E173 - Birthday Q&A: What I’m Unlearning About Spirituality and Who I’m Becoming

In this solo Q&A episode, I’m answering the questions so many of you have asked me over the past few days—about ego, identity, relationships, breakups, shadow work, discipline, grounding, and what the spiritual path actually looks like in real life. I share honestly about the subtle ego patterns I still face, how I navigate heartbreak with grace, what it means to “perform” spirituality versus actually live it, and the practices that keep me connected when I fall off center. I also speak about dating, celibacy, intimacy, and how I think about love at this stage of my life. Get 15% off Magnesium Breakthrough from BiOptimizers https://www.bioptimizers.com/knowthyself Use code KNOWTHYSELF for 15% off! Andrés Book Recs: https://www.knowthyselfpodcast.com/book-list ___________ 00:25 How do you feel about people using spirituality as an identity? 04:34 What is a subtle form of ego that you still catch yourself falling into? 06:22 Relationships ending 08:30 I would like to hear about your struggles 10:19 How do you stay & grow in a relationship when your partner doesn’t meet you in that growth? 13:50 What are your top spiritual books? 14:39 What’s the simplistic way you ground yourself when you feel an imbalance? 15:50 Who is André underneath all the labels? 17:35 Do you ever fall off your practices with meditation or music? 19:26 Are you single? 22:23 - Ad - BiOptimizers 23:47 What do you use to know yourself deeply? 25:27 What makes you most optimistic about the future of humanity? 27:38 Which meditations do you practice? 28:37 How did you believe so much in yourself to create something at this scale? 30:31 What’s your vision for KT for the coming year? 32:57 When did you start playing piano? 33:40 What practices keep spiritual insight grounded and accountable? 34:36 What illusion do you see most are still caught in without realizing it? 37:55 What was your earliest experience that awakened you to God within? 40:35 How do you know it’s your calling when it comes? 44:25 Do you think the more one knows themselves, the harder it is to fall in love? 48:03 Do you believe in free will? 51:26 How are you approaching dating and relationships? 52:54 What is the most overlooked doorway in consciousness? 53:54 What’s the deepest question you can ever imagine asking yourself? 55:21 What you feel is most important for calling in sacred union, your person? 57:06 What are some of the biggest patterns you’ve unraveled in yourself? 59:22 How were you raised spiritually/religiously? 1:00:55 What kind of diet do you follow & why? 1:02:04 What was the book that launched you into seeking? 1:03:20 What’s the deepest truth you’ve met this year? 1:03:58 Do you as André think that God is consciousness? 1:05:49 Do you still go through episodes of depression? ___________ Episode Resources: https://www.substack.com/@andreduqum https://www.instagram.com/andreduqum/ https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/ https://www.youtube.com/@knowthyselfpodcast https://www.knowthyselfpodcast.com

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00André Duqum?

  What's up everyone? It's my birthday. I thought I would do a little solo episode answering some questions that you guys submitted. And yeah, I feel like I haven't done enough of these one-on-one solo Q and A episodes where I just kind of go through a bunch of different topics. And so that's what I wanted to do, just to reflect a bit on this last year. And yeah, stay connected to you guys. Let's start running through these. All right. Beth Sheba asks, "How do you feel about people using spirituality as an identity instead of embodiment? Do you have friends that use spirituality as an identity? Do you tell them or just let them be?"

• 0:39André Duqum?

  Yeah, I have become increasingly aware of both where that exists within myself and as an extension of where that shows up in other people, how it gets rewarded, and how the spiritual ego, if you will, is just another form of ego. One might say it could be perceived as the most special form of ego. It is the most holy. It is the one that is most alluring and attractive. Out of all the games one could play, spirituality could be seen as the one that is the greatest of games to be best at. And so I would say the more interesting question for me personally is,

• 1:20André Duqum?

  where can I examine myself still performing in any arena of life? Instead of showing up with presence, where do I still want to be perceived in a certain light? And there are still aspects of self that are yet to be integrated, I think. And I think the more that you grow in awareness, the more that I've grown in awareness, the more that the refinement gets more subtle, but it's still an interesting inquiry in my own personal life. And the more that I have seen it, both in myself and in others, it's definitely been something that's impacting, I think, one, where I want to take this show.

• 2:02André Duqum?

  I want to continue bringing in diverse conversations and people from all walks of life. And I resonate towards people who are both intelligent and carry a sense of humility within them. And so I don't think this, the awakening from awakening, I don't think is talked about enough. And what I mean from that is like, we have insights in our life. We have a spiritual experience. We have-

• 2:26André Duqum?

  An enlightening moment, and we can quickly identify with that as the new way of operating of something that is idealized. And there is this return back to putting your head where your feet are, so to speak. And that is the lived spirituality where it becomes embodied and it's not a philosophy anymore. It's not what the words are being said or the outfit that's being worn. It's the level of kindness that we afford to people in our life. And so when I say awakening from awakening, I guess I'm really referring to the deepening of not just trying to continue to transcend and grow in awareness, but to bring that

• 3:09André Duqum?

  awareness into your lived daily experience where meditation isn't something you do on the mat once a day. It's an opportunity you can meet every single moment. And I've also come to see that it's sort of like a natural point at one's journey is that you start to grow in our egos and identities start to wrap itself around new insight, new awareness. And I think it's just part of the journey, you know? And I think it's all welcome on the path. And I don't see that as much in my friends. I think it's just by discernment and who I allow kind of closer into my, into my life.

• 3:49André Duqum?

  But it is something that I think gets to be spoken more into as these kinds of communities grow. And it's, it's something that you don't see when you're looking through it. Like the nature of ego is that you're looking through it as it. And so by, by default, you don't realize to the way in which you're tinting the experience of your life, the way the color tinted glasses are affecting the way that you're seeing things. And that's why reflections and having friends that can, you know, be a mirror for you, I think is so pivotal. That's why community is so important because we actually get to learn a lot about ourselves through how we're mirrored in our environment and through our relationships.

• 4:34André Duqum?

  Number two, Yannick Nard-Narb. What is a subtle form of ego that you still catch yourself falling into? You could say it kind of goes into the last question, you know, a bit of wherever I show up in performance instead of presence, where I will maybe ever so slightly alter behavior to be perceived in a certain way. And I think that just is fundamentally rooted in ego and insecurity. And I think, you know, this is probably something most people in their late twenties, I'm turning 29 the day this episode gets released, that you just get more and more comfortable in your skin. It's just kind of like a natural thing.

• 5:18André Duqum?

  You get more comfortable with all of your idiosyncrasies, all of your nicks and knacks and the things that make you you, for better or for worse. And just learning to love all those parts of me, I think, is a, it's been a more freeing way to live. And I definitely think I still have progress to make in regards of accepting parts of my own messy humanity or whatever. But I would say that that's a recurring theme is that allowing and expressing vulnerable things, like things that actually feel vulnerable in my, in my experience, is, is a growth edge for me. And the part of my ego that I catch myself slipping into is the protector of that because

• 6:02André Duqum?

  of control, because of fear, because of what people might think of me. Like there's still, you know, to varying degrees, I think that shows up. And even the language, to varying degrees, is a way to soften the landing of the reality that there's just more to love and to accept in my human experience. So that's been showing up for sure. Awakening Radiance. Number three, relationships ending and how to transition as gracefully as possible. I think what's helped me in as gracefully as possible, letting relationships transition is, one, realizing like the impermanent nature of all relationships, whether it's for a day, whether it's for a lifetime, there's going to be a moment we'll need to let go of our attachments, right?

• 6:47André Duqum?

  I think that.

• 6:50André Duqum?

  Human connection is so much of what brings all of us a sense of meaning in life. And even when past partners or friendships that I was really close with or dated for a while and, you know, lived together, when that transitions into not talking for a bit, or, you know, taking space, I just try to bring to the best of my ability

• 7:23André Duqum?

  the gratitude for the experience that that relationship brought into my life. Instead of making it, instead of having it make me bitter, it can make you sweet. And instead of reminiscing about all the things and feeling a sense of lack of why it's not here, cherishing that it existed in your life in the first place and the context that it did and what it brought and the gifts and the insight and what it revealed in you. And that, uh, that isn't always easy to put in practice in the moment, but I think it's very rewarding. So, you know, I could go into a whole podcast on that. But it's a, it's a very great feeling to look back on how you've showed up in relationships,

• 8:04André Duqum?

  despite feeling hurt, heartbroken, triggered, and to still choose love. And I think we all got to honor our boundaries to the degree we, we need to for space and for what does and doesn't work for you. But I just reflect on like, what am I really devoted to? And can I let love win in every encounter as much as I can? And that's a freeing place to live. So. Pentik Bori, I would like to hear about your struggles. It would be empowering because I see everyone raising their vibration. And to me, it looks like we all hide our shadow. But why? Yeah. Isn't that the whole game here is that?

• 8:49André Duqum?

  We are revealing the unconscious, the shadow material, the stuff that's outside of our awareness into awareness so that we can become whole, integrated, individuated individuals and then realize we're a part of a larger interconnected web. And like I spoke to earlier with the spiritual ego, raising your vibration is a very exciting concept and framework to live by. Just this notion that you can improve your reality by focusing on your thoughts and behaviors and how that contributes to what you directly manifest in your relationships and your work life and all of it. So I get

• 9:32André Duqum?

  that. And I think we all, to varying degrees, have a bit of a resistance to the aspects of self that aren't as pretty. And that's normal. I think that the more that we can have conversations, like I try to more and more increasingly on this podcast, that can speak directly to the taboo, to the uncomfortable, to the parts that we don't like to look at. It can have a seat at the dinner table and the parts of us that feel guilt, shame, fear, anger, aren't a rejected aspect of shelf that is bad and a shadow, but is just a part, an essential part of being human. And I think in that context, it doesn't have

• 10:17André Duqum?

  to be one or the other. It's all.

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• 10:49André Duqum?

  Welcome. So Adam Carberry, how do you stay and grow in a relationship when your partner doesn't meet you in that growth?

• 10:59André Duqum?

  Man, it's tricky. I think that the nature of every relationship is that we're all moving at our own pace, working through and growing through our own stuff. And to me, one of the highest values in partnership is like having that devotion to self-realization. I think when two people put God first, or whatever word you want to use that in a relationship, then whenever there are struggles or somebody's moving ahead in one domain more than the other person, it allows each other to work as a team to help whoever's struggling in an area. And it doesn't become me versus one person, or me progressing in a higher

• 11:40André Duqum?

  place and, you know, leaving somebody else behind. That willingness needs to be there from, from both people. And I think that there is a cacophony of different reasons why that might not be there for people. From the physiological lens of somebody dealing with toxic mold, you know, and how that affects your energy levels and your desire or willpower to focus on anything growth related, you know, to, to obviously all of our childhood upbringing, our relational dynamic, our attachment styles, an infinite way in which, you know, that changes how we relate to this. And, and so, you know, I think that there, for me, needs to be, if I'm going to personally commit to being

• 12:25André Duqum?

  in partnership with someone, going into that with, with that understanding is really important. And then grace comes into the picture where you're moving like you likely will at two different paces and, and different areas of life. You know, maybe somebody's really hitting a good stride with their health and their fitness and another person's really struggling and you get to help carry some of that, you know? I think that's the beauty of partnership is that you get to do it together. And there will be other times where somebody is struggling more with their mental health. And it can be tricky to navigate, I think, because It's so easy to fall into this romanticizing of people's potential. But the reality is people have the patterns they do.

• 13:10André Duqum?

  And of course, people can change. Neuroplasticity is a real thing. I think there always gets to be an honest conversation of like, what do people fundamentally want? Like, if you don't go into a relationship or at a certain point in a relationship when you're dating someone, to ask what each other's fundamental values are and what they want of their life. I think more conversations like that earlier on would save a lot of heartbreak down the road. And so I do look at that balance of pattern versus potential. Like, what are the patterns somebody is living out? That's tied directly to their value system versus the potential of what you know somebody

• 13:52André Duqum?

  can grow into that they're actually not feeling called to realize at this moment. And so, yeah, I think for me, the more I've dated and the more that I met, you know, women that embody different characteristics and values, the more I've learned what I love in partnership and what would be essential for me to have as a partner. And so, yeah, I think it can be tricky to navigate, but communication helps a ton. Alina, what are your top spiritual books? For those who don't know, I have a free book list. It's like my top 50 books that have impacted me the most. I'll leave a link in description for whoever doesn't have that.

• 14:37André Duqum?

  I'm gonna update it soon, probably do like 75 or 100 books and just kind of expand it and refine it a bit. But one book that's not in there that I really like, that I finished recently, was The Eternities, Vedanta Treaties by Partha Sarathy. I'll put an image of it on screen. It's very direct. I love direct pointings when it comes to nonduality and more spiritual leaning books. Another version, another book that I really love, I Am That by Sri Nasir Gata Maharaj. That's in the book list. Adriana Talata, "What's the simplistic way you ground yourself when you feel an imbalance?"

• 15:18André Duqum?

  An immediate practice that we could all do in this moment right now is just notice where the tension is in our body. And then just kind of breathe into it. That feels very immediate to me. We tend to hold a lot of tension in our eyebrows, like relaxing the tension behind the eyebrows. Something that I do is you can like focus on the peripheral of your vision.

• 15:41André Duqum?

  So if you just kind of focus on like these areas right here,

• 15:46André Duqum?

  kind of like diffuse your attention. We're a very phone visual, we're a very visual, phone-heavy society. And that requires a lot of like squinting, looking into and tightening around here. So doing that, I think, helps a lot. And then

• 16:04André Duqum?

  usually if I'm ever just feeling like a bit dysregulated, like three deep breath holds can change your life. So I'll just like inhale to the fullness of my lung capacity and hold there for a bit and then slow exhales. And after a few rounds of that, I'm pretty gucci.

• 16:21André Duqum?

  Yannick Nadnarb, "If you peeled away every label, creator, host, seeker, who is Andre underneath all of that?" The awareness that I am is the awareness that we all hold and that is a boundless, spacious, birthless, deathless, timeless, endless place we can all experience in this present moment by simply observing that which is observing.

• 16:54André Duqum?

  And

• 16:57André Duqum?

  we play many roles in our life and I do with this podcast and my friend groups and my different relationships. As a business leader and CEO. And those are all really fun ways to create and express. And the essential teaching, I suppose, or realization that I keep coming back to that is that the essence of what know thyself is, is to

• 17:25André Duqum?

  Play in the drama of this world, so to speak, and still to maintain the awareness

• 17:33André Duqum?

  of our consciousness that is the background witness to all that we experience in the content of our life. So I think the progression, if you so will, would be to still be fully in the world, but have greater, greater access to the field of awareness that holds it all. And that's who I would say I am beneath all the labels. That just so happens to be the same thing we all hold underneath all the labels.

• 18:07André Duqum?

  Manzanita Berry, do you ever fall off your practices with meditation or music? What helps you return? I do. Music, she's probably referring to, or he, referring to piano and guitar. I love to play music. It's been a hobby and something I'm stepping more into, like, production-wise. I just love it, and it's been a lifelong passion since I was a young wee lad.

• 18:33André Duqum?

  But when it comes to that and meditation, the thing that usually throws it off the most is traveling. I just went to Bali for like, a month, and it was awesome. I traveled around the country on scooters with friends, going to all like, these kind of low-key hidden gems. My friend Chelsea organized, and it was incredible. And I think the nature of just traveling, going to different spots, is that you go to bed and you wake up at different times, and there's always exciting things to go do and explore. And, you know, I just learned to ease a bit of the militant meditation practice that I must stick to, and rather carry that sense of meditativeness into any experience that

• 19:16André Duqum?

  I'm encountering. Now, I would say that can go a bit too far, and where a formal practice has really been supportive of me is like, really anchoring and having a consistency every single morning for weeks and months and years on, is like, that sadhana, that consistency is such a bedrock of peace that you keep on making investments to, that then bears so many fruits in life. And so I definitely make it a point after You know, being a bit more lenient, so to speak, with myself, not that it's a forceful endeavor, but just coming back to the devotion of Asadna and the consistency and the fruits that that bears is something I just kind of come back to.

• 19:58André Duqum?

  "Everyday is supernatural. Are you single, taken, adventuring? What's up with Andres' dating life?" Oh, wouldn't you like to know? I'm single. I just spent a little over a year doing celibacy. I felt like it would really support my intention for going into 2025, which was to focus my creative energy on helping this podcast and my work blossom in the way that I wanted it to. And that meant minimizing distractions. That meant using creative life force energy, if you will, which is one and the same, I think, with sexual energy, to just kind of really

• 20:37André Duqum?

  hone that in, to focus that. And it's been amazing. And I am just figuring out how I want to approach dating. I'm not looking for my life partner. I am certainly open to wherever she may be. And I do want to start a family, but I'm in no rush. Like, I could see it coming in the next three to five years. It's just totally dependent on meeting that person. So I'll be grateful for when that connection comes in. But I've

• 21:17André Duqum?

  just been more keenly aware of like, just this dance between, like, I'm not much of a casual dater. I really respect and acknowledge the

• 21:36André Duqum?

  Weight that sexual energy has and sharing that with somebody. And this gray area, which I'm still like, kind of stumbling my words to try to express because I, it's this gray area of like, sometimes I can be a bit too black or white, which is like, if you are not my person and we're not, I don't see myself potentially having kids with you, then is it a waste of time to even explore any intimacy? And that feels a bit extreme, but I'm like figuring out where the balance is in between, you know, because I'm also very mindful of like leaving people's hearts better than when I found them. And if people fall in love on different timelines, that doesn't always set that up the best. So I think you can kind of catch my drift. Like I'm just

• 22:21André Duqum?

  navigating how to go about all of it. And I think that the, the interesting exploration is intimacy within all friend groups can still be super present, you know? And I am grateful to have an amazing group of friends where I feel like I can get my kind of cup fold in terms of human connection and relationships. And so we'll see, we'll see what life blesses me with and in that chapter when it comes.

• 22:57André Duqum?

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• 23:41André Duqum?

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• 24:19André Duqum?

  Odyssey AI, what do you use to know yourself deeply? Journaling, apps, AI? Do you keep notes? I mean, I guess there's a couple of ways to go about this. There's like the ontological sense of knowing yourself from the bottom up raw experience of your daily life. And then there is the top down logical analyzing the different aspects of self. I do both. Like I definitely journal when I feel called. It's not a consistent everyday practice for me. But whenever I feel like I have something on my heart, I usually end up writing for an hour or two and they be, they end up being usually less like just reflecting on my own life, but like an area of life. And I'm actually starting to translate or like just refine

• 25:02André Duqum?

  these a bit more into blog posts. I think I'm going to start up a Substack. I'll leave that down below if you guys want to stay connected. This next year has a lot more of me kind of sharing those personal thoughts and connecting with you guys one on one like this as well. So journaling, notes, I use Notion to kind of track and organize my different thoughts and focuses on different areas of life. And yeah, but I would say like the most immediate way to know or stay connected with myself is silence. So not just external silence in the environment, but meditative practices that allow me to drop in, breathwork

• 25:44André Duqum?

  that allows me to drop in, recognition of the awareness of all experience that allows me to drop in. And that's available to us at any moment. And practices could help us arrive there more consistently. This is Bonki. What makes you most optimistic about the future of humanity?

• 26:06André Duqum?

  Can get quite pessimistic out there when we have access to all the atrocities at any given moment that are happening on the planet, right in the palm of our hands. And what makes me feel optimistic is to, one, get off of it all for a bit. And I believe in people. I believe in the human heart and human ingenuity and our ability to innovate and create solutions that are incredible to incredible problems. And so I would say that that's what makes me feel optimistic about the possibility. And to be real, it's like, who knows what's gonna happen?

• 26:48André Duqum?

  And I think that we're living uniquely in a time where because of the exponential tech and the rate of progression, we are going to see some really wild stuff in the next five, let alone 10, 20, 30 years. And it just is motivating for me to just ask the question of how do I want to show up amidst the sea of rapid change and growth? And how I answer that question is fundamentally, I see myself working with what I feel is the root of a lot of systemic issues, which is the consciousness in which we do things.

• 27:30André Duqum?

  And the more that people can get to know themselves and get in touch with their self, which is inherently connected to being more loving, kind, and connected, then people will make choices that are in alignment with that knowing. And morality doesn't have to be something that's taught or created laws around solely, but

• 27:56André Duqum?

  Can be the byproduct of a lived experience. And so that's, that's how I try to show up. As it pertains to being optimistic about the direction humanity is going in. Skarir, which meditations do you practice? Shunya meditation, Shambhavi Mahamudra, both learned through Isha Foundation, which has been great. And then a couple variations of like a mantra practice and breath work. So like both longer holotropic breath work and then very variations of pranayama and

• 28:39André Duqum?

  breath of fire, just to kind of depends on what more so the needs of the day are.

• 28:45André Duqum?

  But I find like I need something consistent. That's like a 20 minute practice in the morning. Usually I'll go back to Shambhavi Mahamudra. Now I did go sit my third Vipassana.

• 28:57André Duqum?

  Probably 10 months ago, and that is a form of meditation that has been super beneficial for me as well. And it's not something I'm currently practicing every single day, though, but I would like to. Illy Kinney, how did you believe so much in yourself to create something at this divine and expanded scale? I'm honored you think so. How did I believe in myself? I would say that I just focused on the next important action, you know, like even when I, you know, four, over four years ago, I didn't even have an envision of really starting a podcast. For me, this is the culmination of my life experience and skillsets that combined together in this thing

• 29:41André Duqum?

  that I'm really passionate about, that feels very alignment with my Dharma and how I want to show up and connect with people. And it's the greatest thing ever. Like, I love doing what I do so much. And it didn't require this heroic level of belief to start.

• 29:59André Duqum?

  It just required starting and that can be scary at times and I understand that for different people, different stages that could.

• 30:08André Duqum?

  Require a lot of belief that you don't feel like you have in both it working out and your capacity to show up and do it well. But I think the, the cool thing about this journey of podcasting and what I, what I'm doing now is that it doesn't have to be perfect, you know? You only have to have an outrageous amount of belief in yourself if you think it needs to be perfect right off the bat. If you can get a bit comfortable with being uncomfortable, then it's enough to start and get the ball rolling. And within a couple of weeks to a few months, when it comes to podcasting or sharing your voice more at large, I think you'll be surprised at how much progress you can see.

• 30:52André Duqum?

  And if you just keep at it and if you keep growing, like you'll look back and the dots will be able to be connected and it will make a lot more sense. So that's what I would say. Claus Stephanie, what's your vision for KT for the coming year? Yeah, I am excited for the expansion this next year. We've had a couple of pivots within the team internally, a couple of new hires. I would say a few things. One, more in-person community stuff and a digital online community. I feel very connected to you guys and I love the outpouring of emails and responses and comments on YouTube and Spotify. And also I feel so privileged to have some of you come up to me in person and connect

• 31:35André Duqum?

  and share how the show has been impactful for you. It fills me up a lot. It reminds me of why I started in the first place and why I do what I do and that these numbers of people on a screen are real human beings navigating their own experience and that this is really, I know it sounds funny to say, but like this actually helps people. Like it, you know, when I'm sitting and having these conversations here with people, like there are these cameras in the room and then it gets packaged and put together and a lot of hard work goes into it. Then it goes out there and it reaches, it's like the bat signal for people that resonate at, you know, at this level and get impacted by the work. And so I'm grateful that.

• 32:18André Duqum?

  It has impacted you all to the degree it has, and I crave more in-person stuff. And having also a digital home for the community as well. So we're exploring a couple of different platforms, seeing what makes the most sense. Maybe creating our own in-house thing on our, on our website, know thyselfpodcast.com. And then I'm thinking of doing like a once a quarter, 50 to 100 person kind of two to three day retreats here. You know, in LA probably to start and then go around the world, eventually doing a tour and different things like that. So, community is a big one for 2026. And then also sharing more of my personal thoughts, teachings, writings.

• 33:00André Duqum?

  And that'll be through Substack, newsletter, solo cast episodes. And then early stages of writing a book, which I will share more in due time. But I don't want to speak too prematurely yet, but I did have kind of a framework for something I feel doesn't exist as a book that I wish existed. And so now that I feel authentic about that, I can start, you know, fleshing that out more. So I'm looking forward to that. XX, Taran XX. When did you start playing piano? I love it when you post you playing. Thanks. Yeah, I post sometimes little clips on Instagram of just kind of jamming on piano.

• 33:41André Duqum?

  I started playing guitar when I was eight, picked up the piano closer to probably 16, just like a little keyboard at my mom's house at the time and never really took it serious. And then probably like four or five years ago, I started playing a lot more. Only recently did I start taking some lessons a couple of times a month. And that's been wondrous in how having a good teacher can make you just get a lot better quicker. So.

• 34:11Speaker 01

  Low energy, unfocused, foggy, you might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body. With a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors. Great tasting hydration, no matter where you're going. Shop now online or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade, hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist.

• 34:39André Duqum?

  Yeah, that's, that's been my, my journey with it. Lauren Ives, what practices keep spiritual insight grounded in accountable and everyday life? I think spiritual insight, if it is spiritual insight, inherently has a transformative quality. Meaning, if spiritual insight is more analogous to wisdom than information, wisdom inherently has a transformational quality to it. Meaning, the mere act of a growth in awareness changes how you live, changes how you perceive. And if perception is reality, then, then the consciousness in which we do anything gets changed. And so, you would then more readily look for ways to show up in service in life, to

• 35:23André Duqum?

  show up when it's difficult in the relationships and experiences in life that are crunchy, with more compassion, empathy, and understanding, you know? That's, uh, that's what I would say. At least what first comes to mind. Kunal Chhatkara, what illusion do you see most are still caught in without realizing it? Could take this many different places. I think, first, Artemis Ward has this interesting quote that's, "It ain't so much the things we know that get us into trouble, it's the things we know that just ain't so." And you think about that...

• 36:04André Duqum?

  It's not only the things we're ignorant to that hold us back in life. It's the things we're convicted of that are just detached from reality. The beliefs and thoughts that we have about self and how the world works that just aren't the way that it is. And I think this is something I navigate a lot. You know, you get exposed to a lot of podcasts and information that is very popular that gets rewarded in the algorithms of like the more crazy new age revelation insight that you can title an episode, the more profound it's supposed to be. And the more special and kind of urgent it feels.

• 36:48André Duqum?

  And in reality, it's kind of hijacking our lizard brain to often fill ourselves with beliefs that aren't actually serving us. Ideas and philosophies that are not meaningfully changing the way we live our life. And I can nerd out all day. I enjoy, you know, thinking about different conspiracies and philosophical rabbit holes. Like, I don't think everything has to be so utilitarian. But I do think that what holds us back without realizing it so often are our beliefs and perceptions that we don't realize, obviously by the nature of it, that we're having.

• 37:32André Duqum?

  And so that's the first thing that comes to mind is like examining what are the beliefs that I have around how life works, reality operates? And can I hold them at the very least with a bit more of a loose palm? And for me, that's created a lot more space to let go of the things that once were so, was so convicted of that actually felt like kind of took me away from reality as it is. The other one is just separation. The illusion that most of us are caught in without realizing it is that we operate as this locus of thoughts and memory as a separate self in the world.

• 38:17André Duqum?

  And in many ways, it's the game, it's the illusion we're here to play. But without the context of a greater expanded sense of self and awareness that holds it, then we are enchanted and slave to a small egoic self that is at the whims of our unconscious conditioning and repulsivity and reactiveness. And to me, that is the most pervasive illusion. And like I said, it's kind of the illusion we're here to play. Oneness experiencing separateness. And so let's have a good time, shall we? Jody Cosmic Wildflower Camille.

• 39:00André Duqum?

  What was your earliest experience that awakened you to God within? The earliest thing I can remember is I fell off the monkey bars when I was six-ish, six years old-ish. And I remember it vaguely. It feels more of like a dream to me now, but my mom and sister and family kind of reflect back to me what my thoughts and experience was. I basically fell off as I was climbing the monkey bars in the backyard of my childhood home, smacked my head on the ground and went unconscious for many minutes at a time. They freaked out, they called the ambulance. My dad was crying. It was like one of the first time, I think my mom said, you saw like emotion and tears come from him.

• 39:44André Duqum?

  But I apparently, upon waking up from that experience, relayed that I saw this big, like, light in the sky that people were being drawn towards. And a big sort of black hole-ish looking thing on the ground that other people were they were moving towards. Now, that sounds like a very sort of religious description of like heaven and hell or different, yeah, energetic things going on. I have no idea what to make of it. I just remember that being a very interesting, slightly spiritual experience at a kind

• 40:27André Duqum?

  of, yeah, oddly young age because of the nature of it. And I would say a more profound experience of God, if you will, was probably on my first meditation retreat when I was 19. And

• 40:49André Duqum?

  I experienced

• 40:52André Duqum?

  complete dissolution of self where for the first time I tasted what it's like to just hang out in my own being

• 41:06André Duqum?

  without jumping from thought to thought like a monkey from vine to vine and

• 41:14André Duqum?

  that to me was like the most liberating thing that I could have experienced at the time because upon tasting that now I have, now I had a reference point of what's possible and upon realizing that I want to like live there. Why not live in a place that is as good as that as much as possible? And so that was, I would say, one of my earlier experiences. Deaf Nakudella. How do you know it's your calling when it comes? How can you overcome the fear and inertia of starting?

• 41:49André Duqum?

  I would say that despite what many people think me living my calling here on the podcast is, there are many days where I am unsure of

• 42:00André Duqum?

  what I'm creating or what the next version of it is going to be. I think you know you're living your path when it becomes pathless. When you don't know for certain what's to come. And so I don't think your calling is one concrete thing that once you get, you have. I think it's more the natural progression of a worthy ideal and that comes with time, that comes with lived experience, that comes with a lot of pain and sufferings or grace and by having the contrast of what is not for us, I think we get more of the conviction of what is for us and

• 42:43André Duqum?

  So there are many experiences I've had in my life that were jobs that served at the time, but ultimately were not like my highest calling. At this moment, this podcast is one form of expression that feels like a strong calling for me. And at another point in my life, maybe it won't be, or it'll be a different iteration, you know? And so I think it's an ever evolving thing. And we can just put so much weight on ourself of needing to find the one definite chief purpose and aim of our entire life. And the weight of that is not something any of us should feel like we have to actually bear. Because in realizing like what a gift this life is and bringing presence to it,

• 43:25André Duqum?

  we can meet each life experience and each encounter that comes our way as our purpose in any given moment. And the more that we show up presently, the more that we cultivate a sense of sensitivity and can listen to what life is telling us and to our own internal desires. And I know we have the ability to, with a few decisions, move in a direction much more in alignment with what feels true to us. And I think, you know, the inertia or the fear of starting is, what I mentioned a bit earlier is like, when you look at this big behemoth thing

• 44:06André Duqum?

  that you think is your calling, or you know, maybe you want to be the successful author, podcaster, or teacher, or parent, and it feels daunting to look at all that must be done to one day be at the place where you're living in your purpose or calling, so to speak. And I like to give this analogy quite a bit. It's just because it resonates with me. Like if I'm in LA right now and I want to drive to, let's say, San Diego at nighttime, I can't see the full way. I can't see from point A to point B, but the headlights of my car illuminate 100, 200 feet ahead of me at a time. And that's enough to move a little bit further. And then, once you get further, you see further. And once you get more further, you see even further.

• 44:50André Duqum?

  And that is a progression that can be directly relayed to our experience of realizing our calling, or you know, how our life and our work and our career all kind of merges into one. And so. That's what I would say is don't focus on just what the end goal is. Focus on the direction you're heading and that direction is more important than speed and focus on what is the one most important thing that you can do today in this moment that you know that you're probably avoiding.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  Low energy, unfocused, foggy, you might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body with a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors. Great tasting hydration, no matter where you're going. Shop now online or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist.

• 45:55André Duqum?

  To get you a bit closer to that in this moment. Every day is supernatural. Do you think the more one knows themself, the harder it is to fall in love and be in relationship?

• 46:08André Duqum?

  Yes and no. So I would say no, it's not more difficult to fall in love. I think that the more that you recognize your true nature, that is love. We don't need as much self-love, but to realize ourself is love. And in that aspect, you're falling in love with life itself and all the many different expressions of it. Why I say, you know, it can be harder is that only to the ones that are inauthentic and to the ones that are not in coherence with who you're becoming. And so I would actually say that the more you know yourself, the more you maintain

• 46:51André Duqum?

  the real capacity to actually be in relationship with any given person or thing in a given moment. Whereas prior to that, the more that we're living life through our unconscious tendencies and dogmatic belief systems and personas, we're actually not engaging, fully making contact with whatever we're relating to. So this life, the universe is relational and the more that we remove the barriers to...

• 47:26André Duqum?

  Connection, the more that we can authentically relate with whatever it is in front of us. And so I think that through deepening our knowing of ourself, we have a greater capacity to be in relationship and to fall in love in any given moment. However, there is usually a swath of relationships that we may no longer choose to partake in and be in, and that's okay, too. And for those type of relationships where you can't meet somebody fully, or they can't meet you fully, those very well may feel harder to maintain, and we might want

• 48:07André Duqum?

  to let fall away. I remember this thing Joe Hudson mentioned in our podcast was, because I'm awakened or enlightened, I can live on top of a disco. But because I'm awakened, I don't want to live on top of a disco, meaning the more that you grow and the awareness of yourself and evolve as a human being and mature, the more you grow your ability to be with any experience. But the more often you'll probably also just find joy and peace in your being in your own solitude, and might not very well choose to live on top of a disco, so to speak. And the,

• 48:49André Duqum?

  you know, that's easy also to say, I think, from the ability to choose that. Like, I'm a 20, almost 29 year old dude now, who lives on his own and has my own career and can choose to just F off kind of whenever I want, and have a lot of space to myself. And I think there's a whole world of growth for me upon having a family and kids that gets to put a lot of these theories to test in terms of the peace and joy and recognition of self amidst a sea of noise and chaos. And so that was a tangent, but.

• 49:32André Duqum?

  That's what I'm responding with today. Laura Humanopuente, do you believe in free will? Just a light question. Y'all love to send the deep dives. Not like, what's your favorite color? What's? No, I probably would love to do like a full podcast on this because it definitely deserves a longer answer. I would say yes or no. The ego does not have free will. The true self relates to will completely differently. So if you look at free will, there is no choice that can be made in a complete vacuum,

• 50:16André Duqum?

  exempt of any internal, external influences. A choice that I'm going to make to look left instead of look right right now, or choose vanilla over chocolate ice cream, on some level, can always be tracked to various factors and influences that are derived from childhood, to the temperature of a room, to the atmosphere and environment you're in, to so many different influences internally and externally. And so that is not the free will that I think is, so to speak, worth talking about, that most people actually care about, and that moves the needle in terms of our experience of life. The more that we grow in awareness, the more that we sort of earn free will, and the free

• 51:00André Duqum?

  will, the way that I'm defining it, meaning, no one has free will, but the more they grow in awareness, the more they have space to relate to their will. And it's this understanding that as one grows in awareness, you no longer are tied to the same unconscious forces driving behavior and thoughts. And that, to me, is the freedom, I think, that is more worth exploring, rather than the philosophical debate of free will on its own, and the way that most people use the term exists or not.

• 51:39André Duqum?

  I do think this invites the perspective that, on some level, we can view all people as forces of nature, like phenomena unto themselves, the way that you look at a tree or different animal life that are compelled by the forces of nature that compel them.

• 52:01André Duqum?

  Surely by gaining awareness that the person who just committed murder had a tumor pressing up against their amygdala, that brings in a certain level of understanding and compassion into the picture that you maybe didn't have prior. And so on some level, we are all a product of the experiences that we've lived through. And that invites a lot of compassion to meet people where they are, without disregarding that actions have consequences and that we very well may need to imprison people who are dangerous to society. But I think that in reflecting how we don't have free will

• 52:46André Duqum?

  to the degree we largely presume, we can bring a lot more understanding into those dynamics. And yeah, that's my answer. Through no free will of my own. That joke is overplayed. Sovereign Wellness. How are you approaching dating and relationships in this era of life? Hmm, yeah. I mentioned this earlier. Heavy on communication, discerning what the balance is in terms of what level of dating I'm interested in exploring right now? Or do I want to just kind of live monk life up here doing my podcast thing? And wait for the one that I could, you know, build a family with?

• 53:31André Duqum?

  So I don't know, we'll see. I love feminine energy. I enjoy, like we all do, intimacy and physical touch and all those things. I'm grateful that I'm surrounded by a lot of beautiful people, like really amazing, incredible women. And I think the honest reflection is just, I don't, I don't think I'm ready for partnership right now. So of course, that could change in a moment of meeting somebody where I feel that like level of connection and knowing. But I just have this innate hesitation, I suppose, of like not wanting to waste somebody's time. And if they fall in love with me and I don't fall in love with them, then I feel like there is part of me that probably knew that going in.

• 54:15André Duqum?

  And so, as you can see, I'm figuring this out. Um, all right.

• 54:27André Duqum?

  Yannick Nod Narb, third one from you, my man. What is the most overlooked doorway in consciousness? Perhaps missed due to simplicity.

• 54:38André Duqum?

  The most overlooked doorway in consciousness. I think simply reflecting on who is it that is seeing right now? Or from what place is it that is observing? All experience arise right now. It's sort of not a philosophy, but a inwards turning of your awareness.

• 55:05André Duqum?

  And that is, that has a level of immediacy to it that is almost comical in how often it gets overlooked. Sort of like the fish that doesn't know it's swimming in water. It's all it's ever known. And spending some time hanging out, reflecting on the nature of awareness, I think, reaps us many rewards. Mark van der Heiden. What's the deepest question you can ever imagine asking yourself?

• 55:39André Duqum?

  In this moment, it would be, what is the I that is aware of all of this?

• 55:48André Duqum?

  Coupled with a question and inquiry that is ever more increasing for me personally these days is, what is the story or myth that wants to be lived through my life? And I see both necessary, like waking up to the truth of who you are.

• 56:11André Duqum?

  And then realizing that there are these creative impulses innate to you, to us all uniquely.

• 56:18André Duqum?

  And this life is a creative act. And so seeing what the myth is that wants to live through this life and how my own hero's journey is unfolding, you know, to me, that's been a been an inquiry as I'm just kind of slowly stepping into my thirties of like, in what ways do I want to show up? In what ways do I want to teach? And what do I want to be a steward for? And these questions that I'm living, you know, I think are are helping me reflect on what I'm what I'm making.

• 56:51Speaker 01

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• 57:20André Duqum?

  Of my life. Two questions here that are pretty similar. Charade, what you feel is most important for calling in sacred union? Your person? Kara Morton, how to navigate being single and patiently waiting for the person who is aligned at a soul level? I think that the key to a successful relationship is to hold people coming together. We all have growth still to be had, aspects of self to embrace. But for me, embracing my own solitude, enjoying the company of myself, I think is setting

• 57:59André Duqum?

  me up to choose partnership from a place of absolute choice and not reactive tendency or to fulfill a need that is a hole that I have yet to fill within myself. For me, it's.

• 58:20André Duqum?

  Falling in love with life and what life wants to move through me gives me enough energy to where I, I don't look at relationship as a means to extract a sense of peace and wholeness and completeness within myself.

• 58:40André Duqum?

  That way, when that person does come, that it's a complete choosing and sharing of joy and not an extraction of it. And so, yeah, I would say falling in love with life and clearing out and making space for more of your essence to shine through inherently will magnetize to you that which is meant for you in all arenas of life, especially romantically.

• 59:09André Duqum?

  The link went. What are some of the biggest patterns you've unraveled in yourself or are still unraveling? I would say any aspects where I still feel performative, where I say the good thing, the smart thing, the pretty thing, and not the raw thing, the real thing, what's true in my experience of how I'm feeling it. And

• 59:39André Duqum?

  it's easy to get into podcast mode with me. Like, I can very easily slip into the philosophical ideation and the theorizing of emotions, like the intellect, the intellectualization of different emotions. And so I think that's definitely a pattern I notice a lot of guys struggle with, a lot of people struggle with in general.

• 1:00:06André Duqum?

  And that's one, another one is just like not rushing into the future. I have big dreams and visions for what I want to create in the world. And sometimes the delta between where I am and where I think I ought to be causes dysregulation, suffering, discomfort, to varying degrees. I have it under wraps for the most part. I'm pretty, I'm a pretty patient person. But yeah, it still shows up here and there, like.

• 1:00:38André Duqum?

  This feeling of urgency, you know, I like that aspect of me. But I think the reminder when I keep coming back to myself is not knowing your path fully is part of your path. And part of creating your way is messing up along the way. And so the visions I have for myself and what I want to create the next few years, just like really savoring the experience of the journey of it, because I know one day it's all gonna work out. And I'm gonna look back and say that I was actually here for it all.

• 1:01:21André Duqum?

  So that's what I feel. XXTaranXX, how were you raised spiritually/religiously catalyst in your spiritual evolution? I grew up in a Greek Orthodox Christian church that spoke Arabic mostly. I grew up in Michigan until 19, before I moved out to Los Angeles. My mom's side of the family is from Palestine and Lebanon. My dad's side is from Jordan. They both came from Christian families and we went to the church growing up. We went to a lot of holiday events at the church and I was an altar boy for a little bit. And I went to summer camp with my church here and there.

• 1:02:04André Duqum?

  And yeah, my parents never forced anything on me. Like, I felt fairly disconnected to it, because while I can understand Arabic kind of loosely, they did not speak it to me consistently growing up. So largely, I was just sitting in the church, daydreaming about other stuff. And then catalysts, there have been many. At 19, I met somebody who did a reading on me. Like, it was like, yo, this is what's going on in your health, your mind, you're at a crossroads in life. Things were so spot on that opened my mind up to what's possible in human consciousness if you purify your system enough. That sent me down a path of refining my diet and sitting in different meditation retreats.

• 1:02:48André Duqum?

  And since then, there have been various teachers, books, courses, retreats that have all impacted my journey.

• 1:02:59André Duqum?

  Katya Bondestam. What kind of diet do you follow and why? I don't like labels. I about 10 years ago decided to go to a whole food, plant-based diet. So I get living foods, about probably half raw, half cooked. I don't do any animals. And I feel great. I don't do any gluten as well. I think especially in the States here is just, the wheat is just so messed up. In Europe, I, my body does great with it. It's super fine. But, uh, but yeah, I'm usually eating plants, beans, legumes, sprouts. Been growing a lot of broccoli sprouts, which have been great.

• 1:03:41André Duqum?

  Kitchery, sauerkraut in my meals. I eat good and I have this organic meal delivery service that delivers every day, which is an amazing privilege. I feel very grateful and I still like to cook occasionally, but for the most part, I prefer to have it handled for me. I just get a bunch more time that would have been otherwise spent cooking and cleaning and chopping. Book of Rach. What's up Rach? What was the book that launched you into seeking? Can be more than one. There were a few integral spirituality in the whole Wilbur camp by, you know, Ken Wilbur, lots of great books there.

• 1:04:25André Duqum?

  That to me gave me a really useful framework. At the time I first read about waking up or on growing up around the progression that consciousness moves through and the self that moves from an egocentric I, sense of I, personal doership to ethnocentric, to world-centric. That, that book, I think, set a lot of really important frameworks in motion for me. And there were some other great ones. I mean, Mystic Musings by Sadhguru.

• 1:05:04André Duqum?

  The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle,

• 1:05:12André Duqum?

  some Osho books, a few of those I would say were helpful, like around nine, 10 years ago when I started diving into them. All right, last couple. Yannick Nod Narb, what's the deepest truth you've met this year? I would say that life's intelligence is always better than my plan for it. And part of just being a creative being means that we have ideas for things. We try them, some of them work, some of them fail, and we learn as we go. And life knows what it's doing. And the more that I listen to what life wants to do with me and my life and my skills and connections and all the things,

• 1:05:54André Duqum?

  the more that I can be effective in how I'm using my time and energy. So that's been a recurring lesson.

• 1:06:02André Duqum?

  Amir Salem, do you, as Andre, think that God is consciousness? Well, Amir, I don't think that we can define something that's undefinable. The word spirituality and God, consciousness as well, have been often just so vague in what people actually mean when they say that. Ellen Watts has this good saying, trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth. And I think that a lot of the definitions that we have can be quite circular.

• 1:06:38André Duqum?

  However, I would use God and the consciousness that animates all life. The consciousness that gives expression to all life. That is the essence that all life shares, at least in my view. Certainly within all human beings, we have the background field of consciousness that...

• 1:07:05André Duqum?

  Holds all experience and that is the same within all of us. So you could say that that which unites all of us within all of our experience could be described as God. And so I think God is the infinite awareness that arises in all things. And that to live in prayer means to recognize that the being that I have is the same being that you have and that we share that being. And that recognition is the recognizing of other as self. And that's one way in this moment today that I would define God.

• 1:07:49Speaker 01

  Low energy, unfocused, foggy, you might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body. With a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors. Great tasting hydration, no matter where you're going. Shop now online or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist.

• 1:08:18André Duqum?

  However sacrilegious to try to do. The Holy Vessel, as someone living fully in their Dharma, do you still go through episodes of depression? I do not go through episodes of depression. I go through mild episodes of dysregulated nervous system because I take on too much or because I haven't been as mindful with my practices or whatever it might be. But I have, for whatever reason, been able to start early enough to where depression is something that I am fortunate to not have a prolonged experience of. I've definitely

• 1:09:03André Duqum?

  Been bummed out for various periods of time through heartbreak, through not knowing what direction my life was going early on and like having the frustration of that and like that kind of angst of like just wanting more and knowing that I'm meant for more and that I would not categorize as depression as well. But I empathize a lot for people that go through sort of that chronic sense of of depression, like the weight of the world, you know, lands on is landing on you. And I have various friends who have dealt with pretty strong mental health issues. And man, it's just, it's one of the scariest

• 1:09:44André Duqum?

  things to see somebody's world unravel and want to support them the best you can and realize that it's also out of your control. And so if you or whoever's listening to this are dealing with about of that, I just wanna say I love you and I'm giving you a big hug through this digital screen. I think individuals like Michael Beckwith and other folks in this podcast have talked about the Dark Knight. Lisa Miller recently talked about how depression is one side of the coin that is spiritual awakening and that the void of depression

• 1:10:26André Duqum?

  can create an incredible opportunity for a catalyst in our life and it often is playing that role. So maybe it's a helpful perspective. And yeah, this was fun. That was a lot of questions. I am curious what if in this episode resonated with you and how you like this format? Do you guys want to do more Q and A's? You guys maybe send in video questions? Can just hop on and riff some topics? I'm excited to share more with you all in 2026 and connect with you on this level. And that's all. I just want to say thank you, guys. Like, I get to do what I love and it only is made possible with a community of people that are

• 1:11:08André Duqum?

  like minded, that share these curiosities. And I am committed to continuing to and continuing to raise the bar of the guest quality, the production, my own vulnerability and

• 1:11:26André Duqum?

  Raw truth for you guys and it means so much to feel you guys and to know that there's this collection of humans out there that are all navigating their own journey of being human and it's a gift to know that we're in it together and that we're navigating it separately, but also as as one big family. And so I'm looking forward to in the coming year, creating spaces where we can more effortlessly engage with each other, potentially do like a live monthly call outside of the podcast, bring in guest speakers, whoever you guys want to speak to. I really would love to see what you guys would want out of the evolution of what

• 1:12:08André Duqum?

  this community is. And so yeah, stay stay connected on social media and newsletter, Substack, all the things and I'll keep you posted on that. But I hope you enjoy. Next week's episode is amazing with Lucy Hale. I just recorded with her a few hours ago and I really love that episode. I think you'll dig it. And yeah, until next time, be well, take care and I'll catch you on the next one.