LIVE! Professor Green Teaches Joe Marler to Rap

Joe, Jake and Janet pack up the studio and take it on the road for a special live episode from Bristol Beacon. The first half of the show was all about getting to know the audience (stay tuned for that still to come), and in the second half, the legendary Professor Green joined for a chat. He opens up about the story behind his stage name and whether it still feels like the right fit today. He also talks about fatherhood, the joy it’s brought him and his son asking him about being famous. There’s a lesson in rap for Joe, as Professor Green attempts to teach him the art of spitting bars. Whether Joe is a natural remains to be seen. And just when you think things couldn’t get any more unpredictable, the final exercise leaves Jake in a rather precarious position... Get tickets to see Professor Green live on tour here: https://tinyurl.com/53h667k8 Sign up for bonus episodes, ad-free episodes and exclusive content via Patreon: www.patreon.com/cw/JoeMarlerWillSeeYouNow Featuring Joe Marler (@joemarler17) and Jake Bhardwaj (@jakebhardwajtv) Follow the show on Instagram: @willseeyounowshow Joe Marler Will See You Now is a Platform Media production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:29Speaker 01

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• 1:01Speaker 02

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• 1:38Speaker 03

  Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back your host, Jake Bobos and me!

• 1:52Speaker 04

  Whoa, where am I?

• 1:55Speaker 05

  Apparently it's just me.

• 1:57Speaker 04

  Hold this.

• 1:59Speaker 05

  I've got to do some filling.

• 1:59Speaker 04

  Hello, everyone!

• 2:02Speaker 05

  Fuck, what's that then?

• 2:03Speaker 04

  I didn't know we were going to go on that quickly. I forgot my kneepads.

• 2:07Speaker 05

  It's important you have that.

• 2:08Speaker 04

  I'll explain later, I'll explain later. Did everyone have a good break? Yeah! Jake, you have a good break? Yep, yes, thank you.

• 2:18Speaker 05

  Did you have a good break? Where did you go?

• 2:20Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 2:21Speaker 05

  Where did you go?

• 2:22Speaker 04

  Honestly, I forgot these. And now I've got them, so that's fine.

• 2:25Speaker 05

  We'll put them on.

• 2:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I will do. Oh my gosh. So, the first half was all about us getting to know you. The second half is all about our incredible guest, Professor Green!

• 2:39Speaker 04

  Box office stuff, this, this is proper.

• 2:41Speaker 05

  Now, we always do like intake questionnaire, don't we?

• 2:44Speaker 04

  Quickfire, just to sort of get a picture of what the guest's needs might be in the doctor's office.

• 2:49Speaker 05

  Shall we, shall we get maybe one or two from this lot? If they fancy...

• 2:53Speaker 04

  And add it into here?

• 2:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:55Speaker 04

  Beautiful, love it.

• 2:56Speaker 05

  Shall we do that?

• 2:56Speaker 04

  Let's do it. Top row, very top. Anyone got a burning question they want to ask Professor Green? You can get that in the show tonight. Who did it include though? Who did it include though, Professor Green? Very good stuff. That's good. It's lovely stuff, it's lovely stuff. Anyone from the middle row? Would you rather have a finger for a tongue or tongues for fingers?

• 3:20Speaker 04

  That might be the most Bristol thing that's ever happened to me.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Right, I've got one. Would you rather have fingers for tongues, toes, or toes for fingers?

• 3:32Speaker 05

  No, he said tongues.

• 3:33Speaker 04

  Did he say tongues? Oh, well, suddenly it's got interesting.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Fingers for tongues or tongues for fingers?

• 3:42Speaker 05

  Did you think he said fingers for toes and toes for fingers?

• 3:45Speaker 04

  Fingers for fingers and toes for, yeah. This is very exciting. Yeah, let's put that in, let's put that in. Any others?

• 3:52Speaker 04

  Hey?

• 3:53Speaker 05

  Oh, good one. When's he next doing a gig? How am I the one who's better than hearing out of us two? Look at the state of them, mate. Look at them. I have to park them to hear and you're going, "What did they say? What did they say?"

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Oh, okay, what did they say?

• 4:07Speaker 04

  Whoa, whoa, I don't know what the Mr. Bean stuff is.

• 4:11Speaker 04

  Unnecessary. Okay, right, let's kick off then.

• 4:16Speaker 05

  Well, before we do, if we're going to invite a guest on, they need somewhere to sit, so you're going to have to go...

• 4:28Speaker 05

  It doesn't mean you're not valued, it just means...

• 4:30Speaker 04

  It's all right, it's where I belong.

• 4:32Speaker 05

  We need someone to Google stuff.

• 4:34Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  Yes, okay, here we are.

• 4:37Speaker 05

  Well, we can, but we can...

• 4:40Speaker 05

  I don't like it when you...

• 4:41Speaker 04

  Oh, mate, really?

• 4:48Speaker 05

  Now we're like doing it together.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  The first episode we ever did was with Lucy Beaumont. And I was, so normally I'm behind Joe, but for Lucy Beaumont, I was behind her, like maybe... Here? And then Joe was, you remember, you were chatting to Lucy about something and you were chatting, chatting, chatting, and you were like, "Oh, I wonder what Jake thinks." And she was like, "Who's Jake?"

• 5:11Speaker 04

  And I'm there for Mr. Bean. Hello, Lucy.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  Ridiculous.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  Right. Ladies and gents.

• 5:22Speaker 05

  Hang on, hang on, hang on. You've got to get it in order, do you know, mate? He's, he's a big deal, isn't he?

• 5:26Speaker 04

  He's a big deal, potentially the biggest deal of our entire tour.

• 5:29Speaker 05

  He needs a builder.

• 5:30Speaker 04

  And we are going to get him in with some serious Bristol energy. Up top, you're going to start the energy going right from the back, up top, clapping. Louder, louder! Introduce the whooping and the cheering. Middle floor, you're going to join in now. Side as well. Shake the building. Louder, fucking louder! Right for the buck in the middle, louder! Free your moment, side as well. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go! Professor Green!

• 6:03Speaker 05

  Right. Lovely.

• 6:06Speaker 04

  Hello, mate!

• 6:08Speaker 05

  Hello, mate. Hello, Bristol.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  Wow!

• 6:13Speaker 05

  What an entrance that was. Great energy from you lot. Jake, that was a great build-up. Lovely, that was, yeah, really lovely.

• 6:18Speaker 04

  Thank you, thank you. Well done.

• 6:21Speaker 05

  Professor Green.

• 6:23Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 6:24Speaker 05

  You know, we're a... You know, one professor to another.

• 6:29Speaker 06

  Both, both medical.

• 6:34Speaker 05

  It's your first time in the doctor's office? How are you feeling about it?

• 6:37Speaker 06

  It's my first time in this doctor's office.

• 6:40Speaker 05

  Good, okay. Does it scare you that it's this doctor's office then? Doctor!

• 6:48Speaker 04

  Remember what we said about NHS in crisis?

• 6:52Speaker 06

  I might just call 111.

• 6:56Speaker 05

  Right, the first thing we ask every client to do is an intake questionnaire so we can maybe establish a theme or something we can assist you with.

• 7:06Speaker 06

  Wicked.

• 7:07Speaker 05

  Are you ready to begin?

• 7:08Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 05

  Okay, great. Full name?

• 7:11Speaker 06

  Stephen Paul Manderson.

• 7:19Speaker 06

  Stephen with a P H. Manderson, M A N D E R S O N. Anderson with an O at the front.

• 7:27Speaker 05

  What about Paul?

• 7:31Speaker 06

  It's my uncle's name.

• 7:33Speaker 05

  No, how do you spell it?

• 7:34Speaker 06

  Oh, P A U L.

• 7:42Speaker 05

  Fucking hell. Where'd Professor Green come from then?

• 7:48Speaker 06

  I was at my mate's house. And it was, it was probably a Friday night and we were all, as we normally were, stoned. And one of my mates said something about weed and I corrected him quite sternly. And he went, "What do you think you are? Some sort of professor, Professor Green?" And, and it stuck.

• 8:07Speaker 05

  And that stuck from that?

• 8:09Speaker 06

  Well, I also used to

• 8:13Speaker 06

  do weird stuff with my hands, no.

• 8:16Speaker 04

  Were you a magician?

• 8:19Speaker 06

  Like, give things out and take money off people.

• 8:25Speaker 06

  Do you know?

• 8:25Speaker 04

  Did you work for HMRC?

• 8:31Speaker 06

  No. If this was live TV, pre-watershed, I would have said, "I was a keen horticulturalist." And it would have took him a... And then it would have took him a second and they would have gone, "All right, let's move on."

• 8:46Speaker 05

  Not Professor Pot?

• 8:50Speaker 04

  That's Alan Titchmarsh.

• 8:53Speaker 06

  Or Professor Plum. That was fucking Cluedo ever asked him.

• 8:58Speaker 05

  That was our next question.

• 9:03Speaker 04

  He got their thoughts. Nice.

• 9:04Speaker 05

  A star sign.

• 9:08Speaker 06

  If I say Leo, will you say I can really see why you're a Leo?

• 9:11Speaker 05

  Well, I don't know. What are you going to say?

• 9:13Speaker 06

  Well, I'm not, I'm a Sagittarius, but I...

• 9:17Speaker 04

  Are you adventurous, honest and generous?

• 9:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  That's apparently Sagittarius.

• 9:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, absolutely. What are the negative aspects of my, my personality?

• 9:25Speaker 04

  I'll find out, actually. Negative aspects of Sagittarius. Too inquisitive is one of them.

• 9:37Speaker 05

  Ooh.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  Restlessness, blunt and sometimes an unfiltered communication style.

• 9:43Speaker 06

  As you said.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 9:45Speaker 06

  I don't know what the fuck you're on about.

• 9:48Speaker 04

  I've got a question, actually. So you were like an expert in weed, Professor Green.

• 9:52Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  Now that you're, that's not part of your life, if you were, say, you're a mastermind, what would your specialist subject, what are you an expert in now?

• 9:58Speaker 06

  Fucking hell. All the time I've spent in actual doctors' offices, probably psychology.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  Psychology?

• 10:06Speaker 04

  Teach him anything, or something?

• 10:07Speaker 06

  You're not after this job, are you? No, I'm a believer in that having a degree doesn't necessarily mean that you should practise. I think psychologists should have enough self-awareness to assess whether or not they've got the personality type to actually sit in a room with people they don't know and be trusted with. Their deepest and darkest secrets. And to meet them at a place where they can help them.

• 10:30Speaker 06

  So no, I don't want you.

• 10:31Speaker 04

  Sagittarius.

• 10:34Speaker 06

  Autism.

• 10:41Speaker 05

  You are way more qualified for this. You know what?

• 10:46Speaker 04

  Whoa, he's never done that before.

• 10:48Speaker 06

  It's big.

• 10:49Speaker 05

  What's something people often get wrong about you?

• 10:52Speaker 06

  My height.

• 10:53Speaker 05

  Your height?

• 10:54Speaker 06

  I bump into people. It happened here. I arrived here and the first person I bumped into went, "God, you're taller than I thought." And I don't really know what to say to that, right? Because it's not as awkward as someone saying something nice, but it's also, it's not horrible. But it doesn't, I'm like, well, what do I... It's not a conversation starter.

• 11:15Speaker 06

  How do you respond? "God, you're taller than I thought."

• 11:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I like that response. I really appreciate it. I'd go, "Well, yeah, cool. What a cool thing to say. Thanks." Just accept it and go, "Your observation skills are fucking strong."

• 11:30Speaker 06

  But that's kind of what I, yeah.

• 11:33Speaker 05

  How tall are you?

• 11:34Speaker 06

  Sixteen.

• 11:35Speaker 05

  Fucking hell, you're tall.

• 11:39Speaker 05

  Do you have any party tricks?

• 11:46Speaker 06

  No.

• 11:48Speaker 05

  No party tricks? You got any party tricks?

• 11:54Speaker 04

  Do you know what? Someone taught me how to do the bagpipes with your voice. Wait, stop. Pause the music a second, please, Tom.

• 11:59Speaker 05

  That'll make a difference.

• 12:00Speaker 04

  So, so if you guys, if you guys just go...

• 12:07Speaker 04

  Now, at the same time, go...

• 12:36Speaker 05

  Right, here's a more serious question. Would you rather have a finger for a tongue?

• 12:44Speaker 05

  Or tongues for fingers?

• 12:47Speaker 06

  I feel like I could probably repurpose a finger as a tongue.

• 12:57Speaker 06

  Better than I could a tongue as all eight fingers.

• 13:01Speaker 05

  You say that.

• 13:06Speaker 05

  It's, I like how we've both gone there straight away.

• 13:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 13:16Speaker 04

  If your tongues are fingers, you're tasting everything.

• 13:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, but your tongues are still, your tongue is still...

• 13:21Speaker 06

  You wouldn't want to put your hands on the escalator, would you?

• 13:29Speaker 06

  Give your tube seat a brush.

• 13:34Speaker 05

  Who fucking asked that question? I didn't think it through until it came out.

• 13:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, money's worth, though, from the scented Andrex. That's nice, isn't it?

• 13:47Speaker 05

  Right, okay. Right, Stephen. You've had the same name since you were sixteen.

• 13:55Speaker 05

  Unfortunately, it was based on a substance you now hate. You know, you're not, you're not doing the ganja no more. You're not, you're not popping the pot.

• 14:04Speaker 04

  Why, why are you doing the gesture of someone sucking someone off? That's... What's that about?

• 14:09Speaker 05

  No, you're not, um...

• 14:11Speaker 04

  It's worse.

• 14:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, okay. You're not smoking the reefer. What, I don't know, mate. I'm only, I only do the old...

• 14:22Speaker 05

  I don't know this shit. I'm just straight in it.

• 14:24Speaker 04

  Steroids.

• 14:24Speaker 05

  What?

• 14:28Speaker 05

  That's mental. That is mental. This is being filmed, you prick.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 14:37Speaker 05

  No, it's not.

• 14:40Speaker 05

  You used to sell weed, as you said, and you used to battle rapers.

• 14:44Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:45Speaker 05

  But now you're sober, you're a dad.

• 14:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:48Speaker 05

  You cook Sunday roasts and you're sometimes in bed before the one show is finished. Like, some would say, like, you're really...

• 14:54Speaker 06

  What time does the one show finish?

• 14:55Speaker 05

  It's early.

• 14:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:56Speaker 05

  How early?

• 14:57Speaker 06

  I go to bed with my son quite often.

• 14:59Speaker 05

  Early?

• 14:59Speaker 06

  We'll fall asleep, yeah. We go upstairs, start the wind down at six, read to him, I keep... He's just turned a corner where I can read proper stories to him now, so like, he's well into the, you know what I mean? He wants to know what is gonna happen next in that story. He actually pays attention versus just learning rhymes in books. And I think, like, I don't really have much of an education outside of life. I stopped going to school probably when I was thirteen, to be honest, a long time before that, but my great-grandmother used to read to me religiously and I don't really, it's quite embarrassing to admit at the ripe old age of forty-two and being a dad who's now trying to parent and instill some sort of education in my kid, but I don't really understand words as well by way of definition as I do within context, because I learnt a lot of

• 15:42Speaker 06

  the words that I use, even now probably, from reading and from listening to her. And she gave me a love for reading and therefore a love for language and, you know, from conversations. I'm always picking up bits and bobs, so I know how to use words by way of context, but can't always explain the definition of them. So there's been a lot of funny moments for my kid recently. He's like, "Dad, what does that mean?" And I'm like, "Yeah."

• 16:05Speaker 06

  But it's really wicked to pass on that love of, of reading and just really nurture his imagination, so.

• 16:16Speaker 05

  I, um, I think I want you to be my dad. Would that be weird?

• 16:21Speaker 06

  No, I mean, I, do you know what? I feel like, this is probably the only intersection of like what it's like to get a job and what it's like to become a dad, the first time at least, I guess. I've only ever become a dad once. But like, you grow into your role, don't you? Or when you get a promotion, it can take you a bit of time to really know what you're doing in that role. And I feel like that was definitely the case with me becoming a dad. I didn't know my head from my ass. My dad weren't around, so I didn't have an example of what it was to be a dad, which is good and bad. I've probably escaped, you know, parenting in the way he might have parented. But it felt quite abstract, not really having that example of a, you know, a solid. And I know a lot of people have dads who were present and not present, which does its

• 17:04Speaker 06

  own kind of harm, you know, or is harmful in its own way, but it was definitely, I mean, it's crazy to say, like, I became a dad and that felt abstract in the beginning, but I feel like I've really grown right into it now and it's the best thing in the fucking world.

• 17:19Speaker 05

  Unbelievable. That, that is a, that is a lovely way for me to try and get to know who you are now.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  Rather than who you are as Professor Green. So let's begin with that, shall we?

• 17:31Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 17:32Speaker 05

  I'm glad he said yes. Is that, does that work?

• 17:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, it works for me. Yeah, yeah, definitely. As long as I'm getting paid, that's what it is.

• 17:41Speaker 06

  Sake.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  We don't need the jingle twice. Stop it. This is about vacation inflation and how Priceline negotiates amazing deals on hotels, flights and rental cars.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I didn't mention that you can save up to 60% off hotels in the Priceline app.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  Fine. No one deals more deals than... Please stop. Touche. Priceline.

• 19:00Speaker 05

  Were there any other names in the running? Like Professor Green, obviously that was like, it wasn't, most nicknames come from shit stories. Don't they, like random? And when you tell them out loud, you go, it's as simple as that, really. Like, Brown Bean is a shit story. Someone just put you in that suit and you went, and I went, oh my God, you look well like Mr. Bean. And he went, obviously I'm brown. And I went, yeah, I didn't lead with that.

• 19:28Speaker 05

  I didn't lead with that.

• 19:30Speaker 06

  I didn't think Fish was a shit story. I thought that was quite...

• 19:34Speaker 04

  Joe Fish?

• 19:34Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  That was very sweet.

• 19:36Speaker 06

  And do you know why? It's because I've got a parallel and that's kind of how I relate to people. And my boy would say, he used to mispronounce downstairs, he'd say stunnedairs. And it like, it was the cutest thing ever. And he also, he still, and I'm gonna hold on to this for as long as I possibly can. He won't walk down the stairs. If I start walking downstairs in the morning before him, he's like, no daddy, come back up, come back up. You have to hold my hand. And he'd hold my hand and he just goes, can we go stunnedairs? And I'd be like, please don't ever change how you say that. And now it's downstairs and those little things start disappearing. You know, I'm sure you can say Joseph now, can't you?

• 20:18Speaker 05

  There's me settling in going, oh my God.

• 20:21Speaker 04

  To be fair, he had to shorten it to Joe, so we don't know.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  Plus, you never heard you say Joseph.

• 20:28Speaker 05

  What do you do in order to get into that Professor Green persona? Or is it, is it not a persona, it's just literally a name change?

• 20:36Speaker 06

  Do you know what? It's the music. You know, I wrote most of the music sober, if not all, you know, nearly all of it sober. And performing it sober now as well is well different to all the years that I thought I needed to be drinking, to be doing what I was doing. Like it was, it just came with it. There's very few jobs where they're like, right, what bottles do you want on your rider? Like, who else shows up to work and, and begins by getting half pissed? It's weird.

• 21:07Speaker 06

  And I feel way more present now, like it's, so it's nice because I know it's me walking out on stage. It's not me and, or me because, it's just me. And I guess to answer it from a different perspective, like the songs have always been, from what I've either thought, felt or observed. And that was what all the musicians that I grew up listening to, that I favoured did, they wrote about what they thought, felt or observed. So when people talk about rap music, like it's full of bravado, that exists because, you know, it, it, there is a sport to it, you know, it is a craft. But there's another side to it that is, you know, when you think about the music of people like Biggie or Tupac,

• 21:48Speaker 06

  they were so sensitive and attuned to what they were going through themselves and the experiences of the people around them and the difficulties within that. And they had an ability to take all of that and condense it into this three and a half minutes that an entire world could relate to despite not understanding the social references. Because we didn't know about the shops they were talking about or the streets that they lived on, but we could relate emotionally. And I think that's, you know, that's probably what got me into rap.

• 22:15Speaker 05

  Because you...

• 22:16Speaker 04

  You are well good at talking.

• 22:20Speaker 04

  You are so good, that was, I could listen to that for hours.

• 22:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, but the bit, when you deliver, you are well good at talking.

• 22:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 05

  It's, it's you is.

• 22:33Speaker 05

  It's you is.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  That first time that you went out on stage without any of the other stuff? I know you say now it's liberating, was the first time scary or was it?

• 22:42Speaker 06

  That's the weirdest thing about it. It's like I walk out with that feeling of even nerves or excitement, depending on where I am in my day, let alone my life. And that settles within about two songs. And that, that nervous energy is kind of out there as well. So we all kind of settle at the same time and then the gig takes course and, and it's, yeah. I realise how much I actually love performing.

• 23:06Speaker 05

  Is, is there part of you, you mentioned, it's not really a persona anymore. It's like you out there. Is there part of you that goes, well, maybe I should just drop the Professor Green?

• 23:18Speaker 06

  It's weird. It was only, so last year, my kid was four and we were at Legoland and he comes up to me and dad, dad, dad. There was lots of queuing inevitably and also lots of people. And he was like, dad, dad. I was like, what? He's like, can I tell you something? I was like, yeah. He's like, you're famous. I was like, it didn't feel like a win. It was the weirdest thing in the world. It's like, there was a point in my life where I strived for this name to become something, for me to become something more than, to become somebody, right? As opposed to just someone, as if there's anything wrong with the idea of ordinary.

• 23:58Speaker 06

  And it was more, I think, trying to escape some of what I'd encountered in my, my earlier life. And it was, you know, it weren't an area, I always thought I wanted to get out of Hackney. It wasn't so, it wasn't a geographical area. It was social circumstances that I wanted to escape. And anyway, I've done all of this to become successful. And it's grown into this thing where I'm like, shit. Now he's, at the same time as, you know, he's gone dad, you're famous. He's gone, who's Professor Green? And I'm like, fuck. Yeah.

• 24:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:30Speaker 06

  Like I've wanted this, I've wanted everyone to know this name and now I'm like, but not him. Which is so weird because that name has given him, it's given me so much more opportunity. And it's done some good. It's also done some bad. There's probably things that I've done as Stephen I wish I could hand off to Professor Green and some things that Professor Green's done that I wish neither of us had fucking done.

• 24:53Speaker 06

  I've thought about it. I thought, but what do I call myself? Stephen?

• 25:00Speaker 04

  With a P A.

• 25:01Speaker 06

  With a C H.

• 25:04Speaker 05

  Would you prefer it with a V?

• 25:05Speaker 06

  Nah, fuck, don't call me Steve. I've got nothing to get...

• 25:09Speaker 04

  Steve-o. Steve-o. Let's not get him doing that.

• 25:14Speaker 05

  Did he also, did your lad maybe also get confused? Like, why haven't, why have I got a different surname to you? Like, what, and your first name's Professor? That's a fucking weird first name, isn't it?

• 25:26Speaker 06

  Yeah, you can see why it didn't feel like a win, you know. It was just weird. I just, I'd never, I don't know, I just didn't expect it to happen. I didn't expect it to happen then, but he's got a real, he understands what I do for a job. In the same way, you know, he's got his head around the fact his mum plays different characters on TV and film and stuff. And it's his normal. And he loves music, which is a win because we do a lot of driving, you know. I've got very into exploring England since I've had a kid. And I mean, we spend a lot of time in the car. And fortunately he likes music, which keeps me out. I mean, it does mean I need to play, I have to play certain songs over and over.

• 26:05Speaker 04

  What's he into? What does he like?

• 26:07Speaker 06

  Michael Jackson, They Don't Care About Us is up there. I've heard that song more times than I thought I ever would.

• 26:15Speaker 06

  Alanis Morissette.

• 26:16Speaker 04

  What are you doing there, Joe Troy?

• 26:18Speaker 05

  That's it, isn't it? That's the begin, like.

• 26:23Speaker 05

  Is it that one?

• 26:24Speaker 04

  I think that's Earth Song, what you're doing.

• 26:27Speaker 05

  Yes, is that the one? When he's stuck between the trees, like.

• 26:31Speaker 06

  All I wanna say is that they don't really care about us. Enough is enough for these people. And he does all the little ad-... He can sing the whole songs front to back. It's, his ability to hear things and learn them is, is wicked. Seeing some, you've got kids. Seeing someone that you've had, well, hopefully had a part in making, learn.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  You were there, weren't you, for a bit of it?

• 27:01Speaker 05

  You've now planted a seed.

• 27:04Speaker 04

  Which hopefully you did too.

• 27:09Speaker 05

  There's certain times where I was away for long periods of time and it doesn't add up with two of them. Which is why I've only got Jasper and Maggie on my bottom. So, thank you for reminding me of, of the truth.

• 27:30Speaker 05

  The ability to rap. Was that natural to you? Or did you like... Have you like worked hard? Hang on, that's not me blitting it. But how did you know that you could rap?

• 27:42Speaker 06

  So, I was again at Adam Deacon's house. And it was a similar situation to what it always was. And all my mates were a bit older and a lot cooler. And they had been making music from the ages of like 12 and 13. I was 18 at the time, so they were probably 19. And they were freestyling. So freestyling is when you miss improv. It's making it up on the spot. And they were kind of cussing each other. So they were taking the mickey out of each other, which leans into rap battling. And I think it was David, I think it was Alf who said something to me. And then I rapped a lyric back cussing him. I went bright red in the face, wanted to hide under the table, but I was too tall and it was too small.

• 28:24Speaker 06

  And it just felt so awkward. And everyone was like, "What? You can rap?" And I was like, "Ooh, no." But then I sort of, I'd been listening. Like, music was my safe space. Headphones were my safe space.

• 28:42Speaker 06

  And not just rap music, but I really loved music. I just didn't think I had a creative bone in my body. It probably someone out there who's like, "You still don't..."

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Hi Jane, shut it.

• 28:54Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 28:56Speaker 06

  Rebecca?

• 28:59Speaker 06

  Sorry. But, yeah. And then I just, I went home and I just kind of thought, "Oh, if the people I listen to write about the things they think, feel and observe, then I'm just gonna try and, you know, how hard can it be?" And I got really obsessively into it. But I realised quite quickly that I didn't really like writing things down. So I still freestyle now. If I'm in the studio, I just walk around waving my hands, making things up until something clicks. And then I'll record it. And then that's how I, that's just how I...

• 29:29Speaker 05

  If there was someone who wanted to get into rap, like you had to, if you had to do two or three, two main qualities someone needs to, the ability to rap.

• 29:37Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 29:40Speaker 06

  Um, timing.

• 29:41Speaker 05

  Timing.

• 29:42Speaker 06

  Yeah. And...

• 29:45Speaker 06

  Oh wait, I see where this is. I told you, this is the time where I struggle to read the room.

• 29:52Speaker 05

  The timing.

• 29:53Speaker 06

  Timing. And, um, ideas.

• 29:58Speaker 05

  Ideas.

• 29:58Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 30:03Speaker 06

  Joe, are you all interested in rap?

• 30:12Speaker 05

  Yo.

• 30:13Speaker 04

  Oh, no. Whenever it starts with a "yo".

• 30:19Speaker 05

  I heard you settled down. You found someone.

• 30:25Speaker 05

  That gave you things that I couldn't give to you. I heard that you...

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Oh, fucking hell. I didn't even know that's what you were doing. Is it, you're doing Adele?

• 30:37Speaker 06

  Joe Marlowe needs to go harder. Used to plant seeds and grow weeds. I'm no farmer. I don't, it's dayzzy.

• 30:47Speaker 05

  Okay, let's go. Whose was better?

• 30:52Speaker 05

  Someone's was original, someone's was...

• 30:54Speaker 04

  And we'll pop yours on the fridge.

• 30:58Speaker 05

  Fuck's sake.

• 31:02Speaker 05

  No, fuck off. Sorry, you're a wonderfully warm audience and I've really enjoyed you, but you can eat shit.

• 31:11Speaker 05

  There is no way I'm doing a rap.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  You can't tell someone to eat shit. Who's paid money to be here?

• 31:20Speaker 05

  Eat shit. I will definitely, whoever that was, I'm definitely...

• 31:23Speaker 04

  Don't start on them now as well. Sit down.

• 31:25Speaker 05

  I said I was gonna give him his money back. And the irony you said, "You can't tell someone to eat shit", when earlier you said, "If you had one meal for the rest of your life, it would be ass."

• 31:37Speaker 06

  That's basically rap battling.

• 31:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. That was sort of rap battling?

• 31:42Speaker 06

  Yeah, because he held on to something you said from earlier and he threw it right back at her. With content. That's pretty, like, that's...

• 31:49Speaker 05

  Yeah. You wanna go?

• 31:52Speaker 04

  Eat shit, mate, eat shit.

• 31:59Speaker 05

  You come across so incredible and eloquent as a father. And I really wanna test, um, that sort of persona, that part of you, that trait that you have. The best way I know how is by putting that under pressure. You know, let's find out if you're Professor Green still or you're Stephen PH. And the best way I know how is with the good old fashioned game of shove hate me.

• 32:30Speaker 04

  Does everyone know what shove hate me is? Who doesn't?

• 32:33Speaker 05

  Shove hate me is?

• 32:34Speaker 06

  Never played.

• 32:35Speaker 04

  It's like shuffleboard. It's like, it's that game with the coin where you try and flick it, but not get it too far.

• 32:39Speaker 05

  In the spirit of renaming things,

• 32:43Speaker 05

  I'm gonna call it shove Jake me. So instead of like shoving a coin and hitting a target...

• 32:49Speaker 06

  I thought it was gonna be some reference to the fact I used to rollerblade.

• 32:53Speaker 05

  You used to be a rollerblade? That's a whole nother episode. Instead of a coin, we're gonna use Jake.

• 33:01Speaker 06

  Oh, god.

• 33:03Speaker 05

  This is, that's yours. So that's gonna definitely be yours and it'll work. Safety first though, of course.

• 33:10Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 33:13Speaker 05

  Pop that one.

• 33:14Speaker 04

  This isn't humiliating at all.

• 33:17Speaker 05

  You made me wear a gladiators outfit where my left half...

• 33:20Speaker 04

  That's very true.

• 33:21Speaker 05

  Was in front of everyone.

• 33:23Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 33:24Speaker 05

  That is...

• 33:29Speaker 05

  That's the target.

• 33:30Speaker 06

  It's all quite precarious, isn't it?

• 33:31Speaker 05

  Okay, that's the target. Do you, you don't know how to play properly? I need to teach you, do I?

• 33:36Speaker 06

  Well, you'd have to hit the target. Hit the target hard.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  You can't get past the target. You've just gotta get close to the target.

• 33:44Speaker 06

  Right, so it's close to the target without touching it?

• 33:46Speaker 04

  Exactly that.

• 33:47Speaker 05

  No, no, you've just got, whoever's closest wins.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  We should have really ironed out the rules before 2,000 people were here, shouldn't we?

• 33:54Speaker 05

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna...

• 33:55Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 33:55Speaker 05

  I'm gonna shove Jake.

• 33:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 05

  And then you'll go.

• 33:58Speaker 06

  Cool.

• 33:59Speaker 04

  Fucking hell. It's just quite a big drop here. What I've now become aware of.

• 34:07Speaker 05

  If you win, um, you...

• 34:10Speaker 04

  If he wins what? Because right now it feels like no one's winning.

• 34:17Speaker 05

  If you win, you get to keep my name. And I have to neck a pint of milk.

• 34:21Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 34:21Speaker 05

  If you lose...

• 34:22Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 34:23Speaker 05

  I get to give you a new name.

• 34:25Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 34:25Speaker 05

  And you neck a pint of milk.

• 34:27Speaker 06

  Fine.

• 34:30Speaker 06

  It's only milk if it's milk, though. You know, none of that oat bollocks.

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:39Speaker 05

  Oh, he's written the audience. He's written it.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got some geezers in.

• 34:43Speaker 05

  Okay, Jake, please assume the position.

• 34:45Speaker 06

  What's the position?

• 34:51Speaker 05

  And...

• 34:54Speaker 05

  I need to ask, is it okay if I put my hand here?

• 34:57Speaker 06

  Yes. Okay. How you doing, Jake?

• 35:00Speaker 05

  I'm gonna get that. Um, Stephen?

• 35:03Speaker 04

  Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

• 35:04Speaker 05

  The only thing I'd say is smooth is fast. And fast is smooth.

• 35:08Speaker 06

  Smooth.

• 35:09Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 35:09Speaker 04

  So hurry up.

• 35:10Speaker 05

  What do you mean hurry up?

• 35:11Speaker 04

  Hurry up.

• 35:12Speaker 05

  Two.

• 35:13Speaker 06

  Great core strength.

• 35:15Speaker 05

  One.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 35:24Speaker 05

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

• 35:29Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 35:34Speaker 04

  That was even more terrifying.

• 35:41Speaker 05

  All right. Okay, there's the marker. This is where I got.

• 35:44Speaker 06

  Jake, do I have permission?

• 35:46Speaker 04

  You have permission, Professor Green.

• 35:47Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 35:48Speaker 05

  What is going on? Professor Green's grabbing me while I'm going...

• 35:59Speaker 05

  We have a winner!

• 36:08Speaker 05

  Fuck's sake.

• 36:14Speaker 04

  Go on, get it down you.

• 36:17Speaker 04

  Get it down you, Joe.

• 36:18Speaker 05

  Congratulations, you get to keep your name. Um, all of them. Professor Green, Stephen, Paul, Manderson, Anderson with an M.

• 36:27Speaker 06

  At the front.

• 36:28Speaker 05

  At the, at the front.

• 36:31Speaker 05

  He thinks I'm a thicky-thicky dum-dum.

• 36:34Speaker 04

  Go on, Joe, get that down you. Get that down you. Lots of support for Joe Marlowe, everyone.

• 36:44Speaker 04

  Oh dear. Oh my gosh.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  Oh, needless, really. At the end of every episode, we give our guests a band. We're going with new name Saint Legend. That's for you. And of course, a lollipop as well. We've gone with Green.

• 37:00Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 37:01Speaker 04

  Please, ladies and gentlemen of Bristol, huge round of applause for Professor Green!

• 37:10Speaker 05

  Massive round of applause for Jake Barwell!

• 37:14Speaker 04

  And a huge round of applause for Joe Marlowe!

• 37:21Speaker 05

  Bristol, you have been unbelievable. We love you today.

• 37:25Speaker 04

  Thank you so much, everybody.

• 37:43Speaker 00

  Welcome to the 50th Hunger Games. Witness the beginning of the revolution.

• 37:48Speaker 07

  Hey Mitch, you've been trying to take down these games from the start.

• 37:50Speaker 00

  Film for IMAX.

• 37:52Speaker 07

  Make them remember you.

• 37:54Speaker 00

  The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping, November 20th, rated PG-13.

• 38:00Speaker 02

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• 38:26Speaker 02

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