E220 - Peter Crone: The Single Thought Keeping You Stuck In a State of Survival | Peter Crone (LIVE)

Discover upcoming KT retreats: https://ktretreats.com/ This episode was recorded during the first Know Thyself Retreat, with Peter Crone, widely known as the Mind Architect, joining me for our fourth conversation. Peter has spent more than three decades helping people see through the subconscious patterns that shape their lives. Here he lays out the difference between what he calls 1.0, the survival orientation most of us live from, and 2.0, a way of living that comes from recognizing who we are beneath the identity we built in childhood. What We Dive Into: 1. Peter describes most human behavior as oriented toward survival, and today that survival is mostly psychological, protecting an identity formed in childhood. Within that lens, self-improvement can only refine a limited self, so his work focuses on dissolving the beliefs that generate the same problems wherever we go. 2. After a breakup that echoed the early loss of both his parents, Peter realized the honest answer to every anxious question was simply “I don’t know.” Accepting that life is inherently uncertain released his need to predict outcomes and let him finally be present with another person instead of his fear of losing them. 3. Across the live coaching sessions, Peter points out how often we place the source of our feelings in events and other people. When attendees saw that beliefs like being powerless or unworthy live in the mind and are no part of their actual makeup, the lens loosened and new choices became visible. Know Thyself, but not by yourself. A guided space to return home to yourself. https://www.knowthyselfcollective.com ✨THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: https://drinkLMNT.com/KnowThyself Try LMNT & get a free sample pack Anima Mundi: 20% off with code KNOWTHYSELF https://animamundiherbals.com/collections/andres-plant-picks ___________ 00:00 Intro 01:38 A Live Podcast in Topanga Canyon 03:14 Introducing the Mind Architect 06:09 Two Days of Deep Connection 07:14 Human 1.0 and the Survival Mindset 14:56 Nothing to Prove, Hide, or Want 18:15 The Freedom of Not Knowing 29:03 Living Through the Lens of Identity 31:07 Creating Safe Spaces for Insight 38:36 Relationships as Mirrors 40:35 Why Vulnerability Feels Like Risk 49:33 Triggers as Invitations to Freedom 54:22 Live Coaching on Personal Power 1:27:10 Reclaiming the Power of Your Voice 1:44:02 Honoring Trauma and the Soul’s Journey 1:50:11 The Trap of Working on Yourself 2:13:50 Being Fully Human 2:14:47 Birthday Reflections on Belonging ___________ ✨MORE FROM PETER ↳Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/petercrone/ ↳YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcakm7T9YgnrWYL4g15Drgw ↳Podcast: https://www.petercrone.com/podcast ↳https://www.petercrone.com 📜MORE FROM KNOW THYSELF ↳Spotify: https://spoti.fi/4bZMq9l ↳Apple: https://apple.co/4iATICX ↳Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/ ↳TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@andreduqum ↳Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/knowthyselfbyandreduqum/ ↳https://knowthyselfpodcast.com/ 👁️MORE FROM ANDRÉ ↳Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/@andreduqum ↳Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/know-thyself-podcast ↳Book recs: https://www.knowthyselfpodcast.com/book-list MB01CFQUACULKBE MB01FHP2UDYZ24R MB019JG9YDQV5UT

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  There's no such thing as a person with a problem. How many of you can relate to the feeling of not being enough? Okay, great. You don't want to upset the spouse. You don't want to lose your job. You don't want to lose money. You're always trying to calculate, figure out, predict, speculate what's going to happen as a means of survival. So that's 1.0. 1.0 mindset is the default factory settings of what it is to be a human being.

• 0:20André Duqum?

  If anybody has a pattern that keeps reoccurring in their life, a cycle that keeps coming back.

• 0:25Speaker 02

  I don't do what I want. I don't pursue my biggest and wildest dreams.

• 0:29Speaker 00

  Someone holding a gun against his head? No, you have a choice. You either live or you survive. So that's two entirely different worlds. So what I'm revealing is the 2.0, which is not a upgrade. What I'm interested in is not improving you as a person, but really I'm revealing the essence of who you are.

• 0:46Speaker 03

  I want the 2.0 model. I'm tired of these incremental things. I just feel like I've always had to do everything by myself.

• 0:52Speaker 00

  As long as you think you're a separate self, you have no choice but to survive. You're exhausted. Why are you working on yourself?

• 0:58Speaker 03

  Because I want to be acceptable.

• 1:00Speaker 00

  Which means that underneath it, what does that make you now? I hate to be the one to break it to you, Darby. There's nothing wrong with you. This is the beauty, folks, of being human. See, if you were perfect, you would never have to learn love. Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free. If you can really be honest, what are you struggling with in life right now? I guarantee you underneath it, there is... Our work here is done.

• 1:39André Duqum?

  What's up, everyone? Welcome.

• 1:41Speaker 00

  This is... Gently on the grass.

• 1:45André Duqum?

  I'm hearing slight narration from Peter.

• 1:48Speaker 00

  Oh, hello. What?

• 1:49André Duqum?

  What?

• 1:50Speaker 00

  Shh, I'm not here. Stop looking.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  You're listening to an illusion.

• 1:59Speaker 00

  It's all in your mind.

• 2:04André Duqum?

  Guys, we have an amazing evening in store.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  It's gonna be all right.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  Oh, is this thing on still on? Can you hear me now?

• 2:17Speaker 00

  Sorry, carry on. What were you saying?

• 2:24André Duqum?

  All right, guys. So after a beautiful day of connection with each other, the land with yourselves, I get the pleasure to do a live podcast with y'all, which is so fun.

• 2:42André Duqum?

  It's so cool how, just in a three-day time span of this collective retreat, on day two, it feels like everyone's family. I just see that in the way that you guys are laughing, as you're walking from place to place and having dinner. And it's just such an honor to be able to do this in this setting. Because normally I'm in a podcast studio and it's lovely. I love that for the one-on-one deep dive. But there's something amazing that comes into the space when there's a community that's present. So we'll split it half and half, kind of combo between Peter and I. We'll see where we go. And then we'll open it up for some live coaching, for some Q and A. This guy, you know, descriptions often fail, almost inevitably have to fail, describing

• 3:25André Duqum?

  somebody in their essence, as we've explored today in our different workshops. He is widely known as the Mind Architect and somebody who I, in my eyes, is one of the most effective coaches in helping people discover true freedom in real time. We are all operating through and with blind spots that are just innate to our identity. And he has this really beautiful way to articulate how they are illusory, how there is an intelligent design behind them, and how to see through them to access more liberation in this very present moment. So Peter Crone, could you please join me to the stage, my friend?

• 4:00Speaker 00

  You got it. Let's go. It's gonna take me a minute to get over there, so just talk amongst yourselves.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  I don't always whoop, but when I do, there it is. Anyway.

• 4:17Speaker 00

  I just want to see who's paying attention. Hello? Don't mind me, I'm English. Hello, darling.

• 4:25André Duqum?

  Hello, darling. Hello, puppet.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  Thanks for all coming. I appreciate it.

• 4:32Speaker 00

  Oh, thank you.

• 4:34Speaker 00

  My roofie. What?

• 4:38André Duqum?

  There are drivers.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  Sorry. Bit too soon, huh? Let the light go down at least.

• 4:46André Duqum?

  He's been like this for the past 90 minutes. Just off the leash, as always.

• 4:51Speaker 00

  He just wasn't with me prior to the 90 minutes. So I've been like this the last 35 years.

• 4:55André Duqum?

  Yeah.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  Of course, it's my age. But anyway.

• 5:01Speaker 00

  How are we all doing? We good? You sure? Kind of worried about you.

• 5:07Speaker 00

  We'll find out how good you are in a minute. But anyway, let's pretend for now it feels good. Okay, well, sorry. Are you gonna ask a question? No?

• 5:14André Duqum?

  Um, I think you were just gonna talk the whole time.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  Okay, great.

• 5:17André Duqum?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Speaker 00

  Just how I like it.

• 5:22André Duqum?

  The, uh, the special thing, this is our fourth podcast now. I just can't, can't get rid of this guy.

• 5:27Speaker 00

  Am I the only full-timer?

• 5:29André Duqum?

  You keep asking that. I'm pretty sure...

• 5:31Speaker 00

  Well, because you fucking don't answer the question. You thought you listened well. You really don't. It's like a very, it's like it's a yes or no answer. It's pretty simple, you know?

• 5:41André Duqum?

  I'm trying to protect your ego from being too inflated, so I'm keeping it in the unknown.

• 5:46Speaker 00

  I, listen, I, I, I love my ego. I love myself.

• 5:51André Duqum?

  That's the problem.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Oh, good.

• 5:53André Duqum?

  Okay.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Ego doesn't want to be healed. It wants to be held, and I hold mine tight.

• 6:00Speaker 00

  Okay, what do we got?

• 6:01André Duqum?

  Got a death grip on that thing.

• 6:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:04André Duqum?

  Yeah, I don't know. Where should we go? This is all I planned for.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  Thank you for attending our TED Talk.

• 6:10André Duqum?

  Yeah, that's it. We're over. It's over. Okay, guys, so we've spent all yesterday connecting with each other in a much deeper way, under the oak trees. Here we are in the Pingo Canyon, this magical place. I live in this city. It's home, it's home to many of us. And the entire staff and attendees have gone through quite the journey up until this point. It's been not even 48 hours, and we've done multiple workshops, so many connection exercises, brunches, dinners, live music. And it's, uh, it's been beautiful to see you guys fully relax into yourself and open up in such an amazing way. And I think that makes this conversation land on fertile soil.

• 6:55André Duqum?

  Because from this place, now we get to explore and highlight and reveal some limiting patterns that are pervasive within the human species, within most psychology, and then specifically within the collective that's here today. Peter, why don't we start with a question? How does that sound?

• 7:13Speaker 00

  I just, I love starting there.

• 7:17André Duqum?

  When you look at the subconscious mind and the operating systems that are running the show...

• 7:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:26André Duqum?

  In ways we're not fully privy to.

• 7:29André Duqum?

  You have a beautiful, I guess, new architecture in the way that you're explaining what it means to be human 2.0. In your own words, could you just share, what is the journey you're taking people on in your work?

• 7:40Speaker 00

  Okay. Beautiful question. So first of all, I'm just curious, just so I get a sense of the crowd. How many of you are, to some degree, this is not stroking ego, just really objective question, are familiar with my work to some degree? Okay, great. How many of you have even heard me talk about 2.0 as a kind of container? Okay, great. So for those of you that clearly is the majority, so I would assert that the current orientation of the human mind, which is based in really, I would say, 99% of the way that people function, is that we look through a lens which is primordial oriented towards survival, right? So we live in a world, fortunately, us as a collective, that we're sort of got, if problems that we have are tended to be first world problems.

• 8:24Speaker 00

  We're not typically like worrying about shelter or food. We just sort of the hierarchy of needs. We've kind of covered those, right? But I still want you to consider that survival is the predominant orientation, meaning that it's not so much whether you're gonna get your next meal, but it's really you don't want to upset the spouse, you don't want to mess up the kids, you don't want to lose your job, you don't want to lose money, right? Things like that. So 1.0 mindset is this orientation, which to me is the default factory settings of what it is to be a human being. And I realized this for myself about 20 something years ago, and I realized with an incredible amount of liberation that kind of cascaded through every cell of my body that I'd never experienced before, that allowed me to kind of lift the veil on the matrix.

• 9:06Speaker 00

  Now, inside of that construct of 1.0, there's no resolution, and that's categoric, right? What I mean is, as long as you've got the orientation of being a separate entity, you have no choice but to survive in whichever arena of life you feel the most threatened. Does that make sense? Yes? No, lost you already. Okay. So within that construct, within that particular orientation, there can only be improvements, there can only be changes, there can only be trying to fix or resolve issues. But fundamentally, if, so let's ask a question because of the container that we're in here, which is beautiful. How many of you would say that you're working on improving self-love?

• 9:49Speaker 00

  Right, that's a worthwhile pursuit, is it not? Like, you know, it's LA, right? So who isn't at some degree working on self-love? And for that reason, that's why you're all fucked, right? Because, sorry, was there no swearing in this? Anyway. Because if you understand the mechanism by which behavior is oriented, if you're looking to work on self-love, there's some aspect of you that believes it's unlovable. Do you follow? So that's the fundamental, what I call these ten primal prisons of the subconscious of the current identity, the genesis of an identity which starts in our childhood, which we'll get to probably, especially when I work with some of you, is that at some point, we decided to create these conclusions about who we are, usually in a form of negation.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  So I'm not something. How many of you can relate to, whether you've transcended or not, the feeling at times of not being enough? Okay, great. How many of you at some times think that you're worried what other people think about you? Perfect, there's like at least 60%. The other 40% are so worried what they think other people think about them, they can't put their fucking hands up, right? So do you see, it doesn't really matter. You're fucked either way, I told you. Might as well play the game with me. I've done this a million times. So again, you're being driven by software, right? So when you recognize that these negations, that I'm not something, when you're not something which is juxtaposed against what I would consider to be the essence of you, which is everything, then now you're in a state of conflict. Like, you might say it, you go to spiritual talks, workshops,

• 11:17Speaker 00

  and you're like, I am everything, I'm whole, as a declaration, but the experience of your nervous system is often counter to that, right? And that drives all of the coping strategies. You become perfectionists, you become kind people, nice people, smart people. None of it's bad, you just want to notice that it's just a way of coping in the arena of survival. So that's 1.0. So what I'm revealing is the 2.0, which is not a upgrade. Like, I don't have my phone with me, I think I have iPhone 16. So in the lexicon that we understand as it relates to any form of upgrade, you typically take something and then you just add a number to the digit afterwards, right? So iPhone 16, now it was 17, I think, and now they just launched 18. Now, that's fine, and we understand it within the vocabulary of what it is to be a human,

• 12:02Speaker 00

  but what people are missing is you're taking something that previously existed and you're tweaking it, right? So iPhone 18 contains all the other iterations. Do you understand that? It's just, I take what I had and I tweak it. That's a linear progression that most human beings are stuck on. Within that particular paradigm, all you can ever do is become the best version of your limited self. And that should both be revelatory, but also a little bit painful, right? So really, what you're taking is you as a confined unit, the personality that you think you are, and you're just trying to improve it. It's not wrong, it's a worthwhile cause, but you're still gonna have your foot nailed to the floor of whatever your feeling of inadequacy is. What I'm doing is not trying to improve you. I have no interest in making you better people.

• 12:46Speaker 00

  So sorry, forget about that, I'm not gonna do that, right? I'm much more interested in killing all of you, right? This is Topanga, we're in a cult, like, this is what happens. I mean, what the fuck did you expect, right? Jesus, anyway. So the whole point of like my work is really dissolution, not solution. I'm not in the business of solving problems. There's a million experts out there that will try and solve your problems, which if you understand, is really reinforcing the subtle belief that you have some, right? And when you really get this, problems aren't something that are separate to you. There's no such thing as a person with a problem. The person, personality, and the problem are commensurate. They're one and the same thing. Have you noticed that wherever you go, that you have the same problems, right? You are the generator of what occurs to you as a problem.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  So what I'm interested in is not improving you as a person, but really destroying the identity that is the idea of yourself and revealing what's beneath that. Does that make sense? So that's 2.0. So really, like, you know, I was joking, I had a live event. Was anyone at my live event last night? I don't think so, no, because you were here.

• 13:49Speaker 00

  Terrible fucking choice of priorities.

• 13:53Speaker 00

  So, um, so what I was speaking about, like, you know, joking in the arena that I used to traffic in, which was transforming bodies, not subconscious patterns, you know, friends were like, dude, like, you know, how'd you get a six-pack? I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? We all have six-packs, right? It's just, mine isn't hidden like yours, right? It's like, what do you do? I like, I don't do the shit that you do that hides the six-pack you already have, that you pay 150 bucks to go to the gym to try and find. What are they handing them out there? Just do, stop doing all the shit that you have that, right? You get it, right? So if you look at that as a physiological analogy to what I'm doing, I'm revealing the essence of who you are, which is beneath the bullshit stories you have about yourself. That's about it, really. It's really quite simple.

• 14:38Speaker 00

  I don't know what everyone's problem is.

• 14:41Speaker 04

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• 15:12Speaker 05

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• 15:36Speaker 00

  Finding the six-pack within. Yes, exactly. We're finding your spiritual six-pack.

• 15:42André Duqum?

  Wow, that's the name of this workshop.

• 15:43Speaker 00

  Yeah. Rectus abdominis. What a...

• 15:51André Duqum?

  Could you define the way you use the term freedom?

• 15:55Speaker 00

  Ooh, that's a big one. So freedom has got many connotations. Words I traffic in language, right? Like, words carry vibration, sound, meaning, and depending on who you are, you're gonna hear certain words, and it's gonna trigger based on the current way that you're oriented, right? So you might hear a particular word, and for you, it sort of gives the feeling of euphoria, hope, possibility, for somebody else, it could be threatening. But freedom, I think we can all agree upon, is something that we'd all want. But in the context of how I look at it, freedom is really from the illusion of the idea of yourself. So real freedom to me is when you get to a place where you've got nothing to prove, nothing to hide, and nothing to want for. Right? But if you really unpack that, there's quite a lot in that, right? You've got nothing to prove. How many of you really, being honest, know that at some level in your life, you have things to prove? Right?

• 16:38Speaker 00

  Like, whether it's to your parents, whether it's to prove them right, prove them wrong, prove yourself lovable, prove yourself worthy. It's certainly in the workplace, you've got to prove your worth to contain, you know, the security or the illusion of security of a paycheck, right? How many of you want for things?

• 16:54Speaker 00

  It's a pretty fucking happy-go-lucky crowd here, really. They've all hit contentment, they're like, I don't want for anything, I am peace.

• 17:02André Duqum?

  Honestly, not, no.

• 17:04Speaker 00

  No one can steal this idea, okay? This is all like NDA stuff. Like, one of the T-shirts I'm gonna create is called Feel My Peace.

• 17:12Speaker 00

  P, come on, P-E-A-C-E, just fucking filthy. Feel my peace. I mean, like, isn't that an invitation for freedom? Okay.

• 17:23Speaker 00

  Too soon? Andrea's like, what the fuck did I invite this guy?

• 17:29Speaker 00

  This is freedom, do you see? I'm like, it's a demonstration. So not wanting for anything is that I'm beyond desire, and wanting is, it's nuanced, right? Most people's wanting is reactive. Usually what you want is not what you want, it's in reaction to what you don't want. So then you're being informed by a history that still somewhat defines you. Most people go to the gym in January because they want to get in shape, which is really a reaction to the diagnosis they got from a doctor that if you keep on the track, you're gonna be on statins and beta blockers and whatever. So I gotta get away from that. So that's not wanting, that's like trying to escape, so there's no freedom there either, right? So, and then nothing to hide is really the self-expression. So proving, wanting, and hiding, if you look at those three that I just shared, it's not the full picture of freedom,

• 18:14Speaker 00

  but hopefully you get a semblance of it, which is fundamentally, real freedom at the sort of real spiritual level is the ultimate end of the identity of yourself that was a misnomer that you have become defined by for decades. So, you know, the death of the ego sounds very dramatic, and I think it's something people try to do, but the person who's trying to kill the ego is the ego, so it gets very slippery, right? Do you see that? Someone got it, anyway. So really, that's freedom in a nutshell. Oh, this isn't, no, anyway, that's all I know. No Austin Powers fans? This is a nutshell, no.

• 18:51Speaker 00

  Sort of group business.

• 18:54André Duqum?

  They're the best. They're the best ever.

• 18:56Speaker 00

  They're the best.

• 18:59André Duqum?

  Great. Okay, so.

• 19:00Speaker 00

  Great. We're all free. All good.

• 19:02André Duqum?

  Are we done here?

• 19:03Speaker 00

  Freedom, check. What else do we want?

• 19:06André Duqum?

  Some cake?

• 19:10André Duqum?

  So you've been doing this work for a while.

• 19:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:13André Duqum?

  Like you said, maybe thirty five years.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:15André Duqum?

  Plus.

• 19:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:16André Duqum?

  And you had a few potent experiences where this became experiential, right? Because and the way that you describe insight and the path of Yana Yogas especially is that you can examine all these things through the lens of the intellect. And it can get you close, but it can't get you there. And until the moment where insight arrives and the insight becomes self evident in your experience. It doesn't need to be taught from the external end. It becomes just what is.

• 19:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:43André Duqum?

  In your experience. Would you share a bit about like the first kind of pop into this insight? Where you saw the way that you were chasing these things.

• 19:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:53André Duqum?

  That you said you wanted, but really avoiding things that you didn't want.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  For sure. I mean, there's been a series of like, I would say,

• 20:02Speaker 00

  pretty significant sartoris awakenings or like revelations, right? Understanding that I'd never had before. And so I would say that like, the first was about twenty six years ago, when I just turned ten.

• 20:16Speaker 00

  And I'd go, I was on the back of a breakup. And it was for my frame of reference in my experience of relationships. It was at the time, the most significant. And so as a puppy, you know, young twenty something year old, I felt like, oh, this could be the one. Right? Sort of reinforced by society and you complete me and all the shit that we hear all the time. Right? So for me, there was an inordinate amount of significance because of the way that I was relating to this person, which then because of the significance, when we place something into an arena, that it feels like it's incredibly valuable to us. Not in a bad way, but we often, we relocate resources in a way that

• 21:01Speaker 00

  it's not commensurate with like its real value. Meaning like in plain language, like I was giving all my attention to her because of my default belief that she was the one. Does that make sense? So what happened was, you know, I was the perfect boyfriend, like, but it was a curated perfect boyfriend. Right? Meaning that I would consider myself to be a very loving, affectionate, kind, generous guy. I've never shouted at anyone. I've never cheated. I, you know, on paper, I check all the boxes. But I became Peter plus because the plus was the belief that being me was insufficient. Wasn't, wasn't enough to be me. And because of the significance that I saw in the relationship, it's like, I've got to be me and then some. Right? Can everyone relate to that? Can you see perhaps in your own life where there's arenas that you do that?

• 21:47Speaker 00

  And so what happened is like I say, that fear will break its own heart. Right? So the mechanism that drives the extra sort of attention and resources that you apply to something is really being driven by an underlying concern. In my case, unbeknownst to me, I was scared of her leaving me. Right? Now, no one would begrudge me that because those of you don't know my story, my mom died when I was seven. My dad died when I was seventeen. And my dad particularly, my mom had been sick for a while. She had cancer. But my dad went to work one day, he worked on the boats from England to Belgium, England to France. Boat capsized, almost two hundred people died, like a significant tragedy that was obviously not predicted. So there was a serious degree of like trauma, even at, I was seventeen. And so unbeknownst to me at that moment, these defining moments to start to curate the evidence

• 22:32Speaker 00

  for why I should be a human who orients around the fear of loss. It wasn't until like ten years later or whatever, that I met this person for whom that gets reignited. That's the beauty of life, right? One of my more popular quotes is I say, "Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free." Right? So if you really get that, we look at life as like, oh, I hate this. This person pisses me off. But the reorientation from my perspective is no, that's an opportunity to see where you're saying you can't be with something. If you understand that you're inordinately powerful, there's nothing that you can't handle, then you're no longer triggered, which is obviously a very popular word here in LA. But it's really that you're, you're being offered the opportunity to see where you haven't yet garnered your sense of own true freedom. Does that make sense?

• 23:16Speaker 00

  So in this relationship, I was playing the role of the perfect boyfriend, which was a coping strategy built on top of a foundation of fear of loss. Right? So makes sense, right? If I'm scared of loss, what do you do? You try to nurture, cherish, you know, hold on to as tightly as you can, but subtly not be too much. All, all the nuances of being human. And as I said, fear will break its own heart. So eventually the best thing that happened to me is that she did leave. She, you know, she came up to me one day, literally, this was, you know, we'd had a beautiful journey. We traveled around the world at the time I was training a couple of actors. So I was getting to travel. She came with me. We had a great time. I didn't think there was anything wrong. And she said, you know, I've got to go. Your love is suffocating.

• 23:58Speaker 00

  And whilst I could understand the, you know, what she was sort of pointing towards, I really didn't think that was a fucking problem when most people are struggling to get love. I'm like, really? So what you're basically saying is I've got too much love. Like, I really am a bit confused here. But anyway, so sure enough, she left. I fell apart, fast track. You know, like probably six, seven weeks later, we spoke for a few weeks, logistics, send this. You know, I've left this, do that, whatever. And then I really went through sort of a rite of passage, you know, sort of dark nights to the soul, where I was incessantly asking these questions of like, where is she? Is she dating someone else? Will I see her again? Will I find love like her again? All of these sort of desperate men doing desperate things. I wasn't doing desperate things, but I was certainly having desperate thoughts.

• 24:39Speaker 00

  And for whatever reasons, the way that my mind is orchestrated, or call it karma or dumb luck. You know, I was sitting in a rent control apartment with everything that I possessed in this small room at my Ikea desk. And I suddenly on the back of these questions, got the answer to all three of like, where is she? Will I see her again? Is she dating someone? And will I find love like that again? And it was three words. It was, I don't know. And it was so categorically simple because it was just the truth. Right? It was nothing to do with my subjective desire to try and figure out what was going to happen, which is a mechanism to seek security, right? Like I'm, it was my ego trying to know that it was going to be okay. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know where she is. I don't know if she's dating anyone. I don't know if I'll see her again.

• 25:23Speaker 00

  And I don't know if I'll find love like that again. And the freedom that cascaded through my body was something that I didn't know was possible. And at that same moment, the revelation about the nature of life, the future, the life itself as a paradigm that we live in is uncertainty. That's its nature. Just like if I put my hand over the flames, like we all know that that's going to be hot. It's intrinsic, right? It's not going to suddenly in a week be, oh, that's funny. Fire became cold, right? Like it's hot. Life is uncertain. And at that moment, I recognized the paradox of what it is to be human, which is in the survival mechanism that we talked about. You're always trying to calculate, figure out, you know, predict, speculate what's going to happen as a means of survival. And so that was my means built on top of a deep foundation of the fear of loss.

• 26:06Speaker 00

  But at that moment, I reconciled everything. I was like, we never fucking know. I didn't know that I was going to have this conversation. I mean, I know I was going to show up. I didn't know what I was going to say. I didn't know the questions he was going to ask. And really it gave me this sense of like profound freedom and confidence that life is uncertain. And for the first time in my life, not only did I see that, but I was totally okay with it. I no longer had, can you imagine? Just try and find that in yourself right now. If you can really be honest, like what are you struggling with in life right now? I guarantee you underneath it, there is some mechanism where you're wanting to know what happens. Yes? Can you see that? Can you find that? Are your kids going to be okay? Are they going to find love? Are they, you know, going to avoid drugs in school, like whatever, if you're parents? So your, is your relationship going to work out?

• 26:50Speaker 00

  Are your parents in hospice right now? Are they going to be cured? Like whatever you're dealing with, am I going to keep my job? And am I going to make money? And my stock's going to be okay? Like it's this constant incessant trying to figure out. And that to me is one of the biggest precursors to sickness that we see with people. The dis-ease, the absence of ease. And so that was the biggest moment. Like from that moment, I literally stepped into a new world, which is why I created 2.0 world, where I realized the mechanism by which humans are driven is itself an incessant journey of perpetual trying to survive. And I just, I was done. So, you know, if you're into that kind of shit, like it's pretty cool. I recommend it. So that was the big moment. And then there's obviously been refinements along the way.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  Like there's certain things that have still come up as I've grown and evolved. You know, there's sort of, it's like Michelangelo. When he was asked, how did he create this beautiful sculpture of David, right? Out of a big lump of marble? He said, I didn't. David was already in there. I chipped away everything that wasn't David, which is a beautiful metaphor. So for me, these were big blocks, right? But I would say now in the work that I do, and I've known Andre for years. You know, we've had beautiful conversations on and off air. It was really now I feel like I'm working on eyelashes, you know, the subtle nuances around the nostrils. And like, there's always stuff to, you know, I'm not walking on water yet. So there's still some shit to do, you know? Can you see me? I'm supposed to be invisible right now. I say, not working, right?

• 28:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, so that was, that was a very profound moment. And, and, and to speak to quantum and understanding the unity consciousness that I'm teaching, how everything is interconnected in the universe that people live right now as a separate entity trying to survive. And one of my quotes again, I say, as long as you think you're a separate self, you have no choice but to survive, right? It's, it's, there's no choice, underlined. But in unity conscious, when you're connected to everything, what was so profound is within 15 minutes of me having this revelation, my phone rings and she calls me. And I haven't spoken to her for six weeks, right? The first week was just desperate, waiting, hoping to hear like, okay, let's try it again. Let's get counseling, I'm coming back, something right that would placate the fear of the loss and the devastation, like was all dramatic and ego. I wasn't dramatic, but the energy is.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  And at that moment she calls and she couldn't be further away. I was here in LA when I lived here and she was literally on, it was the Antipode. She was in Australia. So talk about entanglement theory, right? Cause I realized at the moment, unbeknownst to her, she's just crying and she's saying, I miss you so much. And what I got in that moment is I'm finally available to her. Cause before I was in a relationship with my fear, not her. And if you really get that, that's a very profound distinction that most people aren't in relationships. They're in a relationship, they're in the form of it, married, partner, girlfriend, fiance, boyfriend, whatever. But to be in relationship is to be in harmony with life itself. And at that moment, I realized I'd never actually been in a relationship energetically

• 29:41Speaker 00

  fully intimate with her because I was too preoccupied with the concern that she might leave, even though she was there. That's the insanity of being human, right? So that was pretty cool. Sorry, am I boring you?

• 29:54André Duqum?

  No, so beautiful, man. Thank you for sharing.

• 29:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 29:57André Duqum?

  The, uh, that insight you shared around your own process of gaining awareness to a blind spot of how you were being in relationship with this idea of yourself.

• 30:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:08André Duqum?

  And the, therefore the behavioral compensations that stem from that.

• 30:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:13André Duqum?

  Is at, in the moment, so painful, but also on the other side of the coin, so liberating because you realize how you're living life through this narration of self and this lens of identity that is ultimately disempowering and fit and, and not supporting you to make real contact with the people in life.

• 30:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:33André Duqum?

  The, uh, and this is like one of my strongest values, you know, to see clearly, what does it mean in life to see life as it is?

• 30:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:41André Duqum?

  And not just through my own color tinted glasses, right? We're always going to, just like our perceptual system is set up as a human being to see life a certain way, right? An octopus has a completely different experience because of its sensory system. A bat has a completely different experience internally. What is that internal quality like? And the way that you, you beautifully articulate the way that these behavioral mechanisms and compensations are set up, often early on in childhood, um, set a framework and a stage to then examine what is the purpose of them? Which in many ways you've shared is to what become, feel safe?

• 31:18Speaker 00

  Fundamentally, yeah. Your nervous system is like the primordial imperative of any nervous system, which is what we're really relating to, right? Like ultimately you're feeling the experiences of your own chemistry and your own perception, right? There's events, circumstance, what we call the three dimensional reality, but then ultimately what you're experiencing is the way that you relate to it, your interpretation of it. So that nervous system's primordial imperative is, yeah, to keep you alive.

• 31:44André Duqum?

  I need you to say primordial imperative five times fast.

• 31:47Speaker 00

  It's two O's, primordial.

• 31:50André Duqum?

  So in, in many ways you see like, that's kind of the game we're here to play.

• 31:54Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 31:55André Duqum?

  Cosmic hide and seek, a phrase we both like.

• 31:58Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 31:59André Duqum?

  And, um, now we've been doing all sorts of things, right? We've been doing breath work as a collective. We've been having so many connection exercises and things have come up, right? Patterns that you didn't realize were running the show to a certain degree.

• 32:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:15André Duqum?

  And that moment of insight is beautiful. And what I feel like personally is so supportive in those insights coming to fruition is the right environment to be present.

• 32:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:24André Duqum?

  And so for you, what do you think is the right environment that we can all cultivate in our life for these insights and for these realizations and the dissolution of self and the unhelpful structures in our identity to, to be dissolved? What is the environment that you set up in your life and the way that you live, um, and the way that you see things to be able to find these blind spots?

• 32:47Speaker 00

  So I would say if you're doing it as a conscious process is one word, right? You want to find a place that feels safe. That's a conscious process. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that gracefully. Typically it's going to be a traumatic experience, right? So, you know, when push comes to shove is usually like, we take a, just an everyday benign example, which probably happened in the millions, you know, somewhere around the world. Somebody went to see a GP and they did their blood annual tests and they've got high cholesterol. And so the doctor doing his job, paid by Big Pharma, you know, his, um, for sake of not losing his license, malpractice, has to prescribe statins, right? This is the world that we sadly live in. So that human being at that moment, there's not sufficient trauma, right?

• 33:30Speaker 00

  So he's in a space, trusted doctor, white lab coat, stethoscope, blah, blah, blah. Here, go to your CVS and get your drugs, right? So, and there may be, hopefully if the doctor has any sort of, sort of sense of integrity, there may be a, you know, is not allowed to, but perhaps say, hey, and you might want to just cut out the ins and outs and the drinking and maybe change a bit of diet and lifestyle. But otherwise, let's say the same guy goes back in two or three years, cholesterol continues to go up, we've got to change your formula, we've got to up the drugs, right? There's a linear progression, which in this case is a degenerative process. But there's still not sufficient trauma in order for somebody to like really look at their own patterns. So this is sort of the less ideal, not curated route, right? Which is eventually, just to take this hypothetical further, the same guy, five years from now

• 34:14Speaker 00

  has a heart attack. There's been signs in Ayurveda, which is one of the things that I teach, where you have six stages of disease. Stage five is really when people go and see a doctor, right? Like, you, you know, you are fundamentally at the 85th percentile of like the whole process, right? If you become sufficiently aware and sensitive to your own body, those subtle signs at the beginning of accumulation, aggravation are the things you want to pay attention to. But for most people, they need a big, you know, two by four around the face to get the wake up call. So the heart attack is perhaps hopefully sufficient for him to say, holy shit, I really got to make some changes. So that's one of the ways, but really let's focus on the former, just because of the current audience, is you just want to find a safe space, right?

• 34:56Speaker 00

  Where you can feel sufficiently calm, relaxed and accepted, that you're no longer in the, this sort of default setting of self-consciousness, which is really self-preservation. Cause if you're in any form of defense, like people say, dude, like you must see patterns everywhere. And I'm like, yes. But like the matrix, like I'm sure everyone here has seen the matrix multiple times, you know, everybody has the potential to be an agent, right? Does anyone understand the reference I'm making, right? So when Neo or any of the kind of free souls are running away from agents, you walking, there's one scene I remember and most people, you know, can remember it because it's quite dramatic. He's running through a farmer's market or something and some guy's on the phone.

• 35:39Speaker 00

  And then, you know, you see him as a normal person on the phone, but then because Neo ran past, the guy suddenly becomes an agent, right? And he's trying to catch him or he walks, he runs through this apartment and it's a woman cutting bread with a knife. And then you cut back and she's an agent throwing the knife, right? You following the scenes? So that, that aspect to me, why the film is so brilliant, because it's three decades old, it's crazy, but really everybody has the capacity to be that energy of self-preservation. So in any kind of environment where you feel self-conscious and even at, you know, stages of feeling threatened, to access that is, is not possible. So curated, chosen, talk to people you know, love you.

• 36:21Speaker 00

  And that's where you can start to be sufficiently vulnerable. Otherwise it's going to be the more, you know, tragic, dramatic, suffering induced way of wake up call. But, you know, now I think most people with these conversations, especially through this, this guy's beautiful show, podcast, all the conversations people are becoming aware of, you know, it's like we're getting understanding, we're getting these insights. We're like, wait a minute, that actually resonates. My mastermind I do, like I just did this afternoon, three month program. People's minds are just being popped left, right and center, even though I'm not talking to them because they're in a safe space. And they're like, holy shit, like, okay, the details, it's not my uncle that was abusive or my dad and mom that fought, but I can relate to that same feeling of not being safe or not being wanted.

• 37:05Speaker 00

  So hopefully through inspiration, you can start to access this, what I call 2.0 world on the other side of the constraints. But they're, they're typically the two avenues, you know? Either you have some sort of beautiful community like this, which is why these events are so cool, because I don't know what kind of conversations you're having, but hopefully you're with people who are giving you the safe space for you to tell your story sufficiently, profoundly, honestly, authentically, that you can find something even in your own declaration, right? It's like, holy shit, I've thought that about myself forever. And maybe you get a good reflection of like, yeah, I can relate to that, like, and then you start to what I say, investigate the validity of it, which is like, is it really true that you're not good enough? Like, well, my brother was a better athlete. Okay, but does that mean that you're not good enough, right?

• 37:50Speaker 00

  So that, that's the ideal space, but otherwise you've just got to, you know, face the music and trauma. Trauma, like that was my first talk at a yoga studio. Like, you know, it's like 12 people showed up. This is about 20 years ago and I think they meant, they thought it was going to be yoga. So anyway. But I, I shared, like somebody said, like, how do, how do you get to this place where you're just so like free and at peace? I said, really the best way is I hope you fall madly in love and then they break up with you and you're devastated. So there's that route too. So if any of you are madly in love, there's hope for you yet.

• 38:29André Duqum?

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• 39:13André Duqum?

  of Element's most popular flavors with any purchase. And if for any reason it's just not your vibe, they will give you a no-questions-asked full refund. You don't even have to send the product back. So just go to drinklmnt.com/knowleself to try it out. Links down in the description. I hope you enjoy. Back to the show.

• 39:32André Duqum?

  The way you described the blind spots, you know, it's funny because right, these are like the perceptual systems, the identity systems that we're looking through and as. And so it's so easy to see the faults in others. It's so easy to point out other people's patterns. So much more difficult to see our own patterns.

• 39:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:50André Duqum?

  And I've called you in moments too, you know, where usually it gets revealed in moments of definitely relationship, romantic relationship. Any like the mirror that relationships provide in general really allow this material to come up into the surface because you see where you're stuck, right? People will prevent you with people and circumstances.

• 40:10Speaker 00

  It's a river where you're not free, yeah.

• 40:11André Duqum?

  Nice. I love when we finish each other's sentences.

• 40:13Speaker 00

  We're like a couple. I thought we were getting married. Super disappointed, but.

• 40:17André Duqum?

  And we're gonna break up and you'll be more free.

• 40:19Speaker 00

  And I'm completely liberated again.

• 40:25André Duqum?

  So.

• 40:28Speaker 00

  Can we just have a moment?

• 40:30André Duqum?

  Can we have a moment, please?

• 40:31Speaker 00

  He gets like this when he gets embarrassed.

• 40:34André Duqum?

  I'm blushing. I'm blushing.

• 40:39André Duqum?

  I know I've appreciated the digs at LA throughout. Welcome. Funny enough, a lot of people from here flew all over the globe. We got Colombia, Sweden, Transylvania. Did you even know that was a place?

• 40:51Speaker 00

  What?

• 40:52André Duqum?

  It's a real place.

• 40:52Speaker 00

  It was Dracula?

• 40:53André Duqum?

  Yes. It's real. It's in Europe.

• 40:55Speaker 00

  It's real? Like the, like Bigfoot?

• 40:57André Duqum?

  Yeah, something like that.

• 40:58Speaker 00

  Bigfoot here?

• 40:59André Duqum?

  Dracula's here.

• 41:00Speaker 00

  Wow, Colombia. Who's here from Colombia? I'm not Colombian, but. Oh, okay, right, okay. At least you're male. We'll be fine.

• 41:12André Duqum?

  And so, you know, I say that to show there's obviously real commitment and devotion to doing this work, to fundamentally find a community with aligned senses of values and to discover more freedom internally in your life. So that commitment to show up and say yes is beautiful, and it's one thing. I think, I know I've struggled in my past with vulnerability in general as an umbrella. Like showing imperfection, showing the part that is not put together, showing the part, you know, that doesn't have it all figured out. And we all have our own versions of whatever that patterning is.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:51André Duqum?

  Why is it so scary at times to be vulnerable? Often, actually truly vulnerable moments across the board. Why is, why is that tough?

• 42:01Speaker 00

  I mean, first of all, I love this guy, right? Like I've worked with him, as I said, periodically. We've been friends. And like even for him to pose this question to me is so beautiful. Like, right, because the question itself is an expression of vulnerability. Can you feel that? Like, is that like, like, is that something you're recognizing? Like, so it's so beautiful because, and this is why I love love, right? Because going back to your previous question about what is the environment that we can curate or that we hope to have as safety. So vulnerability is really like, it's where you're for a minute, for a second, for hopefully a little bit longer, you're dropping the mask that is your perceived protection mechanism. And so it's scary because deep in our DNA, I mean, if you look at us in terms of certainly us here, you know, we haven't been around that long, right? Like, it wasn't that long ago

• 42:46Speaker 00

  that our DNA was truly wired for biological survival, right? What I'm talking about as survival is really psychological. It's identity. It's the curated ideas of yourself. But really biological survival was not that long ago, right? And so when you are experiencing the somatic visceral sense of vulnerability, it occurs as a potential death. Which is why, like, you know, I actually love the topic of death. Like, as happy-go-lucky as I am, like, I think it's awesome. Like, I'm always telling people the access to true life is to constantly die to the idea of yourself. So vulnerability is on the precipice of a form of death. And unless you're in a container that feels sufficiently safe, it can feel like fatalistic because it kind of is.

• 43:31Speaker 00

  So that's why it's really, we're wired, one of the prior, again, primordial. Now, every time I say that word, I'm gonna, because I'm a bit nervous about it now, so.

• 43:44André Duqum?

  Thanks for the vulnerable share.

• 43:45Speaker 00

  So I'm gonna be vulnerable.

• 43:46André Duqum?

  Yeah.

• 43:48Speaker 00

  So that sense of belonging is so hardwired, right? Which really is an energetic reflection of the underlying consciousness that is unity. But when you're looking through the lens of separation, it doesn't feel like that. So you're craving the unity that's always there. Just like, hate to, you know, break the illusion. You're always part of Source. You're always part of the gang. You don't need an American Express Black Card. You're in the humanity gang, right? And then there's the human part, which is so visceral. It feels like, yeah, but my neighbor doesn't like me. My moms and my dad, they said that I wasn't wanted. I was a mistake. The things that kids hear like are really painful, right? And so you're really up against the propensity to want to be loved, but looking from behind

• 44:33Speaker 00

  a mechanism that you've developed to be loved, right? Does that make sense? I know it's subtle. We want to be loved and accepted, but the mechanism by which we try to garner that is itself a pretense. And so that's why the whole thing is so fragile. So when you start to really let that go and you're really, really available, perhaps for some people for the very first time, it's shit scary, right? And that's okay. So, but it's also the access to true intimacy. Like, again, I write quotes and this is how I, you know, my book and all the things that I'm working on. I say, as soon as you're okay being vulnerable, you're no longer vulnerable. Again, it's one of these paradoxes, right? Those who don't want to be vulnerable are vulnerable because you're hiding something.

• 45:17Speaker 00

  Going back to the quote he asked about freedom, right? When you've got nothing to hide, prove or want for. Like, so if you've got nothing to hide, you can be like, for me, I feel, you know, and again, I'm not saying that I'm like this God's gift to like freedom, but I feel like at the bow of the boat of that for society, there may be some blind spots that are still gonna be revealed in me. And I'm happy for those to come to the surface. But otherwise, I feel like there's nothing for me to hide. You could ask the most intimate questions of me, you know, and if they're not inappropriate and I'm disrespecting other people's like, you know, confidentiality, I'll share. It's like, what are you gonna think of me? You know, it's like, the only thing that can hurt me is what I think of me. You're entitled to your opinion. So that's true vulnerability, right? Which is really fundamentally, it's a journey to true self-acceptance. So that's why it can be hard

• 46:02Speaker 00

  because vulnerability is on the other side of you not yet accepting yourself. You're outsourcing acceptance. You're, you're hoping they accept you. But as soon as you're okay with you, then vulnerability leaves the building, right? Do you follow? Because if you're okay with all of you, warts and all, there's no one here that's perfect. I hate to fucking burst your bubble, right? Like, we're all flawed. We're all fucked up. But if you're okay with that, then we've got nothing to hide. That's the beauty of humanity. Like, you know, again, when I work with so many of the best performers in the world and so many of these guys and girls who have paid millions of dollars to perform, one of their biggest obstacles is the expectation that they're some of the best in the world. And for that reason, they forget their humanity. One of my MLB guys, he won.

• 46:45Speaker 00

  It was like incredible, the MVP of the season. There's only two. I'm not gonna get into baseball, but National League, American League, one guy from each side. Like, it's the most extraordinary accolade a guy can get. And this season, he won, but at the beginning, he was scuffling. He was striking out. He was getting pissed off. He's frustrated. He's one of the best players. And I laughed and I said, dude, you know, there's just one thing that you're not making space for. And he's like, what is it? I said, that you have the capacity to suck, right? Like, you really can suck. And he's like, but dude, like, I've got one of the biggest fucking contracts in the league. I know, but that doesn't give up the fact that you have the capacity to suck. And like, he didn't want to hear it to begin with. But as soon as he made space for it, one of my quotes, I say,

• 47:29Speaker 00

  "The final stage of becoming a superhero is to embrace all of the parts of you that aren't." Right? Clark Kent has to be there with Superman, right? And so that's the vulnerability. If you can be okay with your humanity, because we're all, I mean, God, we're all so great at the perfectionistic tendencies, the behavioral adaptations, the portraying, like Andre just, you know, was admitting about himself, right? Like, very manicured, put together, beautiful guy. And many of, much of it is, could work on that a little bit, but anyway.

• 48:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, I can't, can't free all of you motherfuckers. I'd be out of business. Anyway, so the point is like, for him to be able to share that, right, is to recognize the tendency that we all have, especially in a city that is so oriented around appearance and beauty and perfectionism, that that itself becomes like a mechanism for trying to, as I said earlier, curate, garner, and get love and acceptance, not realizing that mechanism itself is the very obstacle to it. Isn't that crazy? You know, I say, please never become perfect. You'll have no one to fucking relate to. Yeah, no, no, but I'm gonna get that right. It's like, what?

• 48:44Speaker 00

  Anyway, so I hope that made sense. I didn't answer the question.

• 48:47André Duqum?

  Yeah, you answered something.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  I said something. I said something. I said a lot.

• 48:52André Duqum?

  Primordial.

• 48:52Speaker 00

  Felt good. How'd you feel? You had primordial, yeah.

• 48:54André Duqum?

  Just fall back to primordial.

• 48:58André Duqum?

  These, uh.

• 48:59Speaker 00

  These nuts.

• 49:00André Duqum?

  What? Oh. You stole the words? I'm not gonna even finish that. I know we were gonna say nice.

• 49:06Speaker 00

  I was talking about baseball. That's the only game we play. Hey, they were looking for you. Who? These nuts? Anyway, boys in locker rooms. Anyway, whatever. Sorry, ladies.

• 49:18Speaker 00

  These what?

• 49:19André Duqum?

  Love you, Peter.

• 49:20Speaker 00

  Love you, love, lovely, lovely, lovely.

• 49:27André Duqum?

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• 50:07André Duqum?

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• 50:30André Duqum?

  I find it really fascinating, like these defense mechanisms, right? We can walk around life so often defending this idea of us. And I love that, just that visual of someone coming up to you and saying all these negative words in English, which you understand, and you get offended, but in Pig Latin or Italian, it just bounces right off because you're not making meaning with what's being said.

• 50:52Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 50:53André Duqum?

  And so, to me, that is a really potent insight to also like where, when someone says something to us, or we get triggered, that instead of viewing these things as faults or bugs in our hardware, software, nervous system, as like literal opportunities to find more freedom and liberation, because it's revealing something to you.

• 51:13Speaker 00

  Absolutely. It's a gift. Yeah.

• 51:15André Duqum?

  Yeah. So, any other thoughts you have there on like defense mechanisms and how we can pay attention to those? And then perhaps we can, we can get into some with the, with the crew.

• 51:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. So again, you know, quotes come to mind because that's how I tend to channel insights. So I say, other people's words can only upset you to the degree that you already believe them. Right? So beyond the perfect example, someone's speaking Latin, Chinese, whatever you don't understand, it doesn't resonate because there's no coherence between your view of yourself and that which you're hearing, like, which I think is so ironic because I know growing up, we would always hear the expression, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me." And all I ever fucking see is people being hurt by words these days. You know? So really, again, it comes down to your capacity to listen. Where I, very early on in my revelation, on the back of that story that I told you, where I experienced true freedom for the first time,

• 52:08Speaker 00

  you know, I had a question that I would constantly orient myself around, which is, can I be with this? Right? Whatever was occurring, like, you know, in a very, very boring, mundane way, that the neighbor parked the car in my spot, something everyday boring, right? But, or person cut you off in traffic. How many of you get upset, right? Fuck you. And then you become really evolved and you're like, yeah, you think you're really smart, right? Like, no, I'm just gonna be nice. Same fucking energy. You just become more manipulative, right? But really, you're not okay with it. You're being upset. So really, yeah, it's the invitation to constantly reframe life and triggers, if that's a word that people use, or wherever you get upset in lay terms. What is it that you're not recognizing about your own inherent ability to truly be with everything?

• 52:53Speaker 00

  Right? Like, I'm not religious, but I pull tenants from all religions. For me, what's, what's coming to mind is when Jesus says, "Forgive them, Lord. They know not what they do." Advanced state of consciousness, right? Literally nails being put through his hands and feet, but his orientation is love. Don't think I'm at that level yet, right? I, you know, a mosquito lands on my neck right now, I'm probably like gonna slap the shit out of that right now. So, point is, like, what can you be with and what can't you be with in life is a way to start to recognize where you're still quote, quote, "fragile, vulnerable, or living in a state of fear." My more poetic quotes, I say, "Fear is, fear, your fears are the beacons that light your path to freedom."

• 53:36Speaker 00

  So if you can orient that way and say, rather than fears are something that we escape, which in today's society becomes increasingly easy, right? There's like, what can't you find as a substance, a distraction, the phone, the Netflix, the food, the alcohol, the weed, the drugs, there is a form of escaping and numbing suffering. But if you understand, just like physiological symptoms that I was saying earlier, and the six stages of disease, when you're subtly aware enough of your own absence or loss of perceived freedom, then that's the gift to see and harness where you have yet to discover some of your own divinity. So that's the reorientation, right? Is to recognize, I find joy now.

• 54:17Speaker 00

  Like, it might sound a little sadistic, but if I do come up again somewhere where I feel scared, worried, hurt, upset, fearful, to me, whoa, it's gold, right? Because I know that freedom is on the other side of that. Like, the subtitle of my book is, "Discover the World of Freedom, Love, and Possibility on the Other Side of Your Subconscious Limitations." So my work is not about solving problems. It's dissolution. It's a dissolving of whatever is in the way, you know, of the metaphorical spiritual six-pack, right? So that's the opportunity of fear, is that really something's being revealed in you that is currently a constraint, that is skewering your own understanding of your true divinity and your capacity to be with everything.

• 54:58Speaker 00

  So, does, does that help you reorient? Can now some of you even look at your own circumstances in life and go, wait a minute, here's a gift? Yeah? No?

• 55:12Speaker 00

  I love the engagement.

• 55:17André Duqum?

  The, it's, I think what's really powerful is actually see it in action.

• 55:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:22André Duqum?

  Because it's one thing to say it, and it's another thing to vulnerably share what a pattern is. And there's always this like beautiful flip, and there's a moment when it hits and the insight hits of how it's been serving you and protecting you in a way that you can finally release once you see through.

• 55:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:42André Duqum?

  So, it's a vulnerable ask, but if anybody has a pattern that keeps reoccurring in their life, a cycle that keeps coming back into their life, something they're struggling with,

• 55:56André Duqum?

  as opposed to a question, I would love if you could speak from your first-person experience. And you just raise your hand and we'll pass you a mic. I believe you were the first. Who we got back there? Kalin?

• 56:08Speaker 00

  Kalin. I don't bite. I'm very loving.

• 56:11André Duqum?

  You wanna maybe come out over here? That'd be cool?

• 56:15Speaker 00

  I promise I won't hurt you more than you've already been hurting yourself.

• 56:20André Duqum?

  Oh, wow. This is the Dracula.

• 56:22Speaker 00

  Oh, okay. Here we go. Let's go. What you got?

• 56:27Speaker 04

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• 56:57Speaker 05

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• 57:20Speaker 00

  Bring out the fangs. Hi.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 57:23Speaker 00

  What's your name?

• 57:24Speaker 02

  I'm Kalin.

• 57:24Speaker 00

  Kalin. Nice to meet you.

• 57:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. Talking about defense mechanism, the one that I, that I, my sword is my humor. And Andre has done an incredible job, and the other workshop, to make me cry and feel all of my emotions that by the time I get to dinner, I can only crack jokes.

• 57:44Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 57:46Speaker 02

  So, here's the question.

• 57:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  There's part of me that is striving in life, you know? I've changed something. I'm doing something that I'm more aligned with. And like, I finally feel that I'm, I'm going in the right direction and the sale is behind me.

• 58:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  But I'm not there yet in terms of generating revenue, in terms of...

• 58:11Speaker 00

  Right.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  So, there's another part of me that is like still, you know, fighting for survival. There's, there's, I need to pay rent, right? Another job that I have, let's call it my Uber driver job.

• 58:24Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:26Speaker 02

  And that, that Uber driver job is, is, is, is, the way it shows up, it's very compulsive. Like, I, I need to make this money because otherwise I'm not gonna, I'm gonna pay rent.

• 58:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  And I want to do more of the other job that feels fun and aligned with me.

• 58:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  But like, the practical reality is pushing me into the fear of, how am I gonna pay rent? Like, I need to, I need to grind through this other job to be able to do this. And, and so I'm struggling to versions of me. And like, the one, the Uber one is, is kind of sort of pulling me down.

• 59:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:09Speaker 02

  How can I?

• 59:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. How can I let go of, of this? Or like, I don't know.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  I wanna do more of the other job. I want life to be easier. I don't wanna struggle that much through life.

• 59:26Speaker 00

  Good.

• 59:28André Duqum?

  Reasonable.

• 59:29Speaker 00

  So you're trying to tell me you're lazy?

• 59:32Speaker 02

  On the contrary.

• 59:34Speaker 00

  No, I get it. So first of all, thank you. So like, who can relate to, in your own world, something akin to that? Right? There's something that you're doing that you don't kinda like, that in his terms pushes him into fear. And then there's something that you're more passionate about, someone, some whatever, right? That's, I would say, a pretty everyday example. So what's always the attal for me is the way that he speaks. He started with that Andre makes me cry. Now, it was a joke. I get the context of the joke.

• 1:00:02André Duqum?

  No, it was true. It was hard.

• 1:00:05Speaker 00

  Don't interrupt.

• 1:00:08Speaker 00

  Not married yet. I can fucking cool this whole thing off.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  Thank you, Andre.

• 1:00:14André Duqum?

  Love you, my Dracula.

• 1:00:17Speaker 00

  So what I hear immediately, because I wanna take you through part of the process of what's going on in my mind. Would that be fascinating to see? So.

• 1:00:27Speaker 00

  I'll cut out the X-rated parts. So already, what I can hear is that very much to do with what I was explaining earlier. The 1.0 orientation is that... How do you pronounce your name again? Sorry.

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  Kalin.

• 1:00:41Speaker 00

  Kalin, okay. So Kalin is very much in a very normal, factory default setting of what it is to be a human, which he's outsourcing his experiences. He used language, Andre made me cry. Subtle for most of you, but that's what happened. But if you listen to the way he speaks, within the first five seconds of him introducing himself, I know that he's under the impression that he feels the way he feels because of events. Does that make sense? Now, that's normal. That's how you, you know, it's the biggest illusion of being human, is I feel the way I feel because, right? That, because, fill in the blank. Well, I'm depressed because. I'm upset because my mom, my dad, whatever, they're having an argument.

• 1:01:23Speaker 00

  So immediately, I can hear that this guy doesn't understand how powerful he is. Which then immediately, without even me saying anything, I know that he's probably gonna struggle with his ability to self-express, which is usually manifested for the masculine in some sort of security, which is associated with finance. This is before he's even gone into his story. I don't know that he does Uber. He also said that Uber then pushes him to fear more external. He's outsourcing his way of feeling. So he would want to do the other thing, cuz he loves that more. So now, he's telling me that he has no domain, no sovereignty. I want to do the other thing. Like, is someone holding a gun against his head? No, his own fear of survival is the perceived obstacle to him being able to make choice.

• 1:02:05Speaker 00

  So now, what I hear is a little boy who perhaps didn't have too much domain in his ability to make choices. Again, like, I'm extrapolating, right? So what I'd like to hear from Kalin a little bit is like, what was his childhood like? Because I hear already an absence of power. I don't hear abuse. I don't hear harm. I don't hear like, lack of real self-worth. But there's absence of power. So anything that I've shared that resonates? Or tell me some of the incidences you went through as a kid, where maybe you were starting to feel some of the things I'm talking about? And it's okay if they weren't, but again, I'm, I'm making assumptions.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  Yes, so I grew up in a household where, yeah, I wasn't allowed to feel powerful, right? I grew up with a mom that was always right, right? So it was love and it was a, you know, a gentle upbringing, but I never won an argument.

• 1:03:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  And whenever I won an argument, you know, I would create upset, uh, because I won the argument.

• 1:03:08Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  So, yeah.

• 1:03:10Speaker 00

  Perfect. So, right, so I was tracking, right? So I could have maybe guessed that. I might have gone lean towards the dad. But either way, I can feel a kid who was taught the language of behavior. He's a nice guy, you know? He's very polite, he's articulate, like, he's learned the attributes of being somebody who conforms. So conformity is another form of survival. So now, what I hear, because of what he's just shared, is that he could never win an argument. So now, he's being taught that he has no, uh, power is the real word, right? Like, that he doesn't have his ability, and it's also double-sided, right? Because when he did, there would be upset, what he just shared. So now, he's learned that mostly, he doesn't have any say.

• 1:03:52Speaker 00

  But when he does, there's the fear of consequences. Nice guy, I don't wanna do anything to upset anybody. So think about this as the masculine, the divine masculine. He wants to impact change, whatever his industry or business is that he's passionate about, which as I'm asserting, without knowing it, is gonna be something that has, makes a difference. But who he is energetically is somebody who's not allowed to make a difference. Can you immediately see the conflict? So his oriented, his nervous system is, don't do anything that's gonna upset people. But if you're a real masculine, I hate to say this, you're gonna upset the apple cart, right? Like, if you're really committed to purpose, then you are really oriented about making change.

• 1:04:34Speaker 00

  But his nervous system is like, so he's got one foot on the brake, ironic as an Uber driver, and one on the accelerator, right? Which is like, I wanna do this, but I can't. So that's where friction. How old are you?

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  I'm 39.

• 1:04:47Speaker 00

  39, okay, great. Do you have any kind of physical ailments at this point? Anything that you struggle with your body?

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  Okay, great. So he's got good constitution. I would give him another decade. It's not gonna happen now, cuz we're changing timelines. So he's gonna have a different future by virtue of this conversation. If he'd stayed on this trajectory... Are you married?

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  I'm not.

• 1:05:06Speaker 00

  Okay. So whatever his relationships, and again, that would have been a guess that I'd make, because again, his masculine, his energetic masculine is compromised. He's really a grown man who's 39, but looking through the nervous system of a boy who doesn't wanna upset the apple cart, right? So can you start to feel the disparity between conscious intention, but energetic visceral like blockages? Does that, are you seeing that? So I understand with your mom, are your parents still alive?

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  They are, yes.

• 1:05:36Speaker 00

  Okay, and what is your relationship right now, especially with your mom?

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're on good terms. I think we're...

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  There was a moment in my relationship with my mom, where my mom started speaking to me and she said, "You know what? For most of my life, I told you that I was right. I'm now shutting up because I feel like there's a lot of wisdom that I get from you. So I'm gonna listen to you."

• 1:06:04Speaker 00

  Okay, great. So that's an invitation where life is actually like, now trying to encourage him to say, it's okay, it's safe, right? Again, all of these things happen magically. It's not really his mom, I would say. Forget about the personification, not falling in love with someone. Somebody is the inspiration and the catalyst for the love that you discover inside of yourself. So that's an invitation, life through his mom, which was the previous, you know, adversary for him, is now saying, no, it's okay, you can come out to play. So this is perfect timing. When did that conversation happen?

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  Uh, over the last, probably two years ago.

• 1:06:35Speaker 00

  Okay, great. And have you noticed within yourself since that conversation, any kind of shifts in your behavior? Your demeanor, life, opportunities, anything? Doesn't have to be significant, but...

• 1:06:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, and, yeah, it's been, it's gradual change over the last two years and me not, you know, casting myself as the victim of my own destiny and just stepping into the things I wanted to do.

• 1:06:59Speaker 00

  See, what I said at the beginning, going back to my first statement, that he said Andre made me cry. He's still outsourcing, which is why he hasn't tapped into the power. He needed his mom. Boy, mom, you know, girl, dad, very simple dynamics that typically inform us. So he's still unbeknownst to him, that I'm giving him now, being informed by whether his mom gives him permission or not to be who he wants to be. Can you see that? Can any of you relate to that in your own relationships? Whether it be, yeah, okay, thank you for participating. Yeah, so this is beautiful. So you obviously have a, for me, karmically, you're being given light lessons. It's nothing too dramatic. You're 39, you're healthy, it sounds like, you know, relationships, you know, is gonna be interesting for you.

• 1:07:42Speaker 00

  And that would be the next evolution for you, is to actually embody the divine feminine as part of your existence? Cuz right now, you're not wired to hold space for that, right? Does that make sense? So meaning like...

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, so have you struggled in relationships before?

• 1:07:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have.

• 1:07:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, so because his orientation is, he doesn't wanna upset the feminine. Good luck with that in a relationship with a woman, right? The woman's asking for you to accept her upset, right? I had a guy that I worked with at my live event, he came back to the one last night, but I'd worked with him previously. He, and I'll come back to you, Kalin, this is all gonna help you, okay? I promise you, this is a segue that is for your benefit. So he, when he was eight, he and his brother asked his dad to take him out. You know, just they wanted to go out, they're eight-year-olds. And so they went out, and then 30, 40 minutes after they left the house, the dad picks up a girlfriend. He's married, right? So this is like, oops, this is strange. So they go about their day, and then they come back.

• 1:08:40Speaker 00

  And this is a grown man who's now 57, 58, at a live event in front of a few hundred people. And he said, you know, "So I came back, and when we got home, we dropped off the girlfriend, and my dad said, 'Don't tell your mom.'"

• 1:08:54Speaker 00

  Right? Just feel that, right? Like, the pressure that's being put on an eight-year-old boy through the cowardice of a grown-ass man who's not in a relationship, as I said earlier. He's in a relationship with his own lies. The boy, who's now a grown man in my seminar, he runs straight into the house and tells the mom.

• 1:09:15Speaker 00

  And you can imagine, so now what he was struggling with, which is anxiety, a feeling of like he's worthless, like fundamentally, what I come down to these like primordial conversations about how you define yourself, for him, it's all his fault. They got divorced about a month later, and of course, the eight-year-old, what does he decide? It's my fault. If I hadn't told mom, right? So here he is now, literally fifty years later, still living inside of a nervous system, which is trying desperately not to do anything wrong or upset anyone. The obvious association with his fear was that he pissed off his dad. They were going to the fun fair a few, about a month later, they were in the car, he said, I'll never forget, I'm sitting in the backseat with my brother, my dad looks around and says, we're getting divorced, and looked straight at him.

• 1:10:00Speaker 00

  So for fifty years, five decades, you know, he's pretty strong, he's built like an ox, but he'd had all sorts of surgeries and issues, which is where things are falling apart, the energetic precursor to your anatomy, obviously starting to feel in a state of dis-ease. But when I sat there, I thought the obvious one was he pissed off his dad. But what actually got revealed in the conversation was beautiful, because he said, yeah, I said, so I of course helped him see, is it your fault? Like, is it, and he felt, yes. I said, no, but is it truly your fault? At eight? And he's like, no, of course it's not. Who could you be in the absence of that? Like, you could just see his face light up, he's like, holy shit, finally free, right? But he gave us a little anecdote at the end, he said, and I decided at that moment, I'd never put that look on a woman's face again.

• 1:10:43Speaker 00

  And that was the goal, because he realizes, an eight-year-old, you can imagine, right? An eight-year-old, the boys and the dad and the husband have been out, hopefully, hopefully she's at home cooking a lovely meal to have all her boys come home, and she finds out that the husband's cheating. You can imagine, you women particularly, what that might have elicited as an expression. And that little boy, it was almost blazoned into his mind, I will never put that look on a woman's face. And I said to him, I hope you do. Not because I want you to upset anyone, but because I want you to become sufficient enough of a man that you can hold space for a woman to have any emotion she needs. And that changed, he said, holy shit, I was married for twelve years, I could never be with, he said, if my wife got upset and we went to bed angry, I would just like, try

• 1:11:28Speaker 00

  to just touch her, like that, like, I just wanna know that we're okay. Can you feel that, like a grown ass man? So I share that for you, my friend, because there's a part of your nervous system that's oriented that way, which is you're wired to not upset anyone. Now, if you look at it beyond relationships, you look at it as a business, I don't know what your venture is, it doesn't matter, if you're gonna create a business that is worth anything, you have to disrupt something. Do you see that?

• 1:11:54Speaker 02

  Yep, I do.

• 1:11:56Speaker 00

  So what I want you to consider is that currently, the way you're oriented doesn't allow you to be successful in life, in finance, in relationships, doesn't make you a bad person, you're a sweetheart. But the invitation is to see what is the lie you're living behind, which is that you mustn't upset anyone.

• 1:12:16Speaker 04

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• 1:12:47Speaker 05

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• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  Can you, can you feel that?

• 1:13:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, um, it's present, because I've felt it. Every time someone else upsets anyone else, my nervous system reacts, it was like, oh, you've been too harsh to the other person.

• 1:13:24Speaker 00

  Do you see how, like, it's so subtle, it's not even him that has to do it, it's so sensitive, which will make him a nice guy, he's lovely. Anyone who's spoken to him in the last day or two, oh, he's so, Kalin is so nice. Not gonna become a fucking billionaire, though.

• 1:13:40Speaker 02

  I'm also a fucking badass.

• 1:13:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay, there he is, there he is, that's waiting for that to come out, yeah, let's go, what you got?

• 1:13:49Speaker 02

  I've got everything.

• 1:13:50Speaker 00

  You do?

• 1:13:50Speaker 02

  I'm really worried about outhumoring you.

• 1:13:55Speaker 00

  Delusional too.

• 1:13:58Speaker 00

  Got a long way to go, buddy.

• 1:14:00Speaker 02

  I know, but I'm, I'm, I'm planning to walk on water.

• 1:14:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay, good, let me know when that happens, see if you can just date a woman first.

• 1:14:12Speaker 00

  Let's see, I will go toe-to-toe with this guy, I want, I want this, I want him to find that, like, right, that chutzpah, tap into that root fucking chakra. So, is it true, if you look at what I just shared, if I were to cut you open, am I gonna find a manufacturing label that says, Kalin, like, he can't upset people? Is that part of your makeup, physiologically?

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  I think it was, up until recently.

• 1:14:36Speaker 00

  But not physically, I'm, stay with the language, right? Like, is it true as part, if I cut you open, I'm being quite, right? Am I gonna find a physical manufacturing label inside your body that says that you're not allowed to upset anyone? Yes or no?

• 1:14:52Speaker 02

  Not anymore.

• 1:14:53Speaker 00

  But there was one before?

• 1:14:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:14:56Speaker 00

  Well, you fucking get this guy to a medic.

• 1:14:59Speaker 00

  Listen, be in the conversation with me, right? Like, I know we're playing and you've got a great sense of humor, but that's also, as you said, you realize, is one of the ways you protect yourself. Now, we're getting into the nitty-gritty, right? I want you to be with me. Your capacity to make impact is inextricably connected to your ability to be present.

• 1:15:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:15:17Speaker 00

  When you're living in a world where you're protecting yourself, your ability to be present, which is imperative when you're with a woman, because if that little boy gets triggered, you've, you're not there anymore, and she'll feel that immediately, right? So now, this is the mano-a-mano, right? I'm here with you because I fucking care, and I see an extraordinary man who's waiting to access the power that is your divine right. So if I cut you open, stay in the conversation, am I gonna find a physical manufacturing label made of wood, metal, or plastic that says, Kalin, he's not allowed to upset anyone?

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, probably.

• 1:15:50Speaker 00

  Okay, dude, you're doing great, you're in front of everyone, you're the first one, you're in the hot seat.

• 1:15:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:15:55Speaker 00

  If I cut you open, let's just stay away from the manufacturing label. If I cut you open, what am I gonna find? Give me some example.

• 1:16:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're gonna find my organs, you're gonna find my liver, you're gonna find my everything else, right?

• 1:16:06Speaker 00

  Okay, am I gonna find a physical manufacturing label made of wood, plastic, or metal that says, Kalin, he's not allowed to upset anyone?

• 1:16:13Speaker 02

  No, you're not.

• 1:16:14Speaker 00

  Okay, great, right? Do you see the difference, right? So where but you see that it informs the way that you think, feel, and act, right? That lens, that perspective, right? You're looking through the, even people who are being mean to somebody else, it triggers something in you, that's how sensitive that particular orientation is for you.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:31Speaker 00

  Yes?

• 1:16:32Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:16:33Speaker 00

  So if it's not part of your hardware, if somebody knew how to read the genome, we could go down to the chromosome, that's hardware, that would discern, I can't see from now, why your eyes are the color your eyes are, why you have the height, right? That's part of the genetic code, that's hardware. So where does the, you're not allowed to hurt anyone, or be right about something, or impact, or make change, or upset anyone, where does that live? Where is it?

• 1:16:58Speaker 02

  Constructed in my mind.

• 1:16:59Speaker 00

  Correct, it's a lens you look through, it's an orientation, it's a perspective, right? If it's a perspective, if it's a lens you look through, can it be who you are? Is it literally who Kalin is?

• 1:17:12Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:17:13Speaker 00

  No? Awesome. Now, so it's made up, it's a lens, it's an orientation, here's a trick question, I'm gonna preempt it as trick, if you were born with blue-tinted glasses on, how would everything look?

• 1:17:30Speaker 02

  Blue?

• 1:17:31Speaker 00

  Right, that's the trick, if you were born with blue-tinted glasses on, it would look normal.

• 1:17:36Speaker 02

  Ah, yes.

• 1:17:38Speaker 00

  Right? So you're normal, which is how you are, like, oriented to the world, is, don't do anything to upset anyone.

• 1:17:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:17:48Speaker 00

  Now, we're revealing it, we're lifting, you don't see the blue until you lift the blue up, right? So the lens that you look through, which also informs the way you think, feel, your nervous system, the way you behave, nice guy, you know, there is a dormant badass, I get that, and we're gonna make him much more present, but if you look through that, how does that impact your life? If you're looking through, I can't really make change, I can't upset people, don't do anything wrong, how could, how does that hit you as you look at that? If that's the way that you relate to life, not always, but as a predominant theme, what does that cost you?

• 1:18:23Speaker 02

  It's disempowering, I don't go for the big swings, I don't do what I want, I don't pursue my biggest and wildest dreams.

• 1:18:31Speaker 00

  And how did you start this whole conversation with me? What was your main bugaboo? What is your problem?

• 1:18:39Speaker 02

  Death.

• 1:18:41Speaker 00

  Based on what you just said, you've got these two things, right?

• 1:18:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:46Speaker 00

  Which are really, the fundamental context is that you're not pursuing the big things, you're not pursuing what you want.

• 1:18:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:52Speaker 00

  And we just came to the source of it, you can't, if you look, literally, you can't, if you're looking through the lens of, don't do anything wrong, don't upset people, how are you gonna impact change? Do you, can you make the connection? Is everyone following? Can you see the connection?

• 1:19:07Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:19:08Speaker 00

  You're a man, right? Your divinity as a masculine is to make change, is to transform. From what I can tell, you're a fire type in Ayurveda. Like, to transform is your gift. But when you're being informed by the mindset of a boy who's scared to do anything wrong, as you said correctly, it's completely disempowering. I said, we're in the arena of power with you. I felt it immediately. You're outsourcing your experience of life. That's the most disempowering way to... I feel the way I feel because... Now, fortunately, life created two years ago at least some sort of up-leveling, a slight upgrade to your experience because your mom said that she wants to listen to your wisdom and whatever she shared. That was a little invitation for you to come out of your cage.

• 1:19:51Speaker 00

  But I'm like saying, fuck it, blow the cage open. I don't give a shit if you drive an Uber ever again. Because on the other side of you not doing that, all there is is a fear that you're gonna do something wrong, make a mistake or not be okay. Can you feel that?

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can.

• 1:20:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's survival. So you have a choice. You either live or you survive. I guarantee you, if you get... I'm not telling you to give up your quote-unquote, whatever you perceive as security, which is completely illusory. All it's actually securing is your own story that you can't be fucking phenomenally powerful. Right? That's what you're actually securing. It's not finances. I don't know what you make as an Uber driver, but I'm guaranteeing it's not what you want. But it is sustaining the illusion. That's the only security you've got is maintaining your fear. That's what you're feeding. That's what you're investing in. Doesn't make you a bad person, but how long are you gonna keep doing that? Like, to me, like, I literally ended my mastermind today with somebody who was doing something very similar.

• 1:20:51Speaker 00

  He was told as a young boy that he was too gregarious. He was too excited about life. He was actually too talented. Calm down because we don't want to upset your sister. Two years younger because she was a bit more fragile. He now, talking to me, 51-year-old man, is wondering why he sort of feels a little bit like bored in life. And he's not playing his sport with badminton and his business isn't quite doing... I'm like, because you've been told that being you is not... You're not allowed to be you. Do you feel that? Like, you're you, but you're not allowed to be you. Go and have fun. Right? You're powerful, but you're not allowed to make any kind of change or upset anybody. Do you see the conflict?

• 1:21:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:21:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. So, again, I'm not telling you. I'm not in the instruction business. I'm not an expert. But my invitation is for you to consider that your story about Uber has some sort of security. The only thing that you're securing is your own limitations.

• 1:21:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, fuck that.

• 1:21:52Speaker 00

  What's that?

• 1:21:52Speaker 02

  I said, fuck that. I'm not gonna do that.

• 1:21:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay, no. Because playing it safe is the riskiest way to live and he's playing it safe through no fault of his own. I'm... This is tough love, right? Like, I'm appealing to the man who's waiting to be born. There was someone in my live event last night who'd had chronic pain in his back for 10 years, which is a lie. No one's got chronic anything. You've just got a memory that makes it sort of more significant. I'm like, well, what happened before the 10 years? Why I didn't have back pain? Well, then it's not fucking chronic. Right? And do you have pain all the time? No, sometimes it comes and goes. It was definitely not chronic. But chronic gives you significance, like, because you think it's gonna happen forever. And he's like, oh, I never looked at it like that. Do you... If I told you that your back pain's gone in a month, how would you feel? It's like, oh, I'd feel amazing. How does your back feel right now? It actually feels a bit lighter, right?

• 1:22:38Speaker 00

  You start to declare your own existence without realizing it and then looking for evidence to reinforce it all the time. So, "being smart," one of my quotes, doesn't make you any happier. It just makes your reasons why you're not way more convincing. You've got very convincing stories is why you should keep driving Uber. And I'm not asking you to be reckless or cavalier or irresponsible. I'm just asking you to wake up to the potential that you are. I don't know what your business is, but I can see a guy who shows up to an event like this. You're the first to pick up the mic. You're here being vulnerable. You're somebody who wants to make a fucking impact.

• 1:23:11Speaker 02

  I fucking do.

• 1:23:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. Right? So now, again, what we wanna tap into is the you that you think you will become when you have the successful business. Can you isolate that, right? We orient our ways in such a crazy way that we think that there's some future that's way more valuable with us or as a moment than where we are right now. And so we're like playing the waiting game. Oh, I'm not there, but I'm getting there. No, you're not. You're just not. But who would you... If I told you that your business works out, like, whatever it is, in six, 12 months, so you're doubling, tripling what you're making with Uber and then beyond that, 10x-ing in two years? If that's the future that's waiting for you,

• 1:23:54Speaker 00

  how would you feel standing there right now with the mic?

• 1:24:06Speaker 02

  Just more relaxed.

• 1:24:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. Relaxed as an energy is a receiving energy. Tension, you're... One of your main conversations is about security, power and money, right? Which is all illusory. There's no power and money. But really, it's revealing where you don't understand the worth and the value of who you are. Relaxation is now you're open. I just presented you a future that is as real as the one you've been worried about. Does everyone follow that? But you're being informed by your own... Like, this is the crazy part about the ego, right? You create the fear of a future that hasn't happened yet and then in the same moment, you're trying to come up with solutions to it. Does everyone get how insane that is? You're worried about the future, trying to come up with ways to avoid it,

• 1:24:51Speaker 00

  not realizing you fucking made it up. You wonder why people drink so much. So you've got an idea of a future, like, you're some sort of, you know... Forget about walking on water. Stop trying to be a fortune teller with the worst-case scenarios. Like, my future is fucking phenomenal. Do you see that?

• 1:25:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:25:12Speaker 00

  Through declaration. I know, I'm just as clueless, but that's the one I'm living into. And by golly, it's amazing how often that happens. You will constantly, through cognitive bias, find evidence for the way that you think your life is gonna unfold. And if you're oriented where you can't have impact, you're not powerful, then you're gonna find evidence everywhere for it. So is it true, as an absolute truth, that you're not powerful?

• 1:25:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:25:38Speaker 00

  This is why, when you understand, you're so powerful, you can make yourself disempowered and powerless. It's way harder to play the game you're playing. That shows me how fucking powerful you are, that you can suppress your power. Does everyone get that?

• 1:26:02Speaker 02

  I'm really good at that.

• 1:26:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, I invite you to stop being so good at it. So you ready to start to be truly Kaelin, whose essence, forget about name, mom, dad, whatever, you're one... Live from the quality of power, which is one of your innate characteristics?

• 1:26:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:27Speaker 00

  Okay. Our work here is done.

• 1:26:33Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:26:36Speaker 04

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• 1:27:31Speaker 00

  Okay, who got something from that? Who can see yourself in that conversation? Yeah? So again, right? Like, if you look at the way in linear time that the mind works, typically, he's trying to get away from something that he was oblivious to, which is, don't make a mistake, don't upset mom, which is like as a catch or don't upset anyone, don't do anything wrong. He's trying to get away from that. At best, proactively, he's smart, he's kind, he's caring, he's creative. Proactively, I'm gonna try and work towards a better future. You know, like, he'll have all sorts of conversations in his head about, well, if I reduce the amount of hours here, like, if I do a black car. You know, you can imagine how he's trying to figure things out, right? What I'm inviting him to do is forget about linear progression. Live from the quality of who you are

• 1:28:16Speaker 00

  at the essence of your soul. If he lives from power, he's gonna have different thoughts, different emotions, different behaviors. Versus the strategy of the ego trying to survive. Can you see the difference? That's two entirely different worlds. I'm not... I don't care about whether he sticks with it. He can... He could be Uber for the rest of his life and change the world because of the conversations he has in his car. Do you see? It's not in the events. It's not about outsourcing anymore. Andre didn't make him cry. Andre said something, he made himself cry. His mom didn't tell him that he couldn't be right. He was a little boy, he got scared. Of course, he was a dependent, I get it. But now, no fucking fuck shit up. You know? And be responsible. You know, obviously, if you do things that hurt people, that's fine. But if you're a man, if you're anybody

• 1:29:00Speaker 00

  who wants to make a difference, you've got to disrupt. So it might mean that for a while, he keeps his Uber. That's fine, he can be responsible, keep some income. But the conversations in that Uber are gonna be different. He will now be available. He's gonna have someone get in the Uber that was never energetically able to get in that car. Do you understand that? From that, do you get that, Kaelin? From the energy of power, you will attract people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free. So he would have constantly gotten evidence. He would have had conversations that would probably be with people who are equally struggling. And if somebody got in who was abundant or powerful or successful or famous, he might have gone into the, like, ooh, you know, and it would have been a cool conversation, but there's no resonance. It's him versus them, right?

• 1:29:45Speaker 00

  Now, it's like, no, I'm fucking powerful. I would expect, like, if Donald Trump or whoever, I don't give a shit, got into his Uber, because that's the kind of experience he wants to now have. That you can't calculate. That's because of an energetic frequency. As you tune your radio into a different vibration, you're gonna attract different music. That's how life works. You're waiting for... He was waiting for life to be different to give him permission to step forward into a different frequency. Car before horse. Does everyone follow that? Now, he generates. He gen... I make myself feel, I'm powerful. And if somebody doesn't wanna do his business or invest, fine, I'll move on to the next person. Someone will, it's your loss. You can... Can you feel the difference in the resonance? Okay, how was that? Was that too much?

• 1:30:31André Duqum?

  Claps for that. That was good.

• 1:30:35Speaker 00

  Thank you for your courage, my friend. That is the first step to you being powerful. Look at the difference you made tonight, right? Take that as a living example and as a track record that you make a difference.

• 1:30:46André Duqum?

  Thank you for the share, man. I appreciate you.

• 1:30:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:52André Duqum?

  Let's keep going, shall we?

• 1:30:53Speaker 00

  Fuck it, let's go. Let's pop some more.

• 1:30:57André Duqum?

  Who was, I think it was, who was first last time? Okay, great. Yes.

• 1:31:05Speaker 06

  Hey, Peter.

• 1:31:06Speaker 00

  Hi.

• 1:31:06Speaker 06

  What's up? Nice to see you again.

• 1:31:08Speaker 00

  Nice to see you. Remind me of your name?

• 1:31:10Speaker 06

  Lizbeth.

• 1:31:11Speaker 00

  Lizbeth?

• 1:31:12Speaker 06

  Lizbeth.

• 1:31:13Speaker 00

  Lizbeth?

• 1:31:13Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:31:16Speaker 06

  So today, something came up for me in one of the workshops regarding just like the incest and pedophilia that has occurred within my family and my distrust for the masculine.

• 1:31:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:28Speaker 06

  And it was just like really, like I could feel it in my sacral chakra, like the heat and the warmth and the fear.

• 1:31:37Speaker 00

  Did it happen to you directly or when you say in your family?

• 1:31:40Speaker 06

  No, it happened to me directly as well.

• 1:31:41Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:31:42Speaker 06

  And so I feel like in my family, I grew up feeling like the disruptor. So I grew up fearing to tell my truth because it wasn't believed or people would look at me and discredit me or invalidate what I would say. But as I've embarked on this healing journey, I feel more comfortable talking about it and like kind of embracing the feelings that come with it as I'm evolving.

• 1:32:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:08Speaker 06

  But I feel like there's something that I'm not exactly seeing when it comes down to like the work that I want to do and like sharing my truth and talking about the taboo of those types of situations.

• 1:32:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, I get it. And so where, how's it, first of all, I'm very sorry you went through that. No child should ever experience that. So thank you for your courage to share because I'm sure there's people in this room who can either relate to it directly or they certainly know a lot about it.

• 1:32:35Speaker 00

  So

• 1:32:37Speaker 00

  how does it manifest today for Lizbeth? Like, how does it show up in your life? Apart from the work you're doing on it, which is great and I commend you for, how does it manifest in the way that things aren't necessarily how you want?

• 1:32:49Speaker 06

  I would say just whenever I speak my truth, it just, I still feel like a disruption and nothing really changes. Like, it's just, I can vocalize what I'm, what I mean to say and I could probably say it really well.

• 1:33:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:33:01Speaker 06

  But nothing is changing on the, on the outer realm.

• 1:33:04Speaker 00

  Okay, got it. Okay. Do you ever remember the kind of dreams you have?

• 1:33:10Speaker 06

  A lot of human trafficking.

• 1:33:12Speaker 00

  Pardon?

• 1:33:13Speaker 06

  A lot of human trafficking dreams.

• 1:33:15Speaker 00

  In your dreams?

• 1:33:16Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:33:17Speaker 00

  Viscerally, what is your experience in the dreams?

• 1:33:21Speaker 06

  Like, I'm a victim of human trafficking.

• 1:33:23Speaker 00

  Yeah. So what I'm hearing in the way that she speaks, how many of you have seen the movie Divergent?

• 1:33:30Speaker 00

  Okay, it's a great movie. There's a scene that I'm coming to mind that really makes me tap into where she's at energetically, which is the lead actress is in a big cube of glass and it's filling with water. Just for those of you who've seen it, so whatever. She's trapped in glass. You get it if you haven't seen it. So what I can hear for Lizbeth is like, you know, that feeling, I don't know, I've had the dream myself when I was much younger, where you just feel like trapped, but you feel like weak. Does that feel that? Can, can you relate to that? It's like you're trapped and it's like you feel like you can't, it's sort of a continuation a little bit, like which often happens in these conversations of what I was talking with Kalen about, like is that feeling of like, ah, I can't do something about it.

• 1:34:13Speaker 00

  So she's already given me enough clues of like, like she can't speak her truth or at least her truth isn't landing. So what I hear, it's almost like that image, that quintessential Hollywood movie, like where the guy is outside or the girl is outside, it's cold and it's raining and he's looking through the restaurant window and everyone is inside loving their meals and having fun. Can you feel that? Can you feel that sense of isolation? So what I hear, especially given what she shared with me about the sexual abuse and the sex trafficking, the pedophilia,

• 1:34:43Speaker 00

  we don't have to go there too deeply, but in the experience that you had, what was your experience as a kid in those moments? If you were to try and put a word to how you felt whilst that was happening?

• 1:34:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, trapped.

• 1:34:59Speaker 00

  Trapped. I want you to consider the word that I feel for her is powerless.

• 1:35:05Speaker 00

  Can you feel that? Like literally, because for her as a young girl, as a child, as a dependent, as a weaker human relative to whoever was doing whatever they're doing, she's going to feel both trapped, but also like powerless. So now what I hear in the way that she speaks and that she's describing that she's very consistent theme with what we've been talking about is she's, it's almost like she has a voice, but she doesn't have a voice. And again, you can tell me to what degree this resonates, right? Like, meaning you're smart, you're articulate, you're doing the work. But what I hear is that it's almost like you're screaming into the void.

• 1:35:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:35:42Speaker 00

  Yeah?

• 1:35:42Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:35:44Speaker 00

  What does that feel like as a woman?

• 1:35:47Speaker 06

  Exhausting.

• 1:35:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. So what I want you to understand is how old are you, Lizbeth?

• 1:35:53Speaker 06

  Thirty-four.

• 1:35:54Speaker 00

  Thirty-four. And roughly just about what age did some of this stuff happen?

• 1:35:59Speaker 06

  Like four years old.

• 1:36:00Speaker 00

  Yeah. So here she is, thirty-four-year-old woman biologically in terms of the chronology of the organism, but the energy that is like driving it is still a trapped, scared, powerless four-year-old.

• 1:36:14Speaker 00

  And so what we've got to do is we've got to recognize, oh, she's still being to some degree, through no fault of her own, being defined by a nervous system that is living constantly and finding evidence for, where she doesn't have any domain, no sovereignty, very again, similar to this is like the female version of what we were just talking about. That she doesn't feel that she has power. So if you're looking, if that's the way that you're relating to life, then life is a mirror. So it's not that they're not listening or they're not believing her truth. She set it up unconsciously that way. Did you track what I just said? Does that make sense?

• 1:36:48Speaker 06

  I'm listening.

• 1:36:49Speaker 00

  Okay. Great. So I want her to realize that there's no absence of power. It's just her power is being filtered through the way that she perceives life, which is that she does have no domain. Again, very similar, like she has no impact. Her words don't land. People don't get it. They can't hear her. She's hopelessly trapped. Yes?

• 1:37:13Speaker 06

  Well, sort of like, I feel like as, like the past two years, I've been more present with what occurred and now I feel people are coming out of like the woodworks, like my younger sister speaking up for herself, which I never thought was going to be a possibility.

• 1:37:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:37:27Speaker 06

  And even my mom, who basically always stood on the perpetrator's side, actually took our side like around two weeks ago. So that was very like shifting for me because I was like, wow, my mom. No shit on my mom, but she was like a Judas where like she would like go and betray and like not be on our side.

• 1:37:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:37:43Speaker 06

  Uh, which was really painful, but

• 1:37:45Speaker 00

  Very hard.

• 1:37:46Speaker 06

  See her actually be like, I'm on your side, like I'm not going to go to them. That was like a huge shift to see.

• 1:37:53Speaker 00

  Very similar to Kalen, right? Like the two years ago where he started to be invited by his mom to come forward. So I'm very similar dynamic. I'm glad that she's coming around, but what I want to get Lizbeth to eventually, it's irrelevant. She comes around or it doesn't. This is your journey, your karma, the way that you incarnated is you wanted to have this experience of feeling powerless. Not because you're waiting for somebody else to give you the permission or the endorsement that you're powerful, but for you to discover it for yourself. Your mom is like a kind of a little bit of a help, like it's nice, right? It's

• 1:38:25Speaker 06

  Super boost.

• 1:38:26Speaker 00

  A what?

• 1:38:26Speaker 06

  A super boost.

• 1:38:27Speaker 00

  Exactly. Yeah. You got like a little extra like cheerleading from the mom. It's like, okay, finally, right? It gives you permission to start to tap into your divine feminine, which is power itself for sure, right? Different form of the masculine that I was talking with Kalen about, but for you, that divine feminine. So really what you're saying from the perspective of that young girl is that you're trapped, you're powerless, that you don't have any, really that your words, because again, without getting into the graphics of it, I've heard so many ways that people have described what they went through. Sometimes they're literally mouth, their mouth is covered with a hand, right? Like, so even the visceral experience of you can't say anything or you're screaming or you're shouting and nobody hears. You're, you're basically saying, I don't have a voice.

• 1:39:12Speaker 06

  Well, can I share something?

• 1:39:14Speaker 00

  No, you can share whatever you want.

• 1:39:15Speaker 06

  So that's not necessarily true because there was one moment where my perpetrator took me into a dark room. That, that's when I was four years old and I don't know, I don't remember because I was so young, but there was a moment where he brought me into a dark room and was going to get me to do things, but I, I couldn't see. It was completely dark. And like something in me just told him to tell him that like Jesus was watching him and he told me to run away. And so I didn't understand it then because I was four years old and I didn't know what I was, was going to happen. But like afterwards, I was like, oh, wow, like, not to get too deep into it, but I probably was gonna do some oral act and I didn't get involved in it

• 1:39:56Speaker 06

  because I spoke up for myself and that was like the first moment of sovereignty that I ever experienced in my life.

• 1:40:02Speaker 00

  Beautiful. Yeah, powerful. And that was where we get these like glimpses and trailers of coming attractions, which is your soul to me incarnated in this particular lifetime, because that's what you're here to remember about yourself. Right? That moment was a glimpse of what you're here to incarnate, to discover, which is the power of your voice.

• 1:40:24Speaker 00

  But in order to discover the power of your voice, you have to experience the antithesis. One of the most beautiful parts about loving somebody is missing them. And from the perspective of consciousness, there is everything. We have to experience the antithesis. So you, in that moment, beautiful. But for the majority of the other experiences, no voice, right? Even the way, yes?

• 1:40:47Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:40:47Speaker 00

  You described that when you're talking, your mom, to begin with, okay, she's come around, but she was the judas, she wasn't listening. Your voices and landing. I can imagine how frustrating that is.

• 1:40:56Speaker 06

  Yeah, really painful.

• 1:40:57Speaker 00

  Really painful. So if we look at this more from a soul's mission versus a human victim of horrific and tragic things. But if we were to look at it from the aspect of who you really are as a soul, incarnating for an omission and an experience, what could we say that you're here to learn?

• 1:41:16Speaker 06

  That my voice is powerful?

• 1:41:19Speaker 00

  I want you all to consider, this is one of my favorite lines, all you have is a voice. In the beginning was the word. All of you are nothing but walking conversations.

• 1:41:31Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:41:31Speaker 00

  Like, really, the you that you think you are is a compilation of conclusions and beliefs that you've made over time, which is founded in language. Even your name is made up. It's appropriate in time and space. If someone says, hi Peter, nice to see you. I respond, but I know it's not who I am. Right, it's a locator. But then you get into the nuances of like, oh, I'm powerless. I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, right? You're bound by these linguistic fortresses. So, again, just as I said, we can't, he's so powerful that he can suppress his power. Right, everyone kind of got that, right? There was a general wow, like, that's how powerful his capacity is, that he can even suppress that which is innate. I want you to consider, Lisbeth, your voice is so powerful

• 1:42:15Speaker 00

  that you can use your voice to believe that you don't have power. The same thing. But you're saying that to yourself, right? So you're, you're giving the illusion that your voice doesn't carry any power.

• 1:42:28Speaker 06

  Which is wild, because I'm a comm major.

• 1:42:30Speaker 00

  Because you're what?

• 1:42:31Speaker 06

  Which is wild, because I'm a communications major.

• 1:42:34Speaker 00

  Of course, there's no fucking surprise how these things show up, right?

• 1:42:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:42:39Speaker 00

  So you're being drawn into that, which is really both something you desperately crave, but also that is an inherent gift.

• 1:42:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:42:48Speaker 00

  The illusion is that you're still waiting for your voice to be given validity.

• 1:42:56Speaker 00

  Do you see that?

• 1:42:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:42:58Speaker 00

  There's a great line in The Matrix, again, like, I think this is the third one now. I promise you, my whole philosophy isn't built off The Matrix. I did, I did have some unique thoughts of my own. But when the, Zion is under attack by the machines, right? There, all the sentinels are coming to blow it up or whatever, and all the ships, the head of defense, who has this contentious relationship with Morpheus, because they both dated the same woman or whatever, you know, Hollywood drama. So Morpheus leaves the Ebuchanessa, which is his ship, out there in The Matrix, because he wants to be able to communicate with the oracle to determine the fate of the one, which is Neo. Does everyone kind of track, even if you don't fucking follow?

• 1:43:41Speaker 00

  No, I mean, it's really simple. Okay, basically, like, the good guys, they've got a ship, a spaceship. It's out there in The Matrix, and he's supposed to bring the ship back to defend the homeland. That's like the simple version. The head of defense says, damn it, Morpheus, I gave the instruction to all captains to bring your ships back to defend Zion. And he said, no, I left the ship out there because I have to be able to communicate with the oracle to determine the fate. And the head of defense says, damn it, Morpheus, not everyone believes what you believe, right? That he believes in this destiny in the one. And his line, he said, my beliefs do not require them to. Oh, yeah. Not everyone believes what you believe.

• 1:44:25Speaker 00

  My beliefs do not require them to. Isn't that powerful? Yeah, yeah. Lisbeth, that's where you're headed.

• 1:44:32Speaker 06

  That's what's up.

• 1:44:34Speaker 00

  Do you get that?

• 1:44:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:44:36Speaker 00

  What did you just get from what I just shared?

• 1:44:38Speaker 06

  That I need to validate my own truth and my own voice.

• 1:44:41Speaker 00

  Don't even need to, you do by declaration alone.

• 1:44:44Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:44:44Speaker 00

  Whether anybody gets it or not.

• 1:44:47Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:44:48Speaker 00

  Do you see that? That gives me chills, which tells me that I'm in resonance with your experience, right? So right now, what you're here to realize is that your voice matters for you. Those who are ready to hear it will hear it, those who don't, don't. You've been waiting for permission to have your voice.

• 1:45:07Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 1:45:08Speaker 00

  What becomes available for you now with your voice?

• 1:45:14Speaker 06

  I can share it. I can share it freely.

• 1:45:17Speaker 00

  How does that hit your body as a woman?

• 1:45:21Speaker 06

  Well, I feel more free and I feel lighter.

• 1:45:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:45:25Speaker 06

  Not shaking as much.

• 1:45:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. Can you hear, can you feel the enormous amount of power that now you are charged with? With the responsibility of having the way that you speak change some things that happen around you?

• 1:45:40Speaker 06

  Oh, fucking yeah.

• 1:45:41Speaker 00

  Right? Can you see this is the juxtaposition? She had to have the experience of her voice landed nowhere, which is a horrible feeling, totally appropriate to a child who's being taken advantage of in a tragic, horrible way. She had to have that experience so she could be reminded that there's nothing this woman can't handle, and she doesn't need consensus.

• 1:46:06Speaker 00

  Do you feel that?

• 1:46:07Speaker 06

  Yes, I would have dropped the mic, but...

• 1:46:10Speaker 00

  Well, you do have it, so you're... Yeah. That's a new world for Lisbeth, isn't it?

• 1:46:17Speaker 06

  That's what's up, thank you.

• 1:46:18Speaker 00

  You're so welcome.

• 1:46:23Speaker 00

  That's how powerful you all are, that you use your words to fundamentally build the cage from which you then try to escape, not realizing that you made it up in the first place.

• 1:46:35André Duqum?

  That's some good stuff. That's some good stuff, Peter.

• 1:46:38Speaker 00

  Picking up what I'm putting down?

• 1:46:43André Duqum?

  Thank you, those are both very vulnerable shares, and I can imagine not easy in a group like this especially. So thank you for the courage to share.

• 1:46:51Speaker 00

  No, particularly in those particular subject matters. And I really, and again, like, there's no surprise to me, without making generalizations, that typically, sadly, majority of women who go through experiences like that is because you're here to recognize that there's nothing you can't handle.

• 1:47:08Speaker 00

  Doesn't mean you want to, but it shows you that you can. That's how powerful that woman is, now that she recognizes. Her whole story about all the things she's been working on and the shame and da, da, da, da, it's irrelevant now. Can you see that? Can you see it's like, it doesn't in any way condone what she went through, and it doesn't mean that it was easy, but relative to what she's discovered about who she is, there's nothing this woman can't handle.

• 1:47:32Speaker 00

  So it just becomes almost anecdotal, it's a memory. But it's no longer something she has to work on. Do you see the difference? It's super cool.

• 1:47:44André Duqum?

  That, there's that difference there, because you're like, you're helping reveal the events that we not only were significant in our life, but that we continue to carry significance around.

• 1:47:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:47:55André Duqum?

  And how do you walk that balance? Before we do maybe one last one of honoring the trauma that lives in the body, the experience that is very real for a person, and the narrative that continues to perpetuate that in their experience?

• 1:48:09Speaker 00

  Beautiful question. So we want to make sure that we make space for both, right? 1.0 is still very much what runs the world, and it is part of the human experience. So when I started, one of the first things I said is, I see her, I feel her, I'm very sorry, no child should go through that, right? I want to acknowledge her reality, even though underneath it, I know it's precisely what she signed up for unconsciously. No one's gonna, like, volunteer consciously to go through these horrific experiences. So we want to be able to make space for honor, respect, revere, and have compassion for the human experience. But underneath it, when we realize that what we feel is happening to us, she used the word victim, right? That is appropriate from the perspective of the human.

• 1:48:54Speaker 00

  It's completely irrelevant from the point of view of the soul, which is what I'm appealing to. So can you see it's both? So whatever you've gone through, and we've all been through horrific things, tragic, completely shit, you know, shit that we shouldn't condone. But nonetheless, that which happens to you as a human is what's happening for you as a soul.

• 1:49:16Speaker 00

  And if you can change that around, boy, does it completely alter your relationship to trauma. We make space for the tragedy, we make space for the devastation, the heartache, the hurt, the sadness is all appropriate for the human. And this is why I talk about maternal and paternal love, right? Maternal really is the the owie, the kid falls over. We want to meet them in their reality. We're like, dude, forget it. You fucking ran around the corner, too fucking, you know, that's not going to help that kid right now. The kid wants to be picked up, it wants to be held, it wants to be safe, it wants to be recognized in its hurt. So I do it a lot quicker if I was this was one on one. We might have stayed there longer.

• 1:49:58Speaker 00

  I wanted her to feel that I wanted, but she knows that this is a safe space. I could feel the confidence. She's the second one to the mic. I'm making a lot of assumptions that I can go there a little quicker, which is more the paternal, which is now that we want to get into the understanding of the mechanics that led to the human experience. Maternal, unconditional, holding. Paternal, more like tough love, like, let's get this shit together. You're awesome. So we make space for both. Does that make sense? Oftentimes in these communities, what I see is there's a lot of bypassing, which is people who have great insights. I know a lot of people, it's very slippery. They've listened to my work, they've done a lot of work, they've listened to other people. They say all the right things, but they're negating the human experience.

• 1:50:42Speaker 00

  So it's really important to validate that. We want to, we want to really let somebody know, I get it. That's awful. You women do this way better than men, right? Like your girlfriend's going through something. Honey, come here, I'm so sorry. Like, you're not trying to fix anything, you just want to be with your friend, right? This is something that I help men with is to like, particularly in their relationships, just learn to listen. Listen is an extension of love. Then, when it's appropriate, when someone feels safe, when somebody feels like, to your point earlier about vulnerability, when someone is like held, now you can get into maybe the mechanics of why did that transpire? Which then helps them evolve, right? She's still going to have moments, she still might have even some. Why I asked about her sleep is when you go through those experiences, I wanted to wonder to what degree she was having the feeling

• 1:51:27Speaker 00

  of powerlessness in her dreams, right? Because that's sometimes where it's trying to play out. But then now she, that's all going to change. Her orientation to her own physiology, the way that her mind thinks, the feeling she has, the things that she thinks is going to be possible. She's literally jumped what I call a timeline. She's in a different frequency. So now, if I spoke to Lizbeth again in a week or like, I could even be more firm, like, you know, because she's going to be even stronger now. She can hear it, she knows that I've got her voice, I, it landed for me. She's got evidence that I'm paying attention, which is going to reinforce her own sense of power. So we want to make space for both and it's a nuance, it's a skill to be able to discern, you know, to what degree do we have to stay in the human domain for a minute? Because that person's really caught up in the drama.

• 1:52:11Speaker 00

  You know, for some people, it's definitely, if it's fresh, if it was a week ago, you know, like, then it's, it's, time is warranted to stay there for a minute. Let them know, it's okay, I get it, it's horrible. You know, and if somebody like, sometimes I'll jump straight down the throat to somebody. I'm like, you're full of shit. Like, I can remember honestly, a woman came to see me, one of my first clients in London, who was divorced to a very, very, very successful rock star in London. Very well to do, she had all the resources, elegantly dressed, beautiful, manicured, all the things, we met at a beautiful golf club. She walks in, she spoke to me for an hour and 15 minutes, nonstop. Right, I just listened. I'm there, probably the first audience, like real audience that cares enough that she could just tell me everything.

• 1:52:54Speaker 00

  My first words to her, that was so boring.

• 1:53:02Speaker 00

  Took some fucking balls, right? She got up, she started to walk out. I said, are you not at least curious why I would say that? She got down and sat down again. I said, because what I see is an extraordinary woman who's trying to get me to buy into a bullshit story. You don't understand how extraordinary you are. And I'm not going to be one of the people who buys into your woe is me. Right, so that was an example of like, she was mature enough, it was an old story. It's like, it's just boring, relative to who I see sitting in front of me. So that was a unique experience where there was just really no holding.

• 1:53:47Speaker 00

  But typically, you need to spend time with the human first.

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• 1:54:49Speaker 00

  How do we feel about one more? Let's do it, let's go.

• 1:54:54Speaker 03

  Hi.

• 1:54:54Speaker 00

  Hi.

• 1:54:55Speaker 03

  My name is Darby.

• 1:54:56Speaker 00

  Darby?

• 1:54:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:54:58Speaker 00

  Darby, nice to meet you, where are you from?

• 1:54:59Speaker 03

  Nice to meet you, I'm California, northern, Lake Tahoe area.

• 1:55:02Speaker 00

  Oh, beautiful, I used to live there in Glenbrook.

• 1:55:04Speaker 03

  Oh, beautiful, very nice, very nice.

• 1:55:08Speaker 00

  What can we help you with?

• 1:55:10Speaker 03

  I'm trying to find the entry point here.

• 1:55:11Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:55:13Speaker 03

  I'm definitely, the story actually you just told about the woman who came to see you, I'm, I'm bored of my own story to a large degree as well.

• 1:55:21Speaker 00

  Well, then don't be upset if I'm direct with you.

• 1:55:24Speaker 03

  Perfect, yeah, I also cry a lot, so that's okay too.

• 1:55:27Speaker 00

  That's okay.

• 1:55:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, so, you know, I feel like I've been working on myself for all these years, you know, whatever, and there's improvements and it's kind of the 2.0 model. I want the 2.0 model, I'm tired of these incremental things.

• 1:55:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:55:40Speaker 03

  And, you know, I just feel still so alone, always.

• 1:55:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:55:46Speaker 03

  You know, and I just want to know how to get, sorry.

• 1:55:51Speaker 00

  It's okay, don't resist it.

• 1:55:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:55:54Speaker 00

  It's you trying to get it right.

• 1:55:56Speaker 03

  Okay. I guess the one piece of the story, just to make a reference, is just, you know, I felt up, I grew up feeling very alone and isolated, I had no one to talk to. I was shamed for any feelings that I had, I wasn't allowed to express them.

• 1:56:12Speaker 00

  No, I get that, that's why I'm asking you not to resist, I can see it. It's okay, this is one of the most beautiful things you can do for us.

• 1:56:20Speaker 03

  Okay, thank you.

• 1:56:21Speaker 00

  Okay, this might be the first time, and I'm not saying it is literally the first time, but you're actually being invited to truly feel. You just explain to me why that's an anomaly for you.

• 1:56:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:56:36Speaker 00

  You're welcome here, you're, you're loved here.

• 1:56:39Speaker 03

  Thank you, I do feel that.

• 1:56:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:56:42Speaker 03

  I'm having a hard time speaking.

• 1:56:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's beautiful, we get to be with you. This is a gift that you're giving us.

• 1:56:49Speaker 03

  Okay, thank you.

• 1:56:50Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:56:52Speaker 03

  I get really mad at myself because, you know, I've lost all of my family members as well, pretty young, and I felt like I never got.

• 1:57:00Speaker 00

  Like lost in terms of they passed?

• 1:57:01Speaker 03

  They're all dead, yeah.

• 1:57:02Speaker 00

  Okay, okay.

• 1:57:03Speaker 03

  My brother and both my parents.

• 1:57:06Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:57:06Speaker 03

  And, you know, I just feel like I never got to work out any of those things with them while they were here. And so now I'm left to do it on my own. And it's just hard because I didn't, you know, have much support growing up and then, you know, they left and I just feel like I've always had to do everything by myself. And, you know, people give me as a compliment that I'm very strong and I appreciate that. But it's also very lonely to feel strong and feel like you have to do everything for yourself, by yourself.

• 1:57:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, I can relate, I get it, it's exhausting.

• 1:57:39Speaker 03

  It is exhausting. And I just, you know, but I also get mad at myself because I'm also tired of the story of woe is me, that these things happen to me, things happen to people all the time. And I know it's my responsibility to make my life better. And I feel like, I, I don't know how, I don't know why I get so stuck though, and I can only incrementally, slowly, slowly get better. But I want a bigger life, I want more for myself and I want to be included. I would love to be in a relationship. It's been decades since I've had someone who I'd even call my boyfriend.

• 1:58:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:58:12Speaker 03

  And I don't even know how to, it's, I like, it's like, it feels like that weird spiritual law is something that you want so much you can't have because you're too desperate for it.

• 1:58:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, I get it.

• 1:58:22Speaker 03

  And it just makes it feel more out of reach.

• 1:58:25Speaker 00

  When was the last time you listened to a friend who was maybe in a similar state that you're displaying for us beautifully now? When was the last time, do you remember? Like a girlfriend, a boyfriend, like not romantic, but just a friend who was struggling with something? Is there something in the last month, somebody called you? I would imagine you'd be a beautiful friend. Is there anybody that you can remember or a moment where somebody called you? Because they were struggling with something.

• 1:58:51Speaker 03

  Yes, I do feel, yes.

• 1:58:53Speaker 00

  Okay, who was it and when?

• 1:58:56Speaker 03

  Um, a friend, it was a couple, actually, a friend of my, friends of mine, a couple. I'm friends with each of them individually and they're a couple.

• 1:59:05Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:59:05Speaker 03

  And I was camping with them, actually, and they had all these relationship problems come up and they actually asked me to help, help them get through it.

• 1:59:14Speaker 00

  Beautiful, so give me one example of what was shared one on one or together? Like what, what state were they in? What were they saying roughly, just the cliff notes?

• 1:59:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, um.

• 1:59:28Speaker 00

  They're struggling in their relationship?

• 1:59:29Speaker 03

  Yes, they're struggling in their relationship.

• 1:59:31Speaker 00

  They're scared of breakups, the wife is, you know, whatever, right?

• 1:59:35Speaker 03

  She felt that he was being disrespectful of her feelings and emotions.

• 1:59:39Speaker 00

  Okay, and then how did he feel?

• 1:59:41Speaker 03

  And he felt that, he felt ambushed that what he was saying was being totally taken out of context and wasn't his intention.

• 1:59:50Speaker 00

  Got it, and if you were to describe the energy that you held for both of them, either individually or as a couple, how would you describe who you were being?

• 2:00:00Speaker 03

  I felt that I was able to relate to both of them and feel empathetic and see their perspectives and help kind of translate them to each other a little bit.

• 2:00:09Speaker 00

  Great, so we could say empathy, that you were being kind, you were being caring, you were being loving?

• 2:00:15Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:00:15Speaker 00

  Great, and then how did you describe how you relate to yourself when you got your story?

• 2:00:22Speaker 03

  Mad, upset with myself, frustrated with myself.

• 2:00:26Speaker 00

  Right, and you wonder why you're not in a relationship? You're not making space for you, so who else could?

• 2:00:38Speaker 00

  Right, you understand the dynamic. When somebody's hurt and struggling, you show up with empathy, kindness, love, care. You wanna help, right? You hold space. But when you, why I said right at the beginning, because I could already tell the fact that you were so quick to go there, that you're not accustomed to giving your space, your own space to feel. There's no room for Darby to be human. Do you see that?

• 2:01:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:01:02Speaker 00

  Now, I get it, because you've had the conditioning where there was the absence of people to allow that little girl to feel. So you kinda had to figure it out by yourself, which is this story of isolation, which is really an extension of the 1.0 survival mechanism. Right, I said, as long as you think you're a separate self, you have no choice but to survive. You're just in survival, which I get. You're exhausted. But what does somebody who is desperately asking to be heard, seen, loved, what do they need more than anything? Like, they've got feelings. They're human. They're a young girl. Like, what are they craving?

• 2:01:42Speaker 03

  Support, love, openness.

• 2:01:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:01:45Speaker 03

  Acceptance.

• 2:01:46Speaker 00

  Right. And what are you bringing?

• 2:01:49Speaker 03

  To myself or to other people?

• 2:01:51Speaker 00

  No, to that part of you.

• 2:01:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. Sometimes I have those things, but other times I'm frustrated and...

• 2:02:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, you said it, mad. Like, if we were to put it under the one, like, one general way that you're relating yourself, it's judgment.

• 2:02:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:02:11Speaker 00

  You started your whole conversation, and you're just tired because you've been working on yourself. When I ask everybody who here wants to develop more self-love as a joke, as a trick, what I was showing is that means that there's a part of you that doesn't feel lovable, which of course is human. It's okay, but I want you to get it.

• 2:02:25Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:02:26Speaker 00

  So who works on themselves?

• 2:02:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, people who feel broken.

• 2:02:30Speaker 00

  Okay, now make it personalized.

• 2:02:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:02:34Speaker 00

  Why are you working on yourself?

• 2:02:38Speaker 03

  Because I wanna be acceptable.

• 2:02:40Speaker 00

  But, right. So that's the outcome that you're trying to garner, which means that underneath it, what does that make you now?

• 2:02:48Speaker 03

  Unacceptable, broken.

• 2:02:50Speaker 00

  Haven't been in a relationship for decades. No idea why. Right? So what if the relationship that you're here to actually develop and work on is that, which I know it sounds so cliche, but really is the one with yourself? In the absence of other people to provide it for you, we saw with Lisbeth and with Kalin that they were both dependent on outsourcing the permission for them to show up. You don't have that. You've taken a slightly higher, calmer incarnation, which is it's up to you. Slightly different, right? You don't, like, I'm the same. Like, my whole life was completely defined by, everything's up to me. My parents died. I'm an only child. I've got no one.

• 2:03:33Speaker 00

  Right, so I became fiercely independent. And then it got to the point where I realized this is all a joke. Like, how can it be up to me? I'm consciousness itself. I am part of everything. The isolated part of me that thinks that it's all up to me is really just that. It's an isolated idea. So your opportunity as consciousness 2.0, you said that you so wanna be 2.0. Great, the opportunity is to have 1.0 to hold space for. You can't get to be 2.0, which is the space of love, of power, that we've just seen, of complete and utter innate abundance, without the catalyst for it. So you were like, fuck it.

• 2:04:17Speaker 00

  I don't want people to help me to discover the capacity I have to love. I wanna figure it out by myself. So I'm gonna be left as a little girl who thinks that she doesn't have anybody to take care of, so that I can show up for her. If I told you that you were gonna have the most incredible relationship in a month with this most loving guy, a guy that just paid you so much attention, that just listened to you in a way that adored you, flaws and all, that regardless of your Lutile phase and whatever you go through, you know, all the shit, right? Like, that he just adores you. I fucking pay attention.

• 2:04:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. He knows about the Lutile phase.

• 2:04:59Speaker 00

  I'll go through all of them. What would that feel like if that's coming your way in like a month or two? Be honest.

• 2:05:11Speaker 03

  It's a combination of...

• 2:05:12Speaker 00

  I know, and that's why I said be honest, because I know what's in there.

• 2:05:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. There's relief and pressure at the same time.

• 2:05:20Speaker 00

  Correct. Now, that part I wanted her to pay attention to is the pressure, which is really pointing to what? What's the pressure? What's the pressure coming from? Prince Charming's on the way. Where's the pressure coming from?

• 2:05:36Speaker 03

  To be worthy of it.

• 2:05:38Speaker 00

  Do you see? It's right there. It defines her. That's why she can't be in a relationship. She's not ready. Says who?

• 2:05:49Speaker 03

  Says me. I know. I know this. I know all this. It doesn't, I can't still change it.

• 2:05:54Speaker 00

  You don't know it to the degree that I'm wanting you to discover with me, with a man who's willing to hold space with you, who loves you, even the part of you that doesn't love itself, which is your gift to yourself. I can love you all day, but it's gonna be insufficient eventually. That young girl is asking you to show up and love her. You love you with all your flaws. There's nothing for you to work on other than your own illusion that there's a part of you to work on. Where is that part?

• 2:06:28Speaker 03

  What part is, what part of the, I need to...

• 2:06:30Speaker 00

  What part of you said you've been working on yourself? Well, like, what are you working on?

• 2:06:33Speaker 03

  I'm working on accepting the shadow. I'm working on, I know...

• 2:06:38Speaker 00

  You apparently suck at that.

• 2:06:40Speaker 03

  Apparently so. Like...

• 2:06:43Speaker 00

  Where's the shadow? I mean, it's pretty dark right now, but where's the shadow? What's so horrible about Darby?

• 2:06:58Speaker 03

  In this moment, I don't even know.

• 2:07:00Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, good. We've made great progress.

• 2:07:04Speaker 03

  There's nothing terribly horrible about me.

• 2:07:06Speaker 00

  Really? I'm shocked. Yeah, what about if there's literally nothing that's terrible about you?

• 2:07:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:07:17Speaker 00

  What if the most beautiful thing about you is that you sometimes think that there's something terrible about you? Does everyone get what I just said? Darby, what if the most beautiful thing about you is that sometimes you think there's something terrible about you? What would that make available for you right now? What if that's your greatest asset?

• 2:07:47Speaker 03

  How is it, how can it be?

• 2:07:51Speaker 00

  That's why it's a question. What would become available? This is so jarring for her orientation, do you see? That's why I said if Prince Charming shows up, I knew, and I'm glad that she was on it, that it would be both relieving. Like, that's what she desperately craves, right? She desperately craves, please, somebody love me. But because she doesn't. And so I'm glad that she recognized the pressure, because if someone amazing showed up, she would feel completely inadequate. Not because she is, but that is a self-fulfilling prophecy, that that guy could adore her. Like I said, I could love her for the next few months, but eventually she would somehow have to sabotage that.

• 2:08:35Speaker 00

  Because that's how you're so, so committed. It's the ultimate addiction. You can violate, sometimes you can, sorry, you can alter your behaviors sometimes, right? Beginning of the year, you've like been a lazy motherfucker, and you're like, but no, this is my year. I'm gonna get in shape, which you never do, because it's all bullshit. But you can overcome your habits for a minute, right? But you can never violate your identity. So she'll be nice for a minute. She'll be the perfect girlfriend decades. You know, I mean, it's a little exaggeration, but whenever her last boyfriend was, like, she would have been the perfect girlfriend as a compensation for, God forbid, he actually finds out that I've got shadows. Because that would have been a shock to another human being, right? Like, really? I thought you were fucking perfect. So this is your opportunity.

• 2:09:20Speaker 00

  Your gift is to integrate the idea that you think there's something wrong with you.

• 2:09:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I felt, I no longer identify with not loving myself. Like, I do love myself. I do still think there's issues, and I have anger. Anger is something, probably. I'm quick to anger. But I do love myself. I feel like I can be loved by someone. I don't, part of me probably would sabotage it.

• 2:09:44Speaker 00

  But it's so fragile.

• 2:09:45Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, that's probably what it is. Because it's...

• 2:09:48Speaker 00

  And I want you to consider, I get it. Like, it's, it's, it sounds great. You love yourself. You don't. There's parts of you you love. You know you're a nice person. You helped the couple. You were camping. You're sweet. You're kind. You're standing up here. You're a nice lady, right? You're very sweet. But there's a part of you that is like what you call the shadow that you've been working on that you don't love. Otherwise, why would you be working on it? The implicit energy there is there's something wrong. That's the pressure part, do you see? Love is all-inclusive. It's not, it's not like specific to one area. This is the beauty, folks, of being human. See, if you were perfect, you would never have to learn love. You all can love the parts of you that like,

• 2:10:32Speaker 00

  you know, your perfect jawlines, and your great hair, your blue eyes, your perfect boobs, or whatever it is that you like about yourself. Right? That's easy. But the fucking muffin top and the sailor light and the nose hairs, or whatever it is, that's the opportunity for love. Like, otherwise it's not love. It's just, you know, it's like, it's easy. It's convenience. So you really have chosen, I would say, one of the most advanced karmic incarnations, which is true, true capacity for love of self.

• 2:11:09Speaker 00

  That's the precursor to, and then everybody else stepping in line who wants to join you in the same dynamic.

• 2:11:16Speaker 00

  But you've got it the other way around. You've got to, it's like I can remember a friend of mine who was like, there used to be a great yogi and then she was out for a while, busy life, whatever, injured herself. And I said, oh, have you started going back to yoga? And she said, oh, no, no, I can't go to yoga. I'm like, why not? She says, well, because I've got to practice at home first. I'm like, wait, what? Like, well, I can't go to yoga because I'm not very good at it right now. I'm like, what the fuck do you think you do at the club?

• 2:11:41Speaker 00

  It's like, do you see? It's like, like you could spend the rest of your life trying to perfect the shadow, which is all illusory until such time that you're finally ready for, you know, which point it's too late. Do you see? Give someone the opportunity to love you exactly the way you are. What would that feel like?

• 2:12:03Speaker 03

  Safe.

• 2:12:05Speaker 00

  Say again?

• 2:12:05Speaker 03

  Safe.

• 2:12:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:12:07Speaker 03

  Calming, calming.

• 2:12:08Speaker 00

  Which is your experience to generate for your side?

• 2:12:14Speaker 00

  Right? You feel how your body's starting to shift? What's, what are you feeling?

• 2:12:22Speaker 03

  Well, I started to get mad at myself again because again, I can't make that, why can't I calm myself and love myself and do all the things?

• 2:12:29Speaker 00

  The voice, the voice that's saying that is the part of you that I'm asking to integrate. You're not saying that. You're not like, I'm gonna listen to Peter Crone for a minute and then I'm gonna come up with this like judgment of myself consciously. No, it's just automatic, do you see? And that automated part of you is reactive. You don't have to show up for that. It's that little girl who's desperately trying to get, she, there's so much at stake for her because there's no one there. She's terrified.

• 2:12:59Speaker 00

  Which is part of the hurt that then leads to the anger. Anger is a protection mechanism, right? You hit a dog enough, it's gonna start barking. It was not a bad puppy.

• 2:13:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:13:08Speaker 00

  It learned to protect itself. You've learned to protect, there's so much at stake for you because everyone's gone, that you can't afford for anybody else to leave. Do you see that?

• 2:13:22Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:13:23Speaker 00

  That's so much fucking pressure.

• 2:13:25Speaker 03

  It is.

• 2:13:27Speaker 00

  It's unfair. It wasn't that little girl's fault.

• 2:13:32Speaker 00

  I'm here listening. I'm with you. And you have the opportunity to afford that for yourself now. And whether people like with Lizbeth, whether people listen to her voice or not, it doesn't matter anymore for her. Of course she wants them to, but if they're not there, like one of my lines for myself so early on to Andre's question about these moments I've had, I realized how much when I was younger, I tried to prove myself. I tried to show people how funny I was, cool I was, smart I was, whatever. Like in England, we call it like a little bit of a poser, right? Like, I was a great soccer player, but I was so great that I didn't have to show off too much, but I wanted to make sure that you could see how good, like it was fucking exhausting. So you fucking see me or you don't, right? And so I came up with this line. It's like, if you can't see me, it's not my job to show you.

• 2:14:17Speaker 00

  Do you see the power in that?

• 2:14:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:14:20Speaker 00

  So stop trying to get people to see you and you see you.

• 2:14:25Speaker 00

  You love you. I promise you, you will have a line of suit as you never, ever could possibly imagine when you're okay with you, including the part of you that's hard on yourself. Because nobody here apart from you is hard on themselves.

• 2:14:41Speaker 00

  Right? Everybody's just mastered self love.

• 2:14:45Speaker 03

  It's easy.

• 2:14:47Speaker 00

  So what's the opportunity for Darby now?

• 2:14:54Speaker 00

  Who'd you get to be from this, from this conversation moving forward?

• 2:14:59Speaker 03

  I don't know. I think I have to take it all a lot less seriously.

• 2:15:04Speaker 00

  Sounds like a little more joy.

• 2:15:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:15:07Speaker 00

  Careful.

• 2:15:09Speaker 03

  Careful.

• 2:15:10Speaker 00

  And if you're not taking it so seriously, what might that mean in the way you relate to yourself?

• 2:15:15Speaker 03

  I'll give myself a break. I won't be so hard on myself.

• 2:15:18Speaker 00

  That sounds like a miserable life, but anyway. Pan at it.

• 2:15:24Speaker 00

  Okay. And if you're not so hard on yourself and you're having a little bit more fun, what might become available?

• 2:15:29Speaker 03

  Everything, everything can loosen up and become available.

• 2:15:32Speaker 00

  Right? That's all you're here to discover. It's all made up.

• 2:15:38Speaker 03

  I know.

• 2:15:43Speaker 00

  You're just really good at making up worst case scenarios.

• 2:15:47Speaker 00

  I remember when I started working with some of my athletes 20 years ago, one of my golfers, he was on the trajectory. We ended up tripling his winnings, right? If you're a company and you triple your winnings in 18 months, that's pretty significant, right? But one of the catalysts for him is like three months into our work together, he sent me a text one day, just as he'd like gone from like missing cuts, missing cuts, missing cuts to like a top 10, like not making any money to suddenly picking up a quarter of a million bucks for doing something that he loved. He said, I just got it. This is his text. I just got it. It comes down to whoever has the best imagination.

• 2:16:25Speaker 00

  That girl had a lot of time to create worst case scenarios as part of her imagination.

• 2:16:32Speaker 00

  Lizbeth made up the belief through her imagination that her voice carries no weight, so then it didn't.

• 2:16:39Speaker 00

  Kalin believed through his imagination that he has no power, that he can't upset people. And so that's the way it is. And so it is. And you made up through your beautiful imagination that there's something wrong with you. There must be because all these people leave. Clearly it's your fault. So I'll start working on myself.

• 2:17:02Speaker 00

  I hate to be the one to break it too, Darby. There's nothing wrong with you.

• 2:17:07Speaker 00

  And even the part of you that thinks there is, is one of your most beautiful attributes.

• 2:17:14Speaker 00

  Because it makes you human.

• 2:17:17Speaker 00

  Are you willing to join us?

• 2:17:19Speaker 03

  Definitely.

• 2:17:20Speaker 00

  In your beautifully flawed self?

• 2:17:23Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 2:17:24Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 2:17:25Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 2:17:35Speaker 00

  Okay. Who could relate to that? Any of you like here with slightly disillusional idea that there's something wrong with you?

• 2:17:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, I told you at the beginning, you're all fucked.

• 2:17:46Speaker 00

  I'm such an inspirational speaker.

• 2:17:53Speaker 00

  It's your best, it's your greatest part. Like I think sometimes it's so funny, we get so spiritual that we forget the most spiritual thing you can do is be fully human.

• 2:18:04Speaker 00

  Be here. You signed up to feel and experience, not get it right. Imagine going back to the gods, like with all of us, like, you know, as this luminous, beautiful light bodies. It's like, man, did you feel shame? Fuck, that was fucking, that was awesome. No, I voided the shit out of that. Oh, you missed out, you know, right? It's like, feel it all.

• 2:18:28André Duqum?

  You guys feel like you've embraced a little bit more of yourself today?

• 2:18:35André Duqum?

  Man, it's a, it's a gift to have you in the space and just as a brother, you know, you like, every time we're together, it's just nonstop play and jokes. And to me, that lightness, that childlike joy is what's available on the other side of the, of all these things inside of us.

• 2:18:50Speaker 00

  Absolutely.

• 2:18:51André Duqum?

  And so thank you for the gift of your presence and you're an incredible listener.

• 2:18:56Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 2:18:56André Duqum?

  And I think that is a quality that is radically transformative of all of our relationships. And it's a, it's a great thing to model and to take inspiration from.

• 2:19:06Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 2:19:08André Duqum?

  It's a, you've been doing this for a while and I'm just so excited for you as your book eventually gets released, as your masterminds and your work continues to spread.

• 2:19:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:19:19André Duqum?

  And it is, it was just your birthday.

• 2:19:22Speaker 00

  It was two days ago, yeah.

• 2:19:27André Duqum?

  Yeah. Can we sing Peter a little happy birthday?

• 2:19:28Speaker 00

  Let's fucking go.

• 2:19:29André Duqum?

  Let's go.

• 2:19:30Speaker 00

  None of this cheap, oh, really? So rude.

• 2:19:42Speaker 00

  Come on, we're free.

• 2:19:55Speaker 00

  And many more.

• 2:20:00Speaker 00

  Thank you, guys. You know what is so beautiful in terms of the world of manifestation? Very similar to Darby, you know, I told my story a little bit. Thank you. You gonna eat it?

• 2:20:11Speaker 00

  I'm working on my figure. I can't touch it.

• 2:20:16Speaker 00

  Orphan at a young age. Mum dies when I'm seven, dad dies when I'm seventeen. So very much the world that I lived in, the orientation to my own nervous system was I'm alone, right? Like, literally. So it became very convincing, very similar to what Darby was sharing. So it's definitely all up to me. So yesterday I got like, you know, two plus hundred people singing me "Happy Birthday" at my live event. Last year I was in London, we had an arena of like 550 people singing me for my birthday.

• 2:20:41André Duqum?

  So we're not enough, is basically what you're saying.

• 2:20:42Speaker 00

  Basically, so whatever you got from the conversation that you're all amazing, let's just go straight back to you're all completely inadequate.

• 2:20:51Speaker 00

  Especially collectively. So what's so beautiful is a living example of how I am part of this with you, right? I never like to put myself on a pedestal. And one of the things I really take pride in is as much as my star continues to rise and I get stopped in the most, the strangest of places, like walking through airports at a fucking random cave in Ibiza, three people like doing some ceremony. And they're like, Peter Crone? I'm like, what the fuck?

• 2:21:16Speaker 00

  The thing that I love is that I really take pride in the fact that I just, I don't like to be the prophet, right? Like, I love to be with it. Like, last night, there was like 70 people lined up, hugs, photos, selfies, you know? Like, I've gone to people, peers, friends of mine that I work with do events and not naming names, but you know, they've sort of become removed, right? And so I just really want to acknowledge this moment for myself with you that this is something that wasn't previously available to Peter Crone of old, right? That I would be by myself, would justify it. It's okay. I don't need to be with people. I've become so good at being by myself. And so it's really just so nice that my life is starting to emulate what I really speak to, which is unity consciousness, right?

• 2:22:00Speaker 00

  That I can celebrate me and life, good and bad, with people. So thank you for being here and celebrating me, because that was something that I typically would have shunned and made it like a sort of a highfaluting version of like, I'm totally self-sufficient, right? So thank you for being here with me. It's your kind words, my friend. It's a beautiful evening. Thank you for entrusting me with your stories. The three people who kindly shared, I hope you all got something from it. But you're listening, I can tell the amount of attention that you're giving me, which really is not lost on me. It's very meaningful. And one of like what Andre said, you know, one of the gifts that I really love is listening. And for those of you who want to understand, listening, people like, dude, how'd you remember? How, like, it's on the other side of survival, right?

• 2:22:45Speaker 00

  So 2.0 inherent is the capacity to listen, because listening is a byproduct of presence. And if you're in survival mode, you can't fully be present. So if you struggle with names, if you struggle to, you know, remember where you left whatever it is or what you wanted to do, just consider maybe you're just too busy trying to survive. And perhaps give your grace, give yourself grace, it's okay, and just to slow down. So first of all, thank you for being with me. Thank you for giving me your attention. I know I download quickly and for some people that can be a little overwhelming, but trust that subconsciously you've imbibed what you needed to get. And otherwise, you can find me. And if you're interested in the 2.0 world that I'm revealing, I would love for you to all come and join, so.

• 2:23:28André Duqum?

  Beautiful.

• 2:23:29Speaker 00

  Thank you. And thank you for the singing.

• 2:23:34Speaker 00

  Beautiful to be with you all.

• 2:23:36André Duqum?

  I believe we have some, we have some treats. We have some cake to share, so.

• 2:23:40Speaker 00

  Whoa, let's fucking go.

• 2:23:44André Duqum?

  It's all of our birthdays.

• 2:23:46Speaker 00

  Yes. It's your spiritual birthdays.

• 2:23:52Speaker 00

  Okay, amazing.

• 2:23:53André Duqum?

  All right, amazing. Wait, let's do an outro. You guys, can I do that?

• 2:23:57Speaker 00

  Okay, yeah. Don't fuck it up.

• 2:23:59André Duqum?

  Yeah, yeah, I'll try, I'll try my best. Just everyone keeps walking in front of the camera.

• 2:24:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay, yeah, stop.

• 2:24:05André Duqum?

  Everybody, thank you so much. No, see, it happened again.

• 2:24:09André Duqum?

  It's okay.

• 2:24:11André Duqum?

  This is a podcast, guys. I have a job to do here, okay?

• 2:24:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, trying to make some money. I don't want to become an Uber driver.

• 2:24:20André Duqum?

  But it would be okay.

• 2:24:23André Duqum?

  Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of the Know thyself Podcast. It's been a joy to have you with us, Peter, and everybody in the live audience. And until next time, be well. We did it. That's it.

• 2:24:36Speaker 00

  Let's go. Let's fucking live. Let's be completely flawed.