mean? This, this mic has been drooping the whole time. I, I don't, I think it's not worth it to fix it now. That's okay. But I do just want to say, I think it's probably okay, right? I sound okay? All right, that's a little BTS for y'all at home. Um. You have something? Yes, I do. I do have something. Okay. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so many times starts now. I don't think so, honey, you asking me if I talked about you in therapy. Oh. This is none of your business. I don't, and the thing is like, be prepared for the answer. You know what I mean? Cause you might ask, did I come up in therapy? And I might be like, yeah.

• 1:46:52Speaker 01

  And then you might be like, oh, and then either you're gonna ask me what happened. I probably won't say, but you're gonna intuit that it probably wasn't great. Right. Or that you were a long discussion, or you're gonna be like, oh, cool. And then you're gonna spin out for hours about how you came up in therapy. And I don't think so, honey, that I'm gonna. Tell you, so you're gonna be alone with that spinning. Also, like, true narcissism reveal to ask, did I come up in therapy? Even as a joke, my therapy is my therapy. Your therapy should be your therapy. I'll never ask if I came up in your therapy. But, like, and I just feel like, at this point, it's like, what happens between me and Stacy is between me and Stacy, and you have to respect that relationship. And it's one that I've built over time. We have our thing, you stay at home.

• 1:47:37Speaker 01

  If you're asking, you probably are in my therapy.

• 1:47:39Speaker 02

  And that's one minute.

• 1:47:39Speaker 01

  Wow, yeah.

• 1:47:40Speaker 03

  Beautiful, I liked that.

• 1:47:41Speaker 01

  Thank you, I just, it's, it's happened a couple of times, and I'm like, do you want the answer?

• 1:47:46Speaker 03

  I don't think they do.

• 1:47:47Speaker 02

  I don't think they do.

• 1:47:47Speaker 03

  I don't think they do.

• 1:47:48Speaker 02

  A guy?

• 1:47:49Speaker 01

  It, it, it, it has been, uh, three people have brought this up to me. Have I come up in therapy?

• 1:47:54Speaker 02

  I haven't asked you that question.

• 1:47:57Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:47:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:47:58Speaker 01

  I don't think you've asked me, did, you wouldn't ask me-

• 1:48:00Speaker 02

  Did I come up in therapy? Because it's like-

• 1:48:03Speaker 01

  You do come up once a session.

• 1:48:04Speaker 02

  Sure, sure, sure. It's, but it's like, it's the equivalent of lurking on like, a message board, or like, searching your own name.

• 1:48:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, you don't wanna know.

• 1:48:12Speaker 02

  Don't, I actually don't wanna know.

• 1:48:13Speaker 03

  It's better for you to not ask, and it's better for me to not tell. Just stay out of it.

• 1:48:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, it's, it's, it's my business, my version.

• 1:48:20Speaker 02

  My version.

• 1:48:21Speaker 01

  Um, but, by the way, when I say you come up in therapy, it's just because you're so a constant in my life, so you're always, you're always there.

• 1:48:27Speaker 02

  And can you, can you see that I did not inquire further?

• 1:48:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:48:29Speaker 02

  I just-

• 1:48:30Speaker 01

  And those are boundaries.

• 1:48:31Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:48:31Speaker 01

  My version, my bestie, my boundaries.

• 1:48:34Speaker 03

  Boundaries, my version.

• 1:48:36Speaker 01

  Boundaries, my version. Taylor's version.

• 1:48:39Speaker 02

  Taylor's version.

• 1:48:41Speaker 01

  Anyways, okay, are you ready?

• 1:48:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:48:44Speaker 02

  It's actually, it's actually pertinent to this thing we were discussing earlier.

• 1:48:46Speaker 01

  This is Bo and Yang's, I Don't Think So Honey, his time starts now.

• 1:48:49Speaker 02

  I don't think so honey. Q-tips aren't supposed to go in your ears. They keep telling us this, and yet, no amount of PR, of messaging, of whatever. It's too late.

• 1:49:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're in there.

• 1:49:03Speaker 02

  The, the, you can't, the, the bell has been rung, we cannot unring the bell. You're never going to win, big cotton, I'm so sorry. It's okay, this is, this is what happens when it's- It's, it's done. I don't know who released Pandora from the box, but this is all we're gonna do with Q-Tips. We're not gonna clean our keyboards with this. We're not gonna make crafts with this. We are going to stick this in our ear, whether it's good for us or not. And honey, it's the only thing that's digging these little, is hitting these veins to get that ore out of my canals. Q-Tips, there's no point. There's, it's fruitless, it's futile. Let us do it. Stop it with this, because then you're gonna get me angry, because I don't like being told what I'm not supposed to do.

• 1:49:47Speaker 02

  Because guess what? I'm gonna be doing it.

• 1:49:49Speaker 01

  And that's one minute. Bowen hates being told what to and not to stick in any of his holes. Don't tell me what goes where.

• 1:49:56Speaker 03

  I'll put shit where I need to put shit.

• 1:49:57Speaker 02

  Exactly. And the thing is, like, you're right, it is the only way to really...

• 1:50:02Speaker 01

  Get in there.

• 1:50:03Speaker 02

  Get in there and get it out of there.

• 1:50:04Speaker 01

  I'll do a pencil every now and then.

• 1:50:05Speaker 03

  Oh goodness.

• 1:50:06Speaker 02

  A pencil!

• 1:50:07Speaker 03

  Bowen.

• 1:50:07Speaker 02

  A pencil.

• 1:50:08Speaker 03

  Like the eraser side, of course. Pardon?

• 1:50:12Speaker 02

  I need a fine point.

• 1:50:14Speaker 03

  Bowen!

• 1:50:15Speaker 01

  You're, you're, you are doing a Scantron in your ears.

• 1:50:18Speaker 03

  Bowen, that's really bad. I want you to go back to Q... Now, I'm definitely like, if you didn't like his, I don't think so, honey. Now have the context that without the Q-tip, it's a pencil.

• 1:50:25Speaker 02

  It's a pencil.

• 1:50:26Speaker 03

  Sharp side in.

• 1:50:26Speaker 02

  There's lead, there's lead in.

• 1:50:28Speaker 03

  Bowen, that's so scary.

• 1:50:29Speaker 01

  It's also crazy, as a noted fan of the television series Girls, that you would shove anything in there that could perforate an eardrum.

• 1:50:35Speaker 03

  Nothing smaller than an elbow!

• 1:50:37Speaker 01

  Nothing's...

• 1:50:38Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:50:38Speaker 03

  That's what she says. That's what her mom says in Girls.

• 1:50:40Speaker 01

  Nothing smaller than an elbow!

• 1:50:41Speaker 03

  Nothing smaller than an elbow in there! Becky Ann Baker, hello!

• 1:50:44Speaker 01

  Becky Ann Baker, a great star.

• 1:50:47Speaker 03

  Love her.

• 1:50:47Speaker 01

  Wonderful star. A great star.

• 1:50:49Speaker 02

  Um, okay, well, that was me.

• 1:50:51Speaker 03

  Okay, my turn.

• 1:50:52Speaker 01

  Are you ready?

• 1:50:52Speaker 03

  Okay, I think so. Okay.

• 1:50:53Speaker 02

  Okay, well, this is the moment people have been waiting for. This is Caleb Hearon. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now.

• 1:50:59Speaker 03

  I don't think so, honey. Innovation where innovation is not needed.

• 1:51:01Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:51:02Speaker 03

  Enough. We have done too much. There are so many things that we already know about. I'm gonna start off by saying car door handles.

• 1:51:08Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:51:08Speaker 03

  We figured that out in the 1960s.

• 1:51:11Speaker 02

  Oh my god, thank you.

• 1:51:11Speaker 03

  In the 1960s. It is a little thing that you pull that opens the goddamn door.

• 1:51:16Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:51:16Speaker 03

  I've had it. Why is it a button now? Why is the button hidden? I have to rub my hand around the entire frame of the door to find the button.

• 1:51:22Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:51:22Speaker 03

  So I have to knock on the door three times and answer a troll's riddle. To get out of the fucking vehicle.

• 1:51:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:51:27Speaker 03

  No more new car handles.

• 1:51:29Speaker 01

  Thirty seconds.

• 1:51:30Speaker 03

  What else? Diet Coke. It was working. When I asked the restaurant if they have a Diet Coke and they say, we actually have a house made artisanal Italian. We all have something else and it's a fucking problem. I want Diet Coke at the restaurant. We are innovating things at the BlackBerry should have been where we stopped with phones. Why are we on iPhone seventeen? The BlackBerry was a perfect phone and we ruined it. Planes are getting smaller. Why? You guys already figured out how to make maximum money for us and make us more uncomfortable.

• 1:51:53Speaker 01

  Five seconds.

• 1:51:54Speaker 03

  The overhead bin should get bigger, the seat should get bigger, bigger. Stop innovating things that do not need to be innovated. Thank you.

• 1:51:58Speaker 01

  And that's one minute. And it is at this point that I will say first, this is a, this, we needed to talk about this. And I want to talk about hotel lights.

• 1:52:09Speaker 03

  Hello. Oh my God.

• 1:52:12Speaker 01

  It's not the first time it's come up.

• 1:52:13Speaker 03

  You need to put your key in there for it to work.

• 1:52:15Speaker 01

  Oh, forget it.

• 1:52:16Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm so sick of it. Hotel lights. What was the other one I was thinking of?

• 1:52:19Speaker 01

  Toilets everywhere.

• 1:52:20Speaker 03

  Toilets? What's going on with toilets? They won't stop innovating.

• 1:52:22Speaker 01

  Because you want to know what? Everywhere does self flush now and they, they're like, oh, we'll just hit the button. The buttons are getting smaller and they're hiding them at different points on the toilet.

• 1:52:31Speaker 03

  Yes. They're, they're guys, they're putting out new toothbrushes every day. We've certainly figured it out.

• 1:52:37Speaker 01

  Figured it out.

• 1:52:38Speaker 03

  Figured it out. There are things that we just figured out. No new car. The, now if you want to put the car in drive, you don't pull, you just turn like a, an LED knob.

• 1:52:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:52:47Speaker 03

  Stop.

• 1:52:47Speaker 01

  They're even coming for our shit with the glasses.

• 1:52:50Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 1:52:50Speaker 01

  Don't innovate on the glasses.

• 1:52:52Speaker 03

  What's happening with that?

• 1:52:53Speaker 01

  The fucking Ray-Ban Meadows.

• 1:52:55Speaker 03

  Yes, they're doing crazy.

• 1:52:56Speaker 01

  Nobody ever wear that in front of me.

• 1:52:59Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:52:59Speaker 01

  Ever.

• 1:53:00Speaker 03

  Ever. Ever. Using AI to like respond to emails.

• 1:53:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, forget it.

• 1:53:04Speaker 03

  You.

• 1:53:04Speaker 01

  Go clickety-clack.

• 1:53:06Speaker 03

  Eighty-five thousand dollars a year to respond to emails. The least you can do is fucking hit the keys, bitch. I have had it with the innovations. Knock it off.

• 1:53:13Speaker 01

  Knock it off.

• 1:53:14Speaker 03

  No offense to anyone who's using. I just don't like it.

• 1:53:16Speaker 01

  To any, anyone who's an innovator. Anyone who identifies as an innovator, no offense to you.

• 1:53:21Speaker 03

  But just direct it at the right thing. Ten year gap, ten year gap on innovations. That's what I'm asking for.

• 1:53:25Speaker 01

  I truly agree. And there, there was another, there was another one. Um, oh, with, with email. I hate seeing at the bottom of Gmail, the suggested responses.

• 1:53:37Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:53:38Speaker 02

  Never makes any fun of sense.

• 1:53:40Speaker 01

  No, I'm telling you, sometimes it'll be like, well, that's a perfect response. And that's a perfectly lovely response, or a good response to this email. And then I actually think about clicking it. I'm like, no.

• 1:53:49Speaker 03

  Can I tell you?

• 1:53:50Speaker 01

  Based on principle, I'm not using your answer.

• 1:53:52Speaker 03

  I auto-populated one on accident recently, because you know how Gmail now would just like, if you accidentally hit Tab, it'll like type it out for you.

• 1:53:57Speaker 02

  Devil.

• 1:53:57Speaker 03

  It typed out scarily exactly what I would have said, like lowercase, like, hey y'all, dashed out, like, it is my exact email voice. It typed it out for me, word for word, what I needed to respond. I deleted it and retyped it.

• 1:54:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean.

• 1:54:12Speaker 03

  I'm not doing it.

• 1:54:13Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:54:13Speaker 03

  I'm not doing it. It's scary to me.

• 1:54:14Speaker 02

  That's your version of marching into the Oklahoma City Hall.

• 1:54:17Speaker 03

  Yes, it knows me.

• 1:54:18Speaker 02

  I will say, Caleb, you have gorgeous Asian eyes.

• 1:54:21Speaker 03

  You know what, Bowen? Thank you for saying that. That is so beautiful and special.

• 1:54:25Speaker 02

  You have a gorgeous lash length on a beautiful brown almond-adjacent eye.

• 1:54:31Speaker 03

  People often think that I am not white. And I'm not gonna lie to you about that. Sometimes people think I'm Pacific Islander. Sometimes they think I'm Hispanic.

• 1:54:37Speaker 02

  Why would you lie about that?

• 1:54:38Speaker 03

  I would never lie about that. And that's what I'm telling you. Sometimes, you guys, people think I'm not white, and every time I receive it, it's a beautiful compliment. And really don't know what to say after I say, unfortunately, I'm just white. Of course, I think being white is an embarrassment. It's one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. And also, we can't deny there are privileges.

• 1:54:53Speaker 02

  No, that's all you have to say.

• 1:54:54Speaker 03

  Do you guys want to unpack white privilege?

• 1:54:57Speaker 01

  I was thinking today was the day.

• 1:54:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:55:00Speaker 02

  It's time we did that. Anyway, that's for next time Caleb comes on.

• 1:55:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, you will return. And also, we should do dinner.

• 1:55:06Speaker 02

  Let's do dinner.

• 1:55:07Speaker 03

  Let's do dinner.

• 1:55:07Speaker 02

  I actually don't know why I thought you were an LA person.

• 1:55:10Speaker 03

  Well, I used to be.

• 1:55:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, you were.

• 1:55:12Speaker 03

  And then I used to be, but now I am a New York person.

• 1:55:14Speaker 02

  Okay, well.

• 1:55:15Speaker 03

  And we can eat dinner whenever we'd like.

• 1:55:16Speaker 01

  There we go.

• 1:55:17Speaker 02

  We're going to the fly.

• 1:55:17Speaker 01

  Look out, restaurants. A real jerk is coming through.

• 1:55:20Speaker 03

  Three, three real jerks are coming in.

• 1:55:23Speaker 01

  But just, oh my god, we leave and we get a terrible reputation. We were only lovely.

• 1:55:26Speaker 03

  Oh, that'd be fun, though.

• 1:55:27Speaker 01

  Oh, it'd be kind of fun, because at least we would know the truth.

• 1:55:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:55:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:31Speaker 03

  That's how I always feel.

• 1:55:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. I know the truth.

• 1:55:34Speaker 03

  When I hear rumors about us, and I always am, I go, I know the truth about the three of us.

• 1:55:38Speaker 01

  The truth of this episode was that it was a blast, and you gotta listen to So True. You gotta watch the special. You gotta watch Devil Wears Prada 2.

• 1:55:47Speaker 03

  You do.

• 1:55:48Speaker 02

  DWP.

• 1:55:49Speaker 01

  To be promoting Devil Wears Prada 2, just congrats.

• 1:55:52Speaker 03

  Also funny for me to be promoting, it's like, I think they've got it covered.

• 1:55:57Speaker 04

  I don't know. I look at that cast list and I'm like, yeah, sure, Lady Gaga. Yeah, sure, Rachel Blum, Caleb Hearon.

• 1:56:04Speaker 01

  Hey, we do know who we wanted on the show. Thank you guys for having me.

• 1:56:08Speaker 04

  Um, we love you.

• 1:56:09Speaker 01

  Uh, we end every episode with a, with a song.

• 1:56:12Speaker 04

  Wide open spaces. Room to make a big mistake. She needs new faces. She knows the high stakes. Know the high stakes. The high stakes.

• 1:56:31Speaker 01

  For more of that, listen to the album and song, Wide Open Spaces by the Chicks. Bye.

• 1:56:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:56:38Speaker 02

  Lost Culture Racist is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.

• 1:56:42Speaker 01

  Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hosni and produced by Becca Ramos.

• 1:56:49Speaker 02

  Edited and mixed by Doug Bame.

• 1:56:50Speaker 01

  And our music is by Henry Kamersky.

• 1:56:55Speaker 04

  This is Jonas Knox from Two Pros and a Cup of Joe. Buy smart, drive for less and trade for more. That's Toyota Ford Ability and it starts with a great deal on an off-road ready Tacoma or half-ton Tundra, two of Toyota's longest lasting trucks. Combining power for work, tech for adventures and style in between. Built on a reputation for quality and reliability, Toyota trucks are known for holding their value, which could mean big savings when it's time for your next Toyota. So get a great deal today and a great value tomorrow. Shop toyota.com for more. Toyota, let's go places.

• 1:57:32Speaker 05

  She's been thinking about this sleepover all week, but I think about her food allergies all the time. Fortunately, her doctor prescribed Zolair, omalizumab. It's proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens.

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• 1:59:02Speaker 08

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