Pod Insights Joe Marler Will See You Now Maisie Adam Has an Identity Crisis (and a Very Embarrassing Dream) About this episode Comedian Maisie Adam joins Joe Marler for a consultation that spirals almost immediately.
Maisie talks about best-man speeches, competitiveness and the humbling reality of being known as “what’s-her-face”. Joe is on hand to fix her identity crisis, just as soon as he takes his foot out of his mouth after the most inappropriate intake form yet.
If Joe’s thorough methods were ever in doubt, topics covered include best-man speeches, nudist beaches and commercially successful steam locomotives.
Featuring @joemarler17 and @jakebhardwajtv
Follow the show on Instagram: @willseeyounowshow
Joe Marler Will See You Now is a Folding Pocket Production
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Transcript 7,724 words · 11 speakers
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1:30 Speaker 03 This episode of Joe Marlowe Will See You Now is brought to you by Giacomo. Style for every man, made simple.
1:39 Speaker 04 I've dream cheated. Who have you dream cheated with? Well, mine was Clive Myrie. Why? I don't know. I like Mastermind, but not that much. You're four years younger than me. Did you think I was... Way older. Wow, great, good to know. I didn't know there was a nudist beach at Brighton until I went for a walk. I just went for a walk and I was like, "What is happening here?" It was like being in The Butchers.
2:06 Speaker 03 Hello and welcome to my office. This is Joe Marler Will See You Now with me, Dr. Joe Marler. This is the show where I have a root around in the minds of celebrities and see if I can help them out along the way. With me is my assistant, Jake.
2:25 Speaker 05 Hello.
2:25 Speaker 03 Hi mate.
2:26 Speaker 05 Hello, you alright?
2:27 Speaker 03 What's that face?
2:28 Speaker 05 Well, it's the face of, I mean, this is Joe Marler Will See You Now.
2:31 Speaker 03 Yes, it is. This is Joe Marler Will See You Now.
2:33 Speaker 05 It feels like it's Old MacDonald Will See You Now. I don't know, what, what, this is a new look, isn't it? I don't know what's going on. For the benefit of the audio listener, there is something quite visually new here today, isn't there? Joe is wearing a flat cap.
2:49 Speaker 03 What's, what's the issue with my hat?
2:52 Speaker 05 No issue, it's just, why?
2:53 Speaker 03 Well, the face from you suggests there's an issue with my hat.
2:56 Speaker 05 It was a face of, why?
3:00 Speaker 03 Why not?
3:01 Speaker 05 Well.
3:02 Speaker 03 Is my riposte?
3:02 Speaker 05 Okay, and my riposte to you? Having just learnt the word after you saying it first? Is, for the last however many episodes, you've never worn one. You've looked delectable. You've matched the wonderful skeleton in the corner.
3:15 Speaker 03 Skeleton.
3:17 Speaker 05 We've laughed. The thing is, we've been through a big jo— I've, I've stayed looking like Asian Mr. Bean for the whole fucking thing.
3:22 Speaker 03 Yeah, and you do it so well.
3:23 Speaker 05 Thank you so much.
3:24 Speaker 03 Honestly.
3:24 Speaker 05 Seventy-one today, just saw that. Online.
3:29 Speaker 05 We've done so many, we've done so many episodes. Why the change of, why the change of outfit? I mean, it's not, it's not bad, I'm just interested.
3:34 Speaker 03 The short of it is, I wanna wear a fucking hat.
3:37 Speaker 05 Because?
3:38 Speaker 03 I like hats.
3:39 Speaker 05 And you particularly liked one today because?
3:41 Speaker 03 Because our guest is actually well-known for their hair.
3:49 Speaker 05 Yeah.
3:50 Speaker 03 And I didn't want there to be some sort of hair-off or intimidating of the hair.
3:57 Speaker 05 Yeah, are you having a bad hair day?
4:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:04 Speaker 05 Joe, tell me, what's your love language?
4:09 Speaker 05 Do you know the love languages?
4:10 Speaker 03 Don't question me on that. You can question me on horticulture, all you want. Because I know fuck all. You cannot question me on love language. We've got gifts.
4:23 Speaker 05 Yep, that's the one for arseholes, isn't it?
4:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's just too easy. That's not even, that's not love, is it? Unless the gift is...
4:34 Speaker 05 My body.
4:37 Speaker 03 Your body?
4:40 Speaker 03 What's it, no, I need...
4:42 Speaker 05 Unless the gift is like, darling, darling, tonight, I'm giving you the gift of my body.
4:47 Speaker 03 Okay, yeah, but clarify for me, do you mean your body as in, if I say my love language is gifting, and then I say to Daisy, I say, Daisy, the gift I'm giving to you tonight is Jake's body. Is that what you're meaning? If you're not up for it, me and Jake are still gonna crack on.
5:10 Speaker 03 You can use his cook chair, I think it's cuck chair.
5:13 Speaker 05 Cuck chair. It's not my cook chair, I'm not here making a pavlova. Well, I just thought I'd get something after, it's gonna be peckish, aren't we?
5:22 Speaker 03 It's so confusing for me though, Jake, because there's a town called Cuckfield near me, and it's spelt C-U-C-K, and it's pronounced Cookfield. You don't say cuckfield, so that's why I'm confused.
5:36 Speaker 05 I'm just imagining you now as a farmer of cucks, being like, alright guys, away now, away, away. But, down, down, down!
5:50 Speaker 05 So, guests today?
5:51 Speaker 03 Guests!
5:52 Speaker 05 I think you know them quite well.
5:53 Speaker 06 Do I?
5:54 Speaker 05 I think you do.
5:55 Speaker 06 Well, if you tell me who they are, I can answer that question.
5:58 Speaker 05 Is this your farmer voice?
6:00 Speaker 06 Maybe. It's also my ex-factor voice and my Santa voice.
6:04 Speaker 05 It's your voice for every profession, it's basically, it's your voice for, I mean, it would be your Joe Perstrani voice.
6:08 Speaker 06 Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to mourn Jake.
6:14 Speaker 05 Why, it could be my marriage, it could be anything. It could have been a ceremony for any pivotal moment in my life. That had to be the fucking death, didn't it?
6:23 Speaker 03 That was my... Yeah, but I couldn't do your marriage in my funeral voice.
6:27 Speaker 05 You thought it would be more likely that you would be conducting the sermon at my funeral than the idea that I could fucking find love and get married? You're a piece of fucking shit.
6:36 Speaker 03 Answer me this, then. Would you rather have me as your celebrant at your wedding? Or the purveyor of death at your funeral?
6:45 Speaker 05 I'd rather we just stayed in touch in a work capacity.
6:50 Speaker 03 Fair enough.
6:51 Speaker 05 Today's guest, you know her very well.
6:53 Speaker 03 Indeed.
6:54 Speaker 05 She is a comedian that does many, many, many other things. You have spent time with her on things like The Hits List. It's Maisie Adam, it's Maisie Adam. I've been doing some research, you've got a lot in common. Both funny. Both excelled in television game shows last year. Both got iconic hair, yours is covered up today. And also, I don't know if you knew this, you both live in Brighton.
7:15 Speaker 03 Brightonians. But we're not both seagulls, are we?
7:21 Speaker 05 She's not a Brighton fan, even though she lives in Brighton?
7:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, wild.
7:24 Speaker 05 She's a Leeds fan.
7:25 Speaker 03 She's a Leeds fan.
7:26 Speaker 05 That's a bit of an identity crisis issue there, isn't it? Like, she's from Leeds, but she lives in Brighton, but can't accept that she is a Brightonian, so she shouldn't really support Brighton?
7:33 Speaker 03 It really reminds me of the John Cusack film, Identity.
7:39 Speaker 05 Fine, your metaphors aren't very layered, are they? But yeah.
7:44 Speaker 05 It really reminds me of that film that's named after the thing you just said. Right, okay, yeah. I'm excited to see her, she's outside now, shall we get Maisie in?
7:52 Speaker 03 Get Maisie in!
7:53 Speaker 05 Get Maisie in!
7:55 Speaker 03 Oh, I've got to get her in.
7:56 Speaker 05 Oh yeah, so you need to get her in, yeah.
7:58 Speaker 03 Janet, my darling, please, get Maisie in!
8:03 Speaker 03 That's my normal voice. Just let Maisie in, pal.
8:15 Speaker 04 Thank you, Philip. Thank you. Thanks for the claps.
8:21 Speaker 03 Hi, Maisie.
8:22 Speaker 04 Hello.
8:22 Speaker 03 Welcome.
8:23 Speaker 04 How are you?
8:24 Speaker 03 I'm good.
8:24 Speaker 04 Good.
8:25 Speaker 03 More importantly, how are you?
8:26 Speaker 04 Good, I think.
8:27 Speaker 03 This is Jake.
8:28 Speaker 04 Yeah, hi Jake.
8:29 Speaker 05 Maisie, hi, how are you?
8:30 Speaker 04 Very well, thank you. How are you?
8:31 Speaker 05 I'm very well.
8:32 Speaker 04 I didn't know if we were allowed to reference you.
8:34 Speaker 05 Please, feel free to reference me or ignore me.
8:36 Speaker 04 But you're sat—
8:36 Speaker 03 We weren't allowed to reference my assistant who's sat in the room.
8:39 Speaker 05 Yeah, if I get too close, you can get quite angry. I mean, between him and Janet, it's a very toxic work environment.
8:43 Speaker 04 You look like you've fallen out.
8:45 Speaker 03 Um, me and Jakey?
8:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
8:46 Speaker 03 Jakey Wakey.
8:47 Speaker 05 It does look like I'm on, sort of like, the naughty step.
8:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, you do.
8:51 Speaker 03 That's not what he usually calls it.
8:52 Speaker 04 What do you call it normally?
8:54 Speaker 05 It has become colloquially known as, sort of, the office cuck chair.
8:58 Speaker 04 Oh, no, now this I can't have.
9:00 Speaker 03 Why?
9:01 Speaker 04 I don't like— I recently learnt what that is.
9:04 Speaker 03 What?
9:05 Speaker 04 A cuck chair.
9:06 Speaker 03 Interesting that you call it a cook chair.
9:08 Speaker 04 No, a cook ch— well—
9:10 Speaker 03 Because I called it a cook chair.
9:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
9:12 Speaker 03 And I was mocked by my assistant, Jake.
9:14 Speaker 04 Why? Why are you mocking—
9:16 Speaker 05 Because we're saying it wrong. A cook chair suggests you're, sort of, sat here, sort of, making a Waldorf salad.
9:19 Speaker 03 Waldorf salads?
9:20 Speaker 05 I don't know why it's the only food I could think—
9:21 Speaker 03 That's soup chair.
9:22 Speaker 05 It was— it was— honestly, I was like, oh, I need to be cooking something. It's the first food I could think of.
9:26 Speaker 04 What's the first thing?
9:27 Speaker 05 I'm sorry.
9:28 Speaker 04 For a cook to be doing—
9:29 Speaker 03 Can we delve into what a Waldorf— what makes it a Waldorf— apple?
9:32 Speaker 05 Apple—
9:33 Speaker 03 Walnut?
9:33 Speaker 05 Walnuts.
9:34 Speaker 03 Grapes?
9:35 Speaker 05 God, I'm just repeating you at this point. You know exactly what it is, yeah. Um, I— I think it's cuck because it comes from the Shakespearean word cuckold, which means to a— a man whose wife has gone off with someone else.
9:47 Speaker 04 Sorry, respectfully, Jake, that's the Waldorf salad.
9:49 Speaker 05 Sorry, yes, of course.
9:50 Speaker 04 Why— you can't— yeah, the— the ingredients you've just listed wouldn't—I don't think resemble cooking. That's just assembling a salad. Do not go on MasterChef if that's your plan.
10:02 Speaker 05 Maisie, you're coming on a very special day, and maybe because you're a very special, uh, patient, I suppose. You're the first patient that Joe's ever worn his, um, special hat for.
10:10 Speaker 04 Re— oh, really?
10:11 Speaker 05 Every episode we've done of this, Joe has been hatless. This is the first time any of us are seeing this hat. And for the audio listener, he's wearing a hat, so you can stop complaining.
10:22 Speaker 03 Because we don't know what we're talking about when we say hat. Obviously, he's got something on his head.
10:29 Speaker 04 Well, thank you for the hat.
10:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, do you like it?
10:31 Speaker 04 Yep, very nice.
10:32 Speaker 03 You're not one to wear hats, are you?
10:33 Speaker 04 No.
10:34 Speaker 03 No, because you've got a fabulous lid on you.
10:36 Speaker 04 Well, it's, but it's too, it's too short. If I wear a hat, I look ill.
10:42 Speaker 03 What do you, what do you mean?
10:43 Speaker 04 You know what I mean. I look...
10:47 Speaker 04 Like...
10:49 Speaker 04 Come on.
10:51 Speaker 04 I have a tortoise plug, please don't cancel me.
10:56 Speaker 03 Anyway, Maisie, thank you so much for coming to your session.
11:00 Speaker 04 Thank you, thank you.
11:01 Speaker 03 Here, we are going to delve into your mind.
11:03 Speaker 04 Okay.
11:04 Speaker 03 Deeply, shallow Lily, and on the side.
11:08 Speaker 04 Great.
11:10 Speaker 03 I think I've covered it all.
11:11 Speaker 05 I think you nailed that.
11:12 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
11:14 Speaker 03 And try and explore any sort of area that we believe you need some work and help on.
11:19 Speaker 04 Okay, great.
11:20 Speaker 03 In order for us to get to that point, we need to assess what issues you do have.
11:26 Speaker 04 Okay.
11:26 Speaker 03 And we ask every client that comes in to fill in a questionnaire.
11:31 Speaker 04 Okay.
11:32 Speaker 03 Full name.
11:33 Speaker 04 Maisie Elizabeth Adam.
11:35 Speaker 03 Nice, strong name, isn't it?
11:37 Speaker 05 Really strong middle name, yeah.
11:39 Speaker 04 I feel like every girl my age, I'm born in 1994, their middle names are always Elizabeth, Rose, Arnold, Louise.
11:47 Speaker 03 You were born in 1994?
11:49 Speaker 04 Yes.
11:49 Speaker 03 Shut the front door.
11:51 Speaker 04 Okay.
11:53 Speaker 03 You're four years younger than me.
11:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:56 Speaker 03 That's mental.
11:57 Speaker 04 What, did, did you think I was...
11:59 Speaker 03 Way older.
12:00 Speaker 04 Wow, great, good to know.
12:03 Speaker 03 Sorry, that was aggressive.
12:04 Speaker 04 No, that's really good, really good. And again, really glad this is visual. Really glad.
12:09 Speaker 05 I think even if you, even if you change the tone of how you deliver it, it's not great.
12:13 Speaker 04 Those cameras, these cameras HD, brilliant. Lovely. That was really good.
12:18 Speaker 03 Tone can be completely misinterpreted.
12:21 Speaker 04 I think that's what's just happened.
12:23 Speaker 03 Correct, so let me correct the tone.
12:24 Speaker 05 Jo, let me challenge you. Say, say, say what you said in the sweetest voice you can.
12:28 Speaker 04 Yes, please.
12:29 Speaker 05 Exactly the same wording.
12:30 Speaker 04 But you have to say the same thing.
12:32 Speaker 03 You were born in 1994?
12:34 Speaker 04 Yes, why?
12:35 Speaker 03 Oh my goodness.
12:36 Speaker 04 Did you think I was...
12:37 Speaker 03 I thought you were a lot older than that.
12:40 Speaker 05 That's worse.
12:40 Speaker 04 I think that's worse.
12:41 Speaker 05 It's worse in that tone, it's worse.
12:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
12:44 Speaker 03 Okay.
12:45 Speaker 04 That felt like you were concerned for like, how long left I have.
12:49 Speaker 05 She's not even wearing a hat.
12:50 Speaker 03 Oh, right.
12:53 Speaker 03 Oh, you're born in 94?
12:54 Speaker 04 Hmm.
12:55 Speaker 03 Wow.
12:55 Speaker 04 Why? Did you think I was?
12:57 Speaker 03 Well, I'm way younger than that.
12:58 Speaker 04 Thank you.
12:59 Speaker 03 Nah.
13:00 Speaker 04 Keep that one.
13:00 Speaker 03 Mm, mm, mm. Cool. But seriously, the reason I thought you were way older.
13:05 Speaker 04 Yep.
13:05 Speaker 03 Is because you've been around for years. It's like I've... No.
13:10 Speaker 04 No, Joe, just 31 years.
13:12 Speaker 03 No way.
13:13 Speaker 04 Just 31 years, yeah.
13:14 Speaker 05 The reason I thought you were way older is because of the classic way that time works.
13:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
13:19 Speaker 04 When you say I've been around way longer, what do you think you've seen me at?
13:22 Speaker 03 I've watched you.
13:23 Speaker 04 Do you think I was there at the fall of the Berlin Wall? Do you think I was there when the Titanic sank?
13:30 Speaker 03 Well, actually...
13:31 Speaker 04 Do you think I'm Benjamin Button?
13:33 Speaker 03 Whilst we're on the Titanic.
13:34 Speaker 04 Mm.
13:36 Speaker 03 Did you know Nintendo?
13:38 Speaker 04 Where's this come from? Go on.
13:40 Speaker 03 Nintendo was invented.
13:42 Speaker 04 Yep.
13:44 Speaker 03 At the same time the Titanic was.
13:46 Speaker 04 Yeah, I remember it well. Big day.
13:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
13:49 Speaker 04 Big day.
13:50 Speaker 03 What I was trying to say was... I can't believe you're that young.
13:55 Speaker 04 Yep.
13:55 Speaker 03 Because it feels like you've been around for an eternity. I've watched you.
14:03 Speaker 03 You're not playing fair. None of you are playing fair.
14:07 Speaker 04 It feels like you've been around for an eternity.
14:10 Speaker 03 What I'm saying... Oh, it's the question here.
14:13 Speaker 04 How am I gonna go, "Thank you"?
14:16 Speaker 03 Alright, star sign?
14:18 Speaker 04 Uh, Aquarius.
14:20 Speaker 03 Any good at swimming?
14:21 Speaker 04 Yeah, really good.
14:22 Speaker 03 Are you?
14:22 Speaker 04 Yeah.
14:23 Speaker 03 Do you put that down to the star sign?
14:25 Speaker 04 Uh, no, more just the lessons, I think.
14:28 Speaker 03 Occupation?
14:29 Speaker 04 Uh, oh, I don't like saying I'm a stand-up comedian, but stand-up comedian... I'll say it because I'm here to be a stand-up comedian. I'm a stand-up comedian, that's my occupation.
14:38 Speaker 03 Would there be anything else I can write?
14:40 Speaker 04 Just when other people ask, like, if I'm in a taxi, they'll go, "What, oh, like, what do you do?" I'd never say that I'm a comedian.
14:47 Speaker 03 What do you tell them?
14:48 Speaker 04 Say something vague, like, "Um, I work in events."
14:52 Speaker 03 Can you tell me a joke, then?
14:53 Speaker 04 Oh.
14:55 Speaker 03 Por favor.
14:56 Speaker 04 This is it, that everybody goes, "Tell us a joke," or they tell you a joke.
15:00 Speaker 03 That's actually the next question.
15:01 Speaker 04 What?
15:02 Speaker 03 Do you need to go first?
15:03 Speaker 04 You're gonna tell me a joke?
15:04 Speaker 03 Can I tell you a joke?
15:05 Speaker 04 Alright, you go first.
15:07 Speaker 03 Why?
15:09 Speaker 03 Are the organs that children have.
15:12 Speaker 05 Uh oh.
15:14 Speaker 03 Next to their livers called kidneys.
15:17 Speaker 04 I don't know, Joe.
15:18 Speaker 03 Sorry, I've got it wrong. Hang on.
15:21 Speaker 03 Sorry. Why do grownups, why do grownups call their kidneys kidneys?
15:29 Speaker 04 I don't know, Joe. Why do grownups call their kidneys their kidneys?
15:32 Speaker 03 Surely they should be called adult knees. Because they're not kids, they're grownups.
15:38 Speaker 04 Do you know what? I now feel really confident to tell my joke.
15:48 Speaker 04 I, I think you'll like this one. Two nuns are cycling through the back streets of Rome. One says to the other, I've not come this way before, and the other says, I think it's the cobbles.
16:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:02 Speaker 05 That is brilliant stuff. That's really great stuff.
16:05 Speaker 03 Worst habit.
16:06 Speaker 04 My husband says I don't, uh, when I brush my teeth, I don't bend down close enough to the sink. I'm too far away from the sink and he says that means I end up spitting on the mirror. I don't think I do this, but he says it's me.
16:23 Speaker 03 He wants you to bend over the sink more to brush your teeth?
16:26 Speaker 04 For a downward trajectory, whereas I think what I've got at the moment is more of a 45 degree angle.
16:31 Speaker 03 Uh, because you spit on the, the mirror?
16:33 Speaker 04 I just, I just release it from my mouth.
16:37 Speaker 03 Filthy spitter.
16:38 Speaker 04 No, don't put that down. No, come on. My mum will watch this.
16:43 Speaker 03 Will she?
16:43 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:44 Speaker 05 Does your mum like Jo Marler?
16:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:46 Speaker 05 Oh, that's great, isn't it?
16:47 Speaker 03 I, I know that that pause was long enough to know it wasn't the truth.
16:51 Speaker 05 No, that was definitely real.
16:51 Speaker 03 And actually what in her head, I realised.
16:53 Speaker 05 It's not, it's not real.
16:54 Speaker 03 That her mum would watch this, not because of me, but she watches everything that Maisie does.
17:01 Speaker 04 Oh, you're good. That's exactly it.
17:03 Speaker 05 I'm good reading people, honestly.
17:04 Speaker 03 Whether she likes it or not, she's proud of her daughter and she just wants to fucking watch everything she does.
17:09 Speaker 05 Did she listen to you when you came on my podcast, the pub quiz pod?
17:11 Speaker 04 Yes, yes. No, she did. She did. She watches all the clips.
17:15 Speaker 03 Yeah. Describe your mood.
17:17 Speaker 04 Yep.
17:18 Speaker 03 But as a haircut.
17:20 Speaker 04 Oh, a coiffured mullet.
17:24 Speaker 04 Like a
17:26 Speaker 05 Don't worry, Joel, give me it a Google.
17:27 Speaker 04 Like a meticulously quaffed mullet.
17:30 Speaker 05 Yeah, quaffed mullet, quaffed mullet. Wow.
17:33 Speaker 04 The reason I say that is like, it's meticulously done, but it's sort of meant to look fun and edgy. And I think that's me. I try to come across fun and edgy, but I'm incredibly highly strung and organised.
17:45 Speaker 03 You're very multifaceted.
17:47 Speaker 04 Thank you. It's probably because I've been around so long.
18:02 Speaker 03 Right, I think we've got something we can help you with.
18:04 Speaker 04 Great.
18:04 Speaker 03 Yeah, I think you've got a bit of an identity crisis.
18:08 Speaker 04 Great.
18:09 Speaker 03 Your image is constantly changing, meandering from haircut to haircut.
18:13 Speaker 04 Yep.
18:14 Speaker 03 Your tour's called What's Her Face?
18:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:16 Speaker 03 Has that got a question mark on the end?
18:18 Speaker 04 It does.
18:19 Speaker 03 Because what's her face?
18:20 Speaker 04 The name came from wanting to... Basically, when I was at the Euro Rose in the summer in Switzerland, I went to the game, to one of the games, and then the next day, there was an article by a football journalist who was like trying to describe the vibe at the stadium and she was saying how great it was and like how it was buzzing and everybody was really excited. And then there was one line that all my friends sent me and it said, "Fans were spilling into the stadium, very excited. Occasionally I'd hear, 'Oh, look, there's What's Her Face' as people rushed for a photo with Maisie Adam." And I think that basically sums up like where I'm at with my career is that there's actual evidence of people rushing for a photo.
19:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:03 Speaker 04 But even the people rushing for the photo don't really know who I am.
19:08 Speaker 03 Or why they're going for the photo.
19:10 Speaker 04 Yeah.
19:14 Speaker 03 Are there any sides of you that people might not be familiar with?
19:19 Speaker 04 I do sort of take...
19:23 Speaker 04 Oh, a sort of, well, an immoral pleasure in, in other people's misfortunes sometimes, but strangers. So.
19:33 Speaker 03 Oh, that makes it better.
19:34 Speaker 04 I think so. So like, I like a, um, you know, on chat forums where people are asking for advice and they've got a real sticky situation. Or people write in asking for advice to a magazine.
19:47 Speaker 03 Like an agony aunt.
19:48 Speaker 04 Yeah, I love all that.
19:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:50 Speaker 04 There's a, there's a Facebook group I'm in.
19:54 Speaker 04 Which I probably won't say the name of because it'll get me kicked out because you're not meant to talk about stuff in the group. But it's like, it ranges from people going like, oh, can anyone recommend a good plumber? To, I think my boyfriend's cheating on me. What do you think about these signs?
20:09 Speaker 03 So you, you troll through all of these chat forums?
20:12 Speaker 04 I do, I do, I do.
20:13 Speaker 03 And you enjoy that?
20:14 Speaker 04 Well, it's just nice to remember, like, especially if you've had a stressful day, it's nice to remember, like, some people have got it a bit worse.
20:22 Speaker 04 I, sometimes I read them, I go, oh, that's all right, at least, at least I'm not dealing with that.
20:27 Speaker 03 Any, any, any particular, you know, tasty disasters that spring to mind?
20:32 Speaker 04 Um, the best ones I find to be, like, there was one in this, in this, one for women in, in and around Brighton or Sussex. Um, I'm trying not to say the name of the group. Anyway, um, she had written, uh, that she keeps consistently dream cheating. You know, where you cheat on your partner, but in a dream.
20:52 Speaker 03 Hmm.
20:52 Speaker 04 Um, with her husband or boyfriend's brother. Yeah.
20:58 Speaker 03 Okay.
20:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, but she'd had these dreams, like, she was having them every night and they were really going at it in the dream. And she liked it in the dream, but she doesn't fancy him in real life, so she, she wasn't sure what it meant.
21:10 Speaker 05 I think we know what it means.
21:11 Speaker 04 Do you think? Because you can't help who you dream cheat with.
21:14 Speaker 05 No, but if you're, if you're dream cheating night after night after night with the same person and to then go, I'm not sure what it means. You know that it must mean you want to, you want to real cheat.
21:24 Speaker 04 I don't know, because you can have, you, you ever had a reoccurring dream? Like, my mum has a reoccurring dream that she's trapped in a shed with Lisa Stansfield. And she, she does, but Lisa Stansfield won't let her leave the shed until she, until my mum sings Murder on the Dance Floor by Sophie Ellis-Bextor. And my, my dad will be woken up because my mum is singing Murder on the Dance Floor in her sleep.
21:44 Speaker 03 No.
21:44 Speaker 04 Yeah, and this happens most nights.
21:47 Speaker 03 Quite a change.
21:47 Speaker 04 I think my dad's gonna leave.
21:52 Speaker 04 Have you, like, and I, I've dream cheated, but it's not with somebody, like, you don't, you can't control it.
21:58 Speaker 03 Who, who have you dream cheated with?
22:00 Speaker 04 Well, mine was Clive Myrie.
22:03 Speaker 03 Why?
22:03 Speaker 04 I don't know. I like Mastermind, but not that much.
22:06 Speaker 05 I'll start and so I'll finish.
22:14 Speaker 04 It's in the chair.
22:16 Speaker 05 Is it really?
22:16 Speaker 04 It's in the chair.
22:18 Speaker 05 And have you, and, and, and in, in the dream, have you, have you, where, where, at what point in the show are you? Have you done introductions?
22:23 Speaker 04 I can't talk about it.
22:24 Speaker 05 Have you done specialist subject, or are you, are you waiting till your turn to then do the general knowledge round?
22:30 Speaker 04 I can't. Oh, God. We, um, we've finished filming and we're the last two people in the studio. He's old enough to be my dad. He's, I'm sure happily married, as am I.
22:43 Speaker 03 You can't, you can't control who you sleep with in your dreams.
22:47 Speaker 04 This is what I mean. So I don't think this woman is, like, fancying her brother-in-law.
22:51 Speaker 03 No.
22:52 Speaker 05 I suppose it's about what it symbolizes. I mean, for you, it's, it's, you, you, you have a lust for knowledge, I think is what it is.
22:59 Speaker 04 Exactly. That's, that's it.
23:01 Speaker 05 I, I don't know what the Sophie and the Dexter one is, but we'll, we'll work on it.
23:07 Speaker 03 Just wanted to say a quick thank you to our sponsor, Giacomo. Whatever look you're into, they've got all the brands worth knowing.
23:14 Speaker 05 Even if that look is being a sporty, a sporty guy like you are?
23:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, they do.
23:18 Speaker 05 You're a sporty guy, aren't you?
23:19 Speaker 03 Am I?
23:20 Speaker 05 Yeah. What, professional rugby player?
23:23 Speaker 03 But, but I'm a former professional. Does that still make me sporty?
23:26 Speaker 05 Yeah, you played padel, paddle?
23:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, good.
23:29 Speaker 05 Well, how do you say it? Padel?
23:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, uh, depends.
23:31 Speaker 05 What's the, what's, what's, what's the clothing needed for that?
23:35 Speaker 03 Like, any padel-type clothing.
23:37 Speaker 05 Oh, brilliant, that's what you said.
23:38 Speaker 03 Like a sports brand.
23:38 Speaker 05 Honestly, you saying padel-type clothing's really cleared it up for me. I really think, I really think as someone who's just come to you earnestly being like, honestly, Joe, you play padel, what do you wear for, for padel?
23:47 Speaker 03 Go on.
23:49 Speaker 05 What do you wear?
23:51 Speaker 03 Just one more time for me.
23:52 Speaker 05 You say padel, start clothing. I've, it's hard to take the piss out of you when you then stumble on your words. One of the worst things you can do in an argument is when you're saying like, yeah, well, you didn't probably, probably just fart. Hell! I hate that though when that happens.
24:06 Speaker 03 No, you're right, you're right. I still do like my sport, especially Padell.
24:10 Speaker 05 Because this is the year where I'm trying to get my fitness sorted. I've been going to the gym more. I think for when, well, I've not even asked you yet, but if we play Padell together, I just want to get my clothing sort of look sorted for that. If we play, if you would like to play Padell.
24:26 Speaker 03 Right.
24:26 Speaker 05 You're swiveled.
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24:39 Speaker 05 Because you have swiveled.
24:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I'll come back to you.
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26:17 Speaker 03 In the pie chart of Maisie Adams' identities.
26:19 Speaker 04 Yes.
26:20 Speaker 03 How big of a slice is the football?
26:24 Speaker 04 Oh, that's good. I would say. A, I didn't do maths, that, like a bit bigger than a sliver.
26:33 Speaker 03 Thirty five percent, forty.
26:34 Speaker 04 Yeah.
26:35 Speaker 03 Um, so you describe yourself as a competitive person then?
26:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, now this is a dark side actually.
26:42 Speaker 03 Oh.
26:43 Speaker 04 The football I do play is either like Sunday league in Brighton or a charity match. So there's no need for me to be competitive, even in my actual job comedy, there's no need to be competitive.
26:55 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, I'm well aware of how competitive you are.
26:58 Speaker 04 It's terrible.
26:58 Speaker 03 That hit list that we did together.
27:00 Speaker 04 Do you remember?
27:01 Speaker 03 You're a disgrace.
27:02 Speaker 04 Excuse me, we won.
27:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, well, even competitive in that response.
27:09 Speaker 04 You can be my bodyguard, you can call me Al. There we go.
27:12 Speaker 03 Hello.
27:13 Speaker 04 This is Lionel Richie.
27:14 Speaker 03 No, Adele.
27:15 Speaker 04 Adele.
27:16 Speaker 05 Well, you.
27:17 Speaker 04 Yeah, but you went too low, you went her. What's, how does he say hello? He goes.
27:22 Speaker 03 Hello?
27:22 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, she's hello.
27:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, which is the one I did.
27:25 Speaker 04 Yeah, you're right, you're right, sorry.
27:28 Speaker 05 What was your team dynamic like on the show?
27:29 Speaker 04 This.
27:30 Speaker 03 Strange.
27:30 Speaker 04 This.
27:31 Speaker 03 It was, it was the first time we'd met.
27:33 Speaker 04 We hadn't met before, yeah, and I think that was apparent.
27:36 Speaker 03 Hmm.
27:36 Speaker 04 Because.
27:37 Speaker 03 Them two will be all right together.
27:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
27:39 Speaker 05 What was their reason? Because normally it's, you know, it's their, their, their radio DJs, so they probably, you know, you can see them being together or their kids TV presenters. What was the sort of rationale for you to be together?
27:47 Speaker 04 I imagine.
27:48 Speaker 03 Hair.
27:48 Speaker 04 Another, oh, do you reckon?
27:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's true, actually, between the two of us, we had a full head.
27:55 Speaker 04 We did. Because I, at the time, my, my skinhead, so I was shaved at the back and you were shaved at the sides.
28:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
28:03 Speaker 04 Those ones where you're really competitive, but it's for charity, it just looks like you really care. What I can struggle with is, is just being competitive. Um.
28:11 Speaker 03 Do you think that competitive nature drove you to arguably, you can correct me if I'm wrong, to your biggest success champion of Taskmaster?
28:23 Speaker 05 Oh, nice.
28:24 Speaker 04 Yeah, I think so, actually, that's, that's good.
28:27 Speaker 03 Can we have a round of applause?
28:28 Speaker 04 That is good, that is good.
28:30 Speaker 03 You also see.
28:31 Speaker 04 Well, you've hit the nail on the head there because Taskmaster, they want you to be competitive. Like, if you, if you kind of sail in and like, you don't really care. It doesn't look, it doesn't work. So they want you to have like a breakdown and, and lose your mind, which is exactly what happened. And I think it, it was okay. Hit List, we got away with it because we looked keen for the charity.
28:56 Speaker 03 And the others were shit. They were shit.
28:58 Speaker 04 They were quite bad.
28:59 Speaker 03 Chris McCollum and John Thompson were shit.
29:01 Speaker 04 But they were quite visibly annoyed at, at leaving first.
29:05 Speaker 03 See, she remembers.
29:06 Speaker 04 Do you remember?
29:06 Speaker 03 And how buzzing were we?
29:07 Speaker 04 It's filmed up in Glasgow. It's a long way to travel to, to be out within 15 minutes of a, of a half hour show, isn't it?
29:14 Speaker 03 Livid.
29:15 Speaker 04 They were livid.
29:16 Speaker 03 Livid.
29:17 Speaker 04 Lovely men, but livid men.
29:19 Speaker 05 When I wrote questions on, I used to write questions on The Chase. We did the celebrity, we did the celebrity chase and we had John Sargent on there. And, and he had a question, which was, and he was gonna get caught on this one. Which was, in, in 1980, whatever, where were the jam going? Were they going overground, underground or wumbling free? And he said, I'd like to lock in wumbling free.
29:43 Speaker 04 No!
29:44 Speaker 05 Got kicked off the chase and then afterwards stormed out and said, I told you, Lister, I don't do pop music.
29:50 Speaker 04 No!
29:51 Speaker 05 I don't do popular current music.
29:54 Speaker 04 I don't know.
29:54 Speaker 05 Sorry that we put in this question about the jam from 1980. And you'd gone with wumbling free? I mean, even going, even going overground would have been like.
30:02 Speaker 04 For saying with a straight face, I'd like to lock in wobble.
30:08 Speaker 05 You, you've done The Chase, haven't you, Maisie?
30:10 Speaker 04 Yes, Jake, I have. Not the celebrity chase. I did The Chase before becoming a standard.
30:17 Speaker 05 It's one of my favourite things.
30:18 Speaker 04 Yeah. And then.
30:21 Speaker 04 I remember like being so, so excited and then very much realising how out of my depth I was. The best bit, I don't think this made the edit, but the best bit was the woman in, so I was like third in the line up. The first guy I think took the middle offer and made it back home. Then there was this woman. She was maybe like, I would guess in her mid to late sixties. And she was very nice and she went up and she won fifty eight grand. She took the higher offer and she brought it back. And Bradley Walsh went to her and if you won like that whole money, like what would you do with fifty eight grand? And she went, well, me and my mum want to see lots of different types of monkeys.
31:02 Speaker 04 We want like, we keep trying to tick off all these different kind of monkey and there's a certain breed of monkey that we'd like to see. So I was thinking like, bloody hell, she's gonna have to go to, I don't know, Borneo, somewhere like that. And Bradley Walsh went, right, so where do you get that monkey? She went Dudley Safari Park.
31:18 Speaker 04 You've won fifty eight grand, Mary.
31:22 Speaker 04 The sky's the limit, babe. Like Dudley, you'll win fifty eight grand and go to Dudley.
31:28 Speaker 03 Do you think that was your breakthrough moment then?
31:30 Speaker 04 No, no, because I went, I was next. I took the minus offer. Um, still, still lost, didn't make it back. Yeah.
31:38 Speaker 05 I bet Mary was thinking, yeah, that's right.
31:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, honestly, I reckon she, if she ever sees me on the TV now, she must just think thick bent. She must.
31:49 Speaker 03 Another identity.
31:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, thick bent. So it's comedian footballer.
31:53 Speaker 03 Comedian, footballer, game show maestro.
31:57 Speaker 04 Yep.
31:58 Speaker 03 A Reddit troll and a thick bent.
32:00 Speaker 04 Yep, great, lovely.
32:05 Speaker 03 You wanted to be an actor growing up?
32:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, like I did drama.
32:10 Speaker 03 How did it then transition to stand up comedy?
32:13 Speaker 04 Oh, uh, well, I went to drama school, came out after three years. Um, with no agent, no job offers, moved back home with my mum and dad. And just was like, was getting, I was going up for just the worst acting roles, like.
32:34 Speaker 04 There was one role that I was like, God, if I get this, it might be my big break. And it was to be in the queue in a bank advert. Like, to be in the queue to see the person at the bank.
32:43 Speaker 03 No lines?
32:43 Speaker 04 No lines.
32:44 Speaker 05 Did you have to send a self tape?
32:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:48 Speaker 05 What did you do? Can you do what you did in self?
32:49 Speaker 04 You have to like show the size of your hands and say where you're based. But I didn't have any lines, so I was just going, my name's Maisie, these are my hands.
32:58 Speaker 05 Did you stand in queue for them in tape?
33:02 Speaker 04 Like, not, well, there wasn't anybody else, so I just stood like I was in a queue.
33:08 Speaker 04 Is it weirder if you get a friend to queue with you?
33:13 Speaker 05 I don't know about her, but the friend?
33:15 Speaker 04 Oh, that would, that would be.
33:17 Speaker 03 Heartbreaking.
33:18 Speaker 04 That would be detrimental to my, my wellbeing is if I sent in a video of me and my friend queuing and the friend got, got the role of queer.
33:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, but thank goodness you didn't get that role as the queer.
33:30 Speaker 04 Thank God I didn't become a queer.
33:31 Speaker 03 Because if you had got that role, you might not have then gone on to what you've done.
33:36 Speaker 04 No, I suspect not a lot would have come from queuing. And I, I think just out of like desperation to perform because I wasn't, I wasn't getting the queuing gigs. Um, I decided to give stand up a go.
33:50 Speaker 03 Well, why? That's quite a big fucking jump to go.
33:52 Speaker 04 I'd always liked stand up and I'd always want, like, I'd go and watch it and really, like, I really, really love making people laugh. If it's, if I can make a stranger laugh, I'm like, nailed it.
34:03 Speaker 03 Do you find it, do you find it hard?
34:04 Speaker 04 That's so sad.
34:05 Speaker 05 That's beautiful.
34:06 Speaker 03 That's beautiful. It's the truth, isn't it?
34:08 Speaker 04 But it's true, like.
34:09 Speaker 03 It's true.
34:09 Speaker 04 If I meet a friend's friend at a wedding, like, you know, when you get sat next to somebody. Like, I'm not like trying to be on, but I just like.
34:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, you like making people laugh.
34:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:19 Speaker 03 Whereas in, in my situation, if I was at that wedding and sat next to a stranger, I'd leave.
34:25 Speaker 04 Really?
34:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:26 Speaker 04 Just not interested in?
34:27 Speaker 03 Because I'd only upset them.
34:29 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:29 Speaker 03 And even though they do nothing to me.
34:30 Speaker 04 Why would you upset them?
34:31 Speaker 03 I don't know. That's just what I do, isn't it?
34:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:33 Speaker 03 Even though they do nothing to me, I'd be upset. So I'd just get in the car and leave.
34:37 Speaker 04 Leave the wedding?
34:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:39 Speaker 04 Because you're sat next to someone you don't know?
34:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, actually, that's a lie. I wouldn't even go.
34:42 Speaker 04 You wouldn't go?
34:43 Speaker 03 Don't like going anywhere.
34:46 Speaker 04 When your friends invite you to a wedding, do you ask to see a list of who else is going?
34:50 Speaker 03 Well, fortunately for me, I don't have any. So.
34:53 Speaker 05 You get the phone call, it's like, Joe, we've got some news, we're getting married, we're getting married, it's gonna be next year. Yeah, well, I only upset everyone like I always do, so I won't be going, goodbye.
35:03 Speaker 04 Have you ever been a best man?
35:04 Speaker 03 Said no.
35:05 Speaker 04 You said no?
35:07 Speaker 05 Did you really?
35:07 Speaker 03 Yeah. I said no, I made up an excuse.
35:12 Speaker 05 You said no? No one's ever said no.
35:14 Speaker 03 I said no, made up an excuse that I wasn't gonna be in the country. I was still playing rugby at the time and there was gonna be a tour on that date. It then turned out that the dates didn't clash, so I was available. But then they were like, oh, so you're over, and I went, yeah, but it's fine, you just crack on, you know, if you've already, you know, it's fine.
35:34 Speaker 04 I think that's one of the biggest differences, though. You said no to being best man. I watch best men at weddings, knowing I could never have been a best man because I'm not a man and often I know the bride, not the groom.
35:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:47 Speaker 04 But I watch the best men's speeches and think, I should have done it.
35:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:52 Speaker 04 I could have done that.
35:52 Speaker 03 Oh, you, you said.
35:53 Speaker 04 Watching best men's speeches is like watching somebody do my job badly.
35:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:58 Speaker 04 It's so, I can't, I can't do it, I can't do it.
36:02 Speaker 03 So that's actually then.
36:03 Speaker 04 The mic technique, the way they pause for a laugh.
36:07 Speaker 05 The one, one of the worst is then, is then getting the gag, being pleased about it and then going, but seriously.
36:13 Speaker 04 Yeah.
36:14 Speaker 05 And then trying to get into an emotional bit.
36:15 Speaker 04 There's this weird thing with best men as well, where like, it's the one speech which is like seen traditionally as quite, they always, they always try and roast the groom. So they basically go like, you're a piece, you're a piece of shit, you're so ugly and you've never deserved love and you, you look like an idiot and you're embarrassing and you can't pull anybody, but seriously, Emma looks beautiful today. Like, the segue is insane. They'll tell a really inappropriate story about this bloke in front of his grandma.
36:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:43 Speaker 04 Oh, do you remember when you did loads of coke and shagged that 45-year-old? Anyway, Emma, I think we can all agree, looks absolutely stunning today. And she's just blended into the, like, it's so odd.
36:58 Speaker 03 We've got one final exercise.
37:00 Speaker 04 Okay, great.
37:00 Speaker 03 To see if we can help. What you have is skill and a drive to not only try, but excel at multiple things.
37:11 Speaker 04 Yes, please.
37:12 Speaker 03 But what I'm not having is the bullshit position of you being a Leeds United fan and living in Brighton.
37:23 Speaker 04 Why? People can move. People can migrate, geese migrate.
37:28 Speaker 03 You're claiming
37:29 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:30 Speaker 03 all the benefits of Brighton. You enjoy everything about Brighton. You love Brighton, don't you?
37:34 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:35 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:36 Speaker 03 But you don't give back. To help put this to bed, once and for all, Jake and I have devised a little exercise called All Roads Leeds to Brighton.
37:47 Speaker 05 So we'll offer you two things. One of them will be from Brighton, one of them will be from Leeds. You'll be following your gut to say which thing means the most to you. And based on your scores, we'll get a good picture as to whether truly you are at heart a Brightonian
38:00 Speaker 04 Oh, I see, it's not.
38:00 Speaker 05 or a Leedsonian.
38:01 Speaker 04 Fine.
38:02 Speaker 03 Ready?
38:02 Speaker 04 Yep.
38:04 Speaker 03 Aquariums?
38:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
38:05 Speaker 03 Or jelly tots?
38:07 Speaker 04 Jelly tots.
38:08 Speaker 03 Where are jelly tots from, Jake?
38:10 Speaker 05 So jelly tots are indeed from Leeds. Accidentally invented by Dr Brian Boffey, the most boring sounding man ever, apparently, in the 1960s. Whereas aquariums, Brighton Sea Life was the first one in 1872.
38:24 Speaker 04 Great, lovely.
38:25 Speaker 03 Like aquariums?
38:27 Speaker 04 No, not really.
38:28 Speaker 03 Why?
38:28 Speaker 04 It's like the sea but not real.
38:33 Speaker 03 Marks and Spencer's or The Body Shop?
38:36 Speaker 04 Marks and Spencer's.
38:37 Speaker 03 Where's Marks and Spencer's originate from?
38:39 Speaker 04 The first one was in Kirkgate Market, Leeds.
38:41 Speaker 05 The first one was created in 1884 at a stall in Kirkgate Market in Leeds. Unbelievable. She's Leeds through and through, Joe. There's no beating this.
38:52 Speaker 03 Yeah, well, we'll see. Nudist beaches?
38:55 Speaker 04 Oh.
38:55 Speaker 03 Or commercially successful steam locomotives?
39:01 Speaker 04 I didn't know there was a nudist beach at Brighton until like a few months in there and I just went for a walk. I just went for a walk and I was like, what is happening here?
39:11 Speaker 04 It was like being in The Butchers, it was absolutely terrifying.
39:16 Speaker 04 Steam locomotives.
39:18 Speaker 03 Right, where was the steam locomotive made?
39:19 Speaker 05 Well, the steam locomotive was the first commercially successful one, of course, I don't want to get confused with prototypes. 1812 by Matthew Murray of Holbeck. Whereas, yeah, Brighton, obviously, the first public naturist beach in 1918.
39:34 Speaker 03 What about electric trains?
39:36 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:37 Speaker 03 Or selfies?
39:38 Speaker 05 Ooh.
39:39 Speaker 04 Electric trains or selfies? Oh.
39:43 Speaker 03 What do you prefer?
39:44 Speaker 04 Well, I don't like a selfie because I never get my angles right.
39:47 Speaker 03 And trains?
39:47 Speaker 04 I do like trains. Not in like a weird way, like, but, yeah, trains. Electric trains.
39:54 Speaker 03 Good, electric trains.
39:56 Speaker 04 Oh, that's Brighton, innit?
39:57 Speaker 03 Where did electric trains come from, Jake?
39:59 Speaker 05 It's Brighton, Volks electric railway, the world's oldest operating electric railway, running across the seafront. 1883. And then the selfie thing, that was apparently taken by an astronomer in 1883 called Washington Teasdale.
40:14 Speaker 04 Right, where's this linking to Leeds?
40:18 Speaker 05 At Kirkstal Abbey.
40:20 Speaker 04 Oh.
40:20 Speaker 05 Kirkstal Abbey, sorry.
40:24 Speaker 05 Thank you for that. Because I would have been completely forgotten.
40:27 Speaker 04 He just took a photo to an astronomer. I was like, where's the Leeds lead?
40:30 Speaker 03 Mate, this is close.
40:31 Speaker 04 It was a selfie with Mel B.
40:32 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:33 Speaker 03 This is close, and it's currently 3-1 in Leeds' favour.
40:36 Speaker 04 Oh, good, come on.
40:37 Speaker 03 Pornography or dialysis?
40:40 Speaker 04 Something that cleans your blood.
40:42 Speaker 05 To keep you alive.
40:43 Speaker 04 To keep you alive. Or pornography. I'll go for dialysis, I reckon, given my mum's going to watch this.
40:49 Speaker 03 Right, where's dialysis invented?
40:51 Speaker 05 Well, the first ever dialysis unit was at Leeds General Infirmary, yeah. Apparently, according to the BFI, Esme Collins in 1897, in A Woman Undressing, was Britain's first erotic film, and it was in Brighton.
41:05 Speaker 04 Course it was.
41:06 Speaker 05 Yeah.
41:06 Speaker 04 Course it was, full of little minxes, isn't it, Brighton? Everyone's at it.
41:10 Speaker 05 It's 4 to Leeds, though, Maisie. You are a Leeds person through and through.
41:15 Speaker 03 Marching on together!
41:20 Speaker 03 What's that?
41:21 Speaker 04 That's the song we sing at Leeds. We're gonna see you win. Ba da da da da da. We are so proud. We shouted out loud, we love you Leeds. Leeds.
41:33 Speaker 05 Leeds.
41:34 Speaker 03 Leeds.
41:34 Speaker 04 There, there it is.
41:35 Speaker 05 What did Brighton do, Joe?
41:37 Speaker 03 Albion. Albion.
41:43 Speaker 04 You sound like you're having a stroke.
41:45 Speaker 05 God.
41:50 Speaker 03 Right, well, we've come to the end of today's session. Thank you very much, Maisie. Do you feel like you've made some progress in your identity crisis?
41:58 Speaker 04 Um, I think the only thing I've got to take going forward from this is maybe I need a skincare routine.
42:03 Speaker 05 If it makes you feel any better, he's 25.
42:07 Speaker 05 That's what Robbie will do, yeah?
42:08 Speaker 04 Thank you.
42:09 Speaker 03 Before you go, as we do with every guest, we give them a badge to remind them of the progress that they've made in today's session.
42:16 Speaker 04 That's nice.
42:17 Speaker 03 Jake, have we made up a badge today?
42:18 Speaker 05 I've got a badge right here, Joe.
42:19 Speaker 03 Okay, what have we got?
42:20 Speaker 05 We have for you to wear out with pride, Brighton Rocks.
42:24 Speaker 04 Brighton Rocks.
42:25 Speaker 03 Brighton Rocks, hmm.
42:27 Speaker 04 Yep, do you know what? I, it's so nice, I'm not gonna wear it now, I'm gonna keep it, you know, pristine.
42:33 Speaker 03 Maisie Adam, everybody! Thank you.
42:37 Speaker 03 Janet? Yeah, she's just coming now, thank you, goodbye.
42:41 Speaker 04 Nice to see ya.
42:45 Speaker 03 If you want to join the doctor's waiting list, then please subscribe to our YouTube channel and follow us on Instagram, at We'll See You Now Show. Remember, unless it's not clear enough already, I'm not a real doctor. If you need any professional help, you'll find a link to great support services on our Instagram. I've been Joe Marler, and this has been Joe Marler Will See You Now, presented by Giacomo. I'll see you next time. Bye bye.
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